Move to the stable ABI in wheels from python 3.12+

[mattip]

I saw in #2028 that this project has hit some limitations of PyPI storage space. I would point out that scipy and skikit-learn are investigating using the limited API (abi3 wheels) so they only need one wheel for each platform (maybe two if free threading is a consideration), rather than a matrix of (platform) * (python version). This is possible for Python3.12+ when using Cython, which AFAICT this project does extensively.

Something to think about...

[da-woods]

[...] Python3.12+ when using Cython [...]

For most people the real cut-off is Python 3.11 (since that's where memoryviews are introduced). If you don't use memoryviews then you can probably go down to 3.9+.

(3.12 gives you vectorcall which helps with speed. So may well be a good choice for a lot of projects. But it anything that works on 3.12 should work on lower versions too)