diff --git a/MP3.docx b/MP3.docx new file mode 100644 index 0000000..c90d1e5 Binary files /dev/null and b/MP3.docx differ diff --git a/Text1.txt b/Text1.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..b056bb8 --- /dev/null +++ b/Text1.txt @@ -0,0 +1,15865 @@ +A TALE OF TWO CITIES + +A STORY OF THE FRENCH REVOLUTION + +By Charles Dickens + + +CONTENTS + + + Book the First--Recalled to Life + + Chapter I The Period + Chapter II The Mail + Chapter III The Night Shadows + Chapter IV The Preparation + Chapter V The Wine-shop + Chapter VI The Shoemaker + + + Book the Second--the Golden Thread + + Chapter I Five Years Later + Chapter II A Sight + Chapter III A Disappointment + Chapter IV Congratulatory + Chapter V The Jackal + Chapter VI Hundreds of People + Chapter VII Monseigneur in Town + Chapter VIII Monseigneur in the Country + Chapter IX The Gorgon's Head + Chapter X Two Promises + Chapter XI A Companion Picture + Chapter XII The Fellow of Delicacy + Chapter XIII The Fellow of no Delicacy + Chapter XIV The Honest Tradesman + Chapter XV Knitting + Chapter XVI Still Knitting + Chapter XVII One Night + Chapter XVIII Nine Days + Chapter XIX An Opinion + Chapter XX A Plea + Chapter XXI Echoing Footsteps + Chapter XXII The Sea Still Rises + Chapter XXIII Fire Rises + Chapter XXIV Drawn to the Loadstone Rock + + + Book the Third--the Track of a Storm + + Chapter I In Secret + Chapter II The Grindstone + Chapter III The Shadow + Chapter IV Calm in Storm + Chapter V The Wood-sawyer + Chapter VI Triumph + Chapter VII A Knock at the Door + Chapter VIII A Hand at Cards + Chapter IX The Game Made + Chapter X The Substance of the Shadow + Chapter XI Dusk + Chapter XII Darkness + Chapter XIII Fifty-two + Chapter XIV The Knitting Done + Chapter XV The Footsteps Die Out For Ever + + + + + +Book the First--Recalled to Life + + + + +I. The Period + + +It was the best of times, +it was the worst of times, +it was the age of wisdom, +it was the age of foolishness, +it was the epoch of belief, +it was the epoch of incredulity, +it was the season of Light, +it was the season of Darkness, +it was the spring of hope, +it was the winter of despair, +we had everything before us, +we had nothing before us, +we were all going direct to Heaven, +we were all going direct the other way-- +in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of +its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for +evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only. + +There were a king with a large jaw and a queen with a plain face, on the +throne of England; there were a king with a large jaw and a queen with +a fair face, on the throne of France. In both countries it was clearer +than crystal to the lords of the State preserves of loaves and fishes, +that things in general were settled for ever. + +It was the year of Our Lord one thousand seven hundred and seventy-five. +Spiritual revelations were conceded to England at that favoured period, +as at this. Mrs. Southcott had recently attained her five-and-twentieth +blessed birthday, of whom a prophetic private in the Life Guards had +heralded the sublime appearance by announcing that arrangements were +made for the swallowing up of London and Westminster. Even the Cock-lane +ghost had been laid only a round dozen of years, after rapping out its +messages, as the spirits of this very year last past (supernaturally +deficient in originality) rapped out theirs. Mere messages in the +earthly order of events had lately come to the English Crown and People, +from a congress of British subjects in America: which, strange +to relate, have proved more important to the human race than any +communications yet received through any of the chickens of the Cock-lane +brood. + +France, less favoured on the whole as to matters spiritual than her +sister of the shield and trident, rolled with exceeding smoothness down +hill, making paper money and spending it. Under the guidance of her +Christian pastors, she entertained herself, besides, with such humane +achievements as sentencing a youth to have his hands cut off, his tongue +torn out with pincers, and his body burned alive, because he had not +kneeled down in the rain to do honour to a dirty procession of monks +which passed within his view, at a distance of some fifty or sixty +yards. It is likely enough that, rooted in the woods of France and +Norway, there were growing trees, when that sufferer was put to death, +already marked by the Woodman, Fate, to come down and be sawn into +boards, to make a certain movable framework with a sack and a knife in +it, terrible in history. It is likely enough that in the rough outhouses +of some tillers of the heavy lands adjacent to Paris, there were +sheltered from the weather that very day, rude carts, bespattered with +rustic mire, snuffed about by pigs, and roosted in by poultry, which +the Farmer, Death, had already set apart to be his tumbrils of +the Revolution. But that Woodman and that Farmer, though they work +unceasingly, work silently, and no one heard them as they went about +with muffled tread: the rather, forasmuch as to entertain any suspicion +that they were awake, was to be atheistical and traitorous. + +In England, there was scarcely an amount of order and protection to +justify much national boasting. Daring burglaries by armed men, and +highway robberies, took place in the capital itself every night; +families were publicly cautioned not to go out of town without removing +their furniture to upholsterers' warehouses for security; the highwayman +in the dark was a City tradesman in the light, and, being recognised and +challenged by his fellow-tradesman whom he stopped in his character of +"the Captain," gallantly shot him through the head and rode away; the +mail was waylaid by seven robbers, and the guard shot three dead, and +then got shot dead himself by the other four, "in consequence of the +failure of his ammunition:" after which the mail was robbed in peace; +that magnificent potentate, the Lord Mayor of London, was made to stand +and deliver on Turnham Green, by one highwayman, who despoiled the +illustrious creature in sight of all his retinue; prisoners in London +gaols fought battles with their turnkeys, and the majesty of the law +fired blunderbusses in among them, loaded with rounds of shot and ball; +thieves snipped off diamond crosses from the necks of noble lords at +Court drawing-rooms; musketeers went into St. Giles's, to search +for contraband goods, and the mob fired on the musketeers, and the +musketeers fired on the mob, and nobody thought any of these occurrences +much out of the common way. In the midst of them, the hangman, ever busy +and ever worse than useless, was in constant requisition; now, stringing +up long rows of miscellaneous criminals; now, hanging a housebreaker on +Saturday who had been taken on Tuesday; now, burning people in the +hand at Newgate by the dozen, and now burning pamphlets at the door of +Westminster Hall; to-day, taking the life of an atrocious murderer, +and to-morrow of a wretched pilferer who had robbed a farmer's boy of +sixpence. + +All these things, and a thousand like them, came to pass in and close +upon the dear old year one thousand seven hundred and seventy-five. +Environed by them, while the Woodman and the Farmer worked unheeded, +those two of the large jaws, and those other two of the plain and the +fair faces, trod with stir enough, and carried their divine rights +with a high hand. Thus did the year one thousand seven hundred +and seventy-five conduct their Greatnesses, and myriads of small +creatures--the creatures of this chronicle among the rest--along the +roads that lay before them. + + + + +II. The Mail + + +It was the Dover road that lay, on a Friday night late in November, +before the first of the persons with whom this history has business. +The Dover road lay, as to him, beyond the Dover mail, as it lumbered up +Shooter's Hill. He walked up hill in the mire by the side of the mail, +as the rest of the passengers did; not because they had the least relish +for walking exercise, under the circumstances, but because the hill, +and the harness, and the mud, and the mail, were all so heavy, that the +horses had three times already come to a stop, besides once drawing the +coach across the road, with the mutinous intent of taking it back +to Blackheath. Reins and whip and coachman and guard, however, in +combination, had read that article of war which forbade a purpose +otherwise strongly in favour of the argument, that some brute animals +are endued with Reason; and the team had capitulated and returned to +their duty. + +With drooping heads and tremulous tails, they mashed their way through +the thick mud, floundering and stumbling between whiles, as if they were +falling to pieces at the larger joints. As often as the driver rested +them and brought them to a stand, with a wary "Wo-ho! so-ho-then!" the +near leader violently shook his head and everything upon it--like an +unusually emphatic horse, denying that the coach could be got up the +hill. Whenever the leader made this rattle, the passenger started, as a +nervous passenger might, and was disturbed in mind. + +There was a steaming mist in all the hollows, and it had roamed in its +forlornness up the hill, like an evil spirit, seeking rest and finding +none. A clammy and intensely cold mist, it made its slow way through the +air in ripples that visibly followed and overspread one another, as the +waves of an unwholesome sea might do. It was dense enough to shut out +everything from the light of the coach-lamps but these its own workings, +and a few yards of road; and the reek of the labouring horses steamed +into it, as if they had made it all. + +Two other passengers, besides the one, were plodding up the hill by the +side of the mail. All three were wrapped to the cheekbones and over the +ears, and wore jack-boots. Not one of the three could have said, from +anything he saw, what either of the other two was like; and each was +hidden under almost as many wrappers from the eyes of the mind, as from +the eyes of the body, of his two companions. In those days, travellers +were very shy of being confidential on a short notice, for anybody on +the road might be a robber or in league with robbers. As to the latter, +when every posting-house and ale-house could produce somebody in +"the Captain's" pay, ranging from the landlord to the lowest stable +non-descript, it was the likeliest thing upon the cards. So the guard +of the Dover mail thought to himself, that Friday night in November, one +thousand seven hundred and seventy-five, lumbering up Shooter's Hill, as +he stood on his own particular perch behind the mail, beating his feet, +and keeping an eye and a hand on the arm-chest before him, where a +loaded blunderbuss lay at the top of six or eight loaded horse-pistols, +deposited on a substratum of cutlass. + +The Dover mail was in its usual genial position that the guard suspected +the passengers, the passengers suspected one another and the guard, they +all suspected everybody else, and the coachman was sure of nothing but +the horses; as to which cattle he could with a clear conscience have +taken his oath on the two Testaments that they were not fit for the +journey. + +"Wo-ho!" said the coachman. "So, then! One more pull and you're at the +top and be damned to you, for I have had trouble enough to get you to +it!--Joe!" + +"Halloa!" the guard replied. + +"What o'clock do you make it, Joe?" + +"Ten minutes, good, past eleven." + +"My blood!" ejaculated the vexed coachman, "and not atop of Shooter's +yet! Tst! Yah! Get on with you!" + +The emphatic horse, cut short by the whip in a most decided negative, +made a decided scramble for it, and the three other horses followed +suit. Once more, the Dover mail struggled on, with the jack-boots of its +passengers squashing along by its side. They had stopped when the coach +stopped, and they kept close company with it. If any one of the three +had had the hardihood to propose to another to walk on a little ahead +into the mist and darkness, he would have put himself in a fair way of +getting shot instantly as a highwayman. + +The last burst carried the mail to the summit of the hill. The horses +stopped to breathe again, and the guard got down to skid the wheel for +the descent, and open the coach-door to let the passengers in. + +"Tst! Joe!" cried the coachman in a warning voice, looking down from his +box. + +"What do you say, Tom?" + +They both listened. + +"I say a horse at a canter coming up, Joe." + +"_I_ say a horse at a gallop, Tom," returned the guard, leaving his hold +of the door, and mounting nimbly to his place. "Gentlemen! In the king's +name, all of you!" + +With this hurried adjuration, he cocked his blunderbuss, and stood on +the offensive. + +The passenger booked by this history, was on the coach-step, getting in; +the two other passengers were close behind him, and about to follow. He +remained on the step, half in the coach and half out of; they remained +in the road below him. They all looked from the coachman to the guard, +and from the guard to the coachman, and listened. The coachman looked +back and the guard looked back, and even the emphatic leader pricked up +his ears and looked back, without contradicting. + +The stillness consequent on the cessation of the rumbling and labouring +of the coach, added to the stillness of the night, made it very quiet +indeed. The panting of the horses communicated a tremulous motion to +the coach, as if it were in a state of agitation. The hearts of the +passengers beat loud enough perhaps to be heard; but at any rate, the +quiet pause was audibly expressive of people out of breath, and holding +the breath, and having the pulses quickened by expectation. + +The sound of a horse at a gallop came fast and furiously up the hill. + +"So-ho!" the guard sang out, as loud as he could roar. "Yo there! Stand! +I shall fire!" + +The pace was suddenly checked, and, with much splashing and floundering, +a man's voice called from the mist, "Is that the Dover mail?" + +"Never you mind what it is!" the guard retorted. "What are you?" + +"_Is_ that the Dover mail?" + +"Why do you want to know?" + +"I want a passenger, if it is." + +"What passenger?" + +"Mr. Jarvis Lorry." + +Our booked passenger showed in a moment that it was his name. The guard, +the coachman, and the two other passengers eyed him distrustfully. + +"Keep where you are," the guard called to the voice in the mist, +"because, if I should make a mistake, it could never be set right in +your lifetime. Gentleman of the name of Lorry answer straight." + +"What is the matter?" asked the passenger, then, with mildly quavering +speech. "Who wants me? Is it Jerry?" + +("I don't like Jerry's voice, if it is Jerry," growled the guard to +himself. "He's hoarser than suits me, is Jerry.") + +"Yes, Mr. Lorry." + +"What is the matter?" + +"A despatch sent after you from over yonder. T. and Co." + +"I know this messenger, guard," said Mr. Lorry, getting down into the +road--assisted from behind more swiftly than politely by the other two +passengers, who immediately scrambled into the coach, shut the door, and +pulled up the window. "He may come close; there's nothing wrong." + +"I hope there ain't, but I can't make so 'Nation sure of that," said the +guard, in gruff soliloquy. "Hallo you!" + +"Well! And hallo you!" said Jerry, more hoarsely than before. + +"Come on at a footpace! d'ye mind me? And if you've got holsters to that +saddle o' yourn, don't let me see your hand go nigh 'em. For I'm a devil +at a quick mistake, and when I make one it takes the form of Lead. So +now let's look at you." + +The figures of a horse and rider came slowly through the eddying mist, +and came to the side of the mail, where the passenger stood. The rider +stooped, and, casting up his eyes at the guard, handed the passenger +a small folded paper. The rider's horse was blown, and both horse and +rider were covered with mud, from the hoofs of the horse to the hat of +the man. + +"Guard!" said the passenger, in a tone of quiet business confidence. + +The watchful guard, with his right hand at the stock of his raised +blunderbuss, his left at the barrel, and his eye on the horseman, +answered curtly, "Sir." + +"There is nothing to apprehend. I belong to Tellson's Bank. You must +know Tellson's Bank in London. I am going to Paris on business. A crown +to drink. I may read this?" + +"If so be as you're quick, sir." + +He opened it in the light of the coach-lamp on that side, and +read--first to himself and then aloud: "'Wait at Dover for Mam'selle.' +It's not long, you see, guard. Jerry, say that my answer was, RECALLED +TO LIFE." + +Jerry started in his saddle. "That's a Blazing strange answer, too," +said he, at his hoarsest. + +"Take that message back, and they will know that I received this, as +well as if I wrote. Make the best of your way. Good night." + +With those words the passenger opened the coach-door and got in; not at +all assisted by his fellow-passengers, who had expeditiously secreted +their watches and purses in their boots, and were now making a general +pretence of being asleep. With no more definite purpose than to escape +the hazard of originating any other kind of action. + +The coach lumbered on again, with heavier wreaths of mist closing round +it as it began the descent. The guard soon replaced his blunderbuss +in his arm-chest, and, having looked to the rest of its contents, and +having looked to the supplementary pistols that he wore in his belt, +looked to a smaller chest beneath his seat, in which there were a +few smith's tools, a couple of torches, and a tinder-box. For he was +furnished with that completeness that if the coach-lamps had been blown +and stormed out, which did occasionally happen, he had only to shut +himself up inside, keep the flint and steel sparks well off the straw, +and get a light with tolerable safety and ease (if he were lucky) in +five minutes. + +"Tom!" softly over the coach roof. + +"Hallo, Joe." + +"Did you hear the message?" + +"I did, Joe." + +"What did you make of it, Tom?" + +"Nothing at all, Joe." + +"That's a coincidence, too," the guard mused, "for I made the same of it +myself." + +Jerry, left alone in the mist and darkness, dismounted meanwhile, not +only to ease his spent horse, but to wipe the mud from his face, and +shake the wet out of his hat-brim, which might be capable of +holding about half a gallon. After standing with the bridle over his +heavily-splashed arm, until the wheels of the mail were no longer within +hearing and the night was quite still again, he turned to walk down the +hill. + +"After that there gallop from Temple Bar, old lady, I won't trust your +fore-legs till I get you on the level," said this hoarse messenger, +glancing at his mare. "'Recalled to life.' That's a Blazing strange +message. Much of that wouldn't do for you, Jerry! I say, Jerry! You'd +be in a Blazing bad way, if recalling to life was to come into fashion, +Jerry!" + + + + +III. The Night Shadows + + +A wonderful fact to reflect upon, that every human creature is +constituted to be that profound secret and mystery to every other. A +solemn consideration, when I enter a great city by night, that every +one of those darkly clustered houses encloses its own secret; that every +room in every one of them encloses its own secret; that every beating +heart in the hundreds of thousands of breasts there, is, in some of +its imaginings, a secret to the heart nearest it! Something of the +awfulness, even of Death itself, is referable to this. No more can I +turn the leaves of this dear book that I loved, and vainly hope in time +to read it all. No more can I look into the depths of this unfathomable +water, wherein, as momentary lights glanced into it, I have had glimpses +of buried treasure and other things submerged. It was appointed that the +book should shut with a spring, for ever and for ever, when I had read +but a page. It was appointed that the water should be locked in an +eternal frost, when the light was playing on its surface, and I stood +in ignorance on the shore. My friend is dead, my neighbour is dead, +my love, the darling of my soul, is dead; it is the inexorable +consolidation and perpetuation of the secret that was always in that +individuality, and which I shall carry in mine to my life's end. In +any of the burial-places of this city through which I pass, is there +a sleeper more inscrutable than its busy inhabitants are, in their +innermost personality, to me, or than I am to them? + +As to this, his natural and not to be alienated inheritance, the +messenger on horseback had exactly the same possessions as the King, the +first Minister of State, or the richest merchant in London. So with the +three passengers shut up in the narrow compass of one lumbering old mail +coach; they were mysteries to one another, as complete as if each had +been in his own coach and six, or his own coach and sixty, with the +breadth of a county between him and the next. + +The messenger rode back at an easy trot, stopping pretty often at +ale-houses by the way to drink, but evincing a tendency to keep his +own counsel, and to keep his hat cocked over his eyes. He had eyes that +assorted very well with that decoration, being of a surface black, with +no depth in the colour or form, and much too near together--as if they +were afraid of being found out in something, singly, if they kept too +far apart. They had a sinister expression, under an old cocked-hat like +a three-cornered spittoon, and over a great muffler for the chin and +throat, which descended nearly to the wearer's knees. When he stopped +for drink, he moved this muffler with his left hand, only while he +poured his liquor in with his right; as soon as that was done, he +muffled again. + +"No, Jerry, no!" said the messenger, harping on one theme as he rode. +"It wouldn't do for you, Jerry. Jerry, you honest tradesman, it wouldn't +suit _your_ line of business! Recalled--! Bust me if I don't think he'd +been a drinking!" + +His message perplexed his mind to that degree that he was fain, several +times, to take off his hat to scratch his head. Except on the crown, +which was raggedly bald, he had stiff, black hair, standing jaggedly all +over it, and growing down hill almost to his broad, blunt nose. It was +so like Smith's work, so much more like the top of a strongly spiked +wall than a head of hair, that the best of players at leap-frog might +have declined him, as the most dangerous man in the world to go over. + +While he trotted back with the message he was to deliver to the night +watchman in his box at the door of Tellson's Bank, by Temple Bar, who +was to deliver it to greater authorities within, the shadows of the +night took such shapes to him as arose out of the message, and took such +shapes to the mare as arose out of _her_ private topics of uneasiness. +They seemed to be numerous, for she shied at every shadow on the road. + +What time, the mail-coach lumbered, jolted, rattled, and bumped upon +its tedious way, with its three fellow-inscrutables inside. To whom, +likewise, the shadows of the night revealed themselves, in the forms +their dozing eyes and wandering thoughts suggested. + +Tellson's Bank had a run upon it in the mail. As the bank +passenger--with an arm drawn through the leathern strap, which did what +lay in it to keep him from pounding against the next passenger, +and driving him into his corner, whenever the coach got a special +jolt--nodded in his place, with half-shut eyes, the little +coach-windows, and the coach-lamp dimly gleaming through them, and the +bulky bundle of opposite passenger, became the bank, and did a great +stroke of business. The rattle of the harness was the chink of money, +and more drafts were honoured in five minutes than even Tellson's, with +all its foreign and home connection, ever paid in thrice the time. Then +the strong-rooms underground, at Tellson's, with such of their valuable +stores and secrets as were known to the passenger (and it was not a +little that he knew about them), opened before him, and he went in among +them with the great keys and the feebly-burning candle, and found them +safe, and strong, and sound, and still, just as he had last seen them. + +But, though the bank was almost always with him, and though the coach +(in a confused way, like the presence of pain under an opiate) was +always with him, there was another current of impression that never +ceased to run, all through the night. He was on his way to dig some one +out of a grave. + +Now, which of the multitude of faces that showed themselves before him +was the true face of the buried person, the shadows of the night did +not indicate; but they were all the faces of a man of five-and-forty by +years, and they differed principally in the passions they expressed, +and in the ghastliness of their worn and wasted state. Pride, contempt, +defiance, stubbornness, submission, lamentation, succeeded one another; +so did varieties of sunken cheek, cadaverous colour, emaciated hands +and figures. But the face was in the main one face, and every head was +prematurely white. A hundred times the dozing passenger inquired of this +spectre: + +"Buried how long?" + +The answer was always the same: "Almost eighteen years." + +"You had abandoned all hope of being dug out?" + +"Long ago." + +"You know that you are recalled to life?" + +"They tell me so." + +"I hope you care to live?" + +"I can't say." + +"Shall I show her to you? Will you come and see her?" + +The answers to this question were various and contradictory. Sometimes +the broken reply was, "Wait! It would kill me if I saw her too soon." +Sometimes, it was given in a tender rain of tears, and then it was, +"Take me to her." Sometimes it was staring and bewildered, and then it +was, "I don't know her. I don't understand." + +After such imaginary discourse, the passenger in his fancy would dig, +and dig, dig--now with a spade, now with a great key, now with his +hands--to dig this wretched creature out. Got out at last, with earth +hanging about his face and hair, he would suddenly fan away to dust. The +passenger would then start to himself, and lower the window, to get the +reality of mist and rain on his cheek. + +Yet even when his eyes were opened on the mist and rain, on the moving +patch of light from the lamps, and the hedge at the roadside retreating +by jerks, the night shadows outside the coach would fall into the train +of the night shadows within. The real Banking-house by Temple Bar, the +real business of the past day, the real strong rooms, the real express +sent after him, and the real message returned, would all be there. Out +of the midst of them, the ghostly face would rise, and he would accost +it again. + +"Buried how long?" + +"Almost eighteen years." + +"I hope you care to live?" + +"I can't say." + +Dig--dig--dig--until an impatient movement from one of the two +passengers would admonish him to pull up the window, draw his arm +securely through the leathern strap, and speculate upon the two +slumbering forms, until his mind lost its hold of them, and they again +slid away into the bank and the grave. + +"Buried how long?" + +"Almost eighteen years." + +"You had abandoned all hope of being dug out?" + +"Long ago." + +The words were still in his hearing as just spoken--distinctly in +his hearing as ever spoken words had been in his life--when the weary +passenger started to the consciousness of daylight, and found that the +shadows of the night were gone. + +He lowered the window, and looked out at the rising sun. There was a +ridge of ploughed land, with a plough upon it where it had been left +last night when the horses were unyoked; beyond, a quiet coppice-wood, +in which many leaves of burning red and golden yellow still remained +upon the trees. Though the earth was cold and wet, the sky was clear, +and the sun rose bright, placid, and beautiful. + +"Eighteen years!" said the passenger, looking at the sun. "Gracious +Creator of day! To be buried alive for eighteen years!" + + + + +IV. The Preparation + + +When the mail got successfully to Dover, in the course of the forenoon, +the head drawer at the Royal George Hotel opened the coach-door as his +custom was. He did it with some flourish of ceremony, for a mail journey +from London in winter was an achievement to congratulate an adventurous +traveller upon. + +By that time, there was only one adventurous traveller left be +congratulated: for the two others had been set down at their respective +roadside destinations. The mildewy inside of the coach, with its damp +and dirty straw, its disagreeable smell, and its obscurity, was rather +like a larger dog-kennel. Mr. Lorry, the passenger, shaking himself out +of it in chains of straw, a tangle of shaggy wrapper, flapping hat, and +muddy legs, was rather like a larger sort of dog. + +"There will be a packet to Calais, tomorrow, drawer?" + +"Yes, sir, if the weather holds and the wind sets tolerable fair. The +tide will serve pretty nicely at about two in the afternoon, sir. Bed, +sir?" + +"I shall not go to bed till night; but I want a bedroom, and a barber." + +"And then breakfast, sir? Yes, sir. That way, sir, if you please. +Show Concord! Gentleman's valise and hot water to Concord. Pull off +gentleman's boots in Concord. (You will find a fine sea-coal fire, sir.) +Fetch barber to Concord. Stir about there, now, for Concord!" + +The Concord bed-chamber being always assigned to a passenger by the +mail, and passengers by the mail being always heavily wrapped up from +head to foot, the room had the odd interest for the establishment of the +Royal George, that although but one kind of man was seen to go into it, +all kinds and varieties of men came out of it. Consequently, another +drawer, and two porters, and several maids and the landlady, were all +loitering by accident at various points of the road between the Concord +and the coffee-room, when a gentleman of sixty, formally dressed in a +brown suit of clothes, pretty well worn, but very well kept, with large +square cuffs and large flaps to the pockets, passed along on his way to +his breakfast. + +The coffee-room had no other occupant, that forenoon, than the gentleman +in brown. His breakfast-table was drawn before the fire, and as he sat, +with its light shining on him, waiting for the meal, he sat so still, +that he might have been sitting for his portrait. + +Very orderly and methodical he looked, with a hand on each knee, and a +loud watch ticking a sonorous sermon under his flapped waist-coat, +as though it pitted its gravity and longevity against the levity and +evanescence of the brisk fire. He had a good leg, and was a little vain +of it, for his brown stockings fitted sleek and close, and were of a +fine texture; his shoes and buckles, too, though plain, were trim. He +wore an odd little sleek crisp flaxen wig, setting very close to his +head: which wig, it is to be presumed, was made of hair, but which +looked far more as though it were spun from filaments of silk or glass. +His linen, though not of a fineness in accordance with his stockings, +was as white as the tops of the waves that broke upon the neighbouring +beach, or the specks of sail that glinted in the sunlight far at sea. A +face habitually suppressed and quieted, was still lighted up under the +quaint wig by a pair of moist bright eyes that it must have cost +their owner, in years gone by, some pains to drill to the composed and +reserved expression of Tellson's Bank. He had a healthy colour in his +cheeks, and his face, though lined, bore few traces of anxiety. +But, perhaps the confidential bachelor clerks in Tellson's Bank were +principally occupied with the cares of other people; and perhaps +second-hand cares, like second-hand clothes, come easily off and on. + +Completing his resemblance to a man who was sitting for his portrait, +Mr. Lorry dropped off to sleep. The arrival of his breakfast roused him, +and he said to the drawer, as he moved his chair to it: + +"I wish accommodation prepared for a young lady who may come here at any +time to-day. She may ask for Mr. Jarvis Lorry, or she may only ask for a +gentleman from Tellson's Bank. Please to let me know." + +"Yes, sir. Tellson's Bank in London, sir?" + +"Yes." + +"Yes, sir. We have oftentimes the honour to entertain your gentlemen in +their travelling backwards and forwards betwixt London and Paris, sir. A +vast deal of travelling, sir, in Tellson and Company's House." + +"Yes. We are quite a French House, as well as an English one." + +"Yes, sir. Not much in the habit of such travelling yourself, I think, +sir?" + +"Not of late years. It is fifteen years since we--since I--came last +from France." + +"Indeed, sir? That was before my time here, sir. Before our people's +time here, sir. The George was in other hands at that time, sir." + +"I believe so." + +"But I would hold a pretty wager, sir, that a House like Tellson and +Company was flourishing, a matter of fifty, not to speak of fifteen +years ago?" + +"You might treble that, and say a hundred and fifty, yet not be far from +the truth." + +"Indeed, sir!" + +Rounding his mouth and both his eyes, as he stepped backward from the +table, the waiter shifted his napkin from his right arm to his left, +dropped into a comfortable attitude, and stood surveying the guest while +he ate and drank, as from an observatory or watchtower. According to the +immemorial usage of waiters in all ages. + +When Mr. Lorry had finished his breakfast, he went out for a stroll on +the beach. The little narrow, crooked town of Dover hid itself away +from the beach, and ran its head into the chalk cliffs, like a marine +ostrich. The beach was a desert of heaps of sea and stones tumbling +wildly about, and the sea did what it liked, and what it liked was +destruction. It thundered at the town, and thundered at the cliffs, and +brought the coast down, madly. The air among the houses was of so strong +a piscatory flavour that one might have supposed sick fish went up to be +dipped in it, as sick people went down to be dipped in the sea. A little +fishing was done in the port, and a quantity of strolling about by +night, and looking seaward: particularly at those times when the tide +made, and was near flood. Small tradesmen, who did no business whatever, +sometimes unaccountably realised large fortunes, and it was remarkable +that nobody in the neighbourhood could endure a lamplighter. + +As the day declined into the afternoon, and the air, which had been +at intervals clear enough to allow the French coast to be seen, became +again charged with mist and vapour, Mr. Lorry's thoughts seemed to cloud +too. When it was dark, and he sat before the coffee-room fire, awaiting +his dinner as he had awaited his breakfast, his mind was busily digging, +digging, digging, in the live red coals. + +A bottle of good claret after dinner does a digger in the red coals no +harm, otherwise than as it has a tendency to throw him out of work. +Mr. Lorry had been idle a long time, and had just poured out his last +glassful of wine with as complete an appearance of satisfaction as is +ever to be found in an elderly gentleman of a fresh complexion who has +got to the end of a bottle, when a rattling of wheels came up the narrow +street, and rumbled into the inn-yard. + +He set down his glass untouched. "This is Mam'selle!" said he. + +In a very few minutes the waiter came in to announce that Miss Manette +had arrived from London, and would be happy to see the gentleman from +Tellson's. + +"So soon?" + +Miss Manette had taken some refreshment on the road, and required none +then, and was extremely anxious to see the gentleman from Tellson's +immediately, if it suited his pleasure and convenience. + +The gentleman from Tellson's had nothing left for it but to empty his +glass with an air of stolid desperation, settle his odd little flaxen +wig at the ears, and follow the waiter to Miss Manette's apartment. +It was a large, dark room, furnished in a funereal manner with black +horsehair, and loaded with heavy dark tables. These had been oiled and +oiled, until the two tall candles on the table in the middle of the room +were gloomily reflected on every leaf; as if _they_ were buried, in deep +graves of black mahogany, and no light to speak of could be expected +from them until they were dug out. + +The obscurity was so difficult to penetrate that Mr. Lorry, picking his +way over the well-worn Turkey carpet, supposed Miss Manette to be, for +the moment, in some adjacent room, until, having got past the two tall +candles, he saw standing to receive him by the table between them and +the fire, a young lady of not more than seventeen, in a riding-cloak, +and still holding her straw travelling-hat by its ribbon in her hand. As +his eyes rested on a short, slight, pretty figure, a quantity of golden +hair, a pair of blue eyes that met his own with an inquiring look, and +a forehead with a singular capacity (remembering how young and smooth +it was), of rifting and knitting itself into an expression that was +not quite one of perplexity, or wonder, or alarm, or merely of a bright +fixed attention, though it included all the four expressions--as his +eyes rested on these things, a sudden vivid likeness passed before him, +of a child whom he had held in his arms on the passage across that very +Channel, one cold time, when the hail drifted heavily and the sea ran +high. The likeness passed away, like a breath along the surface of +the gaunt pier-glass behind her, on the frame of which, a hospital +procession of negro cupids, several headless and all cripples, were +offering black baskets of Dead Sea fruit to black divinities of the +feminine gender--and he made his formal bow to Miss Manette. + +"Pray take a seat, sir." In a very clear and pleasant young voice; a +little foreign in its accent, but a very little indeed. + +"I kiss your hand, miss," said Mr. Lorry, with the manners of an earlier +date, as he made his formal bow again, and took his seat. + +"I received a letter from the Bank, sir, yesterday, informing me that +some intelligence--or discovery--" + +"The word is not material, miss; either word will do." + +"--respecting the small property of my poor father, whom I never saw--so +long dead--" + +Mr. Lorry moved in his chair, and cast a troubled look towards the +hospital procession of negro cupids. As if _they_ had any help for +anybody in their absurd baskets! + +"--rendered it necessary that I should go to Paris, there to communicate +with a gentleman of the Bank, so good as to be despatched to Paris for +the purpose." + +"Myself." + +"As I was prepared to hear, sir." + +She curtseyed to him (young ladies made curtseys in those days), with a +pretty desire to convey to him that she felt how much older and wiser he +was than she. He made her another bow. + +"I replied to the Bank, sir, that as it was considered necessary, by +those who know, and who are so kind as to advise me, that I should go to +France, and that as I am an orphan and have no friend who could go with +me, I should esteem it highly if I might be permitted to place myself, +during the journey, under that worthy gentleman's protection. The +gentleman had left London, but I think a messenger was sent after him to +beg the favour of his waiting for me here." + +"I was happy," said Mr. Lorry, "to be entrusted with the charge. I shall +be more happy to execute it." + +"Sir, I thank you indeed. I thank you very gratefully. It was told me +by the Bank that the gentleman would explain to me the details of the +business, and that I must prepare myself to find them of a surprising +nature. I have done my best to prepare myself, and I naturally have a +strong and eager interest to know what they are." + +"Naturally," said Mr. Lorry. "Yes--I--" + +After a pause, he added, again settling the crisp flaxen wig at the +ears, "It is very difficult to begin." + +He did not begin, but, in his indecision, met her glance. The young +forehead lifted itself into that singular expression--but it was pretty +and characteristic, besides being singular--and she raised her hand, +as if with an involuntary action she caught at, or stayed some passing +shadow. + +"Are you quite a stranger to me, sir?" + +"Am I not?" Mr. Lorry opened his hands, and extended them outwards with +an argumentative smile. + +Between the eyebrows and just over the little feminine nose, the line of +which was as delicate and fine as it was possible to be, the expression +deepened itself as she took her seat thoughtfully in the chair by which +she had hitherto remained standing. He watched her as she mused, and the +moment she raised her eyes again, went on: + +"In your adopted country, I presume, I cannot do better than address you +as a young English lady, Miss Manette?" + +"If you please, sir." + +"Miss Manette, I am a man of business. I have a business charge to +acquit myself of. In your reception of it, don't heed me any more than +if I was a speaking machine--truly, I am not much else. I will, with +your leave, relate to you, miss, the story of one of our customers." + +"Story!" + +He seemed wilfully to mistake the word she had repeated, when he added, +in a hurry, "Yes, customers; in the banking business we usually call +our connection our customers. He was a French gentleman; a scientific +gentleman; a man of great acquirements--a Doctor." + +"Not of Beauvais?" + +"Why, yes, of Beauvais. Like Monsieur Manette, your father, the +gentleman was of Beauvais. Like Monsieur Manette, your father, the +gentleman was of repute in Paris. I had the honour of knowing him there. +Our relations were business relations, but confidential. I was at that +time in our French House, and had been--oh! twenty years." + +"At that time--I may ask, at what time, sir?" + +"I speak, miss, of twenty years ago. He married--an English lady--and +I was one of the trustees. His affairs, like the affairs of many other +French gentlemen and French families, were entirely in Tellson's hands. +In a similar way I am, or I have been, trustee of one kind or other for +scores of our customers. These are mere business relations, miss; +there is no friendship in them, no particular interest, nothing like +sentiment. I have passed from one to another, in the course of my +business life, just as I pass from one of our customers to another in +the course of my business day; in short, I have no feelings; I am a mere +machine. To go on--" + +"But this is my father's story, sir; and I begin to think"--the +curiously roughened forehead was very intent upon him--"that when I was +left an orphan through my mother's surviving my father only two years, +it was you who brought me to England. I am almost sure it was you." + +Mr. Lorry took the hesitating little hand that confidingly advanced +to take his, and he put it with some ceremony to his lips. He then +conducted the young lady straightway to her chair again, and, holding +the chair-back with his left hand, and using his right by turns to rub +his chin, pull his wig at the ears, or point what he said, stood looking +down into her face while she sat looking up into his. + +"Miss Manette, it _was_ I. And you will see how truly I spoke of myself +just now, in saying I had no feelings, and that all the relations I hold +with my fellow-creatures are mere business relations, when you reflect +that I have never seen you since. No; you have been the ward of +Tellson's House since, and I have been busy with the other business of +Tellson's House since. Feelings! I have no time for them, no chance +of them. I pass my whole life, miss, in turning an immense pecuniary +Mangle." + +After this odd description of his daily routine of employment, Mr. Lorry +flattened his flaxen wig upon his head with both hands (which was most +unnecessary, for nothing could be flatter than its shining surface was +before), and resumed his former attitude. + +"So far, miss (as you have remarked), this is the story of your +regretted father. Now comes the difference. If your father had not died +when he did--Don't be frightened! How you start!" + +She did, indeed, start. And she caught his wrist with both her hands. + +"Pray," said Mr. Lorry, in a soothing tone, bringing his left hand from +the back of the chair to lay it on the supplicatory fingers that clasped +him in so violent a tremble: "pray control your agitation--a matter of +business. As I was saying--" + +Her look so discomposed him that he stopped, wandered, and began anew: + +"As I was saying; if Monsieur Manette had not died; if he had suddenly +and silently disappeared; if he had been spirited away; if it had not +been difficult to guess to what dreadful place, though no art could +trace him; if he had an enemy in some compatriot who could exercise a +privilege that I in my own time have known the boldest people afraid +to speak of in a whisper, across the water there; for instance, the +privilege of filling up blank forms for the consignment of any one +to the oblivion of a prison for any length of time; if his wife had +implored the king, the queen, the court, the clergy, for any tidings of +him, and all quite in vain;--then the history of your father would have +been the history of this unfortunate gentleman, the Doctor of Beauvais." + +"I entreat you to tell me more, sir." + +"I will. I am going to. You can bear it?" + +"I can bear anything but the uncertainty you leave me in at this +moment." + +"You speak collectedly, and you--_are_ collected. That's good!" (Though +his manner was less satisfied than his words.) "A matter of business. +Regard it as a matter of business--business that must be done. Now +if this doctor's wife, though a lady of great courage and spirit, +had suffered so intensely from this cause before her little child was +born--" + +"The little child was a daughter, sir." + +"A daughter. A-a-matter of business--don't be distressed. Miss, if the +poor lady had suffered so intensely before her little child was born, +that she came to the determination of sparing the poor child the +inheritance of any part of the agony she had known the pains of, by +rearing her in the belief that her father was dead--No, don't kneel! In +Heaven's name why should you kneel to me!" + +"For the truth. O dear, good, compassionate sir, for the truth!" + +"A--a matter of business. You confuse me, and how can I transact +business if I am confused? Let us be clear-headed. If you could kindly +mention now, for instance, what nine times ninepence are, or how many +shillings in twenty guineas, it would be so encouraging. I should be so +much more at my ease about your state of mind." + +Without directly answering to this appeal, she sat so still when he had +very gently raised her, and the hands that had not ceased to clasp +his wrists were so much more steady than they had been, that she +communicated some reassurance to Mr. Jarvis Lorry. + +"That's right, that's right. Courage! Business! You have business before +you; useful business. Miss Manette, your mother took this course with +you. And when she died--I believe broken-hearted--having never slackened +her unavailing search for your father, she left you, at two years old, +to grow to be blooming, beautiful, and happy, without the dark cloud +upon you of living in uncertainty whether your father soon wore his +heart out in prison, or wasted there through many lingering years." + +As he said the words he looked down, with an admiring pity, on the +flowing golden hair; as if he pictured to himself that it might have +been already tinged with grey. + +"You know that your parents had no great possession, and that what +they had was secured to your mother and to you. There has been no new +discovery, of money, or of any other property; but--" + +He felt his wrist held closer, and he stopped. The expression in the +forehead, which had so particularly attracted his notice, and which was +now immovable, had deepened into one of pain and horror. + +"But he has been--been found. He is alive. Greatly changed, it is too +probable; almost a wreck, it is possible; though we will hope the best. +Still, alive. Your father has been taken to the house of an old servant +in Paris, and we are going there: I, to identify him if I can: you, to +restore him to life, love, duty, rest, comfort." + +A shiver ran through her frame, and from it through his. She said, in a +low, distinct, awe-stricken voice, as if she were saying it in a dream, + +"I am going to see his Ghost! It will be his Ghost--not him!" + +Mr. Lorry quietly chafed the hands that held his arm. "There, there, +there! See now, see now! The best and the worst are known to you, now. +You are well on your way to the poor wronged gentleman, and, with a fair +sea voyage, and a fair land journey, you will be soon at his dear side." + +She repeated in the same tone, sunk to a whisper, "I have been free, I +have been happy, yet his Ghost has never haunted me!" + +"Only one thing more," said Mr. Lorry, laying stress upon it as a +wholesome means of enforcing her attention: "he has been found under +another name; his own, long forgotten or long concealed. It would be +worse than useless now to inquire which; worse than useless to seek to +know whether he has been for years overlooked, or always designedly +held prisoner. It would be worse than useless now to make any inquiries, +because it would be dangerous. Better not to mention the subject, +anywhere or in any way, and to remove him--for a while at all +events--out of France. Even I, safe as an Englishman, and even +Tellson's, important as they are to French credit, avoid all naming of +the matter. I carry about me, not a scrap of writing openly referring +to it. This is a secret service altogether. My credentials, entries, +and memoranda, are all comprehended in the one line, 'Recalled to Life;' +which may mean anything. But what is the matter! She doesn't notice a +word! Miss Manette!" + +Perfectly still and silent, and not even fallen back in her chair, she +sat under his hand, utterly insensible; with her eyes open and fixed +upon him, and with that last expression looking as if it were carved or +branded into her forehead. So close was her hold upon his arm, that he +feared to detach himself lest he should hurt her; therefore he called +out loudly for assistance without moving. + +A wild-looking woman, whom even in his agitation, Mr. Lorry observed to +be all of a red colour, and to have red hair, and to be dressed in some +extraordinary tight-fitting fashion, and to have on her head a most +wonderful bonnet like a Grenadier wooden measure, and good measure too, +or a great Stilton cheese, came running into the room in advance of the +inn servants, and soon settled the question of his detachment from the +poor young lady, by laying a brawny hand upon his chest, and sending him +flying back against the nearest wall. + +("I really think this must be a man!" was Mr. Lorry's breathless +reflection, simultaneously with his coming against the wall.) + +"Why, look at you all!" bawled this figure, addressing the inn servants. +"Why don't you go and fetch things, instead of standing there staring +at me? I am not so much to look at, am I? Why don't you go and fetch +things? I'll let you know, if you don't bring smelling-salts, cold +water, and vinegar, quick, I will." + +There was an immediate dispersal for these restoratives, and she +softly laid the patient on a sofa, and tended her with great skill and +gentleness: calling her "my precious!" and "my bird!" and spreading her +golden hair aside over her shoulders with great pride and care. + +"And you in brown!" she said, indignantly turning to Mr. Lorry; +"couldn't you tell her what you had to tell her, without frightening her +to death? Look at her, with her pretty pale face and her cold hands. Do +you call _that_ being a Banker?" + +Mr. Lorry was so exceedingly disconcerted by a question so hard to +answer, that he could only look on, at a distance, with much feebler +sympathy and humility, while the strong woman, having banished the inn +servants under the mysterious penalty of "letting them know" something +not mentioned if they stayed there, staring, recovered her charge by a +regular series of gradations, and coaxed her to lay her drooping head +upon her shoulder. + +"I hope she will do well now," said Mr. Lorry. + +"No thanks to you in brown, if she does. My darling pretty!" + +"I hope," said Mr. Lorry, after another pause of feeble sympathy and +humility, "that you accompany Miss Manette to France?" + +"A likely thing, too!" replied the strong woman. "If it was ever +intended that I should go across salt water, do you suppose Providence +would have cast my lot in an island?" + +This being another question hard to answer, Mr. Jarvis Lorry withdrew to +consider it. + + + + +V. The Wine-shop + + +A large cask of wine had been dropped and broken, in the street. The +accident had happened in getting it out of a cart; the cask had tumbled +out with a run, the hoops had burst, and it lay on the stones just +outside the door of the wine-shop, shattered like a walnut-shell. + +All the people within reach had suspended their business, or their +idleness, to run to the spot and drink the wine. The rough, irregular +stones of the street, pointing every way, and designed, one might have +thought, expressly to lame all living creatures that approached them, +had dammed it into little pools; these were surrounded, each by its own +jostling group or crowd, according to its size. Some men kneeled down, +made scoops of their two hands joined, and sipped, or tried to help +women, who bent over their shoulders, to sip, before the wine had all +run out between their fingers. Others, men and women, dipped in +the puddles with little mugs of mutilated earthenware, or even with +handkerchiefs from women's heads, which were squeezed dry into infants' +mouths; others made small mud-embankments, to stem the wine as it ran; +others, directed by lookers-on up at high windows, darted here and +there, to cut off little streams of wine that started away in new +directions; others devoted themselves to the sodden and lee-dyed +pieces of the cask, licking, and even champing the moister wine-rotted +fragments with eager relish. There was no drainage to carry off the +wine, and not only did it all get taken up, but so much mud got taken up +along with it, that there might have been a scavenger in the street, +if anybody acquainted with it could have believed in such a miraculous +presence. + +A shrill sound of laughter and of amused voices--voices of men, women, +and children--resounded in the street while this wine game lasted. There +was little roughness in the sport, and much playfulness. There was a +special companionship in it, an observable inclination on the part +of every one to join some other one, which led, especially among the +luckier or lighter-hearted, to frolicsome embraces, drinking of healths, +shaking of hands, and even joining of hands and dancing, a dozen +together. When the wine was gone, and the places where it had been +most abundant were raked into a gridiron-pattern by fingers, these +demonstrations ceased, as suddenly as they had broken out. The man who +had left his saw sticking in the firewood he was cutting, set it in +motion again; the women who had left on a door-step the little pot of +hot ashes, at which she had been trying to soften the pain in her own +starved fingers and toes, or in those of her child, returned to it; men +with bare arms, matted locks, and cadaverous faces, who had emerged into +the winter light from cellars, moved away, to descend again; and a gloom +gathered on the scene that appeared more natural to it than sunshine. + +The wine was red wine, and had stained the ground of the narrow street +in the suburb of Saint Antoine, in Paris, where it was spilled. It had +stained many hands, too, and many faces, and many naked feet, and many +wooden shoes. The hands of the man who sawed the wood, left red marks +on the billets; and the forehead of the woman who nursed her baby, was +stained with the stain of the old rag she wound about her head again. +Those who had been greedy with the staves of the cask, had acquired a +tigerish smear about the mouth; and one tall joker so besmirched, his +head more out of a long squalid bag of a nightcap than in it, scrawled +upon a wall with his finger dipped in muddy wine-lees--BLOOD. + +The time was to come, when that wine too would be spilled on the +street-stones, and when the stain of it would be red upon many there. + +And now that the cloud settled on Saint Antoine, which a momentary +gleam had driven from his sacred countenance, the darkness of it was +heavy--cold, dirt, sickness, ignorance, and want, were the lords in +waiting on the saintly presence--nobles of great power all of them; +but, most especially the last. Samples of a people that had undergone a +terrible grinding and regrinding in the mill, and certainly not in the +fabulous mill which ground old people young, shivered at every corner, +passed in and out at every doorway, looked from every window, fluttered +in every vestige of a garment that the wind shook. The mill which +had worked them down, was the mill that grinds young people old; the +children had ancient faces and grave voices; and upon them, and upon the +grown faces, and ploughed into every furrow of age and coming up afresh, +was the sigh, Hunger. It was prevalent everywhere. Hunger was pushed out +of the tall houses, in the wretched clothing that hung upon poles and +lines; Hunger was patched into them with straw and rag and wood and +paper; Hunger was repeated in every fragment of the small modicum of +firewood that the man sawed off; Hunger stared down from the smokeless +chimneys, and started up from the filthy street that had no offal, +among its refuse, of anything to eat. Hunger was the inscription on the +baker's shelves, written in every small loaf of his scanty stock of +bad bread; at the sausage-shop, in every dead-dog preparation that +was offered for sale. Hunger rattled its dry bones among the roasting +chestnuts in the turned cylinder; Hunger was shred into atomics in every +farthing porringer of husky chips of potato, fried with some reluctant +drops of oil. + +Its abiding place was in all things fitted to it. A narrow winding +street, full of offence and stench, with other narrow winding streets +diverging, all peopled by rags and nightcaps, and all smelling of rags +and nightcaps, and all visible things with a brooding look upon them +that looked ill. In the hunted air of the people there was yet some +wild-beast thought of the possibility of turning at bay. Depressed and +slinking though they were, eyes of fire were not wanting among them; nor +compressed lips, white with what they suppressed; nor foreheads knitted +into the likeness of the gallows-rope they mused about enduring, or +inflicting. The trade signs (and they were almost as many as the shops) +were, all, grim illustrations of Want. The butcher and the porkman +painted up, only the leanest scrags of meat; the baker, the coarsest of +meagre loaves. The people rudely pictured as drinking in the wine-shops, +croaked over their scanty measures of thin wine and beer, and were +gloweringly confidential together. Nothing was represented in a +flourishing condition, save tools and weapons; but, the cutler's knives +and axes were sharp and bright, the smith's hammers were heavy, and the +gunmaker's stock was murderous. The crippling stones of the pavement, +with their many little reservoirs of mud and water, had no footways, but +broke off abruptly at the doors. The kennel, to make amends, ran down +the middle of the street--when it ran at all: which was only after heavy +rains, and then it ran, by many eccentric fits, into the houses. Across +the streets, at wide intervals, one clumsy lamp was slung by a rope and +pulley; at night, when the lamplighter had let these down, and lighted, +and hoisted them again, a feeble grove of dim wicks swung in a sickly +manner overhead, as if they were at sea. Indeed they were at sea, and +the ship and crew were in peril of tempest. + +For, the time was to come, when the gaunt scarecrows of that region +should have watched the lamplighter, in their idleness and hunger, so +long, as to conceive the idea of improving on his method, and hauling +up men by those ropes and pulleys, to flare upon the darkness of their +condition. But, the time was not come yet; and every wind that blew over +France shook the rags of the scarecrows in vain, for the birds, fine of +song and feather, took no warning. + +The wine-shop was a corner shop, better than most others in its +appearance and degree, and the master of the wine-shop had stood outside +it, in a yellow waistcoat and green breeches, looking on at the struggle +for the lost wine. "It's not my affair," said he, with a final shrug +of the shoulders. "The people from the market did it. Let them bring +another." + +There, his eyes happening to catch the tall joker writing up his joke, +he called to him across the way: + +"Say, then, my Gaspard, what do you do there?" + +The fellow pointed to his joke with immense significance, as is often +the way with his tribe. It missed its mark, and completely failed, as is +often the way with his tribe too. + +"What now? Are you a subject for the mad hospital?" said the wine-shop +keeper, crossing the road, and obliterating the jest with a handful of +mud, picked up for the purpose, and smeared over it. "Why do you write +in the public streets? Is there--tell me thou--is there no other place +to write such words in?" + +In his expostulation he dropped his cleaner hand (perhaps accidentally, +perhaps not) upon the joker's heart. The joker rapped it with his +own, took a nimble spring upward, and came down in a fantastic dancing +attitude, with one of his stained shoes jerked off his foot into his +hand, and held out. A joker of an extremely, not to say wolfishly +practical character, he looked, under those circumstances. + +"Put it on, put it on," said the other. "Call wine, wine; and finish +there." With that advice, he wiped his soiled hand upon the joker's +dress, such as it was--quite deliberately, as having dirtied the hand on +his account; and then recrossed the road and entered the wine-shop. + +This wine-shop keeper was a bull-necked, martial-looking man of thirty, +and he should have been of a hot temperament, for, although it was a +bitter day, he wore no coat, but carried one slung over his shoulder. +His shirt-sleeves were rolled up, too, and his brown arms were bare to +the elbows. Neither did he wear anything more on his head than his own +crisply-curling short dark hair. He was a dark man altogether, with good +eyes and a good bold breadth between them. Good-humoured looking on +the whole, but implacable-looking, too; evidently a man of a strong +resolution and a set purpose; a man not desirable to be met, rushing +down a narrow pass with a gulf on either side, for nothing would turn +the man. + +Madame Defarge, his wife, sat in the shop behind the counter as he +came in. Madame Defarge was a stout woman of about his own age, with +a watchful eye that seldom seemed to look at anything, a large hand +heavily ringed, a steady face, strong features, and great composure of +manner. There was a character about Madame Defarge, from which one might +have predicated that she did not often make mistakes against herself +in any of the reckonings over which she presided. Madame Defarge being +sensitive to cold, was wrapped in fur, and had a quantity of bright +shawl twined about her head, though not to the concealment of her large +earrings. Her knitting was before her, but she had laid it down to pick +her teeth with a toothpick. Thus engaged, with her right elbow supported +by her left hand, Madame Defarge said nothing when her lord came in, but +coughed just one grain of cough. This, in combination with the lifting +of her darkly defined eyebrows over her toothpick by the breadth of a +line, suggested to her husband that he would do well to look round the +shop among the customers, for any new customer who had dropped in while +he stepped over the way. + +The wine-shop keeper accordingly rolled his eyes about, until they +rested upon an elderly gentleman and a young lady, who were seated in +a corner. Other company were there: two playing cards, two playing +dominoes, three standing by the counter lengthening out a short supply +of wine. As he passed behind the counter, he took notice that the +elderly gentleman said in a look to the young lady, "This is our man." + +"What the devil do _you_ do in that galley there?" said Monsieur Defarge +to himself; "I don't know you." + +But, he feigned not to notice the two strangers, and fell into discourse +with the triumvirate of customers who were drinking at the counter. + +"How goes it, Jacques?" said one of these three to Monsieur Defarge. "Is +all the spilt wine swallowed?" + +"Every drop, Jacques," answered Monsieur Defarge. + +When this interchange of Christian name was effected, Madame Defarge, +picking her teeth with her toothpick, coughed another grain of cough, +and raised her eyebrows by the breadth of another line. + +"It is not often," said the second of the three, addressing Monsieur +Defarge, "that many of these miserable beasts know the taste of wine, or +of anything but black bread and death. Is it not so, Jacques?" + +"It is so, Jacques," Monsieur Defarge returned. + +At this second interchange of the Christian name, Madame Defarge, still +using her toothpick with profound composure, coughed another grain of +cough, and raised her eyebrows by the breadth of another line. + +The last of the three now said his say, as he put down his empty +drinking vessel and smacked his lips. + +"Ah! So much the worse! A bitter taste it is that such poor cattle +always have in their mouths, and hard lives they live, Jacques. Am I +right, Jacques?" + +"You are right, Jacques," was the response of Monsieur Defarge. + +This third interchange of the Christian name was completed at the moment +when Madame Defarge put her toothpick by, kept her eyebrows up, and +slightly rustled in her seat. + +"Hold then! True!" muttered her husband. "Gentlemen--my wife!" + +The three customers pulled off their hats to Madame Defarge, with three +flourishes. She acknowledged their homage by bending her head, and +giving them a quick look. Then she glanced in a casual manner round the +wine-shop, took up her knitting with great apparent calmness and repose +of spirit, and became absorbed in it. + +"Gentlemen," said her husband, who had kept his bright eye observantly +upon her, "good day. The chamber, furnished bachelor-fashion, that you +wished to see, and were inquiring for when I stepped out, is on the +fifth floor. The doorway of the staircase gives on the little courtyard +close to the left here," pointing with his hand, "near to the window of +my establishment. But, now that I remember, one of you has already been +there, and can show the way. Gentlemen, adieu!" + +They paid for their wine, and left the place. The eyes of Monsieur +Defarge were studying his wife at her knitting when the elderly +gentleman advanced from his corner, and begged the favour of a word. + +"Willingly, sir," said Monsieur Defarge, and quietly stepped with him to +the door. + +Their conference was very short, but very decided. Almost at the first +word, Monsieur Defarge started and became deeply attentive. It had +not lasted a minute, when he nodded and went out. The gentleman then +beckoned to the young lady, and they, too, went out. Madame Defarge +knitted with nimble fingers and steady eyebrows, and saw nothing. + +Mr. Jarvis Lorry and Miss Manette, emerging from the wine-shop thus, +joined Monsieur Defarge in the doorway to which he had directed his own +company just before. It opened from a stinking little black courtyard, +and was the general public entrance to a great pile of houses, inhabited +by a great number of people. In the gloomy tile-paved entry to the +gloomy tile-paved staircase, Monsieur Defarge bent down on one knee +to the child of his old master, and put her hand to his lips. It was +a gentle action, but not at all gently done; a very remarkable +transformation had come over him in a few seconds. He had no good-humour +in his face, nor any openness of aspect left, but had become a secret, +angry, dangerous man. + +"It is very high; it is a little difficult. Better to begin slowly." +Thus, Monsieur Defarge, in a stern voice, to Mr. Lorry, as they began +ascending the stairs. + +"Is he alone?" the latter whispered. + +"Alone! God help him, who should be with him!" said the other, in the +same low voice. + +"Is he always alone, then?" + +"Yes." + +"Of his own desire?" + +"Of his own necessity. As he was, when I first saw him after they +found me and demanded to know if I would take him, and, at my peril be +discreet--as he was then, so he is now." + +"He is greatly changed?" + +"Changed!" + +The keeper of the wine-shop stopped to strike the wall with his hand, +and mutter a tremendous curse. No direct answer could have been half so +forcible. Mr. Lorry's spirits grew heavier and heavier, as he and his +two companions ascended higher and higher. + +Such a staircase, with its accessories, in the older and more crowded +parts of Paris, would be bad enough now; but, at that time, it was vile +indeed to unaccustomed and unhardened senses. Every little habitation +within the great foul nest of one high building--that is to say, +the room or rooms within every door that opened on the general +staircase--left its own heap of refuse on its own landing, besides +flinging other refuse from its own windows. The uncontrollable and +hopeless mass of decomposition so engendered, would have polluted +the air, even if poverty and deprivation had not loaded it with their +intangible impurities; the two bad sources combined made it almost +insupportable. Through such an atmosphere, by a steep dark shaft of dirt +and poison, the way lay. Yielding to his own disturbance of mind, and to +his young companion's agitation, which became greater every instant, Mr. +Jarvis Lorry twice stopped to rest. Each of these stoppages was made +at a doleful grating, by which any languishing good airs that were left +uncorrupted, seemed to escape, and all spoilt and sickly vapours seemed +to crawl in. Through the rusted bars, tastes, rather than glimpses, were +caught of the jumbled neighbourhood; and nothing within range, nearer +or lower than the summits of the two great towers of Notre-Dame, had any +promise on it of healthy life or wholesome aspirations. + +At last, the top of the staircase was gained, and they stopped for the +third time. There was yet an upper staircase, of a steeper inclination +and of contracted dimensions, to be ascended, before the garret story +was reached. The keeper of the wine-shop, always going a little in +advance, and always going on the side which Mr. Lorry took, as though he +dreaded to be asked any question by the young lady, turned himself about +here, and, carefully feeling in the pockets of the coat he carried over +his shoulder, took out a key. + +"The door is locked then, my friend?" said Mr. Lorry, surprised. + +"Ay. Yes," was the grim reply of Monsieur Defarge. + +"You think it necessary to keep the unfortunate gentleman so retired?" + +"I think it necessary to turn the key." Monsieur Defarge whispered it +closer in his ear, and frowned heavily. + +"Why?" + +"Why! Because he has lived so long, locked up, that he would be +frightened--rave--tear himself to pieces--die--come to I know not what +harm--if his door was left open." + +"Is it possible!" exclaimed Mr. Lorry. + +"Is it possible!" repeated Defarge, bitterly. "Yes. And a beautiful +world we live in, when it _is_ possible, and when many other such things +are possible, and not only possible, but done--done, see you!--under +that sky there, every day. Long live the Devil. Let us go on." + +This dialogue had been held in so very low a whisper, that not a word +of it had reached the young lady's ears. But, by this time she trembled +under such strong emotion, and her face expressed such deep anxiety, +and, above all, such dread and terror, that Mr. Lorry felt it incumbent +on him to speak a word or two of reassurance. + +"Courage, dear miss! Courage! Business! The worst will be over in a +moment; it is but passing the room-door, and the worst is over. Then, +all the good you bring to him, all the relief, all the happiness you +bring to him, begin. Let our good friend here, assist you on that side. +That's well, friend Defarge. Come, now. Business, business!" + +They went up slowly and softly. The staircase was short, and they were +soon at the top. There, as it had an abrupt turn in it, they came all at +once in sight of three men, whose heads were bent down close together at +the side of a door, and who were intently looking into the room to which +the door belonged, through some chinks or holes in the wall. On hearing +footsteps close at hand, these three turned, and rose, and showed +themselves to be the three of one name who had been drinking in the +wine-shop. + +"I forgot them in the surprise of your visit," explained Monsieur +Defarge. "Leave us, good boys; we have business here." + +The three glided by, and went silently down. + +There appearing to be no other door on that floor, and the keeper of +the wine-shop going straight to this one when they were left alone, Mr. +Lorry asked him in a whisper, with a little anger: + +"Do you make a show of Monsieur Manette?" + +"I show him, in the way you have seen, to a chosen few." + +"Is that well?" + +"_I_ think it is well." + +"Who are the few? How do you choose them?" + +"I choose them as real men, of my name--Jacques is my name--to whom the +sight is likely to do good. Enough; you are English; that is another +thing. Stay there, if you please, a little moment." + +With an admonitory gesture to keep them back, he stooped, and looked in +through the crevice in the wall. Soon raising his head again, he struck +twice or thrice upon the door--evidently with no other object than to +make a noise there. With the same intention, he drew the key across it, +three or four times, before he put it clumsily into the lock, and turned +it as heavily as he could. + +The door slowly opened inward under his hand, and he looked into the +room and said something. A faint voice answered something. Little more +than a single syllable could have been spoken on either side. + +He looked back over his shoulder, and beckoned them to enter. Mr. Lorry +got his arm securely round the daughter's waist, and held her; for he +felt that she was sinking. + +"A-a-a-business, business!" he urged, with a moisture that was not of +business shining on his cheek. "Come in, come in!" + +"I am afraid of it," she answered, shuddering. + +"Of it? What?" + +"I mean of him. Of my father." + +Rendered in a manner desperate, by her state and by the beckoning of +their conductor, he drew over his neck the arm that shook upon his +shoulder, lifted her a little, and hurried her into the room. He sat her +down just within the door, and held her, clinging to him. + +Defarge drew out the key, closed the door, locked it on the inside, +took out the key again, and held it in his hand. All this he did, +methodically, and with as loud and harsh an accompaniment of noise as he +could make. Finally, he walked across the room with a measured tread to +where the window was. He stopped there, and faced round. + +The garret, built to be a depository for firewood and the like, was dim +and dark: for, the window of dormer shape, was in truth a door in the +roof, with a little crane over it for the hoisting up of stores from +the street: unglazed, and closing up the middle in two pieces, like any +other door of French construction. To exclude the cold, one half of this +door was fast closed, and the other was opened but a very little way. +Such a scanty portion of light was admitted through these means, that it +was difficult, on first coming in, to see anything; and long habit +alone could have slowly formed in any one, the ability to do any work +requiring nicety in such obscurity. Yet, work of that kind was being +done in the garret; for, with his back towards the door, and his face +towards the window where the keeper of the wine-shop stood looking at +him, a white-haired man sat on a low bench, stooping forward and very +busy, making shoes. + + + + +VI. The Shoemaker + + +"Good day!" said Monsieur Defarge, looking down at the white head that +bent low over the shoemaking. + +It was raised for a moment, and a very faint voice responded to the +salutation, as if it were at a distance: + +"Good day!" + +"You are still hard at work, I see?" + +After a long silence, the head was lifted for another moment, and the +voice replied, "Yes--I am working." This time, a pair of haggard eyes +had looked at the questioner, before the face had dropped again. + +The faintness of the voice was pitiable and dreadful. It was not the +faintness of physical weakness, though confinement and hard fare no +doubt had their part in it. Its deplorable peculiarity was, that it was +the faintness of solitude and disuse. It was like the last feeble echo +of a sound made long and long ago. So entirely had it lost the life and +resonance of the human voice, that it affected the senses like a once +beautiful colour faded away into a poor weak stain. So sunken and +suppressed it was, that it was like a voice underground. So expressive +it was, of a hopeless and lost creature, that a famished traveller, +wearied out by lonely wandering in a wilderness, would have remembered +home and friends in such a tone before lying down to die. + +Some minutes of silent work had passed: and the haggard eyes had looked +up again: not with any interest or curiosity, but with a dull mechanical +perception, beforehand, that the spot where the only visitor they were +aware of had stood, was not yet empty. + +"I want," said Defarge, who had not removed his gaze from the shoemaker, +"to let in a little more light here. You can bear a little more?" + +The shoemaker stopped his work; looked with a vacant air of listening, +at the floor on one side of him; then similarly, at the floor on the +other side of him; then, upward at the speaker. + +"What did you say?" + +"You can bear a little more light?" + +"I must bear it, if you let it in." (Laying the palest shadow of a +stress upon the second word.) + +The opened half-door was opened a little further, and secured at that +angle for the time. A broad ray of light fell into the garret, and +showed the workman with an unfinished shoe upon his lap, pausing in his +labour. His few common tools and various scraps of leather were at his +feet and on his bench. He had a white beard, raggedly cut, but not very +long, a hollow face, and exceedingly bright eyes. The hollowness and +thinness of his face would have caused them to look large, under his yet +dark eyebrows and his confused white hair, though they had been really +otherwise; but, they were naturally large, and looked unnaturally so. +His yellow rags of shirt lay open at the throat, and showed his body +to be withered and worn. He, and his old canvas frock, and his loose +stockings, and all his poor tatters of clothes, had, in a long seclusion +from direct light and air, faded down to such a dull uniformity of +parchment-yellow, that it would have been hard to say which was which. + +He had put up a hand between his eyes and the light, and the very bones +of it seemed transparent. So he sat, with a steadfastly vacant gaze, +pausing in his work. He never looked at the figure before him, without +first looking down on this side of himself, then on that, as if he had +lost the habit of associating place with sound; he never spoke, without +first wandering in this manner, and forgetting to speak. + +"Are you going to finish that pair of shoes to-day?" asked Defarge, +motioning to Mr. Lorry to come forward. + +"What did you say?" + +"Do you mean to finish that pair of shoes to-day?" + +"I can't say that I mean to. I suppose so. I don't know." + +But, the question reminded him of his work, and he bent over it again. + +Mr. Lorry came silently forward, leaving the daughter by the door. When +he had stood, for a minute or two, by the side of Defarge, the shoemaker +looked up. He showed no surprise at seeing another figure, but the +unsteady fingers of one of his hands strayed to his lips as he looked at +it (his lips and his nails were of the same pale lead-colour), and then +the hand dropped to his work, and he once more bent over the shoe. The +look and the action had occupied but an instant. + +"You have a visitor, you see," said Monsieur Defarge. + +"What did you say?" + +"Here is a visitor." + +The shoemaker looked up as before, but without removing a hand from his +work. + +"Come!" said Defarge. "Here is monsieur, who knows a well-made shoe when +he sees one. Show him that shoe you are working at. Take it, monsieur." + +Mr. Lorry took it in his hand. + +"Tell monsieur what kind of shoe it is, and the maker's name." + +There was a longer pause than usual, before the shoemaker replied: + +"I forget what it was you asked me. What did you say?" + +"I said, couldn't you describe the kind of shoe, for monsieur's +information?" + +"It is a lady's shoe. It is a young lady's walking-shoe. It is in the +present mode. I never saw the mode. I have had a pattern in my hand." He +glanced at the shoe with some little passing touch of pride. + +"And the maker's name?" said Defarge. + +Now that he had no work to hold, he laid the knuckles of the right hand +in the hollow of the left, and then the knuckles of the left hand in the +hollow of the right, and then passed a hand across his bearded chin, and +so on in regular changes, without a moment's intermission. The task of +recalling him from the vagrancy into which he always sank when he +had spoken, was like recalling some very weak person from a swoon, or +endeavouring, in the hope of some disclosure, to stay the spirit of a +fast-dying man. + +"Did you ask me for my name?" + +"Assuredly I did." + +"One Hundred and Five, North Tower." + +"Is that all?" + +"One Hundred and Five, North Tower." + +With a weary sound that was not a sigh, nor a groan, he bent to work +again, until the silence was again broken. + +"You are not a shoemaker by trade?" said Mr. Lorry, looking steadfastly +at him. + +His haggard eyes turned to Defarge as if he would have transferred the +question to him: but as no help came from that quarter, they turned back +on the questioner when they had sought the ground. + +"I am not a shoemaker by trade? No, I was not a shoemaker by trade. I-I +learnt it here. I taught myself. I asked leave to--" + +He lapsed away, even for minutes, ringing those measured changes on his +hands the whole time. His eyes came slowly back, at last, to the face +from which they had wandered; when they rested on it, he started, and +resumed, in the manner of a sleeper that moment awake, reverting to a +subject of last night. + +"I asked leave to teach myself, and I got it with much difficulty after +a long while, and I have made shoes ever since." + +As he held out his hand for the shoe that had been taken from him, Mr. +Lorry said, still looking steadfastly in his face: + +"Monsieur Manette, do you remember nothing of me?" + +The shoe dropped to the ground, and he sat looking fixedly at the +questioner. + +"Monsieur Manette"; Mr. Lorry laid his hand upon Defarge's arm; "do you +remember nothing of this man? Look at him. Look at me. Is there no old +banker, no old business, no old servant, no old time, rising in your +mind, Monsieur Manette?" + +As the captive of many years sat looking fixedly, by turns, at Mr. +Lorry and at Defarge, some long obliterated marks of an actively intent +intelligence in the middle of the forehead, gradually forced themselves +through the black mist that had fallen on him. They were overclouded +again, they were fainter, they were gone; but they had been there. And +so exactly was the expression repeated on the fair young face of her who +had crept along the wall to a point where she could see him, and where +she now stood looking at him, with hands which at first had been only +raised in frightened compassion, if not even to keep him off and +shut out the sight of him, but which were now extending towards him, +trembling with eagerness to lay the spectral face upon her warm young +breast, and love it back to life and hope--so exactly was the expression +repeated (though in stronger characters) on her fair young face, that it +looked as though it had passed like a moving light, from him to her. + +Darkness had fallen on him in its place. He looked at the two, less and +less attentively, and his eyes in gloomy abstraction sought the ground +and looked about him in the old way. Finally, with a deep long sigh, he +took the shoe up, and resumed his work. + +"Have you recognised him, monsieur?" asked Defarge in a whisper. + +"Yes; for a moment. At first I thought it quite hopeless, but I have +unquestionably seen, for a single moment, the face that I once knew so +well. Hush! Let us draw further back. Hush!" + +She had moved from the wall of the garret, very near to the bench on +which he sat. There was something awful in his unconsciousness of the +figure that could have put out its hand and touched him as he stooped +over his labour. + +Not a word was spoken, not a sound was made. She stood, like a spirit, +beside him, and he bent over his work. + +It happened, at length, that he had occasion to change the instrument +in his hand, for his shoemaker's knife. It lay on that side of him +which was not the side on which she stood. He had taken it up, and was +stooping to work again, when his eyes caught the skirt of her dress. He +raised them, and saw her face. The two spectators started forward, +but she stayed them with a motion of her hand. She had no fear of his +striking at her with the knife, though they had. + +He stared at her with a fearful look, and after a while his lips began +to form some words, though no sound proceeded from them. By degrees, in +the pauses of his quick and laboured breathing, he was heard to say: + +"What is this?" + +With the tears streaming down her face, she put her two hands to her +lips, and kissed them to him; then clasped them on her breast, as if she +laid his ruined head there. + +"You are not the gaoler's daughter?" + +She sighed "No." + +"Who are you?" + +Not yet trusting the tones of her voice, she sat down on the bench +beside him. He recoiled, but she laid her hand upon his arm. A strange +thrill struck him when she did so, and visibly passed over his frame; he +laid the knife down softly, as he sat staring at her. + +Her golden hair, which she wore in long curls, had been hurriedly pushed +aside, and fell down over her neck. Advancing his hand by little and +little, he took it up and looked at it. In the midst of the action +he went astray, and, with another deep sigh, fell to work at his +shoemaking. + +But not for long. Releasing his arm, she laid her hand upon his +shoulder. After looking doubtfully at it, two or three times, as if to +be sure that it was really there, he laid down his work, put his hand +to his neck, and took off a blackened string with a scrap of folded rag +attached to it. He opened this, carefully, on his knee, and it contained +a very little quantity of hair: not more than one or two long golden +hairs, which he had, in some old day, wound off upon his finger. + +He took her hair into his hand again, and looked closely at it. "It is +the same. How can it be! When was it! How was it!" + +As the concentrated expression returned to his forehead, he seemed to +become conscious that it was in hers too. He turned her full to the +light, and looked at her. + +"She had laid her head upon my shoulder, that night when I was summoned +out--she had a fear of my going, though I had none--and when I was +brought to the North Tower they found these upon my sleeve. 'You will +leave me them? They can never help me to escape in the body, though they +may in the spirit.' Those were the words I said. I remember them very +well." + +He formed this speech with his lips many times before he could utter it. +But when he did find spoken words for it, they came to him coherently, +though slowly. + +"How was this?--_Was it you_?" + +Once more, the two spectators started, as he turned upon her with a +frightful suddenness. But she sat perfectly still in his grasp, and only +said, in a low voice, "I entreat you, good gentlemen, do not come near +us, do not speak, do not move!" + +"Hark!" he exclaimed. "Whose voice was that?" + +His hands released her as he uttered this cry, and went up to his white +hair, which they tore in a frenzy. It died out, as everything but his +shoemaking did die out of him, and he refolded his little packet and +tried to secure it in his breast; but he still looked at her, and +gloomily shook his head. + +"No, no, no; you are too young, too blooming. It can't be. See what the +prisoner is. These are not the hands she knew, this is not the face +she knew, this is not a voice she ever heard. No, no. She was--and He +was--before the slow years of the North Tower--ages ago. What is your +name, my gentle angel?" + +Hailing his softened tone and manner, his daughter fell upon her knees +before him, with her appealing hands upon his breast. + +"O, sir, at another time you shall know my name, and who my mother was, +and who my father, and how I never knew their hard, hard history. But I +cannot tell you at this time, and I cannot tell you here. All that I may +tell you, here and now, is, that I pray to you to touch me and to bless +me. Kiss me, kiss me! O my dear, my dear!" + +His cold white head mingled with her radiant hair, which warmed and +lighted it as though it were the light of Freedom shining on him. + +"If you hear in my voice--I don't know that it is so, but I hope it +is--if you hear in my voice any resemblance to a voice that once was +sweet music in your ears, weep for it, weep for it! If you touch, in +touching my hair, anything that recalls a beloved head that lay on your +breast when you were young and free, weep for it, weep for it! If, when +I hint to you of a Home that is before us, where I will be true to you +with all my duty and with all my faithful service, I bring back the +remembrance of a Home long desolate, while your poor heart pined away, +weep for it, weep for it!" + +She held him closer round the neck, and rocked him on her breast like a +child. + +"If, when I tell you, dearest dear, that your agony is over, and that I +have come here to take you from it, and that we go to England to be at +peace and at rest, I cause you to think of your useful life laid waste, +and of our native France so wicked to you, weep for it, weep for it! And +if, when I shall tell you of my name, and of my father who is living, +and of my mother who is dead, you learn that I have to kneel to my +honoured father, and implore his pardon for having never for his sake +striven all day and lain awake and wept all night, because the love of +my poor mother hid his torture from me, weep for it, weep for it! Weep +for her, then, and for me! Good gentlemen, thank God! I feel his sacred +tears upon my face, and his sobs strike against my heart. O, see! Thank +God for us, thank God!" + +He had sunk in her arms, and his face dropped on her breast: a sight so +touching, yet so terrible in the tremendous wrong and suffering which +had gone before it, that the two beholders covered their faces. + +When the quiet of the garret had been long undisturbed, and his heaving +breast and shaken form had long yielded to the calm that must follow all +storms--emblem to humanity, of the rest and silence into which the storm +called Life must hush at last--they came forward to raise the father and +daughter from the ground. He had gradually dropped to the floor, and lay +there in a lethargy, worn out. She had nestled down with him, that his +head might lie upon her arm; and her hair drooping over him curtained +him from the light. + +"If, without disturbing him," she said, raising her hand to Mr. Lorry as +he stooped over them, after repeated blowings of his nose, "all could be +arranged for our leaving Paris at once, so that, from the very door, he +could be taken away--" + +"But, consider. Is he fit for the journey?" asked Mr. Lorry. + +"More fit for that, I think, than to remain in this city, so dreadful to +him." + +"It is true," said Defarge, who was kneeling to look on and hear. "More +than that; Monsieur Manette is, for all reasons, best out of France. +Say, shall I hire a carriage and post-horses?" + +"That's business," said Mr. Lorry, resuming on the shortest notice his +methodical manners; "and if business is to be done, I had better do it." + +"Then be so kind," urged Miss Manette, "as to leave us here. You see how +composed he has become, and you cannot be afraid to leave him with me +now. Why should you be? If you will lock the door to secure us from +interruption, I do not doubt that you will find him, when you come back, +as quiet as you leave him. In any case, I will take care of him until +you return, and then we will remove him straight." + +Both Mr. Lorry and Defarge were rather disinclined to this course, and +in favour of one of them remaining. But, as there were not only carriage +and horses to be seen to, but travelling papers; and as time pressed, +for the day was drawing to an end, it came at last to their hastily +dividing the business that was necessary to be done, and hurrying away +to do it. + +Then, as the darkness closed in, the daughter laid her head down on the +hard ground close at the father's side, and watched him. The darkness +deepened and deepened, and they both lay quiet, until a light gleamed +through the chinks in the wall. + +Mr. Lorry and Monsieur Defarge had made all ready for the journey, and +had brought with them, besides travelling cloaks and wrappers, bread and +meat, wine, and hot coffee. Monsieur Defarge put this provender, and the +lamp he carried, on the shoemaker's bench (there was nothing else in the +garret but a pallet bed), and he and Mr. Lorry roused the captive, and +assisted him to his feet. + +No human intelligence could have read the mysteries of his mind, in +the scared blank wonder of his face. Whether he knew what had happened, +whether he recollected what they had said to him, whether he knew that +he was free, were questions which no sagacity could have solved. They +tried speaking to him; but, he was so confused, and so very slow to +answer, that they took fright at his bewilderment, and agreed for +the time to tamper with him no more. He had a wild, lost manner of +occasionally clasping his head in his hands, that had not been seen +in him before; yet, he had some pleasure in the mere sound of his +daughter's voice, and invariably turned to it when she spoke. + +In the submissive way of one long accustomed to obey under coercion, he +ate and drank what they gave him to eat and drink, and put on the cloak +and other wrappings, that they gave him to wear. He readily responded to +his daughter's drawing her arm through his, and took--and kept--her hand +in both his own. + +They began to descend; Monsieur Defarge going first with the lamp, Mr. +Lorry closing the little procession. They had not traversed many steps +of the long main staircase when he stopped, and stared at the roof and +round at the walls. + +"You remember the place, my father? You remember coming up here?" + +"What did you say?" + +But, before she could repeat the question, he murmured an answer as if +she had repeated it. + +"Remember? No, I don't remember. It was so very long ago." + +That he had no recollection whatever of his having been brought from his +prison to that house, was apparent to them. They heard him mutter, +"One Hundred and Five, North Tower;" and when he looked about him, it +evidently was for the strong fortress-walls which had long encompassed +him. On their reaching the courtyard he instinctively altered his +tread, as being in expectation of a drawbridge; and when there was +no drawbridge, and he saw the carriage waiting in the open street, he +dropped his daughter's hand and clasped his head again. + +No crowd was about the door; no people were discernible at any of the +many windows; not even a chance passerby was in the street. An unnatural +silence and desertion reigned there. Only one soul was to be seen, and +that was Madame Defarge--who leaned against the door-post, knitting, and +saw nothing. + +The prisoner had got into a coach, and his daughter had followed +him, when Mr. Lorry's feet were arrested on the step by his asking, +miserably, for his shoemaking tools and the unfinished shoes. Madame +Defarge immediately called to her husband that she would get them, and +went, knitting, out of the lamplight, through the courtyard. She quickly +brought them down and handed them in;--and immediately afterwards leaned +against the door-post, knitting, and saw nothing. + +Defarge got upon the box, and gave the word "To the Barrier!" The +postilion cracked his whip, and they clattered away under the feeble +over-swinging lamps. + +Under the over-swinging lamps--swinging ever brighter in the better +streets, and ever dimmer in the worse--and by lighted shops, gay crowds, +illuminated coffee-houses, and theatre-doors, to one of the city +gates. Soldiers with lanterns, at the guard-house there. "Your papers, +travellers!" "See here then, Monsieur the Officer," said Defarge, +getting down, and taking him gravely apart, "these are the papers of +monsieur inside, with the white head. They were consigned to me, with +him, at the--" He dropped his voice, there was a flutter among the +military lanterns, and one of them being handed into the coach by an arm +in uniform, the eyes connected with the arm looked, not an every day +or an every night look, at monsieur with the white head. "It is well. +Forward!" from the uniform. "Adieu!" from Defarge. And so, under a short +grove of feebler and feebler over-swinging lamps, out under the great +grove of stars. + +Beneath that arch of unmoved and eternal lights; some, so remote from +this little earth that the learned tell us it is doubtful whether their +rays have even yet discovered it, as a point in space where anything +is suffered or done: the shadows of the night were broad and black. +All through the cold and restless interval, until dawn, they once more +whispered in the ears of Mr. Jarvis Lorry--sitting opposite the buried +man who had been dug out, and wondering what subtle powers were for ever +lost to him, and what were capable of restoration--the old inquiry: + +"I hope you care to be recalled to life?" + +And the old answer: + +"I can't say." + + +The end of the first book. + + + + + +Book the Second--the Golden Thread + + + + +I. Five Years Later + + +Tellson's Bank by Temple Bar was an old-fashioned place, even in the +year one thousand seven hundred and eighty. It was very small, very +dark, very ugly, very incommodious. It was an old-fashioned place, +moreover, in the moral attribute that the partners in the House were +proud of its smallness, proud of its darkness, proud of its ugliness, +proud of its incommodiousness. They were even boastful of its eminence +in those particulars, and were fired by an express conviction that, if +it were less objectionable, it would be less respectable. This was +no passive belief, but an active weapon which they flashed at more +convenient places of business. Tellson's (they said) wanted +no elbow-room, Tellson's wanted no light, Tellson's wanted no +embellishment. Noakes and Co.'s might, or Snooks Brothers' might; but +Tellson's, thank Heaven--! + +Any one of these partners would have disinherited his son on the +question of rebuilding Tellson's. In this respect the House was much +on a par with the Country; which did very often disinherit its sons for +suggesting improvements in laws and customs that had long been highly +objectionable, but were only the more respectable. + +Thus it had come to pass, that Tellson's was the triumphant perfection +of inconvenience. After bursting open a door of idiotic obstinacy with +a weak rattle in its throat, you fell into Tellson's down two steps, +and came to your senses in a miserable little shop, with two little +counters, where the oldest of men made your cheque shake as if the +wind rustled it, while they examined the signature by the dingiest of +windows, which were always under a shower-bath of mud from Fleet-street, +and which were made the dingier by their own iron bars proper, and the +heavy shadow of Temple Bar. If your business necessitated your seeing +"the House," you were put into a species of Condemned Hold at the back, +where you meditated on a misspent life, until the House came with its +hands in its pockets, and you could hardly blink at it in the dismal +twilight. Your money came out of, or went into, wormy old wooden +drawers, particles of which flew up your nose and down your throat when +they were opened and shut. Your bank-notes had a musty odour, as if they +were fast decomposing into rags again. Your plate was stowed away among +the neighbouring cesspools, and evil communications corrupted its good +polish in a day or two. Your deeds got into extemporised strong-rooms +made of kitchens and sculleries, and fretted all the fat out of their +parchments into the banking-house air. Your lighter boxes of family +papers went up-stairs into a Barmecide room, that always had a great +dining-table in it and never had a dinner, and where, even in the year +one thousand seven hundred and eighty, the first letters written to you +by your old love, or by your little children, were but newly released +from the horror of being ogled through the windows, by the heads +exposed on Temple Bar with an insensate brutality and ferocity worthy of +Abyssinia or Ashantee. + +But indeed, at that time, putting to death was a recipe much in vogue +with all trades and professions, and not least of all with Tellson's. +Death is Nature's remedy for all things, and why not Legislation's? +Accordingly, the forger was put to Death; the utterer of a bad note +was put to Death; the unlawful opener of a letter was put to Death; the +purloiner of forty shillings and sixpence was put to Death; the holder +of a horse at Tellson's door, who made off with it, was put to +Death; the coiner of a bad shilling was put to Death; the sounders of +three-fourths of the notes in the whole gamut of Crime, were put to +Death. Not that it did the least good in the way of prevention--it +might almost have been worth remarking that the fact was exactly the +reverse--but, it cleared off (as to this world) the trouble of each +particular case, and left nothing else connected with it to be looked +after. Thus, Tellson's, in its day, like greater places of business, +its contemporaries, had taken so many lives, that, if the heads laid +low before it had been ranged on Temple Bar instead of being privately +disposed of, they would probably have excluded what little light the +ground floor had, in a rather significant manner. + +Cramped in all kinds of dim cupboards and hutches at Tellson's, the +oldest of men carried on the business gravely. When they took a young +man into Tellson's London house, they hid him somewhere till he was +old. They kept him in a dark place, like a cheese, until he had the full +Tellson flavour and blue-mould upon him. Then only was he permitted to +be seen, spectacularly poring over large books, and casting his breeches +and gaiters into the general weight of the establishment. + +Outside Tellson's--never by any means in it, unless called in--was an +odd-job-man, an occasional porter and messenger, who served as the live +sign of the house. He was never absent during business hours, unless +upon an errand, and then he was represented by his son: a grisly urchin +of twelve, who was his express image. People understood that Tellson's, +in a stately way, tolerated the odd-job-man. The house had always +tolerated some person in that capacity, and time and tide had drifted +this person to the post. His surname was Cruncher, and on the youthful +occasion of his renouncing by proxy the works of darkness, in the +easterly parish church of Hounsditch, he had received the added +appellation of Jerry. + +The scene was Mr. Cruncher's private lodging in Hanging-sword-alley, +Whitefriars: the time, half-past seven of the clock on a windy March +morning, Anno Domini seventeen hundred and eighty. (Mr. Cruncher himself +always spoke of the year of our Lord as Anna Dominoes: apparently under +the impression that the Christian era dated from the invention of a +popular game, by a lady who had bestowed her name upon it.) + +Mr. Cruncher's apartments were not in a savoury neighbourhood, and were +but two in number, even if a closet with a single pane of glass in it +might be counted as one. But they were very decently kept. Early as +it was, on the windy March morning, the room in which he lay abed was +already scrubbed throughout; and between the cups and saucers arranged +for breakfast, and the lumbering deal table, a very clean white cloth +was spread. + +Mr. Cruncher reposed under a patchwork counterpane, like a Harlequin +at home. At first, he slept heavily, but, by degrees, began to roll +and surge in bed, until he rose above the surface, with his spiky hair +looking as if it must tear the sheets to ribbons. At which juncture, he +exclaimed, in a voice of dire exasperation: + +"Bust me, if she ain't at it agin!" + +A woman of orderly and industrious appearance rose from her knees in a +corner, with sufficient haste and trepidation to show that she was the +person referred to. + +"What!" said Mr. Cruncher, looking out of bed for a boot. "You're at it +agin, are you?" + +After hailing the morn with this second salutation, he threw a boot at +the woman as a third. It was a very muddy boot, and may introduce the +odd circumstance connected with Mr. Cruncher's domestic economy, that, +whereas he often came home after banking hours with clean boots, he +often got up next morning to find the same boots covered with clay. + +"What," said Mr. Cruncher, varying his apostrophe after missing his +mark--"what are you up to, Aggerawayter?" + +"I was only saying my prayers." + +"Saying your prayers! You're a nice woman! What do you mean by flopping +yourself down and praying agin me?" + +"I was not praying against you; I was praying for you." + +"You weren't. And if you were, I won't be took the liberty with. Here! +your mother's a nice woman, young Jerry, going a praying agin your +father's prosperity. You've got a dutiful mother, you have, my son. +You've got a religious mother, you have, my boy: going and flopping +herself down, and praying that the bread-and-butter may be snatched out +of the mouth of her only child." + +Master Cruncher (who was in his shirt) took this very ill, and, turning +to his mother, strongly deprecated any praying away of his personal +board. + +"And what do you suppose, you conceited female," said Mr. Cruncher, with +unconscious inconsistency, "that the worth of _your_ prayers may be? +Name the price that you put _your_ prayers at!" + +"They only come from the heart, Jerry. They are worth no more than +that." + +"Worth no more than that," repeated Mr. Cruncher. "They ain't worth +much, then. Whether or no, I won't be prayed agin, I tell you. I can't +afford it. I'm not a going to be made unlucky by _your_ sneaking. If +you must go flopping yourself down, flop in favour of your husband and +child, and not in opposition to 'em. If I had had any but a unnat'ral +wife, and this poor boy had had any but a unnat'ral mother, I might +have made some money last week instead of being counter-prayed and +countermined and religiously circumwented into the worst of luck. +B-u-u-ust me!" said Mr. Cruncher, who all this time had been putting +on his clothes, "if I ain't, what with piety and one blowed thing and +another, been choused this last week into as bad luck as ever a poor +devil of a honest tradesman met with! Young Jerry, dress yourself, my +boy, and while I clean my boots keep a eye upon your mother now and +then, and if you see any signs of more flopping, give me a call. For, I +tell you," here he addressed his wife once more, "I won't be gone agin, +in this manner. I am as rickety as a hackney-coach, I'm as sleepy as +laudanum, my lines is strained to that degree that I shouldn't know, if +it wasn't for the pain in 'em, which was me and which somebody else, yet +I'm none the better for it in pocket; and it's my suspicion that you've +been at it from morning to night to prevent me from being the better for +it in pocket, and I won't put up with it, Aggerawayter, and what do you +say now!" + +Growling, in addition, such phrases as "Ah! yes! You're religious, too. +You wouldn't put yourself in opposition to the interests of your husband +and child, would you? Not you!" and throwing off other sarcastic sparks +from the whirling grindstone of his indignation, Mr. Cruncher betook +himself to his boot-cleaning and his general preparation for business. +In the meantime, his son, whose head was garnished with tenderer spikes, +and whose young eyes stood close by one another, as his father's did, +kept the required watch upon his mother. He greatly disturbed that poor +woman at intervals, by darting out of his sleeping closet, where he made +his toilet, with a suppressed cry of "You are going to flop, mother. +--Halloa, father!" and, after raising this fictitious alarm, darting in +again with an undutiful grin. + +Mr. Cruncher's temper was not at all improved when he came to his +breakfast. He resented Mrs. Cruncher's saying grace with particular +animosity. + +"Now, Aggerawayter! What are you up to? At it again?" + +His wife explained that she had merely "asked a blessing." + +"Don't do it!" said Mr. Crunches looking about, as if he rather expected +to see the loaf disappear under the efficacy of his wife's petitions. "I +ain't a going to be blest out of house and home. I won't have my wittles +blest off my table. Keep still!" + +Exceedingly red-eyed and grim, as if he had been up all night at a party +which had taken anything but a convivial turn, Jerry Cruncher worried +his breakfast rather than ate it, growling over it like any four-footed +inmate of a menagerie. Towards nine o'clock he smoothed his ruffled +aspect, and, presenting as respectable and business-like an exterior as +he could overlay his natural self with, issued forth to the occupation +of the day. + +It could scarcely be called a trade, in spite of his favourite +description of himself as "a honest tradesman." His stock consisted of +a wooden stool, made out of a broken-backed chair cut down, which stool, +young Jerry, walking at his father's side, carried every morning to +beneath the banking-house window that was nearest Temple Bar: where, +with the addition of the first handful of straw that could be gleaned +from any passing vehicle to keep the cold and wet from the odd-job-man's +feet, it formed the encampment for the day. On this post of his, Mr. +Cruncher was as well known to Fleet-street and the Temple, as the Bar +itself,--and was almost as in-looking. + +Encamped at a quarter before nine, in good time to touch his +three-cornered hat to the oldest of men as they passed in to Tellson's, +Jerry took up his station on this windy March morning, with young Jerry +standing by him, when not engaged in making forays through the Bar, to +inflict bodily and mental injuries of an acute description on passing +boys who were small enough for his amiable purpose. Father and son, +extremely like each other, looking silently on at the morning traffic +in Fleet-street, with their two heads as near to one another as the two +eyes of each were, bore a considerable resemblance to a pair of monkeys. +The resemblance was not lessened by the accidental circumstance, that +the mature Jerry bit and spat out straw, while the twinkling eyes of the +youthful Jerry were as restlessly watchful of him as of everything else +in Fleet-street. + +The head of one of the regular indoor messengers attached to Tellson's +establishment was put through the door, and the word was given: + +"Porter wanted!" + +"Hooray, father! Here's an early job to begin with!" + +Having thus given his parent God speed, young Jerry seated himself on +the stool, entered on his reversionary interest in the straw his father +had been chewing, and cogitated. + +"Al-ways rusty! His fingers is al-ways rusty!" muttered young Jerry. +"Where does my father get all that iron rust from? He don't get no iron +rust here!" + + + + +II. A Sight + + +"You know the Old Bailey well, no doubt?" said one of the oldest of +clerks to Jerry the messenger. + +"Ye-es, sir," returned Jerry, in something of a dogged manner. "I _do_ +know the Bailey." + +"Just so. And you know Mr. Lorry." + +"I know Mr. Lorry, sir, much better than I know the Bailey. Much +better," said Jerry, not unlike a reluctant witness at the establishment +in question, "than I, as a honest tradesman, wish to know the Bailey." + +"Very well. Find the door where the witnesses go in, and show the +door-keeper this note for Mr. Lorry. He will then let you in." + +"Into the court, sir?" + +"Into the court." + +Mr. Cruncher's eyes seemed to get a little closer to one another, and to +interchange the inquiry, "What do you think of this?" + +"Am I to wait in the court, sir?" he asked, as the result of that +conference. + +"I am going to tell you. The door-keeper will pass the note to Mr. +Lorry, and do you make any gesture that will attract Mr. Lorry's +attention, and show him where you stand. Then what you have to do, is, +to remain there until he wants you." + +"Is that all, sir?" + +"That's all. He wishes to have a messenger at hand. This is to tell him +you are there." + +As the ancient clerk deliberately folded and superscribed the note, +Mr. Cruncher, after surveying him in silence until he came to the +blotting-paper stage, remarked: + +"I suppose they'll be trying Forgeries this morning?" + +"Treason!" + +"That's quartering," said Jerry. "Barbarous!" + +"It is the law," remarked the ancient clerk, turning his surprised +spectacles upon him. "It is the law." + +"It's hard in the law to spile a man, I think. It's hard enough to kill +him, but it's wery hard to spile him, sir." + +"Not at all," retained the ancient clerk. "Speak well of the law. Take +care of your chest and voice, my good friend, and leave the law to take +care of itself. I give you that advice." + +"It's the damp, sir, what settles on my chest and voice," said Jerry. "I +leave you to judge what a damp way of earning a living mine is." + +"Well, well," said the old clerk; "we all have our various ways of +gaining a livelihood. Some of us have damp ways, and some of us have dry +ways. Here is the letter. Go along." + +Jerry took the letter, and, remarking to himself with less internal +deference than he made an outward show of, "You are a lean old one, +too," made his bow, informed his son, in passing, of his destination, +and went his way. + +They hanged at Tyburn, in those days, so the street outside Newgate had +not obtained one infamous notoriety that has since attached to it. +But, the gaol was a vile place, in which most kinds of debauchery and +villainy were practised, and where dire diseases were bred, that came +into court with the prisoners, and sometimes rushed straight from the +dock at my Lord Chief Justice himself, and pulled him off the bench. It +had more than once happened, that the Judge in the black cap pronounced +his own doom as certainly as the prisoner's, and even died before him. +For the rest, the Old Bailey was famous as a kind of deadly inn-yard, +from which pale travellers set out continually, in carts and coaches, on +a violent passage into the other world: traversing some two miles and a +half of public street and road, and shaming few good citizens, if any. +So powerful is use, and so desirable to be good use in the beginning. It +was famous, too, for the pillory, a wise old institution, that inflicted +a punishment of which no one could foresee the extent; also, for +the whipping-post, another dear old institution, very humanising and +softening to behold in action; also, for extensive transactions in +blood-money, another fragment of ancestral wisdom, systematically +leading to the most frightful mercenary crimes that could be committed +under Heaven. Altogether, the Old Bailey, at that date, was a choice +illustration of the precept, that "Whatever is is right;" an aphorism +that would be as final as it is lazy, did it not include the troublesome +consequence, that nothing that ever was, was wrong. + +Making his way through the tainted crowd, dispersed up and down this +hideous scene of action, with the skill of a man accustomed to make his +way quietly, the messenger found out the door he sought, and handed in +his letter through a trap in it. For, people then paid to see the play +at the Old Bailey, just as they paid to see the play in Bedlam--only the +former entertainment was much the dearer. Therefore, all the Old Bailey +doors were well guarded--except, indeed, the social doors by which the +criminals got there, and those were always left wide open. + +After some delay and demur, the door grudgingly turned on its hinges a +very little way, and allowed Mr. Jerry Cruncher to squeeze himself into +court. + +"What's on?" he asked, in a whisper, of the man he found himself next +to. + +"Nothing yet." + +"What's coming on?" + +"The Treason case." + +"The quartering one, eh?" + +"Ah!" returned the man, with a relish; "he'll be drawn on a hurdle to +be half hanged, and then he'll be taken down and sliced before his own +face, and then his inside will be taken out and burnt while he looks on, +and then his head will be chopped off, and he'll be cut into quarters. +That's the sentence." + +"If he's found Guilty, you mean to say?" Jerry added, by way of proviso. + +"Oh! they'll find him guilty," said the other. "Don't you be afraid of +that." + +Mr. Cruncher's attention was here diverted to the door-keeper, whom he +saw making his way to Mr. Lorry, with the note in his hand. Mr. Lorry +sat at a table, among the gentlemen in wigs: not far from a wigged +gentleman, the prisoner's counsel, who had a great bundle of papers +before him: and nearly opposite another wigged gentleman with his hands +in his pockets, whose whole attention, when Mr. Cruncher looked at him +then or afterwards, seemed to be concentrated on the ceiling of the +court. After some gruff coughing and rubbing of his chin and signing +with his hand, Jerry attracted the notice of Mr. Lorry, who had stood up +to look for him, and who quietly nodded and sat down again. + +"What's _he_ got to do with the case?" asked the man he had spoken with. + +"Blest if I know," said Jerry. + +"What have _you_ got to do with it, then, if a person may inquire?" + +"Blest if I know that either," said Jerry. + +The entrance of the Judge, and a consequent great stir and settling +down in the court, stopped the dialogue. Presently, the dock became the +central point of interest. Two gaolers, who had been standing there, +went out, and the prisoner was brought in, and put to the bar. + +Everybody present, except the one wigged gentleman who looked at the +ceiling, stared at him. All the human breath in the place, rolled +at him, like a sea, or a wind, or a fire. Eager faces strained round +pillars and corners, to get a sight of him; spectators in back rows +stood up, not to miss a hair of him; people on the floor of the court, +laid their hands on the shoulders of the people before them, to help +themselves, at anybody's cost, to a view of him--stood a-tiptoe, got +upon ledges, stood upon next to nothing, to see every inch of him. +Conspicuous among these latter, like an animated bit of the spiked wall +of Newgate, Jerry stood: aiming at the prisoner the beery breath of a +whet he had taken as he came along, and discharging it to mingle with +the waves of other beer, and gin, and tea, and coffee, and what not, +that flowed at him, and already broke upon the great windows behind him +in an impure mist and rain. + +The object of all this staring and blaring, was a young man of about +five-and-twenty, well-grown and well-looking, with a sunburnt cheek and +a dark eye. His condition was that of a young gentleman. He was plainly +dressed in black, or very dark grey, and his hair, which was long and +dark, was gathered in a ribbon at the back of his neck; more to be out +of his way than for ornament. As an emotion of the mind will express +itself through any covering of the body, so the paleness which his +situation engendered came through the brown upon his cheek, showing the +soul to be stronger than the sun. He was otherwise quite self-possessed, +bowed to the Judge, and stood quiet. + +The sort of interest with which this man was stared and breathed at, +was not a sort that elevated humanity. Had he stood in peril of a less +horrible sentence--had there been a chance of any one of its savage +details being spared--by just so much would he have lost in his +fascination. The form that was to be doomed to be so shamefully mangled, +was the sight; the immortal creature that was to be so butchered +and torn asunder, yielded the sensation. Whatever gloss the various +spectators put upon the interest, according to their several arts and +powers of self-deceit, the interest was, at the root of it, Ogreish. + +Silence in the court! Charles Darnay had yesterday pleaded Not Guilty to +an indictment denouncing him (with infinite jingle and jangle) for that +he was a false traitor to our serene, illustrious, excellent, and so +forth, prince, our Lord the King, by reason of his having, on divers +occasions, and by divers means and ways, assisted Lewis, the French +King, in his wars against our said serene, illustrious, excellent, and +so forth; that was to say, by coming and going, between the dominions of +our said serene, illustrious, excellent, and so forth, and those of the +said French Lewis, and wickedly, falsely, traitorously, and otherwise +evil-adverbiously, revealing to the said French Lewis what forces our +said serene, illustrious, excellent, and so forth, had in preparation +to send to Canada and North America. This much, Jerry, with his head +becoming more and more spiky as the law terms bristled it, made out with +huge satisfaction, and so arrived circuitously at the understanding that +the aforesaid, and over and over again aforesaid, Charles Darnay, stood +there before him upon his trial; that the jury were swearing in; and +that Mr. Attorney-General was making ready to speak. + +The accused, who was (and who knew he was) being mentally hanged, +beheaded, and quartered, by everybody there, neither flinched from +the situation, nor assumed any theatrical air in it. He was quiet and +attentive; watched the opening proceedings with a grave interest; +and stood with his hands resting on the slab of wood before him, so +composedly, that they had not displaced a leaf of the herbs with which +it was strewn. The court was all bestrewn with herbs and sprinkled with +vinegar, as a precaution against gaol air and gaol fever. + +Over the prisoner's head there was a mirror, to throw the light down +upon him. Crowds of the wicked and the wretched had been reflected in +it, and had passed from its surface and this earth's together. Haunted +in a most ghastly manner that abominable place would have been, if the +glass could ever have rendered back its reflections, as the ocean is one +day to give up its dead. Some passing thought of the infamy and disgrace +for which it had been reserved, may have struck the prisoner's mind. Be +that as it may, a change in his position making him conscious of a bar +of light across his face, he looked up; and when he saw the glass his +face flushed, and his right hand pushed the herbs away. + +It happened, that the action turned his face to that side of the court +which was on his left. About on a level with his eyes, there sat, +in that corner of the Judge's bench, two persons upon whom his look +immediately rested; so immediately, and so much to the changing of his +aspect, that all the eyes that were turned upon him, turned to them. + +The spectators saw in the two figures, a young lady of little more than +twenty, and a gentleman who was evidently her father; a man of a very +remarkable appearance in respect of the absolute whiteness of his hair, +and a certain indescribable intensity of face: not of an active kind, +but pondering and self-communing. When this expression was upon him, he +looked as if he were old; but when it was stirred and broken up--as +it was now, in a moment, on his speaking to his daughter--he became a +handsome man, not past the prime of life. + +His daughter had one of her hands drawn through his arm, as she sat by +him, and the other pressed upon it. She had drawn close to him, in her +dread of the scene, and in her pity for the prisoner. Her forehead had +been strikingly expressive of an engrossing terror and compassion +that saw nothing but the peril of the accused. This had been so very +noticeable, so very powerfully and naturally shown, that starers who +had had no pity for him were touched by her; and the whisper went about, +"Who are they?" + +Jerry, the messenger, who had made his own observations, in his own +manner, and who had been sucking the rust off his fingers in his +absorption, stretched his neck to hear who they were. The crowd about +him had pressed and passed the inquiry on to the nearest attendant, and +from him it had been more slowly pressed and passed back; at last it got +to Jerry: + +"Witnesses." + +"For which side?" + +"Against." + +"Against what side?" + +"The prisoner's." + +The Judge, whose eyes had gone in the general direction, recalled them, +leaned back in his seat, and looked steadily at the man whose life was +in his hand, as Mr. Attorney-General rose to spin the rope, grind the +axe, and hammer the nails into the scaffold. + + + + +III. A Disappointment + + +Mr. Attorney-General had to inform the jury, that the prisoner before +them, though young in years, was old in the treasonable practices which +claimed the forfeit of his life. That this correspondence with the +public enemy was not a correspondence of to-day, or of yesterday, or +even of last year, or of the year before. That, it was certain the +prisoner had, for longer than that, been in the habit of passing and +repassing between France and England, on secret business of which +he could give no honest account. That, if it were in the nature of +traitorous ways to thrive (which happily it never was), the real +wickedness and guilt of his business might have remained undiscovered. +That Providence, however, had put it into the heart of a person who +was beyond fear and beyond reproach, to ferret out the nature of the +prisoner's schemes, and, struck with horror, to disclose them to his +Majesty's Chief Secretary of State and most honourable Privy Council. +That, this patriot would be produced before them. That, his position and +attitude were, on the whole, sublime. That, he had been the prisoner's +friend, but, at once in an auspicious and an evil hour detecting his +infamy, had resolved to immolate the traitor he could no longer cherish +in his bosom, on the sacred altar of his country. That, if statues +were decreed in Britain, as in ancient Greece and Rome, to public +benefactors, this shining citizen would assuredly have had one. That, as +they were not so decreed, he probably would not have one. That, Virtue, +as had been observed by the poets (in many passages which he well +knew the jury would have, word for word, at the tips of their tongues; +whereat the jury's countenances displayed a guilty consciousness that +they knew nothing about the passages), was in a manner contagious; more +especially the bright virtue known as patriotism, or love of country. +That, the lofty example of this immaculate and unimpeachable witness +for the Crown, to refer to whom however unworthily was an honour, had +communicated itself to the prisoner's servant, and had engendered in him +a holy determination to examine his master's table-drawers and pockets, +and secrete his papers. That, he (Mr. Attorney-General) was prepared to +hear some disparagement attempted of this admirable servant; but that, +in a general way, he preferred him to his (Mr. Attorney-General's) +brothers and sisters, and honoured him more than his (Mr. +Attorney-General's) father and mother. That, he called with confidence +on the jury to come and do likewise. That, the evidence of these two +witnesses, coupled with the documents of their discovering that would be +produced, would show the prisoner to have been furnished with lists of +his Majesty's forces, and of their disposition and preparation, both by +sea and land, and would leave no doubt that he had habitually conveyed +such information to a hostile power. That, these lists could not be +proved to be in the prisoner's handwriting; but that it was all the +same; that, indeed, it was rather the better for the prosecution, as +showing the prisoner to be artful in his precautions. That, the proof +would go back five years, and would show the prisoner already engaged +in these pernicious missions, within a few weeks before the date of the +very first action fought between the British troops and the Americans. +That, for these reasons, the jury, being a loyal jury (as he knew they +were), and being a responsible jury (as _they_ knew they were), must +positively find the prisoner Guilty, and make an end of him, whether +they liked it or not. That, they never could lay their heads upon their +pillows; that, they never could tolerate the idea of their wives laying +their heads upon their pillows; that, they never could endure the notion +of their children laying their heads upon their pillows; in short, that +there never more could be, for them or theirs, any laying of heads upon +pillows at all, unless the prisoner's head was taken off. That head +Mr. Attorney-General concluded by demanding of them, in the name of +everything he could think of with a round turn in it, and on the faith +of his solemn asseveration that he already considered the prisoner as +good as dead and gone. + +When the Attorney-General ceased, a buzz arose in the court as if +a cloud of great blue-flies were swarming about the prisoner, in +anticipation of what he was soon to become. When toned down again, the +unimpeachable patriot appeared in the witness-box. + +Mr. Solicitor-General then, following his leader's lead, examined the +patriot: John Barsad, gentleman, by name. The story of his pure soul was +exactly what Mr. Attorney-General had described it to be--perhaps, if +it had a fault, a little too exactly. Having released his noble bosom +of its burden, he would have modestly withdrawn himself, but that the +wigged gentleman with the papers before him, sitting not far from Mr. +Lorry, begged to ask him a few questions. The wigged gentleman sitting +opposite, still looking at the ceiling of the court. + +Had he ever been a spy himself? No, he scorned the base insinuation. +What did he live upon? His property. Where was his property? He didn't +precisely remember where it was. What was it? No business of anybody's. +Had he inherited it? Yes, he had. From whom? Distant relation. Very +distant? Rather. Ever been in prison? Certainly not. Never in a debtors' +prison? Didn't see what that had to do with it. Never in a debtors' +prison?--Come, once again. Never? Yes. How many times? Two or three +times. Not five or six? Perhaps. Of what profession? Gentleman. Ever +been kicked? Might have been. Frequently? No. Ever kicked downstairs? +Decidedly not; once received a kick on the top of a staircase, and fell +downstairs of his own accord. Kicked on that occasion for cheating at +dice? Something to that effect was said by the intoxicated liar who +committed the assault, but it was not true. Swear it was not true? +Positively. Ever live by cheating at play? Never. Ever live by play? Not +more than other gentlemen do. Ever borrow money of the prisoner? Yes. +Ever pay him? No. Was not this intimacy with the prisoner, in reality a +very slight one, forced upon the prisoner in coaches, inns, and packets? +No. Sure he saw the prisoner with these lists? Certain. Knew no more +about the lists? No. Had not procured them himself, for instance? No. +Expect to get anything by this evidence? No. Not in regular government +pay and employment, to lay traps? Oh dear no. Or to do anything? Oh dear +no. Swear that? Over and over again. No motives but motives of sheer +patriotism? None whatever. + +The virtuous servant, Roger Cly, swore his way through the case at a +great rate. He had taken service with the prisoner, in good faith and +simplicity, four years ago. He had asked the prisoner, aboard the Calais +packet, if he wanted a handy fellow, and the prisoner had engaged him. +He had not asked the prisoner to take the handy fellow as an act of +charity--never thought of such a thing. He began to have suspicions of +the prisoner, and to keep an eye upon him, soon afterwards. In arranging +his clothes, while travelling, he had seen similar lists to these in the +prisoner's pockets, over and over again. He had taken these lists from +the drawer of the prisoner's desk. He had not put them there first. He +had seen the prisoner show these identical lists to French gentlemen +at Calais, and similar lists to French gentlemen, both at Calais and +Boulogne. He loved his country, and couldn't bear it, and had given +information. He had never been suspected of stealing a silver tea-pot; +he had been maligned respecting a mustard-pot, but it turned out to be +only a plated one. He had known the last witness seven or eight years; +that was merely a coincidence. He didn't call it a particularly curious +coincidence; most coincidences were curious. Neither did he call it a +curious coincidence that true patriotism was _his_ only motive too. He +was a true Briton, and hoped there were many like him. + +The blue-flies buzzed again, and Mr. Attorney-General called Mr. Jarvis +Lorry. + +"Mr. Jarvis Lorry, are you a clerk in Tellson's bank?" + +"I am." + +"On a certain Friday night in November one thousand seven hundred and +seventy-five, did business occasion you to travel between London and +Dover by the mail?" + +"It did." + +"Were there any other passengers in the mail?" + +"Two." + +"Did they alight on the road in the course of the night?" + +"They did." + +"Mr. Lorry, look upon the prisoner. Was he one of those two passengers?" + +"I cannot undertake to say that he was." + +"Does he resemble either of these two passengers?" + +"Both were so wrapped up, and the night was so dark, and we were all so +reserved, that I cannot undertake to say even that." + +"Mr. Lorry, look again upon the prisoner. Supposing him wrapped up as +those two passengers were, is there anything in his bulk and stature to +render it unlikely that he was one of them?" + +"No." + +"You will not swear, Mr. Lorry, that he was not one of them?" + +"No." + +"So at least you say he may have been one of them?" + +"Yes. Except that I remember them both to have been--like +myself--timorous of highwaymen, and the prisoner has not a timorous +air." + +"Did you ever see a counterfeit of timidity, Mr. Lorry?" + +"I certainly have seen that." + +"Mr. Lorry, look once more upon the prisoner. Have you seen him, to your +certain knowledge, before?" + +"I have." + +"When?" + +"I was returning from France a few days afterwards, and, at Calais, the +prisoner came on board the packet-ship in which I returned, and made the +voyage with me." + +"At what hour did he come on board?" + +"At a little after midnight." + +"In the dead of the night. Was he the only passenger who came on board +at that untimely hour?" + +"He happened to be the only one." + +"Never mind about 'happening,' Mr. Lorry. He was the only passenger who +came on board in the dead of the night?" + +"He was." + +"Were you travelling alone, Mr. Lorry, or with any companion?" + +"With two companions. A gentleman and lady. They are here." + +"They are here. Had you any conversation with the prisoner?" + +"Hardly any. The weather was stormy, and the passage long and rough, and +I lay on a sofa, almost from shore to shore." + +"Miss Manette!" + +The young lady, to whom all eyes had been turned before, and were now +turned again, stood up where she had sat. Her father rose with her, and +kept her hand drawn through his arm. + +"Miss Manette, look upon the prisoner." + +To be confronted with such pity, and such earnest youth and beauty, was +far more trying to the accused than to be confronted with all the crowd. +Standing, as it were, apart with her on the edge of his grave, not all +the staring curiosity that looked on, could, for the moment, nerve him +to remain quite still. His hurried right hand parcelled out the herbs +before him into imaginary beds of flowers in a garden; and his efforts +to control and steady his breathing shook the lips from which the colour +rushed to his heart. The buzz of the great flies was loud again. + +"Miss Manette, have you seen the prisoner before?" + +"Yes, sir." + +"Where?" + +"On board of the packet-ship just now referred to, sir, and on the same +occasion." + +"You are the young lady just now referred to?" + +"O! most unhappily, I am!" + +The plaintive tone of her compassion merged into the less musical voice +of the Judge, as he said something fiercely: "Answer the questions put +to you, and make no remark upon them." + +"Miss Manette, had you any conversation with the prisoner on that +passage across the Channel?" + +"Yes, sir." + +"Recall it." + +In the midst of a profound stillness, she faintly began: "When the +gentleman came on board--" + +"Do you mean the prisoner?" inquired the Judge, knitting his brows. + +"Yes, my Lord." + +"Then say the prisoner." + +"When the prisoner came on board, he noticed that my father," turning +her eyes lovingly to him as he stood beside her, "was much fatigued +and in a very weak state of health. My father was so reduced that I was +afraid to take him out of the air, and I had made a bed for him on the +deck near the cabin steps, and I sat on the deck at his side to take +care of him. There were no other passengers that night, but we four. +The prisoner was so good as to beg permission to advise me how I could +shelter my father from the wind and weather, better than I had done. I +had not known how to do it well, not understanding how the wind would +set when we were out of the harbour. He did it for me. He expressed +great gentleness and kindness for my father's state, and I am sure he +felt it. That was the manner of our beginning to speak together." + +"Let me interrupt you for a moment. Had he come on board alone?" + +"No." + +"How many were with him?" + +"Two French gentlemen." + +"Had they conferred together?" + +"They had conferred together until the last moment, when it was +necessary for the French gentlemen to be landed in their boat." + +"Had any papers been handed about among them, similar to these lists?" + +"Some papers had been handed about among them, but I don't know what +papers." + +"Like these in shape and size?" + +"Possibly, but indeed I don't know, although they stood whispering very +near to me: because they stood at the top of the cabin steps to have the +light of the lamp that was hanging there; it was a dull lamp, and they +spoke very low, and I did not hear what they said, and saw only that +they looked at papers." + +"Now, to the prisoner's conversation, Miss Manette." + +"The prisoner was as open in his confidence with me--which arose out +of my helpless situation--as he was kind, and good, and useful to my +father. I hope," bursting into tears, "I may not repay him by doing him +harm to-day." + +Buzzing from the blue-flies. + +"Miss Manette, if the prisoner does not perfectly understand that +you give the evidence which it is your duty to give--which you must +give--and which you cannot escape from giving--with great unwillingness, +he is the only person present in that condition. Please to go on." + +"He told me that he was travelling on business of a delicate and +difficult nature, which might get people into trouble, and that he was +therefore travelling under an assumed name. He said that this business +had, within a few days, taken him to France, and might, at intervals, +take him backwards and forwards between France and England for a long +time to come." + +"Did he say anything about America, Miss Manette? Be particular." + +"He tried to explain to me how that quarrel had arisen, and he said +that, so far as he could judge, it was a wrong and foolish one on +England's part. He added, in a jesting way, that perhaps George +Washington might gain almost as great a name in history as George the +Third. But there was no harm in his way of saying this: it was said +laughingly, and to beguile the time." + +Any strongly marked expression of face on the part of a chief actor in +a scene of great interest to whom many eyes are directed, will be +unconsciously imitated by the spectators. Her forehead was painfully +anxious and intent as she gave this evidence, and, in the pauses when +she stopped for the Judge to write it down, watched its effect upon +the counsel for and against. Among the lookers-on there was the same +expression in all quarters of the court; insomuch, that a great majority +of the foreheads there, might have been mirrors reflecting the witness, +when the Judge looked up from his notes to glare at that tremendous +heresy about George Washington. + +Mr. Attorney-General now signified to my Lord, that he deemed it +necessary, as a matter of precaution and form, to call the young lady's +father, Doctor Manette. Who was called accordingly. + +"Doctor Manette, look upon the prisoner. Have you ever seen him before?" + +"Once. When he called at my lodgings in London. Some three years, or +three years and a half ago." + +"Can you identify him as your fellow-passenger on board the packet, or +speak to his conversation with your daughter?" + +"Sir, I can do neither." + +"Is there any particular and special reason for your being unable to do +either?" + +He answered, in a low voice, "There is." + +"Has it been your misfortune to undergo a long imprisonment, without +trial, or even accusation, in your native country, Doctor Manette?" + +He answered, in a tone that went to every heart, "A long imprisonment." + +"Were you newly released on the occasion in question?" + +"They tell me so." + +"Have you no remembrance of the occasion?" + +"None. My mind is a blank, from some time--I cannot even say what +time--when I employed myself, in my captivity, in making shoes, to the +time when I found myself living in London with my dear daughter +here. She had become familiar to me, when a gracious God restored +my faculties; but, I am quite unable even to say how she had become +familiar. I have no remembrance of the process." + +Mr. Attorney-General sat down, and the father and daughter sat down +together. + +A singular circumstance then arose in the case. The object in hand being +to show that the prisoner went down, with some fellow-plotter untracked, +in the Dover mail on that Friday night in November five years ago, and +got out of the mail in the night, as a blind, at a place where he did +not remain, but from which he travelled back some dozen miles or more, +to a garrison and dockyard, and there collected information; a witness +was called to identify him as having been at the precise time required, +in the coffee-room of an hotel in that garrison-and-dockyard town, +waiting for another person. The prisoner's counsel was cross-examining +this witness with no result, except that he had never seen the prisoner +on any other occasion, when the wigged gentleman who had all this time +been looking at the ceiling of the court, wrote a word or two on a +little piece of paper, screwed it up, and tossed it to him. Opening +this piece of paper in the next pause, the counsel looked with great +attention and curiosity at the prisoner. + +"You say again you are quite sure that it was the prisoner?" + +The witness was quite sure. + +"Did you ever see anybody very like the prisoner?" + +Not so like (the witness said) as that he could be mistaken. + +"Look well upon that gentleman, my learned friend there," pointing +to him who had tossed the paper over, "and then look well upon the +prisoner. How say you? Are they very like each other?" + +Allowing for my learned friend's appearance being careless and slovenly +if not debauched, they were sufficiently like each other to surprise, +not only the witness, but everybody present, when they were thus brought +into comparison. My Lord being prayed to bid my learned friend lay aside +his wig, and giving no very gracious consent, the likeness became +much more remarkable. My Lord inquired of Mr. Stryver (the prisoner's +counsel), whether they were next to try Mr. Carton (name of my learned +friend) for treason? But, Mr. Stryver replied to my Lord, no; but he +would ask the witness to tell him whether what happened once, might +happen twice; whether he would have been so confident if he had seen +this illustration of his rashness sooner, whether he would be so +confident, having seen it; and more. The upshot of which, was, to smash +this witness like a crockery vessel, and shiver his part of the case to +useless lumber. + +Mr. Cruncher had by this time taken quite a lunch of rust off his +fingers in his following of the evidence. He had now to attend while Mr. +Stryver fitted the prisoner's case on the jury, like a compact suit +of clothes; showing them how the patriot, Barsad, was a hired spy and +traitor, an unblushing trafficker in blood, and one of the greatest +scoundrels upon earth since accursed Judas--which he certainly did look +rather like. How the virtuous servant, Cly, was his friend and partner, +and was worthy to be; how the watchful eyes of those forgers and false +swearers had rested on the prisoner as a victim, because some family +affairs in France, he being of French extraction, did require his making +those passages across the Channel--though what those affairs were, a +consideration for others who were near and dear to him, forbade him, +even for his life, to disclose. How the evidence that had been warped +and wrested from the young lady, whose anguish in giving it they +had witnessed, came to nothing, involving the mere little innocent +gallantries and politenesses likely to pass between any young gentleman +and young lady so thrown together;--with the exception of that +reference to George Washington, which was altogether too extravagant and +impossible to be regarded in any other light than as a monstrous joke. +How it would be a weakness in the government to break down in this +attempt to practise for popularity on the lowest national antipathies +and fears, and therefore Mr. Attorney-General had made the most of it; +how, nevertheless, it rested upon nothing, save that vile and infamous +character of evidence too often disfiguring such cases, and of which the +State Trials of this country were full. But, there my Lord interposed +(with as grave a face as if it had not been true), saying that he could +not sit upon that Bench and suffer those allusions. + +Mr. Stryver then called his few witnesses, and Mr. Cruncher had next to +attend while Mr. Attorney-General turned the whole suit of clothes Mr. +Stryver had fitted on the jury, inside out; showing how Barsad and +Cly were even a hundred times better than he had thought them, and the +prisoner a hundred times worse. Lastly, came my Lord himself, turning +the suit of clothes, now inside out, now outside in, but on the whole +decidedly trimming and shaping them into grave-clothes for the prisoner. + +And now, the jury turned to consider, and the great flies swarmed again. + +Mr. Carton, who had so long sat looking at the ceiling of the court, +changed neither his place nor his attitude, even in this excitement. +While his learned friend, Mr. Stryver, massing his papers before him, +whispered with those who sat near, and from time to time glanced +anxiously at the jury; while all the spectators moved more or less, and +grouped themselves anew; while even my Lord himself arose from his seat, +and slowly paced up and down his platform, not unattended by a suspicion +in the minds of the audience that his state was feverish; this one man +sat leaning back, with his torn gown half off him, his untidy wig put +on just as it had happened to light on his head after its removal, his +hands in his pockets, and his eyes on the ceiling as they had been all +day. Something especially reckless in his demeanour, not only gave him +a disreputable look, but so diminished the strong resemblance he +undoubtedly bore to the prisoner (which his momentary earnestness, +when they were compared together, had strengthened), that many of the +lookers-on, taking note of him now, said to one another they would +hardly have thought the two were so alike. Mr. Cruncher made the +observation to his next neighbour, and added, "I'd hold half a guinea +that _he_ don't get no law-work to do. Don't look like the sort of one +to get any, do he?" + +Yet, this Mr. Carton took in more of the details of the scene than he +appeared to take in; for now, when Miss Manette's head dropped upon +her father's breast, he was the first to see it, and to say audibly: +"Officer! look to that young lady. Help the gentleman to take her out. +Don't you see she will fall!" + +There was much commiseration for her as she was removed, and much +sympathy with her father. It had evidently been a great distress to +him, to have the days of his imprisonment recalled. He had shown +strong internal agitation when he was questioned, and that pondering or +brooding look which made him old, had been upon him, like a heavy cloud, +ever since. As he passed out, the jury, who had turned back and paused a +moment, spoke, through their foreman. + +They were not agreed, and wished to retire. My Lord (perhaps with George +Washington on his mind) showed some surprise that they were not agreed, +but signified his pleasure that they should retire under watch and ward, +and retired himself. The trial had lasted all day, and the lamps in +the court were now being lighted. It began to be rumoured that the +jury would be out a long while. The spectators dropped off to get +refreshment, and the prisoner withdrew to the back of the dock, and sat +down. + +Mr. Lorry, who had gone out when the young lady and her father went out, +now reappeared, and beckoned to Jerry: who, in the slackened interest, +could easily get near him. + +"Jerry, if you wish to take something to eat, you can. But, keep in the +way. You will be sure to hear when the jury come in. Don't be a moment +behind them, for I want you to take the verdict back to the bank. You +are the quickest messenger I know, and will get to Temple Bar long +before I can." + +Jerry had just enough forehead to knuckle, and he knuckled it in +acknowledgment of this communication and a shilling. Mr. Carton came up +at the moment, and touched Mr. Lorry on the arm. + +"How is the young lady?" + +"She is greatly distressed; but her father is comforting her, and she +feels the better for being out of court." + +"I'll tell the prisoner so. It won't do for a respectable bank gentleman +like you, to be seen speaking to him publicly, you know." + +Mr. Lorry reddened as if he were conscious of having debated the point +in his mind, and Mr. Carton made his way to the outside of the bar. +The way out of court lay in that direction, and Jerry followed him, all +eyes, ears, and spikes. + +"Mr. Darnay!" + +The prisoner came forward directly. + +"You will naturally be anxious to hear of the witness, Miss Manette. She +will do very well. You have seen the worst of her agitation." + +"I am deeply sorry to have been the cause of it. Could you tell her so +for me, with my fervent acknowledgments?" + +"Yes, I could. I will, if you ask it." + +Mr. Carton's manner was so careless as to be almost insolent. He stood, +half turned from the prisoner, lounging with his elbow against the bar. + +"I do ask it. Accept my cordial thanks." + +"What," said Carton, still only half turned towards him, "do you expect, +Mr. Darnay?" + +"The worst." + +"It's the wisest thing to expect, and the likeliest. But I think their +withdrawing is in your favour." + +Loitering on the way out of court not being allowed, Jerry heard no +more: but left them--so like each other in feature, so unlike each other +in manner--standing side by side, both reflected in the glass above +them. + +An hour and a half limped heavily away in the thief-and-rascal crowded +passages below, even though assisted off with mutton pies and ale. +The hoarse messenger, uncomfortably seated on a form after taking that +refection, had dropped into a doze, when a loud murmur and a rapid tide +of people setting up the stairs that led to the court, carried him along +with them. + +"Jerry! Jerry!" Mr. Lorry was already calling at the door when he got +there. + +"Here, sir! It's a fight to get back again. Here I am, sir!" + +Mr. Lorry handed him a paper through the throng. "Quick! Have you got +it?" + +"Yes, sir." + +Hastily written on the paper was the word "ACQUITTED." + +"If you had sent the message, 'Recalled to Life,' again," muttered +Jerry, as he turned, "I should have known what you meant, this time." + +He had no opportunity of saying, or so much as thinking, anything else, +until he was clear of the Old Bailey; for, the crowd came pouring out +with a vehemence that nearly took him off his legs, and a loud buzz +swept into the street as if the baffled blue-flies were dispersing in +search of other carrion. + + + + +IV. Congratulatory + + +From the dimly-lighted passages of the court, the last sediment of the +human stew that had been boiling there all day, was straining off, when +Doctor Manette, Lucie Manette, his daughter, Mr. Lorry, the solicitor +for the defence, and its counsel, Mr. Stryver, stood gathered round Mr. +Charles Darnay--just released--congratulating him on his escape from +death. + +It would have been difficult by a far brighter light, to recognise +in Doctor Manette, intellectual of face and upright of bearing, the +shoemaker of the garret in Paris. Yet, no one could have looked at him +twice, without looking again: even though the opportunity of observation +had not extended to the mournful cadence of his low grave voice, and +to the abstraction that overclouded him fitfully, without any apparent +reason. While one external cause, and that a reference to his long +lingering agony, would always--as on the trial--evoke this condition +from the depths of his soul, it was also in its nature to arise of +itself, and to draw a gloom over him, as incomprehensible to those +unacquainted with his story as if they had seen the shadow of the actual +Bastille thrown upon him by a summer sun, when the substance was three +hundred miles away. + +Only his daughter had the power of charming this black brooding from +his mind. She was the golden thread that united him to a Past beyond his +misery, and to a Present beyond his misery: and the sound of her voice, +the light of her face, the touch of her hand, had a strong beneficial +influence with him almost always. Not absolutely always, for she could +recall some occasions on which her power had failed; but they were few +and slight, and she believed them over. + +Mr. Darnay had kissed her hand fervently and gratefully, and had turned +to Mr. Stryver, whom he warmly thanked. Mr. Stryver, a man of little +more than thirty, but looking twenty years older than he was, stout, +loud, red, bluff, and free from any drawback of delicacy, had a pushing +way of shouldering himself (morally and physically) into companies and +conversations, that argued well for his shouldering his way up in life. + +He still had his wig and gown on, and he said, squaring himself at his +late client to that degree that he squeezed the innocent Mr. Lorry clean +out of the group: "I am glad to have brought you off with honour, Mr. +Darnay. It was an infamous prosecution, grossly infamous; but not the +less likely to succeed on that account." + +"You have laid me under an obligation to you for life--in two senses," +said his late client, taking his hand. + +"I have done my best for you, Mr. Darnay; and my best is as good as +another man's, I believe." + +It clearly being incumbent on some one to say, "Much better," Mr. Lorry +said it; perhaps not quite disinterestedly, but with the interested +object of squeezing himself back again. + +"You think so?" said Mr. Stryver. "Well! you have been present all day, +and you ought to know. You are a man of business, too." + +"And as such," quoth Mr. Lorry, whom the counsel learned in the law had +now shouldered back into the group, just as he had previously shouldered +him out of it--"as such I will appeal to Doctor Manette, to break up +this conference and order us all to our homes. Miss Lucie looks ill, Mr. +Darnay has had a terrible day, we are worn out." + +"Speak for yourself, Mr. Lorry," said Stryver; "I have a night's work to +do yet. Speak for yourself." + +"I speak for myself," answered Mr. Lorry, "and for Mr. Darnay, and for +Miss Lucie, and--Miss Lucie, do you not think I may speak for us all?" +He asked her the question pointedly, and with a glance at her father. + +His face had become frozen, as it were, in a very curious look at +Darnay: an intent look, deepening into a frown of dislike and distrust, +not even unmixed with fear. With this strange expression on him his +thoughts had wandered away. + +"My father," said Lucie, softly laying her hand on his. + +He slowly shook the shadow off, and turned to her. + +"Shall we go home, my father?" + +With a long breath, he answered "Yes." + +The friends of the acquitted prisoner had dispersed, under the +impression--which he himself had originated--that he would not be +released that night. The lights were nearly all extinguished in the +passages, the iron gates were being closed with a jar and a rattle, +and the dismal place was deserted until to-morrow morning's interest of +gallows, pillory, whipping-post, and branding-iron, should repeople it. +Walking between her father and Mr. Darnay, Lucie Manette passed into +the open air. A hackney-coach was called, and the father and daughter +departed in it. + +Mr. Stryver had left them in the passages, to shoulder his way back +to the robing-room. Another person, who had not joined the group, or +interchanged a word with any one of them, but who had been leaning +against the wall where its shadow was darkest, had silently strolled +out after the rest, and had looked on until the coach drove away. He now +stepped up to where Mr. Lorry and Mr. Darnay stood upon the pavement. + +"So, Mr. Lorry! Men of business may speak to Mr. Darnay now?" + +Nobody had made any acknowledgment of Mr. Carton's part in the day's +proceedings; nobody had known of it. He was unrobed, and was none the +better for it in appearance. + +"If you knew what a conflict goes on in the business mind, when the +business mind is divided between good-natured impulse and business +appearances, you would be amused, Mr. Darnay." + +Mr. Lorry reddened, and said, warmly, "You have mentioned that before, +sir. We men of business, who serve a House, are not our own masters. We +have to think of the House more than ourselves." + +"_I_ know, _I_ know," rejoined Mr. Carton, carelessly. "Don't be +nettled, Mr. Lorry. You are as good as another, I have no doubt: better, +I dare say." + +"And indeed, sir," pursued Mr. Lorry, not minding him, "I really don't +know what you have to do with the matter. If you'll excuse me, as very +much your elder, for saying so, I really don't know that it is your +business." + +"Business! Bless you, _I_ have no business," said Mr. Carton. + +"It is a pity you have not, sir." + +"I think so, too." + +"If you had," pursued Mr. Lorry, "perhaps you would attend to it." + +"Lord love you, no!--I shouldn't," said Mr. Carton. + +"Well, sir!" cried Mr. Lorry, thoroughly heated by his indifference, +"business is a very good thing, and a very respectable thing. And, sir, +if business imposes its restraints and its silences and impediments, Mr. +Darnay as a young gentleman of generosity knows how to make allowance +for that circumstance. Mr. Darnay, good night, God bless you, sir! +I hope you have been this day preserved for a prosperous and happy +life.--Chair there!" + +Perhaps a little angry with himself, as well as with the barrister, Mr. +Lorry bustled into the chair, and was carried off to Tellson's. Carton, +who smelt of port wine, and did not appear to be quite sober, laughed +then, and turned to Darnay: + +"This is a strange chance that throws you and me together. This must +be a strange night to you, standing alone here with your counterpart on +these street stones?" + +"I hardly seem yet," returned Charles Darnay, "to belong to this world +again." + +"I don't wonder at it; it's not so long since you were pretty far +advanced on your way to another. You speak faintly." + +"I begin to think I _am_ faint." + +"Then why the devil don't you dine? I dined, myself, while those +numskulls were deliberating which world you should belong to--this, or +some other. Let me show you the nearest tavern to dine well at." + +Drawing his arm through his own, he took him down Ludgate-hill to +Fleet-street, and so, up a covered way, into a tavern. Here, they were +shown into a little room, where Charles Darnay was soon recruiting +his strength with a good plain dinner and good wine: while Carton sat +opposite to him at the same table, with his separate bottle of port +before him, and his fully half-insolent manner upon him. + +"Do you feel, yet, that you belong to this terrestrial scheme again, Mr. +Darnay?" + +"I am frightfully confused regarding time and place; but I am so far +mended as to feel that." + +"It must be an immense satisfaction!" + +He said it bitterly, and filled up his glass again: which was a large +one. + +"As to me, the greatest desire I have, is to forget that I belong to it. +It has no good in it for me--except wine like this--nor I for it. So we +are not much alike in that particular. Indeed, I begin to think we are +not much alike in any particular, you and I." + +Confused by the emotion of the day, and feeling his being there with +this Double of coarse deportment, to be like a dream, Charles Darnay was +at a loss how to answer; finally, answered not at all. + +"Now your dinner is done," Carton presently said, "why don't you call a +health, Mr. Darnay; why don't you give your toast?" + +"What health? What toast?" + +"Why, it's on the tip of your tongue. It ought to be, it must be, I'll +swear it's there." + +"Miss Manette, then!" + +"Miss Manette, then!" + +Looking his companion full in the face while he drank the toast, Carton +flung his glass over his shoulder against the wall, where it shivered to +pieces; then, rang the bell, and ordered in another. + +"That's a fair young lady to hand to a coach in the dark, Mr. Darnay!" +he said, filling his new goblet. + +A slight frown and a laconic "Yes," were the answer. + +"That's a fair young lady to be pitied by and wept for by! How does it +feel? Is it worth being tried for one's life, to be the object of such +sympathy and compassion, Mr. Darnay?" + +Again Darnay answered not a word. + +"She was mightily pleased to have your message, when I gave it her. Not +that she showed she was pleased, but I suppose she was." + +The allusion served as a timely reminder to Darnay that this +disagreeable companion had, of his own free will, assisted him in the +strait of the day. He turned the dialogue to that point, and thanked him +for it. + +"I neither want any thanks, nor merit any," was the careless rejoinder. +"It was nothing to do, in the first place; and I don't know why I did +it, in the second. Mr. Darnay, let me ask you a question." + +"Willingly, and a small return for your good offices." + +"Do you think I particularly like you?" + +"Really, Mr. Carton," returned the other, oddly disconcerted, "I have +not asked myself the question." + +"But ask yourself the question now." + +"You have acted as if you do; but I don't think you do." + +"_I_ don't think I do," said Carton. "I begin to have a very good +opinion of your understanding." + +"Nevertheless," pursued Darnay, rising to ring the bell, "there is +nothing in that, I hope, to prevent my calling the reckoning, and our +parting without ill-blood on either side." + +Carton rejoining, "Nothing in life!" Darnay rang. "Do you call the whole +reckoning?" said Carton. On his answering in the affirmative, "Then +bring me another pint of this same wine, drawer, and come and wake me at +ten." + +The bill being paid, Charles Darnay rose and wished him good night. +Without returning the wish, Carton rose too, with something of a threat +of defiance in his manner, and said, "A last word, Mr. Darnay: you think +I am drunk?" + +"I think you have been drinking, Mr. Carton." + +"Think? You know I have been drinking." + +"Since I must say so, I know it." + +"Then you shall likewise know why. I am a disappointed drudge, sir. I +care for no man on earth, and no man on earth cares for me." + +"Much to be regretted. You might have used your talents better." + +"May be so, Mr. Darnay; may be not. Don't let your sober face elate you, +however; you don't know what it may come to. Good night!" + +When he was left alone, this strange being took up a candle, went to a +glass that hung against the wall, and surveyed himself minutely in it. + +"Do you particularly like the man?" he muttered, at his own image; "why +should you particularly like a man who resembles you? There is nothing +in you to like; you know that. Ah, confound you! What a change you have +made in yourself! A good reason for taking to a man, that he shows you +what you have fallen away from, and what you might have been! Change +places with him, and would you have been looked at by those blue eyes as +he was, and commiserated by that agitated face as he was? Come on, and +have it out in plain words! You hate the fellow." + +He resorted to his pint of wine for consolation, drank it all in a few +minutes, and fell asleep on his arms, with his hair straggling over the +table, and a long winding-sheet in the candle dripping down upon him. + + + + +V. The Jackal + + +Those were drinking days, and most men drank hard. So very great is +the improvement Time has brought about in such habits, that a moderate +statement of the quantity of wine and punch which one man would swallow +in the course of a night, without any detriment to his reputation as a +perfect gentleman, would seem, in these days, a ridiculous exaggeration. +The learned profession of the law was certainly not behind any other +learned profession in its Bacchanalian propensities; neither was Mr. +Stryver, already fast shouldering his way to a large and lucrative +practice, behind his compeers in this particular, any more than in the +drier parts of the legal race. + +A favourite at the Old Bailey, and eke at the Sessions, Mr. Stryver had +begun cautiously to hew away the lower staves of the ladder on which +he mounted. Sessions and Old Bailey had now to summon their favourite, +specially, to their longing arms; and shouldering itself towards the +visage of the Lord Chief Justice in the Court of King's Bench, the +florid countenance of Mr. Stryver might be daily seen, bursting out of +the bed of wigs, like a great sunflower pushing its way at the sun from +among a rank garden-full of flaring companions. + +It had once been noted at the Bar, that while Mr. Stryver was a glib +man, and an unscrupulous, and a ready, and a bold, he had not that +faculty of extracting the essence from a heap of statements, which is +among the most striking and necessary of the advocate's accomplishments. +But, a remarkable improvement came upon him as to this. The more +business he got, the greater his power seemed to grow of getting at its +pith and marrow; and however late at night he sat carousing with Sydney +Carton, he always had his points at his fingers' ends in the morning. + +Sydney Carton, idlest and most unpromising of men, was Stryver's great +ally. What the two drank together, between Hilary Term and Michaelmas, +might have floated a king's ship. Stryver never had a case in hand, +anywhere, but Carton was there, with his hands in his pockets, staring +at the ceiling of the court; they went the same Circuit, and even there +they prolonged their usual orgies late into the night, and Carton was +rumoured to be seen at broad day, going home stealthily and unsteadily +to his lodgings, like a dissipated cat. At last, it began to get about, +among such as were interested in the matter, that although Sydney Carton +would never be a lion, he was an amazingly good jackal, and that he +rendered suit and service to Stryver in that humble capacity. + +"Ten o'clock, sir," said the man at the tavern, whom he had charged to +wake him--"ten o'clock, sir." + +"_What's_ the matter?" + +"Ten o'clock, sir." + +"What do you mean? Ten o'clock at night?" + +"Yes, sir. Your honour told me to call you." + +"Oh! I remember. Very well, very well." + +After a few dull efforts to get to sleep again, which the man +dexterously combated by stirring the fire continuously for five minutes, +he got up, tossed his hat on, and walked out. He turned into the Temple, +and, having revived himself by twice pacing the pavements of King's +Bench-walk and Paper-buildings, turned into the Stryver chambers. + +The Stryver clerk, who never assisted at these conferences, had gone +home, and the Stryver principal opened the door. He had his slippers on, +and a loose bed-gown, and his throat was bare for his greater ease. He +had that rather wild, strained, seared marking about the eyes, which +may be observed in all free livers of his class, from the portrait of +Jeffries downward, and which can be traced, under various disguises of +Art, through the portraits of every Drinking Age. + +"You are a little late, Memory," said Stryver. + +"About the usual time; it may be a quarter of an hour later." + +They went into a dingy room lined with books and littered with papers, +where there was a blazing fire. A kettle steamed upon the hob, and in +the midst of the wreck of papers a table shone, with plenty of wine upon +it, and brandy, and rum, and sugar, and lemons. + +"You have had your bottle, I perceive, Sydney." + +"Two to-night, I think. I have been dining with the day's client; or +seeing him dine--it's all one!" + +"That was a rare point, Sydney, that you brought to bear upon the +identification. How did you come by it? When did it strike you?" + +"I thought he was rather a handsome fellow, and I thought I should have +been much the same sort of fellow, if I had had any luck." + +Mr. Stryver laughed till he shook his precocious paunch. + +"You and your luck, Sydney! Get to work, get to work." + +Sullenly enough, the jackal loosened his dress, went into an adjoining +room, and came back with a large jug of cold water, a basin, and a towel +or two. Steeping the towels in the water, and partially wringing them +out, he folded them on his head in a manner hideous to behold, sat down +at the table, and said, "Now I am ready!" + +"Not much boiling down to be done to-night, Memory," said Mr. Stryver, +gaily, as he looked among his papers. + +"How much?" + +"Only two sets of them." + +"Give me the worst first." + +"There they are, Sydney. Fire away!" + +The lion then composed himself on his back on a sofa on one side of the +drinking-table, while the jackal sat at his own paper-bestrewn table +proper, on the other side of it, with the bottles and glasses ready to +his hand. Both resorted to the drinking-table without stint, but each in +a different way; the lion for the most part reclining with his hands in +his waistband, looking at the fire, or occasionally flirting with some +lighter document; the jackal, with knitted brows and intent face, +so deep in his task, that his eyes did not even follow the hand he +stretched out for his glass--which often groped about, for a minute or +more, before it found the glass for his lips. Two or three times, the +matter in hand became so knotty, that the jackal found it imperative on +him to get up, and steep his towels anew. From these pilgrimages to the +jug and basin, he returned with such eccentricities of damp headgear as +no words can describe; which were made the more ludicrous by his anxious +gravity. + +At length the jackal had got together a compact repast for the lion, and +proceeded to offer it to him. The lion took it with care and caution, +made his selections from it, and his remarks upon it, and the jackal +assisted both. When the repast was fully discussed, the lion put his +hands in his waistband again, and lay down to meditate. The jackal then +invigorated himself with a bumper for his throttle, and a fresh application +to his head, and applied himself to the collection of a second meal; +this was administered to the lion in the same manner, and was not +disposed of until the clocks struck three in the morning. + +"And now we have done, Sydney, fill a bumper of punch," said Mr. +Stryver. + +The jackal removed the towels from his head, which had been steaming +again, shook himself, yawned, shivered, and complied. + +"You were very sound, Sydney, in the matter of those crown witnesses +to-day. Every question told." + +"I always am sound; am I not?" + +"I don't gainsay it. What has roughened your temper? Put some punch to +it and smooth it again." + +With a deprecatory grunt, the jackal again complied. + +"The old Sydney Carton of old Shrewsbury School," said Stryver, nodding +his head over him as he reviewed him in the present and the past, "the +old seesaw Sydney. Up one minute and down the next; now in spirits and +now in despondency!" + +"Ah!" returned the other, sighing: "yes! The same Sydney, with the same +luck. Even then, I did exercises for other boys, and seldom did my own." + +"And why not?" + +"God knows. It was my way, I suppose." + +He sat, with his hands in his pockets and his legs stretched out before +him, looking at the fire. + +"Carton," said his friend, squaring himself at him with a bullying air, +as if the fire-grate had been the furnace in which sustained endeavour +was forged, and the one delicate thing to be done for the old Sydney +Carton of old Shrewsbury School was to shoulder him into it, "your way +is, and always was, a lame way. You summon no energy and purpose. Look +at me." + +"Oh, botheration!" returned Sydney, with a lighter and more +good-humoured laugh, "don't _you_ be moral!" + +"How have I done what I have done?" said Stryver; "how do I do what I +do?" + +"Partly through paying me to help you, I suppose. But it's not worth +your while to apostrophise me, or the air, about it; what you want to +do, you do. You were always in the front rank, and I was always behind." + +"I had to get into the front rank; I was not born there, was I?" + +"I was not present at the ceremony; but my opinion is you were," said +Carton. At this, he laughed again, and they both laughed. + +"Before Shrewsbury, and at Shrewsbury, and ever since Shrewsbury," +pursued Carton, "you have fallen into your rank, and I have fallen into +mine. Even when we were fellow-students in the Student-Quarter of Paris, +picking up French, and French law, and other French crumbs that we +didn't get much good of, you were always somewhere, and I was always +nowhere." + +"And whose fault was that?" + +"Upon my soul, I am not sure that it was not yours. You were always +driving and riving and shouldering and passing, to that restless degree +that I had no chance for my life but in rust and repose. It's a gloomy +thing, however, to talk about one's own past, with the day breaking. +Turn me in some other direction before I go." + +"Well then! Pledge me to the pretty witness," said Stryver, holding up +his glass. "Are you turned in a pleasant direction?" + +Apparently not, for he became gloomy again. + +"Pretty witness," he muttered, looking down into his glass. "I have had +enough of witnesses to-day and to-night; who's your pretty witness?" + +"The picturesque doctor's daughter, Miss Manette." + +"_She_ pretty?" + +"Is she not?" + +"No." + +"Why, man alive, she was the admiration of the whole Court!" + +"Rot the admiration of the whole Court! Who made the Old Bailey a judge +of beauty? She was a golden-haired doll!" + +"Do you know, Sydney," said Mr. Stryver, looking at him with sharp eyes, +and slowly drawing a hand across his florid face: "do you know, I rather +thought, at the time, that you sympathised with the golden-haired doll, +and were quick to see what happened to the golden-haired doll?" + +"Quick to see what happened! If a girl, doll or no doll, swoons within a +yard or two of a man's nose, he can see it without a perspective-glass. +I pledge you, but I deny the beauty. And now I'll have no more drink; +I'll get to bed." + +When his host followed him out on the staircase with a candle, to light +him down the stairs, the day was coldly looking in through its grimy +windows. When he got out of the house, the air was cold and sad, the +dull sky overcast, the river dark and dim, the whole scene like a +lifeless desert. And wreaths of dust were spinning round and round +before the morning blast, as if the desert-sand had risen far away, and +the first spray of it in its advance had begun to overwhelm the city. + +Waste forces within him, and a desert all around, this man stood still +on his way across a silent terrace, and saw for a moment, lying in the +wilderness before him, a mirage of honourable ambition, self-denial, and +perseverance. In the fair city of this vision, there were airy galleries +from which the loves and graces looked upon him, gardens in which the +fruits of life hung ripening, waters of Hope that sparkled in his sight. +A moment, and it was gone. Climbing to a high chamber in a well of +houses, he threw himself down in his clothes on a neglected bed, and its +pillow was wet with wasted tears. + +Sadly, sadly, the sun rose; it rose upon no sadder sight than the man of +good abilities and good emotions, incapable of their directed exercise, +incapable of his own help and his own happiness, sensible of the blight +on him, and resigning himself to let it eat him away. + + + + +VI. Hundreds of People + + +The quiet lodgings of Doctor Manette were in a quiet street-corner not +far from Soho-square. On the afternoon of a certain fine Sunday when the +waves of four months had rolled over the trial for treason, and carried +it, as to the public interest and memory, far out to sea, Mr. Jarvis +Lorry walked along the sunny streets from Clerkenwell where he lived, +on his way to dine with the Doctor. After several relapses into +business-absorption, Mr. Lorry had become the Doctor's friend, and the +quiet street-corner was the sunny part of his life. + +On this certain fine Sunday, Mr. Lorry walked towards Soho, early in +the afternoon, for three reasons of habit. Firstly, because, on fine +Sundays, he often walked out, before dinner, with the Doctor and Lucie; +secondly, because, on unfavourable Sundays, he was accustomed to be with +them as the family friend, talking, reading, looking out of window, and +generally getting through the day; thirdly, because he happened to have +his own little shrewd doubts to solve, and knew how the ways of the +Doctor's household pointed to that time as a likely time for solving +them. + +A quainter corner than the corner where the Doctor lived, was not to be +found in London. There was no way through it, and the front windows of +the Doctor's lodgings commanded a pleasant little vista of street that +had a congenial air of retirement on it. There were few buildings then, +north of the Oxford-road, and forest-trees flourished, and wild flowers +grew, and the hawthorn blossomed, in the now vanished fields. As a +consequence, country airs circulated in Soho with vigorous freedom, +instead of languishing into the parish like stray paupers without a +settlement; and there was many a good south wall, not far off, on which +the peaches ripened in their season. + +The summer light struck into the corner brilliantly in the earlier part +of the day; but, when the streets grew hot, the corner was in shadow, +though not in shadow so remote but that you could see beyond it into a +glare of brightness. It was a cool spot, staid but cheerful, a wonderful +place for echoes, and a very harbour from the raging streets. + +There ought to have been a tranquil bark in such an anchorage, and +there was. The Doctor occupied two floors of a large stiff house, where +several callings purported to be pursued by day, but whereof little was +audible any day, and which was shunned by all of them at night. In +a building at the back, attainable by a courtyard where a plane-tree +rustled its green leaves, church-organs claimed to be made, and silver +to be chased, and likewise gold to be beaten by some mysterious giant +who had a golden arm starting out of the wall of the front hall--as if +he had beaten himself precious, and menaced a similar conversion of all +visitors. Very little of these trades, or of a lonely lodger rumoured +to live up-stairs, or of a dim coach-trimming maker asserted to have +a counting-house below, was ever heard or seen. Occasionally, a stray +workman putting his coat on, traversed the hall, or a stranger peered +about there, or a distant clink was heard across the courtyard, or a +thump from the golden giant. These, however, were only the exceptions +required to prove the rule that the sparrows in the plane-tree behind +the house, and the echoes in the corner before it, had their own way +from Sunday morning unto Saturday night. + +Doctor Manette received such patients here as his old reputation, and +its revival in the floating whispers of his story, brought him. +His scientific knowledge, and his vigilance and skill in conducting +ingenious experiments, brought him otherwise into moderate request, and +he earned as much as he wanted. + +These things were within Mr. Jarvis Lorry's knowledge, thoughts, and +notice, when he rang the door-bell of the tranquil house in the corner, +on the fine Sunday afternoon. + +"Doctor Manette at home?" + +Expected home. + +"Miss Lucie at home?" + +Expected home. + +"Miss Pross at home?" + +Possibly at home, but of a certainty impossible for handmaid to +anticipate intentions of Miss Pross, as to admission or denial of the +fact. + +"As I am at home myself," said Mr. Lorry, "I'll go upstairs." + +Although the Doctor's daughter had known nothing of the country of her +birth, she appeared to have innately derived from it that ability to +make much of little means, which is one of its most useful and most +agreeable characteristics. Simple as the furniture was, it was set off +by so many little adornments, of no value but for their taste and fancy, +that its effect was delightful. The disposition of everything in the +rooms, from the largest object to the least; the arrangement of colours, +the elegant variety and contrast obtained by thrift in trifles, by +delicate hands, clear eyes, and good sense; were at once so pleasant in +themselves, and so expressive of their originator, that, as Mr. Lorry +stood looking about him, the very chairs and tables seemed to ask him, +with something of that peculiar expression which he knew so well by this +time, whether he approved? + +There were three rooms on a floor, and, the doors by which they +communicated being put open that the air might pass freely through them +all, Mr. Lorry, smilingly observant of that fanciful resemblance which +he detected all around him, walked from one to another. The first was +the best room, and in it were Lucie's birds, and flowers, and books, +and desk, and work-table, and box of water-colours; the second was +the Doctor's consulting-room, used also as the dining-room; the third, +changingly speckled by the rustle of the plane-tree in the yard, was the +Doctor's bedroom, and there, in a corner, stood the disused shoemaker's +bench and tray of tools, much as it had stood on the fifth floor of the +dismal house by the wine-shop, in the suburb of Saint Antoine in Paris. + +"I wonder," said Mr. Lorry, pausing in his looking about, "that he keeps +that reminder of his sufferings about him!" + +"And why wonder at that?" was the abrupt inquiry that made him start. + +It proceeded from Miss Pross, the wild red woman, strong of hand, whose +acquaintance he had first made at the Royal George Hotel at Dover, and +had since improved. + +"I should have thought--" Mr. Lorry began. + +"Pooh! You'd have thought!" said Miss Pross; and Mr. Lorry left off. + +"How do you do?" inquired that lady then--sharply, and yet as if to +express that she bore him no malice. + +"I am pretty well, I thank you," answered Mr. Lorry, with meekness; "how +are you?" + +"Nothing to boast of," said Miss Pross. + +"Indeed?" + +"Ah! indeed!" said Miss Pross. "I am very much put out about my +Ladybird." + +"Indeed?" + +"For gracious sake say something else besides 'indeed,' or you'll +fidget me to death," said Miss Pross: whose character (dissociated from +stature) was shortness. + +"Really, then?" said Mr. Lorry, as an amendment. + +"Really, is bad enough," returned Miss Pross, "but better. Yes, I am +very much put out." + +"May I ask the cause?" + +"I don't want dozens of people who are not at all worthy of Ladybird, to +come here looking after her," said Miss Pross. + +"_Do_ dozens come for that purpose?" + +"Hundreds," said Miss Pross. + +It was characteristic of this lady (as of some other people before her +time and since) that whenever her original proposition was questioned, +she exaggerated it. + +"Dear me!" said Mr. Lorry, as the safest remark he could think of. + +"I have lived with the darling--or the darling has lived with me, and +paid me for it; which she certainly should never have done, you may take +your affidavit, if I could have afforded to keep either myself or her +for nothing--since she was ten years old. And it's really very hard," +said Miss Pross. + +Not seeing with precision what was very hard, Mr. Lorry shook his head; +using that important part of himself as a sort of fairy cloak that would +fit anything. + +"All sorts of people who are not in the least degree worthy of the pet, +are always turning up," said Miss Pross. "When you began it--" + +"_I_ began it, Miss Pross?" + +"Didn't you? Who brought her father to life?" + +"Oh! If _that_ was beginning it--" said Mr. Lorry. + +"It wasn't ending it, I suppose? I say, when you began it, it was hard +enough; not that I have any fault to find with Doctor Manette, except +that he is not worthy of such a daughter, which is no imputation on +him, for it was not to be expected that anybody should be, under any +circumstances. But it really is doubly and trebly hard to have crowds +and multitudes of people turning up after him (I could have forgiven +him), to take Ladybird's affections away from me." + +Mr. Lorry knew Miss Pross to be very jealous, but he also knew her by +this time to be, beneath the service of her eccentricity, one of those +unselfish creatures--found only among women--who will, for pure love and +admiration, bind themselves willing slaves, to youth when they have lost +it, to beauty that they never had, to accomplishments that they were +never fortunate enough to gain, to bright hopes that never shone upon +their own sombre lives. He knew enough of the world to know that there +is nothing in it better than the faithful service of the heart; so +rendered and so free from any mercenary taint, he had such an exalted +respect for it, that in the retributive arrangements made by his own +mind--we all make such arrangements, more or less--he stationed Miss +Pross much nearer to the lower Angels than many ladies immeasurably +better got up both by Nature and Art, who had balances at Tellson's. + +"There never was, nor will be, but one man worthy of Ladybird," said +Miss Pross; "and that was my brother Solomon, if he hadn't made a +mistake in life." + +Here again: Mr. Lorry's inquiries into Miss Pross's personal history had +established the fact that her brother Solomon was a heartless scoundrel +who had stripped her of everything she possessed, as a stake to +speculate with, and had abandoned her in her poverty for evermore, with +no touch of compunction. Miss Pross's fidelity of belief in Solomon +(deducting a mere trifle for this slight mistake) was quite a serious +matter with Mr. Lorry, and had its weight in his good opinion of her. + +"As we happen to be alone for the moment, and are both people of +business," he said, when they had got back to the drawing-room and had +sat down there in friendly relations, "let me ask you--does the Doctor, +in talking with Lucie, never refer to the shoemaking time, yet?" + +"Never." + +"And yet keeps that bench and those tools beside him?" + +"Ah!" returned Miss Pross, shaking her head. "But I don't say he don't +refer to it within himself." + +"Do you believe that he thinks of it much?" + +"I do," said Miss Pross. + +"Do you imagine--" Mr. Lorry had begun, when Miss Pross took him up +short with: + +"Never imagine anything. Have no imagination at all." + +"I stand corrected; do you suppose--you go so far as to suppose, +sometimes?" + +"Now and then," said Miss Pross. + +"Do you suppose," Mr. Lorry went on, with a laughing twinkle in his +bright eye, as it looked kindly at her, "that Doctor Manette has any +theory of his own, preserved through all those years, relative to +the cause of his being so oppressed; perhaps, even to the name of his +oppressor?" + +"I don't suppose anything about it but what Ladybird tells me." + +"And that is--?" + +"That she thinks he has." + +"Now don't be angry at my asking all these questions; because I am a +mere dull man of business, and you are a woman of business." + +"Dull?" Miss Pross inquired, with placidity. + +Rather wishing his modest adjective away, Mr. Lorry replied, "No, no, +no. Surely not. To return to business:--Is it not remarkable that Doctor +Manette, unquestionably innocent of any crime as we are all well assured +he is, should never touch upon that question? I will not say with me, +though he had business relations with me many years ago, and we are now +intimate; I will say with the fair daughter to whom he is so devotedly +attached, and who is so devotedly attached to him? Believe me, Miss +Pross, I don't approach the topic with you, out of curiosity, but out of +zealous interest." + +"Well! To the best of my understanding, and bad's the best, you'll tell +me," said Miss Pross, softened by the tone of the apology, "he is afraid +of the whole subject." + +"Afraid?" + +"It's plain enough, I should think, why he may be. It's a dreadful +remembrance. Besides that, his loss of himself grew out of it. Not +knowing how he lost himself, or how he recovered himself, he may never +feel certain of not losing himself again. That alone wouldn't make the +subject pleasant, I should think." + +It was a profounder remark than Mr. Lorry had looked for. "True," said +he, "and fearful to reflect upon. Yet, a doubt lurks in my mind, Miss +Pross, whether it is good for Doctor Manette to have that suppression +always shut up within him. Indeed, it is this doubt and the uneasiness +it sometimes causes me that has led me to our present confidence." + +"Can't be helped," said Miss Pross, shaking her head. "Touch that +string, and he instantly changes for the worse. Better leave it alone. +In short, must leave it alone, like or no like. Sometimes, he gets up in +the dead of the night, and will be heard, by us overhead there, walking +up and down, walking up and down, in his room. Ladybird has learnt to +know then that his mind is walking up and down, walking up and down, in +his old prison. She hurries to him, and they go on together, walking up +and down, walking up and down, until he is composed. But he never says +a word of the true reason of his restlessness, to her, and she finds it +best not to hint at it to him. In silence they go walking up and down +together, walking up and down together, till her love and company have +brought him to himself." + +Notwithstanding Miss Pross's denial of her own imagination, there was a +perception of the pain of being monotonously haunted by one sad idea, +in her repetition of the phrase, walking up and down, which testified to +her possessing such a thing. + +The corner has been mentioned as a wonderful corner for echoes; it +had begun to echo so resoundingly to the tread of coming feet, that it +seemed as though the very mention of that weary pacing to and fro had +set it going. + +"Here they are!" said Miss Pross, rising to break up the conference; +"and now we shall have hundreds of people pretty soon!" + +It was such a curious corner in its acoustical properties, such a +peculiar Ear of a place, that as Mr. Lorry stood at the open window, +looking for the father and daughter whose steps he heard, he fancied +they would never approach. Not only would the echoes die away, as though +the steps had gone; but, echoes of other steps that never came would be +heard in their stead, and would die away for good when they seemed close +at hand. However, father and daughter did at last appear, and Miss Pross +was ready at the street door to receive them. + +Miss Pross was a pleasant sight, albeit wild, and red, and grim, taking +off her darling's bonnet when she came up-stairs, and touching it up +with the ends of her handkerchief, and blowing the dust off it, and +folding her mantle ready for laying by, and smoothing her rich hair with +as much pride as she could possibly have taken in her own hair if she +had been the vainest and handsomest of women. Her darling was a pleasant +sight too, embracing her and thanking her, and protesting against +her taking so much trouble for her--which last she only dared to do +playfully, or Miss Pross, sorely hurt, would have retired to her own +chamber and cried. The Doctor was a pleasant sight too, looking on at +them, and telling Miss Pross how she spoilt Lucie, in accents and with +eyes that had as much spoiling in them as Miss Pross had, and would +have had more if it were possible. Mr. Lorry was a pleasant sight too, +beaming at all this in his little wig, and thanking his bachelor +stars for having lighted him in his declining years to a Home. But, no +Hundreds of people came to see the sights, and Mr. Lorry looked in vain +for the fulfilment of Miss Pross's prediction. + +Dinner-time, and still no Hundreds of people. In the arrangements of +the little household, Miss Pross took charge of the lower regions, and +always acquitted herself marvellously. Her dinners, of a very modest +quality, were so well cooked and so well served, and so neat in their +contrivances, half English and half French, that nothing could be +better. Miss Pross's friendship being of the thoroughly practical +kind, she had ravaged Soho and the adjacent provinces, in search of +impoverished French, who, tempted by shillings and half-crowns, would +impart culinary mysteries to her. From these decayed sons and daughters +of Gaul, she had acquired such wonderful arts, that the woman and girl +who formed the staff of domestics regarded her as quite a Sorceress, +or Cinderella's Godmother: who would send out for a fowl, a rabbit, +a vegetable or two from the garden, and change them into anything she +pleased. + +On Sundays, Miss Pross dined at the Doctor's table, but on other days +persisted in taking her meals at unknown periods, either in the lower +regions, or in her own room on the second floor--a blue chamber, to +which no one but her Ladybird ever gained admittance. On this occasion, +Miss Pross, responding to Ladybird's pleasant face and pleasant efforts +to please her, unbent exceedingly; so the dinner was very pleasant, too. + +It was an oppressive day, and, after dinner, Lucie proposed that the +wine should be carried out under the plane-tree, and they should sit +there in the air. As everything turned upon her, and revolved about her, +they went out under the plane-tree, and she carried the wine down for +the special benefit of Mr. Lorry. She had installed herself, some +time before, as Mr. Lorry's cup-bearer; and while they sat under the +plane-tree, talking, she kept his glass replenished. Mysterious backs +and ends of houses peeped at them as they talked, and the plane-tree +whispered to them in its own way above their heads. + +Still, the Hundreds of people did not present themselves. Mr. Darnay +presented himself while they were sitting under the plane-tree, but he +was only One. + +Doctor Manette received him kindly, and so did Lucie. But, Miss Pross +suddenly became afflicted with a twitching in the head and body, and +retired into the house. She was not unfrequently the victim of this +disorder, and she called it, in familiar conversation, "a fit of the +jerks." + +The Doctor was in his best condition, and looked specially young. The +resemblance between him and Lucie was very strong at such times, and as +they sat side by side, she leaning on his shoulder, and he resting +his arm on the back of her chair, it was very agreeable to trace the +likeness. + +He had been talking all day, on many subjects, and with unusual +vivacity. "Pray, Doctor Manette," said Mr. Darnay, as they sat under the +plane-tree--and he said it in the natural pursuit of the topic in hand, +which happened to be the old buildings of London--"have you seen much of +the Tower?" + +"Lucie and I have been there; but only casually. We have seen enough of +it, to know that it teems with interest; little more." + +"_I_ have been there, as you remember," said Darnay, with a smile, +though reddening a little angrily, "in another character, and not in a +character that gives facilities for seeing much of it. They told me a +curious thing when I was there." + +"What was that?" Lucie asked. + +"In making some alterations, the workmen came upon an old dungeon, which +had been, for many years, built up and forgotten. Every stone of +its inner wall was covered by inscriptions which had been carved by +prisoners--dates, names, complaints, and prayers. Upon a corner stone +in an angle of the wall, one prisoner, who seemed to have gone to +execution, had cut as his last work, three letters. They were done with +some very poor instrument, and hurriedly, with an unsteady hand. +At first, they were read as D. I. C.; but, on being more carefully +examined, the last letter was found to be G. There was no record or +legend of any prisoner with those initials, and many fruitless guesses +were made what the name could have been. At length, it was suggested +that the letters were not initials, but the complete word, DIG. The +floor was examined very carefully under the inscription, and, in the +earth beneath a stone, or tile, or some fragment of paving, were found +the ashes of a paper, mingled with the ashes of a small leathern case +or bag. What the unknown prisoner had written will never be read, but he +had written something, and hidden it away to keep it from the gaoler." + +"My father," exclaimed Lucie, "you are ill!" + +He had suddenly started up, with his hand to his head. His manner and +his look quite terrified them all. + +"No, my dear, not ill. There are large drops of rain falling, and they +made me start. We had better go in." + +He recovered himself almost instantly. Rain was really falling in large +drops, and he showed the back of his hand with rain-drops on it. But, he +said not a single word in reference to the discovery that had been told +of, and, as they went into the house, the business eye of Mr. Lorry +either detected, or fancied it detected, on his face, as it turned +towards Charles Darnay, the same singular look that had been upon it +when it turned towards him in the passages of the Court House. + +He recovered himself so quickly, however, that Mr. Lorry had doubts of +his business eye. The arm of the golden giant in the hall was not more +steady than he was, when he stopped under it to remark to them that he +was not yet proof against slight surprises (if he ever would be), and +that the rain had startled him. + +Tea-time, and Miss Pross making tea, with another fit of the jerks upon +her, and yet no Hundreds of people. Mr. Carton had lounged in, but he +made only Two. + +The night was so very sultry, that although they sat with doors and +windows open, they were overpowered by heat. When the tea-table was +done with, they all moved to one of the windows, and looked out into the +heavy twilight. Lucie sat by her father; Darnay sat beside her; Carton +leaned against a window. The curtains were long and white, and some of +the thunder-gusts that whirled into the corner, caught them up to the +ceiling, and waved them like spectral wings. + +"The rain-drops are still falling, large, heavy, and few," said Doctor +Manette. "It comes slowly." + +"It comes surely," said Carton. + +They spoke low, as people watching and waiting mostly do; as people in a +dark room, watching and waiting for Lightning, always do. + +There was a great hurry in the streets of people speeding away to +get shelter before the storm broke; the wonderful corner for echoes +resounded with the echoes of footsteps coming and going, yet not a +footstep was there. + +"A multitude of people, and yet a solitude!" said Darnay, when they had +listened for a while. + +"Is it not impressive, Mr. Darnay?" asked Lucie. "Sometimes, I have +sat here of an evening, until I have fancied--but even the shade of +a foolish fancy makes me shudder to-night, when all is so black and +solemn--" + +"Let us shudder too. We may know what it is." + +"It will seem nothing to you. Such whims are only impressive as we +originate them, I think; they are not to be communicated. I have +sometimes sat alone here of an evening, listening, until I have made +the echoes out to be the echoes of all the footsteps that are coming +by-and-bye into our lives." + +"There is a great crowd coming one day into our lives, if that be so," +Sydney Carton struck in, in his moody way. + +The footsteps were incessant, and the hurry of them became more and more +rapid. The corner echoed and re-echoed with the tread of feet; some, +as it seemed, under the windows; some, as it seemed, in the room; some +coming, some going, some breaking off, some stopping altogether; all in +the distant streets, and not one within sight. + +"Are all these footsteps destined to come to all of us, Miss Manette, or +are we to divide them among us?" + +"I don't know, Mr. Darnay; I told you it was a foolish fancy, but you +asked for it. When I have yielded myself to it, I have been alone, and +then I have imagined them the footsteps of the people who are to come +into my life, and my father's." + +"I take them into mine!" said Carton. "_I_ ask no questions and make no +stipulations. There is a great crowd bearing down upon us, Miss Manette, +and I see them--by the Lightning." He added the last words, after there +had been a vivid flash which had shown him lounging in the window. + +"And I hear them!" he added again, after a peal of thunder. "Here they +come, fast, fierce, and furious!" + +It was the rush and roar of rain that he typified, and it stopped him, +for no voice could be heard in it. A memorable storm of thunder and +lightning broke with that sweep of water, and there was not a moment's +interval in crash, and fire, and rain, until after the moon rose at +midnight. + +The great bell of Saint Paul's was striking one in the cleared air, when +Mr. Lorry, escorted by Jerry, high-booted and bearing a lantern, set +forth on his return-passage to Clerkenwell. There were solitary patches +of road on the way between Soho and Clerkenwell, and Mr. Lorry, mindful +of foot-pads, always retained Jerry for this service: though it was +usually performed a good two hours earlier. + +"What a night it has been! Almost a night, Jerry," said Mr. Lorry, "to +bring the dead out of their graves." + +"I never see the night myself, master--nor yet I don't expect to--what +would do that," answered Jerry. + +"Good night, Mr. Carton," said the man of business. "Good night, Mr. +Darnay. Shall we ever see such a night again, together!" + +Perhaps. Perhaps, see the great crowd of people with its rush and roar, +bearing down upon them, too. + + + + +VII. Monseigneur in Town + + +Monseigneur, one of the great lords in power at the Court, held his +fortnightly reception in his grand hotel in Paris. Monseigneur was in +his inner room, his sanctuary of sanctuaries, the Holiest of Holiests to +the crowd of worshippers in the suite of rooms without. Monseigneur +was about to take his chocolate. Monseigneur could swallow a great many +things with ease, and was by some few sullen minds supposed to be rather +rapidly swallowing France; but, his morning's chocolate could not so +much as get into the throat of Monseigneur, without the aid of four +strong men besides the Cook. + +Yes. It took four men, all four ablaze with gorgeous decoration, and the +Chief of them unable to exist with fewer than two gold watches in his +pocket, emulative of the noble and chaste fashion set by Monseigneur, to +conduct the happy chocolate to Monseigneur's lips. One lacquey carried +the chocolate-pot into the sacred presence; a second, milled and frothed +the chocolate with the little instrument he bore for that function; +a third, presented the favoured napkin; a fourth (he of the two gold +watches), poured the chocolate out. It was impossible for Monseigneur to +dispense with one of these attendants on the chocolate and hold his high +place under the admiring Heavens. Deep would have been the blot upon +his escutcheon if his chocolate had been ignobly waited on by only three +men; he must have died of two. + +Monseigneur had been out at a little supper last night, where the Comedy +and the Grand Opera were charmingly represented. Monseigneur was out at +a little supper most nights, with fascinating company. So polite and so +impressible was Monseigneur, that the Comedy and the Grand Opera had far +more influence with him in the tiresome articles of state affairs and +state secrets, than the needs of all France. A happy circumstance +for France, as the like always is for all countries similarly +favoured!--always was for England (by way of example), in the regretted +days of the merry Stuart who sold it. + +Monseigneur had one truly noble idea of general public business, which +was, to let everything go on in its own way; of particular public +business, Monseigneur had the other truly noble idea that it must all go +his way--tend to his own power and pocket. Of his pleasures, general and +particular, Monseigneur had the other truly noble idea, that the world +was made for them. The text of his order (altered from the original +by only a pronoun, which is not much) ran: "The earth and the fulness +thereof are mine, saith Monseigneur." + +Yet, Monseigneur had slowly found that vulgar embarrassments crept into +his affairs, both private and public; and he had, as to both classes of +affairs, allied himself perforce with a Farmer-General. As to finances +public, because Monseigneur could not make anything at all of them, and +must consequently let them out to somebody who could; as to finances +private, because Farmer-Generals were rich, and Monseigneur, after +generations of great luxury and expense, was growing poor. Hence +Monseigneur had taken his sister from a convent, while there was yet +time to ward off the impending veil, the cheapest garment she could +wear, and had bestowed her as a prize upon a very rich Farmer-General, +poor in family. Which Farmer-General, carrying an appropriate cane with +a golden apple on the top of it, was now among the company in the outer +rooms, much prostrated before by mankind--always excepting superior +mankind of the blood of Monseigneur, who, his own wife included, looked +down upon him with the loftiest contempt. + +A sumptuous man was the Farmer-General. Thirty horses stood in his +stables, twenty-four male domestics sat in his halls, six body-women +waited on his wife. As one who pretended to do nothing but plunder and +forage where he could, the Farmer-General--howsoever his matrimonial +relations conduced to social morality--was at least the greatest reality +among the personages who attended at the hotel of Monseigneur that day. + +For, the rooms, though a beautiful scene to look at, and adorned with +every device of decoration that the taste and skill of the time could +achieve, were, in truth, not a sound business; considered with any +reference to the scarecrows in the rags and nightcaps elsewhere (and not +so far off, either, but that the watching towers of Notre Dame, almost +equidistant from the two extremes, could see them both), they would +have been an exceedingly uncomfortable business--if that could have +been anybody's business, at the house of Monseigneur. Military officers +destitute of military knowledge; naval officers with no idea of a ship; +civil officers without a notion of affairs; brazen ecclesiastics, of the +worst world worldly, with sensual eyes, loose tongues, and looser lives; +all totally unfit for their several callings, all lying horribly in +pretending to belong to them, but all nearly or remotely of the order of +Monseigneur, and therefore foisted on all public employments from which +anything was to be got; these were to be told off by the score and the +score. People not immediately connected with Monseigneur or the State, +yet equally unconnected with anything that was real, or with lives +passed in travelling by any straight road to any true earthly end, were +no less abundant. Doctors who made great fortunes out of dainty remedies +for imaginary disorders that never existed, smiled upon their courtly +patients in the ante-chambers of Monseigneur. Projectors who had +discovered every kind of remedy for the little evils with which the +State was touched, except the remedy of setting to work in earnest to +root out a single sin, poured their distracting babble into any ears +they could lay hold of, at the reception of Monseigneur. Unbelieving +Philosophers who were remodelling the world with words, and making +card-towers of Babel to scale the skies with, talked with Unbelieving +Chemists who had an eye on the transmutation of metals, at this +wonderful gathering accumulated by Monseigneur. Exquisite gentlemen of +the finest breeding, which was at that remarkable time--and has been +since--to be known by its fruits of indifference to every natural +subject of human interest, were in the most exemplary state of +exhaustion, at the hotel of Monseigneur. Such homes had these various +notabilities left behind them in the fine world of Paris, that the spies +among the assembled devotees of Monseigneur--forming a goodly half +of the polite company--would have found it hard to discover among +the angels of that sphere one solitary wife, who, in her manners and +appearance, owned to being a Mother. Indeed, except for the mere act of +bringing a troublesome creature into this world--which does not go far +towards the realisation of the name of mother--there was no such thing +known to the fashion. Peasant women kept the unfashionable babies close, +and brought them up, and charming grandmammas of sixty dressed and +supped as at twenty. + +The leprosy of unreality disfigured every human creature in attendance +upon Monseigneur. In the outermost room were half a dozen exceptional +people who had had, for a few years, some vague misgiving in them that +things in general were going rather wrong. As a promising way of setting +them right, half of the half-dozen had become members of a fantastic +sect of Convulsionists, and were even then considering within themselves +whether they should foam, rage, roar, and turn cataleptic on the +spot--thereby setting up a highly intelligible finger-post to the +Future, for Monseigneur's guidance. Besides these Dervishes, were other +three who had rushed into another sect, which mended matters with a +jargon about "the Centre of Truth:" holding that Man had got out of the +Centre of Truth--which did not need much demonstration--but had not got +out of the Circumference, and that he was to be kept from flying out of +the Circumference, and was even to be shoved back into the Centre, +by fasting and seeing of spirits. Among these, accordingly, much +discoursing with spirits went on--and it did a world of good which never +became manifest. + +But, the comfort was, that all the company at the grand hotel of +Monseigneur were perfectly dressed. If the Day of Judgment had only been +ascertained to be a dress day, everybody there would have been eternally +correct. Such frizzling and powdering and sticking up of hair, such +delicate complexions artificially preserved and mended, such gallant +swords to look at, and such delicate honour to the sense of smell, would +surely keep anything going, for ever and ever. The exquisite gentlemen +of the finest breeding wore little pendent trinkets that chinked as they +languidly moved; these golden fetters rang like precious little bells; +and what with that ringing, and with the rustle of silk and brocade and +fine linen, there was a flutter in the air that fanned Saint Antoine and +his devouring hunger far away. + +Dress was the one unfailing talisman and charm used for keeping all +things in their places. Everybody was dressed for a Fancy Ball that +was never to leave off. From the Palace of the Tuileries, through +Monseigneur and the whole Court, through the Chambers, the Tribunals +of Justice, and all society (except the scarecrows), the Fancy Ball +descended to the Common Executioner: who, in pursuance of the charm, was +required to officiate "frizzled, powdered, in a gold-laced coat, pumps, +and white silk stockings." At the gallows and the wheel--the axe was a +rarity--Monsieur Paris, as it was the episcopal mode among his brother +Professors of the provinces, Monsieur Orleans, and the rest, to call +him, presided in this dainty dress. And who among the company at +Monseigneur's reception in that seventeen hundred and eightieth year +of our Lord, could possibly doubt, that a system rooted in a frizzled +hangman, powdered, gold-laced, pumped, and white-silk stockinged, would +see the very stars out! + +Monseigneur having eased his four men of their burdens and taken his +chocolate, caused the doors of the Holiest of Holiests to be thrown +open, and issued forth. Then, what submission, what cringing and +fawning, what servility, what abject humiliation! As to bowing down in +body and spirit, nothing in that way was left for Heaven--which may have +been one among other reasons why the worshippers of Monseigneur never +troubled it. + +Bestowing a word of promise here and a smile there, a whisper on one +happy slave and a wave of the hand on another, Monseigneur affably +passed through his rooms to the remote region of the Circumference of +Truth. There, Monseigneur turned, and came back again, and so in due +course of time got himself shut up in his sanctuary by the chocolate +sprites, and was seen no more. + +The show being over, the flutter in the air became quite a little storm, +and the precious little bells went ringing downstairs. There was soon +but one person left of all the crowd, and he, with his hat under his arm +and his snuff-box in his hand, slowly passed among the mirrors on his +way out. + +"I devote you," said this person, stopping at the last door on his way, +and turning in the direction of the sanctuary, "to the Devil!" + +With that, he shook the snuff from his fingers as if he had shaken the +dust from his feet, and quietly walked downstairs. + +He was a man of about sixty, handsomely dressed, haughty in manner, and +with a face like a fine mask. A face of a transparent paleness; every +feature in it clearly defined; one set expression on it. The nose, +beautifully formed otherwise, was very slightly pinched at the top +of each nostril. In those two compressions, or dints, the only little +change that the face ever showed, resided. They persisted in changing +colour sometimes, and they would be occasionally dilated and contracted +by something like a faint pulsation; then, they gave a look of +treachery, and cruelty, to the whole countenance. Examined with +attention, its capacity of helping such a look was to be found in the +line of the mouth, and the lines of the orbits of the eyes, being much +too horizontal and thin; still, in the effect of the face made, it was a +handsome face, and a remarkable one. + +Its owner went downstairs into the courtyard, got into his carriage, and +drove away. Not many people had talked with him at the reception; he had +stood in a little space apart, and Monseigneur might have been warmer +in his manner. It appeared, under the circumstances, rather agreeable +to him to see the common people dispersed before his horses, and +often barely escaping from being run down. His man drove as if he were +charging an enemy, and the furious recklessness of the man brought no +check into the face, or to the lips, of the master. The complaint had +sometimes made itself audible, even in that deaf city and dumb age, +that, in the narrow streets without footways, the fierce patrician +custom of hard driving endangered and maimed the mere vulgar in a +barbarous manner. But, few cared enough for that to think of it a second +time, and, in this matter, as in all others, the common wretches were +left to get out of their difficulties as they could. + +With a wild rattle and clatter, and an inhuman abandonment of +consideration not easy to be understood in these days, the carriage +dashed through streets and swept round corners, with women screaming +before it, and men clutching each other and clutching children out of +its way. At last, swooping at a street corner by a fountain, one of its +wheels came to a sickening little jolt, and there was a loud cry from a +number of voices, and the horses reared and plunged. + +But for the latter inconvenience, the carriage probably would not have +stopped; carriages were often known to drive on, and leave their wounded +behind, and why not? But the frightened valet had got down in a hurry, +and there were twenty hands at the horses' bridles. + +"What has gone wrong?" said Monsieur, calmly looking out. + +A tall man in a nightcap had caught up a bundle from among the feet of +the horses, and had laid it on the basement of the fountain, and was +down in the mud and wet, howling over it like a wild animal. + +"Pardon, Monsieur the Marquis!" said a ragged and submissive man, "it is +a child." + +"Why does he make that abominable noise? Is it his child?" + +"Excuse me, Monsieur the Marquis--it is a pity--yes." + +The fountain was a little removed; for the street opened, where it was, +into a space some ten or twelve yards square. As the tall man suddenly +got up from the ground, and came running at the carriage, Monsieur the +Marquis clapped his hand for an instant on his sword-hilt. + +"Killed!" shrieked the man, in wild desperation, extending both arms at +their length above his head, and staring at him. "Dead!" + +The people closed round, and looked at Monsieur the Marquis. There was +nothing revealed by the many eyes that looked at him but watchfulness +and eagerness; there was no visible menacing or anger. Neither did the +people say anything; after the first cry, they had been silent, and they +remained so. The voice of the submissive man who had spoken, was flat +and tame in its extreme submission. Monsieur the Marquis ran his eyes +over them all, as if they had been mere rats come out of their holes. + +He took out his purse. + +"It is extraordinary to me," said he, "that you people cannot take care +of yourselves and your children. One or the other of you is for ever in +the way. How do I know what injury you have done my horses. See! Give +him that." + +He threw out a gold coin for the valet to pick up, and all the heads +craned forward that all the eyes might look down at it as it fell. The +tall man called out again with a most unearthly cry, "Dead!" + +He was arrested by the quick arrival of another man, for whom the rest +made way. On seeing him, the miserable creature fell upon his shoulder, +sobbing and crying, and pointing to the fountain, where some women were +stooping over the motionless bundle, and moving gently about it. They +were as silent, however, as the men. + +"I know all, I know all," said the last comer. "Be a brave man, my +Gaspard! It is better for the poor little plaything to die so, than to +live. It has died in a moment without pain. Could it have lived an hour +as happily?" + +"You are a philosopher, you there," said the Marquis, smiling. "How do +they call you?" + +"They call me Defarge." + +"Of what trade?" + +"Monsieur the Marquis, vendor of wine." + +"Pick up that, philosopher and vendor of wine," said the Marquis, +throwing him another gold coin, "and spend it as you will. The horses +there; are they right?" + +Without deigning to look at the assemblage a second time, Monsieur the +Marquis leaned back in his seat, and was just being driven away with the +air of a gentleman who had accidentally broke some common thing, and had +paid for it, and could afford to pay for it; when his ease was suddenly +disturbed by a coin flying into his carriage, and ringing on its floor. + +"Hold!" said Monsieur the Marquis. "Hold the horses! Who threw that?" + +He looked to the spot where Defarge the vendor of wine had stood, a +moment before; but the wretched father was grovelling on his face on +the pavement in that spot, and the figure that stood beside him was the +figure of a dark stout woman, knitting. + +"You dogs!" said the Marquis, but smoothly, and with an unchanged front, +except as to the spots on his nose: "I would ride over any of you very +willingly, and exterminate you from the earth. If I knew which rascal +threw at the carriage, and if that brigand were sufficiently near it, he +should be crushed under the wheels." + +So cowed was their condition, and so long and hard their experience of +what such a man could do to them, within the law and beyond it, that not +a voice, or a hand, or even an eye was raised. Among the men, not one. +But the woman who stood knitting looked up steadily, and looked the +Marquis in the face. It was not for his dignity to notice it; his +contemptuous eyes passed over her, and over all the other rats; and he +leaned back in his seat again, and gave the word "Go on!" + +He was driven on, and other carriages came whirling by in quick +succession; the Minister, the State-Projector, the Farmer-General, the +Doctor, the Lawyer, the Ecclesiastic, the Grand Opera, the Comedy, the +whole Fancy Ball in a bright continuous flow, came whirling by. The rats +had crept out of their holes to look on, and they remained looking +on for hours; soldiers and police often passing between them and the +spectacle, and making a barrier behind which they slunk, and through +which they peeped. The father had long ago taken up his bundle and +bidden himself away with it, when the women who had tended the bundle +while it lay on the base of the fountain, sat there watching the running +of the water and the rolling of the Fancy Ball--when the one woman who +had stood conspicuous, knitting, still knitted on with the steadfastness +of Fate. The water of the fountain ran, the swift river ran, the day ran +into evening, so much life in the city ran into death according to rule, +time and tide waited for no man, the rats were sleeping close together +in their dark holes again, the Fancy Ball was lighted up at supper, all +things ran their course. + + + + +VIII. Monseigneur in the Country + + +A beautiful landscape, with the corn bright in it, but not abundant. +Patches of poor rye where corn should have been, patches of poor peas +and beans, patches of most coarse vegetable substitutes for wheat. On +inanimate nature, as on the men and women who cultivated it, a prevalent +tendency towards an appearance of vegetating unwillingly--a dejected +disposition to give up, and wither away. + +Monsieur the Marquis in his travelling carriage (which might have been +lighter), conducted by four post-horses and two postilions, fagged up +a steep hill. A blush on the countenance of Monsieur the Marquis was +no impeachment of his high breeding; it was not from within; it was +occasioned by an external circumstance beyond his control--the setting +sun. + +The sunset struck so brilliantly into the travelling carriage when it +gained the hill-top, that its occupant was steeped in crimson. "It will +die out," said Monsieur the Marquis, glancing at his hands, "directly." + +In effect, the sun was so low that it dipped at the moment. When the +heavy drag had been adjusted to the wheel, and the carriage slid down +hill, with a cinderous smell, in a cloud of dust, the red glow departed +quickly; the sun and the Marquis going down together, there was no glow +left when the drag was taken off. + +But, there remained a broken country, bold and open, a little village +at the bottom of the hill, a broad sweep and rise beyond it, a +church-tower, a windmill, a forest for the chase, and a crag with a +fortress on it used as a prison. Round upon all these darkening objects +as the night drew on, the Marquis looked, with the air of one who was +coming near home. + +The village had its one poor street, with its poor brewery, poor +tannery, poor tavern, poor stable-yard for relays of post-horses, poor +fountain, all usual poor appointments. It had its poor people too. All +its people were poor, and many of them were sitting at their doors, +shredding spare onions and the like for supper, while many were at the +fountain, washing leaves, and grasses, and any such small yieldings of +the earth that could be eaten. Expressive signs of what made them poor, +were not wanting; the tax for the state, the tax for the church, the tax +for the lord, tax local and tax general, were to be paid here and to be +paid there, according to solemn inscription in the little village, until +the wonder was, that there was any village left unswallowed. + +Few children were to be seen, and no dogs. As to the men and women, +their choice on earth was stated in the prospect--Life on the lowest +terms that could sustain it, down in the little village under the mill; +or captivity and Death in the dominant prison on the crag. + +Heralded by a courier in advance, and by the cracking of his postilions' +whips, which twined snake-like about their heads in the evening air, as +if he came attended by the Furies, Monsieur the Marquis drew up in +his travelling carriage at the posting-house gate. It was hard by the +fountain, and the peasants suspended their operations to look at him. +He looked at them, and saw in them, without knowing it, the slow +sure filing down of misery-worn face and figure, that was to make the +meagreness of Frenchmen an English superstition which should survive the +truth through the best part of a hundred years. + +Monsieur the Marquis cast his eyes over the submissive faces that +drooped before him, as the like of himself had drooped before +Monseigneur of the Court--only the difference was, that these faces +drooped merely to suffer and not to propitiate--when a grizzled mender +of the roads joined the group. + +"Bring me hither that fellow!" said the Marquis to the courier. + +The fellow was brought, cap in hand, and the other fellows closed round +to look and listen, in the manner of the people at the Paris fountain. + +"I passed you on the road?" + +"Monseigneur, it is true. I had the honour of being passed on the road." + +"Coming up the hill, and at the top of the hill, both?" + +"Monseigneur, it is true." + +"What did you look at, so fixedly?" + +"Monseigneur, I looked at the man." + +He stooped a little, and with his tattered blue cap pointed under the +carriage. All his fellows stooped to look under the carriage. + +"What man, pig? And why look there?" + +"Pardon, Monseigneur; he swung by the chain of the shoe--the drag." + +"Who?" demanded the traveller. + +"Monseigneur, the man." + +"May the Devil carry away these idiots! How do you call the man? You +know all the men of this part of the country. Who was he?" + +"Your clemency, Monseigneur! He was not of this part of the country. Of +all the days of my life, I never saw him." + +"Swinging by the chain? To be suffocated?" + +"With your gracious permission, that was the wonder of it, Monseigneur. +His head hanging over--like this!" + +He turned himself sideways to the carriage, and leaned back, with his +face thrown up to the sky, and his head hanging down; then recovered +himself, fumbled with his cap, and made a bow. + +"What was he like?" + +"Monseigneur, he was whiter than the miller. All covered with dust, +white as a spectre, tall as a spectre!" + +The picture produced an immense sensation in the little crowd; but all +eyes, without comparing notes with other eyes, looked at Monsieur +the Marquis. Perhaps, to observe whether he had any spectre on his +conscience. + +"Truly, you did well," said the Marquis, felicitously sensible that such +vermin were not to ruffle him, "to see a thief accompanying my carriage, +and not open that great mouth of yours. Bah! Put him aside, Monsieur +Gabelle!" + +Monsieur Gabelle was the Postmaster, and some other taxing functionary +united; he had come out with great obsequiousness to assist at this +examination, and had held the examined by the drapery of his arm in an +official manner. + +"Bah! Go aside!" said Monsieur Gabelle. + +"Lay hands on this stranger if he seeks to lodge in your village +to-night, and be sure that his business is honest, Gabelle." + +"Monseigneur, I am flattered to devote myself to your orders." + +"Did he run away, fellow?--where is that Accursed?" + +The accursed was already under the carriage with some half-dozen +particular friends, pointing out the chain with his blue cap. Some +half-dozen other particular friends promptly hauled him out, and +presented him breathless to Monsieur the Marquis. + +"Did the man run away, Dolt, when we stopped for the drag?" + +"Monseigneur, he precipitated himself over the hill-side, head first, as +a person plunges into the river." + +"See to it, Gabelle. Go on!" + +The half-dozen who were peering at the chain were still among the +wheels, like sheep; the wheels turned so suddenly that they were lucky +to save their skins and bones; they had very little else to save, or +they might not have been so fortunate. + +The burst with which the carriage started out of the village and up the +rise beyond, was soon checked by the steepness of the hill. Gradually, +it subsided to a foot pace, swinging and lumbering upward among the many +sweet scents of a summer night. The postilions, with a thousand gossamer +gnats circling about them in lieu of the Furies, quietly mended the +points to the lashes of their whips; the valet walked by the horses; the +courier was audible, trotting on ahead into the dull distance. + +At the steepest point of the hill there was a little burial-ground, +with a Cross and a new large figure of Our Saviour on it; it was a poor +figure in wood, done by some inexperienced rustic carver, but he had +studied the figure from the life--his own life, maybe--for it was +dreadfully spare and thin. + +To this distressful emblem of a great distress that had long been +growing worse, and was not at its worst, a woman was kneeling. She +turned her head as the carriage came up to her, rose quickly, and +presented herself at the carriage-door. + +"It is you, Monseigneur! Monseigneur, a petition." + +With an exclamation of impatience, but with his unchangeable face, +Monseigneur looked out. + +"How, then! What is it? Always petitions!" + +"Monseigneur. For the love of the great God! My husband, the forester." + +"What of your husband, the forester? Always the same with you people. He +cannot pay something?" + +"He has paid all, Monseigneur. He is dead." + +"Well! He is quiet. Can I restore him to you?" + +"Alas, no, Monseigneur! But he lies yonder, under a little heap of poor +grass." + +"Well?" + +"Monseigneur, there are so many little heaps of poor grass?" + +"Again, well?" + +She looked an old woman, but was young. Her manner was one of passionate +grief; by turns she clasped her veinous and knotted hands together +with wild energy, and laid one of them on the carriage-door--tenderly, +caressingly, as if it had been a human breast, and could be expected to +feel the appealing touch. + +"Monseigneur, hear me! Monseigneur, hear my petition! My husband died of +want; so many die of want; so many more will die of want." + +"Again, well? Can I feed them?" + +"Monseigneur, the good God knows; but I don't ask it. My petition is, +that a morsel of stone or wood, with my husband's name, may be placed +over him to show where he lies. Otherwise, the place will be quickly +forgotten, it will never be found when I am dead of the same malady, I +shall be laid under some other heap of poor grass. Monseigneur, they +are so many, they increase so fast, there is so much want. Monseigneur! +Monseigneur!" + +The valet had put her away from the door, the carriage had broken into +a brisk trot, the postilions had quickened the pace, she was left far +behind, and Monseigneur, again escorted by the Furies, was rapidly +diminishing the league or two of distance that remained between him and +his chateau. + +The sweet scents of the summer night rose all around him, and rose, as +the rain falls, impartially, on the dusty, ragged, and toil-worn group +at the fountain not far away; to whom the mender of roads, with the aid +of the blue cap without which he was nothing, still enlarged upon his +man like a spectre, as long as they could bear it. By degrees, as they +could bear no more, they dropped off one by one, and lights twinkled +in little casements; which lights, as the casements darkened, and more +stars came out, seemed to have shot up into the sky instead of having +been extinguished. + +The shadow of a large high-roofed house, and of many over-hanging trees, +was upon Monsieur the Marquis by that time; and the shadow was exchanged +for the light of a flambeau, as his carriage stopped, and the great door +of his chateau was opened to him. + +"Monsieur Charles, whom I expect; is he arrived from England?" + +"Monseigneur, not yet." + + + + +IX. The Gorgon's Head + + +It was a heavy mass of building, that chateau of Monsieur the Marquis, +with a large stone courtyard before it, and two stone sweeps of +staircase meeting in a stone terrace before the principal door. A stony +business altogether, with heavy stone balustrades, and stone urns, and +stone flowers, and stone faces of men, and stone heads of lions, in +all directions. As if the Gorgon's head had surveyed it, when it was +finished, two centuries ago. + +Up the broad flight of shallow steps, Monsieur the Marquis, flambeau +preceded, went from his carriage, sufficiently disturbing the darkness +to elicit loud remonstrance from an owl in the roof of the great pile +of stable building away among the trees. All else was so quiet, that the +flambeau carried up the steps, and the other flambeau held at the great +door, burnt as if they were in a close room of state, instead of being +in the open night-air. Other sound than the owl's voice there was none, +save the falling of a fountain into its stone basin; for, it was one of +those dark nights that hold their breath by the hour together, and then +heave a long low sigh, and hold their breath again. + +The great door clanged behind him, and Monsieur the Marquis crossed a +hall grim with certain old boar-spears, swords, and knives of the chase; +grimmer with certain heavy riding-rods and riding-whips, of which many a +peasant, gone to his benefactor Death, had felt the weight when his lord +was angry. + +Avoiding the larger rooms, which were dark and made fast for the night, +Monsieur the Marquis, with his flambeau-bearer going on before, went up +the staircase to a door in a corridor. This thrown open, admitted him +to his own private apartment of three rooms: his bed-chamber and two +others. High vaulted rooms with cool uncarpeted floors, great dogs upon +the hearths for the burning of wood in winter time, and all luxuries +befitting the state of a marquis in a luxurious age and country. +The fashion of the last Louis but one, of the line that was never to +break--the fourteenth Louis--was conspicuous in their rich furniture; +but, it was diversified by many objects that were illustrations of old +pages in the history of France. + +A supper-table was laid for two, in the third of the rooms; a round +room, in one of the chateau's four extinguisher-topped towers. A small +lofty room, with its window wide open, and the wooden jalousie-blinds +closed, so that the dark night only showed in slight horizontal lines of +black, alternating with their broad lines of stone colour. + +"My nephew," said the Marquis, glancing at the supper preparation; "they +said he was not arrived." + +Nor was he; but, he had been expected with Monseigneur. + +"Ah! It is not probable he will arrive to-night; nevertheless, leave the +table as it is. I shall be ready in a quarter of an hour." + +In a quarter of an hour Monseigneur was ready, and sat down alone to his +sumptuous and choice supper. His chair was opposite to the window, and +he had taken his soup, and was raising his glass of Bordeaux to his +lips, when he put it down. + +"What is that?" he calmly asked, looking with attention at the +horizontal lines of black and stone colour. + +"Monseigneur? That?" + +"Outside the blinds. Open the blinds." + +It was done. + +"Well?" + +"Monseigneur, it is nothing. The trees and the night are all that are +here." + +The servant who spoke, had thrown the blinds wide, had looked out into +the vacant darkness, and stood with that blank behind him, looking round +for instructions. + +"Good," said the imperturbable master. "Close them again." + +That was done too, and the Marquis went on with his supper. He was +half way through it, when he again stopped with his glass in his hand, +hearing the sound of wheels. It came on briskly, and came up to the +front of the chateau. + +"Ask who is arrived." + +It was the nephew of Monseigneur. He had been some few leagues behind +Monseigneur, early in the afternoon. He had diminished the distance +rapidly, but not so rapidly as to come up with Monseigneur on the road. +He had heard of Monseigneur, at the posting-houses, as being before him. + +He was to be told (said Monseigneur) that supper awaited him then and +there, and that he was prayed to come to it. In a little while he came. +He had been known in England as Charles Darnay. + +Monseigneur received him in a courtly manner, but they did not shake +hands. + +"You left Paris yesterday, sir?" he said to Monseigneur, as he took his +seat at table. + +"Yesterday. And you?" + +"I come direct." + +"From London?" + +"Yes." + +"You have been a long time coming," said the Marquis, with a smile. + +"On the contrary; I come direct." + +"Pardon me! I mean, not a long time on the journey; a long time +intending the journey." + +"I have been detained by"--the nephew stopped a moment in his +answer--"various business." + +"Without doubt," said the polished uncle. + +So long as a servant was present, no other words passed between them. +When coffee had been served and they were alone together, the nephew, +looking at the uncle and meeting the eyes of the face that was like a +fine mask, opened a conversation. + +"I have come back, sir, as you anticipate, pursuing the object that +took me away. It carried me into great and unexpected peril; but it is +a sacred object, and if it had carried me to death I hope it would have +sustained me." + +"Not to death," said the uncle; "it is not necessary to say, to death." + +"I doubt, sir," returned the nephew, "whether, if it had carried me to +the utmost brink of death, you would have cared to stop me there." + +The deepened marks in the nose, and the lengthening of the fine straight +lines in the cruel face, looked ominous as to that; the uncle made a +graceful gesture of protest, which was so clearly a slight form of good +breeding that it was not reassuring. + +"Indeed, sir," pursued the nephew, "for anything I know, you may have +expressly worked to give a more suspicious appearance to the suspicious +circumstances that surrounded me." + +"No, no, no," said the uncle, pleasantly. + +"But, however that may be," resumed the nephew, glancing at him with +deep distrust, "I know that your diplomacy would stop me by any means, +and would know no scruple as to means." + +"My friend, I told you so," said the uncle, with a fine pulsation in the +two marks. "Do me the favour to recall that I told you so, long ago." + +"I recall it." + +"Thank you," said the Marquis--very sweetly indeed. + +His tone lingered in the air, almost like the tone of a musical +instrument. + +"In effect, sir," pursued the nephew, "I believe it to be at once your +bad fortune, and my good fortune, that has kept me out of a prison in +France here." + +"I do not quite understand," returned the uncle, sipping his coffee. +"Dare I ask you to explain?" + +"I believe that if you were not in disgrace with the Court, and had not +been overshadowed by that cloud for years past, a letter de cachet would +have sent me to some fortress indefinitely." + +"It is possible," said the uncle, with great calmness. "For the honour +of the family, I could even resolve to incommode you to that extent. +Pray excuse me!" + +"I perceive that, happily for me, the Reception of the day before +yesterday was, as usual, a cold one," observed the nephew. + +"I would not say happily, my friend," returned the uncle, with refined +politeness; "I would not be sure of that. A good opportunity for +consideration, surrounded by the advantages of solitude, might influence +your destiny to far greater advantage than you influence it for +yourself. But it is useless to discuss the question. I am, as you say, +at a disadvantage. These little instruments of correction, these gentle +aids to the power and honour of families, these slight favours that +might so incommode you, are only to be obtained now by interest +and importunity. They are sought by so many, and they are granted +(comparatively) to so few! It used not to be so, but France in all such +things is changed for the worse. Our not remote ancestors held the right +of life and death over the surrounding vulgar. From this room, many such +dogs have been taken out to be hanged; in the next room (my bedroom), +one fellow, to our knowledge, was poniarded on the spot for professing +some insolent delicacy respecting his daughter--_his_ daughter? We have +lost many privileges; a new philosophy has become the mode; and the +assertion of our station, in these days, might (I do not go so far as +to say would, but might) cause us real inconvenience. All very bad, very +bad!" + +The Marquis took a gentle little pinch of snuff, and shook his head; +as elegantly despondent as he could becomingly be of a country still +containing himself, that great means of regeneration. + +"We have so asserted our station, both in the old time and in the modern +time also," said the nephew, gloomily, "that I believe our name to be +more detested than any name in France." + +"Let us hope so," said the uncle. "Detestation of the high is the +involuntary homage of the low." + +"There is not," pursued the nephew, in his former tone, "a face I can +look at, in all this country round about us, which looks at me with any +deference on it but the dark deference of fear and slavery." + +"A compliment," said the Marquis, "to the grandeur of the family, +merited by the manner in which the family has sustained its grandeur. +Hah!" And he took another gentle little pinch of snuff, and lightly +crossed his legs. + +But, when his nephew, leaning an elbow on the table, covered his eyes +thoughtfully and dejectedly with his hand, the fine mask looked at +him sideways with a stronger concentration of keenness, closeness, +and dislike, than was comportable with its wearer's assumption of +indifference. + +"Repression is the only lasting philosophy. The dark deference of fear +and slavery, my friend," observed the Marquis, "will keep the dogs +obedient to the whip, as long as this roof," looking up to it, "shuts +out the sky." + +That might not be so long as the Marquis supposed. If a picture of the +chateau as it was to be a very few years hence, and of fifty like it as +they too were to be a very few years hence, could have been shown to +him that night, he might have been at a loss to claim his own from +the ghastly, fire-charred, plunder-wrecked rains. As for the roof +he vaunted, he might have found _that_ shutting out the sky in a new +way--to wit, for ever, from the eyes of the bodies into which its lead +was fired, out of the barrels of a hundred thousand muskets. + +"Meanwhile," said the Marquis, "I will preserve the honour and repose +of the family, if you will not. But you must be fatigued. Shall we +terminate our conference for the night?" + +"A moment more." + +"An hour, if you please." + +"Sir," said the nephew, "we have done wrong, and are reaping the fruits +of wrong." + +"_We_ have done wrong?" repeated the Marquis, with an inquiring smile, +and delicately pointing, first to his nephew, then to himself. + +"Our family; our honourable family, whose honour is of so much account +to both of us, in such different ways. Even in my father's time, we did +a world of wrong, injuring every human creature who came between us and +our pleasure, whatever it was. Why need I speak of my father's time, +when it is equally yours? Can I separate my father's twin-brother, joint +inheritor, and next successor, from himself?" + +"Death has done that!" said the Marquis. + +"And has left me," answered the nephew, "bound to a system that is +frightful to me, responsible for it, but powerless in it; seeking to +execute the last request of my dear mother's lips, and obey the last +look of my dear mother's eyes, which implored me to have mercy and to +redress; and tortured by seeking assistance and power in vain." + +"Seeking them from me, my nephew," said the Marquis, touching him on the +breast with his forefinger--they were now standing by the hearth--"you +will for ever seek them in vain, be assured." + +Every fine straight line in the clear whiteness of his face, was +cruelly, craftily, and closely compressed, while he stood looking +quietly at his nephew, with his snuff-box in his hand. Once again he +touched him on the breast, as though his finger were the fine point of +a small sword, with which, in delicate finesse, he ran him through the +body, and said, + +"My friend, I will die, perpetuating the system under which I have +lived." + +When he had said it, he took a culminating pinch of snuff, and put his +box in his pocket. + +"Better to be a rational creature," he added then, after ringing a small +bell on the table, "and accept your natural destiny. But you are lost, +Monsieur Charles, I see." + +"This property and France are lost to me," said the nephew, sadly; "I +renounce them." + +"Are they both yours to renounce? France may be, but is the property? It +is scarcely worth mentioning; but, is it yet?" + +"I had no intention, in the words I used, to claim it yet. If it passed +to me from you, to-morrow--" + +"Which I have the vanity to hope is not probable." + +"--or twenty years hence--" + +"You do me too much honour," said the Marquis; "still, I prefer that +supposition." + +"--I would abandon it, and live otherwise and elsewhere. It is little to +relinquish. What is it but a wilderness of misery and ruin!" + +"Hah!" said the Marquis, glancing round the luxurious room. + +"To the eye it is fair enough, here; but seen in its integrity, +under the sky, and by the daylight, it is a crumbling tower of waste, +mismanagement, extortion, debt, mortgage, oppression, hunger, nakedness, +and suffering." + +"Hah!" said the Marquis again, in a well-satisfied manner. + +"If it ever becomes mine, it shall be put into some hands better +qualified to free it slowly (if such a thing is possible) from the +weight that drags it down, so that the miserable people who cannot leave +it and who have been long wrung to the last point of endurance, may, in +another generation, suffer less; but it is not for me. There is a curse +on it, and on all this land." + +"And you?" said the uncle. "Forgive my curiosity; do you, under your new +philosophy, graciously intend to live?" + +"I must do, to live, what others of my countrymen, even with nobility at +their backs, may have to do some day--work." + +"In England, for example?" + +"Yes. The family honour, sir, is safe from me in this country. The +family name can suffer from me in no other, for I bear it in no other." + +The ringing of the bell had caused the adjoining bed-chamber to be +lighted. It now shone brightly, through the door of communication. The +Marquis looked that way, and listened for the retreating step of his +valet. + +"England is very attractive to you, seeing how indifferently you have +prospered there," he observed then, turning his calm face to his nephew +with a smile. + +"I have already said, that for my prospering there, I am sensible I may +be indebted to you, sir. For the rest, it is my Refuge." + +"They say, those boastful English, that it is the Refuge of many. You +know a compatriot who has found a Refuge there? A Doctor?" + +"Yes." + +"With a daughter?" + +"Yes." + +"Yes," said the Marquis. "You are fatigued. Good night!" + +As he bent his head in his most courtly manner, there was a secrecy +in his smiling face, and he conveyed an air of mystery to those words, +which struck the eyes and ears of his nephew forcibly. At the same +time, the thin straight lines of the setting of the eyes, and the thin +straight lips, and the markings in the nose, curved with a sarcasm that +looked handsomely diabolic. + +"Yes," repeated the Marquis. "A Doctor with a daughter. Yes. So +commences the new philosophy! You are fatigued. Good night!" + +It would have been of as much avail to interrogate any stone face +outside the chateau as to interrogate that face of his. The nephew +looked at him, in vain, in passing on to the door. + +"Good night!" said the uncle. "I look to the pleasure of seeing you +again in the morning. Good repose! Light Monsieur my nephew to his +chamber there!--And burn Monsieur my nephew in his bed, if you will," he +added to himself, before he rang his little bell again, and summoned his +valet to his own bedroom. + +The valet come and gone, Monsieur the Marquis walked to and fro in his +loose chamber-robe, to prepare himself gently for sleep, that hot still +night. Rustling about the room, his softly-slippered feet making no +noise on the floor, he moved like a refined tiger:--looked like some +enchanted marquis of the impenitently wicked sort, in story, whose +periodical change into tiger form was either just going off, or just +coming on. + +He moved from end to end of his voluptuous bedroom, looking again at the +scraps of the day's journey that came unbidden into his mind; the slow +toil up the hill at sunset, the setting sun, the descent, the mill, the +prison on the crag, the little village in the hollow, the peasants at +the fountain, and the mender of roads with his blue cap pointing out the +chain under the carriage. That fountain suggested the Paris fountain, +the little bundle lying on the step, the women bending over it, and the +tall man with his arms up, crying, "Dead!" + +"I am cool now," said Monsieur the Marquis, "and may go to bed." + +So, leaving only one light burning on the large hearth, he let his thin +gauze curtains fall around him, and heard the night break its silence +with a long sigh as he composed himself to sleep. + +The stone faces on the outer walls stared blindly at the black night +for three heavy hours; for three heavy hours, the horses in the stables +rattled at their racks, the dogs barked, and the owl made a noise with +very little resemblance in it to the noise conventionally assigned to +the owl by men-poets. But it is the obstinate custom of such creatures +hardly ever to say what is set down for them. + +For three heavy hours, the stone faces of the chateau, lion and human, +stared blindly at the night. Dead darkness lay on all the landscape, +dead darkness added its own hush to the hushing dust on all the roads. +The burial-place had got to the pass that its little heaps of poor grass +were undistinguishable from one another; the figure on the Cross might +have come down, for anything that could be seen of it. In the village, +taxers and taxed were fast asleep. Dreaming, perhaps, of banquets, as +the starved usually do, and of ease and rest, as the driven slave and +the yoked ox may, its lean inhabitants slept soundly, and were fed and +freed. + +The fountain in the village flowed unseen and unheard, and the fountain +at the chateau dropped unseen and unheard--both melting away, like the +minutes that were falling from the spring of Time--through three dark +hours. Then, the grey water of both began to be ghostly in the light, +and the eyes of the stone faces of the chateau were opened. + +Lighter and lighter, until at last the sun touched the tops of the still +trees, and poured its radiance over the hill. In the glow, the water +of the chateau fountain seemed to turn to blood, and the stone faces +crimsoned. The carol of the birds was loud and high, and, on the +weather-beaten sill of the great window of the bed-chamber of Monsieur +the Marquis, one little bird sang its sweetest song with all its might. +At this, the nearest stone face seemed to stare amazed, and, with open +mouth and dropped under-jaw, looked awe-stricken. + +Now, the sun was full up, and movement began in the village. Casement +windows opened, crazy doors were unbarred, and people came forth +shivering--chilled, as yet, by the new sweet air. Then began the rarely +lightened toil of the day among the village population. Some, to the +fountain; some, to the fields; men and women here, to dig and delve; men +and women there, to see to the poor live stock, and lead the bony cows +out, to such pasture as could be found by the roadside. In the church +and at the Cross, a kneeling figure or two; attendant on the latter +prayers, the led cow, trying for a breakfast among the weeds at its +foot. + +The chateau awoke later, as became its quality, but awoke gradually and +surely. First, the lonely boar-spears and knives of the chase had been +reddened as of old; then, had gleamed trenchant in the morning sunshine; +now, doors and windows were thrown open, horses in their stables looked +round over their shoulders at the light and freshness pouring in at +doorways, leaves sparkled and rustled at iron-grated windows, dogs +pulled hard at their chains, and reared impatient to be loosed. + +All these trivial incidents belonged to the routine of life, and the +return of morning. Surely, not so the ringing of the great bell of the +chateau, nor the running up and down the stairs; nor the hurried +figures on the terrace; nor the booting and tramping here and there and +everywhere, nor the quick saddling of horses and riding away? + +What winds conveyed this hurry to the grizzled mender of roads, already +at work on the hill-top beyond the village, with his day's dinner (not +much to carry) lying in a bundle that it was worth no crow's while to +peck at, on a heap of stones? Had the birds, carrying some grains of it +to a distance, dropped one over him as they sow chance seeds? Whether or +no, the mender of roads ran, on the sultry morning, as if for his life, +down the hill, knee-high in dust, and never stopped till he got to the +fountain. + +All the people of the village were at the fountain, standing about +in their depressed manner, and whispering low, but showing no other +emotions than grim curiosity and surprise. The led cows, hastily brought +in and tethered to anything that would hold them, were looking stupidly +on, or lying down chewing the cud of nothing particularly repaying their +trouble, which they had picked up in their interrupted saunter. Some of +the people of the chateau, and some of those of the posting-house, and +all the taxing authorities, were armed more or less, and were crowded +on the other side of the little street in a purposeless way, that was +highly fraught with nothing. Already, the mender of roads had penetrated +into the midst of a group of fifty particular friends, and was smiting +himself in the breast with his blue cap. What did all this portend, +and what portended the swift hoisting-up of Monsieur Gabelle behind +a servant on horseback, and the conveying away of the said Gabelle +(double-laden though the horse was), at a gallop, like a new version of +the German ballad of Leonora? + +It portended that there was one stone face too many, up at the chateau. + +The Gorgon had surveyed the building again in the night, and had added +the one stone face wanting; the stone face for which it had waited +through about two hundred years. + +It lay back on the pillow of Monsieur the Marquis. It was like a fine +mask, suddenly startled, made angry, and petrified. Driven home into the +heart of the stone figure attached to it, was a knife. Round its hilt +was a frill of paper, on which was scrawled: + +"Drive him fast to his tomb. This, from Jacques." + + + + +X. Two Promises + + +More months, to the number of twelve, had come and gone, and Mr. Charles +Darnay was established in England as a higher teacher of the French +language who was conversant with French literature. In this age, he +would have been a Professor; in that age, he was a Tutor. He read with +young men who could find any leisure and interest for the study of a +living tongue spoken all over the world, and he cultivated a taste for +its stores of knowledge and fancy. He could write of them, besides, in +sound English, and render them into sound English. Such masters were not +at that time easily found; Princes that had been, and Kings that were +to be, were not yet of the Teacher class, and no ruined nobility had +dropped out of Tellson's ledgers, to turn cooks and carpenters. As a +tutor, whose attainments made the student's way unusually pleasant and +profitable, and as an elegant translator who brought something to his +work besides mere dictionary knowledge, young Mr. Darnay soon became +known and encouraged. He was well acquainted, more-over, with the +circumstances of his country, and those were of ever-growing interest. +So, with great perseverance and untiring industry, he prospered. + +In London, he had expected neither to walk on pavements of gold, nor +to lie on beds of roses; if he had had any such exalted expectation, he +would not have prospered. He had expected labour, and he found it, and +did it and made the best of it. In this, his prosperity consisted. + +A certain portion of his time was passed at Cambridge, where he +read with undergraduates as a sort of tolerated smuggler who drove a +contraband trade in European languages, instead of conveying Greek +and Latin through the Custom-house. The rest of his time he passed in +London. + +Now, from the days when it was always summer in Eden, to these days +when it is mostly winter in fallen latitudes, the world of a man has +invariably gone one way--Charles Darnay's way--the way of the love of a +woman. + +He had loved Lucie Manette from the hour of his danger. He had never +heard a sound so sweet and dear as the sound of her compassionate voice; +he had never seen a face so tenderly beautiful, as hers when it was +confronted with his own on the edge of the grave that had been dug for +him. But, he had not yet spoken to her on the subject; the assassination +at the deserted chateau far away beyond the heaving water and the long, +long, dusty roads--the solid stone chateau which had itself become the +mere mist of a dream--had been done a year, and he had never yet, by so +much as a single spoken word, disclosed to her the state of his heart. + +That he had his reasons for this, he knew full well. It was again a +summer day when, lately arrived in London from his college occupation, +he turned into the quiet corner in Soho, bent on seeking an opportunity +of opening his mind to Doctor Manette. It was the close of the summer +day, and he knew Lucie to be out with Miss Pross. + +He found the Doctor reading in his arm-chair at a window. The energy +which had at once supported him under his old sufferings and aggravated +their sharpness, had been gradually restored to him. He was now a +very energetic man indeed, with great firmness of purpose, strength +of resolution, and vigour of action. In his recovered energy he was +sometimes a little fitful and sudden, as he had at first been in the +exercise of his other recovered faculties; but, this had never been +frequently observable, and had grown more and more rare. + +He studied much, slept little, sustained a great deal of fatigue with +ease, and was equably cheerful. To him, now entered Charles Darnay, at +sight of whom he laid aside his book and held out his hand. + +"Charles Darnay! I rejoice to see you. We have been counting on your +return these three or four days past. Mr. Stryver and Sydney Carton were +both here yesterday, and both made you out to be more than due." + +"I am obliged to them for their interest in the matter," he answered, +a little coldly as to them, though very warmly as to the Doctor. "Miss +Manette--" + +"Is well," said the Doctor, as he stopped short, "and your return will +delight us all. She has gone out on some household matters, but will +soon be home." + +"Doctor Manette, I knew she was from home. I took the opportunity of her +being from home, to beg to speak to you." + +There was a blank silence. + +"Yes?" said the Doctor, with evident constraint. "Bring your chair here, +and speak on." + +He complied as to the chair, but appeared to find the speaking on less +easy. + +"I have had the happiness, Doctor Manette, of being so intimate here," +so he at length began, "for some year and a half, that I hope the topic +on which I am about to touch may not--" + +He was stayed by the Doctor's putting out his hand to stop him. When he +had kept it so a little while, he said, drawing it back: + +"Is Lucie the topic?" + +"She is." + +"It is hard for me to speak of her at any time. It is very hard for me +to hear her spoken of in that tone of yours, Charles Darnay." + +"It is a tone of fervent admiration, true homage, and deep love, Doctor +Manette!" he said deferentially. + +There was another blank silence before her father rejoined: + +"I believe it. I do you justice; I believe it." + +His constraint was so manifest, and it was so manifest, too, that it +originated in an unwillingness to approach the subject, that Charles +Darnay hesitated. + +"Shall I go on, sir?" + +Another blank. + +"Yes, go on." + +"You anticipate what I would say, though you cannot know how earnestly +I say it, how earnestly I feel it, without knowing my secret heart, and +the hopes and fears and anxieties with which it has long been +laden. Dear Doctor Manette, I love your daughter fondly, dearly, +disinterestedly, devotedly. If ever there were love in the world, I love +her. You have loved yourself; let your old love speak for me!" + +The Doctor sat with his face turned away, and his eyes bent on the +ground. At the last words, he stretched out his hand again, hurriedly, +and cried: + +"Not that, sir! Let that be! I adjure you, do not recall that!" + +His cry was so like a cry of actual pain, that it rang in Charles +Darnay's ears long after he had ceased. He motioned with the hand he had +extended, and it seemed to be an appeal to Darnay to pause. The latter +so received it, and remained silent. + +"I ask your pardon," said the Doctor, in a subdued tone, after some +moments. "I do not doubt your loving Lucie; you may be satisfied of it." + +He turned towards him in his chair, but did not look at him, or +raise his eyes. His chin dropped upon his hand, and his white hair +overshadowed his face: + +"Have you spoken to Lucie?" + +"No." + +"Nor written?" + +"Never." + +"It would be ungenerous to affect not to know that your self-denial is +to be referred to your consideration for her father. Her father thanks +you." + +He offered his hand; but his eyes did not go with it. + +"I know," said Darnay, respectfully, "how can I fail to know, Doctor +Manette, I who have seen you together from day to day, that between +you and Miss Manette there is an affection so unusual, so touching, so +belonging to the circumstances in which it has been nurtured, that it +can have few parallels, even in the tenderness between a father and +child. I know, Doctor Manette--how can I fail to know--that, mingled +with the affection and duty of a daughter who has become a woman, there +is, in her heart, towards you, all the love and reliance of infancy +itself. I know that, as in her childhood she had no parent, so she is +now devoted to you with all the constancy and fervour of her present +years and character, united to the trustfulness and attachment of the +early days in which you were lost to her. I know perfectly well that if +you had been restored to her from the world beyond this life, you could +hardly be invested, in her sight, with a more sacred character than that +in which you are always with her. I know that when she is clinging to +you, the hands of baby, girl, and woman, all in one, are round your +neck. I know that in loving you she sees and loves her mother at her +own age, sees and loves you at my age, loves her mother broken-hearted, +loves you through your dreadful trial and in your blessed restoration. I +have known this, night and day, since I have known you in your home." + +Her father sat silent, with his face bent down. His breathing was a +little quickened; but he repressed all other signs of agitation. + +"Dear Doctor Manette, always knowing this, always seeing her and you +with this hallowed light about you, I have forborne, and forborne, as +long as it was in the nature of man to do it. I have felt, and do even +now feel, that to bring my love--even mine--between you, is to touch +your history with something not quite so good as itself. But I love her. +Heaven is my witness that I love her!" + +"I believe it," answered her father, mournfully. "I have thought so +before now. I believe it." + +"But, do not believe," said Darnay, upon whose ear the mournful voice +struck with a reproachful sound, "that if my fortune were so cast as +that, being one day so happy as to make her my wife, I must at any time +put any separation between her and you, I could or would breathe a +word of what I now say. Besides that I should know it to be hopeless, I +should know it to be a baseness. If I had any such possibility, even at +a remote distance of years, harboured in my thoughts, and hidden in my +heart--if it ever had been there--if it ever could be there--I could not +now touch this honoured hand." + +He laid his own upon it as he spoke. + +"No, dear Doctor Manette. Like you, a voluntary exile from France; like +you, driven from it by its distractions, oppressions, and miseries; like +you, striving to live away from it by my own exertions, and trusting +in a happier future; I look only to sharing your fortunes, sharing your +life and home, and being faithful to you to the death. Not to divide +with Lucie her privilege as your child, companion, and friend; but to +come in aid of it, and bind her closer to you, if such a thing can be." + +His touch still lingered on her father's hand. Answering the touch for a +moment, but not coldly, her father rested his hands upon the arms of +his chair, and looked up for the first time since the beginning of the +conference. A struggle was evidently in his face; a struggle with that +occasional look which had a tendency in it to dark doubt and dread. + +"You speak so feelingly and so manfully, Charles Darnay, that I thank +you with all my heart, and will open all my heart--or nearly so. Have +you any reason to believe that Lucie loves you?" + +"None. As yet, none." + +"Is it the immediate object of this confidence, that you may at once +ascertain that, with my knowledge?" + +"Not even so. I might not have the hopefulness to do it for weeks; I +might (mistaken or not mistaken) have that hopefulness to-morrow." + +"Do you seek any guidance from me?" + +"I ask none, sir. But I have thought it possible that you might have it +in your power, if you should deem it right, to give me some." + +"Do you seek any promise from me?" + +"I do seek that." + +"What is it?" + +"I well understand that, without you, I could have no hope. I well +understand that, even if Miss Manette held me at this moment in her +innocent heart--do not think I have the presumption to assume so much--I +could retain no place in it against her love for her father." + +"If that be so, do you see what, on the other hand, is involved in it?" + +"I understand equally well, that a word from her father in any suitor's +favour, would outweigh herself and all the world. For which reason, +Doctor Manette," said Darnay, modestly but firmly, "I would not ask that +word, to save my life." + +"I am sure of it. Charles Darnay, mysteries arise out of close love, as +well as out of wide division; in the former case, they are subtle and +delicate, and difficult to penetrate. My daughter Lucie is, in this one +respect, such a mystery to me; I can make no guess at the state of her +heart." + +"May I ask, sir, if you think she is--" As he hesitated, her father +supplied the rest. + +"Is sought by any other suitor?" + +"It is what I meant to say." + +Her father considered a little before he answered: + +"You have seen Mr. Carton here, yourself. Mr. Stryver is here too, +occasionally. If it be at all, it can only be by one of these." + +"Or both," said Darnay. + +"I had not thought of both; I should not think either, likely. You want +a promise from me. Tell me what it is." + +"It is, that if Miss Manette should bring to you at any time, on her own +part, such a confidence as I have ventured to lay before you, you will +bear testimony to what I have said, and to your belief in it. I hope you +may be able to think so well of me, as to urge no influence against +me. I say nothing more of my stake in this; this is what I ask. The +condition on which I ask it, and which you have an undoubted right to +require, I will observe immediately." + +"I give the promise," said the Doctor, "without any condition. I believe +your object to be, purely and truthfully, as you have stated it. I +believe your intention is to perpetuate, and not to weaken, the ties +between me and my other and far dearer self. If she should ever tell me +that you are essential to her perfect happiness, I will give her to you. +If there were--Charles Darnay, if there were--" + +The young man had taken his hand gratefully; their hands were joined as +the Doctor spoke: + +"--any fancies, any reasons, any apprehensions, anything whatsoever, +new or old, against the man she really loved--the direct responsibility +thereof not lying on his head--they should all be obliterated for her +sake. She is everything to me; more to me than suffering, more to me +than wrong, more to me--Well! This is idle talk." + +So strange was the way in which he faded into silence, and so strange +his fixed look when he had ceased to speak, that Darnay felt his own +hand turn cold in the hand that slowly released and dropped it. + +"You said something to me," said Doctor Manette, breaking into a smile. +"What was it you said to me?" + +He was at a loss how to answer, until he remembered having spoken of a +condition. Relieved as his mind reverted to that, he answered: + +"Your confidence in me ought to be returned with full confidence on my +part. My present name, though but slightly changed from my mother's, is +not, as you will remember, my own. I wish to tell you what that is, and +why I am in England." + +"Stop!" said the Doctor of Beauvais. + +"I wish it, that I may the better deserve your confidence, and have no +secret from you." + +"Stop!" + +For an instant, the Doctor even had his two hands at his ears; for +another instant, even had his two hands laid on Darnay's lips. + +"Tell me when I ask you, not now. If your suit should prosper, if Lucie +should love you, you shall tell me on your marriage morning. Do you +promise?" + +"Willingly. + +"Give me your hand. She will be home directly, and it is better she +should not see us together to-night. Go! God bless you!" + +It was dark when Charles Darnay left him, and it was an hour later and +darker when Lucie came home; she hurried into the room alone--for +Miss Pross had gone straight up-stairs--and was surprised to find his +reading-chair empty. + +"My father!" she called to him. "Father dear!" + +Nothing was said in answer, but she heard a low hammering sound in his +bedroom. Passing lightly across the intermediate room, she looked in at +his door and came running back frightened, crying to herself, with her +blood all chilled, "What shall I do! What shall I do!" + +Her uncertainty lasted but a moment; she hurried back, and tapped at +his door, and softly called to him. The noise ceased at the sound of +her voice, and he presently came out to her, and they walked up and down +together for a long time. + +She came down from her bed, to look at him in his sleep that night. He +slept heavily, and his tray of shoemaking tools, and his old unfinished +work, were all as usual. + + + + +XI. A Companion Picture + + +"Sydney," said Mr. Stryver, on that self-same night, or morning, to his +jackal; "mix another bowl of punch; I have something to say to you." + +Sydney had been working double tides that night, and the night before, +and the night before that, and a good many nights in succession, making +a grand clearance among Mr. Stryver's papers before the setting in +of the long vacation. The clearance was effected at last; the Stryver +arrears were handsomely fetched up; everything was got rid of until +November should come with its fogs atmospheric, and fogs legal, and +bring grist to the mill again. + +Sydney was none the livelier and none the soberer for so much +application. It had taken a deal of extra wet-towelling to pull him +through the night; a correspondingly extra quantity of wine had preceded +the towelling; and he was in a very damaged condition, as he now pulled +his turban off and threw it into the basin in which he had steeped it at +intervals for the last six hours. + +"Are you mixing that other bowl of punch?" said Stryver the portly, with +his hands in his waistband, glancing round from the sofa where he lay on +his back. + +"I am." + +"Now, look here! I am going to tell you something that will rather +surprise you, and that perhaps will make you think me not quite as +shrewd as you usually do think me. I intend to marry." + +"_Do_ you?" + +"Yes. And not for money. What do you say now?" + +"I don't feel disposed to say much. Who is she?" + +"Guess." + +"Do I know her?" + +"Guess." + +"I am not going to guess, at five o'clock in the morning, with my brains +frying and sputtering in my head. If you want me to guess, you must ask +me to dinner." + +"Well then, I'll tell you," said Stryver, coming slowly into a sitting +posture. "Sydney, I rather despair of making myself intelligible to you, +because you are such an insensible dog." + +"And you," returned Sydney, busy concocting the punch, "are such a +sensitive and poetical spirit--" + +"Come!" rejoined Stryver, laughing boastfully, "though I don't prefer +any claim to being the soul of Romance (for I hope I know better), still +I am a tenderer sort of fellow than _you_." + +"You are a luckier, if you mean that." + +"I don't mean that. I mean I am a man of more--more--" + +"Say gallantry, while you are about it," suggested Carton. + +"Well! I'll say gallantry. My meaning is that I am a man," said Stryver, +inflating himself at his friend as he made the punch, "who cares more to +be agreeable, who takes more pains to be agreeable, who knows better how +to be agreeable, in a woman's society, than you do." + +"Go on," said Sydney Carton. + +"No; but before I go on," said Stryver, shaking his head in his bullying +way, "I'll have this out with you. You've been at Doctor Manette's house +as much as I have, or more than I have. Why, I have been ashamed of your +moroseness there! Your manners have been of that silent and sullen and +hangdog kind, that, upon my life and soul, I have been ashamed of you, +Sydney!" + +"It should be very beneficial to a man in your practice at the bar, to +be ashamed of anything," returned Sydney; "you ought to be much obliged +to me." + +"You shall not get off in that way," rejoined Stryver, shouldering the +rejoinder at him; "no, Sydney, it's my duty to tell you--and I tell you +to your face to do you good--that you are a devilish ill-conditioned +fellow in that sort of society. You are a disagreeable fellow." + +Sydney drank a bumper of the punch he had made, and laughed. + +"Look at me!" said Stryver, squaring himself; "I have less need to make +myself agreeable than you have, being more independent in circumstances. +Why do I do it?" + +"I never saw you do it yet," muttered Carton. + +"I do it because it's politic; I do it on principle. And look at me! I +get on." + +"You don't get on with your account of your matrimonial intentions," +answered Carton, with a careless air; "I wish you would keep to that. As +to me--will you never understand that I am incorrigible?" + +He asked the question with some appearance of scorn. + +"You have no business to be incorrigible," was his friend's answer, +delivered in no very soothing tone. + +"I have no business to be, at all, that I know of," said Sydney Carton. +"Who is the lady?" + +"Now, don't let my announcement of the name make you uncomfortable, +Sydney," said Mr. Stryver, preparing him with ostentatious friendliness +for the disclosure he was about to make, "because I know you don't mean +half you say; and if you meant it all, it would be of no importance. I +make this little preface, because you once mentioned the young lady to +me in slighting terms." + +"I did?" + +"Certainly; and in these chambers." + +Sydney Carton looked at his punch and looked at his complacent friend; +drank his punch and looked at his complacent friend. + +"You made mention of the young lady as a golden-haired doll. The young +lady is Miss Manette. If you had been a fellow of any sensitiveness or +delicacy of feeling in that kind of way, Sydney, I might have been a +little resentful of your employing such a designation; but you are not. +You want that sense altogether; therefore I am no more annoyed when I +think of the expression, than I should be annoyed by a man's opinion of +a picture of mine, who had no eye for pictures: or of a piece of music +of mine, who had no ear for music." + +Sydney Carton drank the punch at a great rate; drank it by bumpers, +looking at his friend. + +"Now you know all about it, Syd," said Mr. Stryver. "I don't care about +fortune: she is a charming creature, and I have made up my mind to +please myself: on the whole, I think I can afford to please myself. She +will have in me a man already pretty well off, and a rapidly rising man, +and a man of some distinction: it is a piece of good fortune for her, +but she is worthy of good fortune. Are you astonished?" + +Carton, still drinking the punch, rejoined, "Why should I be +astonished?" + +"You approve?" + +Carton, still drinking the punch, rejoined, "Why should I not approve?" + +"Well!" said his friend Stryver, "you take it more easily than I fancied +you would, and are less mercenary on my behalf than I thought you would +be; though, to be sure, you know well enough by this time that your +ancient chum is a man of a pretty strong will. Yes, Sydney, I have had +enough of this style of life, with no other as a change from it; I +feel that it is a pleasant thing for a man to have a home when he feels +inclined to go to it (when he doesn't, he can stay away), and I feel +that Miss Manette will tell well in any station, and will always do me +credit. So I have made up my mind. And now, Sydney, old boy, I want to +say a word to _you_ about _your_ prospects. You are in a bad way, you +know; you really are in a bad way. You don't know the value of money, +you live hard, you'll knock up one of these days, and be ill and poor; +you really ought to think about a nurse." + +The prosperous patronage with which he said it, made him look twice as +big as he was, and four times as offensive. + +"Now, let me recommend you," pursued Stryver, "to look it in the face. +I have looked it in the face, in my different way; look it in the face, +you, in your different way. Marry. Provide somebody to take care of +you. Never mind your having no enjoyment of women's society, nor +understanding of it, nor tact for it. Find out somebody. Find out some +respectable woman with a little property--somebody in the landlady way, +or lodging-letting way--and marry her, against a rainy day. That's the +kind of thing for _you_. Now think of it, Sydney." + +"I'll think of it," said Sydney. + + + + +XII. The Fellow of Delicacy + + +Mr. Stryver having made up his mind to that magnanimous bestowal of good +fortune on the Doctor's daughter, resolved to make her happiness known +to her before he left town for the Long Vacation. After some mental +debating of the point, he came to the conclusion that it would be as +well to get all the preliminaries done with, and they could then arrange +at their leisure whether he should give her his hand a week or two +before Michaelmas Term, or in the little Christmas vacation between it +and Hilary. + +As to the strength of his case, he had not a doubt about it, but clearly +saw his way to the verdict. Argued with the jury on substantial worldly +grounds--the only grounds ever worth taking into account--it was a +plain case, and had not a weak spot in it. He called himself for the +plaintiff, there was no getting over his evidence, the counsel for +the defendant threw up his brief, and the jury did not even turn to +consider. After trying it, Stryver, C. J., was satisfied that no plainer +case could be. + +Accordingly, Mr. Stryver inaugurated the Long Vacation with a formal +proposal to take Miss Manette to Vauxhall Gardens; that failing, to +Ranelagh; that unaccountably failing too, it behoved him to present +himself in Soho, and there declare his noble mind. + +Towards Soho, therefore, Mr. Stryver shouldered his way from the Temple, +while the bloom of the Long Vacation's infancy was still upon it. +Anybody who had seen him projecting himself into Soho while he was yet +on Saint Dunstan's side of Temple Bar, bursting in his full-blown way +along the pavement, to the jostlement of all weaker people, might have +seen how safe and strong he was. + +His way taking him past Tellson's, and he both banking at Tellson's and +knowing Mr. Lorry as the intimate friend of the Manettes, it entered Mr. +Stryver's mind to enter the bank, and reveal to Mr. Lorry the brightness +of the Soho horizon. So, he pushed open the door with the weak rattle +in its throat, stumbled down the two steps, got past the two ancient +cashiers, and shouldered himself into the musty back closet where Mr. +Lorry sat at great books ruled for figures, with perpendicular iron +bars to his window as if that were ruled for figures too, and everything +under the clouds were a sum. + +"Halloa!" said Mr. Stryver. "How do you do? I hope you are well!" + +It was Stryver's grand peculiarity that he always seemed too big for any +place, or space. He was so much too big for Tellson's, that old clerks +in distant corners looked up with looks of remonstrance, as though he +squeezed them against the wall. The House itself, magnificently reading +the paper quite in the far-off perspective, lowered displeased, as if +the Stryver head had been butted into its responsible waistcoat. + +The discreet Mr. Lorry said, in a sample tone of the voice he would +recommend under the circumstances, "How do you do, Mr. Stryver? How do +you do, sir?" and shook hands. There was a peculiarity in his manner +of shaking hands, always to be seen in any clerk at Tellson's who shook +hands with a customer when the House pervaded the air. He shook in a +self-abnegating way, as one who shook for Tellson and Co. + +"Can I do anything for you, Mr. Stryver?" asked Mr. Lorry, in his +business character. + +"Why, no, thank you; this is a private visit to yourself, Mr. Lorry; I +have come for a private word." + +"Oh indeed!" said Mr. Lorry, bending down his ear, while his eye strayed +to the House afar off. + +"I am going," said Mr. Stryver, leaning his arms confidentially on the +desk: whereupon, although it was a large double one, there appeared to +be not half desk enough for him: "I am going to make an offer of myself +in marriage to your agreeable little friend, Miss Manette, Mr. Lorry." + +"Oh dear me!" cried Mr. Lorry, rubbing his chin, and looking at his +visitor dubiously. + +"Oh dear me, sir?" repeated Stryver, drawing back. "Oh dear you, sir? +What may your meaning be, Mr. Lorry?" + +"My meaning," answered the man of business, "is, of course, friendly and +appreciative, and that it does you the greatest credit, and--in short, +my meaning is everything you could desire. But--really, you know, Mr. +Stryver--" Mr. Lorry paused, and shook his head at him in the oddest +manner, as if he were compelled against his will to add, internally, +"you know there really is so much too much of you!" + +"Well!" said Stryver, slapping the desk with his contentious hand, +opening his eyes wider, and taking a long breath, "if I understand you, +Mr. Lorry, I'll be hanged!" + +Mr. Lorry adjusted his little wig at both ears as a means towards that +end, and bit the feather of a pen. + +"D--n it all, sir!" said Stryver, staring at him, "am I not eligible?" + +"Oh dear yes! Yes. Oh yes, you're eligible!" said Mr. Lorry. "If you say +eligible, you are eligible." + +"Am I not prosperous?" asked Stryver. + +"Oh! if you come to prosperous, you are prosperous," said Mr. Lorry. + +"And advancing?" + +"If you come to advancing you know," said Mr. Lorry, delighted to be +able to make another admission, "nobody can doubt that." + +"Then what on earth is your meaning, Mr. Lorry?" demanded Stryver, +perceptibly crestfallen. + +"Well! I--Were you going there now?" asked Mr. Lorry. + +"Straight!" said Stryver, with a plump of his fist on the desk. + +"Then I think I wouldn't, if I was you." + +"Why?" said Stryver. "Now, I'll put you in a corner," forensically +shaking a forefinger at him. "You are a man of business and bound to +have a reason. State your reason. Why wouldn't you go?" + +"Because," said Mr. Lorry, "I wouldn't go on such an object without +having some cause to believe that I should succeed." + +"D--n _me_!" cried Stryver, "but this beats everything." + +Mr. Lorry glanced at the distant House, and glanced at the angry +Stryver. + +"Here's a man of business--a man of years--a man of experience--_in_ +a Bank," said Stryver; "and having summed up three leading reasons for +complete success, he says there's no reason at all! Says it with his +head on!" Mr. Stryver remarked upon the peculiarity as if it would have +been infinitely less remarkable if he had said it with his head off. + +"When I speak of success, I speak of success with the young lady; and +when I speak of causes and reasons to make success probable, I speak of +causes and reasons that will tell as such with the young lady. The young +lady, my good sir," said Mr. Lorry, mildly tapping the Stryver arm, "the +young lady. The young lady goes before all." + +"Then you mean to tell me, Mr. Lorry," said Stryver, squaring his +elbows, "that it is your deliberate opinion that the young lady at +present in question is a mincing Fool?" + +"Not exactly so. I mean to tell you, Mr. Stryver," said Mr. Lorry, +reddening, "that I will hear no disrespectful word of that young lady +from any lips; and that if I knew any man--which I hope I do not--whose +taste was so coarse, and whose temper was so overbearing, that he could +not restrain himself from speaking disrespectfully of that young lady at +this desk, not even Tellson's should prevent my giving him a piece of my +mind." + +The necessity of being angry in a suppressed tone had put Mr. Stryver's +blood-vessels into a dangerous state when it was his turn to be angry; +Mr. Lorry's veins, methodical as their courses could usually be, were in +no better state now it was his turn. + +"That is what I mean to tell you, sir," said Mr. Lorry. "Pray let there +be no mistake about it." + +Mr. Stryver sucked the end of a ruler for a little while, and then stood +hitting a tune out of his teeth with it, which probably gave him the +toothache. He broke the awkward silence by saying: + +"This is something new to me, Mr. Lorry. You deliberately advise me not +to go up to Soho and offer myself--_my_self, Stryver of the King's Bench +bar?" + +"Do you ask me for my advice, Mr. Stryver?" + +"Yes, I do." + +"Very good. Then I give it, and you have repeated it correctly." + +"And all I can say of it is," laughed Stryver with a vexed laugh, "that +this--ha, ha!--beats everything past, present, and to come." + +"Now understand me," pursued Mr. Lorry. "As a man of business, I am +not justified in saying anything about this matter, for, as a man of +business, I know nothing of it. But, as an old fellow, who has carried +Miss Manette in his arms, who is the trusted friend of Miss Manette and +of her father too, and who has a great affection for them both, I have +spoken. The confidence is not of my seeking, recollect. Now, you think I +may not be right?" + +"Not I!" said Stryver, whistling. "I can't undertake to find third +parties in common sense; I can only find it for myself. I suppose sense +in certain quarters; you suppose mincing bread-and-butter nonsense. It's +new to me, but you are right, I dare say." + +"What I suppose, Mr. Stryver, I claim to characterise for myself--And +understand me, sir," said Mr. Lorry, quickly flushing again, "I +will not--not even at Tellson's--have it characterised for me by any +gentleman breathing." + +"There! I beg your pardon!" said Stryver. + +"Granted. Thank you. Well, Mr. Stryver, I was about to say:--it might be +painful to you to find yourself mistaken, it might be painful to Doctor +Manette to have the task of being explicit with you, it might be very +painful to Miss Manette to have the task of being explicit with you. You +know the terms upon which I have the honour and happiness to stand with +the family. If you please, committing you in no way, representing you +in no way, I will undertake to correct my advice by the exercise of a +little new observation and judgment expressly brought to bear upon +it. If you should then be dissatisfied with it, you can but test its +soundness for yourself; if, on the other hand, you should be satisfied +with it, and it should be what it now is, it may spare all sides what is +best spared. What do you say?" + +"How long would you keep me in town?" + +"Oh! It is only a question of a few hours. I could go to Soho in the +evening, and come to your chambers afterwards." + +"Then I say yes," said Stryver: "I won't go up there now, I am not so +hot upon it as that comes to; I say yes, and I shall expect you to look +in to-night. Good morning." + +Then Mr. Stryver turned and burst out of the Bank, causing such a +concussion of air on his passage through, that to stand up against it +bowing behind the two counters, required the utmost remaining strength +of the two ancient clerks. Those venerable and feeble persons were +always seen by the public in the act of bowing, and were popularly +believed, when they had bowed a customer out, still to keep on bowing in +the empty office until they bowed another customer in. + +The barrister was keen enough to divine that the banker would not have +gone so far in his expression of opinion on any less solid ground than +moral certainty. Unprepared as he was for the large pill he had to +swallow, he got it down. "And now," said Mr. Stryver, shaking his +forensic forefinger at the Temple in general, when it was down, "my way +out of this, is, to put you all in the wrong." + +It was a bit of the art of an Old Bailey tactician, in which he found +great relief. "You shall not put me in the wrong, young lady," said Mr. +Stryver; "I'll do that for you." + +Accordingly, when Mr. Lorry called that night as late as ten o'clock, +Mr. Stryver, among a quantity of books and papers littered out for the +purpose, seemed to have nothing less on his mind than the subject of +the morning. He even showed surprise when he saw Mr. Lorry, and was +altogether in an absent and preoccupied state. + +"Well!" said that good-natured emissary, after a full half-hour of +bootless attempts to bring him round to the question. "I have been to +Soho." + +"To Soho?" repeated Mr. Stryver, coldly. "Oh, to be sure! What am I +thinking of!" + +"And I have no doubt," said Mr. Lorry, "that I was right in the +conversation we had. My opinion is confirmed, and I reiterate my +advice." + +"I assure you," returned Mr. Stryver, in the friendliest way, "that I +am sorry for it on your account, and sorry for it on the poor father's +account. I know this must always be a sore subject with the family; let +us say no more about it." + +"I don't understand you," said Mr. Lorry. + +"I dare say not," rejoined Stryver, nodding his head in a smoothing and +final way; "no matter, no matter." + +"But it does matter," Mr. Lorry urged. + +"No it doesn't; I assure you it doesn't. Having supposed that there was +sense where there is no sense, and a laudable ambition where there is +not a laudable ambition, I am well out of my mistake, and no harm is +done. Young women have committed similar follies often before, and have +repented them in poverty and obscurity often before. In an unselfish +aspect, I am sorry that the thing is dropped, because it would have been +a bad thing for me in a worldly point of view; in a selfish aspect, I am +glad that the thing has dropped, because it would have been a bad thing +for me in a worldly point of view--it is hardly necessary to say I could +have gained nothing by it. There is no harm at all done. I have not +proposed to the young lady, and, between ourselves, I am by no means +certain, on reflection, that I ever should have committed myself to +that extent. Mr. Lorry, you cannot control the mincing vanities and +giddinesses of empty-headed girls; you must not expect to do it, or you +will always be disappointed. Now, pray say no more about it. I tell you, +I regret it on account of others, but I am satisfied on my own account. +And I am really very much obliged to you for allowing me to sound you, +and for giving me your advice; you know the young lady better than I do; +you were right, it never would have done." + +Mr. Lorry was so taken aback, that he looked quite stupidly at Mr. +Stryver shouldering him towards the door, with an appearance of +showering generosity, forbearance, and goodwill, on his erring head. +"Make the best of it, my dear sir," said Stryver; "say no more about it; +thank you again for allowing me to sound you; good night!" + +Mr. Lorry was out in the night, before he knew where he was. Mr. Stryver +was lying back on his sofa, winking at his ceiling. + + + + +XIII. The Fellow of No Delicacy + + +If Sydney Carton ever shone anywhere, he certainly never shone in the +house of Doctor Manette. He had been there often, during a whole year, +and had always been the same moody and morose lounger there. When he +cared to talk, he talked well; but, the cloud of caring for nothing, +which overshadowed him with such a fatal darkness, was very rarely +pierced by the light within him. + +And yet he did care something for the streets that environed that house, +and for the senseless stones that made their pavements. Many a night +he vaguely and unhappily wandered there, when wine had brought no +transitory gladness to him; many a dreary daybreak revealed his solitary +figure lingering there, and still lingering there when the first beams +of the sun brought into strong relief, removed beauties of architecture +in spires of churches and lofty buildings, as perhaps the quiet time +brought some sense of better things, else forgotten and unattainable, +into his mind. Of late, the neglected bed in the Temple Court had known +him more scantily than ever; and often when he had thrown himself upon +it no longer than a few minutes, he had got up again, and haunted that +neighbourhood. + +On a day in August, when Mr. Stryver (after notifying to his jackal +that "he had thought better of that marrying matter") had carried his +delicacy into Devonshire, and when the sight and scent of flowers in the +City streets had some waifs of goodness in them for the worst, of health +for the sickliest, and of youth for the oldest, Sydney's feet still trod +those stones. From being irresolute and purposeless, his feet became +animated by an intention, and, in the working out of that intention, +they took him to the Doctor's door. + +He was shown up-stairs, and found Lucie at her work, alone. She had +never been quite at her ease with him, and received him with some little +embarrassment as he seated himself near her table. But, looking up at +his face in the interchange of the first few common-places, she observed +a change in it. + +"I fear you are not well, Mr. Carton!" + +"No. But the life I lead, Miss Manette, is not conducive to health. What +is to be expected of, or by, such profligates?" + +"Is it not--forgive me; I have begun the question on my lips--a pity to +live no better life?" + +"God knows it is a shame!" + +"Then why not change it?" + +Looking gently at him again, she was surprised and saddened to see that +there were tears in his eyes. There were tears in his voice too, as he +answered: + +"It is too late for that. I shall never be better than I am. I shall +sink lower, and be worse." + +He leaned an elbow on her table, and covered his eyes with his hand. The +table trembled in the silence that followed. + +She had never seen him softened, and was much distressed. He knew her to +be so, without looking at her, and said: + +"Pray forgive me, Miss Manette. I break down before the knowledge of +what I want to say to you. Will you hear me?" + +"If it will do you any good, Mr. Carton, if it would make you happier, +it would make me very glad!" + +"God bless you for your sweet compassion!" + +He unshaded his face after a little while, and spoke steadily. + +"Don't be afraid to hear me. Don't shrink from anything I say. I am like +one who died young. All my life might have been." + +"No, Mr. Carton. I am sure that the best part of it might still be; I am +sure that you might be much, much worthier of yourself." + +"Say of you, Miss Manette, and although I know better--although in the +mystery of my own wretched heart I know better--I shall never forget +it!" + +She was pale and trembling. He came to her relief with a fixed despair +of himself which made the interview unlike any other that could have +been holden. + +"If it had been possible, Miss Manette, that you could have returned the +love of the man you see before yourself--flung away, wasted, drunken, +poor creature of misuse as you know him to be--he would have been +conscious this day and hour, in spite of his happiness, that he would +bring you to misery, bring you to sorrow and repentance, blight you, +disgrace you, pull you down with him. I know very well that you can have +no tenderness for me; I ask for none; I am even thankful that it cannot +be." + +"Without it, can I not save you, Mr. Carton? Can I not recall +you--forgive me again!--to a better course? Can I in no way repay your +confidence? I know this is a confidence," she modestly said, after a +little hesitation, and in earnest tears, "I know you would say this to +no one else. Can I turn it to no good account for yourself, Mr. Carton?" + +He shook his head. + +"To none. No, Miss Manette, to none. If you will hear me through a very +little more, all you can ever do for me is done. I wish you to know that +you have been the last dream of my soul. In my degradation I have not +been so degraded but that the sight of you with your father, and of this +home made such a home by you, has stirred old shadows that I thought had +died out of me. Since I knew you, I have been troubled by a remorse that +I thought would never reproach me again, and have heard whispers from +old voices impelling me upward, that I thought were silent for ever. I +have had unformed ideas of striving afresh, beginning anew, shaking off +sloth and sensuality, and fighting out the abandoned fight. A dream, all +a dream, that ends in nothing, and leaves the sleeper where he lay down, +but I wish you to know that you inspired it." + +"Will nothing of it remain? O Mr. Carton, think again! Try again!" + +"No, Miss Manette; all through it, I have known myself to be quite +undeserving. And yet I have had the weakness, and have still the +weakness, to wish you to know with what a sudden mastery you kindled me, +heap of ashes that I am, into fire--a fire, however, inseparable in +its nature from myself, quickening nothing, lighting nothing, doing no +service, idly burning away." + +"Since it is my misfortune, Mr. Carton, to have made you more unhappy +than you were before you knew me--" + +"Don't say that, Miss Manette, for you would have reclaimed me, if +anything could. You will not be the cause of my becoming worse." + +"Since the state of your mind that you describe, is, at all events, +attributable to some influence of mine--this is what I mean, if I can +make it plain--can I use no influence to serve you? Have I no power for +good, with you, at all?" + +"The utmost good that I am capable of now, Miss Manette, I have come +here to realise. Let me carry through the rest of my misdirected life, +the remembrance that I opened my heart to you, last of all the world; +and that there was something left in me at this time which you could +deplore and pity." + +"Which I entreated you to believe, again and again, most fervently, with +all my heart, was capable of better things, Mr. Carton!" + +"Entreat me to believe it no more, Miss Manette. I have proved myself, +and I know better. I distress you; I draw fast to an end. Will you let +me believe, when I recall this day, that the last confidence of my life +was reposed in your pure and innocent breast, and that it lies there +alone, and will be shared by no one?" + +"If that will be a consolation to you, yes." + +"Not even by the dearest one ever to be known to you?" + +"Mr. Carton," she answered, after an agitated pause, "the secret is +yours, not mine; and I promise to respect it." + +"Thank you. And again, God bless you." + +He put her hand to his lips, and moved towards the door. + +"Be under no apprehension, Miss Manette, of my ever resuming this +conversation by so much as a passing word. I will never refer to it +again. If I were dead, that could not be surer than it is henceforth. In +the hour of my death, I shall hold sacred the one good remembrance--and +shall thank and bless you for it--that my last avowal of myself was made +to you, and that my name, and faults, and miseries were gently carried +in your heart. May it otherwise be light and happy!" + +He was so unlike what he had ever shown himself to be, and it was so +sad to think how much he had thrown away, and how much he every day kept +down and perverted, that Lucie Manette wept mournfully for him as he +stood looking back at her. + +"Be comforted!" he said, "I am not worth such feeling, Miss Manette. An +hour or two hence, and the low companions and low habits that I scorn +but yield to, will render me less worth such tears as those, than any +wretch who creeps along the streets. Be comforted! But, within myself, I +shall always be, towards you, what I am now, though outwardly I shall be +what you have heretofore seen me. The last supplication but one I make +to you, is, that you will believe this of me." + +"I will, Mr. Carton." + +"My last supplication of all, is this; and with it, I will relieve +you of a visitor with whom I well know you have nothing in unison, and +between whom and you there is an impassable space. It is useless to say +it, I know, but it rises out of my soul. For you, and for any dear to +you, I would do anything. If my career were of that better kind that +there was any opportunity or capacity of sacrifice in it, I would +embrace any sacrifice for you and for those dear to you. Try to hold +me in your mind, at some quiet times, as ardent and sincere in this one +thing. The time will come, the time will not be long in coming, when new +ties will be formed about you--ties that will bind you yet more tenderly +and strongly to the home you so adorn--the dearest ties that will ever +grace and gladden you. O Miss Manette, when the little picture of a +happy father's face looks up in yours, when you see your own bright +beauty springing up anew at your feet, think now and then that there is +a man who would give his life, to keep a life you love beside you!" + +He said, "Farewell!" said a last "God bless you!" and left her. + + + + +XIV. The Honest Tradesman + + +To the eyes of Mr. Jeremiah Cruncher, sitting on his stool in +Fleet-street with his grisly urchin beside him, a vast number and +variety of objects in movement were every day presented. Who could sit +upon anything in Fleet-street during the busy hours of the day, and +not be dazed and deafened by two immense processions, one ever tending +westward with the sun, the other ever tending eastward from the sun, +both ever tending to the plains beyond the range of red and purple where +the sun goes down! + +With his straw in his mouth, Mr. Cruncher sat watching the two streams, +like the heathen rustic who has for several centuries been on duty +watching one stream--saving that Jerry had no expectation of their ever +running dry. Nor would it have been an expectation of a hopeful kind, +since a small part of his income was derived from the pilotage of timid +women (mostly of a full habit and past the middle term of life) from +Tellson's side of the tides to the opposite shore. Brief as such +companionship was in every separate instance, Mr. Cruncher never failed +to become so interested in the lady as to express a strong desire to +have the honour of drinking her very good health. And it was from +the gifts bestowed upon him towards the execution of this benevolent +purpose, that he recruited his finances, as just now observed. + +Time was, when a poet sat upon a stool in a public place, and mused in +the sight of men. Mr. Cruncher, sitting on a stool in a public place, +but not being a poet, mused as little as possible, and looked about him. + +It fell out that he was thus engaged in a season when crowds were +few, and belated women few, and when his affairs in general were so +unprosperous as to awaken a strong suspicion in his breast that Mrs. +Cruncher must have been "flopping" in some pointed manner, when an +unusual concourse pouring down Fleet-street westward, attracted his +attention. Looking that way, Mr. Cruncher made out that some kind of +funeral was coming along, and that there was popular objection to this +funeral, which engendered uproar. + +"Young Jerry," said Mr. Cruncher, turning to his offspring, "it's a +buryin'." + +"Hooroar, father!" cried Young Jerry. + +The young gentleman uttered this exultant sound with mysterious +significance. The elder gentleman took the cry so ill, that he watched +his opportunity, and smote the young gentleman on the ear. + +"What d'ye mean? What are you hooroaring at? What do you want to conwey +to your own father, you young Rip? This boy is a getting too many for +_me_!" said Mr. Cruncher, surveying him. "Him and his hooroars! Don't +let me hear no more of you, or you shall feel some more of me. D'ye +hear?" + +"I warn't doing no harm," Young Jerry protested, rubbing his cheek. + +"Drop it then," said Mr. Cruncher; "I won't have none of _your_ no +harms. Get a top of that there seat, and look at the crowd." + +His son obeyed, and the crowd approached; they were bawling and hissing +round a dingy hearse and dingy mourning coach, in which mourning coach +there was only one mourner, dressed in the dingy trappings that were +considered essential to the dignity of the position. The position +appeared by no means to please him, however, with an increasing rabble +surrounding the coach, deriding him, making grimaces at him, and +incessantly groaning and calling out: "Yah! Spies! Tst! Yaha! Spies!" +with many compliments too numerous and forcible to repeat. + +Funerals had at all times a remarkable attraction for Mr. Cruncher; he +always pricked up his senses, and became excited, when a funeral passed +Tellson's. Naturally, therefore, a funeral with this uncommon attendance +excited him greatly, and he asked of the first man who ran against him: + +"What is it, brother? What's it about?" + +"_I_ don't know," said the man. "Spies! Yaha! Tst! Spies!" + +He asked another man. "Who is it?" + +"_I_ don't know," returned the man, clapping his hands to his mouth +nevertheless, and vociferating in a surprising heat and with the +greatest ardour, "Spies! Yaha! Tst, tst! Spi--ies!" + +At length, a person better informed on the merits of the case, tumbled +against him, and from this person he learned that the funeral was the +funeral of one Roger Cly. + +"Was He a spy?" asked Mr. Cruncher. + +"Old Bailey spy," returned his informant. "Yaha! Tst! Yah! Old Bailey +Spi--i--ies!" + +"Why, to be sure!" exclaimed Jerry, recalling the Trial at which he had +assisted. "I've seen him. Dead, is he?" + +"Dead as mutton," returned the other, "and can't be too dead. Have 'em +out, there! Spies! Pull 'em out, there! Spies!" + +The idea was so acceptable in the prevalent absence of any idea, +that the crowd caught it up with eagerness, and loudly repeating the +suggestion to have 'em out, and to pull 'em out, mobbed the two vehicles +so closely that they came to a stop. On the crowd's opening the coach +doors, the one mourner scuffled out of himself and was in their hands +for a moment; but he was so alert, and made such good use of his time, +that in another moment he was scouring away up a bye-street, after +shedding his cloak, hat, long hatband, white pocket-handkerchief, and +other symbolical tears. + +These, the people tore to pieces and scattered far and wide with great +enjoyment, while the tradesmen hurriedly shut up their shops; for a +crowd in those times stopped at nothing, and was a monster much dreaded. +They had already got the length of opening the hearse to take the coffin +out, when some brighter genius proposed instead, its being escorted to +its destination amidst general rejoicing. Practical suggestions being +much needed, this suggestion, too, was received with acclamation, and +the coach was immediately filled with eight inside and a dozen out, +while as many people got on the roof of the hearse as could by any +exercise of ingenuity stick upon it. Among the first of these volunteers +was Jerry Cruncher himself, who modestly concealed his spiky head from +the observation of Tellson's, in the further corner of the mourning +coach. + +The officiating undertakers made some protest against these changes in +the ceremonies; but, the river being alarmingly near, and several voices +remarking on the efficacy of cold immersion in bringing refractory +members of the profession to reason, the protest was faint and brief. +The remodelled procession started, with a chimney-sweep driving the +hearse--advised by the regular driver, who was perched beside him, under +close inspection, for the purpose--and with a pieman, also attended +by his cabinet minister, driving the mourning coach. A bear-leader, a +popular street character of the time, was impressed as an additional +ornament, before the cavalcade had gone far down the Strand; and his +bear, who was black and very mangy, gave quite an Undertaking air to +that part of the procession in which he walked. + +Thus, with beer-drinking, pipe-smoking, song-roaring, and infinite +caricaturing of woe, the disorderly procession went its way, recruiting +at every step, and all the shops shutting up before it. Its destination +was the old church of Saint Pancras, far off in the fields. It got there +in course of time; insisted on pouring into the burial-ground; finally, +accomplished the interment of the deceased Roger Cly in its own way, and +highly to its own satisfaction. + +The dead man disposed of, and the crowd being under the necessity of +providing some other entertainment for itself, another brighter +genius (or perhaps the same) conceived the humour of impeaching casual +passers-by, as Old Bailey spies, and wreaking vengeance on them. Chase +was given to some scores of inoffensive persons who had never been near +the Old Bailey in their lives, in the realisation of this fancy, and +they were roughly hustled and maltreated. The transition to the sport of +window-breaking, and thence to the plundering of public-houses, was easy +and natural. At last, after several hours, when sundry summer-houses had +been pulled down, and some area-railings had been torn up, to arm +the more belligerent spirits, a rumour got about that the Guards were +coming. Before this rumour, the crowd gradually melted away, and perhaps +the Guards came, and perhaps they never came, and this was the usual +progress of a mob. + +Mr. Cruncher did not assist at the closing sports, but had remained +behind in the churchyard, to confer and condole with the undertakers. +The place had a soothing influence on him. He procured a pipe from a +neighbouring public-house, and smoked it, looking in at the railings and +maturely considering the spot. + +"Jerry," said Mr. Cruncher, apostrophising himself in his usual way, +"you see that there Cly that day, and you see with your own eyes that he +was a young 'un and a straight made 'un." + +Having smoked his pipe out, and ruminated a little longer, he turned +himself about, that he might appear, before the hour of closing, on his +station at Tellson's. Whether his meditations on mortality had touched +his liver, or whether his general health had been previously at all +amiss, or whether he desired to show a little attention to an eminent +man, is not so much to the purpose, as that he made a short call upon +his medical adviser--a distinguished surgeon--on his way back. + +Young Jerry relieved his father with dutiful interest, and reported No +job in his absence. The bank closed, the ancient clerks came out, the +usual watch was set, and Mr. Cruncher and his son went home to tea. + +"Now, I tell you where it is!" said Mr. Cruncher to his wife, on +entering. "If, as a honest tradesman, my wenturs goes wrong to-night, I +shall make sure that you've been praying again me, and I shall work you +for it just the same as if I seen you do it." + +The dejected Mrs. Cruncher shook her head. + +"Why, you're at it afore my face!" said Mr. Cruncher, with signs of +angry apprehension. + +"I am saying nothing." + +"Well, then; don't meditate nothing. You might as well flop as meditate. +You may as well go again me one way as another. Drop it altogether." + +"Yes, Jerry." + +"Yes, Jerry," repeated Mr. Cruncher sitting down to tea. "Ah! It _is_ +yes, Jerry. That's about it. You may say yes, Jerry." + +Mr. Cruncher had no particular meaning in these sulky corroborations, +but made use of them, as people not unfrequently do, to express general +ironical dissatisfaction. + +"You and your yes, Jerry," said Mr. Cruncher, taking a bite out of his +bread-and-butter, and seeming to help it down with a large invisible +oyster out of his saucer. "Ah! I think so. I believe you." + +"You are going out to-night?" asked his decent wife, when he took +another bite. + +"Yes, I am." + +"May I go with you, father?" asked his son, briskly. + +"No, you mayn't. I'm a going--as your mother knows--a fishing. That's +where I'm going to. Going a fishing." + +"Your fishing-rod gets rayther rusty; don't it, father?" + +"Never you mind." + +"Shall you bring any fish home, father?" + +"If I don't, you'll have short commons, to-morrow," returned that +gentleman, shaking his head; "that's questions enough for you; I ain't a +going out, till you've been long abed." + +He devoted himself during the remainder of the evening to keeping a +most vigilant watch on Mrs. Cruncher, and sullenly holding her in +conversation that she might be prevented from meditating any petitions +to his disadvantage. With this view, he urged his son to hold her in +conversation also, and led the unfortunate woman a hard life by dwelling +on any causes of complaint he could bring against her, rather than +he would leave her for a moment to her own reflections. The devoutest +person could have rendered no greater homage to the efficacy of an +honest prayer than he did in this distrust of his wife. It was as if a +professed unbeliever in ghosts should be frightened by a ghost story. + +"And mind you!" said Mr. Cruncher. "No games to-morrow! If I, as a +honest tradesman, succeed in providing a jinte of meat or two, none +of your not touching of it, and sticking to bread. If I, as a honest +tradesman, am able to provide a little beer, none of your declaring +on water. When you go to Rome, do as Rome does. Rome will be a ugly +customer to you, if you don't. _I_'m your Rome, you know." + +Then he began grumbling again: + +"With your flying into the face of your own wittles and drink! I don't +know how scarce you mayn't make the wittles and drink here, by your +flopping tricks and your unfeeling conduct. Look at your boy: he _is_ +your'n, ain't he? He's as thin as a lath. Do you call yourself a mother, +and not know that a mother's first duty is to blow her boy out?" + +This touched Young Jerry on a tender place; who adjured his mother to +perform her first duty, and, whatever else she did or neglected, above +all things to lay especial stress on the discharge of that maternal +function so affectingly and delicately indicated by his other parent. + +Thus the evening wore away with the Cruncher family, until Young Jerry +was ordered to bed, and his mother, laid under similar injunctions, +obeyed them. Mr. Cruncher beguiled the earlier watches of the night with +solitary pipes, and did not start upon his excursion until nearly one +o'clock. Towards that small and ghostly hour, he rose up from his chair, +took a key out of his pocket, opened a locked cupboard, and brought +forth a sack, a crowbar of convenient size, a rope and chain, and other +fishing tackle of that nature. Disposing these articles about him +in skilful manner, he bestowed a parting defiance on Mrs. Cruncher, +extinguished the light, and went out. + +Young Jerry, who had only made a feint of undressing when he went to +bed, was not long after his father. Under cover of the darkness he +followed out of the room, followed down the stairs, followed down the +court, followed out into the streets. He was in no uneasiness concerning +his getting into the house again, for it was full of lodgers, and the +door stood ajar all night. + +Impelled by a laudable ambition to study the art and mystery of his +father's honest calling, Young Jerry, keeping as close to house fronts, +walls, and doorways, as his eyes were close to one another, held his +honoured parent in view. The honoured parent steering Northward, had not +gone far, when he was joined by another disciple of Izaak Walton, and +the two trudged on together. + +Within half an hour from the first starting, they were beyond the +winking lamps, and the more than winking watchmen, and were out upon a +lonely road. Another fisherman was picked up here--and that so silently, +that if Young Jerry had been superstitious, he might have supposed the +second follower of the gentle craft to have, all of a sudden, split +himself into two. + +The three went on, and Young Jerry went on, until the three stopped +under a bank overhanging the road. Upon the top of the bank was a low +brick wall, surmounted by an iron railing. In the shadow of bank and +wall the three turned out of the road, and up a blind lane, of which +the wall--there, risen to some eight or ten feet high--formed one side. +Crouching down in a corner, peeping up the lane, the next object that +Young Jerry saw, was the form of his honoured parent, pretty well +defined against a watery and clouded moon, nimbly scaling an iron gate. +He was soon over, and then the second fisherman got over, and then the +third. They all dropped softly on the ground within the gate, and lay +there a little--listening perhaps. Then, they moved away on their hands +and knees. + +It was now Young Jerry's turn to approach the gate: which he did, +holding his breath. Crouching down again in a corner there, and looking +in, he made out the three fishermen creeping through some rank grass! +and all the gravestones in the churchyard--it was a large churchyard +that they were in--looking on like ghosts in white, while the church +tower itself looked on like the ghost of a monstrous giant. They did not +creep far, before they stopped and stood upright. And then they began to +fish. + +They fished with a spade, at first. Presently the honoured parent +appeared to be adjusting some instrument like a great corkscrew. +Whatever tools they worked with, they worked hard, until the awful +striking of the church clock so terrified Young Jerry, that he made off, +with his hair as stiff as his father's. + +But, his long-cherished desire to know more about these matters, not +only stopped him in his running away, but lured him back again. They +were still fishing perseveringly, when he peeped in at the gate for +the second time; but, now they seemed to have got a bite. There was a +screwing and complaining sound down below, and their bent figures were +strained, as if by a weight. By slow degrees the weight broke away the +earth upon it, and came to the surface. Young Jerry very well knew what +it would be; but, when he saw it, and saw his honoured parent about to +wrench it open, he was so frightened, being new to the sight, that he +made off again, and never stopped until he had run a mile or more. + +He would not have stopped then, for anything less necessary than breath, +it being a spectral sort of race that he ran, and one highly desirable +to get to the end of. He had a strong idea that the coffin he had seen +was running after him; and, pictured as hopping on behind him, bolt +upright, upon its narrow end, always on the point of overtaking him +and hopping on at his side--perhaps taking his arm--it was a pursuer to +shun. It was an inconsistent and ubiquitous fiend too, for, while it +was making the whole night behind him dreadful, he darted out into the +roadway to avoid dark alleys, fearful of its coming hopping out of them +like a dropsical boy's Kite without tail and wings. It hid in doorways +too, rubbing its horrible shoulders against doors, and drawing them up +to its ears, as if it were laughing. It got into shadows on the road, +and lay cunningly on its back to trip him up. All this time it was +incessantly hopping on behind and gaining on him, so that when the boy +got to his own door he had reason for being half dead. And even then +it would not leave him, but followed him upstairs with a bump on every +stair, scrambled into bed with him, and bumped down, dead and heavy, on +his breast when he fell asleep. + +From his oppressed slumber, Young Jerry in his closet was awakened after +daybreak and before sunrise, by the presence of his father in the +family room. Something had gone wrong with him; at least, so Young Jerry +inferred, from the circumstance of his holding Mrs. Cruncher by the +ears, and knocking the back of her head against the head-board of the +bed. + +"I told you I would," said Mr. Cruncher, "and I did." + +"Jerry, Jerry, Jerry!" his wife implored. + +"You oppose yourself to the profit of the business," said Jerry, "and me +and my partners suffer. You was to honour and obey; why the devil don't +you?" + +"I try to be a good wife, Jerry," the poor woman protested, with tears. + +"Is it being a good wife to oppose your husband's business? Is it +honouring your husband to dishonour his business? Is it obeying your +husband to disobey him on the wital subject of his business?" + +"You hadn't taken to the dreadful business then, Jerry." + +"It's enough for you," retorted Mr. Cruncher, "to be the wife of a +honest tradesman, and not to occupy your female mind with calculations +when he took to his trade or when he didn't. A honouring and obeying +wife would let his trade alone altogether. Call yourself a religious +woman? If you're a religious woman, give me a irreligious one! You have +no more nat'ral sense of duty than the bed of this here Thames river has +of a pile, and similarly it must be knocked into you." + +The altercation was conducted in a low tone of voice, and terminated in +the honest tradesman's kicking off his clay-soiled boots, and lying down +at his length on the floor. After taking a timid peep at him lying on +his back, with his rusty hands under his head for a pillow, his son lay +down too, and fell asleep again. + +There was no fish for breakfast, and not much of anything else. Mr. +Cruncher was out of spirits, and out of temper, and kept an iron pot-lid +by him as a projectile for the correction of Mrs. Cruncher, in case +he should observe any symptoms of her saying Grace. He was brushed +and washed at the usual hour, and set off with his son to pursue his +ostensible calling. + +Young Jerry, walking with the stool under his arm at his father's side +along sunny and crowded Fleet-street, was a very different Young Jerry +from him of the previous night, running home through darkness and +solitude from his grim pursuer. His cunning was fresh with the day, +and his qualms were gone with the night--in which particulars it is not +improbable that he had compeers in Fleet-street and the City of London, +that fine morning. + +"Father," said Young Jerry, as they walked along: taking care to keep +at arm's length and to have the stool well between them: "what's a +Resurrection-Man?" + +Mr. Cruncher came to a stop on the pavement before he answered, "How +should I know?" + +"I thought you knowed everything, father," said the artless boy. + +"Hem! Well," returned Mr. Cruncher, going on again, and lifting off his +hat to give his spikes free play, "he's a tradesman." + +"What's his goods, father?" asked the brisk Young Jerry. + +"His goods," said Mr. Cruncher, after turning it over in his mind, "is a +branch of Scientific goods." + +"Persons' bodies, ain't it, father?" asked the lively boy. + +"I believe it is something of that sort," said Mr. Cruncher. + +"Oh, father, I should so like to be a Resurrection-Man when I'm quite +growed up!" + +Mr. Cruncher was soothed, but shook his head in a dubious and moral way. +"It depends upon how you dewelop your talents. Be careful to dewelop +your talents, and never to say no more than you can help to nobody, and +there's no telling at the present time what you may not come to be fit +for." As Young Jerry, thus encouraged, went on a few yards in advance, +to plant the stool in the shadow of the Bar, Mr. Cruncher added to +himself: "Jerry, you honest tradesman, there's hopes wot that boy will +yet be a blessing to you, and a recompense to you for his mother!" + + + + +XV. Knitting + + +There had been earlier drinking than usual in the wine-shop of Monsieur +Defarge. As early as six o'clock in the morning, sallow faces peeping +through its barred windows had descried other faces within, bending over +measures of wine. Monsieur Defarge sold a very thin wine at the best +of times, but it would seem to have been an unusually thin wine that +he sold at this time. A sour wine, moreover, or a souring, for its +influence on the mood of those who drank it was to make them gloomy. No +vivacious Bacchanalian flame leaped out of the pressed grape of Monsieur +Defarge: but, a smouldering fire that burnt in the dark, lay hidden in +the dregs of it. + +This had been the third morning in succession, on which there had been +early drinking at the wine-shop of Monsieur Defarge. It had begun +on Monday, and here was Wednesday come. There had been more of early +brooding than drinking; for, many men had listened and whispered and +slunk about there from the time of the opening of the door, who could +not have laid a piece of money on the counter to save their souls. These +were to the full as interested in the place, however, as if they could +have commanded whole barrels of wine; and they glided from seat to seat, +and from corner to corner, swallowing talk in lieu of drink, with greedy +looks. + +Notwithstanding an unusual flow of company, the master of the wine-shop +was not visible. He was not missed; for, nobody who crossed the +threshold looked for him, nobody asked for him, nobody wondered to see +only Madame Defarge in her seat, presiding over the distribution of +wine, with a bowl of battered small coins before her, as much defaced +and beaten out of their original impress as the small coinage of +humanity from whose ragged pockets they had come. + +A suspended interest and a prevalent absence of mind, were perhaps +observed by the spies who looked in at the wine-shop, as they looked in +at every place, high and low, from the king's palace to the criminal's +gaol. Games at cards languished, players at dominoes musingly built +towers with them, drinkers drew figures on the tables with spilt drops +of wine, Madame Defarge herself picked out the pattern on her sleeve +with her toothpick, and saw and heard something inaudible and invisible +a long way off. + +Thus, Saint Antoine in this vinous feature of his, until midday. It was +high noontide, when two dusty men passed through his streets and under +his swinging lamps: of whom, one was Monsieur Defarge: the other a +mender of roads in a blue cap. All adust and athirst, the two entered +the wine-shop. Their arrival had lighted a kind of fire in the breast +of Saint Antoine, fast spreading as they came along, which stirred and +flickered in flames of faces at most doors and windows. Yet, no one had +followed them, and no man spoke when they entered the wine-shop, though +the eyes of every man there were turned upon them. + +"Good day, gentlemen!" said Monsieur Defarge. + +It may have been a signal for loosening the general tongue. It elicited +an answering chorus of "Good day!" + +"It is bad weather, gentlemen," said Defarge, shaking his head. + +Upon which, every man looked at his neighbour, and then all cast down +their eyes and sat silent. Except one man, who got up and went out. + +"My wife," said Defarge aloud, addressing Madame Defarge: "I have +travelled certain leagues with this good mender of roads, called +Jacques. I met him--by accident--a day and half's journey out of Paris. +He is a good child, this mender of roads, called Jacques. Give him to +drink, my wife!" + +A second man got up and went out. Madame Defarge set wine before the +mender of roads called Jacques, who doffed his blue cap to the company, +and drank. In the breast of his blouse he carried some coarse dark +bread; he ate of this between whiles, and sat munching and drinking near +Madame Defarge's counter. A third man got up and went out. + +Defarge refreshed himself with a draught of wine--but, he took less +than was given to the stranger, as being himself a man to whom it was no +rarity--and stood waiting until the countryman had made his breakfast. +He looked at no one present, and no one now looked at him; not even +Madame Defarge, who had taken up her knitting, and was at work. + +"Have you finished your repast, friend?" he asked, in due season. + +"Yes, thank you." + +"Come, then! You shall see the apartment that I told you you could +occupy. It will suit you to a marvel." + +Out of the wine-shop into the street, out of the street into a +courtyard, out of the courtyard up a steep staircase, out of the +staircase into a garret--formerly the garret where a white-haired man +sat on a low bench, stooping forward and very busy, making shoes. + +No white-haired man was there now; but, the three men were there who had +gone out of the wine-shop singly. And between them and the white-haired +man afar off, was the one small link, that they had once looked in at +him through the chinks in the wall. + +Defarge closed the door carefully, and spoke in a subdued voice: + +"Jacques One, Jacques Two, Jacques Three! This is the witness +encountered by appointment, by me, Jacques Four. He will tell you all. +Speak, Jacques Five!" + +The mender of roads, blue cap in hand, wiped his swarthy forehead with +it, and said, "Where shall I commence, monsieur?" + +"Commence," was Monsieur Defarge's not unreasonable reply, "at the +commencement." + +"I saw him then, messieurs," began the mender of roads, "a year ago this +running summer, underneath the carriage of the Marquis, hanging by the +chain. Behold the manner of it. I leaving my work on the road, the sun +going to bed, the carriage of the Marquis slowly ascending the hill, he +hanging by the chain--like this." + +Again the mender of roads went through the whole performance; in which +he ought to have been perfect by that time, seeing that it had been +the infallible resource and indispensable entertainment of his village +during a whole year. + +Jacques One struck in, and asked if he had ever seen the man before? + +"Never," answered the mender of roads, recovering his perpendicular. + +Jacques Three demanded how he afterwards recognised him then? + +"By his tall figure," said the mender of roads, softly, and with his +finger at his nose. "When Monsieur the Marquis demands that evening, +'Say, what is he like?' I make response, 'Tall as a spectre.'" + +"You should have said, short as a dwarf," returned Jacques Two. + +"But what did I know? The deed was not then accomplished, neither did he +confide in me. Observe! Under those circumstances even, I do not +offer my testimony. Monsieur the Marquis indicates me with his finger, +standing near our little fountain, and says, 'To me! Bring that rascal!' +My faith, messieurs, I offer nothing." + +"He is right there, Jacques," murmured Defarge, to him who had +interrupted. "Go on!" + +"Good!" said the mender of roads, with an air of mystery. "The tall man +is lost, and he is sought--how many months? Nine, ten, eleven?" + +"No matter, the number," said Defarge. "He is well hidden, but at last +he is unluckily found. Go on!" + +"I am again at work upon the hill-side, and the sun is again about to +go to bed. I am collecting my tools to descend to my cottage down in the +village below, where it is already dark, when I raise my eyes, and see +coming over the hill six soldiers. In the midst of them is a tall man +with his arms bound--tied to his sides--like this!" + +With the aid of his indispensable cap, he represented a man with his +elbows bound fast at his hips, with cords that were knotted behind him. + +"I stand aside, messieurs, by my heap of stones, to see the soldiers +and their prisoner pass (for it is a solitary road, that, where any +spectacle is well worth looking at), and at first, as they approach, I +see no more than that they are six soldiers with a tall man bound, and +that they are almost black to my sight--except on the side of the sun +going to bed, where they have a red edge, messieurs. Also, I see that +their long shadows are on the hollow ridge on the opposite side of the +road, and are on the hill above it, and are like the shadows of giants. +Also, I see that they are covered with dust, and that the dust moves +with them as they come, tramp, tramp! But when they advance quite near +to me, I recognise the tall man, and he recognises me. Ah, but he would +be well content to precipitate himself over the hill-side once again, as +on the evening when he and I first encountered, close to the same spot!" + +He described it as if he were there, and it was evident that he saw it +vividly; perhaps he had not seen much in his life. + +"I do not show the soldiers that I recognise the tall man; he does not +show the soldiers that he recognises me; we do it, and we know it, with +our eyes. 'Come on!' says the chief of that company, pointing to the +village, 'bring him fast to his tomb!' and they bring him faster. I +follow. His arms are swelled because of being bound so tight, his wooden +shoes are large and clumsy, and he is lame. Because he is lame, and +consequently slow, they drive him with their guns--like this!" + +He imitated the action of a man's being impelled forward by the +butt-ends of muskets. + +"As they descend the hill like madmen running a race, he falls. They +laugh and pick him up again. His face is bleeding and covered with dust, +but he cannot touch it; thereupon they laugh again. They bring him into +the village; all the village runs to look; they take him past the mill, +and up to the prison; all the village sees the prison gate open in the +darkness of the night, and swallow him--like this!" + +He opened his mouth as wide as he could, and shut it with a sounding +snap of his teeth. Observant of his unwillingness to mar the effect by +opening it again, Defarge said, "Go on, Jacques." + +"All the village," pursued the mender of roads, on tiptoe and in a low +voice, "withdraws; all the village whispers by the fountain; all the +village sleeps; all the village dreams of that unhappy one, within the +locks and bars of the prison on the crag, and never to come out of it, +except to perish. In the morning, with my tools upon my shoulder, eating +my morsel of black bread as I go, I make a circuit by the prison, on +my way to my work. There I see him, high up, behind the bars of a lofty +iron cage, bloody and dusty as last night, looking through. He has no +hand free, to wave to me; I dare not call to him; he regards me like a +dead man." + +Defarge and the three glanced darkly at one another. The looks of all +of them were dark, repressed, and revengeful, as they listened to the +countryman's story; the manner of all of them, while it was secret, was +authoritative too. They had the air of a rough tribunal; Jacques One +and Two sitting on the old pallet-bed, each with his chin resting on +his hand, and his eyes intent on the road-mender; Jacques Three, equally +intent, on one knee behind them, with his agitated hand always gliding +over the network of fine nerves about his mouth and nose; Defarge +standing between them and the narrator, whom he had stationed in the +light of the window, by turns looking from him to them, and from them to +him. + +"Go on, Jacques," said Defarge. + +"He remains up there in his iron cage some days. The village looks +at him by stealth, for it is afraid. But it always looks up, from a +distance, at the prison on the crag; and in the evening, when the work +of the day is achieved and it assembles to gossip at the fountain, all +faces are turned towards the prison. Formerly, they were turned towards +the posting-house; now, they are turned towards the prison. They +whisper at the fountain, that although condemned to death he will not be +executed; they say that petitions have been presented in Paris, showing +that he was enraged and made mad by the death of his child; they say +that a petition has been presented to the King himself. What do I know? +It is possible. Perhaps yes, perhaps no." + +"Listen then, Jacques," Number One of that name sternly interposed. +"Know that a petition was presented to the King and Queen. All here, +yourself excepted, saw the King take it, in his carriage in the street, +sitting beside the Queen. It is Defarge whom you see here, who, at the +hazard of his life, darted out before the horses, with the petition in +his hand." + +"And once again listen, Jacques!" said the kneeling Number Three: +his fingers ever wandering over and over those fine nerves, with a +strikingly greedy air, as if he hungered for something--that was neither +food nor drink; "the guard, horse and foot, surrounded the petitioner, +and struck him blows. You hear?" + +"I hear, messieurs." + +"Go on then," said Defarge. + +"Again; on the other hand, they whisper at the fountain," resumed the +countryman, "that he is brought down into our country to be executed on +the spot, and that he will very certainly be executed. They even whisper +that because he has slain Monseigneur, and because Monseigneur was the +father of his tenants--serfs--what you will--he will be executed as a +parricide. One old man says at the fountain, that his right hand, armed +with the knife, will be burnt off before his face; that, into wounds +which will be made in his arms, his breast, and his legs, there will be +poured boiling oil, melted lead, hot resin, wax, and sulphur; finally, +that he will be torn limb from limb by four strong horses. That old man +says, all this was actually done to a prisoner who made an attempt on +the life of the late King, Louis Fifteen. But how do I know if he lies? +I am not a scholar." + +"Listen once again then, Jacques!" said the man with the restless hand +and the craving air. "The name of that prisoner was Damiens, and it was +all done in open day, in the open streets of this city of Paris; and +nothing was more noticed in the vast concourse that saw it done, than +the crowd of ladies of quality and fashion, who were full of eager +attention to the last--to the last, Jacques, prolonged until nightfall, +when he had lost two legs and an arm, and still breathed! And it was +done--why, how old are you?" + +"Thirty-five," said the mender of roads, who looked sixty. + +"It was done when you were more than ten years old; you might have seen +it." + +"Enough!" said Defarge, with grim impatience. "Long live the Devil! Go +on." + +"Well! Some whisper this, some whisper that; they speak of nothing else; +even the fountain appears to fall to that tune. At length, on Sunday +night when all the village is asleep, come soldiers, winding down from +the prison, and their guns ring on the stones of the little street. +Workmen dig, workmen hammer, soldiers laugh and sing; in the morning, by +the fountain, there is raised a gallows forty feet high, poisoning the +water." + +The mender of roads looked _through_ rather than _at_ the low ceiling, +and pointed as if he saw the gallows somewhere in the sky. + +"All work is stopped, all assemble there, nobody leads the cows out, +the cows are there with the rest. At midday, the roll of drums. Soldiers +have marched into the prison in the night, and he is in the midst +of many soldiers. He is bound as before, and in his mouth there is +a gag--tied so, with a tight string, making him look almost as if he +laughed." He suggested it, by creasing his face with his two thumbs, +from the corners of his mouth to his ears. "On the top of the gallows is +fixed the knife, blade upwards, with its point in the air. He is hanged +there forty feet high--and is left hanging, poisoning the water." + +They looked at one another, as he used his blue cap to wipe his face, +on which the perspiration had started afresh while he recalled the +spectacle. + +"It is frightful, messieurs. How can the women and the children draw +water! Who can gossip of an evening, under that shadow! Under it, have +I said? When I left the village, Monday evening as the sun was going to +bed, and looked back from the hill, the shadow struck across the church, +across the mill, across the prison--seemed to strike across the earth, +messieurs, to where the sky rests upon it!" + +The hungry man gnawed one of his fingers as he looked at the other +three, and his finger quivered with the craving that was on him. + +"That's all, messieurs. I left at sunset (as I had been warned to do), +and I walked on, that night and half next day, until I met (as I was +warned I should) this comrade. With him, I came on, now riding and now +walking, through the rest of yesterday and through last night. And here +you see me!" + +After a gloomy silence, the first Jacques said, "Good! You have acted +and recounted faithfully. Will you wait for us a little, outside the +door?" + +"Very willingly," said the mender of roads. Whom Defarge escorted to the +top of the stairs, and, leaving seated there, returned. + +The three had risen, and their heads were together when he came back to +the garret. + +"How say you, Jacques?" demanded Number One. "To be registered?" + +"To be registered, as doomed to destruction," returned Defarge. + +"Magnificent!" croaked the man with the craving. + +"The chateau, and all the race?" inquired the first. + +"The chateau and all the race," returned Defarge. "Extermination." + +The hungry man repeated, in a rapturous croak, "Magnificent!" and began +gnawing another finger. + +"Are you sure," asked Jacques Two, of Defarge, "that no embarrassment +can arise from our manner of keeping the register? Without doubt it is +safe, for no one beyond ourselves can decipher it; but shall we always +be able to decipher it--or, I ought to say, will she?" + +"Jacques," returned Defarge, drawing himself up, "if madame my wife +undertook to keep the register in her memory alone, she would not lose +a word of it--not a syllable of it. Knitted, in her own stitches and her +own symbols, it will always be as plain to her as the sun. Confide in +Madame Defarge. It would be easier for the weakest poltroon that lives, +to erase himself from existence, than to erase one letter of his name or +crimes from the knitted register of Madame Defarge." + +There was a murmur of confidence and approval, and then the man who +hungered, asked: "Is this rustic to be sent back soon? I hope so. He is +very simple; is he not a little dangerous?" + +"He knows nothing," said Defarge; "at least nothing more than would +easily elevate himself to a gallows of the same height. I charge myself +with him; let him remain with me; I will take care of him, and set him +on his road. He wishes to see the fine world--the King, the Queen, and +Court; let him see them on Sunday." + +"What?" exclaimed the hungry man, staring. "Is it a good sign, that he +wishes to see Royalty and Nobility?" + +"Jacques," said Defarge; "judiciously show a cat milk, if you wish her +to thirst for it. Judiciously show a dog his natural prey, if you wish +him to bring it down one day." + +Nothing more was said, and the mender of roads, being found already +dozing on the topmost stair, was advised to lay himself down on the +pallet-bed and take some rest. He needed no persuasion, and was soon +asleep. + +Worse quarters than Defarge's wine-shop, could easily have been found +in Paris for a provincial slave of that degree. Saving for a mysterious +dread of madame by which he was constantly haunted, his life was very +new and agreeable. But, madame sat all day at her counter, so expressly +unconscious of him, and so particularly determined not to perceive that +his being there had any connection with anything below the surface, that +he shook in his wooden shoes whenever his eye lighted on her. For, he +contended with himself that it was impossible to foresee what that lady +might pretend next; and he felt assured that if she should take it +into her brightly ornamented head to pretend that she had seen him do a +murder and afterwards flay the victim, she would infallibly go through +with it until the play was played out. + +Therefore, when Sunday came, the mender of roads was not enchanted +(though he said he was) to find that madame was to accompany monsieur +and himself to Versailles. It was additionally disconcerting to have +madame knitting all the way there, in a public conveyance; it was +additionally disconcerting yet, to have madame in the crowd in the +afternoon, still with her knitting in her hands as the crowd waited to +see the carriage of the King and Queen. + +"You work hard, madame," said a man near her. + +"Yes," answered Madame Defarge; "I have a good deal to do." + +"What do you make, madame?" + +"Many things." + +"For instance--" + +"For instance," returned Madame Defarge, composedly, "shrouds." + +The man moved a little further away, as soon as he could, and the mender +of roads fanned himself with his blue cap: feeling it mightily close +and oppressive. If he needed a King and Queen to restore him, he was +fortunate in having his remedy at hand; for, soon the large-faced King +and the fair-faced Queen came in their golden coach, attended by the +shining Bull's Eye of their Court, a glittering multitude of laughing +ladies and fine lords; and in jewels and silks and powder and splendour +and elegantly spurning figures and handsomely disdainful faces of both +sexes, the mender of roads bathed himself, so much to his temporary +intoxication, that he cried Long live the King, Long live the Queen, +Long live everybody and everything! as if he had never heard of +ubiquitous Jacques in his time. Then, there were gardens, courtyards, +terraces, fountains, green banks, more King and Queen, more Bull's Eye, +more lords and ladies, more Long live they all! until he absolutely wept +with sentiment. During the whole of this scene, which lasted some three +hours, he had plenty of shouting and weeping and sentimental company, +and throughout Defarge held him by the collar, as if to restrain him +from flying at the objects of his brief devotion and tearing them to +pieces. + +"Bravo!" said Defarge, clapping him on the back when it was over, like a +patron; "you are a good boy!" + +The mender of roads was now coming to himself, and was mistrustful of +having made a mistake in his late demonstrations; but no. + +"You are the fellow we want," said Defarge, in his ear; "you make +these fools believe that it will last for ever. Then, they are the more +insolent, and it is the nearer ended." + +"Hey!" cried the mender of roads, reflectively; "that's true." + +"These fools know nothing. While they despise your breath, and would +stop it for ever and ever, in you or in a hundred like you rather than +in one of their own horses or dogs, they only know what your breath +tells them. Let it deceive them, then, a little longer; it cannot +deceive them too much." + +Madame Defarge looked superciliously at the client, and nodded in +confirmation. + +"As to you," said she, "you would shout and shed tears for anything, if +it made a show and a noise. Say! Would you not?" + +"Truly, madame, I think so. For the moment." + +"If you were shown a great heap of dolls, and were set upon them to +pluck them to pieces and despoil them for your own advantage, you would +pick out the richest and gayest. Say! Would you not?" + +"Truly yes, madame." + +"Yes. And if you were shown a flock of birds, unable to fly, and were +set upon them to strip them of their feathers for your own advantage, +you would set upon the birds of the finest feathers; would you not?" + +"It is true, madame." + +"You have seen both dolls and birds to-day," said Madame Defarge, with +a wave of her hand towards the place where they had last been apparent; +"now, go home!" + + + + +XVI. Still Knitting + + +Madame Defarge and monsieur her husband returned amicably to the +bosom of Saint Antoine, while a speck in a blue cap toiled through the +darkness, and through the dust, and down the weary miles of avenue by +the wayside, slowly tending towards that point of the compass where +the chateau of Monsieur the Marquis, now in his grave, listened to +the whispering trees. Such ample leisure had the stone faces, now, +for listening to the trees and to the fountain, that the few village +scarecrows who, in their quest for herbs to eat and fragments of dead +stick to burn, strayed within sight of the great stone courtyard and +terrace staircase, had it borne in upon their starved fancy that +the expression of the faces was altered. A rumour just lived in the +village--had a faint and bare existence there, as its people had--that +when the knife struck home, the faces changed, from faces of pride to +faces of anger and pain; also, that when that dangling figure was hauled +up forty feet above the fountain, they changed again, and bore a cruel +look of being avenged, which they would henceforth bear for ever. In the +stone face over the great window of the bed-chamber where the murder +was done, two fine dints were pointed out in the sculptured nose, which +everybody recognised, and which nobody had seen of old; and on the +scarce occasions when two or three ragged peasants emerged from the +crowd to take a hurried peep at Monsieur the Marquis petrified, a +skinny finger would not have pointed to it for a minute, before they all +started away among the moss and leaves, like the more fortunate hares +who could find a living there. + +Chateau and hut, stone face and dangling figure, the red stain on the +stone floor, and the pure water in the village well--thousands of acres +of land--a whole province of France--all France itself--lay under the +night sky, concentrated into a faint hair-breadth line. So does a whole +world, with all its greatnesses and littlenesses, lie in a twinkling +star. And as mere human knowledge can split a ray of light and analyse +the manner of its composition, so, sublimer intelligences may read in +the feeble shining of this earth of ours, every thought and act, every +vice and virtue, of every responsible creature on it. + +The Defarges, husband and wife, came lumbering under the starlight, +in their public vehicle, to that gate of Paris whereunto their +journey naturally tended. There was the usual stoppage at the barrier +guardhouse, and the usual lanterns came glancing forth for the usual +examination and inquiry. Monsieur Defarge alighted; knowing one or two +of the soldiery there, and one of the police. The latter he was intimate +with, and affectionately embraced. + +When Saint Antoine had again enfolded the Defarges in his dusky wings, +and they, having finally alighted near the Saint's boundaries, were +picking their way on foot through the black mud and offal of his +streets, Madame Defarge spoke to her husband: + +"Say then, my friend; what did Jacques of the police tell thee?" + +"Very little to-night, but all he knows. There is another spy +commissioned for our quarter. There may be many more, for all that he +can say, but he knows of one." + +"Eh well!" said Madame Defarge, raising her eyebrows with a cool +business air. "It is necessary to register him. How do they call that +man?" + +"He is English." + +"So much the better. His name?" + +"Barsad," said Defarge, making it French by pronunciation. But, he had +been so careful to get it accurately, that he then spelt it with perfect +correctness. + +"Barsad," repeated madame. "Good. Christian name?" + +"John." + +"John Barsad," repeated madame, after murmuring it once to herself. +"Good. His appearance; is it known?" + +"Age, about forty years; height, about five feet nine; black hair; +complexion dark; generally, rather handsome visage; eyes dark, face +thin, long, and sallow; nose aquiline, but not straight, having a +peculiar inclination towards the left cheek; expression, therefore, +sinister." + +"Eh my faith. It is a portrait!" said madame, laughing. "He shall be +registered to-morrow." + +They turned into the wine-shop, which was closed (for it was midnight), +and where Madame Defarge immediately took her post at her desk, counted +the small moneys that had been taken during her absence, examined the +stock, went through the entries in the book, made other entries of +her own, checked the serving man in every possible way, and finally +dismissed him to bed. Then she turned out the contents of the bowl +of money for the second time, and began knotting them up in her +handkerchief, in a chain of separate knots, for safe keeping through the +night. All this while, Defarge, with his pipe in his mouth, walked +up and down, complacently admiring, but never interfering; in which +condition, indeed, as to the business and his domestic affairs, he +walked up and down through life. + +The night was hot, and the shop, close shut and surrounded by so foul a +neighbourhood, was ill-smelling. Monsieur Defarge's olfactory sense was +by no means delicate, but the stock of wine smelt much stronger than +it ever tasted, and so did the stock of rum and brandy and aniseed. He +whiffed the compound of scents away, as he put down his smoked-out pipe. + +"You are fatigued," said madame, raising her glance as she knotted the +money. "There are only the usual odours." + +"I am a little tired," her husband acknowledged. + +"You are a little depressed, too," said madame, whose quick eyes had +never been so intent on the accounts, but they had had a ray or two for +him. "Oh, the men, the men!" + +"But my dear!" began Defarge. + +"But my dear!" repeated madame, nodding firmly; "but my dear! You are +faint of heart to-night, my dear!" + +"Well, then," said Defarge, as if a thought were wrung out of his +breast, "it _is_ a long time." + +"It is a long time," repeated his wife; "and when is it not a long time? +Vengeance and retribution require a long time; it is the rule." + +"It does not take a long time to strike a man with Lightning," said +Defarge. + +"How long," demanded madame, composedly, "does it take to make and store +the lightning? Tell me." + +Defarge raised his head thoughtfully, as if there were something in that +too. + +"It does not take a long time," said madame, "for an earthquake to +swallow a town. Eh well! Tell me how long it takes to prepare the +earthquake?" + +"A long time, I suppose," said Defarge. + +"But when it is ready, it takes place, and grinds to pieces everything +before it. In the meantime, it is always preparing, though it is not +seen or heard. That is your consolation. Keep it." + +She tied a knot with flashing eyes, as if it throttled a foe. + +"I tell thee," said madame, extending her right hand, for emphasis, +"that although it is a long time on the road, it is on the road and +coming. I tell thee it never retreats, and never stops. I tell thee it +is always advancing. Look around and consider the lives of all the world +that we know, consider the faces of all the world that we know, consider +the rage and discontent to which the Jacquerie addresses itself with +more and more of certainty every hour. Can such things last? Bah! I mock +you." + +"My brave wife," returned Defarge, standing before her with his head +a little bent, and his hands clasped at his back, like a docile and +attentive pupil before his catechist, "I do not question all this. But +it has lasted a long time, and it is possible--you know well, my wife, +it is possible--that it may not come, during our lives." + +"Eh well! How then?" demanded madame, tying another knot, as if there +were another enemy strangled. + +"Well!" said Defarge, with a half complaining and half apologetic shrug. +"We shall not see the triumph." + +"We shall have helped it," returned madame, with her extended hand in +strong action. "Nothing that we do, is done in vain. I believe, with all +my soul, that we shall see the triumph. But even if not, even if I knew +certainly not, show me the neck of an aristocrat and tyrant, and still I +would--" + +Then madame, with her teeth set, tied a very terrible knot indeed. + +"Hold!" cried Defarge, reddening a little as if he felt charged with +cowardice; "I too, my dear, will stop at nothing." + +"Yes! But it is your weakness that you sometimes need to see your victim +and your opportunity, to sustain you. Sustain yourself without that. +When the time comes, let loose a tiger and a devil; but wait for the +time with the tiger and the devil chained--not shown--yet always ready." + +Madame enforced the conclusion of this piece of advice by striking her +little counter with her chain of money as if she knocked its brains +out, and then gathering the heavy handkerchief under her arm in a serene +manner, and observing that it was time to go to bed. + +Next noontide saw the admirable woman in her usual place in the +wine-shop, knitting away assiduously. A rose lay beside her, and if she +now and then glanced at the flower, it was with no infraction of her +usual preoccupied air. There were a few customers, drinking or not +drinking, standing or seated, sprinkled about. The day was very hot, +and heaps of flies, who were extending their inquisitive and adventurous +perquisitions into all the glutinous little glasses near madame, fell +dead at the bottom. Their decease made no impression on the other flies +out promenading, who looked at them in the coolest manner (as if they +themselves were elephants, or something as far removed), until they met +the same fate. Curious to consider how heedless flies are!--perhaps they +thought as much at Court that sunny summer day. + +A figure entering at the door threw a shadow on Madame Defarge which she +felt to be a new one. She laid down her knitting, and began to pin her +rose in her head-dress, before she looked at the figure. + +It was curious. The moment Madame Defarge took up the rose, the +customers ceased talking, and began gradually to drop out of the +wine-shop. + +"Good day, madame," said the new-comer. + +"Good day, monsieur." + +She said it aloud, but added to herself, as she resumed her knitting: +"Hah! Good day, age about forty, height about five feet nine, black +hair, generally rather handsome visage, complexion dark, eyes dark, +thin, long and sallow face, aquiline nose but not straight, having a +peculiar inclination towards the left cheek which imparts a sinister +expression! Good day, one and all!" + +"Have the goodness to give me a little glass of old cognac, and a +mouthful of cool fresh water, madame." + +Madame complied with a polite air. + +"Marvellous cognac this, madame!" + +It was the first time it had ever been so complimented, and Madame +Defarge knew enough of its antecedents to know better. She said, +however, that the cognac was flattered, and took up her knitting. The +visitor watched her fingers for a few moments, and took the opportunity +of observing the place in general. + +"You knit with great skill, madame." + +"I am accustomed to it." + +"A pretty pattern too!" + +"_You_ think so?" said madame, looking at him with a smile. + +"Decidedly. May one ask what it is for?" + +"Pastime," said madame, still looking at him with a smile while her +fingers moved nimbly. + +"Not for use?" + +"That depends. I may find a use for it one day. If I do--Well," said +madame, drawing a breath and nodding her head with a stern kind of +coquetry, "I'll use it!" + +It was remarkable; but, the taste of Saint Antoine seemed to be +decidedly opposed to a rose on the head-dress of Madame Defarge. Two +men had entered separately, and had been about to order drink, when, +catching sight of that novelty, they faltered, made a pretence of +looking about as if for some friend who was not there, and went away. +Nor, of those who had been there when this visitor entered, was there +one left. They had all dropped off. The spy had kept his eyes open, +but had been able to detect no sign. They had lounged away in a +poverty-stricken, purposeless, accidental manner, quite natural and +unimpeachable. + +"_John_," thought madame, checking off her work as her fingers knitted, +and her eyes looked at the stranger. "Stay long enough, and I shall knit +'BARSAD' before you go." + +"You have a husband, madame?" + +"I have." + +"Children?" + +"No children." + +"Business seems bad?" + +"Business is very bad; the people are so poor." + +"Ah, the unfortunate, miserable people! So oppressed, too--as you say." + +"As _you_ say," madame retorted, correcting him, and deftly knitting an +extra something into his name that boded him no good. + +"Pardon me; certainly it was I who said so, but you naturally think so. +Of course." + +"_I_ think?" returned madame, in a high voice. "I and my husband have +enough to do to keep this wine-shop open, without thinking. All we +think, here, is how to live. That is the subject _we_ think of, and +it gives us, from morning to night, enough to think about, without +embarrassing our heads concerning others. _I_ think for others? No, no." + +The spy, who was there to pick up any crumbs he could find or make, did +not allow his baffled state to express itself in his sinister face; but, +stood with an air of gossiping gallantry, leaning his elbow on Madame +Defarge's little counter, and occasionally sipping his cognac. + +"A bad business this, madame, of Gaspard's execution. Ah! the poor +Gaspard!" With a sigh of great compassion. + +"My faith!" returned madame, coolly and lightly, "if people use knives +for such purposes, they have to pay for it. He knew beforehand what the +price of his luxury was; he has paid the price." + +"I believe," said the spy, dropping his soft voice to a tone +that invited confidence, and expressing an injured revolutionary +susceptibility in every muscle of his wicked face: "I believe there +is much compassion and anger in this neighbourhood, touching the poor +fellow? Between ourselves." + +"Is there?" asked madame, vacantly. + +"Is there not?" + +"--Here is my husband!" said Madame Defarge. + +As the keeper of the wine-shop entered at the door, the spy saluted +him by touching his hat, and saying, with an engaging smile, "Good day, +Jacques!" Defarge stopped short, and stared at him. + +"Good day, Jacques!" the spy repeated; with not quite so much +confidence, or quite so easy a smile under the stare. + +"You deceive yourself, monsieur," returned the keeper of the wine-shop. +"You mistake me for another. That is not my name. I am Ernest Defarge." + +"It is all the same," said the spy, airily, but discomfited too: "good +day!" + +"Good day!" answered Defarge, drily. + +"I was saying to madame, with whom I had the pleasure of chatting when +you entered, that they tell me there is--and no wonder!--much sympathy +and anger in Saint Antoine, touching the unhappy fate of poor Gaspard." + +"No one has told me so," said Defarge, shaking his head. "I know nothing +of it." + +Having said it, he passed behind the little counter, and stood with his +hand on the back of his wife's chair, looking over that barrier at the +person to whom they were both opposed, and whom either of them would +have shot with the greatest satisfaction. + +The spy, well used to his business, did not change his unconscious +attitude, but drained his little glass of cognac, took a sip of fresh +water, and asked for another glass of cognac. Madame Defarge poured it +out for him, took to her knitting again, and hummed a little song over +it. + +"You seem to know this quarter well; that is to say, better than I do?" +observed Defarge. + +"Not at all, but I hope to know it better. I am so profoundly interested +in its miserable inhabitants." + +"Hah!" muttered Defarge. + +"The pleasure of conversing with you, Monsieur Defarge, recalls to me," +pursued the spy, "that I have the honour of cherishing some interesting +associations with your name." + +"Indeed!" said Defarge, with much indifference. + +"Yes, indeed. When Doctor Manette was released, you, his old domestic, +had the charge of him, I know. He was delivered to you. You see I am +informed of the circumstances?" + +"Such is the fact, certainly," said Defarge. He had had it conveyed +to him, in an accidental touch of his wife's elbow as she knitted and +warbled, that he would do best to answer, but always with brevity. + +"It was to you," said the spy, "that his daughter came; and it was +from your care that his daughter took him, accompanied by a neat brown +monsieur; how is he called?--in a little wig--Lorry--of the bank of +Tellson and Company--over to England." + +"Such is the fact," repeated Defarge. + +"Very interesting remembrances!" said the spy. "I have known Doctor +Manette and his daughter, in England." + +"Yes?" said Defarge. + +"You don't hear much about them now?" said the spy. + +"No," said Defarge. + +"In effect," madame struck in, looking up from her work and her little +song, "we never hear about them. We received the news of their safe +arrival, and perhaps another letter, or perhaps two; but, since then, +they have gradually taken their road in life--we, ours--and we have held +no correspondence." + +"Perfectly so, madame," replied the spy. "She is going to be married." + +"Going?" echoed madame. "She was pretty enough to have been married long +ago. You English are cold, it seems to me." + +"Oh! You know I am English." + +"I perceive your tongue is," returned madame; "and what the tongue is, I +suppose the man is." + +He did not take the identification as a compliment; but he made the best +of it, and turned it off with a laugh. After sipping his cognac to the +end, he added: + +"Yes, Miss Manette is going to be married. But not to an Englishman; to +one who, like herself, is French by birth. And speaking of Gaspard (ah, +poor Gaspard! It was cruel, cruel!), it is a curious thing that she is +going to marry the nephew of Monsieur the Marquis, for whom Gaspard +was exalted to that height of so many feet; in other words, the present +Marquis. But he lives unknown in England, he is no Marquis there; he is +Mr. Charles Darnay. D'Aulnais is the name of his mother's family." + +Madame Defarge knitted steadily, but the intelligence had a palpable +effect upon her husband. Do what he would, behind the little counter, +as to the striking of a light and the lighting of his pipe, he was +troubled, and his hand was not trustworthy. The spy would have been no +spy if he had failed to see it, or to record it in his mind. + +Having made, at least, this one hit, whatever it might prove to be +worth, and no customers coming in to help him to any other, Mr. Barsad +paid for what he had drunk, and took his leave: taking occasion to say, +in a genteel manner, before he departed, that he looked forward to the +pleasure of seeing Monsieur and Madame Defarge again. For some minutes +after he had emerged into the outer presence of Saint Antoine, the +husband and wife remained exactly as he had left them, lest he should +come back. + +"Can it be true," said Defarge, in a low voice, looking down at his wife +as he stood smoking with his hand on the back of her chair: "what he has +said of Ma'amselle Manette?" + +"As he has said it," returned madame, lifting her eyebrows a little, "it +is probably false. But it may be true." + +"If it is--" Defarge began, and stopped. + +"If it is?" repeated his wife. + +"--And if it does come, while we live to see it triumph--I hope, for her +sake, Destiny will keep her husband out of France." + +"Her husband's destiny," said Madame Defarge, with her usual composure, +"will take him where he is to go, and will lead him to the end that is +to end him. That is all I know." + +"But it is very strange--now, at least, is it not very strange"--said +Defarge, rather pleading with his wife to induce her to admit it, +"that, after all our sympathy for Monsieur her father, and herself, her +husband's name should be proscribed under your hand at this moment, by +the side of that infernal dog's who has just left us?" + +"Stranger things than that will happen when it does come," answered +madame. "I have them both here, of a certainty; and they are both here +for their merits; that is enough." + +She rolled up her knitting when she had said those words, and presently +took the rose out of the handkerchief that was wound about her head. +Either Saint Antoine had an instinctive sense that the objectionable +decoration was gone, or Saint Antoine was on the watch for its +disappearance; howbeit, the Saint took courage to lounge in, very +shortly afterwards, and the wine-shop recovered its habitual aspect. + +In the evening, at which season of all others Saint Antoine turned +himself inside out, and sat on door-steps and window-ledges, and came +to the corners of vile streets and courts, for a breath of air, Madame +Defarge with her work in her hand was accustomed to pass from place +to place and from group to group: a Missionary--there were many like +her--such as the world will do well never to breed again. All the women +knitted. They knitted worthless things; but, the mechanical work was a +mechanical substitute for eating and drinking; the hands moved for the +jaws and the digestive apparatus: if the bony fingers had been still, +the stomachs would have been more famine-pinched. + +But, as the fingers went, the eyes went, and the thoughts. And as Madame +Defarge moved on from group to group, all three went quicker and fiercer +among every little knot of women that she had spoken with, and left +behind. + +Her husband smoked at his door, looking after her with admiration. "A +great woman," said he, "a strong woman, a grand woman, a frightfully +grand woman!" + +Darkness closed around, and then came the ringing of church bells and +the distant beating of the military drums in the Palace Courtyard, as +the women sat knitting, knitting. Darkness encompassed them. Another +darkness was closing in as surely, when the church bells, then ringing +pleasantly in many an airy steeple over France, should be melted into +thundering cannon; when the military drums should be beating to drown a +wretched voice, that night all potent as the voice of Power and Plenty, +Freedom and Life. So much was closing in about the women who sat +knitting, knitting, that they their very selves were closing in around +a structure yet unbuilt, where they were to sit knitting, knitting, +counting dropping heads. + + + + +XVII. One Night + + +Never did the sun go down with a brighter glory on the quiet corner in +Soho, than one memorable evening when the Doctor and his daughter sat +under the plane-tree together. Never did the moon rise with a milder +radiance over great London, than on that night when it found them still +seated under the tree, and shone upon their faces through its leaves. + +Lucie was to be married to-morrow. She had reserved this last evening +for her father, and they sat alone under the plane-tree. + +"You are happy, my dear father?" + +"Quite, my child." + +They had said little, though they had been there a long time. When it +was yet light enough to work and read, she had neither engaged herself +in her usual work, nor had she read to him. She had employed herself in +both ways, at his side under the tree, many and many a time; but, this +time was not quite like any other, and nothing could make it so. + +"And I am very happy to-night, dear father. I am deeply happy in the +love that Heaven has so blessed--my love for Charles, and Charles's love +for me. But, if my life were not to be still consecrated to you, or +if my marriage were so arranged as that it would part us, even by +the length of a few of these streets, I should be more unhappy and +self-reproachful now than I can tell you. Even as it is--" + +Even as it was, she could not command her voice. + +In the sad moonlight, she clasped him by the neck, and laid her face +upon his breast. In the moonlight which is always sad, as the light of +the sun itself is--as the light called human life is--at its coming and +its going. + +"Dearest dear! Can you tell me, this last time, that you feel quite, +quite sure, no new affections of mine, and no new duties of mine, will +ever interpose between us? _I_ know it well, but do you know it? In your +own heart, do you feel quite certain?" + +Her father answered, with a cheerful firmness of conviction he could +scarcely have assumed, "Quite sure, my darling! More than that," he +added, as he tenderly kissed her: "my future is far brighter, Lucie, +seen through your marriage, than it could have been--nay, than it ever +was--without it." + +"If I could hope _that_, my father!--" + +"Believe it, love! Indeed it is so. Consider how natural and how plain +it is, my dear, that it should be so. You, devoted and young, cannot +fully appreciate the anxiety I have felt that your life should not be +wasted--" + +She moved her hand towards his lips, but he took it in his, and repeated +the word. + +"--wasted, my child--should not be wasted, struck aside from the +natural order of things--for my sake. Your unselfishness cannot entirely +comprehend how much my mind has gone on this; but, only ask yourself, +how could my happiness be perfect, while yours was incomplete?" + +"If I had never seen Charles, my father, I should have been quite happy +with you." + +He smiled at her unconscious admission that she would have been unhappy +without Charles, having seen him; and replied: + +"My child, you did see him, and it is Charles. If it had not been +Charles, it would have been another. Or, if it had been no other, I +should have been the cause, and then the dark part of my life would have +cast its shadow beyond myself, and would have fallen on you." + +It was the first time, except at the trial, of her ever hearing him +refer to the period of his suffering. It gave her a strange and new +sensation while his words were in her ears; and she remembered it long +afterwards. + +"See!" said the Doctor of Beauvais, raising his hand towards the moon. +"I have looked at her from my prison-window, when I could not bear her +light. I have looked at her when it has been such torture to me to think +of her shining upon what I had lost, that I have beaten my head against +my prison-walls. I have looked at her, in a state so dull and lethargic, +that I have thought of nothing but the number of horizontal lines I +could draw across her at the full, and the number of perpendicular lines +with which I could intersect them." He added in his inward and pondering +manner, as he looked at the moon, "It was twenty either way, I remember, +and the twentieth was difficult to squeeze in." + +The strange thrill with which she heard him go back to that time, +deepened as he dwelt upon it; but, there was nothing to shock her in +the manner of his reference. He only seemed to contrast his present +cheerfulness and felicity with the dire endurance that was over. + +"I have looked at her, speculating thousands of times upon the unborn +child from whom I had been rent. Whether it was alive. Whether it had +been born alive, or the poor mother's shock had killed it. Whether it +was a son who would some day avenge his father. (There was a time in my +imprisonment, when my desire for vengeance was unbearable.) Whether it +was a son who would never know his father's story; who might even live +to weigh the possibility of his father's having disappeared of his own +will and act. Whether it was a daughter who would grow to be a woman." + +She drew closer to him, and kissed his cheek and his hand. + +"I have pictured my daughter, to myself, as perfectly forgetful of +me--rather, altogether ignorant of me, and unconscious of me. I have +cast up the years of her age, year after year. I have seen her married +to a man who knew nothing of my fate. I have altogether perished from +the remembrance of the living, and in the next generation my place was a +blank." + +"My father! Even to hear that you had such thoughts of a daughter who +never existed, strikes to my heart as if I had been that child." + +"You, Lucie? It is out of the Consolation and restoration you have +brought to me, that these remembrances arise, and pass between us and +the moon on this last night.--What did I say just now?" + +"She knew nothing of you. She cared nothing for you." + +"So! But on other moonlight nights, when the sadness and the silence +have touched me in a different way--have affected me with something as +like a sorrowful sense of peace, as any emotion that had pain for its +foundations could--I have imagined her as coming to me in my cell, and +leading me out into the freedom beyond the fortress. I have seen her +image in the moonlight often, as I now see you; except that I never held +her in my arms; it stood between the little grated window and the door. +But, you understand that that was not the child I am speaking of?" + +"The figure was not; the--the--image; the fancy?" + +"No. That was another thing. It stood before my disturbed sense of +sight, but it never moved. The phantom that my mind pursued, was another +and more real child. Of her outward appearance I know no more than +that she was like her mother. The other had that likeness too--as you +have--but was not the same. Can you follow me, Lucie? Hardly, I think? +I doubt you must have been a solitary prisoner to understand these +perplexed distinctions." + +His collected and calm manner could not prevent her blood from running +cold, as he thus tried to anatomise his old condition. + +"In that more peaceful state, I have imagined her, in the moonlight, +coming to me and taking me out to show me that the home of her married +life was full of her loving remembrance of her lost father. My picture +was in her room, and I was in her prayers. Her life was active, +cheerful, useful; but my poor history pervaded it all." + +"I was that child, my father, I was not half so good, but in my love +that was I." + +"And she showed me her children," said the Doctor of Beauvais, "and +they had heard of me, and had been taught to pity me. When they passed +a prison of the State, they kept far from its frowning walls, and looked +up at its bars, and spoke in whispers. She could never deliver me; I +imagined that she always brought me back after showing me such things. +But then, blessed with the relief of tears, I fell upon my knees, and +blessed her." + +"I am that child, I hope, my father. O my dear, my dear, will you bless +me as fervently to-morrow?" + +"Lucie, I recall these old troubles in the reason that I have to-night +for loving you better than words can tell, and thanking God for my great +happiness. My thoughts, when they were wildest, never rose near the +happiness that I have known with you, and that we have before us." + +He embraced her, solemnly commended her to Heaven, and humbly thanked +Heaven for having bestowed her on him. By-and-bye, they went into the +house. + +There was no one bidden to the marriage but Mr. Lorry; there was even to +be no bridesmaid but the gaunt Miss Pross. The marriage was to make no +change in their place of residence; they had been able to extend it, +by taking to themselves the upper rooms formerly belonging to the +apocryphal invisible lodger, and they desired nothing more. + +Doctor Manette was very cheerful at the little supper. They were only +three at table, and Miss Pross made the third. He regretted that Charles +was not there; was more than half disposed to object to the loving +little plot that kept him away; and drank to him affectionately. + +So, the time came for him to bid Lucie good night, and they separated. +But, in the stillness of the third hour of the morning, Lucie came +downstairs again, and stole into his room; not free from unshaped fears, +beforehand. + +All things, however, were in their places; all was quiet; and he lay +asleep, his white hair picturesque on the untroubled pillow, and his +hands lying quiet on the coverlet. She put her needless candle in the +shadow at a distance, crept up to his bed, and put her lips to his; +then, leaned over him, and looked at him. + +Into his handsome face, the bitter waters of captivity had worn; but, he +covered up their tracks with a determination so strong, that he held the +mastery of them even in his sleep. A more remarkable face in its quiet, +resolute, and guarded struggle with an unseen assailant, was not to be +beheld in all the wide dominions of sleep, that night. + +She timidly laid her hand on his dear breast, and put up a prayer that +she might ever be as true to him as her love aspired to be, and as his +sorrows deserved. Then, she withdrew her hand, and kissed his lips once +more, and went away. So, the sunrise came, and the shadows of the leaves +of the plane-tree moved upon his face, as softly as her lips had moved +in praying for him. + + + + +XVIII. Nine Days + + +The marriage-day was shining brightly, and they were ready outside the +closed door of the Doctor's room, where he was speaking with Charles +Darnay. They were ready to go to church; the beautiful bride, Mr. +Lorry, and Miss Pross--to whom the event, through a gradual process of +reconcilement to the inevitable, would have been one of absolute bliss, +but for the yet lingering consideration that her brother Solomon should +have been the bridegroom. + +"And so," said Mr. Lorry, who could not sufficiently admire the bride, +and who had been moving round her to take in every point of her quiet, +pretty dress; "and so it was for this, my sweet Lucie, that I brought +you across the Channel, such a baby! Lord bless me! How little I thought +what I was doing! How lightly I valued the obligation I was conferring +on my friend Mr. Charles!" + +"You didn't mean it," remarked the matter-of-fact Miss Pross, "and +therefore how could you know it? Nonsense!" + +"Really? Well; but don't cry," said the gentle Mr. Lorry. + +"I am not crying," said Miss Pross; "_you_ are." + +"I, my Pross?" (By this time, Mr. Lorry dared to be pleasant with her, +on occasion.) + +"You were, just now; I saw you do it, and I don't wonder at it. Such +a present of plate as you have made 'em, is enough to bring tears into +anybody's eyes. There's not a fork or a spoon in the collection," said +Miss Pross, "that I didn't cry over, last night after the box came, till +I couldn't see it." + +"I am highly gratified," said Mr. Lorry, "though, upon my honour, I +had no intention of rendering those trifling articles of remembrance +invisible to any one. Dear me! This is an occasion that makes a man +speculate on all he has lost. Dear, dear, dear! To think that there +might have been a Mrs. Lorry, any time these fifty years almost!" + +"Not at all!" From Miss Pross. + +"You think there never might have been a Mrs. Lorry?" asked the +gentleman of that name. + +"Pooh!" rejoined Miss Pross; "you were a bachelor in your cradle." + +"Well!" observed Mr. Lorry, beamingly adjusting his little wig, "that +seems probable, too." + +"And you were cut out for a bachelor," pursued Miss Pross, "before you +were put in your cradle." + +"Then, I think," said Mr. Lorry, "that I was very unhandsomely dealt +with, and that I ought to have had a voice in the selection of my +pattern. Enough! Now, my dear Lucie," drawing his arm soothingly round +her waist, "I hear them moving in the next room, and Miss Pross and +I, as two formal folks of business, are anxious not to lose the final +opportunity of saying something to you that you wish to hear. You leave +your good father, my dear, in hands as earnest and as loving as your +own; he shall be taken every conceivable care of; during the next +fortnight, while you are in Warwickshire and thereabouts, even Tellson's +shall go to the wall (comparatively speaking) before him. And when, at +the fortnight's end, he comes to join you and your beloved husband, on +your other fortnight's trip in Wales, you shall say that we have sent +him to you in the best health and in the happiest frame. Now, I hear +Somebody's step coming to the door. Let me kiss my dear girl with an +old-fashioned bachelor blessing, before Somebody comes to claim his +own." + +For a moment, he held the fair face from him to look at the +well-remembered expression on the forehead, and then laid the bright +golden hair against his little brown wig, with a genuine tenderness and +delicacy which, if such things be old-fashioned, were as old as Adam. + +The door of the Doctor's room opened, and he came out with Charles +Darnay. He was so deadly pale--which had not been the case when they +went in together--that no vestige of colour was to be seen in his face. +But, in the composure of his manner he was unaltered, except that to the +shrewd glance of Mr. Lorry it disclosed some shadowy indication that the +old air of avoidance and dread had lately passed over him, like a cold +wind. + +He gave his arm to his daughter, and took her down-stairs to the chariot +which Mr. Lorry had hired in honour of the day. The rest followed in +another carriage, and soon, in a neighbouring church, where no strange +eyes looked on, Charles Darnay and Lucie Manette were happily married. + +Besides the glancing tears that shone among the smiles of the little +group when it was done, some diamonds, very bright and sparkling, +glanced on the bride's hand, which were newly released from the +dark obscurity of one of Mr. Lorry's pockets. They returned home to +breakfast, and all went well, and in due course the golden hair that had +mingled with the poor shoemaker's white locks in the Paris garret, were +mingled with them again in the morning sunlight, on the threshold of the +door at parting. + +It was a hard parting, though it was not for long. But her father +cheered her, and said at last, gently disengaging himself from her +enfolding arms, "Take her, Charles! She is yours!" + +And her agitated hand waved to them from a chaise window, and she was +gone. + +The corner being out of the way of the idle and curious, and the +preparations having been very simple and few, the Doctor, Mr. Lorry, +and Miss Pross, were left quite alone. It was when they turned into +the welcome shade of the cool old hall, that Mr. Lorry observed a great +change to have come over the Doctor; as if the golden arm uplifted +there, had struck him a poisoned blow. + +He had naturally repressed much, and some revulsion might have been +expected in him when the occasion for repression was gone. But, it was +the old scared lost look that troubled Mr. Lorry; and through his absent +manner of clasping his head and drearily wandering away into his own +room when they got up-stairs, Mr. Lorry was reminded of Defarge the +wine-shop keeper, and the starlight ride. + +"I think," he whispered to Miss Pross, after anxious consideration, "I +think we had best not speak to him just now, or at all disturb him. +I must look in at Tellson's; so I will go there at once and come back +presently. Then, we will take him a ride into the country, and dine +there, and all will be well." + +It was easier for Mr. Lorry to look in at Tellson's, than to look out of +Tellson's. He was detained two hours. When he came back, he ascended the +old staircase alone, having asked no question of the servant; going thus +into the Doctor's rooms, he was stopped by a low sound of knocking. + +"Good God!" he said, with a start. "What's that?" + +Miss Pross, with a terrified face, was at his ear. "O me, O me! All is +lost!" cried she, wringing her hands. "What is to be told to Ladybird? +He doesn't know me, and is making shoes!" + +Mr. Lorry said what he could to calm her, and went himself into the +Doctor's room. The bench was turned towards the light, as it had been +when he had seen the shoemaker at his work before, and his head was bent +down, and he was very busy. + +"Doctor Manette. My dear friend, Doctor Manette!" + +The Doctor looked at him for a moment--half inquiringly, half as if he +were angry at being spoken to--and bent over his work again. + +He had laid aside his coat and waistcoat; his shirt was open at the +throat, as it used to be when he did that work; and even the old +haggard, faded surface of face had come back to him. He worked +hard--impatiently--as if in some sense of having been interrupted. + +Mr. Lorry glanced at the work in his hand, and observed that it was a +shoe of the old size and shape. He took up another that was lying by +him, and asked what it was. + +"A young lady's walking shoe," he muttered, without looking up. "It +ought to have been finished long ago. Let it be." + +"But, Doctor Manette. Look at me!" + +He obeyed, in the old mechanically submissive manner, without pausing in +his work. + +"You know me, my dear friend? Think again. This is not your proper +occupation. Think, dear friend!" + +Nothing would induce him to speak more. He looked up, for an instant at +a time, when he was requested to do so; but, no persuasion would extract +a word from him. He worked, and worked, and worked, in silence, and +words fell on him as they would have fallen on an echoless wall, or on +the air. The only ray of hope that Mr. Lorry could discover, was, that +he sometimes furtively looked up without being asked. In that, there +seemed a faint expression of curiosity or perplexity--as though he were +trying to reconcile some doubts in his mind. + +Two things at once impressed themselves on Mr. Lorry, as important above +all others; the first, that this must be kept secret from Lucie; +the second, that it must be kept secret from all who knew him. In +conjunction with Miss Pross, he took immediate steps towards the latter +precaution, by giving out that the Doctor was not well, and required a +few days of complete rest. In aid of the kind deception to be practised +on his daughter, Miss Pross was to write, describing his having been +called away professionally, and referring to an imaginary letter of +two or three hurried lines in his own hand, represented to have been +addressed to her by the same post. + +These measures, advisable to be taken in any case, Mr. Lorry took in +the hope of his coming to himself. If that should happen soon, he kept +another course in reserve; which was, to have a certain opinion that he +thought the best, on the Doctor's case. + +In the hope of his recovery, and of resort to this third course +being thereby rendered practicable, Mr. Lorry resolved to watch him +attentively, with as little appearance as possible of doing so. He +therefore made arrangements to absent himself from Tellson's for the +first time in his life, and took his post by the window in the same +room. + +He was not long in discovering that it was worse than useless to speak +to him, since, on being pressed, he became worried. He abandoned that +attempt on the first day, and resolved merely to keep himself always +before him, as a silent protest against the delusion into which he had +fallen, or was falling. He remained, therefore, in his seat near the +window, reading and writing, and expressing in as many pleasant and +natural ways as he could think of, that it was a free place. + +Doctor Manette took what was given him to eat and drink, and worked on, +that first day, until it was too dark to see--worked on, half an hour +after Mr. Lorry could not have seen, for his life, to read or write. +When he put his tools aside as useless, until morning, Mr. Lorry rose +and said to him: + +"Will you go out?" + +He looked down at the floor on either side of him in the old manner, +looked up in the old manner, and repeated in the old low voice: + +"Out?" + +"Yes; for a walk with me. Why not?" + +He made no effort to say why not, and said not a word more. But, Mr. +Lorry thought he saw, as he leaned forward on his bench in the dusk, +with his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands, that he was in +some misty way asking himself, "Why not?" The sagacity of the man of +business perceived an advantage here, and determined to hold it. + +Miss Pross and he divided the night into two watches, and observed him +at intervals from the adjoining room. He paced up and down for a long +time before he lay down; but, when he did finally lay himself down, he +fell asleep. In the morning, he was up betimes, and went straight to his +bench and to work. + +On this second day, Mr. Lorry saluted him cheerfully by his name, +and spoke to him on topics that had been of late familiar to them. He +returned no reply, but it was evident that he heard what was said, and +that he thought about it, however confusedly. This encouraged Mr. Lorry +to have Miss Pross in with her work, several times during the day; +at those times, they quietly spoke of Lucie, and of her father then +present, precisely in the usual manner, and as if there were nothing +amiss. This was done without any demonstrative accompaniment, not long +enough, or often enough to harass him; and it lightened Mr. Lorry's +friendly heart to believe that he looked up oftener, and that he +appeared to be stirred by some perception of inconsistencies surrounding +him. + +When it fell dark again, Mr. Lorry asked him as before: + +"Dear Doctor, will you go out?" + +As before, he repeated, "Out?" + +"Yes; for a walk with me. Why not?" + +This time, Mr. Lorry feigned to go out when he could extract no answer +from him, and, after remaining absent for an hour, returned. In the +meanwhile, the Doctor had removed to the seat in the window, and had +sat there looking down at the plane-tree; but, on Mr. Lorry's return, he +slipped away to his bench. + +The time went very slowly on, and Mr. Lorry's hope darkened, and his +heart grew heavier again, and grew yet heavier and heavier every day. +The third day came and went, the fourth, the fifth. Five days, six days, +seven days, eight days, nine days. + +With a hope ever darkening, and with a heart always growing heavier and +heavier, Mr. Lorry passed through this anxious time. The secret was +well kept, and Lucie was unconscious and happy; but he could not fail to +observe that the shoemaker, whose hand had been a little out at first, +was growing dreadfully skilful, and that he had never been so intent on +his work, and that his hands had never been so nimble and expert, as in +the dusk of the ninth evening. + + + + +XIX. An Opinion + + +Worn out by anxious watching, Mr. Lorry fell asleep at his post. On the +tenth morning of his suspense, he was startled by the shining of the sun +into the room where a heavy slumber had overtaken him when it was dark +night. + +He rubbed his eyes and roused himself; but he doubted, when he had +done so, whether he was not still asleep. For, going to the door of the +Doctor's room and looking in, he perceived that the shoemaker's bench +and tools were put aside again, and that the Doctor himself sat reading +at the window. He was in his usual morning dress, and his face (which +Mr. Lorry could distinctly see), though still very pale, was calmly +studious and attentive. + +Even when he had satisfied himself that he was awake, Mr. Lorry felt +giddily uncertain for some few moments whether the late shoemaking might +not be a disturbed dream of his own; for, did not his eyes show him his +friend before him in his accustomed clothing and aspect, and employed +as usual; and was there any sign within their range, that the change of +which he had so strong an impression had actually happened? + +It was but the inquiry of his first confusion and astonishment, the +answer being obvious. If the impression were not produced by a real +corresponding and sufficient cause, how came he, Jarvis Lorry, there? +How came he to have fallen asleep, in his clothes, on the sofa in Doctor +Manette's consulting-room, and to be debating these points outside the +Doctor's bedroom door in the early morning? + +Within a few minutes, Miss Pross stood whispering at his side. If he +had had any particle of doubt left, her talk would of necessity have +resolved it; but he was by that time clear-headed, and had none. +He advised that they should let the time go by until the regular +breakfast-hour, and should then meet the Doctor as if nothing unusual +had occurred. If he appeared to be in his customary state of mind, Mr. +Lorry would then cautiously proceed to seek direction and guidance from +the opinion he had been, in his anxiety, so anxious to obtain. + +Miss Pross, submitting herself to his judgment, the scheme was worked +out with care. Having abundance of time for his usual methodical +toilette, Mr. Lorry presented himself at the breakfast-hour in his usual +white linen, and with his usual neat leg. The Doctor was summoned in the +usual way, and came to breakfast. + +So far as it was possible to comprehend him without overstepping those +delicate and gradual approaches which Mr. Lorry felt to be the only safe +advance, he at first supposed that his daughter's marriage had taken +place yesterday. An incidental allusion, purposely thrown out, to +the day of the week, and the day of the month, set him thinking and +counting, and evidently made him uneasy. In all other respects, however, +he was so composedly himself, that Mr. Lorry determined to have the aid +he sought. And that aid was his own. + +Therefore, when the breakfast was done and cleared away, and he and the +Doctor were left together, Mr. Lorry said, feelingly: + +"My dear Manette, I am anxious to have your opinion, in confidence, on a +very curious case in which I am deeply interested; that is to say, it is +very curious to me; perhaps, to your better information it may be less +so." + +Glancing at his hands, which were discoloured by his late work, the +Doctor looked troubled, and listened attentively. He had already glanced +at his hands more than once. + +"Doctor Manette," said Mr. Lorry, touching him affectionately on the +arm, "the case is the case of a particularly dear friend of mine. Pray +give your mind to it, and advise me well for his sake--and above all, +for his daughter's--his daughter's, my dear Manette." + +"If I understand," said the Doctor, in a subdued tone, "some mental +shock--?" + +"Yes!" + +"Be explicit," said the Doctor. "Spare no detail." + +Mr. Lorry saw that they understood one another, and proceeded. + +"My dear Manette, it is the case of an old and a prolonged shock, +of great acuteness and severity to the affections, the feelings, +the--the--as you express it--the mind. The mind. It is the case of a +shock under which the sufferer was borne down, one cannot say for how +long, because I believe he cannot calculate the time himself, and there +are no other means of getting at it. It is the case of a shock from +which the sufferer recovered, by a process that he cannot trace +himself--as I once heard him publicly relate in a striking manner. It is +the case of a shock from which he has recovered, so completely, as to +be a highly intelligent man, capable of close application of mind, and +great exertion of body, and of constantly making fresh additions to his +stock of knowledge, which was already very large. But, unfortunately, +there has been," he paused and took a deep breath--"a slight relapse." + +The Doctor, in a low voice, asked, "Of how long duration?" + +"Nine days and nights." + +"How did it show itself? I infer," glancing at his hands again, "in the +resumption of some old pursuit connected with the shock?" + +"That is the fact." + +"Now, did you ever see him," asked the Doctor, distinctly and +collectedly, though in the same low voice, "engaged in that pursuit +originally?" + +"Once." + +"And when the relapse fell on him, was he in most respects--or in all +respects--as he was then?" + +"I think in all respects." + +"You spoke of his daughter. Does his daughter know of the relapse?" + +"No. It has been kept from her, and I hope will always be kept from her. +It is known only to myself, and to one other who may be trusted." + +The Doctor grasped his hand, and murmured, "That was very kind. That was +very thoughtful!" Mr. Lorry grasped his hand in return, and neither of +the two spoke for a little while. + +"Now, my dear Manette," said Mr. Lorry, at length, in his most +considerate and most affectionate way, "I am a mere man of business, +and unfit to cope with such intricate and difficult matters. I do not +possess the kind of information necessary; I do not possess the kind of +intelligence; I want guiding. There is no man in this world on whom +I could so rely for right guidance, as on you. Tell me, how does this +relapse come about? Is there danger of another? Could a repetition of it +be prevented? How should a repetition of it be treated? How does it come +about at all? What can I do for my friend? No man ever can have been +more desirous in his heart to serve a friend, than I am to serve mine, +if I knew how. + +"But I don't know how to originate, in such a case. If your sagacity, +knowledge, and experience, could put me on the right track, I might be +able to do so much; unenlightened and undirected, I can do so little. +Pray discuss it with me; pray enable me to see it a little more clearly, +and teach me how to be a little more useful." + +Doctor Manette sat meditating after these earnest words were spoken, and +Mr. Lorry did not press him. + +"I think it probable," said the Doctor, breaking silence with an effort, +"that the relapse you have described, my dear friend, was not quite +unforeseen by its subject." + +"Was it dreaded by him?" Mr. Lorry ventured to ask. + +"Very much." He said it with an involuntary shudder. + +"You have no idea how such an apprehension weighs on the sufferer's +mind, and how difficult--how almost impossible--it is, for him to force +himself to utter a word upon the topic that oppresses him." + +"Would he," asked Mr. Lorry, "be sensibly relieved if he could prevail +upon himself to impart that secret brooding to any one, when it is on +him?" + +"I think so. But it is, as I have told you, next to impossible. I even +believe it--in some cases--to be quite impossible." + +"Now," said Mr. Lorry, gently laying his hand on the Doctor's arm again, +after a short silence on both sides, "to what would you refer this +attack?" + +"I believe," returned Doctor Manette, "that there had been a strong and +extraordinary revival of the train of thought and remembrance that +was the first cause of the malady. Some intense associations of a most +distressing nature were vividly recalled, I think. It is probable that +there had long been a dread lurking in his mind, that those associations +would be recalled--say, under certain circumstances--say, on a +particular occasion. He tried to prepare himself in vain; perhaps the +effort to prepare himself made him less able to bear it." + +"Would he remember what took place in the relapse?" asked Mr. Lorry, +with natural hesitation. + +The Doctor looked desolately round the room, shook his head, and +answered, in a low voice, "Not at all." + +"Now, as to the future," hinted Mr. Lorry. + +"As to the future," said the Doctor, recovering firmness, "I should have +great hope. As it pleased Heaven in its mercy to restore him so soon, I +should have great hope. He, yielding under the pressure of a complicated +something, long dreaded and long vaguely foreseen and contended against, +and recovering after the cloud had burst and passed, I should hope that +the worst was over." + +"Well, well! That's good comfort. I am thankful!" said Mr. Lorry. + +"I am thankful!" repeated the Doctor, bending his head with reverence. + +"There are two other points," said Mr. Lorry, "on which I am anxious to +be instructed. I may go on?" + +"You cannot do your friend a better service." The Doctor gave him his +hand. + +"To the first, then. He is of a studious habit, and unusually energetic; +he applies himself with great ardour to the acquisition of professional +knowledge, to the conducting of experiments, to many things. Now, does +he do too much?" + +"I think not. It may be the character of his mind, to be always in +singular need of occupation. That may be, in part, natural to it; in +part, the result of affliction. The less it was occupied with healthy +things, the more it would be in danger of turning in the unhealthy +direction. He may have observed himself, and made the discovery." + +"You are sure that he is not under too great a strain?" + +"I think I am quite sure of it." + +"My dear Manette, if he were overworked now--" + +"My dear Lorry, I doubt if that could easily be. There has been a +violent stress in one direction, and it needs a counterweight." + +"Excuse me, as a persistent man of business. Assuming for a moment, +that he _was_ overworked; it would show itself in some renewal of this +disorder?" + +"I do not think so. I do not think," said Doctor Manette with the +firmness of self-conviction, "that anything but the one train of +association would renew it. I think that, henceforth, nothing but some +extraordinary jarring of that chord could renew it. After what has +happened, and after his recovery, I find it difficult to imagine any +such violent sounding of that string again. I trust, and I almost +believe, that the circumstances likely to renew it are exhausted." + +He spoke with the diffidence of a man who knew how slight a thing +would overset the delicate organisation of the mind, and yet with the +confidence of a man who had slowly won his assurance out of personal +endurance and distress. It was not for his friend to abate that +confidence. He professed himself more relieved and encouraged than he +really was, and approached his second and last point. He felt it to +be the most difficult of all; but, remembering his old Sunday morning +conversation with Miss Pross, and remembering what he had seen in the +last nine days, he knew that he must face it. + +"The occupation resumed under the influence of this passing affliction +so happily recovered from," said Mr. Lorry, clearing his throat, "we +will call--Blacksmith's work, Blacksmith's work. We will say, to put a +case and for the sake of illustration, that he had been used, in his bad +time, to work at a little forge. We will say that he was unexpectedly +found at his forge again. Is it not a pity that he should keep it by +him?" + +The Doctor shaded his forehead with his hand, and beat his foot +nervously on the ground. + +"He has always kept it by him," said Mr. Lorry, with an anxious look at +his friend. "Now, would it not be better that he should let it go?" + +Still, the Doctor, with shaded forehead, beat his foot nervously on the +ground. + +"You do not find it easy to advise me?" said Mr. Lorry. "I quite +understand it to be a nice question. And yet I think--" And there he +shook his head, and stopped. + +"You see," said Doctor Manette, turning to him after an uneasy pause, +"it is very hard to explain, consistently, the innermost workings +of this poor man's mind. He once yearned so frightfully for that +occupation, and it was so welcome when it came; no doubt it relieved +his pain so much, by substituting the perplexity of the fingers for +the perplexity of the brain, and by substituting, as he became more +practised, the ingenuity of the hands, for the ingenuity of the mental +torture; that he has never been able to bear the thought of putting it +quite out of his reach. Even now, when I believe he is more hopeful of +himself than he has ever been, and even speaks of himself with a kind +of confidence, the idea that he might need that old employment, and not +find it, gives him a sudden sense of terror, like that which one may +fancy strikes to the heart of a lost child." + +He looked like his illustration, as he raised his eyes to Mr. Lorry's +face. + +"But may not--mind! I ask for information, as a plodding man of business +who only deals with such material objects as guineas, shillings, and +bank-notes--may not the retention of the thing involve the retention of +the idea? If the thing were gone, my dear Manette, might not the fear go +with it? In short, is it not a concession to the misgiving, to keep the +forge?" + +There was another silence. + +"You see, too," said the Doctor, tremulously, "it is such an old +companion." + +"I would not keep it," said Mr. Lorry, shaking his head; for he gained +in firmness as he saw the Doctor disquieted. "I would recommend him to +sacrifice it. I only want your authority. I am sure it does no good. +Come! Give me your authority, like a dear good man. For his daughter's +sake, my dear Manette!" + +Very strange to see what a struggle there was within him! + +"In her name, then, let it be done; I sanction it. But, I would not take +it away while he was present. Let it be removed when he is not there; +let him miss his old companion after an absence." + +Mr. Lorry readily engaged for that, and the conference was ended. They +passed the day in the country, and the Doctor was quite restored. On the +three following days he remained perfectly well, and on the fourteenth +day he went away to join Lucie and her husband. The precaution that +had been taken to account for his silence, Mr. Lorry had previously +explained to him, and he had written to Lucie in accordance with it, and +she had no suspicions. + +On the night of the day on which he left the house, Mr. Lorry went into +his room with a chopper, saw, chisel, and hammer, attended by Miss Pross +carrying a light. There, with closed doors, and in a mysterious and +guilty manner, Mr. Lorry hacked the shoemaker's bench to pieces, while +Miss Pross held the candle as if she were assisting at a murder--for +which, indeed, in her grimness, she was no unsuitable figure. The +burning of the body (previously reduced to pieces convenient for the +purpose) was commenced without delay in the kitchen fire; and the tools, +shoes, and leather, were buried in the garden. So wicked do destruction +and secrecy appear to honest minds, that Mr. Lorry and Miss Pross, +while engaged in the commission of their deed and in the removal of its +traces, almost felt, and almost looked, like accomplices in a horrible +crime. + + + + +XX. A Plea + + +When the newly-married pair came home, the first person who appeared, to +offer his congratulations, was Sydney Carton. They had not been at home +many hours, when he presented himself. He was not improved in habits, or +in looks, or in manner; but there was a certain rugged air of fidelity +about him, which was new to the observation of Charles Darnay. + +He watched his opportunity of taking Darnay aside into a window, and of +speaking to him when no one overheard. + +"Mr. Darnay," said Carton, "I wish we might be friends." + +"We are already friends, I hope." + +"You are good enough to say so, as a fashion of speech; but, I don't +mean any fashion of speech. Indeed, when I say I wish we might be +friends, I scarcely mean quite that, either." + +Charles Darnay--as was natural--asked him, in all good-humour and +good-fellowship, what he did mean? + +"Upon my life," said Carton, smiling, "I find that easier to comprehend +in my own mind, than to convey to yours. However, let me try. You +remember a certain famous occasion when I was more drunk than--than +usual?" + +"I remember a certain famous occasion when you forced me to confess that +you had been drinking." + +"I remember it too. The curse of those occasions is heavy upon me, for I +always remember them. I hope it may be taken into account one day, +when all days are at an end for me! Don't be alarmed; I am not going to +preach." + +"I am not at all alarmed. Earnestness in you, is anything but alarming +to me." + +"Ah!" said Carton, with a careless wave of his hand, as if he waved that +away. "On the drunken occasion in question (one of a large number, as +you know), I was insufferable about liking you, and not liking you. I +wish you would forget it." + +"I forgot it long ago." + +"Fashion of speech again! But, Mr. Darnay, oblivion is not so easy to +me, as you represent it to be to you. I have by no means forgotten it, +and a light answer does not help me to forget it." + +"If it was a light answer," returned Darnay, "I beg your forgiveness +for it. I had no other object than to turn a slight thing, which, to my +surprise, seems to trouble you too much, aside. I declare to you, on the +faith of a gentleman, that I have long dismissed it from my mind. Good +Heaven, what was there to dismiss! Have I had nothing more important to +remember, in the great service you rendered me that day?" + +"As to the great service," said Carton, "I am bound to avow to you, when +you speak of it in that way, that it was mere professional claptrap, I +don't know that I cared what became of you, when I rendered it.--Mind! I +say when I rendered it; I am speaking of the past." + +"You make light of the obligation," returned Darnay, "but I will not +quarrel with _your_ light answer." + +"Genuine truth, Mr. Darnay, trust me! I have gone aside from my purpose; +I was speaking about our being friends. Now, you know me; you know I am +incapable of all the higher and better flights of men. If you doubt it, +ask Stryver, and he'll tell you so." + +"I prefer to form my own opinion, without the aid of his." + +"Well! At any rate you know me as a dissolute dog, who has never done +any good, and never will." + +"I don't know that you 'never will.'" + +"But I do, and you must take my word for it. Well! If you could endure +to have such a worthless fellow, and a fellow of such indifferent +reputation, coming and going at odd times, I should ask that I might be +permitted to come and go as a privileged person here; that I might +be regarded as an useless (and I would add, if it were not for the +resemblance I detected between you and me, an unornamental) piece of +furniture, tolerated for its old service, and taken no notice of. I +doubt if I should abuse the permission. It is a hundred to one if I +should avail myself of it four times in a year. It would satisfy me, I +dare say, to know that I had it." + +"Will you try?" + +"That is another way of saying that I am placed on the footing I have +indicated. I thank you, Darnay. I may use that freedom with your name?" + +"I think so, Carton, by this time." + +They shook hands upon it, and Sydney turned away. Within a minute +afterwards, he was, to all outward appearance, as unsubstantial as ever. + +When he was gone, and in the course of an evening passed with Miss +Pross, the Doctor, and Mr. Lorry, Charles Darnay made some mention of +this conversation in general terms, and spoke of Sydney Carton as a +problem of carelessness and recklessness. He spoke of him, in short, not +bitterly or meaning to bear hard upon him, but as anybody might who saw +him as he showed himself. + +He had no idea that this could dwell in the thoughts of his fair young +wife; but, when he afterwards joined her in their own rooms, he found +her waiting for him with the old pretty lifting of the forehead strongly +marked. + +"We are thoughtful to-night!" said Darnay, drawing his arm about her. + +"Yes, dearest Charles," with her hands on his breast, and the inquiring +and attentive expression fixed upon him; "we are rather thoughtful +to-night, for we have something on our mind to-night." + +"What is it, my Lucie?" + +"Will you promise not to press one question on me, if I beg you not to +ask it?" + +"Will I promise? What will I not promise to my Love?" + +What, indeed, with his hand putting aside the golden hair from the +cheek, and his other hand against the heart that beat for him! + +"I think, Charles, poor Mr. Carton deserves more consideration and +respect than you expressed for him to-night." + +"Indeed, my own? Why so?" + +"That is what you are not to ask me. But I think--I know--he does." + +"If you know it, it is enough. What would you have me do, my Life?" + +"I would ask you, dearest, to be very generous with him always, and very +lenient on his faults when he is not by. I would ask you to believe that +he has a heart he very, very seldom reveals, and that there are deep +wounds in it. My dear, I have seen it bleeding." + +"It is a painful reflection to me," said Charles Darnay, quite +astounded, "that I should have done him any wrong. I never thought this +of him." + +"My husband, it is so. I fear he is not to be reclaimed; there is +scarcely a hope that anything in his character or fortunes is reparable +now. But, I am sure that he is capable of good things, gentle things, +even magnanimous things." + +She looked so beautiful in the purity of her faith in this lost man, +that her husband could have looked at her as she was for hours. + +"And, O my dearest Love!" she urged, clinging nearer to him, laying her +head upon his breast, and raising her eyes to his, "remember how strong +we are in our happiness, and how weak he is in his misery!" + +The supplication touched him home. "I will always remember it, dear +Heart! I will remember it as long as I live." + +He bent over the golden head, and put the rosy lips to his, and folded +her in his arms. If one forlorn wanderer then pacing the dark streets, +could have heard her innocent disclosure, and could have seen the drops +of pity kissed away by her husband from the soft blue eyes so loving of +that husband, he might have cried to the night--and the words would not +have parted from his lips for the first time-- + +"God bless her for her sweet compassion!" + + + + +XXI. Echoing Footsteps + + +A wonderful corner for echoes, it has been remarked, that corner where +the Doctor lived. Ever busily winding the golden thread which bound +her husband, and her father, and herself, and her old directress and +companion, in a life of quiet bliss, Lucie sat in the still house in +the tranquilly resounding corner, listening to the echoing footsteps of +years. + +At first, there were times, though she was a perfectly happy young wife, +when her work would slowly fall from her hands, and her eyes would be +dimmed. For, there was something coming in the echoes, something light, +afar off, and scarcely audible yet, that stirred her heart too much. +Fluttering hopes and doubts--hopes, of a love as yet unknown to her: +doubts, of her remaining upon earth, to enjoy that new delight--divided +her breast. Among the echoes then, there would arise the sound of +footsteps at her own early grave; and thoughts of the husband who would +be left so desolate, and who would mourn for her so much, swelled to her +eyes, and broke like waves. + +That time passed, and her little Lucie lay on her bosom. Then, among the +advancing echoes, there was the tread of her tiny feet and the sound of +her prattling words. Let greater echoes resound as they would, the young +mother at the cradle side could always hear those coming. They came, and +the shady house was sunny with a child's laugh, and the Divine friend of +children, to whom in her trouble she had confided hers, seemed to take +her child in his arms, as He took the child of old, and made it a sacred +joy to her. + +Ever busily winding the golden thread that bound them all together, +weaving the service of her happy influence through the tissue of all +their lives, and making it predominate nowhere, Lucie heard in the +echoes of years none but friendly and soothing sounds. Her husband's +step was strong and prosperous among them; her father's firm and equal. +Lo, Miss Pross, in harness of string, awakening the echoes, as an +unruly charger, whip-corrected, snorting and pawing the earth under the +plane-tree in the garden! + +Even when there were sounds of sorrow among the rest, they were not +harsh nor cruel. Even when golden hair, like her own, lay in a halo on a +pillow round the worn face of a little boy, and he said, with a radiant +smile, "Dear papa and mamma, I am very sorry to leave you both, and to +leave my pretty sister; but I am called, and I must go!" those were not +tears all of agony that wetted his young mother's cheek, as the spirit +departed from her embrace that had been entrusted to it. Suffer them and +forbid them not. They see my Father's face. O Father, blessed words! + +Thus, the rustling of an Angel's wings got blended with the other +echoes, and they were not wholly of earth, but had in them that breath +of Heaven. Sighs of the winds that blew over a little garden-tomb were +mingled with them also, and both were audible to Lucie, in a hushed +murmur--like the breathing of a summer sea asleep upon a sandy shore--as +the little Lucie, comically studious at the task of the morning, or +dressing a doll at her mother's footstool, chattered in the tongues of +the Two Cities that were blended in her life. + +The Echoes rarely answered to the actual tread of Sydney Carton. Some +half-dozen times a year, at most, he claimed his privilege of coming in +uninvited, and would sit among them through the evening, as he had once +done often. He never came there heated with wine. And one other thing +regarding him was whispered in the echoes, which has been whispered by +all true echoes for ages and ages. + +No man ever really loved a woman, lost her, and knew her with a +blameless though an unchanged mind, when she was a wife and a mother, +but her children had a strange sympathy with him--an instinctive +delicacy of pity for him. What fine hidden sensibilities are touched in +such a case, no echoes tell; but it is so, and it was so here. Carton +was the first stranger to whom little Lucie held out her chubby arms, +and he kept his place with her as she grew. The little boy had spoken of +him, almost at the last. "Poor Carton! Kiss him for me!" + +Mr. Stryver shouldered his way through the law, like some great engine +forcing itself through turbid water, and dragged his useful friend in +his wake, like a boat towed astern. As the boat so favoured is usually +in a rough plight, and mostly under water, so, Sydney had a swamped +life of it. But, easy and strong custom, unhappily so much easier and +stronger in him than any stimulating sense of desert or disgrace, made +it the life he was to lead; and he no more thought of emerging from his +state of lion's jackal, than any real jackal may be supposed to think of +rising to be a lion. Stryver was rich; had married a florid widow with +property and three boys, who had nothing particularly shining about them +but the straight hair of their dumpling heads. + +These three young gentlemen, Mr. Stryver, exuding patronage of the most +offensive quality from every pore, had walked before him like three +sheep to the quiet corner in Soho, and had offered as pupils to +Lucie's husband: delicately saying "Halloa! here are three lumps of +bread-and-cheese towards your matrimonial picnic, Darnay!" The polite +rejection of the three lumps of bread-and-cheese had quite bloated Mr. +Stryver with indignation, which he afterwards turned to account in the +training of the young gentlemen, by directing them to beware of the +pride of Beggars, like that tutor-fellow. He was also in the habit of +declaiming to Mrs. Stryver, over his full-bodied wine, on the arts +Mrs. Darnay had once put in practice to "catch" him, and on the +diamond-cut-diamond arts in himself, madam, which had rendered him "not +to be caught." Some of his King's Bench familiars, who were occasionally +parties to the full-bodied wine and the lie, excused him for the +latter by saying that he had told it so often, that he believed +it himself--which is surely such an incorrigible aggravation of an +originally bad offence, as to justify any such offender's being carried +off to some suitably retired spot, and there hanged out of the way. + +These were among the echoes to which Lucie, sometimes pensive, sometimes +amused and laughing, listened in the echoing corner, until her little +daughter was six years old. How near to her heart the echoes of her +child's tread came, and those of her own dear father's, always active +and self-possessed, and those of her dear husband's, need not be told. +Nor, how the lightest echo of their united home, directed by herself +with such a wise and elegant thrift that it was more abundant than any +waste, was music to her. Nor, how there were echoes all about her, sweet +in her ears, of the many times her father had told her that he found her +more devoted to him married (if that could be) than single, and of the +many times her husband had said to her that no cares and duties seemed +to divide her love for him or her help to him, and asked her "What is +the magic secret, my darling, of your being everything to all of us, +as if there were only one of us, yet never seeming to be hurried, or to +have too much to do?" + +But, there were other echoes, from a distance, that rumbled menacingly +in the corner all through this space of time. And it was now, about +little Lucie's sixth birthday, that they began to have an awful sound, +as of a great storm in France with a dreadful sea rising. + +On a night in mid-July, one thousand seven hundred and eighty-nine, Mr. +Lorry came in late, from Tellson's, and sat himself down by Lucie and +her husband in the dark window. It was a hot, wild night, and they were +all three reminded of the old Sunday night when they had looked at the +lightning from the same place. + +"I began to think," said Mr. Lorry, pushing his brown wig back, "that +I should have to pass the night at Tellson's. We have been so full of +business all day, that we have not known what to do first, or which way +to turn. There is such an uneasiness in Paris, that we have actually a +run of confidence upon us! Our customers over there, seem not to be able +to confide their property to us fast enough. There is positively a mania +among some of them for sending it to England." + +"That has a bad look," said Darnay-- + +"A bad look, you say, my dear Darnay? Yes, but we don't know what reason +there is in it. People are so unreasonable! Some of us at Tellson's are +getting old, and we really can't be troubled out of the ordinary course +without due occasion." + +"Still," said Darnay, "you know how gloomy and threatening the sky is." + +"I know that, to be sure," assented Mr. Lorry, trying to persuade +himself that his sweet temper was soured, and that he grumbled, "but I +am determined to be peevish after my long day's botheration. Where is +Manette?" + +"Here he is," said the Doctor, entering the dark room at the moment. + +"I am quite glad you are at home; for these hurries and forebodings by +which I have been surrounded all day long, have made me nervous without +reason. You are not going out, I hope?" + +"No; I am going to play backgammon with you, if you like," said the +Doctor. + +"I don't think I do like, if I may speak my mind. I am not fit to be +pitted against you to-night. Is the teaboard still there, Lucie? I can't +see." + +"Of course, it has been kept for you." + +"Thank ye, my dear. The precious child is safe in bed?" + +"And sleeping soundly." + +"That's right; all safe and well! I don't know why anything should be +otherwise than safe and well here, thank God; but I have been so put out +all day, and I am not as young as I was! My tea, my dear! Thank ye. Now, +come and take your place in the circle, and let us sit quiet, and hear +the echoes about which you have your theory." + +"Not a theory; it was a fancy." + +"A fancy, then, my wise pet," said Mr. Lorry, patting her hand. "They +are very numerous and very loud, though, are they not? Only hear them!" + +Headlong, mad, and dangerous footsteps to force their way into anybody's +life, footsteps not easily made clean again if once stained red, the +footsteps raging in Saint Antoine afar off, as the little circle sat in +the dark London window. + +Saint Antoine had been, that morning, a vast dusky mass of scarecrows +heaving to and fro, with frequent gleams of light above the billowy +heads, where steel blades and bayonets shone in the sun. A tremendous +roar arose from the throat of Saint Antoine, and a forest of naked arms +struggled in the air like shrivelled branches of trees in a winter wind: +all the fingers convulsively clutching at every weapon or semblance of a +weapon that was thrown up from the depths below, no matter how far off. + +Who gave them out, whence they last came, where they began, through what +agency they crookedly quivered and jerked, scores at a time, over the +heads of the crowd, like a kind of lightning, no eye in the throng could +have told; but, muskets were being distributed--so were cartridges, +powder, and ball, bars of iron and wood, knives, axes, pikes, every +weapon that distracted ingenuity could discover or devise. People who +could lay hold of nothing else, set themselves with bleeding hands to +force stones and bricks out of their places in walls. Every pulse and +heart in Saint Antoine was on high-fever strain and at high-fever heat. +Every living creature there held life as of no account, and was demented +with a passionate readiness to sacrifice it. + +As a whirlpool of boiling waters has a centre point, so, all this raging +circled round Defarge's wine-shop, and every human drop in the caldron +had a tendency to be sucked towards the vortex where Defarge himself, +already begrimed with gunpowder and sweat, issued orders, issued arms, +thrust this man back, dragged this man forward, disarmed one to arm +another, laboured and strove in the thickest of the uproar. + +"Keep near to me, Jacques Three," cried Defarge; "and do you, Jacques +One and Two, separate and put yourselves at the head of as many of these +patriots as you can. Where is my wife?" + +"Eh, well! Here you see me!" said madame, composed as ever, but not +knitting to-day. Madame's resolute right hand was occupied with an axe, +in place of the usual softer implements, and in her girdle were a pistol +and a cruel knife. + +"Where do you go, my wife?" + +"I go," said madame, "with you at present. You shall see me at the head +of women, by-and-bye." + +"Come, then!" cried Defarge, in a resounding voice. "Patriots and +friends, we are ready! The Bastille!" + +With a roar that sounded as if all the breath in France had been shaped +into the detested word, the living sea rose, wave on wave, depth on +depth, and overflowed the city to that point. Alarm-bells ringing, drums +beating, the sea raging and thundering on its new beach, the attack +began. + +Deep ditches, double drawbridge, massive stone walls, eight great +towers, cannon, muskets, fire and smoke. Through the fire and through +the smoke--in the fire and in the smoke, for the sea cast him up against +a cannon, and on the instant he became a cannonier--Defarge of the +wine-shop worked like a manful soldier, Two fierce hours. + +Deep ditch, single drawbridge, massive stone walls, eight great towers, +cannon, muskets, fire and smoke. One drawbridge down! "Work, comrades +all, work! Work, Jacques One, Jacques Two, Jacques One Thousand, Jacques +Two Thousand, Jacques Five-and-Twenty Thousand; in the name of all +the Angels or the Devils--which you prefer--work!" Thus Defarge of the +wine-shop, still at his gun, which had long grown hot. + +"To me, women!" cried madame his wife. "What! We can kill as well as +the men when the place is taken!" And to her, with a shrill thirsty +cry, trooping women variously armed, but all armed alike in hunger and +revenge. + +Cannon, muskets, fire and smoke; but, still the deep ditch, the single +drawbridge, the massive stone walls, and the eight great towers. Slight +displacements of the raging sea, made by the falling wounded. Flashing +weapons, blazing torches, smoking waggonloads of wet straw, hard work +at neighbouring barricades in all directions, shrieks, volleys, +execrations, bravery without stint, boom smash and rattle, and the +furious sounding of the living sea; but, still the deep ditch, and the +single drawbridge, and the massive stone walls, and the eight great +towers, and still Defarge of the wine-shop at his gun, grown doubly hot +by the service of Four fierce hours. + +A white flag from within the fortress, and a parley--this dimly +perceptible through the raging storm, nothing audible in it--suddenly +the sea rose immeasurably wider and higher, and swept Defarge of the +wine-shop over the lowered drawbridge, past the massive stone outer +walls, in among the eight great towers surrendered! + +So resistless was the force of the ocean bearing him on, that even to +draw his breath or turn his head was as impracticable as if he had been +struggling in the surf at the South Sea, until he was landed in the +outer courtyard of the Bastille. There, against an angle of a wall, he +made a struggle to look about him. Jacques Three was nearly at his side; +Madame Defarge, still heading some of her women, was visible in the +inner distance, and her knife was in her hand. Everywhere was tumult, +exultation, deafening and maniacal bewilderment, astounding noise, yet +furious dumb-show. + +"The Prisoners!" + +"The Records!" + +"The secret cells!" + +"The instruments of torture!" + +"The Prisoners!" + +Of all these cries, and ten thousand incoherences, "The Prisoners!" was +the cry most taken up by the sea that rushed in, as if there were an +eternity of people, as well as of time and space. When the foremost +billows rolled past, bearing the prison officers with them, and +threatening them all with instant death if any secret nook remained +undisclosed, Defarge laid his strong hand on the breast of one of +these men--a man with a grey head, who had a lighted torch in his +hand--separated him from the rest, and got him between himself and the +wall. + +"Show me the North Tower!" said Defarge. "Quick!" + +"I will faithfully," replied the man, "if you will come with me. But +there is no one there." + +"What is the meaning of One Hundred and Five, North Tower?" asked +Defarge. "Quick!" + +"The meaning, monsieur?" + +"Does it mean a captive, or a place of captivity? Or do you mean that I +shall strike you dead?" + +"Kill him!" croaked Jacques Three, who had come close up. + +"Monsieur, it is a cell." + +"Show it me!" + +"Pass this way, then." + +Jacques Three, with his usual craving on him, and evidently disappointed +by the dialogue taking a turn that did not seem to promise bloodshed, +held by Defarge's arm as he held by the turnkey's. Their three heads had +been close together during this brief discourse, and it had been as much +as they could do to hear one another, even then: so tremendous was the +noise of the living ocean, in its irruption into the Fortress, and +its inundation of the courts and passages and staircases. All around +outside, too, it beat the walls with a deep, hoarse roar, from which, +occasionally, some partial shouts of tumult broke and leaped into the +air like spray. + +Through gloomy vaults where the light of day had never shone, past +hideous doors of dark dens and cages, down cavernous flights of steps, +and again up steep rugged ascents of stone and brick, more like dry +waterfalls than staircases, Defarge, the turnkey, and Jacques Three, +linked hand and arm, went with all the speed they could make. Here and +there, especially at first, the inundation started on them and swept by; +but when they had done descending, and were winding and climbing up a +tower, they were alone. Hemmed in here by the massive thickness of walls +and arches, the storm within the fortress and without was only audible +to them in a dull, subdued way, as if the noise out of which they had +come had almost destroyed their sense of hearing. + +The turnkey stopped at a low door, put a key in a clashing lock, swung +the door slowly open, and said, as they all bent their heads and passed +in: + +"One hundred and five, North Tower!" + +There was a small, heavily-grated, unglazed window high in the wall, +with a stone screen before it, so that the sky could be only seen by +stooping low and looking up. There was a small chimney, heavily barred +across, a few feet within. There was a heap of old feathery wood-ashes +on the hearth. There was a stool, and table, and a straw bed. There were +the four blackened walls, and a rusted iron ring in one of them. + +"Pass that torch slowly along these walls, that I may see them," said +Defarge to the turnkey. + +The man obeyed, and Defarge followed the light closely with his eyes. + +"Stop!--Look here, Jacques!" + +"A. M.!" croaked Jacques Three, as he read greedily. + +"Alexandre Manette," said Defarge in his ear, following the letters +with his swart forefinger, deeply engrained with gunpowder. "And here he +wrote 'a poor physician.' And it was he, without doubt, who scratched +a calendar on this stone. What is that in your hand? A crowbar? Give it +me!" + +He had still the linstock of his gun in his own hand. He made a sudden +exchange of the two instruments, and turning on the worm-eaten stool and +table, beat them to pieces in a few blows. + +"Hold the light higher!" he said, wrathfully, to the turnkey. "Look +among those fragments with care, Jacques. And see! Here is my knife," +throwing it to him; "rip open that bed, and search the straw. Hold the +light higher, you!" + +With a menacing look at the turnkey he crawled upon the hearth, and, +peering up the chimney, struck and prised at its sides with the crowbar, +and worked at the iron grating across it. In a few minutes, some mortar +and dust came dropping down, which he averted his face to avoid; and +in it, and in the old wood-ashes, and in a crevice in the chimney +into which his weapon had slipped or wrought itself, he groped with a +cautious touch. + +"Nothing in the wood, and nothing in the straw, Jacques?" + +"Nothing." + +"Let us collect them together, in the middle of the cell. So! Light +them, you!" + +The turnkey fired the little pile, which blazed high and hot. Stooping +again to come out at the low-arched door, they left it burning, and +retraced their way to the courtyard; seeming to recover their sense +of hearing as they came down, until they were in the raging flood once +more. + +They found it surging and tossing, in quest of Defarge himself. Saint +Antoine was clamorous to have its wine-shop keeper foremost in the guard +upon the governor who had defended the Bastille and shot the people. +Otherwise, the governor would not be marched to the Hotel de Ville for +judgment. Otherwise, the governor would escape, and the people's +blood (suddenly of some value, after many years of worthlessness) be +unavenged. + +In the howling universe of passion and contention that seemed to +encompass this grim old officer conspicuous in his grey coat and red +decoration, there was but one quite steady figure, and that was a +woman's. "See, there is my husband!" she cried, pointing him out. +"See Defarge!" She stood immovable close to the grim old officer, and +remained immovable close to him; remained immovable close to him through +the streets, as Defarge and the rest bore him along; remained immovable +close to him when he was got near his destination, and began to +be struck at from behind; remained immovable close to him when the +long-gathering rain of stabs and blows fell heavy; was so close to him +when he dropped dead under it, that, suddenly animated, she put her foot +upon his neck, and with her cruel knife--long ready--hewed off his head. + +The hour was come, when Saint Antoine was to execute his horrible idea +of hoisting up men for lamps to show what he could be and do. Saint +Antoine's blood was up, and the blood of tyranny and domination by the +iron hand was down--down on the steps of the Hotel de Ville where the +governor's body lay--down on the sole of the shoe of Madame Defarge +where she had trodden on the body to steady it for mutilation. "Lower +the lamp yonder!" cried Saint Antoine, after glaring round for a new +means of death; "here is one of his soldiers to be left on guard!" The +swinging sentinel was posted, and the sea rushed on. + +The sea of black and threatening waters, and of destructive upheaving +of wave against wave, whose depths were yet unfathomed and whose forces +were yet unknown. The remorseless sea of turbulently swaying shapes, +voices of vengeance, and faces hardened in the furnaces of suffering +until the touch of pity could make no mark on them. + +But, in the ocean of faces where every fierce and furious expression was +in vivid life, there were two groups of faces--each seven in number--so +fixedly contrasting with the rest, that never did sea roll which bore +more memorable wrecks with it. Seven faces of prisoners, suddenly +released by the storm that had burst their tomb, were carried high +overhead: all scared, all lost, all wondering and amazed, as if the Last +Day were come, and those who rejoiced around them were lost spirits. +Other seven faces there were, carried higher, seven dead faces, whose +drooping eyelids and half-seen eyes awaited the Last Day. Impassive +faces, yet with a suspended--not an abolished--expression on them; +faces, rather, in a fearful pause, as having yet to raise the dropped +lids of the eyes, and bear witness with the bloodless lips, "THOU DIDST +IT!" + +Seven prisoners released, seven gory heads on pikes, the keys of the +accursed fortress of the eight strong towers, some discovered letters +and other memorials of prisoners of old time, long dead of broken +hearts,--such, and such--like, the loudly echoing footsteps of Saint +Antoine escort through the Paris streets in mid-July, one thousand seven +hundred and eighty-nine. Now, Heaven defeat the fancy of Lucie Darnay, +and keep these feet far out of her life! For, they are headlong, mad, +and dangerous; and in the years so long after the breaking of the cask +at Defarge's wine-shop door, they are not easily purified when once +stained red. + + + + +XXII. The Sea Still Rises + + +Haggard Saint Antoine had had only one exultant week, in which to soften +his modicum of hard and bitter bread to such extent as he could, with +the relish of fraternal embraces and congratulations, when Madame +Defarge sat at her counter, as usual, presiding over the customers. +Madame Defarge wore no rose in her head, for the great brotherhood of +Spies had become, even in one short week, extremely chary of trusting +themselves to the saint's mercies. The lamps across his streets had a +portentously elastic swing with them. + +Madame Defarge, with her arms folded, sat in the morning light and heat, +contemplating the wine-shop and the street. In both, there were several +knots of loungers, squalid and miserable, but now with a manifest sense +of power enthroned on their distress. The raggedest nightcap, awry on +the wretchedest head, had this crooked significance in it: "I know how +hard it has grown for me, the wearer of this, to support life in myself; +but do you know how easy it has grown for me, the wearer of this, to +destroy life in you?" Every lean bare arm, that had been without work +before, had this work always ready for it now, that it could strike. +The fingers of the knitting women were vicious, with the experience that +they could tear. There was a change in the appearance of Saint Antoine; +the image had been hammering into this for hundreds of years, and the +last finishing blows had told mightily on the expression. + +Madame Defarge sat observing it, with such suppressed approval as was +to be desired in the leader of the Saint Antoine women. One of her +sisterhood knitted beside her. The short, rather plump wife of a starved +grocer, and the mother of two children withal, this lieutenant had +already earned the complimentary name of The Vengeance. + +"Hark!" said The Vengeance. "Listen, then! Who comes?" + +As if a train of powder laid from the outermost bound of Saint Antoine +Quarter to the wine-shop door, had been suddenly fired, a fast-spreading +murmur came rushing along. + +"It is Defarge," said madame. "Silence, patriots!" + +Defarge came in breathless, pulled off a red cap he wore, and looked +around him! "Listen, everywhere!" said madame again. "Listen to him!" +Defarge stood, panting, against a background of eager eyes and open +mouths, formed outside the door; all those within the wine-shop had +sprung to their feet. + +"Say then, my husband. What is it?" + +"News from the other world!" + +"How, then?" cried madame, contemptuously. "The other world?" + +"Does everybody here recall old Foulon, who told the famished people +that they might eat grass, and who died, and went to Hell?" + +"Everybody!" from all throats. + +"The news is of him. He is among us!" + +"Among us!" from the universal throat again. "And dead?" + +"Not dead! He feared us so much--and with reason--that he caused himself +to be represented as dead, and had a grand mock-funeral. But they have +found him alive, hiding in the country, and have brought him in. I have +seen him but now, on his way to the Hotel de Ville, a prisoner. I have +said that he had reason to fear us. Say all! _Had_ he reason?" + +Wretched old sinner of more than threescore years and ten, if he had +never known it yet, he would have known it in his heart of hearts if he +could have heard the answering cry. + +A moment of profound silence followed. Defarge and his wife looked +steadfastly at one another. The Vengeance stooped, and the jar of a drum +was heard as she moved it at her feet behind the counter. + +"Patriots!" said Defarge, in a determined voice, "are we ready?" + +Instantly Madame Defarge's knife was in her girdle; the drum was beating +in the streets, as if it and a drummer had flown together by magic; and +The Vengeance, uttering terrific shrieks, and flinging her arms about +her head like all the forty Furies at once, was tearing from house to +house, rousing the women. + +The men were terrible, in the bloody-minded anger with which they looked +from windows, caught up what arms they had, and came pouring down into +the streets; but, the women were a sight to chill the boldest. From +such household occupations as their bare poverty yielded, from their +children, from their aged and their sick crouching on the bare ground +famished and naked, they ran out with streaming hair, urging one +another, and themselves, to madness with the wildest cries and actions. +Villain Foulon taken, my sister! Old Foulon taken, my mother! Miscreant +Foulon taken, my daughter! Then, a score of others ran into the midst of +these, beating their breasts, tearing their hair, and screaming, Foulon +alive! Foulon who told the starving people they might eat grass! Foulon +who told my old father that he might eat grass, when I had no bread +to give him! Foulon who told my baby it might suck grass, when these +breasts were dry with want! O mother of God, this Foulon! O Heaven our +suffering! Hear me, my dead baby and my withered father: I swear on my +knees, on these stones, to avenge you on Foulon! Husbands, and brothers, +and young men, Give us the blood of Foulon, Give us the head of Foulon, +Give us the heart of Foulon, Give us the body and soul of Foulon, Rend +Foulon to pieces, and dig him into the ground, that grass may grow from +him! With these cries, numbers of the women, lashed into blind frenzy, +whirled about, striking and tearing at their own friends until they +dropped into a passionate swoon, and were only saved by the men +belonging to them from being trampled under foot. + +Nevertheless, not a moment was lost; not a moment! This Foulon was at +the Hotel de Ville, and might be loosed. Never, if Saint Antoine knew +his own sufferings, insults, and wrongs! Armed men and women flocked out +of the Quarter so fast, and drew even these last dregs after them with +such a force of suction, that within a quarter of an hour there was not +a human creature in Saint Antoine's bosom but a few old crones and the +wailing children. + +No. They were all by that time choking the Hall of Examination where +this old man, ugly and wicked, was, and overflowing into the adjacent +open space and streets. The Defarges, husband and wife, The Vengeance, +and Jacques Three, were in the first press, and at no great distance +from him in the Hall. + +"See!" cried madame, pointing with her knife. "See the old villain bound +with ropes. That was well done to tie a bunch of grass upon his back. +Ha, ha! That was well done. Let him eat it now!" Madame put her knife +under her arm, and clapped her hands as at a play. + +The people immediately behind Madame Defarge, explaining the cause of +her satisfaction to those behind them, and those again explaining to +others, and those to others, the neighbouring streets resounded with the +clapping of hands. Similarly, during two or three hours of drawl, +and the winnowing of many bushels of words, Madame Defarge's frequent +expressions of impatience were taken up, with marvellous quickness, at +a distance: the more readily, because certain men who had by some +wonderful exercise of agility climbed up the external architecture +to look in from the windows, knew Madame Defarge well, and acted as a +telegraph between her and the crowd outside the building. + +At length the sun rose so high that it struck a kindly ray as of hope or +protection, directly down upon the old prisoner's head. The favour was +too much to bear; in an instant the barrier of dust and chaff that had +stood surprisingly long, went to the winds, and Saint Antoine had got +him! + +It was known directly, to the furthest confines of the crowd. Defarge +had but sprung over a railing and a table, and folded the miserable +wretch in a deadly embrace--Madame Defarge had but followed and turned +her hand in one of the ropes with which he was tied--The Vengeance and +Jacques Three were not yet up with them, and the men at the windows +had not yet swooped into the Hall, like birds of prey from their high +perches--when the cry seemed to go up, all over the city, "Bring him +out! Bring him to the lamp!" + +Down, and up, and head foremost on the steps of the building; now, on +his knees; now, on his feet; now, on his back; dragged, and struck at, +and stifled by the bunches of grass and straw that were thrust into his +face by hundreds of hands; torn, bruised, panting, bleeding, yet always +entreating and beseeching for mercy; now full of vehement agony of +action, with a small clear space about him as the people drew one +another back that they might see; now, a log of dead wood drawn through +a forest of legs; he was hauled to the nearest street corner where one +of the fatal lamps swung, and there Madame Defarge let him go--as a cat +might have done to a mouse--and silently and composedly looked at him +while they made ready, and while he besought her: the women passionately +screeching at him all the time, and the men sternly calling out to have +him killed with grass in his mouth. Once, he went aloft, and the rope +broke, and they caught him shrieking; twice, he went aloft, and the rope +broke, and they caught him shrieking; then, the rope was merciful, and +held him, and his head was soon upon a pike, with grass enough in the +mouth for all Saint Antoine to dance at the sight of. + +Nor was this the end of the day's bad work, for Saint Antoine so shouted +and danced his angry blood up, that it boiled again, on hearing when +the day closed in that the son-in-law of the despatched, another of the +people's enemies and insulters, was coming into Paris under a guard +five hundred strong, in cavalry alone. Saint Antoine wrote his crimes +on flaring sheets of paper, seized him--would have torn him out of the +breast of an army to bear Foulon company--set his head and heart on +pikes, and carried the three spoils of the day, in Wolf-procession +through the streets. + +Not before dark night did the men and women come back to the children, +wailing and breadless. Then, the miserable bakers' shops were beset by +long files of them, patiently waiting to buy bad bread; and while +they waited with stomachs faint and empty, they beguiled the time by +embracing one another on the triumphs of the day, and achieving them +again in gossip. Gradually, these strings of ragged people shortened and +frayed away; and then poor lights began to shine in high windows, and +slender fires were made in the streets, at which neighbours cooked in +common, afterwards supping at their doors. + +Scanty and insufficient suppers those, and innocent of meat, as of +most other sauce to wretched bread. Yet, human fellowship infused +some nourishment into the flinty viands, and struck some sparks of +cheerfulness out of them. Fathers and mothers who had had their full +share in the worst of the day, played gently with their meagre children; +and lovers, with such a world around them and before them, loved and +hoped. + +It was almost morning, when Defarge's wine-shop parted with its last +knot of customers, and Monsieur Defarge said to madame his wife, in +husky tones, while fastening the door: + +"At last it is come, my dear!" + +"Eh well!" returned madame. "Almost." + +Saint Antoine slept, the Defarges slept: even The Vengeance slept with +her starved grocer, and the drum was at rest. The drum's was the +only voice in Saint Antoine that blood and hurry had not changed. The +Vengeance, as custodian of the drum, could have wakened him up and had +the same speech out of him as before the Bastille fell, or old Foulon +was seized; not so with the hoarse tones of the men and women in Saint +Antoine's bosom. + + + + +XXIII. Fire Rises + + +There was a change on the village where the fountain fell, and where +the mender of roads went forth daily to hammer out of the stones on the +highway such morsels of bread as might serve for patches to hold his +poor ignorant soul and his poor reduced body together. The prison on the +crag was not so dominant as of yore; there were soldiers to guard it, +but not many; there were officers to guard the soldiers, but not one of +them knew what his men would do--beyond this: that it would probably not +be what he was ordered. + +Far and wide lay a ruined country, yielding nothing but desolation. +Every green leaf, every blade of grass and blade of grain, was as +shrivelled and poor as the miserable people. Everything was bowed down, +dejected, oppressed, and broken. Habitations, fences, domesticated +animals, men, women, children, and the soil that bore them--all worn +out. + +Monseigneur (often a most worthy individual gentleman) was a national +blessing, gave a chivalrous tone to things, was a polite example of +luxurious and shining life, and a great deal more to equal purpose; +nevertheless, Monseigneur as a class had, somehow or other, brought +things to this. Strange that Creation, designed expressly for +Monseigneur, should be so soon wrung dry and squeezed out! There must +be something short-sighted in the eternal arrangements, surely! Thus it +was, however; and the last drop of blood having been extracted from the +flints, and the last screw of the rack having been turned so often that +its purchase crumbled, and it now turned and turned with nothing +to bite, Monseigneur began to run away from a phenomenon so low and +unaccountable. + +But, this was not the change on the village, and on many a village like +it. For scores of years gone by, Monseigneur had squeezed it and wrung +it, and had seldom graced it with his presence except for the pleasures +of the chase--now, found in hunting the people; now, found in hunting +the beasts, for whose preservation Monseigneur made edifying spaces +of barbarous and barren wilderness. No. The change consisted in +the appearance of strange faces of low caste, rather than in the +disappearance of the high caste, chiselled, and otherwise beautified and +beautifying features of Monseigneur. + +For, in these times, as the mender of roads worked, solitary, in the +dust, not often troubling himself to reflect that dust he was and +to dust he must return, being for the most part too much occupied in +thinking how little he had for supper and how much more he would eat if +he had it--in these times, as he raised his eyes from his lonely labour, +and viewed the prospect, he would see some rough figure approaching on +foot, the like of which was once a rarity in those parts, but was now +a frequent presence. As it advanced, the mender of roads would discern +without surprise, that it was a shaggy-haired man, of almost barbarian +aspect, tall, in wooden shoes that were clumsy even to the eyes of a +mender of roads, grim, rough, swart, steeped in the mud and dust of many +highways, dank with the marshy moisture of many low grounds, sprinkled +with the thorns and leaves and moss of many byways through woods. + +Such a man came upon him, like a ghost, at noon in the July weather, +as he sat on his heap of stones under a bank, taking such shelter as he +could get from a shower of hail. + +The man looked at him, looked at the village in the hollow, at the mill, +and at the prison on the crag. When he had identified these objects +in what benighted mind he had, he said, in a dialect that was just +intelligible: + +"How goes it, Jacques?" + +"All well, Jacques." + +"Touch then!" + +They joined hands, and the man sat down on the heap of stones. + +"No dinner?" + +"Nothing but supper now," said the mender of roads, with a hungry face. + +"It is the fashion," growled the man. "I meet no dinner anywhere." + +He took out a blackened pipe, filled it, lighted it with flint and +steel, pulled at it until it was in a bright glow: then, suddenly held +it from him and dropped something into it from between his finger and +thumb, that blazed and went out in a puff of smoke. + +"Touch then." It was the turn of the mender of roads to say it this +time, after observing these operations. They again joined hands. + +"To-night?" said the mender of roads. + +"To-night," said the man, putting the pipe in his mouth. + +"Where?" + +"Here." + +He and the mender of roads sat on the heap of stones looking silently at +one another, with the hail driving in between them like a pigmy charge +of bayonets, until the sky began to clear over the village. + +"Show me!" said the traveller then, moving to the brow of the hill. + +"See!" returned the mender of roads, with extended finger. "You go down +here, and straight through the street, and past the fountain--" + +"To the Devil with all that!" interrupted the other, rolling his eye +over the landscape. "_I_ go through no streets and past no fountains. +Well?" + +"Well! About two leagues beyond the summit of that hill above the +village." + +"Good. When do you cease to work?" + +"At sunset." + +"Will you wake me, before departing? I have walked two nights without +resting. Let me finish my pipe, and I shall sleep like a child. Will you +wake me?" + +"Surely." + +The wayfarer smoked his pipe out, put it in his breast, slipped off his +great wooden shoes, and lay down on his back on the heap of stones. He +was fast asleep directly. + +As the road-mender plied his dusty labour, and the hail-clouds, rolling +away, revealed bright bars and streaks of sky which were responded to +by silver gleams upon the landscape, the little man (who wore a red cap +now, in place of his blue one) seemed fascinated by the figure on the +heap of stones. His eyes were so often turned towards it, that he used +his tools mechanically, and, one would have said, to very poor account. +The bronze face, the shaggy black hair and beard, the coarse woollen +red cap, the rough medley dress of home-spun stuff and hairy skins of +beasts, the powerful frame attenuated by spare living, and the sullen +and desperate compression of the lips in sleep, inspired the mender +of roads with awe. The traveller had travelled far, and his feet were +footsore, and his ankles chafed and bleeding; his great shoes, stuffed +with leaves and grass, had been heavy to drag over the many long +leagues, and his clothes were chafed into holes, as he himself was into +sores. Stooping down beside him, the road-mender tried to get a peep at +secret weapons in his breast or where not; but, in vain, for he slept +with his arms crossed upon him, and set as resolutely as his lips. +Fortified towns with their stockades, guard-houses, gates, trenches, and +drawbridges, seemed to the mender of roads, to be so much air as against +this figure. And when he lifted his eyes from it to the horizon and +looked around, he saw in his small fancy similar figures, stopped by no +obstacle, tending to centres all over France. + +The man slept on, indifferent to showers of hail and intervals of +brightness, to sunshine on his face and shadow, to the paltering lumps +of dull ice on his body and the diamonds into which the sun changed +them, until the sun was low in the west, and the sky was glowing. Then, +the mender of roads having got his tools together and all things ready +to go down into the village, roused him. + +"Good!" said the sleeper, rising on his elbow. "Two leagues beyond the +summit of the hill?" + +"About." + +"About. Good!" + +The mender of roads went home, with the dust going on before him +according to the set of the wind, and was soon at the fountain, +squeezing himself in among the lean kine brought there to drink, and +appearing even to whisper to them in his whispering to all the village. +When the village had taken its poor supper, it did not creep to bed, +as it usually did, but came out of doors again, and remained there. A +curious contagion of whispering was upon it, and also, when it gathered +together at the fountain in the dark, another curious contagion of +looking expectantly at the sky in one direction only. Monsieur Gabelle, +chief functionary of the place, became uneasy; went out on his house-top +alone, and looked in that direction too; glanced down from behind his +chimneys at the darkening faces by the fountain below, and sent word to +the sacristan who kept the keys of the church, that there might be need +to ring the tocsin by-and-bye. + +The night deepened. The trees environing the old chateau, keeping its +solitary state apart, moved in a rising wind, as though they threatened +the pile of building massive and dark in the gloom. Up the two terrace +flights of steps the rain ran wildly, and beat at the great door, like a +swift messenger rousing those within; uneasy rushes of wind went through +the hall, among the old spears and knives, and passed lamenting up the +stairs, and shook the curtains of the bed where the last Marquis +had slept. East, West, North, and South, through the woods, four +heavy-treading, unkempt figures crushed the high grass and cracked the +branches, striding on cautiously to come together in the courtyard. Four +lights broke out there, and moved away in different directions, and all +was black again. + +But, not for long. Presently, the chateau began to make itself strangely +visible by some light of its own, as though it were growing luminous. +Then, a flickering streak played behind the architecture of the front, +picking out transparent places, and showing where balustrades, arches, +and windows were. Then it soared higher, and grew broader and brighter. +Soon, from a score of the great windows, flames burst forth, and the +stone faces awakened, stared out of fire. + +A faint murmur arose about the house from the few people who were left +there, and there was a saddling of a horse and riding away. There was +spurring and splashing through the darkness, and bridle was drawn in the +space by the village fountain, and the horse in a foam stood at Monsieur +Gabelle's door. "Help, Gabelle! Help, every one!" The tocsin rang +impatiently, but other help (if that were any) there was none. The +mender of roads, and two hundred and fifty particular friends, stood +with folded arms at the fountain, looking at the pillar of fire in the +sky. "It must be forty feet high," said they, grimly; and never moved. + +The rider from the chateau, and the horse in a foam, clattered away +through the village, and galloped up the stony steep, to the prison on +the crag. At the gate, a group of officers were looking at the fire; +removed from them, a group of soldiers. "Help, gentlemen--officers! The +chateau is on fire; valuable objects may be saved from the flames by +timely aid! Help, help!" The officers looked towards the soldiers who +looked at the fire; gave no orders; and answered, with shrugs and biting +of lips, "It must burn." + +As the rider rattled down the hill again and through the street, the +village was illuminating. The mender of roads, and the two hundred and +fifty particular friends, inspired as one man and woman by the idea of +lighting up, had darted into their houses, and were putting candles in +every dull little pane of glass. The general scarcity of everything, +occasioned candles to be borrowed in a rather peremptory manner of +Monsieur Gabelle; and in a moment of reluctance and hesitation on +that functionary's part, the mender of roads, once so submissive to +authority, had remarked that carriages were good to make bonfires with, +and that post-horses would roast. + +The chateau was left to itself to flame and burn. In the roaring and +raging of the conflagration, a red-hot wind, driving straight from the +infernal regions, seemed to be blowing the edifice away. With the rising +and falling of the blaze, the stone faces showed as if they were in +torment. When great masses of stone and timber fell, the face with the +two dints in the nose became obscured: anon struggled out of the smoke +again, as if it were the face of the cruel Marquis, burning at the stake +and contending with the fire. + +The chateau burned; the nearest trees, laid hold of by the fire, +scorched and shrivelled; trees at a distance, fired by the four fierce +figures, begirt the blazing edifice with a new forest of smoke. Molten +lead and iron boiled in the marble basin of the fountain; the water ran +dry; the extinguisher tops of the towers vanished like ice before the +heat, and trickled down into four rugged wells of flame. Great rents and +splits branched out in the solid walls, like crystallisation; stupefied +birds wheeled about and dropped into the furnace; four fierce figures +trudged away, East, West, North, and South, along the night-enshrouded +roads, guided by the beacon they had lighted, towards their next +destination. The illuminated village had seized hold of the tocsin, and, +abolishing the lawful ringer, rang for joy. + +Not only that; but the village, light-headed with famine, fire, and +bell-ringing, and bethinking itself that Monsieur Gabelle had to do with +the collection of rent and taxes--though it was but a small instalment +of taxes, and no rent at all, that Gabelle had got in those latter +days--became impatient for an interview with him, and, surrounding his +house, summoned him to come forth for personal conference. Whereupon, +Monsieur Gabelle did heavily bar his door, and retire to hold counsel +with himself. The result of that conference was, that Gabelle again +withdrew himself to his housetop behind his stack of chimneys; this time +resolved, if his door were broken in (he was a small Southern man +of retaliative temperament), to pitch himself head foremost over the +parapet, and crush a man or two below. + +Probably, Monsieur Gabelle passed a long night up there, with the +distant chateau for fire and candle, and the beating at his door, +combined with the joy-ringing, for music; not to mention his having an +ill-omened lamp slung across the road before his posting-house gate, +which the village showed a lively inclination to displace in his favour. +A trying suspense, to be passing a whole summer night on the brink of +the black ocean, ready to take that plunge into it upon which Monsieur +Gabelle had resolved! But, the friendly dawn appearing at last, and the +rush-candles of the village guttering out, the people happily dispersed, +and Monsieur Gabelle came down bringing his life with him for that +while. + +Within a hundred miles, and in the light of other fires, there were +other functionaries less fortunate, that night and other nights, whom +the rising sun found hanging across once-peaceful streets, where they +had been born and bred; also, there were other villagers and townspeople +less fortunate than the mender of roads and his fellows, upon whom the +functionaries and soldiery turned with success, and whom they strung up +in their turn. But, the fierce figures were steadily wending East, West, +North, and South, be that as it would; and whosoever hung, fire burned. +The altitude of the gallows that would turn to water and quench it, +no functionary, by any stretch of mathematics, was able to calculate +successfully. + + + + +XXIV. Drawn to the Loadstone Rock + + +In such risings of fire and risings of sea--the firm earth shaken by +the rushes of an angry ocean which had now no ebb, but was always on the +flow, higher and higher, to the terror and wonder of the beholders on +the shore--three years of tempest were consumed. Three more birthdays +of little Lucie had been woven by the golden thread into the peaceful +tissue of the life of her home. + +Many a night and many a day had its inmates listened to the echoes in +the corner, with hearts that failed them when they heard the thronging +feet. For, the footsteps had become to their minds as the footsteps of +a people, tumultuous under a red flag and with their country declared in +danger, changed into wild beasts, by terrible enchantment long persisted +in. + +Monseigneur, as a class, had dissociated himself from the phenomenon of +his not being appreciated: of his being so little wanted in France, as +to incur considerable danger of receiving his dismissal from it, and +this life together. Like the fabled rustic who raised the Devil with +infinite pains, and was so terrified at the sight of him that he could +ask the Enemy no question, but immediately fled; so, Monseigneur, after +boldly reading the Lord's Prayer backwards for a great number of years, +and performing many other potent spells for compelling the Evil One, no +sooner beheld him in his terrors than he took to his noble heels. + +The shining Bull's Eye of the Court was gone, or it would have been the +mark for a hurricane of national bullets. It had never been a good +eye to see with--had long had the mote in it of Lucifer's pride, +Sardanapalus's luxury, and a mole's blindness--but it had dropped +out and was gone. The Court, from that exclusive inner circle to its +outermost rotten ring of intrigue, corruption, and dissimulation, was +all gone together. Royalty was gone; had been besieged in its Palace and +"suspended," when the last tidings came over. + +The August of the year one thousand seven hundred and ninety-two was +come, and Monseigneur was by this time scattered far and wide. + +As was natural, the head-quarters and great gathering-place of +Monseigneur, in London, was Tellson's Bank. Spirits are supposed to +haunt the places where their bodies most resorted, and Monseigneur +without a guinea haunted the spot where his guineas used to be. +Moreover, it was the spot to which such French intelligence as was most +to be relied upon, came quickest. Again: Tellson's was a munificent +house, and extended great liberality to old customers who had fallen +from their high estate. Again: those nobles who had seen the coming +storm in time, and anticipating plunder or confiscation, had made +provident remittances to Tellson's, were always to be heard of there +by their needy brethren. To which it must be added that every new-comer +from France reported himself and his tidings at Tellson's, almost as +a matter of course. For such variety of reasons, Tellson's was at that +time, as to French intelligence, a kind of High Exchange; and this +was so well known to the public, and the inquiries made there were in +consequence so numerous, that Tellson's sometimes wrote the latest news +out in a line or so and posted it in the Bank windows, for all who ran +through Temple Bar to read. + +On a steaming, misty afternoon, Mr. Lorry sat at his desk, and Charles +Darnay stood leaning on it, talking with him in a low voice. The +penitential den once set apart for interviews with the House, was now +the news-Exchange, and was filled to overflowing. It was within half an +hour or so of the time of closing. + +"But, although you are the youngest man that ever lived," said Charles +Darnay, rather hesitating, "I must still suggest to you--" + +"I understand. That I am too old?" said Mr. Lorry. + +"Unsettled weather, a long journey, uncertain means of travelling, a +disorganised country, a city that may not be even safe for you." + +"My dear Charles," said Mr. Lorry, with cheerful confidence, "you touch +some of the reasons for my going: not for my staying away. It is safe +enough for me; nobody will care to interfere with an old fellow of hard +upon fourscore when there are so many people there much better worth +interfering with. As to its being a disorganised city, if it were not a +disorganised city there would be no occasion to send somebody from our +House here to our House there, who knows the city and the business, of +old, and is in Tellson's confidence. As to the uncertain travelling, the +long journey, and the winter weather, if I were not prepared to submit +myself to a few inconveniences for the sake of Tellson's, after all +these years, who ought to be?" + +"I wish I were going myself," said Charles Darnay, somewhat restlessly, +and like one thinking aloud. + +"Indeed! You are a pretty fellow to object and advise!" exclaimed Mr. +Lorry. "You wish you were going yourself? And you a Frenchman born? You +are a wise counsellor." + +"My dear Mr. Lorry, it is because I am a Frenchman born, that the +thought (which I did not mean to utter here, however) has passed through +my mind often. One cannot help thinking, having had some sympathy for +the miserable people, and having abandoned something to them," he spoke +here in his former thoughtful manner, "that one might be listened to, +and might have the power to persuade to some restraint. Only last night, +after you had left us, when I was talking to Lucie--" + +"When you were talking to Lucie," Mr. Lorry repeated. "Yes. I wonder you +are not ashamed to mention the name of Lucie! Wishing you were going to +France at this time of day!" + +"However, I am not going," said Charles Darnay, with a smile. "It is +more to the purpose that you say you are." + +"And I am, in plain reality. The truth is, my dear Charles," Mr. Lorry +glanced at the distant House, and lowered his voice, "you can have no +conception of the difficulty with which our business is transacted, and +of the peril in which our books and papers over yonder are involved. The +Lord above knows what the compromising consequences would be to numbers +of people, if some of our documents were seized or destroyed; and they +might be, at any time, you know, for who can say that Paris is not set +afire to-day, or sacked to-morrow! Now, a judicious selection from these +with the least possible delay, and the burying of them, or otherwise +getting of them out of harm's way, is within the power (without loss of +precious time) of scarcely any one but myself, if any one. And shall +I hang back, when Tellson's knows this and says this--Tellson's, whose +bread I have eaten these sixty years--because I am a little stiff about +the joints? Why, I am a boy, sir, to half a dozen old codgers here!" + +"How I admire the gallantry of your youthful spirit, Mr. Lorry." + +"Tut! Nonsense, sir!--And, my dear Charles," said Mr. Lorry, glancing at +the House again, "you are to remember, that getting things out of +Paris at this present time, no matter what things, is next to an +impossibility. Papers and precious matters were this very day brought +to us here (I speak in strict confidence; it is not business-like to +whisper it, even to you), by the strangest bearers you can imagine, +every one of whom had his head hanging on by a single hair as he passed +the Barriers. At another time, our parcels would come and go, as easily +as in business-like Old England; but now, everything is stopped." + +"And do you really go to-night?" + +"I really go to-night, for the case has become too pressing to admit of +delay." + +"And do you take no one with you?" + +"All sorts of people have been proposed to me, but I will have nothing +to say to any of them. I intend to take Jerry. Jerry has been my +bodyguard on Sunday nights for a long time past and I am used to him. +Nobody will suspect Jerry of being anything but an English bull-dog, or +of having any design in his head but to fly at anybody who touches his +master." + +"I must say again that I heartily admire your gallantry and +youthfulness." + +"I must say again, nonsense, nonsense! When I have executed this little +commission, I shall, perhaps, accept Tellson's proposal to retire and +live at my ease. Time enough, then, to think about growing old." + +This dialogue had taken place at Mr. Lorry's usual desk, with +Monseigneur swarming within a yard or two of it, boastful of what he +would do to avenge himself on the rascal-people before long. It was too +much the way of Monseigneur under his reverses as a refugee, and it +was much too much the way of native British orthodoxy, to talk of this +terrible Revolution as if it were the only harvest ever known under +the skies that had not been sown--as if nothing had ever been done, or +omitted to be done, that had led to it--as if observers of the wretched +millions in France, and of the misused and perverted resources that +should have made them prosperous, had not seen it inevitably coming, +years before, and had not in plain words recorded what they saw. Such +vapouring, combined with the extravagant plots of Monseigneur for the +restoration of a state of things that had utterly exhausted itself, +and worn out Heaven and earth as well as itself, was hard to be endured +without some remonstrance by any sane man who knew the truth. And it was +such vapouring all about his ears, like a troublesome confusion of blood +in his own head, added to a latent uneasiness in his mind, which had +already made Charles Darnay restless, and which still kept him so. + +Among the talkers, was Stryver, of the King's Bench Bar, far on his +way to state promotion, and, therefore, loud on the theme: broaching +to Monseigneur, his devices for blowing the people up and exterminating +them from the face of the earth, and doing without them: and for +accomplishing many similar objects akin in their nature to the abolition +of eagles by sprinkling salt on the tails of the race. Him, Darnay heard +with a particular feeling of objection; and Darnay stood divided between +going away that he might hear no more, and remaining to interpose his +word, when the thing that was to be, went on to shape itself out. + +The House approached Mr. Lorry, and laying a soiled and unopened letter +before him, asked if he had yet discovered any traces of the person to +whom it was addressed? The House laid the letter down so close to Darnay +that he saw the direction--the more quickly because it was his own right +name. The address, turned into English, ran: + +"Very pressing. To Monsieur heretofore the Marquis St. Evremonde, of +France. Confided to the cares of Messrs. Tellson and Co., Bankers, +London, England." + +On the marriage morning, Doctor Manette had made it his one urgent and +express request to Charles Darnay, that the secret of this name should +be--unless he, the Doctor, dissolved the obligation--kept inviolate +between them. Nobody else knew it to be his name; his own wife had no +suspicion of the fact; Mr. Lorry could have none. + +"No," said Mr. Lorry, in reply to the House; "I have referred it, +I think, to everybody now here, and no one can tell me where this +gentleman is to be found." + +The hands of the clock verging upon the hour of closing the Bank, there +was a general set of the current of talkers past Mr. Lorry's desk. He +held the letter out inquiringly; and Monseigneur looked at it, in the +person of this plotting and indignant refugee; and Monseigneur looked at +it in the person of that plotting and indignant refugee; and This, That, +and The Other, all had something disparaging to say, in French or in +English, concerning the Marquis who was not to be found. + +"Nephew, I believe--but in any case degenerate successor--of the +polished Marquis who was murdered," said one. "Happy to say, I never +knew him." + +"A craven who abandoned his post," said another--this Monseigneur had +been got out of Paris, legs uppermost and half suffocated, in a load of +hay--"some years ago." + +"Infected with the new doctrines," said a third, eyeing the direction +through his glass in passing; "set himself in opposition to the last +Marquis, abandoned the estates when he inherited them, and left them to +the ruffian herd. They will recompense him now, I hope, as he deserves." + +"Hey?" cried the blatant Stryver. "Did he though? Is that the sort of +fellow? Let us look at his infamous name. D--n the fellow!" + +Darnay, unable to restrain himself any longer, touched Mr. Stryver on +the shoulder, and said: + +"I know the fellow." + +"Do you, by Jupiter?" said Stryver. "I am sorry for it." + +"Why?" + +"Why, Mr. Darnay? D'ye hear what he did? Don't ask, why, in these +times." + +"But I do ask why?" + +"Then I tell you again, Mr. Darnay, I am sorry for it. I am sorry to +hear you putting any such extraordinary questions. Here is a fellow, +who, infected by the most pestilent and blasphemous code of devilry that +ever was known, abandoned his property to the vilest scum of the earth +that ever did murder by wholesale, and you ask me why I am sorry that a +man who instructs youth knows him? Well, but I'll answer you. I am sorry +because I believe there is contamination in such a scoundrel. That's +why." + +Mindful of the secret, Darnay with great difficulty checked himself, and +said: "You may not understand the gentleman." + +"I understand how to put _you_ in a corner, Mr. Darnay," said Bully +Stryver, "and I'll do it. If this fellow is a gentleman, I _don't_ +understand him. You may tell him so, with my compliments. You may also +tell him, from me, that after abandoning his worldly goods and position +to this butcherly mob, I wonder he is not at the head of them. But, no, +gentlemen," said Stryver, looking all round, and snapping his fingers, +"I know something of human nature, and I tell you that you'll never +find a fellow like this fellow, trusting himself to the mercies of such +precious _protégés_. No, gentlemen; he'll always show 'em a clean pair +of heels very early in the scuffle, and sneak away." + +With those words, and a final snap of his fingers, Mr. Stryver +shouldered himself into Fleet-street, amidst the general approbation of +his hearers. Mr. Lorry and Charles Darnay were left alone at the desk, +in the general departure from the Bank. + +"Will you take charge of the letter?" said Mr. Lorry. "You know where to +deliver it?" + +"I do." + +"Will you undertake to explain, that we suppose it to have been +addressed here, on the chance of our knowing where to forward it, and +that it has been here some time?" + +"I will do so. Do you start for Paris from here?" + +"From here, at eight." + +"I will come back, to see you off." + +Very ill at ease with himself, and with Stryver and most other men, +Darnay made the best of his way into the quiet of the Temple, opened the +letter, and read it. These were its contents: + + +"Prison of the Abbaye, Paris. + +"June 21, 1792. "MONSIEUR HERETOFORE THE MARQUIS. + +"After having long been in danger of my life at the hands of the +village, I have been seized, with great violence and indignity, and +brought a long journey on foot to Paris. On the road I have suffered a +great deal. Nor is that all; my house has been destroyed--razed to the +ground. + +"The crime for which I am imprisoned, Monsieur heretofore the Marquis, +and for which I shall be summoned before the tribunal, and shall lose my +life (without your so generous help), is, they tell me, treason against +the majesty of the people, in that I have acted against them for an +emigrant. It is in vain I represent that I have acted for them, and not +against, according to your commands. It is in vain I represent that, +before the sequestration of emigrant property, I had remitted the +imposts they had ceased to pay; that I had collected no rent; that I had +had recourse to no process. The only response is, that I have acted for +an emigrant, and where is that emigrant? + +"Ah! most gracious Monsieur heretofore the Marquis, where is that +emigrant? I cry in my sleep where is he? I demand of Heaven, will he +not come to deliver me? No answer. Ah Monsieur heretofore the Marquis, +I send my desolate cry across the sea, hoping it may perhaps reach your +ears through the great bank of Tilson known at Paris! + +"For the love of Heaven, of justice, of generosity, of the honour of +your noble name, I supplicate you, Monsieur heretofore the Marquis, to +succour and release me. My fault is, that I have been true to you. Oh +Monsieur heretofore the Marquis, I pray you be you true to me! + +"From this prison here of horror, whence I every hour tend nearer and +nearer to destruction, I send you, Monsieur heretofore the Marquis, the +assurance of my dolorous and unhappy service. + +"Your afflicted, + +"Gabelle." + + +The latent uneasiness in Darnay's mind was roused to vigourous life +by this letter. The peril of an old servant and a good one, whose +only crime was fidelity to himself and his family, stared him so +reproachfully in the face, that, as he walked to and fro in the Temple +considering what to do, he almost hid his face from the passersby. + +He knew very well, that in his horror of the deed which had culminated +the bad deeds and bad reputation of the old family house, in his +resentful suspicions of his uncle, and in the aversion with which his +conscience regarded the crumbling fabric that he was supposed to uphold, +he had acted imperfectly. He knew very well, that in his love for Lucie, +his renunciation of his social place, though by no means new to his own +mind, had been hurried and incomplete. He knew that he ought to have +systematically worked it out and supervised it, and that he had meant to +do it, and that it had never been done. + +The happiness of his own chosen English home, the necessity of being +always actively employed, the swift changes and troubles of the time +which had followed on one another so fast, that the events of this week +annihilated the immature plans of last week, and the events of the week +following made all new again; he knew very well, that to the force of +these circumstances he had yielded:--not without disquiet, but still +without continuous and accumulating resistance. That he had watched +the times for a time of action, and that they had shifted and struggled +until the time had gone by, and the nobility were trooping from +France by every highway and byway, and their property was in course of +confiscation and destruction, and their very names were blotting out, +was as well known to himself as it could be to any new authority in +France that might impeach him for it. + +But, he had oppressed no man, he had imprisoned no man; he was so +far from having harshly exacted payment of his dues, that he had +relinquished them of his own will, thrown himself on a world with no +favour in it, won his own private place there, and earned his own +bread. Monsieur Gabelle had held the impoverished and involved estate +on written instructions, to spare the people, to give them what little +there was to give--such fuel as the heavy creditors would let them have +in the winter, and such produce as could be saved from the same grip in +the summer--and no doubt he had put the fact in plea and proof, for his +own safety, so that it could not but appear now. + +This favoured the desperate resolution Charles Darnay had begun to make, +that he would go to Paris. + +Yes. Like the mariner in the old story, the winds and streams had driven +him within the influence of the Loadstone Rock, and it was drawing him +to itself, and he must go. Everything that arose before his mind drifted +him on, faster and faster, more and more steadily, to the terrible +attraction. His latent uneasiness had been, that bad aims were being +worked out in his own unhappy land by bad instruments, and that he who +could not fail to know that he was better than they, was not there, +trying to do something to stay bloodshed, and assert the claims of mercy +and humanity. With this uneasiness half stifled, and half reproaching +him, he had been brought to the pointed comparison of himself with the +brave old gentleman in whom duty was so strong; upon that comparison +(injurious to himself) had instantly followed the sneers of Monseigneur, +which had stung him bitterly, and those of Stryver, which above all were +coarse and galling, for old reasons. Upon those, had followed Gabelle's +letter: the appeal of an innocent prisoner, in danger of death, to his +justice, honour, and good name. + +His resolution was made. He must go to Paris. + +Yes. The Loadstone Rock was drawing him, and he must sail on, until he +struck. He knew of no rock; he saw hardly any danger. The intention +with which he had done what he had done, even although he had left +it incomplete, presented it before him in an aspect that would be +gratefully acknowledged in France on his presenting himself to assert +it. Then, that glorious vision of doing good, which is so often the +sanguine mirage of so many good minds, arose before him, and he even +saw himself in the illusion with some influence to guide this raging +Revolution that was running so fearfully wild. + +As he walked to and fro with his resolution made, he considered that +neither Lucie nor her father must know of it until he was gone. +Lucie should be spared the pain of separation; and her father, always +reluctant to turn his thoughts towards the dangerous ground of old, +should come to the knowledge of the step, as a step taken, and not in +the balance of suspense and doubt. How much of the incompleteness of his +situation was referable to her father, through the painful anxiety +to avoid reviving old associations of France in his mind, he did not +discuss with himself. But, that circumstance too, had had its influence +in his course. + +He walked to and fro, with thoughts very busy, until it was time to +return to Tellson's and take leave of Mr. Lorry. As soon as he arrived +in Paris he would present himself to this old friend, but he must say +nothing of his intention now. + +A carriage with post-horses was ready at the Bank door, and Jerry was +booted and equipped. + +"I have delivered that letter," said Charles Darnay to Mr. Lorry. "I +would not consent to your being charged with any written answer, but +perhaps you will take a verbal one?" + +"That I will, and readily," said Mr. Lorry, "if it is not dangerous." + +"Not at all. Though it is to a prisoner in the Abbaye." + +"What is his name?" said Mr. Lorry, with his open pocket-book in his +hand. + +"Gabelle." + +"Gabelle. And what is the message to the unfortunate Gabelle in prison?" + +"Simply, 'that he has received the letter, and will come.'" + +"Any time mentioned?" + +"He will start upon his journey to-morrow night." + +"Any person mentioned?" + +"No." + +He helped Mr. Lorry to wrap himself in a number of coats and cloaks, +and went out with him from the warm atmosphere of the old Bank, into the +misty air of Fleet-street. "My love to Lucie, and to little Lucie," said +Mr. Lorry at parting, "and take precious care of them till I come back." +Charles Darnay shook his head and doubtfully smiled, as the carriage +rolled away. + +That night--it was the fourteenth of August--he sat up late, and wrote +two fervent letters; one was to Lucie, explaining the strong obligation +he was under to go to Paris, and showing her, at length, the reasons +that he had, for feeling confident that he could become involved in no +personal danger there; the other was to the Doctor, confiding Lucie and +their dear child to his care, and dwelling on the same topics with the +strongest assurances. To both, he wrote that he would despatch letters +in proof of his safety, immediately after his arrival. + +It was a hard day, that day of being among them, with the first +reservation of their joint lives on his mind. It was a hard matter to +preserve the innocent deceit of which they were profoundly unsuspicious. +But, an affectionate glance at his wife, so happy and busy, made him +resolute not to tell her what impended (he had been half moved to do it, +so strange it was to him to act in anything without her quiet aid), and +the day passed quickly. Early in the evening he embraced her, and her +scarcely less dear namesake, pretending that he would return by-and-bye +(an imaginary engagement took him out, and he had secreted a valise +of clothes ready), and so he emerged into the heavy mist of the heavy +streets, with a heavier heart. + +The unseen force was drawing him fast to itself, now, and all the tides +and winds were setting straight and strong towards it. He left his +two letters with a trusty porter, to be delivered half an hour before +midnight, and no sooner; took horse for Dover; and began his journey. +"For the love of Heaven, of justice, of generosity, of the honour of +your noble name!" was the poor prisoner's cry with which he strengthened +his sinking heart, as he left all that was dear on earth behind him, and +floated away for the Loadstone Rock. + + +The end of the second book. + + + + + +Book the Third--the Track of a Storm + + + + +I. In Secret + + +The traveller fared slowly on his way, who fared towards Paris from +England in the autumn of the year one thousand seven hundred and +ninety-two. More than enough of bad roads, bad equipages, and bad +horses, he would have encountered to delay him, though the fallen and +unfortunate King of France had been upon his throne in all his glory; +but, the changed times were fraught with other obstacles than +these. Every town-gate and village taxing-house had its band of +citizen-patriots, with their national muskets in a most explosive state +of readiness, who stopped all comers and goers, cross-questioned them, +inspected their papers, looked for their names in lists of their own, +turned them back, or sent them on, or stopped them and laid them in +hold, as their capricious judgment or fancy deemed best for the dawning +Republic One and Indivisible, of Liberty, Equality, Fraternity, or +Death. + +A very few French leagues of his journey were accomplished, when Charles +Darnay began to perceive that for him along these country roads there +was no hope of return until he should have been declared a good citizen +at Paris. Whatever might befall now, he must on to his journey's end. +Not a mean village closed upon him, not a common barrier dropped across +the road behind him, but he knew it to be another iron door in +the series that was barred between him and England. The universal +watchfulness so encompassed him, that if he had been taken in a net, +or were being forwarded to his destination in a cage, he could not have +felt his freedom more completely gone. + +This universal watchfulness not only stopped him on the highway twenty +times in a stage, but retarded his progress twenty times in a day, by +riding after him and taking him back, riding before him and stopping him +by anticipation, riding with him and keeping him in charge. He had been +days upon his journey in France alone, when he went to bed tired out, in +a little town on the high road, still a long way from Paris. + +Nothing but the production of the afflicted Gabelle's letter from his +prison of the Abbaye would have got him on so far. His difficulty at the +guard-house in this small place had been such, that he felt his journey +to have come to a crisis. And he was, therefore, as little surprised as +a man could be, to find himself awakened at the small inn to which he +had been remitted until morning, in the middle of the night. + +Awakened by a timid local functionary and three armed patriots in rough +red caps and with pipes in their mouths, who sat down on the bed. + +"Emigrant," said the functionary, "I am going to send you on to Paris, +under an escort." + +"Citizen, I desire nothing more than to get to Paris, though I could +dispense with the escort." + +"Silence!" growled a red-cap, striking at the coverlet with the butt-end +of his musket. "Peace, aristocrat!" + +"It is as the good patriot says," observed the timid functionary. "You +are an aristocrat, and must have an escort--and must pay for it." + +"I have no choice," said Charles Darnay. + +"Choice! Listen to him!" cried the same scowling red-cap. "As if it was +not a favour to be protected from the lamp-iron!" + +"It is always as the good patriot says," observed the functionary. "Rise +and dress yourself, emigrant." + +Darnay complied, and was taken back to the guard-house, where other +patriots in rough red caps were smoking, drinking, and sleeping, by +a watch-fire. Here he paid a heavy price for his escort, and hence he +started with it on the wet, wet roads at three o'clock in the morning. + +The escort were two mounted patriots in red caps and tri-coloured +cockades, armed with national muskets and sabres, who rode one on either +side of him. + +The escorted governed his own horse, but a loose line was attached to +his bridle, the end of which one of the patriots kept girded round his +wrist. In this state they set forth with the sharp rain driving in their +faces: clattering at a heavy dragoon trot over the uneven town pavement, +and out upon the mire-deep roads. In this state they traversed without +change, except of horses and pace, all the mire-deep leagues that lay +between them and the capital. + +They travelled in the night, halting an hour or two after daybreak, and +lying by until the twilight fell. The escort were so wretchedly clothed, +that they twisted straw round their bare legs, and thatched their ragged +shoulders to keep the wet off. Apart from the personal discomfort of +being so attended, and apart from such considerations of present danger +as arose from one of the patriots being chronically drunk, and carrying +his musket very recklessly, Charles Darnay did not allow the restraint +that was laid upon him to awaken any serious fears in his breast; for, +he reasoned with himself that it could have no reference to the merits +of an individual case that was not yet stated, and of representations, +confirmable by the prisoner in the Abbaye, that were not yet made. + +But when they came to the town of Beauvais--which they did at eventide, +when the streets were filled with people--he could not conceal from +himself that the aspect of affairs was very alarming. An ominous crowd +gathered to see him dismount of the posting-yard, and many voices called +out loudly, "Down with the emigrant!" + +He stopped in the act of swinging himself out of his saddle, and, +resuming it as his safest place, said: + +"Emigrant, my friends! Do you not see me here, in France, of my own +will?" + +"You are a cursed emigrant," cried a farrier, making at him in a +furious manner through the press, hammer in hand; "and you are a cursed +aristocrat!" + +The postmaster interposed himself between this man and the rider's +bridle (at which he was evidently making), and soothingly said, "Let him +be; let him be! He will be judged at Paris." + +"Judged!" repeated the farrier, swinging his hammer. "Ay! and condemned +as a traitor." At this the crowd roared approval. + +Checking the postmaster, who was for turning his horse's head to the +yard (the drunken patriot sat composedly in his saddle looking on, with +the line round his wrist), Darnay said, as soon as he could make his +voice heard: + +"Friends, you deceive yourselves, or you are deceived. I am not a +traitor." + +"He lies!" cried the smith. "He is a traitor since the decree. His life +is forfeit to the people. His cursed life is not his own!" + +At the instant when Darnay saw a rush in the eyes of the crowd, which +another instant would have brought upon him, the postmaster turned his +horse into the yard, the escort rode in close upon his horse's flanks, +and the postmaster shut and barred the crazy double gates. The farrier +struck a blow upon them with his hammer, and the crowd groaned; but, no +more was done. + +"What is this decree that the smith spoke of?" Darnay asked the +postmaster, when he had thanked him, and stood beside him in the yard. + +"Truly, a decree for selling the property of emigrants." + +"When passed?" + +"On the fourteenth." + +"The day I left England!" + +"Everybody says it is but one of several, and that there will be +others--if there are not already--banishing all emigrants, and +condemning all to death who return. That is what he meant when he said +your life was not your own." + +"But there are no such decrees yet?" + +"What do I know!" said the postmaster, shrugging his shoulders; "there +may be, or there will be. It is all the same. What would you have?" + +They rested on some straw in a loft until the middle of the night, and +then rode forward again when all the town was asleep. Among the many +wild changes observable on familiar things which made this wild ride +unreal, not the least was the seeming rarity of sleep. After long and +lonely spurring over dreary roads, they would come to a cluster of poor +cottages, not steeped in darkness, but all glittering with lights, and +would find the people, in a ghostly manner in the dead of the night, +circling hand in hand round a shrivelled tree of Liberty, or all drawn +up together singing a Liberty song. Happily, however, there was sleep in +Beauvais that night to help them out of it and they passed on once more +into solitude and loneliness: jingling through the untimely cold and +wet, among impoverished fields that had yielded no fruits of the earth +that year, diversified by the blackened remains of burnt houses, and by +the sudden emergence from ambuscade, and sharp reining up across their +way, of patriot patrols on the watch on all the roads. + +Daylight at last found them before the wall of Paris. The barrier was +closed and strongly guarded when they rode up to it. + +"Where are the papers of this prisoner?" demanded a resolute-looking man +in authority, who was summoned out by the guard. + +Naturally struck by the disagreeable word, Charles Darnay requested the +speaker to take notice that he was a free traveller and French citizen, +in charge of an escort which the disturbed state of the country had +imposed upon him, and which he had paid for. + +"Where," repeated the same personage, without taking any heed of him +whatever, "are the papers of this prisoner?" + +The drunken patriot had them in his cap, and produced them. Casting his +eyes over Gabelle's letter, the same personage in authority showed some +disorder and surprise, and looked at Darnay with a close attention. + +He left escort and escorted without saying a word, however, and went +into the guard-room; meanwhile, they sat upon their horses outside the +gate. Looking about him while in this state of suspense, Charles +Darnay observed that the gate was held by a mixed guard of soldiers and +patriots, the latter far outnumbering the former; and that while ingress +into the city for peasants' carts bringing in supplies, and for similar +traffic and traffickers, was easy enough, egress, even for the homeliest +people, was very difficult. A numerous medley of men and women, not +to mention beasts and vehicles of various sorts, was waiting to issue +forth; but, the previous identification was so strict, that they +filtered through the barrier very slowly. Some of these people knew +their turn for examination to be so far off, that they lay down on the +ground to sleep or smoke, while others talked together, or loitered +about. The red cap and tri-colour cockade were universal, both among men +and women. + +When he had sat in his saddle some half-hour, taking note of these +things, Darnay found himself confronted by the same man in authority, +who directed the guard to open the barrier. Then he delivered to the +escort, drunk and sober, a receipt for the escorted, and requested him +to dismount. He did so, and the two patriots, leading his tired horse, +turned and rode away without entering the city. + +He accompanied his conductor into a guard-room, smelling of common wine +and tobacco, where certain soldiers and patriots, asleep and awake, +drunk and sober, and in various neutral states between sleeping and +waking, drunkenness and sobriety, were standing and lying about. The +light in the guard-house, half derived from the waning oil-lamps of +the night, and half from the overcast day, was in a correspondingly +uncertain condition. Some registers were lying open on a desk, and an +officer of a coarse, dark aspect, presided over these. + +"Citizen Defarge," said he to Darnay's conductor, as he took a slip of +paper to write on. "Is this the emigrant Evremonde?" + +"This is the man." + +"Your age, Evremonde?" + +"Thirty-seven." + +"Married, Evremonde?" + +"Yes." + +"Where married?" + +"In England." + +"Without doubt. Where is your wife, Evremonde?" + +"In England." + +"Without doubt. You are consigned, Evremonde, to the prison of La +Force." + +"Just Heaven!" exclaimed Darnay. "Under what law, and for what offence?" + +The officer looked up from his slip of paper for a moment. + +"We have new laws, Evremonde, and new offences, since you were here." He +said it with a hard smile, and went on writing. + +"I entreat you to observe that I have come here voluntarily, in response +to that written appeal of a fellow-countryman which lies before you. I +demand no more than the opportunity to do so without delay. Is not that +my right?" + +"Emigrants have no rights, Evremonde," was the stolid reply. The officer +wrote until he had finished, read over to himself what he had written, +sanded it, and handed it to Defarge, with the words "In secret." + +Defarge motioned with the paper to the prisoner that he must accompany +him. The prisoner obeyed, and a guard of two armed patriots attended +them. + +"Is it you," said Defarge, in a low voice, as they went down the +guardhouse steps and turned into Paris, "who married the daughter of +Doctor Manette, once a prisoner in the Bastille that is no more?" + +"Yes," replied Darnay, looking at him with surprise. + +"My name is Defarge, and I keep a wine-shop in the Quarter Saint +Antoine. Possibly you have heard of me." + +"My wife came to your house to reclaim her father? Yes!" + +The word "wife" seemed to serve as a gloomy reminder to Defarge, to say +with sudden impatience, "In the name of that sharp female newly-born, +and called La Guillotine, why did you come to France?" + +"You heard me say why, a minute ago. Do you not believe it is the +truth?" + +"A bad truth for you," said Defarge, speaking with knitted brows, and +looking straight before him. + +"Indeed I am lost here. All here is so unprecedented, so changed, so +sudden and unfair, that I am absolutely lost. Will you render me a +little help?" + +"None." Defarge spoke, always looking straight before him. + +"Will you answer me a single question?" + +"Perhaps. According to its nature. You can say what it is." + +"In this prison that I am going to so unjustly, shall I have some free +communication with the world outside?" + +"You will see." + +"I am not to be buried there, prejudged, and without any means of +presenting my case?" + +"You will see. But, what then? Other people have been similarly buried +in worse prisons, before now." + +"But never by me, Citizen Defarge." + +Defarge glanced darkly at him for answer, and walked on in a steady +and set silence. The deeper he sank into this silence, the fainter hope +there was--or so Darnay thought--of his softening in any slight degree. +He, therefore, made haste to say: + +"It is of the utmost importance to me (you know, Citizen, even better +than I, of how much importance), that I should be able to communicate to +Mr. Lorry of Tellson's Bank, an English gentleman who is now in Paris, +the simple fact, without comment, that I have been thrown into the +prison of La Force. Will you cause that to be done for me?" + +"I will do," Defarge doggedly rejoined, "nothing for you. My duty is to +my country and the People. I am the sworn servant of both, against you. +I will do nothing for you." + +Charles Darnay felt it hopeless to entreat him further, and his pride +was touched besides. As they walked on in silence, he could not but see +how used the people were to the spectacle of prisoners passing along the +streets. The very children scarcely noticed him. A few passers turned +their heads, and a few shook their fingers at him as an aristocrat; +otherwise, that a man in good clothes should be going to prison, was no +more remarkable than that a labourer in working clothes should be +going to work. In one narrow, dark, and dirty street through which they +passed, an excited orator, mounted on a stool, was addressing an excited +audience on the crimes against the people, of the king and the royal +family. The few words that he caught from this man's lips, first made +it known to Charles Darnay that the king was in prison, and that the +foreign ambassadors had one and all left Paris. On the road (except at +Beauvais) he had heard absolutely nothing. The escort and the universal +watchfulness had completely isolated him. + +That he had fallen among far greater dangers than those which had +developed themselves when he left England, he of course knew now. That +perils had thickened about him fast, and might thicken faster and faster +yet, he of course knew now. He could not but admit to himself that he +might not have made this journey, if he could have foreseen the events +of a few days. And yet his misgivings were not so dark as, imagined by +the light of this later time, they would appear. Troubled as the future +was, it was the unknown future, and in its obscurity there was ignorant +hope. The horrible massacre, days and nights long, which, within a few +rounds of the clock, was to set a great mark of blood upon the blessed +garnering time of harvest, was as far out of his knowledge as if it had +been a hundred thousand years away. The "sharp female newly-born, and +called La Guillotine," was hardly known to him, or to the generality +of people, by name. The frightful deeds that were to be soon done, were +probably unimagined at that time in the brains of the doers. How could +they have a place in the shadowy conceptions of a gentle mind? + +Of unjust treatment in detention and hardship, and in cruel separation +from his wife and child, he foreshadowed the likelihood, or the +certainty; but, beyond this, he dreaded nothing distinctly. With this on +his mind, which was enough to carry into a dreary prison courtyard, he +arrived at the prison of La Force. + +A man with a bloated face opened the strong wicket, to whom Defarge +presented "The Emigrant Evremonde." + +"What the Devil! How many more of them!" exclaimed the man with the +bloated face. + +Defarge took his receipt without noticing the exclamation, and withdrew, +with his two fellow-patriots. + +"What the Devil, I say again!" exclaimed the gaoler, left with his wife. +"How many more!" + +The gaoler's wife, being provided with no answer to the question, merely +replied, "One must have patience, my dear!" Three turnkeys who entered +responsive to a bell she rang, echoed the sentiment, and one added, "For +the love of Liberty;" which sounded in that place like an inappropriate +conclusion. + +The prison of La Force was a gloomy prison, dark and filthy, and with a +horrible smell of foul sleep in it. Extraordinary how soon the noisome +flavour of imprisoned sleep, becomes manifest in all such places that +are ill cared for! + +"In secret, too," grumbled the gaoler, looking at the written paper. "As +if I was not already full to bursting!" + +He stuck the paper on a file, in an ill-humour, and Charles Darnay +awaited his further pleasure for half an hour: sometimes, pacing to and +fro in the strong arched room: sometimes, resting on a stone seat: in +either case detained to be imprinted on the memory of the chief and his +subordinates. + +"Come!" said the chief, at length taking up his keys, "come with me, +emigrant." + +Through the dismal prison twilight, his new charge accompanied him by +corridor and staircase, many doors clanging and locking behind them, +until they came into a large, low, vaulted chamber, crowded with +prisoners of both sexes. The women were seated at a long table, reading +and writing, knitting, sewing, and embroidering; the men were for the +most part standing behind their chairs, or lingering up and down the +room. + +In the instinctive association of prisoners with shameful crime and +disgrace, the new-comer recoiled from this company. But the crowning +unreality of his long unreal ride, was, their all at once rising to +receive him, with every refinement of manner known to the time, and with +all the engaging graces and courtesies of life. + +So strangely clouded were these refinements by the prison manners and +gloom, so spectral did they become in the inappropriate squalor and +misery through which they were seen, that Charles Darnay seemed to stand +in a company of the dead. Ghosts all! The ghost of beauty, the ghost +of stateliness, the ghost of elegance, the ghost of pride, the ghost of +frivolity, the ghost of wit, the ghost of youth, the ghost of age, all +waiting their dismissal from the desolate shore, all turning on him eyes +that were changed by the death they had died in coming there. + +It struck him motionless. The gaoler standing at his side, and the other +gaolers moving about, who would have been well enough as to appearance +in the ordinary exercise of their functions, looked so extravagantly +coarse contrasted with sorrowing mothers and blooming daughters who were +there--with the apparitions of the coquette, the young beauty, and the +mature woman delicately bred--that the inversion of all experience and +likelihood which the scene of shadows presented, was heightened to its +utmost. Surely, ghosts all. Surely, the long unreal ride some progress +of disease that had brought him to these gloomy shades! + +"In the name of the assembled companions in misfortune," said a +gentleman of courtly appearance and address, coming forward, "I have the +honour of giving you welcome to La Force, and of condoling with you +on the calamity that has brought you among us. May it soon terminate +happily! It would be an impertinence elsewhere, but it is not so here, +to ask your name and condition?" + +Charles Darnay roused himself, and gave the required information, in +words as suitable as he could find. + +"But I hope," said the gentleman, following the chief gaoler with his +eyes, who moved across the room, "that you are not in secret?" + +"I do not understand the meaning of the term, but I have heard them say +so." + +"Ah, what a pity! We so much regret it! But take courage; several +members of our society have been in secret, at first, and it has lasted +but a short time." Then he added, raising his voice, "I grieve to inform +the society--in secret." + +There was a murmur of commiseration as Charles Darnay crossed the room +to a grated door where the gaoler awaited him, and many voices--among +which, the soft and compassionate voices of women were conspicuous--gave +him good wishes and encouragement. He turned at the grated door, to +render the thanks of his heart; it closed under the gaoler's hand; and +the apparitions vanished from his sight forever. + +The wicket opened on a stone staircase, leading upward. When they had +ascended forty steps (the prisoner of half an hour already counted +them), the gaoler opened a low black door, and they passed into a +solitary cell. It struck cold and damp, but was not dark. + +"Yours," said the gaoler. + +"Why am I confined alone?" + +"How do I know!" + +"I can buy pen, ink, and paper?" + +"Such are not my orders. You will be visited, and can ask then. At +present, you may buy your food, and nothing more." + +There were in the cell, a chair, a table, and a straw mattress. As +the gaoler made a general inspection of these objects, and of the four +walls, before going out, a wandering fancy wandered through the mind of +the prisoner leaning against the wall opposite to him, that this gaoler +was so unwholesomely bloated, both in face and person, as to look like +a man who had been drowned and filled with water. When the gaoler was +gone, he thought in the same wandering way, "Now am I left, as if I were +dead." Stopping then, to look down at the mattress, he turned from it +with a sick feeling, and thought, "And here in these crawling creatures +is the first condition of the body after death." + +"Five paces by four and a half, five paces by four and a half, five +paces by four and a half." The prisoner walked to and fro in his cell, +counting its measurement, and the roar of the city arose like muffled +drums with a wild swell of voices added to them. "He made shoes, he made +shoes, he made shoes." The prisoner counted the measurement again, and +paced faster, to draw his mind with him from that latter repetition. +"The ghosts that vanished when the wicket closed. There was one among +them, the appearance of a lady dressed in black, who was leaning in the +embrasure of a window, and she had a light shining upon her golden +hair, and she looked like * * * * Let us ride on again, for God's sake, +through the illuminated villages with the people all awake! * * * * He +made shoes, he made shoes, he made shoes. * * * * Five paces by four and +a half." With such scraps tossing and rolling upward from the depths of +his mind, the prisoner walked faster and faster, obstinately counting +and counting; and the roar of the city changed to this extent--that it +still rolled in like muffled drums, but with the wail of voices that he +knew, in the swell that rose above them. + + + + +II. The Grindstone + + +Tellson's Bank, established in the Saint Germain Quarter of Paris, was +in a wing of a large house, approached by a courtyard and shut off from +the street by a high wall and a strong gate. The house belonged to +a great nobleman who had lived in it until he made a flight from the +troubles, in his own cook's dress, and got across the borders. A +mere beast of the chase flying from hunters, he was still in his +metempsychosis no other than the same Monseigneur, the preparation +of whose chocolate for whose lips had once occupied three strong men +besides the cook in question. + +Monseigneur gone, and the three strong men absolving themselves from the +sin of having drawn his high wages, by being more than ready and +willing to cut his throat on the altar of the dawning Republic one and +indivisible of Liberty, Equality, Fraternity, or Death, Monseigneur's +house had been first sequestrated, and then confiscated. For, all +things moved so fast, and decree followed decree with that fierce +precipitation, that now upon the third night of the autumn month +of September, patriot emissaries of the law were in possession of +Monseigneur's house, and had marked it with the tri-colour, and were +drinking brandy in its state apartments. + +A place of business in London like Tellson's place of business in Paris, +would soon have driven the House out of its mind and into the Gazette. +For, what would staid British responsibility and respectability have +said to orange-trees in boxes in a Bank courtyard, and even to a Cupid +over the counter? Yet such things were. Tellson's had whitewashed the +Cupid, but he was still to be seen on the ceiling, in the coolest +linen, aiming (as he very often does) at money from morning to +night. Bankruptcy must inevitably have come of this young Pagan, in +Lombard-street, London, and also of a curtained alcove in the rear of +the immortal boy, and also of a looking-glass let into the wall, and +also of clerks not at all old, who danced in public on the slightest +provocation. Yet, a French Tellson's could get on with these things +exceedingly well, and, as long as the times held together, no man had +taken fright at them, and drawn out his money. + +What money would be drawn out of Tellson's henceforth, and what would +lie there, lost and forgotten; what plate and jewels would tarnish in +Tellson's hiding-places, while the depositors rusted in prisons, +and when they should have violently perished; how many accounts with +Tellson's never to be balanced in this world, must be carried over into +the next; no man could have said, that night, any more than Mr. Jarvis +Lorry could, though he thought heavily of these questions. He sat by +a newly-lighted wood fire (the blighted and unfruitful year was +prematurely cold), and on his honest and courageous face there was a +deeper shade than the pendent lamp could throw, or any object in the +room distortedly reflect--a shade of horror. + +He occupied rooms in the Bank, in his fidelity to the House of which +he had grown to be a part, like strong root-ivy. It chanced that they +derived a kind of security from the patriotic occupation of the main +building, but the true-hearted old gentleman never calculated about +that. All such circumstances were indifferent to him, so that he did +his duty. On the opposite side of the courtyard, under a colonnade, +was extensive standing--for carriages--where, indeed, some carriages +of Monseigneur yet stood. Against two of the pillars were fastened two +great flaring flambeaux, and in the light of these, standing out in the +open air, was a large grindstone: a roughly mounted thing which appeared +to have hurriedly been brought there from some neighbouring smithy, +or other workshop. Rising and looking out of window at these harmless +objects, Mr. Lorry shivered, and retired to his seat by the fire. He had +opened, not only the glass window, but the lattice blind outside it, and +he had closed both again, and he shivered through his frame. + +From the streets beyond the high wall and the strong gate, there came +the usual night hum of the city, with now and then an indescribable ring +in it, weird and unearthly, as if some unwonted sounds of a terrible +nature were going up to Heaven. + +"Thank God," said Mr. Lorry, clasping his hands, "that no one near and +dear to me is in this dreadful town to-night. May He have mercy on all +who are in danger!" + +Soon afterwards, the bell at the great gate sounded, and he thought, +"They have come back!" and sat listening. But, there was no loud +irruption into the courtyard, as he had expected, and he heard the gate +clash again, and all was quiet. + +The nervousness and dread that were upon him inspired that vague +uneasiness respecting the Bank, which a great change would naturally +awaken, with such feelings roused. It was well guarded, and he got up to +go among the trusty people who were watching it, when his door suddenly +opened, and two figures rushed in, at sight of which he fell back in +amazement. + +Lucie and her father! Lucie with her arms stretched out to him, and with +that old look of earnestness so concentrated and intensified, that it +seemed as though it had been stamped upon her face expressly to give +force and power to it in this one passage of her life. + +"What is this?" cried Mr. Lorry, breathless and confused. "What is the +matter? Lucie! Manette! What has happened? What has brought you here? +What is it?" + +With the look fixed upon him, in her paleness and wildness, she panted +out in his arms, imploringly, "O my dear friend! My husband!" + +"Your husband, Lucie?" + +"Charles." + +"What of Charles?" + +"Here. + +"Here, in Paris?" + +"Has been here some days--three or four--I don't know how many--I can't +collect my thoughts. An errand of generosity brought him here unknown to +us; he was stopped at the barrier, and sent to prison." + +The old man uttered an irrepressible cry. Almost at the same moment, the +bell of the great gate rang again, and a loud noise of feet and voices +came pouring into the courtyard. + +"What is that noise?" said the Doctor, turning towards the window. + +"Don't look!" cried Mr. Lorry. "Don't look out! Manette, for your life, +don't touch the blind!" + +The Doctor turned, with his hand upon the fastening of the window, and +said, with a cool, bold smile: + +"My dear friend, I have a charmed life in this city. I have been +a Bastille prisoner. There is no patriot in Paris--in Paris? In +France--who, knowing me to have been a prisoner in the Bastille, would +touch me, except to overwhelm me with embraces, or carry me in triumph. +My old pain has given me a power that has brought us through the +barrier, and gained us news of Charles there, and brought us here. I +knew it would be so; I knew I could help Charles out of all danger; I +told Lucie so.--What is that noise?" His hand was again upon the window. + +"Don't look!" cried Mr. Lorry, absolutely desperate. "No, Lucie, my +dear, nor you!" He got his arm round her, and held her. "Don't be so +terrified, my love. I solemnly swear to you that I know of no harm +having happened to Charles; that I had no suspicion even of his being in +this fatal place. What prison is he in?" + +"La Force!" + +"La Force! Lucie, my child, if ever you were brave and serviceable in +your life--and you were always both--you will compose yourself now, to +do exactly as I bid you; for more depends upon it than you can think, or +I can say. There is no help for you in any action on your part to-night; +you cannot possibly stir out. I say this, because what I must bid you +to do for Charles's sake, is the hardest thing to do of all. You must +instantly be obedient, still, and quiet. You must let me put you in a +room at the back here. You must leave your father and me alone for +two minutes, and as there are Life and Death in the world you must not +delay." + +"I will be submissive to you. I see in your face that you know I can do +nothing else than this. I know you are true." + +The old man kissed her, and hurried her into his room, and turned the +key; then, came hurrying back to the Doctor, and opened the window and +partly opened the blind, and put his hand upon the Doctor's arm, and +looked out with him into the courtyard. + +Looked out upon a throng of men and women: not enough in number, or near +enough, to fill the courtyard: not more than forty or fifty in all. The +people in possession of the house had let them in at the gate, and they +had rushed in to work at the grindstone; it had evidently been set up +there for their purpose, as in a convenient and retired spot. + +But, such awful workers, and such awful work! + +The grindstone had a double handle, and, turning at it madly were two +men, whose faces, as their long hair flapped back when the whirlings of +the grindstone brought their faces up, were more horrible and cruel than +the visages of the wildest savages in their most barbarous disguise. +False eyebrows and false moustaches were stuck upon them, and their +hideous countenances were all bloody and sweaty, and all awry with +howling, and all staring and glaring with beastly excitement and want of +sleep. As these ruffians turned and turned, their matted locks now flung +forward over their eyes, now flung backward over their necks, some women +held wine to their mouths that they might drink; and what with dropping +blood, and what with dropping wine, and what with the stream of sparks +struck out of the stone, all their wicked atmosphere seemed gore and +fire. The eye could not detect one creature in the group free from +the smear of blood. Shouldering one another to get next at the +sharpening-stone, were men stripped to the waist, with the stain all +over their limbs and bodies; men in all sorts of rags, with the stain +upon those rags; men devilishly set off with spoils of women's lace +and silk and ribbon, with the stain dyeing those trifles through +and through. Hatchets, knives, bayonets, swords, all brought to be +sharpened, were all red with it. Some of the hacked swords were tied to +the wrists of those who carried them, with strips of linen and fragments +of dress: ligatures various in kind, but all deep of the one colour. And +as the frantic wielders of these weapons snatched them from the stream +of sparks and tore away into the streets, the same red hue was red in +their frenzied eyes;--eyes which any unbrutalised beholder would have +given twenty years of life, to petrify with a well-directed gun. + +All this was seen in a moment, as the vision of a drowning man, or of +any human creature at any very great pass, could see a world if it +were there. They drew back from the window, and the Doctor looked for +explanation in his friend's ashy face. + +"They are," Mr. Lorry whispered the words, glancing fearfully round at +the locked room, "murdering the prisoners. If you are sure of what you +say; if you really have the power you think you have--as I believe you +have--make yourself known to these devils, and get taken to La Force. It +may be too late, I don't know, but let it not be a minute later!" + +Doctor Manette pressed his hand, hastened bareheaded out of the room, +and was in the courtyard when Mr. Lorry regained the blind. + +His streaming white hair, his remarkable face, and the impetuous +confidence of his manner, as he put the weapons aside like water, +carried him in an instant to the heart of the concourse at the stone. +For a few moments there was a pause, and a hurry, and a murmur, and +the unintelligible sound of his voice; and then Mr. Lorry saw him, +surrounded by all, and in the midst of a line of twenty men long, all +linked shoulder to shoulder, and hand to shoulder, hurried out with +cries of--"Live the Bastille prisoner! Help for the Bastille prisoner's +kindred in La Force! Room for the Bastille prisoner in front there! Save +the prisoner Evremonde at La Force!" and a thousand answering shouts. + +He closed the lattice again with a fluttering heart, closed the window +and the curtain, hastened to Lucie, and told her that her father was +assisted by the people, and gone in search of her husband. He found +her child and Miss Pross with her; but, it never occurred to him to be +surprised by their appearance until a long time afterwards, when he sat +watching them in such quiet as the night knew. + +Lucie had, by that time, fallen into a stupor on the floor at his feet, +clinging to his hand. Miss Pross had laid the child down on his own +bed, and her head had gradually fallen on the pillow beside her pretty +charge. O the long, long night, with the moans of the poor wife! And O +the long, long night, with no return of her father and no tidings! + +Twice more in the darkness the bell at the great gate sounded, and the +irruption was repeated, and the grindstone whirled and spluttered. +"What is it?" cried Lucie, affrighted. "Hush! The soldiers' swords are +sharpened there," said Mr. Lorry. "The place is national property now, +and used as a kind of armoury, my love." + +Twice more in all; but, the last spell of work was feeble and fitful. +Soon afterwards the day began to dawn, and he softly detached himself +from the clasping hand, and cautiously looked out again. A man, so +besmeared that he might have been a sorely wounded soldier creeping back +to consciousness on a field of slain, was rising from the pavement by +the side of the grindstone, and looking about him with a vacant air. +Shortly, this worn-out murderer descried in the imperfect light one of +the carriages of Monseigneur, and, staggering to that gorgeous vehicle, +climbed in at the door, and shut himself up to take his rest on its +dainty cushions. + +The great grindstone, Earth, had turned when Mr. Lorry looked out again, +and the sun was red on the courtyard. But, the lesser grindstone stood +alone there in the calm morning air, with a red upon it that the sun had +never given, and would never take away. + + + + +III. The Shadow + + +One of the first considerations which arose in the business mind of Mr. +Lorry when business hours came round, was this:--that he had no right to +imperil Tellson's by sheltering the wife of an emigrant prisoner under +the Bank roof. His own possessions, safety, life, he would have hazarded +for Lucie and her child, without a moment's demur; but the great trust +he held was not his own, and as to that business charge he was a strict +man of business. + +At first, his mind reverted to Defarge, and he thought of finding out +the wine-shop again and taking counsel with its master in reference to +the safest dwelling-place in the distracted state of the city. But, the +same consideration that suggested him, repudiated him; he lived in the +most violent Quarter, and doubtless was influential there, and deep in +its dangerous workings. + +Noon coming, and the Doctor not returning, and every minute's delay +tending to compromise Tellson's, Mr. Lorry advised with Lucie. She said +that her father had spoken of hiring a lodging for a short term, in that +Quarter, near the Banking-house. As there was no business objection to +this, and as he foresaw that even if it were all well with Charles, and +he were to be released, he could not hope to leave the city, Mr. Lorry +went out in quest of such a lodging, and found a suitable one, high up +in a removed by-street where the closed blinds in all the other windows +of a high melancholy square of buildings marked deserted homes. + +To this lodging he at once removed Lucie and her child, and Miss Pross: +giving them what comfort he could, and much more than he had himself. +He left Jerry with them, as a figure to fill a doorway that would bear +considerable knocking on the head, and returned to his own occupations. +A disturbed and doleful mind he brought to bear upon them, and slowly +and heavily the day lagged on with him. + +It wore itself out, and wore him out with it, until the Bank closed. He +was again alone in his room of the previous night, considering what to +do next, when he heard a foot upon the stair. In a few moments, a +man stood in his presence, who, with a keenly observant look at him, +addressed him by his name. + +"Your servant," said Mr. Lorry. "Do you know me?" + +He was a strongly made man with dark curling hair, from forty-five +to fifty years of age. For answer he repeated, without any change of +emphasis, the words: + +"Do you know me?" + +"I have seen you somewhere." + +"Perhaps at my wine-shop?" + +Much interested and agitated, Mr. Lorry said: "You come from Doctor +Manette?" + +"Yes. I come from Doctor Manette." + +"And what says he? What does he send me?" + +Defarge gave into his anxious hand, an open scrap of paper. It bore the +words in the Doctor's writing: + + "Charles is safe, but I cannot safely leave this place yet. + I have obtained the favour that the bearer has a short note + from Charles to his wife. Let the bearer see his wife." + +It was dated from La Force, within an hour. + +"Will you accompany me," said Mr. Lorry, joyfully relieved after reading +this note aloud, "to where his wife resides?" + +"Yes," returned Defarge. + +Scarcely noticing as yet, in what a curiously reserved and mechanical +way Defarge spoke, Mr. Lorry put on his hat and they went down into the +courtyard. There, they found two women; one, knitting. + +"Madame Defarge, surely!" said Mr. Lorry, who had left her in exactly +the same attitude some seventeen years ago. + +"It is she," observed her husband. + +"Does Madame go with us?" inquired Mr. Lorry, seeing that she moved as +they moved. + +"Yes. That she may be able to recognise the faces and know the persons. +It is for their safety." + +Beginning to be struck by Defarge's manner, Mr. Lorry looked dubiously +at him, and led the way. Both the women followed; the second woman being +The Vengeance. + +They passed through the intervening streets as quickly as they might, +ascended the staircase of the new domicile, were admitted by Jerry, +and found Lucie weeping, alone. She was thrown into a transport by the +tidings Mr. Lorry gave her of her husband, and clasped the hand that +delivered his note--little thinking what it had been doing near him in +the night, and might, but for a chance, have done to him. + + "DEAREST,--Take courage. I am well, and your father has + influence around me. You cannot answer this. + Kiss our child for me." + +That was all the writing. It was so much, however, to her who received +it, that she turned from Defarge to his wife, and kissed one of the +hands that knitted. It was a passionate, loving, thankful, womanly +action, but the hand made no response--dropped cold and heavy, and took +to its knitting again. + +There was something in its touch that gave Lucie a check. She stopped in +the act of putting the note in her bosom, and, with her hands yet at her +neck, looked terrified at Madame Defarge. Madame Defarge met the lifted +eyebrows and forehead with a cold, impassive stare. + +"My dear," said Mr. Lorry, striking in to explain; "there are frequent +risings in the streets; and, although it is not likely they will ever +trouble you, Madame Defarge wishes to see those whom she has the power +to protect at such times, to the end that she may know them--that she +may identify them. I believe," said Mr. Lorry, rather halting in his +reassuring words, as the stony manner of all the three impressed itself +upon him more and more, "I state the case, Citizen Defarge?" + +Defarge looked gloomily at his wife, and gave no other answer than a +gruff sound of acquiescence. + +"You had better, Lucie," said Mr. Lorry, doing all he could to +propitiate, by tone and manner, "have the dear child here, and our +good Pross. Our good Pross, Defarge, is an English lady, and knows no +French." + +The lady in question, whose rooted conviction that she was more than a +match for any foreigner, was not to be shaken by distress and, danger, +appeared with folded arms, and observed in English to The Vengeance, +whom her eyes first encountered, "Well, I am sure, Boldface! I hope +_you_ are pretty well!" She also bestowed a British cough on Madame +Defarge; but, neither of the two took much heed of her. + +"Is that his child?" said Madame Defarge, stopping in her work for the +first time, and pointing her knitting-needle at little Lucie as if it +were the finger of Fate. + +"Yes, madame," answered Mr. Lorry; "this is our poor prisoner's darling +daughter, and only child." + +The shadow attendant on Madame Defarge and her party seemed to fall so +threatening and dark on the child, that her mother instinctively +kneeled on the ground beside her, and held her to her breast. The +shadow attendant on Madame Defarge and her party seemed then to fall, +threatening and dark, on both the mother and the child. + +"It is enough, my husband," said Madame Defarge. "I have seen them. We +may go." + +But, the suppressed manner had enough of menace in it--not visible and +presented, but indistinct and withheld--to alarm Lucie into saying, as +she laid her appealing hand on Madame Defarge's dress: + +"You will be good to my poor husband. You will do him no harm. You will +help me to see him if you can?" + +"Your husband is not my business here," returned Madame Defarge, looking +down at her with perfect composure. "It is the daughter of your father +who is my business here." + +"For my sake, then, be merciful to my husband. For my child's sake! She +will put her hands together and pray you to be merciful. We are more +afraid of you than of these others." + +Madame Defarge received it as a compliment, and looked at her husband. +Defarge, who had been uneasily biting his thumb-nail and looking at her, +collected his face into a sterner expression. + +"What is it that your husband says in that little letter?" asked Madame +Defarge, with a lowering smile. "Influence; he says something touching +influence?" + +"That my father," said Lucie, hurriedly taking the paper from her +breast, but with her alarmed eyes on her questioner and not on it, "has +much influence around him." + +"Surely it will release him!" said Madame Defarge. "Let it do so." + +"As a wife and mother," cried Lucie, most earnestly, "I implore you to +have pity on me and not to exercise any power that you possess, against +my innocent husband, but to use it in his behalf. O sister-woman, think +of me. As a wife and mother!" + +Madame Defarge looked, coldly as ever, at the suppliant, and said, +turning to her friend The Vengeance: + +"The wives and mothers we have been used to see, since we were as little +as this child, and much less, have not been greatly considered? We have +known _their_ husbands and fathers laid in prison and kept from them, +often enough? All our lives, we have seen our sister-women suffer, in +themselves and in their children, poverty, nakedness, hunger, thirst, +sickness, misery, oppression and neglect of all kinds?" + +"We have seen nothing else," returned The Vengeance. + +"We have borne this a long time," said Madame Defarge, turning her eyes +again upon Lucie. "Judge you! Is it likely that the trouble of one wife +and mother would be much to us now?" + +She resumed her knitting and went out. The Vengeance followed. Defarge +went last, and closed the door. + +"Courage, my dear Lucie," said Mr. Lorry, as he raised her. "Courage, +courage! So far all goes well with us--much, much better than it has of +late gone with many poor souls. Cheer up, and have a thankful heart." + +"I am not thankless, I hope, but that dreadful woman seems to throw a +shadow on me and on all my hopes." + +"Tut, tut!" said Mr. Lorry; "what is this despondency in the brave +little breast? A shadow indeed! No substance in it, Lucie." + +But the shadow of the manner of these Defarges was dark upon himself, +for all that, and in his secret mind it troubled him greatly. + + + + +IV. Calm in Storm + + +Doctor Manette did not return until the morning of the fourth day of his +absence. So much of what had happened in that dreadful time as could be +kept from the knowledge of Lucie was so well concealed from her, that +not until long afterwards, when France and she were far apart, did she +know that eleven hundred defenceless prisoners of both sexes and all +ages had been killed by the populace; that four days and nights had been +darkened by this deed of horror; and that the air around her had been +tainted by the slain. She only knew that there had been an attack upon +the prisons, that all political prisoners had been in danger, and that +some had been dragged out by the crowd and murdered. + +To Mr. Lorry, the Doctor communicated under an injunction of secrecy on +which he had no need to dwell, that the crowd had taken him through a +scene of carnage to the prison of La Force. That, in the prison he had +found a self-appointed Tribunal sitting, before which the prisoners were +brought singly, and by which they were rapidly ordered to be put forth +to be massacred, or to be released, or (in a few cases) to be sent back +to their cells. That, presented by his conductors to this Tribunal, he +had announced himself by name and profession as having been for eighteen +years a secret and unaccused prisoner in the Bastille; that, one of the +body so sitting in judgment had risen and identified him, and that this +man was Defarge. + +That, hereupon he had ascertained, through the registers on the table, +that his son-in-law was among the living prisoners, and had pleaded hard +to the Tribunal--of whom some members were asleep and some awake, some +dirty with murder and some clean, some sober and some not--for his life +and liberty. That, in the first frantic greetings lavished on himself as +a notable sufferer under the overthrown system, it had been accorded +to him to have Charles Darnay brought before the lawless Court, and +examined. That, he seemed on the point of being at once released, when +the tide in his favour met with some unexplained check (not intelligible +to the Doctor), which led to a few words of secret conference. That, +the man sitting as President had then informed Doctor Manette that +the prisoner must remain in custody, but should, for his sake, be held +inviolate in safe custody. That, immediately, on a signal, the prisoner +was removed to the interior of the prison again; but, that he, the +Doctor, had then so strongly pleaded for permission to remain and +assure himself that his son-in-law was, through no malice or mischance, +delivered to the concourse whose murderous yells outside the gate had +often drowned the proceedings, that he had obtained the permission, and +had remained in that Hall of Blood until the danger was over. + +The sights he had seen there, with brief snatches of food and sleep by +intervals, shall remain untold. The mad joy over the prisoners who were +saved, had astounded him scarcely less than the mad ferocity against +those who were cut to pieces. One prisoner there was, he said, who had +been discharged into the street free, but at whom a mistaken savage had +thrust a pike as he passed out. Being besought to go to him and dress +the wound, the Doctor had passed out at the same gate, and had found him +in the arms of a company of Samaritans, who were seated on the bodies +of their victims. With an inconsistency as monstrous as anything in this +awful nightmare, they had helped the healer, and tended the wounded man +with the gentlest solicitude--had made a litter for him and escorted him +carefully from the spot--had then caught up their weapons and plunged +anew into a butchery so dreadful, that the Doctor had covered his eyes +with his hands, and swooned away in the midst of it. + +As Mr. Lorry received these confidences, and as he watched the face of +his friend now sixty-two years of age, a misgiving arose within him that +such dread experiences would revive the old danger. + +But, he had never seen his friend in his present aspect: he had never +at all known him in his present character. For the first time the Doctor +felt, now, that his suffering was strength and power. For the first time +he felt that in that sharp fire, he had slowly forged the iron which +could break the prison door of his daughter's husband, and deliver him. +"It all tended to a good end, my friend; it was not mere waste and ruin. +As my beloved child was helpful in restoring me to myself, I will be +helpful now in restoring the dearest part of herself to her; by the aid +of Heaven I will do it!" Thus, Doctor Manette. And when Jarvis Lorry saw +the kindled eyes, the resolute face, the calm strong look and bearing +of the man whose life always seemed to him to have been stopped, like a +clock, for so many years, and then set going again with an energy which +had lain dormant during the cessation of its usefulness, he believed. + +Greater things than the Doctor had at that time to contend with, would +have yielded before his persevering purpose. While he kept himself +in his place, as a physician, whose business was with all degrees +of mankind, bond and free, rich and poor, bad and good, he used his +personal influence so wisely, that he was soon the inspecting physician +of three prisons, and among them of La Force. He could now assure Lucie +that her husband was no longer confined alone, but was mixed with the +general body of prisoners; he saw her husband weekly, and brought sweet +messages to her, straight from his lips; sometimes her husband himself +sent a letter to her (though never by the Doctor's hand), but she was +not permitted to write to him: for, among the many wild suspicions of +plots in the prisons, the wildest of all pointed at emigrants who were +known to have made friends or permanent connections abroad. + +This new life of the Doctor's was an anxious life, no doubt; still, the +sagacious Mr. Lorry saw that there was a new sustaining pride in it. +Nothing unbecoming tinged the pride; it was a natural and worthy one; +but he observed it as a curiosity. The Doctor knew, that up to that +time, his imprisonment had been associated in the minds of his daughter +and his friend, with his personal affliction, deprivation, and weakness. +Now that this was changed, and he knew himself to be invested through +that old trial with forces to which they both looked for Charles's +ultimate safety and deliverance, he became so far exalted by the change, +that he took the lead and direction, and required them as the weak, to +trust to him as the strong. The preceding relative positions of himself +and Lucie were reversed, yet only as the liveliest gratitude and +affection could reverse them, for he could have had no pride but in +rendering some service to her who had rendered so much to him. "All +curious to see," thought Mr. Lorry, in his amiably shrewd way, "but all +natural and right; so, take the lead, my dear friend, and keep it; it +couldn't be in better hands." + +But, though the Doctor tried hard, and never ceased trying, to get +Charles Darnay set at liberty, or at least to get him brought to trial, +the public current of the time set too strong and fast for him. The new +era began; the king was tried, doomed, and beheaded; the Republic of +Liberty, Equality, Fraternity, or Death, declared for victory or death +against the world in arms; the black flag waved night and day from the +great towers of Notre Dame; three hundred thousand men, summoned to rise +against the tyrants of the earth, rose from all the varying soils +of France, as if the dragon's teeth had been sown broadcast, and +had yielded fruit equally on hill and plain, on rock, in gravel, and +alluvial mud, under the bright sky of the South and under the clouds of +the North, in fell and forest, in the vineyards and the olive-grounds +and among the cropped grass and the stubble of the corn, along the +fruitful banks of the broad rivers, and in the sand of the sea-shore. +What private solicitude could rear itself against the deluge of the Year +One of Liberty--the deluge rising from below, not falling from above, +and with the windows of Heaven shut, not opened! + +There was no pause, no pity, no peace, no interval of relenting rest, no +measurement of time. Though days and nights circled as regularly as when +time was young, and the evening and morning were the first day, other +count of time there was none. Hold of it was lost in the raging fever +of a nation, as it is in the fever of one patient. Now, breaking the +unnatural silence of a whole city, the executioner showed the people the +head of the king--and now, it seemed almost in the same breath, the +head of his fair wife which had had eight weary months of imprisoned +widowhood and misery, to turn it grey. + +And yet, observing the strange law of contradiction which obtains in +all such cases, the time was long, while it flamed by so fast. A +revolutionary tribunal in the capital, and forty or fifty thousand +revolutionary committees all over the land; a law of the Suspected, +which struck away all security for liberty or life, and delivered over +any good and innocent person to any bad and guilty one; prisons gorged +with people who had committed no offence, and could obtain no hearing; +these things became the established order and nature of appointed +things, and seemed to be ancient usage before they were many weeks old. +Above all, one hideous figure grew as familiar as if it had been before +the general gaze from the foundations of the world--the figure of the +sharp female called La Guillotine. + +It was the popular theme for jests; it was the best cure for headache, +it infallibly prevented the hair from turning grey, it imparted a +peculiar delicacy to the complexion, it was the National Razor which +shaved close: who kissed La Guillotine, looked through the little window +and sneezed into the sack. It was the sign of the regeneration of the +human race. It superseded the Cross. Models of it were worn on breasts +from which the Cross was discarded, and it was bowed down to and +believed in where the Cross was denied. + +It sheared off heads so many, that it, and the ground it most polluted, +were a rotten red. It was taken to pieces, like a toy-puzzle for a young +Devil, and was put together again when the occasion wanted it. It hushed +the eloquent, struck down the powerful, abolished the beautiful and +good. Twenty-two friends of high public mark, twenty-one living and one +dead, it had lopped the heads off, in one morning, in as many minutes. +The name of the strong man of Old Scripture had descended to the chief +functionary who worked it; but, so armed, he was stronger than his +namesake, and blinder, and tore away the gates of God's own Temple every +day. + +Among these terrors, and the brood belonging to them, the Doctor walked +with a steady head: confident in his power, cautiously persistent in his +end, never doubting that he would save Lucie's husband at last. Yet the +current of the time swept by, so strong and deep, and carried the time +away so fiercely, that Charles had lain in prison one year and three +months when the Doctor was thus steady and confident. So much more +wicked and distracted had the Revolution grown in that December month, +that the rivers of the South were encumbered with the bodies of the +violently drowned by night, and prisoners were shot in lines and squares +under the southern wintry sun. Still, the Doctor walked among the +terrors with a steady head. No man better known than he, in Paris at +that day; no man in a stranger situation. Silent, humane, indispensable +in hospital and prison, using his art equally among assassins and +victims, he was a man apart. In the exercise of his skill, the +appearance and the story of the Bastille Captive removed him from all +other men. He was not suspected or brought in question, any more than if +he had indeed been recalled to life some eighteen years before, or were +a Spirit moving among mortals. + + + + +V. The Wood-Sawyer + + +One year and three months. During all that time Lucie was never +sure, from hour to hour, but that the Guillotine would strike off her +husband's head next day. Every day, through the stony streets, the +tumbrils now jolted heavily, filled with Condemned. Lovely girls; bright +women, brown-haired, black-haired, and grey; youths; stalwart men and +old; gentle born and peasant born; all red wine for La Guillotine, all +daily brought into light from the dark cellars of the loathsome prisons, +and carried to her through the streets to slake her devouring thirst. +Liberty, equality, fraternity, or death;--the last, much the easiest to +bestow, O Guillotine! + +If the suddenness of her calamity, and the whirling wheels of the time, +had stunned the Doctor's daughter into awaiting the result in idle +despair, it would but have been with her as it was with many. But, from +the hour when she had taken the white head to her fresh young bosom in +the garret of Saint Antoine, she had been true to her duties. She was +truest to them in the season of trial, as all the quietly loyal and good +will always be. + +As soon as they were established in their new residence, and her father +had entered on the routine of his avocations, she arranged the little +household as exactly as if her husband had been there. Everything had +its appointed place and its appointed time. Little Lucie she taught, +as regularly, as if they had all been united in their English home. The +slight devices with which she cheated herself into the show of a belief +that they would soon be reunited--the little preparations for his speedy +return, the setting aside of his chair and his books--these, and the +solemn prayer at night for one dear prisoner especially, among the many +unhappy souls in prison and the shadow of death--were almost the only +outspoken reliefs of her heavy mind. + +She did not greatly alter in appearance. The plain dark dresses, akin to +mourning dresses, which she and her child wore, were as neat and as well +attended to as the brighter clothes of happy days. She lost her colour, +and the old and intent expression was a constant, not an occasional, +thing; otherwise, she remained very pretty and comely. Sometimes, at +night on kissing her father, she would burst into the grief she had +repressed all day, and would say that her sole reliance, under Heaven, +was on him. He always resolutely answered: "Nothing can happen to him +without my knowledge, and I know that I can save him, Lucie." + +They had not made the round of their changed life many weeks, when her +father said to her, on coming home one evening: + +"My dear, there is an upper window in the prison, to which Charles can +sometimes gain access at three in the afternoon. When he can get to +it--which depends on many uncertainties and incidents--he might see you +in the street, he thinks, if you stood in a certain place that I can +show you. But you will not be able to see him, my poor child, and even +if you could, it would be unsafe for you to make a sign of recognition." + +"O show me the place, my father, and I will go there every day." + +From that time, in all weathers, she waited there two hours. As the +clock struck two, she was there, and at four she turned resignedly away. +When it was not too wet or inclement for her child to be with her, they +went together; at other times she was alone; but, she never missed a +single day. + +It was the dark and dirty corner of a small winding street. The hovel +of a cutter of wood into lengths for burning, was the only house at that +end; all else was wall. On the third day of her being there, he noticed +her. + +"Good day, citizeness." + +"Good day, citizen." + +This mode of address was now prescribed by decree. It had been +established voluntarily some time ago, among the more thorough patriots; +but, was now law for everybody. + +"Walking here again, citizeness?" + +"You see me, citizen!" + +The wood-sawyer, who was a little man with a redundancy of gesture (he +had once been a mender of roads), cast a glance at the prison, pointed +at the prison, and putting his ten fingers before his face to represent +bars, peeped through them jocosely. + +"But it's not my business," said he. And went on sawing his wood. + +Next day he was looking out for her, and accosted her the moment she +appeared. + +"What? Walking here again, citizeness?" + +"Yes, citizen." + +"Ah! A child too! Your mother, is it not, my little citizeness?" + +"Do I say yes, mamma?" whispered little Lucie, drawing close to her. + +"Yes, dearest." + +"Yes, citizen." + +"Ah! But it's not my business. My work is my business. See my saw! I +call it my Little Guillotine. La, la, la; La, la, la! And off his head +comes!" + +The billet fell as he spoke, and he threw it into a basket. + +"I call myself the Samson of the firewood guillotine. See here again! +Loo, loo, loo; Loo, loo, loo! And off _her_ head comes! Now, a child. +Tickle, tickle; Pickle, pickle! And off _its_ head comes. All the +family!" + +Lucie shuddered as he threw two more billets into his basket, but it was +impossible to be there while the wood-sawyer was at work, and not be in +his sight. Thenceforth, to secure his good will, she always spoke to him +first, and often gave him drink-money, which he readily received. + +He was an inquisitive fellow, and sometimes when she had quite forgotten +him in gazing at the prison roof and grates, and in lifting her heart +up to her husband, she would come to herself to find him looking at her, +with his knee on his bench and his saw stopped in its work. "But it's +not my business!" he would generally say at those times, and would +briskly fall to his sawing again. + +In all weathers, in the snow and frost of winter, in the bitter winds of +spring, in the hot sunshine of summer, in the rains of autumn, and again +in the snow and frost of winter, Lucie passed two hours of every day at +this place; and every day on leaving it, she kissed the prison wall. +Her husband saw her (so she learned from her father) it might be once in +five or six times: it might be twice or thrice running: it might be, not +for a week or a fortnight together. It was enough that he could and did +see her when the chances served, and on that possibility she would have +waited out the day, seven days a week. + +These occupations brought her round to the December month, wherein her +father walked among the terrors with a steady head. On a lightly-snowing +afternoon she arrived at the usual corner. It was a day of some wild +rejoicing, and a festival. She had seen the houses, as she came along, +decorated with little pikes, and with little red caps stuck upon them; +also, with tricoloured ribbons; also, with the standard inscription +(tricoloured letters were the favourite), Republic One and Indivisible. +Liberty, Equality, Fraternity, or Death! + +The miserable shop of the wood-sawyer was so small, that its whole +surface furnished very indifferent space for this legend. He had got +somebody to scrawl it up for him, however, who had squeezed Death in +with most inappropriate difficulty. On his house-top, he displayed pike +and cap, as a good citizen must, and in a window he had stationed his +saw inscribed as his "Little Sainte Guillotine"--for the great sharp +female was by that time popularly canonised. His shop was shut and he +was not there, which was a relief to Lucie, and left her quite alone. + +But, he was not far off, for presently she heard a troubled movement +and a shouting coming along, which filled her with fear. A moment +afterwards, and a throng of people came pouring round the corner by the +prison wall, in the midst of whom was the wood-sawyer hand in hand with +The Vengeance. There could not be fewer than five hundred people, and +they were dancing like five thousand demons. There was no other music +than their own singing. They danced to the popular Revolution song, +keeping a ferocious time that was like a gnashing of teeth in unison. +Men and women danced together, women danced together, men danced +together, as hazard had brought them together. At first, they were a +mere storm of coarse red caps and coarse woollen rags; but, as they +filled the place, and stopped to dance about Lucie, some ghastly +apparition of a dance-figure gone raving mad arose among them. They +advanced, retreated, struck at one another's hands, clutched at one +another's heads, spun round alone, caught one another and spun round +in pairs, until many of them dropped. While those were down, the rest +linked hand in hand, and all spun round together: then the ring broke, +and in separate rings of two and four they turned and turned until they +all stopped at once, began again, struck, clutched, and tore, and then +reversed the spin, and all spun round another way. Suddenly they stopped +again, paused, struck out the time afresh, formed into lines the width +of the public way, and, with their heads low down and their hands high +up, swooped screaming off. No fight could have been half so terrible +as this dance. It was so emphatically a fallen sport--a something, once +innocent, delivered over to all devilry--a healthy pastime changed into +a means of angering the blood, bewildering the senses, and steeling the +heart. Such grace as was visible in it, made it the uglier, showing how +warped and perverted all things good by nature were become. The maidenly +bosom bared to this, the pretty almost-child's head thus distracted, the +delicate foot mincing in this slough of blood and dirt, were types of +the disjointed time. + +This was the Carmagnole. As it passed, leaving Lucie frightened and +bewildered in the doorway of the wood-sawyer's house, the feathery snow +fell as quietly and lay as white and soft, as if it had never been. + +"O my father!" for he stood before her when she lifted up the eyes she +had momentarily darkened with her hand; "such a cruel, bad sight." + +"I know, my dear, I know. I have seen it many times. Don't be +frightened! Not one of them would harm you." + +"I am not frightened for myself, my father. But when I think of my +husband, and the mercies of these people--" + +"We will set him above their mercies very soon. I left him climbing to +the window, and I came to tell you. There is no one here to see. You may +kiss your hand towards that highest shelving roof." + +"I do so, father, and I send him my Soul with it!" + +"You cannot see him, my poor dear?" + +"No, father," said Lucie, yearning and weeping as she kissed her hand, +"no." + +A footstep in the snow. Madame Defarge. "I salute you, citizeness," +from the Doctor. "I salute you, citizen." This in passing. Nothing more. +Madame Defarge gone, like a shadow over the white road. + +"Give me your arm, my love. Pass from here with an air of cheerfulness +and courage, for his sake. That was well done;" they had left the spot; +"it shall not be in vain. Charles is summoned for to-morrow." + +"For to-morrow!" + +"There is no time to lose. I am well prepared, but there are precautions +to be taken, that could not be taken until he was actually summoned +before the Tribunal. He has not received the notice yet, but I know +that he will presently be summoned for to-morrow, and removed to the +Conciergerie; I have timely information. You are not afraid?" + +She could scarcely answer, "I trust in you." + +"Do so, implicitly. Your suspense is nearly ended, my darling; he shall +be restored to you within a few hours; I have encompassed him with every +protection. I must see Lorry." + +He stopped. There was a heavy lumbering of wheels within hearing. They +both knew too well what it meant. One. Two. Three. Three tumbrils faring +away with their dread loads over the hushing snow. + +"I must see Lorry," the Doctor repeated, turning her another way. + +The staunch old gentleman was still in his trust; had never left it. He +and his books were in frequent requisition as to property confiscated +and made national. What he could save for the owners, he saved. No +better man living to hold fast by what Tellson's had in keeping, and to +hold his peace. + +A murky red and yellow sky, and a rising mist from the Seine, denoted +the approach of darkness. It was almost dark when they arrived at the +Bank. The stately residence of Monseigneur was altogether blighted and +deserted. Above a heap of dust and ashes in the court, ran the letters: +National Property. Republic One and Indivisible. Liberty, Equality, +Fraternity, or Death! + +Who could that be with Mr. Lorry--the owner of the riding-coat upon the +chair--who must not be seen? From whom newly arrived, did he come out, +agitated and surprised, to take his favourite in his arms? To whom did +he appear to repeat her faltering words, when, raising his voice and +turning his head towards the door of the room from which he had issued, +he said: "Removed to the Conciergerie, and summoned for to-morrow?" + + + + +VI. Triumph + + +The dread tribunal of five Judges, Public Prosecutor, and determined +Jury, sat every day. Their lists went forth every evening, and were +read out by the gaolers of the various prisons to their prisoners. The +standard gaoler-joke was, "Come out and listen to the Evening Paper, you +inside there!" + +"Charles Evremonde, called Darnay!" + +So at last began the Evening Paper at La Force. + +When a name was called, its owner stepped apart into a spot reserved +for those who were announced as being thus fatally recorded. Charles +Evremonde, called Darnay, had reason to know the usage; he had seen +hundreds pass away so. + +His bloated gaoler, who wore spectacles to read with, glanced over them +to assure himself that he had taken his place, and went through the +list, making a similar short pause at each name. There were twenty-three +names, but only twenty were responded to; for one of the prisoners so +summoned had died in gaol and been forgotten, and two had already been +guillotined and forgotten. The list was read, in the vaulted chamber +where Darnay had seen the associated prisoners on the night of his +arrival. Every one of those had perished in the massacre; every human +creature he had since cared for and parted with, had died on the +scaffold. + +There were hurried words of farewell and kindness, but the parting was +soon over. It was the incident of every day, and the society of La Force +were engaged in the preparation of some games of forfeits and a little +concert, for that evening. They crowded to the grates and shed tears +there; but, twenty places in the projected entertainments had to be +refilled, and the time was, at best, short to the lock-up hour, when the +common rooms and corridors would be delivered over to the great dogs +who kept watch there through the night. The prisoners were far from +insensible or unfeeling; their ways arose out of the condition of the +time. Similarly, though with a subtle difference, a species of fervour +or intoxication, known, without doubt, to have led some persons to +brave the guillotine unnecessarily, and to die by it, was not mere +boastfulness, but a wild infection of the wildly shaken public mind. In +seasons of pestilence, some of us will have a secret attraction to the +disease--a terrible passing inclination to die of it. And all of us have +like wonders hidden in our breasts, only needing circumstances to evoke +them. + +The passage to the Conciergerie was short and dark; the night in its +vermin-haunted cells was long and cold. Next day, fifteen prisoners were +put to the bar before Charles Darnay's name was called. All the fifteen +were condemned, and the trials of the whole occupied an hour and a half. + +"Charles Evremonde, called Darnay," was at length arraigned. + +His judges sat upon the Bench in feathered hats; but the rough red cap +and tricoloured cockade was the head-dress otherwise prevailing. Looking +at the Jury and the turbulent audience, he might have thought that the +usual order of things was reversed, and that the felons were trying the +honest men. The lowest, cruelest, and worst populace of a city, never +without its quantity of low, cruel, and bad, were the directing +spirits of the scene: noisily commenting, applauding, disapproving, +anticipating, and precipitating the result, without a check. Of the men, +the greater part were armed in various ways; of the women, some wore +knives, some daggers, some ate and drank as they looked on, many +knitted. Among these last, was one, with a spare piece of knitting under +her arm as she worked. She was in a front row, by the side of a man whom +he had never seen since his arrival at the Barrier, but whom he directly +remembered as Defarge. He noticed that she once or twice whispered in +his ear, and that she seemed to be his wife; but, what he most noticed +in the two figures was, that although they were posted as close to +himself as they could be, they never looked towards him. They seemed to +be waiting for something with a dogged determination, and they looked at +the Jury, but at nothing else. Under the President sat Doctor Manette, +in his usual quiet dress. As well as the prisoner could see, he and Mr. +Lorry were the only men there, unconnected with the Tribunal, who +wore their usual clothes, and had not assumed the coarse garb of the +Carmagnole. + +Charles Evremonde, called Darnay, was accused by the public prosecutor +as an emigrant, whose life was forfeit to the Republic, under the decree +which banished all emigrants on pain of Death. It was nothing that the +decree bore date since his return to France. There he was, and there was +the decree; he had been taken in France, and his head was demanded. + +"Take off his head!" cried the audience. "An enemy to the Republic!" + +The President rang his bell to silence those cries, and asked the +prisoner whether it was not true that he had lived many years in +England? + +Undoubtedly it was. + +Was he not an emigrant then? What did he call himself? + +Not an emigrant, he hoped, within the sense and spirit of the law. + +Why not? the President desired to know. + +Because he had voluntarily relinquished a title that was distasteful +to him, and a station that was distasteful to him, and had left +his country--he submitted before the word emigrant in the present +acceptation by the Tribunal was in use--to live by his own industry in +England, rather than on the industry of the overladen people of France. + +What proof had he of this? + +He handed in the names of two witnesses; Theophile Gabelle, and +Alexandre Manette. + +But he had married in England? the President reminded him. + +True, but not an English woman. + +A citizeness of France? + +Yes. By birth. + +Her name and family? + +"Lucie Manette, only daughter of Doctor Manette, the good physician who +sits there." + +This answer had a happy effect upon the audience. Cries in exaltation +of the well-known good physician rent the hall. So capriciously were +the people moved, that tears immediately rolled down several ferocious +countenances which had been glaring at the prisoner a moment before, as +if with impatience to pluck him out into the streets and kill him. + +On these few steps of his dangerous way, Charles Darnay had set his foot +according to Doctor Manette's reiterated instructions. The same cautious +counsel directed every step that lay before him, and had prepared every +inch of his road. + +The President asked, why had he returned to France when he did, and not +sooner? + +He had not returned sooner, he replied, simply because he had no means +of living in France, save those he had resigned; whereas, in England, +he lived by giving instruction in the French language and literature. +He had returned when he did, on the pressing and written entreaty of +a French citizen, who represented that his life was endangered by his +absence. He had come back, to save a citizen's life, and to bear his +testimony, at whatever personal hazard, to the truth. Was that criminal +in the eyes of the Republic? + +The populace cried enthusiastically, "No!" and the President rang his +bell to quiet them. Which it did not, for they continued to cry "No!" +until they left off, of their own will. + +The President required the name of that citizen. The accused explained +that the citizen was his first witness. He also referred with confidence +to the citizen's letter, which had been taken from him at the Barrier, +but which he did not doubt would be found among the papers then before +the President. + +The Doctor had taken care that it should be there--had assured him that +it would be there--and at this stage of the proceedings it was produced +and read. Citizen Gabelle was called to confirm it, and did so. Citizen +Gabelle hinted, with infinite delicacy and politeness, that in the +pressure of business imposed on the Tribunal by the multitude of +enemies of the Republic with which it had to deal, he had been slightly +overlooked in his prison of the Abbaye--in fact, had rather passed out +of the Tribunal's patriotic remembrance--until three days ago; when he +had been summoned before it, and had been set at liberty on the Jury's +declaring themselves satisfied that the accusation against him was +answered, as to himself, by the surrender of the citizen Evremonde, +called Darnay. + +Doctor Manette was next questioned. His high personal popularity, +and the clearness of his answers, made a great impression; but, as he +proceeded, as he showed that the Accused was his first friend on his +release from his long imprisonment; that, the accused had remained in +England, always faithful and devoted to his daughter and himself in +their exile; that, so far from being in favour with the Aristocrat +government there, he had actually been tried for his life by it, as +the foe of England and friend of the United States--as he brought these +circumstances into view, with the greatest discretion and with the +straightforward force of truth and earnestness, the Jury and the +populace became one. At last, when he appealed by name to Monsieur +Lorry, an English gentleman then and there present, who, like himself, +had been a witness on that English trial and could corroborate his +account of it, the Jury declared that they had heard enough, and that +they were ready with their votes if the President were content to +receive them. + +At every vote (the Jurymen voted aloud and individually), the populace +set up a shout of applause. All the voices were in the prisoner's +favour, and the President declared him free. + +Then, began one of those extraordinary scenes with which the populace +sometimes gratified their fickleness, or their better impulses towards +generosity and mercy, or which they regarded as some set-off against +their swollen account of cruel rage. No man can decide now to which of +these motives such extraordinary scenes were referable; it is probable, +to a blending of all the three, with the second predominating. No sooner +was the acquittal pronounced, than tears were shed as freely as blood +at another time, and such fraternal embraces were bestowed upon the +prisoner by as many of both sexes as could rush at him, that after +his long and unwholesome confinement he was in danger of fainting from +exhaustion; none the less because he knew very well, that the very same +people, carried by another current, would have rushed at him with +the very same intensity, to rend him to pieces and strew him over the +streets. + +His removal, to make way for other accused persons who were to be tried, +rescued him from these caresses for the moment. Five were to be tried +together, next, as enemies of the Republic, forasmuch as they had not +assisted it by word or deed. So quick was the Tribunal to compensate +itself and the nation for a chance lost, that these five came down to +him before he left the place, condemned to die within twenty-four +hours. The first of them told him so, with the customary prison sign +of Death--a raised finger--and they all added in words, "Long live the +Republic!" + +The five had had, it is true, no audience to lengthen their proceedings, +for when he and Doctor Manette emerged from the gate, there was a great +crowd about it, in which there seemed to be every face he had seen in +Court--except two, for which he looked in vain. On his coming out, the +concourse made at him anew, weeping, embracing, and shouting, all by +turns and all together, until the very tide of the river on the bank of +which the mad scene was acted, seemed to run mad, like the people on the +shore. + +They put him into a great chair they had among them, and which they had +taken either out of the Court itself, or one of its rooms or passages. +Over the chair they had thrown a red flag, and to the back of it they +had bound a pike with a red cap on its top. In this car of triumph, not +even the Doctor's entreaties could prevent his being carried to his home +on men's shoulders, with a confused sea of red caps heaving about him, +and casting up to sight from the stormy deep such wrecks of faces, that +he more than once misdoubted his mind being in confusion, and that he +was in the tumbril on his way to the Guillotine. + +In wild dreamlike procession, embracing whom they met and pointing +him out, they carried him on. Reddening the snowy streets with the +prevailing Republican colour, in winding and tramping through them, as +they had reddened them below the snow with a deeper dye, they carried +him thus into the courtyard of the building where he lived. Her father +had gone on before, to prepare her, and when her husband stood upon his +feet, she dropped insensible in his arms. + +As he held her to his heart and turned her beautiful head between his +face and the brawling crowd, so that his tears and her lips might come +together unseen, a few of the people fell to dancing. Instantly, all the +rest fell to dancing, and the courtyard overflowed with the Carmagnole. +Then, they elevated into the vacant chair a young woman from the +crowd to be carried as the Goddess of Liberty, and then swelling and +overflowing out into the adjacent streets, and along the river's bank, +and over the bridge, the Carmagnole absorbed them every one and whirled +them away. + +After grasping the Doctor's hand, as he stood victorious and proud +before him; after grasping the hand of Mr. Lorry, who came panting in +breathless from his struggle against the waterspout of the Carmagnole; +after kissing little Lucie, who was lifted up to clasp her arms round +his neck; and after embracing the ever zealous and faithful Pross who +lifted her; he took his wife in his arms, and carried her up to their +rooms. + +"Lucie! My own! I am safe." + +"O dearest Charles, let me thank God for this on my knees as I have +prayed to Him." + +They all reverently bowed their heads and hearts. When she was again in +his arms, he said to her: + +"And now speak to your father, dearest. No other man in all this France +could have done what he has done for me." + +She laid her head upon her father's breast, as she had laid his poor +head on her own breast, long, long ago. He was happy in the return he +had made her, he was recompensed for his suffering, he was proud of his +strength. "You must not be weak, my darling," he remonstrated; "don't +tremble so. I have saved him." + + + + +VII. A Knock at the Door + + +"I have saved him." It was not another of the dreams in which he had +often come back; he was really here. And yet his wife trembled, and a +vague but heavy fear was upon her. + +All the air round was so thick and dark, the people were so passionately +revengeful and fitful, the innocent were so constantly put to death on +vague suspicion and black malice, it was so impossible to forget that +many as blameless as her husband and as dear to others as he was to +her, every day shared the fate from which he had been clutched, that her +heart could not be as lightened of its load as she felt it ought to be. +The shadows of the wintry afternoon were beginning to fall, and even now +the dreadful carts were rolling through the streets. Her mind pursued +them, looking for him among the Condemned; and then she clung closer to +his real presence and trembled more. + +Her father, cheering her, showed a compassionate superiority to this +woman's weakness, which was wonderful to see. No garret, no shoemaking, +no One Hundred and Five, North Tower, now! He had accomplished the task +he had set himself, his promise was redeemed, he had saved Charles. Let +them all lean upon him. + +Their housekeeping was of a very frugal kind: not only because that was +the safest way of life, involving the least offence to the people, but +because they were not rich, and Charles, throughout his imprisonment, +had had to pay heavily for his bad food, and for his guard, and towards +the living of the poorer prisoners. Partly on this account, and +partly to avoid a domestic spy, they kept no servant; the citizen and +citizeness who acted as porters at the courtyard gate, rendered them +occasional service; and Jerry (almost wholly transferred to them by +Mr. Lorry) had become their daily retainer, and had his bed there every +night. + +It was an ordinance of the Republic One and Indivisible of Liberty, +Equality, Fraternity, or Death, that on the door or doorpost of every +house, the name of every inmate must be legibly inscribed in letters +of a certain size, at a certain convenient height from the ground. Mr. +Jerry Cruncher's name, therefore, duly embellished the doorpost down +below; and, as the afternoon shadows deepened, the owner of that name +himself appeared, from overlooking a painter whom Doctor Manette had +employed to add to the list the name of Charles Evremonde, called +Darnay. + +In the universal fear and distrust that darkened the time, all the usual +harmless ways of life were changed. In the Doctor's little household, as +in very many others, the articles of daily consumption that were wanted +were purchased every evening, in small quantities and at various small +shops. To avoid attracting notice, and to give as little occasion as +possible for talk and envy, was the general desire. + +For some months past, Miss Pross and Mr. Cruncher had discharged the +office of purveyors; the former carrying the money; the latter, the +basket. Every afternoon at about the time when the public lamps were +lighted, they fared forth on this duty, and made and brought home +such purchases as were needful. Although Miss Pross, through her long +association with a French family, might have known as much of their +language as of her own, if she had had a mind, she had no mind in that +direction; consequently she knew no more of that "nonsense" (as she was +pleased to call it) than Mr. Cruncher did. So her manner of marketing +was to plump a noun-substantive at the head of a shopkeeper without any +introduction in the nature of an article, and, if it happened not to be +the name of the thing she wanted, to look round for that thing, lay hold +of it, and hold on by it until the bargain was concluded. She always +made a bargain for it, by holding up, as a statement of its just price, +one finger less than the merchant held up, whatever his number might be. + +"Now, Mr. Cruncher," said Miss Pross, whose eyes were red with felicity; +"if you are ready, I am." + +Jerry hoarsely professed himself at Miss Pross's service. He had worn +all his rust off long ago, but nothing would file his spiky head down. + +"There's all manner of things wanted," said Miss Pross, "and we shall +have a precious time of it. We want wine, among the rest. Nice toasts +these Redheads will be drinking, wherever we buy it." + +"It will be much the same to your knowledge, miss, I should think," +retorted Jerry, "whether they drink your health or the Old Un's." + +"Who's he?" said Miss Pross. + +Mr. Cruncher, with some diffidence, explained himself as meaning "Old +Nick's." + +"Ha!" said Miss Pross, "it doesn't need an interpreter to explain the +meaning of these creatures. They have but one, and it's Midnight Murder, +and Mischief." + +"Hush, dear! Pray, pray, be cautious!" cried Lucie. + +"Yes, yes, yes, I'll be cautious," said Miss Pross; "but I may say +among ourselves, that I do hope there will be no oniony and tobaccoey +smotherings in the form of embracings all round, going on in the +streets. Now, Ladybird, never you stir from that fire till I come back! +Take care of the dear husband you have recovered, and don't move your +pretty head from his shoulder as you have it now, till you see me again! +May I ask a question, Doctor Manette, before I go?" + +"I think you may take that liberty," the Doctor answered, smiling. + +"For gracious sake, don't talk about Liberty; we have quite enough of +that," said Miss Pross. + +"Hush, dear! Again?" Lucie remonstrated. + +"Well, my sweet," said Miss Pross, nodding her head emphatically, "the +short and the long of it is, that I am a subject of His Most Gracious +Majesty King George the Third;" Miss Pross curtseyed at the name; "and +as such, my maxim is, Confound their politics, Frustrate their knavish +tricks, On him our hopes we fix, God save the King!" + +Mr. Cruncher, in an access of loyalty, growlingly repeated the words +after Miss Pross, like somebody at church. + +"I am glad you have so much of the Englishman in you, though I wish you +had never taken that cold in your voice," said Miss Pross, approvingly. +"But the question, Doctor Manette. Is there"--it was the good creature's +way to affect to make light of anything that was a great anxiety +with them all, and to come at it in this chance manner--"is there any +prospect yet, of our getting out of this place?" + +"I fear not yet. It would be dangerous for Charles yet." + +"Heigh-ho-hum!" said Miss Pross, cheerfully repressing a sigh as she +glanced at her darling's golden hair in the light of the fire, "then we +must have patience and wait: that's all. We must hold up our heads and +fight low, as my brother Solomon used to say. Now, Mr. Cruncher!--Don't +you move, Ladybird!" + +They went out, leaving Lucie, and her husband, her father, and the +child, by a bright fire. Mr. Lorry was expected back presently from the +Banking House. Miss Pross had lighted the lamp, but had put it aside in +a corner, that they might enjoy the fire-light undisturbed. Little Lucie +sat by her grandfather with her hands clasped through his arm: and he, +in a tone not rising much above a whisper, began to tell her a story of +a great and powerful Fairy who had opened a prison-wall and let out +a captive who had once done the Fairy a service. All was subdued and +quiet, and Lucie was more at ease than she had been. + +"What is that?" she cried, all at once. + +"My dear!" said her father, stopping in his story, and laying his hand +on hers, "command yourself. What a disordered state you are in! The +least thing--nothing--startles you! _You_, your father's daughter!" + +"I thought, my father," said Lucie, excusing herself, with a pale face +and in a faltering voice, "that I heard strange feet upon the stairs." + +"My love, the staircase is as still as Death." + +As he said the word, a blow was struck upon the door. + +"Oh father, father. What can this be! Hide Charles. Save him!" + +"My child," said the Doctor, rising, and laying his hand upon her +shoulder, "I _have_ saved him. What weakness is this, my dear! Let me go +to the door." + +He took the lamp in his hand, crossed the two intervening outer rooms, +and opened it. A rude clattering of feet over the floor, and four rough +men in red caps, armed with sabres and pistols, entered the room. + +"The Citizen Evremonde, called Darnay," said the first. + +"Who seeks him?" answered Darnay. + +"I seek him. We seek him. I know you, Evremonde; I saw you before the +Tribunal to-day. You are again the prisoner of the Republic." + +The four surrounded him, where he stood with his wife and child clinging +to him. + +"Tell me how and why am I again a prisoner?" + +"It is enough that you return straight to the Conciergerie, and will +know to-morrow. You are summoned for to-morrow." + +Doctor Manette, whom this visitation had so turned into stone, that he +stood with the lamp in his hand, as if he were a statue made to hold it, +moved after these words were spoken, put the lamp down, and confronting +the speaker, and taking him, not ungently, by the loose front of his red +woollen shirt, said: + +"You know him, you have said. Do you know me?" + +"Yes, I know you, Citizen Doctor." + +"We all know you, Citizen Doctor," said the other three. + +He looked abstractedly from one to another, and said, in a lower voice, +after a pause: + +"Will you answer his question to me then? How does this happen?" + +"Citizen Doctor," said the first, reluctantly, "he has been denounced to +the Section of Saint Antoine. This citizen," pointing out the second who +had entered, "is from Saint Antoine." + +The citizen here indicated nodded his head, and added: + +"He is accused by Saint Antoine." + +"Of what?" asked the Doctor. + +"Citizen Doctor," said the first, with his former reluctance, "ask no +more. If the Republic demands sacrifices from you, without doubt you as +a good patriot will be happy to make them. The Republic goes before all. +The People is supreme. Evremonde, we are pressed." + +"One word," the Doctor entreated. "Will you tell me who denounced him?" + +"It is against rule," answered the first; "but you can ask Him of Saint +Antoine here." + +The Doctor turned his eyes upon that man. Who moved uneasily on his +feet, rubbed his beard a little, and at length said: + +"Well! Truly it is against rule. But he is denounced--and gravely--by +the Citizen and Citizeness Defarge. And by one other." + +"What other?" + +"Do _you_ ask, Citizen Doctor?" + +"Yes." + +"Then," said he of Saint Antoine, with a strange look, "you will be +answered to-morrow. Now, I am dumb!" + + + + +VIII. A Hand at Cards + + +Happily unconscious of the new calamity at home, Miss Pross threaded her +way along the narrow streets and crossed the river by the bridge of the +Pont-Neuf, reckoning in her mind the number of indispensable purchases +she had to make. Mr. Cruncher, with the basket, walked at her side. They +both looked to the right and to the left into most of the shops they +passed, had a wary eye for all gregarious assemblages of people, and +turned out of their road to avoid any very excited group of talkers. It +was a raw evening, and the misty river, blurred to the eye with blazing +lights and to the ear with harsh noises, showed where the barges were +stationed in which the smiths worked, making guns for the Army of the +Republic. Woe to the man who played tricks with _that_ Army, or got +undeserved promotion in it! Better for him that his beard had never +grown, for the National Razor shaved him close. + +Having purchased a few small articles of grocery, and a measure of oil +for the lamp, Miss Pross bethought herself of the wine they wanted. +After peeping into several wine-shops, she stopped at the sign of the +Good Republican Brutus of Antiquity, not far from the National Palace, +once (and twice) the Tuileries, where the aspect of things rather +took her fancy. It had a quieter look than any other place of the same +description they had passed, and, though red with patriotic caps, was +not so red as the rest. Sounding Mr. Cruncher, and finding him of her +opinion, Miss Pross resorted to the Good Republican Brutus of Antiquity, +attended by her cavalier. + +Slightly observant of the smoky lights; of the people, pipe in mouth, +playing with limp cards and yellow dominoes; of the one bare-breasted, +bare-armed, soot-begrimed workman reading a journal aloud, and of +the others listening to him; of the weapons worn, or laid aside to be +resumed; of the two or three customers fallen forward asleep, who in the +popular high-shouldered shaggy black spencer looked, in that attitude, +like slumbering bears or dogs; the two outlandish customers approached +the counter, and showed what they wanted. + +As their wine was measuring out, a man parted from another man in a +corner, and rose to depart. In going, he had to face Miss Pross. No +sooner did he face her, than Miss Pross uttered a scream, and clapped +her hands. + +In a moment, the whole company were on their feet. That somebody was +assassinated by somebody vindicating a difference of opinion was the +likeliest occurrence. Everybody looked to see somebody fall, but only +saw a man and a woman standing staring at each other; the man with all +the outward aspect of a Frenchman and a thorough Republican; the woman, +evidently English. + +What was said in this disappointing anti-climax, by the disciples of the +Good Republican Brutus of Antiquity, except that it was something very +voluble and loud, would have been as so much Hebrew or Chaldean to Miss +Pross and her protector, though they had been all ears. But, they had no +ears for anything in their surprise. For, it must be recorded, that +not only was Miss Pross lost in amazement and agitation, but, +Mr. Cruncher--though it seemed on his own separate and individual +account--was in a state of the greatest wonder. + +"What is the matter?" said the man who had caused Miss Pross to scream; +speaking in a vexed, abrupt voice (though in a low tone), and in +English. + +"Oh, Solomon, dear Solomon!" cried Miss Pross, clapping her hands again. +"After not setting eyes upon you or hearing of you for so long a time, +do I find you here!" + +"Don't call me Solomon. Do you want to be the death of me?" asked the +man, in a furtive, frightened way. + +"Brother, brother!" cried Miss Pross, bursting into tears. "Have I ever +been so hard with you that you ask me such a cruel question?" + +"Then hold your meddlesome tongue," said Solomon, "and come out, if you +want to speak to me. Pay for your wine, and come out. Who's this man?" + +Miss Pross, shaking her loving and dejected head at her by no means +affectionate brother, said through her tears, "Mr. Cruncher." + +"Let him come out too," said Solomon. "Does he think me a ghost?" + +Apparently, Mr. Cruncher did, to judge from his looks. He said not a +word, however, and Miss Pross, exploring the depths of her reticule +through her tears with great difficulty paid for her wine. As she did +so, Solomon turned to the followers of the Good Republican Brutus +of Antiquity, and offered a few words of explanation in the French +language, which caused them all to relapse into their former places and +pursuits. + +"Now," said Solomon, stopping at the dark street corner, "what do you +want?" + +"How dreadfully unkind in a brother nothing has ever turned my love away +from!" cried Miss Pross, "to give me such a greeting, and show me no +affection." + +"There. Confound it! There," said Solomon, making a dab at Miss Pross's +lips with his own. "Now are you content?" + +Miss Pross only shook her head and wept in silence. + +"If you expect me to be surprised," said her brother Solomon, "I am not +surprised; I knew you were here; I know of most people who are here. If +you really don't want to endanger my existence--which I half believe you +do--go your ways as soon as possible, and let me go mine. I am busy. I +am an official." + +"My English brother Solomon," mourned Miss Pross, casting up her +tear-fraught eyes, "that had the makings in him of one of the best and +greatest of men in his native country, an official among foreigners, and +such foreigners! I would almost sooner have seen the dear boy lying in +his--" + +"I said so!" cried her brother, interrupting. "I knew it. You want to be +the death of me. I shall be rendered Suspected, by my own sister. Just +as I am getting on!" + +"The gracious and merciful Heavens forbid!" cried Miss Pross. "Far +rather would I never see you again, dear Solomon, though I have ever +loved you truly, and ever shall. Say but one affectionate word to me, +and tell me there is nothing angry or estranged between us, and I will +detain you no longer." + +Good Miss Pross! As if the estrangement between them had come of any +culpability of hers. As if Mr. Lorry had not known it for a fact, years +ago, in the quiet corner in Soho, that this precious brother had spent +her money and left her! + +He was saying the affectionate word, however, with a far more grudging +condescension and patronage than he could have shown if their relative +merits and positions had been reversed (which is invariably the case, +all the world over), when Mr. Cruncher, touching him on the shoulder, +hoarsely and unexpectedly interposed with the following singular +question: + +"I say! Might I ask the favour? As to whether your name is John Solomon, +or Solomon John?" + +The official turned towards him with sudden distrust. He had not +previously uttered a word. + +"Come!" said Mr. Cruncher. "Speak out, you know." (Which, by the way, +was more than he could do himself.) "John Solomon, or Solomon John? She +calls you Solomon, and she must know, being your sister. And _I_ know +you're John, you know. Which of the two goes first? And regarding that +name of Pross, likewise. That warn't your name over the water." + +"What do you mean?" + +"Well, I don't know all I mean, for I can't call to mind what your name +was, over the water." + +"No?" + +"No. But I'll swear it was a name of two syllables." + +"Indeed?" + +"Yes. T'other one's was one syllable. I know you. You was a spy--witness +at the Bailey. What, in the name of the Father of Lies, own father to +yourself, was you called at that time?" + +"Barsad," said another voice, striking in. + +"That's the name for a thousand pound!" cried Jerry. + +The speaker who struck in, was Sydney Carton. He had his hands behind +him under the skirts of his riding-coat, and he stood at Mr. Cruncher's +elbow as negligently as he might have stood at the Old Bailey itself. + +"Don't be alarmed, my dear Miss Pross. I arrived at Mr. Lorry's, to his +surprise, yesterday evening; we agreed that I would not present myself +elsewhere until all was well, or unless I could be useful; I present +myself here, to beg a little talk with your brother. I wish you had a +better employed brother than Mr. Barsad. I wish for your sake Mr. Barsad +was not a Sheep of the Prisons." + +Sheep was a cant word of the time for a spy, under the gaolers. The spy, +who was pale, turned paler, and asked him how he dared-- + +"I'll tell you," said Sydney. "I lighted on you, Mr. Barsad, coming out +of the prison of the Conciergerie while I was contemplating the walls, +an hour or more ago. You have a face to be remembered, and I remember +faces well. Made curious by seeing you in that connection, and having +a reason, to which you are no stranger, for associating you with +the misfortunes of a friend now very unfortunate, I walked in your +direction. I walked into the wine-shop here, close after you, and +sat near you. I had no difficulty in deducing from your unreserved +conversation, and the rumour openly going about among your admirers, the +nature of your calling. And gradually, what I had done at random, seemed +to shape itself into a purpose, Mr. Barsad." + +"What purpose?" the spy asked. + +"It would be troublesome, and might be dangerous, to explain in the +street. Could you favour me, in confidence, with some minutes of your +company--at the office of Tellson's Bank, for instance?" + +"Under a threat?" + +"Oh! Did I say that?" + +"Then, why should I go there?" + +"Really, Mr. Barsad, I can't say, if you can't." + +"Do you mean that you won't say, sir?" the spy irresolutely asked. + +"You apprehend me very clearly, Mr. Barsad. I won't." + +Carton's negligent recklessness of manner came powerfully in aid of his +quickness and skill, in such a business as he had in his secret mind, +and with such a man as he had to do with. His practised eye saw it, and +made the most of it. + +"Now, I told you so," said the spy, casting a reproachful look at his +sister; "if any trouble comes of this, it's your doing." + +"Come, come, Mr. Barsad!" exclaimed Sydney. "Don't be ungrateful. +But for my great respect for your sister, I might not have led up so +pleasantly to a little proposal that I wish to make for our mutual +satisfaction. Do you go with me to the Bank?" + +"I'll hear what you have got to say. Yes, I'll go with you." + +"I propose that we first conduct your sister safely to the corner of her +own street. Let me take your arm, Miss Pross. This is not a good city, +at this time, for you to be out in, unprotected; and as your escort +knows Mr. Barsad, I will invite him to Mr. Lorry's with us. Are we +ready? Come then!" + +Miss Pross recalled soon afterwards, and to the end of her life +remembered, that as she pressed her hands on Sydney's arm and looked up +in his face, imploring him to do no hurt to Solomon, there was a braced +purpose in the arm and a kind of inspiration in the eyes, which not only +contradicted his light manner, but changed and raised the man. She was +too much occupied then with fears for the brother who so little deserved +her affection, and with Sydney's friendly reassurances, adequately to +heed what she observed. + +They left her at the corner of the street, and Carton led the way to Mr. +Lorry's, which was within a few minutes' walk. John Barsad, or Solomon +Pross, walked at his side. + +Mr. Lorry had just finished his dinner, and was sitting before a cheery +little log or two of fire--perhaps looking into their blaze for the +picture of that younger elderly gentleman from Tellson's, who had looked +into the red coals at the Royal George at Dover, now a good many years +ago. He turned his head as they entered, and showed the surprise with +which he saw a stranger. + +"Miss Pross's brother, sir," said Sydney. "Mr. Barsad." + +"Barsad?" repeated the old gentleman, "Barsad? I have an association +with the name--and with the face." + +"I told you you had a remarkable face, Mr. Barsad," observed Carton, +coolly. "Pray sit down." + +As he took a chair himself, he supplied the link that Mr. Lorry wanted, +by saying to him with a frown, "Witness at that trial." Mr. Lorry +immediately remembered, and regarded his new visitor with an undisguised +look of abhorrence. + +"Mr. Barsad has been recognised by Miss Pross as the affectionate +brother you have heard of," said Sydney, "and has acknowledged the +relationship. I pass to worse news. Darnay has been arrested again." + +Struck with consternation, the old gentleman exclaimed, "What do you +tell me! I left him safe and free within these two hours, and am about +to return to him!" + +"Arrested for all that. When was it done, Mr. Barsad?" + +"Just now, if at all." + +"Mr. Barsad is the best authority possible, sir," said Sydney, "and I +have it from Mr. Barsad's communication to a friend and brother Sheep +over a bottle of wine, that the arrest has taken place. He left the +messengers at the gate, and saw them admitted by the porter. There is no +earthly doubt that he is retaken." + +Mr. Lorry's business eye read in the speaker's face that it was loss +of time to dwell upon the point. Confused, but sensible that something +might depend on his presence of mind, he commanded himself, and was +silently attentive. + +"Now, I trust," said Sydney to him, "that the name and influence of +Doctor Manette may stand him in as good stead to-morrow--you said he +would be before the Tribunal again to-morrow, Mr. Barsad?--" + +"Yes; I believe so." + +"--In as good stead to-morrow as to-day. But it may not be so. I own +to you, I am shaken, Mr. Lorry, by Doctor Manette's not having had the +power to prevent this arrest." + +"He may not have known of it beforehand," said Mr. Lorry. + +"But that very circumstance would be alarming, when we remember how +identified he is with his son-in-law." + +"That's true," Mr. Lorry acknowledged, with his troubled hand at his +chin, and his troubled eyes on Carton. + +"In short," said Sydney, "this is a desperate time, when desperate games +are played for desperate stakes. Let the Doctor play the winning game; I +will play the losing one. No man's life here is worth purchase. Any one +carried home by the people to-day, may be condemned tomorrow. Now, the +stake I have resolved to play for, in case of the worst, is a friend +in the Conciergerie. And the friend I purpose to myself to win, is Mr. +Barsad." + +"You need have good cards, sir," said the spy. + +"I'll run them over. I'll see what I hold,--Mr. Lorry, you know what a +brute I am; I wish you'd give me a little brandy." + +It was put before him, and he drank off a glassful--drank off another +glassful--pushed the bottle thoughtfully away. + +"Mr. Barsad," he went on, in the tone of one who really was looking +over a hand at cards: "Sheep of the prisons, emissary of Republican +committees, now turnkey, now prisoner, always spy and secret informer, +so much the more valuable here for being English that an Englishman +is less open to suspicion of subornation in those characters than a +Frenchman, represents himself to his employers under a false name. +That's a very good card. Mr. Barsad, now in the employ of the republican +French government, was formerly in the employ of the aristocratic +English government, the enemy of France and freedom. That's an excellent +card. Inference clear as day in this region of suspicion, that Mr. +Barsad, still in the pay of the aristocratic English government, is the +spy of Pitt, the treacherous foe of the Republic crouching in its bosom, +the English traitor and agent of all mischief so much spoken of and so +difficult to find. That's a card not to be beaten. Have you followed my +hand, Mr. Barsad?" + +"Not to understand your play," returned the spy, somewhat uneasily. + +"I play my Ace, Denunciation of Mr. Barsad to the nearest Section +Committee. Look over your hand, Mr. Barsad, and see what you have. Don't +hurry." + +He drew the bottle near, poured out another glassful of brandy, and +drank it off. He saw that the spy was fearful of his drinking himself +into a fit state for the immediate denunciation of him. Seeing it, he +poured out and drank another glassful. + +"Look over your hand carefully, Mr. Barsad. Take time." + +It was a poorer hand than he suspected. Mr. Barsad saw losing cards +in it that Sydney Carton knew nothing of. Thrown out of his honourable +employment in England, through too much unsuccessful hard swearing +there--not because he was not wanted there; our English reasons for +vaunting our superiority to secrecy and spies are of very modern +date--he knew that he had crossed the Channel, and accepted service in +France: first, as a tempter and an eavesdropper among his own countrymen +there: gradually, as a tempter and an eavesdropper among the natives. He +knew that under the overthrown government he had been a spy upon Saint +Antoine and Defarge's wine-shop; had received from the watchful police +such heads of information concerning Doctor Manette's imprisonment, +release, and history, as should serve him for an introduction to +familiar conversation with the Defarges; and tried them on Madame +Defarge, and had broken down with them signally. He always remembered +with fear and trembling, that that terrible woman had knitted when he +talked with her, and had looked ominously at him as her fingers moved. +He had since seen her, in the Section of Saint Antoine, over and over +again produce her knitted registers, and denounce people whose lives the +guillotine then surely swallowed up. He knew, as every one employed as +he was did, that he was never safe; that flight was impossible; that +he was tied fast under the shadow of the axe; and that in spite of +his utmost tergiversation and treachery in furtherance of the reigning +terror, a word might bring it down upon him. Once denounced, and on such +grave grounds as had just now been suggested to his mind, he foresaw +that the dreadful woman of whose unrelenting character he had seen many +proofs, would produce against him that fatal register, and would quash +his last chance of life. Besides that all secret men are men soon +terrified, here were surely cards enough of one black suit, to justify +the holder in growing rather livid as he turned them over. + +"You scarcely seem to like your hand," said Sydney, with the greatest +composure. "Do you play?" + +"I think, sir," said the spy, in the meanest manner, as he turned to Mr. +Lorry, "I may appeal to a gentleman of your years and benevolence, to +put it to this other gentleman, so much your junior, whether he can +under any circumstances reconcile it to his station to play that Ace +of which he has spoken. I admit that _I_ am a spy, and that it is +considered a discreditable station--though it must be filled by +somebody; but this gentleman is no spy, and why should he so demean +himself as to make himself one?" + +"I play my Ace, Mr. Barsad," said Carton, taking the answer on himself, +and looking at his watch, "without any scruple, in a very few minutes." + +"I should have hoped, gentlemen both," said the spy, always striving to +hook Mr. Lorry into the discussion, "that your respect for my sister--" + +"I could not better testify my respect for your sister than by finally +relieving her of her brother," said Sydney Carton. + +"You think not, sir?" + +"I have thoroughly made up my mind about it." + +The smooth manner of the spy, curiously in dissonance with his +ostentatiously rough dress, and probably with his usual demeanour, +received such a check from the inscrutability of Carton,--who was a +mystery to wiser and honester men than he,--that it faltered here and +failed him. While he was at a loss, Carton said, resuming his former air +of contemplating cards: + +"And indeed, now I think again, I have a strong impression that I +have another good card here, not yet enumerated. That friend and +fellow-Sheep, who spoke of himself as pasturing in the country prisons; +who was he?" + +"French. You don't know him," said the spy, quickly. + +"French, eh?" repeated Carton, musing, and not appearing to notice him +at all, though he echoed his word. "Well; he may be." + +"Is, I assure you," said the spy; "though it's not important." + +"Though it's not important," repeated Carton, in the same mechanical +way--"though it's not important--No, it's not important. No. Yet I know +the face." + +"I think not. I am sure not. It can't be," said the spy. + +"It-can't-be," muttered Sydney Carton, retrospectively, and idling his +glass (which fortunately was a small one) again. "Can't-be. Spoke good +French. Yet like a foreigner, I thought?" + +"Provincial," said the spy. + +"No. Foreign!" cried Carton, striking his open hand on the table, as a +light broke clearly on his mind. "Cly! Disguised, but the same man. We +had that man before us at the Old Bailey." + +"Now, there you are hasty, sir," said Barsad, with a smile that gave his +aquiline nose an extra inclination to one side; "there you really give +me an advantage over you. Cly (who I will unreservedly admit, at this +distance of time, was a partner of mine) has been dead several years. I +attended him in his last illness. He was buried in London, at the church +of Saint Pancras-in-the-Fields. His unpopularity with the blackguard +multitude at the moment prevented my following his remains, but I helped +to lay him in his coffin." + +Here, Mr. Lorry became aware, from where he sat, of a most remarkable +goblin shadow on the wall. Tracing it to its source, he discovered it +to be caused by a sudden extraordinary rising and stiffening of all the +risen and stiff hair on Mr. Cruncher's head. + +"Let us be reasonable," said the spy, "and let us be fair. To show you +how mistaken you are, and what an unfounded assumption yours is, I will +lay before you a certificate of Cly's burial, which I happened to have +carried in my pocket-book," with a hurried hand he produced and opened +it, "ever since. There it is. Oh, look at it, look at it! You may take +it in your hand; it's no forgery." + +Here, Mr. Lorry perceived the reflection on the wall to elongate, and +Mr. Cruncher rose and stepped forward. His hair could not have been more +violently on end, if it had been that moment dressed by the Cow with the +crumpled horn in the house that Jack built. + +Unseen by the spy, Mr. Cruncher stood at his side, and touched him on +the shoulder like a ghostly bailiff. + +"That there Roger Cly, master," said Mr. Cruncher, with a taciturn and +iron-bound visage. "So _you_ put him in his coffin?" + +"I did." + +"Who took him out of it?" + +Barsad leaned back in his chair, and stammered, "What do you mean?" + +"I mean," said Mr. Cruncher, "that he warn't never in it. No! Not he! +I'll have my head took off, if he was ever in it." + +The spy looked round at the two gentlemen; they both looked in +unspeakable astonishment at Jerry. + +"I tell you," said Jerry, "that you buried paving-stones and earth in +that there coffin. Don't go and tell me that you buried Cly. It was a +take in. Me and two more knows it." + +"How do you know it?" + +"What's that to you? Ecod!" growled Mr. Cruncher, "it's you I have got a +old grudge again, is it, with your shameful impositions upon tradesmen! +I'd catch hold of your throat and choke you for half a guinea." + +Sydney Carton, who, with Mr. Lorry, had been lost in amazement at +this turn of the business, here requested Mr. Cruncher to moderate and +explain himself. + +"At another time, sir," he returned, evasively, "the present time is +ill-conwenient for explainin'. What I stand to, is, that he knows well +wot that there Cly was never in that there coffin. Let him say he was, +in so much as a word of one syllable, and I'll either catch hold of his +throat and choke him for half a guinea;" Mr. Cruncher dwelt upon this as +quite a liberal offer; "or I'll out and announce him." + +"Humph! I see one thing," said Carton. "I hold another card, Mr. Barsad. +Impossible, here in raging Paris, with Suspicion filling the air, for +you to outlive denunciation, when you are in communication with another +aristocratic spy of the same antecedents as yourself, who, moreover, has +the mystery about him of having feigned death and come to life again! +A plot in the prisons, of the foreigner against the Republic. A strong +card--a certain Guillotine card! Do you play?" + +"No!" returned the spy. "I throw up. I confess that we were so unpopular +with the outrageous mob, that I only got away from England at the risk +of being ducked to death, and that Cly was so ferreted up and down, that +he never would have got away at all but for that sham. Though how this +man knows it was a sham, is a wonder of wonders to me." + +"Never you trouble your head about this man," retorted the contentious +Mr. Cruncher; "you'll have trouble enough with giving your attention to +that gentleman. And look here! Once more!"--Mr. Cruncher could not +be restrained from making rather an ostentatious parade of his +liberality--"I'd catch hold of your throat and choke you for half a +guinea." + +The Sheep of the prisons turned from him to Sydney Carton, and said, +with more decision, "It has come to a point. I go on duty soon, and +can't overstay my time. You told me you had a proposal; what is it? +Now, it is of no use asking too much of me. Ask me to do anything in my +office, putting my head in great extra danger, and I had better trust my +life to the chances of a refusal than the chances of consent. In short, +I should make that choice. You talk of desperation. We are all desperate +here. Remember! I may denounce you if I think proper, and I can swear my +way through stone walls, and so can others. Now, what do you want with +me?" + +"Not very much. You are a turnkey at the Conciergerie?" + +"I tell you once for all, there is no such thing as an escape possible," +said the spy, firmly. + +"Why need you tell me what I have not asked? You are a turnkey at the +Conciergerie?" + +"I am sometimes." + +"You can be when you choose?" + +"I can pass in and out when I choose." + +Sydney Carton filled another glass with brandy, poured it slowly out +upon the hearth, and watched it as it dropped. It being all spent, he +said, rising: + +"So far, we have spoken before these two, because it was as well that +the merits of the cards should not rest solely between you and me. Come +into the dark room here, and let us have one final word alone." + + + + +IX. The Game Made + + +While Sydney Carton and the Sheep of the prisons were in the adjoining +dark room, speaking so low that not a sound was heard, Mr. Lorry looked +at Jerry in considerable doubt and mistrust. That honest tradesman's +manner of receiving the look, did not inspire confidence; he changed the +leg on which he rested, as often as if he had fifty of those limbs, +and were trying them all; he examined his finger-nails with a very +questionable closeness of attention; and whenever Mr. Lorry's eye caught +his, he was taken with that peculiar kind of short cough requiring the +hollow of a hand before it, which is seldom, if ever, known to be an +infirmity attendant on perfect openness of character. + +"Jerry," said Mr. Lorry. "Come here." + +Mr. Cruncher came forward sideways, with one of his shoulders in advance +of him. + +"What have you been, besides a messenger?" + +After some cogitation, accompanied with an intent look at his patron, +Mr. Cruncher conceived the luminous idea of replying, "Agicultooral +character." + +"My mind misgives me much," said Mr. Lorry, angrily shaking a forefinger +at him, "that you have used the respectable and great house of Tellson's +as a blind, and that you have had an unlawful occupation of an infamous +description. If you have, don't expect me to befriend you when you +get back to England. If you have, don't expect me to keep your secret. +Tellson's shall not be imposed upon." + +"I hope, sir," pleaded the abashed Mr. Cruncher, "that a gentleman like +yourself wot I've had the honour of odd jobbing till I'm grey at it, +would think twice about harming of me, even if it wos so--I don't say it +is, but even if it wos. And which it is to be took into account that if +it wos, it wouldn't, even then, be all o' one side. There'd be two sides +to it. There might be medical doctors at the present hour, a picking +up their guineas where a honest tradesman don't pick up his +fardens--fardens! no, nor yet his half fardens--half fardens! no, nor +yet his quarter--a banking away like smoke at Tellson's, and a cocking +their medical eyes at that tradesman on the sly, a going in and going +out to their own carriages--ah! equally like smoke, if not more so. +Well, that 'ud be imposing, too, on Tellson's. For you cannot sarse the +goose and not the gander. And here's Mrs. Cruncher, or leastways wos +in the Old England times, and would be to-morrow, if cause given, +a floppin' again the business to that degree as is ruinating--stark +ruinating! Whereas them medical doctors' wives don't flop--catch 'em at +it! Or, if they flop, their floppings goes in favour of more patients, +and how can you rightly have one without t'other? Then, wot with +undertakers, and wot with parish clerks, and wot with sextons, and wot +with private watchmen (all awaricious and all in it), a man wouldn't get +much by it, even if it wos so. And wot little a man did get, would never +prosper with him, Mr. Lorry. He'd never have no good of it; he'd want +all along to be out of the line, if he, could see his way out, being +once in--even if it wos so." + +"Ugh!" cried Mr. Lorry, rather relenting, nevertheless, "I am shocked at +the sight of you." + +"Now, what I would humbly offer to you, sir," pursued Mr. Cruncher, +"even if it wos so, which I don't say it is--" + +"Don't prevaricate," said Mr. Lorry. + +"No, I will _not_, sir," returned Mr. Crunches as if nothing were +further from his thoughts or practice--"which I don't say it is--wot I +would humbly offer to you, sir, would be this. Upon that there stool, at +that there Bar, sets that there boy of mine, brought up and growed up to +be a man, wot will errand you, message you, general-light-job you, till +your heels is where your head is, if such should be your wishes. If it +wos so, which I still don't say it is (for I will not prewaricate to +you, sir), let that there boy keep his father's place, and take care of +his mother; don't blow upon that boy's father--do not do it, sir--and +let that father go into the line of the reg'lar diggin', and make amends +for what he would have undug--if it wos so--by diggin' of 'em in with +a will, and with conwictions respectin' the futur' keepin' of 'em safe. +That, Mr. Lorry," said Mr. Cruncher, wiping his forehead with his +arm, as an announcement that he had arrived at the peroration of his +discourse, "is wot I would respectfully offer to you, sir. A man don't +see all this here a goin' on dreadful round him, in the way of Subjects +without heads, dear me, plentiful enough fur to bring the price down +to porterage and hardly that, without havin' his serious thoughts of +things. And these here would be mine, if it wos so, entreatin' of you +fur to bear in mind that wot I said just now, I up and said in the good +cause when I might have kep' it back." + +"That at least is true," said Mr. Lorry. "Say no more now. It may be +that I shall yet stand your friend, if you deserve it, and repent in +action--not in words. I want no more words." + +Mr. Cruncher knuckled his forehead, as Sydney Carton and the spy +returned from the dark room. "Adieu, Mr. Barsad," said the former; "our +arrangement thus made, you have nothing to fear from me." + +He sat down in a chair on the hearth, over against Mr. Lorry. When they +were alone, Mr. Lorry asked him what he had done? + +"Not much. If it should go ill with the prisoner, I have ensured access +to him, once." + +Mr. Lorry's countenance fell. + +"It is all I could do," said Carton. "To propose too much, would be +to put this man's head under the axe, and, as he himself said, nothing +worse could happen to him if he were denounced. It was obviously the +weakness of the position. There is no help for it." + +"But access to him," said Mr. Lorry, "if it should go ill before the +Tribunal, will not save him." + +"I never said it would." + +Mr. Lorry's eyes gradually sought the fire; his sympathy with his +darling, and the heavy disappointment of his second arrest, gradually +weakened them; he was an old man now, overborne with anxiety of late, +and his tears fell. + +"You are a good man and a true friend," said Carton, in an altered +voice. "Forgive me if I notice that you are affected. I could not see my +father weep, and sit by, careless. And I could not respect your +sorrow more, if you were my father. You are free from that misfortune, +however." + +Though he said the last words, with a slip into his usual manner, there +was a true feeling and respect both in his tone and in his touch, +that Mr. Lorry, who had never seen the better side of him, was wholly +unprepared for. He gave him his hand, and Carton gently pressed it. + +"To return to poor Darnay," said Carton. "Don't tell Her of this +interview, or this arrangement. It would not enable Her to go to see +him. She might think it was contrived, in case of the worse, to convey +to him the means of anticipating the sentence." + +Mr. Lorry had not thought of that, and he looked quickly at Carton to +see if it were in his mind. It seemed to be; he returned the look, and +evidently understood it. + +"She might think a thousand things," Carton said, "and any of them would +only add to her trouble. Don't speak of me to her. As I said to you when +I first came, I had better not see her. I can put my hand out, to do any +little helpful work for her that my hand can find to do, without that. +You are going to her, I hope? She must be very desolate to-night." + +"I am going now, directly." + +"I am glad of that. She has such a strong attachment to you and reliance +on you. How does she look?" + +"Anxious and unhappy, but very beautiful." + +"Ah!" + +It was a long, grieving sound, like a sigh--almost like a sob. It +attracted Mr. Lorry's eyes to Carton's face, which was turned to the +fire. A light, or a shade (the old gentleman could not have said which), +passed from it as swiftly as a change will sweep over a hill-side on a +wild bright day, and he lifted his foot to put back one of the little +flaming logs, which was tumbling forward. He wore the white riding-coat +and top-boots, then in vogue, and the light of the fire touching their +light surfaces made him look very pale, with his long brown hair, +all untrimmed, hanging loose about him. His indifference to fire was +sufficiently remarkable to elicit a word of remonstrance from Mr. Lorry; +his boot was still upon the hot embers of the flaming log, when it had +broken under the weight of his foot. + +"I forgot it," he said. + +Mr. Lorry's eyes were again attracted to his face. Taking note of the +wasted air which clouded the naturally handsome features, and having +the expression of prisoners' faces fresh in his mind, he was strongly +reminded of that expression. + +"And your duties here have drawn to an end, sir?" said Carton, turning +to him. + +"Yes. As I was telling you last night when Lucie came in so +unexpectedly, I have at length done all that I can do here. I hoped to +have left them in perfect safety, and then to have quitted Paris. I have +my Leave to Pass. I was ready to go." + +They were both silent. + +"Yours is a long life to look back upon, sir?" said Carton, wistfully. + +"I am in my seventy-eighth year." + +"You have been useful all your life; steadily and constantly occupied; +trusted, respected, and looked up to?" + +"I have been a man of business, ever since I have been a man. Indeed, I +may say that I was a man of business when a boy." + +"See what a place you fill at seventy-eight. How many people will miss +you when you leave it empty!" + +"A solitary old bachelor," answered Mr. Lorry, shaking his head. "There +is nobody to weep for me." + +"How can you say that? Wouldn't She weep for you? Wouldn't her child?" + +"Yes, yes, thank God. I didn't quite mean what I said." + +"It _is_ a thing to thank God for; is it not?" + +"Surely, surely." + +"If you could say, with truth, to your own solitary heart, to-night, +'I have secured to myself the love and attachment, the gratitude or +respect, of no human creature; I have won myself a tender place in no +regard; I have done nothing good or serviceable to be remembered by!' +your seventy-eight years would be seventy-eight heavy curses; would they +not?" + +"You say truly, Mr. Carton; I think they would be." + +Sydney turned his eyes again upon the fire, and, after a silence of a +few moments, said: + +"I should like to ask you:--Does your childhood seem far off? Do the +days when you sat at your mother's knee, seem days of very long ago?" + +Responding to his softened manner, Mr. Lorry answered: + +"Twenty years back, yes; at this time of my life, no. For, as I draw +closer and closer to the end, I travel in the circle, nearer and +nearer to the beginning. It seems to be one of the kind smoothings and +preparings of the way. My heart is touched now, by many remembrances +that had long fallen asleep, of my pretty young mother (and I so old!), +and by many associations of the days when what we call the World was not +so real with me, and my faults were not confirmed in me." + +"I understand the feeling!" exclaimed Carton, with a bright flush. "And +you are the better for it?" + +"I hope so." + +Carton terminated the conversation here, by rising to help him on with +his outer coat; "But you," said Mr. Lorry, reverting to the theme, "you +are young." + +"Yes," said Carton. "I am not old, but my young way was never the way to +age. Enough of me." + +"And of me, I am sure," said Mr. Lorry. "Are you going out?" + +"I'll walk with you to her gate. You know my vagabond and restless +habits. If I should prowl about the streets a long time, don't be +uneasy; I shall reappear in the morning. You go to the Court to-morrow?" + +"Yes, unhappily." + +"I shall be there, but only as one of the crowd. My Spy will find a +place for me. Take my arm, sir." + +Mr. Lorry did so, and they went down-stairs and out in the streets. A +few minutes brought them to Mr. Lorry's destination. Carton left him +there; but lingered at a little distance, and turned back to the gate +again when it was shut, and touched it. He had heard of her going to +the prison every day. "She came out here," he said, looking about him, +"turned this way, must have trod on these stones often. Let me follow in +her steps." + +It was ten o'clock at night when he stood before the prison of La Force, +where she had stood hundreds of times. A little wood-sawyer, having +closed his shop, was smoking his pipe at his shop-door. + +"Good night, citizen," said Sydney Carton, pausing in going by; for, the +man eyed him inquisitively. + +"Good night, citizen." + +"How goes the Republic?" + +"You mean the Guillotine. Not ill. Sixty-three to-day. We shall mount +to a hundred soon. Samson and his men complain sometimes, of being +exhausted. Ha, ha, ha! He is so droll, that Samson. Such a Barber!" + +"Do you often go to see him--" + +"Shave? Always. Every day. What a barber! You have seen him at work?" + +"Never." + +"Go and see him when he has a good batch. Figure this to yourself, +citizen; he shaved the sixty-three to-day, in less than two pipes! Less +than two pipes. Word of honour!" + +As the grinning little man held out the pipe he was smoking, to explain +how he timed the executioner, Carton was so sensible of a rising desire +to strike the life out of him, that he turned away. + +"But you are not English," said the wood-sawyer, "though you wear +English dress?" + +"Yes," said Carton, pausing again, and answering over his shoulder. + +"You speak like a Frenchman." + +"I am an old student here." + +"Aha, a perfect Frenchman! Good night, Englishman." + +"Good night, citizen." + +"But go and see that droll dog," the little man persisted, calling after +him. "And take a pipe with you!" + +Sydney had not gone far out of sight, when he stopped in the middle of +the street under a glimmering lamp, and wrote with his pencil on a scrap +of paper. Then, traversing with the decided step of one who remembered +the way well, several dark and dirty streets--much dirtier than usual, +for the best public thoroughfares remained uncleansed in those times of +terror--he stopped at a chemist's shop, which the owner was closing with +his own hands. A small, dim, crooked shop, kept in a tortuous, up-hill +thoroughfare, by a small, dim, crooked man. + +Giving this citizen, too, good night, as he confronted him at his +counter, he laid the scrap of paper before him. "Whew!" the chemist +whistled softly, as he read it. "Hi! hi! hi!" + +Sydney Carton took no heed, and the chemist said: + +"For you, citizen?" + +"For me." + +"You will be careful to keep them separate, citizen? You know the +consequences of mixing them?" + +"Perfectly." + +Certain small packets were made and given to him. He put them, one by +one, in the breast of his inner coat, counted out the money for them, +and deliberately left the shop. "There is nothing more to do," said he, +glancing upward at the moon, "until to-morrow. I can't sleep." + +It was not a reckless manner, the manner in which he said these words +aloud under the fast-sailing clouds, nor was it more expressive of +negligence than defiance. It was the settled manner of a tired man, who +had wandered and struggled and got lost, but who at length struck into +his road and saw its end. + +Long ago, when he had been famous among his earliest competitors as a +youth of great promise, he had followed his father to the grave. His +mother had died, years before. These solemn words, which had been +read at his father's grave, arose in his mind as he went down the dark +streets, among the heavy shadows, with the moon and the clouds sailing +on high above him. "I am the resurrection and the life, saith the Lord: +he that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: and +whosoever liveth and believeth in me, shall never die." + +In a city dominated by the axe, alone at night, with natural sorrow +rising in him for the sixty-three who had been that day put to death, +and for to-morrow's victims then awaiting their doom in the prisons, +and still of to-morrow's and to-morrow's, the chain of association that +brought the words home, like a rusty old ship's anchor from the deep, +might have been easily found. He did not seek it, but repeated them and +went on. + +With a solemn interest in the lighted windows where the people were +going to rest, forgetful through a few calm hours of the horrors +surrounding them; in the towers of the churches, where no prayers +were said, for the popular revulsion had even travelled that length +of self-destruction from years of priestly impostors, plunderers, and +profligates; in the distant burial-places, reserved, as they wrote upon +the gates, for Eternal Sleep; in the abounding gaols; and in the streets +along which the sixties rolled to a death which had become so common and +material, that no sorrowful story of a haunting Spirit ever arose among +the people out of all the working of the Guillotine; with a solemn +interest in the whole life and death of the city settling down to its +short nightly pause in fury; Sydney Carton crossed the Seine again for +the lighter streets. + +Few coaches were abroad, for riders in coaches were liable to be +suspected, and gentility hid its head in red nightcaps, and put on heavy +shoes, and trudged. But, the theatres were all well filled, and the +people poured cheerfully out as he passed, and went chatting home. At +one of the theatre doors, there was a little girl with a mother, looking +for a way across the street through the mud. He carried the child over, +and before the timid arm was loosed from his neck asked her for a kiss. + +"I am the resurrection and the life, saith the Lord: he that believeth +in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: and whosoever liveth and +believeth in me, shall never die." + +Now, that the streets were quiet, and the night wore on, the words +were in the echoes of his feet, and were in the air. Perfectly calm +and steady, he sometimes repeated them to himself as he walked; but, he +heard them always. + +The night wore out, and, as he stood upon the bridge listening to the +water as it splashed the river-walls of the Island of Paris, where the +picturesque confusion of houses and cathedral shone bright in the light +of the moon, the day came coldly, looking like a dead face out of the +sky. Then, the night, with the moon and the stars, turned pale and died, +and for a little while it seemed as if Creation were delivered over to +Death's dominion. + +But, the glorious sun, rising, seemed to strike those words, that burden +of the night, straight and warm to his heart in its long bright rays. +And looking along them, with reverently shaded eyes, a bridge of light +appeared to span the air between him and the sun, while the river +sparkled under it. + +The strong tide, so swift, so deep, and certain, was like a congenial +friend, in the morning stillness. He walked by the stream, far from the +houses, and in the light and warmth of the sun fell asleep on the +bank. When he awoke and was afoot again, he lingered there yet a little +longer, watching an eddy that turned and turned purposeless, until the +stream absorbed it, and carried it on to the sea.--"Like me." + +A trading-boat, with a sail of the softened colour of a dead leaf, then +glided into his view, floated by him, and died away. As its silent track +in the water disappeared, the prayer that had broken up out of his heart +for a merciful consideration of all his poor blindnesses and errors, +ended in the words, "I am the resurrection and the life." + +Mr. Lorry was already out when he got back, and it was easy to surmise +where the good old man was gone. Sydney Carton drank nothing but a +little coffee, ate some bread, and, having washed and changed to refresh +himself, went out to the place of trial. + +The court was all astir and a-buzz, when the black sheep--whom many fell +away from in dread--pressed him into an obscure corner among the crowd. +Mr. Lorry was there, and Doctor Manette was there. She was there, +sitting beside her father. + +When her husband was brought in, she turned a look upon him, so +sustaining, so encouraging, so full of admiring love and pitying +tenderness, yet so courageous for his sake, that it called the healthy +blood into his face, brightened his glance, and animated his heart. If +there had been any eyes to notice the influence of her look, on Sydney +Carton, it would have been seen to be the same influence exactly. + +Before that unjust Tribunal, there was little or no order of procedure, +ensuring to any accused person any reasonable hearing. There could have +been no such Revolution, if all laws, forms, and ceremonies, had not +first been so monstrously abused, that the suicidal vengeance of the +Revolution was to scatter them all to the winds. + +Every eye was turned to the jury. The same determined patriots and good +republicans as yesterday and the day before, and to-morrow and the day +after. Eager and prominent among them, one man with a craving face, and +his fingers perpetually hovering about his lips, whose appearance +gave great satisfaction to the spectators. A life-thirsting, +cannibal-looking, bloody-minded juryman, the Jacques Three of St. +Antoine. The whole jury, as a jury of dogs empannelled to try the deer. + +Every eye then turned to the five judges and the public prosecutor. +No favourable leaning in that quarter to-day. A fell, uncompromising, +murderous business-meaning there. Every eye then sought some other eye +in the crowd, and gleamed at it approvingly; and heads nodded at one +another, before bending forward with a strained attention. + +Charles Evremonde, called Darnay. Released yesterday. Reaccused and +retaken yesterday. Indictment delivered to him last night. Suspected and +Denounced enemy of the Republic, Aristocrat, one of a family of tyrants, +one of a race proscribed, for that they had used their abolished +privileges to the infamous oppression of the people. Charles Evremonde, +called Darnay, in right of such proscription, absolutely Dead in Law. + +To this effect, in as few or fewer words, the Public Prosecutor. + +The President asked, was the Accused openly denounced or secretly? + +"Openly, President." + +"By whom?" + +"Three voices. Ernest Defarge, wine-vendor of St. Antoine." + +"Good." + +"Therese Defarge, his wife." + +"Good." + +"Alexandre Manette, physician." + +A great uproar took place in the court, and in the midst of it, Doctor +Manette was seen, pale and trembling, standing where he had been seated. + +"President, I indignantly protest to you that this is a forgery and +a fraud. You know the accused to be the husband of my daughter. My +daughter, and those dear to her, are far dearer to me than my life. Who +and where is the false conspirator who says that I denounce the husband +of my child!" + +"Citizen Manette, be tranquil. To fail in submission to the authority of +the Tribunal would be to put yourself out of Law. As to what is dearer +to you than life, nothing can be so dear to a good citizen as the +Republic." + +Loud acclamations hailed this rebuke. The President rang his bell, and +with warmth resumed. + +"If the Republic should demand of you the sacrifice of your child +herself, you would have no duty but to sacrifice her. Listen to what is +to follow. In the meanwhile, be silent!" + +Frantic acclamations were again raised. Doctor Manette sat down, with +his eyes looking around, and his lips trembling; his daughter drew +closer to him. The craving man on the jury rubbed his hands together, +and restored the usual hand to his mouth. + +Defarge was produced, when the court was quiet enough to admit of his +being heard, and rapidly expounded the story of the imprisonment, and of +his having been a mere boy in the Doctor's service, and of the release, +and of the state of the prisoner when released and delivered to him. +This short examination followed, for the court was quick with its work. + +"You did good service at the taking of the Bastille, citizen?" + +"I believe so." + +Here, an excited woman screeched from the crowd: "You were one of the +best patriots there. Why not say so? You were a cannonier that day +there, and you were among the first to enter the accursed fortress when +it fell. Patriots, I speak the truth!" + +It was The Vengeance who, amidst the warm commendations of the audience, +thus assisted the proceedings. The President rang his bell; but, The +Vengeance, warming with encouragement, shrieked, "I defy that bell!" +wherein she was likewise much commended. + +"Inform the Tribunal of what you did that day within the Bastille, +citizen." + +"I knew," said Defarge, looking down at his wife, who stood at the +bottom of the steps on which he was raised, looking steadily up at him; +"I knew that this prisoner, of whom I speak, had been confined in a cell +known as One Hundred and Five, North Tower. I knew it from himself. He +knew himself by no other name than One Hundred and Five, North Tower, +when he made shoes under my care. As I serve my gun that day, I resolve, +when the place shall fall, to examine that cell. It falls. I mount to +the cell, with a fellow-citizen who is one of the Jury, directed by a +gaoler. I examine it, very closely. In a hole in the chimney, where a +stone has been worked out and replaced, I find a written paper. This is +that written paper. I have made it my business to examine some specimens +of the writing of Doctor Manette. This is the writing of Doctor Manette. +I confide this paper, in the writing of Doctor Manette, to the hands of +the President." + +"Let it be read." + +In a dead silence and stillness--the prisoner under trial looking +lovingly at his wife, his wife only looking from him to look with +solicitude at her father, Doctor Manette keeping his eyes fixed on the +reader, Madame Defarge never taking hers from the prisoner, Defarge +never taking his from his feasting wife, and all the other eyes there +intent upon the Doctor, who saw none of them--the paper was read, as +follows. + + + + +X. The Substance of the Shadow + + +"I, Alexandre Manette, unfortunate physician, native of Beauvais, and +afterwards resident in Paris, write this melancholy paper in my doleful +cell in the Bastille, during the last month of the year, 1767. I write +it at stolen intervals, under every difficulty. I design to secrete it +in the wall of the chimney, where I have slowly and laboriously made a +place of concealment for it. Some pitying hand may find it there, when I +and my sorrows are dust. + +"These words are formed by the rusty iron point with which I write with +difficulty in scrapings of soot and charcoal from the chimney, mixed +with blood, in the last month of the tenth year of my captivity. Hope +has quite departed from my breast. I know from terrible warnings I have +noted in myself that my reason will not long remain unimpaired, but I +solemnly declare that I am at this time in the possession of my right +mind--that my memory is exact and circumstantial--and that I write the +truth as I shall answer for these my last recorded words, whether they +be ever read by men or not, at the Eternal Judgment-seat. + +"One cloudy moonlight night, in the third week of December (I think the +twenty-second of the month) in the year 1757, I was walking on a retired +part of the quay by the Seine for the refreshment of the frosty air, +at an hour's distance from my place of residence in the Street of the +School of Medicine, when a carriage came along behind me, driven very +fast. As I stood aside to let that carriage pass, apprehensive that it +might otherwise run me down, a head was put out at the window, and a +voice called to the driver to stop. + +"The carriage stopped as soon as the driver could rein in his horses, +and the same voice called to me by my name. I answered. The carriage +was then so far in advance of me that two gentlemen had time to open the +door and alight before I came up with it. + +"I observed that they were both wrapped in cloaks, and appeared to +conceal themselves. As they stood side by side near the carriage door, +I also observed that they both looked of about my own age, or rather +younger, and that they were greatly alike, in stature, manner, voice, +and (as far as I could see) face too. + +"'You are Doctor Manette?' said one. + +"I am." + +"'Doctor Manette, formerly of Beauvais,' said the other; 'the young +physician, originally an expert surgeon, who within the last year or two +has made a rising reputation in Paris?' + +"'Gentlemen,' I returned, 'I am that Doctor Manette of whom you speak so +graciously.' + +"'We have been to your residence,' said the first, 'and not being +so fortunate as to find you there, and being informed that you were +probably walking in this direction, we followed, in the hope of +overtaking you. Will you please to enter the carriage?' + +"The manner of both was imperious, and they both moved, as these words +were spoken, so as to place me between themselves and the carriage door. +They were armed. I was not. + +"'Gentlemen,' said I, 'pardon me; but I usually inquire who does me +the honour to seek my assistance, and what is the nature of the case to +which I am summoned.' + +"The reply to this was made by him who had spoken second. 'Doctor, +your clients are people of condition. As to the nature of the case, +our confidence in your skill assures us that you will ascertain it for +yourself better than we can describe it. Enough. Will you please to +enter the carriage?' + +"I could do nothing but comply, and I entered it in silence. They both +entered after me--the last springing in, after putting up the steps. The +carriage turned about, and drove on at its former speed. + +"I repeat this conversation exactly as it occurred. I have no doubt that +it is, word for word, the same. I describe everything exactly as it took +place, constraining my mind not to wander from the task. Where I make +the broken marks that follow here, I leave off for the time, and put my +paper in its hiding-place. + + ***** + +"The carriage left the streets behind, passed the North Barrier, and +emerged upon the country road. At two-thirds of a league from the +Barrier--I did not estimate the distance at that time, but afterwards +when I traversed it--it struck out of the main avenue, and presently +stopped at a solitary house, We all three alighted, and walked, by +a damp soft footpath in a garden where a neglected fountain had +overflowed, to the door of the house. It was not opened immediately, in +answer to the ringing of the bell, and one of my two conductors struck +the man who opened it, with his heavy riding glove, across the face. + +"There was nothing in this action to attract my particular attention, +for I had seen common people struck more commonly than dogs. But, the +other of the two, being angry likewise, struck the man in like manner +with his arm; the look and bearing of the brothers were then so exactly +alike, that I then first perceived them to be twin brothers. + +"From the time of our alighting at the outer gate (which we found +locked, and which one of the brothers had opened to admit us, and had +relocked), I had heard cries proceeding from an upper chamber. I was +conducted to this chamber straight, the cries growing louder as we +ascended the stairs, and I found a patient in a high fever of the brain, +lying on a bed. + +"The patient was a woman of great beauty, and young; assuredly not much +past twenty. Her hair was torn and ragged, and her arms were bound to +her sides with sashes and handkerchiefs. I noticed that these bonds were +all portions of a gentleman's dress. On one of them, which was a fringed +scarf for a dress of ceremony, I saw the armorial bearings of a Noble, +and the letter E. + +"I saw this, within the first minute of my contemplation of the patient; +for, in her restless strivings she had turned over on her face on the +edge of the bed, had drawn the end of the scarf into her mouth, and was +in danger of suffocation. My first act was to put out my hand to relieve +her breathing; and in moving the scarf aside, the embroidery in the +corner caught my sight. + +"I turned her gently over, placed my hands upon her breast to calm her +and keep her down, and looked into her face. Her eyes were dilated and +wild, and she constantly uttered piercing shrieks, and repeated the +words, 'My husband, my father, and my brother!' and then counted up to +twelve, and said, 'Hush!' For an instant, and no more, she would pause +to listen, and then the piercing shrieks would begin again, and she +would repeat the cry, 'My husband, my father, and my brother!' and +would count up to twelve, and say, 'Hush!' There was no variation in the +order, or the manner. There was no cessation, but the regular moment's +pause, in the utterance of these sounds. + +"'How long,' I asked, 'has this lasted?' + +"To distinguish the brothers, I will call them the elder and the +younger; by the elder, I mean him who exercised the most authority. It +was the elder who replied, 'Since about this hour last night.' + +"'She has a husband, a father, and a brother?' + +"'A brother.' + +"'I do not address her brother?' + +"He answered with great contempt, 'No.' + +"'She has some recent association with the number twelve?' + +"The younger brother impatiently rejoined, 'With twelve o'clock?' + +"'See, gentlemen,' said I, still keeping my hands upon her breast, 'how +useless I am, as you have brought me! If I had known what I was coming +to see, I could have come provided. As it is, time must be lost. There +are no medicines to be obtained in this lonely place.' + +"The elder brother looked to the younger, who said haughtily, 'There is +a case of medicines here;' and brought it from a closet, and put it on +the table. + + ***** + +"I opened some of the bottles, smelt them, and put the stoppers to my +lips. If I had wanted to use anything save narcotic medicines that were +poisons in themselves, I would not have administered any of those. + +"'Do you doubt them?' asked the younger brother. + +"'You see, monsieur, I am going to use them,' I replied, and said no +more. + +"I made the patient swallow, with great difficulty, and after many +efforts, the dose that I desired to give. As I intended to repeat it +after a while, and as it was necessary to watch its influence, I then +sat down by the side of the bed. There was a timid and suppressed woman +in attendance (wife of the man down-stairs), who had retreated into +a corner. The house was damp and decayed, indifferently +furnished--evidently, recently occupied and temporarily used. Some thick +old hangings had been nailed up before the windows, to deaden the +sound of the shrieks. They continued to be uttered in their regular +succession, with the cry, 'My husband, my father, and my brother!' the +counting up to twelve, and 'Hush!' The frenzy was so violent, that I had +not unfastened the bandages restraining the arms; but, I had looked to +them, to see that they were not painful. The only spark of encouragement +in the case, was, that my hand upon the sufferer's breast had this much +soothing influence, that for minutes at a time it tranquillised the +figure. It had no effect upon the cries; no pendulum could be more +regular. + +"For the reason that my hand had this effect (I assume), I had sat by +the side of the bed for half an hour, with the two brothers looking on, +before the elder said: + +"'There is another patient.' + +"I was startled, and asked, 'Is it a pressing case?' + +"'You had better see,' he carelessly answered; and took up a light. + + ***** + +"The other patient lay in a back room across a second staircase, which +was a species of loft over a stable. There was a low plastered ceiling +to a part of it; the rest was open, to the ridge of the tiled roof, and +there were beams across. Hay and straw were stored in that portion of +the place, fagots for firing, and a heap of apples in sand. I had to +pass through that part, to get at the other. My memory is circumstantial +and unshaken. I try it with these details, and I see them all, in +this my cell in the Bastille, near the close of the tenth year of my +captivity, as I saw them all that night. + +"On some hay on the ground, with a cushion thrown under his head, lay a +handsome peasant boy--a boy of not more than seventeen at the most. +He lay on his back, with his teeth set, his right hand clenched on his +breast, and his glaring eyes looking straight upward. I could not see +where his wound was, as I kneeled on one knee over him; but, I could see +that he was dying of a wound from a sharp point. + +"'I am a doctor, my poor fellow,' said I. 'Let me examine it.' + +"'I do not want it examined,' he answered; 'let it be.' + +"It was under his hand, and I soothed him to let me move his hand away. +The wound was a sword-thrust, received from twenty to twenty-four hours +before, but no skill could have saved him if it had been looked to +without delay. He was then dying fast. As I turned my eyes to the elder +brother, I saw him looking down at this handsome boy whose life was +ebbing out, as if he were a wounded bird, or hare, or rabbit; not at all +as if he were a fellow-creature. + +"'How has this been done, monsieur?' said I. + +"'A crazed young common dog! A serf! Forced my brother to draw upon him, +and has fallen by my brother's sword--like a gentleman.' + +"There was no touch of pity, sorrow, or kindred humanity, in this +answer. The speaker seemed to acknowledge that it was inconvenient to +have that different order of creature dying there, and that it would +have been better if he had died in the usual obscure routine of his +vermin kind. He was quite incapable of any compassionate feeling about +the boy, or about his fate. + +"The boy's eyes had slowly moved to him as he had spoken, and they now +slowly moved to me. + +"'Doctor, they are very proud, these Nobles; but we common dogs are +proud too, sometimes. They plunder us, outrage us, beat us, kill us; but +we have a little pride left, sometimes. She--have you seen her, Doctor?' + +"The shrieks and the cries were audible there, though subdued by the +distance. He referred to them, as if she were lying in our presence. + +"I said, 'I have seen her.' + +"'She is my sister, Doctor. They have had their shameful rights, these +Nobles, in the modesty and virtue of our sisters, many years, but we +have had good girls among us. I know it, and have heard my father say +so. She was a good girl. She was betrothed to a good young man, too: a +tenant of his. We were all tenants of his--that man's who stands there. +The other is his brother, the worst of a bad race.' + +"It was with the greatest difficulty that the boy gathered bodily force +to speak; but, his spirit spoke with a dreadful emphasis. + +"'We were so robbed by that man who stands there, as all we common dogs +are by those superior Beings--taxed by him without mercy, obliged to +work for him without pay, obliged to grind our corn at his mill, obliged +to feed scores of his tame birds on our wretched crops, and forbidden +for our lives to keep a single tame bird of our own, pillaged and +plundered to that degree that when we chanced to have a bit of meat, we +ate it in fear, with the door barred and the shutters closed, that his +people should not see it and take it from us--I say, we were so robbed, +and hunted, and were made so poor, that our father told us it was a +dreadful thing to bring a child into the world, and that what we should +most pray for, was, that our women might be barren and our miserable +race die out!' + +"I had never before seen the sense of being oppressed, bursting forth +like a fire. I had supposed that it must be latent in the people +somewhere; but, I had never seen it break out, until I saw it in the +dying boy. + +"'Nevertheless, Doctor, my sister married. He was ailing at that time, +poor fellow, and she married her lover, that she might tend and comfort +him in our cottage--our dog-hut, as that man would call it. She had not +been married many weeks, when that man's brother saw her and admired +her, and asked that man to lend her to him--for what are husbands among +us! He was willing enough, but my sister was good and virtuous, and +hated his brother with a hatred as strong as mine. What did the two +then, to persuade her husband to use his influence with her, to make her +willing?' + +"The boy's eyes, which had been fixed on mine, slowly turned to the +looker-on, and I saw in the two faces that all he said was true. The two +opposing kinds of pride confronting one another, I can see, even in this +Bastille; the gentleman's, all negligent indifference; the peasant's, all +trodden-down sentiment, and passionate revenge. + +"'You know, Doctor, that it is among the Rights of these Nobles to +harness us common dogs to carts, and drive us. They so harnessed him and +drove him. You know that it is among their Rights to keep us in their +grounds all night, quieting the frogs, in order that their noble sleep +may not be disturbed. They kept him out in the unwholesome mists at +night, and ordered him back into his harness in the day. But he was +not persuaded. No! Taken out of harness one day at noon, to feed--if he +could find food--he sobbed twelve times, once for every stroke of the +bell, and died on her bosom.' + +"Nothing human could have held life in the boy but his determination to +tell all his wrong. He forced back the gathering shadows of death, as +he forced his clenched right hand to remain clenched, and to cover his +wound. + +"'Then, with that man's permission and even with his aid, his +brother took her away; in spite of what I know she must have told his +brother--and what that is, will not be long unknown to you, Doctor, if +it is now--his brother took her away--for his pleasure and diversion, +for a little while. I saw her pass me on the road. When I took the +tidings home, our father's heart burst; he never spoke one of the words +that filled it. I took my young sister (for I have another) to a place +beyond the reach of this man, and where, at least, she will never be +_his_ vassal. Then, I tracked the brother here, and last night climbed +in--a common dog, but sword in hand.--Where is the loft window? It was +somewhere here?' + +"The room was darkening to his sight; the world was narrowing around +him. I glanced about me, and saw that the hay and straw were trampled +over the floor, as if there had been a struggle. + +"'She heard me, and ran in. I told her not to come near us till he was +dead. He came in and first tossed me some pieces of money; then struck +at me with a whip. But I, though a common dog, so struck at him as to +make him draw. Let him break into as many pieces as he will, the sword +that he stained with my common blood; he drew to defend himself--thrust +at me with all his skill for his life.' + +"My glance had fallen, but a few moments before, on the fragments of +a broken sword, lying among the hay. That weapon was a gentleman's. In +another place, lay an old sword that seemed to have been a soldier's. + +"'Now, lift me up, Doctor; lift me up. Where is he?' + +"'He is not here,' I said, supporting the boy, and thinking that he +referred to the brother. + +"'He! Proud as these nobles are, he is afraid to see me. Where is the +man who was here? Turn my face to him.' + +"I did so, raising the boy's head against my knee. But, invested for the +moment with extraordinary power, he raised himself completely: obliging +me to rise too, or I could not have still supported him. + +"'Marquis,' said the boy, turned to him with his eyes opened wide, and +his right hand raised, 'in the days when all these things are to be +answered for, I summon you and yours, to the last of your bad race, to +answer for them. I mark this cross of blood upon you, as a sign that +I do it. In the days when all these things are to be answered for, +I summon your brother, the worst of the bad race, to answer for them +separately. I mark this cross of blood upon him, as a sign that I do +it.' + +"Twice, he put his hand to the wound in his breast, and with his +forefinger drew a cross in the air. He stood for an instant with the +finger yet raised, and as it dropped, he dropped with it, and I laid him +down dead. + + ***** + +"When I returned to the bedside of the young woman, I found her raving +in precisely the same order of continuity. I knew that this might last +for many hours, and that it would probably end in the silence of the +grave. + +"I repeated the medicines I had given her, and I sat at the side of +the bed until the night was far advanced. She never abated the piercing +quality of her shrieks, never stumbled in the distinctness or the order +of her words. They were always 'My husband, my father, and my brother! +One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, +twelve. Hush!' + +"This lasted twenty-six hours from the time when I first saw her. I had +come and gone twice, and was again sitting by her, when she began to +falter. I did what little could be done to assist that opportunity, and +by-and-bye she sank into a lethargy, and lay like the dead. + +"It was as if the wind and rain had lulled at last, after a long and +fearful storm. I released her arms, and called the woman to assist me to +compose her figure and the dress she had torn. It was then that I knew +her condition to be that of one in whom the first expectations of being +a mother have arisen; and it was then that I lost the little hope I had +had of her. + +"'Is she dead?' asked the Marquis, whom I will still describe as the +elder brother, coming booted into the room from his horse. + +"'Not dead,' said I; 'but like to die.' + +"'What strength there is in these common bodies!' he said, looking down +at her with some curiosity. + +"'There is prodigious strength,' I answered him, 'in sorrow and +despair.' + +"He first laughed at my words, and then frowned at them. He moved a +chair with his foot near to mine, ordered the woman away, and said in a +subdued voice, + +"'Doctor, finding my brother in this difficulty with these hinds, I +recommended that your aid should be invited. Your reputation is high, +and, as a young man with your fortune to make, you are probably mindful +of your interest. The things that you see here, are things to be seen, +and not spoken of.' + +"I listened to the patient's breathing, and avoided answering. + +"'Do you honour me with your attention, Doctor?' + +"'Monsieur,' said I, 'in my profession, the communications of patients +are always received in confidence.' I was guarded in my answer, for I +was troubled in my mind with what I had heard and seen. + +"Her breathing was so difficult to trace, that I carefully tried the +pulse and the heart. There was life, and no more. Looking round as I +resumed my seat, I found both the brothers intent upon me. + + ***** + +"I write with so much difficulty, the cold is so severe, I am so +fearful of being detected and consigned to an underground cell and total +darkness, that I must abridge this narrative. There is no confusion or +failure in my memory; it can recall, and could detail, every word that +was ever spoken between me and those brothers. + +"She lingered for a week. Towards the last, I could understand some few +syllables that she said to me, by placing my ear close to her lips. She +asked me where she was, and I told her; who I was, and I told her. It +was in vain that I asked her for her family name. She faintly shook her +head upon the pillow, and kept her secret, as the boy had done. + +"I had no opportunity of asking her any question, until I had told the +brothers she was sinking fast, and could not live another day. Until +then, though no one was ever presented to her consciousness save the +woman and myself, one or other of them had always jealously sat behind +the curtain at the head of the bed when I was there. But when it came to +that, they seemed careless what communication I might hold with her; as +if--the thought passed through my mind--I were dying too. + +"I always observed that their pride bitterly resented the younger +brother's (as I call him) having crossed swords with a peasant, and that +peasant a boy. The only consideration that appeared to affect the mind +of either of them was the consideration that this was highly degrading +to the family, and was ridiculous. As often as I caught the younger +brother's eyes, their expression reminded me that he disliked me deeply, +for knowing what I knew from the boy. He was smoother and more polite to +me than the elder; but I saw this. I also saw that I was an incumbrance +in the mind of the elder, too. + +"My patient died, two hours before midnight--at a time, by my watch, +answering almost to the minute when I had first seen her. I was alone +with her, when her forlorn young head drooped gently on one side, and +all her earthly wrongs and sorrows ended. + +"The brothers were waiting in a room down-stairs, impatient to ride +away. I had heard them, alone at the bedside, striking their boots with +their riding-whips, and loitering up and down. + +"'At last she is dead?' said the elder, when I went in. + +"'She is dead,' said I. + +"'I congratulate you, my brother,' were his words as he turned round. + +"He had before offered me money, which I had postponed taking. He now +gave me a rouleau of gold. I took it from his hand, but laid it on +the table. I had considered the question, and had resolved to accept +nothing. + +"'Pray excuse me,' said I. 'Under the circumstances, no.' + +"They exchanged looks, but bent their heads to me as I bent mine to +them, and we parted without another word on either side. + + ***** + +"I am weary, weary, weary--worn down by misery. I cannot read what I +have written with this gaunt hand. + +"Early in the morning, the rouleau of gold was left at my door in a +little box, with my name on the outside. From the first, I had anxiously +considered what I ought to do. I decided, that day, to write privately +to the Minister, stating the nature of the two cases to which I had been +summoned, and the place to which I had gone: in effect, stating all the +circumstances. I knew what Court influence was, and what the immunities +of the Nobles were, and I expected that the matter would never be +heard of; but, I wished to relieve my own mind. I had kept the matter a +profound secret, even from my wife; and this, too, I resolved to state +in my letter. I had no apprehension whatever of my real danger; but +I was conscious that there might be danger for others, if others were +compromised by possessing the knowledge that I possessed. + +"I was much engaged that day, and could not complete my letter that +night. I rose long before my usual time next morning to finish it. +It was the last day of the year. The letter was lying before me just +completed, when I was told that a lady waited, who wished to see me. + + ***** + +"I am growing more and more unequal to the task I have set myself. It is +so cold, so dark, my senses are so benumbed, and the gloom upon me is so +dreadful. + +"The lady was young, engaging, and handsome, but not marked for long +life. She was in great agitation. She presented herself to me as the +wife of the Marquis St. Evremonde. I connected the title by which the +boy had addressed the elder brother, with the initial letter embroidered +on the scarf, and had no difficulty in arriving at the conclusion that I +had seen that nobleman very lately. + +"My memory is still accurate, but I cannot write the words of our +conversation. I suspect that I am watched more closely than I was, and I +know not at what times I may be watched. She had in part suspected, and +in part discovered, the main facts of the cruel story, of her husband's +share in it, and my being resorted to. She did not know that the girl +was dead. Her hope had been, she said in great distress, to show her, +in secret, a woman's sympathy. Her hope had been to avert the wrath of +Heaven from a House that had long been hateful to the suffering many. + +"She had reasons for believing that there was a young sister living, and +her greatest desire was, to help that sister. I could tell her nothing +but that there was such a sister; beyond that, I knew nothing. Her +inducement to come to me, relying on my confidence, had been the hope +that I could tell her the name and place of abode. Whereas, to this +wretched hour I am ignorant of both. + + ***** + +"These scraps of paper fail me. One was taken from me, with a warning, +yesterday. I must finish my record to-day. + +"She was a good, compassionate lady, and not happy in her marriage. How +could she be! The brother distrusted and disliked her, and his influence +was all opposed to her; she stood in dread of him, and in dread of her +husband too. When I handed her down to the door, there was a child, a +pretty boy from two to three years old, in her carriage. + +"'For his sake, Doctor,' she said, pointing to him in tears, 'I would do +all I can to make what poor amends I can. He will never prosper in his +inheritance otherwise. I have a presentiment that if no other innocent +atonement is made for this, it will one day be required of him. What +I have left to call my own--it is little beyond the worth of a few +jewels--I will make it the first charge of his life to bestow, with the +compassion and lamenting of his dead mother, on this injured family, if +the sister can be discovered.' + +"She kissed the boy, and said, caressing him, 'It is for thine own dear +sake. Thou wilt be faithful, little Charles?' The child answered her +bravely, 'Yes!' I kissed her hand, and she took him in her arms, and +went away caressing him. I never saw her more. + +"As she had mentioned her husband's name in the faith that I knew it, +I added no mention of it to my letter. I sealed my letter, and, not +trusting it out of my own hands, delivered it myself that day. + +"That night, the last night of the year, towards nine o'clock, a man in +a black dress rang at my gate, demanded to see me, and softly followed +my servant, Ernest Defarge, a youth, up-stairs. When my servant came +into the room where I sat with my wife--O my wife, beloved of my heart! +My fair young English wife!--we saw the man, who was supposed to be at +the gate, standing silent behind him. + +"An urgent case in the Rue St. Honore, he said. It would not detain me, +he had a coach in waiting. + +"It brought me here, it brought me to my grave. When I was clear of the +house, a black muffler was drawn tightly over my mouth from behind, and +my arms were pinioned. The two brothers crossed the road from a dark +corner, and identified me with a single gesture. The Marquis took from +his pocket the letter I had written, showed it me, burnt it in the light +of a lantern that was held, and extinguished the ashes with his foot. +Not a word was spoken. I was brought here, I was brought to my living +grave. + +"If it had pleased _God_ to put it in the hard heart of either of the +brothers, in all these frightful years, to grant me any tidings of +my dearest wife--so much as to let me know by a word whether alive or +dead--I might have thought that He had not quite abandoned them. But, +now I believe that the mark of the red cross is fatal to them, and that +they have no part in His mercies. And them and their descendants, to the +last of their race, I, Alexandre Manette, unhappy prisoner, do this last +night of the year 1767, in my unbearable agony, denounce to the times +when all these things shall be answered for. I denounce them to Heaven +and to earth." + +A terrible sound arose when the reading of this document was done. A +sound of craving and eagerness that had nothing articulate in it but +blood. The narrative called up the most revengeful passions of the time, +and there was not a head in the nation but must have dropped before it. + +Little need, in presence of that tribunal and that auditory, to show +how the Defarges had not made the paper public, with the other captured +Bastille memorials borne in procession, and had kept it, biding their +time. Little need to show that this detested family name had long been +anathematised by Saint Antoine, and was wrought into the fatal register. +The man never trod ground whose virtues and services would have +sustained him in that place that day, against such denunciation. + +And all the worse for the doomed man, that the denouncer was a +well-known citizen, his own attached friend, the father of his wife. One +of the frenzied aspirations of the populace was, for imitations of +the questionable public virtues of antiquity, and for sacrifices and +self-immolations on the people's altar. Therefore when the President +said (else had his own head quivered on his shoulders), that the good +physician of the Republic would deserve better still of the Republic by +rooting out an obnoxious family of Aristocrats, and would doubtless feel +a sacred glow and joy in making his daughter a widow and her child an +orphan, there was wild excitement, patriotic fervour, not a touch of +human sympathy. + +"Much influence around him, has that Doctor?" murmured Madame Defarge, +smiling to The Vengeance. "Save him now, my Doctor, save him!" + +At every juryman's vote, there was a roar. Another and another. Roar and +roar. + +Unanimously voted. At heart and by descent an Aristocrat, an enemy +of the Republic, a notorious oppressor of the People. Back to the +Conciergerie, and Death within four-and-twenty hours! + + + + +XI. Dusk + + +The wretched wife of the innocent man thus doomed to die, fell under +the sentence, as if she had been mortally stricken. But, she uttered no +sound; and so strong was the voice within her, representing that it was +she of all the world who must uphold him in his misery and not augment +it, that it quickly raised her, even from that shock. + +The Judges having to take part in a public demonstration out of doors, +the Tribunal adjourned. The quick noise and movement of the court's +emptying itself by many passages had not ceased, when Lucie stood +stretching out her arms towards her husband, with nothing in her face +but love and consolation. + +"If I might touch him! If I might embrace him once! O, good citizens, if +you would have so much compassion for us!" + +There was but a gaoler left, along with two of the four men who had +taken him last night, and Barsad. The people had all poured out to the +show in the streets. Barsad proposed to the rest, "Let her embrace +him then; it is but a moment." It was silently acquiesced in, and they +passed her over the seats in the hall to a raised place, where he, by +leaning over the dock, could fold her in his arms. + +"Farewell, dear darling of my soul. My parting blessing on my love. We +shall meet again, where the weary are at rest!" + +They were her husband's words, as he held her to his bosom. + +"I can bear it, dear Charles. I am supported from above: don't suffer +for me. A parting blessing for our child." + +"I send it to her by you. I kiss her by you. I say farewell to her by +you." + +"My husband. No! A moment!" He was tearing himself apart from her. +"We shall not be separated long. I feel that this will break my heart +by-and-bye; but I will do my duty while I can, and when I leave her, God +will raise up friends for her, as He did for me." + +Her father had followed her, and would have fallen on his knees to both +of them, but that Darnay put out a hand and seized him, crying: + +"No, no! What have you done, what have you done, that you should kneel +to us! We know now, what a struggle you made of old. We know, now what +you underwent when you suspected my descent, and when you knew it. We +know now, the natural antipathy you strove against, and conquered, for +her dear sake. We thank you with all our hearts, and all our love and +duty. Heaven be with you!" + +Her father's only answer was to draw his hands through his white hair, +and wring them with a shriek of anguish. + +"It could not be otherwise," said the prisoner. "All things have worked +together as they have fallen out. It was the always-vain endeavour to +discharge my poor mother's trust that first brought my fatal presence +near you. Good could never come of such evil, a happier end was not in +nature to so unhappy a beginning. Be comforted, and forgive me. Heaven +bless you!" + +As he was drawn away, his wife released him, and stood looking after him +with her hands touching one another in the attitude of prayer, and +with a radiant look upon her face, in which there was even a comforting +smile. As he went out at the prisoners' door, she turned, laid her head +lovingly on her father's breast, tried to speak to him, and fell at his +feet. + +Then, issuing from the obscure corner from which he had never moved, +Sydney Carton came and took her up. Only her father and Mr. Lorry were +with her. His arm trembled as it raised her, and supported her head. +Yet, there was an air about him that was not all of pity--that had a +flush of pride in it. + +"Shall I take her to a coach? I shall never feel her weight." + +He carried her lightly to the door, and laid her tenderly down in a +coach. Her father and their old friend got into it, and he took his seat +beside the driver. + +When they arrived at the gateway where he had paused in the dark not +many hours before, to picture to himself on which of the rough stones of +the street her feet had trodden, he lifted her again, and carried her up +the staircase to their rooms. There, he laid her down on a couch, where +her child and Miss Pross wept over her. + +"Don't recall her to herself," he said, softly, to the latter, "she is +better so. Don't revive her to consciousness, while she only faints." + +"Oh, Carton, Carton, dear Carton!" cried little Lucie, springing up and +throwing her arms passionately round him, in a burst of grief. "Now that +you have come, I think you will do something to help mamma, something to +save papa! O, look at her, dear Carton! Can you, of all the people who +love her, bear to see her so?" + +He bent over the child, and laid her blooming cheek against his face. He +put her gently from him, and looked at her unconscious mother. + +"Before I go," he said, and paused--"I may kiss her?" + +It was remembered afterwards that when he bent down and touched her face +with his lips, he murmured some words. The child, who was nearest to +him, told them afterwards, and told her grandchildren when she was a +handsome old lady, that she heard him say, "A life you love." + +When he had gone out into the next room, he turned suddenly on Mr. Lorry +and her father, who were following, and said to the latter: + +"You had great influence but yesterday, Doctor Manette; let it at least +be tried. These judges, and all the men in power, are very friendly to +you, and very recognisant of your services; are they not?" + +"Nothing connected with Charles was concealed from me. I had the +strongest assurances that I should save him; and I did." He returned the +answer in great trouble, and very slowly. + +"Try them again. The hours between this and to-morrow afternoon are few +and short, but try." + +"I intend to try. I will not rest a moment." + +"That's well. I have known such energy as yours do great things before +now--though never," he added, with a smile and a sigh together, "such +great things as this. But try! Of little worth as life is when we misuse +it, it is worth that effort. It would cost nothing to lay down if it +were not." + +"I will go," said Doctor Manette, "to the Prosecutor and the President +straight, and I will go to others whom it is better not to name. I will +write too, and--But stay! There is a Celebration in the streets, and no +one will be accessible until dark." + +"That's true. Well! It is a forlorn hope at the best, and not much the +forlorner for being delayed till dark. I should like to know how you +speed; though, mind! I expect nothing! When are you likely to have seen +these dread powers, Doctor Manette?" + +"Immediately after dark, I should hope. Within an hour or two from +this." + +"It will be dark soon after four. Let us stretch the hour or two. If I +go to Mr. Lorry's at nine, shall I hear what you have done, either from +our friend or from yourself?" + +"Yes." + +"May you prosper!" + +Mr. Lorry followed Sydney to the outer door, and, touching him on the +shoulder as he was going away, caused him to turn. + +"I have no hope," said Mr. Lorry, in a low and sorrowful whisper. + +"Nor have I." + +"If any one of these men, or all of these men, were disposed to spare +him--which is a large supposition; for what is his life, or any man's +to them!--I doubt if they durst spare him after the demonstration in the +court." + +"And so do I. I heard the fall of the axe in that sound." + +Mr. Lorry leaned his arm upon the door-post, and bowed his face upon it. + +"Don't despond," said Carton, very gently; "don't grieve. I encouraged +Doctor Manette in this idea, because I felt that it might one day be +consolatory to her. Otherwise, she might think 'his life was wantonly +thrown away or wasted,' and that might trouble her." + +"Yes, yes, yes," returned Mr. Lorry, drying his eyes, "you are right. +But he will perish; there is no real hope." + +"Yes. He will perish: there is no real hope," echoed Carton. + +And walked with a settled step, down-stairs. + + + + +XII. Darkness + + +Sydney Carton paused in the street, not quite decided where to go. "At +Tellson's banking-house at nine," he said, with a musing face. "Shall I +do well, in the mean time, to show myself? I think so. It is best that +these people should know there is such a man as I here; it is a sound +precaution, and may be a necessary preparation. But care, care, care! +Let me think it out!" + +Checking his steps which had begun to tend towards an object, he took a +turn or two in the already darkening street, and traced the thought +in his mind to its possible consequences. His first impression was +confirmed. "It is best," he said, finally resolved, "that these people +should know there is such a man as I here." And he turned his face +towards Saint Antoine. + +Defarge had described himself, that day, as the keeper of a wine-shop in +the Saint Antoine suburb. It was not difficult for one who knew the city +well, to find his house without asking any question. Having ascertained +its situation, Carton came out of those closer streets again, and dined +at a place of refreshment and fell sound asleep after dinner. For the +first time in many years, he had no strong drink. Since last night he +had taken nothing but a little light thin wine, and last night he had +dropped the brandy slowly down on Mr. Lorry's hearth like a man who had +done with it. + +It was as late as seven o'clock when he awoke refreshed, and went out +into the streets again. As he passed along towards Saint Antoine, he +stopped at a shop-window where there was a mirror, and slightly altered +the disordered arrangement of his loose cravat, and his coat-collar, and +his wild hair. This done, he went on direct to Defarge's, and went in. + +There happened to be no customer in the shop but Jacques Three, of the +restless fingers and the croaking voice. This man, whom he had seen upon +the Jury, stood drinking at the little counter, in conversation with the +Defarges, man and wife. The Vengeance assisted in the conversation, like +a regular member of the establishment. + +As Carton walked in, took his seat and asked (in very indifferent +French) for a small measure of wine, Madame Defarge cast a careless +glance at him, and then a keener, and then a keener, and then advanced +to him herself, and asked him what it was he had ordered. + +He repeated what he had already said. + +"English?" asked Madame Defarge, inquisitively raising her dark +eyebrows. + +After looking at her, as if the sound of even a single French word were +slow to express itself to him, he answered, in his former strong foreign +accent. "Yes, madame, yes. I am English!" + +Madame Defarge returned to her counter to get the wine, and, as he +took up a Jacobin journal and feigned to pore over it puzzling out its +meaning, he heard her say, "I swear to you, like Evremonde!" + +Defarge brought him the wine, and gave him Good Evening. + +"How?" + +"Good evening." + +"Oh! Good evening, citizen," filling his glass. "Ah! and good wine. I +drink to the Republic." + +Defarge went back to the counter, and said, "Certainly, a little like." +Madame sternly retorted, "I tell you a good deal like." Jacques Three +pacifically remarked, "He is so much in your mind, see you, madame." +The amiable Vengeance added, with a laugh, "Yes, my faith! And you +are looking forward with so much pleasure to seeing him once more +to-morrow!" + +Carton followed the lines and words of his paper, with a slow +forefinger, and with a studious and absorbed face. They were all leaning +their arms on the counter close together, speaking low. After a silence +of a few moments, during which they all looked towards him without +disturbing his outward attention from the Jacobin editor, they resumed +their conversation. + +"It is true what madame says," observed Jacques Three. "Why stop? There +is great force in that. Why stop?" + +"Well, well," reasoned Defarge, "but one must stop somewhere. After all, +the question is still where?" + +"At extermination," said madame. + +"Magnificent!" croaked Jacques Three. The Vengeance, also, highly +approved. + +"Extermination is good doctrine, my wife," said Defarge, rather +troubled; "in general, I say nothing against it. But this Doctor has +suffered much; you have seen him to-day; you have observed his face when +the paper was read." + +"I have observed his face!" repeated madame, contemptuously and angrily. +"Yes. I have observed his face. I have observed his face to be not the +face of a true friend of the Republic. Let him take care of his face!" + +"And you have observed, my wife," said Defarge, in a deprecatory manner, +"the anguish of his daughter, which must be a dreadful anguish to him!" + +"I have observed his daughter," repeated madame; "yes, I have observed +his daughter, more times than one. I have observed her to-day, and I +have observed her other days. I have observed her in the court, and +I have observed her in the street by the prison. Let me but lift my +finger--!" She seemed to raise it (the listener's eyes were always on +his paper), and to let it fall with a rattle on the ledge before her, as +if the axe had dropped. + +"The citizeness is superb!" croaked the Juryman. + +"She is an Angel!" said The Vengeance, and embraced her. + +"As to thee," pursued madame, implacably, addressing her husband, "if it +depended on thee--which, happily, it does not--thou wouldst rescue this +man even now." + +"No!" protested Defarge. "Not if to lift this glass would do it! But I +would leave the matter there. I say, stop there." + +"See you then, Jacques," said Madame Defarge, wrathfully; "and see you, +too, my little Vengeance; see you both! Listen! For other crimes as +tyrants and oppressors, I have this race a long time on my register, +doomed to destruction and extermination. Ask my husband, is that so." + +"It is so," assented Defarge, without being asked. + +"In the beginning of the great days, when the Bastille falls, he finds +this paper of to-day, and he brings it home, and in the middle of the +night when this place is clear and shut, we read it, here on this spot, +by the light of this lamp. Ask him, is that so." + +"It is so," assented Defarge. + +"That night, I tell him, when the paper is read through, and the lamp is +burnt out, and the day is gleaming in above those shutters and between +those iron bars, that I have now a secret to communicate. Ask him, is +that so." + +"It is so," assented Defarge again. + +"I communicate to him that secret. I smite this bosom with these two +hands as I smite it now, and I tell him, 'Defarge, I was brought up +among the fishermen of the sea-shore, and that peasant family so injured +by the two Evremonde brothers, as that Bastille paper describes, is my +family. Defarge, that sister of the mortally wounded boy upon the ground +was my sister, that husband was my sister's husband, that unborn child +was their child, that brother was my brother, that father was my father, +those dead are my dead, and that summons to answer for those things +descends to me!' Ask him, is that so." + +"It is so," assented Defarge once more. + +"Then tell Wind and Fire where to stop," returned madame; "but don't +tell me." + +Both her hearers derived a horrible enjoyment from the deadly nature +of her wrath--the listener could feel how white she was, without seeing +her--and both highly commended it. Defarge, a weak minority, interposed +a few words for the memory of the compassionate wife of the Marquis; but +only elicited from his own wife a repetition of her last reply. "Tell +the Wind and the Fire where to stop; not me!" + +Customers entered, and the group was broken up. The English customer +paid for what he had had, perplexedly counted his change, and asked, as +a stranger, to be directed towards the National Palace. Madame Defarge +took him to the door, and put her arm on his, in pointing out the road. +The English customer was not without his reflections then, that it might +be a good deed to seize that arm, lift it, and strike under it sharp and +deep. + +But, he went his way, and was soon swallowed up in the shadow of the +prison wall. At the appointed hour, he emerged from it to present +himself in Mr. Lorry's room again, where he found the old gentleman +walking to and fro in restless anxiety. He said he had been with Lucie +until just now, and had only left her for a few minutes, to come and +keep his appointment. Her father had not been seen, since he quitted the +banking-house towards four o'clock. She had some faint hopes that his +mediation might save Charles, but they were very slight. He had been +more than five hours gone: where could he be? + +Mr. Lorry waited until ten; but, Doctor Manette not returning, and +he being unwilling to leave Lucie any longer, it was arranged that he +should go back to her, and come to the banking-house again at midnight. +In the meanwhile, Carton would wait alone by the fire for the Doctor. + +He waited and waited, and the clock struck twelve; but Doctor Manette +did not come back. Mr. Lorry returned, and found no tidings of him, and +brought none. Where could he be? + +They were discussing this question, and were almost building up some +weak structure of hope on his prolonged absence, when they heard him on +the stairs. The instant he entered the room, it was plain that all was +lost. + +Whether he had really been to any one, or whether he had been all that +time traversing the streets, was never known. As he stood staring at +them, they asked him no question, for his face told them everything. + +"I cannot find it," said he, "and I must have it. Where is it?" + +His head and throat were bare, and, as he spoke with a helpless look +straying all around, he took his coat off, and let it drop on the floor. + +"Where is my bench? I have been looking everywhere for my bench, and I +can't find it. What have they done with my work? Time presses: I must +finish those shoes." + +They looked at one another, and their hearts died within them. + +"Come, come!" said he, in a whimpering miserable way; "let me get to +work. Give me my work." + +Receiving no answer, he tore his hair, and beat his feet upon the +ground, like a distracted child. + +"Don't torture a poor forlorn wretch," he implored them, with a dreadful +cry; "but give me my work! What is to become of us, if those shoes are +not done to-night?" + +Lost, utterly lost! + +It was so clearly beyond hope to reason with him, or try to restore him, +that--as if by agreement--they each put a hand upon his shoulder, and +soothed him to sit down before the fire, with a promise that he should +have his work presently. He sank into the chair, and brooded over the +embers, and shed tears. As if all that had happened since the garret +time were a momentary fancy, or a dream, Mr. Lorry saw him shrink into +the exact figure that Defarge had had in keeping. + +Affected, and impressed with terror as they both were, by this spectacle +of ruin, it was not a time to yield to such emotions. His lonely +daughter, bereft of her final hope and reliance, appealed to them both +too strongly. Again, as if by agreement, they looked at one another with +one meaning in their faces. Carton was the first to speak: + +"The last chance is gone: it was not much. Yes; he had better be taken +to her. But, before you go, will you, for a moment, steadily attend to +me? Don't ask me why I make the stipulations I am going to make, and +exact the promise I am going to exact; I have a reason--a good one." + +"I do not doubt it," answered Mr. Lorry. "Say on." + +The figure in the chair between them, was all the time monotonously +rocking itself to and fro, and moaning. They spoke in such a tone as +they would have used if they had been watching by a sick-bed in the +night. + +Carton stooped to pick up the coat, which lay almost entangling his +feet. As he did so, a small case in which the Doctor was accustomed to +carry the lists of his day's duties, fell lightly on the floor. Carton +took it up, and there was a folded paper in it. "We should look +at this!" he said. Mr. Lorry nodded his consent. He opened it, and +exclaimed, "Thank _God!_" + +"What is it?" asked Mr. Lorry, eagerly. + +"A moment! Let me speak of it in its place. First," he put his hand in +his coat, and took another paper from it, "that is the certificate which +enables me to pass out of this city. Look at it. You see--Sydney Carton, +an Englishman?" + +Mr. Lorry held it open in his hand, gazing in his earnest face. + +"Keep it for me until to-morrow. I shall see him to-morrow, you +remember, and I had better not take it into the prison." + +"Why not?" + +"I don't know; I prefer not to do so. Now, take this paper that Doctor +Manette has carried about him. It is a similar certificate, enabling him +and his daughter and her child, at any time, to pass the barrier and the +frontier! You see?" + +"Yes!" + +"Perhaps he obtained it as his last and utmost precaution against evil, +yesterday. When is it dated? But no matter; don't stay to look; put it +up carefully with mine and your own. Now, observe! I never doubted until +within this hour or two, that he had, or could have such a paper. It is +good, until recalled. But it may be soon recalled, and, I have reason to +think, will be." + +"They are not in danger?" + +"They are in great danger. They are in danger of denunciation by Madame +Defarge. I know it from her own lips. I have overheard words of that +woman's, to-night, which have presented their danger to me in strong +colours. I have lost no time, and since then, I have seen the spy. He +confirms me. He knows that a wood-sawyer, living by the prison wall, +is under the control of the Defarges, and has been rehearsed by +Madame Defarge as to his having seen Her"--he never mentioned Lucie's +name--"making signs and signals to prisoners. It is easy to foresee that +the pretence will be the common one, a prison plot, and that it will +involve her life--and perhaps her child's--and perhaps her father's--for +both have been seen with her at that place. Don't look so horrified. You +will save them all." + +"Heaven grant I may, Carton! But how?" + +"I am going to tell you how. It will depend on you, and it could depend +on no better man. This new denunciation will certainly not take place +until after to-morrow; probably not until two or three days afterwards; +more probably a week afterwards. You know it is a capital crime, to +mourn for, or sympathise with, a victim of the Guillotine. She and her +father would unquestionably be guilty of this crime, and this woman (the +inveteracy of whose pursuit cannot be described) would wait to add that +strength to her case, and make herself doubly sure. You follow me?" + +"So attentively, and with so much confidence in what you say, that for +the moment I lose sight," touching the back of the Doctor's chair, "even +of this distress." + +"You have money, and can buy the means of travelling to the seacoast +as quickly as the journey can be made. Your preparations have been +completed for some days, to return to England. Early to-morrow have your +horses ready, so that they may be in starting trim at two o'clock in the +afternoon." + +"It shall be done!" + +His manner was so fervent and inspiring, that Mr. Lorry caught the +flame, and was as quick as youth. + +"You are a noble heart. Did I say we could depend upon no better man? +Tell her, to-night, what you know of her danger as involving her child +and her father. Dwell upon that, for she would lay her own fair head +beside her husband's cheerfully." He faltered for an instant; then went +on as before. "For the sake of her child and her father, press upon her +the necessity of leaving Paris, with them and you, at that hour. Tell +her that it was her husband's last arrangement. Tell her that more +depends upon it than she dare believe, or hope. You think that her +father, even in this sad state, will submit himself to her; do you not?" + +"I am sure of it." + +"I thought so. Quietly and steadily have all these arrangements made in +the courtyard here, even to the taking of your own seat in the carriage. +The moment I come to you, take me in, and drive away." + +"I understand that I wait for you under all circumstances?" + +"You have my certificate in your hand with the rest, you know, and will +reserve my place. Wait for nothing but to have my place occupied, and +then for England!" + +"Why, then," said Mr. Lorry, grasping his eager but so firm and steady +hand, "it does not all depend on one old man, but I shall have a young +and ardent man at my side." + +"By the help of Heaven you shall! Promise me solemnly that nothing will +influence you to alter the course on which we now stand pledged to one +another." + +"Nothing, Carton." + +"Remember these words to-morrow: change the course, or delay in it--for +any reason--and no life can possibly be saved, and many lives must +inevitably be sacrificed." + +"I will remember them. I hope to do my part faithfully." + +"And I hope to do mine. Now, good bye!" + +Though he said it with a grave smile of earnestness, and though he even +put the old man's hand to his lips, he did not part from him then. He +helped him so far to arouse the rocking figure before the dying embers, +as to get a cloak and hat put upon it, and to tempt it forth to find +where the bench and work were hidden that it still moaningly besought +to have. He walked on the other side of it and protected it to the +courtyard of the house where the afflicted heart--so happy in +the memorable time when he had revealed his own desolate heart to +it--outwatched the awful night. He entered the courtyard and remained +there for a few moments alone, looking up at the light in the window of +her room. Before he went away, he breathed a blessing towards it, and a +Farewell. + + + + +XIII. Fifty-two + + +In the black prison of the Conciergerie, the doomed of the day awaited +their fate. They were in number as the weeks of the year. Fifty-two were +to roll that afternoon on the life-tide of the city to the boundless +everlasting sea. Before their cells were quit of them, new occupants +were appointed; before their blood ran into the blood spilled yesterday, +the blood that was to mingle with theirs to-morrow was already set +apart. + +Two score and twelve were told off. From the farmer-general of seventy, +whose riches could not buy his life, to the seamstress of twenty, whose +poverty and obscurity could not save her. Physical diseases, engendered +in the vices and neglects of men, will seize on victims of all degrees; +and the frightful moral disorder, born of unspeakable suffering, +intolerable oppression, and heartless indifference, smote equally +without distinction. + +Charles Darnay, alone in a cell, had sustained himself with no +flattering delusion since he came to it from the Tribunal. In every line +of the narrative he had heard, he had heard his condemnation. He had +fully comprehended that no personal influence could possibly save him, +that he was virtually sentenced by the millions, and that units could +avail him nothing. + +Nevertheless, it was not easy, with the face of his beloved wife fresh +before him, to compose his mind to what it must bear. His hold on life +was strong, and it was very, very hard, to loosen; by gradual efforts +and degrees unclosed a little here, it clenched the tighter there; and +when he brought his strength to bear on that hand and it yielded, +this was closed again. There was a hurry, too, in all his thoughts, +a turbulent and heated working of his heart, that contended against +resignation. If, for a moment, he did feel resigned, then his wife and +child who had to live after him, seemed to protest and to make it a +selfish thing. + +But, all this was at first. Before long, the consideration that there +was no disgrace in the fate he must meet, and that numbers went the same +road wrongfully, and trod it firmly every day, sprang up to stimulate +him. Next followed the thought that much of the future peace of mind +enjoyable by the dear ones, depended on his quiet fortitude. So, +by degrees he calmed into the better state, when he could raise his +thoughts much higher, and draw comfort down. + +Before it had set in dark on the night of his condemnation, he had +travelled thus far on his last way. Being allowed to purchase the means +of writing, and a light, he sat down to write until such time as the +prison lamps should be extinguished. + +He wrote a long letter to Lucie, showing her that he had known nothing +of her father's imprisonment, until he had heard of it from herself, +and that he had been as ignorant as she of his father's and uncle's +responsibility for that misery, until the paper had been read. He had +already explained to her that his concealment from herself of the name +he had relinquished, was the one condition--fully intelligible now--that +her father had attached to their betrothal, and was the one promise he +had still exacted on the morning of their marriage. He entreated her, +for her father's sake, never to seek to know whether her father had +become oblivious of the existence of the paper, or had had it recalled +to him (for the moment, or for good), by the story of the Tower, on +that old Sunday under the dear old plane-tree in the garden. If he had +preserved any definite remembrance of it, there could be no doubt that +he had supposed it destroyed with the Bastille, when he had found no +mention of it among the relics of prisoners which the populace had +discovered there, and which had been described to all the world. He +besought her--though he added that he knew it was needless--to console +her father, by impressing him through every tender means she could think +of, with the truth that he had done nothing for which he could justly +reproach himself, but had uniformly forgotten himself for their joint +sakes. Next to her preservation of his own last grateful love and +blessing, and her overcoming of her sorrow, to devote herself to their +dear child, he adjured her, as they would meet in Heaven, to comfort her +father. + +To her father himself, he wrote in the same strain; but, he told her +father that he expressly confided his wife and child to his care. And +he told him this, very strongly, with the hope of rousing him from any +despondency or dangerous retrospect towards which he foresaw he might be +tending. + +To Mr. Lorry, he commended them all, and explained his worldly affairs. +That done, with many added sentences of grateful friendship and warm +attachment, all was done. He never thought of Carton. His mind was so +full of the others, that he never once thought of him. + +He had time to finish these letters before the lights were put out. When +he lay down on his straw bed, he thought he had done with this world. + +But, it beckoned him back in his sleep, and showed itself in shining +forms. Free and happy, back in the old house in Soho (though it had +nothing in it like the real house), unaccountably released and light of +heart, he was with Lucie again, and she told him it was all a dream, and +he had never gone away. A pause of forgetfulness, and then he had even +suffered, and had come back to her, dead and at peace, and yet there +was no difference in him. Another pause of oblivion, and he awoke in the +sombre morning, unconscious where he was or what had happened, until it +flashed upon his mind, "this is the day of my death!" + +Thus, had he come through the hours, to the day when the fifty-two heads +were to fall. And now, while he was composed, and hoped that he could +meet the end with quiet heroism, a new action began in his waking +thoughts, which was very difficult to master. + +He had never seen the instrument that was to terminate his life. How +high it was from the ground, how many steps it had, where he would be +stood, how he would be touched, whether the touching hands would be dyed +red, which way his face would be turned, whether he would be the first, +or might be the last: these and many similar questions, in nowise +directed by his will, obtruded themselves over and over again, countless +times. Neither were they connected with fear: he was conscious of no +fear. Rather, they originated in a strange besetting desire to know what +to do when the time came; a desire gigantically disproportionate to the +few swift moments to which it referred; a wondering that was more like +the wondering of some other spirit within his, than his own. + +The hours went on as he walked to and fro, and the clocks struck the +numbers he would never hear again. Nine gone for ever, ten gone for +ever, eleven gone for ever, twelve coming on to pass away. After a hard +contest with that eccentric action of thought which had last perplexed +him, he had got the better of it. He walked up and down, softly +repeating their names to himself. The worst of the strife was over. +He could walk up and down, free from distracting fancies, praying for +himself and for them. + +Twelve gone for ever. + +He had been apprised that the final hour was Three, and he knew he would +be summoned some time earlier, inasmuch as the tumbrils jolted heavily +and slowly through the streets. Therefore, he resolved to keep Two +before his mind, as the hour, and so to strengthen himself in the +interval that he might be able, after that time, to strengthen others. + +Walking regularly to and fro with his arms folded on his breast, a very +different man from the prisoner, who had walked to and fro at La Force, +he heard One struck away from him, without surprise. The hour had +measured like most other hours. Devoutly thankful to Heaven for his +recovered self-possession, he thought, "There is but another now," and +turned to walk again. + +Footsteps in the stone passage outside the door. He stopped. + +The key was put in the lock, and turned. Before the door was opened, or +as it opened, a man said in a low voice, in English: "He has never seen +me here; I have kept out of his way. Go you in alone; I wait near. Lose +no time!" + +The door was quickly opened and closed, and there stood before him +face to face, quiet, intent upon him, with the light of a smile on his +features, and a cautionary finger on his lip, Sydney Carton. + +There was something so bright and remarkable in his look, that, for the +first moment, the prisoner misdoubted him to be an apparition of his own +imagining. But, he spoke, and it was his voice; he took the prisoner's +hand, and it was his real grasp. + +"Of all the people upon earth, you least expected to see me?" he said. + +"I could not believe it to be you. I can scarcely believe it now. You +are not"--the apprehension came suddenly into his mind--"a prisoner?" + +"No. I am accidentally possessed of a power over one of the keepers +here, and in virtue of it I stand before you. I come from her--your +wife, dear Darnay." + +The prisoner wrung his hand. + +"I bring you a request from her." + +"What is it?" + +"A most earnest, pressing, and emphatic entreaty, addressed to you +in the most pathetic tones of the voice so dear to you, that you well +remember." + +The prisoner turned his face partly aside. + +"You have no time to ask me why I bring it, or what it means; I have +no time to tell you. You must comply with it--take off those boots you +wear, and draw on these of mine." + +There was a chair against the wall of the cell, behind the prisoner. +Carton, pressing forward, had already, with the speed of lightning, got +him down into it, and stood over him, barefoot. + +"Draw on these boots of mine. Put your hands to them; put your will to +them. Quick!" + +"Carton, there is no escaping from this place; it never can be done. You +will only die with me. It is madness." + +"It would be madness if I asked you to escape; but do I? When I ask you +to pass out at that door, tell me it is madness and remain here. Change +that cravat for this of mine, that coat for this of mine. While you do +it, let me take this ribbon from your hair, and shake out your hair like +this of mine!" + +With wonderful quickness, and with a strength both of will and action, +that appeared quite supernatural, he forced all these changes upon him. +The prisoner was like a young child in his hands. + +"Carton! Dear Carton! It is madness. It cannot be accomplished, it never +can be done, it has been attempted, and has always failed. I implore you +not to add your death to the bitterness of mine." + +"Do I ask you, my dear Darnay, to pass the door? When I ask that, +refuse. There are pen and ink and paper on this table. Is your hand +steady enough to write?" + +"It was when you came in." + +"Steady it again, and write what I shall dictate. Quick, friend, quick!" + +Pressing his hand to his bewildered head, Darnay sat down at the table. +Carton, with his right hand in his breast, stood close beside him. + +"Write exactly as I speak." + +"To whom do I address it?" + +"To no one." Carton still had his hand in his breast. + +"Do I date it?" + +"No." + +The prisoner looked up, at each question. Carton, standing over him with +his hand in his breast, looked down. + +"'If you remember,'" said Carton, dictating, "'the words that passed +between us, long ago, you will readily comprehend this when you see it. +You do remember them, I know. It is not in your nature to forget them.'" + +He was drawing his hand from his breast; the prisoner chancing to look +up in his hurried wonder as he wrote, the hand stopped, closing upon +something. + +"Have you written 'forget them'?" Carton asked. + +"I have. Is that a weapon in your hand?" + +"No; I am not armed." + +"What is it in your hand?" + +"You shall know directly. Write on; there are but a few words more." He +dictated again. "'I am thankful that the time has come, when I can prove +them. That I do so is no subject for regret or grief.'" As he said these +words with his eyes fixed on the writer, his hand slowly and softly +moved down close to the writer's face. + +The pen dropped from Darnay's fingers on the table, and he looked about +him vacantly. + +"What vapour is that?" he asked. + +"Vapour?" + +"Something that crossed me?" + +"I am conscious of nothing; there can be nothing here. Take up the pen +and finish. Hurry, hurry!" + +As if his memory were impaired, or his faculties disordered, the +prisoner made an effort to rally his attention. As he looked at Carton +with clouded eyes and with an altered manner of breathing, Carton--his +hand again in his breast--looked steadily at him. + +"Hurry, hurry!" + +The prisoner bent over the paper, once more. + +"'If it had been otherwise;'" Carton's hand was again watchfully and +softly stealing down; "'I never should have used the longer opportunity. +If it had been otherwise;'" the hand was at the prisoner's face; "'I +should but have had so much the more to answer for. If it had been +otherwise--'" Carton looked at the pen and saw it was trailing off into +unintelligible signs. + +Carton's hand moved back to his breast no more. The prisoner sprang up +with a reproachful look, but Carton's hand was close and firm at his +nostrils, and Carton's left arm caught him round the waist. For a few +seconds he faintly struggled with the man who had come to lay down his +life for him; but, within a minute or so, he was stretched insensible on +the ground. + +Quickly, but with hands as true to the purpose as his heart was, Carton +dressed himself in the clothes the prisoner had laid aside, combed back +his hair, and tied it with the ribbon the prisoner had worn. Then, he +softly called, "Enter there! Come in!" and the Spy presented himself. + +"You see?" said Carton, looking up, as he kneeled on one knee beside the +insensible figure, putting the paper in the breast: "is your hazard very +great?" + +"Mr. Carton," the Spy answered, with a timid snap of his fingers, "my +hazard is not _that_, in the thick of business here, if you are true to +the whole of your bargain." + +"Don't fear me. I will be true to the death." + +"You must be, Mr. Carton, if the tale of fifty-two is to be right. Being +made right by you in that dress, I shall have no fear." + +"Have no fear! I shall soon be out of the way of harming you, and the +rest will soon be far from here, please God! Now, get assistance and +take me to the coach." + +"You?" said the Spy nervously. + +"Him, man, with whom I have exchanged. You go out at the gate by which +you brought me in?" + +"Of course." + +"I was weak and faint when you brought me in, and I am fainter now you +take me out. The parting interview has overpowered me. Such a thing has +happened here, often, and too often. Your life is in your own hands. +Quick! Call assistance!" + +"You swear not to betray me?" said the trembling Spy, as he paused for a +last moment. + +"Man, man!" returned Carton, stamping his foot; "have I sworn by no +solemn vow already, to go through with this, that you waste the precious +moments now? Take him yourself to the courtyard you know of, place +him yourself in the carriage, show him yourself to Mr. Lorry, tell him +yourself to give him no restorative but air, and to remember my words of +last night, and his promise of last night, and drive away!" + +The Spy withdrew, and Carton seated himself at the table, resting his +forehead on his hands. The Spy returned immediately, with two men. + +"How, then?" said one of them, contemplating the fallen figure. "So +afflicted to find that his friend has drawn a prize in the lottery of +Sainte Guillotine?" + +"A good patriot," said the other, "could hardly have been more afflicted +if the Aristocrat had drawn a blank." + +They raised the unconscious figure, placed it on a litter they had +brought to the door, and bent to carry it away. + +"The time is short, Evremonde," said the Spy, in a warning voice. + +"I know it well," answered Carton. "Be careful of my friend, I entreat +you, and leave me." + +"Come, then, my children," said Barsad. "Lift him, and come away!" + +The door closed, and Carton was left alone. Straining his powers of +listening to the utmost, he listened for any sound that might denote +suspicion or alarm. There was none. Keys turned, doors clashed, +footsteps passed along distant passages: no cry was raised, or hurry +made, that seemed unusual. Breathing more freely in a little while, he +sat down at the table, and listened again until the clock struck Two. + +Sounds that he was not afraid of, for he divined their meaning, then +began to be audible. Several doors were opened in succession, and +finally his own. A gaoler, with a list in his hand, looked in, merely +saying, "Follow me, Evremonde!" and he followed into a large dark room, +at a distance. It was a dark winter day, and what with the shadows +within, and what with the shadows without, he could but dimly discern +the others who were brought there to have their arms bound. Some were +standing; some seated. Some were lamenting, and in restless motion; +but, these were few. The great majority were silent and still, looking +fixedly at the ground. + +As he stood by the wall in a dim corner, while some of the fifty-two +were brought in after him, one man stopped in passing, to embrace him, +as having a knowledge of him. It thrilled him with a great dread of +discovery; but the man went on. A very few moments after that, a young +woman, with a slight girlish form, a sweet spare face in which there was +no vestige of colour, and large widely opened patient eyes, rose from +the seat where he had observed her sitting, and came to speak to him. + +"Citizen Evremonde," she said, touching him with her cold hand. "I am a +poor little seamstress, who was with you in La Force." + +He murmured for answer: "True. I forget what you were accused of?" + +"Plots. Though the just Heaven knows that I am innocent of any. Is it +likely? Who would think of plotting with a poor little weak creature +like me?" + +The forlorn smile with which she said it, so touched him, that tears +started from his eyes. + +"I am not afraid to die, Citizen Evremonde, but I have done nothing. I +am not unwilling to die, if the Republic which is to do so much good +to us poor, will profit by my death; but I do not know how that can be, +Citizen Evremonde. Such a poor weak little creature!" + +As the last thing on earth that his heart was to warm and soften to, it +warmed and softened to this pitiable girl. + +"I heard you were released, Citizen Evremonde. I hoped it was true?" + +"It was. But, I was again taken and condemned." + +"If I may ride with you, Citizen Evremonde, will you let me hold your +hand? I am not afraid, but I am little and weak, and it will give me +more courage." + +As the patient eyes were lifted to his face, he saw a sudden doubt in +them, and then astonishment. He pressed the work-worn, hunger-worn young +fingers, and touched his lips. + +"Are you dying for him?" she whispered. + +"And his wife and child. Hush! Yes." + +"O you will let me hold your brave hand, stranger?" + +"Hush! Yes, my poor sister; to the last." + + ***** + +The same shadows that are falling on the prison, are falling, in that +same hour of the early afternoon, on the Barrier with the crowd about +it, when a coach going out of Paris drives up to be examined. + +"Who goes here? Whom have we within? Papers!" + +The papers are handed out, and read. + +"Alexandre Manette. Physician. French. Which is he?" + +This is he; this helpless, inarticulately murmuring, wandering old man +pointed out. + +"Apparently the Citizen-Doctor is not in his right mind? The +Revolution-fever will have been too much for him?" + +Greatly too much for him. + +"Hah! Many suffer with it. Lucie. His daughter. French. Which is she?" + +This is she. + +"Apparently it must be. Lucie, the wife of Evremonde; is it not?" + +It is. + +"Hah! Evremonde has an assignation elsewhere. Lucie, her child. English. +This is she?" + +She and no other. + +"Kiss me, child of Evremonde. Now, thou hast kissed a good Republican; +something new in thy family; remember it! Sydney Carton. Advocate. +English. Which is he?" + +He lies here, in this corner of the carriage. He, too, is pointed out. + +"Apparently the English advocate is in a swoon?" + +It is hoped he will recover in the fresher air. It is represented that +he is not in strong health, and has separated sadly from a friend who is +under the displeasure of the Republic. + +"Is that all? It is not a great deal, that! Many are under the +displeasure of the Republic, and must look out at the little window. +Jarvis Lorry. Banker. English. Which is he?" + +"I am he. Necessarily, being the last." + +It is Jarvis Lorry who has replied to all the previous questions. It +is Jarvis Lorry who has alighted and stands with his hand on the coach +door, replying to a group of officials. They leisurely walk round the +carriage and leisurely mount the box, to look at what little luggage it +carries on the roof; the country-people hanging about, press nearer to +the coach doors and greedily stare in; a little child, carried by its +mother, has its short arm held out for it, that it may touch the wife of +an aristocrat who has gone to the Guillotine. + +"Behold your papers, Jarvis Lorry, countersigned." + +"One can depart, citizen?" + +"One can depart. Forward, my postilions! A good journey!" + +"I salute you, citizens.--And the first danger passed!" + +These are again the words of Jarvis Lorry, as he clasps his hands, and +looks upward. There is terror in the carriage, there is weeping, there +is the heavy breathing of the insensible traveller. + +"Are we not going too slowly? Can they not be induced to go faster?" +asks Lucie, clinging to the old man. + +"It would seem like flight, my darling. I must not urge them too much; +it would rouse suspicion." + +"Look back, look back, and see if we are pursued!" + +"The road is clear, my dearest. So far, we are not pursued." + +Houses in twos and threes pass by us, solitary farms, ruinous buildings, +dye-works, tanneries, and the like, open country, avenues of leafless +trees. The hard uneven pavement is under us, the soft deep mud is on +either side. Sometimes, we strike into the skirting mud, to avoid the +stones that clatter us and shake us; sometimes, we stick in ruts and +sloughs there. The agony of our impatience is then so great, that in our +wild alarm and hurry we are for getting out and running--hiding--doing +anything but stopping. + +Out of the open country, in again among ruinous buildings, solitary +farms, dye-works, tanneries, and the like, cottages in twos and threes, +avenues of leafless trees. Have these men deceived us, and taken us back +by another road? Is not this the same place twice over? Thank Heaven, +no. A village. Look back, look back, and see if we are pursued! Hush! +the posting-house. + +Leisurely, our four horses are taken out; leisurely, the coach stands in +the little street, bereft of horses, and with no likelihood upon it +of ever moving again; leisurely, the new horses come into visible +existence, one by one; leisurely, the new postilions follow, sucking and +plaiting the lashes of their whips; leisurely, the old postilions count +their money, make wrong additions, and arrive at dissatisfied results. +All the time, our overfraught hearts are beating at a rate that would +far outstrip the fastest gallop of the fastest horses ever foaled. + +At length the new postilions are in their saddles, and the old are left +behind. We are through the village, up the hill, and down the hill, and +on the low watery grounds. Suddenly, the postilions exchange speech with +animated gesticulation, and the horses are pulled up, almost on their +haunches. We are pursued? + +"Ho! Within the carriage there. Speak then!" + +"What is it?" asks Mr. Lorry, looking out at window. + +"How many did they say?" + +"I do not understand you." + +"--At the last post. How many to the Guillotine to-day?" + +"Fifty-two." + +"I said so! A brave number! My fellow-citizen here would have it +forty-two; ten more heads are worth having. The Guillotine goes +handsomely. I love it. Hi forward. Whoop!" + +The night comes on dark. He moves more; he is beginning to revive, and +to speak intelligibly; he thinks they are still together; he asks him, +by his name, what he has in his hand. O pity us, kind Heaven, and help +us! Look out, look out, and see if we are pursued. + +The wind is rushing after us, and the clouds are flying after us, and +the moon is plunging after us, and the whole wild night is in pursuit of +us; but, so far, we are pursued by nothing else. + + + + +XIV. The Knitting Done + + +In that same juncture of time when the Fifty-Two awaited their fate +Madame Defarge held darkly ominous council with The Vengeance and +Jacques Three of the Revolutionary Jury. Not in the wine-shop did Madame +Defarge confer with these ministers, but in the shed of the wood-sawyer, +erst a mender of roads. The sawyer himself did not participate in the +conference, but abided at a little distance, like an outer satellite who +was not to speak until required, or to offer an opinion until invited. + +"But our Defarge," said Jacques Three, "is undoubtedly a good +Republican? Eh?" + +"There is no better," the voluble Vengeance protested in her shrill +notes, "in France." + +"Peace, little Vengeance," said Madame Defarge, laying her hand with +a slight frown on her lieutenant's lips, "hear me speak. My husband, +fellow-citizen, is a good Republican and a bold man; he has deserved +well of the Republic, and possesses its confidence. But my husband has +his weaknesses, and he is so weak as to relent towards this Doctor." + +"It is a great pity," croaked Jacques Three, dubiously shaking his head, +with his cruel fingers at his hungry mouth; "it is not quite like a good +citizen; it is a thing to regret." + +"See you," said madame, "I care nothing for this Doctor, I. He may wear +his head or lose it, for any interest I have in him; it is all one to +me. But, the Evremonde people are to be exterminated, and the wife and +child must follow the husband and father." + +"She has a fine head for it," croaked Jacques Three. "I have seen blue +eyes and golden hair there, and they looked charming when Samson held +them up." Ogre that he was, he spoke like an epicure. + +Madame Defarge cast down her eyes, and reflected a little. + +"The child also," observed Jacques Three, with a meditative enjoyment +of his words, "has golden hair and blue eyes. And we seldom have a child +there. It is a pretty sight!" + +"In a word," said Madame Defarge, coming out of her short abstraction, +"I cannot trust my husband in this matter. Not only do I feel, since +last night, that I dare not confide to him the details of my projects; +but also I feel that if I delay, there is danger of his giving warning, +and then they might escape." + +"That must never be," croaked Jacques Three; "no one must escape. We +have not half enough as it is. We ought to have six score a day." + +"In a word," Madame Defarge went on, "my husband has not my reason for +pursuing this family to annihilation, and I have not his reason for +regarding this Doctor with any sensibility. I must act for myself, +therefore. Come hither, little citizen." + +The wood-sawyer, who held her in the respect, and himself in the +submission, of mortal fear, advanced with his hand to his red cap. + +"Touching those signals, little citizen," said Madame Defarge, sternly, +"that she made to the prisoners; you are ready to bear witness to them +this very day?" + +"Ay, ay, why not!" cried the sawyer. "Every day, in all weathers, from +two to four, always signalling, sometimes with the little one, sometimes +without. I know what I know. I have seen with my eyes." + +He made all manner of gestures while he spoke, as if in incidental +imitation of some few of the great diversity of signals that he had +never seen. + +"Clearly plots," said Jacques Three. "Transparently!" + +"There is no doubt of the Jury?" inquired Madame Defarge, letting her +eyes turn to him with a gloomy smile. + +"Rely upon the patriotic Jury, dear citizeness. I answer for my +fellow-Jurymen." + +"Now, let me see," said Madame Defarge, pondering again. "Yet once more! +Can I spare this Doctor to my husband? I have no feeling either way. Can +I spare him?" + +"He would count as one head," observed Jacques Three, in a low voice. +"We really have not heads enough; it would be a pity, I think." + +"He was signalling with her when I saw her," argued Madame Defarge; "I +cannot speak of one without the other; and I must not be silent, and +trust the case wholly to him, this little citizen here. For, I am not a +bad witness." + +The Vengeance and Jacques Three vied with each other in their fervent +protestations that she was the most admirable and marvellous of +witnesses. The little citizen, not to be outdone, declared her to be a +celestial witness. + +"He must take his chance," said Madame Defarge. "No, I cannot spare +him! You are engaged at three o'clock; you are going to see the batch of +to-day executed.--You?" + +The question was addressed to the wood-sawyer, who hurriedly replied in +the affirmative: seizing the occasion to add that he was the most ardent +of Republicans, and that he would be in effect the most desolate of +Republicans, if anything prevented him from enjoying the pleasure of +smoking his afternoon pipe in the contemplation of the droll national +barber. He was so very demonstrative herein, that he might have been +suspected (perhaps was, by the dark eyes that looked contemptuously at +him out of Madame Defarge's head) of having his small individual fears +for his own personal safety, every hour in the day. + +"I," said madame, "am equally engaged at the same place. After it is +over--say at eight to-night--come you to me, in Saint Antoine, and we +will give information against these people at my Section." + +The wood-sawyer said he would be proud and flattered to attend the +citizeness. The citizeness looking at him, he became embarrassed, evaded +her glance as a small dog would have done, retreated among his wood, and +hid his confusion over the handle of his saw. + +Madame Defarge beckoned the Juryman and The Vengeance a little nearer to +the door, and there expounded her further views to them thus: + +"She will now be at home, awaiting the moment of his death. She will +be mourning and grieving. She will be in a state of mind to impeach the +justice of the Republic. She will be full of sympathy with its enemies. +I will go to her." + +"What an admirable woman; what an adorable woman!" exclaimed Jacques +Three, rapturously. "Ah, my cherished!" cried The Vengeance; and +embraced her. + +"Take you my knitting," said Madame Defarge, placing it in her +lieutenant's hands, "and have it ready for me in my usual seat. Keep +me my usual chair. Go you there, straight, for there will probably be a +greater concourse than usual, to-day." + +"I willingly obey the orders of my Chief," said The Vengeance with +alacrity, and kissing her cheek. "You will not be late?" + +"I shall be there before the commencement." + +"And before the tumbrils arrive. Be sure you are there, my soul," said +The Vengeance, calling after her, for she had already turned into the +street, "before the tumbrils arrive!" + +Madame Defarge slightly waved her hand, to imply that she heard, and +might be relied upon to arrive in good time, and so went through the +mud, and round the corner of the prison wall. The Vengeance and the +Juryman, looking after her as she walked away, were highly appreciative +of her fine figure, and her superb moral endowments. + +There were many women at that time, upon whom the time laid a dreadfully +disfiguring hand; but, there was not one among them more to be dreaded +than this ruthless woman, now taking her way along the streets. Of a +strong and fearless character, of shrewd sense and readiness, of great +determination, of that kind of beauty which not only seems to impart +to its possessor firmness and animosity, but to strike into others an +instinctive recognition of those qualities; the troubled time would have +heaved her up, under any circumstances. But, imbued from her childhood +with a brooding sense of wrong, and an inveterate hatred of a class, +opportunity had developed her into a tigress. She was absolutely without +pity. If she had ever had the virtue in her, it had quite gone out of +her. + +It was nothing to her, that an innocent man was to die for the sins of +his forefathers; she saw, not him, but them. It was nothing to her, that +his wife was to be made a widow and his daughter an orphan; that was +insufficient punishment, because they were her natural enemies and +her prey, and as such had no right to live. To appeal to her, was made +hopeless by her having no sense of pity, even for herself. If she had +been laid low in the streets, in any of the many encounters in which +she had been engaged, she would not have pitied herself; nor, if she had +been ordered to the axe to-morrow, would she have gone to it with any +softer feeling than a fierce desire to change places with the man who +sent her there. + +Such a heart Madame Defarge carried under her rough robe. Carelessly +worn, it was a becoming robe enough, in a certain weird way, and her +dark hair looked rich under her coarse red cap. Lying hidden in her +bosom, was a loaded pistol. Lying hidden at her waist, was a sharpened +dagger. Thus accoutred, and walking with the confident tread of such +a character, and with the supple freedom of a woman who had habitually +walked in her girlhood, bare-foot and bare-legged, on the brown +sea-sand, Madame Defarge took her way along the streets. + +Now, when the journey of the travelling coach, at that very moment +waiting for the completion of its load, had been planned out last night, +the difficulty of taking Miss Pross in it had much engaged Mr. Lorry's +attention. It was not merely desirable to avoid overloading the coach, +but it was of the highest importance that the time occupied in examining +it and its passengers, should be reduced to the utmost; since their +escape might depend on the saving of only a few seconds here and there. +Finally, he had proposed, after anxious consideration, that Miss Pross +and Jerry, who were at liberty to leave the city, should leave it at +three o'clock in the lightest-wheeled conveyance known to that period. +Unencumbered with luggage, they would soon overtake the coach, and, +passing it and preceding it on the road, would order its horses in +advance, and greatly facilitate its progress during the precious hours +of the night, when delay was the most to be dreaded. + +Seeing in this arrangement the hope of rendering real service in that +pressing emergency, Miss Pross hailed it with joy. She and Jerry had +beheld the coach start, had known who it was that Solomon brought, had +passed some ten minutes in tortures of suspense, and were now concluding +their arrangements to follow the coach, even as Madame Defarge, +taking her way through the streets, now drew nearer and nearer to the +else-deserted lodging in which they held their consultation. + +"Now what do you think, Mr. Cruncher," said Miss Pross, whose agitation +was so great that she could hardly speak, or stand, or move, or live: +"what do you think of our not starting from this courtyard? Another +carriage having already gone from here to-day, it might awaken +suspicion." + +"My opinion, miss," returned Mr. Cruncher, "is as you're right. Likewise +wot I'll stand by you, right or wrong." + +"I am so distracted with fear and hope for our precious creatures," said +Miss Pross, wildly crying, "that I am incapable of forming any plan. Are +_you_ capable of forming any plan, my dear good Mr. Cruncher?" + +"Respectin' a future spear o' life, miss," returned Mr. Cruncher, "I +hope so. Respectin' any present use o' this here blessed old head o' +mine, I think not. Would you do me the favour, miss, to take notice o' +two promises and wows wot it is my wishes fur to record in this here +crisis?" + +"Oh, for gracious sake!" cried Miss Pross, still wildly crying, "record +them at once, and get them out of the way, like an excellent man." + +"First," said Mr. Cruncher, who was all in a tremble, and who spoke with +an ashy and solemn visage, "them poor things well out o' this, never no +more will I do it, never no more!" + +"I am quite sure, Mr. Cruncher," returned Miss Pross, "that you +never will do it again, whatever it is, and I beg you not to think it +necessary to mention more particularly what it is." + +"No, miss," returned Jerry, "it shall not be named to you. Second: them +poor things well out o' this, and never no more will I interfere with +Mrs. Cruncher's flopping, never no more!" + +"Whatever housekeeping arrangement that may be," said Miss Pross, +striving to dry her eyes and compose herself, "I have no doubt it +is best that Mrs. Cruncher should have it entirely under her own +superintendence.--O my poor darlings!" + +"I go so far as to say, miss, moreover," proceeded Mr. Cruncher, with a +most alarming tendency to hold forth as from a pulpit--"and let my words +be took down and took to Mrs. Cruncher through yourself--that wot my +opinions respectin' flopping has undergone a change, and that wot I only +hope with all my heart as Mrs. Cruncher may be a flopping at the present +time." + +"There, there, there! I hope she is, my dear man," cried the distracted +Miss Pross, "and I hope she finds it answering her expectations." + +"Forbid it," proceeded Mr. Cruncher, with additional solemnity, +additional slowness, and additional tendency to hold forth and hold +out, "as anything wot I have ever said or done should be wisited on my +earnest wishes for them poor creeturs now! Forbid it as we shouldn't all +flop (if it was anyways conwenient) to get 'em out o' this here dismal +risk! Forbid it, miss! Wot I say, for-_bid_ it!" This was Mr. Cruncher's +conclusion after a protracted but vain endeavour to find a better one. + +And still Madame Defarge, pursuing her way along the streets, came +nearer and nearer. + +"If we ever get back to our native land," said Miss Pross, "you may rely +upon my telling Mrs. Cruncher as much as I may be able to remember and +understand of what you have so impressively said; and at all events +you may be sure that I shall bear witness to your being thoroughly in +earnest at this dreadful time. Now, pray let us think! My esteemed Mr. +Cruncher, let us think!" + +Still, Madame Defarge, pursuing her way along the streets, came nearer +and nearer. + +"If you were to go before," said Miss Pross, "and stop the vehicle and +horses from coming here, and were to wait somewhere for me; wouldn't +that be best?" + +Mr. Cruncher thought it might be best. + +"Where could you wait for me?" asked Miss Pross. + +Mr. Cruncher was so bewildered that he could think of no locality but +Temple Bar. Alas! Temple Bar was hundreds of miles away, and Madame +Defarge was drawing very near indeed. + +"By the cathedral door," said Miss Pross. "Would it be much out of +the way, to take me in, near the great cathedral door between the two +towers?" + +"No, miss," answered Mr. Cruncher. + +"Then, like the best of men," said Miss Pross, "go to the posting-house +straight, and make that change." + +"I am doubtful," said Mr. Cruncher, hesitating and shaking his head, +"about leaving of you, you see. We don't know what may happen." + +"Heaven knows we don't," returned Miss Pross, "but have no fear for me. +Take me in at the cathedral, at Three o'Clock, or as near it as you can, +and I am sure it will be better than our going from here. I feel certain +of it. There! Bless you, Mr. Cruncher! Think-not of me, but of the lives +that may depend on both of us!" + +This exordium, and Miss Pross's two hands in quite agonised entreaty +clasping his, decided Mr. Cruncher. With an encouraging nod or two, he +immediately went out to alter the arrangements, and left her by herself +to follow as she had proposed. + +The having originated a precaution which was already in course of +execution, was a great relief to Miss Pross. The necessity of composing +her appearance so that it should attract no special notice in the +streets, was another relief. She looked at her watch, and it was twenty +minutes past two. She had no time to lose, but must get ready at once. + +Afraid, in her extreme perturbation, of the loneliness of the deserted +rooms, and of half-imagined faces peeping from behind every open door +in them, Miss Pross got a basin of cold water and began laving her eyes, +which were swollen and red. Haunted by her feverish apprehensions, she +could not bear to have her sight obscured for a minute at a time by the +dripping water, but constantly paused and looked round to see that there +was no one watching her. In one of those pauses she recoiled and cried +out, for she saw a figure standing in the room. + +The basin fell to the ground broken, and the water flowed to the feet of +Madame Defarge. By strange stern ways, and through much staining blood, +those feet had come to meet that water. + +Madame Defarge looked coldly at her, and said, "The wife of Evremonde; +where is she?" + +It flashed upon Miss Pross's mind that the doors were all standing open, +and would suggest the flight. Her first act was to shut them. There were +four in the room, and she shut them all. She then placed herself before +the door of the chamber which Lucie had occupied. + +Madame Defarge's dark eyes followed her through this rapid movement, +and rested on her when it was finished. Miss Pross had nothing beautiful +about her; years had not tamed the wildness, or softened the grimness, +of her appearance; but, she too was a determined woman in her different +way, and she measured Madame Defarge with her eyes, every inch. + +"You might, from your appearance, be the wife of Lucifer," said Miss +Pross, in her breathing. "Nevertheless, you shall not get the better of +me. I am an Englishwoman." + +Madame Defarge looked at her scornfully, but still with something of +Miss Pross's own perception that they two were at bay. She saw a tight, +hard, wiry woman before her, as Mr. Lorry had seen in the same figure a +woman with a strong hand, in the years gone by. She knew full well that +Miss Pross was the family's devoted friend; Miss Pross knew full well +that Madame Defarge was the family's malevolent enemy. + +"On my way yonder," said Madame Defarge, with a slight movement of +her hand towards the fatal spot, "where they reserve my chair and my +knitting for me, I am come to make my compliments to her in passing. I +wish to see her." + +"I know that your intentions are evil," said Miss Pross, "and you may +depend upon it, I'll hold my own against them." + +Each spoke in her own language; neither understood the other's words; +both were very watchful, and intent to deduce from look and manner, what +the unintelligible words meant. + +"It will do her no good to keep herself concealed from me at this +moment," said Madame Defarge. "Good patriots will know what that means. +Let me see her. Go tell her that I wish to see her. Do you hear?" + +"If those eyes of yours were bed-winches," returned Miss Pross, "and I +was an English four-poster, they shouldn't loose a splinter of me. No, +you wicked foreign woman; I am your match." + +Madame Defarge was not likely to follow these idiomatic remarks in +detail; but, she so far understood them as to perceive that she was set +at naught. + +"Woman imbecile and pig-like!" said Madame Defarge, frowning. "I take no +answer from you. I demand to see her. Either tell her that I demand +to see her, or stand out of the way of the door and let me go to her!" +This, with an angry explanatory wave of her right arm. + +"I little thought," said Miss Pross, "that I should ever want to +understand your nonsensical language; but I would give all I have, +except the clothes I wear, to know whether you suspect the truth, or any +part of it." + +Neither of them for a single moment released the other's eyes. Madame +Defarge had not moved from the spot where she stood when Miss Pross +first became aware of her; but, she now advanced one step. + +"I am a Briton," said Miss Pross, "I am desperate. I don't care an +English Twopence for myself. I know that the longer I keep you here, the +greater hope there is for my Ladybird. I'll not leave a handful of that +dark hair upon your head, if you lay a finger on me!" + +Thus Miss Pross, with a shake of her head and a flash of her eyes +between every rapid sentence, and every rapid sentence a whole breath. +Thus Miss Pross, who had never struck a blow in her life. + +But, her courage was of that emotional nature that it brought the +irrepressible tears into her eyes. This was a courage that Madame +Defarge so little comprehended as to mistake for weakness. "Ha, ha!" she +laughed, "you poor wretch! What are you worth! I address myself to that +Doctor." Then she raised her voice and called out, "Citizen Doctor! Wife +of Evremonde! Child of Evremonde! Any person but this miserable fool, +answer the Citizeness Defarge!" + +Perhaps the following silence, perhaps some latent disclosure in the +expression of Miss Pross's face, perhaps a sudden misgiving apart from +either suggestion, whispered to Madame Defarge that they were gone. +Three of the doors she opened swiftly, and looked in. + +"Those rooms are all in disorder, there has been hurried packing, there +are odds and ends upon the ground. There is no one in that room behind +you! Let me look." + +"Never!" said Miss Pross, who understood the request as perfectly as +Madame Defarge understood the answer. + +"If they are not in that room, they are gone, and can be pursued and +brought back," said Madame Defarge to herself. + +"As long as you don't know whether they are in that room or not, you are +uncertain what to do," said Miss Pross to herself; "and you shall not +know that, if I can prevent your knowing it; and know that, or not know +that, you shall not leave here while I can hold you." + +"I have been in the streets from the first, nothing has stopped me, +I will tear you to pieces, but I will have you from that door," said +Madame Defarge. + +"We are alone at the top of a high house in a solitary courtyard, we are +not likely to be heard, and I pray for bodily strength to keep you here, +while every minute you are here is worth a hundred thousand guineas to +my darling," said Miss Pross. + +Madame Defarge made at the door. Miss Pross, on the instinct of the +moment, seized her round the waist in both her arms, and held her tight. +It was in vain for Madame Defarge to struggle and to strike; Miss Pross, +with the vigorous tenacity of love, always so much stronger than hate, +clasped her tight, and even lifted her from the floor in the struggle +that they had. The two hands of Madame Defarge buffeted and tore her +face; but, Miss Pross, with her head down, held her round the waist, and +clung to her with more than the hold of a drowning woman. + +Soon, Madame Defarge's hands ceased to strike, and felt at her encircled +waist. "It is under my arm," said Miss Pross, in smothered tones, "you +shall not draw it. I am stronger than you, I bless Heaven for it. I hold +you till one or other of us faints or dies!" + +Madame Defarge's hands were at her bosom. Miss Pross looked up, saw +what it was, struck at it, struck out a flash and a crash, and stood +alone--blinded with smoke. + +All this was in a second. As the smoke cleared, leaving an awful +stillness, it passed out on the air, like the soul of the furious woman +whose body lay lifeless on the ground. + +In the first fright and horror of her situation, Miss Pross passed the +body as far from it as she could, and ran down the stairs to call for +fruitless help. Happily, she bethought herself of the consequences of +what she did, in time to check herself and go back. It was dreadful to +go in at the door again; but, she did go in, and even went near it, to +get the bonnet and other things that she must wear. These she put on, +out on the staircase, first shutting and locking the door and taking +away the key. She then sat down on the stairs a few moments to breathe +and to cry, and then got up and hurried away. + +By good fortune she had a veil on her bonnet, or she could hardly have +gone along the streets without being stopped. By good fortune, too, she +was naturally so peculiar in appearance as not to show disfigurement +like any other woman. She needed both advantages, for the marks of +gripping fingers were deep in her face, and her hair was torn, and her +dress (hastily composed with unsteady hands) was clutched and dragged a +hundred ways. + +In crossing the bridge, she dropped the door key in the river. Arriving +at the cathedral some few minutes before her escort, and waiting there, +she thought, what if the key were already taken in a net, what if +it were identified, what if the door were opened and the remains +discovered, what if she were stopped at the gate, sent to prison, and +charged with murder! In the midst of these fluttering thoughts, the +escort appeared, took her in, and took her away. + +"Is there any noise in the streets?" she asked him. + +"The usual noises," Mr. Cruncher replied; and looked surprised by the +question and by her aspect. + +"I don't hear you," said Miss Pross. "What do you say?" + +It was in vain for Mr. Cruncher to repeat what he said; Miss Pross could +not hear him. "So I'll nod my head," thought Mr. Cruncher, amazed, "at +all events she'll see that." And she did. + +"Is there any noise in the streets now?" asked Miss Pross again, +presently. + +Again Mr. Cruncher nodded his head. + +"I don't hear it." + +"Gone deaf in an hour?" said Mr. Cruncher, ruminating, with his mind +much disturbed; "wot's come to her?" + +"I feel," said Miss Pross, "as if there had been a flash and a crash, +and that crash was the last thing I should ever hear in this life." + +"Blest if she ain't in a queer condition!" said Mr. Cruncher, more and +more disturbed. "Wot can she have been a takin', to keep her courage up? +Hark! There's the roll of them dreadful carts! You can hear that, miss?" + +"I can hear," said Miss Pross, seeing that he spoke to her, "nothing. O, +my good man, there was first a great crash, and then a great stillness, +and that stillness seems to be fixed and unchangeable, never to be +broken any more as long as my life lasts." + +"If she don't hear the roll of those dreadful carts, now very nigh their +journey's end," said Mr. Cruncher, glancing over his shoulder, "it's my +opinion that indeed she never will hear anything else in this world." + +And indeed she never did. + + + + +XV. The Footsteps Die Out For Ever + + +Along the Paris streets, the death-carts rumble, hollow and harsh. Six +tumbrils carry the day's wine to La Guillotine. All the devouring and +insatiate Monsters imagined since imagination could record itself, +are fused in the one realisation, Guillotine. And yet there is not in +France, with its rich variety of soil and climate, a blade, a leaf, +a root, a sprig, a peppercorn, which will grow to maturity under +conditions more certain than those that have produced this horror. Crush +humanity out of shape once more, under similar hammers, and it will +twist itself into the same tortured forms. Sow the same seed of +rapacious license and oppression over again, and it will surely yield +the same fruit according to its kind. + +Six tumbrils roll along the streets. Change these back again to what +they were, thou powerful enchanter, Time, and they shall be seen to be +the carriages of absolute monarchs, the equipages of feudal nobles, the +toilettes of flaring Jezebels, the churches that are not my father's +house but dens of thieves, the huts of millions of starving peasants! +No; the great magician who majestically works out the appointed order +of the Creator, never reverses his transformations. "If thou be changed +into this shape by the will of God," say the seers to the enchanted, in +the wise Arabian stories, "then remain so! But, if thou wear this +form through mere passing conjuration, then resume thy former aspect!" +Changeless and hopeless, the tumbrils roll along. + +As the sombre wheels of the six carts go round, they seem to plough up +a long crooked furrow among the populace in the streets. Ridges of faces +are thrown to this side and to that, and the ploughs go steadily onward. +So used are the regular inhabitants of the houses to the spectacle, that +in many windows there are no people, and in some the occupation of the +hands is not so much as suspended, while the eyes survey the faces in +the tumbrils. Here and there, the inmate has visitors to see the sight; +then he points his finger, with something of the complacency of a +curator or authorised exponent, to this cart and to this, and seems to +tell who sat here yesterday, and who there the day before. + +Of the riders in the tumbrils, some observe these things, and all +things on their last roadside, with an impassive stare; others, with +a lingering interest in the ways of life and men. Some, seated with +drooping heads, are sunk in silent despair; again, there are some so +heedful of their looks that they cast upon the multitude such glances as +they have seen in theatres, and in pictures. Several close their eyes, +and think, or try to get their straying thoughts together. Only one, and +he a miserable creature, of a crazed aspect, is so shattered and made +drunk by horror, that he sings, and tries to dance. Not one of the whole +number appeals by look or gesture, to the pity of the people. + +There is a guard of sundry horsemen riding abreast of the tumbrils, +and faces are often turned up to some of them, and they are asked some +question. It would seem to be always the same question, for, it is +always followed by a press of people towards the third cart. The +horsemen abreast of that cart, frequently point out one man in it with +their swords. The leading curiosity is, to know which is he; he stands +at the back of the tumbril with his head bent down, to converse with a +mere girl who sits on the side of the cart, and holds his hand. He has +no curiosity or care for the scene about him, and always speaks to the +girl. Here and there in the long street of St. Honore, cries are raised +against him. If they move him at all, it is only to a quiet smile, as he +shakes his hair a little more loosely about his face. He cannot easily +touch his face, his arms being bound. + +On the steps of a church, awaiting the coming-up of the tumbrils, stands +the Spy and prison-sheep. He looks into the first of them: not there. +He looks into the second: not there. He already asks himself, "Has he +sacrificed me?" when his face clears, as he looks into the third. + +"Which is Evremonde?" says a man behind him. + +"That. At the back there." + +"With his hand in the girl's?" + +"Yes." + +The man cries, "Down, Evremonde! To the Guillotine all aristocrats! +Down, Evremonde!" + +"Hush, hush!" the Spy entreats him, timidly. + +"And why not, citizen?" + +"He is going to pay the forfeit: it will be paid in five minutes more. +Let him be at peace." + +But the man continuing to exclaim, "Down, Evremonde!" the face of +Evremonde is for a moment turned towards him. Evremonde then sees the +Spy, and looks attentively at him, and goes his way. + +The clocks are on the stroke of three, and the furrow ploughed among the +populace is turning round, to come on into the place of execution, and +end. The ridges thrown to this side and to that, now crumble in and +close behind the last plough as it passes on, for all are following +to the Guillotine. In front of it, seated in chairs, as in a garden of +public diversion, are a number of women, busily knitting. On one of the +fore-most chairs, stands The Vengeance, looking about for her friend. + +"Therese!" she cries, in her shrill tones. "Who has seen her? Therese +Defarge!" + +"She never missed before," says a knitting-woman of the sisterhood. + +"No; nor will she miss now," cries The Vengeance, petulantly. "Therese." + +"Louder," the woman recommends. + +Ay! Louder, Vengeance, much louder, and still she will scarcely hear +thee. Louder yet, Vengeance, with a little oath or so added, and yet +it will hardly bring her. Send other women up and down to seek her, +lingering somewhere; and yet, although the messengers have done dread +deeds, it is questionable whether of their own wills they will go far +enough to find her! + +"Bad Fortune!" cries The Vengeance, stamping her foot in the chair, "and +here are the tumbrils! And Evremonde will be despatched in a wink, and +she not here! See her knitting in my hand, and her empty chair ready for +her. I cry with vexation and disappointment!" + +As The Vengeance descends from her elevation to do it, the tumbrils +begin to discharge their loads. The ministers of Sainte Guillotine are +robed and ready. Crash!--A head is held up, and the knitting-women who +scarcely lifted their eyes to look at it a moment ago when it could +think and speak, count One. + +The second tumbril empties and moves on; the third comes up. Crash!--And +the knitting-women, never faltering or pausing in their Work, count Two. + +The supposed Evremonde descends, and the seamstress is lifted out next +after him. He has not relinquished her patient hand in getting out, but +still holds it as he promised. He gently places her with her back to the +crashing engine that constantly whirrs up and falls, and she looks into +his face and thanks him. + +"But for you, dear stranger, I should not be so composed, for I am +naturally a poor little thing, faint of heart; nor should I have been +able to raise my thoughts to Him who was put to death, that we might +have hope and comfort here to-day. I think you were sent to me by +Heaven." + +"Or you to me," says Sydney Carton. "Keep your eyes upon me, dear child, +and mind no other object." + +"I mind nothing while I hold your hand. I shall mind nothing when I let +it go, if they are rapid." + +"They will be rapid. Fear not!" + +The two stand in the fast-thinning throng of victims, but they speak as +if they were alone. Eye to eye, voice to voice, hand to hand, heart to +heart, these two children of the Universal Mother, else so wide apart +and differing, have come together on the dark highway, to repair home +together, and to rest in her bosom. + +"Brave and generous friend, will you let me ask you one last question? I +am very ignorant, and it troubles me--just a little." + +"Tell me what it is." + +"I have a cousin, an only relative and an orphan, like myself, whom I +love very dearly. She is five years younger than I, and she lives in a +farmer's house in the south country. Poverty parted us, and she knows +nothing of my fate--for I cannot write--and if I could, how should I +tell her! It is better as it is." + +"Yes, yes: better as it is." + +"What I have been thinking as we came along, and what I am still +thinking now, as I look into your kind strong face which gives me so +much support, is this:--If the Republic really does good to the poor, +and they come to be less hungry, and in all ways to suffer less, she may +live a long time: she may even live to be old." + +"What then, my gentle sister?" + +"Do you think:" the uncomplaining eyes in which there is so much +endurance, fill with tears, and the lips part a little more and tremble: +"that it will seem long to me, while I wait for her in the better land +where I trust both you and I will be mercifully sheltered?" + +"It cannot be, my child; there is no Time there, and no trouble there." + +"You comfort me so much! I am so ignorant. Am I to kiss you now? Is the +moment come?" + +"Yes." + +She kisses his lips; he kisses hers; they solemnly bless each other. +The spare hand does not tremble as he releases it; nothing worse than +a sweet, bright constancy is in the patient face. She goes next before +him--is gone; the knitting-women count Twenty-Two. + +"I am the Resurrection and the Life, saith the Lord: he that believeth +in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live: and whosoever liveth and +believeth in me shall never die." + +The murmuring of many voices, the upturning of many faces, the pressing +on of many footsteps in the outskirts of the crowd, so that it swells +forward in a mass, like one great heave of water, all flashes away. +Twenty-Three. + + ***** + +They said of him, about the city that night, that it was the +peacefullest man's face ever beheld there. Many added that he looked +sublime and prophetic. + +One of the most remarkable sufferers by the same axe--a woman--had asked +at the foot of the same scaffold, not long before, to be allowed to +write down the thoughts that were inspiring her. If he had given any +utterance to his, and they were prophetic, they would have been these: + +"I see Barsad, and Cly, Defarge, The Vengeance, the Juryman, the Judge, +long ranks of the new oppressors who have risen on the destruction of +the old, perishing by this retributive instrument, before it shall cease +out of its present use. I see a beautiful city and a brilliant people +rising from this abyss, and, in their struggles to be truly free, in +their triumphs and defeats, through long years to come, I see the evil +of this time and of the previous time of which this is the natural +birth, gradually making expiation for itself and wearing out. + +"I see the lives for which I lay down my life, peaceful, useful, +prosperous and happy, in that England which I shall see no more. I see +Her with a child upon her bosom, who bears my name. I see her father, +aged and bent, but otherwise restored, and faithful to all men in his +healing office, and at peace. I see the good old man, so long their +friend, in ten years' time enriching them with all he has, and passing +tranquilly to his reward. + +"I see that I hold a sanctuary in their hearts, and in the hearts of +their descendants, generations hence. I see her, an old woman, weeping +for me on the anniversary of this day. I see her and her husband, their +course done, lying side by side in their last earthly bed, and I know +that each was not more honoured and held sacred in the other's soul, +than I was in the souls of both. + +"I see that child who lay upon her bosom and who bore my name, a man +winning his way up in that path of life which once was mine. I see him +winning it so well, that my name is made illustrious there by the +light of his. I see the blots I threw upon it, faded away. I see him, +fore-most of just judges and honoured men, bringing a boy of my name, +with a forehead that I know and golden hair, to this place--then fair to +look upon, with not a trace of this day's disfigurement--and I hear him +tell the child my story, with a tender and a faltering voice. + +"It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a +far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known." \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Text2.txt b/Text2.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ae546dd --- /dev/null +++ b/Text2.txt @@ -0,0 +1,3842 @@ +A CHRISTMAS CAROL + +IN PROSE +BEING +A Ghost Story of Christmas + +by Charles Dickens + + + +PREFACE + +I HAVE endeavoured in this Ghostly little book, +to raise the Ghost of an Idea, which shall not put my +readers out of humour with themselves, with each other, +with the season, or with me. May it haunt their houses +pleasantly, and no one wish to lay it. + +Their faithful Friend and Servant, + C. D. +December, 1843. + + + +CONTENTS + +Stave I: Marley's Ghost +Stave II: The First of the Three Spirits +Stave III: The Second of the Three Spirits +Stave IV: The Last of the Spirits +Stave V: The End of It + + + +STAVE I: MARLEY'S GHOST + +MARLEY was dead: to begin with. There is no doubt +whatever about that. The register of his burial was +signed by the clergyman, the clerk, the undertaker, +and the chief mourner. Scrooge signed it: and +Scrooge's name was good upon 'Change, for anything he +chose to put his hand to. Old Marley was as dead as a +door-nail. + +Mind! I don't mean to say that I know, of my +own knowledge, what there is particularly dead about +a door-nail. I might have been inclined, myself, to +regard a coffin-nail as the deadest piece of ironmongery +in the trade. But the wisdom of our ancestors +is in the simile; and my unhallowed hands +shall not disturb it, or the Country's done for. You +will therefore permit me to repeat, emphatically, that +Marley was as dead as a door-nail. + +Scrooge knew he was dead? Of course he did. +How could it be otherwise? Scrooge and he were +partners for I don't know how many years. Scrooge +was his sole executor, his sole administrator, his sole +assign, his sole residuary legatee, his sole friend, and +sole mourner. And even Scrooge was not so dreadfully +cut up by the sad event, but that he was an excellent +man of business on the very day of the funeral, +and solemnised it with an undoubted bargain. + +The mention of Marley's funeral brings me back to +the point I started from. There is no doubt that Marley +was dead. This must be distinctly understood, or +nothing wonderful can come of the story I am going +to relate. If we were not perfectly convinced that +Hamlet's Father died before the play began, there +would be nothing more remarkable in his taking a +stroll at night, in an easterly wind, upon his own ramparts, +than there would be in any other middle-aged +gentleman rashly turning out after dark in a breezy +spot--say Saint Paul's Churchyard for instance-- +literally to astonish his son's weak mind. + +Scrooge never painted out Old Marley's name. +There it stood, years afterwards, above the warehouse +door: Scrooge and Marley. The firm was known as +Scrooge and Marley. Sometimes people new to the +business called Scrooge Scrooge, and sometimes Marley, +but he answered to both names. It was all the +same to him. + +Oh! But he was a tight-fisted hand at the grind-stone, +Scrooge! a squeezing, wrenching, grasping, scraping, +clutching, covetous, old sinner! Hard and sharp as flint, +from which no steel had ever struck out generous fire; +secret, and self-contained, and solitary as an oyster. The +cold within him froze his old features, nipped his pointed +nose, shrivelled his cheek, stiffened his gait; made his +eyes red, his thin lips blue; and spoke out shrewdly in his +grating voice. A frosty rime was on his head, and on his +eyebrows, and his wiry chin. He carried his own low +temperature always about with him; he iced his office in +the dog-days; and didn't thaw it one degree at Christmas. + +External heat and cold had little influence on +Scrooge. No warmth could warm, no wintry weather +chill him. No wind that blew was bitterer than he, +no falling snow was more intent upon its purpose, no +pelting rain less open to entreaty. Foul weather didn't +know where to have him. The heaviest rain, and +snow, and hail, and sleet, could boast of the advantage +over him in only one respect. They often "came down" +handsomely, and Scrooge never did. + +Nobody ever stopped him in the street to say, with +gladsome looks, "My dear Scrooge, how are you? +When will you come to see me?" No beggars implored +him to bestow a trifle, no children asked him +what it was o'clock, no man or woman ever once in all +his life inquired the way to such and such a place, of +Scrooge. Even the blind men's dogs appeared to +know him; and when they saw him coming on, would +tug their owners into doorways and up courts; and +then would wag their tails as though they said, "No +eye at all is better than an evil eye, dark master!" + +But what did Scrooge care! It was the very thing +he liked. To edge his way along the crowded paths +of life, warning all human sympathy to keep its distance, +was what the knowing ones call "nuts" to Scrooge. + +Once upon a time--of all the good days in the year, +on Christmas Eve--old Scrooge sat busy in his +counting-house. It was cold, bleak, biting weather: foggy +withal: and he could hear the people in the court outside, +go wheezing up and down, beating their hands +upon their breasts, and stamping their feet upon the +pavement stones to warm them. The city clocks had +only just gone three, but it was quite dark already-- +it had not been light all day--and candles were flaring +in the windows of the neighbouring offices, like +ruddy smears upon the palpable brown air. The fog +came pouring in at every chink and keyhole, and was +so dense without, that although the court was of the +narrowest, the houses opposite were mere phantoms. +To see the dingy cloud come drooping down, obscuring +everything, one might have thought that Nature +lived hard by, and was brewing on a large scale. + +The door of Scrooge's counting-house was open +that he might keep his eye upon his clerk, who in a +dismal little cell beyond, a sort of tank, was copying +letters. Scrooge had a very small fire, but the clerk's +fire was so very much smaller that it looked like one +coal. But he couldn't replenish it, for Scrooge kept +the coal-box in his own room; and so surely as the +clerk came in with the shovel, the master predicted +that it would be necessary for them to part. Wherefore +the clerk put on his white comforter, and tried to +warm himself at the candle; in which effort, not being +a man of a strong imagination, he failed. + +"A merry Christmas, uncle! God save you!" cried +a cheerful voice. It was the voice of Scrooge's +nephew, who came upon him so quickly that this was +the first intimation he had of his approach. + +"Bah!" said Scrooge, "Humbug!" + +He had so heated himself with rapid walking in the +fog and frost, this nephew of Scrooge's, that he was +all in a glow; his face was ruddy and handsome; his +eyes sparkled, and his breath smoked again. + +"Christmas a humbug, uncle!" said Scrooge's +nephew. "You don't mean that, I am sure?" + +"I do," said Scrooge. "Merry Christmas! What +right have you to be merry? What reason have you +to be merry? You're poor enough." + +"Come, then," returned the nephew gaily. "What +right have you to be dismal? What reason have you +to be morose? You're rich enough." + +Scrooge having no better answer ready on the spur +of the moment, said, "Bah!" again; and followed it up +with "Humbug." + +"Don't be cross, uncle!" said the nephew. + +"What else can I be," returned the uncle, "when I +live in such a world of fools as this? Merry Christmas! +Out upon merry Christmas! What's Christmas +time to you but a time for paying bills without +money; a time for finding yourself a year older, but +not an hour richer; a time for balancing your books +and having every item in 'em through a round dozen +of months presented dead against you? If I could +work my will," said Scrooge indignantly, "every idiot +who goes about with 'Merry Christmas' on his lips, +should be boiled with his own pudding, and buried +with a stake of holly through his heart. He should!" + +"Uncle!" pleaded the nephew. + +"Nephew!" returned the uncle sternly, "keep Christmas +in your own way, and let me keep it in mine." + +"Keep it!" repeated Scrooge's nephew. "But you +don't keep it." + +"Let me leave it alone, then," said Scrooge. "Much +good may it do you! Much good it has ever done +you!" + +"There are many things from which I might have +derived good, by which I have not profited, I dare +say," returned the nephew. "Christmas among the +rest. But I am sure I have always thought of Christmas +time, when it has come round--apart from the +veneration due to its sacred name and origin, if anything +belonging to it can be apart from that--as a +good time; a kind, forgiving, charitable, pleasant +time; the only time I know of, in the long calendar +of the year, when men and women seem by one consent +to open their shut-up hearts freely, and to think +of people below them as if they really were +fellow-passengers to the grave, and not another race +of creatures bound on other journeys. And therefore, +uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or +silver in my pocket, I believe that it has done me +good, and will do me good; and I say, God bless it!" + +The clerk in the Tank involuntarily applauded. +Becoming immediately sensible of the impropriety, +he poked the fire, and extinguished the last frail spark +for ever. + +"Let me hear another sound from you," said +Scrooge, "and you'll keep your Christmas by losing +your situation! You're quite a powerful speaker, +sir," he added, turning to his nephew. "I wonder you +don't go into Parliament." + +"Don't be angry, uncle. Come! Dine with us to-morrow." + +Scrooge said that he would see him--yes, indeed he +did. He went the whole length of the expression, +and said that he would see him in that extremity first. + +"But why?" cried Scrooge's nephew. "Why?" + +"Why did you get married?" said Scrooge. + +"Because I fell in love." + +"Because you fell in love!" growled Scrooge, as if +that were the only one thing in the world more ridiculous +than a merry Christmas. "Good afternoon!" + +"Nay, uncle, but you never came to see me before +that happened. Why give it as a reason for not +coming now?" + +"Good afternoon," said Scrooge. + +"I want nothing from you; I ask nothing of you; +why cannot we be friends?" + +"Good afternoon," said Scrooge. + +"I am sorry, with all my heart, to find you so +resolute. We have never had any quarrel, to which I +have been a party. But I have made the trial in +homage to Christmas, and I'll keep my Christmas +humour to the last. So A Merry Christmas, uncle!" + +"Good afternoon!" said Scrooge. + +"And A Happy New Year!" + +"Good afternoon!" said Scrooge. + +His nephew left the room without an angry word, +notwithstanding. He stopped at the outer door to +bestow the greetings of the season on the clerk, who, +cold as he was, was warmer than Scrooge; for he returned +them cordially. + +"There's another fellow," muttered Scrooge; who +overheard him: "my clerk, with fifteen shillings a +week, and a wife and family, talking about a merry +Christmas. I'll retire to Bedlam." + +This lunatic, in letting Scrooge's nephew out, had +let two other people in. They were portly gentlemen, +pleasant to behold, and now stood, with their hats off, +in Scrooge's office. They had books and papers in +their hands, and bowed to him. + +"Scrooge and Marley's, I believe," said one of the +gentlemen, referring to his list. "Have I the pleasure +of addressing Mr. Scrooge, or Mr. Marley?" + +"Mr. Marley has been dead these seven years," +Scrooge replied. "He died seven years ago, this very +night." + +"We have no doubt his liberality is well represented +by his surviving partner," said the gentleman, presenting +his credentials. + +It certainly was; for they had been two kindred +spirits. At the ominous word "liberality," Scrooge +frowned, and shook his head, and handed the credentials +back. + +"At this festive season of the year, Mr. Scrooge," +said the gentleman, taking up a pen, "it is more than +usually desirable that we should make some slight +provision for the Poor and destitute, who suffer +greatly at the present time. Many thousands are in +want of common necessaries; hundreds of thousands +are in want of common comforts, sir." + +"Are there no prisons?" asked Scrooge. + +"Plenty of prisons," said the gentleman, laying down +the pen again. + +"And the Union workhouses?" demanded Scrooge. +"Are they still in operation?" + +"They are. Still," returned the gentleman, "I wish +I could say they were not." + +"The Treadmill and the Poor Law are in full vigour, +then?" said Scrooge. + +"Both very busy, sir." + +"Oh! I was afraid, from what you said at first, +that something had occurred to stop them in their +useful course," said Scrooge. "I'm very glad to +hear it." + +"Under the impression that they scarcely furnish +Christian cheer of mind or body to the multitude," +returned the gentleman, "a few of us are endeavouring +to raise a fund to buy the Poor some meat and drink, +and means of warmth. We choose this time, because +it is a time, of all others, when Want is keenly felt, +and Abundance rejoices. What shall I put you down +for?" + +"Nothing!" Scrooge replied. + +"You wish to be anonymous?" + +"I wish to be left alone," said Scrooge. "Since you +ask me what I wish, gentlemen, that is my answer. +I don't make merry myself at Christmas and I can't +afford to make idle people merry. I help to support +the establishments I have mentioned--they cost +enough; and those who are badly off must go there." + +"Many can't go there; and many would rather die." + +"If they would rather die," said Scrooge, "they had +better do it, and decrease the surplus population. +Besides--excuse me--I don't know that." + +"But you might know it," observed the gentleman. + +"It's not my business," Scrooge returned. "It's +enough for a man to understand his own business, and +not to interfere with other people's. Mine occupies +me constantly. Good afternoon, gentlemen!" + +Seeing clearly that it would be useless to pursue +their point, the gentlemen withdrew. Scrooge resumed +his labours with an improved opinion of himself, +and in a more facetious temper than was usual +with him. + +Meanwhile the fog and darkness thickened so, that +people ran about with flaring links, proffering their +services to go before horses in carriages, and conduct +them on their way. The ancient tower of a church, +whose gruff old bell was always peeping slily down +at Scrooge out of a Gothic window in the wall, became +invisible, and struck the hours and quarters in the +clouds, with tremulous vibrations afterwards as if +its teeth were chattering in its frozen head up there. +The cold became intense. In the main street, at the +corner of the court, some labourers were repairing +the gas-pipes, and had lighted a great fire in a brazier, +round which a party of ragged men and boys were +gathered: warming their hands and winking their +eyes before the blaze in rapture. The water-plug +being left in solitude, its overflowings sullenly congealed, +and turned to misanthropic ice. The brightness +of the shops where holly sprigs and berries +crackled in the lamp heat of the windows, made pale +faces ruddy as they passed. Poulterers' and grocers' +trades became a splendid joke: a glorious pageant, +with which it was next to impossible to believe that +such dull principles as bargain and sale had anything +to do. The Lord Mayor, in the stronghold of the +mighty Mansion House, gave orders to his fifty cooks +and butlers to keep Christmas as a Lord Mayor's +household should; and even the little tailor, whom he +had fined five shillings on the previous Monday for +being drunk and bloodthirsty in the streets, stirred up +to-morrow's pudding in his garret, while his lean +wife and the baby sallied out to buy the beef. + +Foggier yet, and colder. Piercing, searching, biting +cold. If the good Saint Dunstan had but nipped +the Evil Spirit's nose with a touch of such weather +as that, instead of using his familiar weapons, then +indeed he would have roared to lusty purpose. The +owner of one scant young nose, gnawed and mumbled +by the hungry cold as bones are gnawed by dogs, +stooped down at Scrooge's keyhole to regale him with +a Christmas carol: but at the first sound of + + "God bless you, merry gentleman! + May nothing you dismay!" + +Scrooge seized the ruler with such energy of action, +that the singer fled in terror, leaving the keyhole to +the fog and even more congenial frost. + +At length the hour of shutting up the counting-house +arrived. With an ill-will Scrooge dismounted from his +stool, and tacitly admitted the fact to the expectant +clerk in the Tank, who instantly snuffed his candle out, +and put on his hat. + +"You'll want all day to-morrow, I suppose?" said +Scrooge. + +"If quite convenient, sir." + +"It's not convenient," said Scrooge, "and it's not +fair. If I was to stop half-a-crown for it, you'd +think yourself ill-used, I'll be bound?" + +The clerk smiled faintly. + +"And yet," said Scrooge, "you don't think me ill-used, +when I pay a day's wages for no work." + +The clerk observed that it was only once a year. + +"A poor excuse for picking a man's pocket every +twenty-fifth of December!" said Scrooge, buttoning +his great-coat to the chin. "But I suppose you must +have the whole day. Be here all the earlier next +morning." + +The clerk promised that he would; and Scrooge +walked out with a growl. The office was closed in a +twinkling, and the clerk, with the long ends of his +white comforter dangling below his waist (for he +boasted no great-coat), went down a slide on Cornhill, +at the end of a lane of boys, twenty times, in +honour of its being Christmas Eve, and then ran home +to Camden Town as hard as he could pelt, to play +at blindman's-buff. + +Scrooge took his melancholy dinner in his usual +melancholy tavern; and having read all the newspapers, and +beguiled the rest of the evening with his +banker's-book, went home to bed. He lived in +chambers which had once belonged to his deceased +partner. They were a gloomy suite of rooms, in a +lowering pile of building up a yard, where it had so +little business to be, that one could scarcely help +fancying it must have run there when it was a young +house, playing at hide-and-seek with other houses, +and forgotten the way out again. It was old enough +now, and dreary enough, for nobody lived in it but +Scrooge, the other rooms being all let out as offices. +The yard was so dark that even Scrooge, who knew +its every stone, was fain to grope with his hands. +The fog and frost so hung about the black old gateway +of the house, that it seemed as if the Genius of +the Weather sat in mournful meditation on the +threshold. + +Now, it is a fact, that there was nothing at all +particular about the knocker on the door, except that it +was very large. It is also a fact, that Scrooge had +seen it, night and morning, during his whole residence +in that place; also that Scrooge had as little of what +is called fancy about him as any man in the city of +London, even including--which is a bold word--the +corporation, aldermen, and livery. Let it also be +borne in mind that Scrooge had not bestowed one +thought on Marley, since his last mention of his +seven years' dead partner that afternoon. And then +let any man explain to me, if he can, how it happened +that Scrooge, having his key in the lock of the door, +saw in the knocker, without its undergoing any intermediate +process of change--not a knocker, but Marley's face. + +Marley's face. It was not in impenetrable shadow +as the other objects in the yard were, but had a +dismal light about it, like a bad lobster in a dark +cellar. It was not angry or ferocious, but looked +at Scrooge as Marley used to look: with ghostly +spectacles turned up on its ghostly forehead. The +hair was curiously stirred, as if by breath or hot air; +and, though the eyes were wide open, they were perfectly +motionless. That, and its livid colour, made it +horrible; but its horror seemed to be in spite of the +face and beyond its control, rather than a part of +its own expression. + +As Scrooge looked fixedly at this phenomenon, it +was a knocker again. + +To say that he was not startled, or that his blood +was not conscious of a terrible sensation to which it +had been a stranger from infancy, would be untrue. +But he put his hand upon the key he had relinquished, +turned it sturdily, walked in, and lighted his candle. + +He did pause, with a moment's irresolution, before +he shut the door; and he did look cautiously behind +it first, as if he half expected to be terrified with the +sight of Marley's pigtail sticking out into the hall. +But there was nothing on the back of the door, except +the screws and nuts that held the knocker on, so he +said "Pooh, pooh!" and closed it with a bang. + +The sound resounded through the house like thunder. +Every room above, and every cask in the wine-merchant's +cellars below, appeared to have a separate peal +of echoes of its own. Scrooge was not a man to +be frightened by echoes. He fastened the door, and +walked across the hall, and up the stairs; slowly too: +trimming his candle as he went. + +You may talk vaguely about driving a coach-and-six +up a good old flight of stairs, or through a bad +young Act of Parliament; but I mean to say you +might have got a hearse up that staircase, and taken +it broadwise, with the splinter-bar towards the wall +and the door towards the balustrades: and done it +easy. There was plenty of width for that, and room +to spare; which is perhaps the reason why Scrooge +thought he saw a locomotive hearse going on before +him in the gloom. Half-a-dozen gas-lamps out of +the street wouldn't have lighted the entry too well, +so you may suppose that it was pretty dark with +Scrooge's dip. + +Up Scrooge went, not caring a button for that. +Darkness is cheap, and Scrooge liked it. But before +he shut his heavy door, he walked through his rooms +to see that all was right. He had just enough recollection +of the face to desire to do that. + +Sitting-room, bedroom, lumber-room. All as they +should be. Nobody under the table, nobody under +the sofa; a small fire in the grate; spoon and basin +ready; and the little saucepan of gruel (Scrooge had +a cold in his head) upon the hob. Nobody under the +bed; nobody in the closet; nobody in his dressing-gown, +which was hanging up in a suspicious attitude +against the wall. Lumber-room as usual. Old fire-guard, +old shoes, two fish-baskets, washing-stand on three +legs, and a poker. + +Quite satisfied, he closed his door, and locked +himself in; double-locked himself in, which was not his +custom. Thus secured against surprise, he took off +his cravat; put on his dressing-gown and slippers, and +his nightcap; and sat down before the fire to take +his gruel. + +It was a very low fire indeed; nothing on such a +bitter night. He was obliged to sit close to it, and +brood over it, before he could extract the least +sensation of warmth from such a handful of fuel. +The fireplace was an old one, built by some Dutch +merchant long ago, and paved all round with quaint +Dutch tiles, designed to illustrate the Scriptures. +There were Cains and Abels, Pharaoh's daughters; +Queens of Sheba, Angelic messengers descending +through the air on clouds like feather-beds, Abrahams, +Belshazzars, Apostles putting off to sea in butter-boats, +hundreds of figures to attract his thoughts; +and yet that face of Marley, seven years dead, came +like the ancient Prophet's rod, and swallowed up the +whole. If each smooth tile had been a blank at first, +with power to shape some picture on its surface from +the disjointed fragments of his thoughts, there would +have been a copy of old Marley's head on every one. + +"Humbug!" said Scrooge; and walked across the +room. + +After several turns, he sat down again. As he +threw his head back in the chair, his glance happened +to rest upon a bell, a disused bell, that hung in the +room, and communicated for some purpose now forgotten +with a chamber in the highest story of the +building. It was with great astonishment, and with +a strange, inexplicable dread, that as he looked, he +saw this bell begin to swing. It swung so softly in +the outset that it scarcely made a sound; but soon it +rang out loudly, and so did every bell in the house. + +This might have lasted half a minute, or a minute, +but it seemed an hour. The bells ceased as they had +begun, together. They were succeeded by a clanking +noise, deep down below; as if some person were +dragging a heavy chain over the casks in the +wine-merchant's cellar. Scrooge then remembered to have +heard that ghosts in haunted houses were described as +dragging chains. + +The cellar-door flew open with a booming sound, +and then he heard the noise much louder, on the floors +below; then coming up the stairs; then coming straight +towards his door. + +"It's humbug still!" said Scrooge. "I won't believe it." + +His colour changed though, when, without a pause, +it came on through the heavy door, and passed into +the room before his eyes. Upon its coming in, the +dying flame leaped up, as though it cried, "I know +him; Marley's Ghost!" and fell again. + +The same face: the very same. Marley in his pigtail, +usual waistcoat, tights and boots; the tassels on +the latter bristling, like his pigtail, and his coat-skirts, +and the hair upon his head. The chain he drew was +clasped about his middle. It was long, and wound +about him like a tail; and it was made (for Scrooge +observed it closely) of cash-boxes, keys, padlocks, +ledgers, deeds, and heavy purses wrought in steel. +His body was transparent; so that Scrooge, observing him, +and looking through his waistcoat, could see +the two buttons on his coat behind. + +Scrooge had often heard it said that Marley had no +bowels, but he had never believed it until now. + +No, nor did he believe it even now. Though he +looked the phantom through and through, and saw +it standing before him; though he felt the chilling +influence of its death-cold eyes; and marked the very +texture of the folded kerchief bound about its head +and chin, which wrapper he had not observed before; +he was still incredulous, and fought against his senses. + +"How now!" said Scrooge, caustic and cold as ever. +"What do you want with me?" + +"Much!"--Marley's voice, no doubt about it. + +"Who are you?" + +"Ask me who I was." + +"Who were you then?" said Scrooge, raising his +voice. "You're particular, for a shade." He was going +to say "to a shade," but substituted this, as more +appropriate. + +"In life I was your partner, Jacob Marley." + +"Can you--can you sit down?" asked Scrooge, looking +doubtfully at him. + +"I can." + +"Do it, then." + +Scrooge asked the question, because he didn't know +whether a ghost so transparent might find himself in +a condition to take a chair; and felt that in the event +of its being impossible, it might involve the necessity +of an embarrassing explanation. But the ghost sat +down on the opposite side of the fireplace, as if he +were quite used to it. + +"You don't believe in me," observed the Ghost. + +"I don't," said Scrooge. + +"What evidence would you have of my reality beyond that of +your senses?" + +"I don't know," said Scrooge. + +"Why do you doubt your senses?" + +"Because," said Scrooge, "a little thing affects them. +A slight disorder of the stomach makes them cheats. You may +be an undigested bit of beef, a blot of mustard, a crumb of +cheese, a fragment of an underdone potato. There's more of +gravy than of grave about you, whatever you are!" + +Scrooge was not much in the habit of cracking +jokes, nor did he feel, in his heart, by any means +waggish then. The truth is, that he tried to be +smart, as a means of distracting his own attention, +and keeping down his terror; for the spectre's voice +disturbed the very marrow in his bones. + +To sit, staring at those fixed glazed eyes, in silence +for a moment, would play, Scrooge felt, the very +deuce with him. There was something very awful, +too, in the spectre's being provided with an infernal +atmosphere of its own. Scrooge could not feel it +himself, but this was clearly the case; for though the +Ghost sat perfectly motionless, its hair, and skirts, +and tassels, were still agitated as by the hot vapour +from an oven. + +"You see this toothpick?" said Scrooge, returning +quickly to the charge, for the reason just assigned; +and wishing, though it were only for a second, to +divert the vision's stony gaze from himself. + +"I do," replied the Ghost. + +"You are not looking at it," said Scrooge. + +"But I see it," said the Ghost, "notwithstanding." + +"Well!" returned Scrooge, "I have but to swallow +this, and be for the rest of my days persecuted by a +legion of goblins, all of my own creation. Humbug, +I tell you! humbug!" + +At this the spirit raised a frightful cry, and shook +its chain with such a dismal and appalling noise, that +Scrooge held on tight to his chair, to save himself +from falling in a swoon. But how much greater was +his horror, when the phantom taking off the bandage +round its head, as if it were too warm to wear indoors, +its lower jaw dropped down upon its breast! + +Scrooge fell upon his knees, and clasped his hands +before his face. + +"Mercy!" he said. "Dreadful apparition, why do +you trouble me?" + +"Man of the worldly mind!" replied the Ghost, "do +you believe in me or not?" + +"I do," said Scrooge. "I must. But why do spirits +walk the earth, and why do they come to me?" + +"It is required of every man," the Ghost returned, +"that the spirit within him should walk abroad among +his fellowmen, and travel far and wide; and if that +spirit goes not forth in life, it is condemned to do so +after death. It is doomed to wander through the +world--oh, woe is me!--and witness what it cannot +share, but might have shared on earth, and turned to +happiness!" + +Again the spectre raised a cry, and shook its chain +and wrung its shadowy hands. + +"You are fettered," said Scrooge, trembling. "Tell +me why?" + +"I wear the chain I forged in life," replied the Ghost. +"I made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded +it on of my own free will, and of my own free will I +wore it. Is its pattern strange to you?" + +Scrooge trembled more and more. + +"Or would you know," pursued the Ghost, "the +weight and length of the strong coil you bear yourself? +It was full as heavy and as long as this, seven +Christmas Eves ago. You have laboured on it, since. +It is a ponderous chain!" + +Scrooge glanced about him on the floor, in the +expectation of finding himself surrounded by some fifty +or sixty fathoms of iron cable: but he could see +nothing. + +"Jacob," he said, imploringly. "Old Jacob Marley, +tell me more. Speak comfort to me, Jacob!" + +"I have none to give," the Ghost replied. "It comes +from other regions, Ebenezer Scrooge, and is conveyed +by other ministers, to other kinds of men. Nor +can I tell you what I would. A very little more is +all permitted to me. I cannot rest, I cannot stay, I +cannot linger anywhere. My spirit never walked +beyond our counting-house--mark me!--in life my +spirit never roved beyond the narrow limits of our +money-changing hole; and weary journeys lie before +me!" + +It was a habit with Scrooge, whenever he became +thoughtful, to put his hands in his breeches pockets. +Pondering on what the Ghost had said, he did so now, +but without lifting up his eyes, or getting off his +knees. + +"You must have been very slow about it, Jacob," +Scrooge observed, in a business-like manner, though +with humility and deference. + +"Slow!" the Ghost repeated. + +"Seven years dead," mused Scrooge. "And travelling +all the time!" + +"The whole time," said the Ghost. "No rest, no +peace. Incessant torture of remorse." + +"You travel fast?" said Scrooge. + +"On the wings of the wind," replied the Ghost. + +"You might have got over a great quantity of +ground in seven years," said Scrooge. + +The Ghost, on hearing this, set up another cry, and +clanked its chain so hideously in the dead silence of +the night, that the Ward would have been justified in +indicting it for a nuisance. + +"Oh! captive, bound, and double-ironed," cried the +phantom, "not to know, that ages of incessant labour +by immortal creatures, for this earth must pass into +eternity before the good of which it is susceptible is +all developed. Not to know that any Christian spirit +working kindly in its little sphere, whatever it may +be, will find its mortal life too short for its vast +means of usefulness. Not to know that no space of +regret can make amends for one life's opportunity +misused! Yet such was I! Oh! such was I!" + +"But you were always a good man of business, +Jacob," faltered Scrooge, who now began to apply this +to himself. + +"Business!" cried the Ghost, wringing its hands +again. "Mankind was my business. The common +welfare was my business; charity, mercy, forbearance, +and benevolence, were, all, my business. The dealings +of my trade were but a drop of water in the +comprehensive ocean of my business!" + +It held up its chain at arm's length, as if that were +the cause of all its unavailing grief, and flung it +heavily upon the ground again. + +"At this time of the rolling year," the spectre said, +"I suffer most. Why did I walk through crowds of +fellow-beings with my eyes turned down, and never +raise them to that blessed Star which led the Wise +Men to a poor abode! Were there no poor homes to +which its light would have conducted me!" + +Scrooge was very much dismayed to hear the +spectre going on at this rate, and began to quake +exceedingly. + +"Hear me!" cried the Ghost. "My time is nearly +gone." + +"I will," said Scrooge. "But don't be hard upon +me! Don't be flowery, Jacob! Pray!" + +"How it is that I appear before you in a shape that +you can see, I may not tell. I have sat invisible +beside you many and many a day." + +It was not an agreeable idea. Scrooge shivered, +and wiped the perspiration from his brow. + +"That is no light part of my penance," pursued +the Ghost. "I am here to-night to warn you, that you +have yet a chance and hope of escaping my fate. A +chance and hope of my procuring, Ebenezer." + +"You were always a good friend to me," said +Scrooge. "Thank'ee!" + +"You will be haunted," resumed the Ghost, "by +Three Spirits." + +Scrooge's countenance fell almost as low as the +Ghost's had done. + +"Is that the chance and hope you mentioned, +Jacob?" he demanded, in a faltering voice. + +"It is." + +"I--I think I'd rather not," said Scrooge. + +"Without their visits," said the Ghost, "you cannot +hope to shun the path I tread. Expect the first to-morrow, +when the bell tolls One." + +"Couldn't I take 'em all at once, and have it over, +Jacob?" hinted Scrooge. + +"Expect the second on the next night at the same +hour. The third upon the next night when the last +stroke of Twelve has ceased to vibrate. Look to see +me no more; and look that, for your own sake, you +remember what has passed between us!" + +When it had said these words, the spectre took its +wrapper from the table, and bound it round its head, +as before. Scrooge knew this, by the smart sound its +teeth made, when the jaws were brought together +by the bandage. He ventured to raise his eyes again, +and found his supernatural visitor confronting him +in an erect attitude, with its chain wound over and +about its arm. + +The apparition walked backward from him; and at +every step it took, the window raised itself a little, +so that when the spectre reached it, it was wide open. + +It beckoned Scrooge to approach, which he did. +When they were within two paces of each other, +Marley's Ghost held up its hand, warning him to +come no nearer. Scrooge stopped. + +Not so much in obedience, as in surprise and fear: +for on the raising of the hand, he became sensible +of confused noises in the air; incoherent sounds of +lamentation and regret; wailings inexpressibly sorrowful and +self-accusatory. The spectre, after listening for a moment, +joined in the mournful dirge; and floated out upon the +bleak, dark night. + +Scrooge followed to the window: desperate in his +curiosity. He looked out. + +The air was filled with phantoms, wandering hither +and thither in restless haste, and moaning as they +went. Every one of them wore chains like Marley's +Ghost; some few (they might be guilty governments) +were linked together; none were free. Many had +been personally known to Scrooge in their lives. He +had been quite familiar with one old ghost, in a white +waistcoat, with a monstrous iron safe attached to +its ankle, who cried piteously at being unable to assist +a wretched woman with an infant, whom it saw below, +upon a door-step. The misery with them all was, +clearly, that they sought to interfere, for good, in +human matters, and had lost the power for ever. + +Whether these creatures faded into mist, or mist +enshrouded them, he could not tell. But they and +their spirit voices faded together; and the night became +as it had been when he walked home. + +Scrooge closed the window, and examined the door +by which the Ghost had entered. It was double-locked, +as he had locked it with his own hands, and +the bolts were undisturbed. He tried to say "Humbug!" +but stopped at the first syllable. And being, +from the emotion he had undergone, or the fatigues +of the day, or his glimpse of the Invisible World, or +the dull conversation of the Ghost, or the lateness of +the hour, much in need of repose; went straight to +bed, without undressing, and fell asleep upon the +instant. + + +STAVE II: THE FIRST OF THE THREE SPIRITS + +WHEN Scrooge awoke, it was so dark, that looking out of bed, +he could scarcely distinguish the transparent window from +the opaque walls of his chamber. He was endeavouring to +pierce the darkness with his ferret eyes, when the chimes of a +neighbouring church struck the four quarters. So he listened +for the hour. + +To his great astonishment the heavy bell went on from +six to seven, and from seven to eight, and regularly up to +twelve; then stopped. Twelve! It was past two when he +went to bed. The clock was wrong. An icicle must have +got into the works. Twelve! + +He touched the spring of his repeater, to correct this most +preposterous clock. Its rapid little pulse beat twelve: +and stopped. + +"Why, it isn't possible," said Scrooge, "that I can have +slept through a whole day and far into another night. It +isn't possible that anything has happened to the sun, and +this is twelve at noon!" + +The idea being an alarming one, he scrambled out of bed, +and groped his way to the window. He was obliged to rub +the frost off with the sleeve of his dressing-gown before he +could see anything; and could see very little then. All he +could make out was, that it was still very foggy and extremely +cold, and that there was no noise of people running to and fro, +and making a great stir, as there unquestionably would have been +if night had beaten off bright day, and taken possession of the +world. This was a great relief, because "three days after sight +of this First of Exchange pay to Mr. Ebenezer Scrooge or his +order," and so forth, would have become a mere United States' +security if there were no days to count by. + +Scrooge went to bed again, and thought, and thought, and thought +it over and over and over, and could make nothing of it. The more he +thought, the more perplexed he was; and the more he endeavoured +not to think, the more he thought. + +Marley's Ghost bothered him exceedingly. Every time he resolved +within himself, after mature inquiry, that it was all a dream, his +mind flew back again, like a strong spring released, to its first +position, and presented the same problem to be worked all through, +"Was it a dream or not?" + +Scrooge lay in this state until the chime had gone three quarters +more, when he remembered, on a sudden, that the Ghost had warned +him of a visitation when the bell tolled one. He resolved to lie +awake until the hour was passed; and, considering that he could +no more go to sleep than go to Heaven, this was perhaps the +wisest resolution in his power. + +The quarter was so long, that he was more than once convinced he +must have sunk into a doze unconsciously, and missed the clock. +At length it broke upon his listening ear. + +"Ding, dong!" + +"A quarter past," said Scrooge, counting. + +"Ding, dong!" + +"Half-past!" said Scrooge. + +"Ding, dong!" + +"A quarter to it," said Scrooge. + +"Ding, dong!" + +"The hour itself," said Scrooge, triumphantly, "and nothing else!" + +He spoke before the hour bell sounded, which it now did with a +deep, dull, hollow, melancholy ONE. Light flashed up in the room +upon the instant, and the curtains of his bed were drawn. + +The curtains of his bed were drawn aside, I tell you, by a +hand. Not the curtains at his feet, nor the curtains at his +back, but those to which his face was addressed. The curtains +of his bed were drawn aside; and Scrooge, starting up into a +half-recumbent attitude, found himself face to face with the +unearthly visitor who drew them: as close to it as I am now +to you, and I am standing in the spirit at your elbow. + +It was a strange figure--like a child: yet not so like a +child as like an old man, viewed through some supernatural +medium, which gave him the appearance of having receded +from the view, and being diminished to a child's proportions. +Its hair, which hung about its neck and down its back, was +white as if with age; and yet the face had not a wrinkle in +it, and the tenderest bloom was on the skin. The arms were +very long and muscular; the hands the same, as if its hold +were of uncommon strength. Its legs and feet, most delicately +formed, were, like those upper members, bare. It wore a tunic +of the purest white; and round its waist was bound +a lustrous belt, the sheen of which was beautiful. It held +a branch of fresh green holly in its hand; and, in singular +contradiction of that wintry emblem, had its dress trimmed +with summer flowers. But the strangest thing about it was, +that from the crown of its head there sprung a bright clear +jet of light, by which all this was visible; and which was +doubtless the occasion of its using, in its duller moments, a +great extinguisher for a cap, which it now held under its arm. + +Even this, though, when Scrooge looked at it with increasing +steadiness, was not its strangest quality. For as its belt +sparkled and glittered now in one part and now in another, +and what was light one instant, at another time was dark, so +the figure itself fluctuated in its distinctness: being now a +thing with one arm, now with one leg, now with twenty legs, +now a pair of legs without a head, now a head without a +body: of which dissolving parts, no outline would be visible +in the dense gloom wherein they melted away. And in the +very wonder of this, it would be itself again; distinct and +clear as ever. + +"Are you the Spirit, sir, whose coming was foretold to +me?" asked Scrooge. + +"I am!" + +The voice was soft and gentle. Singularly low, as if +instead of being so close beside him, it were at a distance. + +"Who, and what are you?" Scrooge demanded. + +"I am the Ghost of Christmas Past." + +"Long Past?" inquired Scrooge: observant of its dwarfish +stature. + +"No. Your past." + +Perhaps, Scrooge could not have told anybody why, if +anybody could have asked him; but he had a special desire +to see the Spirit in his cap; and begged him to be covered. + +"What!" exclaimed the Ghost, "would you so soon put out, +with worldly hands, the light I give? Is it not enough +that you are one of those whose passions made this cap, and +force me through whole trains of years to wear it low upon +my brow!" + +Scrooge reverently disclaimed all intention to offend +or any knowledge of having wilfully "bonneted" the Spirit at +any period of his life. He then made bold to inquire what +business brought him there. + +"Your welfare!" said the Ghost. + +Scrooge expressed himself much obliged, but could not +help thinking that a night of unbroken rest would have been +more conducive to that end. The Spirit must have heard +him thinking, for it said immediately: + +"Your reclamation, then. Take heed!" + +It put out its strong hand as it spoke, and clasped him +gently by the arm. + +"Rise! and walk with me!" + +It would have been in vain for Scrooge to plead that the +weather and the hour were not adapted to pedestrian purposes; +that bed was warm, and the thermometer a long way below +freezing; that he was clad but lightly in his slippers, +dressing-gown, and nightcap; and that he had a cold upon him at +that time. The grasp, though gentle as a woman's hand, +was not to be resisted. He rose: but finding that the Spirit +made towards the window, clasped his robe in supplication. + +"I am a mortal," Scrooge remonstrated, "and liable to fall." + +"Bear but a touch of my hand there," said the Spirit, +laying it upon his heart, "and you shall be upheld in more +than this!" + +As the words were spoken, they passed through the wall, +and stood upon an open country road, with fields on either +hand. The city had entirely vanished. Not a vestige of it +was to be seen. The darkness and the mist had vanished +with it, for it was a clear, cold, winter day, with snow upon +the ground. + +"Good Heaven!" said Scrooge, clasping his hands together, +as he looked about him. "I was bred in this place. I was +a boy here!" + +The Spirit gazed upon him mildly. Its gentle touch, +though it had been light and instantaneous, appeared still +present to the old man's sense of feeling. He was conscious +of a thousand odours floating in the air, each one connected +with a thousand thoughts, and hopes, and joys, and cares +long, long, forgotten! + +"Your lip is trembling," said the Ghost. "And what is +that upon your cheek?" + +Scrooge muttered, with an unusual catching in his voice, +that it was a pimple; and begged the Ghost to lead him +where he would. + +"You recollect the way?" inquired the Spirit. + +"Remember it!" cried Scrooge with fervour; "I could +walk it blindfold." + +"Strange to have forgotten it for so many years!" observed +the Ghost. "Let us go on." + +They walked along the road, Scrooge recognising every +gate, and post, and tree; until a little market-town appeared +in the distance, with its bridge, its church, and winding river. +Some shaggy ponies now were seen trotting towards them +with boys upon their backs, who called to other boys in +country gigs and carts, driven by farmers. All these boys +were in great spirits, and shouted to each other, until the +broad fields were so full of merry music, that the crisp air +laughed to hear it! + +"These are but shadows of the things that have been," said +the Ghost. "They have no consciousness of us." + +The jocund travellers came on; and as they came, Scrooge +knew and named them every one. Why was he rejoiced beyond +all bounds to see them! Why did his cold eye glisten, and +his heart leap up as they went past! Why was he filled +with gladness when he heard them give each other Merry +Christmas, as they parted at cross-roads and bye-ways, for +their several homes! What was merry Christmas to Scrooge? +Out upon merry Christmas! What good had it ever done +to him? + +"The school is not quite deserted," said the Ghost. "A +solitary child, neglected by his friends, is left there still." + +Scrooge said he knew it. And he sobbed. + +They left the high-road, by a well-remembered lane, and +soon approached a mansion of dull red brick, with a little +weathercock-surmounted cupola, on the roof, and a bell +hanging in it. It was a large house, but one of broken +fortunes; for the spacious offices were little used, their walls +were damp and mossy, their windows broken, and their +gates decayed. Fowls clucked and strutted in the stables; +and the coach-houses and sheds were over-run with grass. +Nor was it more retentive of its ancient state, within; for +entering the dreary hall, and glancing through the open +doors of many rooms, they found them poorly furnished, +cold, and vast. There was an earthy savour in the air, a +chilly bareness in the place, which associated itself somehow +with too much getting up by candle-light, and not too +much to eat. + +They went, the Ghost and Scrooge, across the hall, to a +door at the back of the house. It opened before them, and +disclosed a long, bare, melancholy room, made barer still by +lines of plain deal forms and desks. At one of these a lonely +boy was reading near a feeble fire; and Scrooge sat down +upon a form, and wept to see his poor forgotten self as he +used to be. + +Not a latent echo in the house, not a squeak and scuffle +from the mice behind the panelling, not a drip from the +half-thawed water-spout in the dull yard behind, not a sigh among +the leafless boughs of one despondent poplar, not the idle +swinging of an empty store-house door, no, not a clicking in +the fire, but fell upon the heart of Scrooge with a softening +influence, and gave a freer passage to his tears. + +The Spirit touched him on the arm, and pointed to his +younger self, intent upon his reading. Suddenly a man, in +foreign garments: wonderfully real and distinct to look at: +stood outside the window, with an axe stuck in his belt, and +leading by the bridle an ass laden with wood. + +"Why, it's Ali Baba!" Scrooge exclaimed in ecstasy. "It's +dear old honest Ali Baba! Yes, yes, I know! One Christmas +time, when yonder solitary child was left here all alone, +he did come, for the first time, just like that. Poor boy! And +Valentine," said Scrooge, "and his wild brother, Orson; there +they go! And what's his name, who was put down in his +drawers, asleep, at the Gate of Damascus; don't you see him! +And the Sultan's Groom turned upside down by the Genii; +there he is upon his head! Serve him right. I'm glad of it. +What business had he to be married to the Princess!" + +To hear Scrooge expending all the earnestness of his nature +on such subjects, in a most extraordinary voice between +laughing and crying; and to see his heightened and excited +face; would have been a surprise to his business friends in +the city, indeed. + +"There's the Parrot!" cried Scrooge. "Green body and +yellow tail, with a thing like a lettuce growing out of the +top of his head; there he is! Poor Robin Crusoe, he called +him, when he came home again after sailing round the +island. 'Poor Robin Crusoe, where have you been, Robin +Crusoe?' The man thought he was dreaming, but he wasn't. +It was the Parrot, you know. There goes Friday, running +for his life to the little creek! Halloa! Hoop! Halloo!" + +Then, with a rapidity of transition very foreign to his +usual character, he said, in pity for his former self, "Poor +boy!" and cried again. + +"I wish," Scrooge muttered, putting his hand in his +pocket, and looking about him, after drying his eyes with his +cuff: "but it's too late now." + +"What is the matter?" asked the Spirit. + +"Nothing," said Scrooge. "Nothing. There was a boy +singing a Christmas Carol at my door last night. I should +like to have given him something: that's all." + +The Ghost smiled thoughtfully, and waved its hand: +saying as it did so, "Let us see another Christmas!" + +Scrooge's former self grew larger at the words, and the +room became a little darker and more dirty. The panels shrunk, +the windows cracked; fragments of plaster fell out of the +ceiling, and the naked laths were shown instead; but how +all this was brought about, Scrooge knew no more than you +do. He only knew that it was quite correct; that everything +had happened so; that there he was, alone again, when all +the other boys had gone home for the jolly holidays. + +He was not reading now, but walking up and down despairingly. +Scrooge looked at the Ghost, and with a mournful shaking of +his head, glanced anxiously towards the door. + +It opened; and a little girl, much younger than the boy, +came darting in, and putting her arms about his neck, and +often kissing him, addressed him as her "Dear, dear +brother." + +"I have come to bring you home, dear brother!" said the +child, clapping her tiny hands, and bending down to laugh. +"To bring you home, home, home!" + +"Home, little Fan?" returned the boy. + +"Yes!" said the child, brimful of glee. "Home, for good +and all. Home, for ever and ever. Father is so much kinder +than he used to be, that home's like Heaven! He spoke so +gently to me one dear night when I was going to bed, that +I was not afraid to ask him once more if you might come +home; and he said Yes, you should; and sent me in a coach +to bring you. And you're to be a man!" said the child, +opening her eyes, "and are never to come back here; but +first, we're to be together all the Christmas long, and have +the merriest time in all the world." + +"You are quite a woman, little Fan!" exclaimed the boy. + +She clapped her hands and laughed, and tried to touch his +head; but being too little, laughed again, and stood on +tiptoe to embrace him. Then she began to drag him, in her +childish eagerness, towards the door; and he, nothing loth to +go, accompanied her. + +A terrible voice in the hall cried, "Bring down Master +Scrooge's box, there!" and in the hall appeared the schoolmaster +himself, who glared on Master Scrooge with a ferocious +condescension, and threw him into a dreadful state of mind +by shaking hands with him. He then conveyed him and his +sister into the veriest old well of a shivering best-parlour that +ever was seen, where the maps upon the wall, and the celestial +and terrestrial globes in the windows, were waxy with cold. +Here he produced a decanter of curiously light wine, and a +block of curiously heavy cake, and administered instalments +of those dainties to the young people: at the same time, +sending out a meagre servant to offer a glass of "something" +to the postboy, who answered that he thanked the gentleman, +but if it was the same tap as he had tasted before, he had +rather not. Master Scrooge's trunk being by this time tied +on to the top of the chaise, the children bade the schoolmaster +good-bye right willingly; and getting into it, drove +gaily down the garden-sweep: the quick wheels dashing the +hoar-frost and snow from off the dark leaves of the evergreens +like spray. + +"Always a delicate creature, whom a breath might have +withered," said the Ghost. "But she had a large heart!" + +"So she had," cried Scrooge. "You're right. I will not +gainsay it, Spirit. God forbid!" + +"She died a woman," said the Ghost, "and had, as I think, +children." + +"One child," Scrooge returned. + +"True," said the Ghost. "Your nephew!" + +Scrooge seemed uneasy in his mind; and answered briefly, +"Yes." + +Although they had but that moment left the school behind +them, they were now in the busy thoroughfares of a city, +where shadowy passengers passed and repassed; where shadowy +carts and coaches battled for the way, and all the strife and +tumult of a real city were. It was made plain enough, by +the dressing of the shops, that here too it was Christmas +time again; but it was evening, and the streets were +lighted up. + +The Ghost stopped at a certain warehouse door, and asked +Scrooge if he knew it. + +"Know it!" said Scrooge. "Was I apprenticed here!" + +They went in. At sight of an old gentleman in a Welsh +wig, sitting behind such a high desk, that if he had been two +inches taller he must have knocked his head against the +ceiling, Scrooge cried in great excitement: + +"Why, it's old Fezziwig! Bless his heart; it's Fezziwig +alive again!" + +Old Fezziwig laid down his pen, and looked up at the +clock, which pointed to the hour of seven. He rubbed his +hands; adjusted his capacious waistcoat; laughed all over +himself, from his shoes to his organ of benevolence; and +called out in a comfortable, oily, rich, fat, jovial voice: + +"Yo ho, there! Ebenezer! Dick!" + +Scrooge's former self, now grown a young man, came briskly +in, accompanied by his fellow-'prentice. + +"Dick Wilkins, to be sure!" said Scrooge to the Ghost. +"Bless me, yes. There he is. He was very much attached +to me, was Dick. Poor Dick! Dear, dear!" + +"Yo ho, my boys!" said Fezziwig. "No more work to-night. +Christmas Eve, Dick. Christmas, Ebenezer! Let's +have the shutters up," cried old Fezziwig, with a sharp clap +of his hands, "before a man can say Jack Robinson!" + +You wouldn't believe how those two fellows went at it! +They charged into the street with the shutters--one, two, +three--had 'em up in their places--four, five, six--barred +'em and pinned 'em--seven, eight, nine--and came back +before you could have got to twelve, panting like race-horses. + +"Hilli-ho!" cried old Fezziwig, skipping down from the +high desk, with wonderful agility. "Clear away, my lads, +and let's have lots of room here! Hilli-ho, Dick! Chirrup, +Ebenezer!" + +Clear away! There was nothing they wouldn't have cleared +away, or couldn't have cleared away, with old Fezziwig looking +on. It was done in a minute. Every movable was packed off, as if +it were dismissed from public life for evermore; the floor was +swept and watered, the lamps were trimmed, fuel was heaped upon +the fire; and the warehouse was as snug, and warm, and dry, and +bright a ball-room, as you would desire to see upon a winter's +night. + +In came a fiddler with a music-book, and went up to the +lofty desk, and made an orchestra of it, and tuned like fifty +stomach-aches. In came Mrs. Fezziwig, one vast substantial +smile. In came the three Miss Fezziwigs, beaming and +lovable. In came the six young followers whose hearts they +broke. In came all the young men and women employed in +the business. In came the housemaid, with her cousin, the +baker. In came the cook, with her brother's particular friend, +the milkman. In came the boy from over the way, who was +suspected of not having board enough from his master; trying +to hide himself behind the girl from next door but one, who +was proved to have had her ears pulled by her mistress. +In they all came, one after another; some shyly, some boldly, +some gracefully, some awkwardly, some pushing, some pulling; +in they all came, anyhow and everyhow. Away they all went, +twenty couple at once; hands half round and back again +the other way; down the middle and up again; round +and round in various stages of affectionate grouping; old +top couple always turning up in the wrong place; new top +couple starting off again, as soon as they got there; all top +couples at last, and not a bottom one to help them! When +this result was brought about, old Fezziwig, clapping his +hands to stop the dance, cried out, "Well done!" and the +fiddler plunged his hot face into a pot of porter, especially +provided for that purpose. But scorning rest, upon his +reappearance, he instantly began again, though there were no +dancers yet, as if the other fiddler had been carried home, +exhausted, on a shutter, and he were a bran-new man +resolved to beat him out of sight, or perish. + +There were more dances, and there were forfeits, and more +dances, and there was cake, and there was negus, and there +was a great piece of Cold Roast, and there was a great piece +of Cold Boiled, and there were mince-pies, and plenty of beer. +But the great effect of the evening came after the Roast +and Boiled, when the fiddler (an artful dog, mind! The sort +of man who knew his business better than you or I could +have told it him!) struck up "Sir Roger de Coverley." Then +old Fezziwig stood out to dance with Mrs. Fezziwig. Top +couple, too; with a good stiff piece of work cut out for them; +three or four and twenty pair of partners; people who were +not to be trifled with; people who would dance, and had no +notion of walking. + +But if they had been twice as many--ah, four times--old +Fezziwig would have been a match for them, and so would +Mrs. Fezziwig. As to her, she was worthy to be his partner +in every sense of the term. If that's not high praise, tell me +higher, and I'll use it. A positive light appeared to issue +from Fezziwig's calves. They shone in every part of the +dance like moons. You couldn't have predicted, at any given +time, what would have become of them next. And when old +Fezziwig and Mrs. Fezziwig had gone all through the dance; +advance and retire, both hands to your partner, bow and +curtsey, corkscrew, thread-the-needle, and back again to +your place; Fezziwig "cut"--cut so deftly, that he appeared +to wink with his legs, and came upon his feet again without +a stagger. + +When the clock struck eleven, this domestic ball broke up. +Mr. and Mrs. Fezziwig took their stations, one on either side +of the door, and shaking hands with every person individually +as he or she went out, wished him or her a Merry Christmas. +When everybody had retired but the two 'prentices, they did +the same to them; and thus the cheerful voices died away, +and the lads were left to their beds; which were under a +counter in the back-shop. + +During the whole of this time, Scrooge had acted like a +man out of his wits. His heart and soul were in the scene, +and with his former self. He corroborated everything, +remembered everything, enjoyed everything, and underwent +the strangest agitation. It was not until now, when the +bright faces of his former self and Dick were turned from +them, that he remembered the Ghost, and became conscious +that it was looking full upon him, while the light upon its +head burnt very clear. + +"A small matter," said the Ghost, "to make these silly +folks so full of gratitude." + +"Small!" echoed Scrooge. + +The Spirit signed to him to listen to the two apprentices, +who were pouring out their hearts in praise of Fezziwig: +and when he had done so, said, + +"Why! Is it not? He has spent but a few pounds of +your mortal money: three or four perhaps. Is that so +much that he deserves this praise?" + +"It isn't that," said Scrooge, heated by the remark, and +speaking unconsciously like his former, not his latter, self. +"It isn't that, Spirit. He has the power to render us happy +or unhappy; to make our service light or burdensome; a +pleasure or a toil. Say that his power lies in words and +looks; in things so slight and insignificant that it is +impossible to add and count 'em up: what then? The happiness +he gives, is quite as great as if it cost a fortune." + +He felt the Spirit's glance, and stopped. + +"What is the matter?" asked the Ghost. + +"Nothing particular," said Scrooge. + +"Something, I think?" the Ghost insisted. + +"No," said Scrooge, "No. I should like to be able to say +a word or two to my clerk just now. That's all." + +His former self turned down the lamps as he gave utterance +to the wish; and Scrooge and the Ghost again stood side by +side in the open air. + +"My time grows short," observed the Spirit. "Quick!" + +This was not addressed to Scrooge, or to any one whom he +could see, but it produced an immediate effect. For again +Scrooge saw himself. He was older now; a man in the prime +of life. His face had not the harsh and rigid lines of later +years; but it had begun to wear the signs of care and avarice. +There was an eager, greedy, restless motion in the eye, which +showed the passion that had taken root, and where the +shadow of the growing tree would fall. + +He was not alone, but sat by the side of a fair young +girl in a mourning-dress: in whose eyes there were tears, +which sparkled in the light that shone out of the Ghost of +Christmas Past. + +"It matters little," she said, softly. "To you, very little. +Another idol has displaced me; and if it can cheer and comfort +you in time to come, as I would have tried to do, I have +no just cause to grieve." + +"What Idol has displaced you?" he rejoined. + +"A golden one." + +"This is the even-handed dealing of the world!" he said. +"There is nothing on which it is so hard as poverty; and +there is nothing it professes to condemn with such severity +as the pursuit of wealth!" + +"You fear the world too much," she answered, gently. +"All your other hopes have merged into the hope of being +beyond the chance of its sordid reproach. I have seen your +nobler aspirations fall off one by one, until the master-passion, +Gain, engrosses you. Have I not?" + +"What then?" he retorted. "Even if I have grown so +much wiser, what then? I am not changed towards you." + +She shook her head. + +"Am I?" + +"Our contract is an old one. It was made when we were +both poor and content to be so, until, in good season, we could +improve our worldly fortune by our patient industry. You +are changed. When it was made, you were another man." + +"I was a boy," he said impatiently. + +"Your own feeling tells you that you were not what you +are," she returned. "I am. That which promised happiness +when we were one in heart, is fraught with misery now that +we are two. How often and how keenly I have thought of +this, I will not say. It is enough that I have thought of it, +and can release you." + +"Have I ever sought release?" + +"In words. No. Never." + +"In what, then?" + +"In a changed nature; in an altered spirit; in another +atmosphere of life; another Hope as its great end. In +everything that made my love of any worth or value in your +sight. If this had never been between us," said the girl, +looking mildly, but with steadiness, upon him; "tell me, +would you seek me out and try to win me now? Ah, no!" + +He seemed to yield to the justice of this supposition, in +spite of himself. But he said with a struggle, "You think +not." + +"I would gladly think otherwise if I could," she answered, +"Heaven knows! When I have learned a Truth like this, +I know how strong and irresistible it must be. But if you +were free to-day, to-morrow, yesterday, can even I believe +that you would choose a dowerless girl--you who, in your +very confidence with her, weigh everything by Gain: or, +choosing her, if for a moment you were false enough to your +one guiding principle to do so, do I not know that your +repentance and regret would surely follow? I do; and I +release you. With a full heart, for the love of him you +once were." + +He was about to speak; but with her head turned from +him, she resumed. + +"You may--the memory of what is past half makes me +hope you will--have pain in this. A very, very brief time, +and you will dismiss the recollection of it, gladly, as an +unprofitable dream, from which it happened well that you +awoke. May you be happy in the life you have chosen!" + +She left him, and they parted. + +"Spirit!" said Scrooge, "show me no more! Conduct +me home. Why do you delight to torture me?" + +"One shadow more!" exclaimed the Ghost. + +"No more!" cried Scrooge. "No more. I don't wish to +see it. Show me no more!" + +But the relentless Ghost pinioned him in both his arms, +and forced him to observe what happened next. + +They were in another scene and place; a room, not very +large or handsome, but full of comfort. Near to the winter +fire sat a beautiful young girl, so like that last that Scrooge +believed it was the same, until he saw her, now a comely +matron, sitting opposite her daughter. The noise in this +room was perfectly tumultuous, for there were more children +there, than Scrooge in his agitated state of mind could count; +and, unlike the celebrated herd in the poem, they were not +forty children conducting themselves like one, but every +child was conducting itself like forty. The consequences +were uproarious beyond belief; but no one seemed to care; +on the contrary, the mother and daughter laughed heartily, +and enjoyed it very much; and the latter, soon beginning to +mingle in the sports, got pillaged by the young brigands +most ruthlessly. What would I not have given to be one of +them! Though I never could have been so rude, no, no! I +wouldn't for the wealth of all the world have crushed that +braided hair, and torn it down; and for the precious little +shoe, I wouldn't have plucked it off, God bless my soul! to +save my life. As to measuring her waist in sport, as they +did, bold young brood, I couldn't have done it; I should +have expected my arm to have grown round it for a punishment, +and never come straight again. And yet I should +have dearly liked, I own, to have touched her lips; to have +questioned her, that she might have opened them; to have +looked upon the lashes of her downcast eyes, and never +raised a blush; to have let loose waves of hair, an inch of +which would be a keepsake beyond price: in short, I should +have liked, I do confess, to have had the lightest licence +of a child, and yet to have been man enough to know its +value. + +But now a knocking at the door was heard, and such a +rush immediately ensued that she with laughing face and +plundered dress was borne towards it the centre of a flushed +and boisterous group, just in time to greet the father, who +came home attended by a man laden with Christmas toys +and presents. Then the shouting and the struggling, and +the onslaught that was made on the defenceless porter! +The scaling him with chairs for ladders to dive into his +pockets, despoil him of brown-paper parcels, hold on tight +by his cravat, hug him round his neck, pommel his back, +and kick his legs in irrepressible affection! The shouts of +wonder and delight with which the development of every +package was received! The terrible announcement that the +baby had been taken in the act of putting a doll's frying-pan +into his mouth, and was more than suspected of having +swallowed a fictitious turkey, glued on a wooden platter! +The immense relief of finding this a false alarm! The joy, +and gratitude, and ecstasy! They are all indescribable alike. +It is enough that by degrees the children and their emotions +got out of the parlour, and by one stair at a time, up to the +top of the house; where they went to bed, and so subsided. + +And now Scrooge looked on more attentively than ever, +when the master of the house, having his daughter leaning +fondly on him, sat down with her and her mother at his +own fireside; and when he thought that such another +creature, quite as graceful and as full of promise, might +have called him father, and been a spring-time in the +haggard winter of his life, his sight grew very dim indeed. + +"Belle," said the husband, turning to his wife with a +smile, "I saw an old friend of yours this afternoon." + +"Who was it?" + +"Guess!" + +"How can I? Tut, don't I know?" she added in the +same breath, laughing as he laughed. "Mr. Scrooge." + +"Mr. Scrooge it was. I passed his office window; and as +it was not shut up, and he had a candle inside, I could +scarcely help seeing him. His partner lies upon the point +of death, I hear; and there he sat alone. Quite alone in +the world, I do believe." + +"Spirit!" said Scrooge in a broken voice, "remove me +from this place." + +"I told you these were shadows of the things that have +been," said the Ghost. "That they are what they are, do +not blame me!" + +"Remove me!" Scrooge exclaimed, "I cannot bear it!" + +He turned upon the Ghost, and seeing that it looked upon +him with a face, in which in some strange way there were +fragments of all the faces it had shown him, wrestled with it. + +"Leave me! Take me back. Haunt me no longer!" + +In the struggle, if that can be called a struggle in which +the Ghost with no visible resistance on its own part was +undisturbed by any effort of its adversary, Scrooge observed +that its light was burning high and bright; and dimly +connecting that with its influence over him, he seized the +extinguisher-cap, and by a sudden action pressed it down +upon its head. + +The Spirit dropped beneath it, so that the extinguisher +covered its whole form; but though Scrooge pressed it down +with all his force, he could not hide the light: which streamed +from under it, in an unbroken flood upon the ground. + +He was conscious of being exhausted, and overcome by an +irresistible drowsiness; and, further, of being in his own +bedroom. He gave the cap a parting squeeze, in which his hand +relaxed; and had barely time to reel to bed, before he sank +into a heavy sleep. + + +STAVE III: THE SECOND OF THE THREE SPIRITS + +AWAKING in the middle of a prodigiously tough snore, and +sitting up in bed to get his thoughts together, Scrooge had +no occasion to be told that the bell was again upon the +stroke of One. He felt that he was restored to consciousness +in the right nick of time, for the especial purpose of holding +a conference with the second messenger despatched to him +through Jacob Marley's intervention. But finding that he +turned uncomfortably cold when he began to wonder which +of his curtains this new spectre would draw back, he put +them every one aside with his own hands; and lying down +again, established a sharp look-out all round the bed. For +he wished to challenge the Spirit on the moment of its +appearance, and did not wish to be taken by surprise, and +made nervous. + +Gentlemen of the free-and-easy sort, who plume themselves +on being acquainted with a move or two, and being usually +equal to the time-of-day, express the wide range of their +capacity for adventure by observing that they are good for +anything from pitch-and-toss to manslaughter; between which +opposite extremes, no doubt, there lies a tolerably wide and +comprehensive range of subjects. Without venturing for +Scrooge quite as hardily as this, I don't mind calling on you +to believe that he was ready for a good broad field of +strange appearances, and that nothing between a baby and +rhinoceros would have astonished him very much. + +Now, being prepared for almost anything, he was not by +any means prepared for nothing; and, consequently, when the +Bell struck One, and no shape appeared, he was taken with a +violent fit of trembling. Five minutes, ten minutes, a quarter +of an hour went by, yet nothing came. All this time, he lay +upon his bed, the very core and centre of a blaze of ruddy +light, which streamed upon it when the clock proclaimed the +hour; and which, being only light, was more alarming than +a dozen ghosts, as he was powerless to make out what it +meant, or would be at; and was sometimes apprehensive +that he might be at that very moment an interesting case of +spontaneous combustion, without having the consolation of +knowing it. At last, however, he began to think--as you or +I would have thought at first; for it is always the person not +in the predicament who knows what ought to have been done +in it, and would unquestionably have done it too--at last, I +say, he began to think that the source and secret of this +ghostly light might be in the adjoining room, from whence, +on further tracing it, it seemed to shine. This idea taking +full possession of his mind, he got up softly and shuffled in +his slippers to the door. + +The moment Scrooge's hand was on the lock, a strange +voice called him by his name, and bade him enter. He +obeyed. + +It was his own room. There was no doubt about that. +But it had undergone a surprising transformation. The walls +and ceiling were so hung with living green, that it looked a +perfect grove; from every part of which, bright gleaming +berries glistened. The crisp leaves of holly, mistletoe, and +ivy reflected back the light, as if so many little mirrors had +been scattered there; and such a mighty blaze went roaring +up the chimney, as that dull petrification of a hearth had +never known in Scrooge's time, or Marley's, or for many and +many a winter season gone. Heaped up on the floor, to form +a kind of throne, were turkeys, geese, game, poultry, brawn, +great joints of meat, sucking-pigs, long wreaths of sausages, +mince-pies, plum-puddings, barrels of oysters, red-hot chestnuts, +cherry-cheeked apples, juicy oranges, luscious pears, +immense twelfth-cakes, and seething bowls of punch, that +made the chamber dim with their delicious steam. In easy +state upon this couch, there sat a jolly Giant, glorious to +see; who bore a glowing torch, in shape not unlike Plenty's +horn, and held it up, high up, to shed its light on Scrooge, +as he came peeping round the door. + +"Come in!" exclaimed the Ghost. "Come in! and know +me better, man!" + +Scrooge entered timidly, and hung his head before this +Spirit. He was not the dogged Scrooge he had been; and +though the Spirit's eyes were clear and kind, he did not like +to meet them. + +"I am the Ghost of Christmas Present," said the Spirit. +"Look upon me!" + +Scrooge reverently did so. It was clothed in one simple +green robe, or mantle, bordered with white fur. This garment +hung so loosely on the figure, that its capacious breast was +bare, as if disdaining to be warded or concealed by any +artifice. Its feet, observable beneath the ample folds of the +garment, were also bare; and on its head it wore no other +covering than a holly wreath, set here and there with shining +icicles. Its dark brown curls were long and free; free as its +genial face, its sparkling eye, its open hand, its cheery voice, +its unconstrained demeanour, and its joyful air. Girded +round its middle was an antique scabbard; but no sword +was in it, and the ancient sheath was eaten up with rust. + +"You have never seen the like of me before!" exclaimed +the Spirit. + +"Never," Scrooge made answer to it. + +"Have never walked forth with the younger members of +my family; meaning (for I am very young) my elder brothers +born in these later years?" pursued the Phantom. + +"I don't think I have," said Scrooge. "I am afraid I have +not. Have you had many brothers, Spirit?" + +"More than eighteen hundred," said the Ghost. + +"A tremendous family to provide for!" muttered Scrooge. + +The Ghost of Christmas Present rose. + +"Spirit," said Scrooge submissively, "conduct me where +you will. I went forth last night on compulsion, and I learnt +a lesson which is working now. To-night, if you have aught +to teach me, let me profit by it." + +"Touch my robe!" + +Scrooge did as he was told, and held it fast. + +Holly, mistletoe, red berries, ivy, turkeys, geese, game, +poultry, brawn, meat, pigs, sausages, oysters, pies, puddings, +fruit, and punch, all vanished instantly. So did the room, +the fire, the ruddy glow, the hour of night, and they stood +in the city streets on Christmas morning, where (for the +weather was severe) the people made a rough, but brisk and +not unpleasant kind of music, in scraping the snow from the +pavement in front of their dwellings, and from the tops of +their houses, whence it was mad delight to the boys to see +it come plumping down into the road below, and splitting +into artificial little snow-storms. + +The house fronts looked black enough, and the windows +blacker, contrasting with the smooth white sheet of snow +upon the roofs, and with the dirtier snow upon the ground; +which last deposit had been ploughed up in deep furrows by +the heavy wheels of carts and waggons; furrows that crossed +and re-crossed each other hundreds of times where the great +streets branched off; and made intricate channels, hard to trace +in the thick yellow mud and icy water. The sky was gloomy, +and the shortest streets were choked up with a dingy mist, +half thawed, half frozen, whose heavier particles descended +in a shower of sooty atoms, as if all the chimneys in Great +Britain had, by one consent, caught fire, and were blazing away +to their dear hearts' content. There was nothing very cheerful +in the climate or the town, and yet was there an air of +cheerfulness abroad that the clearest summer air and brightest +summer sun might have endeavoured to diffuse in vain. + +For, the people who were shovelling away on the housetops +were jovial and full of glee; calling out to one another +from the parapets, and now and then exchanging a facetious +snowball--better-natured missile far than many a wordy jest-- +laughing heartily if it went right and not less heartily if it +went wrong. The poulterers' shops were still half open, and the +fruiterers' were radiant in their glory. There were great, round, +pot-bellied baskets of chestnuts, shaped like the waistcoats +of jolly old gentlemen, lolling at the doors, and tumbling out +into the street in their apoplectic opulence. There were +ruddy, brown-faced, broad-girthed Spanish Onions, shining in +the fatness of their growth like Spanish Friars, and winking +from their shelves in wanton slyness at the girls as they went +by, and glanced demurely at the hung-up mistletoe. There were +pears and apples, clustered high in blooming pyramids; there +were bunches of grapes, made, in the shopkeepers' benevolence +to dangle from conspicuous hooks, that people's mouths might +water gratis as they passed; there were piles of filberts, mossy +and brown, recalling, in their fragrance, ancient walks among +the woods, and pleasant shufflings ankle deep through withered +leaves; there were Norfolk Biffins, squat and swarthy, setting +off the yellow of the oranges and lemons, and, in the great +compactness of their juicy persons, urgently entreating and +beseeching to be carried home in paper bags and eaten after +dinner. The very gold and silver fish, set forth among +these choice fruits in a bowl, though members of a dull and +stagnant-blooded race, appeared to know that there was +something going on; and, to a fish, went gasping round and +round their little world in slow and passionless excitement. + +The Grocers'! oh, the Grocers'! nearly closed, with perhaps +two shutters down, or one; but through those gaps such +glimpses! It was not alone that the scales descending on the +counter made a merry sound, or that the twine and roller +parted company so briskly, or that the canisters were rattled +up and down like juggling tricks, or even that the blended +scents of tea and coffee were so grateful to the nose, or even +that the raisins were so plentiful and rare, the almonds so +extremely white, the sticks of cinnamon so long and straight, +the other spices so delicious, the candied fruits so caked and +spotted with molten sugar as to make the coldest lookers-on +feel faint and subsequently bilious. Nor was it that the figs +were moist and pulpy, or that the French plums blushed in +modest tartness from their highly-decorated boxes, or that +everything was good to eat and in its Christmas dress; but +the customers were all so hurried and so eager in the hopeful +promise of the day, that they tumbled up against each other +at the door, crashing their wicker baskets wildly, and left +their purchases upon the counter, and came running back to +fetch them, and committed hundreds of the like mistakes, in +the best humour possible; while the Grocer and his people +were so frank and fresh that the polished hearts with which +they fastened their aprons behind might have been their own, +worn outside for general inspection, and for Christmas daws +to peck at if they chose. + +But soon the steeples called good people all, to church and +chapel, and away they came, flocking through the streets in +their best clothes, and with their gayest faces. And at the +same time there emerged from scores of bye-streets, lanes, and +nameless turnings, innumerable people, carrying their dinners +to the bakers' shops. The sight of these poor revellers +appeared to interest the Spirit very much, for he stood with +Scrooge beside him in a baker's doorway, and taking off the +covers as their bearers passed, sprinkled incense on their +dinners from his torch. And it was a very uncommon kind +of torch, for once or twice when there were angry words +between some dinner-carriers who had jostled each other, he +shed a few drops of water on them from it, and their good +humour was restored directly. For they said, it was a shame +to quarrel upon Christmas Day. And so it was! God love +it, so it was! + +In time the bells ceased, and the bakers were shut up; and +yet there was a genial shadowing forth of all these dinners +and the progress of their cooking, in the thawed blotch of +wet above each baker's oven; where the pavement smoked as +if its stones were cooking too. + +"Is there a peculiar flavour in what you sprinkle from +your torch?" asked Scrooge. + +"There is. My own." + +"Would it apply to any kind of dinner on this day?" +asked Scrooge. + +"To any kindly given. To a poor one most." + +"Why to a poor one most?" asked Scrooge. + +"Because it needs it most." + +"Spirit," said Scrooge, after a moment's thought, "I wonder +you, of all the beings in the many worlds about us, should +desire to cramp these people's opportunities of innocent +enjoyment." + +"I!" cried the Spirit. + +"You would deprive them of their means of dining every +seventh day, often the only day on which they can be said +to dine at all," said Scrooge. "Wouldn't you?" + +"I!" cried the Spirit. + +"You seek to close these places on the Seventh Day?" said +Scrooge. "And it comes to the same thing." + +"I seek!" exclaimed the Spirit. + +"Forgive me if I am wrong. It has been done in your +name, or at least in that of your family," said Scrooge. + +"There are some upon this earth of yours," returned the Spirit, +"who lay claim to know us, and who do their deeds of passion, +pride, ill-will, hatred, envy, bigotry, and selfishness +in our name, who are as strange to us and all our kith and +kin, as if they had never lived. Remember that, and charge +their doings on themselves, not us." + +Scrooge promised that he would; and they went on, +invisible, as they had been before, into the suburbs of the +town. It was a remarkable quality of the Ghost (which +Scrooge had observed at the baker's), that notwithstanding +his gigantic size, he could accommodate himself to any place +with ease; and that he stood beneath a low roof quite as +gracefully and like a supernatural creature, as it was possible +he could have done in any lofty hall. + +And perhaps it was the pleasure the good Spirit had in +showing off this power of his, or else it was his own kind, +generous, hearty nature, and his sympathy with all poor +men, that led him straight to Scrooge's clerk's; for there he +went, and took Scrooge with him, holding to his robe; and +on the threshold of the door the Spirit smiled, and stopped +to bless Bob Cratchit's dwelling with the sprinkling of his +torch. Think of that! Bob had but fifteen "Bob" a-week +himself; he pocketed on Saturdays but fifteen copies of his +Christian name; and yet the Ghost of Christmas Present +blessed his four-roomed house! + +Then up rose Mrs. Cratchit, Cratchit's wife, dressed out +but poorly in a twice-turned gown, but brave in ribbons, +which are cheap and make a goodly show for sixpence; and +she laid the cloth, assisted by Belinda Cratchit, second of +her daughters, also brave in ribbons; while Master Peter +Cratchit plunged a fork into the saucepan of potatoes, and +getting the corners of his monstrous shirt collar (Bob's private +property, conferred upon his son and heir in honour of the +day) into his mouth, rejoiced to find himself so gallantly +attired, and yearned to show his linen in the fashionable Parks. +And now two smaller Cratchits, boy and girl, came tearing +in, screaming that outside the baker's they had smelt the +goose, and known it for their own; and basking in luxurious +thoughts of sage and onion, these young Cratchits danced +about the table, and exalted Master Peter Cratchit to the +skies, while he (not proud, although his collars nearly choked +him) blew the fire, until the slow potatoes bubbling up, +knocked loudly at the saucepan-lid to be let out and +peeled. + +"What has ever got your precious father then?" said Mrs. +Cratchit. "And your brother, Tiny Tim! And Martha +warn't as late last Christmas Day by half-an-hour?" + +"Here's Martha, mother!" said a girl, appearing as she +spoke. + +"Here's Martha, mother!" cried the two young Cratchits. +"Hurrah! There's such a goose, Martha!" + +"Why, bless your heart alive, my dear, how late you are!" +said Mrs. Cratchit, kissing her a dozen times, and taking off +her shawl and bonnet for her with officious zeal. + +"We'd a deal of work to finish up last night," replied the +girl, "and had to clear away this morning, mother!" + +"Well! Never mind so long as you are come," said Mrs. +Cratchit. "Sit ye down before the fire, my dear, and have +a warm, Lord bless ye!" + +"No, no! There's father coming," cried the two young +Cratchits, who were everywhere at once. "Hide, Martha, +hide!" + +So Martha hid herself, and in came little Bob, the father, +with at least three feet of comforter exclusive of the fringe, +hanging down before him; and his threadbare clothes darned +up and brushed, to look seasonable; and Tiny Tim upon his +shoulder. Alas for Tiny Tim, he bore a little crutch, and +had his limbs supported by an iron frame! + +"Why, where's our Martha?" cried Bob Cratchit, looking +round. + +"Not coming," said Mrs. Cratchit. + +"Not coming!" said Bob, with a sudden declension in his +high spirits; for he had been Tim's blood horse all the way +from church, and had come home rampant. "Not coming +upon Christmas Day!" + +Martha didn't like to see him disappointed, if it were only +in joke; so she came out prematurely from behind the closet +door, and ran into his arms, while the two young Cratchits +hustled Tiny Tim, and bore him off into the wash-house, +that he might hear the pudding singing in the copper. + +"And how did little Tim behave?" asked Mrs. Cratchit, +when she had rallied Bob on his credulity, and Bob had +hugged his daughter to his heart's content. + +"As good as gold," said Bob, "and better. Somehow he +gets thoughtful, sitting by himself so much, and thinks the +strangest things you ever heard. He told me, coming home, +that he hoped the people saw him in the church, because he +was a cripple, and it might be pleasant to them to remember +upon Christmas Day, who made lame beggars walk, and blind +men see." + +Bob's voice was tremulous when he told them this, and +trembled more when he said that Tiny Tim was growing +strong and hearty. + +His active little crutch was heard upon the floor, and back +came Tiny Tim before another word was spoken, escorted by +his brother and sister to his stool before the fire; and while +Bob, turning up his cuffs--as if, poor fellow, they were +capable of being made more shabby--compounded some hot +mixture in a jug with gin and lemons, and stirred it round +and round and put it on the hob to simmer; Master Peter, +and the two ubiquitous young Cratchits went to fetch the +goose, with which they soon returned in high procession. + +Such a bustle ensued that you might have thought a goose +the rarest of all birds; a feathered phenomenon, to which a +black swan was a matter of course--and in truth it was +something very like it in that house. Mrs. Cratchit made +the gravy (ready beforehand in a little saucepan) hissing hot; +Master Peter mashed the potatoes with incredible vigour; +Miss Belinda sweetened up the apple-sauce; Martha dusted +the hot plates; Bob took Tiny Tim beside him in a tiny +corner at the table; the two young Cratchits set chairs for +everybody, not forgetting themselves, and mounting guard +upon their posts, crammed spoons into their mouths, lest +they should shriek for goose before their turn came to be +helped. At last the dishes were set on, and grace was +said. It was succeeded by a breathless pause, as Mrs. +Cratchit, looking slowly all along the carving-knife, prepared +to plunge it in the breast; but when she did, and when the +long expected gush of stuffing issued forth, one murmur of +delight arose all round the board, and even Tiny Tim, +excited by the two young Cratchits, beat on the table with +the handle of his knife, and feebly cried Hurrah! + +There never was such a goose. Bob said he didn't believe +there ever was such a goose cooked. Its tenderness and +flavour, size and cheapness, were the themes of universal +admiration. Eked out by apple-sauce and mashed potatoes, +it was a sufficient dinner for the whole family; indeed, as +Mrs. Cratchit said with great delight (surveying one small +atom of a bone upon the dish), they hadn't ate it all at +last! Yet every one had had enough, and the youngest +Cratchits in particular, were steeped in sage and onion to +the eyebrows! But now, the plates being changed by Miss +Belinda, Mrs. Cratchit left the room alone--too nervous to +bear witnesses--to take the pudding up and bring it in. + +Suppose it should not be done enough! Suppose it should +break in turning out! Suppose somebody should have got +over the wall of the back-yard, and stolen it, while they +were merry with the goose--a supposition at which the two +young Cratchits became livid! All sorts of horrors were +supposed. + +Hallo! A great deal of steam! The pudding was out of +the copper. A smell like a washing-day! That was the +cloth. A smell like an eating-house and a pastrycook's next +door to each other, with a laundress's next door to that! +That was the pudding! In half a minute Mrs. Cratchit +entered--flushed, but smiling proudly--with the pudding, +like a speckled cannon-ball, so hard and firm, blazing in half +of half-a-quartern of ignited brandy, and bedight with +Christmas holly stuck into the top. + +Oh, a wonderful pudding! Bob Cratchit said, and calmly +too, that he regarded it as the greatest success achieved by +Mrs. Cratchit since their marriage. Mrs. Cratchit said that +now the weight was off her mind, she would confess she had +had her doubts about the quantity of flour. Everybody had +something to say about it, but nobody said or thought it +was at all a small pudding for a large family. It would have +been flat heresy to do so. Any Cratchit would have blushed +to hint at such a thing. + +At last the dinner was all done, the cloth was cleared, the +hearth swept, and the fire made up. The compound in the +jug being tasted, and considered perfect, apples and oranges +were put upon the table, and a shovel-full of chestnuts on the +fire. Then all the Cratchit family drew round the hearth, in +what Bob Cratchit called a circle, meaning half a one; and +at Bob Cratchit's elbow stood the family display of glass. +Two tumblers, and a custard-cup without a handle. + +These held the hot stuff from the jug, however, as well as +golden goblets would have done; and Bob served it out with +beaming looks, while the chestnuts on the fire sputtered and +cracked noisily. Then Bob proposed: + +"A Merry Christmas to us all, my dears. God bless us!" + +Which all the family re-echoed. + +"God bless us every one!" said Tiny Tim, the last of all. + +He sat very close to his father's side upon his little +stool. Bob held his withered little hand in his, as if he +loved the child, and wished to keep him by his side, and +dreaded that he might be taken from him. + +"Spirit," said Scrooge, with an interest he had never felt +before, "tell me if Tiny Tim will live." + +"I see a vacant seat," replied the Ghost, "in the poor +chimney-corner, and a crutch without an owner, carefully +preserved. If these shadows remain unaltered by the Future, +the child will die." + +"No, no," said Scrooge. "Oh, no, kind Spirit! say he +will be spared." + +"If these shadows remain unaltered by the Future, none +other of my race," returned the Ghost, "will find him here. +What then? If he be like to die, he had better do it, and +decrease the surplus population." + +Scrooge hung his head to hear his own words quoted by +the Spirit, and was overcome with penitence and grief. + +"Man," said the Ghost, "if man you be in heart, not +adamant, forbear that wicked cant until you have discovered +What the surplus is, and Where it is. Will you decide what +men shall live, what men shall die? It may be, that in the +sight of Heaven, you are more worthless and less fit to live +than millions like this poor man's child. Oh God! to hear +the Insect on the leaf pronouncing on the too much life +among his hungry brothers in the dust!" + +Scrooge bent before the Ghost's rebuke, and trembling cast +his eyes upon the ground. But he raised them speedily, on +hearing his own name. + +"Mr. Scrooge!" said Bob; "I'll give you Mr. Scrooge, the +Founder of the Feast!" + +"The Founder of the Feast indeed!" cried Mrs. Cratchit, +reddening. "I wish I had him here. I'd give him a piece +of my mind to feast upon, and I hope he'd have a good +appetite for it." + +"My dear," said Bob, "the children! Christmas Day." + +"It should be Christmas Day, I am sure," said she, "on +which one drinks the health of such an odious, stingy, hard, +unfeeling man as Mr. Scrooge. You know he is, Robert! +Nobody knows it better than you do, poor fellow!" + +"My dear," was Bob's mild answer, "Christmas Day." + +"I'll drink his health for your sake and the Day's," said +Mrs. Cratchit, "not for his. Long life to him! A merry +Christmas and a happy new year! He'll be very merry and +very happy, I have no doubt!" + +The children drank the toast after her. It was the first of +their proceedings which had no heartiness. Tiny Tim drank +it last of all, but he didn't care twopence for it. Scrooge +was the Ogre of the family. The mention of his name cast +a dark shadow on the party, which was not dispelled for full +five minutes. + +After it had passed away, they were ten times merrier than +before, from the mere relief of Scrooge the Baleful being done +with. Bob Cratchit told them how he had a situation in his +eye for Master Peter, which would bring in, if obtained, full +five-and-sixpence weekly. The two young Cratchits laughed +tremendously at the idea of Peter's being a man of business; +and Peter himself looked thoughtfully at the fire from +between his collars, as if he were deliberating what particular +investments he should favour when he came into the receipt +of that bewildering income. Martha, who was a poor +apprentice at a milliner's, then told them what kind of work +she had to do, and how many hours she worked at a stretch, +and how she meant to lie abed to-morrow morning for a +good long rest; to-morrow being a holiday she passed at +home. Also how she had seen a countess and a lord some +days before, and how the lord "was much about as tall as +Peter;" at which Peter pulled up his collars so high that you +couldn't have seen his head if you had been there. All this +time the chestnuts and the jug went round and round; and +by-and-bye they had a song, about a lost child travelling in +the snow, from Tiny Tim, who had a plaintive little voice, +and sang it very well indeed. + +There was nothing of high mark in this. They were not +a handsome family; they were not well dressed; their shoes +were far from being water-proof; their clothes were scanty; +and Peter might have known, and very likely did, the inside +of a pawnbroker's. But, they were happy, grateful, pleased +with one another, and contented with the time; and when +they faded, and looked happier yet in the bright sprinklings +of the Spirit's torch at parting, Scrooge had his eye upon +them, and especially on Tiny Tim, until the last. + +By this time it was getting dark, and snowing pretty +heavily; and as Scrooge and the Spirit went along the streets, +the brightness of the roaring fires in kitchens, parlours, and +all sorts of rooms, was wonderful. Here, the flickering of +the blaze showed preparations for a cosy dinner, with hot +plates baking through and through before the fire, and deep +red curtains, ready to be drawn to shut out cold and darkness. +There all the children of the house were running out +into the snow to meet their married sisters, brothers, cousins, +uncles, aunts, and be the first to greet them. Here, again, +were shadows on the window-blind of guests assembling; and +there a group of handsome girls, all hooded and fur-booted, +and all chattering at once, tripped lightly off to some near +neighbour's house; where, woe upon the single man who saw +them enter--artful witches, well they knew it--in a glow! + +But, if you had judged from the numbers of people on +their way to friendly gatherings, you might have thought +that no one was at home to give them welcome when they +got there, instead of every house expecting company, and +piling up its fires half-chimney high. Blessings on it, how +the Ghost exulted! How it bared its breadth of breast, and +opened its capacious palm, and floated on, outpouring, with +a generous hand, its bright and harmless mirth on everything +within its reach! The very lamplighter, who ran on before, +dotting the dusky street with specks of light, and who was +dressed to spend the evening somewhere, laughed out loudly +as the Spirit passed, though little kenned the lamplighter +that he had any company but Christmas! + +And now, without a word of warning from the Ghost, they +stood upon a bleak and desert moor, where monstrous masses +of rude stone were cast about, as though it were the burial-place +of giants; and water spread itself wheresoever it listed, +or would have done so, but for the frost that held it prisoner; +and nothing grew but moss and furze, and coarse rank grass. +Down in the west the setting sun had left a streak of fiery +red, which glared upon the desolation for an instant, like a +sullen eye, and frowning lower, lower, lower yet, was lost in +the thick gloom of darkest night. + +"What place is this?" asked Scrooge. + +"A place where Miners live, who labour in the bowels of +the earth," returned the Spirit. "But they know me. See!" + +A light shone from the window of a hut, and swiftly they +advanced towards it. Passing through the wall of mud and +stone, they found a cheerful company assembled round a +glowing fire. An old, old man and woman, with their +children and their children's children, and another generation +beyond that, all decked out gaily in their holiday attire. +The old man, in a voice that seldom rose above the howling +of the wind upon the barren waste, was singing them a +Christmas song--it had been a very old song when he was a +boy--and from time to time they all joined in the chorus. +So surely as they raised their voices, the old man got quite +blithe and loud; and so surely as they stopped, his vigour +sank again. + +The Spirit did not tarry here, but bade Scrooge hold his +robe, and passing on above the moor, sped--whither? Not +to sea? To sea. To Scrooge's horror, looking back, he saw +the last of the land, a frightful range of rocks, behind them; +and his ears were deafened by the thundering of water, as it +rolled and roared, and raged among the dreadful caverns it +had worn, and fiercely tried to undermine the earth. + +Built upon a dismal reef of sunken rocks, some league +or so from shore, on which the waters chafed and dashed, +the wild year through, there stood a solitary lighthouse. +Great heaps of sea-weed clung to its base, and storm-birds +--born of the wind one might suppose, as sea-weed of the +water--rose and fell about it, like the waves they skimmed. + +But even here, two men who watched the light had made +a fire, that through the loophole in the thick stone wall shed +out a ray of brightness on the awful sea. Joining their +horny hands over the rough table at which they sat, they +wished each other Merry Christmas in their can of grog; and +one of them: the elder, too, with his face all damaged and +scarred with hard weather, as the figure-head of an old ship +might be: struck up a sturdy song that was like a Gale in +itself. + +Again the Ghost sped on, above the black and heaving sea +--on, on--until, being far away, as he told Scrooge, from any +shore, they lighted on a ship. They stood beside the helmsman +at the wheel, the look-out in the bow, the officers who +had the watch; dark, ghostly figures in their several stations; +but every man among them hummed a Christmas tune, or +had a Christmas thought, or spoke below his breath to his +companion of some bygone Christmas Day, with homeward +hopes belonging to it. And every man on board, waking or +sleeping, good or bad, had had a kinder word for another +on that day than on any day in the year; and had shared +to some extent in its festivities; and had remembered those +he cared for at a distance, and had known that they delighted +to remember him. + +It was a great surprise to Scrooge, while listening to the +moaning of the wind, and thinking what a solemn thing it +was to move on through the lonely darkness over an unknown +abyss, whose depths were secrets as profound as Death: it +was a great surprise to Scrooge, while thus engaged, to hear +a hearty laugh. It was a much greater surprise to Scrooge +to recognise it as his own nephew's and to find himself in a +bright, dry, gleaming room, with the Spirit standing smiling +by his side, and looking at that same nephew with approving +affability! + +"Ha, ha!" laughed Scrooge's nephew. "Ha, ha, ha!" + +If you should happen, by any unlikely chance, to know a +man more blest in a laugh than Scrooge's nephew, all I can +say is, I should like to know him too. Introduce him to me, +and I'll cultivate his acquaintance. + +It is a fair, even-handed, noble adjustment of things, that +while there is infection in disease and sorrow, there is nothing +in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and +good-humour. When Scrooge's nephew laughed in this way: holding +his sides, rolling his head, and twisting his face into the +most extravagant contortions: Scrooge's niece, by marriage, +laughed as heartily as he. And their assembled friends being +not a bit behindhand, roared out lustily. + +"Ha, ha! Ha, ha, ha, ha!" + +"He said that Christmas was a humbug, as I live!" cried +Scrooge's nephew. "He believed it too!" + +"More shame for him, Fred!" said Scrooge's niece, +indignantly. Bless those women; they never do anything by +halves. They are always in earnest. + +She was very pretty: exceedingly pretty. With a dimpled, +surprised-looking, capital face; a ripe little mouth, that +seemed made to be kissed--as no doubt it was; all kinds of +good little dots about her chin, that melted into one another +when she laughed; and the sunniest pair of eyes you ever +saw in any little creature's head. Altogether she was what +you would have called provoking, you know; but satisfactory, too. +Oh, perfectly satisfactory. + +"He's a comical old fellow," said Scrooge's nephew, "that's +the truth: and not so pleasant as he might be. However, +his offences carry their own punishment, and I have nothing +to say against him." + +"I'm sure he is very rich, Fred," hinted Scrooge's niece. +"At least you always tell me so." + +"What of that, my dear!" said Scrooge's nephew. "His +wealth is of no use to him. He don't do any good with it. +He don't make himself comfortable with it. He hasn't the +satisfaction of thinking--ha, ha, ha!--that he is ever going +to benefit US with it." + +"I have no patience with him," observed Scrooge's niece. +Scrooge's niece's sisters, and all the other ladies, expressed +the same opinion. + +"Oh, I have!" said Scrooge's nephew. "I am sorry for +him; I couldn't be angry with him if I tried. Who suffers +by his ill whims! Himself, always. Here, he takes it into +his head to dislike us, and he won't come and dine with us. +What's the consequence? He don't lose much of a dinner." + +"Indeed, I think he loses a very good dinner," interrupted +Scrooge's niece. Everybody else said the same, and they +must be allowed to have been competent judges, because +they had just had dinner; and, with the dessert upon the +table, were clustered round the fire, by lamplight. + +"Well! I'm very glad to hear it," said Scrooge's nephew, +"because I haven't great faith in these young housekeepers. +What do you say, Topper?" + +Topper had clearly got his eye upon one of Scrooge's niece's +sisters, for he answered that a bachelor was a wretched outcast, +who had no right to express an opinion on the subject. +Whereat Scrooge's niece's sister--the plump one with the lace +tucker: not the one with the roses--blushed. + +"Do go on, Fred," said Scrooge's niece, clapping her hands. +"He never finishes what he begins to say! He is such a +ridiculous fellow!" + +Scrooge's nephew revelled in another laugh, and as it was +impossible to keep the infection off; though the plump sister +tried hard to do it with aromatic vinegar; his example was +unanimously followed. + +"I was only going to say," said Scrooge's nephew, "that +the consequence of his taking a dislike to us, and not making +merry with us, is, as I think, that he loses some pleasant +moments, which could do him no harm. I am sure he loses +pleasanter companions than he can find in his own thoughts, +either in his mouldy old office, or his dusty chambers. I +mean to give him the same chance every year, whether he +likes it or not, for I pity him. He may rail at Christmas +till he dies, but he can't help thinking better of it--I defy +him--if he finds me going there, in good temper, year after +year, and saying Uncle Scrooge, how are you? If it only +puts him in the vein to leave his poor clerk fifty pounds, +that's something; and I think I shook him yesterday." + +It was their turn to laugh now at the notion of his shaking +Scrooge. But being thoroughly good-natured, and not much +caring what they laughed at, so that they laughed at any +rate, he encouraged them in their merriment, and passed the +bottle joyously. + +After tea, they had some music. For they were a musical +family, and knew what they were about, when they sung a +Glee or Catch, I can assure you: especially Topper, who +could growl away in the bass like a good one, and never +swell the large veins in his forehead, or get red in the face +over it. Scrooge's niece played well upon the harp; and +played among other tunes a simple little air (a mere nothing: +you might learn to whistle it in two minutes), which had +been familiar to the child who fetched Scrooge from the +boarding-school, as he had been reminded by the Ghost of +Christmas Past. When this strain of music sounded, all the +things that Ghost had shown him, came upon his mind; he +softened more and more; and thought that if he could have +listened to it often, years ago, he might have cultivated the +kindnesses of life for his own happiness with his own hands, +without resorting to the sexton's spade that buried Jacob +Marley. + +But they didn't devote the whole evening to music. After +a while they played at forfeits; for it is good to be children +sometimes, and never better than at Christmas, when its +mighty Founder was a child himself. Stop! There was first +a game at blind-man's buff. Of course there was. And I +no more believe Topper was really blind than I believe he +had eyes in his boots. My opinion is, that it was a done +thing between him and Scrooge's nephew; and that the +Ghost of Christmas Present knew it. The way he went after +that plump sister in the lace tucker, was an outrage on the +credulity of human nature. Knocking down the fire-irons, +tumbling over the chairs, bumping against the piano, +smothering himself among the curtains, wherever she went, +there went he! He always knew where the plump sister was. +He wouldn't catch anybody else. If you had fallen up +against him (as some of them did), on purpose, he would +have made a feint of endeavouring to seize you, which would +have been an affront to your understanding, and would instantly +have sidled off in the direction of the plump sister. +She often cried out that it wasn't fair; and it really was not. +But when at last, he caught her; when, in spite of all her +silken rustlings, and her rapid flutterings past him, he got +her into a corner whence there was no escape; then his +conduct was the most execrable. For his pretending not to +know her; his pretending that it was necessary to touch her +head-dress, and further to assure himself of her identity by +pressing a certain ring upon her finger, and a certain chain +about her neck; was vile, monstrous! No doubt she told +him her opinion of it, when, another blind-man being in +office, they were so very confidential together, behind the +curtains. + +Scrooge's niece was not one of the blind-man's buff party, +but was made comfortable with a large chair and a footstool, +in a snug corner, where the Ghost and Scrooge were close +behind her. But she joined in the forfeits, and loved her +love to admiration with all the letters of the alphabet. +Likewise at the game of How, When, and Where, she was +very great, and to the secret joy of Scrooge's nephew, beat +her sisters hollow: though they were sharp girls too, as Topper +could have told you. There might have been twenty people there, +young and old, but they all played, and so did Scrooge; for +wholly forgetting in the interest he had in what was going on, that +his voice made no sound in their ears, he sometimes came out with +his guess quite loud, and very often guessed quite right, too; +for the sharpest needle, best Whitechapel, warranted not to cut +in the eye, was not sharper than Scrooge; blunt as he took it in +his head to be. + +The Ghost was greatly pleased to find him in this mood, +and looked upon him with such favour, that he begged like +a boy to be allowed to stay until the guests departed. But +this the Spirit said could not be done. + +"Here is a new game," said Scrooge. "One half hour, +Spirit, only one!" + +It was a Game called Yes and No, where Scrooge's nephew +had to think of something, and the rest must find out what; +he only answering to their questions yes or no, as the case +was. The brisk fire of questioning to which he was exposed, +elicited from him that he was thinking of an animal, a live +animal, rather a disagreeable animal, a savage animal, an +animal that growled and grunted sometimes, and talked sometimes, +and lived in London, and walked about the streets, +and wasn't made a show of, and wasn't led by anybody, and +didn't live in a menagerie, and was never killed in a market, +and was not a horse, or an ass, or a cow, or a bull, or a +tiger, or a dog, or a pig, or a cat, or a bear. At every fresh +question that was put to him, this nephew burst into a +fresh roar of laughter; and was so inexpressibly tickled, that +he was obliged to get up off the sofa and stamp. At last +the plump sister, falling into a similar state, cried out: + +"I have found it out! I know what it is, Fred! I know +what it is!" + +"What is it?" cried Fred. + +"It's your Uncle Scro-o-o-o-oge!" + +Which it certainly was. Admiration was the universal +sentiment, though some objected that the reply to "Is it a +bear?" ought to have been "Yes;" inasmuch as an answer +in the negative was sufficient to have diverted their thoughts +from Mr. Scrooge, supposing they had ever had any tendency +that way. + +"He has given us plenty of merriment, I am sure," said +Fred, "and it would be ungrateful not to drink his health. +Here is a glass of mulled wine ready to our hand at the +moment; and I say, 'Uncle Scrooge!'" + +"Well! Uncle Scrooge!" they cried. + +"A Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to the old +man, whatever he is!" said Scrooge's nephew. "He wouldn't +take it from me, but may he have it, nevertheless. Uncle +Scrooge!" + +Uncle Scrooge had imperceptibly become so gay and light +of heart, that he would have pledged the unconscious +company in return, and thanked them in an inaudible speech, +if the Ghost had given him time. But the whole scene +passed off in the breath of the last word spoken by his +nephew; and he and the Spirit were again upon their travels. + +Much they saw, and far they went, and many homes they +visited, but always with a happy end. The Spirit stood +beside sick beds, and they were cheerful; on foreign lands, +and they were close at home; by struggling men, and they +were patient in their greater hope; by poverty, and it was +rich. In almshouse, hospital, and jail, in misery's every +refuge, where vain man in his little brief authority had not +made fast the door, and barred the Spirit out, he left his +blessing, and taught Scrooge his precepts. + +It was a long night, if it were only a night; but Scrooge +had his doubts of this, because the Christmas Holidays appeared +to be condensed into the space of time they passed +together. It was strange, too, that while Scrooge remained +unaltered in his outward form, the Ghost grew older, clearly +older. Scrooge had observed this change, but never spoke of +it, until they left a children's Twelfth Night party, when, +looking at the Spirit as they stood together in an open place, +he noticed that its hair was grey. + +"Are spirits' lives so short?" asked Scrooge. + +"My life upon this globe, is very brief," replied the Ghost. +"It ends to-night." + +"To-night!" cried Scrooge. + +"To-night at midnight. Hark! The time is drawing +near." + +The chimes were ringing the three quarters past eleven at +that moment. + +"Forgive me if I am not justified in what I ask," said +Scrooge, looking intently at the Spirit's robe, "but I see +something strange, and not belonging to yourself, protruding +from your skirts. Is it a foot or a claw?" + +"It might be a claw, for the flesh there is upon it," was +the Spirit's sorrowful reply. "Look here." + +From the foldings of its robe, it brought two children; +wretched, abject, frightful, hideous, miserable. They knelt +down at its feet, and clung upon the outside of its garment. + +"Oh, Man! look here. Look, look, down here!" exclaimed +the Ghost. + +They were a boy and girl. Yellow, meagre, ragged, scowling, +wolfish; but prostrate, too, in their humility. Where +graceful youth should have filled their features out, and +touched them with its freshest tints, a stale and shrivelled +hand, like that of age, had pinched, and twisted them, and +pulled them into shreds. Where angels might have sat +enthroned, devils lurked, and glared out menacing. No +change, no degradation, no perversion of humanity, in any +grade, through all the mysteries of wonderful creation, has +monsters half so horrible and dread. + +Scrooge started back, appalled. Having them shown to +him in this way, he tried to say they were fine children, but +the words choked themselves, rather than be parties to a lie +of such enormous magnitude. + +"Spirit! are they yours?" Scrooge could say no more. + +"They are Man's," said the Spirit, looking down upon +them. "And they cling to me, appealing from their fathers. +This boy is Ignorance. This girl is Want. Beware them both, +and all of their degree, but most of all beware this boy, for +on his brow I see that written which is Doom, unless the +writing be erased. Deny it!" cried the Spirit, stretching out +its hand towards the city. "Slander those who tell it ye! +Admit it for your factious purposes, and make it worse. +And bide the end!" + +"Have they no refuge or resource?" cried Scrooge. + +"Are there no prisons?" said the Spirit, turning on him +for the last time with his own words. "Are there no workhouses?" + +The bell struck twelve. + +Scrooge looked about him for the Ghost, and saw it not. +As the last stroke ceased to vibrate, he remembered the +prediction of old Jacob Marley, and lifting up his eyes, +beheld a solemn Phantom, draped and hooded, coming, like +a mist along the ground, towards him. + + +STAVE IV: THE LAST OF THE SPIRITS + +THE Phantom slowly, gravely, silently, approached. When +it came near him, Scrooge bent down upon his knee; for in +the very air through which this Spirit moved it seemed to +scatter gloom and mystery. + +It was shrouded in a deep black garment, which concealed +its head, its face, its form, and left nothing of it visible +save one outstretched hand. But for this it would have been +difficult to detach its figure from the night, and separate it +from the darkness by which it was surrounded. + +He felt that it was tall and stately when it came beside +him, and that its mysterious presence filled him with a +solemn dread. He knew no more, for the Spirit neither +spoke nor moved. + +"I am in the presence of the Ghost of Christmas Yet To +Come?" said Scrooge. + +The Spirit answered not, but pointed onward with its +hand. + +"You are about to show me shadows of the things that +have not happened, but will happen in the time before us," +Scrooge pursued. "Is that so, Spirit?" + +The upper portion of the garment was contracted for an +instant in its folds, as if the Spirit had inclined its head. +That was the only answer he received. + +Although well used to ghostly company by this time, +Scrooge feared the silent shape so much that his legs trembled +beneath him, and he found that he could hardly stand when +he prepared to follow it. The Spirit paused a moment, as +observing his condition, and giving him time to recover. + +But Scrooge was all the worse for this. It thrilled him +with a vague uncertain horror, to know that behind the +dusky shroud, there were ghostly eyes intently fixed upon +him, while he, though he stretched his own to the utmost, +could see nothing but a spectral hand and one great heap +of black. + +"Ghost of the Future!" he exclaimed, "I fear you more +than any spectre I have seen. But as I know your purpose +is to do me good, and as I hope to live to be another +man from what I was, I am prepared to bear you company, +and do it with a thankful heart. Will you not speak +to me?" + +It gave him no reply. The hand was pointed straight +before them. + +"Lead on!" said Scrooge. "Lead on! The night is +waning fast, and it is precious time to me, I know. Lead +on, Spirit!" + +The Phantom moved away as it had come towards him. +Scrooge followed in the shadow of its dress, which bore him +up, he thought, and carried him along. + +They scarcely seemed to enter the city; for the city rather +seemed to spring up about them, and encompass them of its +own act. But there they were, in the heart of it; on +'Change, amongst the merchants; who hurried up and down, +and chinked the money in their pockets, and conversed in +groups, and looked at their watches, and trifled thoughtfully +with their great gold seals; and so forth, as Scrooge had +seen them often. + +The Spirit stopped beside one little knot of business men. +Observing that the hand was pointed to them, Scrooge +advanced to listen to their talk. + +"No," said a great fat man with a monstrous chin, "I +don't know much about it, either way. I only know he's +dead." + +"When did he die?" inquired another. + +"Last night, I believe." + +"Why, what was the matter with him?" asked a third, +taking a vast quantity of snuff out of a very large snuff-box. +"I thought he'd never die." + +"God knows," said the first, with a yawn. + +"What has he done with his money?" asked a red-faced +gentleman with a pendulous excrescence on the end of his +nose, that shook like the gills of a turkey-cock. + +"I haven't heard," said the man with the large chin, +yawning again. "Left it to his company, perhaps. He hasn't +left it to me. That's all I know." + +This pleasantry was received with a general laugh. + +"It's likely to be a very cheap funeral," said the same +speaker; "for upon my life I don't know of anybody to go +to it. Suppose we make up a party and volunteer?" + +"I don't mind going if a lunch is provided," observed the +gentleman with the excrescence on his nose. "But I must +be fed, if I make one." + +Another laugh. + +"Well, I am the most disinterested among you, after all," +said the first speaker, "for I never wear black gloves, and I +never eat lunch. But I'll offer to go, if anybody else will. +When I come to think of it, I'm not at all sure that I wasn't +his most particular friend; for we used to stop and speak +whenever we met. Bye, bye!" + +Speakers and listeners strolled away, and mixed with +other groups. Scrooge knew the men, and looked towards the +Spirit for an explanation. + +The Phantom glided on into a street. Its finger pointed +to two persons meeting. Scrooge listened again, thinking +that the explanation might lie here. + +He knew these men, also, perfectly. They were men of business: +very wealthy, and of great importance. He had made a point +always of standing well in their esteem: in a business point +of view, that is; strictly in a business point of view. + +"How are you?" said one. + +"How are you?" returned the other. + +"Well!" said the first. "Old Scratch has got his own at +last, hey?" + +"So I am told," returned the second. "Cold, isn't it?" + +"Seasonable for Christmas time. You're not a skater, I +suppose?" + +"No. No. Something else to think of. Good morning!" + +Not another word. That was their meeting, their +conversation, and their parting. + +Scrooge was at first inclined to be surprised that the +Spirit should attach importance to conversations apparently so +trivial; but feeling assured that they must have some hidden +purpose, he set himself to consider what it was likely to be. +They could scarcely be supposed to have any bearing on the +death of Jacob, his old partner, for that was Past, and this +Ghost's province was the Future. Nor could he think of any +one immediately connected with himself, to whom he could +apply them. But nothing doubting that to whomsoever they +applied they had some latent moral for his own improvement, +he resolved to treasure up every word he heard, +and everything he saw; and especially to observe the +shadow of himself when it appeared. For he had an expectation +that the conduct of his future self would give him +the clue he missed, and would render the solution of these +riddles easy. + +He looked about in that very place for his own image; but +another man stood in his accustomed corner, and though the +clock pointed to his usual time of day for being there, he +saw no likeness of himself among the multitudes that poured +in through the Porch. It gave him little surprise, however; +for he had been revolving in his mind a change of life, and +thought and hoped he saw his new-born resolutions carried +out in this. + +Quiet and dark, beside him stood the Phantom, with its +outstretched hand. When he roused himself from his +thoughtful quest, he fancied from the turn of the hand, and +its situation in reference to himself, that the Unseen Eyes +were looking at him keenly. It made him shudder, and feel +very cold. + +They left the busy scene, and went into an obscure part +of the town, where Scrooge had never penetrated before, +although he recognised its situation, and its bad repute. The +ways were foul and narrow; the shops and houses wretched; +the people half-naked, drunken, slipshod, ugly. Alleys and +archways, like so many cesspools, disgorged their offences of +smell, and dirt, and life, upon the straggling streets; and the +whole quarter reeked with crime, with filth, and misery. + +Far in this den of infamous resort, there was a low-browed, +beetling shop, below a pent-house roof, where iron, old rags, +bottles, bones, and greasy offal, were bought. Upon the floor +within, were piled up heaps of rusty keys, nails, chains, hinges, +files, scales, weights, and refuse iron of all kinds. Secrets +that few would like to scrutinise were bred and hidden in +mountains of unseemly rags, masses of corrupted fat, and +sepulchres of bones. Sitting in among the wares he dealt in, by a +charcoal stove, made of old bricks, was a grey-haired rascal, +nearly seventy years of age; who had screened himself from the +cold air without, by a frousy curtaining of miscellaneous +tatters, hung upon a line; and smoked his pipe in all the luxury +of calm retirement. + +Scrooge and the Phantom came into the presence of this +man, just as a woman with a heavy bundle slunk into the +shop. But she had scarcely entered, when another woman, +similarly laden, came in too; and she was closely followed by +a man in faded black, who was no less startled by the sight +of them, than they had been upon the recognition of each +other. After a short period of blank astonishment, in which +the old man with the pipe had joined them, they all three +burst into a laugh. + +"Let the charwoman alone to be the first!" cried she who +had entered first. "Let the laundress alone to be the second; +and let the undertaker's man alone to be the third. Look +here, old Joe, here's a chance! If we haven't all three met +here without meaning it!" + +"You couldn't have met in a better place," said old Joe, +removing his pipe from his mouth. "Come into the parlour. +You were made free of it long ago, you know; and the other +two an't strangers. Stop till I shut the door of the shop. +Ah! How it skreeks! There an't such a rusty bit of metal +in the place as its own hinges, I believe; and I'm sure there's +no such old bones here, as mine. Ha, ha! We're all suitable +to our calling, we're well matched. Come into the +parlour. Come into the parlour." + +The parlour was the space behind the screen of rags. The +old man raked the fire together with an old stair-rod, and +having trimmed his smoky lamp (for it was night), with the +stem of his pipe, put it in his mouth again. + +While he did this, the woman who had already spoken +threw her bundle on the floor, and sat down in a flaunting +manner on a stool; crossing her elbows on her knees, and +looking with a bold defiance at the other two. + +"What odds then! What odds, Mrs. Dilber?" said the +woman. "Every person has a right to take care of themselves. +He always did." + +"That's true, indeed!" said the laundress. "No man +more so." + +"Why then, don't stand staring as if you was afraid, +woman; who's the wiser? We're not going to pick holes in +each other's coats, I suppose?" + +"No, indeed!" said Mrs. Dilber and the man together. +"We should hope not." + +"Very well, then!" cried the woman. "That's enough. +Who's the worse for the loss of a few things like these? +Not a dead man, I suppose." + +"No, indeed," said Mrs. Dilber, laughing. + +"If he wanted to keep 'em after he was dead, a wicked old +screw," pursued the woman, "why wasn't he natural in his +lifetime? If he had been, he'd have had somebody to look +after him when he was struck with Death, instead of lying +gasping out his last there, alone by himself." + +"It's the truest word that ever was spoke," said Mrs. +Dilber. "It's a judgment on him." + +"I wish it was a little heavier judgment," replied the +woman; "and it should have been, you may depend upon it, +if I could have laid my hands on anything else. Open that +bundle, old Joe, and let me know the value of it. Speak out +plain. I'm not afraid to be the first, nor afraid for them to +see it. We know pretty well that we were helping ourselves, +before we met here, I believe. It's no sin. Open the bundle, +Joe." + +But the gallantry of her friends would not allow of this; +and the man in faded black, mounting the breach first, +produced his plunder. It was not extensive. A seal or two, +a pencil-case, a pair of sleeve-buttons, and a brooch of no +great value, were all. They were severally examined and +appraised by old Joe, who chalked the sums he was disposed +to give for each, upon the wall, and added them up into a +total when he found there was nothing more to come. + +"That's your account," said Joe, "and I wouldn't give +another sixpence, if I was to be boiled for not doing it. +Who's next?" + +Mrs. Dilber was next. Sheets and towels, a little wearing +apparel, two old-fashioned silver teaspoons, a pair of +sugar-tongs, and a few boots. Her account was stated on the wall +in the same manner. + +"I always give too much to ladies. It's a weakness of mine, +and that's the way I ruin myself," said old Joe. "That's +your account. If you asked me for another penny, and made +it an open question, I'd repent of being so liberal and knock +off half-a-crown." + +"And now undo my bundle, Joe," said the first woman. + +Joe went down on his knees for the greater convenience +of opening it, and having unfastened a great many knots, +dragged out a large and heavy roll of some dark stuff. + +"What do you call this?" said Joe. "Bed-curtains!" + +"Ah!" returned the woman, laughing and leaning forward +on her crossed arms. "Bed-curtains!" + +"You don't mean to say you took 'em down, rings and +all, with him lying there?" said Joe. + +"Yes I do," replied the woman. "Why not?" + +"You were born to make your fortune," said Joe, "and +you'll certainly do it." + +"I certainly shan't hold my hand, when I can get anything +in it by reaching it out, for the sake of such a man as He +was, I promise you, Joe," returned the woman coolly. "Don't +drop that oil upon the blankets, now." + +"His blankets?" asked Joe. + +"Whose else's do you think?" replied the woman. "He +isn't likely to take cold without 'em, I dare say." + +"I hope he didn't die of anything catching? Eh?" said +old Joe, stopping in his work, and looking up. + +"Don't you be afraid of that," returned the woman. "I +an't so fond of his company that I'd loiter about him for +such things, if he did. Ah! you may look through that +shirt till your eyes ache; but you won't find a hole in it, nor +a threadbare place. It's the best he had, and a fine one too. +They'd have wasted it, if it hadn't been for me." + +"What do you call wasting of it?" asked old Joe. + +"Putting it on him to be buried in, to be sure," replied +the woman with a laugh. "Somebody was fool enough to +do it, but I took it off again. If calico an't good enough for +such a purpose, it isn't good enough for anything. It's quite +as becoming to the body. He can't look uglier than he did +in that one." + +Scrooge listened to this dialogue in horror. As they sat +grouped about their spoil, in the scanty light afforded by +the old man's lamp, he viewed them with a detestation and +disgust, which could hardly have been greater, though they +had been obscene demons, marketing the corpse itself. + +"Ha, ha!" laughed the same woman, when old Joe, +producing a flannel bag with money in it, told out their +several gains upon the ground. "This is the end of it, you +see! He frightened every one away from him when he was +alive, to profit us when he was dead! Ha, ha, ha!" + +"Spirit!" said Scrooge, shuddering from head to foot. "I +see, I see. The case of this unhappy man might be my own. +My life tends that way, now. Merciful Heaven, what is +this!" + +He recoiled in terror, for the scene had changed, and now +he almost touched a bed: a bare, uncurtained bed: on which, +beneath a ragged sheet, there lay a something covered up, +which, though it was dumb, announced itself in awful +language. + +The room was very dark, too dark to be observed with +any accuracy, though Scrooge glanced round it in obedience +to a secret impulse, anxious to know what kind of room it +was. A pale light, rising in the outer air, fell straight upon +the bed; and on it, plundered and bereft, unwatched, unwept, +uncared for, was the body of this man. + +Scrooge glanced towards the Phantom. Its steady hand +was pointed to the head. The cover was so carelessly adjusted +that the slightest raising of it, the motion of a finger upon +Scrooge's part, would have disclosed the face. He thought +of it, felt how easy it would be to do, and longed to do it; +but had no more power to withdraw the veil than to dismiss +the spectre at his side. + +Oh cold, cold, rigid, dreadful Death, set up thine altar +here, and dress it with such terrors as thou hast at thy +command: for this is thy dominion! But of the loved, +revered, and honoured head, thou canst not turn one hair +to thy dread purposes, or make one feature odious. It is +not that the hand is heavy and will fall down when released; +it is not that the heart and pulse are still; but that the +hand WAS open, generous, and true; the heart brave, warm, +and tender; and the pulse a man's. Strike, Shadow, strike! +And see his good deeds springing from the wound, to sow +the world with life immortal! + +No voice pronounced these words in Scrooge's ears, and +yet he heard them when he looked upon the bed. He +thought, if this man could be raised up now, what would be +his foremost thoughts? Avarice, hard-dealing, griping cares? +They have brought him to a rich end, truly! + +He lay, in the dark empty house, with not a man, a +woman, or a child, to say that he was kind to me in this +or that, and for the memory of one kind word I will be +kind to him. A cat was tearing at the door, and there was +a sound of gnawing rats beneath the hearth-stone. What +they wanted in the room of death, and why they were so +restless and disturbed, Scrooge did not dare to think. + +"Spirit!" he said, "this is a fearful place. In leaving it, +I shall not leave its lesson, trust me. Let us go!" + +Still the Ghost pointed with an unmoved finger to the +head. + +"I understand you," Scrooge returned, "and I would do +it, if I could. But I have not the power, Spirit. I have +not the power." + +Again it seemed to look upon him. + +"If there is any person in the town, who feels emotion +caused by this man's death," said Scrooge quite agonised, +"show that person to me, Spirit, I beseech you!" + +The Phantom spread its dark robe before him for a +moment, like a wing; and withdrawing it, revealed a room +by daylight, where a mother and her children were. + +She was expecting some one, and with anxious eagerness; +for she walked up and down the room; started at every +sound; looked out from the window; glanced at the clock; +tried, but in vain, to work with her needle; and could hardly +bear the voices of the children in their play. + +At length the long-expected knock was heard. She hurried +to the door, and met her husband; a man whose face was +careworn and depressed, though he was young. There was +a remarkable expression in it now; a kind of serious delight +of which he felt ashamed, and which he struggled to repress. + +He sat down to the dinner that had been hoarding for +him by the fire; and when she asked him faintly what news +(which was not until after a long silence), he appeared +embarrassed how to answer. + +"Is it good?" she said, "or bad?"--to help him. + +"Bad," he answered. + +"We are quite ruined?" + +"No. There is hope yet, Caroline." + +"If he relents," she said, amazed, "there is! Nothing is +past hope, if such a miracle has happened." + +"He is past relenting," said her husband. "He is dead." + +She was a mild and patient creature if her face spoke +truth; but she was thankful in her soul to hear it, and she +said so, with clasped hands. She prayed forgiveness the next +moment, and was sorry; but the first was the emotion of +her heart. + +"What the half-drunken woman whom I told you of last +night, said to me, when I tried to see him and obtain a +week's delay; and what I thought was a mere excuse to avoid +me; turns out to have been quite true. He was not only +very ill, but dying, then." + +"To whom will our debt be transferred?" + +"I don't know. But before that time we shall be ready +with the money; and even though we were not, it would be +a bad fortune indeed to find so merciless a creditor in his +successor. We may sleep to-night with light hearts, Caroline!" + +Yes. Soften it as they would, their hearts were lighter. +The children's faces, hushed and clustered round to hear what +they so little understood, were brighter; and it was a happier +house for this man's death! The only emotion that the +Ghost could show him, caused by the event, was one of +pleasure. + +"Let me see some tenderness connected with a death," said +Scrooge; "or that dark chamber, Spirit, which we left just +now, will be for ever present to me." + +The Ghost conducted him through several streets familiar +to his feet; and as they went along, Scrooge looked here and +there to find himself, but nowhere was he to be seen. They +entered poor Bob Cratchit's house; the dwelling he had +visited before; and found the mother and the children seated +round the fire. + +Quiet. Very quiet. The noisy little Cratchits were as +still as statues in one corner, and sat looking up at Peter, +who had a book before him. The mother and her daughters +were engaged in sewing. But surely they were very quiet! + +"'And He took a child, and set him in the midst of +them.'" + +Where had Scrooge heard those words? He had not +dreamed them. The boy must have read them out, as he +and the Spirit crossed the threshold. Why did he not +go on? + +The mother laid her work upon the table, and put her +hand up to her face. + +"The colour hurts my eyes," she said. + +The colour? Ah, poor Tiny Tim! + +"They're better now again," said Cratchit's wife. "It +makes them weak by candle-light; and I wouldn't show weak +eyes to your father when he comes home, for the world. It +must be near his time." + +"Past it rather," Peter answered, shutting up his book. +"But I think he has walked a little slower than he used, +these few last evenings, mother." + +They were very quiet again. At last she said, and in a +steady, cheerful voice, that only faltered once: + +"I have known him walk with--I have known him walk +with Tiny Tim upon his shoulder, very fast indeed." + +"And so have I," cried Peter. "Often." + +"And so have I," exclaimed another. So had all. + +"But he was very light to carry," she resumed, intent upon +her work, "and his father loved him so, that it was no +trouble: no trouble. And there is your father at the door!" + +She hurried out to meet him; and little Bob in his comforter +--he had need of it, poor fellow--came in. His tea +was ready for him on the hob, and they all tried who should +help him to it most. Then the two young Cratchits got +upon his knees and laid, each child a little cheek, against +his face, as if they said, "Don't mind it, father. Don't be +grieved!" + +Bob was very cheerful with them, and spoke pleasantly to +all the family. He looked at the work upon the table, and +praised the industry and speed of Mrs. Cratchit and the girls. +They would be done long before Sunday, he said. + +"Sunday! You went to-day, then, Robert?" said his +wife. + +"Yes, my dear," returned Bob. "I wish you could have +gone. It would have done you good to see how green a +place it is. But you'll see it often. I promised him that I +would walk there on a Sunday. My little, little child!" +cried Bob. "My little child!" + +He broke down all at once. He couldn't help it. If he +could have helped it, he and his child would have been farther +apart perhaps than they were. + +He left the room, and went up-stairs into the room above, +which was lighted cheerfully, and hung with Christmas. +There was a chair set close beside the child, and there were +signs of some one having been there, lately. Poor Bob sat +down in it, and when he had thought a little and composed +himself, he kissed the little face. He was reconciled to what +had happened, and went down again quite happy. + +They drew about the fire, and talked; the girls and mother +working still. Bob told them of the extraordinary kindness +of Mr. Scrooge's nephew, whom he had scarcely seen but +once, and who, meeting him in the street that day, and seeing +that he looked a little--"just a little down you know," said +Bob, inquired what had happened to distress him. "On +which," said Bob, "for he is the pleasantest-spoken gentleman +you ever heard, I told him. 'I am heartily sorry for it, Mr. +Cratchit,' he said, 'and heartily sorry for your good wife.' +By the bye, how he ever knew that, I don't know." + +"Knew what, my dear?" + +"Why, that you were a good wife," replied Bob. + +"Everybody knows that!" said Peter. + +"Very well observed, my boy!" cried Bob. "I hope they +do. 'Heartily sorry,' he said, 'for your good wife. If I +can be of service to you in any way,' he said, giving me +his card, 'that's where I live. Pray come to me.' Now, it +wasn't," cried Bob, "for the sake of anything he might be +able to do for us, so much as for his kind way, that this was +quite delightful. It really seemed as if he had known our +Tiny Tim, and felt with us." + +"I'm sure he's a good soul!" said Mrs. Cratchit. + +"You would be surer of it, my dear," returned Bob, "if +you saw and spoke to him. I shouldn't be at all surprised-- +mark what I say!--if he got Peter a better situation." + +"Only hear that, Peter," said Mrs. Cratchit. + +"And then," cried one of the girls, "Peter will be keeping +company with some one, and setting up for himself." + +"Get along with you!" retorted Peter, grinning. + +"It's just as likely as not," said Bob, "one of these days; +though there's plenty of time for that, my dear. But however +and whenever we part from one another, I am sure we +shall none of us forget poor Tiny Tim--shall we--or this +first parting that there was among us?" + +"Never, father!" cried they all. + +"And I know," said Bob, "I know, my dears, that when +we recollect how patient and how mild he was; although he +was a little, little child; we shall not quarrel easily among +ourselves, and forget poor Tiny Tim in doing it." + +"No, never, father!" they all cried again. + +"I am very happy," said little Bob, "I am very happy!" + +Mrs. Cratchit kissed him, his daughters kissed him, the +two young Cratchits kissed him, and Peter and himself shook +hands. Spirit of Tiny Tim, thy childish essence was from +God! + +"Spectre," said Scrooge, "something informs me that our +parting moment is at hand. I know it, but I know not +how. Tell me what man that was whom we saw lying dead?" + +The Ghost of Christmas Yet To Come conveyed him, as +before--though at a different time, he thought: indeed, there +seemed no order in these latter visions, save that they were +in the Future--into the resorts of business men, but showed +him not himself. Indeed, the Spirit did not stay for anything, +but went straight on, as to the end just now desired, +until besought by Scrooge to tarry for a moment. + +"This court," said Scrooge, "through which we hurry now, +is where my place of occupation is, and has been for a length +of time. I see the house. Let me behold what I shall be, +in days to come!" + +The Spirit stopped; the hand was pointed elsewhere. + +"The house is yonder," Scrooge exclaimed. "Why do you +point away?" + +The inexorable finger underwent no change. + +Scrooge hastened to the window of his office, and looked +in. It was an office still, but not his. The furniture was +not the same, and the figure in the chair was not himself. +The Phantom pointed as before. + +He joined it once again, and wondering why and whither +he had gone, accompanied it until they reached an iron gate. +He paused to look round before entering. + +A churchyard. Here, then; the wretched man whose name +he had now to learn, lay underneath the ground. It was a +worthy place. Walled in by houses; overrun by grass and +weeds, the growth of vegetation's death, not life; choked up +with too much burying; fat with repleted appetite. A +worthy place! + +The Spirit stood among the graves, and pointed down to +One. He advanced towards it trembling. The Phantom was +exactly as it had been, but he dreaded that he saw new +meaning in its solemn shape. + +"Before I draw nearer to that stone to which you point," +said Scrooge, "answer me one question. Are these the +shadows of the things that Will be, or are they shadows of +things that May be, only?" + +Still the Ghost pointed downward to the grave by which +it stood. + +"Men's courses will foreshadow certain ends, to which, if +persevered in, they must lead," said Scrooge. "But if the +courses be departed from, the ends will change. Say it is +thus with what you show me!" + +The Spirit was immovable as ever. + +Scrooge crept towards it, trembling as he went; and +following the finger, read upon the stone of the neglected +grave his own name, EBENEZER SCROOGE. + +"Am I that man who lay upon the bed?" he cried, upon +his knees. + +The finger pointed from the grave to him, and back again. + +"No, Spirit! Oh no, no!" + +The finger still was there. + +"Spirit!" he cried, tight clutching at its robe, "hear me! +I am not the man I was. I will not be the man I must +have been but for this intercourse. Why show me this, if I +am past all hope!" + +For the first time the hand appeared to shake. + +"Good Spirit," he pursued, as down upon the ground he +fell before it: "Your nature intercedes for me, and pities +me. Assure me that I yet may change these shadows you +have shown me, by an altered life!" + +The kind hand trembled. + +"I will honour Christmas in my heart, and try to keep it +all the year. I will live in the Past, the Present, and the +Future. The Spirits of all Three shall strive within me. I +will not shut out the lessons that they teach. Oh, tell me I +may sponge away the writing on this stone!" + +In his agony, he caught the spectral hand. It sought to +free itself, but he was strong in his entreaty, and detained it. +The Spirit, stronger yet, repulsed him. + +Holding up his hands in a last prayer to have his fate +reversed, he saw an alteration in the Phantom's hood and dress. +It shrunk, collapsed, and dwindled down into a bedpost. + + +STAVE V: THE END OF IT + +YES! and the bedpost was his own. The bed was his own, +the room was his own. Best and happiest of all, the Time +before him was his own, to make amends in! + +"I will live in the Past, the Present, and the Future!" +Scrooge repeated, as he scrambled out of bed. "The Spirits +of all Three shall strive within me. Oh Jacob Marley! +Heaven, and the Christmas Time be praised for this! I say +it on my knees, old Jacob; on my knees!" + +He was so fluttered and so glowing with his good intentions, +that his broken voice would scarcely answer to his +call. He had been sobbing violently in his conflict with the +Spirit, and his face was wet with tears. + +"They are not torn down," cried Scrooge, folding one of +his bed-curtains in his arms, "they are not torn down, rings +and all. They are here--I am here--the shadows of the +things that would have been, may be dispelled. They will +be. I know they will!" + +His hands were busy with his garments all this time; +turning them inside out, putting them on upside down, +tearing them, mislaying them, making them parties to every +kind of extravagance. + +"I don't know what to do!" cried Scrooge, laughing and +crying in the same breath; and making a perfect Laocooen of +himself with his stockings. "I am as light as a feather, I +am as happy as an angel, I am as merry as a schoolboy. I +am as giddy as a drunken man. A merry Christmas to +everybody! A happy New Year to all the world. Hallo +here! Whoop! Hallo!" + +He had frisked into the sitting-room, and was now standing +there: perfectly winded. + +"There's the saucepan that the gruel was in!" cried +Scrooge, starting off again, and going round the fireplace. +"There's the door, by which the Ghost of Jacob Marley +entered! There's the corner where the Ghost of Christmas +Present, sat! There's the window where I saw the wandering +Spirits! It's all right, it's all true, it all happened. +Ha ha ha!" + +Really, for a man who had been out of practice for so +many years, it was a splendid laugh, a most illustrious laugh. +The father of a long, long line of brilliant laughs! + +"I don't know what day of the month it is!" said +Scrooge. "I don't know how long I've been among the +Spirits. I don't know anything. I'm quite a baby. Never +mind. I don't care. I'd rather be a baby. Hallo! Whoop! +Hallo here!" + +He was checked in his transports by the churches ringing +out the lustiest peals he had ever heard. Clash, clang, +hammer; ding, dong, bell. Bell, dong, ding; hammer, clang, +clash! Oh, glorious, glorious! + +Running to the window, he opened it, and put out his +head. No fog, no mist; clear, bright, jovial, stirring, cold; +cold, piping for the blood to dance to; Golden sunlight; +Heavenly sky; sweet fresh air; merry bells. Oh, glorious! +Glorious! + +"What's to-day!" cried Scrooge, calling downward to a +boy in Sunday clothes, who perhaps had loitered in to look +about him. + +"EH?" returned the boy, with all his might of wonder. + +"What's to-day, my fine fellow?" said Scrooge. + +"To-day!" replied the boy. "Why, CHRISTMAS DAY." + +"It's Christmas Day!" said Scrooge to himself. "I +haven't missed it. The Spirits have done it all in one night. +They can do anything they like. Of course they can. Of +course they can. Hallo, my fine fellow!" + +"Hallo!" returned the boy. + +"Do you know the Poulterer's, in the next street but one, +at the corner?" Scrooge inquired. + +"I should hope I did," replied the lad. + +"An intelligent boy!" said Scrooge. "A remarkable boy! +Do you know whether they've sold the prize Turkey that +was hanging up there?--Not the little prize Turkey: the +big one?" + +"What, the one as big as me?" returned the boy. + +"What a delightful boy!" said Scrooge. "It's a pleasure +to talk to him. Yes, my buck!" + +"It's hanging there now," replied the boy. + +"Is it?" said Scrooge. "Go and buy it." + +"Walk-ER!" exclaimed the boy. + +"No, no," said Scrooge, "I am in earnest. Go and buy +it, and tell 'em to bring it here, that I may give them the +direction where to take it. Come back with the man, and +I'll give you a shilling. Come back with him in less than +five minutes and I'll give you half-a-crown!" + +The boy was off like a shot. He must have had a steady +hand at a trigger who could have got a shot off half so fast. + +"I'll send it to Bob Cratchit's!" whispered Scrooge, +rubbing his hands, and splitting with a laugh. "He sha'n't +know who sends it. It's twice the size of Tiny Tim. Joe +Miller never made such a joke as sending it to Bob's +will be!" + +The hand in which he wrote the address was not a steady +one, but write it he did, somehow, and went down-stairs to +open the street door, ready for the coming of the poulterer's +man. As he stood there, waiting his arrival, the knocker +caught his eye. + +"I shall love it, as long as I live!" cried Scrooge, patting +it with his hand. "I scarcely ever looked at it before. +What an honest expression it has in its face! It's a +wonderful knocker!--Here's the Turkey! Hallo! Whoop! +How are you! Merry Christmas!" + +It was a Turkey! He never could have stood upon his +legs, that bird. He would have snapped 'em short off in a +minute, like sticks of sealing-wax. + +"Why, it's impossible to carry that to Camden Town," +said Scrooge. "You must have a cab." + +The chuckle with which he said this, and the chuckle with +which he paid for the Turkey, and the chuckle with which +he paid for the cab, and the chuckle with which he recompensed +the boy, were only to be exceeded by the chuckle +with which he sat down breathless in his chair again, and +chuckled till he cried. + +Shaving was not an easy task, for his hand continued to +shake very much; and shaving requires attention, even when +you don't dance while you are at it. But if he had cut the +end of his nose off, he would have put a piece of +sticking-plaister over it, and been quite satisfied. + +He dressed himself "all in his best," and at last got out +into the streets. The people were by this time pouring forth, +as he had seen them with the Ghost of Christmas Present; +and walking with his hands behind him, Scrooge regarded +every one with a delighted smile. He looked so irresistibly +pleasant, in a word, that three or four good-humoured fellows +said, "Good morning, sir! A merry Christmas to you!" +And Scrooge said often afterwards, that of all the blithe +sounds he had ever heard, those were the blithest in his ears. + +He had not gone far, when coming on towards him he +beheld the portly gentleman, who had walked into his +counting-house the day before, and said, "Scrooge and Marley's, I +believe?" It sent a pang across his heart to think how this +old gentleman would look upon him when they met; but he +knew what path lay straight before him, and he took it. + +"My dear sir," said Scrooge, quickening his pace, and +taking the old gentleman by both his hands. "How do you +do? I hope you succeeded yesterday. It was very kind of +you. A merry Christmas to you, sir!" + +"Mr. Scrooge?" + +"Yes," said Scrooge. "That is my name, and I fear it +may not be pleasant to you. Allow me to ask your pardon. +And will you have the goodness"--here Scrooge whispered in +his ear. + +"Lord bless me!" cried the gentleman, as if his breath +were taken away. "My dear Mr. Scrooge, are you serious?" + +"If you please," said Scrooge. "Not a farthing less. A +great many back-payments are included in it, I assure you. +Will you do me that favour?" + +"My dear sir," said the other, shaking hands with him. +"I don't know what to say to such munifi--" + +"Don't say anything, please," retorted Scrooge. "Come +and see me. Will you come and see me?" + +"I will!" cried the old gentleman. And it was clear he +meant to do it. + +"Thank'ee," said Scrooge. "I am much obliged to you. +I thank you fifty times. Bless you!" + +He went to church, and walked about the streets, and +watched the people hurrying to and fro, and patted children +on the head, and questioned beggars, and looked down into +the kitchens of houses, and up to the windows, and found +that everything could yield him pleasure. He had never +dreamed that any walk--that anything--could give him so +much happiness. In the afternoon he turned his steps +towards his nephew's house. + +He passed the door a dozen times, before he had the +courage to go up and knock. But he made a dash, and +did it: + +"Is your master at home, my dear?" said Scrooge to the +girl. Nice girl! Very. + +"Yes, sir." + +"Where is he, my love?" said Scrooge. + +"He's in the dining-room, sir, along with mistress. I'll +show you up-stairs, if you please." + +"Thank'ee. He knows me," said Scrooge, with his hand +already on the dining-room lock. "I'll go in here, my dear." + +He turned it gently, and sidled his face in, round the door. +They were looking at the table (which was spread out in +great array); for these young housekeepers are always nervous +on such points, and like to see that everything is right. + +"Fred!" said Scrooge. + +Dear heart alive, how his niece by marriage started! +Scrooge had forgotten, for the moment, about her sitting +in the corner with the footstool, or he wouldn't have done +it, on any account. + +"Why bless my soul!" cried Fred, "who's that?" + +"It's I. Your uncle Scrooge. I have come to dinner. +Will you let me in, Fred?" + +Let him in! It is a mercy he didn't shake his arm off. +He was at home in five minutes. Nothing could be heartier. +His niece looked just the same. So did Topper when he +came. So did the plump sister when she came. So did +every one when they came. Wonderful party, wonderful +games, wonderful unanimity, won-der-ful happiness! + +But he was early at the office next morning. Oh, he was +early there. If he could only be there first, and catch Bob +Cratchit coming late! That was the thing he had set his +heart upon. + +And he did it; yes, he did! The clock struck nine. No +Bob. A quarter past. No Bob. He was full eighteen +minutes and a half behind his time. Scrooge sat with his +door wide open, that he might see him come into the Tank. + +His hat was off, before he opened the door; his comforter +too. He was on his stool in a jiffy; driving away with his +pen, as if he were trying to overtake nine o'clock. + +"Hallo!" growled Scrooge, in his accustomed voice, as +near as he could feign it. "What do you mean by coming +here at this time of day?" + +"I am very sorry, sir," said Bob. "I am behind my time." + +"You are?" repeated Scrooge. "Yes. I think you are. +Step this way, sir, if you please." + +"It's only once a year, sir," pleaded Bob, appearing from +the Tank. "It shall not be repeated. I was making rather +merry yesterday, sir." + +"Now, I'll tell you what, my friend," said Scrooge, "I +am not going to stand this sort of thing any longer. And +therefore," he continued, leaping from his stool, and giving +Bob such a dig in the waistcoat that he staggered back into +the Tank again; "and therefore I am about to raise your +salary!" + +Bob trembled, and got a little nearer to the ruler. He +had a momentary idea of knocking Scrooge down with it, +holding him, and calling to the people in the court for help +and a strait-waistcoat. + +"A merry Christmas, Bob!" said Scrooge, with an earnestness +that could not be mistaken, as he clapped him on the +back. "A merrier Christmas, Bob, my good fellow, than I +have given you, for many a year! I'll raise your salary, and +endeavour to assist your struggling family, and we will discuss +your affairs this very afternoon, over a Christmas bowl of +smoking bishop, Bob! Make up the fires, and buy another +coal-scuttle before you dot another i, Bob Cratchit!" + + +Scrooge was better than his word. He did it all, and +infinitely more; and to Tiny Tim, who did NOT die, he was +a second father. He became as good a friend, as good a +master, and as good a man, as the good old city knew, or +any other good old city, town, or borough, in the good old +world. Some people laughed to see the alteration in him, +but he let them laugh, and little heeded them; for he was +wise enough to know that nothing ever happened on this +globe, for good, at which some people did not have their fill +of laughter in the outset; and knowing that such as these +would be blind anyway, he thought it quite as well that they +should wrinkle up their eyes in grins, as have the malady in +less attractive forms. His own heart laughed: and that was +quite enough for him. + +He had no further intercourse with Spirits, but lived upon +the Total Abstinence Principle, ever afterwards; and it was +always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas +well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that +be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Tim +observed, God bless Us, Every One! \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Text3.txt b/Text3.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..1a0f084 --- /dev/null +++ b/Text3.txt @@ -0,0 +1,20022 @@ +GREAT EXPECTATIONS + +by Charles Dickens + + +[Project Gutenberg Editor's Note: There is also another version of +this work etext98/grexp10.txt scanned from a different edition] + + + + +Chapter I + +My father's family name being Pirrip, and my Christian name Philip, my +infant tongue could make of both names nothing longer or more explicit +than Pip. So, I called myself Pip, and came to be called Pip. + +I give Pirrip as my father's family name, on the authority of his +tombstone and my sister,--Mrs. Joe Gargery, who married the blacksmith. +As I never saw my father or my mother, and never saw any likeness +of either of them (for their days were long before the days of +photographs), my first fancies regarding what they were like were +unreasonably derived from their tombstones. The shape of the letters on +my father's, gave me an odd idea that he was a square, stout, dark man, +with curly black hair. From the character and turn of the inscription, +"Also Georgiana Wife of the Above," I drew a childish conclusion that +my mother was freckled and sickly. To five little stone lozenges, each +about a foot and a half long, which were arranged in a neat row beside +their grave, and were sacred to the memory of five little brothers of +mine,--who gave up trying to get a living, exceedingly early in +that universal struggle,--I am indebted for a belief I religiously +entertained that they had all been born on their backs with their hands +in their trousers-pockets, and had never taken them out in this state of +existence. + +Ours was the marsh country, down by the river, within, as the river +wound, twenty miles of the sea. My first most vivid and broad impression +of the identity of things seems to me to have been gained on a memorable +raw afternoon towards evening. At such a time I found out for certain +that this bleak place overgrown with nettles was the churchyard; and +that Philip Pirrip, late of this parish, and also Georgiana wife of the +above, were dead and buried; and that Alexander, Bartholomew, Abraham, +Tobias, and Roger, infant children of the aforesaid, were also dead +and buried; and that the dark flat wilderness beyond the churchyard, +intersected with dikes and mounds and gates, with scattered cattle +feeding on it, was the marshes; and that the low leaden line beyond +was the river; and that the distant savage lair from which the wind was +rushing was the sea; and that the small bundle of shivers growing afraid +of it all and beginning to cry, was Pip. + +"Hold your noise!" cried a terrible voice, as a man started up from +among the graves at the side of the church porch. "Keep still, you +little devil, or I'll cut your throat!" + +A fearful man, all in coarse gray, with a great iron on his leg. A man +with no hat, and with broken shoes, and with an old rag tied round his +head. A man who had been soaked in water, and smothered in mud, and +lamed by stones, and cut by flints, and stung by nettles, and torn by +briars; who limped, and shivered, and glared, and growled; and whose +teeth chattered in his head as he seized me by the chin. + +"Oh! Don't cut my throat, sir," I pleaded in terror. "Pray don't do it, +sir." + +"Tell us your name!" said the man. "Quick!" + +"Pip, sir." + +"Once more," said the man, staring at me. "Give it mouth!" + +"Pip. Pip, sir." + +"Show us where you live," said the man. "Pint out the place!" + +I pointed to where our village lay, on the flat in-shore among the +alder-trees and pollards, a mile or more from the church. + +The man, after looking at me for a moment, turned me upside down, and +emptied my pockets. There was nothing in them but a piece of bread. When +the church came to itself,--for he was so sudden and strong that he +made it go head over heels before me, and I saw the steeple under my +feet,--when the church came to itself, I say, I was seated on a high +tombstone, trembling while he ate the bread ravenously. + +"You young dog," said the man, licking his lips, "what fat cheeks you +ha' got." + +I believe they were fat, though I was at that time undersized for my +years, and not strong. + +"Darn me if I couldn't eat em," said the man, with a threatening shake +of his head, "and if I han't half a mind to't!" + +I earnestly expressed my hope that he wouldn't, and held tighter to +the tombstone on which he had put me; partly, to keep myself upon it; +partly, to keep myself from crying. + +"Now lookee here!" said the man. "Where's your mother?" + +"There, sir!" said I. + +He started, made a short run, and stopped and looked over his shoulder. + +"There, sir!" I timidly explained. "Also Georgiana. That's my mother." + +"Oh!" said he, coming back. "And is that your father alonger your +mother?" + +"Yes, sir," said I; "him too; late of this parish." + +"Ha!" he muttered then, considering. "Who d'ye live with,--supposin' +you're kindly let to live, which I han't made up my mind about?" + +"My sister, sir,--Mrs. Joe Gargery,--wife of Joe Gargery, the +blacksmith, sir." + +"Blacksmith, eh?" said he. And looked down at his leg. + +After darkly looking at his leg and me several times, he came closer +to my tombstone, took me by both arms, and tilted me back as far as he +could hold me; so that his eyes looked most powerfully down into mine, +and mine looked most helplessly up into his. + +"Now lookee here," he said, "the question being whether you're to be let +to live. You know what a file is?" + +"Yes, sir." + +"And you know what wittles is?" + +"Yes, sir." + +After each question he tilted me over a little more, so as to give me a +greater sense of helplessness and danger. + +"You get me a file." He tilted me again. "And you get me wittles." He +tilted me again. "You bring 'em both to me." He tilted me again. "Or +I'll have your heart and liver out." He tilted me again. + +I was dreadfully frightened, and so giddy that I clung to him with both +hands, and said, "If you would kindly please to let me keep upright, +sir, perhaps I shouldn't be sick, and perhaps I could attend more." + +He gave me a most tremendous dip and roll, so that the church jumped +over its own weathercock. Then, he held me by the arms, in an upright +position on the top of the stone, and went on in these fearful terms:-- + +"You bring me, to-morrow morning early, that file and them wittles. You +bring the lot to me, at that old Battery over yonder. You do it, and you +never dare to say a word or dare to make a sign concerning your having +seen such a person as me, or any person sumever, and you shall be let to +live. You fail, or you go from my words in any partickler, no matter how +small it is, and your heart and your liver shall be tore out, roasted, +and ate. Now, I ain't alone, as you may think I am. There's a young man +hid with me, in comparison with which young man I am a Angel. That young +man hears the words I speak. That young man has a secret way pecooliar +to himself, of getting at a boy, and at his heart, and at his liver. It +is in wain for a boy to attempt to hide himself from that young man. A +boy may lock his door, may be warm in bed, may tuck himself up, may draw +the clothes over his head, may think himself comfortable and safe, but +that young man will softly creep and creep his way to him and tear him +open. I am a keeping that young man from harming of you at the present +moment, with great difficulty. I find it wery hard to hold that young +man off of your inside. Now, what do you say?" + +I said that I would get him the file, and I would get him what broken +bits of food I could, and I would come to him at the Battery, early in +the morning. + +"Say Lord strike you dead if you don't!" said the man. + +I said so, and he took me down. + +"Now," he pursued, "you remember what you've undertook, and you remember +that young man, and you get home!" + +"Goo-good night, sir," I faltered. + +"Much of that!" said he, glancing about him over the cold wet flat. "I +wish I was a frog. Or a eel!" + +At the same time, he hugged his shuddering body in both his +arms,--clasping himself, as if to hold himself together,--and limped +towards the low church wall. As I saw him go, picking his way among the +nettles, and among the brambles that bound the green mounds, he looked +in my young eyes as if he were eluding the hands of the dead people, +stretching up cautiously out of their graves, to get a twist upon his +ankle and pull him in. + +When he came to the low church wall, he got over it, like a man whose +legs were numbed and stiff, and then turned round to look for me. When I +saw him turning, I set my face towards home, and made the best use of +my legs. But presently I looked over my shoulder, and saw him going on +again towards the river, still hugging himself in both arms, and picking +his way with his sore feet among the great stones dropped into the +marshes here and there, for stepping-places when the rains were heavy or +the tide was in. + +The marshes were just a long black horizontal line then, as I stopped +to look after him; and the river was just another horizontal line, not +nearly so broad nor yet so black; and the sky was just a row of long +angry red lines and dense black lines intermixed. On the edge of the +river I could faintly make out the only two black things in all the +prospect that seemed to be standing upright; one of these was the beacon +by which the sailors steered,--like an unhooped cask upon a pole,--an +ugly thing when you were near it; the other, a gibbet, with some chains +hanging to it which had once held a pirate. The man was limping on +towards this latter, as if he were the pirate come to life, and come +down, and going back to hook himself up again. It gave me a terrible +turn when I thought so; and as I saw the cattle lifting their heads to +gaze after him, I wondered whether they thought so too. I looked all +round for the horrible young man, and could see no signs of him. But now +I was frightened again, and ran home without stopping. + + + + +Chapter II + +My sister, Mrs. Joe Gargery, was more than twenty years older than I, +and had established a great reputation with herself and the neighbors +because she had brought me up "by hand." Having at that time to find out +for myself what the expression meant, and knowing her to have a hard and +heavy hand, and to be much in the habit of laying it upon her husband as +well as upon me, I supposed that Joe Gargery and I were both brought up +by hand. + +She was not a good-looking woman, my sister; and I had a general +impression that she must have made Joe Gargery marry her by hand. Joe +was a fair man, with curls of flaxen hair on each side of his smooth +face, and with eyes of such a very undecided blue that they seemed +to have somehow got mixed with their own whites. He was a mild, +good-natured, sweet-tempered, easy-going, foolish, dear fellow,--a sort +of Hercules in strength, and also in weakness. + +My sister, Mrs. Joe, with black hair and eyes, had such a prevailing +redness of skin that I sometimes used to wonder whether it was possible +she washed herself with a nutmeg-grater instead of soap. She was tall +and bony, and almost always wore a coarse apron, fastened over her +figure behind with two loops, and having a square impregnable bib in +front, that was stuck full of pins and needles. She made it a powerful +merit in herself, and a strong reproach against Joe, that she wore this +apron so much. Though I really see no reason why she should have worn it +at all; or why, if she did wear it at all, she should not have taken it +off, every day of her life. + +Joe's forge adjoined our house, which was a wooden house, as many of the +dwellings in our country were,--most of them, at that time. When I ran +home from the churchyard, the forge was shut up, and Joe was sitting +alone in the kitchen. Joe and I being fellow-sufferers, and having +confidences as such, Joe imparted a confidence to me, the moment I +raised the latch of the door and peeped in at him opposite to it, +sitting in the chimney corner. + +"Mrs. Joe has been out a dozen times, looking for you, Pip. And she's +out now, making it a baker's dozen." + +"Is she?" + +"Yes, Pip," said Joe; "and what's worse, she's got Tickler with her." + +At this dismal intelligence, I twisted the only button on my waistcoat +round and round, and looked in great depression at the fire. Tickler +was a wax-ended piece of cane, worn smooth by collision with my tickled +frame. + +"She sot down," said Joe, "and she got up, and she made a grab at +Tickler, and she Ram-paged out. That's what she did," said Joe, slowly +clearing the fire between the lower bars with the poker, and looking at +it; "she Ram-paged out, Pip." + +"Has she been gone long, Joe?" I always treated him as a larger species +of child, and as no more than my equal. + +"Well," said Joe, glancing up at the Dutch clock, "she's been on the +Ram-page, this last spell, about five minutes, Pip. She's a coming! Get +behind the door, old chap, and have the jack-towel betwixt you." + +I took the advice. My sister, Mrs. Joe, throwing the door wide open, +and finding an obstruction behind it, immediately divined the cause, and +applied Tickler to its further investigation. She concluded by throwing +me--I often served as a connubial missile--at Joe, who, glad to get hold +of me on any terms, passed me on into the chimney and quietly fenced me +up there with his great leg. + +"Where have you been, you young monkey?" said Mrs. Joe, stamping her +foot. "Tell me directly what you've been doing to wear me away with fret +and fright and worrit, or I'd have you out of that corner if you was +fifty Pips, and he was five hundred Gargerys." + +"I have only been to the churchyard," said I, from my stool, crying and +rubbing myself. + +"Churchyard!" repeated my sister. "If it warn't for me you'd have been +to the churchyard long ago, and stayed there. Who brought you up by +hand?" + +"You did," said I. + +"And why did I do it, I should like to know?" exclaimed my sister. + +I whimpered, "I don't know." + +"I don't!" said my sister. "I'd never do it again! I know that. I may +truly say I've never had this apron of mine off since born you were. +It's bad enough to be a blacksmith's wife (and him a Gargery) without +being your mother." + +My thoughts strayed from that question as I looked disconsolately at +the fire. For the fugitive out on the marshes with the ironed leg, the +mysterious young man, the file, the food, and the dreadful pledge I was +under to commit a larceny on those sheltering premises, rose before me +in the avenging coals. + +"Hah!" said Mrs. Joe, restoring Tickler to his station. "Churchyard, +indeed! You may well say churchyard, you two." One of us, by the by, had +not said it at all. "You'll drive me to the churchyard betwixt you, one +of these days, and O, a pr-r-recious pair you'd be without me!" + +As she applied herself to set the tea-things, Joe peeped down at me +over his leg, as if he were mentally casting me and himself up, and +calculating what kind of pair we practically should make, under the +grievous circumstances foreshadowed. After that, he sat feeling his +right-side flaxen curls and whisker, and following Mrs. Joe about with +his blue eyes, as his manner always was at squally times. + +My sister had a trenchant way of cutting our bread and butter for us, +that never varied. First, with her left hand she jammed the loaf hard +and fast against her bib,--where it sometimes got a pin into it, and +sometimes a needle, which we afterwards got into our mouths. Then she +took some butter (not too much) on a knife and spread it on the loaf, in +an apothecary kind of way, as if she were making a plaster,--using both +sides of the knife with a slapping dexterity, and trimming and moulding +the butter off round the crust. Then, she gave the knife a final smart +wipe on the edge of the plaster, and then sawed a very thick round off +the loaf: which she finally, before separating from the loaf, hewed into +two halves, of which Joe got one, and I the other. + +On the present occasion, though I was hungry, I dared not eat my +slice. I felt that I must have something in reserve for my dreadful +acquaintance, and his ally the still more dreadful young man. I knew +Mrs. Joe's housekeeping to be of the strictest kind, and that my +larcenous researches might find nothing available in the safe. Therefore +I resolved to put my hunk of bread and butter down the leg of my +trousers. + +The effort of resolution necessary to the achievement of this purpose I +found to be quite awful. It was as if I had to make up my mind to leap +from the top of a high house, or plunge into a great depth of water. +And it was made the more difficult by the unconscious Joe. In +our already-mentioned freemasonry as fellow-sufferers, and in his +good-natured companionship with me, it was our evening habit to compare +the way we bit through our slices, by silently holding them up to each +other's admiration now and then,--which stimulated us to new exertions. +To-night, Joe several times invited me, by the display of his fast +diminishing slice, to enter upon our usual friendly competition; but +he found me, each time, with my yellow mug of tea on one knee, and +my untouched bread and butter on the other. At last, I desperately +considered that the thing I contemplated must be done, and that it +had best be done in the least improbable manner consistent with the +circumstances. I took advantage of a moment when Joe had just looked at +me, and got my bread and butter down my leg. + +Joe was evidently made uncomfortable by what he supposed to be my loss +of appetite, and took a thoughtful bite out of his slice, which he +didn't seem to enjoy. He turned it about in his mouth much longer than +usual, pondering over it a good deal, and after all gulped it down like +a pill. He was about to take another bite, and had just got his head on +one side for a good purchase on it, when his eye fell on me, and he saw +that my bread and butter was gone. + +The wonder and consternation with which Joe stopped on the threshold +of his bite and stared at me, were too evident to escape my sister's +observation. + +"What's the matter now?" said she, smartly, as she put down her cup. + +"I say, you know!" muttered Joe, shaking his head at me in very serious +remonstrance. "Pip, old chap! You'll do yourself a mischief. It'll stick +somewhere. You can't have chawed it, Pip." + +"What's the matter now?" repeated my sister, more sharply than before. + +"If you can cough any trifle on it up, Pip, I'd recommend you to do it," +said Joe, all aghast. "Manners is manners, but still your elth's your +elth." + +By this time, my sister was quite desperate, so she pounced on Joe, +and, taking him by the two whiskers, knocked his head for a little while +against the wall behind him, while I sat in the corner, looking guiltily +on. + +"Now, perhaps you'll mention what's the matter," said my sister, out of +breath, "you staring great stuck pig." + +Joe looked at her in a helpless way, then took a helpless bite, and +looked at me again. + +"You know, Pip," said Joe, solemnly, with his last bite in his cheek, +and speaking in a confidential voice, as if we two were quite alone, +"you and me is always friends, and I'd be the last to tell upon you, +any time. But such a--" he moved his chair and looked about the floor +between us, and then again at me--"such a most oncommon Bolt as that!" + +"Been bolting his food, has he?" cried my sister. + +"You know, old chap," said Joe, looking at me, and not at Mrs. Joe, +with his bite still in his cheek, "I Bolted, myself, when I was your +age--frequent--and as a boy I've been among a many Bolters; but I never +see your Bolting equal yet, Pip, and it's a mercy you ain't Bolted +dead." + +My sister made a dive at me, and fished me up by the hair, saying +nothing more than the awful words, "You come along and be dosed." + +Some medical beast had revived Tar-water in those days as a fine +medicine, and Mrs. Joe always kept a supply of it in the cupboard; +having a belief in its virtues correspondent to its nastiness. At the +best of times, so much of this elixir was administered to me as a choice +restorative, that I was conscious of going about, smelling like a new +fence. On this particular evening the urgency of my case demanded a +pint of this mixture, which was poured down my throat, for my greater +comfort, while Mrs. Joe held my head under her arm, as a boot would +be held in a bootjack. Joe got off with half a pint; but was made to +swallow that (much to his disturbance, as he sat slowly munching and +meditating before the fire), "because he had had a turn." Judging from +myself, I should say he certainly had a turn afterwards, if he had had +none before. + +Conscience is a dreadful thing when it accuses man or boy; but when, in +the case of a boy, that secret burden co-operates with another secret +burden down the leg of his trousers, it is (as I can testify) a great +punishment. The guilty knowledge that I was going to rob Mrs. Joe--I +never thought I was going to rob Joe, for I never thought of any of the +housekeeping property as his--united to the necessity of always keeping +one hand on my bread and butter as I sat, or when I was ordered about +the kitchen on any small errand, almost drove me out of my mind. Then, +as the marsh winds made the fire glow and flare, I thought I heard the +voice outside, of the man with the iron on his leg who had sworn me to +secrecy, declaring that he couldn't and wouldn't starve until to-morrow, +but must be fed now. At other times, I thought, What if the young man +who was with so much difficulty restrained from imbruing his hands in me +should yield to a constitutional impatience, or should mistake the time, +and should think himself accredited to my heart and liver to-night, +instead of to-morrow! If ever anybody's hair stood on end with terror, +mine must have done so then. But, perhaps, nobody's ever did? + +It was Christmas Eve, and I had to stir the pudding for next day, with +a copper-stick, from seven to eight by the Dutch clock. I tried it with +the load upon my leg (and that made me think afresh of the man with the +load on HIS leg), and found the tendency of exercise to bring the bread +and butter out at my ankle, quite unmanageable. Happily I slipped away, +and deposited that part of my conscience in my garret bedroom. + +"Hark!" said I, when I had done my stirring, and was taking a final warm +in the chimney corner before being sent up to bed; "was that great guns, +Joe?" + +"Ah!" said Joe. "There's another conwict off." + +"What does that mean, Joe?" said I. + +Mrs. Joe, who always took explanations upon herself, said, snappishly, +"Escaped. Escaped." Administering the definition like Tar-water. + +While Mrs. Joe sat with her head bending over her needlework, I put my +mouth into the forms of saying to Joe, "What's a convict?" Joe put his +mouth into the forms of returning such a highly elaborate answer, that I +could make out nothing of it but the single word "Pip." + +"There was a conwict off last night," said Joe, aloud, "after +sunset-gun. And they fired warning of him. And now it appears they're +firing warning of another." + +"Who's firing?" said I. + +"Drat that boy," interposed my sister, frowning at me over her work, +"what a questioner he is. Ask no questions, and you'll be told no lies." + +It was not very polite to herself, I thought, to imply that I should be +told lies by her even if I did ask questions. But she never was polite +unless there was company. + +At this point Joe greatly augmented my curiosity by taking the utmost +pains to open his mouth very wide, and to put it into the form of a word +that looked to me like "sulks." Therefore, I naturally pointed to Mrs. +Joe, and put my mouth into the form of saying, "her?" But Joe wouldn't +hear of that, at all, and again opened his mouth very wide, and shook +the form of a most emphatic word out of it. But I could make nothing of +the word. + +"Mrs. Joe," said I, as a last resort, "I should like to know--if you +wouldn't much mind--where the firing comes from?" + +"Lord bless the boy!" exclaimed my sister, as if she didn't quite mean +that but rather the contrary. "From the Hulks!" + +"Oh-h!" said I, looking at Joe. "Hulks!" + +Joe gave a reproachful cough, as much as to say, "Well, I told you so." + +"And please, what's Hulks?" said I. + +"That's the way with this boy!" exclaimed my sister, pointing me out +with her needle and thread, and shaking her head at me. "Answer him one +question, and he'll ask you a dozen directly. Hulks are prison-ships, +right 'cross th' meshes." We always used that name for marshes, in our +country. + +"I wonder who's put into prison-ships, and why they're put there?" said +I, in a general way, and with quiet desperation. + +It was too much for Mrs. Joe, who immediately rose. "I tell you what, +young fellow," said she, "I didn't bring you up by hand to badger +people's lives out. It would be blame to me and not praise, if I had. +People are put in the Hulks because they murder, and because they rob, +and forge, and do all sorts of bad; and they always begin by asking +questions. Now, you get along to bed!" + +I was never allowed a candle to light me to bed, and, as I went upstairs +in the dark, with my head tingling,--from Mrs. Joe's thimble +having played the tambourine upon it, to accompany her last words,--I +felt fearfully sensible of the great convenience that the hulks were +handy for me. I was clearly on my way there. I had begun by asking +questions, and I was going to rob Mrs. Joe. + +Since that time, which is far enough away now, I have often thought +that few people know what secrecy there is in the young under terror. +No matter how unreasonable the terror, so that it be terror. I was in +mortal terror of the young man who wanted my heart and liver; I was +in mortal terror of my interlocutor with the iron leg; I was in mortal +terror of myself, from whom an awful promise had been extracted; I had +no hope of deliverance through my all-powerful sister, who repulsed +me at every turn; I am afraid to think of what I might have done on +requirement, in the secrecy of my terror. + +If I slept at all that night, it was only to imagine myself drifting +down the river on a strong spring-tide, to the Hulks; a ghostly +pirate calling out to me through a speaking-trumpet, as I passed the +gibbet-station, that I had better come ashore and be hanged there at +once, and not put it off. I was afraid to sleep, even if I had been +inclined, for I knew that at the first faint dawn of morning I must rob +the pantry. There was no doing it in the night, for there was no getting +a light by easy friction then; to have got one I must have struck it out +of flint and steel, and have made a noise like the very pirate himself +rattling his chains. + +As soon as the great black velvet pall outside my little window was shot +with gray, I got up and went downstairs; every board upon the way, and +every crack in every board calling after me, "Stop thief!" and "Get up, +Mrs. Joe!" In the pantry, which was far more abundantly supplied than +usual, owing to the season, I was very much alarmed by a hare hanging +up by the heels, whom I rather thought I caught, when my back was half +turned, winking. I had no time for verification, no time for selection, +no time for anything, for I had no time to spare. I stole some bread, +some rind of cheese, about half a jar of mincemeat (which I tied up in +my pocket-handkerchief with my last night's slice), some brandy from a +stone bottle (which I decanted into a glass bottle I had secretly used +for making that intoxicating fluid, Spanish-liquorice-water, up in my +room: diluting the stone bottle from a jug in the kitchen cupboard), +a meat bone with very little on it, and a beautiful round compact pork +pie. I was nearly going away without the pie, but I was tempted to mount +upon a shelf, to look what it was that was put away so carefully in a +covered earthenware dish in a corner, and I found it was the pie, and +I took it in the hope that it was not intended for early use, and would +not be missed for some time. + +There was a door in the kitchen, communicating with the forge; I +unlocked and unbolted that door, and got a file from among Joe's tools. +Then I put the fastenings as I had found them, opened the door at which +I had entered when I ran home last night, shut it, and ran for the misty +marshes. + + + + +Chapter III + +It was a rimy morning, and very damp. I had seen the damp lying on the +outside of my little window, as if some goblin had been crying there all +night, and using the window for a pocket-handkerchief. Now, I saw the +damp lying on the bare hedges and spare grass, like a coarser sort of +spiders' webs; hanging itself from twig to twig and blade to blade. On +every rail and gate, wet lay clammy, and the marsh mist was so thick, +that the wooden finger on the post directing people to our village--a +direction which they never accepted, for they never came there--was +invisible to me until I was quite close under it. Then, as I looked up +at it, while it dripped, it seemed to my oppressed conscience like a +phantom devoting me to the Hulks. + +The mist was heavier yet when I got out upon the marshes, so that +instead of my running at everything, everything seemed to run at me. +This was very disagreeable to a guilty mind. The gates and dikes and +banks came bursting at me through the mist, as if they cried as plainly +as could be, "A boy with somebody else's pork pie! Stop him!" The +cattle came upon me with like suddenness, staring out of their eyes, +and steaming out of their nostrils, "Halloa, young thief!" One black +ox, with a white cravat on,--who even had to my awakened conscience +something of a clerical air,--fixed me so obstinately with his eyes, +and moved his blunt head round in such an accusatory manner as I moved +round, that I blubbered out to him, "I couldn't help it, sir! It wasn't +for myself I took it!" Upon which he put down his head, blew a cloud of +smoke out of his nose, and vanished with a kick-up of his hind-legs and +a flourish of his tail. + +All this time, I was getting on towards the river; but however fast I +went, I couldn't warm my feet, to which the damp cold seemed riveted, as +the iron was riveted to the leg of the man I was running to meet. I knew +my way to the Battery, pretty straight, for I had been down there on a +Sunday with Joe, and Joe, sitting on an old gun, had told me that when +I was 'prentice to him, regularly bound, we would have such Larks there! +However, in the confusion of the mist, I found myself at last too far to +the right, and consequently had to try back along the river-side, on the +bank of loose stones above the mud and the stakes that staked the tide +out. Making my way along here with all despatch, I had just crossed a +ditch which I knew to be very near the Battery, and had just scrambled +up the mound beyond the ditch, when I saw the man sitting before me. +His back was towards me, and he had his arms folded, and was nodding +forward, heavy with sleep. + +I thought he would be more glad if I came upon him with his breakfast, +in that unexpected manner, so I went forward softly and touched him on +the shoulder. He instantly jumped up, and it was not the same man, but +another man! + +And yet this man was dressed in coarse gray, too, and had a great iron +on his leg, and was lame, and hoarse, and cold, and was everything that +the other man was; except that he had not the same face, and had a flat +broad-brimmed low-crowned felt hat on. All this I saw in a moment, for +I had only a moment to see it in: he swore an oath at me, made a hit at +me,--it was a round weak blow that missed me and almost knocked himself +down, for it made him stumble,--and then he ran into the mist, stumbling +twice as he went, and I lost him. + +"It's the young man!" I thought, feeling my heart shoot as I identified +him. I dare say I should have felt a pain in my liver, too, if I had +known where it was. + +I was soon at the Battery after that, and there was the right +man,--hugging himself and limping to and fro, as if he had never all +night left off hugging and limping,--waiting for me. He was awfully +cold, to be sure. I half expected to see him drop down before my face +and die of deadly cold. His eyes looked so awfully hungry too, that when +I handed him the file and he laid it down on the grass, it occurred to +me he would have tried to eat it, if he had not seen my bundle. He did +not turn me upside down this time to get at what I had, but left me +right side upwards while I opened the bundle and emptied my pockets. + +"What's in the bottle, boy?" said he. + +"Brandy," said I. + +He was already handing mincemeat down his throat in the most curious +manner,--more like a man who was putting it away somewhere in a violent +hurry, than a man who was eating it,--but he left off to take some of +the liquor. He shivered all the while so violently, that it was quite +as much as he could do to keep the neck of the bottle between his teeth, +without biting it off. + +"I think you have got the ague," said I. + +"I'm much of your opinion, boy," said he. + +"It's bad about here," I told him. "You've been lying out on the meshes, +and they're dreadful aguish. Rheumatic too." + +"I'll eat my breakfast afore they're the death of me," said he. "I'd do +that, if I was going to be strung up to that there gallows as there is +over there, directly afterwards. I'll beat the shivers so far, I'll bet +you." + +He was gobbling mincemeat, meatbone, bread, cheese, and pork pie, all +at once: staring distrustfully while he did so at the mist all round +us, and often stopping--even stopping his jaws--to listen. Some real or +fancied sound, some clink upon the river or breathing of beast upon the +marsh, now gave him a start, and he said, suddenly,-- + +"You're not a deceiving imp? You brought no one with you?" + +"No, sir! No!" + +"Nor giv' no one the office to follow you?" + +"No!" + +"Well," said he, "I believe you. You'd be but a fierce young hound +indeed, if at your time of life you could help to hunt a wretched +warmint hunted as near death and dunghill as this poor wretched warmint +is!" + +Something clicked in his throat as if he had works in him like a clock, +and was going to strike. And he smeared his ragged rough sleeve over his +eyes. + +Pitying his desolation, and watching him as he gradually settled down +upon the pie, I made bold to say, "I am glad you enjoy it." + +"Did you speak?" + +"I said I was glad you enjoyed it." + +"Thankee, my boy. I do." + +I had often watched a large dog of ours eating his food; and I now +noticed a decided similarity between the dog's way of eating, and the +man's. The man took strong sharp sudden bites, just like the dog. He +swallowed, or rather snapped up, every mouthful, too soon and too fast; +and he looked sideways here and there while he ate, as if he thought +there was danger in every direction of somebody's coming to take the pie +away. He was altogether too unsettled in his mind over it, to appreciate +it comfortably I thought, or to have anybody to dine with him, without +making a chop with his jaws at the visitor. In all of which particulars +he was very like the dog. + +"I am afraid you won't leave any of it for him," said I, timidly; after +a silence during which I had hesitated as to the politeness of making +the remark. "There's no more to be got where that came from." It was the +certainty of this fact that impelled me to offer the hint. + +"Leave any for him? Who's him?" said my friend, stopping in his +crunching of pie-crust. + +"The young man. That you spoke of. That was hid with you." + +"Oh ah!" he returned, with something like a gruff laugh. "Him? Yes, yes! +He don't want no wittles." + +"I thought he looked as if he did," said I. + +The man stopped eating, and regarded me with the keenest scrutiny and +the greatest surprise. + +"Looked? When?" + +"Just now." + +"Where?" + +"Yonder," said I, pointing; "over there, where I found him nodding +asleep, and thought it was you." + +He held me by the collar and stared at me so, that I began to think his +first idea about cutting my throat had revived. + +"Dressed like you, you know, only with a hat," I explained, trembling; +"and--and"--I was very anxious to put this delicately--"and with--the +same reason for wanting to borrow a file. Didn't you hear the cannon +last night?" + +"Then there was firing!" he said to himself. + +"I wonder you shouldn't have been sure of that," I returned, "for +we heard it up at home, and that's farther away, and we were shut in +besides." + +"Why, see now!" said he. "When a man's alone on these flats, with a +light head and a light stomach, perishing of cold and want, he hears +nothin' all night, but guns firing, and voices calling. Hears? He sees +the soldiers, with their red coats lighted up by the torches carried +afore, closing in round him. Hears his number called, hears himself +challenged, hears the rattle of the muskets, hears the orders 'Make +ready! Present! Cover him steady, men!' and is laid hands on--and +there's nothin'! Why, if I see one pursuing party last night--coming up +in order, Damn 'em, with their tramp, tramp--I see a hundred. And as to +firing! Why, I see the mist shake with the cannon, arter it was broad +day,--But this man"; he had said all the rest, as if he had forgotten my +being there; "did you notice anything in him?" + +"He had a badly bruised face," said I, recalling what I hardly knew I +knew. + +"Not here?" exclaimed the man, striking his left cheek mercilessly, with +the flat of his hand. + +"Yes, there!" + +"Where is he?" He crammed what little food was left, into the breast of +his gray jacket. "Show me the way he went. I'll pull him down, like a +bloodhound. Curse this iron on my sore leg! Give us hold of the file, +boy." + +I indicated in what direction the mist had shrouded the other man, +and he looked up at it for an instant. But he was down on the rank wet +grass, filing at his iron like a madman, and not minding me or minding +his own leg, which had an old chafe upon it and was bloody, but which he +handled as roughly as if it had no more feeling in it than the file. I +was very much afraid of him again, now that he had worked himself into +this fierce hurry, and I was likewise very much afraid of keeping away +from home any longer. I told him I must go, but he took no notice, so +I thought the best thing I could do was to slip off. The last I saw +of him, his head was bent over his knee and he was working hard at his +fetter, muttering impatient imprecations at it and at his leg. The last +I heard of him, I stopped in the mist to listen, and the file was still +going. + + + + +Chapter IV + +I fully expected to find a Constable in the kitchen, waiting to take me +up. But not only was there no Constable there, but no discovery had yet +been made of the robbery. Mrs. Joe was prodigiously busy in getting the +house ready for the festivities of the day, and Joe had been put upon +the kitchen doorstep to keep him out of the dust-pan,--an article into +which his destiny always led him, sooner or later, when my sister was +vigorously reaping the floors of her establishment. + +"And where the deuce ha' you been?" was Mrs. Joe's Christmas salutation, +when I and my conscience showed ourselves. + +I said I had been down to hear the Carols. "Ah! well!" observed Mrs. +Joe. "You might ha' done worse." Not a doubt of that I thought. + +"Perhaps if I warn't a blacksmith's wife, and (what's the same thing) a +slave with her apron never off, I should have been to hear the Carols," +said Mrs. Joe. "I'm rather partial to Carols, myself, and that's the +best of reasons for my never hearing any." + +Joe, who had ventured into the kitchen after me as the dustpan had +retired before us, drew the back of his hand across his nose with a +conciliatory air, when Mrs. Joe darted a look at him, and, when her eyes +were withdrawn, secretly crossed his two forefingers, and exhibited them +to me, as our token that Mrs. Joe was in a cross temper. This was so +much her normal state, that Joe and I would often, for weeks together, +be, as to our fingers, like monumental Crusaders as to their legs. + +We were to have a superb dinner, consisting of a leg of pickled pork and +greens, and a pair of roast stuffed fowls. A handsome mince-pie had +been made yesterday morning (which accounted for the mincemeat not +being missed), and the pudding was already on the boil. These extensive +arrangements occasioned us to be cut off unceremoniously in respect of +breakfast; "for I ain't," said Mrs. Joe,--"I ain't a going to have +no formal cramming and busting and washing up now, with what I've got +before me, I promise you!" + +So, we had our slices served out, as if we were two thousand troops on a +forced march instead of a man and boy at home; and we took gulps of milk +and water, with apologetic countenances, from a jug on the dresser. In +the meantime, Mrs. Joe put clean white curtains up, and tacked a new +flowered flounce across the wide chimney to replace the old one, and +uncovered the little state parlor across the passage, which was never +uncovered at any other time, but passed the rest of the year in a cool +haze of silver paper, which even extended to the four little white +crockery poodles on the mantel-shelf, each with a black nose and a +basket of flowers in his mouth, and each the counterpart of the other. +Mrs. Joe was a very clean housekeeper, but had an exquisite art of +making her cleanliness more uncomfortable and unacceptable than dirt +itself. Cleanliness is next to Godliness, and some people do the same by +their religion. + +My sister, having so much to do, was going to church vicariously, that +is to say, Joe and I were going. In his working- +well-knit characteristic-looking blacksmith; in his holiday clothes, +he was more like a scarecrow in good circumstances, than anything else. +Nothing that he wore then fitted him or seemed to belong to him; and +everything that he wore then grazed him. On the present festive occasion +he emerged from his room, when the blithe bells were going, the picture +of misery, in a full suit of Sunday penitentials. As to me, I think my +sister must have had some general idea that I was a young offender whom +an Accoucheur Policeman had taken up (on my birthday) and delivered over +to her, to be dealt with according to the outraged majesty of the law. +I was always treated as if I had insisted on being born in opposition +to the dictates of reason, religion, and morality, and against the +dissuading arguments of my best friends. Even when I was taken to have +a new suit of clothes, the tailor had orders to make them like a kind of +Reformatory, and on no account to let me have the free use of my limbs. + +Joe and I going to church, therefore, must have been a moving spectacle +for compassionate minds. Yet, what I suffered outside was nothing to +what I underwent within. The terrors that had assailed me whenever +Mrs. Joe had gone near the pantry, or out of the room, were only to be +equalled by the remorse with which my mind dwelt on what my hands had +done. Under the weight of my wicked secret, I pondered whether the +Church would be powerful enough to shield me from the vengeance of the +terrible young man, if I divulged to that establishment. I conceived the +idea that the time when the banns were read and when the clergyman said, +"Ye are now to declare it!" would be the time for me to rise and propose +a private conference in the vestry. I am far from being sure that I +might not have astonished our small congregation by resorting to this +extreme measure, but for its being Christmas Day and no Sunday. + +Mr. Wopsle, the clerk at church, was to dine with us; and Mr. Hubble +the wheelwright and Mrs. Hubble; and Uncle Pumblechook (Joe's uncle, +but Mrs. Joe appropriated him), who was a well-to-do cornchandler in +the nearest town, and drove his own chaise-cart. The dinner hour was +half-past one. When Joe and I got home, we found the table laid, and +Mrs. Joe dressed, and the dinner dressing, and the front door unlocked +(it never was at any other time) for the company to enter by, and +everything most splendid. And still, not a word of the robbery. + +The time came, without bringing with it any relief to my feelings, and +the company came. Mr. Wopsle, united to a Roman nose and a large shining +bald forehead, had a deep voice which he was uncommonly proud of; indeed +it was understood among his acquaintance that if you could only give him +his head, he would read the clergyman into fits; he himself confessed +that if the Church was "thrown open," meaning to competition, he would +not despair of making his mark in it. The Church not being "thrown +open," he was, as I have said, our clerk. But he punished the Amens +tremendously; and when he gave out the psalm,--always giving the whole +verse,--he looked all round the congregation first, as much as to say, +"You have heard my friend overhead; oblige me with your opinion of this +style!" + +I opened the door to the company,--making believe that it was a habit +of ours to open that door,--and I opened it first to Mr. Wopsle, next +to Mr. and Mrs. Hubble, and last of all to Uncle Pumblechook. N.B. I was +not allowed to call him uncle, under the severest penalties. + +"Mrs. Joe," said Uncle Pumblechook, a large hard-breathing middle-aged +slow man, with a mouth like a fish, dull staring eyes, and sandy hair +standing upright on his head, so that he looked as if he had just been +all but choked, and had that moment come to, "I have brought you as the +compliments of the season--I have brought you, Mum, a bottle of sherry +wine--and I have brought you, Mum, a bottle of port wine." + +Every Christmas Day he presented himself, as a profound novelty, with +exactly the same words, and carrying the two bottles like dumb-bells. +Every Christmas Day, Mrs. Joe replied, as she now replied, "O, Un--cle +Pum-ble--chook! This is kind!" Every Christmas Day, he retorted, as +he now retorted, "It's no more than your merits. And now are you all +bobbish, and how's Sixpennorth of halfpence?" meaning me. + +We dined on these occasions in the kitchen, and adjourned, for the nuts +and oranges and apples to the parlor; which was a change very like +Joe's change from his working-clothes to his Sunday dress. My sister was +uncommonly lively on the present occasion, and indeed was generally more +gracious in the society of Mrs. Hubble than in other company. I remember +Mrs. Hubble as a little curly sharp-edged person in sky-blue, who held a +conventionally juvenile position, because she had married Mr. Hubble,--I +don't know at what remote period,--when she was much younger than he. I +remember Mr Hubble as a tough, high-shouldered, stooping old man, of a +sawdusty fragrance, with his legs extraordinarily wide apart: so that in +my short days I always saw some miles of open country between them when +I met him coming up the lane. + +Among this good company I should have felt myself, even if I hadn't +robbed the pantry, in a false position. Not because I was squeezed in +at an acute angle of the tablecloth, with the table in my chest, and the +Pumblechookian elbow in my eye, nor because I was not allowed to speak +(I didn't want to speak), nor because I was regaled with the scaly tips +of the drumsticks of the fowls, and with those obscure corners of pork +of which the pig, when living, had had the least reason to be vain. No; +I should not have minded that, if they would only have left me alone. +But they wouldn't leave me alone. They seemed to think the opportunity +lost, if they failed to point the conversation at me, every now and +then, and stick the point into me. I might have been an unfortunate +little bull in a Spanish arena, I got so smartingly touched up by these +moral goads. + +It began the moment we sat down to dinner. Mr. Wopsle said grace with +theatrical declamation,--as it now appears to me, something like a +religious cross of the Ghost in Hamlet with Richard the Third,--and +ended with the very proper aspiration that we might be truly grateful. +Upon which my sister fixed me with her eye, and said, in a low +reproachful voice, "Do you hear that? Be grateful." + +"Especially," said Mr. Pumblechook, "be grateful, boy, to them which +brought you up by hand." + +Mrs. Hubble shook her head, and contemplating me with a mournful +presentiment that I should come to no good, asked, "Why is it that the +young are never grateful?" This moral mystery seemed too much for +the company until Mr. Hubble tersely solved it by saying, "Naterally +wicious." Everybody then murmured "True!" and looked at me in a +particularly unpleasant and personal manner. + +Joe's station and influence were something feebler (if possible) when +there was company than when there was none. But he always aided and +comforted me when he could, in some way of his own, and he always did so +at dinner-time by giving me gravy, if there were any. There being plenty +of gravy to-day, Joe spooned into my plate, at this point, about half a +pint. + +A little later on in the dinner, Mr. Wopsle reviewed the sermon with +some severity, and intimated--in the usual hypothetical case of the +Church being "thrown open"--what kind of sermon he would have given +them. After favoring them with some heads of that discourse, he remarked +that he considered the subject of the day's homily, ill chosen; which +was the less excusable, he added, when there were so many subjects +"going about." + +"True again," said Uncle Pumblechook. "You've hit it, sir! Plenty of +subjects going about, for them that know how to put salt upon their +tails. That's what's wanted. A man needn't go far to find a subject, +if he's ready with his salt-box." Mr. Pumblechook added, after a short +interval of reflection, "Look at Pork alone. There's a subject! If you +want a subject, look at Pork!" + +"True, sir. Many a moral for the young," returned Mr. Wopsle,--and I +knew he was going to lug me in, before he said it; "might be deduced +from that text." + +("You listen to this," said my sister to me, in a severe parenthesis.) + +Joe gave me some more gravy. + +"Swine," pursued Mr. Wopsle, in his deepest voice, and pointing his fork +at my blushes, as if he were mentioning my Christian name,--"swine were +the companions of the prodigal. The gluttony of Swine is put before us, +as an example to the young." (I thought this pretty well in him who +had been praising up the pork for being so plump and juicy.) "What is +detestable in a pig is more detestable in a boy." + +"Or girl," suggested Mr. Hubble. + +"Of course, or girl, Mr. Hubble," assented Mr. Wopsle, rather irritably, +"but there is no girl present." + +"Besides," said Mr. Pumblechook, turning sharp on me, "think what you've +got to be grateful for. If you'd been born a Squeaker--" + +"He was, if ever a child was," said my sister, most emphatically. + +Joe gave me some more gravy. + +"Well, but I mean a four-footed Squeaker," said Mr. Pumblechook. "If you +had been born such, would you have been here now? Not you--" + +"Unless in that form," said Mr. Wopsle, nodding towards the dish. + +"But I don't mean in that form, sir," returned Mr. Pumblechook, who had +an objection to being interrupted; "I mean, enjoying himself with his +elders and betters, and improving himself with their conversation, and +rolling in the lap of luxury. Would he have been doing that? No, he +wouldn't. And what would have been your destination?" turning on me +again. "You would have been disposed of for so many shillings according +to the market price of the article, and Dunstable the butcher would have +come up to you as you lay in your straw, and he would have whipped you +under his left arm, and with his right he would have tucked up his frock +to get a penknife from out of his waistcoat-pocket, and he would have +shed your blood and had your life. No bringing up by hand then. Not a +bit of it!" + +Joe offered me more gravy, which I was afraid to take. + +"He was a world of trouble to you, ma'am," said Mrs. Hubble, +commiserating my sister. + +"Trouble?" echoed my sister; "trouble?" and then entered on a fearful +catalogue of all the illnesses I had been guilty of, and all the acts +of sleeplessness I had committed, and all the high places I had tumbled +from, and all the low places I had tumbled into, and all the injuries I +had done myself, and all the times she had wished me in my grave, and I +had contumaciously refused to go there. + +I think the Romans must have aggravated one another very much, with +their noses. Perhaps, they became the restless people they were, in +consequence. Anyhow, Mr. Wopsle's Roman nose so aggravated me, during +the recital of my misdemeanours, that I should have liked to pull it +until he howled. But, all I had endured up to this time was nothing in +comparison with the awful feelings that took possession of me when the +pause was broken which ensued upon my sister's recital, and in which +pause everybody had looked at me (as I felt painfully conscious) with +indignation and abhorrence. + +"Yet," said Mr. Pumblechook, leading the company gently back to the +theme from which they had strayed, "Pork--regarded as biled--is rich, +too; ain't it?" + +"Have a little brandy, uncle," said my sister. + +O Heavens, it had come at last! He would find it was weak, he would say +it was weak, and I was lost! I held tight to the leg of the table under +the cloth, with both hands, and awaited my fate. + +My sister went for the stone bottle, came back with the stone bottle, +and poured his brandy out: no one else taking any. The wretched man +trifled with his glass,--took it up, looked at it through the light, +put it down,--prolonged my misery. All this time Mrs. Joe and Joe were +briskly clearing the table for the pie and pudding. + +I couldn't keep my eyes off him. Always holding tight by the leg of the +table with my hands and feet, I saw the miserable creature finger his +glass playfully, take it up, smile, throw his head back, and drink +the brandy off. Instantly afterwards, the company were seized with +unspeakable consternation, owing to his springing to his feet, turning +round several times in an appalling spasmodic whooping-cough dance, +and rushing out at the door; he then became visible through the window, +violently plunging and expectorating, making the most hideous faces, and +apparently out of his mind. + +I held on tight, while Mrs. Joe and Joe ran to him. I didn't know how +I had done it, but I had no doubt I had murdered him somehow. In my +dreadful situation, it was a relief when he was brought back, and +surveying the company all round as if they had disagreed with him, sank +down into his chair with the one significant gasp, "Tar!" + +I had filled up the bottle from the tar-water jug. I knew he would be +worse by and by. I moved the table, like a Medium of the present day, by +the vigor of my unseen hold upon it. + +"Tar!" cried my sister, in amazement. "Why, how ever could Tar come +there?" + +But, Uncle Pumblechook, who was omnipotent in that kitchen, wouldn't +hear the word, wouldn't hear of the subject, imperiously waved it all +away with his hand, and asked for hot gin and water. My sister, who had +begun to be alarmingly meditative, had to employ herself actively in +getting the gin, the hot water, the sugar, and the lemon-peel, and mixing +them. For the time being at least, I was saved. I still held on to the +leg of the table, but clutched it now with the fervor of gratitude. + +By degrees, I became calm enough to release my grasp and partake of +pudding. Mr. Pumblechook partook of pudding. All partook of pudding. +The course terminated, and Mr. Pumblechook had begun to beam under the +genial influence of gin and water. I began to think I should get over +the day, when my sister said to Joe, "Clean plates,--cold." + +I clutched the leg of the table again immediately, and pressed it to my +bosom as if it had been the companion of my youth and friend of my soul. +I foresaw what was coming, and I felt that this time I really was gone. + +"You must taste," said my sister, addressing the guests with her best +grace--"you must taste, to finish with, such a delightful and delicious +present of Uncle Pumblechook's!" + +Must they! Let them not hope to taste it! + +"You must know," said my sister, rising, "it's a pie; a savory pork +pie." + +The company murmured their compliments. Uncle Pumblechook, sensible of +having deserved well of his fellow-creatures, said,--quite vivaciously, +all things considered,--"Well, Mrs. Joe, we'll do our best endeavors; +let us have a cut at this same pie." + +My sister went out to get it. I heard her steps proceed to the pantry. I +saw Mr. Pumblechook balance his knife. I saw reawakening appetite in the +Roman nostrils of Mr. Wopsle. I heard Mr. Hubble remark that "a bit of +savory pork pie would lay atop of anything you could mention, and do +no harm," and I heard Joe say, "You shall have some, Pip." I have never +been absolutely certain whether I uttered a shrill yell of terror, +merely in spirit, or in the bodily hearing of the company. I felt that I +could bear no more, and that I must run away. I released the leg of the +table, and ran for my life. + +But I ran no farther than the house door, for there I ran head-foremost +into a party of soldiers with their muskets, one of whom held out a pair +of handcuffs to me, saying, "Here you are, look sharp, come on!" + + + + +Chapter V + +The apparition of a file of soldiers ringing down the but-ends of their +loaded muskets on our door-step, caused the dinner-party to rise +from table in confusion, and caused Mrs. Joe re-entering the kitchen +empty-handed, to stop short and stare, in her wondering lament of +"Gracious goodness gracious me, what's gone--with the--pie!" + +The sergeant and I were in the kitchen when Mrs. Joe stood staring; +at which crisis I partially recovered the use of my senses. It was +the sergeant who had spoken to me, and he was now looking round at the +company, with his handcuffs invitingly extended towards them in his +right hand, and his left on my shoulder. + +"Excuse me, ladies and gentleman," said the sergeant, "but as I have +mentioned at the door to this smart young shaver," (which he hadn't), "I +am on a chase in the name of the king, and I want the blacksmith." + +"And pray what might you want with him?" retorted my sister, quick to +resent his being wanted at all. + +"Missis," returned the gallant sergeant, "speaking for myself, I should +reply, the honor and pleasure of his fine wife's acquaintance; speaking +for the king, I answer, a little job done." + +This was received as rather neat in the sergeant; insomuch that Mr. +Pumblechook cried audibly, "Good again!" + +"You see, blacksmith," said the sergeant, who had by this time picked +out Joe with his eye, "we have had an accident with these, and I find +the lock of one of 'em goes wrong, and the coupling don't act pretty. +As they are wanted for immediate service, will you throw your eye over +them?" + +Joe threw his eye over them, and pronounced that the job would +necessitate the lighting of his forge fire, and would take nearer +two hours than one. "Will it? Then will you set about it at once, +blacksmith?" said the off-hand sergeant, "as it's on his Majesty's +service. And if my men can bear a hand anywhere, they'll make themselves +useful." With that, he called to his men, who came trooping into the +kitchen one after another, and piled their arms in a corner. And then +they stood about, as soldiers do; now, with their hands loosely clasped +before them; now, resting a knee or a shoulder; now, easing a belt or a +pouch; now, opening the door to spit stiffly over their high stocks, out +into the yard. + +All these things I saw without then knowing that I saw them, for I +was in an agony of apprehension. But beginning to perceive that the +handcuffs were not for me, and that the military had so far got the +better of the pie as to put it in the background, I collected a little +more of my scattered wits. + +"Would you give me the time?" said the sergeant, addressing himself to +Mr. Pumblechook, as to a man whose appreciative powers justified the +inference that he was equal to the time. + +"It's just gone half past two." + +"That's not so bad," said the sergeant, reflecting; "even if I was +forced to halt here nigh two hours, that'll do. How far might you call +yourselves from the marshes, hereabouts? Not above a mile, I reckon?" + +"Just a mile," said Mrs. Joe. + +"That'll do. We begin to close in upon 'em about dusk. A little before +dusk, my orders are. That'll do." + +"Convicts, sergeant?" asked Mr. Wopsle, in a matter-of-course way. + +"Ay!" returned the sergeant, "two. They're pretty well known to be out +on the marshes still, and they won't try to get clear of 'em before +dusk. Anybody here seen anything of any such game?" + +Everybody, myself excepted, said no, with confidence. Nobody thought of +me. + +"Well!" said the sergeant, "they'll find themselves trapped in a circle, +I expect, sooner than they count on. Now, blacksmith! If you're ready, +his Majesty the King is." + +Joe had got his coat and waistcoat and cravat off, and his leather apron +on, and passed into the forge. One of the soldiers opened its wooden +windows, another lighted the fire, another turned to at the bellows, the +rest stood round the blaze, which was soon roaring. Then Joe began to +hammer and clink, hammer and clink, and we all looked on. + +The interest of the impending pursuit not only absorbed the general +attention, but even made my sister liberal. She drew a pitcher of beer +from the cask for the soldiers, and invited the sergeant to take a glass +of brandy. But Mr. Pumblechook said, sharply, "Give him wine, Mum. I'll +engage there's no tar in that:" so, the sergeant thanked him and said +that as he preferred his drink without tar, he would take wine, if it +was equally convenient. When it was given him, he drank his Majesty's +health and compliments of the season, and took it all at a mouthful and +smacked his lips. + +"Good stuff, eh, sergeant?" said Mr. Pumblechook. + +"I'll tell you something," returned the sergeant; "I suspect that +stuff's of your providing." + +Mr. Pumblechook, with a fat sort of laugh, said, "Ay, ay? Why?" + +"Because," returned the sergeant, clapping him on the shoulder, "you're +a man that knows what's what." + +"D'ye think so?" said Mr. Pumblechook, with his former laugh. "Have +another glass!" + +"With you. Hob and nob," returned the sergeant. "The top of mine to the +foot of yours,--the foot of yours to the top of mine,--Ring once, ring +twice,--the best tune on the Musical Glasses! Your health. May you live +a thousand years, and never be a worse judge of the right sort than you +are at the present moment of your life!" + +The sergeant tossed off his glass again and seemed quite ready for +another glass. I noticed that Mr. Pumblechook in his hospitality +appeared to forget that he had made a present of the wine, but took the +bottle from Mrs. Joe and had all the credit of handing it about in a +gush of joviality. Even I got some. And he was so very free of the wine +that he even called for the other bottle, and handed that about with the +same liberality, when the first was gone. + +As I watched them while they all stood clustering about the forge, +enjoying themselves so much, I thought what terrible good sauce for +a dinner my fugitive friend on the marshes was. They had not enjoyed +themselves a quarter so much, before the entertainment was brightened +with the excitement he furnished. And now, when they were all in lively +anticipation of "the two villains" being taken, and when the bellows +seemed to roar for the fugitives, the fire to flare for them, the smoke +to hurry away in pursuit of them, Joe to hammer and clink for them, +and all the murky shadows on the wall to shake at them in menace as the +blaze rose and sank, and the red-hot sparks dropped and died, the pale +afternoon outside almost seemed in my pitying young fancy to have turned +pale on their account, poor wretches. + +At last, Joe's job was done, and the ringing and roaring stopped. As Joe +got on his coat, he mustered courage to propose that some of us should +go down with the soldiers and see what came of the hunt. Mr. Pumblechook +and Mr. Hubble declined, on the plea of a pipe and ladies' society; but +Mr. Wopsle said he would go, if Joe would. Joe said he was agreeable, +and would take me, if Mrs. Joe approved. We never should have got leave +to go, I am sure, but for Mrs. Joe's curiosity to know all about it and +how it ended. As it was, she merely stipulated, "If you bring the boy +back with his head blown to bits by a musket, don't look to me to put it +together again." + +The sergeant took a polite leave of the ladies, and parted from Mr. +Pumblechook as from a comrade; though I doubt if he were quite as fully +sensible of that gentleman's merits under arid conditions, as when +something moist was going. His men resumed their muskets and fell in. +Mr. Wopsle, Joe, and I, received strict charge to keep in the rear, and +to speak no word after we reached the marshes. When we were all out in +the raw air and were steadily moving towards our business, I treasonably +whispered to Joe, "I hope, Joe, we shan't find them." and Joe whispered +to me, "I'd give a shilling if they had cut and run, Pip." + +We were joined by no stragglers from the village, for the weather was +cold and threatening, the way dreary, the footing bad, darkness coming +on, and the people had good fires in-doors and were keeping the day. A +few faces hurried to glowing windows and looked after us, but none came +out. We passed the finger-post, and held straight on to the churchyard. +There we were stopped a few minutes by a signal from the sergeant's +hand, while two or three of his men dispersed themselves among the +graves, and also examined the porch. They came in again without finding +anything, and then we struck out on the open marshes, through the gate +at the side of the churchyard. A bitter sleet came rattling against us +here on the east wind, and Joe took me on his back. + +Now that we were out upon the dismal wilderness where they little +thought I had been within eight or nine hours and had seen both men +hiding, I considered for the first time, with great dread, if we should +come upon them, would my particular convict suppose that it was I who +had brought the soldiers there? He had asked me if I was a deceiving +imp, and he had said I should be a fierce young hound if I joined the +hunt against him. Would he believe that I was both imp and hound in +treacherous earnest, and had betrayed him? + +It was of no use asking myself this question now. There I was, on Joe's +back, and there was Joe beneath me, charging at the ditches like a +hunter, and stimulating Mr. Wopsle not to tumble on his Roman nose, and +to keep up with us. The soldiers were in front of us, extending into a +pretty wide line with an interval between man and man. We were taking +the course I had begun with, and from which I had diverged in the mist. +Either the mist was not out again yet, or the wind had dispelled it. +Under the low red glare of sunset, the beacon, and the gibbet, and the +mound of the Battery, and the opposite shore of the river, were plain, +though all of a watery lead color. + +With my heart thumping like a blacksmith at Joe's broad shoulder, I +looked all about for any sign of the convicts. I could see none, I could +hear none. Mr. Wopsle had greatly alarmed me more than once, by his +blowing and hard breathing; but I knew the sounds by this time, and +could dissociate them from the object of pursuit. I got a dreadful +start, when I thought I heard the file still going; but it was only a +sheep-bell. The sheep stopped in their eating and looked timidly at +us; and the cattle, their heads turned from the wind and sleet, stared +angrily as if they held us responsible for both annoyances; but, except +these things, and the shudder of the dying day in every blade of grass, +there was no break in the bleak stillness of the marshes. + +The soldiers were moving on in the direction of the old Battery, and we +were moving on a little way behind them, when, all of a sudden, we all +stopped. For there had reached us on the wings of the wind and rain, a +long shout. It was repeated. It was at a distance towards the east, but +it was long and loud. Nay, there seemed to be two or more shouts raised +together,--if one might judge from a confusion in the sound. + +To this effect the sergeant and the nearest men were speaking under +their breath, when Joe and I came up. After another moment's listening, +Joe (who was a good judge) agreed, and Mr. Wopsle (who was a bad judge) +agreed. The sergeant, a decisive man, ordered that the sound should not +be answered, but that the course should be changed, and that his men +should make towards it "at the double." So we slanted to the right +(where the East was), and Joe pounded away so wonderfully, that I had to +hold on tight to keep my seat. + +It was a run indeed now, and what Joe called, in the only two words he +spoke all the time, "a Winder." Down banks and up banks, and over gates, +and splashing into dikes, and breaking among coarse rushes: no man cared +where he went. As we came nearer to the shouting, it became more and +more apparent that it was made by more than one voice. Sometimes, it +seemed to stop altogether, and then the soldiers stopped. When it broke +out again, the soldiers made for it at a greater rate than ever, and we +after them. After a while, we had so run it down, that we could hear one +voice calling "Murder!" and another voice, "Convicts! Runaways! Guard! +This way for the runaway convicts!" Then both voices would seem to be +stifled in a struggle, and then would break out again. And when it had +come to this, the soldiers ran like deer, and Joe too. + +The sergeant ran in first, when we had run the noise quite down, and two +of his men ran in close upon him. Their pieces were cocked and levelled +when we all ran in. + +"Here are both men!" panted the sergeant, struggling at the bottom of a +ditch. "Surrender, you two! and confound you for two wild beasts! Come +asunder!" + +Water was splashing, and mud was flying, and oaths were being sworn, and +blows were being struck, when some more men went down into the ditch to +help the sergeant, and dragged out, separately, my convict and the other +one. Both were bleeding and panting and execrating and struggling; but +of course I knew them both directly. + +"Mind!" said my convict, wiping blood from his face with his ragged +sleeves, and shaking torn hair from his fingers: "I took him! I give him +up to you! Mind that!" + +"It's not much to be particular about," said the sergeant; "it'll do you +small good, my man, being in the same plight yourself. Handcuffs there!" + +"I don't expect it to do me any good. I don't want it to do me more good +than it does now," said my convict, with a greedy laugh. "I took him. He +knows it. That's enough for me." + +The other convict was livid to look at, and, in addition to the old +bruised left side of his face, seemed to be bruised and torn all over. +He could not so much as get his breath to speak, until they were both +separately handcuffed, but leaned upon a soldier to keep himself from +falling. + +"Take notice, guard,--he tried to murder me," were his first words. + +"Tried to murder him?" said my convict, disdainfully. "Try, and not +do it? I took him, and giv' him up; that's what I done. I not only +prevented him getting off the marshes, but I dragged him here,--dragged +him this far on his way back. He's a gentleman, if you please, this +villain. Now, the Hulks has got its gentleman again, through me. Murder +him? Worth my while, too, to murder him, when I could do worse and drag +him back!" + +The other one still gasped, "He tried--he tried-to--murder me. +Bear--bear witness." + +"Lookee here!" said my convict to the sergeant. "Single-handed I got +clear of the prison-ship; I made a dash and I done it. I could ha' got +clear of these death-cold flats likewise--look at my leg: you won't find +much iron on it--if I hadn't made the discovery that he was here. Let +him go free? Let him profit by the means as I found out? Let him make a +tool of me afresh and again? Once more? No, no, no. If I had died at +the bottom there," and he made an emphatic swing at the ditch with his +manacled hands, "I'd have held to him with that grip, that you should +have been safe to find him in my hold." + +The other fugitive, who was evidently in extreme horror of his +companion, repeated, "He tried to murder me. I should have been a dead +man if you had not come up." + +"He lies!" said my convict, with fierce energy. "He's a liar born, and +he'll die a liar. Look at his face; ain't it written there? Let him turn +those eyes of his on me. I defy him to do it." + +The other, with an effort at a scornful smile, which could not, however, +collect the nervous working of his mouth into any set expression, looked +at the soldiers, and looked about at the marshes and at the sky, but +certainly did not look at the speaker. + +"Do you see him?" pursued my convict. "Do you see what a villain he is? +Do you see those grovelling and wandering eyes? That's how he looked +when we were tried together. He never looked at me." + +The other, always working and working his dry lips and turning his eyes +restlessly about him far and near, did at last turn them for a moment on +the speaker, with the words, "You are not much to look at," and with +a half-taunting glance at the bound hands. At that point, my convict +became so frantically exasperated, that he would have rushed upon him +but for the interposition of the soldiers. "Didn't I tell you," said the +other convict then, "that he would murder me, if he could?" And any one +could see that he shook with fear, and that there broke out upon his +lips curious white flakes, like thin snow. + +"Enough of this parley," said the sergeant. "Light those torches." + +As one of the soldiers, who carried a basket in lieu of a gun, went down +on his knee to open it, my convict looked round him for the first time, +and saw me. I had alighted from Joe's back on the brink of the ditch +when we came up, and had not moved since. I looked at him eagerly when +he looked at me, and slightly moved my hands and shook my head. I had +been waiting for him to see me that I might try to assure him of my +innocence. It was not at all expressed to me that he even comprehended +my intention, for he gave me a look that I did not understand, and it +all passed in a moment. But if he had looked at me for an hour or for +a day, I could not have remembered his face ever afterwards, as having +been more attentive. + +The soldier with the basket soon got a light, and lighted three or four +torches, and took one himself and distributed the others. It had been +almost dark before, but now it seemed quite dark, and soon afterwards +very dark. Before we departed from that spot, four soldiers standing in +a ring, fired twice into the air. Presently we saw other torches kindled +at some distance behind us, and others on the marshes on the opposite +bank of the river. "All right," said the sergeant. "March." + +We had not gone far when three cannon were fired ahead of us with a +sound that seemed to burst something inside my ear. "You are expected +on board," said the sergeant to my convict; "they know you are coming. +Don't straggle, my man. Close up here." + +The two were kept apart, and each walked surrounded by a separate guard. +I had hold of Joe's hand now, and Joe carried one of the torches. Mr. +Wopsle had been for going back, but Joe was resolved to see it out, so +we went on with the party. There was a reasonably good path now, mostly +on the edge of the river, with a divergence here and there where a dike +came, with a miniature windmill on it and a muddy sluice-gate. When +I looked round, I could see the other lights coming in after us. The +torches we carried dropped great blotches of fire upon the track, and +I could see those, too, lying smoking and flaring. I could see nothing +else but black darkness. Our lights warmed the air about us with their +pitchy blaze, and the two prisoners seemed rather to like that, as they +limped along in the midst of the muskets. We could not go fast, because +of their lameness; and they were so spent, that two or three times we +had to halt while they rested. + +After an hour or so of this travelling, we came to a rough wooden hut +and a landing-place. There was a guard in the hut, and they challenged, +and the sergeant answered. Then, we went into the hut, where there was +a smell of tobacco and whitewash, and a bright fire, and a lamp, and +a stand of muskets, and a drum, and a low wooden bedstead, like an +overgrown mangle without the machinery, capable of holding about a dozen +soldiers all at once. Three or four soldiers who lay upon it in their +great-coats were not much interested in us, but just lifted their heads +and took a sleepy stare, and then lay down again. The sergeant made some +kind of report, and some entry in a book, and then the convict whom I +call the other convict was drafted off with his guard, to go on board +first. + +My convict never looked at me, except that once. While we stood in the +hut, he stood before the fire looking thoughtfully at it, or putting up +his feet by turns upon the hob, and looking thoughtfully at them as if +he pitied them for their recent adventures. Suddenly, he turned to the +sergeant, and remarked,-- + +"I wish to say something respecting this escape. It may prevent some +persons laying under suspicion alonger me." + +"You can say what you like," returned the sergeant, standing coolly +looking at him with his arms folded, "but you have no call to say it +here. You'll have opportunity enough to say about it, and hear about it, +before it's done with, you know." + +"I know, but this is another pint, a separate matter. A man can't +starve; at least I can't. I took some wittles, up at the willage over +yonder,--where the church stands a'most out on the marshes." + +"You mean stole," said the sergeant. + +"And I'll tell you where from. From the blacksmith's." + +"Halloa!" said the sergeant, staring at Joe. + +"Halloa, Pip!" said Joe, staring at me. + +"It was some broken wittles--that's what it was--and a dram of liquor, +and a pie." + +"Have you happened to miss such an article as a pie, blacksmith?" asked +the sergeant, confidentially. + +"My wife did, at the very moment when you came in. Don't you know, Pip?" + +"So," said my convict, turning his eyes on Joe in a moody manner, and +without the least glance at me,--"so you're the blacksmith, are you? +Than I'm sorry to say, I've eat your pie." + +"God knows you're welcome to it,--so far as it was ever mine," returned +Joe, with a saving remembrance of Mrs. Joe. "We don't know what you have +done, but we wouldn't have you starved to death for it, poor miserable +fellow-creatur.--Would us, Pip?" + +The something that I had noticed before, clicked in the man's throat +again, and he turned his back. The boat had returned, and his guard were +ready, so we followed him to the landing-place made of rough stakes +and stones, and saw him put into the boat, which was rowed by a crew of +convicts like himself. No one seemed surprised to see him, or interested +in seeing him, or glad to see him, or sorry to see him, or spoke a word, +except that somebody in the boat growled as if to dogs, "Give way, +you!" which was the signal for the dip of the oars. By the light of the +torches, we saw the black Hulk lying out a little way from the mud of +the shore, like a wicked Noah's ark. Cribbed and barred and moored by +massive rusty chains, the prison-ship seemed in my young eyes to be +ironed like the prisoners. We saw the boat go alongside, and we saw +him taken up the side and disappear. Then, the ends of the torches were +flung hissing into the water, and went out, as if it were all over with +him. + + + + +Chapter VI + +My state of mind regarding the pilfering from which I had been so +unexpectedly exonerated did not impel me to frank disclosure; but I hope +it had some dregs of good at the bottom of it. + +I do not recall that I felt any tenderness of conscience in reference +to Mrs. Joe, when the fear of being found out was lifted off me. But +I loved Joe,--perhaps for no better reason in those early days than +because the dear fellow let me love him,--and, as to him, my inner self +was not so easily composed. It was much upon my mind (particularly when +I first saw him looking about for his file) that I ought to tell Joe the +whole truth. Yet I did not, and for the reason that I mistrusted that +if I did, he would think me worse than I was. The fear of losing Joe's +confidence, and of thenceforth sitting in the chimney corner at night +staring drearily at my forever lost companion and friend, tied up my +tongue. I morbidly represented to myself that if Joe knew it, I never +afterwards could see him at the fireside feeling his fair whisker, +without thinking that he was meditating on it. That, if Joe knew it, I +never afterwards could see him glance, however casually, at yesterday's +meat or pudding when it came on to-day's table, without thinking that he +was debating whether I had been in the pantry. That, if Joe knew it, and +at any subsequent period of our joint domestic life remarked that his +beer was flat or thick, the conviction that he suspected tar in it, +would bring a rush of blood to my face. In a word, I was too cowardly +to do what I knew to be right, as I had been too cowardly to avoid doing +what I knew to be wrong. I had had no intercourse with the world at +that time, and I imitated none of its many inhabitants who act in this +manner. Quite an untaught genius, I made the discovery of the line of +action for myself. + +As I was sleepy before we were far away from the prison-ship, Joe took +me on his back again and carried me home. He must have had a tiresome +journey of it, for Mr. Wopsle, being knocked up, was in such a very bad +temper that if the Church had been thrown open, he would probably have +excommunicated the whole expedition, beginning with Joe and myself. In +his lay capacity, he persisted in sitting down in the damp to such +an insane extent, that when his coat was taken off to be dried at the +kitchen fire, the circumstantial evidence on his trousers would have +hanged him, if it had been a capital offence. + +By that time, I was staggering on the kitchen floor like a little +drunkard, through having been newly set upon my feet, and through having +been fast asleep, and through waking in the heat and lights and noise of +tongues. As I came to myself (with the aid of a heavy thump between the +shoulders, and the restorative exclamation "Yah! Was there ever such +a boy as this!" from my sister,) I found Joe telling them about the +convict's confession, and all the visitors suggesting different ways +by which he had got into the pantry. Mr. Pumblechook made out, after +carefully surveying the premises, that he had first got upon the roof of +the forge, and had then got upon the roof of the house, and had then let +himself down the kitchen chimney by a rope made of his bedding cut +into strips; and as Mr. Pumblechook was very positive and drove his +own chaise-cart--over everybody--it was agreed that it must be so. Mr. +Wopsle, indeed, wildly cried out, "No!" with the feeble malice of a +tired man; but, as he had no theory, and no coat on, he was unanimously +set at naught,--not to mention his smoking hard behind, as he stood +with his back to the kitchen fire to draw the damp out: which was not +calculated to inspire confidence. + +This was all I heard that night before my sister clutched me, as a +slumberous offence to the company's eyesight, and assisted me up to bed +with such a strong hand that I seemed to have fifty boots on, and to be +dangling them all against the edges of the stairs. My state of mind, as +I have described it, began before I was up in the morning, and lasted +long after the subject had died out, and had ceased to be mentioned +saving on exceptional occasions. + + + + +Chapter VII + +At the time when I stood in the churchyard reading the family +tombstones, I had just enough learning to be able to spell them out. My +construction even of their simple meaning was not very correct, for I +read "wife of the Above" as a complimentary reference to my father's +exaltation to a better world; and if any one of my deceased relations +had been referred to as "Below," I have no doubt I should have formed +the worst opinions of that member of the family. Neither were my notions +of the theological positions to which my Catechism bound me, at +all accurate; for, I have a lively remembrance that I supposed my +declaration that I was to "walk in the same all the days of my life," +laid me under an obligation always to go through the village from our +house in one particular direction, and never to vary it by turning down +by the wheelwright's or up by the mill. + +When I was old enough, I was to be apprenticed to Joe, and until I could +assume that dignity I was not to be what Mrs. Joe called "Pompeyed," or +(as I render it) pampered. Therefore, I was not only odd-boy about the +forge, but if any neighbor happened to want an extra boy to frighten +birds, or pick up stones, or do any such job, I was favored with the +employment. In order, however, that our superior position might not be +compromised thereby, a money-box was kept on the kitchen mantel-shelf, +into which it was publicly made known that all my earnings were +dropped. I have an impression that they were to be contributed +eventually towards the liquidation of the National Debt, but I know I +had no hope of any personal participation in the treasure. + +Mr. Wopsle's great-aunt kept an evening school in the village; that is +to say, she was a ridiculous old woman of limited means and unlimited +infirmity, who used to go to sleep from six to seven every evening, in +the society of youth who paid two pence per week each, for the improving +opportunity of seeing her do it. She rented a small cottage, and Mr. +Wopsle had the room upstairs, where we students used to overhear him +reading aloud in a most dignified and terrific manner, and occasionally +bumping on the ceiling. There was a fiction that Mr. Wopsle "examined" +the scholars once a quarter. What he did on those occasions was to turn +up his cuffs, stick up his hair, and give us Mark Antony's oration over +the body of Caesar. This was always followed by Collins's Ode on +the Passions, wherein I particularly venerated Mr. Wopsle as Revenge +throwing his blood-stained sword in thunder down, and taking the +War-denouncing trumpet with a withering look. It was not with me then, +as it was in later life, when I fell into the society of the Passions, +and compared them with Collins and Wopsle, rather to the disadvantage of +both gentlemen. + +Mr. Wopsle's great-aunt, besides keeping this Educational Institution, +kept in the same room--a little general shop. She had no idea what stock +she had, or what the price of anything in it was; but there was a little +greasy memorandum-book kept in a drawer, which served as a Catalogue +of Prices, and by this oracle Biddy arranged all the shop transactions. +Biddy was Mr. Wopsle's great-aunt's granddaughter; I confess myself +quite unequal to the working out of the problem, what relation she was +to Mr. Wopsle. She was an orphan like myself; like me, too, had been +brought up by hand. She was most noticeable, I thought, in respect of +her extremities; for, her hair always wanted brushing, her hands always +wanted washing, and her shoes always wanted mending and pulling up at +heel. This description must be received with a week-day limitation. On +Sundays, she went to church elaborated. + +Much of my unassisted self, and more by the help of Biddy than of Mr. +Wopsle's great-aunt, I struggled through the alphabet as if it had been +a bramble-bush; getting considerably worried and scratched by every +letter. After that I fell among those thieves, the nine figures, who +seemed every evening to do something new to disguise themselves and +baffle recognition. But, at last I began, in a purblind groping way, to +read, write, and cipher, on the very smallest scale. + +One night I was sitting in the chimney corner with my slate, expending +great efforts on the production of a letter to Joe. I think it must have +been a full year after our hunt upon the marshes, for it was a long +time after, and it was winter and a hard frost. With an alphabet on the +hearth at my feet for reference, I contrived in an hour or two to print +and smear this epistle:-- + +"MI DEER JO i OPE U R KRWITE WELL i OPE i SHAL SON B HABELL 4 2 TEEDGE +U JO AN THEN WE SHORL B SO GLODD AN WEN i M PRENGTD 2 U JO WOT LARX AN +BLEVE ME INF XN PIP." + +There was no indispensable necessity for my communicating with Joe by +letter, inasmuch as he sat beside me and we were alone. But I delivered +this written communication (slate and all) with my own hand, and Joe +received it as a miracle of erudition. + +"I say, Pip, old chap!" cried Joe, opening his blue eyes wide, "what a +scholar you are! An't you?" + +"I should like to be," said I, glancing at the slate as he held it; with +a misgiving that the writing was rather hilly. + +"Why, here's a J," said Joe, "and a O equal to anythink! Here's a J and +a O, Pip, and a J-O, Joe." + +I had never heard Joe read aloud to any greater extent than this +monosyllable, and I had observed at church last Sunday, when I +accidentally held our Prayer-Book upside down, that it seemed to suit +his convenience quite as well as if it had been all right. Wishing to +embrace the present occasion of finding out whether in teaching Joe, I +should have to begin quite at the beginning, I said, "Ah! But read the +rest, Jo." + +"The rest, eh, Pip?" said Joe, looking at it with a slow, searching eye, +"One, two, three. Why, here's three Js, and three Os, and three J-O, +Joes in it, Pip!" + +I leaned over Joe, and, with the aid of my forefinger read him the whole +letter. + +"Astonishing!" said Joe, when I had finished. "You ARE a scholar." + +"How do you spell Gargery, Joe?" I asked him, with a modest patronage. + +"I don't spell it at all," said Joe. + +"But supposing you did?" + +"It can't be supposed," said Joe. "Tho' I'm uncommon fond of reading, +too." + +"Are you, Joe?" + +"On-common. Give me," said Joe, "a good book, or a good newspaper, and +sit me down afore a good fire, and I ask no better. Lord!" he continued, +after rubbing his knees a little, "when you do come to a J and a O, and +says you, 'Here, at last, is a J-O, Joe,' how interesting reading is!" + +I derived from this, that Joe's education, like Steam, was yet in its +infancy. Pursuing the subject, I inquired,-- + +"Didn't you ever go to school, Joe, when you were as little as me?" + +"No, Pip." + +"Why didn't you ever go to school, Joe, when you were as little as me?" + +"Well, Pip," said Joe, taking up the poker, and settling himself to +his usual occupation when he was thoughtful, of slowly raking the fire +between the lower bars; "I'll tell you. My father, Pip, he were given +to drink, and when he were overtook with drink, he hammered away at +my mother, most onmerciful. It were a'most the only hammering he did, +indeed, 'xcepting at myself. And he hammered at me with a wigor only +to be equalled by the wigor with which he didn't hammer at his +anwil.--You're a listening and understanding, Pip?" + +"Yes, Joe." + +"'Consequence, my mother and me we ran away from my father several +times; and then my mother she'd go out to work, and she'd say, "Joe," +she'd say, "now, please God, you shall have some schooling, child," and +she'd put me to school. But my father were that good in his hart that +he couldn't abear to be without us. So, he'd come with a most tremenjous +crowd and make such a row at the doors of the houses where we was, that +they used to be obligated to have no more to do with us and to give us +up to him. And then he took us home and hammered us. Which, you see, +Pip," said Joe, pausing in his meditative raking of the fire, and +looking at me, "were a drawback on my learning." + +"Certainly, poor Joe!" + +"Though mind you, Pip," said Joe, with a judicial touch or two of the +poker on the top bar, "rendering unto all their doo, and maintaining +equal justice betwixt man and man, my father were that good in his hart, +don't you see?" + +I didn't see; but I didn't say so. + +"Well!" Joe pursued, "somebody must keep the pot a biling, Pip, or the +pot won't bile, don't you know?" + +I saw that, and said so. + +"'Consequence, my father didn't make objections to my going to work; so +I went to work at my present calling, which were his too, if he +would have followed it, and I worked tolerable hard, I assure you, Pip. +In time I were able to keep him, and I kep him till he went off in a +purple leptic fit. And it were my intentions to have had put upon his +tombstone that, Whatsume'er the failings on his part, Remember reader he +were that good in his heart." + +Joe recited this couplet with such manifest pride and careful +perspicuity, that I asked him if he had made it himself. + +"I made it," said Joe, "my own self. I made it in a moment. It was like +striking out a horseshoe complete, in a single blow. I never was so much +surprised in all my life,--couldn't credit my own ed,--to tell you the +truth, hardly believed it were my own ed. As I was saying, Pip, it were +my intentions to have had it cut over him; but poetry costs money, cut +it how you will, small or large, and it were not done. Not to mention +bearers, all the money that could be spared were wanted for my mother. +She were in poor elth, and quite broke. She weren't long of following, +poor soul, and her share of peace come round at last." + +Joe's blue eyes turned a little watery; he rubbed first one of them, and +then the other, in a most uncongenial and uncomfortable manner, with the +round knob on the top of the poker. + +"It were but lonesome then," said Joe, "living here alone, and I got +acquainted with your sister. Now, Pip,"--Joe looked firmly at me as +if he knew I was not going to agree with him;--"your sister is a fine +figure of a woman." + +I could not help looking at the fire, in an obvious state of doubt. + +"Whatever family opinions, or whatever the world's opinions, on that +subject may be, Pip, your sister is," Joe tapped the top bar with the +poker after every word following, "a-fine-figure--of--a--woman!" + +I could think of nothing better to say than "I am glad you think so, +Joe." + +"So am I," returned Joe, catching me up. "I am glad I think so, Pip. A +little redness or a little matter of Bone, here or there, what does it +signify to Me?" + +I sagaciously observed, if it didn't signify to him, to whom did it +signify? + +"Certainly!" assented Joe. "That's it. You're right, old chap! When I +got acquainted with your sister, it were the talk how she was bringing +you up by hand. Very kind of her too, all the folks said, and I said, +along with all the folks. As to you," Joe pursued with a countenance +expressive of seeing something very nasty indeed, "if you could have +been aware how small and flabby and mean you was, dear me, you'd have +formed the most contemptible opinion of yourself!" + +Not exactly relishing this, I said, "Never mind me, Joe." + +"But I did mind you, Pip," he returned with tender simplicity. "When +I offered to your sister to keep company, and to be asked in church at +such times as she was willing and ready to come to the forge, I said to +her, 'And bring the poor little child. God bless the poor little child,' +I said to your sister, 'there's room for him at the forge!'" + +I broke out crying and begging pardon, and hugged Joe round the neck: +who dropped the poker to hug me, and to say, "Ever the best of friends; +an't us, Pip? Don't cry, old chap!" + +When this little interruption was over, Joe resumed:-- + +"Well, you see, Pip, and here we are! That's about where it lights; here +we are! Now, when you take me in hand in my learning, Pip (and I tell +you beforehand I am awful dull, most awful dull), Mrs. Joe mustn't see +too much of what we're up to. It must be done, as I may say, on the sly. +And why on the sly? I'll tell you why, Pip." + +He had taken up the poker again; without which, I doubt if he could have +proceeded in his demonstration. + +"Your sister is given to government." + +"Given to government, Joe?" I was startled, for I had some shadowy idea +(and I am afraid I must add, hope) that Joe had divorced her in a favor +of the Lords of the Admiralty, or Treasury. + +"Given to government," said Joe. "Which I meantersay the government of +you and myself." + +"Oh!" + +"And she an't over partial to having scholars on the premises," Joe +continued, "and in partickler would not be over partial to my being a +scholar, for fear as I might rise. Like a sort of rebel, don't you see?" + +I was going to retort with an inquiry, and had got as far as "Why--" +when Joe stopped me. + +"Stay a bit. I know what you're a going to say, Pip; stay a bit! I don't +deny that your sister comes the Mo-gul over us, now and again. I don't +deny that she do throw us back-falls, and that she do drop down upon us +heavy. At such times as when your sister is on the Ram-page, Pip," Joe +sank his voice to a whisper and glanced at the door, "candor compels fur +to admit that she is a Buster." + +Joe pronounced this word, as if it began with at least twelve capital +Bs. + +"Why don't I rise? That were your observation when I broke it off, Pip?" + +"Yes, Joe." + +"Well," said Joe, passing the poker into his left hand, that he might +feel his whisker; and I had no hope of him whenever he took to that +placid occupation; "your sister's a master-mind. A master-mind." + +"What's that?" I asked, in some hope of bringing him to a stand. But +Joe was readier with his definition than I had expected, and completely +stopped me by arguing circularly, and answering with a fixed look, +"Her." + +"And I ain't a master-mind," Joe resumed, when he had unfixed his look, +and got back to his whisker. "And last of all, Pip,--and this I want to +say very serious to you, old chap,--I see so much in my poor mother, +of a woman drudging and slaving and breaking her honest hart and never +getting no peace in her mortal days, that I'm dead afeerd of going wrong +in the way of not doing what's right by a woman, and I'd fur rather +of the two go wrong the t'other way, and be a little ill-conwenienced +myself. I wish it was only me that got put out, Pip; I wish there warn't +no Tickler for you, old chap; I wish I could take it all on myself; +but this is the up-and-down-and-straight on it, Pip, and I hope you'll +overlook shortcomings." + +Young as I was, I believe that I dated a new admiration of Joe from that +night. We were equals afterwards, as we had been before; but, afterwards +at quiet times when I sat looking at Joe and thinking about him, I had +a new sensation of feeling conscious that I was looking up to Joe in my +heart. + +"However," said Joe, rising to replenish the fire; "here's the +Dutch-clock a working himself up to being equal to strike Eight of 'em, +and she's not come home yet! I hope Uncle Pumblechook's mare mayn't have +set a forefoot on a piece o' ice, and gone down." + +Mrs. Joe made occasional trips with Uncle Pumblechook on market-days, +to assist him in buying such household stuffs and goods as required a +woman's judgment; Uncle Pumblechook being a bachelor and reposing no +confidences in his domestic servant. This was market-day, and Mrs. Joe +was out on one of these expeditions. + +Joe made the fire and swept the hearth, and then we went to the door to +listen for the chaise-cart. It was a dry cold night, and the wind blew +keenly, and the frost was white and hard. A man would die to-night of +lying out on the marshes, I thought. And then I looked at the stars, and +considered how awful it would be for a man to turn his face up to them +as he froze to death, and see no help or pity in all the glittering +multitude. + +"Here comes the mare," said Joe, "ringing like a peal of bells!" + +The sound of her iron shoes upon the hard road was quite musical, as she +came along at a much brisker trot than usual. We got a chair out, ready +for Mrs. Joe's alighting, and stirred up the fire that they might see a +bright window, and took a final survey of the kitchen that nothing might +be out of its place. When we had completed these preparations, they +drove up, wrapped to the eyes. Mrs. Joe was soon landed, and Uncle +Pumblechook was soon down too, covering the mare with a cloth, and we +were soon all in the kitchen, carrying so much cold air in with us that +it seemed to drive all the heat out of the fire. + +"Now," said Mrs. Joe, unwrapping herself with haste and excitement, and +throwing her bonnet back on her shoulders where it hung by the strings, +"if this boy ain't grateful this night, he never will be!" + +I looked as grateful as any boy possibly could, who was wholly +uninformed why he ought to assume that expression. + +"It's only to be hoped," said my sister, "that he won't be Pompeyed. But +I have my fears." + +"She ain't in that line, Mum," said Mr. Pumblechook. "She knows better." + +She? I looked at Joe, making the motion with my lips and eyebrows, +"She?" Joe looked at me, making the motion with his lips and eyebrows, +"She?" My sister catching him in the act, he drew the back of his hand +across his nose with his usual conciliatory air on such occasions, and +looked at her. + +"Well?" said my sister, in her snappish way. "What are you staring at? +Is the house afire?" + +"--Which some individual," Joe politely hinted, "mentioned--she." + +"And she is a she, I suppose?" said my sister. "Unless you call Miss +Havisham a he. And I doubt if even you'll go so far as that." + +"Miss Havisham, up town?" said Joe. + +"Is there any Miss Havisham down town?" returned my sister. + +"She wants this boy to go and play there. And of course he's going. And +he had better play there," said my sister, shaking her head at me as an +encouragement to be extremely light and sportive, "or I'll work him." + +I had heard of Miss Havisham up town,--everybody for miles round had +heard of Miss Havisham up town,--as an immensely rich and grim lady who +lived in a large and dismal house barricaded against robbers, and who +led a life of seclusion. + +"Well to be sure!" said Joe, astounded. "I wonder how she come to know +Pip!" + +"Noodle!" cried my sister. "Who said she knew him?" + +"--Which some individual," Joe again politely hinted, "mentioned that +she wanted him to go and play there." + +"And couldn't she ask Uncle Pumblechook if he knew of a boy to go and +play there? Isn't it just barely possible that Uncle Pumblechook may be +a tenant of hers, and that he may sometimes--we won't say quarterly +or half-yearly, for that would be requiring too much of you--but +sometimes--go there to pay his rent? And couldn't she then ask Uncle +Pumblechook if he knew of a boy to go and play there? And couldn't Uncle +Pumblechook, being always considerate and thoughtful for us--though you +may not think it, Joseph," in a tone of the deepest reproach, as if +he were the most callous of nephews, "then mention this boy, standing +Prancing here"--which I solemnly declare I was not doing--"that I have +for ever been a willing slave to?" + +"Good again!" cried Uncle Pumblechook. "Well put! Prettily pointed! Good +indeed! Now Joseph, you know the case." + +"No, Joseph," said my sister, still in a reproachful manner, while Joe +apologetically drew the back of his hand across and across his nose, +"you do not yet--though you may not think it--know the case. You may +consider that you do, but you do not, Joseph. For you do not know that +Uncle Pumblechook, being sensible that for anything we can tell, this +boy's fortune may be made by his going to Miss Havisham's, has offered +to take him into town to-night in his own chaise-cart, and to keep +him to-night, and to take him with his own hands to Miss Havisham's +to-morrow morning. And Lor-a-mussy me!" cried my sister, casting off her +bonnet in sudden desperation, "here I stand talking to mere Mooncalfs, +with Uncle Pumblechook waiting, and the mare catching cold at the door, +and the boy grimed with crock and dirt from the hair of his head to the +sole of his foot!" + +With that, she pounced upon me, like an eagle on a lamb, and my face was +squeezed into wooden bowls in sinks, and my head was put under taps of +water-butts, and I was soaped, and kneaded, and towelled, and thumped, +and harrowed, and rasped, until I really was quite beside myself. (I +may here remark that I suppose myself to be better acquainted than +any living authority, with the ridgy effect of a wedding-ring, passing +unsympathetically over the human countenance.) + +When my ablutions were completed, I was put into clean linen of the +stiffest character, like a young penitent into sackcloth, and was +trussed up in my tightest and fearfullest suit. I was then delivered +over to Mr. Pumblechook, who formally received me as if he were the +Sheriff, and who let off upon me the speech that I knew he had been +dying to make all along: "Boy, be forever grateful to all friends, but +especially unto them which brought you up by hand!" + +"Good-bye, Joe!" + +"God bless you, Pip, old chap!" + +I had never parted from him before, and what with my feelings and what +with soapsuds, I could at first see no stars from the chaise-cart. +But they twinkled out one by one, without throwing any light on the +questions why on earth I was going to play at Miss Havisham's, and what +on earth I was expected to play at. + + + + +Chapter VIII + +Mr. Pumblechook's premises in the High Street of the market town, +were of a peppercorny and farinaceous character, as the premises of a +cornchandler and seedsman should be. It appeared to me that he must be a +very happy man indeed, to have so many little drawers in his shop; and +I wondered when I peeped into one or two on the lower tiers, and saw the +tied-up brown paper packets inside, whether the flower-seeds and bulbs +ever wanted of a fine day to break out of those jails, and bloom. + +It was in the early morning after my arrival that I entertained this +speculation. On the previous night, I had been sent straight to bed in +an attic with a sloping roof, which was so low in the corner where the +bedstead was, that I calculated the tiles as being within a foot of my +eyebrows. In the same early morning, I discovered a singular affinity +between seeds and corduroys. Mr. Pumblechook wore corduroys, and so did +his shopman; and somehow, there was a general air and flavor about the +corduroys, so much in the nature of seeds, and a general air and flavor +about the seeds, so much in the nature of corduroys, that I hardly knew +which was which. The same opportunity served me for noticing that Mr. +Pumblechook appeared to conduct his business by looking across the +street at the saddler, who appeared to transact his business by keeping +his eye on the coachmaker, who appeared to get on in life by putting his +hands in his pockets and contemplating the baker, who in his turn folded +his arms and stared at the grocer, who stood at his door and yawned at +the chemist. The watchmaker, always poring over a little desk with +a magnifying-glass at his eye, and always inspected by a group of +smock-frocks poring over him through the glass of his shop-window, +seemed to be about the only person in the High Street whose trade +engaged his attention. + +Mr. Pumblechook and I breakfasted at eight o'clock in the parlor behind +the shop, while the shopman took his mug of tea and hunch of bread +and butter on a sack of peas in the front premises. I considered Mr. +Pumblechook wretched company. Besides being possessed by my sister's +idea that a mortifying and penitential character ought to be imparted +to my diet,--besides giving me as much crumb as possible in combination +with as little butter, and putting such a quantity of warm water into +my milk that it would have been more candid to have left the milk out +altogether,--his conversation consisted of nothing but arithmetic. On +my politely bidding him Good morning, he said, pompously, "Seven times +nine, boy?" And how should I be able to answer, dodged in that way, in +a strange place, on an empty stomach! I was hungry, but before I had +swallowed a morsel, he began a running sum that lasted all through the +breakfast. "Seven?" "And four?" "And eight?" "And six?" "And two?" "And +ten?" And so on. And after each figure was disposed of, it was as much +as I could do to get a bite or a sup, before the next came; while he sat +at his ease guessing nothing, and eating bacon and hot roll, in (if I +may be allowed the expression) a gorging and gormandizing manner. + +For such reasons, I was very glad when ten o'clock came and we started +for Miss Havisham's; though I was not at all at my ease regarding the +manner in which I should acquit myself under that lady's roof. Within +a quarter of an hour we came to Miss Havisham's house, which was of old +brick, and dismal, and had a great many iron bars to it. Some of the +windows had been walled up; of those that remained, all the lower were +rustily barred. There was a courtyard in front, and that was barred; so +we had to wait, after ringing the bell, until some one should come +to open it. While we waited at the gate, I peeped in (even then Mr. +Pumblechook said, "And fourteen?" but I pretended not to hear him), and +saw that at the side of the house there was a large brewery. No brewing +was going on in it, and none seemed to have gone on for a long long +time. + +A window was raised, and a clear voice demanded "What name?" To which my +conductor replied, "Pumblechook." The voice returned, "Quite right," and +the window was shut again, and a young lady came across the court-yard, +with keys in her hand. + +"This," said Mr. Pumblechook, "is Pip." + +"This is Pip, is it?" returned the young lady, who was very pretty and +seemed very proud; "come in, Pip." + +Mr. Pumblechook was coming in also, when she stopped him with the gate. + +"Oh!" she said. "Did you wish to see Miss Havisham?" + +"If Miss Havisham wished to see me," returned Mr. Pumblechook, +discomfited. + +"Ah!" said the girl; "but you see she don't." + +She said it so finally, and in such an undiscussible way, that Mr. +Pumblechook, though in a condition of ruffled dignity, could not +protest. But he eyed me severely,--as if I had done anything to +him!--and departed with the words reproachfully delivered: "Boy! Let +your behavior here be a credit unto them which brought you up by hand!" +I was not free from apprehension that he would come back to propound +through the gate, "And sixteen?" But he didn't. + +My young conductress locked the gate, and we went across the courtyard. +It was paved and clean, but grass was growing in every crevice. The +brewery buildings had a little lane of communication with it, and the +wooden gates of that lane stood open, and all the brewery beyond stood +open, away to the high enclosing wall; and all was empty and disused. +The cold wind seemed to blow colder there than outside the gate; and +it made a shrill noise in howling in and out at the open sides of the +brewery, like the noise of wind in the rigging of a ship at sea. + +She saw me looking at it, and she said, "You could drink without hurt +all the strong beer that's brewed there now, boy." + +"I should think I could, miss," said I, in a shy way. + +"Better not try to brew beer there now, or it would turn out sour, boy; +don't you think so?" + +"It looks like it, miss." + +"Not that anybody means to try," she added, "for that's all done with, +and the place will stand as idle as it is till it falls. As to strong +beer, there's enough of it in the cellars already, to drown the Manor +House." + +"Is that the name of this house, miss?" + +"One of its names, boy." + +"It has more than one, then, miss?" + +"One more. Its other name was Satis; which is Greek, or Latin, or +Hebrew, or all three--or all one to me--for enough." + +"Enough House," said I; "that's a curious name, miss." + +"Yes," she replied; "but it meant more than it said. It meant, when it +was given, that whoever had this house could want nothing else. They +must have been easily satisfied in those days, I should think. But don't +loiter, boy." + +Though she called me "boy" so often, and with a carelessness that was +far from complimentary, she was of about my own age. She seemed much +older than I, of course, being a girl, and beautiful and self-possessed; +and she was as scornful of me as if she had been one-and-twenty, and a +queen. + +We went into the house by a side door, the great front entrance had two +chains across it outside,--and the first thing I noticed was, that the +passages were all dark, and that she had left a candle burning there. +She took it up, and we went through more passages and up a staircase, +and still it was all dark, and only the candle lighted us. + +At last we came to the door of a room, and she said, "Go in." + +I answered, more in shyness than politeness, "After you, miss." + +To this she returned: "Don't be ridiculous, boy; I am not going in." And +scornfully walked away, and--what was worse--took the candle with her. + +This was very uncomfortable, and I was half afraid. However, the only +thing to be done being to knock at the door, I knocked, and was told +from within to enter. I entered, therefore, and found myself in a pretty +large room, well lighted with wax candles. No glimpse of daylight was to +be seen in it. It was a dressing-room, as I supposed from the furniture, +though much of it was of forms and uses then quite unknown to me. But +prominent in it was a draped table with a gilded looking-glass, and that +I made out at first sight to be a fine lady's dressing-table. + +Whether I should have made out this object so soon if there had been no +fine lady sitting at it, I cannot say. In an arm-chair, with an +elbow resting on the table and her head leaning on that hand, sat the +strangest lady I have ever seen, or shall ever see. + +She was dressed in rich materials,--satins, and lace, and silks,--all +of white. Her shoes were white. And she had a long white veil dependent +from her hair, and she had bridal flowers in her hair, but her hair was +white. Some bright jewels sparkled on her neck and on her hands, and +some other jewels lay sparkling on the table. Dresses, less splendid +than the dress she wore, and half-packed trunks, were scattered about. +She had not quite finished dressing, for she had but one shoe on,--the +other was on the table near her hand,--her veil was but half arranged, +her watch and chain were not put on, and some lace for her bosom lay +with those trinkets, and with her handkerchief, and gloves, and +some flowers, and a Prayer-Book all confusedly heaped about the +looking-glass. + +It was not in the first few moments that I saw all these things, though +I saw more of them in the first moments than might be supposed. But I +saw that everything within my view which ought to be white, had been +white long ago, and had lost its lustre and was faded and yellow. I saw +that the bride within the bridal dress had withered like the dress, and +like the flowers, and had no brightness left but the brightness of her +sunken eyes. I saw that the dress had been put upon the rounded figure +of a young woman, and that the figure upon which it now hung loose had +shrunk to skin and bone. Once, I had been taken to see some ghastly +waxwork at the Fair, representing I know not what impossible personage +lying in state. Once, I had been taken to one of our old marsh churches +to see a skeleton in the ashes of a rich dress that had been dug out of +a vault under the church pavement. Now, waxwork and skeleton seemed to +have dark eyes that moved and looked at me. I should have cried out, if +I could. + +"Who is it?" said the lady at the table. + +"Pip, ma'am." + +"Pip?" + +"Mr. Pumblechook's boy, ma'am. Come--to play." + +"Come nearer; let me look at you. Come close." + +It was when I stood before her, avoiding her eyes, that I took note of +the surrounding objects in detail, and saw that her watch had stopped +at twenty minutes to nine, and that a clock in the room had stopped at +twenty minutes to nine. + +"Look at me," said Miss Havisham. "You are not afraid of a woman who has +never seen the sun since you were born?" + +I regret to state that I was not afraid of telling the enormous lie +comprehended in the answer "No." + +"Do you know what I touch here?" she said, laying her hands, one upon +the other, on her left side. + +"Yes, ma'am." (It made me think of the young man.) + +"What do I touch?" + +"Your heart." + +"Broken!" + +She uttered the word with an eager look, and with strong emphasis, and +with a weird smile that had a kind of boast in it. Afterwards she kept +her hands there for a little while, and slowly took them away as if they +were heavy. + +"I am tired," said Miss Havisham. "I want diversion, and I have done +with men and women. Play." + +I think it will be conceded by my most disputatious reader, that she +could hardly have directed an unfortunate boy to do anything in the wide +world more difficult to be done under the circumstances. + +"I sometimes have sick fancies," she went on, "and I have a sick fancy +that I want to see some play. There, there!" with an impatient movement +of the fingers of her right hand; "play, play, play!" + +For a moment, with the fear of my sister's working me before my eyes, I +had a desperate idea of starting round the room in the assumed character +of Mr. Pumblechook's chaise-cart. But I felt myself so unequal to the +performance that I gave it up, and stood looking at Miss Havisham in +what I suppose she took for a dogged manner, inasmuch as she said, when +we had taken a good look at each other,-- + +"Are you sullen and obstinate?" + +"No, ma'am, I am very sorry for you, and very sorry I can't play just +now. If you complain of me I shall get into trouble with my sister, so +I would do it if I could; but it's so new here, and so strange, and so +fine,--and melancholy--." I stopped, fearing I might say too much, or +had already said it, and we took another look at each other. + +Before she spoke again, she turned her eyes from me, and looked at the +dress she wore, and at the dressing-table, and finally at herself in the +looking-glass. + +"So new to him," she muttered, "so old to me; so strange to him, so +familiar to me; so melancholy to both of us! Call Estella." + +As she was still looking at the reflection of herself, I thought she was +still talking to herself, and kept quiet. + +"Call Estella," she repeated, flashing a look at me. "You can do that. +Call Estella. At the door." + +To stand in the dark in a mysterious passage of an unknown house, +bawling Estella to a scornful young lady neither visible nor responsive, +and feeling it a dreadful liberty so to roar out her name, was almost +as bad as playing to order. But she answered at last, and her light came +along the dark passage like a star. + +Miss Havisham beckoned her to come close, and took up a jewel from the +table, and tried its effect upon her fair young bosom and against her +pretty brown hair. "Your own, one day, my dear, and you will use it +well. Let me see you play cards with this boy." + +"With this boy? Why, he is a common laboring boy!" + +I thought I overheard Miss Havisham answer,--only it seemed so +unlikely,--"Well? You can break his heart." + +"What do you play, boy?" asked Estella of myself, with the greatest +disdain. + +"Nothing but beggar my neighbor, miss." + +"Beggar him," said Miss Havisham to Estella. So we sat down to cards. + +It was then I began to understand that everything in the room had +stopped, like the watch and the clock, a long time ago. I noticed that +Miss Havisham put down the jewel exactly on the spot from which she had +taken it up. As Estella dealt the cards, I glanced at the dressing-table +again, and saw that the shoe upon it, once white, now yellow, had never +been worn. I glanced down at the foot from which the shoe was absent, +and saw that the silk stocking on it, once white, now yellow, had been +trodden ragged. Without this arrest of everything, this standing still +of all the pale decayed objects, not even the withered bridal dress on +the collapsed form could have looked so like grave-clothes, or the long +veil so like a shroud. + +So she sat, corpse-like, as we played at cards; the frillings and +trimmings on her bridal dress, looking like earthy paper. I knew nothing +then of the discoveries that are occasionally made of bodies buried in +ancient times, which fall to powder in the moment of being distinctly +seen; but, I have often thought since, that she must have looked as if +the admission of the natural light of day would have struck her to dust. + +"He calls the knaves Jacks, this boy!" said Estella with disdain, before +our first game was out. "And what coarse hands he has! And what thick +boots!" + +I had never thought of being ashamed of my hands before; but I began +to consider them a very indifferent pair. Her contempt for me was so +strong, that it became infectious, and I caught it. + +She won the game, and I dealt. I misdealt, as was only natural, when I +knew she was lying in wait for me to do wrong; and she denounced me for +a stupid, clumsy laboring-boy. + +"You say nothing of her," remarked Miss Havisham to me, as she looked +on. "She says many hard things of you, but you say nothing of her. What +do you think of her?" + +"I don't like to say," I stammered. + +"Tell me in my ear," said Miss Havisham, bending down. + +"I think she is very proud," I replied, in a whisper. + +"Anything else?" + +"I think she is very pretty." + +"Anything else?" + +"I think she is very insulting." (She was looking at me then with a look +of supreme aversion.) + +"Anything else?" + +"I think I should like to go home." + +"And never see her again, though she is so pretty?" + +"I am not sure that I shouldn't like to see her again, but I should like +to go home now." + +"You shall go soon," said Miss Havisham, aloud. "Play the game out." + +Saving for the one weird smile at first, I should have felt almost +sure that Miss Havisham's face could not smile. It had dropped into a +watchful and brooding expression,--most likely when all the things about +her had become transfixed,--and it looked as if nothing could ever lift +it up again. Her chest had dropped, so that she stooped; and her voice +had dropped, so that she spoke low, and with a dead lull upon her; +altogether, she had the appearance of having dropped body and soul, +within and without, under the weight of a crushing blow. + +I played the game to an end with Estella, and she beggared me. She +threw the cards down on the table when she had won them all, as if she +despised them for having been won of me. + +"When shall I have you here again?" said Miss Havisham. "Let me think." + +I was beginning to remind her that to-day was Wednesday, when she +checked me with her former impatient movement of the fingers of her +right hand. + +"There, there! I know nothing of days of the week; I know nothing of +weeks of the year. Come again after six days. You hear?" + +"Yes, ma'am." + +"Estella, take him down. Let him have something to eat, and let him roam +and look about him while he eats. Go, Pip." + +I followed the candle down, as I had followed the candle up, and she +stood it in the place where we had found it. Until she opened the +side entrance, I had fancied, without thinking about it, that it must +necessarily be night-time. The rush of the daylight quite confounded me, +and made me feel as if I had been in the candlelight of the strange room +many hours. + +"You are to wait here, you boy," said Estella; and disappeared and +closed the door. + +I took the opportunity of being alone in the courtyard to look at my +coarse hands and my common boots. My opinion of those accessories was +not favorable. They had never troubled me before, but they troubled +me now, as vulgar appendages. I determined to ask Joe why he had ever +taught me to call those picture-cards Jacks, which ought to be called +knaves. I wished Joe had been rather more genteelly brought up, and then +I should have been so too. + +She came back, with some bread and meat and a little mug of beer. She +put the mug down on the stones of the yard, and gave me the bread +and meat without looking at me, as insolently as if I were a dog in +disgrace. I was so humiliated, hurt, spurned, offended, angry, sorry,--I +cannot hit upon the right name for the smart--God knows what its name +was,--that tears started to my eyes. The moment they sprang there, the +girl looked at me with a quick delight in having been the cause of them. +This gave me power to keep them back and to look at her: so, she gave a +contemptuous toss--but with a sense, I thought, of having made too sure +that I was so wounded--and left me. + +But when she was gone, I looked about me for a place to hide my face +in, and got behind one of the gates in the brewery-lane, and leaned my +sleeve against the wall there, and leaned my forehead on it and cried. +As I cried, I kicked the wall, and took a hard twist at my hair; so +bitter were my feelings, and so sharp was the smart without a name, that +needed counteraction. + +My sister's bringing up had made me sensitive. In the little world in +which children have their existence whosoever brings them up, there is +nothing so finely perceived and so finely felt as injustice. It may be +only small injustice that the child can be exposed to; but the child +is small, and its world is small, and its rocking-horse stands as many +hands high, according to scale, as a big-boned Irish hunter. Within +myself, I had sustained, from my babyhood, a perpetual conflict with +injustice. I had known, from the time when I could speak, that my +sister, in her capricious and violent coercion, was unjust to me. I had +cherished a profound conviction that her bringing me up by hand gave her +no right to bring me up by jerks. Through all my punishments, disgraces, +fasts, and vigils, and other penitential performances, I had nursed +this assurance; and to my communing so much with it, in a solitary and +unprotected way, I in great part refer the fact that I was morally timid +and very sensitive. + +I got rid of my injured feelings for the time by kicking them into the +brewery wall, and twisting them out of my hair, and then I smoothed my +face with my sleeve, and came from behind the gate. The bread and meat +were acceptable, and the beer was warming and tingling, and I was soon +in spirits to look about me. + +To be sure, it was a deserted place, down to the pigeon-house in the +brewery-yard, which had been blown crooked on its pole by some high +wind, and would have made the pigeons think themselves at sea, if there +had been any pigeons there to be rocked by it. But there were no pigeons +in the dove-cot, no horses in the stable, no pigs in the sty, no malt in +the storehouse, no smells of grains and beer in the copper or the vat. +All the uses and scents of the brewery might have evaporated with its +last reek of smoke. In a by-yard, there was a wilderness of empty casks, +which had a certain sour remembrance of better days lingering about +them; but it was too sour to be accepted as a sample of the beer that +was gone,--and in this respect I remember those recluses as being like +most others. + +Behind the furthest end of the brewery, was a rank garden with an old +wall; not so high but that I could struggle up and hold on long enough +to look over it, and see that the rank garden was the garden of the +house, and that it was overgrown with tangled weeds, but that there was +a track upon the green and yellow paths, as if some one sometimes walked +there, and that Estella was walking away from me even then. But she +seemed to be everywhere. For when I yielded to the temptation presented +by the casks, and began to walk on them, I saw her walking on them at +the end of the yard of casks. She had her back towards me, and held her +pretty brown hair spread out in her two hands, and never looked round, +and passed out of my view directly. So, in the brewery itself,--by which +I mean the large paved lofty place in which they used to make the beer, +and where the brewing utensils still were. When I first went into it, +and, rather oppressed by its gloom, stood near the door looking about +me, I saw her pass among the extinguished fires, and ascend some light +iron stairs, and go out by a gallery high overhead, as if she were going +out into the sky. + +It was in this place, and at this moment, that a strange thing happened +to my fancy. I thought it a strange thing then, and I thought it a +stranger thing long afterwards. I turned my eyes--a little dimmed by +looking up at the frosty light--towards a great wooden beam in a low +nook of the building near me on my right hand, and I saw a figure +hanging there by the neck. A figure all in yellow white, with but +one shoe to the feet; and it hung so, that I could see that the faded +trimmings of the dress were like earthy paper, and that the face was +Miss Havisham's, with a movement going over the whole countenance as if +she were trying to call to me. In the terror of seeing the figure, +and in the terror of being certain that it had not been there a moment +before, I at first ran from it, and then ran towards it. And my terror +was greatest of all when I found no figure there. + +Nothing less than the frosty light of the cheerful sky, the sight of +people passing beyond the bars of the court-yard gate, and the reviving +influence of the rest of the bread and meat and beer, would have brought +me round. Even with those aids, I might not have come to myself as soon +as I did, but that I saw Estella approaching with the keys, to let +me out. She would have some fair reason for looking down upon me, I +thought, if she saw me frightened; and she would have no fair reason. + +She gave me a triumphant glance in passing me, as if she rejoiced that +my hands were so coarse and my boots were so thick, and she opened the +gate, and stood holding it. I was passing out without looking at her, +when she touched me with a taunting hand. + +"Why don't you cry?" + +"Because I don't want to." + +"You do," said she. "You have been crying till you are half blind, and +you are near crying again now." + +She laughed contemptuously, pushed me out, and locked the gate upon me. +I went straight to Mr. Pumblechook's, and was immensely relieved to find +him not at home. So, leaving word with the shopman on what day I was +wanted at Miss Havisham's again, I set off on the four-mile walk to +our forge; pondering, as I went along, on all I had seen, and deeply +revolving that I was a common laboring-boy; that my hands were coarse; +that my boots were thick; that I had fallen into a despicable habit +of calling knaves Jacks; that I was much more ignorant than I had +considered myself last night, and generally that I was in a low-lived +bad way. + + + + +Chapter IX + +When I reached home, my sister was very curious to know all about Miss +Havisham's, and asked a number of questions. And I soon found myself +getting heavily bumped from behind in the nape of the neck and the small +of the back, and having my face ignominiously shoved against the kitchen +wall, because I did not answer those questions at sufficient length. + +If a dread of not being understood be hidden in the breasts of other +young people to anything like the extent to which it used to be hidden +in mine,--which I consider probable, as I have no particular reason +to suspect myself of having been a monstrosity,--it is the key to many +reservations. I felt convinced that if I described Miss Havisham's as my +eyes had seen it, I should not be understood. Not only that, but I felt +convinced that Miss Havisham too would not be understood; and although +she was perfectly incomprehensible to me, I entertained an impression +that there would be something coarse and treacherous in my dragging +her as she really was (to say nothing of Miss Estella) before the +contemplation of Mrs. Joe. Consequently, I said as little as I could, +and had my face shoved against the kitchen wall. + +The worst of it was that that bullying old Pumblechook, preyed upon by +a devouring curiosity to be informed of all I had seen and heard, came +gaping over in his chaise-cart at tea-time, to have the details divulged +to him. And the mere sight of the torment, with his fishy eyes and mouth +open, his sandy hair inquisitively on end, and his waistcoat heaving +with windy arithmetic, made me vicious in my reticence. + +"Well, boy," Uncle Pumblechook began, as soon as he was seated in the +chair of honor by the fire. "How did you get on up town?" + +I answered, "Pretty well, sir," and my sister shook her fist at me. + +"Pretty well?" Mr. Pumblechook repeated. "Pretty well is no answer. Tell +us what you mean by pretty well, boy?" + +Whitewash on the forehead hardens the brain into a state of obstinacy +perhaps. Anyhow, with whitewash from the wall on my forehead, my +obstinacy was adamantine. I reflected for some time, and then answered +as if I had discovered a new idea, "I mean pretty well." + +My sister with an exclamation of impatience was going to fly at me,--I +had no shadow of defence, for Joe was busy in the forge,--when Mr. +Pumblechook interposed with "No! Don't lose your temper. Leave this +lad to me, ma'am; leave this lad to me." Mr. Pumblechook then turned me +towards him, as if he were going to cut my hair, and said,-- + +"First (to get our thoughts in order): Forty-three pence?" + +I calculated the consequences of replying "Four Hundred Pound," and +finding them against me, went as near the answer as I could--which was +somewhere about eightpence off. Mr. Pumblechook then put me through my +pence-table from "twelve pence make one shilling," up to "forty pence +make three and fourpence," and then triumphantly demanded, as if he had +done for me, "Now! How much is forty-three pence?" To which I replied, +after a long interval of reflection, "I don't know." And I was so +aggravated that I almost doubt if I did know. + +Mr. Pumblechook worked his head like a screw to screw it out of me, +and said, "Is forty-three pence seven and sixpence three fardens, for +instance?" + +"Yes!" said I. And although my sister instantly boxed my ears, it was +highly gratifying to me to see that the answer spoilt his joke, and +brought him to a dead stop. + +"Boy! What like is Miss Havisham?" Mr. Pumblechook began again when +he had recovered; folding his arms tight on his chest and applying the +screw. + +"Very tall and dark," I told him. + +"Is she, uncle?" asked my sister. + +Mr. Pumblechook winked assent; from which I at once inferred that he had +never seen Miss Havisham, for she was nothing of the kind. + +"Good!" said Mr. Pumblechook conceitedly. ("This is the way to have him! +We are beginning to hold our own, I think, Mum?") + +"I am sure, uncle," returned Mrs. Joe, "I wish you had him always; you +know so well how to deal with him." + +"Now, boy! What was she a doing of, when you went in today?" asked Mr. +Pumblechook. + +"She was sitting," I answered, "in a black velvet coach." + +Mr. Pumblechook and Mrs. Joe stared at one another--as they well +might--and both repeated, "In a black velvet coach?" + +"Yes," said I. "And Miss Estella--that's her niece, I think--handed her +in cake and wine at the coach-window, on a gold plate. And we all had +cake and wine on gold plates. And I got up behind the coach to eat mine, +because she told me to." + +"Was anybody else there?" asked Mr. Pumblechook. + +"Four dogs," said I. + +"Large or small?" + +"Immense," said I. "And they fought for veal-cutlets out of a silver +basket." + +Mr. Pumblechook and Mrs. Joe stared at one another again, in utter +amazement. I was perfectly frantic,--a reckless witness under the +torture,--and would have told them anything. + +"Where was this coach, in the name of gracious?" asked my sister. + +"In Miss Havisham's room." They stared again. "But there weren't any +horses to it." I added this saving clause, in the moment of rejecting +four richly caparisoned coursers which I had had wild thoughts of +harnessing. + +"Can this be possible, uncle?" asked Mrs. Joe. "What can the boy mean?" + +"I'll tell you, Mum," said Mr. Pumblechook. "My opinion is, it's a +sedan-chair. She's flighty, you know,--very flighty,--quite flighty +enough to pass her days in a sedan-chair." + +"Did you ever see her in it, uncle?" asked Mrs. Joe. + +"How could I," he returned, forced to the admission, "when I never see +her in my life? Never clapped eyes upon her!" + +"Goodness, uncle! And yet you have spoken to her?" + +"Why, don't you know," said Mr. Pumblechook, testily, "that when I have +been there, I have been took up to the outside of her door, and the door +has stood ajar, and she has spoke to me that way. Don't say you don't +know that, Mum. Howsever, the boy went there to play. What did you play +at, boy?" + +"We played with flags," I said. (I beg to observe that I think of myself +with amazement, when I recall the lies I told on this occasion.) + +"Flags!" echoed my sister. + +"Yes," said I. "Estella waved a blue flag, and I waved a red one, and +Miss Havisham waved one sprinkled all over with little gold stars, out +at the coach-window. And then we all waved our swords and hurrahed." + +"Swords!" repeated my sister. "Where did you get swords from?" + +"Out of a cupboard," said I. "And I saw pistols in it,--and jam,--and +pills. And there was no daylight in the room, but it was all lighted up +with candles." + +"That's true, Mum," said Mr. Pumblechook, with a grave nod. "That's the +state of the case, for that much I've seen myself." And then they +both stared at me, and I, with an obtrusive show of artlessness on my +countenance, stared at them, and plaited the right leg of my trousers +with my right hand. + +If they had asked me any more questions, I should undoubtedly have +betrayed myself, for I was even then on the point of mentioning that +there was a balloon in the yard, and should have hazarded the statement +but for my invention being divided between that phenomenon and a bear +in the brewery. They were so much occupied, however, in discussing the +marvels I had already presented for their consideration, that I escaped. +The subject still held them when Joe came in from his work to have a cup +of tea. To whom my sister, more for the relief of her own mind than for +the gratification of his, related my pretended experiences. + +Now, when I saw Joe open his blue eyes and roll them all round the +kitchen in helpless amazement, I was overtaken by penitence; but only as +regarded him,--not in the least as regarded the other two. Towards +Joe, and Joe only, I considered myself a young monster, while they sat +debating what results would come to me from Miss Havisham's acquaintance +and favor. They had no doubt that Miss Havisham would "do something" +for me; their doubts related to the form that something would take. +My sister stood out for "property." Mr. Pumblechook was in favor of a +handsome premium for binding me apprentice to some genteel trade,--say, +the corn and seed trade, for instance. Joe fell into the deepest +disgrace with both, for offering the bright suggestion that I might only +be presented with one of the dogs who had fought for the veal-cutlets. +"If a fool's head can't express better opinions than that," said my +sister, "and you have got any work to do, you had better go and do it." +So he went. + +After Mr. Pumblechook had driven off, and when my sister was washing up, +I stole into the forge to Joe, and remained by him until he had done for +the night. Then I said, "Before the fire goes out, Joe, I should like to +tell you something." + +"Should you, Pip?" said Joe, drawing his shoeing-stool near the forge. +"Then tell us. What is it, Pip?" + +"Joe," said I, taking hold of his rolled-up shirt sleeve, and twisting +it between my finger and thumb, "you remember all that about Miss +Havisham's?" + +"Remember?" said Joe. "I believe you! Wonderful!" + +"It's a terrible thing, Joe; it ain't true." + +"What are you telling of, Pip?" cried Joe, falling back in the greatest +amazement. "You don't mean to say it's--" + +"Yes I do; it's lies, Joe." + +"But not all of it? Why sure you don't mean to say, Pip, that there was +no black welwet co--eh?" For, I stood shaking my head. "But at least +there was dogs, Pip? Come, Pip," said Joe, persuasively, "if there +warn't no weal-cutlets, at least there was dogs?" + +"No, Joe." + +"A dog?" said Joe. "A puppy? Come?" + +"No, Joe, there was nothing at all of the kind." + +As I fixed my eyes hopelessly on Joe, Joe contemplated me in dismay. +"Pip, old chap! This won't do, old fellow! I say! Where do you expect to +go to?" + +"It's terrible, Joe; ain't it?" + +"Terrible?" cried Joe. "Awful! What possessed you?" + +"I don't know what possessed me, Joe," I replied, letting his shirt +sleeve go, and sitting down in the ashes at his feet, hanging my head; +"but I wish you hadn't taught me to call Knaves at cards Jacks; and I +wish my boots weren't so thick nor my hands so coarse." + +And then I told Joe that I felt very miserable, and that I hadn't been +able to explain myself to Mrs. Joe and Pumblechook, who were so rude to +me, and that there had been a beautiful young lady at Miss Havisham's +who was dreadfully proud, and that she had said I was common, and that I +knew I was common, and that I wished I was not common, and that the lies +had come of it somehow, though I didn't know how. + +This was a case of metaphysics, at least as difficult for Joe to deal +with as for me. But Joe took the case altogether out of the region of +metaphysics, and by that means vanquished it. + +"There's one thing you may be sure of, Pip," said Joe, after some +rumination, "namely, that lies is lies. Howsever they come, they didn't +ought to come, and they come from the father of lies, and work round to +the same. Don't you tell no more of 'em, Pip. That ain't the way to get +out of being common, old chap. And as to being common, I don't make +it out at all clear. You are oncommon in some things. You're oncommon +small. Likewise you're a oncommon scholar." + +"No, I am ignorant and backward, Joe." + +"Why, see what a letter you wrote last night! Wrote in print even! I've +seen letters--Ah! and from gentlefolks!--that I'll swear weren't wrote +in print," said Joe. + +"I have learnt next to nothing, Joe. You think much of me. It's only +that." + +"Well, Pip," said Joe, "be it so or be it son't, you must be a common +scholar afore you can be a oncommon one, I should hope! The king upon +his throne, with his crown upon his ed, can't sit and write his acts +of Parliament in print, without having begun, when he were a unpromoted +Prince, with the alphabet.--Ah!" added Joe, with a shake of the head +that was full of meaning, "and begun at A too, and worked his way to Z. +And I know what that is to do, though I can't say I've exactly done it." + +There was some hope in this piece of wisdom, and it rather encouraged +me. + +"Whether common ones as to callings and earnings," pursued Joe, +reflectively, "mightn't be the better of continuing for to keep +company with common ones, instead of going out to play with oncommon +ones,--which reminds me to hope that there were a flag, perhaps?" + +"No, Joe." + +"(I'm sorry there weren't a flag, Pip). Whether that might be or +mightn't be, is a thing as can't be looked into now, without putting +your sister on the Rampage; and that's a thing not to be thought of as +being done intentional. Lookee here, Pip, at what is said to you by a +true friend. Which this to you the true friend say. If you can't get to +be oncommon through going straight, you'll never get to do it through +going crooked. So don't tell no more on 'em, Pip, and live well and die +happy." + +"You are not angry with me, Joe?" + +"No, old chap. But bearing in mind that them were which I meantersay +of a stunning and outdacious sort,--alluding to them which bordered on +weal-cutlets and dog-fighting,--a sincere well-wisher would adwise, Pip, +their being dropped into your meditations, when you go upstairs to bed. +That's all, old chap, and don't never do it no more." + +When I got up to my little room and said my prayers, I did not forget +Joe's recommendation, and yet my young mind was in that disturbed and +unthankful state, that I thought long after I laid me down, how common +Estella would consider Joe, a mere blacksmith; how thick his boots, and +how coarse his hands. I thought how Joe and my sister were then sitting +in the kitchen, and how I had come up to bed from the kitchen, and how +Miss Havisham and Estella never sat in a kitchen, but were far above the +level of such common doings. I fell asleep recalling what I "used to +do" when I was at Miss Havisham's; as though I had been there weeks or +months, instead of hours; and as though it were quite an old subject of +remembrance, instead of one that had arisen only that day. + +That was a memorable day to me, for it made great changes in me. But it +is the same with any life. Imagine one selected day struck out of it, +and think how different its course would have been. Pause you who read +this, and think for a moment of the long chain of iron or gold, +of thorns or flowers, that would never have bound you, but for the +formation of the first link on one memorable day. + + + + +Chapter X + +The felicitous idea occurred to me a morning or two later when I woke, +that the best step I could take towards making myself uncommon was to +get out of Biddy everything she knew. In pursuance of this luminous +conception I mentioned to Biddy when I went to Mr. Wopsle's great-aunt's +at night, that I had a particular reason for wishing to get on in life, +and that I should feel very much obliged to her if she would impart +all her learning to me. Biddy, who was the most obliging of girls, +immediately said she would, and indeed began to carry out her promise +within five minutes. + +The Educational scheme or Course established by Mr. Wopsle's great-aunt +may be resolved into the following synopsis. The pupils ate apples +and put straws down one another's backs, until Mr. Wopsle's great-aunt +collected her energies, and made an indiscriminate totter at them with +a birch-rod. After receiving the charge with every mark of derision, the +pupils formed in line and buzzingly passed a ragged book from hand to +hand. The book had an alphabet in it, some figures and tables, and +a little spelling,--that is to say, it had had once. As soon as this +volume began to circulate, Mr. Wopsle's great-aunt fell into a state of +coma, arising either from sleep or a rheumatic paroxysm. The pupils then +entered among themselves upon a competitive examination on the subject +of Boots, with the view of ascertaining who could tread the hardest upon +whose toes. This mental exercise lasted until Biddy made a rush at +them and distributed three defaced Bibles (shaped as if they had been +unskilfully cut off the chump end of something), more illegibly printed +at the best than any curiosities of literature I have since met with, +speckled all over with ironmould, and having various specimens of the +insect world smashed between their leaves. This part of the Course was +usually lightened by several single combats between Biddy and refractory +students. When the fights were over, Biddy gave out the number of a +page, and then we all read aloud what we could,--or what we couldn't--in +a frightful chorus; Biddy leading with a high, shrill, monotonous voice, +and none of us having the least notion of, or reverence for, what we +were reading about. When this horrible din had lasted a certain time, +it mechanically awoke Mr. Wopsle's great-aunt, who staggered at a boy +fortuitously, and pulled his ears. This was understood to terminate +the Course for the evening, and we emerged into the air with shrieks of +intellectual victory. It is fair to remark that there was no prohibition +against any pupil's entertaining himself with a slate or even with the +ink (when there was any), but that it was not easy to pursue that branch +of study in the winter season, on account of the little general shop +in which the classes were holden--and which was also Mr. Wopsle's +great-aunt's sitting-room and bedchamber--being but faintly illuminated +through the agency of one low-spirited dip-candle and no snuffers. + +It appeared to me that it would take time to become uncommon, under +these circumstances: nevertheless, I resolved to try it, and that +very evening Biddy entered on our special agreement, by imparting some +information from her little catalogue of Prices, under the head of moist +sugar, and lending me, to copy at home, a large old English D which she +had imitated from the heading of some newspaper, and which I supposed, +until she told me what it was, to be a design for a buckle. + +Of course there was a public-house in the village, and of course Joe +liked sometimes to smoke his pipe there. I had received strict orders +from my sister to call for him at the Three Jolly Bargemen, that +evening, on my way from school, and bring him home at my peril. To the +Three Jolly Bargemen, therefore, I directed my steps. + +There was a bar at the Jolly Bargemen, with some alarmingly long chalk +scores in it on the wall at the side of the door, which seemed to me to +be never paid off. They had been there ever since I could remember, and +had grown more than I had. But there was a quantity of chalk about our +country, and perhaps the people neglected no opportunity of turning it +to account. + +It being Saturday night, I found the landlord looking rather grimly +at these records; but as my business was with Joe and not with him, I +merely wished him good evening, and passed into the common room at the +end of the passage, where there was a bright large kitchen fire, +and where Joe was smoking his pipe in company with Mr. Wopsle and a +stranger. Joe greeted me as usual with "Halloa, Pip, old chap!" and the +moment he said that, the stranger turned his head and looked at me. + +He was a secret-looking man whom I had never seen before. His head was +all on one side, and one of his eyes was half shut up, as if he were +taking aim at something with an invisible gun. He had a pipe in his +mouth, and he took it out, and, after slowly blowing all his smoke away +and looking hard at me all the time, nodded. So, I nodded, and then he +nodded again, and made room on the settle beside him that I might sit +down there. + +But as I was used to sit beside Joe whenever I entered that place of +resort, I said "No, thank you, sir," and fell into the space Joe made +for me on the opposite settle. The strange man, after glancing at Joe, +and seeing that his attention was otherwise engaged, nodded to me again +when I had taken my seat, and then rubbed his leg--in a very odd way, as +it struck me. + +"You was saying," said the strange man, turning to Joe, "that you was a +blacksmith." + +"Yes. I said it, you know," said Joe. + +"What'll you drink, Mr.--? You didn't mention your name, by the bye." + +Joe mentioned it now, and the strange man called him by it. "What'll you +drink, Mr. Gargery? At my expense? To top up with?" + +"Well," said Joe, "to tell you the truth, I ain't much in the habit of +drinking at anybody's expense but my own." + +"Habit? No," returned the stranger, "but once and away, and on a +Saturday night too. Come! Put a name to it, Mr. Gargery." + +"I wouldn't wish to be stiff company," said Joe. "Rum." + +"Rum," repeated the stranger. "And will the other gentleman originate a +sentiment." + +"Rum," said Mr. Wopsle. + +"Three Rums!" cried the stranger, calling to the landlord. "Glasses +round!" + +"This other gentleman," observed Joe, by way of introducing Mr. Wopsle, +"is a gentleman that you would like to hear give it out. Our clerk at +church." + +"Aha!" said the stranger, quickly, and cocking his eye at me. "The +lonely church, right out on the marshes, with graves round it!" + +"That's it," said Joe. + +The stranger, with a comfortable kind of grunt over his pipe, put +his legs up on the settle that he had to himself. He wore a flapping +broad-brimmed traveller's hat, and under it a handkerchief tied over his +head in the manner of a cap: so that he showed no hair. As he looked +at the fire, I thought I saw a cunning expression, followed by a +half-laugh, come into his face. + +"I am not acquainted with this country, gentlemen, but it seems a +solitary country towards the river." + +"Most marshes is solitary," said Joe. + +"No doubt, no doubt. Do you find any gypsies, now, or tramps, or +vagrants of any sort, out there?" + +"No," said Joe; "none but a runaway convict now and then. And we don't +find them, easy. Eh, Mr. Wopsle?" + +Mr. Wopsle, with a majestic remembrance of old discomfiture, assented; +but not warmly. + +"Seems you have been out after such?" asked the stranger. + +"Once," returned Joe. "Not that we wanted to take them, you understand; +we went out as lookers on; me, and Mr. Wopsle, and Pip. Didn't us, Pip?" + +"Yes, Joe." + +The stranger looked at me again,--still cocking his eye, as if he were +expressly taking aim at me with his invisible gun,--and said, "He's a +likely young parcel of bones that. What is it you call him?" + +"Pip," said Joe. + +"Christened Pip?" + +"No, not christened Pip." + +"Surname Pip?" + +"No," said Joe, "it's a kind of family name what he gave himself when a +infant, and is called by." + +"Son of yours?" + +"Well," said Joe, meditatively, not, of course, that it could be in +anywise necessary to consider about it, but because it was the way at +the Jolly Bargemen to seem to consider deeply about everything that was +discussed over pipes,--"well--no. No, he ain't." + +"Nevvy?" said the strange man. + +"Well," said Joe, with the same appearance of profound cogitation, "he +is not--no, not to deceive you, he is not--my nevvy." + +"What the Blue Blazes is he?" asked the stranger. Which appeared to me +to be an inquiry of unnecessary strength. + +Mr. Wopsle struck in upon that; as one who knew all about relationships, +having professional occasion to bear in mind what female relations a man +might not marry; and expounded the ties between me and Joe. Having +his hand in, Mr. Wopsle finished off with a most terrifically snarling +passage from Richard the Third, and seemed to think he had done quite +enough to account for it when he added, "--as the poet says." + +And here I may remark that when Mr. Wopsle referred to me, he considered +it a necessary part of such reference to rumple my hair and poke it into +my eyes. I cannot conceive why everybody of his standing who visited +at our house should always have put me through the same inflammatory +process under similar circumstances. Yet I do not call to mind that I +was ever in my earlier youth the subject of remark in our social family +circle, but some large-handed person took some such ophthalmic steps to +patronize me. + +All this while, the strange man looked at nobody but me, and looked at +me as if he were determined to have a shot at me at last, and bring me +down. But he said nothing after offering his Blue Blazes observation, +until the glasses of rum and water were brought; and then he made his +shot, and a most extraordinary shot it was. + +It was not a verbal remark, but a proceeding in dumb-show, and was +pointedly addressed to me. He stirred his rum and water pointedly at me, +and he tasted his rum and water pointedly at me. And he stirred it and +he tasted it; not with a spoon that was brought to him, but with a file. + +He did this so that nobody but I saw the file; and when he had done it +he wiped the file and put it in a breast-pocket. I knew it to be +Joe's file, and I knew that he knew my convict, the moment I saw the +instrument. I sat gazing at him, spell-bound. But he now reclined on his +settle, taking very little notice of me, and talking principally about +turnips. + +There was a delicious sense of cleaning-up and making a quiet pause +before going on in life afresh, in our village on Saturday nights, which +stimulated Joe to dare to stay out half an hour longer on Saturdays +than at other times. The half-hour and the rum and water running out +together, Joe got up to go, and took me by the hand. + +"Stop half a moment, Mr. Gargery," said the strange man. "I think I've +got a bright new shilling somewhere in my pocket, and if I have, the boy +shall have it." + +He looked it out from a handful of small change, folded it in some +crumpled paper, and gave it to me. "Yours!" said he. "Mind! Your own." + +I thanked him, staring at him far beyond the bounds of good manners, +and holding tight to Joe. He gave Joe good-night, and he gave Mr. Wopsle +good-night (who went out with us), and he gave me only a look with his +aiming eye,--no, not a look, for he shut it up, but wonders may be done +with an eye by hiding it. + +On the way home, if I had been in a humor for talking, the talk must +have been all on my side, for Mr. Wopsle parted from us at the door of +the Jolly Bargemen, and Joe went all the way home with his mouth wide +open, to rinse the rum out with as much air as possible. But I was in +a manner stupefied by this turning up of my old misdeed and old +acquaintance, and could think of nothing else. + +My sister was not in a very bad temper when we presented ourselves in +the kitchen, and Joe was encouraged by that unusual circumstance to tell +her about the bright shilling. "A bad un, I'll be bound," said Mrs. Joe +triumphantly, "or he wouldn't have given it to the boy! Let's look at +it." + +I took it out of the paper, and it proved to be a good one. "But what's +this?" said Mrs. Joe, throwing down the shilling and catching up the +paper. "Two One-Pound notes?" + +Nothing less than two fat sweltering one-pound notes that seemed to have +been on terms of the warmest intimacy with all the cattle-markets in +the county. Joe caught up his hat again, and ran with them to the Jolly +Bargemen to restore them to their owner. While he was gone, I sat down +on my usual stool and looked vacantly at my sister, feeling pretty sure +that the man would not be there. + +Presently, Joe came back, saying that the man was gone, but that he, +Joe, had left word at the Three Jolly Bargemen concerning the notes. +Then my sister sealed them up in a piece of paper, and put them under +some dried rose-leaves in an ornamental teapot on the top of a press in +the state parlor. There they remained, a nightmare to me, many and many +a night and day. + +I had sadly broken sleep when I got to bed, through thinking of the +strange man taking aim at me with his invisible gun, and of the guiltily +coarse and common thing it was, to be on secret terms of conspiracy with +convicts,--a feature in my low career that I had previously forgotten. +I was haunted by the file too. A dread possessed me that when I least +expected it, the file would reappear. I coaxed myself to sleep by +thinking of Miss Havisham's, next Wednesday; and in my sleep I saw +the file coming at me out of a door, without seeing who held it, and I +screamed myself awake. + + + + +Chapter XI + +At the appointed time I returned to Miss Havisham's, and my hesitating +ring at the gate brought out Estella. She locked it after admitting +me, as she had done before, and again preceded me into the dark passage +where her candle stood. She took no notice of me until she had the +candle in her hand, when she looked over her shoulder, superciliously +saying, "You are to come this way to-day," and took me to quite another +part of the house. + +The passage was a long one, and seemed to pervade the whole square +basement of the Manor House. We traversed but one side of the square, +however, and at the end of it she stopped, and put her candle down and +opened a door. Here, the daylight reappeared, and I found myself in +a small paved courtyard, the opposite side of which was formed by a +detached dwelling-house, that looked as if it had once belonged to the +manager or head clerk of the extinct brewery. There was a clock in the +outer wall of this house. Like the clock in Miss Havisham's room, and +like Miss Havisham's watch, it had stopped at twenty minutes to nine. + +We went in at the door, which stood open, and into a gloomy room with a +low ceiling, on the ground-floor at the back. There was some company in +the room, and Estella said to me as she joined it, "You are to go and +stand there boy, till you are wanted." "There", being the window, I +crossed to it, and stood "there," in a very uncomfortable state of mind, +looking out. + +It opened to the ground, and looked into a most miserable corner of the +neglected garden, upon a rank ruin of cabbage-stalks, and one box-tree +that had been clipped round long ago, like a pudding, and had a new +growth at the top of it, out of shape and of a different color, as if +that part of the pudding had stuck to the saucepan and got burnt. This +was my homely thought, as I contemplated the box-tree. There had been +some light snow, overnight, and it lay nowhere else to my knowledge; +but, it had not quite melted from the cold shadow of this bit of garden, +and the wind caught it up in little eddies and threw it at the window, +as if it pelted me for coming there. + +I divined that my coming had stopped conversation in the room, and that +its other occupants were looking at me. I could see nothing of the room +except the shining of the fire in the window-glass, but I stiffened in +all my joints with the consciousness that I was under close inspection. + +There were three ladies in the room and one gentleman. Before I had been +standing at the window five minutes, they somehow conveyed to me that +they were all toadies and humbugs, but that each of them pretended not +to know that the others were toadies and humbugs: because the admission +that he or she did know it, would have made him or her out to be a toady +and humbug. + +They all had a listless and dreary air of waiting somebody's pleasure, +and the most talkative of the ladies had to speak quite rigidly to +repress a yawn. This lady, whose name was Camilla, very much reminded +me of my sister, with the difference that she was older, and (as I found +when I caught sight of her) of a blunter cast of features. Indeed, when +I knew her better I began to think it was a Mercy she had any features +at all, so very blank and high was the dead wall of her face. + +"Poor dear soul!" said this lady, with an abruptness of manner quite my +sister's. "Nobody's enemy but his own!" + +"It would be much more commendable to be somebody else's enemy," said +the gentleman; "far more natural." + +"Cousin Raymond," observed another lady, "we are to love our neighbor." + +"Sarah Pocket," returned Cousin Raymond, "if a man is not his own +neighbor, who is?" + +Miss Pocket laughed, and Camilla laughed and said (checking a yawn), +"The idea!" But I thought they seemed to think it rather a good +idea too. The other lady, who had not spoken yet, said gravely and +emphatically, "Very true!" + +"Poor soul!" Camilla presently went on (I knew they had all been looking +at me in the mean time), "he is so very strange! Would anyone believe +that when Tom's wife died, he actually could not be induced to see the +importance of the children's having the deepest of trimmings to their +mourning? 'Good Lord!' says he, 'Camilla, what can it signify so long +as the poor bereaved little things are in black?' So like Matthew! The +idea!" + +"Good points in him, good points in him," said Cousin Raymond; "Heaven +forbid I should deny good points in him; but he never had, and he never +will have, any sense of the proprieties." + +"You know I was obliged," said Camilla,--"I was obliged to be firm. I +said, 'It WILL NOT DO, for the credit of the family.' I told him that, +without deep trimmings, the family was disgraced. I cried about it from +breakfast till dinner. I injured my digestion. And at last he flung out +in his violent way, and said, with a D, 'Then do as you like.' Thank +Goodness it will always be a consolation to me to know that I instantly +went out in a pouring rain and bought the things." + +"He paid for them, did he not?" asked Estella. + +"It's not the question, my dear child, who paid for them," returned +Camilla. "I bought them. And I shall often think of that with peace, +when I wake up in the night." + +The ringing of a distant bell, combined with the echoing of some cry or +call along the passage by which I had come, interrupted the conversation +and caused Estella to say to me, "Now, boy!" On my turning round, they +all looked at me with the utmost contempt, and, as I went out, I heard +Sarah Pocket say, "Well I am sure! What next!" and Camilla add, with +indignation, "Was there ever such a fancy! The i-de-a!" + +As we were going with our candle along the dark passage, Estella stopped +all of a sudden, and, facing round, said in her taunting manner, with +her face quite close to mine,-- + +"Well?" + +"Well, miss?" I answered, almost falling over her and checking myself. + +She stood looking at me, and, of course, I stood looking at her. + +"Am I pretty?" + +"Yes; I think you are very pretty." + +"Am I insulting?" + +"Not so much so as you were last time," said I. + +"Not so much so?" + +"No." + +She fired when she asked the last question, and she slapped my face with +such force as she had, when I answered it. + +"Now?" said she. "You little coarse monster, what do you think of me +now?" + +"I shall not tell you." + +"Because you are going to tell upstairs. Is that it?" + +"No," said I, "that's not it." + +"Why don't you cry again, you little wretch?" + +"Because I'll never cry for you again," said I. Which was, I suppose, as +false a declaration as ever was made; for I was inwardly crying for her +then, and I know what I know of the pain she cost me afterwards. + +We went on our way upstairs after this episode; and, as we were going +up, we met a gentleman groping his way down. + +"Whom have we here?" asked the gentleman, stopping and looking at me. + +"A boy," said Estella. + +He was a burly man of an exceedingly dark complexion, with an +exceedingly large head, and a corresponding large hand. He took my chin +in his large hand and turned up my face to have a look at me by the +light of the candle. He was prematurely bald on the top of his head, and +had bushy black eyebrows that wouldn't lie down but stood up bristling. +His eyes were set very deep in his head, and were disagreeably sharp and +suspicious. He had a large watch-chain, and strong black dots where his +beard and whiskers would have been if he had let them. He was nothing +to me, and I could have had no foresight then, that he ever would be +anything to me, but it happened that I had this opportunity of observing +him well. + +"Boy of the neighborhood? Hey?" said he. + +"Yes, sir," said I. + +"How do you come here?" + +"Miss Havisham sent for me, sir," I explained. + +"Well! Behave yourself. I have a pretty large experience of boys, and +you're a bad set of fellows. Now mind!" said he, biting the side of his +great forefinger as he frowned at me, "you behave yourself!" + +With those words, he released me--which I was glad of, for his hand +smelt of scented soap--and went his way downstairs. I wondered whether +he could be a doctor; but no, I thought; he couldn't be a doctor, or he +would have a quieter and more persuasive manner. There was not much time +to consider the subject, for we were soon in Miss Havisham's room, where +she and everything else were just as I had left them. Estella left me +standing near the door, and I stood there until Miss Havisham cast her +eyes upon me from the dressing-table. + +"So!" she said, without being startled or surprised: "the days have worn +away, have they?" + +"Yes, ma'am. To-day is--" + +"There, there, there!" with the impatient movement of her fingers. "I +don't want to know. Are you ready to play?" + +I was obliged to answer in some confusion, "I don't think I am, ma'am." + +"Not at cards again?" she demanded, with a searching look. + +"Yes, ma'am; I could do that, if I was wanted." + +"Since this house strikes you old and grave, boy," said Miss Havisham, +impatiently, "and you are unwilling to play, are you willing to work?" + +I could answer this inquiry with a better heart than I had been able to +find for the other question, and I said I was quite willing. + +"Then go into that opposite room," said she, pointing at the door behind +me with her withered hand, "and wait there till I come." + +I crossed the staircase landing, and entered the room she indicated. +From that room, too, the daylight was completely excluded, and it had an +airless smell that was oppressive. A fire had been lately kindled in +the damp old-fashioned grate, and it was more disposed to go out than +to burn up, and the reluctant smoke which hung in the room seemed colder +than the clearer air,--like our own marsh mist. Certain wintry branches +of candles on the high chimney-piece faintly lighted the chamber; or it +would be more expressive to say, faintly troubled its darkness. It was +spacious, and I dare say had once been handsome, but every discernible +thing in it was covered with dust and mould, and dropping to pieces. The +most prominent object was a long table with a tablecloth spread on it, +as if a feast had been in preparation when the house and the clocks all +stopped together. An epergne or centre-piece of some kind was in the +middle of this cloth; it was so heavily overhung with cobwebs that its +form was quite undistinguishable; and, as I looked along the yellow +expanse out of which I remember its seeming to grow, like a black +fungus, I saw speckle-legged spiders with blotchy bodies running home +to it, and running out from it, as if some circumstances of the greatest +public importance had just transpired in the spider community. + +I heard the mice too, rattling behind the panels, as if the same +occurrence were important to their interests. But the black beetles took +no notice of the agitation, and groped about the hearth in a ponderous +elderly way, as if they were short-sighted and hard of hearing, and not +on terms with one another. + +These crawling things had fascinated my attention, and I was watching +them from a distance, when Miss Havisham laid a hand upon my shoulder. +In her other hand she had a crutch-headed stick on which she leaned, and +she looked like the Witch of the place. + +"This," said she, pointing to the long table with her stick, "is where I +will be laid when I am dead. They shall come and look at me here." + +With some vague misgiving that she might get upon the table then and +there and die at once, the complete realization of the ghastly waxwork +at the Fair, I shrank under her touch. + +"What do you think that is?" she asked me, again pointing with her +stick; "that, where those cobwebs are?" + +"I can't guess what it is, ma'am." + +"It's a great cake. A bride-cake. Mine!" + +She looked all round the room in a glaring manner, and then said, +leaning on me while her hand twitched my shoulder, "Come, come, come! +Walk me, walk me!" + +I made out from this, that the work I had to do, was to walk Miss +Havisham round and round the room. Accordingly, I started at once, and +she leaned upon my shoulder, and we went away at a pace that might have +been an imitation (founded on my first impulse under that roof) of Mr. +Pumblechook's chaise-cart. + +She was not physically strong, and after a little time said, "Slower!" +Still, we went at an impatient fitful speed, and as we went, she +twitched the hand upon my shoulder, and worked her mouth, and led me to +believe that we were going fast because her thoughts went fast. After a +while she said, "Call Estella!" so I went out on the landing and +roared that name as I had done on the previous occasion. When her light +appeared, I returned to Miss Havisham, and we started away again round +and round the room. + +If only Estella had come to be a spectator of our proceedings, I should +have felt sufficiently discontented; but as she brought with her the +three ladies and the gentleman whom I had seen below, I didn't know +what to do. In my politeness, I would have stopped; but Miss +Havisham twitched my shoulder, and we posted on,--with a shame-faced +consciousness on my part that they would think it was all my doing. + +"Dear Miss Havisham," said Miss Sarah Pocket. "How well you look!" + +"I do not," returned Miss Havisham. "I am yellow skin and bone." + +Camilla brightened when Miss Pocket met with this rebuff; and she +murmured, as she plaintively contemplated Miss Havisham, "Poor dear +soul! Certainly not to be expected to look well, poor thing. The idea!" + +"And how are you?" said Miss Havisham to Camilla. As we were close to +Camilla then, I would have stopped as a matter of course, only Miss +Havisham wouldn't stop. We swept on, and I felt that I was highly +obnoxious to Camilla. + +"Thank you, Miss Havisham," she returned, "I am as well as can be +expected." + +"Why, what's the matter with you?" asked Miss Havisham, with exceeding +sharpness. + +"Nothing worth mentioning," replied Camilla. "I don't wish to make a +display of my feelings, but I have habitually thought of you more in the +night than I am quite equal to." + +"Then don't think of me," retorted Miss Havisham. + +"Very easily said!" remarked Camilla, amiably repressing a sob, while a +hitch came into her upper lip, and her tears overflowed. "Raymond is a +witness what ginger and sal volatile I am obliged to take in the night. +Raymond is a witness what nervous jerkings I have in my legs. Chokings +and nervous jerkings, however, are nothing new to me when I think with +anxiety of those I love. If I could be less affectionate and sensitive, +I should have a better digestion and an iron set of nerves. I am sure +I wish it could be so. But as to not thinking of you in the night--The +idea!" Here, a burst of tears. + +The Raymond referred to, I understood to be the gentleman present, and +him I understood to be Mr. Camilla. He came to the rescue at this point, +and said in a consolatory and complimentary voice, "Camilla, my dear, it +is well known that your family feelings are gradually undermining you to +the extent of making one of your legs shorter than the other." + +"I am not aware," observed the grave lady whose voice I had heard but +once, "that to think of any person is to make a great claim upon that +person, my dear." + +Miss Sarah Pocket, whom I now saw to be a little dry, brown, corrugated +old woman, with a small face that might have been made of walnut-shells, +and a large mouth like a cat's without the whiskers, supported this +position by saying, "No, indeed, my dear. Hem!" + +"Thinking is easy enough," said the grave lady. + +"What is easier, you know?" assented Miss Sarah Pocket. + +"Oh, yes, yes!" cried Camilla, whose fermenting feelings appeared to +rise from her legs to her bosom. "It's all very true! It's a weakness +to be so affectionate, but I can't help it. No doubt my health would be +much better if it was otherwise, still I wouldn't change my disposition +if I could. It's the cause of much suffering, but it's a consolation to +know I posses it, when I wake up in the night." Here another burst of +feeling. + +Miss Havisham and I had never stopped all this time, but kept going +round and round the room; now brushing against the skirts of the +visitors, now giving them the whole length of the dismal chamber. + +"There's Matthew!" said Camilla. "Never mixing with any natural ties, +never coming here to see how Miss Havisham is! I have taken to the sofa +with my staylace cut, and have lain there hours insensible, with my head +over the side, and my hair all down, and my feet I don't know where--" + +("Much higher than your head, my love," said Mr. Camilla.) + +"I have gone off into that state, hours and hours, on account of +Matthew's strange and inexplicable conduct, and nobody has thanked me." + +"Really I must say I should think not!" interposed the grave lady. + +"You see, my dear," added Miss Sarah Pocket (a blandly vicious +personage), "the question to put to yourself is, who did you expect to +thank you, my love?" + +"Without expecting any thanks, or anything of the sort," resumed +Camilla, "I have remained in that state, hours and hours, and Raymond +is a witness of the extent to which I have choked, and what the total +inefficacy of ginger has been, and I have been heard at the piano-forte +tuner's across the street, where the poor mistaken children have even +supposed it to be pigeons cooing at a distance,--and now to be told--" +Here Camilla put her hand to her throat, and began to be quite chemical +as to the formation of new combinations there. + +When this same Matthew was mentioned, Miss Havisham stopped me and +herself, and stood looking at the speaker. This change had a great +influence in bringing Camilla's chemistry to a sudden end. + +"Matthew will come and see me at last," said Miss Havisham, sternly, +"when I am laid on that table. That will be his place,--there," striking +the table with her stick, "at my head! And yours will be there! And your +husband's there! And Sarah Pocket's there! And Georgiana's there! Now +you all know where to take your stations when you come to feast upon me. +And now go!" + +At the mention of each name, she had struck the table with her stick in +a new place. She now said, "Walk me, walk me!" and we went on again. + +"I suppose there's nothing to be done," exclaimed Camilla, "but comply +and depart. It's something to have seen the object of one's love and +duty for even so short a time. I shall think of it with a melancholy +satisfaction when I wake up in the night. I wish Matthew could have +that comfort, but he sets it at defiance. I am determined not to make a +display of my feelings, but it's very hard to be told one wants to feast +on one's relations,--as if one was a Giant,--and to be told to go. The +bare idea!" + +Mr. Camilla interposing, as Mrs. Camilla laid her hand upon her heaving +bosom, that lady assumed an unnatural fortitude of manner which I +supposed to be expressive of an intention to drop and choke when out of +view, and kissing her hand to Miss Havisham, was escorted forth. Sarah +Pocket and Georgiana contended who should remain last; but Sarah was +too knowing to be outdone, and ambled round Georgiana with that artful +slipperiness that the latter was obliged to take precedence. Sarah +Pocket then made her separate effect of departing with, "Bless you, Miss +Havisham dear!" and with a smile of forgiving pity on her walnut-shell +countenance for the weaknesses of the rest. + +While Estella was away lighting them down, Miss Havisham still walked +with her hand on my shoulder, but more and more slowly. At last she +stopped before the fire, and said, after muttering and looking at it +some seconds,-- + +"This is my birthday, Pip." + +I was going to wish her many happy returns, when she lifted her stick. + +"I don't suffer it to be spoken of. I don't suffer those who were here +just now, or any one to speak of it. They come here on the day, but they +dare not refer to it." + +Of course I made no further effort to refer to it. + +"On this day of the year, long before you were born, this heap of +decay," stabbing with her crutched stick at the pile of cobwebs on the +table, but not touching it, "was brought here. It and I have worn away +together. The mice have gnawed at it, and sharper teeth than teeth of +mice have gnawed at me." + +She held the head of her stick against her heart as she stood looking +at the table; she in her once white dress, all yellow and withered; the +once white cloth all yellow and withered; everything around in a state +to crumble under a touch. + +"When the ruin is complete," said she, with a ghastly look, "and when +they lay me dead, in my bride's dress on the bride's table,--which shall +be done, and which will be the finished curse upon him,--so much the +better if it is done on this day!" + +She stood looking at the table as if she stood looking at her own figure +lying there. I remained quiet. Estella returned, and she too remained +quiet. It seemed to me that we continued thus for a long time. In +the heavy air of the room, and the heavy darkness that brooded in its +remoter corners, I even had an alarming fancy that Estella and I might +presently begin to decay. + +At length, not coming out of her distraught state by degrees, but in an +instant, Miss Havisham said, "Let me see you two play cards; why have +you not begun?" With that, we returned to her room, and sat down as +before; I was beggared, as before; and again, as before, Miss Havisham +watched us all the time, directed my attention to Estella's beauty, and +made me notice it the more by trying her jewels on Estella's breast and +hair. + +Estella, for her part, likewise treated me as before, except that she +did not condescend to speak. When we had played some half-dozen games, +a day was appointed for my return, and I was taken down into the yard +to be fed in the former dog-like manner. There, too, I was again left to +wander about as I liked. + +It is not much to the purpose whether a gate in that garden wall which +I had scrambled up to peep over on the last occasion was, on that last +occasion, open or shut. Enough that I saw no gate then, and that I +saw one now. As it stood open, and as I knew that Estella had let +the visitors out,--for she had returned with the keys in her hand,--I +strolled into the garden, and strolled all over it. It was quite a +wilderness, and there were old melon-frames and cucumber-frames in it, +which seemed in their decline to have produced a spontaneous growth of +weak attempts at pieces of old hats and boots, with now and then a weedy +offshoot into the likeness of a battered saucepan. + +When I had exhausted the garden and a greenhouse with nothing in it but +a fallen-down grape-vine and some bottles, I found myself in the dismal +corner upon which I had looked out of the window. Never questioning for +a moment that the house was now empty, I looked in at another window, +and found myself, to my great surprise, exchanging a broad stare with a +pale young gentleman with red eyelids and light hair. + +This pale young gentleman quickly disappeared, and reappeared beside me. +He had been at his books when I had found myself staring at him, and I +now saw that he was inky. + +"Halloa!" said he, "young fellow!" + +Halloa being a general observation which I had usually observed to +be best answered by itself, I said, "Halloa!" politely omitting young +fellow. + +"Who let you in?" said he. + +"Miss Estella." + +"Who gave you leave to prowl about?" + +"Miss Estella." + +"Come and fight," said the pale young gentleman. + +What could I do but follow him? I have often asked myself the question +since; but what else could I do? His manner was so final, and I was +so astonished, that I followed where he led, as if I had been under a +spell. + +"Stop a minute, though," he said, wheeling round before we had gone many +paces. "I ought to give you a reason for fighting, too. There it is!" +In a most irritating manner he instantly slapped his hands against one +another, daintily flung one of his legs up behind him, pulled my hair, +slapped his hands again, dipped his head, and butted it into my stomach. + +The bull-like proceeding last mentioned, besides that it was +unquestionably to be regarded in the light of a liberty, was +particularly disagreeable just after bread and meat. I therefore hit out +at him and was going to hit out again, when he said, "Aha! Would you?" +and began dancing backwards and forwards in a manner quite unparalleled +within my limited experience. + +"Laws of the game!" said he. Here, he skipped from his left leg on to +his right. "Regular rules!" Here, he skipped from his right leg on to +his left. "Come to the ground, and go through the preliminaries!" Here, +he dodged backwards and forwards, and did all sorts of things while I +looked helplessly at him. + +I was secretly afraid of him when I saw him so dexterous; but I felt +morally and physically convinced that his light head of hair could have +had no business in the pit of my stomach, and that I had a right to +consider it irrelevant when so obtruded on my attention. Therefore, I +followed him without a word, to a retired nook of the garden, formed by +the junction of two walls and screened by some rubbish. On his asking me +if I was satisfied with the ground, and on my replying Yes, he begged my +leave to absent himself for a moment, and quickly returned with a bottle +of water and a sponge dipped in vinegar. "Available for both," he said, +placing these against the wall. And then fell to pulling off, not +only his jacket and waistcoat, but his shirt too, in a manner at once +light-hearted, business-like, and bloodthirsty. + +Although he did not look very healthy,--having pimples on his face, and +a breaking out at his mouth,--these dreadful preparations quite appalled +me. I judged him to be about my own age, but he was much taller, and he +had a way of spinning himself about that was full of appearance. For +the rest, he was a young gentleman in a gray suit (when not denuded +for battle), with his elbows, knees, wrists, and heels considerably in +advance of the rest of him as to development. + +My heart failed me when I saw him squaring at me with every +demonstration of mechanical nicety, and eyeing my anatomy as if he were +minutely choosing his bone. I never have been so surprised in my life, +as I was when I let out the first blow, and saw him lying on his +back, looking up at me with a bloody nose and his face exceedingly +fore-shortened. + +But, he was on his feet directly, and after sponging himself with +a great show of dexterity began squaring again. The second greatest +surprise I have ever had in my life was seeing him on his back again, +looking up at me out of a black eye. + +His spirit inspired me with great respect. He seemed to have no +strength, and he never once hit me hard, and he was always knocked down; +but he would be up again in a moment, sponging himself or drinking out +of the water-bottle, with the greatest satisfaction in seconding himself +according to form, and then came at me with an air and a show that made +me believe he really was going to do for me at last. He got heavily +bruised, for I am sorry to record that the more I hit him, the harder I +hit him; but he came up again and again and again, until at last he got +a bad fall with the back of his head against the wall. Even after that +crisis in our affairs, he got up and turned round and round confusedly a +few times, not knowing where I was; but finally went on his knees to his +sponge and threw it up: at the same time panting out, "That means you +have won." + +He seemed so brave and innocent, that although I had not proposed the +contest, I felt but a gloomy satisfaction in my victory. Indeed, I go +so far as to hope that I regarded myself while dressing as a species of +savage young wolf or other wild beast. However, I got dressed, darkly +wiping my sanguinary face at intervals, and I said, "Can I help you?" +and he said "No thankee," and I said "Good afternoon," and he said "Same +to you." + +When I got into the courtyard, I found Estella waiting with the keys. +But she neither asked me where I had been, nor why I had kept her +waiting; and there was a bright flush upon her face, as though something +had happened to delight her. Instead of going straight to the gate, too, +she stepped back into the passage, and beckoned me. + +"Come here! You may kiss me, if you like." + +I kissed her cheek as she turned it to me. I think I would have gone +through a great deal to kiss her cheek. But I felt that the kiss was +given to the coarse common boy as a piece of money might have been, and +that it was worth nothing. + +What with the birthday visitors, and what with the cards, and what with +the fight, my stay had lasted so long, that when I neared home the light +on the spit of sand off the point on the marshes was gleaming against +a black night-sky, and Joe's furnace was flinging a path of fire across +the road. + + + + +Chapter XII + +My mind grew very uneasy on the subject of the pale young gentleman. The +more I thought of the fight, and recalled the pale young gentleman on +his back in various stages of puffy and incrimsoned countenance, the +more certain it appeared that something would be done to me. I felt that +the pale young gentleman's blood was on my head, and that the Law would +avenge it. Without having any definite idea of the penalties I had +incurred, it was clear to me that village boys could not go stalking +about the country, ravaging the houses of gentlefolks and pitching into +the studious youth of England, without laying themselves open to severe +punishment. For some days, I even kept close at home, and looked out at +the kitchen door with the greatest caution and trepidation before going +on an errand, lest the officers of the County Jail should pounce upon +me. The pale young gentleman's nose had stained my trousers, and I tried +to wash out that evidence of my guilt in the dead of night. I had cut +my knuckles against the pale young gentleman's teeth, and I twisted my +imagination into a thousand tangles, as I devised incredible ways of +accounting for that damnatory circumstance when I should be haled before +the Judges. + +When the day came round for my return to the scene of the deed of +violence, my terrors reached their height. Whether myrmidons of Justice, +specially sent down from London, would be lying in ambush behind the +gate;--whether Miss Havisham, preferring to take personal vengeance for +an outrage done to her house, might rise in those grave-clothes of hers, +draw a pistol, and shoot me dead:--whether suborned boys--a numerous +band of mercenaries--might be engaged to fall upon me in the brewery, +and cuff me until I was no more;--it was high testimony to my confidence +in the spirit of the pale young gentleman, that I never imagined him +accessory to these retaliations; they always came into my mind as the +acts of injudicious relatives of his, goaded on by the state of his +visage and an indignant sympathy with the family features. + +However, go to Miss Havisham's I must, and go I did. And behold! nothing +came of the late struggle. It was not alluded to in any way, and no pale +young gentleman was to be discovered on the premises. I found the same +gate open, and I explored the garden, and even looked in at the windows +of the detached house; but my view was suddenly stopped by the closed +shutters within, and all was lifeless. Only in the corner where +the combat had taken place could I detect any evidence of the young +gentleman's existence. There were traces of his gore in that spot, and I +covered them with garden-mould from the eye of man. + +On the broad landing between Miss Havisham's own room and that other +room in which the long table was laid out, I saw a garden-chair,--a +light chair on wheels, that you pushed from behind. It had been placed +there since my last visit, and I entered, that same day, on a regular +occupation of pushing Miss Havisham in this chair (when she was tired of +walking with her hand upon my shoulder) round her own room, and across +the landing, and round the other room. Over and over and over again, +we would make these journeys, and sometimes they would last as long as +three hours at a stretch. I insensibly fall into a general mention of +these journeys as numerous, because it was at once settled that I should +return every alternate day at noon for these purposes, and because I am +now going to sum up a period of at least eight or ten months. + +As we began to be more used to one another, Miss Havisham talked more +to me, and asked me such questions as what had I learnt and what was +I going to be? I told her I was going to be apprenticed to Joe, I +believed; and I enlarged upon my knowing nothing and wanting to know +everything, in the hope that she might offer some help towards that +desirable end. But she did not; on the contrary, she seemed to prefer my +being ignorant. Neither did she ever give me any money,--or anything +but my daily dinner,--nor ever stipulate that I should be paid for my +services. + +Estella was always about, and always let me in and out, but never told +me I might kiss her again. Sometimes, she would coldly tolerate me; +sometimes, she would condescend to me; sometimes, she would be quite +familiar with me; sometimes, she would tell me energetically that she +hated me. Miss Havisham would often ask me in a whisper, or when we were +alone, "Does she grow prettier and prettier, Pip?" And when I said yes +(for indeed she did), would seem to enjoy it greedily. Also, when we +played at cards Miss Havisham would look on, with a miserly relish of +Estella's moods, whatever they were. And sometimes, when her moods were +so many and so contradictory of one another that I was puzzled what +to say or do, Miss Havisham would embrace her with lavish fondness, +murmuring something in her ear that sounded like "Break their hearts my +pride and hope, break their hearts and have no mercy!" + +There was a song Joe used to hum fragments of at the forge, of which the +burden was Old Clem. This was not a very ceremonious way of rendering +homage to a patron saint, but I believe Old Clem stood in that relation +towards smiths. It was a song that imitated the measure of beating upon +iron, and was a mere lyrical excuse for the introduction of Old Clem's +respected name. Thus, you were to hammer boys round--Old Clem! With a +thump and a sound--Old Clem! Beat it out, beat it out--Old Clem! With a +clink for the stout--Old Clem! Blow the fire, blow the fire--Old +Clem! Roaring dryer, soaring higher--Old Clem! One day soon after the +appearance of the chair, Miss Havisham suddenly saying to me, with the +impatient movement of her fingers, "There, there, there! Sing!" I was +surprised into crooning this ditty as I pushed her over the floor. It +happened so to catch her fancy that she took it up in a low brooding +voice as if she were singing in her sleep. After that, it became +customary with us to have it as we moved about, and Estella would often +join in; though the whole strain was so subdued, even when there were +three of us, that it made less noise in the grim old house than the +lightest breath of wind. + +What could I become with these surroundings? How could my character fail +to be influenced by them? Is it to be wondered at if my thoughts were +dazed, as my eyes were, when I came out into the natural light from the +misty yellow rooms? + +Perhaps I might have told Joe about the pale young gentleman, if I had +not previously been betrayed into those enormous inventions to which +I had confessed. Under the circumstances, I felt that Joe could hardly +fail to discern in the pale young gentleman, an appropriate passenger +to be put into the black velvet coach; therefore, I said nothing of him. +Besides, that shrinking from having Miss Havisham and Estella discussed, +which had come upon me in the beginning, grew much more potent as time +went on. I reposed complete confidence in no one but Biddy; but I told +poor Biddy everything. Why it came natural to me to do so, and why Biddy +had a deep concern in everything I told her, I did not know then, though +I think I know now. + +Meanwhile, councils went on in the kitchen at home, fraught with +almost insupportable aggravation to my exasperated spirit. That ass, +Pumblechook, used often to come over of a night for the purpose of +discussing my prospects with my sister; and I really do believe (to +this hour with less penitence than I ought to feel), that if these hands +could have taken a linchpin out of his chaise-cart, they would have done +it. The miserable man was a man of that confined stolidity of mind, that +he could not discuss my prospects without having me before him,--as it +were, to operate upon,--and he would drag me up from my stool (usually +by the collar) where I was quiet in a corner, and, putting me before the +fire as if I were going to be cooked, would begin by saying, "Now, Mum, +here is this boy! Here is this boy which you brought up by hand. Hold up +your head, boy, and be forever grateful unto them which so did do. Now, +Mum, with respections to this boy!" And then he would rumple my hair +the wrong way,--which from my earliest remembrance, as already hinted, +I have in my soul denied the right of any fellow-creature to do,--and +would hold me before him by the sleeve,--a spectacle of imbecility only +to be equalled by himself. + +Then, he and my sister would pair off in such nonsensical speculations +about Miss Havisham, and about what she would do with me and for me, +that I used to want--quite painfully--to burst into spiteful tears, fly +at Pumblechook, and pummel him all over. In these dialogues, my sister +spoke to me as if she were morally wrenching one of my teeth out at +every reference; while Pumblechook himself, self-constituted my patron, +would sit supervising me with a depreciatory eye, like the architect of +my fortunes who thought himself engaged on a very unremunerative job. + +In these discussions, Joe bore no part. But he was often talked at, +while they were in progress, by reason of Mrs. Joe's perceiving that +he was not favorable to my being taken from the forge. I was fully old +enough now to be apprenticed to Joe; and when Joe sat with the poker on +his knees thoughtfully raking out the ashes between the lower bars, my +sister would so distinctly construe that innocent action into opposition +on his part, that she would dive at him, take the poker out of his +hands, shake him, and put it away. There was a most irritating end to +every one of these debates. All in a moment, with nothing to lead up to +it, my sister would stop herself in a yawn, and catching sight of me as +it were incidentally, would swoop upon me with, "Come! there's enough of +you! You get along to bed; you've given trouble enough for one night, I +hope!" As if I had besought them as a favor to bother my life out. + +We went on in this way for a long time, and it seemed likely that we +should continue to go on in this way for a long time, when one day Miss +Havisham stopped short as she and I were walking, she leaning on my +shoulder; and said with some displeasure,-- + +"You are growing tall, Pip!" + +I thought it best to hint, through the medium of a meditative look, that +this might be occasioned by circumstances over which I had no control. + +She said no more at the time; but she presently stopped and looked at me +again; and presently again; and after that, looked frowning and moody. +On the next day of my attendance, when our usual exercise was over, and +I had landed her at her dressing-table, she stayed me with a movement of +her impatient fingers:-- + +"Tell me the name again of that blacksmith of yours." + +"Joe Gargery, ma'am." + +"Meaning the master you were to be apprenticed to?" + +"Yes, Miss Havisham." + +"You had better be apprenticed at once. Would Gargery come here with +you, and bring your indentures, do you think?" + +I signified that I had no doubt he would take it as an honor to be +asked. + +"Then let him come." + +"At any particular time, Miss Havisham?" + +"There, there! I know nothing about times. Let him come soon, and come +along with you." + +When I got home at night, and delivered this message for Joe, my sister +"went on the Rampage," in a more alarming degree than at any previous +period. She asked me and Joe whether we supposed she was door-mats under +our feet, and how we dared to use her so, and what company we graciously +thought she was fit for? When she had exhausted a torrent of such +inquiries, she threw a candlestick at Joe, burst into a loud sobbing, +got out the dustpan,--which was always a very bad sign,--put on her +coarse apron, and began cleaning up to a terrible extent. Not satisfied +with a dry cleaning, she took to a pail and scrubbing-brush, and cleaned +us out of house and home, so that we stood shivering in the back-yard. +It was ten o'clock at night before we ventured to creep in again, and +then she asked Joe why he hadn't married a Negress Slave at once? +Joe offered no answer, poor fellow, but stood feeling his whisker and +looking dejectedly at me, as if he thought it really might have been a +better speculation. + + + + +Chapter XIII + +It was a trial to my feelings, on the next day but one, to see +Joe arraying himself in his Sunday clothes to accompany me to Miss +Havisham's. However, as he thought his court-suit necessary to the +occasion, it was not for me to tell him that he looked far better in his +working-dress; the rather, because I knew he made himself so dreadfully +uncomfortable, entirely on my account, and that it was for me he pulled +up his shirt-collar so very high behind, that it made the hair on the +crown of his head stand up like a tuft of feathers. + +At breakfast-time my sister declared her intention of going to town with +us, and being left at Uncle Pumblechook's and called for "when we had +done with our fine ladies"--a way of putting the case, from which Joe +appeared inclined to augur the worst. The forge was shut up for the day, +and Joe inscribed in chalk upon the door (as it was his custom to do on +the very rare occasions when he was not at work) the monosyllable +HOUT, accompanied by a sketch of an arrow supposed to be flying in the +direction he had taken. + +We walked to town, my sister leading the way in a very large beaver +bonnet, and carrying a basket like the Great Seal of England in plaited +Straw, a pair of pattens, a spare shawl, and an umbrella, though it +was a fine bright day. I am not quite clear whether these articles were +carried penitentially or ostentatiously; but I rather think they were +displayed as articles of property,--much as Cleopatra or any other +sovereign lady on the Rampage might exhibit her wealth in a pageant or +procession. + +When we came to Pumblechook's, my sister bounced in and left us. As it +was almost noon, Joe and I held straight on to Miss Havisham's house. +Estella opened the gate as usual, and, the moment she appeared, Joe took +his hat off and stood weighing it by the brim in both his hands; as if +he had some urgent reason in his mind for being particular to half a +quarter of an ounce. + +Estella took no notice of either of us, but led us the way that I knew +so well. I followed next to her, and Joe came last. When I looked back +at Joe in the long passage, he was still weighing his hat with the +greatest care, and was coming after us in long strides on the tips of +his toes. + +Estella told me we were both to go in, so I took Joe by the coat-cuff +and conducted him into Miss Havisham's presence. She was seated at her +dressing-table, and looked round at us immediately. + +"Oh!" said she to Joe. "You are the husband of the sister of this boy?" + +I could hardly have imagined dear old Joe looking so unlike himself or +so like some extraordinary bird; standing as he did speechless, with his +tuft of feathers ruffled, and his mouth open as if he wanted a worm. + +"You are the husband," repeated Miss Havisham, "of the sister of this +boy?" + +It was very aggravating; but, throughout the interview, Joe persisted in +addressing Me instead of Miss Havisham. + +"Which I meantersay, Pip," Joe now observed in a manner that was at +once expressive of forcible argumentation, strict confidence, and great +politeness, "as I hup and married your sister, and I were at the time +what you might call (if you was anyways inclined) a single man." + +"Well!" said Miss Havisham. "And you have reared the boy, with the +intention of taking him for your apprentice; is that so, Mr. Gargery?" + +"You know, Pip," replied Joe, "as you and me were ever friends, and it +were looked for'ard to betwixt us, as being calc'lated to lead to +larks. Not but what, Pip, if you had ever made objections to the +business,--such as its being open to black and sut, or such-like,--not +but what they would have been attended to, don't you see?" + +"Has the boy," said Miss Havisham, "ever made any objection? Does he +like the trade?" + +"Which it is well beknown to yourself, Pip," returned Joe, strengthening +his former mixture of argumentation, confidence, and politeness, "that +it were the wish of your own hart." (I saw the idea suddenly break upon +him that he would adapt his epitaph to the occasion, before he went on +to say) "And there weren't no objection on your part, and Pip it were +the great wish of your hart!" + +It was quite in vain for me to endeavor to make him sensible that he +ought to speak to Miss Havisham. The more I made faces and gestures +to him to do it, the more confidential, argumentative, and polite, he +persisted in being to Me. + +"Have you brought his indentures with you?" asked Miss Havisham. + +"Well, Pip, you know," replied Joe, as if that were a little +unreasonable, "you yourself see me put 'em in my 'at, and therefore you +know as they are here." With which he took them out, and gave them, not +to Miss Havisham, but to me. I am afraid I was ashamed of the dear good +fellow,--I know I was ashamed of him,--when I saw that Estella stood +at the back of Miss Havisham's chair, and that her eyes laughed +mischievously. I took the indentures out of his hand and gave them to +Miss Havisham. + +"You expected," said Miss Havisham, as she looked them over, "no premium +with the boy?" + +"Joe!" I remonstrated, for he made no reply at all. "Why don't you +answer--" + +"Pip," returned Joe, cutting me short as if he were hurt, "which I +meantersay that were not a question requiring a answer betwixt yourself +and me, and which you know the answer to be full well No. You know it to +be No, Pip, and wherefore should I say it?" + +Miss Havisham glanced at him as if she understood what he really was +better than I had thought possible, seeing what he was there; and took +up a little bag from the table beside her. + +"Pip has earned a premium here," she said, "and here it is. There are +five-and-twenty guineas in this bag. Give it to your master, Pip." + +As if he were absolutely out of his mind with the wonder awakened in +him by her strange figure and the strange room, Joe, even at this pass, +persisted in addressing me. + +"This is wery liberal on your part, Pip," said Joe, "and it is as such +received and grateful welcome, though never looked for, far nor near, +nor nowheres. And now, old chap," said Joe, conveying to me a sensation, +first of burning and then of freezing, for I felt as if that familiar +expression were applied to Miss Havisham,--"and now, old chap, may we +do our duty! May you and me do our duty, both on us, by one and another, +and by them which your liberal present--have-conweyed--to be--for the +satisfaction of mind-of--them as never--" here Joe showed that he felt +he had fallen into frightful difficulties, until he triumphantly rescued +himself with the words, "and from myself far be it!" These words had +such a round and convincing sound for him that he said them twice. + +"Good-bye, Pip!" said Miss Havisham. "Let them out, Estella." + +"Am I to come again, Miss Havisham?" I asked. + +"No. Gargery is your master now. Gargery! One word!" + +Thus calling him back as I went out of the door, I heard her say to Joe +in a distinct emphatic voice, "The boy has been a good boy here, and +that is his reward. Of course, as an honest man, you will expect no +other and no more." + +How Joe got out of the room, I have never been able to determine; but +I know that when he did get out he was steadily proceeding upstairs +instead of coming down, and was deaf to all remonstrances until I went +after him and laid hold of him. In another minute we were outside the +gate, and it was locked, and Estella was gone. When we stood in the +daylight alone again, Joe backed up against a wall, and said to me, +"Astonishing!" And there he remained so long saying, "Astonishing" at +intervals, so often, that I began to think his senses were never coming +back. At length he prolonged his remark into "Pip, I do assure you this +is as-TON-ishing!" and so, by degrees, became conversational and able to +walk away. + +I have reason to think that Joe's intellects were brightened by the +encounter they had passed through, and that on our way to Pumblechook's +he invented a subtle and deep design. My reason is to be found in +what took place in Mr. Pumblechook's parlor: where, on our presenting +ourselves, my sister sat in conference with that detested seedsman. + +"Well?" cried my sister, addressing us both at once. "And what's +happened to you? I wonder you condescend to come back to such poor +society as this, I am sure I do!" + +"Miss Havisham," said Joe, with a fixed look at me, like an effort of +remembrance, "made it wery partick'ler that we should give her--were it +compliments or respects, Pip?" + +"Compliments," I said. + +"Which that were my own belief," answered Joe; "her compliments to Mrs. +J. Gargery--" + +"Much good they'll do me!" observed my sister; but rather gratified too. + +"And wishing," pursued Joe, with another fixed look at me, like another +effort of remembrance, "that the state of Miss Havisham's elth were +sitch as would have--allowed, were it, Pip?" + +"Of her having the pleasure," I added. + +"Of ladies' company," said Joe. And drew a long breath. + +"Well!" cried my sister, with a mollified glance at Mr. Pumblechook. +"She might have had the politeness to send that message at first, but +it's better late than never. And what did she give young Rantipole +here?" + +"She giv' him," said Joe, "nothing." + +Mrs. Joe was going to break out, but Joe went on. + +"What she giv'," said Joe, "she giv' to his friends. 'And by his +friends,' were her explanation, 'I mean into the hands of his sister +Mrs. J. Gargery.' Them were her words; 'Mrs. J. Gargery.' She mayn't +have know'd," added Joe, with an appearance of reflection, "whether it +were Joe, or Jorge." + +My sister looked at Pumblechook: who smoothed the elbows of his wooden +arm-chair, and nodded at her and at the fire, as if he had known all +about it beforehand. + +"And how much have you got?" asked my sister, laughing. Positively +laughing! + +"What would present company say to ten pound?" demanded Joe. + +"They'd say," returned my sister, curtly, "pretty well. Not too much, +but pretty well." + +"It's more than that, then," said Joe. + +That fearful Impostor, Pumblechook, immediately nodded, and said, as he +rubbed the arms of his chair, "It's more than that, Mum." + +"Why, you don't mean to say--" began my sister. + +"Yes I do, Mum," said Pumblechook; "but wait a bit. Go on, Joseph. Good +in you! Go on!" + +"What would present company say," proceeded Joe, "to twenty pound?" + +"Handsome would be the word," returned my sister. + +"Well, then," said Joe, "It's more than twenty pound." + +That abject hypocrite, Pumblechook, nodded again, and said, with a +patronizing laugh, "It's more than that, Mum. Good again! Follow her up, +Joseph!" + +"Then to make an end of it," said Joe, delightedly handing the bag to my +sister; "it's five-and-twenty pound." + +"It's five-and-twenty pound, Mum," echoed that basest of swindlers, +Pumblechook, rising to shake hands with her; "and it's no more than your +merits (as I said when my opinion was asked), and I wish you joy of the +money!" + +If the villain had stopped here, his case would have been sufficiently +awful, but he blackened his guilt by proceeding to take me into custody, +with a right of patronage that left all his former criminality far +behind. + +"Now you see, Joseph and wife," said Pumblechook, as he took me by the +arm above the elbow, "I am one of them that always go right through with +what they've begun. This boy must be bound, out of hand. That's my way. +Bound out of hand." + +"Goodness knows, Uncle Pumblechook," said my sister (grasping the +money), "we're deeply beholden to you." + +"Never mind me, Mum," returned that diabolical cornchandler. "A +pleasure's a pleasure all the world over. But this boy, you know; we +must have him bound. I said I'd see to it--to tell you the truth." + +The Justices were sitting in the Town Hall near at hand, and we at +once went over to have me bound apprentice to Joe in the Magisterial +presence. I say we went over, but I was pushed over by Pumblechook, +exactly as if I had that moment picked a pocket or fired a rick; indeed, +it was the general impression in Court that I had been taken red-handed; +for, as Pumblechook shoved me before him through the crowd, I heard some +people say, "What's he done?" and others, "He's a young 'un, too, but +looks bad, don't he?" One person of mild and benevolent aspect even gave +me a tract ornamented with a woodcut of a malevolent young man fitted +up with a perfect sausage-shop of fetters, and entitled TO BE READ IN MY +CELL. + +The Hall was a queer place, I thought, with higher pews in it than a +church,--and with people hanging over the pews looking on,--and with +mighty Justices (one with a powdered head) leaning back in chairs, with +folded arms, or taking snuff, or going to sleep, or writing, or reading +the newspapers,--and with some shining black portraits on the walls, +which my unartistic eye regarded as a composition of hardbake and +sticking-plaster. Here, in a corner my indentures were duly signed and +attested, and I was "bound"; Mr. Pumblechook holding me all the while +as if we had looked in on our way to the scaffold, to have those little +preliminaries disposed of. + +When we had come out again, and had got rid of the boys who had been put +into great spirits by the expectation of seeing me publicly tortured, +and who were much disappointed to find that my friends were merely +rallying round me, we went back to Pumblechook's. And there my sister +became so excited by the twenty-five guineas, that nothing would serve +her but we must have a dinner out of that windfall at the Blue Boar, and +that Pumblechook must go over in his chaise-cart, and bring the Hubbles +and Mr. Wopsle. + +It was agreed to be done; and a most melancholy day I passed. For, +it inscrutably appeared to stand to reason, in the minds of the whole +company, that I was an excrescence on the entertainment. And to make it +worse, they all asked me from time to time,--in short, whenever they +had nothing else to do,--why I didn't enjoy myself? And what could I +possibly do then, but say I was enjoying myself,--when I wasn't! + +However, they were grown up and had their own way, and they made the +most of it. That swindling Pumblechook, exalted into the beneficent +contriver of the whole occasion, actually took the top of the table; +and, when he addressed them on the subject of my being bound, and had +fiendishly congratulated them on my being liable to imprisonment if I +played at cards, drank strong liquors, kept late hours or bad company, +or indulged in other vagaries which the form of my indentures appeared +to contemplate as next to inevitable, he placed me standing on a chair +beside him to illustrate his remarks. + +My only other remembrances of the great festival are, That they wouldn't +let me go to sleep, but whenever they saw me dropping off, woke me up +and told me to enjoy myself. That, rather late in the evening Mr. Wopsle +gave us Collins's ode, and threw his bloodstained sword in thunder +down, with such effect, that a waiter came in and said, "The Commercials +underneath sent up their compliments, and it wasn't the Tumblers' Arms." +That, they were all in excellent spirits on the road home, and sang, O +Lady Fair! Mr. Wopsle taking the bass, and asserting with a tremendously +strong voice (in reply to the inquisitive bore who leads that piece +of music in a most impertinent manner, by wanting to know all about +everybody's private affairs) that he was the man with his white locks +flowing, and that he was upon the whole the weakest pilgrim going. + +Finally, I remember that when I got into my little bedroom, I was truly +wretched, and had a strong conviction on me that I should never like +Joe's trade. I had liked it once, but once was not now. + + + + +Chapter XIV + +It is a most miserable thing to feel ashamed of home. There may be black +ingratitude in the thing, and the punishment may be retributive and well +deserved; but that it is a miserable thing, I can testify. + +Home had never been a very pleasant place to me, because of my sister's +temper. But, Joe had sanctified it, and I had believed in it. I had +believed in the best parlor as a most elegant saloon; I had believed +in the front door, as a mysterious portal of the Temple of State whose +solemn opening was attended with a sacrifice of roast fowls; I had +believed in the kitchen as a chaste though not magnificent apartment; +I had believed in the forge as the glowing road to manhood and +independence. Within a single year all this was changed. Now it was all +coarse and common, and I would not have had Miss Havisham and Estella +see it on any account. + +How much of my ungracious condition of mind may have been my own fault, +how much Miss Havisham's, how much my sister's, is now of no moment to +me or to any one. The change was made in me; the thing was done. Well or +ill done, excusably or inexcusably, it was done. + +Once, it had seemed to me that when I should at last roll up my +shirt-sleeves and go into the forge, Joe's 'prentice, I should be +distinguished and happy. Now the reality was in my hold, I only felt +that I was dusty with the dust of small-coal, and that I had a weight +upon my daily remembrance to which the anvil was a feather. There have +been occasions in my later life (I suppose as in most lives) when I have +felt for a time as if a thick curtain had fallen on all its interest +and romance, to shut me out from anything save dull endurance any more. +Never has that curtain dropped so heavy and blank, as when my way in +life lay stretched out straight before me through the newly entered road +of apprenticeship to Joe. + +I remember that at a later period of my "time," I used to stand about +the churchyard on Sunday evenings when night was falling, comparing my +own perspective with the windy marsh view, and making out some likeness +between them by thinking how flat and low both were, and how on both +there came an unknown way and a dark mist and then the sea. I was quite +as dejected on the first working-day of my apprenticeship as in that +after-time; but I am glad to know that I never breathed a murmur to Joe +while my indentures lasted. It is about the only thing I am glad to know +of myself in that connection. + +For, though it includes what I proceed to add, all the merit of what I +proceed to add was Joe's. It was not because I was faithful, but because +Joe was faithful, that I never ran away and went for a soldier or +a sailor. It was not because I had a strong sense of the virtue of +industry, but because Joe had a strong sense of the virtue of industry, +that I worked with tolerable zeal against the grain. It is not possible +to know how far the influence of any amiable honest-hearted duty-doing +man flies out into the world; but it is very possible to know how it has +touched one's self in going by, and I know right well that any good that +intermixed itself with my apprenticeship came of plain contented Joe, +and not of restlessly aspiring discontented me. + +What I wanted, who can say? How can I say, when I never knew? What +I dreaded was, that in some unlucky hour I, being at my grimiest and +commonest, should lift up my eyes and see Estella looking in at one +of the wooden windows of the forge. I was haunted by the fear that she +would, sooner or later, find me out, with a black face and hands, doing +the coarsest part of my work, and would exult over me and despise me. +Often after dark, when I was pulling the bellows for Joe, and we were +singing Old Clem, and when the thought how we used to sing it at Miss +Havisham's would seem to show me Estella's face in the fire, with her +pretty hair fluttering in the wind and her eyes scorning me,--often at +such a time I would look towards those panels of black night in the wall +which the wooden windows then were, and would fancy that I saw her just +drawing her face away, and would believe that she had come at last. + +After that, when we went in to supper, the place and the meal would have +a more homely look than ever, and I would feel more ashamed of home than +ever, in my own ungracious breast. + + + + +Chapter XV + +As I was getting too big for Mr. Wopsle's great-aunt's room, my +education under that preposterous female terminated. Not, however, until +Biddy had imparted to me everything she knew, from the little catalogue +of prices, to a comic song she had once bought for a half-penny. +Although the only coherent part of the latter piece of literature were +the opening lines. + + When I went to Lunnon town sirs, + Too rul loo rul + Too rul loo rul + Wasn't I done very brown sirs? + Too rul loo rul + Too rul loo rul + +--still, in my desire to be wiser, I got this composition by heart with the utmost gravity; nor do I recollect that I questioned its merit, except that I +thought (as I still do) the amount of Too rul somewhat in excess of the +poetry. In my hunger for information, I made proposals to Mr. Wopsle to +bestow some intellectual crumbs upon me, with which he kindly complied. +As it turned out, however, that he only wanted me for a dramatic +lay-figure, to be contradicted and embraced and wept over and bullied +and clutched and stabbed and knocked about in a variety of ways, I soon +declined that course of instruction; though not until Mr. Wopsle in his +poetic fury had severely mauled me. + +Whatever I acquired, I tried to impart to Joe. This statement sounds so +well, that I cannot in my conscience let it pass unexplained. I wanted +to make Joe less ignorant and common, that he might be worthier of my +society and less open to Estella's reproach. + +The old Battery out on the marshes was our place of study, and a broken +slate and a short piece of slate-pencil were our educational implements: +to which Joe always added a pipe of tobacco. I never knew Joe to +remember anything from one Sunday to another, or to acquire, under my +tuition, any piece of information whatever. Yet he would smoke his pipe +at the Battery with a far more sagacious air than anywhere else,--even +with a learned air,--as if he considered himself to be advancing +immensely. Dear fellow, I hope he did. + +It was pleasant and quiet, out there with the sails on the river passing +beyond the earthwork, and sometimes, when the tide was low, looking +as if they belonged to sunken ships that were still sailing on at the +bottom of the water. Whenever I watched the vessels standing out to sea +with their white sails spread, I somehow thought of Miss Havisham and +Estella; and whenever the light struck aslant, afar off, upon a cloud +or sail or green hillside or water-line, it was just the same.--Miss +Havisham and Estella and the strange house and the strange life appeared +to have something to do with everything that was picturesque. + +One Sunday when Joe, greatly enjoying his pipe, had so plumed himself on +being "most awful dull," that I had given him up for the day, I lay on +the earthwork for some time with my chin on my hand, descrying traces of +Miss Havisham and Estella all over the prospect, in the sky and in the +water, until at last I resolved to mention a thought concerning them +that had been much in my head. + +"Joe," said I; "don't you think I ought to make Miss Havisham a visit?" + +"Well, Pip," returned Joe, slowly considering. "What for?" + +"What for, Joe? What is any visit made for?" + +"There is some wisits p'r'aps," said Joe, "as for ever remains open to +the question, Pip. But in regard to wisiting Miss Havisham. She might +think you wanted something,--expected something of her." + +"Don't you think I might say that I did not, Joe?" + +"You might, old chap," said Joe. "And she might credit it. Similarly she +mightn't." + +Joe felt, as I did, that he had made a point there, and he pulled hard +at his pipe to keep himself from weakening it by repetition. + +"You see, Pip," Joe pursued, as soon as he was past that danger, "Miss +Havisham done the handsome thing by you. When Miss Havisham done the +handsome thing by you, she called me back to say to me as that were +all." + +"Yes, Joe. I heard her." + +"ALL," Joe repeated, very emphatically. + +"Yes, Joe. I tell you, I heard her." + +"Which I meantersay, Pip, it might be that her meaning were,--Make a +end on it!--As you was!--Me to the North, and you to the South!--Keep in +sunders!" + +I had thought of that too, and it was very far from comforting to me +to find that he had thought of it; for it seemed to render it more +probable. + +"But, Joe." + +"Yes, old chap." + +"Here am I, getting on in the first year of my time, and, since the day +of my being bound, I have never thanked Miss Havisham, or asked after +her, or shown that I remember her." + +"That's true, Pip; and unless you was to turn her out a set of shoes +all four round,--and which I meantersay as even a set of shoes all +four round might not be acceptable as a present, in a total wacancy of +hoofs--" + +"I don't mean that sort of remembrance, Joe; I don't mean a present." + +But Joe had got the idea of a present in his head and must harp upon it. +"Or even," said he, "if you was helped to knocking her up a new chain +for the front door,--or say a gross or two of shark-headed screws for +general use,--or some light fancy article, such as a toasting-fork +when she took her muffins,--or a gridiron when she took a sprat or such +like--" + +"I don't mean any present at all, Joe," I interposed. + +"Well," said Joe, still harping on it as though I had particularly +pressed it, "if I was yourself, Pip, I wouldn't. No, I would not. For +what's a door-chain when she's got one always up? And shark-headers is +open to misrepresentations. And if it was a toasting-fork, you'd go into +brass and do yourself no credit. And the oncommonest workman can't show +himself oncommon in a gridiron,--for a gridiron IS a gridiron," said +Joe, steadfastly impressing it upon me, as if he were endeavouring to +rouse me from a fixed delusion, "and you may haim at what you like, but +a gridiron it will come out, either by your leave or again your leave, +and you can't help yourself--" + +"My dear Joe," I cried, in desperation, taking hold of his coat, "don't +go on in that way. I never thought of making Miss Havisham any present." + +"No, Pip," Joe assented, as if he had been contending for that, all +along; "and what I say to you is, you are right, Pip." + +"Yes, Joe; but what I wanted to say, was, that as we are rather slack +just now, if you would give me a half-holiday to-morrow, I think I would +go uptown and make a call on Miss Est--Havisham." + +"Which her name," said Joe, gravely, "ain't Estavisham, Pip, unless she +have been rechris'ened." + +"I know, Joe, I know. It was a slip of mine. What do you think of it, +Joe?" + +In brief, Joe thought that if I thought well of it, he thought well of +it. But, he was particular in stipulating that if I were not received +with cordiality, or if I were not encouraged to repeat my visit as a +visit which had no ulterior object but was simply one of gratitude for a +favor received, then this experimental trip should have no successor. By +these conditions I promised to abide. + +Now, Joe kept a journeyman at weekly wages whose name was Orlick. +He pretended that his Christian name was Dolge,--a clear +Impossibility,--but he was a fellow of that obstinate disposition that I +believe him to have been the prey of no delusion in this particular, but +wilfully to have imposed that name upon the village as an affront to its +understanding. He was a broadshouldered loose-limbed swarthy fellow of +great strength, never in a hurry, and always slouching. He never even +seemed to come to his work on purpose, but would slouch in as if by mere +accident; and when he went to the Jolly Bargemen to eat his dinner, or +went away at night, he would slouch out, like Cain or the Wandering Jew, +as if he had no idea where he was going and no intention of ever +coming back. He lodged at a sluice-keeper's out on the marshes, and on +working-days would come slouching from his hermitage, with his hands in +his pockets and his dinner loosely tied in a bundle round his neck +and dangling on his back. On Sundays he mostly lay all day on the +sluice-gates, or stood against ricks and barns. He always slouched, +locomotively, with his eyes on the ground; and, when accosted or +otherwise required to raise them, he looked up in a half-resentful, +half-puzzled way, as though the only thought he ever had was, that it +was rather an odd and injurious fact that he should never be thinking. + +This morose journeyman had no liking for me. When I was very small and +timid, he gave me to understand that the Devil lived in a black corner +of the forge, and that he knew the fiend very well: also that it was +necessary to make up the fire, once in seven years, with a live boy, and +that I might consider myself fuel. When I became Joe's 'prentice, Orlick +was perhaps confirmed in some suspicion that I should displace him; +howbeit, he liked me still less. Not that he ever said anything, or did +anything, openly importing hostility; I only noticed that he always beat +his sparks in my direction, and that whenever I sang Old Clem, he came +in out of time. + +Dolge Orlick was at work and present, next day, when I reminded Joe of +my half-holiday. He said nothing at the moment, for he and Joe had just +got a piece of hot iron between them, and I was at the bellows; but by +and by he said, leaning on his hammer,-- + +"Now, master! Sure you're not a going to favor only one of us. If Young +Pip has a half-holiday, do as much for Old Orlick." I suppose he was +about five-and-twenty, but he usually spoke of himself as an ancient +person. + +"Why, what'll you do with a half-holiday, if you get it?" said Joe. + +"What'll I do with it! What'll he do with it? I'll do as much with it as +him," said Orlick. + +"As to Pip, he's going up town," said Joe. + +"Well then, as to Old Orlick, he's a going up town," retorted that +worthy. "Two can go up town. Tain't only one wot can go up town. + +"Don't lose your temper," said Joe. + +"Shall if I like," growled Orlick. "Some and their uptowning! Now, +master! Come. No favoring in this shop. Be a man!" + +The master refusing to entertain the subject until the journeyman was in +a better temper, Orlick plunged at the furnace, drew out a red-hot +bar, made at me with it as if he were going to run it through my body, +whisked it round my head, laid it on the anvil, hammered it out,--as +if it were I, I thought, and the sparks were my spirting blood,--and +finally said, when he had hammered himself hot and the iron cold, and he +again leaned on his hammer,-- + +"Now, master!" + +"Are you all right now?" demanded Joe. + +"Ah! I am all right," said gruff Old Orlick. + +"Then, as in general you stick to your work as well as most men," said +Joe, "let it be a half-holiday for all." + +My sister had been standing silent in the yard, within hearing,--she was +a most unscrupulous spy and listener,--and she instantly looked in at +one of the windows. + +"Like you, you fool!" said she to Joe, "giving holidays to great idle +hulkers like that. You are a rich man, upon my life, to waste wages in +that way. I wish I was his master!" + +"You'd be everybody's master, if you durst," retorted Orlick, with an +ill-favored grin. + +("Let her alone," said Joe.) + +"I'd be a match for all noodles and all rogues," returned my sister, +beginning to work herself into a mighty rage. "And I couldn't be a +match for the noodles, without being a match for your master, who's the +dunder-headed king of the noodles. And I couldn't be a match for the +rogues, without being a match for you, who are the blackest-looking and +the worst rogue between this and France. Now!" + +"You're a foul shrew, Mother Gargery," growled the journeyman. "If that +makes a judge of rogues, you ought to be a good'un." + +("Let her alone, will you?" said Joe.) + +"What did you say?" cried my sister, beginning to scream. "What did you +say? What did that fellow Orlick say to me, Pip? What did he call me, +with my husband standing by? Oh! oh! oh!" Each of these exclamations was +a shriek; and I must remark of my sister, what is equally true of all +the violent women I have ever seen, that passion was no excuse for +her, because it is undeniable that instead of lapsing into passion, she +consciously and deliberately took extraordinary pains to force herself +into it, and became blindly furious by regular stages; "what was the +name he gave me before the base man who swore to defend me? Oh! Hold me! +Oh!" + +"Ah-h-h!" growled the journeyman, between his teeth, "I'd hold you, if +you was my wife. I'd hold you under the pump, and choke it out of you." + +("I tell you, let her alone," said Joe.) + +"Oh! To hear him!" cried my sister, with a clap of her hands and a +scream together,--which was her next stage. "To hear the names he's +giving me! That Orlick! In my own house! Me, a married woman! With my +husband standing by! Oh! Oh!" Here my sister, after a fit of clappings +and screamings, beat her hands upon her bosom and upon her knees, and +threw her cap off, and pulled her hair down,--which were the last stages +on her road to frenzy. Being by this time a perfect Fury and a complete +success, she made a dash at the door which I had fortunately locked. + +What could the wretched Joe do now, after his disregarded parenthetical +interruptions, but stand up to his journeyman, and ask him what he meant +by interfering betwixt himself and Mrs. Joe; and further whether he was +man enough to come on? Old Orlick felt that the situation admitted of +nothing less than coming on, and was on his defence straightway; so, +without so much as pulling off their singed and burnt aprons, they went +at one another, like two giants. But, if any man in that neighborhood +could stand uplong against Joe, I never saw the man. Orlick, as if he +had been of no more account than the pale young gentleman, was very +soon among the coal-dust, and in no hurry to come out of it. Then Joe +unlocked the door and picked up my sister, who had dropped insensible +at the window (but who had seen the fight first, I think), and who was +carried into the house and laid down, and who was recommended to revive, +and would do nothing but struggle and clench her hands in Joe's hair. +Then, came that singular calm and silence which succeed all uproars; and +then, with the vague sensation which I have always connected with such +a lull,--namely, that it was Sunday, and somebody was dead,--I went upstairs +stto dress myself. + +When I came down again, I found Joe and Orlick sweeping up, without any +other traces of discomposure than a slit in one of Orlick's nostrils, +which was neither expressive nor ornamental. A pot of beer had appeared +from the Jolly Bargemen, and they were sharing it by turns in a +peaceable manner. The lull had a sedative and philosophical influence on +Joe, who followed me out into the road to say, as a parting observation +that might do me good, "On the Rampage, Pip, and off the Rampage, +Pip:--such is Life!" + +With what absurd emotions (for we think the feelings that are very +serious in a man quite comical in a boy) I found myself again going to +Miss Havisham's, matters little here. Nor, how I passed and repassed +the gate many times before I could make up my mind to ring. Nor, how +I debated whether I should go away without ringing; nor, how I should +undoubtedly have gone, if my time had been my own, to come back. + +Miss Sarah Pocket came to the gate. No Estella. + +"How, then? You here again?" said Miss Pocket. "What do you want?" + +When I said that I only came to see how Miss Havisham was, Sarah +evidently deliberated whether or no she should send me about my +business. But unwilling to hazard the responsibility, she let me in, and +presently brought the sharp message that I was to "come up." + +Everything was unchanged, and Miss Havisham was alone. + +"Well?" said she, fixing her eyes upon me. "I hope you want nothing? +You'll get nothing." + +"No indeed, Miss Havisham. I only wanted you to know that I am doing +very well in my apprenticeship, and am always much obliged to you." + +"There, there!" with the old restless fingers. "Come now and then; come +on your birthday.--Ay!" she cried suddenly, turning herself and her +chair towards me, "You are looking round for Estella? Hey?" + +I had been looking round,--in fact, for Estella,--and I stammered that I +hoped she was well. + +"Abroad," said Miss Havisham; "educating for a lady; far out of reach; +prettier than ever; admired by all who see her. Do you feel that you +have lost her?" + +There was such a malignant enjoyment in her utterance of the last words, +and she broke into such a disagreeable laugh, that I was at a loss what +to say. She spared me the trouble of considering, by dismissing me. When +the gate was closed upon me by Sarah of the walnut-shell countenance, I +felt more than ever dissatisfied with my home and with my trade and with +everything; and that was all I took by that motion. + +As I was loitering along the High Street, looking in disconsolately at +the shop windows, and thinking what I would buy if I were a gentleman, +who should come out of the bookshop but Mr. Wopsle. Mr. Wopsle had in +his hand the affecting tragedy of George Barnwell, in which he had that +moment invested sixpence, with the view of heaping every word of it on +the head of Pumblechook, with whom he was going to drink tea. No sooner +did he see me, than he appeared to consider that a special Providence +had put a 'prentice in his way to be read at; and he laid hold of me, +and insisted on my accompanying him to the Pumblechookian parlor. As I +knew it would be miserable at home, and as the nights were dark and the +way was dreary, and almost any companionship on the road was better +than none, I made no great resistance; consequently, we turned into +Pumblechook's just as the street and the shops were lighting up. + +As I never assisted at any other representation of George Barnwell, I +don't know how long it may usually take; but I know very well that it +took until half-past nine o' clock that night, and that when Mr. Wopsle +got into Newgate, I thought he never would go to the scaffold, he became +so much slower than at any former period of his disgraceful career. I +thought it a little too much that he should complain of being cut short +in his flower after all, as if he had not been running to seed, leaf +after leaf, ever since his course began. This, however, was a +mere question of length and wearisomeness. What stung me, was the +identification of the whole affair with my unoffending self. When +Barnwell began to go wrong, I declare that I felt positively apologetic, +Pumblechook's indignant stare so taxed me with it. Wopsle, too, took +pains to present me in the worst light. At once ferocious and maudlin, I +was made to murder my uncle with no extenuating circumstances whatever; +Millwood put me down in argument, on every occasion; it became sheer +monomania in my master's daughter to care a button for me; and all I can +say for my gasping and procrastinating conduct on the fatal morning, is, +that it was worthy of the general feebleness of my character. Even after +I was happily hanged and Wopsle had closed the book, Pumblechook sat +staring at me, and shaking his head, and saying, "Take warning, boy, +take warning!" as if it were a well-known fact that I contemplated +murdering a near relation, provided I could only induce one to have the +weakness to become my benefactor. + +It was a very dark night when it was all over, and when I set out with +Mr. Wopsle on the walk home. Beyond town, we found a heavy mist out, and +it fell wet and thick. The turnpike lamp was a blur, quite out of the +lamp's usual place apparently, and its rays looked solid substance on +the fog. We were noticing this, and saying how that the mist rose with a +change of wind from a certain quarter of our marshes, when we came upon +a man, slouching under the lee of the turnpike house. + +"Halloa!" we said, stopping. "Orlick there?" + +"Ah!" he answered, slouching out. "I was standing by a minute, on the +chance of company." + +"You are late," I remarked. + +Orlick not unnaturally answered, "Well? And you're late." + +"We have been," said Mr. Wopsle, exalted with his late performance,--"we +have been indulging, Mr. Orlick, in an intellectual evening." + +Old Orlick growled, as if he had nothing to say about that, and we all +went on together. I asked him presently whether he had been spending his +half-holiday up and down town? + +"Yes," said he, "all of it. I come in behind yourself. I didn't see you, +but I must have been pretty close behind you. By the by, the guns is +going again." + +"At the Hulks?" said I. + +"Ay! There's some of the birds flown from the cages. The guns have been +going since dark, about. You'll hear one presently." + +In effect, we had not walked many yards further, when the +well-remembered boom came towards us, deadened by the mist, and heavily +rolled away along the low grounds by the river, as if it were pursuing +and threatening the fugitives. + +"A good night for cutting off in," said Orlick. "We'd be puzzled how to +bring down a jail-bird on the wing, to-night." + +The subject was a suggestive one to me, and I thought about it in +silence. Mr. Wopsle, as the ill-requited uncle of the evening's tragedy, +fell to meditating aloud in his garden at Camberwell. Orlick, with his +hands in his pockets, slouched heavily at my side. It was very dark, +very wet, very muddy, and so we splashed along. Now and then, the sound +of the signal cannon broke upon us again, and again rolled sulkily along +the course of the river. I kept myself to myself and my thoughts. Mr. +Wopsle died amiably at Camberwell, and exceedingly game on Bosworth +Field, and in the greatest agonies at Glastonbury. Orlick sometimes +growled, "Beat it out, beat it out,--Old Clem! With a clink for the +stout,--Old Clem!" I thought he had been drinking, but he was not drunk. + +Thus, we came to the village. The way by which we approached it took us +past the Three Jolly Bargemen, which we were surprised to find--it being +eleven o'clock--in a state of commotion, with the door wide open, and +unwonted lights that had been hastily caught up and put down scattered +about. Mr. Wopsle dropped in to ask what was the matter (surmising that +a convict had been taken), but came running out in a great hurry. + +"There's something wrong," said he, without stopping, "up at your place, +Pip. Run all!" + +"What is it?" I asked, keeping up with him. So did Orlick, at my side. + +"I can't quite understand. The house seems to have been violently +entered when Joe Gargery was out. Supposed by convicts. Somebody has +been attacked and hurt." + +We were running too fast to admit of more being said, and we made no +stop until we got into our kitchen. It was full of people; the whole +village was there, or in the yard; and there was a surgeon, and there +was Joe, and there were a group of women, all on the floor in the midst +of the kitchen. The unemployed bystanders drew back when they saw me, +and so I became aware of my sister,--lying without sense or movement on +the bare boards where she had been knocked down by a tremendous blow +on the back of the head, dealt by some unknown hand when her face was +turned towards the fire,--destined never to be on the Rampage again, +while she was the wife of Joe. + + + + +Chapter XVI + +With my head full of George Barnwell, I was at first disposed to believe +that I must have had some hand in the attack upon my sister, or at +all events that as her near relation, popularly known to be under +obligations to her, I was a more legitimate object of suspicion than +any one else. But when, in the clearer light of next morning, I began to +reconsider the matter and to hear it discussed around me on all sides, I +took another view of the case, which was more reasonable. + +Joe had been at the Three Jolly Bargemen, smoking his pipe, from a +quarter after eight o'clock to a quarter before ten. While he was there, +my sister had been seen standing at the kitchen door, and had exchanged +Good Night with a farm-laborer going home. The man could not be more +particular as to the time at which he saw her (he got into dense +confusion when he tried to be), than that it must have been before nine. +When Joe went home at five minutes before ten, he found her struck down +on the floor, and promptly called in assistance. The fire had not then +burnt unusually low, nor was the snuff of the candle very long; the +candle, however, had been blown out. + +Nothing had been taken away from any part of the house. Neither, beyond +the blowing out of the candle,--which stood on a table between the door +and my sister, and was behind her when she stood facing the fire and was +struck,--was there any disarrangement of the kitchen, excepting such +as she herself had made, in falling and bleeding. But, there was one +remarkable piece of evidence on the spot. She had been struck with +something blunt and heavy, on the head and spine; after the blows were +dealt, something heavy had been thrown down at her with considerable +violence, as she lay on her face. And on the ground beside her, when Joe +picked her up, was a convict's leg-iron which had been filed asunder. + +Now, Joe, examining this iron with a smith's eye, declared it to have +been filed asunder some time ago. The hue and cry going off to the +Hulks, and people coming thence to examine the iron, Joe's opinion +was corroborated. They did not undertake to say when it had left the +prison-ships to which it undoubtedly had once belonged; but they claimed +to know for certain that that particular manacle had not been worn by +either of the two convicts who had escaped last night. Further, one of +those two was already retaken, and had not freed himself of his iron. + +Knowing what I knew, I set up an inference of my own here. I believed +the iron to be my convict's iron,--the iron I had seen and heard him +filing at, on the marshes,--but my mind did not accuse him of having put +it to its latest use. For I believed one of two other persons to have +become possessed of it, and to have turned it to this cruel account. +Either Orlick, or the strange man who had shown me the file. + +Now, as to Orlick; he had gone to town exactly as he told us when we +picked him up at the turnpike, he had been seen about town all the +evening, he had been in divers companies in several public-houses, and +he had come back with myself and Mr. Wopsle. There was nothing against +him, save the quarrel; and my sister had quarrelled with him, and with +everybody else about her, ten thousand times. As to the strange man; if +he had come back for his two bank-notes there could have been no dispute +about them, because my sister was fully prepared to restore them. +Besides, there had been no altercation; the assailant had come in so +silently and suddenly, that she had been felled before she could look +round. + +It was horrible to think that I had provided the weapon, however +undesignedly, but I could hardly think otherwise. I suffered unspeakable +trouble while I considered and reconsidered whether I should at last +dissolve that spell of my childhood and tell Joe all the story. For +months afterwards, I every day settled the question finally in the +negative, and reopened and reargued it next morning. The contention +came, after all, to this;--the secret was such an old one now, had so +grown into me and become a part of myself, that I could not tear it +away. In addition to the dread that, having led up to so much mischief, +it would be now more likely than ever to alienate Joe from me if he +believed it, I had a further restraining dread that he would not believe +it, but would assort it with the fabulous dogs and veal-cutlets as a +monstrous invention. However, I temporized with myself, of course--for, +was I not wavering between right and wrong, when the thing is always +done?--and resolved to make a full disclosure if I should see any +such new occasion as a new chance of helping in the discovery of the +assailant. + +The Constables and the Bow Street men from London--for, this happened in +the days of the extinct red-waistcoated police--were about the house for +a week or two, and did pretty much what I have heard and read of like +authorities doing in other such cases. They took up several obviously +wrong people, and they ran their heads very hard against wrong ideas, +and persisted in trying to fit the circumstances to the ideas, instead +of trying to extract ideas from the circumstances. Also, they stood +about the door of the Jolly Bargemen, with knowing and reserved looks +that filled the whole neighborhood with admiration; and they had a +mysterious manner of taking their drink, that was almost as good as +taking the culprit. But not quite, for they never did it. + +Long after these constitutional powers had dispersed, my sister lay very +ill in bed. Her sight was disturbed, so that she saw objects multiplied, +and grasped at visionary teacups and wineglasses instead of the +realities; her hearing was greatly impaired; her memory also; and her +speech was unintelligible. When, at last, she came round so far as to +be helped downstairs, it was still necessary to keep my slate always by +her, that she might indicate in writing what she could not indicate in +speech. As she was (very bad handwriting apart) a more than indifferent +speller, and as Joe was a more than indifferent reader, extraordinary +complications arose between them which I was always called in to solve. +The administration of mutton instead of medicine, the substitution of +Tea for Joe, and the baker for bacon, were among the mildest of my own +mistakes. + +However, her temper was greatly improved, and she was patient. A +tremulous uncertainty of the action of all her limbs soon became a +part of her regular state, and afterwards, at intervals of two or three +months, she would often put her hands to her head, and would then remain +for about a week at a time in some gloomy aberration of mind. We were +at a loss to find a suitable attendant for her, until a circumstance +happened conveniently to relieve us. Mr. Wopsle's great-aunt conquered a +confirmed habit of living into which she had fallen, and Biddy became a +part of our establishment. + +It may have been about a month after my sister's reappearance in the +kitchen, when Biddy came to us with a small speckled box containing the +whole of her worldly effects, and became a blessing to the household. +Above all, she was a blessing to Joe, for the dear old fellow was sadly +cut up by the constant contemplation of the wreck of his wife, and had +been accustomed, while attending on her of an evening, to turn to me +every now and then and say, with his blue eyes moistened, "Such a fine +figure of a woman as she once were, Pip!" Biddy instantly taking the +cleverest charge of her as though she had studied her from infancy; Joe +became able in some sort to appreciate the greater quiet of his life, +and to get down to the Jolly Bargemen now and then for a change that did +him good. It was characteristic of the police people that they had all +more or less suspected poor Joe (though he never knew it), and that they +had to a man concurred in regarding him as one of the deepest spirits +they had ever encountered. + +Biddy's first triumph in her new office, was to solve a difficulty +that had completely vanquished me. I had tried hard at it, but had made +nothing of it. Thus it was:-- + +Again and again and again, my sister had traced upon the slate, a +character that looked like a curious T, and then with the utmost +eagerness had called our attention to it as something she particularly +wanted. I had in vain tried everything producible that began with a T, +from tar to toast and tub. At length it had come into my head that the +sign looked like a hammer, and on my lustily calling that word in my +sister's ear, she had begun to hammer on the table and had expressed a +qualified assent. Thereupon, I had brought in all our hammers, one after +another, but without avail. Then I bethought me of a crutch, the shape +being much the same, and I borrowed one in the village, and displayed +it to my sister with considerable confidence. But she shook her head to +that extent when she was shown it, that we were terrified lest in her +weak and shattered state she should dislocate her neck. + +When my sister found that Biddy was very quick to understand her, this +mysterious sign reappeared on the slate. Biddy looked thoughtfully +at it, heard my explanation, looked thoughtfully at my sister, looked +thoughtfully at Joe (who was always represented on the slate by his +initial letter), and ran into the forge, followed by Joe and me. + +"Why, of course!" cried Biddy, with an exultant face. "Don't you see? +It's him!" + +Orlick, without a doubt! She had lost his name, and could only signify +him by his hammer. We told him why we wanted him to come into the +kitchen, and he slowly laid down his hammer, wiped his brow with his +arm, took another wipe at it with his apron, and came slouching +out, with a curious loose vagabond bend in the knees that strongly +distinguished him. + +I confess that I expected to see my sister denounce him, and that I +was disappointed by the different result. She manifested the greatest +anxiety to be on good terms with him, was evidently much pleased by his +being at length produced, and motioned that she would have him +given something to drink. She watched his countenance as if she were +particularly wishful to be assured that he took kindly to his reception, +she showed every possible desire to conciliate him, and there was an air +of humble propitiation in all she did, such as I have seen pervade the +bearing of a child towards a hard master. After that day, a day rarely +passed without her drawing the hammer on her slate, and without Orlick's +slouching in and standing doggedly before her, as if he knew no more +than I did what to make of it. + + + + +Chapter XVII + +I now fell into a regular routine of apprenticeship life, which was +varied beyond the limits of the village and the marshes, by no more +remarkable circumstance than the arrival of my birthday and my paying +another visit to Miss Havisham. I found Miss Sarah Pocket still on duty +at the gate; I found Miss Havisham just as I had left her, and she spoke +of Estella in the very same way, if not in the very same words. The +interview lasted but a few minutes, and she gave me a guinea when I was +going, and told me to come again on my next birthday. I may mention at +once that this became an annual custom. I tried to decline taking the +guinea on the first occasion, but with no better effect than causing her +to ask me very angrily, if I expected more? Then, and after that, I took +it. + +So unchanging was the dull old house, the yellow light in the darkened +room, the faded spectre in the chair by the dressing-table glass, that +I felt as if the stopping of the clocks had stopped Time in that +mysterious place, and, while I and everything else outside it grew +older, it stood still. Daylight never entered the house as to my +thoughts and remembrances of it, any more than as to the actual fact. It +bewildered me, and under its influence I continued at heart to hate my +trade and to be ashamed of home. + +Imperceptibly I became conscious of a change in Biddy, however. Her +shoes came up at the heel, her hair grew bright and neat, her hands were +always clean. She was not beautiful,--she was common, and could not be +like Estella,--but she was pleasant and wholesome and sweet-tempered. +She had not been with us more than a year (I remember her being newly +out of mourning at the time it struck me), when I observed to myself one +evening that she had curiously thoughtful and attentive eyes; eyes that +were very pretty and very good. + +It came of my lifting up my own eyes from a task I was poring +at--writing some passages from a book, to improve myself in two ways at +once by a sort of stratagem--and seeing Biddy observant of what I was +about. I laid down my pen, and Biddy stopped in her needlework without +laying it down. + +"Biddy," said I, "how do you manage it? Either I am very stupid, or you +are very clever." + +"What is it that I manage? I don't know," returned Biddy, smiling. + +She managed our whole domestic life, and wonderfully too; but I did not +mean that, though that made what I did mean more surprising. + +"How do you manage, Biddy," said I, "to learn everything that I learn, +and always to keep up with me?" I was beginning to be rather vain of +my knowledge, for I spent my birthday guineas on it, and set aside the +greater part of my pocket-money for similar investment; though I have no +doubt, now, that the little I knew was extremely dear at the price. + +"I might as well ask you," said Biddy, "how you manage?" + +"No; because when I come in from the forge of a night, any one can see +me turning to at it. But you never turn to at it, Biddy." + +"I suppose I must catch it like a cough," said Biddy, quietly; and went +on with her sewing. + +Pursuing my idea as I leaned back in my wooden chair, and looked at +Biddy sewing away with her head on one side, I began to think her rather +an extraordinary girl. For I called to mind now, that she was equally +accomplished in the terms of our trade, and the names of our different +sorts of work, and our various tools. In short, whatever I knew, Biddy +knew. Theoretically, she was already as good a blacksmith as I, or +better. + +"You are one of those, Biddy," said I, "who make the most of every +chance. You never had a chance before you came here, and see how +improved you are!" + +Biddy looked at me for an instant, and went on with her sewing. "I was +your first teacher though; wasn't I?" said she, as she sewed. + +"Biddy!" I exclaimed, in amazement. "Why, you are crying!" + +"No I am not," said Biddy, looking up and laughing. "What put that in +your head?" + +What could have put it in my head but the glistening of a tear as it +dropped on her work? I sat silent, recalling what a drudge she had been +until Mr. Wopsle's great-aunt successfully overcame that bad habit of +living, so highly desirable to be got rid of by some people. I recalled +the hopeless circumstances by which she had been surrounded in the +miserable little shop and the miserable little noisy evening school, +with that miserable old bundle of incompetence always to be dragged and +shouldered. I reflected that even in those untoward times there must +have been latent in Biddy what was now developing, for, in my first +uneasiness and discontent I had turned to her for help, as a matter of +course. Biddy sat quietly sewing, shedding no more tears, and while I +looked at her and thought about it all, it occurred to me that perhaps +I had not been sufficiently grateful to Biddy. I might have been too +reserved, and should have patronized her more (though I did not use that +precise word in my meditations) with my confidence. + +"Yes, Biddy," I observed, when I had done turning it over, "you were my +first teacher, and that at a time when we little thought of ever being +together like this, in this kitchen." + +"Ah, poor thing!" replied Biddy. It was like her self-forgetfulness to +transfer the remark to my sister, and to get up and be busy about her, +making her more comfortable; "that's sadly true!" + +"Well!" said I, "we must talk together a little more, as we used to do. +And I must consult you a little more, as I used to do. Let us have a +quiet walk on the marshes next Sunday, Biddy, and a long chat." + +My sister was never left alone now; but Joe more than readily undertook +the care of her on that Sunday afternoon, and Biddy and I went out +together. It was summer-time, and lovely weather. When we had passed the +village and the church and the churchyard, and were out on the marshes +and began to see the sails of the ships as they sailed on, I began to +combine Miss Havisham and Estella with the prospect, in my usual way. +When we came to the river-side and sat down on the bank, with the water +rippling at our feet, making it all more quiet than it would have been +without that sound, I resolved that it was a good time and place for the +admission of Biddy into my inner confidence. + +"Biddy," said I, after binding her to secrecy, "I want to be a +gentleman." + +"O, I wouldn't, if I was you!" she returned. "I don't think it would +answer." + +"Biddy," said I, with some severity, "I have particular reasons for +wanting to be a gentleman." + +"You know best, Pip; but don't you think you are happier as you are?" + +"Biddy," I exclaimed, impatiently, "I am not at all happy as I am. I +am disgusted with my calling and with my life. I have never taken to +either, since I was bound. Don't be absurd." + +"Was I absurd?" said Biddy, quietly raising her eyebrows; "I am sorry +for that; I didn't mean to be. I only want you to do well, and to be +comfortable." + +"Well, then, understand once for all that I never shall or can be +comfortable--or anything but miserable--there, Biddy!--unless I can lead +a very different sort of life from the life I lead now." + +"That's a pity!" said Biddy, shaking her head with a sorrowful air. + +Now, I too had so often thought it a pity, that, in the singular kind of +quarrel with myself which I was always carrying on, I was half inclined +to shed tears of vexation and distress when Biddy gave utterance to her +sentiment and my own. I told her she was right, and I knew it was much +to be regretted, but still it was not to be helped. + +"If I could have settled down," I said to Biddy, plucking up the short +grass within reach, much as I had once upon a time pulled my feelings +out of my hair and kicked them into the brewery wall,--"if I could have +settled down and been but half as fond of the forge as I was when I was +little, I know it would have been much better for me. You and I and Joe +would have wanted nothing then, and Joe and I would perhaps have gone +partners when I was out of my time, and I might even have grown up to +keep company with you, and we might have sat on this very bank on a fine +Sunday, quite different people. I should have been good enough for you; +shouldn't I, Biddy?" + +Biddy sighed as she looked at the ships sailing on, and returned for +answer, "Yes; I am not over-particular." It scarcely sounded flattering, +but I knew she meant well. + +"Instead of that," said I, plucking up more grass and chewing a blade or +two, "see how I am going on. Dissatisfied, and uncomfortable, and--what +would it signify to me, being coarse and common, if nobody had told me +so!" + +Biddy turned her face suddenly towards mine, and looked far more +attentively at me than she had looked at the sailing ships. + +"It was neither a very true nor a very polite thing to say," she +remarked, directing her eyes to the ships again. "Who said it?" + +I was disconcerted, for I had broken away without quite seeing where +I was going to. It was not to be shuffled off now, however, and I +answered, "The beautiful young lady at Miss Havisham's, and she's more +beautiful than anybody ever was, and I admire her dreadfully, and I want +to be a gentleman on her account." Having made this lunatic confession, +I began to throw my torn-up grass into the river, as if I had some +thoughts of following it. + +"Do you want to be a gentleman, to spite her or to gain her over?" Biddy +quietly asked me, after a pause. + +"I don't know," I moodily answered. + +"Because, if it is to spite her," Biddy pursued, "I should think--but +you know best--that might be better and more independently done by +caring nothing for her words. And if it is to gain her over, I should +think--but you know best--she was not worth gaining over." + +Exactly what I myself had thought, many times. Exactly what was +perfectly manifest to me at the moment. But how could I, a poor dazed +village lad, avoid that wonderful inconsistency into which the best and +wisest of men fall every day? + +"It may be all quite true," said I to Biddy, "but I admire her +dreadfully." + +In short, I turned over on my face when I came to that, and got a good +grasp on the hair on each side of my head, and wrenched it well. All the +while knowing the madness of my heart to be so very mad and misplaced, +that I was quite conscious it would have served my face right, if I +had lifted it up by my hair, and knocked it against the pebbles as a +punishment for belonging to such an idiot. + +Biddy was the wisest of girls, and she tried to reason no more with me. +She put her hand, which was a comfortable hand though roughened by work, +upon my hands, one after another, and gently took them out of my hair. +Then she softly patted my shoulder in a soothing way, while with my face +upon my sleeve I cried a little,--exactly as I had done in the brewery +yard,--and felt vaguely convinced that I was very much ill-used by +somebody, or by everybody; I can't say which. + +"I am glad of one thing," said Biddy, "and that is, that you have felt +you could give me your confidence, Pip. And I am glad of another thing, +and that is, that of course you know you may depend upon my keeping it +and always so far deserving it. If your first teacher (dear! such a poor +one, and so much in need of being taught herself!) had been your teacher +at the present time, she thinks she knows what lesson she would set. But +it would be a hard one to learn, and you have got beyond her, and it's +of no use now." So, with a quiet sigh for me, Biddy rose from the bank, +and said, with a fresh and pleasant change of voice, "Shall we walk a +little farther, or go home?" + +"Biddy," I cried, getting up, putting my arm round her neck, and giving +her a kiss, "I shall always tell you everything." + +"Till you're a gentleman," said Biddy. + +"You know I never shall be, so that's always. Not that I have any +occasion to tell you anything, for you know everything I know,--as I +told you at home the other night." + +"Ah!" said Biddy, quite in a whisper, as she looked away at the ships. +And then repeated, with her former pleasant change, "shall we walk a +little farther, or go home?" + +I said to Biddy we would walk a little farther, and we did so, and the +summer afternoon toned down into the summer evening, and it was very +beautiful. I began to consider whether I was not more naturally and +wholesomely situated, after all, in these circumstances, than playing +beggar my neighbor by candle-light in the room with the stopped clocks, +and being despised by Estella. I thought it would be very good for me if +I could get her out of my head, with all the rest of those remembrances +and fancies, and could go to work determined to relish what I had to do, +and stick to it, and make the best of it. I asked myself the question +whether I did not surely know that if Estella were beside me at that +moment instead of Biddy, she would make me miserable? I was obliged to +admit that I did know it for a certainty, and I said to myself, "Pip, +what a fool you are!" + +We talked a good deal as we walked, and all that Biddy said seemed +right. Biddy was never insulting, or capricious, or Biddy to-day and +somebody else to-morrow; she would have derived only pain, and no +pleasure, from giving me pain; she would far rather have wounded her own +breast than mine. How could it be, then, that I did not like her much +the better of the two? + +"Biddy," said I, when we were walking homeward, "I wish you could put me +right." + +"I wish I could!" said Biddy. + +"If I could only get myself to fall in love with you,--you don't mind my +speaking so openly to such an old acquaintance?" + +"Oh dear, not at all!" said Biddy. "Don't mind me." + +"If I could only get myself to do it, that would be the thing for me." + +"But you never will, you see," said Biddy. + +It did not appear quite so unlikely to me that evening, as it would have +done if we had discussed it a few hours before. I therefore observed +I was not quite sure of that. But Biddy said she was, and she said it +decisively. In my heart I believed her to be right; and yet I took it +rather ill, too, that she should be so positive on the point. + +When we came near the churchyard, we had to cross an embankment, and +get over a stile near a sluice-gate. There started up, from the gate, or +from the rushes, or from the ooze (which was quite in his stagnant way), +Old Orlick. + +"Halloa!" he growled, "where are you two going?" + +"Where should we be going, but home?" + +"Well, then," said he, "I'm jiggered if I don't see you home!" + +This penalty of being jiggered was a favorite supposititious case of +his. He attached no definite meaning to the word that I am aware of, but +used it, like his own pretended Christian name, to affront mankind, and +convey an idea of something savagely damaging. When I was younger, I +had had a general belief that if he had jiggered me personally, he would +have done it with a sharp and twisted hook. + +Biddy was much against his going with us, and said to me in a whisper, +"Don't let him come; I don't like him." As I did not like him either, +I took the liberty of saying that we thanked him, but we didn't want +seeing home. He received that piece of information with a yell of +laughter, and dropped back, but came slouching after us at a little +distance. + +Curious to know whether Biddy suspected him of having had a hand in +that murderous attack of which my sister had never been able to give any +account, I asked her why she did not like him. + +"Oh!" she replied, glancing over her shoulder as he slouched after us, +"because I--I am afraid he likes me." + +"Did he ever tell you he liked you?" I asked indignantly. + +"No," said Biddy, glancing over her shoulder again, "he never told me +so; but he dances at me, whenever he can catch my eye." + +However novel and peculiar this testimony of attachment, I did not +doubt the accuracy of the interpretation. I was very hot indeed upon +Old Orlick's daring to admire her; as hot as if it were an outrage on +myself. + +"But it makes no difference to you, you know," said Biddy, calmly. + +"No, Biddy, it makes no difference to me; only I don't like it; I don't +approve of it." + +"Nor I neither," said Biddy. "Though that makes no difference to you." + +"Exactly," said I; "but I must tell you I should have no opinion of you, +Biddy, if he danced at you with your own consent." + +I kept an eye on Orlick after that night, and, whenever circumstances +were favorable to his dancing at Biddy, got before him to obscure that +demonstration. He had struck root in Joe's establishment, by reason +of my sister's sudden fancy for him, or I should have tried to get him +dismissed. He quite understood and reciprocated my good intentions, as I +had reason to know thereafter. + +And now, because my mind was not confused enough before, I complicated +its confusion fifty thousand-fold, by having states and seasons when I +was clear that Biddy was immeasurably better than Estella, and that the +plain honest working life to which I was born had nothing in it to +be ashamed of, but offered me sufficient means of self-respect +and happiness. At those times, I would decide conclusively that my +disaffection to dear old Joe and the forge was gone, and that I was +growing up in a fair way to be partners with Joe and to keep company +with Biddy,--when all in a moment some confounding remembrance of the +Havisham days would fall upon me like a destructive missile, and scatter +my wits again. Scattered wits take a long time picking up; and often +before I had got them well together, they would be dispersed in all +directions by one stray thought, that perhaps after all Miss Havisham +was going to make my fortune when my time was out. + +If my time had run out, it would have left me still at the height of my +perplexities, I dare say. It never did run out, however, but was brought +to a premature end, as I proceed to relate. + + + + +Chapter XVIII + +It was in the fourth year of my apprenticeship to Joe, and it was a +Saturday night. There was a group assembled round the fire at the Three +Jolly Bargemen, attentive to Mr. Wopsle as he read the newspaper aloud. +Of that group I was one. + +A highly popular murder had been committed, and Mr. Wopsle was imbrued +in blood to the eyebrows. He gloated over every abhorrent adjective +in the description, and identified himself with every witness at the +Inquest. He faintly moaned, "I am done for," as the victim, and he +barbarously bellowed, "I'll serve you out," as the murderer. He gave the +medical testimony, in pointed imitation of our local practitioner; and +he piped and shook, as the aged turnpike-keeper who had heard blows, to +an extent so very paralytic as to suggest a doubt regarding the mental +competency of that witness. The coroner, in Mr. Wopsle's hands, became +Timon of Athens; the beadle, Coriolanus. He enjoyed himself thoroughly, +and we all enjoyed ourselves, and were delightfully comfortable. In this +cosey state of mind we came to the verdict Wilful Murder. + +Then, and not sooner, I became aware of a strange gentleman leaning over +the back of the settle opposite me, looking on. There was an expression +of contempt on his face, and he bit the side of a great forefinger as he +watched the group of faces. + +"Well!" said the stranger to Mr. Wopsle, when the reading was done, "you +have settled it all to your own satisfaction, I have no doubt?" + +Everybody started and looked up, as if it were the murderer. He looked +at everybody coldly and sarcastically. + +"Guilty, of course?" said he. "Out with it. Come!" + +"Sir," returned Mr. Wopsle, "without having the honor of your +acquaintance, I do say Guilty." Upon this we all took courage to unite +in a confirmatory murmur. + +"I know you do," said the stranger; "I knew you would. I told you so. +But now I'll ask you a question. Do you know, or do you not know, +that the law of England supposes every man to be innocent, until he is +proved--proved--to be guilty?" + +"Sir," Mr. Wopsle began to reply, "as an Englishman myself, I--" + +"Come!" said the stranger, biting his forefinger at him. "Don't evade +the question. Either you know it, or you don't know it. Which is it to +be?" + +He stood with his head on one side and himself on one side, in a +bullying, interrogative manner, and he threw his forefinger at Mr. +Wopsle,--as it were to mark him out--before biting it again. + +"Now!" said he. "Do you know it, or don't you know it?" + +"Certainly I know it," replied Mr. Wopsle. + +"Certainly you know it. Then why didn't you say so at first? Now, I'll +ask you another question,"--taking possession of Mr. Wopsle, as if he +had a right to him,--"do you know that none of these witnesses have yet +been cross-examined?" + +Mr. Wopsle was beginning, "I can only say--" when the stranger stopped +him. + +"What? You won't answer the question, yes or no? Now, I'll try you +again." Throwing his finger at him again. "Attend to me. Are you +aware, or are you not aware, that none of these witnesses have yet been +cross-examined? Come, I only want one word from you. Yes, or no?" + +Mr. Wopsle hesitated, and we all began to conceive rather a poor opinion +of him. + +"Come!" said the stranger, "I'll help you. You don't deserve help, but +I'll help you. Look at that paper you hold in your hand. What is it?" + +"What is it?" repeated Mr. Wopsle, eyeing it, much at a loss. + +"Is it," pursued the stranger in his most sarcastic and suspicious +manner, "the printed paper you have just been reading from?" + +"Undoubtedly." + +"Undoubtedly. Now, turn to that paper, and tell me whether it distinctly +states that the prisoner expressly said that his legal advisers +instructed him altogether to reserve his defence?" + +"I read that just now," Mr. Wopsle pleaded. + +"Never mind what you read just now, sir; I don't ask you what you read +just now. You may read the Lord's Prayer backwards, if you like,--and, +perhaps, have done it before to-day. Turn to the paper. No, no, no my +friend; not to the top of the column; you know better than that; to +the bottom, to the bottom." (We all began to think Mr. Wopsle full of +subterfuge.) "Well? Have you found it?" + +"Here it is," said Mr. Wopsle. + +"Now, follow that passage with your eye, and tell me whether it +distinctly states that the prisoner expressly said that he was +instructed by his legal advisers wholly to reserve his defence? Come! Do +you make that of it?" + +Mr. Wopsle answered, "Those are not the exact words." + +"Not the exact words!" repeated the gentleman bitterly. "Is that the +exact substance?" + +"Yes," said Mr. Wopsle. + +"Yes," repeated the stranger, looking round at the rest of the company +with his right hand extended towards the witness, Wopsle. "And now I ask +you what you say to the conscience of that man who, with that passage +before his eyes, can lay his head upon his pillow after having +pronounced a fellow-creature guilty, unheard?" + +We all began to suspect that Mr. Wopsle was not the man we had thought +him, and that he was beginning to be found out. + +"And that same man, remember," pursued the gentleman, throwing his +finger at Mr. Wopsle heavily,--"that same man might be summoned as a +juryman upon this very trial, and, having thus deeply committed himself, +might return to the bosom of his family and lay his head upon his +pillow, after deliberately swearing that he would well and truly try the +issue joined between Our Sovereign Lord the King and the prisoner at the +bar, and would a true verdict give according to the evidence, so help +him God!" + +We were all deeply persuaded that the unfortunate Wopsle had gone too +far, and had better stop in his reckless career while there was yet +time. + +The strange gentleman, with an air of authority not to be disputed, and +with a manner expressive of knowing something secret about every one of +us that would effectually do for each individual if he chose to disclose +it, left the back of the settle, and came into the space between the two +settles, in front of the fire, where he remained standing, his left hand +in his pocket, and he biting the forefinger of his right. + +"From information I have received," said he, looking round at us as we +all quailed before him, "I have reason to believe there is a blacksmith +among you, by name Joseph--or Joe--Gargery. Which is the man?" + +"Here is the man," said Joe. + +The strange gentleman beckoned him out of his place, and Joe went. + +"You have an apprentice," pursued the stranger, "commonly known as Pip? +Is he here?" + +"I am here!" I cried. + +The stranger did not recognize me, but I recognized him as the gentleman +I had met on the stairs, on the occasion of my second visit to Miss +Havisham. I had known him the moment I saw him looking over the settle, +and now that I stood confronting him with his hand upon my shoulder, +I checked off again in detail his large head, his dark complexion, his +deep-set eyes, his bushy black eyebrows, his large watch-chain, his +strong black dots of beard and whisker, and even the smell of scented +soap on his great hand. + +"I wish to have a private conference with you two," said he, when he had +surveyed me at his leisure. "It will take a little time. Perhaps we +had better go to your place of residence. I prefer not to anticipate my +communication here; you will impart as much or as little of it as you +please to your friends afterwards; I have nothing to do with that." + +Amidst a wondering silence, we three walked out of the Jolly Bargemen, +and in a wondering silence walked home. While going along, the strange +gentleman occasionally looked at me, and occasionally bit the side of +his finger. As we neared home, Joe vaguely acknowledging the occasion as +an impressive and ceremonious one, went on ahead to open the front door. +Our conference was held in the state parlor, which was feebly lighted by +one candle. + +It began with the strange gentleman's sitting down at the table, drawing +the candle to him, and looking over some entries in his pocket-book. +He then put up the pocket-book and set the candle a little aside, after +peering round it into the darkness at Joe and me, to ascertain which was +which. + +"My name," he said, "is Jaggers, and I am a lawyer in London. I am +pretty well known. I have unusual business to transact with you, and I +commence by explaining that it is not of my originating. If my advice +had been asked, I should not have been here. It was not asked, and you +see me here. What I have to do as the confidential agent of another, I +do. No less, no more." + +Finding that he could not see us very well from where he sat, he got +up, and threw one leg over the back of a chair and leaned upon it; thus +having one foot on the seat of the chair, and one foot on the ground. + +"Now, Joseph Gargery, I am the bearer of an offer to relieve you of +this young fellow your apprentice. You would not object to cancel his +indentures at his request and for his good? You would want nothing for +so doing?" + +"Lord forbid that I should want anything for not standing in Pip's way," +said Joe, staring. + +"Lord forbidding is pious, but not to the purpose," returned Mr. +Jaggers. "The question is, Would you want anything? Do you want +anything?" + +"The answer is," returned Joe, sternly, "No." + +I thought Mr. Jaggers glanced at Joe, as if he considered him a fool for +his disinterestedness. But I was too much bewildered between breathless +curiosity and surprise, to be sure of it. + +"Very well," said Mr. Jaggers. "Recollect the admission you have made, +and don't try to go from it presently." + +"Who's a going to try?" retorted Joe. + +"I don't say anybody is. Do you keep a dog?" + +"Yes, I do keep a dog." + +"Bear in mind then, that Brag is a good dog, but Holdfast is a better. +Bear that in mind, will you?" repeated Mr. Jaggers, shutting his eyes +and nodding his head at Joe, as if he were forgiving him something. +"Now, I return to this young fellow. And the communication I have got to +make is, that he has great expectations." + +Joe and I gasped, and looked at one another. + +"I am instructed to communicate to him," said Mr. Jaggers, throwing +his finger at me sideways, "that he will come into a handsome property. +Further, that it is the desire of the present possessor of that +property, that he be immediately removed from his present sphere of life +and from this place, and be brought up as a gentleman,--in a word, as a +young fellow of great expectations." + +My dream was out; my wild fancy was surpassed by sober reality; Miss +Havisham was going to make my fortune on a grand scale. + +"Now, Mr. Pip," pursued the lawyer, "I address the rest of what I have +to say, to you. You are to understand, first, that it is the request +of the person from whom I take my instructions that you always bear +the name of Pip. You will have no objection, I dare say, to your great +expectations being encumbered with that easy condition. But if you have +any objection, this is the time to mention it." + +My heart was beating so fast, and there was such a singing in my ears, +that I could scarcely stammer I had no objection. + +"I should think not! Now you are to understand, secondly, Mr. Pip, that +the name of the person who is your liberal benefactor remains a profound +secret, until the person chooses to reveal it. I am empowered to mention +that it is the intention of the person to reveal it at first hand by +word of mouth to yourself. When or where that intention may be carried +out, I cannot say; no one can say. It may be years hence. Now, you are +distinctly to understand that you are most positively prohibited from +making any inquiry on this head, or any allusion or reference, however +distant, to any individual whomsoever as the individual, in all the +communications you may have with me. If you have a suspicion in your own +breast, keep that suspicion in your own breast. It is not the least to +the purpose what the reasons of this prohibition are; they may be the +strongest and gravest reasons, or they may be mere whim. This is not for +you to inquire into. The condition is laid down. Your acceptance of it, +and your observance of it as binding, is the only remaining condition +that I am charged with, by the person from whom I take my instructions, +and for whom I am not otherwise responsible. That person is the person +from whom you derive your expectations, and the secret is solely held by +that person and by me. Again, not a very difficult condition with which +to encumber such a rise in fortune; but if you have any objection to it, +this is the time to mention it. Speak out." + +Once more, I stammered with difficulty that I had no objection. + +"I should think not! Now, Mr. Pip, I have done with stipulations." +Though he called me Mr. Pip, and began rather to make up to me, he still +could not get rid of a certain air of bullying suspicion; and even now +he occasionally shut his eyes and threw his finger at me while he +spoke, as much as to express that he knew all kinds of things to my +disparagement, if he only chose to mention them. "We come next, to mere +details of arrangement. You must know that, although I have used +the term 'expectations' more than once, you are not endowed with +expectations only. There is already lodged in my hands a sum of money +amply sufficient for your suitable education and maintenance. You will +please consider me your guardian. Oh!" for I was going to thank him, "I +tell you at once, I am paid for my services, or I shouldn't render them. +It is considered that you must be better educated, in accordance with +your altered position, and that you will be alive to the importance and +necessity of at once entering on that advantage." + +I said I had always longed for it. + +"Never mind what you have always longed for, Mr. Pip," he retorted; +"keep to the record. If you long for it now, that's enough. Am I +answered that you are ready to be placed at once under some proper +tutor? Is that it?" + +I stammered yes, that was it. + +"Good. Now, your inclinations are to be consulted. I don't think that +wise, mind, but it's my trust. Have you ever heard of any tutor whom you +would prefer to another?" + +I had never heard of any tutor but Biddy and Mr. Wopsle's great-aunt; +so, I replied in the negative. + +"There is a certain tutor, of whom I have some knowledge, who I think +might suit the purpose," said Mr. Jaggers. "I don't recommend him, +observe; because I never recommend anybody. The gentleman I speak of is +one Mr. Matthew Pocket." + +Ah! I caught at the name directly. Miss Havisham's relation. The Matthew +whom Mr. and Mrs. Camilla had spoken of. The Matthew whose place was to +be at Miss Havisham's head, when she lay dead, in her bride's dress on +the bride's table. + +"You know the name?" said Mr. Jaggers, looking shrewdly at me, and then +shutting up his eyes while he waited for my answer. + +My answer was, that I had heard of the name. + +"Oh!" said he. "You have heard of the name. But the question is, what do +you say of it?" + +I said, or tried to say, that I was much obliged to him for his +recommendation-- + +"No, my young friend!" he interrupted, shaking his great head very +slowly. "Recollect yourself!" + +Not recollecting myself, I began again that I was much obliged to him +for his recommendation-- + +"No, my young friend," he interrupted, shaking his head and frowning and +smiling both at once,--"no, no, no; it's very well done, but it won't +do; you are too young to fix me with it. Recommendation is not the word, +Mr. Pip. Try another." + +Correcting myself, I said that I was much obliged to him for his mention +of Mr. Matthew Pocket-- + +"That's more like it!" cried Mr. Jaggers.--And (I added), I would +gladly try that gentleman. + +"Good. You had better try him in his own house. The way shall be +prepared for you, and you can see his son first, who is in London. When +will you come to London?" + +I said (glancing at Joe, who stood looking on, motionless), that I +supposed I could come directly. + +"First," said Mr. Jaggers, "you should have some new clothes to come in, +and they should not be working-clothes. Say this day week. You'll want +some money. Shall I leave you twenty guineas?" + +He produced a long purse, with the greatest coolness, and counted them +out on the table and pushed them over to me. This was the first time he +had taken his leg from the chair. He sat astride of the chair when he +had pushed the money over, and sat swinging his purse and eyeing Joe. + +"Well, Joseph Gargery? You look dumbfoundered?" + +"I am!" said Joe, in a very decided manner. + +"It was understood that you wanted nothing for yourself, remember?" + +"It were understood," said Joe. "And it are understood. And it ever will +be similar according." + +"But what," said Mr. Jaggers, swinging his purse,--"what if it was in my +instructions to make you a present, as compensation?" + +"As compensation what for?" Joe demanded. + +"For the loss of his services." + +Joe laid his hand upon my shoulder with the touch of a woman. I have +often thought him since, like the steam-hammer that can crush a man or +pat an egg-shell, in his combination of strength with gentleness. "Pip +is that hearty welcome," said Joe, "to go free with his services, to +honor and fortun', as no words can tell him. But if you think as Money +can make compensation to me for the loss of the little child--what come +to the forge--and ever the best of friends!--" + +O dear good Joe, whom I was so ready to leave and so unthankful to, I +see you again, with your muscular blacksmith's arm before your eyes, +and your broad chest heaving, and your voice dying away. O dear good +faithful tender Joe, I feel the loving tremble of your hand upon my arm, +as solemnly this day as if it had been the rustle of an angel's wing! + +But I encouraged Joe at the time. I was lost in the mazes of my future +fortunes, and could not retrace the by-paths we had trodden together. I +begged Joe to be comforted, for (as he said) we had ever been the best +of friends, and (as I said) we ever would be so. Joe scooped his eyes +with his disengaged wrist, as if he were bent on gouging himself, but +said not another word. + +Mr. Jaggers had looked on at this, as one who recognized in Joe the +village idiot, and in me his keeper. When it was over, he said, weighing +in his hand the purse he had ceased to swing:-- + +"Now, Joseph Gargery, I warn you this is your last chance. No half +measures with me. If you mean to take a present that I have it in charge +to make you, speak out, and you shall have it. If on the contrary you +mean to say--" Here, to his great amazement, he was stopped by Joe's +suddenly working round him with every demonstration of a fell pugilistic +purpose. + +"Which I meantersay," cried Joe, "that if you come into my place +bull-baiting and badgering me, come out! Which I meantersay as sech if +you're a man, come on! Which I meantersay that what I say, I meantersay +and stand or fall by!" + +I drew Joe away, and he immediately became placable; merely stating to +me, in an obliging manner and as a polite expostulatory notice to any +one whom it might happen to concern, that he were not a going to be +bull-baited and badgered in his own place. Mr. Jaggers had risen when +Joe demonstrated, and had backed near the door. Without evincing +any inclination to come in again, he there delivered his valedictory +remarks. They were these. + +"Well, Mr. Pip, I think the sooner you leave here--as you are to be a +gentleman--the better. Let it stand for this day week, and you shall +receive my printed address in the meantime. You can take a hackney-coach +at the stage-coach office in London, and come straight to me. +Understand, that I express no opinion, one way or other, on the trust +I undertake. I am paid for undertaking it, and I do so. Now, understand +that, finally. Understand that!" + +He was throwing his finger at both of us, and I think would have gone +on, but for his seeming to think Joe dangerous, and going off. + +Something came into my head which induced me to run after him, as he was +going down to the Jolly Bargemen, where he had left a hired carriage. + +"I beg your pardon, Mr. Jaggers." + +"Halloa!" said he, facing round, "what's the matter?" + +"I wish to be quite right, Mr. Jaggers, and to keep to your directions; +so I thought I had better ask. Would there be any objection to my taking +leave of any one I know, about here, before I go away?" + +"No," said he, looking as if he hardly understood me. + +"I don't mean in the village only, but up town?" + +"No," said he. "No objection." + +I thanked him and ran home again, and there I found that Joe had already +locked the front door and vacated the state parlor, and was seated +by the kitchen fire with a hand on each knee, gazing intently at the +burning coals. I too sat down before the fire and gazed at the coals, +and nothing was said for a long time. + +My sister was in her cushioned chair in her corner, and Biddy sat at her +needle-work before the fire, and Joe sat next Biddy, and I sat next Joe +in the corner opposite my sister. The more I looked into the glowing +coals, the more incapable I became of looking at Joe; the longer the +silence lasted, the more unable I felt to speak. + +At length I got out, "Joe, have you told Biddy?" + +"No, Pip," returned Joe, still looking at the fire, and holding his +knees tight, as if he had private information that they intended to make +off somewhere, "which I left it to yourself, Pip." + +"I would rather you told, Joe." + +"Pip's a gentleman of fortun' then," said Joe, "and God bless him in +it!" + +Biddy dropped her work, and looked at me. Joe held his knees and looked +at me. I looked at both of them. After a pause, they both heartily +congratulated me; but there was a certain touch of sadness in their +congratulations that I rather resented. + +I took it upon myself to impress Biddy (and through Biddy, Joe) with the +grave obligation I considered my friends under, to know nothing and say +nothing about the maker of my fortune. It would all come out in good +time, I observed, and in the meanwhile nothing was to be said, save +that I had come into great expectations from a mysterious patron. Biddy +nodded her head thoughtfully at the fire as she took up her work again, +and said she would be very particular; and Joe, still detaining his +knees, said, "Ay, ay, I'll be ekervally partickler, Pip;" and then they +congratulated me again, and went on to express so much wonder at the +notion of my being a gentleman that I didn't half like it. + +Infinite pains were then taken by Biddy to convey to my sister some idea +of what had happened. To the best of my belief, those efforts entirely +failed. She laughed and nodded her head a great many times, and even +repeated after Biddy, the words "Pip" and "Property." But I doubt if +they had more meaning in them than an election cry, and I cannot suggest +a darker picture of her state of mind. + +I never could have believed it without experience, but as Joe and +Biddy became more at their cheerful ease again, I became quite gloomy. +Dissatisfied with my fortune, of course I could not be; but it is +possible that I may have been, without quite knowing it, dissatisfied +with myself. + +Any how, I sat with my elbow on my knee and my face upon my hand, +looking into the fire, as those two talked about my going away, and +about what they should do without me, and all that. And whenever I +caught one of them looking at me, though never so pleasantly (and they +often looked at me,--particularly Biddy), I felt offended: as if they +were expressing some mistrust of me. Though Heaven knows they never did +by word or sign. + +At those times I would get up and look out at the door; for our kitchen +door opened at once upon the night, and stood open on summer evenings to +air the room. The very stars to which I then raised my eyes, I am afraid +I took to be but poor and humble stars for glittering on the rustic +objects among which I had passed my life. + +"Saturday night," said I, when we sat at our supper of bread and cheese +and beer. "Five more days, and then the day before the day! They'll soon +go." + +"Yes, Pip," observed Joe, whose voice sounded hollow in his beer-mug. +"They'll soon go." + +"Soon, soon go," said Biddy. + +"I have been thinking, Joe, that when I go down town on Monday, and +order my new clothes, I shall tell the tailor that I'll come and put +them on there, or that I'll have them sent to Mr. Pumblechook's. It +would be very disagreeable to be stared at by all the people here." + +"Mr. and Mrs. Hubble might like to see you in your new gen-teel figure +too, Pip," said Joe, industriously cutting his bread, with his cheese on +it, in the palm of his left hand, and glancing at my untasted supper +as if he thought of the time when we used to compare slices. "So might +Wopsle. And the Jolly Bargemen might take it as a compliment." + +"That's just what I don't want, Joe. They would make such a business of +it,--such a coarse and common business,--that I couldn't bear myself." + +"Ah, that indeed, Pip!" said Joe. "If you couldn't abear yourself--" + +Biddy asked me here, as she sat holding my sister's plate, "Have you +thought about when you'll show yourself to Mr. Gargery, and your sister +and me? You will show yourself to us; won't you?" + +"Biddy," I returned with some resentment, "you are so exceedingly quick +that it's difficult to keep up with you." + +("She always were quick," observed Joe.) + +"If you had waited another moment, Biddy, you would have heard me say +that I shall bring my clothes here in a bundle one evening,--most likely +on the evening before I go away." + +Biddy said no more. Handsomely forgiving her, I soon exchanged an +affectionate good night with her and Joe, and went up to bed. When I got +into my little room, I sat down and took a long look at it, as a mean +little room that I should soon be parted from and raised above, for +ever. It was furnished with fresh young remembrances too, and even at +the same moment I fell into much the same confused division of mind +between it and the better rooms to which I was going, as I had been in +so often between the forge and Miss Havisham's, and Biddy and Estella. + +The sun had been shining brightly all day on the roof of my attic, and +the room was warm. As I put the window open and stood looking out, I saw +Joe come slowly forth at the dark door, below, and take a turn or two +in the air; and then I saw Biddy come, and bring him a pipe and light +it for him. He never smoked so late, and it seemed to hint to me that he +wanted comforting, for some reason or other. + +He presently stood at the door immediately beneath me, smoking his pipe, +and Biddy stood there too, quietly talking to him, and I knew that they +talked of me, for I heard my name mentioned in an endearing tone by both +of them more than once. I would not have listened for more, if I could +have heard more; so I drew away from the window, and sat down in my one +chair by the bedside, feeling it very sorrowful and strange that this +first night of my bright fortunes should be the loneliest I had ever +known. + +Looking towards the open window, I saw light wreaths from Joe's pipe +floating there, and I fancied it was like a blessing from Joe,--not +obtruded on me or paraded before me, but pervading the air we shared +together. I put my light out, and crept into bed; and it was an uneasy +bed now, and I never slept the old sound sleep in it any more. + + + + +Chapter XIX + +Morning made a considerable difference in my general prospect of Life, +and brightened it so much that it scarcely seemed the same. What lay +heaviest on my mind was, the consideration that six days intervened +between me and the day of departure; for I could not divest myself of +a misgiving that something might happen to London in the meanwhile, and +that, when I got there, it would be either greatly deteriorated or clean +gone. + +Joe and Biddy were very sympathetic and pleasant when I spoke of our +approaching separation; but they only referred to it when I did. After +breakfast, Joe brought out my indentures from the press in the best +parlor, and we put them in the fire, and I felt that I was free. With +all the novelty of my emancipation on me, I went to church with Joe, and +thought perhaps the clergyman wouldn't have read that about the rich man +and the kingdom of Heaven, if he had known all. + +After our early dinner, I strolled out alone, purposing to finish off +the marshes at once, and get them done with. As I passed the church, I +felt (as I had felt during service in the morning) a sublime compassion +for the poor creatures who were destined to go there, Sunday after +Sunday, all their lives through, and to lie obscurely at last among the +low green mounds. I promised myself that I would do something for them +one of these days, and formed a plan in outline for bestowing a +dinner of roast-beef and plum-pudding, a pint of ale, and a gallon of +condescension, upon everybody in the village. + +If I had often thought before, with something allied to shame, of my +companionship with the fugitive whom I had once seen limping among those +graves, what were my thoughts on this Sunday, when the place recalled +the wretch, ragged and shivering, with his felon iron and badge! My +comfort was, that it happened a long time ago, and that he had doubtless +been transported a long way off, and that he was dead to me, and might +be veritably dead into the bargain. + +No more low, wet grounds, no more dikes and sluices, no more of these +grazing cattle,--though they seemed, in their dull manner, to wear a +more respectful air now, and to face round, in order that they +might stare as long as possible at the possessor of such great +expectations,--farewell, monotonous acquaintances of my childhood, +henceforth I was for London and greatness; not for smith's work in +general, and for you! I made my exultant way to the old Battery, and, +lying down there to consider the question whether Miss Havisham intended +me for Estella, fell asleep. + +When I awoke, I was much surprised to find Joe sitting beside me, +smoking his pipe. He greeted me with a cheerful smile on my opening my +eyes, and said,-- + +"As being the last time, Pip, I thought I'd foller." + +"And Joe, I am very glad you did so." + +"Thankee, Pip." + +"You may be sure, dear Joe," I went on, after we had shaken hands, "that +I shall never forget you." + +"No, no, Pip!" said Joe, in a comfortable tone, "I'm sure of that. Ay, +ay, old chap! Bless you, it were only necessary to get it well round in +a man's mind, to be certain on it. But it took a bit of time to get it +well round, the change come so oncommon plump; didn't it?" + +Somehow, I was not best pleased with Joe's being so mightily secure of +me. I should have liked him to have betrayed emotion, or to have said, +"It does you credit, Pip," or something of that sort. Therefore, I made +no remark on Joe's first head; merely saying as to his second, that the +tidings had indeed come suddenly, but that I had always wanted to be a +gentleman, and had often and often speculated on what I would do, if I +were one. + +"Have you though?" said Joe. "Astonishing!" + +"It's a pity now, Joe," said I, "that you did not get on a little more, +when we had our lessons here; isn't it?" + +"Well, I don't know," returned Joe. "I'm so awful dull. I'm only master +of my own trade. It were always a pity as I was so awful dull; but it's +no more of a pity now, than it was--this day twelvemonth--don't you +see?" + +What I had meant was, that when I came into my property and was able to +do something for Joe, it would have been much more agreeable if he +had been better qualified for a rise in station. He was so perfectly +innocent of my meaning, however, that I thought I would mention it to +Biddy in preference. + +So, when we had walked home and had had tea, I took Biddy into our +little garden by the side of the lane, and, after throwing out in a +general way for the elevation of her spirits, that I should never forget +her, said I had a favor to ask of her. + +"And it is, Biddy," said I, "that you will not omit any opportunity of +helping Joe on, a little." + +"How helping him on?" asked Biddy, with a steady sort of glance. + +"Well! Joe is a dear good fellow,--in fact, I think he is the dearest +fellow that ever lived,--but he is rather backward in some things. For +instance, Biddy, in his learning and his manners." + +Although I was looking at Biddy as I spoke, and although she opened her +eyes very wide when I had spoken, she did not look at me. + +"O, his manners! won't his manners do then?" asked Biddy, plucking a +black-currant leaf. + +"My dear Biddy, they do very well here--" + +"O! they do very well here?" interrupted Biddy, looking closely at the +leaf in her hand. + +"Hear me out,--but if I were to remove Joe into a higher sphere, as I +shall hope to remove him when I fully come into my property, they would +hardly do him justice." + +"And don't you think he knows that?" asked Biddy. + +It was such a very provoking question (for it had never in the most +distant manner occurred to me), that I said, snappishly,-- + +"Biddy, what do you mean?" + +Biddy, having rubbed the leaf to pieces between her hands,--and the +smell of a black-currant bush has ever since recalled to me that evening +in the little garden by the side of the lane,--said, "Have you never +considered that he may be proud?" + +"Proud?" I repeated, with disdainful emphasis. + +"O! there are many kinds of pride," said Biddy, looking full at me and +shaking her head; "pride is not all of one kind--" + +"Well? What are you stopping for?" said I. + +"Not all of one kind," resumed Biddy. "He may be too proud to let any +one take him out of a place that he is competent to fill, and fills well +and with respect. To tell you the truth, I think he is; though it sounds +bold in me to say so, for you must know him far better than I do." + +"Now, Biddy," said I, "I am very sorry to see this in you. I did not +expect to see this in you. You are envious, Biddy, and grudging. You +are dissatisfied on account of my rise in fortune, and you can't help +showing it." + +"If you have the heart to think so," returned Biddy, "say so. Say so +over and over again, if you have the heart to think so." + +"If you have the heart to be so, you mean, Biddy," said I, in a virtuous +and superior tone; "don't put it off upon me. I am very sorry to see it, +and it's a--it's a bad side of human nature. I did intend to ask you +to use any little opportunities you might have after I was gone, of +improving dear Joe. But after this I ask you nothing. I am extremely +sorry to see this in you, Biddy," I repeated. "It's a--it's a bad side +of human nature." + +"Whether you scold me or approve of me," returned poor Biddy, "you may +equally depend upon my trying to do all that lies in my power, here, +at all times. And whatever opinion you take away of me, shall make +no difference in my remembrance of you. Yet a gentleman should not be +unjust neither," said Biddy, turning away her head. + +I again warmly repeated that it was a bad side of human nature (in which +sentiment, waiving its application, I have since seen reason to think I +was right), and I walked down the little path away from Biddy, and +Biddy went into the house, and I went out at the garden gate and took a +dejected stroll until supper-time; again feeling it very sorrowful and +strange that this, the second night of my bright fortunes, should be as +lonely and unsatisfactory as the first. + +But, morning once more brightened my view, and I extended my clemency to +Biddy, and we dropped the subject. Putting on the best clothes I had, +I went into town as early as I could hope to find the shops open, +and presented myself before Mr. Trabb, the tailor, who was having his +breakfast in the parlor behind his shop, and who did not think it worth +his while to come out to me, but called me in to him. + +"Well!" said Mr. Trabb, in a hail-fellow-well-met kind of way. "How are +you, and what can I do for you?" + +Mr. Trabb had sliced his hot roll into three feather-beds, and was +slipping butter in between the blankets, and covering it up. He was a +prosperous old bachelor, and his open window looked into a prosperous +little garden and orchard, and there was a prosperous iron safe let into +the wall at the side of his fireplace, and I did not doubt that heaps of +his prosperity were put away in it in bags. + +"Mr. Trabb," said I, "it's an unpleasant thing to have to mention, +because it looks like boasting; but I have come into a handsome +property." + +A change passed over Mr. Trabb. He forgot the butter in bed, got up from +the bedside, and wiped his fingers on the tablecloth, exclaiming, "Lord +bless my soul!" + +"I am going up to my guardian in London," said I, casually drawing some +guineas out of my pocket and looking at them; "and I want a fashionable +suit of clothes to go in. I wish to pay for them," I added--otherwise I +thought he might only pretend to make them, "with ready money." + +"My dear sir," said Mr. Trabb, as he respectfully bent his body, opened +his arms, and took the liberty of touching me on the outside of each +elbow, "don't hurt me by mentioning that. May I venture to congratulate +you? Would you do me the favor of stepping into the shop?" + +Mr. Trabb's boy was the most audacious boy in all that country-side. +When I had entered he was sweeping the shop, and he had sweetened his +labors by sweeping over me. He was still sweeping when I came out into +the shop with Mr. Trabb, and he knocked the broom against all possible +corners and obstacles, to express (as I understood it) equality with any +blacksmith, alive or dead. + +"Hold that noise," said Mr. Trabb, with the greatest sternness, "or I'll +knock your head off!--Do me the favor to be seated, sir. Now, this," +said Mr. Trabb, taking down a roll of cloth, and tiding it out in a +flowing manner over the counter, preparatory to getting his hand under +it to show the gloss, "is a very sweet article. I can recommend it for +your purpose, sir, because it really is extra super. But you shall +see some others. Give me Number Four, you!" (To the boy, and with a +dreadfully severe stare; foreseeing the danger of that miscreant's +brushing me with it, or making some other sign of familiarity.) + +Mr. Trabb never removed his stern eye from the boy until he had +deposited number four on the counter and was at a safe distance again. +Then he commanded him to bring number five, and number eight. "And let +me have none of your tricks here," said Mr. Trabb, "or you shall repent +it, you young scoundrel, the longest day you have to live." + +Mr. Trabb then bent over number four, and in a sort of deferential +confidence recommended it to me as a light article for summer wear, an +article much in vogue among the nobility and gentry, an article that +it would ever be an honor to him to reflect upon a distinguished +fellow-townsman's (if he might claim me for a fellow-townsman) having +worn. "Are you bringing numbers five and eight, you vagabond," said Mr. +Trabb to the boy after that, "or shall I kick you out of the shop and +bring them myself?" + +I selected the materials for a suit, with the assistance of Mr. Trabb's +judgment, and re-entered the parlor to be measured. For although Mr. +Trabb had my measure already, and had previously been quite contented +with it, he said apologetically that it "wouldn't do under existing +circumstances, sir,--wouldn't do at all." So, Mr. Trabb measured and +calculated me in the parlor, as if I were an estate and he the finest +species of surveyor, and gave himself such a world of trouble that +I felt that no suit of clothes could possibly remunerate him for his +pains. When he had at last done and had appointed to send the articles +to Mr. Pumblechook's on the Thursday evening, he said, with his hand +upon the parlor lock, "I know, sir, that London gentlemen cannot be +expected to patronize local work, as a rule; but if you would give me a +turn now and then in the quality of a townsman, I should greatly esteem +it. Good morning, sir, much obliged.--Door!" + +The last word was flung at the boy, who had not the least notion what +it meant. But I saw him collapse as his master rubbed me out with his +hands, and my first decided experience of the stupendous power of money +was, that it had morally laid upon his back Trabb's boy. + +After this memorable event, I went to the hatter's, and the bootmaker's, +and the hosier's, and felt rather like Mother Hubbard's dog whose outfit +required the services of so many trades. I also went to the coach-office +and took my place for seven o'clock on Saturday morning. It was +not necessary to explain everywhere that I had come into a handsome +property; but whenever I said anything to that effect, it followed that +the officiating tradesman ceased to have his attention diverted through +the window by the High Street, and concentrated his mind upon me. When +I had ordered everything I wanted, I directed my steps towards +Pumblechook's, and, as I approached that gentleman's place of business, +I saw him standing at his door. + +He was waiting for me with great impatience. He had been out early with +the chaise-cart, and had called at the forge and heard the news. He had +prepared a collation for me in the Barnwell parlor, and he too ordered +his shopman to "come out of the gangway" as my sacred person passed. + +"My dear friend," said Mr. Pumblechook, taking me by both hands, when +he and I and the collation were alone, "I give you joy of your good +fortune. Well deserved, well deserved!" + +This was coming to the point, and I thought it a sensible way of +expressing himself. + +"To think," said Mr. Pumblechook, after snorting admiration at me for +some moments, "that I should have been the humble instrument of leading +up to this, is a proud reward." + +I begged Mr. Pumblechook to remember that nothing was to be ever said or +hinted, on that point. + +"My dear young friend," said Mr. Pumblechook; "if you will allow me to +call you so--" + +I murmured "Certainly," and Mr. Pumblechook took me by both hands again, +and communicated a movement to his waistcoat, which had an emotional +appearance, though it was rather low down, "My dear young friend, rely +upon my doing my little all in your absence, by keeping the fact before +the mind of Joseph.--Joseph!" said Mr. Pumblechook, in the way of a +compassionate adjuration. "Joseph!! Joseph!!!" Thereupon he shook his +head and tapped it, expressing his sense of deficiency in Joseph. + +"But my dear young friend," said Mr. Pumblechook, "you must be hungry, +you must be exhausted. Be seated. Here is a chicken had round from the +Boar, here is a tongue had round from the Boar, here's one or two little +things had round from the Boar, that I hope you may not despise. But do +I," said Mr. Pumblechook, getting up again the moment after he had sat +down, "see afore me, him as I ever sported with in his times of happy +infancy? And may I--may I--?" + +This May I, meant might he shake hands? I consented, and he was fervent, +and then sat down again. + +"Here is wine," said Mr. Pumblechook. "Let us drink, Thanks to Fortune, +and may she ever pick out her favorites with equal judgment! And yet I +cannot," said Mr. Pumblechook, getting up again, "see afore me One--and +likewise drink to One--without again expressing--May I--may I--?" + +I said he might, and he shook hands with me again, and emptied his glass +and turned it upside down. I did the same; and if I had turned myself +upside down before drinking, the wine could not have gone more direct to +my head. + +Mr. Pumblechook helped me to the liver wing, and to the best slice of +tongue (none of those out-of-the-way No Thoroughfares of Pork now), and +took, comparatively speaking, no care of himself at all. "Ah! poultry, +poultry! You little thought," said Mr. Pumblechook, apostrophizing the +fowl in the dish, "when you was a young fledgling, what was in store for +you. You little thought you was to be refreshment beneath this humble +roof for one as--Call it a weakness, if you will," said Mr. Pumblechook, +getting up again, "but may I? may I--?" + +It began to be unnecessary to repeat the form of saying he might, so +he did it at once. How he ever did it so often without wounding himself +with my knife, I don't know. + +"And your sister," he resumed, after a little steady eating, "which had +the honor of bringing you up by hand! It's a sad picter, to reflect that +she's no longer equal to fully understanding the honor. May--" + +I saw he was about to come at me again, and I stopped him. + +"We'll drink her health," said I. + +"Ah!" cried Mr. Pumblechook, leaning back in his chair, quite flaccid +with admiration, "that's the way you know 'em, sir!" (I don't know +who Sir was, but he certainly was not I, and there was no third person +present); "that's the way you know the noble-minded, sir! Ever forgiving +and ever affable. It might," said the servile Pumblechook, putting down +his untasted glass in a hurry and getting up again, "to a common person, +have the appearance of repeating--but may I--?" + +When he had done it, he resumed his seat and drank to my sister. "Let us +never be blind," said Mr. Pumblechook, "to her faults of temper, but it +is to be hoped she meant well." + +At about this time, I began to observe that he was getting flushed in +the face; as to myself, I felt all face, steeped in wine and smarting. + +I mentioned to Mr. Pumblechook that I wished to have my new clothes +sent to his house, and he was ecstatic on my so distinguishing him. I +mentioned my reason for desiring to avoid observation in the village, +and he lauded it to the skies. There was nobody but himself, he +intimated, worthy of my confidence, and--in short, might he? Then he +asked me tenderly if I remembered our boyish games at sums, and how we +had gone together to have me bound apprentice, and, in effect, how he +had ever been my favorite fancy and my chosen friend? If I had taken +ten times as many glasses of wine as I had, I should have known that he +never had stood in that relation towards me, and should in my heart of +hearts have repudiated the idea. Yet for all that, I remember feeling +convinced that I had been much mistaken in him, and that he was a +sensible, practical, good-hearted prime fellow. + +By degrees he fell to reposing such great confidence in me, as to ask my +advice in reference to his own affairs. He mentioned that there was an +opportunity for a great amalgamation and monopoly of the corn and seed +trade on those premises, if enlarged, such as had never occurred +before in that or any other neighborhood. What alone was wanting to the +realization of a vast fortune, he considered to be More Capital. +Those were the two little words, more capital. Now it appeared to him +(Pumblechook) that if that capital were got into the business, through a +sleeping partner, sir,--which sleeping partner would have nothing to +do but walk in, by self or deputy, whenever he pleased, and examine +the books,--and walk in twice a year and take his profits away in his +pocket, to the tune of fifty per cent,--it appeared to him that that +might be an opening for a young gentleman of spirit combined with +property, which would be worthy of his attention. But what did I think? +He had great confidence in my opinion, and what did I think? I gave it +as my opinion. "Wait a bit!" The united vastness and distinctness of +this view so struck him, that he no longer asked if he might shake hands +with me, but said he really must,--and did. + +We drank all the wine, and Mr. Pumblechook pledged himself over and over +again to keep Joseph up to the mark (I don't know what mark), and to +render me efficient and constant service (I don't know what service). He +also made known to me for the first time in my life, and certainly after +having kept his secret wonderfully well, that he had always said of me, +"That boy is no common boy, and mark me, his fortun' will be no common +fortun'." He said with a tearful smile that it was a singular thing to +think of now, and I said so too. Finally, I went out into the air, with +a dim perception that there was something unwonted in the conduct of the +sunshine, and found that I had slumberously got to the turnpike without +having taken any account of the road. + +There, I was roused by Mr. Pumblechook's hailing me. He was a long way +down the sunny street, and was making expressive gestures for me to +stop. I stopped, and he came up breathless. + +"No, my dear friend," said he, when he had recovered wind for speech. +"Not if I can help it. This occasion shall not entirely pass without +that affability on your part.--May I, as an old friend and well-wisher? +May I?" + +We shook hands for the hundredth time at least, and he ordered a young +carter out of my way with the greatest indignation. Then, he blessed +me and stood waving his hand to me until I had passed the crook in the +road; and then I turned into a field and had a long nap under a hedge +before I pursued my way home. + +I had scant luggage to take with me to London, for little of the little +I possessed was adapted to my new station. But I began packing that same +afternoon, and wildly packed up things that I knew I should want next +morning, in a fiction that there was not a moment to be lost. + +So, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, passed; and on Friday morning I +went to Mr. Pumblechook's, to put on my new clothes and pay my visit to +Miss Havisham. Mr. Pumblechook's own room was given up to me to dress +in, and was decorated with clean towels expressly for the event. My +clothes were rather a disappointment, of course. Probably every new +and eagerly expected garment ever put on since clothes came in, fell +a trifle short of the wearer's expectation. But after I had had my +new suit on some half an hour, and had gone through an immensity of +posturing with Mr. Pumblechook's very limited dressing-glass, in the +futile endeavor to see my legs, it seemed to fit me better. It being +market morning at a neighboring town some ten miles off, Mr. Pumblechook +was not at home. I had not told him exactly when I meant to leave, and +was not likely to shake hands with him again before departing. This was +all as it should be, and I went out in my new array, fearfully ashamed +of having to pass the shopman, and suspicious after all that I was at a +personal disadvantage, something like Joe's in his Sunday suit. + +I went circuitously to Miss Havisham's by all the back ways, and rang +at the bell constrainedly, on account of the stiff long fingers of my +gloves. Sarah Pocket came to the gate, and positively reeled back when +she saw me so changed; her walnut-shell countenance likewise turned from +brown to green and yellow. + +"You?" said she. "You? Good gracious! What do you want?" + +"I am going to London, Miss Pocket," said I, "and want to say good-bye to +Miss Havisham." + +I was not expected, for she left me locked in the yard, while she went +to ask if I were to be admitted. After a very short delay, she returned +and took me up, staring at me all the way. + +Miss Havisham was taking exercise in the room with the long spread +table, leaning on her crutch stick. The room was lighted as of yore, and +at the sound of our entrance, she stopped and turned. She was then just +abreast of the rotted bride-cake. + +"Don't go, Sarah," she said. "Well, Pip?" + +"I start for London, Miss Havisham, to-morrow," I was exceedingly +careful what I said, "and I thought you would kindly not mind my taking +leave of you." + +"This is a gay figure, Pip," said she, making her crutch stick play +round me, as if she, the fairy godmother who had changed me, were +bestowing the finishing gift. + +"I have come into such good fortune since I saw you last, Miss +Havisham," I murmured. "And I am so grateful for it, Miss Havisham!" + +"Ay, ay!" said she, looking at the discomfited and envious Sarah, with +delight. "I have seen Mr. Jaggers. I have heard about it, Pip. So you go +to-morrow?" + +"Yes, Miss Havisham." + +"And you are adopted by a rich person?" + +"Yes, Miss Havisham." + +"Not named?" + +"No, Miss Havisham." + +"And Mr. Jaggers is made your guardian?" + +"Yes, Miss Havisham." + +She quite gloated on these questions and answers, so keen was her +enjoyment of Sarah Pocket's jealous dismay. "Well!" she went on; "you +have a promising career before you. Be good--deserve it--and abide by +Mr. Jaggers's instructions." She looked at me, and looked at Sarah, and +Sarah's countenance wrung out of her watchful face a cruel smile. "Good-bye, +Pip!--you will always keep the name of Pip, you know." + +"Yes, Miss Havisham." + +"Good-bye, Pip!" + +She stretched out her hand, and I went down on my knee and put it to +my lips. I had not considered how I should take leave of her; it came +naturally to me at the moment to do this. She looked at Sarah Pocket +with triumph in her weird eyes, and so I left my fairy godmother, with +both her hands on her crutch stick, standing in the midst of the dimly +lighted room beside the rotten bride-cake that was hidden in cobwebs. + +Sarah Pocket conducted me down, as if I were a ghost who must be seen +out. She could not get over my appearance, and was in the last degree +confounded. I said "Good-bye, Miss Pocket;" but she merely stared, and +did not seem collected enough to know that I had spoken. Clear of the +house, I made the best of my way back to Pumblechook's, took off my new +clothes, made them into a bundle, and went back home in my older dress, +carrying it--to speak the truth--much more at my ease too, though I had +the bundle to carry. + +And now, those six days which were to have run out so slowly, had +run out fast and were gone, and to-morrow looked me in the face more +steadily than I could look at it. As the six evenings had dwindled +away, to five, to four, to three, to two, I had become more and more +appreciative of the society of Joe and Biddy. On this last evening, I +dressed my self out in my new clothes for their delight, and sat in my +splendor until bedtime. We had a hot supper on the occasion, graced by +the inevitable roast fowl, and we had some flip to finish with. We were +all very low, and none the higher for pretending to be in spirits. + +I was to leave our village at five in the morning, carrying my little +hand-portmanteau, and I had told Joe that I wished to walk away all +alone. I am afraid--sore afraid--that this purpose originated in my +sense of the contrast there would be between me and Joe, if we went to +the coach together. I had pretended with myself that there was nothing +of this taint in the arrangement; but when I went up to my little room +on this last night, I felt compelled to admit that it might be so, and +had an impulse upon me to go down again and entreat Joe to walk with me +in the morning. I did not. + +All night there were coaches in my broken sleep, going to wrong places +instead of to London, and having in the traces, now dogs, now cats, now +pigs, now men,--never horses. Fantastic failures of journeys occupied +me until the day dawned and the birds were singing. Then, I got up and +partly dressed, and sat at the window to take a last look out, and in +taking it fell asleep. + +Biddy was astir so early to get my breakfast, that, although I did not +sleep at the window an hour, I smelt the smoke of the kitchen fire when +I started up with a terrible idea that it must be late in the afternoon. +But long after that, and long after I had heard the clinking of the +teacups and was quite ready, I wanted the resolution to go downstairs. +After all, I remained up there, repeatedly unlocking and unstrapping +my small portmanteau and locking and strapping it up again, until Biddy +called to me that I was late. + +It was a hurried breakfast with no taste in it. I got up from the meal, +saying with a sort of briskness, as if it had only just occurred to me, +"Well! I suppose I must be off!" and then I kissed my sister who was +laughing and nodding and shaking in her usual chair, and kissed +Biddy, and threw my arms around Joe's neck. Then I took up my little +portmanteau and walked out. The last I saw of them was, when I presently +heard a scuffle behind me, and looking back, saw Joe throwing an old +shoe after me and Biddy throwing another old shoe. I stopped then, to +wave my hat, and dear old Joe waved his strong right arm above his head, +crying huskily "Hooroar!" and Biddy put her apron to her face. + +I walked away at a good pace, thinking it was easier to go than I had +supposed it would be, and reflecting that it would never have done to +have had an old shoe thrown after the coach, in sight of all the High +Street. I whistled and made nothing of going. But the village was very +peaceful and quiet, and the light mists were solemnly rising, as if to +show me the world, and I had been so innocent and little there, and all +beyond was so unknown and great, that in a moment with a strong heave +and sob I broke into tears. It was by the finger-post at the end of the +village, and I laid my hand upon it, and said, "Good-bye, O my dear, dear +friend!" + +Heaven knows we need never be ashamed of our tears, for they are rain +upon the blinding dust of earth, overlying our hard hearts. I was +better after I had cried than before,--more sorry, more aware of my own +ingratitude, more gentle. If I had cried before, I should have had Joe +with me then. + +So subdued I was by those tears, and by their breaking out again in the +course of the quiet walk, that when I was on the coach, and it was clear +of the town, I deliberated with an aching heart whether I would not get +down when we changed horses and walk back, and have another evening at +home, and a better parting. We changed, and I had not made up my mind, +and still reflected for my comfort that it would be quite practicable to +get down and walk back, when we changed again. And while I was occupied +with these deliberations, I would fancy an exact resemblance to Joe +in some man coming along the road towards us, and my heart would beat +high.--As if he could possibly be there! + +We changed again, and yet again, and it was now too late and too far to +go back, and I went on. And the mists had all solemnly risen now, and +the world lay spread before me. + +This is the end of the first stage of Pip's expectations. + +Chapter XX + +The journey from our town to the metropolis was a journey of about five +hours. It was a little past midday when the four-horse stage-coach by +which I was a passenger, got into the ravel of traffic frayed out about +the Cross Keys, Wood Street, Cheapside, London. + +We Britons had at that time particularly settled that it was treasonable +to doubt our having and our being the best of everything: otherwise, +while I was scared by the immensity of London, I think I might have had +some faint doubts whether it was not rather ugly, crooked, narrow, and +dirty. + +Mr. Jaggers had duly sent me his address; it was, Little Britain, and he +had written after it on his card, "just out of Smithfield, and close by +the coach-office." Nevertheless, a hackney-coachman, who seemed to have +as many capes to his greasy great-coat as he was years old, packed me +up in his coach and hemmed me in with a folding and jingling barrier of +steps, as if he were going to take me fifty miles. His getting on his +box, which I remember to have been decorated with an old weather-stained +pea-green hammercloth moth-eaten into rags, was quite a work of time. +It was a wonderful equipage, with six great coronets outside, and ragged +things behind for I don't know how many footmen to hold on by, and +a harrow below them, to prevent amateur footmen from yielding to the +temptation. + +I had scarcely had time to enjoy the coach and to think how like a +straw-yard it was, and yet how like a rag-shop, and to wonder why +the horses' nose-bags were kept inside, when I observed the coachman +beginning to get down, as if we were going to stop presently. And stop +we presently did, in a gloomy street, at certain offices with an open +door, whereon was painted MR. JAGGERS. + +"How much?" I asked the coachman. + +The coachman answered, "A shilling--unless you wish to make it more." + +I naturally said I had no wish to make it more. + +"Then it must be a shilling," observed the coachman. "I don't want to +get into trouble. I know him!" He darkly closed an eye at Mr. Jaggers's +name, and shook his head. + +When he had got his shilling, and had in course of time completed the +ascent to his box, and had got away (which appeared to relieve his +mind), I went into the front office with my little portmanteau in my +hand and asked, Was Mr. Jaggers at home? + +"He is not," returned the clerk. "He is in Court at present. Am I +addressing Mr. Pip?" + +I signified that he was addressing Mr. Pip. + +"Mr. Jaggers left word, would you wait in his room. He couldn't say how +long he might be, having a case on. But it stands to reason, his time +being valuable, that he won't be longer than he can help." + +With those words, the clerk opened a door, and ushered me into an inner +chamber at the back. Here, we found a gentleman with one eye, in a +velveteen suit and knee-breeches, who wiped his nose with his sleeve on +being interrupted in the perusal of the newspaper. + +"Go and wait outside, Mike," said the clerk. + +I began to say that I hoped I was not interrupting, when the clerk +shoved this gentleman out with as little ceremony as I ever saw used, +and tossing his fur cap out after him, left me alone. + +Mr. Jaggers's room was lighted by a skylight only, and was a most dismal +place; the skylight, eccentrically pitched like a broken head, and the +distorted adjoining houses looking as if they had twisted themselves to +peep down at me through it. There were not so many papers about, as I +should have expected to see; and there were some odd objects about, that +I should not have expected to see,--such as an old rusty pistol, a +sword in a scabbard, several strange-looking boxes and packages, and +two dreadful casts on a shelf, of faces peculiarly swollen, and twitchy +about the nose. Mr. Jaggers's own high-backed chair was of deadly black +horsehair, with rows of brass nails round it, like a coffin; and I +fancied I could see how he leaned back in it, and bit his forefinger at +the clients. The room was but small, and the clients seemed to have had +a habit of backing up against the wall; the wall, especially opposite to +Mr. Jaggers's chair, being greasy with shoulders. I recalled, too, that +the one-eyed gentleman had shuffled forth against the wall when I was +the innocent cause of his being turned out. + +I sat down in the cliental chair placed over against Mr. Jaggers's +chair, and became fascinated by the dismal atmosphere of the place. I +called to mind that the clerk had the same air of knowing something to +everybody else's disadvantage, as his master had. I wondered how many +other clerks there were upstairs, and whether they all claimed to have +the same detrimental mastery of their fellow-creatures. I wondered what +was the history of all the odd litter about the room, and how it came +there. I wondered whether the two swollen faces were of Mr. Jaggers's +family, and, if he were so unfortunate as to have had a pair of such +ill-looking relations, why he stuck them on that dusty perch for the +blacks and flies to settle on, instead of giving them a place at home. +Of course I had no experience of a London summer day, and my spirits may +have been oppressed by the hot exhausted air, and by the dust and grit +that lay thick on everything. But I sat wondering and waiting in Mr. +Jaggers's close room, until I really could not bear the two casts on the +shelf above Mr. Jaggers's chair, and got up and went out. + +When I told the clerk that I would take a turn in the air while I +waited, he advised me to go round the corner and I should come into +Smithfield. So I came into Smithfield; and the shameful place, being all +asmear with filth and fat and blood and foam, seemed to stick to me. So, +I rubbed it off with all possible speed by turning into a street where +I saw the great black dome of Saint Paul's bulging at me from behind a +grim stone building which a bystander said was Newgate Prison. Following +the wall of the jail, I found the roadway covered with straw to deaden +the noise of passing vehicles; and from this, and from the quantity of +people standing about smelling strongly of spirits and beer, I inferred +that the trials were on. + +While I looked about me here, an exceedingly dirty and partially drunk +minister of justice asked me if I would like to step in and hear a +trial or so: informing me that he could give me a front place for half a +crown, whence I should command a full view of the Lord Chief Justice in +his wig and robes,--mentioning that awful personage like waxwork, and +presently offering him at the reduced price of eighteen-pence. As I +declined the proposal on the plea of an appointment, he was so good as +to take me into a yard and show me where the gallows was kept, and also +where people were publicly whipped, and then he showed me the Debtors' +Door, out of which culprits came to be hanged; heightening the interest +of that dreadful portal by giving me to understand that "four on 'em" +would come out at that door the day after to-morrow at eight in the +morning, to be killed in a row. This was horrible, and gave me a +sickening idea of London; the more so as the Lord Chief Justice's +proprietor wore (from his hat down to his boots and up again to his +pocket-handkerchief inclusive) mildewed clothes which had evidently +not belonged to him originally, and which I took it into my head he had +bought cheap of the executioner. Under these circumstances I thought +myself well rid of him for a shilling. + +I dropped into the office to ask if Mr. Jaggers had come in yet, and I +found he had not, and I strolled out again. This time, I made the tour +of Little Britain, and turned into Bartholomew Close; and now I became +aware that other people were waiting about for Mr. Jaggers, as well +as I. There were two men of secret appearance lounging in Bartholomew +Close, and thoughtfully fitting their feet into the cracks of the +pavement as they talked together, one of whom said to the other when +they first passed me, that "Jaggers would do it if it was to be done." +There was a knot of three men and two women standing at a corner, and +one of the women was crying on her dirty shawl, and the other comforted +her by saying, as she pulled her own shawl over her shoulders, "Jaggers +is for him, 'Melia, and what more could you have?" There was a red-eyed +little Jew who came into the Close while I was loitering there, in +company with a second little Jew whom he sent upon an errand; and +while the messenger was gone, I remarked this Jew, who was of a highly +excitable temperament, performing a jig of anxiety under a lamp-post and +accompanying himself, in a kind of frenzy, with the words, "O Jaggerth, +Jaggerth, Jaggerth! all otherth ith Cag-Maggerth, give me Jaggerth!" +These testimonies to the popularity of my guardian made a deep +impression on me, and I admired and wondered more than ever. + +At length, as I was looking out at the iron gate of Bartholomew Close +into Little Britain, I saw Mr. Jaggers coming across the road towards +me. All the others who were waiting saw him at the same time, and there +was quite a rush at him. Mr. Jaggers, putting a hand on my shoulder +and walking me on at his side without saying anything to me, addressed +himself to his followers. + +First, he took the two secret men. + +"Now, I have nothing to say to you," said Mr. Jaggers, throwing his +finger at them. "I want to know no more than I know. As to the result, +it's a toss-up. I told you from the first it was a toss-up. Have you +paid Wemmick?" + +"We made the money up this morning, sir," said one of the men, +submissively, while the other perused Mr. Jaggers's face. + +"I don't ask you when you made it up, or where, or whether you made it +up at all. Has Wemmick got it?" + +"Yes, sir," said both the men together. + +"Very well; then you may go. Now, I won't have it!" said Mr Jaggers, +waving his hand at them to put them behind him. "If you say a word to +me, I'll throw up the case." + +"We thought, Mr. Jaggers--" one of the men began, pulling off his hat. + +"That's what I told you not to do," said Mr. Jaggers. "You thought! I +think for you; that's enough for you. If I want you, I know where to +find you; I don't want you to find me. Now I won't have it. I won't hear +a word." + +The two men looked at one another as Mr. Jaggers waved them behind +again, and humbly fell back and were heard no more. + +"And now you!" said Mr. Jaggers, suddenly stopping, and turning on +the two women with the shawls, from whom the three men had meekly +separated,--"Oh! Amelia, is it?" + +"Yes, Mr. Jaggers." + +"And do you remember," retorted Mr. Jaggers, "that but for me you +wouldn't be here and couldn't be here?" + +"O yes, sir!" exclaimed both women together. "Lord bless you, sir, well +we knows that!" + +"Then why," said Mr. Jaggers, "do you come here?" + +"My Bill, sir!" the crying woman pleaded. + +"Now, I tell you what!" said Mr. Jaggers. "Once for all. If you don't +know that your Bill's in good hands, I know it. And if you come here +bothering about your Bill, I'll make an example of both your Bill and +you, and let him slip through my fingers. Have you paid Wemmick?" + +"O yes, sir! Every farden." + +"Very well. Then you have done all you have got to do. Say another +word--one single word--and Wemmick shall give you your money back." + +This terrible threat caused the two women to fall off immediately. +No one remained now but the excitable Jew, who had already raised the +skirts of Mr. Jaggers's coat to his lips several times. + +"I don't know this man!" said Mr. Jaggers, in the same devastating +strain: "What does this fellow want?" + +"Ma thear Mithter Jaggerth. Hown brother to Habraham Latharuth?" + +"Who's he?" said Mr. Jaggers. "Let go of my coat." + +The suitor, kissing the hem of the garment again before relinquishing +it, replied, "Habraham Latharuth, on thuthpithion of plate." + +"You're too late," said Mr. Jaggers. "I am over the way." + +"Holy father, Mithter Jaggerth!" cried my excitable acquaintance, +turning white, "don't thay you're again Habraham Latharuth!" + +"I am," said Mr. Jaggers, "and there's an end of it. Get out of the +way." + +"Mithter Jaggerth! Half a moment! My hown cuthen'th gone to Mithter +Wemmick at thith prethent minute, to hoffer him hany termth. Mithter +Jaggerth! Half a quarter of a moment! If you'd have the condethenthun to +be bought off from the t'other thide--at hany thuperior prithe!--money +no object!--Mithter Jaggerth--Mithter--!" + +My guardian threw his supplicant off with supreme indifference, and +left him dancing on the pavement as if it were red hot. Without further +interruption, we reached the front office, where we found the clerk and +the man in velveteen with the fur cap. + +"Here's Mike," said the clerk, getting down from his stool, and +approaching Mr. Jaggers confidentially. + +"Oh!" said Mr. Jaggers, turning to the man, who was pulling a lock of +hair in the middle of his forehead, like the Bull in Cock Robin pulling +at the bell-rope; "your man comes on this afternoon. Well?" + +"Well, Mas'r Jaggers," returned Mike, in the voice of a sufferer from a +constitutional cold; "arter a deal o' trouble, I've found one, sir, as +might do." + +"What is he prepared to swear?" + +"Well, Mas'r Jaggers," said Mike, wiping his nose on his fur cap this +time; "in a general way, anythink." + +Mr. Jaggers suddenly became most irate. "Now, I warned you before," said +he, throwing his forefinger at the terrified client, "that if you ever +presumed to talk in that way here, I'd make an example of you. You +infernal scoundrel, how dare you tell ME that?" + +The client looked scared, but bewildered too, as if he were unconscious +what he had done. + +"Spooney!" said the clerk, in a low voice, giving him a stir with his +elbow. "Soft Head! Need you say it face to face?" + +"Now, I ask you, you blundering booby," said my guardian, very sternly, +"once more and for the last time, what the man you have brought here is +prepared to swear?" + +Mike looked hard at my guardian, as if he were trying to learn a lesson +from his face, and slowly replied, "Ayther to character, or to having +been in his company and never left him all the night in question." + +"Now, be careful. In what station of life is this man?" + +Mike looked at his cap, and looked at the floor, and looked at the +ceiling, and looked at the clerk, and even looked at me, before +beginning to reply in a nervous manner, "We've dressed him up like--" +when my guardian blustered out,-- + +"What? You WILL, will you?" + +("Spooney!" added the clerk again, with another stir.) + +After some helpless casting about, Mike brightened and began again:-- + +"He is dressed like a 'spectable pieman. A sort of a pastry-cook." + +"Is he here?" asked my guardian. + +"I left him," said Mike, "a setting on some doorsteps round the corner." + +"Take him past that window, and let me see him." + +The window indicated was the office window. We all three went to +it, behind the wire blind, and presently saw the client go by in an +accidental manner, with a murderous-looking tall individual, in a short +suit of white linen and a paper cap. This guileless confectioner was not +by any means sober, and had a black eye in the green stage of recovery, +which was painted over. + +"Tell him to take his witness away directly," said my guardian to the +clerk, in extreme disgust, "and ask him what he means by bringing such a +fellow as that." + +My guardian then took me into his own room, and while he lunched, +standing, from a sandwich-box and a pocket-flask of sherry (he seemed to +bully his very sandwich as he ate it), informed me what arrangements he +had made for me. I was to go to "Barnard's Inn," to young Mr. Pocket's +rooms, where a bed had been sent in for my accommodation; I was to +remain with young Mr. Pocket until Monday; on Monday I was to go with +him to his father's house on a visit, that I might try how I liked it. +Also, I was told what my allowance was to be,--it was a very liberal +one,--and had handed to me from one of my guardian's drawers, the cards +of certain tradesmen with whom I was to deal for all kinds of clothes, +and such other things as I could in reason want. "You will find your +credit good, Mr. Pip," said my guardian, whose flask of sherry smelt +like a whole caskful, as he hastily refreshed himself, "but I shall by +this means be able to check your bills, and to pull you up if I find you +outrunning the constable. Of course you'll go wrong somehow, but that's +no fault of mine." + +After I had pondered a little over this encouraging sentiment, I asked +Mr. Jaggers if I could send for a coach? He said it was not worth while, +I was so near my destination; Wemmick should walk round with me, if I +pleased. + +I then found that Wemmick was the clerk in the next room. Another clerk +was rung down from upstairs to take his place while he was out, and I +accompanied him into the street, after shaking hands with my guardian. +We found a new set of people lingering outside, but Wemmick made a way +among them by saying coolly yet decisively, "I tell you it's no use; he +won't have a word to say to one of you;" and we soon got clear of them, +and went on side by side. + + + + +Chapter XXI + +Casting my eyes on Mr. Wemmick as we went along, to see what he was +like in the light of day, I found him to be a dry man, rather short in +stature, with a square wooden face, whose expression seemed to have been +imperfectly chipped out with a dull-edged chisel. There were some marks +in it that might have been dimples, if the material had been softer and +the instrument finer, but which, as it was, were only dints. The chisel +had made three or four of these attempts at embellishment over his nose, +but had given them up without an effort to smooth them off. I judged him +to be a bachelor from the frayed condition of his linen, and he appeared +to have sustained a good many bereavements; for he wore at least four +mourning rings, besides a brooch representing a lady and a weeping +willow at a tomb with an urn on it. I noticed, too, that several rings +and seals hung at his watch-chain, as if he were quite laden with +remembrances of departed friends. He had glittering eyes,--small, keen, +and black,--and thin wide mottled lips. He had had them, to the best of +my belief, from forty to fifty years. + +"So you were never in London before?" said Mr. Wemmick to me. + +"No," said I. + +"I was new here once," said Mr. Wemmick. "Rum to think of now!" + +"You are well acquainted with it now?" + +"Why, yes," said Mr. Wemmick. "I know the moves of it." + +"Is it a very wicked place?" I asked, more for the sake of saying +something than for information. + +"You may get cheated, robbed, and murdered in London. But there are +plenty of people anywhere, who'll do that for you." + +"If there is bad blood between you and them," said I, to soften it off a +little. + +"O! I don't know about bad blood," returned Mr. Wemmick; "there's not +much bad blood about. They'll do it, if there's anything to be got by +it." + +"That makes it worse." + +"You think so?" returned Mr. Wemmick. "Much about the same, I should +say." + +He wore his hat on the back of his head, and looked straight before him: +walking in a self-contained way as if there were nothing in the streets +to claim his attention. His mouth was such a post-office of a mouth +that he had a mechanical appearance of smiling. We had got to the top of +Holborn Hill before I knew that it was merely a mechanical appearance, +and that he was not smiling at all. + +"Do you know where Mr. Matthew Pocket lives?" I asked Mr. Wemmick. + +"Yes," said he, nodding in the direction. "At Hammersmith, west of +London." + +"Is that far?" + +"Well! Say five miles." + +"Do you know him?" + +"Why, you're a regular cross-examiner!" said Mr. Wemmick, looking at me +with an approving air. "Yes, I know him. I know him!" + +There was an air of toleration or depreciation about his utterance of +these words that rather depressed me; and I was still looking sideways +at his block of a face in search of any encouraging note to the text, +when he said here we were at Barnard's Inn. My depression was not +alleviated by the announcement, for, I had supposed that establishment +to be an hotel kept by Mr. Barnard, to which the Blue Boar in our town +was a mere public-house. Whereas I now found Barnard to be a disembodied +spirit, or a fiction, and his inn the dingiest collection of shabby +buildings ever squeezed together in a rank corner as a club for +Tom-cats. + +We entered this haven through a wicket-gate, and were disgorged by an +introductory passage into a melancholy little square that looked to me +like a flat burying-ground. I thought it had the most dismal trees in +it, and the most dismal sparrows, and the most dismal cats, and the most +dismal houses (in number half a dozen or so), that I had ever seen. I +thought the windows of the sets of chambers into which those houses were +divided were in every stage of dilapidated blind and curtain, crippled +flower-pot, cracked glass, dusty decay, and miserable makeshift; while +To Let, To Let, To Let, glared at me from empty rooms, as if no new +wretches ever came there, and the vengeance of the soul of Barnard were +being slowly appeased by the gradual suicide of the present occupants +and their unholy interment under the gravel. A frowzy mourning of soot +and smoke attired this forlorn creation of Barnard, and it had strewn +ashes on its head, and was undergoing penance and humiliation as a mere +dust-hole. Thus far my sense of sight; while dry rot and wet rot and all +the silent rots that rot in neglected roof and cellar,--rot of rat +and mouse and bug and coaching-stables near at hand besides--addressed +themselves faintly to my sense of smell, and moaned, "Try Barnard's +Mixture." + +So imperfect was this realization of the first of my great expectations, +that I looked in dismay at Mr. Wemmick. "Ah!" said he, mistaking me; +"the retirement reminds you of the country. So it does me." + +He led me into a corner and conducted me up a flight of stairs,--which +appeared to me to be slowly collapsing into sawdust, so that one of +those days the upper lodgers would look out at their doors and find +themselves without the means of coming down,--to a set of chambers on +the top floor. MR. POCKET, JUN., was painted on the door, and there was +a label on the letter-box, "Return shortly." + +"He hardly thought you'd come so soon," Mr. Wemmick explained. "You +don't want me any more?" + +"No, thank you," said I. + +"As I keep the cash," Mr. Wemmick observed, "we shall most likely meet +pretty often. Good day." + +"Good day." + +I put out my hand, and Mr. Wemmick at first looked at it as if he +thought I wanted something. Then he looked at me, and said, correcting +himself,-- + +"To be sure! Yes. You're in the habit of shaking hands?" + +I was rather confused, thinking it must be out of the London fashion, +but said yes. + +"I have got so out of it!" said Mr. Wemmick,--"except at last. Very +glad, I'm sure, to make your acquaintance. Good day!" + +When we had shaken hands and he was gone, I opened the staircase window +and had nearly beheaded myself, for, the lines had rotted away, and it +came down like the guillotine. Happily it was so quick that I had not +put my head out. After this escape, I was content to take a foggy view +of the Inn through the window's encrusting dirt, and to stand dolefully +looking out, saying to myself that London was decidedly overrated. + +Mr. Pocket, Junior's, idea of Shortly was not mine, for I had nearly +maddened myself with looking out for half an hour, and had written +my name with my finger several times in the dirt of every pane in the +window, before I heard footsteps on the stairs. Gradually there arose +before me the hat, head, neckcloth, waistcoat, trousers, boots, of a +member of society of about my own standing. He had a paper-bag under +each arm and a pottle of strawberries in one hand, and was out of +breath. + +"Mr. Pip?" said he. + +"Mr. Pocket?" said I. + +"Dear me!" he exclaimed. "I am extremely sorry; but I knew there was a +coach from your part of the country at midday, and I thought you would +come by that one. The fact is, I have been out on your account,--not +that that is any excuse,--for I thought, coming from the country, you +might like a little fruit after dinner, and I went to Covent Garden +Market to get it good." + +For a reason that I had, I felt as if my eyes would start out of my +head. I acknowledged his attention incoherently, and began to think this +was a dream. + +"Dear me!" said Mr. Pocket, Junior. "This door sticks so!" + +As he was fast making jam of his fruit by wrestling with the door while +the paper-bags were under his arms, I begged him to allow me to hold +them. He relinquished them with an agreeable smile, and combated with +the door as if it were a wild beast. It yielded so suddenly at last, +that he staggered back upon me, and I staggered back upon the opposite +door, and we both laughed. But still I felt as if my eyes must start out +of my head, and as if this must be a dream. + +"Pray come in," said Mr. Pocket, Junior. "Allow me to lead the way. I am +rather bare here, but I hope you'll be able to make out tolerably well +till Monday. My father thought you would get on more agreeably through +to-morrow with me than with him, and might like to take a walk about +London. I am sure I shall be very happy to show London to you. As to our +table, you won't find that bad, I hope, for it will be supplied from our +coffee-house here, and (it is only right I should add) at your expense, +such being Mr. Jaggers's directions. As to our lodging, it's not by +any means splendid, because I have my own bread to earn, and my father +hasn't anything to give me, and I shouldn't be willing to take it, if he +had. This is our sitting-room,--just such chairs and tables and carpet +and so forth, you see, as they could spare from home. You mustn't give +me credit for the tablecloth and spoons and castors, because they come +for you from the coffee-house. This is my little bedroom; rather musty, +but Barnard's is musty. This is your bedroom; the furniture's hired for +the occasion, but I trust it will answer the purpose; if you should want +anything, I'll go and fetch it. The chambers are retired, and we shall +be alone together, but we shan't fight, I dare say. But dear me, I beg +your pardon, you're holding the fruit all this time. Pray let me take +these bags from you. I am quite ashamed." + +As I stood opposite to Mr. Pocket, Junior, delivering him the bags, One, +Two, I saw the starting appearance come into his own eyes that I knew to +be in mine, and he said, falling back,-- + +"Lord bless me, you're the prowling boy!" + +"And you," said I, "are the pale young gentleman!" + + + + +Chapter XXII + +The pale young gentleman and I stood contemplating one another in +Barnard's Inn, until we both burst out laughing. "The idea of its +being you!" said he. "The idea of its being you!" said I. And then we +contemplated one another afresh, and laughed again. "Well!" said the +pale young gentleman, reaching out his hand good-humoredly, "it's all +over now, I hope, and it will be magnanimous in you if you'll forgive me +for having knocked you about so." + +I derived from this speech that Mr. Herbert Pocket (for Herbert was the +pale young gentleman's name) still rather confounded his intention with +his execution. But I made a modest reply, and we shook hands warmly. + +"You hadn't come into your good fortune at that time?" said Herbert +Pocket. + +"No," said I. + +"No," he acquiesced: "I heard it had happened very lately. I was rather +on the lookout for good fortune then." + +"Indeed?" + +"Yes. Miss Havisham had sent for me, to see if she could take a fancy to +me. But she couldn't,--at all events, she didn't." + +I thought it polite to remark that I was surprised to hear that. + +"Bad taste," said Herbert, laughing, "but a fact. Yes, she had sent for +me on a trial visit, and if I had come out of it successfully, I +suppose I should have been provided for; perhaps I should have been +what-you-may-called it to Estella." + +"What's that?" I asked, with sudden gravity. + +He was arranging his fruit in plates while we talked, which divided his +attention, and was the cause of his having made this lapse of a word. +"Affianced," he explained, still busy with the fruit. "Betrothed. +Engaged. What's-his-named. Any word of that sort." + +"How did you bear your disappointment?" I asked. + +"Pooh!" said he, "I didn't care much for it. She's a Tartar." + +"Miss Havisham?" + +"I don't say no to that, but I meant Estella. That girl's hard and +haughty and capricious to the last degree, and has been brought up by +Miss Havisham to wreak revenge on all the male sex." + +"What relation is she to Miss Havisham?" + +"None," said he. "Only adopted." + +"Why should she wreak revenge on all the male sex? What revenge?" + +"Lord, Mr. Pip!" said he. "Don't you know?" + +"No," said I. + +"Dear me! It's quite a story, and shall be saved till dinner-time. And +now let me take the liberty of asking you a question. How did you come +there, that day?" + +I told him, and he was attentive until I had finished, and then burst +out laughing again, and asked me if I was sore afterwards? I didn't +ask him if he was, for my conviction on that point was perfectly +established. + +"Mr. Jaggers is your guardian, I understand?" he went on. + +"Yes." + +"You know he is Miss Havisham's man of business and solicitor, and has +her confidence when nobody else has?" + +This was bringing me (I felt) towards dangerous ground. I answered with +a constraint I made no attempt to disguise, that I had seen Mr. Jaggers +in Miss Havisham's house on the very day of our combat, but never at any +other time, and that I believed he had no recollection of having ever +seen me there. + +"He was so obliging as to suggest my father for your tutor, and he +called on my father to propose it. Of course he knew about my father +from his connection with Miss Havisham. My father is Miss Havisham's +cousin; not that that implies familiar intercourse between them, for he +is a bad courtier and will not propitiate her." + +Herbert Pocket had a frank and easy way with him that was very taking. +I had never seen any one then, and I have never seen any one since, +who more strongly expressed to me, in every look and tone, a natural +incapacity to do anything secret and mean. There was something +wonderfully hopeful about his general air, and something that at the +same time whispered to me he would never be very successful or rich. I +don't know how this was. I became imbued with the notion on that first +occasion before we sat down to dinner, but I cannot define by what +means. + +He was still a pale young gentleman, and had a certain conquered languor +about him in the midst of his spirits and briskness, that did not seem +indicative of natural strength. He had not a handsome face, but it was +better than handsome: being extremely amiable and cheerful. His figure +was a little ungainly, as in the days when my knuckles had taken such +liberties with it, but it looked as if it would always be light and +young. Whether Mr. Trabb's local work would have sat more gracefully on +him than on me, may be a question; but I am conscious that he carried +off his rather old clothes much better than I carried off my new suit. + +As he was so communicative, I felt that reserve on my part would be a +bad return unsuited to our years. I therefore told him my small story, +and laid stress on my being forbidden to inquire who my benefactor was. +I further mentioned that as I had been brought up a blacksmith in a +country place, and knew very little of the ways of politeness, I would +take it as a great kindness in him if he would give me a hint whenever +he saw me at a loss or going wrong. + +"With pleasure," said he, "though I venture to prophesy that you'll want +very few hints. I dare say we shall be often together, and I should like +to banish any needless restraint between us. Will you do me the favour +to begin at once to call me by my Christian name, Herbert?" + +I thanked him and said I would. I informed him in exchange that my +Christian name was Philip. + +"I don't take to Philip," said he, smiling, "for it sounds like a moral +boy out of the spelling-book, who was so lazy that he fell into a pond, +or so fat that he couldn't see out of his eyes, or so avaricious that +he locked up his cake till the mice ate it, or so determined to go a +bird's-nesting that he got himself eaten by bears who lived handy in the +neighborhood. I tell you what I should like. We are so harmonious, and +you have been a blacksmith,---would you mind it?" + +"I shouldn't mind anything that you propose," I answered, "but I don't +understand you." + +"Would you mind Handel for a familiar name? There's a charming piece of +music by Handel, called the Harmonious Blacksmith." + +"I should like it very much." + +"Then, my dear Handel," said he, turning round as the door opened, +"here is the dinner, and I must beg of you to take the top of the table, +because the dinner is of your providing." + +This I would not hear of, so he took the top, and I faced him. It was a +nice little dinner,--seemed to me then a very Lord Mayor's Feast,--and +it acquired additional relish from being eaten under those independent +circumstances, with no old people by, and with London all around us. +This again was heightened by a certain gypsy character that set the +banquet off; for while the table was, as Mr. Pumblechook might have +said, the lap of luxury,--being entirely furnished forth from the +coffee-house,--the circumjacent region of sitting-room was of a +comparatively pastureless and shifty character; imposing on the waiter +the wandering habits of putting the covers on the floor (where he +fell over them), the melted butter in the arm-chair, the bread on the +bookshelves, the cheese in the coal-scuttle, and the boiled fowl into my +bed in the next room,--where I found much of its parsley and butter in +a state of congelation when I retired for the night. All this made the +feast delightful, and when the waiter was not there to watch me, my +pleasure was without alloy. + +We had made some progress in the dinner, when I reminded Herbert of his +promise to tell me about Miss Havisham. + +"True," he replied. "I'll redeem it at once. Let me introduce the topic, +Handel, by mentioning that in London it is not the custom to put the +knife in the mouth,--for fear of accidents,--and that while the fork is +reserved for that use, it is not put further in than necessary. It is +scarcely worth mentioning, only it's as well to do as other people do. +Also, the spoon is not generally used over-hand, but under. This has +two advantages. You get at your mouth better (which after all is the +object), and you save a good deal of the attitude of opening oysters, on +the part of the right elbow." + +He offered these friendly suggestions in such a lively way, that we both +laughed and I scarcely blushed. + +"Now," he pursued, "concerning Miss Havisham. Miss Havisham, you must +know, was a spoilt child. Her mother died when she was a baby, and her +father denied her nothing. Her father was a country gentleman down in +your part of the world, and was a brewer. I don't know why it should +be a crack thing to be a brewer; but it is indisputable that while you +cannot possibly be genteel and bake, you may be as genteel as never was +and brew. You see it every day." + +"Yet a gentleman may not keep a public-house; may he?" said I. + +"Not on any account," returned Herbert; "but a public-house may keep a +gentleman. Well! Mr. Havisham was very rich and very proud. So was his +daughter." + +"Miss Havisham was an only child?" I hazarded. + +"Stop a moment, I am coming to that. No, she was not an only child; +she had a half-brother. Her father privately married again--his cook, I +rather think." + +"I thought he was proud," said I. + +"My good Handel, so he was. He married his second wife privately, +because he was proud, and in course of time she died. When she was dead, +I apprehend he first told his daughter what he had done, and then +the son became a part of the family, residing in the house you are +acquainted with. As the son grew a young man, he turned out riotous, +extravagant, undutiful,--altogether bad. At last his father disinherited +him; but he softened when he was dying, and left him well off, though +not nearly so well off as Miss Havisham.--Take another glass of wine, +and excuse my mentioning that society as a body does not expect one +to be so strictly conscientious in emptying one's glass, as to turn it +bottom upwards with the rim on one's nose." + +I had been doing this, in an excess of attention to his recital. I +thanked him, and apologized. He said, "Not at all," and resumed. + +"Miss Havisham was now an heiress, and you may suppose was looked after +as a great match. Her half-brother had now ample means again, but what +with debts and what with new madness wasted them most fearfully again. +There were stronger differences between him and her than there had been +between him and his father, and it is suspected that he cherished a deep +and mortal grudge against her as having influenced the father's anger. +Now, I come to the cruel part of the story,--merely breaking off, my +dear Handel, to remark that a dinner-napkin will not go into a tumbler." + +Why I was trying to pack mine into my tumbler, I am wholly unable to +say. I only know that I found myself, with a perseverance worthy of a +much better cause, making the most strenuous exertions to compress it +within those limits. Again I thanked him and apologized, and again he +said in the cheerfullest manner, "Not at all, I am sure!" and resumed. + +"There appeared upon the scene--say at the races, or the public +balls, or anywhere else you like--a certain man, who made love to Miss +Havisham. I never saw him (for this happened five-and-twenty years ago, +before you and I were, Handel), but I have heard my father mention that +he was a showy man, and the kind of man for the purpose. But that he was +not to be, without ignorance or prejudice, mistaken for a gentleman, my +father most strongly asseverates; because it is a principle of his that +no man who was not a true gentleman at heart ever was, since the world +began, a true gentleman in manner. He says, no varnish can hide the +grain of the wood; and that the more varnish you put on, the more the +grain will express itself. Well! This man pursued Miss Havisham closely, +and professed to be devoted to her. I believe she had not shown much +susceptibility up to that time; but all the susceptibility she possessed +certainly came out then, and she passionately loved him. There is no +doubt that she perfectly idolized him. He practised on her affection in +that systematic way, that he got great sums of money from her, and he +induced her to buy her brother out of a share in the brewery (which had +been weakly left him by his father) at an immense price, on the plea +that when he was her husband he must hold and manage it all. Your +guardian was not at that time in Miss Havisham's counsels, and she was +too haughty and too much in love to be advised by any one. Her relations +were poor and scheming, with the exception of my father; he was poor +enough, but not time-serving or jealous. The only independent one among +them, he warned her that she was doing too much for this man, and +was placing herself too unreservedly in his power. She took the first +opportunity of angrily ordering my father out of the house, in his +presence, and my father has never seen her since." + +I thought of her having said, "Matthew will come and see me at last when +I am laid dead upon that table;" and I asked Herbert whether his father +was so inveterate against her? + +"It's not that," said he, "but she charged him, in the presence of her +intended husband, with being disappointed in the hope of fawning upon +her for his own advancement, and, if he were to go to her now, it would +look true--even to him--and even to her. To return to the man and make +an end of him. The marriage day was fixed, the wedding dresses were +bought, the wedding tour was planned out, the wedding guests were +invited. The day came, but not the bridegroom. He wrote her a letter--" + +"Which she received," I struck in, "when she was dressing for her +marriage? At twenty minutes to nine?" + +"At the hour and minute," said Herbert, nodding, "at which she +afterwards stopped all the clocks. What was in it, further than that +it most heartlessly broke the marriage off, I can't tell you, because I +don't know. When she recovered from a bad illness that she had, she +laid the whole place waste, as you have seen it, and she has never since +looked upon the light of day." + +"Is that all the story?" I asked, after considering it. + +"All I know of it; and indeed I only know so much, through piecing it +out for myself; for my father always avoids it, and, even when Miss +Havisham invited me to go there, told me no more of it than it was +absolutely requisite I should understand. But I have forgotten one +thing. It has been supposed that the man to whom she gave her misplaced +confidence acted throughout in concert with her half-brother; that it +was a conspiracy between them; and that they shared the profits." + +"I wonder he didn't marry her and get all the property," said I. + +"He may have been married already, and her cruel mortification may have +been a part of her half-brother's scheme," said Herbert. "Mind! I don't +know that." + +"What became of the two men?" I asked, after again considering the +subject. + +"They fell into deeper shame and degradation--if there can be +deeper--and ruin." + +"Are they alive now?" + +"I don't know." + +"You said just now that Estella was not related to Miss Havisham, but +adopted. When adopted?" + +Herbert shrugged his shoulders. "There has always been an Estella, since +I have heard of a Miss Havisham. I know no more. And now, Handel," said +he, finally throwing off the story as it were, "there is a perfectly +open understanding between us. All that I know about Miss Havisham, you +know." + +"And all that I know," I retorted, "you know." + +"I fully believe it. So there can be no competition or perplexity +between you and me. And as to the condition on which you hold your +advancement in life,--namely, that you are not to inquire or discuss to +whom you owe it,--you may be very sure that it will never be encroached +upon, or even approached, by me, or by any one belonging to me." + +In truth, he said this with so much delicacy, that I felt the subject +done with, even though I should be under his father's roof for years and +years to come. Yet he said it with so much meaning, too, that I felt +he as perfectly understood Miss Havisham to be my benefactress, as I +understood the fact myself. + +It had not occurred to me before, that he had led up to the theme for +the purpose of clearing it out of our way; but we were so much the +lighter and easier for having broached it, that I now perceived this +to be the case. We were very gay and sociable, and I asked him, in the +course of conversation, what he was? He replied, "A capitalist,--an +Insurer of Ships." I suppose he saw me glancing about the room in search +of some tokens of Shipping, or capital, for he added, "In the City." + +I had grand ideas of the wealth and importance of Insurers of Ships in +the City, and I began to think with awe of having laid a young Insurer +on his back, blackened his enterprising eye, and cut his responsible +head open. But again there came upon me, for my relief, that odd +impression that Herbert Pocket would never be very successful or rich. + +"I shall not rest satisfied with merely employing my capital in insuring +ships. I shall buy up some good Life Assurance shares, and cut into the +Direction. I shall also do a little in the mining way. None of these +things will interfere with my chartering a few thousand tons on my own +account. I think I shall trade," said he, leaning back in his chair, "to +the East Indies, for silks, shawls, spices, dyes, drugs, and precious +woods. It's an interesting trade." + +"And the profits are large?" said I. + +"Tremendous!" said he. + +I wavered again, and began to think here were greater expectations than +my own. + +"I think I shall trade, also," said he, putting his thumbs in his +waist-coat pockets, "to the West Indies, for sugar, tobacco, and rum. +Also to Ceylon, specially for elephants' tusks." + +"You will want a good many ships," said I. + +"A perfect fleet," said he. + +Quite overpowered by the magnificence of these transactions, I asked him +where the ships he insured mostly traded to at present? + +"I haven't begun insuring yet," he replied. "I am looking about me." + +Somehow, that pursuit seemed more in keeping with Barnard's Inn. I said +(in a tone of conviction), "Ah-h!" + +"Yes. I am in a counting-house, and looking about me." + +"Is a counting-house profitable?" I asked. + +"To--do you mean to the young fellow who's in it?" he asked, in reply. + +"Yes; to you." + +"Why, n-no; not to me." He said this with the air of one carefully +reckoning up and striking a balance. "Not directly profitable. That is, +it doesn't pay me anything, and I have to--keep myself." + +This certainly had not a profitable appearance, and I shook my head as +if I would imply that it would be difficult to lay by much accumulative +capital from such a source of income. + +"But the thing is," said Herbert Pocket, "that you look about you. +That's the grand thing. You are in a counting-house, you know, and you +look about you." + +It struck me as a singular implication that you couldn't be out of a +counting-house, you know, and look about you; but I silently deferred to +his experience. + +"Then the time comes," said Herbert, "when you see your opening. And you +go in, and you swoop upon it and you make your capital, and then there +you are! When you have once made your capital, you have nothing to do +but employ it." + +This was very like his way of conducting that encounter in the garden; +very like. His manner of bearing his poverty, too, exactly corresponded +to his manner of bearing that defeat. It seemed to me that he took all +blows and buffets now with just the same air as he had taken mine +then. It was evident that he had nothing around him but the simplest +necessaries, for everything that I remarked upon turned out to have been +sent in on my account from the coffee-house or somewhere else. + +Yet, having already made his fortune in his own mind, he was so +unassuming with it that I felt quite grateful to him for not being +puffed up. It was a pleasant addition to his naturally pleasant ways, +and we got on famously. In the evening we went out for a walk in the +streets, and went half-price to the Theatre; and next day we went to +church at Westminster Abbey, and in the afternoon we walked in the +Parks; and I wondered who shod all the horses there, and wished Joe did. + +On a moderate computation, it was many months, that Sunday, since I had +left Joe and Biddy. The space interposed between myself and them partook +of that expansion, and our marshes were any distance off. That I could +have been at our old church in my old church-going clothes, on the very +last Sunday that ever was, seemed a combination of impossibilities, +geographical and social, solar and lunar. Yet in the London streets so +crowded with people and so brilliantly lighted in the dusk of evening, +there were depressing hints of reproaches for that I had put the poor +old kitchen at home so far away; and in the dead of night, the footsteps +of some incapable impostor of a porter mooning about Barnard's Inn, +under pretence of watching it, fell hollow on my heart. + +On the Monday morning at a quarter before nine, Herbert went to +the counting-house to report himself,--to look about him, too, I +suppose,--and I bore him company. He was to come away in an hour or +two to attend me to Hammersmith, and I was to wait about for him. It +appeared to me that the eggs from which young Insurers were hatched were +incubated in dust and heat, like the eggs of ostriches, judging from the +places to which those incipient giants repaired on a Monday morning. Nor +did the counting-house where Herbert assisted, show in my eyes as at +all a good Observatory; being a back second floor up a yard, of a grimy +presence in all particulars, and with a look into another back second +floor, rather than a look out. + +I waited about until it was noon, and I went upon 'Change, and I saw +fluey men sitting there under the bills about shipping, whom I took to +be great merchants, though I couldn't understand why they should all be +out of spirits. When Herbert came, we went and had lunch at a celebrated +house which I then quite venerated, but now believe to have been the +most abject superstition in Europe, and where I could not help noticing, +even then, that there was much more gravy on the tablecloths and knives +and waiters' clothes, than in the steaks. This collation disposed of at +a moderate price (considering the grease, which was not charged for), we +went back to Barnard's Inn and got my little portmanteau, and then took +coach for Hammersmith. We arrived there at two or three o'clock in +the afternoon, and had very little way to walk to Mr. Pocket's house. +Lifting the latch of a gate, we passed direct into a little garden +overlooking the river, where Mr. Pocket's children were playing +about. And unless I deceive myself on a point where my interests or +prepossessions are certainly not concerned, I saw that Mr. and Mrs. +Pocket's children were not growing up or being brought up, but were +tumbling up. + +Mrs. Pocket was sitting on a garden chair under a tree, reading, with +her legs upon another garden chair; and Mrs. Pocket's two nurse-maids +were looking about them while the children played. "Mamma," said +Herbert, "this is young Mr. Pip." Upon which Mrs. Pocket received me +with an appearance of amiable dignity. + +"Master Alick and Miss Jane," cried one of the nurses to two of the +children, "if you go a bouncing up against them bushes you'll fall over +into the river and be drownded, and what'll your pa say then?" + +At the same time this nurse picked up Mrs. Pocket's handkerchief, and +said, "If that don't make six times you've dropped it, Mum!" Upon which +Mrs. Pocket laughed and said, "Thank you, Flopson," and settling herself +in one chair only, resumed her book. Her countenance immediately assumed +a knitted and intent expression as if she had been reading for a week, +but before she could have read half a dozen lines, she fixed her eyes +upon me, and said, "I hope your mamma is quite well?" This unexpected +inquiry put me into such a difficulty that I began saying in the +absurdest way that if there had been any such person I had no doubt she +would have been quite well and would have been very much obliged and +would have sent her compliments, when the nurse came to my rescue. + +"Well!" she cried, picking up the pocket-handkerchief, "if that don't +make seven times! What ARE you a doing of this afternoon, Mum!" Mrs. +Pocket received her property, at first with a look of unutterable +surprise as if she had never seen it before, and then with a laugh of +recognition, and said, "Thank you, Flopson," and forgot me, and went on +reading. + +I found, now I had leisure to count them, that there were no fewer than +six little Pockets present, in various stages of tumbling up. I had +scarcely arrived at the total when a seventh was heard, as in the region +of air, wailing dolefully. + +"If there ain't Baby!" said Flopson, appearing to think it most +surprising. "Make haste up, Millers." + +Millers, who was the other nurse, retired into the house, and by degrees +the child's wailing was hushed and stopped, as if it were a young +ventriloquist with something in its mouth. Mrs. Pocket read all the +time, and I was curious to know what the book could be. + +We were waiting, I supposed, for Mr. Pocket to come out to us; at any +rate we waited there, and so I had an opportunity of observing the +remarkable family phenomenon that whenever any of the children strayed +near Mrs. Pocket in their play, they always tripped themselves up and +tumbled over her,--always very much to her momentary astonishment, and +their own more enduring lamentation. I was at a loss to account for +this surprising circumstance, and could not help giving my mind to +speculations about it, until by and by Millers came down with the baby, +which baby was handed to Flopson, which Flopson was handing it to Mrs. +Pocket, when she too went fairly head foremost over Mrs. Pocket, baby +and all, and was caught by Herbert and myself. + +"Gracious me, Flopson!" said Mrs. Pocket, looking off her book for a +moment, "everybody's tumbling!" + +"Gracious you, indeed, Mum!" returned Flopson, very red in the face; +"what have you got there?" + +"I got here, Flopson?" asked Mrs. Pocket. + +"Why, if it ain't your footstool!" cried Flopson. "And if you keep it +under your skirts like that, who's to help tumbling? Here! Take the +baby, Mum, and give me your book." + +Mrs. Pocket acted on the advice, and inexpertly danced the infant a +little in her lap, while the other children played about it. This had +lasted but a very short time, when Mrs. Pocket issued summary orders +that they were all to be taken into the house for a nap. Thus I made the +second discovery on that first occasion, that the nurture of the little +Pockets consisted of alternately tumbling up and lying down. + +Under these circumstances, when Flopson and Millers had got the children +into the house, like a little flock of sheep, and Mr. Pocket came out +of it to make my acquaintance, I was not much surprised to find that Mr. +Pocket was a gentleman with a rather perplexed expression of face, and +with his very gray hair disordered on his head, as if he didn't quite +see his way to putting anything straight. + + + + +Chapter XXIII + +Mr. Pocket said he was glad to see me, and he hoped I was not sorry to +see him. "For, I really am not," he added, with his son's smile, +"an alarming personage." He was a young-looking man, in spite of +his perplexities and his very gray hair, and his manner seemed quite +natural. I use the word natural, in the sense of its being unaffected; +there was something comic in his distraught way, as though it would have +been downright ludicrous but for his own perception that it was very +near being so. When he had talked with me a little, he said to Mrs. +Pocket, with a rather anxious contraction of his eyebrows, which were +black and handsome, "Belinda, I hope you have welcomed Mr. Pip?" And she +looked up from her book, and said, "Yes." She then smiled upon me in an +absent state of mind, and asked me if I liked the taste of orange-flower +water? As the question had no bearing, near or remote, on any foregone +or subsequent transaction, I consider it to have been thrown out, like +her previous approaches, in general conversational condescension. + +I found out within a few hours, and may mention at once, that Mrs. +Pocket was the only daughter of a certain quite accidental deceased +Knight, who had invented for himself a conviction that his deceased +father would have been made a Baronet but for somebody's determined +opposition arising out of entirely personal motives,--I forget whose, +if I ever knew,--the Sovereign's, the Prime Minister's, the Lord +Chancellor's, the Archbishop of Canterbury's, anybody's,--and had +tacked himself on to the nobles of the earth in right of this quite +supposititious fact. I believe he had been knighted himself for storming +the English grammar at the point of the pen, in a desperate address +engrossed on vellum, on the occasion of the laying of the first stone of +some building or other, and for handing some Royal Personage either the +trowel or the mortar. Be that as it may, he had directed Mrs. Pocket to +be brought up from her cradle as one who in the nature of things +must marry a title, and who was to be guarded from the acquisition of +plebeian domestic knowledge. + +So successful a watch and ward had been established over the young lady +by this judicious parent, that she had grown up highly ornamental, but +perfectly helpless and useless. With her character thus happily formed, +in the first bloom of her youth she had encountered Mr. Pocket: who was +also in the first bloom of youth, and not quite decided whether to mount +to the Woolsack, or to roof himself in with a mitre. As his doing the +one or the other was a mere question of time, he and Mrs. Pocket had +taken Time by the forelock (when, to judge from its length, it would +seem to have wanted cutting), and had married without the knowledge of +the judicious parent. The judicious parent, having nothing to bestow or +withhold but his blessing, had handsomely settled that dower upon them +after a short struggle, and had informed Mr. Pocket that his wife was "a +treasure for a Prince." Mr. Pocket had invested the Prince's treasure +in the ways of the world ever since, and it was supposed to have brought +him in but indifferent interest. Still, Mrs. Pocket was in general the +object of a queer sort of respectful pity, because she had not married +a title; while Mr. Pocket was the object of a queer sort of forgiving +reproach, because he had never got one. + +Mr. Pocket took me into the house and showed me my room: which was a +pleasant one, and so furnished as that I could use it with comfort for +my own private sitting-room. He then knocked at the doors of two other +similar rooms, and introduced me to their occupants, by name Drummle +and Startop. Drummle, an old-looking young man of a heavy order of +architecture, was whistling. Startop, younger in years and appearance, +was reading and holding his head, as if he thought himself in danger of +exploding it with too strong a charge of knowledge. + +Both Mr. and Mrs. Pocket had such a noticeable air of being in somebody +else's hands, that I wondered who really was in possession of the house +and let them live there, until I found this unknown power to be the +servants. It was a smooth way of going on, perhaps, in respect of saving +trouble; but it had the appearance of being expensive, for the servants +felt it a duty they owed to themselves to be nice in their eating and +drinking, and to keep a deal of company downstairs. They allowed a very +liberal table to Mr. and Mrs. Pocket, yet it always appeared to me that +by far the best part of the house to have boarded in would have been +the kitchen,--always supposing the boarder capable of self-defence, for, +before I had been there a week, a neighboring lady with whom the family +were personally unacquainted, wrote in to say that she had seen Millers +slapping the baby. This greatly distressed Mrs. Pocket, who burst into +tears on receiving the note, and said that it was an extraordinary thing +that the neighbors couldn't mind their own business. + +By degrees I learnt, and chiefly from Herbert, that Mr. Pocket had been +educated at Harrow and at Cambridge, where he had distinguished himself; +but that when he had had the happiness of marrying Mrs. Pocket very +early in life, he had impaired his prospects and taken up the calling +of a Grinder. After grinding a number of dull blades,--of whom it was +remarkable that their fathers, when influential, were always going to +help him to preferment, but always forgot to do it when the blades had +left the Grindstone,--he had wearied of that poor work and had come to +London. Here, after gradually failing in loftier hopes, he had "read" +with divers who had lacked opportunities or neglected them, and had +refurbished divers others for special occasions, and had turned his +acquirements to the account of literary compilation and correction, +and on such means, added to some very moderate private resources, still +maintained the house I saw. + +Mr. and Mrs. Pocket had a toady neighbor; a widow lady of that highly +sympathetic nature that she agreed with everybody, blessed everybody, +and shed smiles and tears on everybody, according to circumstances. This +lady's name was Mrs. Coiler, and I had the honor of taking her down to +dinner on the day of my installation. She gave me to understand on the +stairs, that it was a blow to dear Mrs. Pocket that dear Mr. Pocket +should be under the necessity of receiving gentlemen to read with him. +That did not extend to me, she told me in a gush of love and confidence +(at that time, I had known her something less than five minutes); if +they were all like Me, it would be quite another thing. + +"But dear Mrs. Pocket," said Mrs. Coiler, "after her early +disappointment (not that dear Mr. Pocket was to blame in that), requires +so much luxury and elegance--" + +"Yes, ma'am," I said, to stop her, for I was afraid she was going to +cry. + +"And she is of so aristocratic a disposition--" + +"Yes, ma'am," I said again, with the same object as before. + +"--That it is hard," said Mrs. Coiler, "to have dear Mr. Pocket's time +and attention diverted from dear Mrs. Pocket." + +I could not help thinking that it might be harder if the butcher's time +and attention were diverted from dear Mrs. Pocket; but I said nothing, +and indeed had enough to do in keeping a bashful watch upon my company +manners. + +It came to my knowledge, through what passed between Mrs. Pocket and +Drummle while I was attentive to my knife and fork, spoon, glasses, and +other instruments of self-destruction, that Drummle, whose Christian +name was Bentley, was actually the next heir but one to a baronetcy. +It further appeared that the book I had seen Mrs. Pocket reading in the +garden was all about titles, and that she knew the exact date at which +her grandpapa would have come into the book, if he ever had come at all. +Drummle didn't say much, but in his limited way (he struck me as a sulky +kind of fellow) he spoke as one of the elect, and recognized Mrs. Pocket +as a woman and a sister. No one but themselves and Mrs. Coiler the toady +neighbor showed any interest in this part of the conversation, and it +appeared to me that it was painful to Herbert; but it promised to last +a long time, when the page came in with the announcement of a domestic +affliction. It was, in effect, that the cook had mislaid the beef. To my +unutterable amazement, I now, for the first time, saw Mr. Pocket +relieve his mind by going through a performance that struck me as very +extraordinary, but which made no impression on anybody else, and +with which I soon became as familiar as the rest. He laid down the +carving-knife and fork,--being engaged in carving, at the moment,--put +his two hands into his disturbed hair, and appeared to make an +extraordinary effort to lift himself up by it. When he had done this, +and had not lifted himself up at all, he quietly went on with what he +was about. + +Mrs. Coiler then changed the subject and began to flatter me. I liked +it for a few moments, but she flattered me so very grossly that the +pleasure was soon over. She had a serpentine way of coming close at +me when she pretended to be vitally interested in the friends and +localities I had left, which was altogether snaky and fork-tongued; and +when she made an occasional bounce upon Startop (who said very little to +her), or upon Drummle (who said less), I rather envied them for being on +the opposite side of the table. + +After dinner the children were introduced, and Mrs. Coiler made admiring +comments on their eyes, noses, and legs,--a sagacious way of improving +their minds. There were four little girls, and two little boys, besides +the baby who might have been either, and the baby's next successor who +was as yet neither. They were brought in by Flopson and Millers, much as +though those two non-commissioned officers had been recruiting somewhere +for children and had enlisted these, while Mrs. Pocket looked at the +young Nobles that ought to have been as if she rather thought she had +had the pleasure of inspecting them before, but didn't quite know what +to make of them. + +"Here! Give me your fork, Mum, and take the baby," said Flopson. "Don't +take it that way, or you'll get its head under the table." + +Thus advised, Mrs. Pocket took it the other way, and got its head +upon the table; which was announced to all present by a prodigious +concussion. + +"Dear, dear! Give it me back, Mum," said Flopson; "and Miss Jane, come +and dance to baby, do!" + +One of the little girls, a mere mite who seemed to have prematurely +taken upon herself some charge of the others, stepped out of her place +by me, and danced to and from the baby until it left off crying, and +laughed. Then, all the children laughed, and Mr. Pocket (who in the +meantime had twice endeavored to lift himself up by the hair) laughed, +and we all laughed and were glad. + +Flopson, by dint of doubling the baby at the joints like a Dutch doll, +then got it safely into Mrs. Pocket's lap, and gave it the nut-crackers +to play with; at the same time recommending Mrs. Pocket to take notice +that the handles of that instrument were not likely to agree with its +eyes, and sharply charging Miss Jane to look after the same. Then, the +two nurses left the room, and had a lively scuffle on the staircase with +a dissipated page who had waited at dinner, and who had clearly lost +half his buttons at the gaming-table. + +I was made very uneasy in my mind by Mrs. Pocket's falling into a +discussion with Drummle respecting two baronetcies, while she ate a +sliced orange steeped in sugar and wine, and, forgetting all about the +baby on her lap, who did most appalling things with the nut-crackers. At +length little Jane, perceiving its young brains to be imperilled, softly +left her place, and with many small artifices coaxed the dangerous +weapon away. Mrs. Pocket finishing her orange at about the same time, +and not approving of this, said to Jane,-- + +"You naughty child, how dare you? Go and sit down this instant!" + +"Mamma dear," lisped the little girl, "baby ood have put hith eyeth +out." + +"How dare you tell me so?" retorted Mrs. Pocket. "Go and sit down in +your chair this moment!" + +Mrs. Pocket's dignity was so crushing, that I felt quite abashed, as if +I myself had done something to rouse it. + +"Belinda," remonstrated Mr. Pocket, from the other end of the table, +"how can you be so unreasonable? Jane only interfered for the protection +of baby." + +"I will not allow anybody to interfere," said Mrs. Pocket. "I am +surprised, Matthew, that you should expose me to the affront of +interference." + +"Good God!" cried Mr. Pocket, in an outbreak of desolate desperation. +"Are infants to be nut-crackered into their tombs, and is nobody to save +them?" + +"I will not be interfered with by Jane," said Mrs. Pocket, with a +majestic glance at that innocent little offender. "I hope I know my poor +grandpapa's position. Jane, indeed!" + +Mr. Pocket got his hands in his hair again, and this time really did +lift himself some inches out of his chair. "Hear this!" he helplessly +exclaimed to the elements. "Babies are to be nut-crackered dead, for +people's poor grandpapa's positions!" Then he let himself down again, +and became silent. + +We all looked awkwardly at the tablecloth while this was going on. A +pause succeeded, during which the honest and irrepressible baby made a +series of leaps and crows at little Jane, who appeared to me to be the +only member of the family (irrespective of servants) with whom it had +any decided acquaintance. + +"Mr. Drummle," said Mrs. Pocket, "will you ring for Flopson? Jane, you +undutiful little thing, go and lie down. Now, baby darling, come with +ma!" + +The baby was the soul of honor, and protested with all its might. It +doubled itself up the wrong way over Mrs. Pocket's arm, exhibited a pair +of knitted shoes and dimpled ankles to the company in lieu of its soft +face, and was carried out in the highest state of mutiny. And it gained +its point after all, for I saw it through the window within a few +minutes, being nursed by little Jane. + +It happened that the other five children were left behind at the +dinner-table, through Flopson's having some private engagement, and +their not being anybody else's business. I thus became aware of the +mutual relations between them and Mr. Pocket, which were exemplified in +the following manner. Mr. Pocket, with the normal perplexity of his face +heightened and his hair rumpled, looked at them for some minutes, as if +he couldn't make out how they came to be boarding and lodging in that +establishment, and why they hadn't been billeted by Nature on +somebody else. Then, in a distant Missionary way he asked them certain +questions,--as why little Joe had that hole in his frill, who said, Pa, +Flopson was going to mend it when she had time,--and how little Fanny +came by that whitlow, who said, Pa, Millers was going to poultice it +when she didn't forget. Then, he melted into parental tenderness, and +gave them a shilling apiece and told them to go and play; and then as +they went out, with one very strong effort to lift himself up by the +hair he dismissed the hopeless subject. + +In the evening there was rowing on the river. As Drummle and Startop had +each a boat, I resolved to set up mine, and to cut them both out. I was +pretty good at most exercises in which country boys are adepts, but as +I was conscious of wanting elegance of style for the Thames,--not to say +for other waters,--I at once engaged to place myself under the tuition +of the winner of a prize-wherry who plied at our stairs, and to whom I +was introduced by my new allies. This practical authority confused me +very much by saying I had the arm of a blacksmith. If he could have +known how nearly the compliment lost him his pupil, I doubt if he would +have paid it. + +There was a supper-tray after we got home at night, and I think we +should all have enjoyed ourselves, but for a rather disagreeable +domestic occurrence. Mr. Pocket was in good spirits, when a housemaid +came in, and said, "If you please, sir, I should wish to speak to you." + +"Speak to your master?" said Mrs. Pocket, whose dignity was roused +again. "How can you think of such a thing? Go and speak to Flopson. Or +speak to me--at some other time." + +"Begging your pardon, ma'am," returned the housemaid, "I should wish to +speak at once, and to speak to master." + +Hereupon, Mr. Pocket went out of the room, and we made the best of +ourselves until he came back. + +"This is a pretty thing, Belinda!" said Mr. Pocket, returning with a +countenance expressive of grief and despair. "Here's the cook lying +insensibly drunk on the kitchen floor, with a large bundle of fresh +butter made up in the cupboard ready to sell for grease!" + +Mrs. Pocket instantly showed much amiable emotion, and said, "This is +that odious Sophia's doing!" + +"What do you mean, Belinda?" demanded Mr. Pocket. + +"Sophia has told you," said Mrs. Pocket. "Did I not see her with my own +eyes and hear her with my own ears, come into the room just now and ask +to speak to you?" + +"But has she not taken me downstairs, Belinda," returned Mr. Pocket, +"and shown me the woman, and the bundle too?" + +"And do you defend her, Matthew," said Mrs. Pocket, "for making +mischief?" + +Mr. Pocket uttered a dismal groan. + +"Am I, grandpapa's granddaughter, to be nothing in the house?" said Mrs. +Pocket. "Besides, the cook has always been a very nice respectful woman, +and said in the most natural manner when she came to look after the +situation, that she felt I was born to be a Duchess." + +There was a sofa where Mr. Pocket stood, and he dropped upon it in the +attitude of the Dying Gladiator. Still in that attitude he said, with a +hollow voice, "Good night, Mr. Pip," when I deemed it advisable to go to +bed and leave him. + + + + +Chapter XXIV + +After two or three days, when I had established myself in my room and +had gone backwards and forwards to London several times, and had ordered +all I wanted of my tradesmen, Mr. Pocket and I had a long talk together. +He knew more of my intended career than I knew myself, for he referred +to his having been told by Mr. Jaggers that I was not designed for any +profession, and that I should be well enough educated for my destiny +if I could "hold my own" with the average of young men in prosperous +circumstances. I acquiesced, of course, knowing nothing to the contrary. + +He advised my attending certain places in London, for the acquisition of +such mere rudiments as I wanted, and my investing him with the functions +of explainer and director of all my studies. He hoped that with +intelligent assistance I should meet with little to discourage me, and +should soon be able to dispense with any aid but his. Through his way +of saying this, and much more to similar purpose, he placed himself on +confidential terms with me in an admirable manner; and I may state +at once that he was always so zealous and honorable in fulfilling his +compact with me, that he made me zealous and honorable in fulfilling +mine with him. If he had shown indifference as a master, I have no doubt +I should have returned the compliment as a pupil; he gave me no such +excuse, and each of us did the other justice. Nor did I ever regard +him as having anything ludicrous about him--or anything but what was +serious, honest, and good--in his tutor communication with me. + +When these points were settled, and so far carried out as that I had +begun to work in earnest, it occurred to me that if I could retain my +bedroom in Barnard's Inn, my life would be agreeably varied, while my +manners would be none the worse for Herbert's society. Mr. Pocket did +not object to this arrangement, but urged that before any step could +possibly be taken in it, it must be submitted to my guardian. I felt +that this delicacy arose out of the consideration that the plan would +save Herbert some expense, so I went off to Little Britain and imparted +my wish to Mr. Jaggers. + +"If I could buy the furniture now hired for me," said I, "and one or two +other little things, I should be quite at home there." + +"Go it!" said Mr. Jaggers, with a short laugh. "I told you you'd get on. +Well! How much do you want?" + +I said I didn't know how much. + +"Come!" retorted Mr. Jaggers. "How much? Fifty pounds?" + +"O, not nearly so much." + +"Five pounds?" said Mr. Jaggers. + +This was such a great fall, that I said in discomfiture, "O, more than +that." + +"More than that, eh!" retorted Mr. Jaggers, lying in wait for me, with +his hands in his pockets, his head on one side, and his eyes on the wall +behind me; "how much more?" + +"It is so difficult to fix a sum," said I, hesitating. + +"Come!" said Mr. Jaggers. "Let's get at it. Twice five; will that do? +Three times five; will that do? Four times five; will that do?" + +I said I thought that would do handsomely. + +"Four times five will do handsomely, will it?" said Mr. Jaggers, +knitting his brows. "Now, what do you make of four times five?" + +"What do I make of it?" + +"Ah!" said Mr. Jaggers; "how much?" + +"I suppose you make it twenty pounds," said I, smiling. + +"Never mind what I make it, my friend," observed Mr. Jaggers, with a +knowing and contradictory toss of his head. "I want to know what you +make it." + +"Twenty pounds, of course." + +"Wemmick!" said Mr. Jaggers, opening his office door. "Take Mr. Pip's +written order, and pay him twenty pounds." + +This strongly marked way of doing business made a strongly marked +impression on me, and that not of an agreeable kind. Mr. Jaggers never +laughed; but he wore great bright creaking boots, and, in poising +himself on these boots, with his large head bent down and his eyebrows +joined together, awaiting an answer, he sometimes caused the boots to +creak, as if they laughed in a dry and suspicious way. As he happened +to go out now, and as Wemmick was brisk and talkative, I said to Wemmick +that I hardly knew what to make of Mr. Jaggers's manner. + +"Tell him that, and he'll take it as a compliment," answered Wemmick; +"he don't mean that you should know what to make of it.--Oh!" for +I looked surprised, "it's not personal; it's professional: only +professional." + +Wemmick was at his desk, lunching--and crunching--on a dry hard biscuit; +pieces of which he threw from time to time into his slit of a mouth, as +if he were posting them. + +"Always seems to me," said Wemmick, "as if he had set a man-trap and was +watching it. Suddenly-click--you're caught!" + +Without remarking that man-traps were not among the amenities of life, I +said I supposed he was very skilful? + +"Deep," said Wemmick, "as Australia." Pointing with his pen at the +office floor, to express that Australia was understood, for the purposes +of the figure, to be symmetrically on the opposite spot of the globe. +"If there was anything deeper," added Wemmick, bringing his pen to +paper, "he'd be it." + +Then, I said I supposed he had a fine business, and Wemmick said, +"Ca-pi-tal!" Then I asked if there were many clerks? to which he +replied,-- + +"We don't run much into clerks, because there's only one Jaggers, and +people won't have him at second hand. There are only four of us. Would +you like to see 'em? You are one of us, as I may say." + +I accepted the offer. When Mr. Wemmick had put all the biscuit into the +post, and had paid me my money from a cash-box in a safe, the key +of which safe he kept somewhere down his back and produced from his +coat-collar like an iron-pigtail, we went upstairs. The house was dark +and shabby, and the greasy shoulders that had left their mark in Mr. +Jaggers's room seemed to have been shuffling up and down the staircase +for years. In the front first floor, a clerk who looked something +between a publican and a rat-catcher--a large pale, puffed, swollen +man--was attentively engaged with three or four people of shabby +appearance, whom he treated as unceremoniously as everybody seemed to +be treated who contributed to Mr. Jaggers's coffers. "Getting evidence +together," said Mr. Wemmick, as we came out, "for the Bailey." In the +room over that, a little flabby terrier of a clerk with dangling hair +(his cropping seemed to have been forgotten when he was a puppy) was +similarly engaged with a man with weak eyes, whom Mr. Wemmick presented +to me as a smelter who kept his pot always boiling, and who would melt +me anything I pleased,--and who was in an excessive white-perspiration, +as if he had been trying his art on himself. In a back room, a +high-shouldered man with a face-ache tied up in dirty flannel, who was +dressed in old black clothes that bore the appearance of having been +waxed, was stooping over his work of making fair copies of the notes of +the other two gentlemen, for Mr. Jaggers's own use. + +This was all the establishment. When we went downstairs again, Wemmick +led me into my guardian's room, and said, "This you've seen already." + +"Pray," said I, as the two odious casts with the twitchy leer upon them +caught my sight again, "whose likenesses are those?" + +"These?" said Wemmick, getting upon a chair, and blowing the dust off +the horrible heads before bringing them down. "These are two celebrated +ones. Famous clients of ours that got us a world of credit. This chap +(why you must have come down in the night and been peeping into the +inkstand, to get this blot upon your eyebrow, you old rascal!) murdered +his master, and, considering that he wasn't brought up to evidence, +didn't plan it badly." + +"Is it like him?" I asked, recoiling from the brute, as Wemmick spat +upon his eyebrow and gave it a rub with his sleeve. + +"Like him? It's himself, you know. The cast was made in Newgate, +directly after he was taken down. You had a particular fancy for +me, hadn't you, Old Artful?" said Wemmick. He then explained this +affectionate apostrophe, by touching his brooch representing the lady +and the weeping willow at the tomb with the urn upon it, and saying, +"Had it made for me, express!" + +"Is the lady anybody?" said I. + +"No," returned Wemmick. "Only his game. (You liked your bit of game, +didn't you?) No; deuce a bit of a lady in the case, Mr. Pip, except +one,--and she wasn't of this slender lady-like sort, and you wouldn't +have caught her looking after this urn, unless there was something to +drink in it." Wemmick's attention being thus directed to his brooch, he +put down the cast, and polished the brooch with his pocket-handkerchief. + +"Did that other creature come to the same end?" I asked. "He has the +same look." + +"You're right," said Wemmick; "it's the genuine look. Much as if one +nostril was caught up with a horse-hair and a little fish-hook. Yes, +he came to the same end; quite the natural end here, I assure you. +He forged wills, this blade did, if he didn't also put the supposed +testators to sleep too. You were a gentlemanly Cove, though" (Mr. +Wemmick was again apostrophizing), "and you said you could write Greek. +Yah, Bounceable! What a liar you were! I never met such a liar as you!" +Before putting his late friend on his shelf again, Wemmick touched the +largest of his mourning rings and said, "Sent out to buy it for me, only +the day before." + +While he was putting up the other cast and coming down from the chair, +the thought crossed my mind that all his personal jewelry was derived +from like sources. As he had shown no diffidence on the subject, I +ventured on the liberty of asking him the question, when he stood before +me, dusting his hands. + +"O yes," he returned, "these are all gifts of that kind. One brings +another, you see; that's the way of it. I always take 'em. They're +curiosities. And they're property. They may not be worth much, but, +after all, they're property and portable. It don't signify to you with +your brilliant lookout, but as to myself, my guiding-star always is, +'Get hold of portable property'." + +When I had rendered homage to this light, he went on to say, in a +friendly manner:-- + +"If at any odd time when you have nothing better to do, you wouldn't +mind coming over to see me at Walworth, I could offer you a bed, and I +should consider it an honor. I have not much to show you; but such two +or three curiosities as I have got you might like to look over; and I am +fond of a bit of garden and a summer-house." + +I said I should be delighted to accept his hospitality. + +"Thankee," said he; "then we'll consider that it's to come off, when +convenient to you. Have you dined with Mr. Jaggers yet?" + +"Not yet." + +"Well," said Wemmick, "he'll give you wine, and good wine. I'll give you +punch, and not bad punch. And now I'll tell you something. When you go +to dine with Mr. Jaggers, look at his housekeeper." + +"Shall I see something very uncommon?" + +"Well," said Wemmick, "you'll see a wild beast tamed. Not so very +uncommon, you'll tell me. I reply, that depends on the original wildness +of the beast, and the amount of taming. It won't lower your opinion of +Mr. Jaggers's powers. Keep your eye on it." + +I told him I would do so, with all the interest and curiosity that his +preparation awakened. As I was taking my departure, he asked me if I +would like to devote five minutes to seeing Mr. Jaggers "at it?" + +For several reasons, and not least because I didn't clearly know what +Mr. Jaggers would be found to be "at," I replied in the affirmative. +We dived into the City, and came up in a crowded police-court, where +a blood-relation (in the murderous sense) of the deceased, with the +fanciful taste in brooches, was standing at the bar, uncomfortably +chewing something; while my guardian had a woman under examination or +cross-examination,--I don't know which,--and was striking her, and +the bench, and everybody present, with awe. If anybody, of whatsoever +degree, said a word that he didn't approve of, he instantly required to +have it "taken down." If anybody wouldn't make an admission, he said, +"I'll have it out of you!" and if anybody made an admission, he said, +"Now I have got you!" The magistrates shivered under a single bite of +his finger. Thieves and thief-takers hung in dread rapture on his words, +and shrank when a hair of his eyebrows turned in their direction. Which +side he was on I couldn't make out, for he seemed to me to be grinding +the whole place in a mill; I only know that when I stole out on tiptoe, +he was not on the side of the bench; for, he was making the legs of the +old gentleman who presided, quite convulsive under the table, by his +denunciations of his conduct as the representative of British law and +justice in that chair that day. + + + + +Chapter XXV + +Bentley Drummle, who was so sulky a fellow that he even took up a book +as if its writer had done him an injury, did not take up an +acquaintance in a more agreeable spirit. Heavy in figure, movement, +and comprehension,--in the sluggish complexion of his face, and in +the large, awkward tongue that seemed to loll about in his mouth as +he himself lolled about in a room,--he was idle, proud, niggardly, +reserved, and suspicious. He came of rich people down in Somersetshire, +who had nursed this combination of qualities until they made the +discovery that it was just of age and a blockhead. Thus, Bentley Drummle +had come to Mr. Pocket when he was a head taller than that gentleman, +and half a dozen heads thicker than most gentlemen. + +Startop had been spoilt by a weak mother and kept at home when he +ought to have been at school, but he was devotedly attached to her, and +admired her beyond measure. He had a woman's delicacy of feature, +and was--"as you may see, though you never saw her," said Herbert to +me--"exactly like his mother." It was but natural that I should take to +him much more kindly than to Drummle, and that, even in the earliest +evenings of our boating, he and I should pull homeward abreast of one +another, conversing from boat to boat, while Bentley Drummle came up +in our wake alone, under the overhanging banks and among the rushes. He +would always creep in-shore like some uncomfortable amphibious creature, +even when the tide would have sent him fast upon his way; and I always +think of him as coming after us in the dark or by the back-water, +when our own two boats were breaking the sunset or the moonlight in +mid-stream. + +Herbert was my intimate companion and friend. I presented him with a +half-share in my boat, which was the occasion of his often coming down +to Hammersmith; and my possession of a half-share in his chambers often +took me up to London. We used to walk between the two places at all +hours. I have an affection for the road yet (though it is not so +pleasant a road as it was then), formed in the impressibility of untried +youth and hope. + +When I had been in Mr. Pocket's family a month or two, Mr. and Mrs. +Camilla turned up. Camilla was Mr. Pocket's sister. Georgiana, whom I +had seen at Miss Havisham's on the same occasion, also turned up. She +was a cousin,--an indigestive single woman, who called her rigidity +religion, and her liver love. These people hated me with the hatred of +cupidity and disappointment. As a matter of course, they fawned upon +me in my prosperity with the basest meanness. Towards Mr. Pocket, as +a grown-up infant with no notion of his own interests, they showed the +complacent forbearance I had heard them express. Mrs. Pocket they +held in contempt; but they allowed the poor soul to have been heavily +disappointed in life, because that shed a feeble reflected light upon +themselves. + +These were the surroundings among which I settled down, and applied +myself to my education. I soon contracted expensive habits, and began +to spend an amount of money that within a few short months I should have +thought almost fabulous; but through good and evil I stuck to my books. +There was no other merit in this, than my having sense enough to feel +my deficiencies. Between Mr. Pocket and Herbert I got on fast; and, with +one or the other always at my elbow to give me the start I wanted, and +clear obstructions out of my road, I must have been as great a dolt as +Drummle if I had done less. + +I had not seen Mr. Wemmick for some weeks, when I thought I would write +him a note and propose to go home with him on a certain evening. He +replied that it would give him much pleasure, and that he would expect +me at the office at six o'clock. Thither I went, and there I found him, +putting the key of his safe down his back as the clock struck. + +"Did you think of walking down to Walworth?" said he. + +"Certainly," said I, "if you approve." + +"Very much," was Wemmick's reply, "for I have had my legs under the desk +all day, and shall be glad to stretch them. Now, I'll tell you what I +have got for supper, Mr. Pip. I have got a stewed steak,--which is +of home preparation,--and a cold roast fowl,--which is from the +cook's-shop. I think it's tender, because the master of the shop was a +Juryman in some cases of ours the other day, and we let him down easy. +I reminded him of it when I bought the fowl, and I said, "Pick us out +a good one, old Briton, because if we had chosen to keep you in the box +another day or two, we could easily have done it." He said to that, +"Let me make you a present of the best fowl in the shop." I let him, of +course. As far as it goes, it's property and portable. You don't object +to an aged parent, I hope?" + +I really thought he was still speaking of the fowl, until he added, +"Because I have got an aged parent at my place." I then said what +politeness required. + +"So, you haven't dined with Mr. Jaggers yet?" he pursued, as we walked +along. + +"Not yet." + +"He told me so this afternoon when he heard you were coming. I expect +you'll have an invitation to-morrow. He's going to ask your pals, too. +Three of 'em; ain't there?" + +Although I was not in the habit of counting Drummle as one of my +intimate associates, I answered, "Yes." + +"Well, he's going to ask the whole gang,"--I hardly felt complimented by +the word,--"and whatever he gives you, he'll give you good. Don't look +forward to variety, but you'll have excellence. And there's another rum +thing in his house," proceeded Wemmick, after a moment's pause, as if +the remark followed on the housekeeper understood; "he never lets a door +or window be fastened at night." + +"Is he never robbed?" + +"That's it!" returned Wemmick. "He says, and gives it out publicly, "I +want to see the man who'll rob me." Lord bless you, I have heard him, a +hundred times, if I have heard him once, say to regular cracksmen in our +front office, "You know where I live; now, no bolt is ever drawn there; +why don't you do a stroke of business with me? Come; can't I tempt you?" +Not a man of them, sir, would be bold enough to try it on, for love or +money." + +"They dread him so much?" said I. + +"Dread him," said Wemmick. "I believe you they dread him. Not but what +he's artful, even in his defiance of them. No silver, sir. Britannia +metal, every spoon." + +"So they wouldn't have much," I observed, "even if they--" + +"Ah! But he would have much," said Wemmick, cutting me short, "and they +know it. He'd have their lives, and the lives of scores of 'em. He'd +have all he could get. And it's impossible to say what he couldn't get, +if he gave his mind to it." + +I was falling into meditation on my guardian's greatness, when Wemmick +remarked:-- + +"As to the absence of plate, that's only his natural depth, you know. +A river's its natural depth, and he's his natural depth. Look at his +watch-chain. That's real enough." + +"It's very massive," said I. + +"Massive?" repeated Wemmick. "I think so. And his watch is a gold +repeater, and worth a hundred pound if it's worth a penny. Mr. Pip, +there are about seven hundred thieves in this town who know all about +that watch; there's not a man, a woman, or a child, among them, who +wouldn't identify the smallest link in that chain, and drop it as if it +was red hot, if inveigled into touching it." + +At first with such discourse, and afterwards with conversation of a more +general nature, did Mr. Wemmick and I beguile the time and the road, +until he gave me to understand that we had arrived in the district of +Walworth. + +It appeared to be a collection of back lanes, ditches, and little +gardens, and to present the aspect of a rather dull retirement. +Wemmick's house was a little wooden cottage in the midst of plots of +garden, and the top of it was cut out and painted like a battery mounted +with guns. + +"My own doing," said Wemmick. "Looks pretty; don't it?" + +I highly commended it, I think it was the smallest house I ever saw; +with the queerest gothic windows (by far the greater part of them sham), +and a gothic door almost too small to get in at. + +"That's a real flagstaff, you see," said Wemmick, "and on Sundays I +run up a real flag. Then look here. After I have crossed this bridge, I +hoist it up--so--and cut off the communication." + +The bridge was a plank, and it crossed a chasm about four feet wide +and two deep. But it was very pleasant to see the pride with which he +hoisted it up and made it fast; smiling as he did so, with a relish and +not merely mechanically. + +"At nine o'clock every night, Greenwich time," said Wemmick, "the gun +fires. There he is, you see! And when you hear him go, I think you'll +say he's a Stinger." + +The piece of ordnance referred to, was mounted in a separate fortress, +constructed of lattice-work. It was protected from the weather by an +ingenious little tarpaulin contrivance in the nature of an umbrella. + +"Then, at the back," said Wemmick, "out of sight, so as not to impede +the idea of fortifications,--for it's a principle with me, if you have +an idea, carry it out and keep it up,--I don't know whether that's your +opinion--" + +I said, decidedly. + +"--At the back, there's a pig, and there are fowls and rabbits; then, +I knock together my own little frame, you see, and grow cucumbers; and +you'll judge at supper what sort of a salad I can raise. So, sir," said +Wemmick, smiling again, but seriously too, as he shook his head, "if you +can suppose the little place besieged, it would hold out a devil of a +time in point of provisions." + +Then, he conducted me to a bower about a dozen yards off, but which was +approached by such ingenious twists of path that it took quite a long +time to get at; and in this retreat our glasses were already set forth. +Our punch was cooling in an ornamental lake, on whose margin the bower +was raised. This piece of water (with an island in the middle which +might have been the salad for supper) was of a circular form, and he had +constructed a fountain in it, which, when you set a little mill going +and took a cork out of a pipe, played to that powerful extent that it +made the back of your hand quite wet. + +"I am my own engineer, and my own carpenter, and my own plumber, and +my own gardener, and my own Jack of all Trades," said Wemmick, in +acknowledging my compliments. "Well; it's a good thing, you know. It +brushes the Newgate cobwebs away, and pleases the Aged. You wouldn't +mind being at once introduced to the Aged, would you? It wouldn't put +you out?" + +I expressed the readiness I felt, and we went into the castle. There +we found, sitting by a fire, a very old man in a flannel coat: clean, +cheerful, comfortable, and well cared for, but intensely deaf. + +"Well aged parent," said Wemmick, shaking hands with him in a cordial +and jocose way, "how am you?" + +"All right, John; all right!" replied the old man. + +"Here's Mr. Pip, aged parent," said Wemmick, "and I wish you could hear +his name. Nod away at him, Mr. Pip; that's what he likes. Nod away at +him, if you please, like winking!" + +"This is a fine place of my son's, sir," cried the old man, while I +nodded as hard as I possibly could. "This is a pretty pleasure-ground, +sir. This spot and these beautiful works upon it ought to be kept +together by the Nation, after my son's time, for the people's +enjoyment." + +"You're as proud of it as Punch; ain't you, Aged?" said Wemmick, +contemplating the old man, with his hard face really softened; "there's +a nod for you;" giving him a tremendous one; "there's another for you;" +giving him a still more tremendous one; "you like that, don't you? If +you're not tired, Mr. Pip--though I know it's tiring to strangers--will +you tip him one more? You can't think how it pleases him." + +I tipped him several more, and he was in great spirits. We left him +bestirring himself to feed the fowls, and we sat down to our punch in +the arbor; where Wemmick told me, as he smoked a pipe, that it had taken +him a good many years to bring the property up to its present pitch of +perfection. + +"Is it your own, Mr. Wemmick?" + +"O yes," said Wemmick, "I have got hold of it, a bit at a time. It's a +freehold, by George!" + +"Is it indeed? I hope Mr. Jaggers admires it?" + +"Never seen it," said Wemmick. "Never heard of it. Never seen the Aged. +Never heard of him. No; the office is one thing, and private life is +another. When I go into the office, I leave the Castle behind me, and +when I come into the Castle, I leave the office behind me. If it's not +in any way disagreeable to you, you'll oblige me by doing the same. I +don't wish it professionally spoken about." + +Of course I felt my good faith involved in the observance of his +request. The punch being very nice, we sat there drinking it and +talking, until it was almost nine o'clock. "Getting near gun-fire," said +Wemmick then, as he laid down his pipe; "it's the Aged's treat." + +Proceeding into the Castle again, we found the Aged heating the poker, +with expectant eyes, as a preliminary to the performance of this great +nightly ceremony. Wemmick stood with his watch in his hand until the +moment was come for him to take the red-hot poker from the Aged, and +repair to the battery. He took it, and went out, and presently the +Stinger went off with a Bang that shook the crazy little box of a +cottage as if it must fall to pieces, and made every glass and teacup in +it ring. Upon this, the Aged--who I believe would have been blown out +of his arm-chair but for holding on by the elbows--cried out exultingly, +"He's fired! I heerd him!" and I nodded at the old gentleman until it is +no figure of speech to declare that I absolutely could not see him. + +The interval between that time and supper Wemmick devoted to showing +me his collection of curiosities. They were mostly of a felonious +character; comprising the pen with which a celebrated forgery had been +committed, a distinguished razor or two, some locks of hair, and several +manuscript confessions written under condemnation,--upon which Mr. +Wemmick set particular value as being, to use his own words, "every one +of 'em Lies, sir." These were agreeably dispersed among small specimens +of china and glass, various neat trifles made by the proprietor of the +museum, and some tobacco-stoppers carved by the Aged. They were all +displayed in that chamber of the Castle into which I had been first +inducted, and which served, not only as the general sitting-room but +as the kitchen too, if I might judge from a saucepan on the hob, and +a brazen bijou over the fireplace designed for the suspension of a +roasting-jack. + +There was a neat little girl in attendance, who looked after the Aged in +the day. When she had laid the supper-cloth, the bridge was lowered to +give her means of egress, and she withdrew for the night. The supper was +excellent; and though the Castle was rather subject to dry-rot insomuch +that it tasted like a bad nut, and though the pig might have been +farther off, I was heartily pleased with my whole entertainment. Nor was +there any drawback on my little turret bedroom, beyond there being such +a very thin ceiling between me and the flagstaff, that when I lay down +on my back in bed, it seemed as if I had to balance that pole on my +forehead all night. + +Wemmick was up early in the morning, and I am afraid I heard him +cleaning my boots. After that, he fell to gardening, and I saw him from +my gothic window pretending to employ the Aged, and nodding at him in +a most devoted manner. Our breakfast was as good as the supper, and at +half-past eight precisely we started for Little Britain. By degrees, +Wemmick got dryer and harder as we went along, and his mouth tightened +into a post-office again. At last, when we got to his place of business +and he pulled out his key from his coat-collar, he looked as unconscious +of his Walworth property as if the Castle and the drawbridge and the +arbor and the lake and the fountain and the Aged, had all been blown +into space together by the last discharge of the Stinger. + + + + +Chapter XXVI + +It fell out as Wemmick had told me it would, that I had an early +opportunity of comparing my guardian's establishment with that of his +cashier and clerk. My guardian was in his room, washing his hands with +his scented soap, when I went into the office from Walworth; and he +called me to him, and gave me the invitation for myself and friends +which Wemmick had prepared me to receive. "No ceremony," he stipulated, +"and no dinner dress, and say to-morrow." I asked him where we should +come to (for I had no idea where he lived), and I believe it was in his +general objection to make anything like an admission, that he replied, +"Come here, and I'll take you home with me." I embrace this opportunity +of remarking that he washed his clients off, as if he were a surgeon or +a dentist. He had a closet in his room, fitted up for the purpose, which +smelt of the scented soap like a perfumer's shop. It had an unusually +large jack-towel on a roller inside the door, and he would wash his +hands, and wipe them and dry them all over this towel, whenever he came +in from a police court or dismissed a client from his room. When I and +my friends repaired to him at six o'clock next day, he seemed to have +been engaged on a case of a darker complexion than usual, for we found +him with his head butted into this closet, not only washing his hands, +but laving his face and gargling his throat. And even when he had +done all that, and had gone all round the jack-towel, he took out his +penknife and scraped the case out of his nails before he put his coat +on. + +There were some people slinking about as usual when we passed out into +the street, who were evidently anxious to speak with him; but there was +something so conclusive in the halo of scented soap which encircled +his presence, that they gave it up for that day. As we walked along +westward, he was recognized ever and again by some face in the crowd of +the streets, and whenever that happened he talked louder to me; but +he never otherwise recognized anybody, or took notice that anybody +recognized him. + +He conducted us to Gerrard Street, Soho, to a house on the south side of +that street. Rather a stately house of its kind, but dolefully in want +of painting, and with dirty windows. He took out his key and opened the +door, and we all went into a stone hall, bare, gloomy, and little used. +So, up a dark brown staircase into a series of three dark brown rooms on +the first floor. There were carved garlands on the panelled walls, and +as he stood among them giving us welcome, I know what kind of loops I +thought they looked like. + +Dinner was laid in the best of these rooms; the second was his +dressing-room; the third, his bedroom. He told us that he held the whole +house, but rarely used more of it than we saw. The table was comfortably +laid--no silver in the service, of course--and at the side of his chair +was a capacious dumb-waiter, with a variety of bottles and decanters on +it, and four dishes of fruit for dessert. I noticed throughout, that he +kept everything under his own hand, and distributed everything himself. + +There was a bookcase in the room; I saw from the backs of the books, +that they were about evidence, criminal law, criminal biography, trials, +acts of Parliament, and such things. The furniture was all very solid +and good, like his watch-chain. It had an official look, however, and +there was nothing merely ornamental to be seen. In a corner was a little +table of papers with a shaded lamp: so that he seemed to bring the +office home with him in that respect too, and to wheel it out of an +evening and fall to work. + +As he had scarcely seen my three companions until now,--for he and I had +walked together,--he stood on the hearth-rug, after ringing the bell, +and took a searching look at them. To my surprise, he seemed at once to +be principally if not solely interested in Drummle. + +"Pip," said he, putting his large hand on my shoulder and moving me to +the window, "I don't know one from the other. Who's the Spider?" + +"The spider?" said I. + +"The blotchy, sprawly, sulky fellow." + +"That's Bentley Drummle," I replied; "the one with the delicate face is +Startop." + +Not making the least account of "the one with the delicate face," he +returned, "Bentley Drummle is his name, is it? I like the look of that +fellow." + +He immediately began to talk to Drummle: not at all deterred by his +replying in his heavy reticent way, but apparently led on by it to screw +discourse out of him. I was looking at the two, when there came between +me and them the housekeeper, with the first dish for the table. + +She was a woman of about forty, I supposed,--but I may have thought her +younger than she was. Rather tall, of a lithe nimble figure, extremely +pale, with large faded eyes, and a quantity of streaming hair. I cannot +say whether any diseased affection of the heart caused her lips to be +parted as if she were panting, and her face to bear a curious expression +of suddenness and flutter; but I know that I had been to see Macbeth at +the theatre, a night or two before, and that her face looked to me as if +it were all disturbed by fiery air, like the faces I had seen rise out +of the Witches' caldron. + +She set the dish on, touched my guardian quietly on the arm with a +finger to notify that dinner was ready, and vanished. We took our seats +at the round table, and my guardian kept Drummle on one side of him, +while Startop sat on the other. It was a noble dish of fish that the +housekeeper had put on table, and we had a joint of equally choice +mutton afterwards, and then an equally choice bird. Sauces, wines, all +the accessories we wanted, and all of the best, were given out by our +host from his dumb-waiter; and when they had made the circuit of the +table, he always put them back again. Similarly, he dealt us clean +plates and knives and forks, for each course, and dropped those just +disused into two baskets on the ground by his chair. No other attendant +than the housekeeper appeared. She set on every dish; and I always saw +in her face, a face rising out of the caldron. Years afterwards, I made +a dreadful likeness of that woman, by causing a face that had no other +natural resemblance to it than it derived from flowing hair to pass +behind a bowl of flaming spirits in a dark room. + +Induced to take particular notice of the housekeeper, both by her +own striking appearance and by Wemmick's preparation, I observed +that whenever she was in the room she kept her eyes attentively on my +guardian, and that she would remove her hands from any dish she put +before him, hesitatingly, as if she dreaded his calling her back, and +wanted him to speak when she was nigh, if he had anything to say. I +fancied that I could detect in his manner a consciousness of this, and a +purpose of always holding her in suspense. + +Dinner went off gayly, and although my guardian seemed to follow rather +than originate subjects, I knew that he wrenched the weakest part of +our dispositions out of us. For myself, I found that I was expressing my +tendency to lavish expenditure, and to patronize Herbert, and to boast +of my great prospects, before I quite knew that I had opened my lips. +It was so with all of us, but with no one more than Drummle: the +development of whose inclination to gird in a grudging and suspicious +way at the rest, was screwed out of him before the fish was taken off. + +It was not then, but when we had got to the cheese, that our +conversation turned upon our rowing feats, and that Drummle was rallied +for coming up behind of a night in that slow amphibious way of his. +Drummle upon this, informed our host that he much preferred our room to +our company, and that as to skill he was more than our master, and that +as to strength he could scatter us like chaff. By some invisible agency, +my guardian wound him up to a pitch little short of ferocity about this +trifle; and he fell to baring and spanning his arm to show how muscular +it was, and we all fell to baring and spanning our arms in a ridiculous +manner. + +Now the housekeeper was at that time clearing the table; my guardian, +taking no heed of her, but with the side of his face turned from her, +was leaning back in his chair biting the side of his forefinger and +showing an interest in Drummle, that, to me, was quite inexplicable. +Suddenly, he clapped his large hand on the housekeeper's, like a trap, +as she stretched it across the table. So suddenly and smartly did he do +this, that we all stopped in our foolish contention. + +"If you talk of strength," said Mr. Jaggers, "I'll show you a wrist. +Molly, let them see your wrist." + +Her entrapped hand was on the table, but she had already put her other +hand behind her waist. "Master," she said, in a low voice, with her eyes +attentively and entreatingly fixed upon him. "Don't." + +"I'll show you a wrist," repeated Mr. Jaggers, with an immovable +determination to show it. "Molly, let them see your wrist." + +"Master," she again murmured. "Please!" + +"Molly," said Mr. Jaggers, not looking at her, but obstinately looking +at the opposite side of the room, "let them see both your wrists. Show +them. Come!" + +He took his hand from hers, and turned that wrist up on the table. She +brought her other hand from behind her, and held the two out side by +side. The last wrist was much disfigured,--deeply scarred and scarred +across and across. When she held her hands out she took her eyes from +Mr. Jaggers, and turned them watchfully on every one of the rest of us +in succession. + +"There's power here," said Mr. Jaggers, coolly tracing out the sinews +with his forefinger. "Very few men have the power of wrist that this +woman has. It's remarkable what mere force of grip there is in these +hands. I have had occasion to notice many hands; but I never saw +stronger in that respect, man's or woman's, than these." + +While he said these words in a leisurely, critical style, she continued +to look at every one of us in regular succession as we sat. The moment +he ceased, she looked at him again. "That'll do, Molly," said Mr. +Jaggers, giving her a slight nod; "you have been admired, and can +go." She withdrew her hands and went out of the room, and Mr. Jaggers, +putting the decanters on from his dumb-waiter, filled his glass and +passed round the wine. + +"At half-past nine, gentlemen," said he, "we must break up. Pray make +the best use of your time. I am glad to see you all. Mr. Drummle, I +drink to you." + +If his object in singling out Drummle were to bring him out still more, +it perfectly succeeded. In a sulky triumph, Drummle showed his morose +depreciation of the rest of us, in a more and more offensive degree, +until he became downright intolerable. Through all his stages, Mr. +Jaggers followed him with the same strange interest. He actually seemed +to serve as a zest to Mr. Jaggers's wine. + +In our boyish want of discretion I dare say we took too much to drink, +and I know we talked too much. We became particularly hot upon some +boorish sneer of Drummle's, to the effect that we were too free with our +money. It led to my remarking, with more zeal than discretion, that it +came with a bad grace from him, to whom Startop had lent money in my +presence but a week or so before. + +"Well," retorted Drummle; "he'll be paid." + +"I don't mean to imply that he won't," said I, "but it might make you +hold your tongue about us and our money, I should think." + +"You should think!" retorted Drummle. "Oh Lord!" + +"I dare say," I went on, meaning to be very severe, "that you wouldn't +lend money to any of us if we wanted it." + +"You are right," said Drummle. "I wouldn't lend one of you a sixpence. I +wouldn't lend anybody a sixpence." + +"Rather mean to borrow under those circumstances, I should say." + +"You should say," repeated Drummle. "Oh Lord!" + +This was so very aggravating--the more especially as I found myself +making no way against his surly obtuseness--that I said, disregarding +Herbert's efforts to check me,-- + +"Come, Mr. Drummle, since we are on the subject, I'll tell you what +passed between Herbert here and me, when you borrowed that money." + +"I don't want to know what passed between Herbert there and you," +growled Drummle. And I think he added in a lower growl, that we might +both go to the devil and shake ourselves. + +"I'll tell you, however," said I, "whether you want to know or not. We +said that as you put it in your pocket very glad to get it, you seemed +to be immensely amused at his being so weak as to lend it." + +Drummle laughed outright, and sat laughing in our faces, with his hands +in his pockets and his round shoulders raised; plainly signifying that +it was quite true, and that he despised us as asses all. + +Hereupon Startop took him in hand, though with a much better grace than +I had shown, and exhorted him to be a little more agreeable. Startop, +being a lively, bright young fellow, and Drummle being the exact +opposite, the latter was always disposed to resent him as a direct +personal affront. He now retorted in a coarse, lumpish way, and Startop +tried to turn the discussion aside with some small pleasantry that made +us all laugh. Resenting this little success more than anything, Drummle, +without any threat or warning, pulled his hands out of his pockets, +dropped his round shoulders, swore, took up a large glass, and would +have flung it at his adversary's head, but for our entertainer's +dexterously seizing it at the instant when it was raised for that +purpose. + +"Gentlemen," said Mr. Jaggers, deliberately putting down the glass, and +hauling out his gold repeater by its massive chain, "I am exceedingly +sorry to announce that it's half past nine." + +On this hint we all rose to depart. Before we got to the street door, +Startop was cheerily calling Drummle "old boy," as if nothing had +happened. But the old boy was so far from responding, that he would not +even walk to Hammersmith on the same side of the way; so Herbert and I, +who remained in town, saw them going down the street on opposite sides; +Startop leading, and Drummle lagging behind in the shadow of the houses, +much as he was wont to follow in his boat. + +As the door was not yet shut, I thought I would leave Herbert there for +a moment, and run upstairs again to say a word to my guardian. I found +him in his dressing-room surrounded by his stock of boots, already hard +at it, washing his hands of us. + +I told him I had come up again to say how sorry I was that anything +disagreeable should have occurred, and that I hoped he would not blame +me much. + +"Pooh!" said he, sluicing his face, and speaking through the +water-drops; "it's nothing, Pip. I like that Spider though." + +He had turned towards me now, and was shaking his head, and blowing, and +towelling himself. + +"I am glad you like him, sir," said I--"but I don't." + +"No, no," my guardian assented; "don't have too much to do with him. +Keep as clear of him as you can. But I like the fellow, Pip; he is one +of the true sort. Why, if I was a fortune-teller--" + +Looking out of the towel, he caught my eye. + +"But I am not a fortune-teller," he said, letting his head drop into a +festoon of towel, and towelling away at his two ears. "You know what I +am, don't you? Good night, Pip." + +"Good night, sir." + +In about a month after that, the Spider's time with Mr. Pocket was up +for good, and, to the great relief of all the house but Mrs. Pocket, he +went home to the family hole. + + + + +Chapter XXVII + + +"MY DEAR MR PIP:-- + +"I write this by request of Mr. Gargery, for to let you know that he +is going to London in company with Mr. Wopsle and would be glad if +agreeable to be allowed to see you. He would call at Barnard's Hotel +Tuesday morning at nine o'clock, when if not agreeable please leave +word. Your poor sister is much the same as when you left. We talk of you +in the kitchen every night, and wonder what you are saying and doing. If +now considered in the light of a liberty, excuse it for the love of +poor old days. No more, dear Mr. Pip, from your ever obliged, and +affectionate servant, + +"BIDDY." + +"P.S. He wishes me most particular to write what larks. He says you will +understand. I hope and do not doubt it will be agreeable to see him, +even though a gentleman, for you had ever a good heart, and he is a +worthy, worthy man. I have read him all, excepting only the last little +sentence, and he wishes me most particular to write again what larks." + +I received this letter by the post on Monday morning, and therefore its +appointment was for next day. Let me confess exactly with what feelings +I looked forward to Joe's coming. + +Not with pleasure, though I was bound to him by so many ties; no; +with considerable disturbance, some mortification, and a keen sense of +incongruity. If I could have kept him away by paying money, I certainly +would have paid money. My greatest reassurance was that he was coming +to Barnard's Inn, not to Hammersmith, and consequently would not fall +in Bentley Drummle's way. I had little objection to his being seen by +Herbert or his father, for both of whom I had a respect; but I had the +sharpest sensitiveness as to his being seen by Drummle, whom I held in +contempt. So, throughout life, our worst weaknesses and meannesses are +usually committed for the sake of the people whom we most despise. + +I had begun to be always decorating the chambers in some quite +unnecessary and inappropriate way or other, and very expensive those +wrestles with Barnard proved to be. By this time, the rooms were +vastly different from what I had found them, and I enjoyed the honor +of occupying a few prominent pages in the books of a neighboring +upholsterer. I had got on so fast of late, that I had even started a boy +in boots,--top boots,--in bondage and slavery to whom I might have been +said to pass my days. For, after I had made the monster (out of the +refuse of my washerwoman's family), and had clothed him with a blue +coat, canary waistcoat, white cravat, creamy breeches, and the boots +already mentioned, I had to find him a little to do and a great deal +to eat; and with both of those horrible requirements he haunted my +existence. + +This avenging phantom was ordered to be on duty at eight on Tuesday +morning in the hall, (it was two feet square, as charged for +floorcloth,) and Herbert suggested certain things for breakfast that he +thought Joe would like. While I felt sincerely obliged to him for being +so interested and considerate, I had an odd half-provoked sense of +suspicion upon me, that if Joe had been coming to see him, he wouldn't +have been quite so brisk about it. + +However, I came into town on the Monday night to be ready for Joe, and +I got up early in the morning, and caused the sitting-room and +breakfast-table to assume their most splendid appearance. Unfortunately +the morning was drizzly, and an angel could not have concealed the fact +that Barnard was shedding sooty tears outside the window, like some weak +giant of a Sweep. + +As the time approached I should have liked to run away, but the Avenger +pursuant to orders was in the hall, and presently I heard Joe on +the staircase. I knew it was Joe, by his clumsy manner of coming upstairs, +--his state boots being always too big for him,--and by the time +it took him to read the names on the other floors in the course of +his ascent. When at last he stopped outside our door, I could hear his +finger tracing over the painted letters of my name, and I afterwards +distinctly heard him breathing in at the keyhole. Finally he gave a +faint single rap, and Pepper--such was the compromising name of the +avenging boy--announced "Mr. Gargery!" I thought he never would have +done wiping his feet, and that I must have gone out to lift him off the +mat, but at last he came in. + +"Joe, how are you, Joe?" + +"Pip, how AIR you, Pip?" + +With his good honest face all glowing and shining, and his hat put +down on the floor between us, he caught both my hands and worked them +straight up and down, as if I had been the last-patented Pump. + +"I am glad to see you, Joe. Give me your hat." + +But Joe, taking it up carefully with both hands, like a bird's-nest with +eggs in it, wouldn't hear of parting with that piece of property, and +persisted in standing talking over it in a most uncomfortable way. + +"Which you have that growed," said Joe, "and that swelled, and that +gentle-folked;" Joe considered a little before he discovered this word; +"as to be sure you are a honor to your king and country." + +"And you, Joe, look wonderfully well." + +"Thank God," said Joe, "I'm ekerval to most. And your sister, she's +no worse than she were. And Biddy, she's ever right and ready. And all +friends is no backerder, if not no forarder. 'Ceptin Wopsle; he's had a +drop." + +All this time (still with both hands taking great care of the +bird's-nest), Joe was rolling his eyes round and round the room, and +round and round the flowered pattern of my dressing-gown. + +"Had a drop, Joe?" + +"Why yes," said Joe, lowering his voice, "he's left the Church and went +into the playacting. Which the playacting have likeways brought him +to London along with me. And his wish were," said Joe, getting the +bird's-nest under his left arm for the moment, and groping in it for an +egg with his right; "if no offence, as I would 'and you that." + +I took what Joe gave me, and found it to be the crumpled play-bill of +a small metropolitan theatre, announcing the first appearance, in that +very week, of "the celebrated Provincial Amateur of Roscian renown, +whose unique performance in the highest tragic walk of our National Bard +has lately occasioned so great a sensation in local dramatic circles." + +"Were you at his performance, Joe?" I inquired. + +"I were," said Joe, with emphasis and solemnity. + +"Was there a great sensation?" + +"Why," said Joe, "yes, there certainly were a peck of orange-peel. +Partickler when he see the ghost. Though I put it to yourself, sir, +whether it were calc'lated to keep a man up to his work with a good +hart, to be continiwally cutting in betwixt him and the Ghost with +"Amen!" A man may have had a misfortun' and been in the Church," said +Joe, lowering his voice to an argumentative and feeling tone, "but +that is no reason why you should put him out at such a time. Which I +meantersay, if the ghost of a man's own father cannot be allowed to +claim his attention, what can, Sir? Still more, when his mourning 'at +is unfortunately made so small as that the weight of the black feathers +brings it off, try to keep it on how you may." + +A ghost-seeing effect in Joe's own countenance informed me that Herbert +had entered the room. So, I presented Joe to Herbert, who held out his +hand; but Joe backed from it, and held on by the bird's-nest. + +"Your servant, Sir," said Joe, "which I hope as you and Pip"--here his +eye fell on the Avenger, who was putting some toast on table, and so +plainly denoted an intention to make that young gentleman one of the +family, that I frowned it down and confused him more--"I meantersay, you +two gentlemen,--which I hope as you get your elths in this close spot? +For the present may be a werry good inn, according to London opinions," +said Joe, confidentially, "and I believe its character do stand it; but I +wouldn't keep a pig in it myself,--not in the case that I wished him to +fatten wholesome and to eat with a meller flavor on him." + +Having borne this flattering testimony to the merits of our +dwelling-place, and having incidentally shown this tendency to call me +"sir," Joe, being invited to sit down to table, looked all round the +room for a suitable spot on which to deposit his hat,--as if it were +only on some very few rare substances in nature that it could find a +resting place,--and ultimately stood it on an extreme corner of the +chimney-piece, from which it ever afterwards fell off at intervals. + +"Do you take tea, or coffee, Mr. Gargery?" asked Herbert, who always +presided of a morning. + +"Thankee, Sir," said Joe, stiff from head to foot, "I'll take whichever +is most agreeable to yourself." + +"What do you say to coffee?" + +"Thankee, Sir," returned Joe, evidently dispirited by the proposal, +"since you are so kind as make chice of coffee, I will not run contrairy +to your own opinions. But don't you never find it a little 'eating?" + +"Say tea then," said Herbert, pouring it out. + +Here Joe's hat tumbled off the mantel-piece, and he started out of his +chair and picked it up, and fitted it to the same exact spot. As if it +were an absolute point of good breeding that it should tumble off again +soon. + +"When did you come to town, Mr. Gargery?" + +"Were it yesterday afternoon?" said Joe, after coughing behind his hand, +as if he had had time to catch the whooping-cough since he came. "No +it were not. Yes it were. Yes. It were yesterday afternoon" (with an +appearance of mingled wisdom, relief, and strict impartiality). + +"Have you seen anything of London yet?" + +"Why, yes, Sir," said Joe, "me and Wopsle went off straight to look at +the Blacking Ware'us. But we didn't find that it come up to its likeness +in the red bills at the shop doors; which I meantersay," added Joe, in +an explanatory manner, "as it is there drawd too architectooralooral." + +I really believe Joe would have prolonged this word (mightily expressive +to my mind of some architecture that I know) into a perfect Chorus, but +for his attention being providentially attracted by his hat, which +was toppling. Indeed, it demanded from him a constant attention, and a +quickness of eye and hand, very like that exacted by wicket-keeping. +He made extraordinary play with it, and showed the greatest skill; now, +rushing at it and catching it neatly as it dropped; now, merely stopping +it midway, beating it up, and humoring it in various parts of the room +and against a good deal of the pattern of the paper on the wall, +before he felt it safe to close with it; finally splashing it into the +slop-basin, where I took the liberty of laying hands upon it. + +As to his shirt-collar, and his coat-collar, they were perplexing to +reflect upon,--insoluble mysteries both. Why should a man scrape himself +to that extent, before he could consider himself full dressed? Why +should he suppose it necessary to be purified by suffering for +his holiday clothes? Then he fell into such unaccountable fits of +meditation, with his fork midway between his plate and his mouth; had +his eyes attracted in such strange directions; was afflicted with such +remarkable coughs; sat so far from the table, and dropped so much +more than he ate, and pretended that he hadn't dropped it; that I was +heartily glad when Herbert left us for the City. + +I had neither the good sense nor the good feeling to know that this was +all my fault, and that if I had been easier with Joe, Joe would have +been easier with me. I felt impatient of him and out of temper with him; +in which condition he heaped coals of fire on my head. + +"Us two being now alone, sir,"--began Joe. + +"Joe," I interrupted, pettishly, "how can you call me, sir?" + +Joe looked at me for a single instant with something faintly like +reproach. Utterly preposterous as his cravat was, and as his collars +were, I was conscious of a sort of dignity in the look. + +"Us two being now alone," resumed Joe, "and me having the intentions and +abilities to stay not many minutes more, I will now conclude--leastways +begin--to mention what have led to my having had the present honor. For +was it not," said Joe, with his old air of lucid exposition, "that my +only wish were to be useful to you, I should not have had the honor of +breaking wittles in the company and abode of gentlemen." + +I was so unwilling to see the look again, that I made no remonstrance +against this tone. + +"Well, sir," pursued Joe, "this is how it were. I were at the Bargemen +t'other night, Pip;"--whenever he subsided into affection, he called me +Pip, and whenever he relapsed into politeness he called me sir; "when +there come up in his shay-cart, Pumblechook. Which that same identical," +said Joe, going down a new track, "do comb my 'air the wrong way +sometimes, awful, by giving out up and down town as it were him which +ever had your infant companionation and were looked upon as a playfellow +by yourself." + +"Nonsense. It was you, Joe." + +"Which I fully believed it were, Pip," said Joe, slightly tossing +his head, "though it signify little now, sir. Well, Pip; this same +identical, which his manners is given to blusterous, come to me at +the Bargemen (wot a pipe and a pint of beer do give refreshment to the +workingman, sir, and do not over stimilate), and his word were, 'Joseph, +Miss Havisham she wish to speak to you.'" + +"Miss Havisham, Joe?" + +"'She wish,' were Pumblechook's word, 'to speak to you.'" Joe sat and +rolled his eyes at the ceiling. + +"Yes, Joe? Go on, please." + +"Next day, sir," said Joe, looking at me as if I were a long way off, +"having cleaned myself, I go and I see Miss A." + +"Miss A., Joe? Miss Havisham?" + +"Which I say, sir," replied Joe, with an air of legal formality, as if +he were making his will, "Miss A., or otherways Havisham. Her expression +air then as follering: 'Mr. Gargery. You air in correspondence with Mr. +Pip?' Having had a letter from you, I were able to say 'I am.' (When +I married your sister, sir, I said 'I will;' and when I answered your +friend, Pip, I said 'I am.') 'Would you tell him, then,' said she, 'that +which Estella has come home and would be glad to see him.'" + +I felt my face fire up as I looked at Joe. I hope one remote cause +of its firing may have been my consciousness that if I had known his +errand, I should have given him more encouragement. + +"Biddy," pursued Joe, "when I got home and asked her fur to write the +message to you, a little hung back. Biddy says, 'I know he will be very +glad to have it by word of mouth, it is holiday time, you want to see +him, go!' I have now concluded, sir," said Joe, rising from his chair, +"and, Pip, I wish you ever well and ever prospering to a greater and a +greater height." + +"But you are not going now, Joe?" + +"Yes I am," said Joe. + +"But you are coming back to dinner, Joe?" + +"No I am not," said Joe. + +Our eyes met, and all the "Sir" melted out of that manly heart as he gave +me his hand. + +"Pip, dear old chap, life is made of ever so many partings welded +together, as I may say, and one man's a blacksmith, and one's a +whitesmith, and one's a goldsmith, and one's a coppersmith. Diwisions +among such must come, and must be met as they come. If there's been +any fault at all to-day, it's mine. You and me is not two figures to +be together in London; nor yet anywheres else but what is private, and +beknown, and understood among friends. It ain't that I am proud, but +that I want to be right, as you shall never see me no more in these +clothes. I'm wrong in these clothes. I'm wrong out of the forge, the +kitchen, or off th' meshes. You won't find half so much fault in me if +you think of me in my forge dress, with my hammer in my hand, or even +my pipe. You won't find half so much fault in me if, supposing as you +should ever wish to see me, you come and put your head in at the forge +window and see Joe the blacksmith, there, at the old anvil, in the old +burnt apron, sticking to the old work. I'm awful dull, but I hope I've +beat out something nigh the rights of this at last. And so GOD bless +you, dear old Pip, old chap, GOD bless you!" + +I had not been mistaken in my fancy that there was a simple dignity +in him. The fashion of his dress could no more come in its way when he +spoke these words than it could come in its way in Heaven. He touched me +gently on the forehead, and went out. As soon as I could recover +myself sufficiently, I hurried out after him and looked for him in the +neighboring streets; but he was gone. + + + + +Chapter XXVIII + +It was clear that I must repair to our town next day, and in the first +flow of my repentance, it was equally clear that I must stay at Joe's. +But, when I had secured my box-place by to-morrow's coach, and had been +down to Mr. Pocket's and back, I was not by any means convinced on the +last point, and began to invent reasons and make excuses for putting +up at the Blue Boar. I should be an inconvenience at Joe's; I was not +expected, and my bed would not be ready; I should be too far from +Miss Havisham's, and she was exacting and mightn't like it. All other +swindlers upon earth are nothing to the self-swindlers, and with such +pretences did I cheat myself. Surely a curious thing. That I should +innocently take a bad half-crown of somebody else's manufacture is +reasonable enough; but that I should knowingly reckon the spurious coin +of my own make as good money! An obliging stranger, under pretence of +compactly folding up my bank-notes for security's sake, abstracts the +notes and gives me nutshells; but what is his sleight of hand to mine, +when I fold up my own nutshells and pass them on myself as notes! + +Having settled that I must go to the Blue Boar, my mind was much +disturbed by indecision whether or not to take the Avenger. It was +tempting to think of that expensive Mercenary publicly airing his boots +in the archway of the Blue Boar's posting-yard; it was almost solemn to +imagine him casually produced in the tailor's shop, and confounding +the disrespectful senses of Trabb's boy. On the other hand, Trabb's boy +might worm himself into his intimacy and tell him things; or, reckless +and desperate wretch as I knew he could be, might hoot him in the High +Street. My patroness, too, might hear of him, and not approve. On the +whole, I resolved to leave the Avenger behind. + +It was the afternoon coach by which I had taken my place, and, as winter +had now come round, I should not arrive at my destination until two or +three hours after dark. Our time of starting from the Cross Keys was +two o'clock. I arrived on the ground with a quarter of an hour to spare, +attended by the Avenger,--if I may connect that expression with one who +never attended on me if he could possibly help it. + +At that time it was customary to carry Convicts down to the dock-yards +by stage-coach. As I had often heard of them in the capacity of outside +passengers, and had more than once seen them on the high road dangling +their ironed legs over the coach roof, I had no cause to be surprised +when Herbert, meeting me in the yard, came up and told me there were two +convicts going down with me. But I had a reason that was an old reason +now for constitutionally faltering whenever I heard the word "convict." + +"You don't mind them, Handel?" said Herbert. + +"O no!" + +"I thought you seemed as if you didn't like them?" + +"I can't pretend that I do like them, and I suppose you don't +particularly. But I don't mind them." + +"See! There they are," said Herbert, "coming out of the Tap. What a +degraded and vile sight it is!" + +They had been treating their guard, I suppose, for they had a gaoler +with them, and all three came out wiping their mouths on their hands. +The two convicts were handcuffed together, and had irons on their +legs,--irons of a pattern that I knew well. They wore the dress that I +likewise knew well. Their keeper had a brace of pistols, and carried +a thick-knobbed bludgeon under his arm; but he was on terms of good +understanding with them, and stood with them beside him, looking on at +the putting-to of the horses, rather with an air as if the convicts were +an interesting Exhibition not formally open at the moment, and he the +Curator. One was a taller and stouter man than the other, and appeared +as a matter of course, according to the mysterious ways of the world, +both convict and free, to have had allotted to him the smaller suit of +clothes. His arms and legs were like great pincushions of those shapes, +and his attire disguised him absurdly; but I knew his half-closed eye +at one glance. There stood the man whom I had seen on the settle at the +Three Jolly Bargemen on a Saturday night, and who had brought me down +with his invisible gun! + +It was easy to make sure that as yet he knew me no more than if he had +never seen me in his life. He looked across at me, and his eye appraised +my watch-chain, and then he incidentally spat and said something to the +other convict, and they laughed and slued themselves round with a clink +of their coupling manacle, and looked at something else. The great +numbers on their backs, as if they were street doors; their coarse mangy +ungainly outer surface, as if they were lower animals; their ironed +legs, apologetically garlanded with pocket-handkerchiefs; and the way +in which all present looked at them and kept from them; made them (as +Herbert had said) a most disagreeable and degraded spectacle. + +But this was not the worst of it. It came out that the whole of the back +of the coach had been taken by a family removing from London, and that +there were no places for the two prisoners but on the seat in front +behind the coachman. Hereupon, a choleric gentleman, who had taken the +fourth place on that seat, flew into a most violent passion, and said +that it was a breach of contract to mix him up with such villainous +company, and that it was poisonous, and pernicious, and infamous, and +shameful, and I don't know what else. At this time the coach was ready +and the coachman impatient, and we were all preparing to get up, and +the prisoners had come over with their keeper,--bringing with them that +curious flavor of bread-poultice, baize, rope-yarn, and hearthstone, +which attends the convict presence. + +"Don't take it so much amiss, sir," pleaded the keeper to the angry +passenger; "I'll sit next you myself. I'll put 'em on the outside of +the row. They won't interfere with you, sir. You needn't know they're +there." + +"And don't blame me," growled the convict I had recognized. "I don't +want to go. I am quite ready to stay behind. As fur as I am concerned +any one's welcome to my place." + +"Or mine," said the other, gruffly. "I wouldn't have incommoded none +of you, if I'd had my way." Then they both laughed, and began cracking +nuts, and spitting the shells about.--As I really think I should have +liked to do myself, if I had been in their place and so despised. + +At length, it was voted that there was no help for the angry gentleman, +and that he must either go in his chance company or remain behind. So he +got into his place, still making complaints, and the keeper got into the +place next him, and the convicts hauled themselves up as well as they +could, and the convict I had recognized sat behind me with his breath on +the hair of my head. + +"Good-bye, Handel!" Herbert called out as we started. I thought what a +blessed fortune it was, that he had found another name for me than Pip. + +It is impossible to express with what acuteness I felt the convict's +breathing, not only on the back of my head, but all along my spine. The +sensation was like being touched in the marrow with some pungent and +searching acid, it set my very teeth on edge. He seemed to have more +breathing business to do than another man, and to make more noise in +doing it; and I was conscious of growing high-shouldered on one side, in +my shrinking endeavors to fend him off. + +The weather was miserably raw, and the two cursed the cold. It made us +all lethargic before we had gone far, and when we had left the Half-way +House behind, we habitually dozed and shivered and were silent. I dozed +off, myself, in considering the question whether I ought to restore a +couple of pounds sterling to this creature before losing sight of him, +and how it could best be done. In the act of dipping forward as if I +were going to bathe among the horses, I woke in a fright and took the +question up again. + +But I must have lost it longer than I had thought, since, although +I could recognize nothing in the darkness and the fitful lights and +shadows of our lamps, I traced marsh country in the cold damp wind that +blew at us. Cowering forward for warmth and to make me a screen against +the wind, the convicts were closer to me than before. The very first +words I heard them interchange as I became conscious, were the words of +my own thought, "Two One Pound notes." + +"How did he get 'em?" said the convict I had never seen. + +"How should I know?" returned the other. "He had 'em stowed away +somehows. Giv him by friends, I expect." + +"I wish," said the other, with a bitter curse upon the cold, "that I had +'em here." + +"Two one pound notes, or friends?" + +"Two one pound notes. I'd sell all the friends I ever had for one, and +think it a blessed good bargain. Well? So he says--?" + +"So he says," resumed the convict I had recognized,--"it was all +said and done in half a minute, behind a pile of timber in the +Dock-yard,--'You're a going to be discharged?' Yes, I was. Would I find +out that boy that had fed him and kep his secret, and give him them two +one pound notes? Yes, I would. And I did." + +"More fool you," growled the other. "I'd have spent 'em on a Man, in +wittles and drink. He must have been a green one. Mean to say he knowed +nothing of you?" + +"Not a ha'porth. Different gangs and different ships. He was tried again +for prison breaking, and got made a Lifer." + +"And was that--Honor!--the only time you worked out, in this part of the +country?" + +"The only time." + +"What might have been your opinion of the place?" + +"A most beastly place. Mudbank, mist, swamp, and work; work, swamp, +mist, and mudbank." + +They both execrated the place in very strong language, and gradually +growled themselves out, and had nothing left to say. + +After overhearing this dialogue, I should assuredly have got down and +been left in the solitude and darkness of the highway, but for feeling +certain that the man had no suspicion of my identity. Indeed, I was not +only so changed in the course of nature, but so differently dressed and +so differently circumstanced, that it was not at all likely he could +have known me without accidental help. Still, the coincidence of our +being together on the coach, was sufficiently strange to fill me with a +dread that some other coincidence might at any moment connect me, in his +hearing, with my name. For this reason, I resolved to alight as soon as +we touched the town, and put myself out of his hearing. This device I +executed successfully. My little portmanteau was in the boot under my +feet; I had but to turn a hinge to get it out; I threw it down before +me, got down after it, and was left at the first lamp on the first +stones of the town pavement. As to the convicts, they went their way +with the coach, and I knew at what point they would be spirited off to +the river. In my fancy, I saw the boat with its convict crew waiting for +them at the slime-washed stairs,--again heard the gruff "Give way, you!" +like and order to dogs,--again saw the wicked Noah's Ark lying out on +the black water. + +I could not have said what I was afraid of, for my fear was altogether +undefined and vague, but there was great fear upon me. As I walked on to +the hotel, I felt that a dread, much exceeding the mere apprehension of +a painful or disagreeable recognition, made me tremble. I am confident +that it took no distinctness of shape, and that it was the revival for a +few minutes of the terror of childhood. + +The coffee-room at the Blue Boar was empty, and I had not only ordered +my dinner there, but had sat down to it, before the waiter knew me. As +soon as he had apologized for the remissness of his memory, he asked me +if he should send Boots for Mr. Pumblechook? + +"No," said I, "certainly not." + +The waiter (it was he who had brought up the Great Remonstrance from the +Commercials, on the day when I was bound) appeared surprised, and +took the earliest opportunity of putting a dirty old copy of a local +newspaper so directly in my way, that I took it up and read this +paragraph:-- + +Our readers will learn, not altogether without interest, in reference to +the recent romantic rise in fortune of a young artificer in iron of this +neighborhood (what a theme, by the way, for the magic pen of our as yet +not universally acknowledged townsman TOOBY, the poet of our columns!) +that the youth's earliest patron, companion, and friend, was a highly +respected individual not entirely unconnected with the corn and seed +trade, and whose eminently convenient and commodious business premises +are situate within a hundred miles of the High Street. It is not wholly +irrespective of our personal feelings that we record HIM as the Mentor +of our young Telemachus, for it is good to know that our town produced +the founder of the latter's fortunes. Does the thought-contracted brow +of the local Sage or the lustrous eye of local Beauty inquire whose +fortunes? We believe that Quintin Matsys was the BLACKSMITH of Antwerp. +VERB. SAP. + +I entertain a conviction, based upon large experience, that if in the +days of my prosperity I had gone to the North Pole, I should have met +somebody there, wandering Esquimaux or civilized man, who would have +told me that Pumblechook was my earliest patron and the founder of my +fortunes. + + + + +Chapter XXIX + +Betimes in the morning I was up and out. It was too early yet to go to +Miss Havisham's, so I loitered into the country on Miss Havisham's +side of town,--which was not Joe's side; I could go there +to-morrow,--thinking about my patroness, and painting brilliant pictures +of her plans for me. + +She had adopted Estella, she had as good as adopted me, and it could not +fail to be her intention to bring us together. She reserved it for me to +restore the desolate house, admit the sunshine into the dark rooms, +set the clocks a-going and the cold hearths a-blazing, tear down the +cobwebs, destroy the vermin,--in short, do all the shining deeds of the +young Knight of romance, and marry the Princess. I had stopped to +look at the house as I passed; and its seared red brick walls, blocked +windows, and strong green ivy clasping even the stacks of chimneys with +its twigs and tendons, as if with sinewy old arms, had made up a rich +attractive mystery, of which I was the hero. Estella was the inspiration +of it, and the heart of it, of course. But, though she had taken such +strong possession of me, though my fancy and my hope were so set upon +her, though her influence on my boyish life and character had been +all-powerful, I did not, even that romantic morning, invest her with any +attributes save those she possessed. I mention this in this place, of a +fixed purpose, because it is the clew by which I am to be followed into +my poor labyrinth. According to my experience, the conventional notion +of a lover cannot be always true. The unqualified truth is, that when I +loved Estella with the love of a man, I loved her simply because I found +her irresistible. Once for all; I knew to my sorrow, often and often, +if not always, that I loved her against reason, against promise, against +peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that +could be. Once for all; I loved her none the less because I knew it, +and it had no more influence in restraining me than if I had devoutly +believed her to be human perfection. + +I so shaped out my walk as to arrive at the gate at my old time. When +I had rung at the bell with an unsteady hand, I turned my back upon the +gate, while I tried to get my breath and keep the beating of my heart +moderately quiet. I heard the side-door open, and steps come across the +courtyard; but I pretended not to hear, even when the gate swung on its +rusty hinges. + +Being at last touched on the shoulder, I started and turned. I started +much more naturally then, to find myself confronted by a man in a sober +gray dress. The last man I should have expected to see in that place of +porter at Miss Havisham's door. + +"Orlick!" + +"Ah, young master, there's more changes than yours. But come in, come +in. It's opposed to my orders to hold the gate open." + +I entered and he swung it, and locked it, and took the key out. "Yes!" +said he, facing round, after doggedly preceding me a few steps towards +the house. "Here I am!" + +"How did you come here?" + +"I come her," he retorted, "on my legs. I had my box brought alongside +me in a barrow." + +"Are you here for good?" + +"I ain't here for harm, young master, I suppose?" + +I was not so sure of that. I had leisure to entertain the retort in my +mind, while he slowly lifted his heavy glance from the pavement, up my +legs and arms, to my face. + +"Then you have left the forge?" I said. + +"Do this look like a forge?" replied Orlick, sending his glance all +round him with an air of injury. "Now, do it look like it?" + +I asked him how long he had left Gargery's forge? + +"One day is so like another here," he replied, "that I don't know +without casting it up. However, I come here some time since you left." + +"I could have told you that, Orlick." + +"Ah!" said he, dryly. "But then you've got to be a scholar." + +By this time we had come to the house, where I found his room to be one +just within the side-door, with a little window in it looking on the +courtyard. In its small proportions, it was not unlike the kind of place +usually assigned to a gate-porter in Paris. Certain keys were hanging on +the wall, to which he now added the gate key; and his patchwork-covered +bed was in a little inner division or recess. The whole had a slovenly, +confined, and sleepy look, like a cage for a human dormouse; while he, +looming dark and heavy in the shadow of a corner by the window, looked +like the human dormouse for whom it was fitted up,--as indeed he was. + +"I never saw this room before," I remarked; "but there used to be no +Porter here." + +"No," said he; "not till it got about that there was no protection on +the premises, and it come to be considered dangerous, with convicts and +Tag and Rag and Bobtail going up and down. And then I was recommended to +the place as a man who could give another man as good as he brought, and +I took it. It's easier than bellowsing and hammering.--That's loaded, +that is." + +My eye had been caught by a gun with a brass-bound stock over the +chimney-piece, and his eye had followed mine. + +"Well," said I, not desirous of more conversation, "shall I go up to +Miss Havisham?" + +"Burn me, if I know!" he retorted, first stretching himself and then +shaking himself; "my orders ends here, young master. I give this here +bell a rap with this here hammer, and you go on along the passage till +you meet somebody." + +"I am expected, I believe?" + +"Burn me twice over, if I can say!" said he. + +Upon that, I turned down the long passage which I had first trodden in +my thick boots, and he made his bell sound. At the end of the passage, +while the bell was still reverberating, I found Sarah Pocket, who +appeared to have now become constitutionally green and yellow by reason +of me. + +"Oh!" said she. "You, is it, Mr. Pip?" + +"It is, Miss Pocket. I am glad to tell you that Mr. Pocket and family +are all well." + +"Are they any wiser?" said Sarah, with a dismal shake of the head; "they +had better be wiser, than well. Ah, Matthew, Matthew! You know your way, +sir?" + +Tolerably, for I had gone up the staircase in the dark, many a time. I +ascended it now, in lighter boots than of yore, and tapped in my old +way at the door of Miss Havisham's room. "Pip's rap," I heard her say, +immediately; "come in, Pip." + +She was in her chair near the old table, in the old dress, with her two +hands crossed on her stick, her chin resting on them, and her eyes on +the fire. Sitting near her, with the white shoe, that had never been +worn, in her hand, and her head bent as she looked at it, was an elegant +lady whom I had never seen. + +"Come in, Pip," Miss Havisham continued to mutter, without looking round +or up; "come in, Pip, how do you do, Pip? so you kiss my hand as if I +were a queen, eh?--Well?" + +She looked up at me suddenly, only moving her eyes, and repeated in a +grimly playful manner,-- + +"Well?" + +"I heard, Miss Havisham," said I, rather at a loss, "that you were so +kind as to wish me to come and see you, and I came directly." + +"Well?" + +The lady whom I had never seen before, lifted up her eyes and looked +archly at me, and then I saw that the eyes were Estella's eyes. But she +was so much changed, was so much more beautiful, so much more womanly, +in all things winning admiration, had made such wonderful advance, +that I seemed to have made none. I fancied, as I looked at her, that +I slipped hopelessly back into the coarse and common boy again. O +the sense of distance and disparity that came upon me, and the +inaccessibility that came about her! + +She gave me her hand. I stammered something about the pleasure I felt in +seeing her again, and about my having looked forward to it, for a long, +long time. + +"Do you find her much changed, Pip?" asked Miss Havisham, with her +greedy look, and striking her stick upon a chair that stood between +them, as a sign to me to sit down there. + +"When I came in, Miss Havisham, I thought there was nothing of Estella +in the face or figure; but now it all settles down so curiously into the +old--" + +"What? You are not going to say into the old Estella?" Miss Havisham +interrupted. "She was proud and insulting, and you wanted to go away +from her. Don't you remember?" + +I said confusedly that that was long ago, and that I knew no better +then, and the like. Estella smiled with perfect composure, and said she +had no doubt of my having been quite right, and of her having been very +disagreeable. + +"Is he changed?" Miss Havisham asked her. + +"Very much," said Estella, looking at me. + +"Less coarse and common?" said Miss Havisham, playing with Estella's +hair. + +Estella laughed, and looked at the shoe in her hand, and laughed again, +and looked at me, and put the shoe down. She treated me as a boy still, +but she lured me on. + +We sat in the dreamy room among the old strange influences which had +so wrought upon me, and I learnt that she had but just come home from +France, and that she was going to London. Proud and wilful as of old, +she had brought those qualities into such subjection to her beauty that +it was impossible and out of nature--or I thought so--to separate them +from her beauty. Truly it was impossible to dissociate her presence +from all those wretched hankerings after money and gentility that had +disturbed my boyhood,--from all those ill-regulated aspirations that had +first made me ashamed of home and Joe,--from all those visions that had +raised her face in the glowing fire, struck it out of the iron on the +anvil, extracted it from the darkness of night to look in at the wooden +window of the forge, and flit away. In a word, it was impossible for me +to separate her, in the past or in the present, from the innermost life +of my life. + +It was settled that I should stay there all the rest of the day, and +return to the hotel at night, and to London to-morrow. When we had +conversed for a while, Miss Havisham sent us two out to walk in the +neglected garden: on our coming in by and by, she said, I should wheel +her about a little, as in times of yore. + +So, Estella and I went out into the garden by the gate through which I +had strayed to my encounter with the pale young gentleman, now Herbert; +I, trembling in spirit and worshipping the very hem of her dress; she, +quite composed and most decidedly not worshipping the hem of mine. As we +drew near to the place of encounter, she stopped and said,-- + +"I must have been a singular little creature to hide and see that fight +that day; but I did, and I enjoyed it very much." + +"You rewarded me very much." + +"Did I?" she replied, in an incidental and forgetful way. "I remember I +entertained a great objection to your adversary, because I took it ill +that he should be brought here to pester me with his company." + +"He and I are great friends now." + +"Are you? I think I recollect though, that you read with his father?" + +"Yes." + +I made the admission with reluctance, for it seemed to have a boyish +look, and she already treated me more than enough like a boy. + +"Since your change of fortune and prospects, you have changed your +companions," said Estella. + +"Naturally," said I. + +"And necessarily," she added, in a haughty tone; "what was fit company +for you once, would be quite unfit company for you now." + +In my conscience, I doubt very much whether I had any lingering +intention left of going to see Joe; but if I had, this observation put +it to flight. + +"You had no idea of your impending good fortune, in those times?" said +Estella, with a slight wave of her hand, signifying in the fighting +times. + +"Not the least." + +The air of completeness and superiority with which she walked at my +side, and the air of youthfulness and submission with which I walked at +hers, made a contrast that I strongly felt. It would have rankled in me +more than it did, if I had not regarded myself as eliciting it by being +so set apart for her and assigned to her. + +The garden was too overgrown and rank for walking in with ease, and +after we had made the round of it twice or thrice, we came out again +into the brewery yard. I showed her to a nicety where I had seen her +walking on the casks, that first old day, and she said, with a cold and +careless look in that direction, "Did I?" I reminded her where she had +come out of the house and given me my meat and drink, and she said, "I +don't remember." "Not remember that you made me cry?" said I. "No," said +she, and shook her head and looked about her. I verily believe that +her not remembering and not minding in the least, made me cry again, +inwardly,--and that is the sharpest crying of all. + +"You must know," said Estella, condescending to me as a brilliant and +beautiful woman might, "that I have no heart,--if that has anything to +do with my memory." + +I got through some jargon to the effect that I took the liberty of +doubting that. That I knew better. That there could be no such beauty +without it. + +"Oh! I have a heart to be stabbed in or shot in, I have no doubt," said +Estella, "and of course if it ceased to beat I should cease +to be. But you know what I mean. I have no softness there, +no--sympathy--sentiment--nonsense." + +What was it that was borne in upon my mind when she stood still and +looked attentively at me? Anything that I had seen in Miss Havisham? No. +In some of her looks and gestures there was that tinge of resemblance +to Miss Havisham which may often be noticed to have been acquired by +children, from grown person with whom they have been much associated and +secluded, and which, when childhood is passed, will produce a remarkable +occasional likeness of expression between faces that are otherwise quite +different. And yet I could not trace this to Miss Havisham. I looked +again, and though she was still looking at me, the suggestion was gone. + +What was it? + +"I am serious," said Estella, not so much with a frown (for her brow was +smooth) as with a darkening of her face; "if we are to be thrown much +together, you had better believe it at once. No!" imperiously stopping +me as I opened my lips. "I have not bestowed my tenderness anywhere. I +have never had any such thing." + +In another moment we were in the brewery, so long disused, and she +pointed to the high gallery where I had seen her going out on that same +first day, and told me she remembered to have been up there, and to have +seen me standing scared below. As my eyes followed her white hand, again +the same dim suggestion that I could not possibly grasp crossed me. My +involuntary start occasioned her to lay her hand upon my arm. Instantly +the ghost passed once more and was gone. + +What was it? + +"What is the matter?" asked Estella. "Are you scared again?" + +"I should be, if I believed what you said just now," I replied, to turn +it off. + +"Then you don't? Very well. It is said, at any rate. Miss Havisham will +soon be expecting you at your old post, though I think that might be +laid aside now, with other old belongings. Let us make one more round +of the garden, and then go in. Come! You shall not shed tears for my +cruelty to-day; you shall be my Page, and give me your shoulder." + +Her handsome dress had trailed upon the ground. She held it in one hand +now, and with the other lightly touched my shoulder as we walked. We +walked round the ruined garden twice or thrice more, and it was all in +bloom for me. If the green and yellow growth of weed in the chinks of +the old wall had been the most precious flowers that ever blew, it could +not have been more cherished in my remembrance. + +There was no discrepancy of years between us to remove her far from me; +we were of nearly the same age, though of course the age told for more +in her case than in mine; but the air of inaccessibility which her +beauty and her manner gave her, tormented me in the midst of my delight, +and at the height of the assurance I felt that our patroness had chosen +us for one another. Wretched boy! + +At last we went back into the house, and there I heard, with surprise, +that my guardian had come down to see Miss Havisham on business, and +would come back to dinner. The old wintry branches of chandeliers in +the room where the mouldering table was spread had been lighted while we +were out, and Miss Havisham was in her chair and waiting for me. + +It was like pushing the chair itself back into the past, when we began +the old slow circuit round about the ashes of the bridal feast. But, +in the funereal room, with that figure of the grave fallen back in the +chair fixing its eyes upon her, Estella looked more bright and beautiful +than before, and I was under stronger enchantment. + +The time so melted away, that our early dinner-hour drew close at hand, +and Estella left us to prepare herself. We had stopped near the centre +of the long table, and Miss Havisham, with one of her withered arms +stretched out of the chair, rested that clenched hand upon the yellow +cloth. As Estella looked back over her shoulder before going out at the +door, Miss Havisham kissed that hand to her, with a ravenous intensity +that was of its kind quite dreadful. + +Then, Estella being gone and we two left alone, she turned to me, and +said in a whisper,-- + +"Is she beautiful, graceful, well-grown? Do you admire her?" + +"Everybody must who sees her, Miss Havisham." + +She drew an arm round my neck, and drew my head close down to hers as +she sat in the chair. "Love her, love her, love her! How does she use +you?" + +Before I could answer (if I could have answered so difficult a question +at all) she repeated, "Love her, love her, love her! If she favors +you, love her. If she wounds you, love her. If she tears your heart to +pieces,--and as it gets older and stronger it will tear deeper,--love +her, love her, love her!" + +Never had I seen such passionate eagerness as was joined to her +utterance of these words. I could feel the muscles of the thin arm round +my neck swell with the vehemence that possessed her. + +"Hear me, Pip! I adopted her, to be loved. I bred her and educated her, +to be loved. I developed her into what she is, that she might be loved. +Love her!" + +She said the word often enough, and there could be no doubt that she +meant to say it; but if the often repeated word had been hate instead of +love--despair--revenge--dire death--it could not have sounded from her +lips more like a curse. + +"I'll tell you," said she, in the same hurried passionate whisper, "what +real love is. It is blind devotion, unquestioning self-humiliation, +utter submission, trust and belief against yourself and against the +whole world, giving up your whole heart and soul to the smiter--as I +did!" + +When she came to that, and to a wild cry that followed that, I caught +her round the waist. For she rose up in the chair, in her shroud of a +dress, and struck at the air as if she would as soon have struck herself +against the wall and fallen dead. + +All this passed in a few seconds. As I drew her down into her chair, I +was conscious of a scent that I knew, and turning, saw my guardian in +the room. + +He always carried (I have not yet mentioned it, I think) a +pocket-handkerchief of rich silk and of imposing proportions, which was +of great value to him in his profession. I have seen him so terrify a +client or a witness by ceremoniously unfolding this pocket-handkerchief +as if he were immediately going to blow his nose, and then pausing, +as if he knew he should not have time to do it before such client +or witness committed himself, that the self-committal has followed +directly, quite as a matter of course. When I saw him in the room he had +this expressive pocket-handkerchief in both hands, and was looking at +us. On meeting my eye, he said plainly, by a momentary and silent pause +in that attitude, "Indeed? Singular!" and then put the handkerchief to +its right use with wonderful effect. + +Miss Havisham had seen him as soon as I, and was (like everybody +else) afraid of him. She made a strong attempt to compose herself, and +stammered that he was as punctual as ever. + +"As punctual as ever," he repeated, coming up to us. "(How do you do, +Pip? Shall I give you a ride, Miss Havisham? Once round?) And so you are +here, Pip?" + +I told him when I had arrived, and how Miss Havisham had wished me to +come and see Estella. To which he replied, "Ah! Very fine young lady!" +Then he pushed Miss Havisham in her chair before him, with one of his +large hands, and put the other in his trousers-pocket as if the pocket +were full of secrets. + +"Well, Pip! How often have you seen Miss Estella before?" said he, when +he came to a stop. + +"How often?" + +"Ah! How many times? Ten thousand times?" + +"Oh! Certainly not so many." + +"Twice?" + +"Jaggers," interposed Miss Havisham, much to my relief, "leave my Pip +alone, and go with him to your dinner." + +He complied, and we groped our way down the dark stairs together. While +we were still on our way to those detached apartments across the paved +yard at the back, he asked me how often I had seen Miss Havisham eat +and drink; offering me a breadth of choice, as usual, between a hundred +times and once. + +I considered, and said, "Never." + +"And never will, Pip," he retorted, with a frowning smile. "She has +never allowed herself to be seen doing either, since she lived this +present life of hers. She wanders about in the night, and then lays +hands on such food as she takes." + +"Pray, sir," said I, "may I ask you a question?" + +"You may," said he, "and I may decline to answer it. Put your question." + +"Estella's name. Is it Havisham or--?" I had nothing to add. + +"Or what?" said he. + +"Is it Havisham?" + +"It is Havisham." + +This brought us to the dinner-table, where she and Sarah Pocket awaited +us. Mr. Jaggers presided, Estella sat opposite to him, I faced my +green and yellow friend. We dined very well, and were waited on by a +maid-servant whom I had never seen in all my comings and goings, but +who, for anything I know, had been in that mysterious house the whole +time. After dinner a bottle of choice old port was placed before my +guardian (he was evidently well acquainted with the vintage), and the +two ladies left us. + +Anything to equal the determined reticence of Mr. Jaggers under that +roof I never saw elsewhere, even in him. He kept his very looks to +himself, and scarcely directed his eyes to Estella's face once during +dinner. When she spoke to him, he listened, and in due course answered, +but never looked at her, that I could see. On the other hand, she often +looked at him, with interest and curiosity, if not distrust, but his +face never showed the least consciousness. Throughout dinner he took +a dry delight in making Sarah Pocket greener and yellower, by often +referring in conversation with me to my expectations; but here, +again, he showed no consciousness, and even made it appear that he +extorted--and even did extort, though I don't know how--those references +out of my innocent self. + +And when he and I were left alone together, he sat with an air upon him +of general lying by in consequence of information he possessed, that +really was too much for me. He cross-examined his very wine when he had +nothing else in hand. He held it between himself and the candle, tasted +the port, rolled it in his mouth, swallowed it, looked at his +glass again, smelt the port, tried it, drank it, filled again, and +cross-examined the glass again, until I was as nervous as if I had known +the wine to be telling him something to my disadvantage. Three or four +times I feebly thought I would start conversation; but whenever he saw +me going to ask him anything, he looked at me with his glass in his +hand, and rolling his wine about in his mouth, as if requesting me to +take notice that it was of no use, for he couldn't answer. + +I think Miss Pocket was conscious that the sight of me involved her +in the danger of being goaded to madness, and perhaps tearing off her +cap,--which was a very hideous one, in the nature of a muslin mop,--and +strewing the ground with her hair,--which assuredly had never grown +on her head. She did not appear when we afterwards went up to Miss +Havisham's room, and we four played at whist. In the interval, Miss +Havisham, in a fantastic way, had put some of the most beautiful jewels +from her dressing-table into Estella's hair, and about her bosom and +arms; and I saw even my guardian look at her from under his thick +eyebrows, and raise them a little, when her loveliness was before him, +with those rich flushes of glitter and color in it. + +Of the manner and extent to which he took our trumps into custody, and +came out with mean little cards at the ends of hands, before which the +glory of our Kings and Queens was utterly abased, I say nothing; nor, of +the feeling that I had, respecting his looking upon us personally in the +light of three very obvious and poor riddles that he had found out long +ago. What I suffered from, was the incompatibility between his cold +presence and my feelings towards Estella. It was not that I knew I could +never bear to speak to him about her, that I knew I could never bear to +hear him creak his boots at her, that I knew I could never bear to see +him wash his hands of her; it was, that my admiration should be within +a foot or two of him,--it was, that my feelings should be in the same +place with him,--that, was the agonizing circumstance. + +We played until nine o'clock, and then it was arranged that when Estella +came to London I should be forewarned of her coming and should meet her +at the coach; and then I took leave of her, and touched her and left +her. + +My guardian lay at the Boar in the next room to mine. Far into the +night, Miss Havisham's words, "Love her, love her, love her!" sounded in +my ears. I adapted them for my own repetition, and said to my pillow, "I +love her, I love her, I love her!" hundreds of times. Then, a burst of +gratitude came upon me, that she should be destined for me, once the +blacksmith's boy. Then I thought if she were, as I feared, by no means +rapturously grateful for that destiny yet, when would she begin to be +interested in me? When should I awaken the heart within her that was +mute and sleeping now? + +Ah me! I thought those were high and great emotions. But I never thought +there was anything low and small in my keeping away from Joe, because +I knew she would be contemptuous of him. It was but a day gone, and Joe +had brought the tears into my eyes; they had soon dried, God forgive me! +soon dried. + + + + +Chapter XXX + +After well considering the matter while I was dressing at the Blue Boar +in the morning, I resolved to tell my guardian that I doubted Orlick's +being the right sort of man to fill a post of trust at Miss Havisham's. +"Why of course he is not the right sort of man, Pip," said my guardian, +comfortably satisfied beforehand on the general head, "because the man +who fills the post of trust never is the right sort of man." It seemed +quite to put him into spirits to find that this particular post was +not exceptionally held by the right sort of man, and he listened in a +satisfied manner while I told him what knowledge I had of Orlick. "Very +good, Pip," he observed, when I had concluded, "I'll go round presently, +and pay our friend off." Rather alarmed by this summary action, I was +for a little delay, and even hinted that our friend himself might be +difficult to deal with. "Oh no he won't," said my guardian, making his +pocket-handkerchief-point, with perfect confidence; "I should like to +see him argue the question with me." + +As we were going back together to London by the midday coach, and as I +breakfasted under such terrors of Pumblechook that I could scarcely hold +my cup, this gave me an opportunity of saying that I wanted a walk, and +that I would go on along the London road while Mr. Jaggers was occupied, +if he would let the coachman know that I would get into my place when +overtaken. I was thus enabled to fly from the Blue Boar immediately +after breakfast. By then making a loop of about a couple of miles into +the open country at the back of Pumblechook's premises, I got round into +the High Street again, a little beyond that pitfall, and felt myself in +comparative security. + +It was interesting to be in the quiet old town once more, and it was not +disagreeable to be here and there suddenly recognized and stared after. +One or two of the tradespeople even darted out of their shops and went +a little way down the street before me, that they might turn, as if they +had forgotten something, and pass me face to face,--on which occasions I +don't know whether they or I made the worse pretence; they of not doing +it, or I of not seeing it. Still my position was a distinguished one, +and I was not at all dissatisfied with it, until Fate threw me in the +way of that unlimited miscreant, Trabb's boy. + +Casting my eyes along the street at a certain point of my progress, I +beheld Trabb's boy approaching, lashing himself with an empty blue bag. +Deeming that a serene and unconscious contemplation of him would best +beseem me, and would be most likely to quell his evil mind, I advanced +with that expression of countenance, and was rather congratulating +myself on my success, when suddenly the knees of Trabb's boy smote +together, his hair uprose, his cap fell off, he trembled violently in +every limb, staggered out into the road, and crying to the populace, +"Hold me! I'm so frightened!" feigned to be in a paroxysm of terror and +contrition, occasioned by the dignity of my appearance. As I passed him, +his teeth loudly chattered in his head, and with every mark of extreme +humiliation, he prostrated himself in the dust. + +This was a hard thing to bear, but this was nothing. I had not advanced +another two hundred yards when, to my inexpressible terror, amazement, +and indignation, I again beheld Trabb's boy approaching. He was coming +round a narrow corner. His blue bag was slung over his shoulder, honest +industry beamed in his eyes, a determination to proceed to Trabb's with +cheerful briskness was indicated in his gait. With a shock he became +aware of me, and was severely visited as before; but this time his +motion was rotatory, and he staggered round and round me with knees +more afflicted, and with uplifted hands as if beseeching for mercy. His +sufferings were hailed with the greatest joy by a knot of spectators, +and I felt utterly confounded. + +I had not got as much further down the street as the post-office, when I +again beheld Trabb's boy shooting round by a back way. This time, he was +entirely changed. He wore the blue bag in the manner of my great-coat, +and was strutting along the pavement towards me on the opposite side of +the street, attended by a company of delighted young friends to whom he +from time to time exclaimed, with a wave of his hand, "Don't know yah!" +Words cannot state the amount of aggravation and injury wreaked upon +me by Trabb's boy, when passing abreast of me, he pulled up his +shirt-collar, twined his side-hair, stuck an arm akimbo, and smirked +extravagantly by, wriggling his elbows and body, and drawling to his +attendants, "Don't know yah, don't know yah, 'pon my soul don't know +yah!" The disgrace attendant on his immediately afterwards taking +to crowing and pursuing me across the bridge with crows, as from an +exceedingly dejected fowl who had known me when I was a blacksmith, +culminated the disgrace with which I left the town, and was, so to +speak, ejected by it into the open country. + +But unless I had taken the life of Trabb's boy on that occasion, I +really do not even now see what I could have done save endure. To +have struggled with him in the street, or to have exacted any lower +recompense from him than his heart's best blood, would have been +futile and degrading. Moreover, he was a boy whom no man could hurt; an +invulnerable and dodging serpent who, when chased into a corner, flew +out again between his captor's legs, scornfully yelping. I wrote, +however, to Mr. Trabb by next day's post, to say that Mr. Pip must +decline to deal further with one who could so far forget what he owed to +the best interests of society, as to employ a boy who excited Loathing +in every respectable mind. + +The coach, with Mr. Jaggers inside, came up in due time, and I took my +box-seat again, and arrived in London safe,--but not sound, for my heart +was gone. As soon as I arrived, I sent a penitential codfish and barrel +of oysters to Joe (as reparation for not having gone myself), and then +went on to Barnard's Inn. + +I found Herbert dining on cold meat, and delighted to welcome me back. +Having despatched The Avenger to the coffee-house for an addition to the +dinner, I felt that I must open my breast that very evening to my friend +and chum. As confidence was out of the question with The Avenger in the +hall, which could merely be regarded in the light of an antechamber to +the keyhole, I sent him to the Play. A better proof of the severity +of my bondage to that taskmaster could scarcely be afforded, than +the degrading shifts to which I was constantly driven to find him +employment. So mean is extremity, that I sometimes sent him to Hyde Park +corner to see what o'clock it was. + +Dinner done and we sitting with our feet upon the fender, I said to +Herbert, "My dear Herbert, I have something very particular to tell +you." + +"My dear Handel," he returned, "I shall esteem and respect your +confidence." + +"It concerns myself, Herbert," said I, "and one other person." + +Herbert crossed his feet, looked at the fire with his head on one side, +and having looked at it in vain for some time, looked at me because I +didn't go on. + +"Herbert," said I, laying my hand upon his knee, "I love--I +adore--Estella." + +Instead of being transfixed, Herbert replied in an easy matter-of-course +way, "Exactly. Well?" + +"Well, Herbert? Is that all you say? Well?" + +"What next, I mean?" said Herbert. "Of course I know that." + +"How do you know it?" said I. + +"How do I know it, Handel? Why, from you." + +"I never told you." + +"Told me! You have never told me when you have got your hair cut, but I +have had senses to perceive it. You have always adored her, ever since +I have known you. You brought your adoration and your portmanteau here +together. Told me! Why, you have always told me all day long. When you +told me your own story, you told me plainly that you began adoring her +the first time you saw her, when you were very young indeed." + +"Very well, then," said I, to whom this was a new and not unwelcome +light, "I have never left off adoring her. And she has come back, a most +beautiful and most elegant creature. And I saw her yesterday. And if I +adored her before, I now doubly adore her." + +"Lucky for you then, Handel," said Herbert, "that you are picked out for +her and allotted to her. Without encroaching on forbidden ground, we +may venture to say that there can be no doubt between ourselves of +that fact. Have you any idea yet, of Estella's views on the adoration +question?" + +I shook my head gloomily. "Oh! She is thousands of miles away, from me," +said I. + +"Patience, my dear Handel: time enough, time enough. But you have +something more to say?" + +"I am ashamed to say it," I returned, "and yet it's no worse to say it +than to think it. You call me a lucky fellow. Of course, I am. I was a +blacksmith's boy but yesterday; I am--what shall I say I am--to-day?" + +"Say a good fellow, if you want a phrase," returned Herbert, smiling, +and clapping his hand on the back of mine--"a good fellow, with +impetuosity and hesitation, boldness and diffidence, action and +dreaming, curiously mixed in him." + +I stopped for a moment to consider whether there really was this mixture +in my character. On the whole, I by no means recognized the analysis, +but thought it not worth disputing. + +"When I ask what I am to call myself to-day, Herbert," I went on, "I +suggest what I have in my thoughts. You say I am lucky. I know I have +done nothing to raise myself in life, and that Fortune alone has raised +me; that is being very lucky. And yet, when I think of Estella--" + +("And when don't you, you know?" Herbert threw in, with his eyes on the +fire; which I thought kind and sympathetic of him.) + +"--Then, my dear Herbert, I cannot tell you how dependent and uncertain +I feel, and how exposed to hundreds of chances. Avoiding forbidden +ground, as you did just now, I may still say that on the constancy of +one person (naming no person) all my expectations depend. And at the +best, how indefinite and unsatisfactory, only to know so vaguely what +they are!" In saying this, I relieved my mind of what had always been +there, more or less, though no doubt most since yesterday. + +"Now, Handel," Herbert replied, in his gay, hopeful way, "it seems to me +that in the despondency of the tender passion, we are looking into our +gift-horse's mouth with a magnifying-glass. Likewise, it seems to me +that, concentrating our attention on the examination, we altogether +overlook one of the best points of the animal. Didn't you tell me that +your guardian, Mr. Jaggers, told you in the beginning, that you were +not endowed with expectations only? And even if he had not told you +so,--though that is a very large If, I grant,--could you believe that of +all men in London, Mr. Jaggers is the man to hold his present relations +towards you unless he were sure of his ground?" + +I said I could not deny that this was a strong point. I said it (people +often do so, in such cases) like a rather reluctant concession to truth +and justice;--as if I wanted to deny it! + +"I should think it was a strong point," said Herbert, "and I should +think you would be puzzled to imagine a stronger; as to the rest, you +must bide your guardian's time, and he must bide his client's time. +You'll be one-and-twenty before you know where you are, and then perhaps +you'll get some further enlightenment. At all events, you'll be nearer +getting it, for it must come at last." + +"What a hopeful disposition you have!" said I, gratefully admiring his +cheery ways. + +"I ought to have," said Herbert, "for I have not much else. I must +acknowledge, by the by, that the good sense of what I have just said is +not my own, but my father's. The only remark I ever heard him make on +your story, was the final one, "The thing is settled and done, or Mr. +Jaggers would not be in it." And now before I say anything more about my +father, or my father's son, and repay confidence with confidence, I want +to make myself seriously disagreeable to you for a moment,--positively +repulsive." + +"You won't succeed," said I. + +"O yes I shall!" said he. "One, two, three, and now I am in for it. +Handel, my good fellow;"--though he spoke in this light tone, he was +very much in earnest,--"I have been thinking since we have been talking +with our feet on this fender, that Estella surely cannot be a condition +of your inheritance, if she was never referred to by your guardian. Am +I right in so understanding what you have told me, as that he never +referred to her, directly or indirectly, in any way? Never even hinted, +for instance, that your patron might have views as to your marriage +ultimately?" + +"Never." + +"Now, Handel, I am quite free from the flavor of sour grapes, upon my +soul and honor! Not being bound to her, can you not detach yourself from +her?--I told you I should be disagreeable." + +I turned my head aside, for, with a rush and a sweep, like the old marsh +winds coming up from the sea, a feeling like that which had subdued +me on the morning when I left the forge, when the mists were solemnly +rising, and when I laid my hand upon the village finger-post, smote upon +my heart again. There was silence between us for a little while. + +"Yes; but my dear Handel," Herbert went on, as if we had been talking, +instead of silent, "its having been so strongly rooted in the breast of +a boy whom nature and circumstances made so romantic, renders it very +serious. Think of her bringing-up, and think of Miss Havisham. Think of +what she is herself (now I am repulsive and you abominate me). This may +lead to miserable things." + +"I know it, Herbert," said I, with my head still turned away, "but I +can't help it." + +"You can't detach yourself?" + +"No. Impossible!" + +"You can't try, Handel?" + +"No. Impossible!" + +"Well!" said Herbert, getting up with a lively shake as if he had +been asleep, and stirring the fire, "now I'll endeavor to make myself +agreeable again!" + +So he went round the room and shook the curtains out, put the chairs +in their places, tidied the books and so forth that were lying about, +looked into the hall, peeped into the letter-box, shut the door, and +came back to his chair by the fire: where he sat down, nursing his left +leg in both arms. + +"I was going to say a word or two, Handel, concerning my father and my +father's son. I am afraid it is scarcely necessary for my father's son +to remark that my father's establishment is not particularly brilliant +in its housekeeping." + +"There is always plenty, Herbert," said I, to say something encouraging. + +"O yes! and so the dustman says, I believe, with the strongest approval, +and so does the marine-store shop in the back street. Gravely, Handel, +for the subject is grave enough, you know how it is as well as I do. I +suppose there was a time once when my father had not given matters up; +but if ever there was, the time is gone. May I ask you if you have ever +had an opportunity of remarking, down in your part of the country, +that the children of not exactly suitable marriages are always most +particularly anxious to be married?" + +This was such a singular question, that I asked him in return, "Is it +so?" + +"I don't know," said Herbert, "that's what I want to know. Because it +is decidedly the case with us. My poor sister Charlotte, who was next me +and died before she was fourteen, was a striking example. Little Jane +is the same. In her desire to be matrimonially established, you +might suppose her to have passed her short existence in the perpetual +contemplation of domestic bliss. Little Alick in a frock has already +made arrangements for his union with a suitable young person at Kew. And +indeed, I think we are all engaged, except the baby." + +"Then you are?" said I. + +"I am," said Herbert; "but it's a secret." + +I assured him of my keeping the secret, and begged to be favored with +further particulars. He had spoken so sensibly and feelingly of my +weakness that I wanted to know something about his strength. + +"May I ask the name?" I said. + +"Name of Clara," said Herbert. + +"Live in London?" + +"Yes, perhaps I ought to mention," said Herbert, who had become +curiously crestfallen and meek, since we entered on the interesting +theme, "that she is rather below my mother's nonsensical family notions. +Her father had to do with the victualling of passenger-ships. I think he +was a species of purser." + +"What is he now?" said I. + +"He's an invalid now," replied Herbert. + +"Living on--?" + +"On the first floor," said Herbert. Which was not at all what I meant, +for I had intended my question to apply to his means. "I have never seen +him, for he has always kept his room overhead, since I have known Clara. +But I have heard him constantly. He makes tremendous rows,--roars, and +pegs at the floor with some frightful instrument." In looking at me and +then laughing heartily, Herbert for the time recovered his usual lively +manner. + +"Don't you expect to see him?" said I. + +"O yes, I constantly expect to see him," returned Herbert, "because +I never hear him, without expecting him to come tumbling through the +ceiling. But I don't know how long the rafters may hold." + +When he had once more laughed heartily, he became meek again, and told +me that the moment he began to realize Capital, it was his intention +to marry this young lady. He added as a self-evident proposition, +engendering low spirits, "But you can't marry, you know, while you're +looking about you." + +As we contemplated the fire, and as I thought what a difficult vision to +realize this same Capital sometimes was, I put my hands in my pockets. +A folded piece of paper in one of them attracting my attention, I opened +it and found it to be the play-bill I had received from Joe, relative +to the celebrated provincial amateur of Roscian renown. "And bless my +heart," I involuntarily added aloud, "it's to-night!" + +This changed the subject in an instant, and made us hurriedly resolve +to go to the play. So, when I had pledged myself to comfort and abet +Herbert in the affair of his heart by all practicable and impracticable +means, and when Herbert had told me that his affianced already knew me +by reputation and that I should be presented to her, and when we had +warmly shaken hands upon our mutual confidence, we blew out our candles, +made up our fire, locked our door, and issued forth in quest of Mr. +Wopsle and Denmark. + + + + +Chapter XXXI + +On our arrival in Denmark, we found the king and queen of that country +elevated in two arm-chairs on a kitchen-table, holding a Court. The +whole of the Danish nobility were in attendance; consisting of a noble +boy in the wash-leather boots of a gigantic ancestor, a venerable Peer +with a dirty face who seemed to have risen from the people late in life, +and the Danish chivalry with a comb in its hair and a pair of white +silk legs, and presenting on the whole a feminine appearance. My gifted +townsman stood gloomily apart, with folded arms, and I could have wished +that his curls and forehead had been more probable. + +Several curious little circumstances transpired as the action proceeded. +The late king of the country not only appeared to have been troubled +with a cough at the time of his decease, but to have taken it with him +to the tomb, and to have brought it back. The royal phantom also carried +a ghostly manuscript round its truncheon, to which it had the appearance +of occasionally referring, and that too, with an air of anxiety and a +tendency to lose the place of reference which were suggestive of a state +of mortality. It was this, I conceive, which led to the Shade's being +advised by the gallery to "turn over!"--a recommendation which it took +extremely ill. It was likewise to be noted of this majestic spirit, that +whereas it always appeared with an air of having been out a long time +and walked an immense distance, it perceptibly came from a closely +contiguous wall. This occasioned its terrors to be received derisively. +The Queen of Denmark, a very buxom lady, though no doubt historically +brazen, was considered by the public to have too much brass about her; +her chin being attached to her diadem by a broad band of that metal (as +if she had a gorgeous toothache), her waist being encircled by another, +and each of her arms by another, so that she was openly mentioned +as "the kettle-drum." The noble boy in the ancestral boots was +inconsistent, representing himself, as it were in one breath, as an able +seaman, a strolling actor, a grave-digger, a clergyman, and a person +of the utmost importance at a Court fencing-match, on the authority +of whose practised eye and nice discrimination the finest strokes were +judged. This gradually led to a want of toleration for him, and even--on +his being detected in holy orders, and declining to perform the funeral +service--to the general indignation taking the form of nuts. Lastly, +Ophelia was a prey to such slow musical madness, that when, in course of +time, she had taken off her white muslin scarf, folded it up, and buried +it, a sulky man who had been long cooling his impatient nose against an +iron bar in the front row of the gallery, growled, "Now the baby's put +to bed let's have supper!" Which, to say the least of it, was out of +keeping. + +Upon my unfortunate townsman all these incidents accumulated with +playful effect. Whenever that undecided Prince had to ask a question or +state a doubt, the public helped him out with it. As for example; on the +question whether 'twas nobler in the mind to suffer, some roared yes, +and some no, and some inclining to both opinions said "Toss up for +it;" and quite a Debating Society arose. When he asked what should such +fellows as he do crawling between earth and heaven, he was encouraged +with loud cries of "Hear, hear!" When he appeared with his stocking +disordered (its disorder expressed, according to usage, by one very neat +fold in the top, which I suppose to be always got up with a flat iron), +a conversation took place in the gallery respecting the paleness of his +leg, and whether it was occasioned by the turn the ghost had given him. +On his taking the recorders,--very like a little black flute that had +just been played in the orchestra and handed out at the door,--he was +called upon unanimously for Rule Britannia. When he recommended the +player not to saw the air thus, the sulky man said, "And don't you do +it, neither; you're a deal worse than him!" And I grieve to add that +peals of laughter greeted Mr. Wopsle on every one of these occasions. + +But his greatest trials were in the churchyard, which had the appearance +of a primeval forest, with a kind of small ecclesiastical wash-house +on one side, and a turnpike gate on the other. Mr. Wopsle in a +comprehensive black cloak, being descried entering at the turnpike, +the gravedigger was admonished in a friendly way, "Look out! Here's the +undertaker a coming, to see how you're a getting on with your work!" +I believe it is well known in a constitutional country that Mr. Wopsle +could not possibly have returned the skull, after moralizing over it, +without dusting his fingers on a white napkin taken from his breast; +but even that innocent and indispensable action did not pass without the +comment, "Wai-ter!" The arrival of the body for interment (in an empty +black box with the lid tumbling open), was the signal for a general +joy, which was much enhanced by the discovery, among the bearers, of +an individual obnoxious to identification. The joy attended Mr. Wopsle +through his struggle with Laertes on the brink of the orchestra and +the grave, and slackened no more until he had tumbled the king off the +kitchen-table, and had died by inches from the ankles upward. + +We had made some pale efforts in the beginning to applaud Mr. Wopsle; +but they were too hopeless to be persisted in. Therefore we had sat, +feeling keenly for him, but laughing, nevertheless, from ear to ear. I +laughed in spite of myself all the time, the whole thing was so droll; +and yet I had a latent impression that there was something decidedly +fine in Mr. Wopsle's elocution,--not for old associations' sake, I am +afraid, but because it was very slow, very dreary, very uphill and +downhill, and very unlike any way in which any man in any natural +circumstances of life or death ever expressed himself about anything. +When the tragedy was over, and he had been called for and hooted, I said +to Herbert, "Let us go at once, or perhaps we shall meet him." + +We made all the haste we could downstairs, but we were not quick enough +either. Standing at the door was a Jewish man with an unnatural heavy +smear of eyebrow, who caught my eyes as we advanced, and said, when we +came up with him,-- + +"Mr. Pip and friend?" + +Identity of Mr. Pip and friend confessed. + +"Mr. Waldengarver," said the man, "would be glad to have the honor." + +"Waldengarver?" I repeated--when Herbert murmured in my ear, "Probably +Wopsle." + +"Oh!" said I. "Yes. Shall we follow you?" + +"A few steps, please." When we were in a side alley, he turned and +asked, "How did you think he looked?--I dressed him." + +I don't know what he had looked like, except a funeral; with the +addition of a large Danish sun or star hanging round his neck by a +blue ribbon, that had given him the appearance of being insured in some +extraordinary Fire Office. But I said he had looked very nice. + +"When he come to the grave," said our conductor, "he showed his cloak +beautiful. But, judging from the wing, it looked to me that when he +see the ghost in the queen's apartment, he might have made more of his +stockings." + +I modestly assented, and we all fell through a little dirty swing door, +into a sort of hot packing-case immediately behind it. Here Mr. Wopsle +was divesting himself of his Danish garments, and here there was just +room for us to look at him over one another's shoulders, by keeping the +packing-case door, or lid, wide open. + +"Gentlemen," said Mr. Wopsle, "I am proud to see you. I hope, Mr. Pip, +you will excuse my sending round. I had the happiness to know you in +former times, and the Drama has ever had a claim which has ever been +acknowledged, on the noble and the affluent." + +Meanwhile, Mr. Waldengarver, in a frightful perspiration, was trying to +get himself out of his princely sables. + +"Skin the stockings off Mr. Waldengarver," said the owner of that +property, "or you'll bust 'em. Bust 'em, and you'll bust five-and-thirty +shillings. Shakspeare never was complimented with a finer pair. Keep +quiet in your chair now, and leave 'em to me." + +With that, he went upon his knees, and began to flay his victim; who, on +the first stocking coming off, would certainly have fallen over backward +with his chair, but for there being no room to fall anyhow. + +I had been afraid until then to say a word about the play. But then, Mr. +Waldengarver looked up at us complacently, and said,-- + +"Gentlemen, how did it seem to you, to go, in front?" + +Herbert said from behind (at the same time poking me), "Capitally." So I +said "Capitally." + +"How did you like my reading of the character, gentlemen?" said Mr. +Waldengarver, almost, if not quite, with patronage. + +Herbert said from behind (again poking me), "Massive and concrete." So I +said boldly, as if I had originated it, and must beg to insist upon it, +"Massive and concrete." + +"I am glad to have your approbation, gentlemen," said Mr. Waldengarver, +with an air of dignity, in spite of his being ground against the wall at +the time, and holding on by the seat of the chair. + +"But I'll tell you one thing, Mr. Waldengarver," said the man who was on +his knees, "in which you're out in your reading. Now mind! I don't care +who says contrairy; I tell you so. You're out in your reading of Hamlet +when you get your legs in profile. The last Hamlet as I dressed, made +the same mistakes in his reading at rehearsal, till I got him to put a +large red wafer on each of his shins, and then at that rehearsal (which +was the last) I went in front, sir, to the back of the pit, and whenever +his reading brought him into profile, I called out "I don't see no +wafers!" And at night his reading was lovely." + +Mr. Waldengarver smiled at me, as much as to say "a faithful +Dependent--I overlook his folly;" and then said aloud, "My view is a +little classic and thoughtful for them here; but they will improve, they +will improve." + +Herbert and I said together, O, no doubt they would improve. + +"Did you observe, gentlemen," said Mr. Waldengarver, "that there was a +man in the gallery who endeavored to cast derision on the service,--I +mean, the representation?" + +We basely replied that we rather thought we had noticed such a man. I +added, "He was drunk, no doubt." + +"O dear no, sir," said Mr. Wopsle, "not drunk. His employer would see to +that, sir. His employer would not allow him to be drunk." + +"You know his employer?" said I. + +Mr. Wopsle shut his eyes, and opened them again; performing both +ceremonies very slowly. "You must have observed, gentlemen," said he, +"an ignorant and a blatant ass, with a rasping throat and a countenance +expressive of low malignity, who went through--I will not say +sustained--the role (if I may use a French expression) of Claudius, King +of Denmark. That is his employer, gentlemen. Such is the profession!" + +Without distinctly knowing whether I should have been more sorry for Mr. +Wopsle if he had been in despair, I was so sorry for him as it was, +that I took the opportunity of his turning round to have his braces +put on,--which jostled us out at the doorway,--to ask Herbert what he +thought of having him home to supper? Herbert said he thought it would +be kind to do so; therefore I invited him, and he went to Barnard's +with us, wrapped up to the eyes, and we did our best for him, and he sat +until two o'clock in the morning, reviewing his success and developing +his plans. I forget in detail what they were, but I have a general +recollection that he was to begin with reviving the Drama, and to end +with crushing it; inasmuch as his decease would leave it utterly bereft +and without a chance or hope. + +Miserably I went to bed after all, and miserably thought of Estella, and +miserably dreamed that my expectations were all cancelled, and that I +had to give my hand in marriage to Herbert's Clara, or play Hamlet to +Miss Havisham's Ghost, before twenty thousand people, without knowing +twenty words of it. + + + + +Chapter XXXII + +One day when I was busy with my books and Mr. Pocket, I received a note +by the post, the mere outside of which threw me into a great flutter; +for, though I had never seen the handwriting in which it was addressed, +I divined whose hand it was. It had no set beginning, as Dear Mr. Pip, +or Dear Pip, or Dear Sir, or Dear Anything, but ran thus:-- + +"I am to come to London the day after to-morrow by the midday coach. I +believe it was settled you should meet me? At all events Miss Havisham +has that impression, and I write in obedience to it. She sends you her +regard. + +"Yours, ESTELLA." + +If there had been time, I should probably have ordered several suits +of clothes for this occasion; but as there was not, I was fain to be +content with those I had. My appetite vanished instantly, and I knew +no peace or rest until the day arrived. Not that its arrival brought +me either; for, then I was worse than ever, and began haunting the +coach-office in Wood Street, Cheapside, before the coach had left the +Blue Boar in our town. For all that I knew this perfectly well, I still +felt as if it were not safe to let the coach-office be out of my sight +longer than five minutes at a time; and in this condition of unreason I +had performed the first half-hour of a watch of four or five hours, when +Wemmick ran against me. + +"Halloa, Mr. Pip," said he; "how do you do? I should hardly have thought +this was your beat." + +I explained that I was waiting to meet somebody who was coming up by +coach, and I inquired after the Castle and the Aged. + +"Both flourishing thankye," said Wemmick, "and particularly the Aged. +He's in wonderful feather. He'll be eighty-two next birthday. I have +a notion of firing eighty-two times, if the neighborhood shouldn't +complain, and that cannon of mine should prove equal to the pressure. +However, this is not London talk. Where do you think I am going to?" + +"To the office?" said I, for he was tending in that direction. + +"Next thing to it," returned Wemmick, "I am going to Newgate. We are in +a banker's-parcel case just at present, and I have been down the road +taking a squint at the scene of action, and thereupon must have a word +or two with our client." + +"Did your client commit the robbery?" I asked. + +"Bless your soul and body, no," answered Wemmick, very drily. "But he +is accused of it. So might you or I be. Either of us might be accused of +it, you know." + +"Only neither of us is," I remarked. + +"Yah!" said Wemmick, touching me on the breast with his forefinger; +"you're a deep one, Mr. Pip! Would you like to have a look at Newgate? +Have you time to spare?" + +I had so much time to spare, that the proposal came as a relief, +notwithstanding its irreconcilability with my latent desire to keep my +eye on the coach-office. Muttering that I would make the inquiry whether +I had time to walk with him, I went into the office, and ascertained +from the clerk with the nicest precision and much to the trying of his +temper, the earliest moment at which the coach could be expected,--which +I knew beforehand, quite as well as he. I then rejoined Mr. Wemmick, and +affecting to consult my watch, and to be surprised by the information I +had received, accepted his offer. + +We were at Newgate in a few minutes, and we passed through the lodge +where some fetters were hanging up on the bare walls among the prison +rules, into the interior of the jail. At that time jails were much +neglected, and the period of exaggerated reaction consequent on +all public wrongdoing--and which is always its heaviest and longest +punishment--was still far off. So, felons were not lodged and fed better +than soldiers (to say nothing of paupers), and seldom set fire to their +prisons with the excusable object of improving the flavor of their soup. +It was visiting time when Wemmick took me in, and a potman was going his +rounds with beer; and the prisoners, behind bars in yards, were buying +beer, and talking to friends; and a frowzy, ugly, disorderly, depressing +scene it was. + +It struck me that Wemmick walked among the prisoners much as a gardener +might walk among his plants. This was first put into my head by his +seeing a shoot that had come up in the night, and saying, "What, Captain +Tom? Are you there? Ah, indeed!" and also, "Is that Black Bill behind +the cistern? Why I didn't look for you these two months; how do you find +yourself?" Equally in his stopping at the bars and attending to +anxious whisperers,--always singly,--Wemmick with his post-office in +an immovable state, looked at them while in conference, as if he were +taking particular notice of the advance they had made, since last +observed, towards coming out in full blow at their trial. + +He was highly popular, and I found that he took the familiar department +of Mr. Jaggers's business; though something of the state of Mr. Jaggers +hung about him too, forbidding approach beyond certain limits. His +personal recognition of each successive client was comprised in a nod, +and in his settling his hat a little easier on his head with both +hands, and then tightening the post-office, and putting his hands in his +pockets. In one or two instances there was a difficulty respecting the +raising of fees, and then Mr. Wemmick, backing as far as possible from +the insufficient money produced, said, "it's no use, my boy. I'm only +a subordinate. I can't take it. Don't go on in that way with a +subordinate. If you are unable to make up your quantum, my boy, you had +better address yourself to a principal; there are plenty of principals +in the profession, you know, and what is not worth the while of one, may +be worth the while of another; that's my recommendation to you, speaking +as a subordinate. Don't try on useless measures. Why should you? Now, +who's next?" + +Thus, we walked through Wemmick's greenhouse, until he turned to me and +said, "Notice the man I shall shake hands with." I should have done so, +without the preparation, as he had shaken hands with no one yet. + +Almost as soon as he had spoken, a portly upright man (whom I can +see now, as I write) in a well-worn olive-colored frock-coat, with a +peculiar pallor overspreading the red in his complexion, and eyes that +went wandering about when he tried to fix them, came up to a corner +of the bars, and put his hand to his hat--which had a greasy and fatty +surface like cold broth--with a half-serious and half-jocose military +salute. + +"Colonel, to you!" said Wemmick; "how are you, Colonel?" + +"All right, Mr. Wemmick." + +"Everything was done that could be done, but the evidence was too strong +for us, Colonel." + +"Yes, it was too strong, sir,--but I don't care." + +"No, no," said Wemmick, coolly, "you don't care." Then, turning to me, +"Served His Majesty this man. Was a soldier in the line and bought his +discharge." + +I said, "Indeed?" and the man's eyes looked at me, and then looked over +my head, and then looked all round me, and then he drew his hand across +his lips and laughed. + +"I think I shall be out of this on Monday, sir," he said to Wemmick. + +"Perhaps," returned my friend, "but there's no knowing." + +"I am glad to have the chance of bidding you good-bye, Mr. Wemmick," said +the man, stretching out his hand between two bars. + +"Thankye," said Wemmick, shaking hands with him. "Same to you, Colonel." + +"If what I had upon me when taken had been real, Mr. Wemmick," said the +man, unwilling to let his hand go, "I should have asked the favor of +your wearing another ring--in acknowledgment of your attentions." + +"I'll accept the will for the deed," said Wemmick. "By the by; you were +quite a pigeon-fancier." The man looked up at the sky. "I am told you +had a remarkable breed of tumblers. Could you commission any friend of +yours to bring me a pair, if you've no further use for 'em?" + +"It shall be done, sir." + +"All right," said Wemmick, "they shall be taken care of. Good afternoon, +Colonel. Good-bye!" They shook hands again, and as we walked away Wemmick +said to me, "A Coiner, a very good workman. The Recorder's report is +made to-day, and he is sure to be executed on Monday. Still you see, as +far as it goes, a pair of pigeons are portable property all the same." +With that, he looked back, and nodded at this dead plant, and then cast +his eyes about him in walking out of the yard, as if he were considering +what other pot would go best in its place. + +As we came out of the prison through the lodge, I found that the great +importance of my guardian was appreciated by the turnkeys, no less +than by those whom they held in charge. "Well, Mr. Wemmick," said the +turnkey, who kept us between the two studded and spiked lodge gates, +and who carefully locked one before he unlocked the other, "what's Mr. +Jaggers going to do with that water-side murder? Is he going to make it +manslaughter, or what's he going to make of it?" + +"Why don't you ask him?" returned Wemmick. + +"O yes, I dare say!" said the turnkey. + +"Now, that's the way with them here, Mr. Pip," remarked Wemmick, turning +to me with his post-office elongated. "They don't mind what they ask of +me, the subordinate; but you'll never catch 'em asking any questions of +my principal." + +"Is this young gentleman one of the 'prentices or articled ones of your +office?" asked the turnkey, with a grin at Mr. Wemmick's humor. + +"There he goes again, you see!" cried Wemmick, "I told you so! Asks +another question of the subordinate before his first is dry! Well, +supposing Mr. Pip is one of them?" + +"Why then," said the turnkey, grinning again, "he knows what Mr. Jaggers +is." + +"Yah!" cried Wemmick, suddenly hitting out at the turnkey in a facetious +way, "you're dumb as one of your own keys when you have to do with my +principal, you know you are. Let us out, you old fox, or I'll get him to +bring an action against you for false imprisonment." + +The turnkey laughed, and gave us good day, and stood laughing at us over +the spikes of the wicket when we descended the steps into the street. + +"Mind you, Mr. Pip," said Wemmick, gravely in my ear, as he took my arm +to be more confidential; "I don't know that Mr. Jaggers does a better +thing than the way in which he keeps himself so high. He's always so +high. His constant height is of a piece with his immense abilities. That +Colonel durst no more take leave of him, than that turnkey durst ask him +his intentions respecting a case. Then, between his height and them, he +slips in his subordinate,--don't you see?--and so he has 'em, soul and +body." + +I was very much impressed, and not for the first time, by my guardian's +subtlety. To confess the truth, I very heartily wished, and not for the +first time, that I had had some other guardian of minor abilities. + +Mr. Wemmick and I parted at the office in Little Britain, where +suppliants for Mr. Jaggers's notice were lingering about as usual, and I +returned to my watch in the street of the coach-office, with some three +hours on hand. I consumed the whole time in thinking how strange it +was that I should be encompassed by all this taint of prison and crime; +that, in my childhood out on our lonely marshes on a winter evening, I +should have first encountered it; that, it should have reappeared on two +occasions, starting out like a stain that was faded but not gone; that, +it should in this new way pervade my fortune and advancement. While my +mind was thus engaged, I thought of the beautiful young Estella, proud +and refined, coming towards me, and I thought with absolute abhorrence +of the contrast between the jail and her. I wished that Wemmick had not +met me, or that I had not yielded to him and gone with him, so that, +of all days in the year on this day, I might not have had Newgate in +my breath and on my clothes. I beat the prison dust off my feet as I +sauntered to and fro, and I shook it out of my dress, and I exhaled +its air from my lungs. So contaminated did I feel, remembering who was +coming, that the coach came quickly after all, and I was not yet free +from the soiling consciousness of Mr. Wemmick's conservatory, when I saw +her face at the coach window and her hand waving to me. + +What was the nameless shadow which again in that one instant had passed? + + + + +Chapter XXXIII + +In her furred travelling-dress, Estella seemed more delicately beautiful +than she had ever seemed yet, even in my eyes. Her manner was more +winning than she had cared to let it be to me before, and I thought I +saw Miss Havisham's influence in the change. + +We stood in the Inn Yard while she pointed out her luggage to me, and +when it was all collected I remembered--having forgotten everything but +herself in the meanwhile--that I knew nothing of her destination. + +"I am going to Richmond," she told me. "Our lesson is, that there are +two Richmonds, one in Surrey and one in Yorkshire, and that mine is the +Surrey Richmond. The distance is ten miles. I am to have a carriage, and +you are to take me. This is my purse, and you are to pay my charges out +of it. O, you must take the purse! We have no choice, you and I, but to +obey our instructions. We are not free to follow our own devices, you +and I." + +As she looked at me in giving me the purse, I hoped there was an +inner meaning in her words. She said them slightingly, but not with +displeasure. + +"A carriage will have to be sent for, Estella. Will you rest here a +little?" + +"Yes, I am to rest here a little, and I am to drink some tea, and you +are to take care of me the while." + +She drew her arm through mine, as if it must be done, and I requested a +waiter who had been staring at the coach like a man who had never seen +such a thing in his life, to show us a private sitting-room. Upon that, +he pulled out a napkin, as if it were a magic clew without which he +couldn't find the way upstairs, and led us to the black hole of the +establishment, fitted up with a diminishing mirror (quite a superfluous +article, considering the hole's proportions), an anchovy sauce-cruet, +and somebody's pattens. On my objecting to this retreat, he took us into +another room with a dinner-table for thirty, and in the grate a scorched +leaf of a copy-book under a bushel of coal-dust. Having looked at this +extinct conflagration and shaken his head, he took my order; which, +proving to be merely, "Some tea for the lady," sent him out of the room +in a very low state of mind. + +I was, and I am, sensible that the air of this chamber, in its strong +combination of stable with soup-stock, might have led one to infer that +the coaching department was not doing well, and that the enterprising +proprietor was boiling down the horses for the refreshment department. +Yet the room was all in all to me, Estella being in it. I thought that +with her I could have been happy there for life. (I was not at all happy +there at the time, observe, and I knew it well.) + +"Where are you going to, at Richmond?" I asked Estella. + +"I am going to live," said she, "at a great expense, with a lady there, +who has the power--or says she has--of taking me about, and introducing +me, and showing people to me and showing me to people." + +"I suppose you will be glad of variety and admiration?" + +"Yes, I suppose so." + +She answered so carelessly, that I said, "You speak of yourself as if +you were some one else." + +"Where did you learn how I speak of others? Come, come," said Estella, +smiling delightfully, "you must not expect me to go to school to you; I +must talk in my own way. How do you thrive with Mr. Pocket?" + +"I live quite pleasantly there; at least--" It appeared to me that I was +losing a chance. + +"At least?" repeated Estella. + +"As pleasantly as I could anywhere, away from you." + +"You silly boy," said Estella, quite composedly, "how can you talk such +nonsense? Your friend Mr. Matthew, I believe, is superior to the rest of +his family?" + +"Very superior indeed. He is nobody's enemy--" + +"Don't add but his own," interposed Estella, "for I hate that class of +man. But he really is disinterested, and above small jealousy and spite, +I have heard?" + +"I am sure I have every reason to say so." + +"You have not every reason to say so of the rest of his people," said +Estella, nodding at me with an expression of face that was at once +grave and rallying, "for they beset Miss Havisham with reports and +insinuations to your disadvantage. They watch you, misrepresent you, +write letters about you (anonymous sometimes), and you are the torment +and the occupation of their lives. You can scarcely realize to yourself +the hatred those people feel for you." + +"They do me no harm, I hope?" + +Instead of answering, Estella burst out laughing. This was very singular +to me, and I looked at her in considerable perplexity. When she left +off--and she had not laughed languidly, but with real enjoyment--I said, +in my diffident way with her,-- + +"I hope I may suppose that you would not be amused if they did me any +harm." + +"No, no you may be sure of that," said Estella. "You may be certain that +I laugh because they fail. O, those people with Miss Havisham, and the +tortures they undergo!" She laughed again, and even now when she had +told me why, her laughter was very singular to me, for I could not +doubt its being genuine, and yet it seemed too much for the occasion. +I thought there must really be something more here than I knew; she saw +the thought in my mind, and answered it. + +"It is not easy for even you." said Estella, "to know what satisfaction +it gives me to see those people thwarted, or what an enjoyable sense of +the ridiculous I have when they are made ridiculous. For you were not +brought up in that strange house from a mere baby. I was. You had not +your little wits sharpened by their intriguing against you, suppressed +and defenceless, under the mask of sympathy and pity and what not that +is soft and soothing. I had. You did not gradually open your round +childish eyes wider and wider to the discovery of that impostor of a +woman who calculates her stores of peace of mind for when she wakes up +in the night. I did." + +It was no laughing matter with Estella now, nor was she summoning these +remembrances from any shallow place. I would not have been the cause of +that look of hers for all my expectations in a heap. + +"Two things I can tell you," said Estella. "First, notwithstanding the +proverb that constant dropping will wear away a stone, you may set +your mind at rest that these people never will--never would, in hundred +years--impair your ground with Miss Havisham, in any particular, great +or small. Second, I am beholden to you as the cause of their being so +busy and so mean in vain, and there is my hand upon it." + +As she gave it to me playfully,--for her darker mood had been but +Momentary,--I held it and put it to my lips. "You ridiculous boy," said +Estella, "will you never take warning? Or do you kiss my hand in the +same spirit in which I once let you kiss my cheek?" + +"What spirit was that?" said I. + +"I must think a moment. A spirit of contempt for the fawners and +plotters." + +"If I say yes, may I kiss the cheek again?" + +"You should have asked before you touched the hand. But, yes, if you +like." + +I leaned down, and her calm face was like a statue's. "Now," said +Estella, gliding away the instant I touched her cheek, "you are to take +care that I have some tea, and you are to take me to Richmond." + +Her reverting to this tone as if our association were forced upon +us, and we were mere puppets, gave me pain; but everything in our +intercourse did give me pain. Whatever her tone with me happened to be, +I could put no trust in it, and build no hope on it; and yet I went on +against trust and against hope. Why repeat it a thousand times? So it +always was. + +I rang for the tea, and the waiter, reappearing with his magic clew, +brought in by degrees some fifty adjuncts to that refreshment, but of +tea not a glimpse. A teaboard, cups and saucers, plates, knives and +forks (including carvers), spoons (various), saltcellars, a meek little +muffin confined with the utmost precaution under a strong iron cover, +Moses in the bulrushes typified by a soft bit of butter in a quantity of +parsley, a pale loaf with a powdered head, two proof impressions of +the bars of the kitchen fireplace on triangular bits of bread, and +ultimately a fat family urn; which the waiter staggered in with, +expressing in his countenance burden and suffering. After a prolonged +absence at this stage of the entertainment, he at length came back with +a casket of precious appearance containing twigs. These I steeped in hot +water, and so from the whole of these appliances extracted one cup of I +don't know what for Estella. + +The bill paid, and the waiter remembered, and the ostler not forgotten, +and the chambermaid taken into consideration,--in a word, the whole +house bribed into a state of contempt and animosity, and Estella's purse +much lightened,--we got into our post-coach and drove away. Turning into +Cheapside and rattling up Newgate Street, we were soon under the walls +of which I was so ashamed. + +"What place is that?" Estella asked me. + +I made a foolish pretence of not at first recognizing it, and then +told her. As she looked at it, and drew in her head again, +murmuring, "Wretches!" I would not have confessed to my visit for any +consideration. + +"Mr. Jaggers," said I, by way of putting it neatly on somebody else, +"has the reputation of being more in the secrets of that dismal place +than any man in London." + +"He is more in the secrets of every place, I think," said Estella, in a +low voice. + +"You have been accustomed to see him often, I suppose?" + +"I have been accustomed to see him at uncertain intervals, ever since +I can remember. But I know him no better now, than I did before I could +speak plainly. What is your own experience of him? Do you advance with +him?" + +"Once habituated to his distrustful manner," said I, "I have done very +well." + +"Are you intimate?" + +"I have dined with him at his private house." + +"I fancy," said Estella, shrinking "that must be a curious place." + +"It is a curious place." + +I should have been chary of discussing my guardian too freely even with +her; but I should have gone on with the subject so far as to describe +the dinner in Gerrard Street, if we had not then come into a sudden +glare of gas. It seemed, while it lasted, to be all alight and alive +with that inexplicable feeling I had had before; and when we were out of +it, I was as much dazed for a few moments as if I had been in lightning. + +So we fell into other talk, and it was principally about the way by +which we were travelling, and about what parts of London lay on this +side of it, and what on that. The great city was almost new to her, she +told me, for she had never left Miss Havisham's neighborhood until she +had gone to France, and she had merely passed through London then in +going and returning. I asked her if my guardian had any charge of her +while she remained here? To that she emphatically said "God forbid!" and +no more. + +It was impossible for me to avoid seeing that she cared to attract me; +that she made herself winning, and would have won me even if the task +had needed pains. Yet this made me none the happier, for even if she had +not taken that tone of our being disposed of by others, I should have +felt that she held my heart in her hand because she wilfully chose to do +it, and not because it would have wrung any tenderness in her to crush +it and throw it away. + +When we passed through Hammersmith, I showed her where Mr. Matthew +Pocket lived, and said it was no great way from Richmond, and that I +hoped I should see her sometimes. + +"O yes, you are to see me; you are to come when you think proper; you +are to be mentioned to the family; indeed you are already mentioned." + +I inquired was it a large household she was going to be a member of? + +"No; there are only two; mother and daughter. The mother is a lady of +some station, though not averse to increasing her income." + +"I wonder Miss Havisham could part with you again so soon." + +"It is a part of Miss Havisham's plans for me, Pip," said Estella, with +a sigh, as if she were tired; "I am to write to her constantly and see +her regularly and report how I go on,--I and the jewels,--for they are +nearly all mine now." + +It was the first time she had ever called me by my name. Of course she +did so purposely, and knew that I should treasure it up. + +We came to Richmond all too soon, and our destination there was a house +by the green,--a staid old house, where hoops and powder and patches, +embroidered coats, rolled stockings, ruffles and swords, had had their +court days many a time. Some ancient trees before the house were still +cut into fashions as formal and unnatural as the hoops and wigs and +stiff skirts; but their own allotted places in the great procession of +the dead were not far off, and they would soon drop into them and go the +silent way of the rest. + +A bell with an old voice--which I dare say in its time had often said +to the house, Here is the green farthingale, Here is the diamond-hilted +sword, Here are the shoes with red heels and the blue solitaire--sounded +gravely in the moonlight, and two cherry-colored maids came fluttering +out to receive Estella. The doorway soon absorbed her boxes, and she +gave me her hand and a smile, and said good night, and was absorbed +likewise. And still I stood looking at the house, thinking how happy I +should be if I lived there with her, and knowing that I never was happy +with her, but always miserable. + +I got into the carriage to be taken back to Hammersmith, and I got in +with a bad heart-ache, and I got out with a worse heart-ache. At our +own door, I found little Jane Pocket coming home from a little party +escorted by her little lover; and I envied her little lover, in spite of +his being subject to Flopson. + +Mr. Pocket was out lecturing; for, he was a most delightful lecturer on +domestic economy, and his treatises on the management of children and +servants were considered the very best text-books on those themes. But +Mrs. Pocket was at home, and was in a little difficulty, on account of +the baby's having been accommodated with a needle-case to keep him quiet +during the unaccountable absence (with a relative in the Foot Guards) +of Millers. And more needles were missing than it could be regarded +as quite wholesome for a patient of such tender years either to apply +externally or to take as a tonic. + +Mr. Pocket being justly celebrated for giving most excellent practical +advice, and for having a clear and sound perception of things and a +highly judicious mind, I had some notion in my heart-ache of begging him +to accept my confidence. But happening to look up at Mrs. Pocket as she +sat reading her book of dignities after prescribing Bed as a sovereign +remedy for baby, I thought--Well--No, I wouldn't. + + + + +Chapter XXXIV + +As I had grown accustomed to my expectations, I had insensibly begun to +notice their effect upon myself and those around me. Their influence on +my own character I disguised from my recognition as much as possible, +but I knew very well that it was not all good. I lived in a state of +chronic uneasiness respecting my behavior to Joe. My conscience was not +by any means comfortable about Biddy. When I woke up in the night,--like +Camilla,--I used to think, with a weariness on my spirits, that I should +have been happier and better if I had never seen Miss Havisham's face, +and had risen to manhood content to be partners with Joe in the honest +old forge. Many a time of an evening, when I sat alone looking at the +fire, I thought, after all there was no fire like the forge fire and the +kitchen fire at home. + +Yet Estella was so inseparable from all my restlessness and disquiet of +mind, that I really fell into confusion as to the limits of my own part +in its production. That is to say, supposing I had had no expectations, +and yet had had Estella to think of, I could not make out to my +satisfaction that I should have done much better. Now, concerning the +influence of my position on others, I was in no such difficulty, and so +I perceived--though dimly enough perhaps--that it was not beneficial +to anybody, and, above all, that it was not beneficial to Herbert. +My lavish habits led his easy nature into expenses that he could not +afford, corrupted the simplicity of his life, and disturbed his peace +with anxieties and regrets. I was not at all remorseful for having +unwittingly set those other branches of the Pocket family to the poor +arts they practised; because such littlenesses were their natural +bent, and would have been evoked by anybody else, if I had left them +slumbering. But Herbert's was a very different case, and it often caused +me a twinge to think that I had done him evil service in crowding his +sparely furnished chambers with incongruous upholstery work, and placing +the Canary-breasted Avenger at his disposal. + +So now, as an infallible way of making little ease great ease, I began +to contract a quantity of debt. I could hardly begin but Herbert +must begin too, so he soon followed. At Startop's suggestion, we put +ourselves down for election into a club called The Finches of the Grove: +the object of which institution I have never divined, if it were not +that the members should dine expensively once a fortnight, to quarrel +among themselves as much as possible after dinner, and to cause six +waiters to get drunk on the stairs. I know that these gratifying social +ends were so invariably accomplished, that Herbert and I understood +nothing else to be referred to in the first standing toast of the +society: which ran "Gentlemen, may the present promotion of good feeling +ever reign predominant among the Finches of the Grove." + +The Finches spent their money foolishly (the Hotel we dined at was +in Covent Garden), and the first Finch I saw when I had the honor of +joining the Grove was Bentley Drummle, at that time floundering about +town in a cab of his own, and doing a great deal of damage to the posts +at the street corners. Occasionally, he shot himself out of his equipage +headforemost over the apron; and I saw him on one occasion deliver +himself at the door of the Grove in this unintentional way--like coals. +But here I anticipate a little, for I was not a Finch, and could not be, +according to the sacred laws of the society, until I came of age. + +In my confidence in my own resources, I would willingly have taken +Herbert's expenses on myself; but Herbert was proud, and I could make +no such proposal to him. So he got into difficulties in every direction, +and continued to look about him. When we gradually fell into keeping +late hours and late company, I noticed that he looked about him with a +desponding eye at breakfast-time; that he began to look about him more +hopefully about mid-day; that he drooped when he came into dinner; +that he seemed to descry Capital in the distance, rather clearly, after +dinner; that he all but realized Capital towards midnight; and that at +about two o'clock in the morning, he became so deeply despondent again +as to talk of buying a rifle and going to America, with a general +purpose of compelling buffaloes to make his fortune. + +I was usually at Hammersmith about half the week, and when I was at +Hammersmith I haunted Richmond, whereof separately by and by. Herbert +would often come to Hammersmith when I was there, and I think at those +seasons his father would occasionally have some passing perception that +the opening he was looking for, had not appeared yet. But in the general +tumbling up of the family, his tumbling out in life somewhere, was +a thing to transact itself somehow. In the meantime Mr. Pocket grew +grayer, and tried oftener to lift himself out of his perplexities by the +hair. While Mrs. Pocket tripped up the family with her footstool, read +her book of dignities, lost her pocket-handkerchief, told us about her +grandpapa, and taught the young idea how to shoot, by shooting it into +bed whenever it attracted her notice. + +As I am now generalizing a period of my life with the object of clearing +my way before me, I can scarcely do so better than by at once completing +the description of our usual manners and customs at Barnard's Inn. + +We spent as much money as we could, and got as little for it as people +could make up their minds to give us. We were always more or less +miserable, and most of our acquaintance were in the same condition. +There was a gay fiction among us that we were constantly enjoying +ourselves, and a skeleton truth that we never did. To the best of my +belief, our case was in the last aspect a rather common one. + +Every morning, with an air ever new, Herbert went into the City to look +about him. I often paid him a visit in the dark back-room in which +he consorted with an ink-jar, a hat-peg, a coal-box, a string-box, an +almanac, a desk and stool, and a ruler; and I do not remember that I +ever saw him do anything else but look about him. If we all did what +we undertake to do, as faithfully as Herbert did, we might live in a +Republic of the Virtues. He had nothing else to do, poor fellow, except +at a certain hour of every afternoon to "go to Lloyd's"--in observance +of a ceremony of seeing his principal, I think. He never did anything +else in connection with Lloyd's that I could find out, except come back +again. When he felt his case unusually serious, and that he positively +must find an opening, he would go on 'Change at a busy time, and walk in +and out, in a kind of gloomy country dance figure, among the assembled +magnates. "For," says Herbert to me, coming home to dinner on one +of those special occasions, "I find the truth to be, Handel, that an +opening won't come to one, but one must go to it,--so I have been." + +If we had been less attached to one another, I think we must have hated +one another regularly every morning. I detested the chambers beyond +expression at that period of repentance, and could not endure the +sight of the Avenger's livery; which had a more expensive and a +less remunerative appearance then than at any other time in the +four-and-twenty hours. As we got more and more into debt, breakfast +became a hollower and hollower form, and, being on one occasion at +breakfast-time threatened (by letter) with legal proceedings, "not +unwholly unconnected," as my local paper might put it, "with jewelery," +I went so far as to seize the Avenger by his blue collar and shake +him off his feet,--so that he was actually in the air, like a booted +Cupid,--for presuming to suppose that we wanted a roll. + +At certain times--meaning at uncertain times, for they depended on our +humor--I would say to Herbert, as if it were a remarkable discovery,-- + +"My dear Herbert, we are getting on badly." + +"My dear Handel," Herbert would say to me, in all sincerity, "if you will +believe me, those very words were on my lips, by a strange coincidence." + +"Then, Herbert," I would respond, "let us look into our affairs." + +We always derived profound satisfaction from making an appointment for +this purpose. I always thought this was business, this was the way to +confront the thing, this was the way to take the foe by the throat. And +I know Herbert thought so too. + +We ordered something rather special for dinner, with a bottle of +something similarly out of the common way, in order that our minds might +be fortified for the occasion, and we might come well up to the mark. +Dinner over, we produced a bundle of pens, a copious supply of ink, and +a goodly show of writing and blotting paper. For there was something +very comfortable in having plenty of stationery. + +I would then take a sheet of paper, and write across the top of it, in a +neat hand, the heading, "Memorandum of Pip's debts"; with Barnard's Inn +and the date very carefully added. Herbert would also take a sheet of +paper, and write across it with similar formalities, "Memorandum of +Herbert's debts." + +Each of us would then refer to a confused heap of papers at his side, +which had been thrown into drawers, worn into holes in pockets, half +burnt in lighting candles, stuck for weeks into the looking-glass, and +otherwise damaged. The sound of our pens going refreshed us exceedingly, +insomuch that I sometimes found it difficult to distinguish between this +edifying business proceeding and actually paying the money. In point of +meritorious character, the two things seemed about equal. + +When we had written a little while, I would ask Herbert how he got on? +Herbert probably would have been scratching his head in a most rueful +manner at the sight of his accumulating figures. + +"They are mounting up, Handel," Herbert would say; "upon my life, they +are mounting up." + +"Be firm, Herbert," I would retort, plying my own pen with great +assiduity. "Look the thing in the face. Look into your affairs. Stare +them out of countenance." + +"So I would, Handel, only they are staring me out of countenance." + +However, my determined manner would have its effect, and Herbert would +fall to work again. After a time he would give up once more, on the plea +that he had not got Cobbs's bill, or Lobbs's, or Nobbs's, as the case +might be. + +"Then, Herbert, estimate; estimate it in round numbers, and put it +down." + +"What a fellow of resource you are!" my friend would reply, with +admiration. "Really your business powers are very remarkable." + +I thought so too. I established with myself, on these occasions, +the reputation of a first-rate man of business,--prompt, decisive, +energetic, clear, cool-headed. When I had got all my responsibilities +down upon my list, I compared each with the bill, and ticked it off. My +self-approval when I ticked an entry was quite a luxurious sensation. +When I had no more ticks to make, I folded all my bills up uniformly, +docketed each on the back, and tied the whole into a symmetrical +bundle. Then I did the same for Herbert (who modestly said he had not my +administrative genius), and felt that I had brought his affairs into a +focus for him. + +My business habits had one other bright feature, which I called "leaving +a Margin." For example; supposing Herbert's debts to be one hundred and +sixty-four pounds four-and-twopence, I would say, "Leave a margin, and +put them down at two hundred." Or, supposing my own to be four times as +much, I would leave a margin, and put them down at seven hundred. I had +the highest opinion of the wisdom of this same Margin, but I am bound +to acknowledge that on looking back, I deem it to have been an expensive +device. For, we always ran into new debt immediately, to the full extent +of the margin, and sometimes, in the sense of freedom and solvency it +imparted, got pretty far on into another margin. + +But there was a calm, a rest, a virtuous hush, consequent on these +examinations of our affairs that gave me, for the time, an admirable +opinion of myself. Soothed by my exertions, my method, and Herbert's +compliments, I would sit with his symmetrical bundle and my own on the +table before me among the stationary, and feel like a Bank of some sort, +rather than a private individual. + +We shut our outer door on these solemn occasions, in order that we might +not be interrupted. I had fallen into my serene state one evening, when +we heard a letter dropped through the slit in the said door, and fall on +the ground. "It's for you, Handel," said Herbert, going out and coming +back with it, "and I hope there is nothing the matter." This was in +allusion to its heavy black seal and border. + +The letter was signed Trabb & Co., and its contents were simply, that +I was an honored sir, and that they begged to inform me that Mrs. J. +Gargery had departed this life on Monday last at twenty minutes past six +in the evening, and that my attendance was requested at the interment on +Monday next at three o'clock in the afternoon. + + + + +Chapter XXXV + +It was the first time that a grave had opened in my road of life, and +the gap it made in the smooth ground was wonderful. The figure of my +sister in her chair by the kitchen fire, haunted me night and day. That +the place could possibly be, without her, was something my mind seemed +unable to compass; and whereas she had seldom or never been in my +thoughts of late, I had now the strangest ideas that she was coming +towards me in the street, or that she would presently knock at the door. +In my rooms too, with which she had never been at all associated, there +was at once the blankness of death and a perpetual suggestion of the +sound of her voice or the turn of her face or figure, as if she were +still alive and had been often there. + +Whatever my fortunes might have been, I could scarcely have recalled my +sister with much tenderness. But I suppose there is a shock of regret +which may exist without much tenderness. Under its influence (and +perhaps to make up for the want of the softer feeling) I was seized with +a violent indignation against the assailant from whom she had suffered +so much; and I felt that on sufficient proof I could have revengefully +pursued Orlick, or any one else, to the last extremity. + +Having written to Joe, to offer him consolation, and to assure him +that I would come to the funeral, I passed the intermediate days in +the curious state of mind I have glanced at. I went down early in the +morning, and alighted at the Blue Boar in good time to walk over to the +forge. + +It was fine summer weather again, and, as I walked along, the times +when I was a little helpless creature, and my sister did not spare me, +vividly returned. But they returned with a gentle tone upon them that +softened even the edge of Tickler. For now, the very breath of the beans +and clover whispered to my heart that the day must come when it would +be well for my memory that others walking in the sunshine should be +softened as they thought of me. + +At last I came within sight of the house, and saw that Trabb and Co. had +put in a funereal execution and taken possession. Two dismally absurd +persons, each ostentatiously exhibiting a crutch done up in a black +bandage,--as if that instrument could possibly communicate any comfort +to anybody,--were posted at the front door; and in one of them I +recognized a postboy discharged from the Boar for turning a young couple +into a sawpit on their bridal morning, in consequence of intoxication +rendering it necessary for him to ride his horse clasped round the neck +with both arms. All the children of the village, and most of the women, +were admiring these sable warders and the closed windows of the house +and forge; and as I came up, one of the two warders (the postboy) +knocked at the door,--implying that I was far too much exhausted by +grief to have strength remaining to knock for myself. + +Another sable warder (a carpenter, who had once eaten two geese for a +wager) opened the door, and showed me into the best parlor. Here, Mr. +Trabb had taken unto himself the best table, and had got all the leaves +up, and was holding a kind of black Bazaar, with the aid of a quantity +of black pins. At the moment of my arrival, he had just finished putting +somebody's hat into black long-clothes, like an African baby; so he held +out his hand for mine. But I, misled by the action, and confused by the +occasion, shook hands with him with every testimony of warm affection. + +Poor dear Joe, entangled in a little black cloak tied in a large bow +under his chin, was seated apart at the upper end of the room; where, +as chief mourner, he had evidently been stationed by Trabb. When I bent +down and said to him, "Dear Joe, how are you?" he said, "Pip, old chap, +you knowed her when she were a fine figure of a--" and clasped my hand +and said no more. + +Biddy, looking very neat and modest in her black dress, went quietly +here and there, and was very helpful. When I had spoken to Biddy, as +I thought it not a time for talking I went and sat down near Joe, and +there began to wonder in what part of the house it--she--my sister--was. +The air of the parlor being faint with the smell of sweet-cake, I looked +about for the table of refreshments; it was scarcely visible until one +had got accustomed to the gloom, but there was a cut-up plum cake upon +it, and there were cut-up oranges, and sandwiches, and biscuits, and two +decanters that I knew very well as ornaments, but had never seen used +in all my life; one full of port, and one of sherry. Standing at this +table, I became conscious of the servile Pumblechook in a black cloak +and several yards of hatband, who was alternately stuffing himself, +and making obsequious movements to catch my attention. The moment he +succeeded, he came over to me (breathing sherry and crumbs), and said +in a subdued voice, "May I, dear sir?" and did. I then descried Mr. and +Mrs. Hubble; the last-named in a decent speechless paroxysm in a corner. +We were all going to "follow," and were all in course of being tied up +separately (by Trabb) into ridiculous bundles. + +"Which I meantersay, Pip," Joe whispered me, as we were being what Mr. +Trabb called "formed" in the parlor, two and two,--and it was dreadfully +like a preparation for some grim kind of dance; "which I meantersay, +sir, as I would in preference have carried her to the church myself, +along with three or four friendly ones wot come to it with willing harts +and arms, but it were considered wot the neighbors would look down on +such and would be of opinions as it were wanting in respect." + +"Pocket-handkerchiefs out, all!" cried Mr. Trabb at this point, in a +depressed business-like voice. "Pocket-handkerchiefs out! We are ready!" + +So we all put our pocket-handkerchiefs to our faces, as if our +noses were bleeding, and filed out two and two; Joe and I; Biddy and +Pumblechook; Mr. and Mrs. Hubble. The remains of my poor sister had been +brought round by the kitchen door, and, it being a point of Undertaking +ceremony that the six bearers must be stifled and blinded under a +horrible black velvet housing with a white border, the whole looked like +a blind monster with twelve human legs, shuffling and blundering along, +under the guidance of two keepers,--the postboy and his comrade. + +The neighborhood, however, highly approved of these arrangements, and we +were much admired as we went through the village; the more youthful and +vigorous part of the community making dashes now and then to cut us off, +and lying in wait to intercept us at points of vantage. At such times +the more exuberant among them called out in an excited manner on our +emergence round some corner of expectancy, "Here they come!" "Here they +are!" and we were all but cheered. In this progress I was much annoyed +by the abject Pumblechook, who, being behind me, persisted all the way +as a delicate attention in arranging my streaming hatband, and smoothing +my cloak. My thoughts were further distracted by the excessive pride of +Mr. and Mrs. Hubble, who were surpassingly conceited and vainglorious in +being members of so distinguished a procession. + +And now the range of marshes lay clear before us, with the sails of the +ships on the river growing out of it; and we went into the churchyard, +close to the graves of my unknown parents, Philip Pirrip, late of this +parish, and Also Georgiana, Wife of the Above. And there, my sister was +laid quietly in the earth, while the larks sang high above it, and the +light wind strewed it with beautiful shadows of clouds and trees. + +Of the conduct of the worldly minded Pumblechook while this was doing, +I desire to say no more than it was all addressed to me; and that even +when those noble passages were read which remind humanity how it brought +nothing into the world and can take nothing out, and how it fleeth like +a shadow and never continueth long in one stay, I heard him cough a +reservation of the case of a young gentleman who came unexpectedly into +large property. When we got back, he had the hardihood to tell me that +he wished my sister could have known I had done her so much honor, and +to hint that she would have considered it reasonably purchased at the +price of her death. After that, he drank all the rest of the sherry, +and Mr. Hubble drank the port, and the two talked (which I have since +observed to be customary in such cases) as if they were of quite another +race from the deceased, and were notoriously immortal. Finally, he went +away with Mr. and Mrs. Hubble,--to make an evening of it, I felt sure, +and to tell the Jolly Bargemen that he was the founder of my fortunes +and my earliest benefactor. + +When they were all gone, and when Trabb and his men--but not his Boy; I +looked for him--had crammed their mummery into bags, and were gone too, +the house felt wholesomer. Soon afterwards, Biddy, Joe, and I, had a +cold dinner together; but we dined in the best parlor, not in the old +kitchen, and Joe was so exceedingly particular what he did with his +knife and fork and the saltcellar and what not, that there was great +restraint upon us. But after dinner, when I made him take his pipe, +and when I had loitered with him about the forge, and when we sat down +together on the great block of stone outside it, we got on better. I +noticed that after the funeral Joe changed his clothes so far, as to +make a compromise between his Sunday dress and working dress; in which +the dear fellow looked natural, and like the Man he was. + +He was very much pleased by my asking if I might sleep in my own little +room, and I was pleased too; for I felt that I had done rather a great +thing in making the request. When the shadows of evening were closing +in, I took an opportunity of getting into the garden with Biddy for a +little talk. + +"Biddy," said I, "I think you might have written to me about these sad +matters." + +"Do you, Mr. Pip?" said Biddy. "I should have written if I had thought +that." + +"Don't suppose that I mean to be unkind, Biddy, when I say I consider +that you ought to have thought that." + +"Do you, Mr. Pip?" + +She was so quiet, and had such an orderly, good, and pretty way with +her, that I did not like the thought of making her cry again. After +looking a little at her downcast eyes as she walked beside me, I gave up +that point. + +"I suppose it will be difficult for you to remain here now, Biddy dear?" + +"Oh! I can't do so, Mr. Pip," said Biddy, in a tone of regret but still +of quiet conviction. "I have been speaking to Mrs. Hubble, and I am +going to her to-morrow. I hope we shall be able to take some care of Mr. +Gargery, together, until he settles down." + +"How are you going to live, Biddy? If you want any mo--" + +"How am I going to live?" repeated Biddy, striking in, with a momentary +flush upon her face. "I'll tell you, Mr. Pip. I am going to try to get +the place of mistress in the new school nearly finished here. I can be +well recommended by all the neighbors, and I hope I can be industrious +and patient, and teach myself while I teach others. You know, Mr. Pip," +pursued Biddy, with a smile, as she raised her eyes to my face, "the new +schools are not like the old, but I learnt a good deal from you after +that time, and have had time since then to improve." + +"I think you would always improve, Biddy, under any circumstances." + +"Ah! Except in my bad side of human nature," murmured Biddy. + +It was not so much a reproach as an irresistible thinking aloud. Well! +I thought I would give up that point too. So, I walked a little further +with Biddy, looking silently at her downcast eyes. + +"I have not heard the particulars of my sister's death, Biddy." + +"They are very slight, poor thing. She had been in one of her bad +states--though they had got better of late, rather than worse--for four +days, when she came out of it in the evening, just at tea-time, and said +quite plainly, 'Joe.' As she had never said any word for a long while, I +ran and fetched in Mr. Gargery from the forge. She made signs to me that +she wanted him to sit down close to her, and wanted me to put her arms +round his neck. So I put them round his neck, and she laid her head down +on his shoulder quite content and satisfied. And so she presently said +'Joe' again, and once 'Pardon,' and once 'Pip.' And so she never lifted +her head up any more, and it was just an hour later when we laid it down +on her own bed, because we found she was gone." + +Biddy cried; the darkening garden, and the lane, and the stars that were +coming out, were blurred in my own sight. + +"Nothing was ever discovered, Biddy?" + +"Nothing." + +"Do you know what is become of Orlick?" + +"I should think from the color of his clothes that he is working in the +quarries." + +"Of course you have seen him then?--Why are you looking at that dark +tree in the lane?" + +"I saw him there, on the night she died." + +"That was not the last time either, Biddy?" + +"No; I have seen him there, since we have been walking here.--It is of +no use," said Biddy, laying her hand upon my arm, as I was for running +out, "you know I would not deceive you; he was not there a minute, and +he is gone." + +It revived my utmost indignation to find that she was still pursued by +this fellow, and I felt inveterate against him. I told her so, and told +her that I would spend any money or take any pains to drive him out of +that country. By degrees she led me into more temperate talk, and she +told me how Joe loved me, and how Joe never complained of anything,--she +didn't say, of me; she had no need; I knew what she meant,--but ever did +his duty in his way of life, with a strong hand, a quiet tongue, and a +gentle heart. + +"Indeed, it would be hard to say too much for him," said I; "and Biddy, +we must often speak of these things, for of course I shall be often down +here now. I am not going to leave poor Joe alone." + +Biddy said never a single word. + +"Biddy, don't you hear me?" + +"Yes, Mr. Pip." + +"Not to mention your calling me Mr. Pip,--which appears to me to be in +bad taste, Biddy,--what do you mean?" + +"What do I mean?" asked Biddy, timidly. + +"Biddy," said I, in a virtuously self-asserting manner, "I must request +to know what you mean by this?" + +"By this?" said Biddy. + +"Now, don't echo," I retorted. "You used not to echo, Biddy." + +"Used not!" said Biddy. "O Mr. Pip! Used!" + +Well! I rather thought I would give up that point too. After another +silent turn in the garden, I fell back on the main position. + +"Biddy," said I, "I made a remark respecting my coming down here often, +to see Joe, which you received with a marked silence. Have the goodness, +Biddy, to tell me why." + +"Are you quite sure, then, that you WILL come to see him often?" asked +Biddy, stopping in the narrow garden walk, and looking at me under the +stars with a clear and honest eye. + +"O dear me!" said I, as if I found myself compelled to give up Biddy in +despair. "This really is a very bad side of human nature! Don't say any +more, if you please, Biddy. This shocks me very much." + +For which cogent reason I kept Biddy at a distance during supper, and +when I went up to my own old little room, took as stately a leave of her +as I could, in my murmuring soul, deem reconcilable with the churchyard +and the event of the day. As often as I was restless in the night, and +that was every quarter of an hour, I reflected what an unkindness, what +an injury, what an injustice, Biddy had done me. + +Early in the morning I was to go. Early in the morning I was out, and +looking in, unseen, at one of the wooden windows of the forge. There +I stood, for minutes, looking at Joe, already at work with a glow of +health and strength upon his face that made it show as if the bright sun +of the life in store for him were shining on it. + +"Good-bye, dear Joe!--No, don't wipe it off--for God's sake, give me your +blackened hand!--I shall be down soon and often." + +"Never too soon, sir," said Joe, "and never too often, Pip!" + +Biddy was waiting for me at the kitchen door, with a mug of new milk and +a crust of bread. "Biddy," said I, when I gave her my hand at parting, +"I am not angry, but I am hurt." + +"No, don't be hurt," she pleaded quite pathetically; "let only me be +hurt, if I have been ungenerous." + +Once more, the mists were rising as I walked away. If they disclosed to +me, as I suspect they did, that I should not come back, and that Biddy +was quite right, all I can say is,--they were quite right too. + + + + +Chapter XXXVI + +Herbert and I went on from bad to worse, in the way of increasing our +debts, looking into our affairs, leaving Margins, and the like exemplary +transactions; and Time went on, whether or no, as he has a way of doing; +and I came of age,--in fulfilment of Herbert's prediction, that I should +do so before I knew where I was. + +Herbert himself had come of age eight months before me. As he had +nothing else than his majority to come into, the event did not make a +profound sensation in Barnard's Inn. But we had looked forward to +my one-and-twentieth birthday, with a crowd of speculations and +anticipations, for we had both considered that my guardian could hardly +help saying something definite on that occasion. + +I had taken care to have it well understood in Little Britain when my +birthday was. On the day before it, I received an official note from +Wemmick, informing me that Mr. Jaggers would be glad if I would call +upon him at five in the afternoon of the auspicious day. This convinced +us that something great was to happen, and threw me into an unusual +flutter when I repaired to my guardian's office, a model of punctuality. + +In the outer office Wemmick offered me his congratulations, and +incidentally rubbed the side of his nose with a folded piece of +tissue-paper that I liked the look of. But he said nothing respecting +it, and motioned me with a nod into my guardian's room. It was November, +and my guardian was standing before his fire leaning his back against +the chimney-piece, with his hands under his coattails. + +"Well, Pip," said he, "I must call you Mr. Pip to-day. Congratulations, +Mr. Pip." + +We shook hands,--he was always a remarkably short shaker,--and I thanked +him. + +"Take a chair, Mr. Pip," said my guardian. + +As I sat down, and he preserved his attitude and bent his brows at his +boots, I felt at a disadvantage, which reminded me of that old time when +I had been put upon a tombstone. The two ghastly casts on the shelf +were not far from him, and their expression was as if they were making a +stupid apoplectic attempt to attend to the conversation. + +"Now my young friend," my guardian began, as if I were a witness in the +box, "I am going to have a word or two with you." + +"If you please, sir." + +"What do you suppose," said Mr. Jaggers, bending forward to look at the +ground, and then throwing his head back to look at the ceiling,--"what +do you suppose you are living at the rate of?" + +"At the rate of, sir?" + +"At," repeated Mr. Jaggers, still looking at the ceiling, +"the--rate--of?" And then looked all round the room, and paused with his +pocket-handkerchief in his hand, half-way to his nose. + +I had looked into my affairs so often, that I had thoroughly destroyed +any slight notion I might ever have had of their bearings. Reluctantly, +I confessed myself quite unable to answer the question. This reply +seemed agreeable to Mr. Jaggers, who said, "I thought so!" and blew his +nose with an air of satisfaction. + +"Now, I have asked you a question, my friend," said Mr. Jaggers. "Have +you anything to ask me?" + +"Of course it would be a great relief to me to ask you several +questions, sir; but I remember your prohibition." + +"Ask one," said Mr. Jaggers. + +"Is my benefactor to be made known to me to-day?" + +"No. Ask another." + +"Is that confidence to be imparted to me soon?" + +"Waive that, a moment," said Mr. Jaggers, "and ask another." + +I looked about me, but there appeared to be now no possible escape from +the inquiry, "Have-I--anything to receive, sir?" On that, Mr. Jaggers +said, triumphantly, "I thought we should come to it!" and called to +Wemmick to give him that piece of paper. Wemmick appeared, handed it in, +and disappeared. + +"Now, Mr. Pip," said Mr. Jaggers, "attend, if you please. You have been +drawing pretty freely here; your name occurs pretty often in Wemmick's +cash-book; but you are in debt, of course?" + +"I am afraid I must say yes, sir." + +"You know you must say yes; don't you?" said Mr. Jaggers. + +"Yes, sir." + +"I don't ask you what you owe, because you don't know; and if you did +know, you wouldn't tell me; you would say less. Yes, yes, my friend," +cried Mr. Jaggers, waving his forefinger to stop me as I made a show +of protesting: "it's likely enough that you think you wouldn't, but +you would. You'll excuse me, but I know better than you. Now, take this +piece of paper in your hand. You have got it? Very good. Now, unfold it +and tell me what it is." + +"This is a bank-note," said I, "for five hundred pounds." + +"That is a bank-note," repeated Mr. Jaggers, "for five hundred pounds. +And a very handsome sum of money too, I think. You consider it so?" + +"How could I do otherwise!" + +"Ah! But answer the question," said Mr. Jaggers. + +"Undoubtedly." + +"You consider it, undoubtedly, a handsome sum of money. Now, that +handsome sum of money, Pip, is your own. It is a present to you on this +day, in earnest of your expectations. And at the rate of that handsome +sum of money per annum, and at no higher rate, you are to live until the +donor of the whole appears. That is to say, you will now take your money +affairs entirely into your own hands, and you will draw from Wemmick +one hundred and twenty-five pounds per quarter, until you are in +communication with the fountain-head, and no longer with the mere +agent. As I have told you before, I am the mere agent. I execute my +instructions, and I am paid for doing so. I think them injudicious, but +I am not paid for giving any opinion on their merits." + +I was beginning to express my gratitude to my benefactor for the great +liberality with which I was treated, when Mr. Jaggers stopped me. "I am +not paid, Pip," said he, coolly, "to carry your words to any one;" and +then gathered up his coat-tails, as he had gathered up the subject, and +stood frowning at his boots as if he suspected them of designs against +him. + +After a pause, I hinted,-- + +"There was a question just now, Mr. Jaggers, which you desired me to +waive for a moment. I hope I am doing nothing wrong in asking it again?" + +"What is it?" said he. + +I might have known that he would never help me out; but it took me aback +to have to shape the question afresh, as if it were quite new. "Is it +likely," I said, after hesitating, "that my patron, the fountain-head +you have spoken of, Mr. Jaggers, will soon--" there I delicately +stopped. + +"Will soon what?" asked Mr. Jaggers. "That's no question as it stands, +you know." + +"Will soon come to London," said I, after casting about for a precise +form of words, "or summon me anywhere else?" + +"Now, here," replied Mr. Jaggers, fixing me for the first time with +his dark deep-set eyes, "we must revert to the evening when we first +encountered one another in your village. What did I tell you then, Pip?" + +"You told me, Mr. Jaggers, that it might be years hence when that person +appeared." + +"Just so," said Mr. Jaggers, "that's my answer." + +As we looked full at one another, I felt my breath come quicker in my +strong desire to get something out of him. And as I felt that it came +quicker, and as I felt that he saw that it came quicker, I felt that I +had less chance than ever of getting anything out of him. + +"Do you suppose it will still be years hence, Mr. Jaggers?" + +Mr. Jaggers shook his head,--not in negativing the question, but in +altogether negativing the notion that he could anyhow be got to answer +it,--and the two horrible casts of the twitched faces looked, when +my eyes strayed up to them, as if they had come to a crisis in their +suspended attention, and were going to sneeze. + +"Come!" said Mr. Jaggers, warming the backs of his legs with the backs +of his warmed hands, "I'll be plain with you, my friend Pip. That's a +question I must not be asked. You'll understand that better, when I tell +you it's a question that might compromise me. Come! I'll go a little +further with you; I'll say something more." + +He bent down so low to frown at his boots, that he was able to rub the +calves of his legs in the pause he made. + +"When that person discloses," said Mr. Jaggers, straightening himself, +"you and that person will settle your own affairs. When that person +discloses, my part in this business will cease and determine. When that +person discloses, it will not be necessary for me to know anything about +it. And that's all I have got to say." + +We looked at one another until I withdrew my eyes, and looked +thoughtfully at the floor. From this last speech I derived the notion +that Miss Havisham, for some reason or no reason, had not taken him +into her confidence as to her designing me for Estella; that he resented +this, and felt a jealousy about it; or that he really did object to +that scheme, and would have nothing to do with it. When I raised my eyes +again, I found that he had been shrewdly looking at me all the time, and +was doing so still. + +"If that is all you have to say, sir," I remarked, "there can be nothing +left for me to say." + +He nodded assent, and pulled out his thief-dreaded watch, and asked me +where I was going to dine? I replied at my own chambers, with Herbert. +As a necessary sequence, I asked him if he would favor us with his +company, and he promptly accepted the invitation. But he insisted on +walking home with me, in order that I might make no extra preparation +for him, and first he had a letter or two to write, and (of course) had +his hands to wash. So I said I would go into the outer office and talk +to Wemmick. + +The fact was, that when the five hundred pounds had come into my pocket, +a thought had come into my head which had been often there before; +and it appeared to me that Wemmick was a good person to advise with +concerning such thought. + +He had already locked up his safe, and made preparations for going home. +He had left his desk, brought out his two greasy office candlesticks and +stood them in line with the snuffers on a slab near the door, ready to +be extinguished; he had raked his fire low, put his hat and great-coat +ready, and was beating himself all over the chest with his safe-key, as +an athletic exercise after business. + +"Mr. Wemmick," said I, "I want to ask your opinion. I am very desirous +to serve a friend." + +Wemmick tightened his post-office and shook his head, as if his opinion +were dead against any fatal weakness of that sort. + +"This friend," I pursued, "is trying to get on in commercial life, +but has no money, and finds it difficult and disheartening to make a +beginning. Now I want somehow to help him to a beginning." + +"With money down?" said Wemmick, in a tone drier than any sawdust. + +"With some money down," I replied, for an uneasy remembrance shot across +me of that symmetrical bundle of papers at home--"with some money down, +and perhaps some anticipation of my expectations." + +"Mr. Pip," said Wemmick, "I should like just to run over with you on my +fingers, if you please, the names of the various bridges up as high +as Chelsea Reach. Let's see; there's London, one; Southwark, two; +Blackfriars, three; Waterloo, four; Westminster, five; Vauxhall, six." +He had checked off each bridge in its turn, with the handle of his +safe-key on the palm of his hand. "There's as many as six, you see, to +choose from." + +"I don't understand you," said I. + +"Choose your bridge, Mr. Pip," returned Wemmick, "and take a walk upon +your bridge, and pitch your money into the Thames over the centre arch +of your bridge, and you know the end of it. Serve a friend with it, and +you may know the end of it too,--but it's a less pleasant and profitable +end." + +I could have posted a newspaper in his mouth, he made it so wide after +saying this. + +"This is very discouraging," said I. + +"Meant to be so," said Wemmick. + +"Then is it your opinion," I inquired, with some little indignation, +"that a man should never--" + +"--Invest portable property in a friend?" said Wemmick. "Certainly +he should not. Unless he wants to get rid of the friend,--and then it +becomes a question how much portable property it may be worth to get rid +of him." + +"And that," said I, "is your deliberate opinion, Mr. Wemmick?" + +"That," he returned, "is my deliberate opinion in this office." + +"Ah!" said I, pressing him, for I thought I saw him near a loophole +here; "but would that be your opinion at Walworth?" + +"Mr. Pip," he replied, with gravity, "Walworth is one place, and this +office is another. Much as the Aged is one person, and Mr. Jaggers is +another. They must not be confounded together. My Walworth sentiments +must be taken at Walworth; none but my official sentiments can be taken +in this office." + +"Very well," said I, much relieved, "then I shall look you up at +Walworth, you may depend upon it." + +"Mr. Pip," he returned, "you will be welcome there, in a private and +personal capacity." + +We had held this conversation in a low voice, well knowing my guardian's +ears to be the sharpest of the sharp. As he now appeared in his doorway, +towelling his hands, Wemmick got on his great-coat and stood by to snuff +out the candles. We all three went into the street together, and from +the door-step Wemmick turned his way, and Mr. Jaggers and I turned ours. + +I could not help wishing more than once that evening, that Mr. Jaggers +had had an Aged in Gerrard Street, or a Stinger, or a Something, or +a Somebody, to unbend his brows a little. It was an uncomfortable +consideration on a twenty-first birthday, that coming of age at all +seemed hardly worth while in such a guarded and suspicious world as he +made of it. He was a thousand times better informed and cleverer than +Wemmick, and yet I would a thousand times rather have had Wemmick to +dinner. And Mr. Jaggers made not me alone intensely melancholy, because, +after he was gone, Herbert said of himself, with his eyes fixed on the +fire, that he thought he must have committed a felony and forgotten the +details of it, he felt so dejected and guilty. + + + + +Chapter XXXVII + +Deeming Sunday the best day for taking Mr. Wemmick's Walworth +sentiments, I devoted the next ensuing Sunday afternoon to a pilgrimage +to the Castle. On arriving before the battlements, I found the Union +Jack flying and the drawbridge up; but undeterred by this show of +defiance and resistance, I rang at the gate, and was admitted in a most +pacific manner by the Aged. + +"My son, sir," said the old man, after securing the drawbridge, "rather +had it in his mind that you might happen to drop in, and he left word +that he would soon be home from his afternoon's walk. He is very regular +in his walks, is my son. Very regular in everything, is my son." + +I nodded at the old gentleman as Wemmick himself might have nodded, and +we went in and sat down by the fireside. + +"You made acquaintance with my son, sir," said the old man, in his +chirping way, while he warmed his hands at the blaze, "at his office, I +expect?" I nodded. "Hah! I have heerd that my son is a wonderful hand at +his business, sir?" I nodded hard. "Yes; so they tell me. His business +is the Law?" I nodded harder. "Which makes it more surprising in my +son," said the old man, "for he was not brought up to the Law, but to +the Wine-Coopering." + +Curious to know how the old gentleman stood informed concerning the +reputation of Mr. Jaggers, I roared that name at him. He threw me into +the greatest confusion by laughing heartily and replying in a very +sprightly manner, "No, to be sure; you're right." And to this hour I +have not the faintest notion what he meant, or what joke he thought I +had made. + +As I could not sit there nodding at him perpetually, without making +some other attempt to interest him, I shouted at inquiry whether his own +calling in life had been "the Wine-Coopering." By dint of straining that +term out of myself several times and tapping the old gentleman on the +chest to associate it with him, I at last succeeded in making my meaning +understood. + +"No," said the old gentleman; "the warehousing, the warehousing. First, +over yonder;" he appeared to mean up the chimney, but I believe he +intended to refer me to Liverpool; "and then in the City of London here. +However, having an infirmity--for I am hard of hearing, sir--" + +I expressed in pantomime the greatest astonishment. + +"--Yes, hard of hearing; having that infirmity coming upon me, my son he +went into the Law, and he took charge of me, and he by little and little +made out this elegant and beautiful property. But returning to what you +said, you know," pursued the old man, again laughing heartily, "what I +say is, No to be sure; you're right." + +I was modestly wondering whether my utmost ingenuity would have enabled +me to say anything that would have amused him half as much as this +imaginary pleasantry, when I was startled by a sudden click in the wall +on one side of the chimney, and the ghostly tumbling open of a little +wooden flap with "JOHN" upon it. The old man, following my eyes, cried +with great triumph, "My son's come home!" and we both went out to the +drawbridge. + +It was worth any money to see Wemmick waving a salute to me from the +other side of the moat, when we might have shaken hands across it with +the greatest ease. The Aged was so delighted to work the drawbridge, +that I made no offer to assist him, but stood quiet until Wemmick had +come across, and had presented me to Miss Skiffins; a lady by whom he +was accompanied. + +Miss Skiffins was of a wooden appearance, and was, like her escort, in +the post-office branch of the service. She might have been some two or +three years younger than Wemmick, and I judged her to stand possessed +of portable property. The cut of her dress from the waist upward, both +before and behind, made her figure very like a boy's kite; and I might +have pronounced her gown a little too decidedly orange, and her gloves a +little too intensely green. But she seemed to be a good sort of fellow, +and showed a high regard for the Aged. I was not long in discovering +that she was a frequent visitor at the Castle; for, on our going in, +and my complimenting Wemmick on his ingenious contrivance for announcing +himself to the Aged, he begged me to give my attention for a moment to +the other side of the chimney, and disappeared. Presently another click +came, and another little door tumbled open with "Miss Skiffins" on it; +then Miss Skiffins shut up and John tumbled open; then Miss Skiffins +and John both tumbled open together, and finally shut up together. On +Wemmick's return from working these mechanical appliances, I expressed +the great admiration with which I regarded them, and he said, "Well, you +know, they're both pleasant and useful to the Aged. And by George, sir, +it's a thing worth mentioning, that of all the people who come to +this gate, the secret of those pulls is only known to the Aged, Miss +Skiffins, and me!" + +"And Mr. Wemmick made them," added Miss Skiffins, "with his own hands +out of his own head." + +While Miss Skiffins was taking off her bonnet (she retained her green +gloves during the evening as an outward and visible sign that there was +company), Wemmick invited me to take a walk with him round the property, +and see how the island looked in wintertime. Thinking that he did this +to give me an opportunity of taking his Walworth sentiments, I seized +the opportunity as soon as we were out of the Castle. + +Having thought of the matter with care, I approached my subject as if I +had never hinted at it before. I informed Wemmick that I was anxious in +behalf of Herbert Pocket, and I told him how we had first met, and how +we had fought. I glanced at Herbert's home, and at his character, and +at his having no means but such as he was dependent on his father for; +those, uncertain and unpunctual. I alluded to the advantages I had +derived in my first rawness and ignorance from his society, and I +confessed that I feared I had but ill repaid them, and that he might +have done better without me and my expectations. Keeping Miss Havisham +in the background at a great distance, I still hinted at the possibility +of my having competed with him in his prospects, and at the certainty of +his possessing a generous soul, and being far above any mean distrusts, +retaliations, or designs. For all these reasons (I told Wemmick), +and because he was my young companion and friend, and I had a great +affection for him, I wished my own good fortune to reflect some rays +upon him, and therefore I sought advice from Wemmick's experience and +knowledge of men and affairs, how I could best try with my resources to +help Herbert to some present income,--say of a hundred a year, to keep +him in good hope and heart,--and gradually to buy him on to some small +partnership. I begged Wemmick, in conclusion, to understand that my help +must always be rendered without Herbert's knowledge or suspicion, and +that there was no one else in the world with whom I could advise. I +wound up by laying my hand upon his shoulder, and saying, "I can't help +confiding in you, though I know it must be troublesome to you; but that +is your fault, in having ever brought me here." + +Wemmick was silent for a little while, and then said with a kind of +start, "Well you know, Mr. Pip, I must tell you one thing. This is +devilish good of you." + +"Say you'll help me to be good then," said I. + +"Ecod," replied Wemmick, shaking his head, "that's not my trade." + +"Nor is this your trading-place," said I. + +"You are right," he returned. "You hit the nail on the head. Mr. Pip, +I'll put on my considering-cap, and I think all you want to do may be +done by degrees. Skiffins (that's her brother) is an accountant and +agent. I'll look him up and go to work for you." + +"I thank you ten thousand times." + +"On the contrary," said he, "I thank you, for though we are strictly in +our private and personal capacity, still it may be mentioned that there +are Newgate cobwebs about, and it brushes them away." + +After a little further conversation to the same effect, we returned into +the Castle where we found Miss Skiffins preparing tea. The responsible +duty of making the toast was delegated to the Aged, and that excellent +old gentleman was so intent upon it that he seemed to me in some danger +of melting his eyes. It was no nominal meal that we were going to make, +but a vigorous reality. The Aged prepared such a hay-stack of buttered +toast, that I could scarcely see him over it as it simmered on an iron +stand hooked on to the top-bar; while Miss Skiffins brewed such a jorum +of tea, that the pig in the back premises became strongly excited, and +repeatedly expressed his desire to participate in the entertainment. + +The flag had been struck, and the gun had been fired, at the right +moment of time, and I felt as snugly cut off from the rest of Walworth +as if the moat were thirty feet wide by as many deep. Nothing disturbed +the tranquillity of the Castle, but the occasional tumbling open of +John and Miss Skiffins: which little doors were a prey to some spasmodic +infirmity that made me sympathetically uncomfortable until I got used +to it. I inferred from the methodical nature of Miss Skiffins's +arrangements that she made tea there every Sunday night; and I rather +suspected that a classic brooch she wore, representing the profile of an +undesirable female with a very straight nose and a very new moon, was a +piece of portable property that had been given her by Wemmick. + +We ate the whole of the toast, and drank tea in proportion, and it was +delightful to see how warm and greasy we all got after it. The Aged +especially, might have passed for some clean old chief of a savage +tribe, just oiled. After a short pause of repose, Miss Skiffins--in the +absence of the little servant who, it seemed, retired to the bosom of +her family on Sunday afternoons--washed up the tea-things, in a trifling +lady-like amateur manner that compromised none of us. Then, she put on +her gloves again, and we drew round the fire, and Wemmick said, "Now, +Aged Parent, tip us the paper." + +Wemmick explained to me while the Aged got his spectacles out, that this +was according to custom, and that it gave the old gentleman infinite +satisfaction to read the news aloud. "I won't offer an apology," said +Wemmick, "for he isn't capable of many pleasures--are you, Aged P.?" + +"All right, John, all right," returned the old man, seeing himself +spoken to. + +"Only tip him a nod every now and then when he looks off his paper," +said Wemmick, "and he'll be as happy as a king. We are all attention, +Aged One." + +"All right, John, all right!" returned the cheerful old man, so busy and +so pleased, that it really was quite charming. + +The Aged's reading reminded me of the classes at Mr. Wopsle's +great-aunt's, with the pleasanter peculiarity that it seemed to come +through a keyhole. As he wanted the candles close to him, and as he was +always on the verge of putting either his head or the newspaper into +them, he required as much watching as a powder-mill. But Wemmick was +equally untiring and gentle in his vigilance, and the Aged read on, +quite unconscious of his many rescues. Whenever he looked at us, we +all expressed the greatest interest and amazement, and nodded until he +resumed again. + +As Wemmick and Miss Skiffins sat side by side, and as I sat in a shadowy +corner, I observed a slow and gradual elongation of Mr. Wemmick's mouth, +powerfully suggestive of his slowly and gradually stealing his arm round +Miss Skiffins's waist. In course of time I saw his hand appear on the +other side of Miss Skiffins; but at that moment Miss Skiffins neatly +stopped him with the green glove, unwound his arm again as if it were +an article of dress, and with the greatest deliberation laid it on the +table before her. Miss Skiffins's composure while she did this was one +of the most remarkable sights I have ever seen, and if I could have +thought the act consistent with abstraction of mind, I should have +deemed that Miss Skiffins performed it mechanically. + +By and by, I noticed Wemmick's arm beginning to disappear again, and +gradually fading out of view. Shortly afterwards, his mouth began to +widen again. After an interval of suspense on my part that was quite +enthralling and almost painful, I saw his hand appear on the other side +of Miss Skiffins. Instantly, Miss Skiffins stopped it with the neatness +of a placid boxer, took off that girdle or cestus as before, and laid +it on the table. Taking the table to represent the path of virtue, I am +justified in stating that during the whole time of the Aged's reading, +Wemmick's arm was straying from the path of virtue and being recalled to +it by Miss Skiffins. + +At last, the Aged read himself into a light slumber. This was the time +for Wemmick to produce a little kettle, a tray of glasses, and a +black bottle with a porcelain-topped cork, representing some clerical +dignitary of a rubicund and social aspect. With the aid of these +appliances we all had something warm to drink, including the Aged, who +was soon awake again. Miss Skiffins mixed, and I observed that she and +Wemmick drank out of one glass. Of course I knew better than to offer to +see Miss Skiffins home, and under the circumstances I thought I had best +go first; which I did, taking a cordial leave of the Aged, and having +passed a pleasant evening. + +Before a week was out, I received a note from Wemmick, dated Walworth, +stating that he hoped he had made some advance in that matter +appertaining to our private and personal capacities, and that he would +be glad if I could come and see him again upon it. So, I went out +to Walworth again, and yet again, and yet again, and I saw him by +appointment in the City several times, but never held any communication +with him on the subject in or near Little Britain. The upshot was, +that we found a worthy young merchant or shipping-broker, not long +established in business, who wanted intelligent help, and who wanted +capital, and who in due course of time and receipt would want a partner. +Between him and me, secret articles were signed of which Herbert was the +subject, and I paid him half of my five hundred pounds down, and engaged +for sundry other payments: some, to fall due at certain dates out of my +income: some, contingent on my coming into my property. Miss Skiffins's +brother conducted the negotiation. Wemmick pervaded it throughout, but +never appeared in it. + +The whole business was so cleverly managed, that Herbert had not the +least suspicion of my hand being in it. I never shall forget the radiant +face with which he came home one afternoon, and told me, as a mighty +piece of news, of his having fallen in with one Clarriker (the young +merchant's name), and of Clarriker's having shown an extraordinary +inclination towards him, and of his belief that the opening had come at +last. Day by day as his hopes grew stronger and his face brighter, he +must have thought me a more and more affectionate friend, for I had the +greatest difficulty in restraining my tears of triumph when I saw him so +happy. At length, the thing being done, and he having that day entered +Clarriker's House, and he having talked to me for a whole evening in a +flush of pleasure and success, I did really cry in good earnest when +I went to bed, to think that my expectations had done some good to +somebody. + +A great event in my life, the turning point of my life, now opens on my +view. But, before I proceed to narrate it, and before I pass on to all +the changes it involved, I must give one chapter to Estella. It is not +much to give to the theme that so long filled my heart. + + + + +Chapter XXXVIII + +If that staid old house near the Green at Richmond should ever come to +be haunted when I am dead, it will be haunted, surely, by my ghost. O +the many, many nights and days through which the unquiet spirit within +me haunted that house when Estella lived there! Let my body be where it +would, my spirit was always wandering, wandering, wandering, about that +house. + +The lady with whom Estella was placed, Mrs. Brandley by name, was a +widow, with one daughter several years older than Estella. The mother +looked young, and the daughter looked old; the mother's complexion was +pink, and the daughter's was yellow; the mother set up for frivolity, +and the daughter for theology. They were in what is called a good +position, and visited, and were visited by, numbers of people. Little, +if any, community of feeling subsisted between them and Estella, but the +understanding was established that they were necessary to her, and +that she was necessary to them. Mrs. Brandley had been a friend of Miss +Havisham's before the time of her seclusion. + +In Mrs. Brandley's house and out of Mrs. Brandley's house, I suffered +every kind and degree of torture that Estella could cause me. The +nature of my relations with her, which placed me on terms of familiarity +without placing me on terms of favor, conduced to my distraction. +She made use of me to tease other admirers, and she turned the very +familiarity between herself and me to the account of putting a constant +slight on my devotion to her. If I had been her secretary, steward, +half-brother, poor relation,--if I had been a younger brother of her +appointed husband,--I could not have seemed to myself further from my +hopes when I was nearest to her. The privilege of calling her by her +name and hearing her call me by mine became, under the circumstances +an aggravation of my trials; and while I think it likely that it almost +maddened her other lovers, I know too certainly that it almost maddened +me. + +She had admirers without end. No doubt my jealousy made an admirer of +every one who went near her; but there were more than enough of them +without that. + +I saw her often at Richmond, I heard of her often in town, and I used +often to take her and the Brandleys on the water; there were picnics, +fete days, plays, operas, concerts, parties, all sorts of pleasures, +through which I pursued her,--and they were all miseries to me. I never +had one hour's happiness in her society, and yet my mind all round the +four-and-twenty hours was harping on the happiness of having her with me +unto death. + +Throughout this part of our intercourse,--and it lasted, as will +presently be seen, for what I then thought a long time,--she habitually +reverted to that tone which expressed that our association was forced +upon us. There were other times when she would come to a sudden check in +this tone and in all her many tones, and would seem to pity me. + +"Pip, Pip," she said one evening, coming to such a check, when we sat +apart at a darkening window of the house in Richmond; "will you never +take warning?" + +"Of what?" + +"Of me." + +"Warning not to be attracted by you, do you mean, Estella?" + +"Do I mean! If you don't know what I mean, you are blind." + +I should have replied that Love was commonly reputed blind, but for the +reason that I always was restrained--and this was not the least of my +miseries--by a feeling that it was ungenerous to press myself upon her, +when she knew that she could not choose but obey Miss Havisham. My +dread always was, that this knowledge on her part laid me under a heavy +disadvantage with her pride, and made me the subject of a rebellious +struggle in her bosom. + +"At any rate," said I, "I have no warning given me just now, for you +wrote to me to come to you, this time." + +"That's true," said Estella, with a cold careless smile that always +chilled me. + +After looking at the twilight without, for a little while, she went on +to say:-- + +"The time has come round when Miss Havisham wishes to have me for a day +at Satis. You are to take me there, and bring me back, if you will. She +would rather I did not travel alone, and objects to receiving my maid, +for she has a sensitive horror of being talked of by such people. Can +you take me?" + +"Can I take you, Estella!" + +"You can then? The day after to-morrow, if you please. You are to pay +all charges out of my purse, You hear the condition of your going?" + +"And must obey," said I. + +This was all the preparation I received for that visit, or for others +like it; Miss Havisham never wrote to me, nor had I ever so much as seen +her handwriting. We went down on the next day but one, and we found her +in the room where I had first beheld her, and it is needless to add that +there was no change in Satis House. + +She was even more dreadfully fond of Estella than she had been when +I last saw them together; I repeat the word advisedly, for there was +something positively dreadful in the energy of her looks and embraces. +She hung upon Estella's beauty, hung upon her words, hung upon her +gestures, and sat mumbling her own trembling fingers while she looked at +her, as though she were devouring the beautiful creature she had reared. + +From Estella she looked at me, with a searching glance that seemed to +pry into my heart and probe its wounds. "How does she use you, Pip; how +does she use you?" she asked me again, with her witch-like eagerness, +even in Estella's hearing. But, when we sat by her flickering fire +at night, she was most weird; for then, keeping Estella's hand drawn +through her arm and clutched in her own hand, she extorted from her, +by dint of referring back to what Estella had told her in her regular +letters, the names and conditions of the men whom she had fascinated; +and as Miss Havisham dwelt upon this roll, with the intensity of a mind +mortally hurt and diseased, she sat with her other hand on her crutch +stick, and her chin on that, and her wan bright eyes glaring at me, a +very spectre. + +I saw in this, wretched though it made me, and bitter the sense of +dependence and even of degradation that it awakened,--I saw in this that +Estella was set to wreak Miss Havisham's revenge on men, and that she +was not to be given to me until she had gratified it for a term. I saw +in this, a reason for her being beforehand assigned to me. Sending her +out to attract and torment and do mischief, Miss Havisham sent her with +the malicious assurance that she was beyond the reach of all admirers, +and that all who staked upon that cast were secured to lose. I saw in +this that I, too, was tormented by a perversion of ingenuity, even while +the prize was reserved for me. I saw in this the reason for my being +staved off so long and the reason for my late guardian's declining to +commit himself to the formal knowledge of such a scheme. In a word, I +saw in this Miss Havisham as I had her then and there before my eyes, +and always had had her before my eyes; and I saw in this, the distinct +shadow of the darkened and unhealthy house in which her life was hidden +from the sun. + +The candles that lighted that room of hers were placed in sconces on +the wall. They were high from the ground, and they burnt with the steady +dulness of artificial light in air that is seldom renewed. As I looked +round at them, and at the pale gloom they made, and at the stopped +clock, and at the withered articles of bridal dress upon the table and +the ground, and at her own awful figure with its ghostly reflection +thrown large by the fire upon the ceiling and the wall, I saw in +everything the construction that my mind had come to, repeated and +thrown back to me. My thoughts passed into the great room across the +landing where the table was spread, and I saw it written, as it were, in +the falls of the cobwebs from the centre-piece, in the crawlings of the +spiders on the cloth, in the tracks of the mice as they betook their +little quickened hearts behind the panels, and in the gropings and +pausings of the beetles on the floor. + +It happened on the occasion of this visit that some sharp words arose +between Estella and Miss Havisham. It was the first time I had ever seen +them opposed. + +We were seated by the fire, as just now described, and Miss Havisham +still had Estella's arm drawn through her own, and still clutched +Estella's hand in hers, when Estella gradually began to detach herself. +She had shown a proud impatience more than once before, and had rather +endured that fierce affection than accepted or returned it. + +"What!" said Miss Havisham, flashing her eyes upon her, "are you tired +of me?" + +"Only a little tired of myself," replied Estella, disengaging her arm, +and moving to the great chimney-piece, where she stood looking down at +the fire. + +"Speak the truth, you ingrate!" cried Miss Havisham, passionately +striking her stick upon the floor; "you are tired of me." + +Estella looked at her with perfect composure, and again looked down +at the fire. Her graceful figure and her beautiful face expressed a +self-possessed indifference to the wild heat of the other, that was +almost cruel. + +"You stock and stone!" exclaimed Miss Havisham. "You cold, cold heart!" + +"What?" said Estella, preserving her attitude of indifference as she +leaned against the great chimney-piece and only moving her eyes; "do you +reproach me for being cold? You?" + +"Are you not?" was the fierce retort. + +"You should know," said Estella. "I am what you have made me. Take +all the praise, take all the blame; take all the success, take all the +failure; in short, take me." + +"O, look at her, look at her!" cried Miss Havisham, bitterly; "Look at +her so hard and thankless, on the hearth where she was reared! Where I +took her into this wretched breast when it was first bleeding from its +stabs, and where I have lavished years of tenderness upon her!" + +"At least I was no party to the compact," said Estella, "for if I could +walk and speak, when it was made, it was as much as I could do. But what +would you have? You have been very good to me, and I owe everything to +you. What would you have?" + +"Love," replied the other. + +"You have it." + +"I have not," said Miss Havisham. + +"Mother by adoption," retorted Estella, never departing from the easy +grace of her attitude, never raising her voice as the other did, never +yielding either to anger or tenderness,--"mother by adoption, I have +said that I owe everything to you. All I possess is freely yours. All +that you have given me, is at your command to have again. Beyond that, I +have nothing. And if you ask me to give you, what you never gave me, my +gratitude and duty cannot do impossibilities." + +"Did I never give her love!" cried Miss Havisham, turning wildly to me. +"Did I never give her a burning love, inseparable from jealousy at all +times, and from sharp pain, while she speaks thus to me! Let her call me +mad, let her call me mad!" + +"Why should I call you mad," returned Estella, "I, of all people? Does +any one live, who knows what set purposes you have, half as well as I +do? Does any one live, who knows what a steady memory you have, half +as well as I do? I who have sat on this same hearth on the little stool +that is even now beside you there, learning your lessons and looking up +into your face, when your face was strange and frightened me!" + +"Soon forgotten!" moaned Miss Havisham. "Times soon forgotten!" + +"No, not forgotten," retorted Estella,--"not forgotten, but treasured up +in my memory. When have you found me false to your teaching? When have +you found me unmindful of your lessons? When have you found me giving +admission here," she touched her bosom with her hand, "to anything that +you excluded? Be just to me." + +"So proud, so proud!" moaned Miss Havisham, pushing away her gray hair +with both her hands. + +"Who taught me to be proud?" returned Estella. "Who praised me when I +learnt my lesson?" + +"So hard, so hard!" moaned Miss Havisham, with her former action. + +"Who taught me to be hard?" returned Estella. "Who praised me when I +learnt my lesson?" + +"But to be proud and hard to me!" Miss Havisham quite shrieked, as she +stretched out her arms. "Estella, Estella, Estella, to be proud and hard +to me!" + +Estella looked at her for a moment with a kind of calm wonder, but was +not otherwise disturbed; when the moment was past, she looked down at +the fire again. + +"I cannot think," said Estella, raising her eyes after a silence "why +you should be so unreasonable when I come to see you after a separation. +I have never forgotten your wrongs and their causes. I have never been +unfaithful to you or your schooling. I have never shown any weakness +that I can charge myself with." + +"Would it be weakness to return my love?" exclaimed Miss Havisham. "But +yes, yes, she would call it so!" + +"I begin to think," said Estella, in a musing way, after another moment +of calm wonder, "that I almost understand how this comes about. If you +had brought up your adopted daughter wholly in the dark confinement of +these rooms, and had never let her know that there was such a thing as +the daylight by which she had never once seen your face,--if you had +done that, and then, for a purpose had wanted her to understand the +daylight and know all about it, you would have been disappointed and +angry?" + +Miss Havisham, with her head in her hands, sat making a low moaning, and +swaying herself on her chair, but gave no answer. + +"Or," said Estella,--"which is a nearer case,--if you had taught her, +from the dawn of her intelligence, with your utmost energy and might, +that there was such a thing as daylight, but that it was made to be her +enemy and destroyer, and she must always turn against it, for it had +blighted you and would else blight her;--if you had done this, and then, +for a purpose, had wanted her to take naturally to the daylight and she +could not do it, you would have been disappointed and angry?" + +Miss Havisham sat listening (or it seemed so, for I could not see her +face), but still made no answer. + +"So," said Estella, "I must be taken as I have been made. The success is +not mine, the failure is not mine, but the two together make me." + +Miss Havisham had settled down, I hardly knew how, upon the floor, among +the faded bridal relics with which it was strewn. I took advantage of +the moment--I had sought one from the first--to leave the room, after +beseeching Estella's attention to her, with a movement of my hand. When +I left, Estella was yet standing by the great chimney-piece, just as she +had stood throughout. Miss Havisham's gray hair was all adrift upon the +ground, among the other bridal wrecks, and was a miserable sight to see. + +It was with a depressed heart that I walked in the starlight for an +hour and more, about the courtyard, and about the brewery, and about +the ruined garden. When I at last took courage to return to the room, I +found Estella sitting at Miss Havisham's knee, taking up some stitches +in one of those old articles of dress that were dropping to pieces, and +of which I have often been reminded since by the faded tatters of old +banners that I have seen hanging up in cathedrals. Afterwards, Estella +and I played at cards, as of yore,--only we were skilful now, and played +French games,--and so the evening wore away, and I went to bed. + +I lay in that separate building across the courtyard. It was the first +time I had ever lain down to rest in Satis House, and sleep refused to +come near me. A thousand Miss Havishams haunted me. She was on this side +of my pillow, on that, at the head of the bed, at the foot, behind the +half-opened door of the dressing-room, in the dressing-room, in the room +overhead, in the room beneath,--everywhere. At last, when the night was +slow to creep on towards two o'clock, I felt that I absolutely could no +longer bear the place as a place to lie down in, and that I must get up. +I therefore got up and put on my clothes, and went out across the yard +into the long stone passage, designing to gain the outer courtyard and +walk there for the relief of my mind. But I was no sooner in the passage +than I extinguished my candle; for I saw Miss Havisham going along it +in a ghostly manner, making a low cry. I followed her at a distance, +and saw her go up the staircase. She carried a bare candle in her hand, +which she had probably taken from one of the sconces in her own room, +and was a most unearthly object by its light. Standing at the bottom +of the staircase, I felt the mildewed air of the feast-chamber, without +seeing her open the door, and I heard her walking there, and so across +into her own room, and so across again into that, never ceasing the low +cry. After a time, I tried in the dark both to get out, and to go back, +but I could do neither until some streaks of day strayed in and showed +me where to lay my hands. During the whole interval, whenever I went to +the bottom of the staircase, I heard her footstep, saw her light pass +above, and heard her ceaseless low cry. + +Before we left next day, there was no revival of the difference between +her and Estella, nor was it ever revived on any similar occasion; and +there were four similar occasions, to the best of my remembrance. Nor, +did Miss Havisham's manner towards Estella in anywise change, except +that I believed it to have something like fear infused among its former +characteristics. + +It is impossible to turn this leaf of my life, without putting Bentley +Drummle's name upon it; or I would, very gladly. + +On a certain occasion when the Finches were assembled in force, and when +good feeling was being promoted in the usual manner by nobody's agreeing +with anybody else, the presiding Finch called the Grove to order, +forasmuch as Mr. Drummle had not yet toasted a lady; which, according +to the solemn constitution of the society, it was the brute's turn to +do that day. I thought I saw him leer in an ugly way at me while the +decanters were going round, but as there was no love lost between us, +that might easily be. What was my indignant surprise when he called upon +the company to pledge him to "Estella!" + +"Estella who?" said I. + +"Never you mind," retorted Drummle. + +"Estella of where?" said I. "You are bound to say of where." Which he +was, as a Finch. + +"Of Richmond, gentlemen," said Drummle, putting me out of the question, +"and a peerless beauty." + +Much he knew about peerless beauties, a mean, miserable idiot! I +whispered Herbert. + +"I know that lady," said Herbert, across the table, when the toast had +been honored. + +"Do you?" said Drummle. + +"And so do I," I added, with a scarlet face. + +"Do you?" said Drummle. "O, Lord!" + +This was the only retort--except glass or crockery--that the heavy +creature was capable of making; but, I became as highly incensed by it +as if it had been barbed with wit, and I immediately rose in my place +and said that I could not but regard it as being like the honorable +Finch's impudence to come down to that Grove,--we always talked +about coming down to that Grove, as a neat Parliamentary turn of +expression,--down to that Grove, proposing a lady of whom he knew +nothing. Mr. Drummle, upon this, starting up, demanded what I meant by +that? Whereupon I made him the extreme reply that I believed he knew +where I was to be found. + +Whether it was possible in a Christian country to get on without blood, +after this, was a question on which the Finches were divided. The debate +upon it grew so lively, indeed, that at least six more honorable members +told six more, during the discussion, that they believed they knew where +they were to be found. However, it was decided at last (the Grove being +a Court of Honor) that if Mr. Drummle would bring never so slight +a certificate from the lady, importing that he had the honor of her +acquaintance, Mr. Pip must express his regret, as a gentleman and a +Finch, for "having been betrayed into a warmth which." Next day was +appointed for the production (lest our honor should take cold from +delay), and next day Drummle appeared with a polite little avowal in +Estella's hand, that she had had the honor of dancing with him several +times. This left me no course but to regret that I had been "betrayed +into a warmth which," and on the whole to repudiate, as untenable, the +idea that I was to be found anywhere. Drummle and I then sat snorting +at one another for an hour, while the Grove engaged in indiscriminate +contradiction, and finally the promotion of good feeling was declared to +have gone ahead at an amazing rate. + +I tell this lightly, but it was no light thing to me. For, I cannot +adequately express what pain it gave me to think that Estella should +show any favor to a contemptible, clumsy, sulky booby, so very far below +the average. To the present moment, I believe it to have been referable +to some pure fire of generosity and disinterestedness in my love for +her, that I could not endure the thought of her stooping to that hound. +No doubt I should have been miserable whomsoever she had favored; but +a worthier object would have caused me a different kind and degree of +distress. + +It was easy for me to find out, and I did soon find out, that Drummle +had begun to follow her closely, and that she allowed him to do it. A +little while, and he was always in pursuit of her, and he and I crossed +one another every day. He held on, in a dull persistent way, and Estella +held him on; now with encouragement, now with discouragement, now almost +flattering him, now openly despising him, now knowing him very well, now +scarcely remembering who he was. + +The Spider, as Mr. Jaggers had called him, was used to lying in wait, +however, and had the patience of his tribe. Added to that, he had a +blockhead confidence in his money and in his family greatness, +which sometimes did him good service,--almost taking the place of +concentration and determined purpose. So, the Spider, doggedly watching +Estella, outwatched many brighter insects, and would often uncoil +himself and drop at the right nick of time. + +At a certain Assembly Ball at Richmond (there used to be Assembly Balls +at most places then), where Estella had outshone all other beauties, +this blundering Drummle so hung about her, and with so much toleration +on her part, that I resolved to speak to her concerning him. I took the +next opportunity; which was when she was waiting for Mrs. Blandley to +take her home, and was sitting apart among some flowers, ready to go. +I was with her, for I almost always accompanied them to and from such +places. + +"Are you tired, Estella?" + +"Rather, Pip." + +"You should be." + +"Say rather, I should not be; for I have my letter to Satis House to +write, before I go to sleep." + +"Recounting to-night's triumph?" said I. "Surely a very poor one, +Estella." + +"What do you mean? I didn't know there had been any." + +"Estella," said I, "do look at that fellow in the corner yonder, who is +looking over here at us." + +"Why should I look at him?" returned Estella, with her eyes on me +instead. "What is there in that fellow in the corner yonder,--to use +your words,--that I need look at?" + +"Indeed, that is the very question I want to ask you," said I. "For he +has been hovering about you all night." + +"Moths, and all sorts of ugly creatures," replied Estella, with a glance +towards him, "hover about a lighted candle. Can the candle help it?" + +"No," I returned; "but cannot the Estella help it?" + +"Well!" said she, laughing, after a moment, "perhaps. Yes. Anything you +like." + +"But, Estella, do hear me speak. It makes me wretched that you should +encourage a man so generally despised as Drummle. You know he is +despised." + +"Well?" said she. + +"You know he is as ungainly within as without. A deficient, +ill-tempered, lowering, stupid fellow." + +"Well?" said she. + +"You know he has nothing to recommend him but money and a ridiculous +roll of addle-headed predecessors; now, don't you?" + +"Well?" said she again; and each time she said it, she opened her lovely +eyes the wider. + +To overcome the difficulty of getting past that monosyllable, I took it +from her, and said, repeating it with emphasis, "Well! Then, that is why +it makes me wretched." + +Now, if I could have believed that she favored Drummle with any idea of +making me-me--wretched, I should have been in better heart about it; +but in that habitual way of hers, she put me so entirely out of the +question, that I could believe nothing of the kind. + +"Pip," said Estella, casting her glance over the room, "don't be foolish +about its effect on you. It may have its effect on others, and may be +meant to have. It's not worth discussing." + +"Yes it is," said I, "because I cannot bear that people should say, 'she +throws away her graces and attractions on a mere boor, the lowest in the +crowd.'" + +"I can bear it," said Estella. + +"Oh! don't be so proud, Estella, and so inflexible." + +"Calls me proud and inflexible in this breath!" said Estella, opening +her hands. "And in his last breath reproached me for stooping to a +boor!" + +"There is no doubt you do," said I, something hurriedly, "for I have +seen you give him looks and smiles this very night, such as you never +give to--me." + +"Do you want me then," said Estella, turning suddenly with a fixed and +serious, if not angry, look, "to deceive and entrap you?" + +"Do you deceive and entrap him, Estella?" + +"Yes, and many others,--all of them but you. Here is Mrs. Brandley. I'll +say no more." + +* * * + +And now that I have given the one chapter to the theme that so filled my +heart, and so often made it ache and ache again, I pass on unhindered, +to the event that had impended over me longer yet; the event that had +begun to be prepared for, before I knew that the world held Estella, +and in the days when her baby intelligence was receiving its first +distortions from Miss Havisham's wasting hands. + +In the Eastern story, the heavy slab that was to fall on the bed of +state in the flush of conquest was slowly wrought out of the quarry, the +tunnel for the rope to hold it in its place was slowly carried through +the leagues of rock, the slab was slowly raised and fitted in the roof, +the rope was rove to it and slowly taken through the miles of hollow to +the great iron ring. All being made ready with much labor, and the hour +come, the sultan was aroused in the dead of the night, and the sharpened +axe that was to sever the rope from the great iron ring was put into his +hand, and he struck with it, and the rope parted and rushed away, and +the ceiling fell. So, in my case; all the work, near and afar, that +tended to the end, had been accomplished; and in an instant the blow was +struck, and the roof of my stronghold dropped upon me. + + + + +Chapter XXXIX + +I was three-and-twenty years of age. Not another word had I heard to +enlighten me on the subject of my expectations, and my twenty-third +birthday was a week gone. We had left Barnard's Inn more than a year, +and lived in the Temple. Our chambers were in Garden-court, down by the +river. + +Mr. Pocket and I had for some time parted company as to our original +relations, though we continued on the best terms. Notwithstanding my +inability to settle to anything,--which I hope arose out of the restless +and incomplete tenure on which I held my means,--I had a taste for +reading, and read regularly so many hours a day. That matter of +Herbert's was still progressing, and everything with me was as I have +brought it down to the close of the last preceding chapter. + +Business had taken Herbert on a journey to Marseilles. I was alone, and +had a dull sense of being alone. Dispirited and anxious, long hoping +that to-morrow or next week would clear my way, and long disappointed, I +sadly missed the cheerful face and ready response of my friend. + +It was wretched weather; stormy and wet, stormy and wet; and mud, mud, +mud, deep in all the streets. Day after day, a vast heavy veil had been +driving over London from the East, and it drove still, as if in the East +there were an Eternity of cloud and wind. So furious had been the gusts, +that high buildings in town had had the lead stripped off their roofs; +and in the country, trees had been torn up, and sails of windmills +carried away; and gloomy accounts had come in from the coast, of +shipwreck and death. Violent blasts of rain had accompanied these rages +of wind, and the day just closed as I sat down to read had been the +worst of all. + +Alterations have been made in that part of the Temple since that time, +and it has not now so lonely a character as it had then, nor is it so +exposed to the river. We lived at the top of the last house, and the +wind rushing up the river shook the house that night, like discharges +of cannon, or breakings of a sea. When the rain came with it and dashed +against the windows, I thought, raising my eyes to them as they +rocked, that I might have fancied myself in a storm-beaten lighthouse. +Occasionally, the smoke came rolling down the chimney as though it could +not bear to go out into such a night; and when I set the doors open and +looked down the staircase, the staircase lamps were blown out; and when +I shaded my face with my hands and looked through the black windows +(opening them ever so little was out of the question in the teeth of +such wind and rain), I saw that the lamps in the court were blown out, +and that the lamps on the bridges and the shore were shuddering, and +that the coal-fires in barges on the river were being carried away +before the wind like red-hot splashes in the rain. + +I read with my watch upon the table, purposing to close my book +at eleven o'clock. As I shut it, Saint Paul's, and all the many +church-clocks in the City--some leading, some accompanying, some +following--struck that hour. The sound was curiously flawed by the wind; +and I was listening, and thinking how the wind assailed and tore it, +when I heard a footstep on the stair. + +What nervous folly made me start, and awfully connect it with the +footstep of my dead sister, matters not. It was past in a moment, and I +listened again, and heard the footstep stumble in coming on. +Remembering then, that the staircase-lights were blown out, I took up +my reading-lamp and went out to the stair-head. Whoever was below had +stopped on seeing my lamp, for all was quiet. + +"There is some one down there, is there not?" I called out, looking +down. + +"Yes," said a voice from the darkness beneath. + +"What floor do you want?" + +"The top. Mr. Pip." + +"That is my name.--There is nothing the matter?" + +"Nothing the matter," returned the voice. And the man came on. + +I stood with my lamp held out over the stair-rail, and he came slowly +within its light. It was a shaded lamp, to shine upon a book, and its +circle of light was very contracted; so that he was in it for a mere +instant, and then out of it. In the instant, I had seen a face that was +strange to me, looking up with an incomprehensible air of being touched +and pleased by the sight of me. + +Moving the lamp as the man moved, I made out that he was substantially +dressed, but roughly, like a voyager by sea. That he had long iron-gray +hair. That his age was about sixty. That he was a muscular man, strong +on his legs, and that he was browned and hardened by exposure to +weather. As he ascended the last stair or two, and the light of my lamp +included us both, I saw, with a stupid kind of amazement, that he was +holding out both his hands to me. + +"Pray what is your business?" I asked him. + +"My business?" he repeated, pausing. "Ah! Yes. I will explain my +business, by your leave." + +"Do you wish to come in?" + +"Yes," he replied; "I wish to come in, master." + +I had asked him the question inhospitably enough, for I resented the +sort of bright and gratified recognition that still shone in his face. +I resented it, because it seemed to imply that he expected me to respond +to it. But I took him into the room I had just left, and, having set the +lamp on the table, asked him as civilly as I could to explain himself. + +He looked about him with the strangest air,--an air of wondering +pleasure, as if he had some part in the things he admired,--and he +pulled off a rough outer coat, and his hat. Then, I saw that his head +was furrowed and bald, and that the long iron-gray hair grew only on +its sides. But, I saw nothing that in the least explained him. On the +contrary, I saw him next moment, once more holding out both his hands to +me. + +"What do you mean?" said I, half suspecting him to be mad. + +He stopped in his looking at me, and slowly rubbed his right hand over +his head. "It's disapinting to a man," he said, in a coarse broken +voice, "arter having looked for'ard so distant, and come so fur; but +you're not to blame for that,--neither on us is to blame for that. I'll +speak in half a minute. Give me half a minute, please." + +He sat down on a chair that stood before the fire, and covered his +forehead with his large brown veinous hands. I looked at him attentively +then, and recoiled a little from him; but I did not know him. + +"There's no one nigh," said he, looking over his shoulder; "is there?" + +"Why do you, a stranger coming into my rooms at this time of the night, +ask that question?" said I. + +"You're a game one," he returned, shaking his head at me with a +deliberate affection, at once most unintelligible and most exasperating; +"I'm glad you've grow'd up, a game one! But don't catch hold of me. +You'd be sorry arterwards to have done it." + +I relinquished the intention he had detected, for I knew him! Even yet +I could not recall a single feature, but I knew him! If the wind and +the rain had driven away the intervening years, had scattered all the +intervening objects, had swept us to the churchyard where we first stood +face to face on such different levels, I could not have known my convict +more distinctly than I knew him now as he sat in the chair before the +fire. No need to take a file from his pocket and show it to me; no need +to take the handkerchief from his neck and twist it round his head; no +need to hug himself with both his arms, and take a shivering turn across +the room, looking back at me for recognition. I knew him before he gave +me one of those aids, though, a moment before, I had not been conscious +of remotely suspecting his identity. + +He came back to where I stood, and again held out both his hands. +Not knowing what to do,--for, in my astonishment I had lost my +self-possession,--I reluctantly gave him my hands. He grasped them +heartily, raised them to his lips, kissed them, and still held them. + +"You acted noble, my boy," said he. "Noble, Pip! And I have never forgot +it!" + +At a change in his manner as if he were even going to embrace me, I laid +a hand upon his breast and put him away. + +"Stay!" said I. "Keep off! If you are grateful to me for what I did when +I was a little child, I hope you have shown your gratitude by mending +your way of life. If you have come here to thank me, it was not +necessary. Still, however you have found me out, there must be something +good in the feeling that has brought you here, and I will not repulse +you; but surely you must understand that--I--" + +My attention was so attracted by the singularity of his fixed look at +me, that the words died away on my tongue. + +"You was a saying," he observed, when we had confronted one another +in silence, "that surely I must understand. What, surely must I +understand?" + +"That I cannot wish to renew that chance intercourse with you of long +ago, under these different circumstances. I am glad to believe you have +repented and recovered yourself. I am glad to tell you so. I am glad +that, thinking I deserve to be thanked, you have come to thank me. But +our ways are different ways, none the less. You are wet, and you look +weary. Will you drink something before you go?" + +He had replaced his neckerchief loosely, and had stood, keenly observant +of me, biting a long end of it. "I think," he answered, still with the +end at his mouth and still observant of me, "that I will drink (I thank +you) afore I go." + +There was a tray ready on a side-table. I brought it to the table +near the fire, and asked him what he would have? He touched one of the +bottles without looking at it or speaking, and I made him some hot rum +and water. I tried to keep my hand steady while I did so, but his look +at me as he leaned back in his chair with the long draggled end of his +neckerchief between his teeth--evidently forgotten--made my hand very +difficult to master. When at last I put the glass to him, I saw with +amazement that his eyes were full of tears. + +Up to this time I had remained standing, not to disguise that I wished +him gone. But I was softened by the softened aspect of the man, and felt +a touch of reproach. "I hope," said I, hurriedly putting something into +a glass for myself, and drawing a chair to the table, "that you will not +think I spoke harshly to you just now. I had no intention of doing it, +and I am sorry for it if I did. I wish you well and happy!" + +As I put my glass to my lips, he glanced with surprise at the end of his +neckerchief, dropping from his mouth when he opened it, and stretched +out his hand. I gave him mine, and then he drank, and drew his sleeve +across his eyes and forehead. + +"How are you living?" I asked him. + +"I've been a sheep-farmer, stock-breeder, other trades besides, away in +the new world," said he; "many a thousand mile of stormy water off from +this." + +"I hope you have done well?" + +"I've done wonderfully well. There's others went out alonger me as has +done well too, but no man has done nigh as well as me. I'm famous for +it." + +"I am glad to hear it." + +"I hope to hear you say so, my dear boy." + +Without stopping to try to understand those words or the tone in which +they were spoken, I turned off to a point that had just come into my +mind. + +"Have you ever seen a messenger you once sent to me," I inquired, "since +he undertook that trust?" + +"Never set eyes upon him. I warn't likely to it." + +"He came faithfully, and he brought me the two one-pound notes. I was +a poor boy then, as you know, and to a poor boy they were a little +fortune. But, like you, I have done well since, and you must let me pay +them back. You can put them to some other poor boy's use." I took out my +purse. + +He watched me as I laid my purse upon the table and opened it, and he +watched me as I separated two one-pound notes from its contents. They +were clean and new, and I spread them out and handed them over to +him. Still watching me, he laid them one upon the other, folded them +long-wise, gave them a twist, set fire to them at the lamp, and dropped +the ashes into the tray. + +"May I make so bold," he said then, with a smile that was like a frown, +and with a frown that was like a smile, "as ask you how you have done +well, since you and me was out on them lone shivering marshes?" + +"How?" + +"Ah!" + +He emptied his glass, got up, and stood at the side of the fire, with +his heavy brown hand on the mantel-shelf. He put a foot up to the bars, +to dry and warm it, and the wet boot began to steam; but, he neither +looked at it, nor at the fire, but steadily looked at me. It was only +now that I began to tremble. + +When my lips had parted, and had shaped some words that were +without sound, I forced myself to tell him (though I could not do it +distinctly), that I had been chosen to succeed to some property. + +"Might a mere warmint ask what property?" said he. + +I faltered, "I don't know." + +"Might a mere warmint ask whose property?" said he. + +I faltered again, "I don't know." + +"Could I make a guess, I wonder," said the Convict, "at your income +since you come of age! As to the first figure now. Five?" + +With my heart beating like a heavy hammer of disordered action, I rose +out of my chair, and stood with my hand upon the back of it, looking +wildly at him. + +"Concerning a guardian," he went on. "There ought to have been some +guardian, or such-like, whiles you was a minor. Some lawyer, maybe. As +to the first letter of that lawyer's name now. Would it be J?" + +All the truth of my position came flashing on me; and its +disappointments, dangers, disgraces, consequences of all kinds, rushed +in in such a multitude that I was borne down by them and had to struggle +for every breath I drew. + +"Put it," he resumed, "as the employer of that lawyer whose name begun +with a J, and might be Jaggers,--put it as he had come over sea to +Portsmouth, and had landed there, and had wanted to come on to you. +'However, you have found me out,' you says just now. Well! However, did +I find you out? Why, I wrote from Portsmouth to a person in London, for +particulars of your address. That person's name? Why, Wemmick." + +I could not have spoken one word, though it had been to save my life. +I stood, with a hand on the chair-back and a hand on my breast, where +I seemed to be suffocating,--I stood so, looking wildly at him, until I +grasped at the chair, when the room began to surge and turn. He caught +me, drew me to the sofa, put me up against the cushions, and bent on one +knee before me, bringing the face that I now well remembered, and that I +shuddered at, very near to mine. + +"Yes, Pip, dear boy, I've made a gentleman on you! It's me wot has +done it! I swore that time, sure as ever I earned a guinea, that guinea +should go to you. I swore arterwards, sure as ever I spec'lated and got +rich, you should get rich. I lived rough, that you should live smooth; +I worked hard, that you should be above work. What odds, dear boy? Do I +tell it, fur you to feel a obligation? Not a bit. I tell it, fur you to +know as that there hunted dunghill dog wot you kep life in, got his head +so high that he could make a gentleman,--and, Pip, you're him!" + +The abhorrence in which I held the man, the dread I had of him, the +repugnance with which I shrank from him, could not have been exceeded if +he had been some terrible beast. + +"Look'ee here, Pip. I'm your second father. You're my son,--more to me +nor any son. I've put away money, only for you to spend. When I was a +hired-out shepherd in a solitary hut, not seeing no faces but faces of +sheep till I half forgot wot men's and women's faces wos like, I see +yourn. I drops my knife many a time in that hut when I was a-eating my +dinner or my supper, and I says, 'Here's the boy again, a looking at +me whiles I eats and drinks!' I see you there a many times, as plain as +ever I see you on them misty marshes. 'Lord strike me dead!' I says each +time,--and I goes out in the air to say it under the open heavens,--'but +wot, if I gets liberty and money, I'll make that boy a gentleman!' And +I done it. Why, look at you, dear boy! Look at these here lodgings +o'yourn, fit for a lord! A lord? Ah! You shall show money with lords for +wagers, and beat 'em!" + +In his heat and triumph, and in his knowledge that I had been nearly +fainting, he did not remark on my reception of all this. It was the one +grain of relief I had. + +"Look'ee here!" he went on, taking my watch out of my pocket, and +turning towards him a ring on my finger, while I recoiled from his +touch as if he had been a snake, "a gold 'un and a beauty: that's a +gentleman's, I hope! A diamond all set round with rubies; that's a +gentleman's, I hope! Look at your linen; fine and beautiful! Look at +your clothes; better ain't to be got! And your books too," turning his +eyes round the room, "mounting up, on their shelves, by hundreds! And +you read 'em; don't you? I see you'd been a reading of 'em when I come +in. Ha, ha, ha! You shall read 'em to me, dear boy! And if they're in +foreign languages wot I don't understand, I shall be just as proud as if +I did." + +Again he took both my hands and put them to his lips, while my blood ran +cold within me. + +"Don't you mind talking, Pip," said he, after again drawing his sleeve +over his eyes and forehead, as the click came in his throat which I well +remembered,--and he was all the more horrible to me that he was so much +in earnest; "you can't do better nor keep quiet, dear boy. You ain't +looked slowly forward to this as I have; you wosn't prepared for this as +I wos. But didn't you never think it might be me?" + +"O no, no, no," I returned, "Never, never!" + +"Well, you see it wos me, and single-handed. Never a soul in it but my +own self and Mr. Jaggers." + +"Was there no one else?" I asked. + +"No," said he, with a glance of surprise: "who else should there be? +And, dear boy, how good looking you have growed! There's bright eyes +somewheres--eh? Isn't there bright eyes somewheres, wot you love the +thoughts on?" + +O Estella, Estella! + +"They shall be yourn, dear boy, if money can buy 'em. Not that a +gentleman like you, so well set up as you, can't win 'em off of his own +game; but money shall back you! Let me finish wot I was a telling you, +dear boy. From that there hut and that there hiring-out, I got money +left me by my master (which died, and had been the same as me), and got +my liberty and went for myself. In every single thing I went for, I went +for you. 'Lord strike a blight upon it,' I says, wotever it was I went +for, 'if it ain't for him!' It all prospered wonderful. As I giv' you +to understand just now, I'm famous for it. It was the money left me, and +the gains of the first few year wot I sent home to Mr. Jaggers--all for +you--when he first come arter you, agreeable to my letter." + +O that he had never come! That he had left me at the forge,--far from +contented, yet, by comparison happy! + +"And then, dear boy, it was a recompense to me, look'ee here, to know in +secret that I was making a gentleman. The blood horses of them colonists +might fling up the dust over me as I was walking; what do I say? I says +to myself, 'I'm making a better gentleman nor ever you'll be!' When +one of 'em says to another, 'He was a convict, a few year ago, and is a +ignorant common fellow now, for all he's lucky,' what do I say? I says +to myself, 'If I ain't a gentleman, nor yet ain't got no learning, I'm +the owner of such. All on you owns stock and land; which on you owns a +brought-up London gentleman?' This way I kep myself a going. And this +way I held steady afore my mind that I would for certain come one day +and see my boy, and make myself known to him, on his own ground." + +He laid his hand on my shoulder. I shuddered at the thought that for +anything I knew, his hand might be stained with blood. + +"It warn't easy, Pip, for me to leave them parts, nor yet it warn't +safe. But I held to it, and the harder it was, the stronger I held, for +I was determined, and my mind firm made up. At last I done it. Dear boy, +I done it!" + +I tried to collect my thoughts, but I was stunned. Throughout, I had +seemed to myself to attend more to the wind and the rain than to him; +even now, I could not separate his voice from those voices, though those +were loud and his was silent. + +"Where will you put me?" he asked, presently. "I must be put somewheres, +dear boy." + +"To sleep?" said I. + +"Yes. And to sleep long and sound," he answered; "for I've been +sea-tossed and sea-washed, months and months." + +"My friend and companion," said I, rising from the sofa, "is absent; you +must have his room." + +"He won't come back to-morrow; will he?" + +"No," said I, answering almost mechanically, in spite of my utmost +efforts; "not to-morrow." + +"Because, look'ee here, dear boy," he said, dropping his voice, and +laying a long finger on my breast in an impressive manner, "caution is +necessary." + +"How do you mean? Caution?" + +"By G----, it's Death!" + +"What's death?" + +"I was sent for life. It's death to come back. There's been overmuch +coming back of late years, and I should of a certainty be hanged if +took." + +Nothing was needed but this; the wretched man, after loading wretched me +with his gold and silver chains for years, had risked his life to come +to me, and I held it there in my keeping! If I had loved him instead +of abhorring him; if I had been attracted to him by the strongest +admiration and affection, instead of shrinking from him with the +strongest repugnance; it could have been no worse. On the contrary, it +would have been better, for his preservation would then have naturally +and tenderly addressed my heart. + +My first care was to close the shutters, so that no light might be seen +from without, and then to close and make fast the doors. While I did so, +he stood at the table drinking rum and eating biscuit; and when I saw +him thus engaged, I saw my convict on the marshes at his meal again. It +almost seemed to me as if he must stoop down presently, to file at his +leg. + +When I had gone into Herbert's room, and had shut off any other +communication between it and the staircase than through the room in +which our conversation had been held, I asked him if he would go to bed? +He said yes, but asked me for some of my "gentleman's linen" to put +on in the morning. I brought it out, and laid it ready for him, and my +blood again ran cold when he again took me by both hands to give me good +night. + +I got away from him, without knowing how I did it, and mended the fire +in the room where we had been together, and sat down by it, afraid to go +to bed. For an hour or more, I remained too stunned to think; and it +was not until I began to think, that I began fully to know how wrecked I +was, and how the ship in which I had sailed was gone to pieces. + +Miss Havisham's intentions towards me, all a mere dream; Estella not +designed for me; I only suffered in Satis House as a convenience, a +sting for the greedy relations, a model with a mechanical heart to +practise on when no other practice was at hand; those were the first +smarts I had. But, sharpest and deepest pain of all,--it was for the +convict, guilty of I knew not what crimes, and liable to be taken out +of those rooms where I sat thinking, and hanged at the Old Bailey door, +that I had deserted Joe. + +I would not have gone back to Joe now, I would not have gone back to +Biddy now, for any consideration; simply, I suppose, because my sense of +my own worthless conduct to them was greater than every consideration. +No wisdom on earth could have given me the comfort that I should have +derived from their simplicity and fidelity; but I could never, never, +undo what I had done. + +In every rage of wind and rush of rain, I heard pursuers. Twice, I could +have sworn there was a knocking and whispering at the outer door. With +these fears upon me, I began either to imagine or recall that I had had +mysterious warnings of this man's approach. That, for weeks gone by, I +had passed faces in the streets which I had thought like his. That these +likenesses had grown more numerous, as he, coming over the sea, had +drawn nearer. That his wicked spirit had somehow sent these messengers +to mine, and that now on this stormy night he was as good as his word, +and with me. + +Crowding up with these reflections came the reflection that I had seen +him with my childish eyes to be a desperately violent man; that I had +heard that other convict reiterate that he had tried to murder him; that +I had seen him down in the ditch tearing and fighting like a wild +beast. Out of such remembrances I brought into the light of the fire a +half-formed terror that it might not be safe to be shut up there with +him in the dead of the wild solitary night. This dilated until it filled +the room, and impelled me to take a candle and go in and look at my +dreadful burden. + +He had rolled a handkerchief round his head, and his face was set and +lowering in his sleep. But he was asleep, and quietly too, though he had +a pistol lying on the pillow. Assured of this, I softly removed the key +to the outside of his door, and turned it on him before I again sat down +by the fire. Gradually I slipped from the chair and lay on the floor. +When I awoke without having parted in my sleep with the perception of +my wretchedness, the clocks of the Eastward churches were striking five, +the candles were wasted out, the fire was dead, and the wind and rain +intensified the thick black darkness. + +THIS IS THE END OF THE SECOND STAGE OF PIP'S EXPECTATIONS. + + + + +Chapter XL + +It was fortunate for me that I had to take precautions to ensure (so far +as I could) the safety of my dreaded visitor; for, this thought pressing +on me when I awoke, held other thoughts in a confused concourse at a +distance. + +The impossibility of keeping him concealed in the chambers was +self-evident. It could not be done, and the attempt to do it would +inevitably engender suspicion. True, I had no Avenger in my service now, +but I was looked after by an inflammatory old female, assisted by an +animated rag-bag whom she called her niece, and to keep a room secret +from them would be to invite curiosity and exaggeration. They both had +weak eyes, which I had long attributed to their chronically looking in +at keyholes, and they were always at hand when not wanted; indeed that +was their only reliable quality besides larceny. Not to get up a mystery +with these people, I resolved to announce in the morning that my uncle +had unexpectedly come from the country. + +This course I decided on while I was yet groping about in the darkness +for the means of getting a light. Not stumbling on the means after all, +I was fain to go out to the adjacent Lodge and get the watchman there to +come with his lantern. Now, in groping my way down the black staircase I +fell over something, and that something was a man crouching in a corner. + +As the man made no answer when I asked him what he did there, but eluded +my touch in silence, I ran to the Lodge and urged the watchman to come +quickly; telling him of the incident on the way back. The wind being as +fierce as ever, we did not care to endanger the light in the lantern by +rekindling the extinguished lamps on the staircase, but we examined the +staircase from the bottom to the top and found no one there. It then +occurred to me as possible that the man might have slipped into my +rooms; so, lighting my candle at the watchman's, and leaving him +standing at the door, I examined them carefully, including the room in +which my dreaded guest lay asleep. All was quiet, and assuredly no other +man was in those chambers. + +It troubled me that there should have been a lurker on the stairs, on +that night of all nights in the year, and I asked the watchman, on the +chance of eliciting some hopeful explanation as I handed him a dram +at the door, whether he had admitted at his gate any gentleman who had +perceptibly been dining out? Yes, he said; at different times of the +night, three. One lived in Fountain Court, and the other two lived in +the Lane, and he had seen them all go home. Again, the only other man +who dwelt in the house of which my chambers formed a part had been in +the country for some weeks, and he certainly had not returned in the +night, because we had seen his door with his seal on it as we came +upstairs. + +"The night being so bad, sir," said the watchman, as he gave me back +my glass, "uncommon few have come in at my gate. Besides them three +gentlemen that I have named, I don't call to mind another since about +eleven o'clock, when a stranger asked for you." + +"My uncle," I muttered. "Yes." + +"You saw him, sir?" + +"Yes. Oh yes." + +"Likewise the person with him?" + +"Person with him!" I repeated. + +"I judged the person to be with him," returned the watchman. "The person +stopped, when he stopped to make inquiry of me, and the person took this +way when he took this way." + +"What sort of person?" + +The watchman had not particularly noticed; he should say a working +person; to the best of his belief, he had a dust-colored kind of clothes +on, under a dark coat. The watchman made more light of the matter than I +did, and naturally; not having my reason for attaching weight to it. + +When I had got rid of him, which I thought it well to do without +prolonging explanations, my mind was much troubled by these two +circumstances taken together. Whereas they were easy of innocent +solution apart,--as, for instance, some diner out or diner at home, +who had not gone near this watchman's gate, might have strayed to my +staircase and dropped asleep there,--and my nameless visitor might have +brought some one with him to show him the way,--still, joined, they had +an ugly look to one as prone to distrust and fear as the changes of a +few hours had made me. + +I lighted my fire, which burnt with a raw pale flare at that time of the +morning, and fell into a doze before it. I seemed to have been dozing a +whole night when the clocks struck six. As there was full an hour and +a half between me and daylight, I dozed again; now, waking up uneasily, +with prolix conversations about nothing, in my ears; now, making thunder +of the wind in the chimney; at length, falling off into a profound sleep +from which the daylight woke me with a start. + +All this time I had never been able to consider my own situation, nor +could I do so yet. I had not the power to attend to it. I was greatly +dejected and distressed, but in an incoherent wholesale sort of way. +As to forming any plan for the future, I could as soon have formed an +elephant. When I opened the shutters and looked out at the wet wild +morning, all of a leaden hue; when I walked from room to room; when I +sat down again shivering, before the fire, waiting for my laundress to +appear; I thought how miserable I was, but hardly knew why, or how long +I had been so, or on what day of the week I made the reflection, or even +who I was that made it. + +At last, the old woman and the niece came in,--the latter with a head +not easily distinguishable from her dusty broom,--and testified surprise +at sight of me and the fire. To whom I imparted how my uncle had come in +the night and was then asleep, and how the breakfast preparations were +to be modified accordingly. Then I washed and dressed while they knocked +the furniture about and made a dust; and so, in a sort of dream +or sleep-waking, I found myself sitting by the fire again, waiting +for--Him--to come to breakfast. + +By and by, his door opened and he came out. I could not bring myself to +bear the sight of him, and I thought he had a worse look by daylight. + +"I do not even know," said I, speaking low as he took his seat at the +table, "by what name to call you. I have given out that you are my +uncle." + +"That's it, dear boy! Call me uncle." + +"You assumed some name, I suppose, on board ship?" + +"Yes, dear boy. I took the name of Provis." + +"Do you mean to keep that name?" + +"Why, yes, dear boy, it's as good as another,--unless you'd like +another." + +"What is your real name?" I asked him in a whisper. + +"Magwitch," he answered, in the same tone; "chrisen'd Abel." + +"What were you brought up to be?" + +"A warmint, dear boy." + +He answered quite seriously, and used the word as if it denoted some +profession. + +"When you came into the Temple last night--" said I, pausing to wonder +whether that could really have been last night, which seemed so long +ago. + +"Yes, dear boy?" + +"When you came in at the gate and asked the watchman the way here, had +you any one with you?" + +"With me? No, dear boy." + +"But there was some one there?" + +"I didn't take particular notice," he said, dubiously, "not knowing the +ways of the place. But I think there was a person, too, come in alonger +me." + +"Are you known in London?" + +"I hope not!" said he, giving his neck a jerk with his forefinger that +made me turn hot and sick. + +"Were you known in London, once?" + +"Not over and above, dear boy. I was in the provinces mostly." + +"Were you--tried--in London?" + +"Which time?" said he, with a sharp look. + +"The last time." + +He nodded. "First knowed Mr. Jaggers that way. Jaggers was for me." + +It was on my lips to ask him what he was tried for, but he took up +a knife, gave it a flourish, and with the words, "And what I done is +worked out and paid for!" fell to at his breakfast. + +He ate in a ravenous way that was very disagreeable, and all his actions +were uncouth, noisy, and greedy. Some of his teeth had failed him since +I saw him eat on the marshes, and as he turned his food in his mouth, +and turned his head sideways to bring his strongest fangs to bear upon +it, he looked terribly like a hungry old dog. If I had begun with any +appetite, he would have taken it away, and I should have sat much as +I did,--repelled from him by an insurmountable aversion, and gloomily +looking at the cloth. + +"I'm a heavy grubber, dear boy," he said, as a polite kind of apology +when he made an end of his meal, "but I always was. If it had been in +my constitution to be a lighter grubber, I might ha' got into lighter +trouble. Similarly, I must have my smoke. When I was first hired out as +shepherd t'other side the world, it's my belief I should ha' turned into +a molloncolly-mad sheep myself, if I hadn't a had my smoke." + +As he said so, he got up from table, and putting his hand into the +breast of the pea-coat he wore, brought out a short black pipe, and a +handful of loose tobacco of the kind that is called Negro-head. Having +filled his pipe, he put the surplus tobacco back again, as if his pocket +were a drawer. Then, he took a live coal from the fire with the tongs, +and lighted his pipe at it, and then turned round on the hearth-rug with +his back to the fire, and went through his favorite action of holding +out both his hands for mine. + +"And this," said he, dandling my hands up and down in his, as he puffed +at his pipe,--"and this is the gentleman what I made! The real genuine +One! It does me good fur to look at you, Pip. All I stip'late, is, to +stand by and look at you, dear boy!" + +I released my hands as soon as I could, and found that I was beginning +slowly to settle down to the contemplation of my condition. What I was +chained to, and how heavily, became intelligible to me, as I heard his +hoarse voice, and sat looking up at his furrowed bald head with its iron +gray hair at the sides. + +"I mustn't see my gentleman a footing it in the mire of the streets; +there mustn't be no mud on his boots. My gentleman must have horses, +Pip! Horses to ride, and horses to drive, and horses for his servant +to ride and drive as well. Shall colonists have their horses (and blood +'uns, if you please, good Lord!) and not my London gentleman? No, no. +We'll show 'em another pair of shoes than that, Pip; won't us?" + +He took out of his pocket a great thick pocket-book, bursting with +papers, and tossed it on the table. + +"There's something worth spending in that there book, dear boy. It's +yourn. All I've got ain't mine; it's yourn. Don't you be afeerd on it. +There's more where that come from. I've come to the old country fur +to see my gentleman spend his money like a gentleman. That'll be my +pleasure. My pleasure 'ull be fur to see him do it. And blast you all!" +he wound up, looking round the room and snapping his fingers once with +a loud snap, "blast you every one, from the judge in his wig, to the +colonist a stirring up the dust, I'll show a better gentleman than the +whole kit on you put together!" + +"Stop!" said I, almost in a frenzy of fear and dislike, "I want to speak +to you. I want to know what is to be done. I want to know how you are to +be kept out of danger, how long you are going to stay, what projects you +have." + +"Look'ee here, Pip," said he, laying his hand on my arm in a suddenly +altered and subdued manner; "first of all, look'ee here. I forgot myself +half a minute ago. What I said was low; that's what it was; low. Look'ee +here, Pip. Look over it. I ain't a going to be low." + +"First," I resumed, half groaning, "what precautions can be taken +against your being recognized and seized?" + +"No, dear boy," he said, in the same tone as before, "that don't +go first. Lowness goes first. I ain't took so many year to make a +gentleman, not without knowing what's due to him. Look'ee here, Pip. I +was low; that's what I was; low. Look over it, dear boy." + +Some sense of the grimly-ludicrous moved me to a fretful laugh, as I +replied, "I have looked over it. In Heaven's name, don't harp upon it!" + +"Yes, but look'ee here," he persisted. "Dear boy, I ain't come so fur, +not fur to be low. Now, go on, dear boy. You was a saying--" + +"How are you to be guarded from the danger you have incurred?" + +"Well, dear boy, the danger ain't so great. Without I was informed +agen, the danger ain't so much to signify. There's Jaggers, and there's +Wemmick, and there's you. Who else is there to inform?" + +"Is there no chance person who might identify you in the street?" said +I. + +"Well," he returned, "there ain't many. Nor yet I don't intend to +advertise myself in the newspapers by the name of A.M. come back from +Botany Bay; and years have rolled away, and who's to gain by it? Still, +look'ee here, Pip. If the danger had been fifty times as great, I should +ha' come to see you, mind you, just the same." + +"And how long do you remain?" + +"How long?" said he, taking his black pipe from his mouth, and dropping +his jaw as he stared at me. "I'm not a going back. I've come for good." + +"Where are you to live?" said I. "What is to be done with you? Where +will you be safe?" + +"Dear boy," he returned, "there's disguising wigs can be bought +for money, and there's hair powder, and spectacles, and black +clothes,--shorts and what not. Others has done it safe afore, and what +others has done afore, others can do agen. As to the where and how of +living, dear boy, give me your own opinions on it." + +"You take it smoothly now," said I, "but you were very serious last +night, when you swore it was Death." + +"And so I swear it is Death," said he, putting his pipe back in his +mouth, "and Death by the rope, in the open street not fur from this, and +it's serious that you should fully understand it to be so. What then, +when that's once done? Here I am. To go back now 'ud be as bad as to +stand ground--worse. Besides, Pip, I'm here, because I've meant it by +you, years and years. As to what I dare, I'm a old bird now, as has +dared all manner of traps since first he was fledged, and I'm not afeerd +to perch upon a scarecrow. If there's Death hid inside of it, there is, +and let him come out, and I'll face him, and then I'll believe in him +and not afore. And now let me have a look at my gentleman agen." + +Once more, he took me by both hands and surveyed me with an air of +admiring proprietorship: smoking with great complacency all the while. + +It appeared to me that I could do no better than secure him some +quiet lodging hard by, of which he might take possession when Herbert +returned: whom I expected in two or three days. That the secret must +be confided to Herbert as a matter of unavoidable necessity, even if I +could have put the immense relief I should derive from sharing it with +him out of the question, was plain to me. But it was by no means so +plain to Mr. Provis (I resolved to call him by that name), who reserved +his consent to Herbert's participation until he should have seen him +and formed a favorable judgment of his physiognomy. "And even then, dear +boy," said he, pulling a greasy little clasped black Testament out of +his pocket, "we'll have him on his oath." + +To state that my terrible patron carried this little black book about +the world solely to swear people on in cases of emergency, would be to +state what I never quite established; but this I can say, that I never +knew him put it to any other use. The book itself had the appearance of +having been stolen from some court of justice, and perhaps his knowledge +of its antecedents, combined with his own experience in that wise, gave +him a reliance on its powers as a sort of legal spell or charm. On this +first occasion of his producing it, I recalled how he had made me swear +fidelity in the churchyard long ago, and how he had described himself +last night as always swearing to his resolutions in his solitude. + +As he was at present dressed in a seafaring slop suit, in which he +looked as if he had some parrots and cigars to dispose of, I next +discussed with him what dress he should wear. He cherished an +extraordinary belief in the virtues of "shorts" as a disguise, and had +in his own mind sketched a dress for himself that would have made +him something between a dean and a dentist. It was with considerable +difficulty that I won him over to the assumption of a dress more like a +prosperous farmer's; and we arranged that he should cut his hair close, +and wear a little powder. Lastly, as he had not yet been seen by the +laundress or her niece, he was to keep himself out of their view until +his change of dress was made. + +It would seem a simple matter to decide on these precautions; but in my +dazed, not to say distracted, state, it took so long, that I did not +get out to further them until two or three in the afternoon. He was to +remain shut up in the chambers while I was gone, and was on no account +to open the door. + +There being to my knowledge a respectable lodging-house in Essex Street, +the back of which looked into the Temple, and was almost within hail of +my windows, I first of all repaired to that house, and was so fortunate +as to secure the second floor for my uncle, Mr. Provis. I then went from +shop to shop, making such purchases as were necessary to the change in +his appearance. This business transacted, I turned my face, on my own +account, to Little Britain. Mr. Jaggers was at his desk, but, seeing me +enter, got up immediately and stood before his fire. + +"Now, Pip," said he, "be careful." + +"I will, sir," I returned. For, coming along I had thought well of what +I was going to say. + +"Don't commit yourself," said Mr. Jaggers, "and don't commit any one. +You understand--any one. Don't tell me anything: I don't want to know +anything; I am not curious." + +Of course I saw that he knew the man was come. + +"I merely want, Mr. Jaggers," said I, "to assure myself that what I have +been told is true. I have no hope of its being untrue, but at least I +may verify it." + +Mr. Jaggers nodded. "But did you say 'told' or 'informed'?" he asked +me, with his head on one side, and not looking at me, but looking in +a listening way at the floor. "Told would seem to imply verbal +communication. You can't have verbal communication with a man in New +South Wales, you know." + +"I will say, informed, Mr. Jaggers." + +"Good." + +"I have been informed by a person named Abel Magwitch, that he is the +benefactor so long unknown to me." + +"That is the man," said Mr. Jaggers, "in New South Wales." + +"And only he?" said I. + +"And only he," said Mr. Jaggers. + +"I am not so unreasonable, sir, as to think you at all responsible for +my mistakes and wrong conclusions; but I always supposed it was Miss +Havisham." + +"As you say, Pip," returned Mr. Jaggers, turning his eyes upon +me coolly, and taking a bite at his forefinger, "I am not at all +responsible for that." + +"And yet it looked so like it, sir," I pleaded with a downcast heart. + +"Not a particle of evidence, Pip," said Mr. Jaggers, shaking his head +and gathering up his skirts. "Take nothing on its looks; take everything +on evidence. There's no better rule." + +"I have no more to say," said I, with a sigh, after standing silent for +a little while. "I have verified my information, and there's an end." + +"And Magwitch--in New South Wales--having at last disclosed himself," +said Mr. Jaggers, "you will comprehend, Pip, how rigidly throughout +my communication with you, I have always adhered to the strict line of +fact. There has never been the least departure from the strict line of +fact. You are quite aware of that?" + +"Quite, sir." + +"I communicated to Magwitch--in New South Wales--when he first wrote to +me--from New South Wales--the caution that he must not expect me ever to +deviate from the strict line of fact. I also communicated to him another +caution. He appeared to me to have obscurely hinted in his letter at +some distant idea he had of seeing you in England here. I cautioned +him that I must hear no more of that; that he was not at all likely to +obtain a pardon; that he was expatriated for the term of his natural +life; and that his presenting himself in this country would be an act of +felony, rendering him liable to the extreme penalty of the law. I gave +Magwitch that caution," said Mr. Jaggers, looking hard at me; "I wrote +it to New South Wales. He guided himself by it, no doubt." + +"No doubt," said I. + +"I have been informed by Wemmick," pursued Mr. Jaggers, still looking +hard at me, "that he has received a letter, under date Portsmouth, from +a colonist of the name of Purvis, or--" + +"Or Provis," I suggested. + +"Or Provis--thank you, Pip. Perhaps it is Provis? Perhaps you know it's +Provis?" + +"Yes," said I. + +"You know it's Provis. A letter, under date Portsmouth, from a colonist +of the name of Provis, asking for the particulars of your address, on +behalf of Magwitch. Wemmick sent him the particulars, I understand, by +return of post. Probably it is through Provis that you have received the +explanation of Magwitch--in New South Wales?" + +"It came through Provis," I replied. + +"Good day, Pip," said Mr. Jaggers, offering his hand; "glad to have +seen you. In writing by post to Magwitch--in New South Wales--or in +communicating with him through Provis, have the goodness to mention that +the particulars and vouchers of our long account shall be sent to you, +together with the balance; for there is still a balance remaining. Good +day, Pip!" + +We shook hands, and he looked hard at me as long as he could see me. I +turned at the door, and he was still looking hard at me, while the two +vile casts on the shelf seemed to be trying to get their eyelids open, +and to force out of their swollen throats, "O, what a man he is!" + +Wemmick was out, and though he had been at his desk he could have done +nothing for me. I went straight back to the Temple, where I found +the terrible Provis drinking rum and water and smoking negro-head, in +safety. + +Next day the clothes I had ordered all came home, and he put them on. +Whatever he put on, became him less (it dismally seemed to me) than what +he had worn before. To my thinking, there was something in him that made +it hopeless to attempt to disguise him. The more I dressed him and the +better I dressed him, the more he looked like the slouching fugitive on +the marshes. This effect on my anxious fancy was partly referable, no +doubt, to his old face and manner growing more familiar to me; but I +believe too that he dragged one of his legs as if there were still a +weight of iron on it, and that from head to foot there was Convict in +the very grain of the man. + +The influences of his solitary hut-life were upon him besides, and +gave him a savage air that no dress could tame; added to these were the +influences of his subsequent branded life among men, and, crowning all, +his consciousness that he was dodging and hiding now. In all his ways of +sitting and standing, and eating and drinking,--of brooding about in a +high-shouldered reluctant style,--of taking out his great horn-handled +jackknife and wiping it on his legs and cutting his food,--of +lifting light glasses and cups to his lips, as if they were clumsy +pannikins,--of chopping a wedge off his bread, and soaking up with it +the last fragments of gravy round and round his plate, as if to make the +most of an allowance, and then drying his finger-ends on it, and then +swallowing it,--in these ways and a thousand other small nameless +instances arising every minute in the day, there was Prisoner, Felon, +Bondsman, plain as plain could be. + +It had been his own idea to wear that touch of powder, and I had +conceded the powder after overcoming the shorts. But I can compare the +effect of it, when on, to nothing but the probable effect of rouge upon +the dead; so awful was the manner in which everything in him that it was +most desirable to repress, started through that thin layer of pretence, +and seemed to come blazing out at the crown of his head. It was +abandoned as soon as tried, and he wore his grizzled hair cut short. + +Words cannot tell what a sense I had, at the same time, of the dreadful +mystery that he was to me. When he fell asleep of an evening, with his +knotted hands clenching the sides of the easy-chair, and his bald head +tattooed with deep wrinkles falling forward on his breast, I would sit +and look at him, wondering what he had done, and loading him with all +the crimes in the Calendar, until the impulse was powerful on me to +start up and fly from him. Every hour so increased my abhorrence of +him, that I even think I might have yielded to this impulse in the first +agonies of being so haunted, notwithstanding all he had done for me and +the risk he ran, but for the knowledge that Herbert must soon come back. +Once, I actually did start out of bed in the night, and begin to dress +myself in my worst clothes, hurriedly intending to leave him there with +everything else I possessed, and enlist for India as a private soldier. + +I doubt if a ghost could have been more terrible to me, up in those +lonely rooms in the long evenings and long nights, with the wind and the +rain always rushing by. A ghost could not have been taken and hanged on +my account, and the consideration that he could be, and the dread that +he would be, were no small addition to my horrors. When he was not +asleep, or playing a complicated kind of Patience with a ragged pack of +cards of his own,--a game that I never saw before or since, and in which +he recorded his winnings by sticking his jackknife into the table,--when +he was not engaged in either of these pursuits, he would ask me to +read to him,--"Foreign language, dear boy!" While I complied, he, not +comprehending a single word, would stand before the fire surveying me +with the air of an Exhibitor, and I would see him, between the fingers +of the hand with which I shaded my face, appealing in dumb show to +the furniture to take notice of my proficiency. The imaginary student +pursued by the misshapen creature he had impiously made, was not more +wretched than I, pursued by the creature who had made me, and recoiling +from him with a stronger repulsion, the more he admired me and the +fonder he was of me. + +This is written of, I am sensible, as if it had lasted a year. It lasted +about five days. Expecting Herbert all the time, I dared not go out, +except when I took Provis for an airing after dark. At length, one +evening when dinner was over and I had dropped into a slumber quite +worn out,--for my nights had been agitated and my rest broken by fearful +dreams,--I was roused by the welcome footstep on the staircase. Provis, +who had been asleep too, staggered up at the noise I made, and in an +instant I saw his jackknife shining in his hand. + +"Quiet! It's Herbert!" I said; and Herbert came bursting in, with the +airy freshness of six hundred miles of France upon him. + +"Handel, my dear fellow, how are you, and again how are you, and again +how are you? I seem to have been gone a twelvemonth! Why, so I must have +been, for you have grown quite thin and pale! Handel, my--Halloa! I beg +your pardon." + +He was stopped in his running on and in his shaking hands with me, by +seeing Provis. Provis, regarding him with a fixed attention, was slowly +putting up his jackknife, and groping in another pocket for something +else. + +"Herbert, my dear friend," said I, shutting the double doors, while +Herbert stood staring and wondering, "something very strange has +happened. This is--a visitor of mine." + +"It's all right, dear boy!" said Provis coming forward, with his little +clasped black book, and then addressing himself to Herbert. "Take it in +your right hand. Lord strike you dead on the spot, if ever you split in +any way sumever! Kiss it!" + +"Do so, as he wishes it," I said to Herbert. So, Herbert, looking at +me with a friendly uneasiness and amazement, complied, and Provis +immediately shaking hands with him, said, "Now you're on your oath, you +know. And never believe me on mine, if Pip shan't make a gentleman on +you!" + + + + +Chapter XLI + +In vain should I attempt to describe the astonishment and disquiet +of Herbert, when he and I and Provis sat down before the fire, and I +recounted the whole of the secret. Enough, that I saw my own feelings +reflected in Herbert's face, and not least among them, my repugnance +towards the man who had done so much for me. + +What would alone have set a division between that man and us, if there +had been no other dividing circumstance, was his triumph in my story. +Saving his troublesome sense of having been "low" on one occasion since +his return,--on which point he began to hold forth to Herbert, the +moment my revelation was finished,--he had no perception of the +possibility of my finding any fault with my good fortune. His boast that +he had made me a gentleman, and that he had come to see me support the +character on his ample resources, was made for me quite as much as for +himself. And that it was a highly agreeable boast to both of us, +and that we must both be very proud of it, was a conclusion quite +established in his own mind. + +"Though, look'ee here, Pip's comrade," he said to Herbert, after having +discoursed for some time, "I know very well that once since I come +back--for half a minute--I've been low. I said to Pip, I knowed as I had +been low. But don't you fret yourself on that score. I ain't made Pip a +gentleman, and Pip ain't a going to make you a gentleman, not fur me not +to know what's due to ye both. Dear boy, and Pip's comrade, you two may +count upon me always having a gen-teel muzzle on. Muzzled I have been +since that half a minute when I was betrayed into lowness, muzzled I am +at the present time, muzzled I ever will be." + +Herbert said, "Certainly," but looked as if there were no specific +consolation in this, and remained perplexed and dismayed. We were +anxious for the time when he would go to his lodging and leave us +together, but he was evidently jealous of leaving us together, and sat +late. It was midnight before I took him round to Essex Street, and +saw him safely in at his own dark door. When it closed upon him, I +experienced the first moment of relief I had known since the night of +his arrival. + +Never quite free from an uneasy remembrance of the man on the stairs, +I had always looked about me in taking my guest out after dark, and in +bringing him back; and I looked about me now. Difficult as it is in a +large city to avoid the suspicion of being watched, when the mind is +conscious of danger in that regard, I could not persuade myself that any +of the people within sight cared about my movements. The few who were +passing passed on their several ways, and the street was empty when I +turned back into the Temple. Nobody had come out at the gate with us, +nobody went in at the gate with me. As I crossed by the fountain, I saw +his lighted back windows looking bright and quiet, and, when I stood for +a few moments in the doorway of the building where I lived, before going +up the stairs, Garden Court was as still and lifeless as the staircase +was when I ascended it. + +Herbert received me with open arms, and I had never felt before so +blessedly what it is to have a friend. When he had spoken some sound +words of sympathy and encouragement, we sat down to consider the +question, What was to be done? + +The chair that Provis had occupied still remaining where it had +stood,--for he had a barrack way with him of hanging about one spot, in +one unsettled manner, and going through one round of observances with +his pipe and his negro-head and his jackknife and his pack of cards, +and what not, as if it were all put down for him on a slate,--I say his +chair remaining where it had stood, Herbert unconsciously took it, but +next moment started out of it, pushed it away, and took another. He had +no occasion to say after that that he had conceived an aversion for my +patron, neither had I occasion to confess my own. We interchanged that +confidence without shaping a syllable. + +"What," said I to Herbert, when he was safe in another chair,--"what is +to be done?" + +"My poor dear Handel," he replied, holding his head, "I am too stunned +to think." + +"So was I, Herbert, when the blow first fell. Still, something must be +done. He is intent upon various new expenses,--horses, and carriages, +and lavish appearances of all kinds. He must be stopped somehow." + +"You mean that you can't accept--" + +"How can I?" I interposed, as Herbert paused. "Think of him! Look at +him!" + +An involuntary shudder passed over both of us. + +"Yet I am afraid the dreadful truth is, Herbert, that he is attached to +me, strongly attached to me. Was there ever such a fate!" + +"My poor dear Handel," Herbert repeated. + +"Then," said I, "after all, stopping short here, never taking another +penny from him, think what I owe him already! Then again: I am heavily +in debt,--very heavily for me, who have now no expectations,--and I have +been bred to no calling, and I am fit for nothing." + +"Well, well, well!" Herbert remonstrated. "Don't say fit for nothing." + +"What am I fit for? I know only one thing that I am fit for, and that +is, to go for a soldier. And I might have gone, my dear Herbert, but for +the prospect of taking counsel with your friendship and affection." + +Of course I broke down there: and of course Herbert, beyond seizing a +warm grip of my hand, pretended not to know it. + +"Anyhow, my dear Handel," said he presently, "soldiering won't do. If +you were to renounce this patronage and these favors, I suppose you +would do so with some faint hope of one day repaying what you have +already had. Not very strong, that hope, if you went soldiering! +Besides, it's absurd. You would be infinitely better in Clarriker's +house, small as it is. I am working up towards a partnership, you know." + +Poor fellow! He little suspected with whose money. + +"But there is another question," said Herbert. "This is an ignorant, +determined man, who has long had one fixed idea. More than that, he +seems to me (I may misjudge him) to be a man of a desperate and fierce +character." + +"I know he is," I returned. "Let me tell you what evidence I have seen +of it." And I told him what I had not mentioned in my narrative, of that +encounter with the other convict. + +"See, then," said Herbert; "think of this! He comes here at the peril +of his life, for the realization of his fixed idea. In the moment of +realization, after all his toil and waiting, you cut the ground from +under his feet, destroy his idea, and make his gains worthless to him. +Do you see nothing that he might do, under the disappointment?" + +"I have seen it, Herbert, and dreamed of it, ever since the fatal night +of his arrival. Nothing has been in my thoughts so distinctly as his +putting himself in the way of being taken." + +"Then you may rely upon it," said Herbert, "that there would be great +danger of his doing it. That is his power over you as long as he remains +in England, and that would be his reckless course if you forsook him." + +I was so struck by the horror of this idea, which had weighed upon +me from the first, and the working out of which would make me regard +myself, in some sort, as his murderer, that I could not rest in my +chair, but began pacing to and fro. I said to Herbert, meanwhile, that +even if Provis were recognized and taken, in spite of himself, I should +be wretched as the cause, however innocently. Yes; even though I was so +wretched in having him at large and near me, and even though I would +far rather have worked at the forge all the days of my life than I would +ever have come to this! + +But there was no staving off the question, What was to be done? + +"The first and the main thing to be done," said Herbert, "is to get him +out of England. You will have to go with him, and then he may be induced +to go." + +"But get him where I will, could I prevent his coming back?" + +"My good Handel, is it not obvious that with Newgate in the next street, +there must be far greater hazard in your breaking your mind to him and +making him reckless, here, than elsewhere? If a pretext to get him away +could be made out of that other convict, or out of anything else in his +life, now." + +"There, again!" said I, stopping before Herbert, with my open hands held +out, as if they contained the desperation of the case. "I know nothing +of his life. It has almost made me mad to sit here of a night and see +him before me, so bound up with my fortunes and misfortunes, and yet so +unknown to me, except as the miserable wretch who terrified me two days +in my childhood!" + +Herbert got up, and linked his arm in mine, and we slowly walked to and +fro together, studying the carpet. + +"Handel," said Herbert, stopping, "you feel convinced that you can take +no further benefits from him; do you?" + +"Fully. Surely you would, too, if you were in my place?" + +"And you feel convinced that you must break with him?" + +"Herbert, can you ask me?" + +"And you have, and are bound to have, that tenderness for the life he +has risked on your account, that you must save him, if possible, from +throwing it away. Then you must get him out of England before you stir a +finger to extricate yourself. That done, extricate yourself, in Heaven's +name, and we'll see it out together, dear old boy." + +It was a comfort to shake hands upon it, and walk up and down again, +with only that done. + +"Now, Herbert," said I, "with reference to gaining some knowledge of +his history. There is but one way that I know of. I must ask him point +blank." + +"Yes. Ask him," said Herbert, "when we sit at breakfast in the morning." +For he had said, on taking leave of Herbert, that he would come to +breakfast with us. + +With this project formed, we went to bed. I had the wildest dreams +concerning him, and woke unrefreshed; I woke, too, to recover the fear +which I had lost in the night, of his being found out as a returned +transport. Waking, I never lost that fear. + +He came round at the appointed time, took out his jackknife, and sat +down to his meal. He was full of plans "for his gentleman's coming out +strong, and like a gentleman," and urged me to begin speedily upon +the pocket-book which he had left in my possession. He considered the +chambers and his own lodging as temporary residences, and advised me to +look out at once for a "fashionable crib" near Hyde Park, in which he +could have "a shake-down." When he had made an end of his breakfast, +and was wiping his knife on his leg, I said to him, without a word of +preface,-- + +"After you were gone last night, I told my friend of the struggle that +the soldiers found you engaged in on the marshes, when we came up. You +remember?" + +"Remember!" said he. "I think so!" + +"We want to know something about that man--and about you. It is strange +to know no more about either, and particularly you, than I was able to +tell last night. Is not this as good a time as another for our knowing +more?" + +"Well!" he said, after consideration. "You're on your oath, you know, +Pip's comrade?" + +"Assuredly," replied Herbert. + +"As to anything I say, you know," he insisted. "The oath applies to +all." + +"I understand it to do so." + +"And look'ee here! Wotever I done is worked out and paid for," he +insisted again. + +"So be it." + +He took out his black pipe and was going to fill it with negro-head, +when, looking at the tangle of tobacco in his hand, he seemed to think +it might perplex the thread of his narrative. He put it back again, +stuck his pipe in a button-hole of his coat, spread a hand on each knee, +and after turning an angry eye on the fire for a few silent moments, +looked round at us and said what follows. + + + + +Chapter XLII + +"Dear boy and Pip's comrade. I am not a going fur to tell you my life +like a song, or a story-book. But to give it you short and handy, I'll +put it at once into a mouthful of English. In jail and out of jail, in +jail and out of jail, in jail and out of jail. There, you've got it. +That's my life pretty much, down to such times as I got shipped off, +arter Pip stood my friend. + +"I've been done everything to, pretty well--except hanged. I've been +locked up as much as a silver tea-kittle. I've been carted here and +carted there, and put out of this town, and put out of that town, and +stuck in the stocks, and whipped and worried and drove. I've no more +notion where I was born than you have--if so much. I first become aware +of myself down in Essex, a thieving turnips for my living. Summun had +run away from me--a man--a tinker--and he'd took the fire with him, and +left me wery cold. + +"I know'd my name to be Magwitch, chrisen'd Abel. How did I know +it? Much as I know'd the birds' names in the hedges to be chaffinch, +sparrer, thrush. I might have thought it was all lies together, only as +the birds' names come out true, I supposed mine did. + +"So fur as I could find, there warn't a soul that see young Abel +Magwitch, with us little on him as in him, but wot caught fright at him, +and either drove him off, or took him up. I was took up, took up, took +up, to that extent that I reg'larly grow'd up took up. + +"This is the way it was, that when I was a ragged little creetur as much +to be pitied as ever I see (not that I looked in the glass, for there +warn't many insides of furnished houses known to me), I got the name of +being hardened. 'This is a terrible hardened one,' they says to prison +wisitors, picking out me. 'May be said to live in jails, this boy.' Then +they looked at me, and I looked at them, and they measured my head, some +on 'em,--they had better a measured my stomach,--and others on 'em giv +me tracts what I couldn't read, and made me speeches what I couldn't +understand. They always went on agen me about the Devil. But what +the Devil was I to do? I must put something into my stomach, mustn't +I?--Howsomever, I'm a getting low, and I know what's due. Dear boy and +Pip's comrade, don't you be afeerd of me being low. + +"Tramping, begging, thieving, working sometimes when I could,--though +that warn't as often as you may think, till you put the question whether +you would ha' been over-ready to give me work yourselves,--a bit of a +poacher, a bit of a laborer, a bit of a wagoner, a bit of a haymaker, +a bit of a hawker, a bit of most things that don't pay and lead to +trouble, I got to be a man. A deserting soldier in a Traveller's Rest, +what lay hid up to the chin under a lot of taturs, learnt me to read; +and a travelling Giant what signed his name at a penny a time learnt me +to write. I warn't locked up as often now as formerly, but I wore out my +good share of key-metal still. + +"At Epsom races, a matter of over twenty years ago, I got acquainted wi' +a man whose skull I'd crack wi' this poker, like the claw of a lobster, +if I'd got it on this hob. His right name was Compeyson; and that's the +man, dear boy, what you see me a pounding in the ditch, according to +what you truly told your comrade arter I was gone last night. + +"He set up fur a gentleman, this Compeyson, and he'd been to a public +boarding-school and had learning. He was a smooth one to talk, and was +a dab at the ways of gentlefolks. He was good-looking too. It was the +night afore the great race, when I found him on the heath, in a booth +that I know'd on. Him and some more was a sitting among the tables when +I went in, and the landlord (which had a knowledge of me, and was a +sporting one) called him out, and said, 'I think this is a man that +might suit you,'--meaning I was. + +"Compeyson, he looks at me very noticing, and I look at him. He has a +watch and a chain and a ring and a breast-pin and a handsome suit of +clothes. + +"'To judge from appearances, you're out of luck,' says Compeyson to me. + +"'Yes, master, and I've never been in it much.' (I had come out of +Kingston Jail last on a vagrancy committal. Not but what it might have +been for something else; but it warn't.) + +"'Luck changes,' says Compeyson; 'perhaps yours is going to change.' + +"I says, 'I hope it may be so. There's room.' + +"'What can you do?' says Compeyson. + +"'Eat and drink,' I says; 'if you'll find the materials.' + +"Compeyson laughed, looked at me again very noticing, giv me five +shillings, and appointed me for next night. Same place. + +"I went to Compeyson next night, same place, and Compeyson took me on +to be his man and pardner. And what was Compeyson's business in which we +was to go pardners? Compeyson's business was the swindling, handwriting +forging, stolen bank-note passing, and such-like. All sorts of traps as +Compeyson could set with his head, and keep his own legs out of and get +the profits from and let another man in for, was Compeyson's business. +He'd no more heart than a iron file, he was as cold as death, and he had +the head of the Devil afore mentioned. + +"There was another in with Compeyson, as was called Arthur,--not as +being so chrisen'd, but as a surname. He was in a Decline, and was a +shadow to look at. Him and Compeyson had been in a bad thing with a +rich lady some years afore, and they'd made a pot of money by it; but +Compeyson betted and gamed, and he'd have run through the king's taxes. +So, Arthur was a dying, and a dying poor and with the horrors on him, +and Compeyson's wife (which Compeyson kicked mostly) was a having pity +on him when she could, and Compeyson was a having pity on nothing and +nobody. + +"I might a took warning by Arthur, but I didn't; and I won't pretend I +was partick'ler--for where 'ud be the good on it, dear boy and comrade? +So I begun wi' Compeyson, and a poor tool I was in his hands. Arthur +lived at the top of Compeyson's house (over nigh Brentford it was), and +Compeyson kept a careful account agen him for board and lodging, in case +he should ever get better to work it out. But Arthur soon settled the +account. The second or third time as ever I see him, he come a tearing +down into Compeyson's parlor late at night, in only a flannel gown, with +his hair all in a sweat, and he says to Compeyson's wife, 'Sally, she +really is upstairs alonger me, now, and I can't get rid of her. She's +all in white,' he says, 'wi' white flowers in her hair, and she's awful +mad, and she's got a shroud hanging over her arm, and she says she'll +put it on me at five in the morning.' + +"Says Compeyson: 'Why, you fool, don't you know she's got a living body? +And how should she be up there, without coming through the door, or in +at the window, and up the stairs?' + +"'I don't know how she's there,' says Arthur, shivering dreadful with +the horrors, 'but she's standing in the corner at the foot of the bed, +awful mad. And over where her heart's broke--you broke it!--there's +drops of blood.' + +"Compeyson spoke hardy, but he was always a coward. 'Go up alonger this +drivelling sick man,' he says to his wife, 'and Magwitch, lend her a +hand, will you?' But he never come nigh himself. + +"Compeyson's wife and me took him up to bed agen, and he raved most +dreadful. 'Why look at her!' he cries out. 'She's a shaking the shroud +at me! Don't you see her? Look at her eyes! Ain't it awful to see her so +mad?' Next he cries, 'She'll put it on me, and then I'm done for! Take +it away from her, take it away!' And then he catched hold of us, and kep +on a talking to her, and answering of her, till I half believed I see +her myself. + +"Compeyson's wife, being used to him, giv him some liquor to get the +horrors off, and by and by he quieted. 'O, she's gone! Has her keeper +been for her?' he says. 'Yes,' says Compeyson's wife. 'Did you tell him +to lock her and bar her in?' 'Yes.' 'And to take that ugly thing away +from her?' 'Yes, yes, all right.' 'You're a good creetur,' he says, +'don't leave me, whatever you do, and thank you!' + +"He rested pretty quiet till it might want a few minutes of five, and +then he starts up with a scream, and screams out, 'Here she is! She's +got the shroud again. She's unfolding it. She's coming out of the +corner. She's coming to the bed. Hold me, both on you--one of each +side--don't let her touch me with it. Hah! she missed me that time. +Don't let her throw it over my shoulders. Don't let her lift me up to +get it round me. She's lifting me up. Keep me down!' Then he lifted +himself up hard, and was dead. + +"Compeyson took it easy as a good riddance for both sides. Him and +me was soon busy, and first he swore me (being ever artful) on my own +book,--this here little black book, dear boy, what I swore your comrade +on. + +"Not to go into the things that Compeyson planned, and I done--which 'ud +take a week--I'll simply say to you, dear boy, and Pip's comrade, that +that man got me into such nets as made me his black slave. I was always +in debt to him, always under his thumb, always a working, always a +getting into danger. He was younger than me, but he'd got craft, and +he'd got learning, and he overmatched me five hundred times told and +no mercy. My Missis as I had the hard time wi'--Stop though! I ain't +brought her in--" + +He looked about him in a confused way, as if he had lost his place in +the book of his remembrance; and he turned his face to the fire, and +spread his hands broader on his knees, and lifted them off and put them +on again. + +"There ain't no need to go into it," he said, looking round once more. +"The time wi' Compeyson was a'most as hard a time as ever I had; that +said, all's said. Did I tell you as I was tried, alone, for misdemeanor, +while with Compeyson?" + +I answered, No. + +"Well!" he said, "I was, and got convicted. As to took up on suspicion, +that was twice or three times in the four or five year that it lasted; +but evidence was wanting. At last, me and Compeyson was both committed +for felony,--on a charge of putting stolen notes in circulation,--and +there was other charges behind. Compeyson says to me, 'Separate +defences, no communication,' and that was all. And I was so miserable +poor, that I sold all the clothes I had, except what hung on my back, +afore I could get Jaggers. + +"When we was put in the dock, I noticed first of all what a gentleman +Compeyson looked, wi' his curly hair and his black clothes and his white +pocket-handkercher, and what a common sort of a wretch I looked. When +the prosecution opened and the evidence was put short, aforehand, I +noticed how heavy it all bore on me, and how light on him. When the +evidence was giv in the box, I noticed how it was always me that had +come for'ard, and could be swore to, how it was always me that the money +had been paid to, how it was always me that had seemed to work the thing +and get the profit. But when the defence come on, then I see the plan +plainer; for, says the counsellor for Compeyson, 'My lord and gentlemen, +here you has afore you, side by side, two persons as your eyes can +separate wide; one, the younger, well brought up, who will be spoke to +as such; one, the elder, ill brought up, who will be spoke to as such; +one, the younger, seldom if ever seen in these here transactions, and +only suspected; t'other, the elder, always seen in 'em and always wi' his +guilt brought home. Can you doubt, if there is but one in it, which is +the one, and, if there is two in it, which is much the worst one?' And +such-like. And when it come to character, warn't it Compeyson as had +been to the school, and warn't it his schoolfellows as was in this +position and in that, and warn't it him as had been know'd by witnesses +in such clubs and societies, and nowt to his disadvantage? And warn't it +me as had been tried afore, and as had been know'd up hill and down dale +in Bridewells and Lock-Ups! And when it come to speech-making, warn't it +Compeyson as could speak to 'em wi' his face dropping every now and then +into his white pocket-handkercher,--ah! and wi' verses in his speech, +too,--and warn't it me as could only say, 'Gentlemen, this man at my +side is a most precious rascal'? And when the verdict come, warn't it +Compeyson as was recommended to mercy on account of good character and +bad company, and giving up all the information he could agen me, +and warn't it me as got never a word but Guilty? And when I says to +Compeyson, 'Once out of this court, I'll smash that face of yourn!' +ain't it Compeyson as prays the Judge to be protected, and gets two +turnkeys stood betwixt us? And when we're sentenced, ain't it him as +gets seven year, and me fourteen, and ain't it him as the Judge is +sorry for, because he might a done so well, and ain't it me as the Judge +perceives to be a old offender of wiolent passion, likely to come to +worse?" + +He had worked himself into a state of great excitement, but he checked +it, took two or three short breaths, swallowed as often, and stretching +out his hand towards me said, in a reassuring manner, "I ain't a going +to be low, dear boy!" + +He had so heated himself that he took out his handkerchief and wiped his +face and head and neck and hands, before he could go on. + +"I had said to Compeyson that I'd smash that face of his, and I swore +Lord smash mine! to do it. We was in the same prison-ship, but I +couldn't get at him for long, though I tried. At last I come behind him +and hit him on the cheek to turn him round and get a smashing one at +him, when I was seen and seized. The black-hole of that ship warn't +a strong one, to a judge of black-holes that could swim and dive. I +escaped to the shore, and I was a hiding among the graves there, envying +them as was in 'em and all over, when I first see my boy!" + +He regarded me with a look of affection that made him almost abhorrent +to me again, though I had felt great pity for him. + +"By my boy, I was giv to understand as Compeyson was out on them marshes +too. Upon my soul, I half believe he escaped in his terror, to get quit +of me, not knowing it was me as had got ashore. I hunted him down. I +smashed his face. 'And now,' says I 'as the worst thing I can do, caring +nothing for myself, I'll drag you back.' And I'd have swum off, towing +him by the hair, if it had come to that, and I'd a got him aboard +without the soldiers. + +"Of course he'd much the best of it to the last,--his character was so +good. He had escaped when he was made half wild by me and my murderous +intentions; and his punishment was light. I was put in irons, brought +to trial again, and sent for life. I didn't stop for life, dear boy and +Pip's comrade, being here." + +He wiped himself again, as he had done before, and then slowly took +his tangle of tobacco from his pocket, and plucked his pipe from his +button-hole, and slowly filled it, and began to smoke. + +"Is he dead?" I asked, after a silence. + +"Is who dead, dear boy?" + +"Compeyson." + +"He hopes I am, if he's alive, you may be sure," with a fierce look. "I +never heerd no more of him." + +Herbert had been writing with his pencil in the cover of a book. He +softly pushed the book over to me, as Provis stood smoking with his eyes +on the fire, and I read in it:-- + +"Young Havisham's name was Arthur. Compeyson is the man who professed to +be Miss Havisham's lover." + +I shut the book and nodded slightly to Herbert, and put the book by; but +we neither of us said anything, and both looked at Provis as he stood +smoking by the fire. + + + + +Chapter XLIII + +Why should I pause to ask how much of my shrinking from Provis might be +traced to Estella? Why should I loiter on my road, to compare the state +of mind in which I had tried to rid myself of the stain of the prison +before meeting her at the coach-office, with the state of mind in which +I now reflected on the abyss between Estella in her pride and beauty, +and the returned transport whom I harbored? The road would be none the +smoother for it, the end would be none the better for it, he would not +be helped, nor I extenuated. + +A new fear had been engendered in my mind by his narrative; or rather, +his narrative had given form and purpose to the fear that was already +there. If Compeyson were alive and should discover his return, I could +hardly doubt the consequence. That Compeyson stood in mortal fear of +him, neither of the two could know much better than I; and that any +such man as that man had been described to be would hesitate to release +himself for good from a dreaded enemy by the safe means of becoming an +informer was scarcely to be imagined. + +Never had I breathed, and never would I breathe--or so I resolved--a +word of Estella to Provis. But, I said to Herbert that, before I could +go abroad, I must see both Estella and Miss Havisham. This was when we +were left alone on the night of the day when Provis told us his story. I +resolved to go out to Richmond next day, and I went. + +On my presenting myself at Mrs. Brandley's, Estella's maid was called to +tell that Estella had gone into the country. Where? To Satis House, as +usual. Not as usual, I said, for she had never yet gone there without +me; when was she coming back? There was an air of reservation in the +answer which increased my perplexity, and the answer was, that her maid +believed she was only coming back at all for a little while. I could +make nothing of this, except that it was meant that I should make +nothing of it, and I went home again in complete discomfiture. + +Another night consultation with Herbert after Provis was gone home (I +always took him home, and always looked well about me), led us to the +conclusion that nothing should be said about going abroad until I came +back from Miss Havisham's. In the mean time, Herbert and I were to +consider separately what it would be best to say; whether we should +devise any pretence of being afraid that he was under suspicious +observation; or whether I, who had never yet been abroad, should propose +an expedition. We both knew that I had but to propose anything, and he +would consent. We agreed that his remaining many days in his present +hazard was not to be thought of. + +Next day I had the meanness to feign that I was under a binding promise +to go down to Joe; but I was capable of almost any meanness towards Joe +or his name. Provis was to be strictly careful while I was gone, and +Herbert was to take the charge of him that I had taken. I was to be +absent only one night, and, on my return, the gratification of his +impatience for my starting as a gentleman on a greater scale was to +be begun. It occurred to me then, and as I afterwards found to +Herbert also, that he might be best got away across the water, on that +pretence,--as, to make purchases, or the like. + +Having thus cleared the way for my expedition to Miss Havisham's, I set +off by the early morning coach before it was yet light, and was out +on the open country road when the day came creeping on, halting and +whimpering and shivering, and wrapped in patches of cloud and rags of +mist, like a beggar. When we drove up to the Blue Boar after a drizzly +ride, whom should I see come out under the gateway, toothpick in hand, +to look at the coach, but Bentley Drummle! + +As he pretended not to see me, I pretended not to see him. It was a very +lame pretence on both sides; the lamer, because we both went into the +coffee-room, where he had just finished his breakfast, and where I +ordered mine. It was poisonous to me to see him in the town, for I very +well knew why he had come there. + +Pretending to read a smeary newspaper long out of date, which had +nothing half so legible in its local news, as the foreign matter of +coffee, pickles, fish sauces, gravy, melted butter, and wine with which +it was sprinkled all over, as if it had taken the measles in a highly +irregular form, I sat at my table while he stood before the fire. By +degrees it became an enormous injury to me that he stood before the +fire. And I got up, determined to have my share of it. I had to put my +hand behind his legs for the poker when I went up to the fireplace to +stir the fire, but still pretended not to know him. + +"Is this a cut?" said Mr. Drummle. + +"Oh!" said I, poker in hand; "it's you, is it? How do you do? I was +wondering who it was, who kept the fire off." + +With that, I poked tremendously, and having done so, planted myself side +by side with Mr. Drummle, my shoulders squared and my back to the fire. + +"You have just come down?" said Mr. Drummle, edging me a little away +with his shoulder. + +"Yes," said I, edging him a little away with my shoulder. + +"Beastly place," said Drummle. "Your part of the country, I think?" + +"Yes," I assented. "I am told it's very like your Shropshire." + +"Not in the least like it," said Drummle. + +Here Mr. Drummle looked at his boots and I looked at mine, and then Mr. +Drummle looked at my boots, and I looked at his. + +"Have you been here long?" I asked, determined not to yield an inch of +the fire. + +"Long enough to be tired of it," returned Drummle, pretending to yawn, +but equally determined. + +"Do you stay here long?" + +"Can't say," answered Mr. Drummle. "Do you?" + +"Can't say," said I. + +I felt here, through a tingling in my blood, that if Mr. Drummle's +shoulder had claimed another hair's breadth of room, I should have +jerked him into the window; equally, that if my own shoulder had urged a +similar claim, Mr. Drummle would have jerked me into the nearest box. He +whistled a little. So did I. + +"Large tract of marshes about here, I believe?" said Drummle. + +"Yes. What of that?" said I. + +Mr. Drummle looked at me, and then at my boots, and then said, "Oh!" and +laughed. + +"Are you amused, Mr. Drummle?" + +"No," said he, "not particularly. I am going out for a ride in the +saddle. I mean to explore those marshes for amusement. Out-of-the-way +villages there, they tell me. Curious little public-houses--and +smithies--and that. Waiter!" + +"Yes, sir." + +"Is that horse of mine ready?" + +"Brought round to the door, sir." + +"I say. Look here, you sir. The lady won't ride to-day; the weather +won't do." + +"Very good, sir." + +"And I don't dine, because I'm going to dine at the lady's." + +"Very good, sir." + +Then, Drummle glanced at me, with an insolent triumph on his +great-jowled face that cut me to the heart, dull as he was, and so +exasperated me, that I felt inclined to take him in my arms (as the +robber in the story-book is said to have taken the old lady) and seat +him on the fire. + +One thing was manifest to both of us, and that was, that until relief +came, neither of us could relinquish the fire. There we stood, well +squared up before it, shoulder to shoulder and foot to foot, with our +hands behind us, not budging an inch. The horse was visible outside in +the drizzle at the door, my breakfast was put on the table, Drummle's +was cleared away, the waiter invited me to begin, I nodded, we both +stood our ground. + +"Have you been to the Grove since?" said Drummle. + +"No," said I, "I had quite enough of the Finches the last time I was +there." + +"Was that when we had a difference of opinion?" + +"Yes," I replied, very shortly. + +"Come, come! They let you off easily enough," sneered Drummle. "You +shouldn't have lost your temper." + +"Mr. Drummle," said I, "you are not competent to give advice on that +subject. When I lose my temper (not that I admit having done so on that +occasion), I don't throw glasses." + +"I do," said Drummle. + +After glancing at him once or twice, in an increased state of +smouldering ferocity, I said,-- + +"Mr. Drummle, I did not seek this conversation, and I don't think it an +agreeable one." + +"I am sure it's not," said he, superciliously over his shoulder; "I +don't think anything about it." + +"And therefore," I went on, "with your leave, I will suggest that we +hold no kind of communication in future." + +"Quite my opinion," said Drummle, "and what I should have suggested +myself, or done--more likely--without suggesting. But don't lose your +temper. Haven't you lost enough without that?" + +"What do you mean, sir?" + +"Waiter!" said Drummle, by way of answering me. + +The waiter reappeared. + +"Look here, you sir. You quite understand that the young lady don't ride +to-day, and that I dine at the young lady's?" + +"Quite so, sir!" + +When the waiter had felt my fast-cooling teapot with the palm of his +hand, and had looked imploringly at me, and had gone out, Drummle, +careful not to move the shoulder next me, took a cigar from his pocket +and bit the end off, but showed no sign of stirring. Choking and +boiling as I was, I felt that we could not go a word further, without +introducing Estella's name, which I could not endure to hear him utter; +and therefore I looked stonily at the opposite wall, as if there were +no one present, and forced myself to silence. How long we might have +remained in this ridiculous position it is impossible to say, but +for the incursion of three thriving farmers--laid on by the waiter, I +think--who came into the coffee-room unbuttoning their great-coats and +rubbing their hands, and before whom, as they charged at the fire, we +were obliged to give way. + +I saw him through the window, seizing his horse's mane, and mounting in +his blundering brutal manner, and sidling and backing away. I thought +he was gone, when he came back, calling for a light for the cigar in his +mouth, which he had forgotten. A man in a dust-colored dress appeared +with what was wanted,--I could not have said from where: whether from +the inn yard, or the street, or where not,--and as Drummle leaned down +from the saddle and lighted his cigar and laughed, with a jerk of his +head towards the coffee-room windows, the slouching shoulders and ragged +hair of this man whose back was towards me reminded me of Orlick. + +Too heavily out of sorts to care much at the time whether it were he or +no, or after all to touch the breakfast, I washed the weather and the +journey from my face and hands, and went out to the memorable old house +that it would have been so much the better for me never to have entered, +never to have seen. + + + + +Chapter XLIV + +In the room where the dressing-table stood, and where the wax-candles +burnt on the wall, I found Miss Havisham and Estella; Miss Havisham +seated on a settee near the fire, and Estella on a cushion at her feet. +Estella was knitting, and Miss Havisham was looking on. They both raised +their eyes as I went in, and both saw an alteration in me. I derived +that, from the look they interchanged. + +"And what wind," said Miss Havisham, "blows you here, Pip?" + +Though she looked steadily at me, I saw that she was rather confused. +Estella, pausing a moment in her knitting with her eyes upon me, and +then going on, I fancied that I read in the action of her fingers, as +plainly as if she had told me in the dumb alphabet, that she perceived I +had discovered my real benefactor. + +"Miss Havisham," said I, "I went to Richmond yesterday, to speak to +Estella; and finding that some wind had blown her here, I followed." + +Miss Havisham motioning to me for the third or fourth time to sit down, +I took the chair by the dressing-table, which I had often seen her +occupy. With all that ruin at my feet and about me, it seemed a natural +place for me, that day. + +"What I had to say to Estella, Miss Havisham, I will say before you, +presently--in a few moments. It will not surprise you, it will not +displease you. I am as unhappy as you can ever have meant me to be." + +Miss Havisham continued to look steadily at me. I could see in the +action of Estella's fingers as they worked that she attended to what I +said; but she did not look up. + +"I have found out who my patron is. It is not a fortunate discovery, +and is not likely ever to enrich me in reputation, station, fortune, +anything. There are reasons why I must say no more of that. It is not my +secret, but another's." + +As I was silent for a while, looking at Estella and considering how to +go on, Miss Havisham repeated, "It is not your secret, but another's. +Well?" + +"When you first caused me to be brought here, Miss Havisham, when I +belonged to the village over yonder, that I wish I had never left, +I suppose I did really come here, as any other chance boy might have +come,--as a kind of servant, to gratify a want or a whim, and to be paid +for it?" + +"Ay, Pip," replied Miss Havisham, steadily nodding her head; "you did." + +"And that Mr. Jaggers--" + +"Mr. Jaggers," said Miss Havisham, taking me up in a firm tone, "had +nothing to do with it, and knew nothing of it. His being my lawyer, and +his being the lawyer of your patron is a coincidence. He holds the same +relation towards numbers of people, and it might easily arise. Be that +as it may, it did arise, and was not brought about by any one." + +Any one might have seen in her haggard face that there was no +suppression or evasion so far. + +"But when I fell into the mistake I have so long remained in, at least +you led me on?" said I. + +"Yes," she returned, again nodding steadily, "I let you go on." + +"Was that kind?" + +"Who am I," cried Miss Havisham, striking her stick upon the floor +and flashing into wrath so suddenly that Estella glanced up at her in +surprise,--"who am I, for God's sake, that I should be kind?" + +It was a weak complaint to have made, and I had not meant to make it. I +told her so, as she sat brooding after this outburst. + +"Well, well, well!" she said. "What else?" + +"I was liberally paid for my old attendance here," I said, to soothe +her, "in being apprenticed, and I have asked these questions only for +my own information. What follows has another (and I hope more +disinterested) purpose. In humoring my mistake, Miss Havisham, you +punished--practised on--perhaps you will supply whatever term expresses +your intention, without offence--your self-seeking relations?" + +"I did. Why, they would have it so! So would you. What has been my +history, that I should be at the pains of entreating either them or you +not to have it so! You made your own snares. I never made them." + +Waiting until she was quiet again,--for this, too, flashed out of her in +a wild and sudden way,--I went on. + +"I have been thrown among one family of your relations, Miss Havisham, +and have been constantly among them since I went to London. I know them +to have been as honestly under my delusion as I myself. And I should be +false and base if I did not tell you, whether it is acceptable to you or +no, and whether you are inclined to give credence to it or no, that you +deeply wrong both Mr. Matthew Pocket and his son Herbert, if you suppose +them to be otherwise than generous, upright, open, and incapable of +anything designing or mean." + +"They are your friends," said Miss Havisham. + +"They made themselves my friends," said I, "when they supposed me +to have superseded them; and when Sarah Pocket, Miss Georgiana, and +Mistress Camilla were not my friends, I think." + +This contrasting of them with the rest seemed, I was glad to see, to do +them good with her. She looked at me keenly for a little while, and then +said quietly,-- + +"What do you want for them?" + +"Only," said I, "that you would not confound them with the others. They +may be of the same blood, but, believe me, they are not of the same +nature." + +Still looking at me keenly, Miss Havisham repeated,-- + +"What do you want for them?" + +"I am not so cunning, you see," I said, in answer, conscious that I +reddened a little, "as that I could hide from you, even if I desired, +that I do want something. Miss Havisham, if you would spare the money +to do my friend Herbert a lasting service in life, but which from the +nature of the case must be done without his knowledge, I could show you +how." + +"Why must it be done without his knowledge?" she asked, settling her +hands upon her stick, that she might regard me the more attentively. + +"Because," said I, "I began the service myself, more than two years ago, +without his knowledge, and I don't want to be betrayed. Why I fail in my +ability to finish it, I cannot explain. It is a part of the secret which +is another person's and not mine." + +She gradually withdrew her eyes from me, and turned them on the fire. +After watching it for what appeared in the silence and by the light +of the slowly wasting candles to be a long time, she was roused by +the collapse of some of the red coals, and looked towards me again--at +first, vacantly--then, with a gradually concentrating attention. All +this time Estella knitted on. When Miss Havisham had fixed her +attention on me, she said, speaking as if there had been no lapse in our +dialogue,-- + +"What else?" + +"Estella," said I, turning to her now, and trying to command my +trembling voice, "you know I love you. You know that I have loved you +long and dearly." + +She raised her eyes to my face, on being thus addressed, and her fingers +plied their work, and she looked at me with an unmoved countenance. I +saw that Miss Havisham glanced from me to her, and from her to me. + +"I should have said this sooner, but for my long mistake. It induced me +to hope that Miss Havisham meant us for one another. While I thought you +could not help yourself, as it were, I refrained from saying it. But I +must say it now." + +Preserving her unmoved countenance, and with her fingers still going, +Estella shook her head. + +"I know," said I, in answer to that action,--"I know. I have no hope +that I shall ever call you mine, Estella. I am ignorant what may become +of me very soon, how poor I may be, or where I may go. Still, I love +you. I have loved you ever since I first saw you in this house." + +Looking at me perfectly unmoved and with her fingers busy, she shook her +head again. + +"It would have been cruel in Miss Havisham, horribly cruel, to practise +on the susceptibility of a poor boy, and to torture me through all these +years with a vain hope and an idle pursuit, if she had reflected on the +gravity of what she did. But I think she did not. I think that, in the +endurance of her own trial, she forgot mine, Estella." + +I saw Miss Havisham put her hand to her heart and hold it there, as she +sat looking by turns at Estella and at me. + +"It seems," said Estella, very calmly, "that there are sentiments, +fancies,--I don't know how to call them,--which I am not able to +comprehend. When you say you love me, I know what you mean, as a form +of words; but nothing more. You address nothing in my breast, you touch +nothing there. I don't care for what you say at all. I have tried to +warn you of this; now, have I not?" + +I said in a miserable manner, "Yes." + +"Yes. But you would not be warned, for you thought I did not mean it. +Now, did you not think so?" + +"I thought and hoped you could not mean it. You, so young, untried, and +beautiful, Estella! Surely it is not in Nature." + +"It is in my nature," she returned. And then she added, with a stress +upon the words, "It is in the nature formed within me. I make a great +difference between you and all other people when I say so much. I can do +no more." + +"Is it not true," said I, "that Bentley Drummle is in town here, and +pursuing you?" + +"It is quite true," she replied, referring to him with the indifference +of utter contempt. + +"That you encourage him, and ride out with him, and that he dines with +you this very day?" + +She seemed a little surprised that I should know it, but again replied, +"Quite true." + +"You cannot love him, Estella!" + +Her fingers stopped for the first time, as she retorted rather angrily, +"What have I told you? Do you still think, in spite of it, that I do not +mean what I say?" + +"You would never marry him, Estella?" + +She looked towards Miss Havisham, and considered for a moment with her +work in her hands. Then she said, "Why not tell you the truth? I am +going to be married to him." + +I dropped my face into my hands, but was able to control myself better +than I could have expected, considering what agony it gave me to hear +her say those words. When I raised my face again, there was such a +ghastly look upon Miss Havisham's, that it impressed me, even in my +passionate hurry and grief. + +"Estella, dearest Estella, do not let Miss Havisham lead you into this +fatal step. Put me aside for ever,--you have done so, I well know,--but +bestow yourself on some worthier person than Drummle. Miss Havisham +gives you to him, as the greatest slight and injury that could be done +to the many far better men who admire you, and to the few who truly +love you. Among those few there may be one who loves you even as dearly, +though he has not loved you as long, as I. Take him, and I can bear it +better, for your sake!" + +My earnestness awoke a wonder in her that seemed as if it would have +been touched with compassion, if she could have rendered me at all +intelligible to her own mind. + +"I am going," she said again, in a gentler voice, "to be married to +him. The preparations for my marriage are making, and I shall be +married soon. Why do you injuriously introduce the name of my mother by +adoption? It is my own act." + +"Your own act, Estella, to fling yourself away upon a brute?" + +"On whom should I fling myself away?" she retorted, with a smile. +"Should I fling myself away upon the man who would the soonest feel (if +people do feel such things) that I took nothing to him? There! It is +done. I shall do well enough, and so will my husband. As to leading +me into what you call this fatal step, Miss Havisham would have had me +wait, and not marry yet; but I am tired of the life I have led, which +has very few charms for me, and I am willing enough to change it. Say no +more. We shall never understand each other." + +"Such a mean brute, such a stupid brute!" I urged, in despair. + +"Don't be afraid of my being a blessing to him," said Estella; "I shall +not be that. Come! Here is my hand. Do we part on this, you visionary +boy--or man?" + +"O Estella!" I answered, as my bitter tears fell fast on her hand, do +what I would to restrain them; "even if I remained in England and could +hold my head up with the rest, how could I see you Drummle's wife?" + +"Nonsense," she returned,--"nonsense. This will pass in no time." + +"Never, Estella!" + +"You will get me out of your thoughts in a week." + +"Out of my thoughts! You are part of my existence, part of myself. You +have been in every line I have ever read since I first came here, the +rough common boy whose poor heart you wounded even then. You have been +in every prospect I have ever seen since,--on the river, on the sails of +the ships, on the marshes, in the clouds, in the light, in the darkness, +in the wind, in the woods, in the sea, in the streets. You have been +the embodiment of every graceful fancy that my mind has ever become +acquainted with. The stones of which the strongest London buildings +are made are not more real, or more impossible to be displaced by your +hands, than your presence and influence have been to me, there and +everywhere, and will be. Estella, to the last hour of my life, you +cannot choose but remain part of my character, part of the little good +in me, part of the evil. But, in this separation, I associate you only +with the good; and I will faithfully hold you to that always, for you +must have done me far more good than harm, let me feel now what sharp +distress I may. O God bless you, God forgive you!" + +In what ecstasy of unhappiness I got these broken words out of myself, I +don't know. The rhapsody welled up within me, like blood from an +inward wound, and gushed out. I held her hand to my lips some lingering +moments, and so I left her. But ever afterwards, I remembered,--and soon +afterwards with stronger reason,--that while Estella looked at me merely +with incredulous wonder, the spectral figure of Miss Havisham, her hand +still covering her heart, seemed all resolved into a ghastly stare of +pity and remorse. + +All done, all gone! So much was done and gone, that when I went out at +the gate, the light of the day seemed of a darker color than when I went +in. For a while, I hid myself among some lanes and by-paths, and then +struck off to walk all the way to London. For, I had by that time come +to myself so far as to consider that I could not go back to the inn and +see Drummle there; that I could not bear to sit upon the coach and +be spoken to; that I could do nothing half so good for myself as tire +myself out. + +It was past midnight when I crossed London Bridge. Pursuing the narrow +intricacies of the streets which at that time tended westward near the +Middlesex shore of the river, my readiest access to the Temple was +close by the river-side, through Whitefriars. I was not expected till +to-morrow; but I had my keys, and, if Herbert were gone to bed, could +get to bed myself without disturbing him. + +As it seldom happened that I came in at that Whitefriars gate after the +Temple was closed, and as I was very muddy and weary, I did not take it +ill that the night-porter examined me with much attention as he held the +gate a little way open for me to pass in. To help his memory I mentioned +my name. + +"I was not quite sure, sir, but I thought so. Here's a note, sir. The +messenger that brought it, said would you be so good as read it by my +lantern?" + +Much surprised by the request, I took the note. It was directed to +Philip Pip, Esquire, and on the top of the superscription were the +words, "PLEASE READ THIS, HERE." I opened it, the watchman holding up +his light, and read inside, in Wemmick's writing,-- + +"DON'T GO HOME." + + + + +Chapter XLV + +Turning from the Temple gate as soon as I had read the warning, I made +the best of my way to Fleet Street, and there got a late hackney chariot +and drove to the Hummums in Covent Garden. In those times a bed was +always to be got there at any hour of the night, and the chamberlain, +letting me in at his ready wicket, lighted the candle next in order on +his shelf, and showed me straight into the bedroom next in order on his +list. It was a sort of vault on the ground floor at the back, with a +despotic monster of a four-post bedstead in it, straddling over the +whole place, putting one of his arbitrary legs into the fireplace +and another into the doorway, and squeezing the wretched little +washing-stand in quite a Divinely Righteous manner. + +As I had asked for a night-light, the chamberlain had brought me in, +before he left me, the good old constitutional rushlight of those +virtuous days--an object like the ghost of a walking-cane, which +instantly broke its back if it were touched, which nothing could ever be +lighted at, and which was placed in solitary confinement at the bottom +of a high tin tower, perforated with round holes that made a staringly +wide-awake pattern on the walls. When I had got into bed, and lay there +footsore, weary, and wretched, I found that I could no more close my own +eyes than I could close the eyes of this foolish Argus. And thus, in the +gloom and death of the night, we stared at one another. + +What a doleful night! How anxious, how dismal, how long! There was an +inhospitable smell in the room, of cold soot and hot dust; and, as I +looked up into the corners of the tester over my head, I thought what +a number of blue-bottle flies from the butchers', and earwigs from the +market, and grubs from the country, must be holding on up there, lying +by for next summer. This led me to speculate whether any of them ever +tumbled down, and then I fancied that I felt light falls on my face,--a +disagreeable turn of thought, suggesting other and more objectionable +approaches up my back. When I had lain awake a little while, those +extraordinary voices with which silence teems began to make themselves +audible. The closet whispered, the fireplace sighed, the little +washing-stand ticked, and one guitar-string played occasionally in the +chest of drawers. At about the same time, the eyes on the wall acquired +a new expression, and in every one of those staring rounds I saw +written, DON'T GO HOME. + +Whatever night-fancies and night-noises crowded on me, they never warded +off this DON'T GO HOME. It plaited itself into whatever I thought of, +as a bodily pain would have done. Not long before, I had read in the +newspapers, how a gentleman unknown had come to the Hummums in the +night, and had gone to bed, and had destroyed himself, and had been +found in the morning weltering in blood. It came into my head that he +must have occupied this very vault of mine, and I got out of bed to +assure myself that there were no red marks about; then opened the door +to look out into the passages, and cheer myself with the companionship +of a distant light, near which I knew the chamberlain to be dozing. But +all this time, why I was not to go home, and what had happened at home, +and when I should go home, and whether Provis was safe at home, were +questions occupying my mind so busily, that one might have supposed +there could be no more room in it for any other theme. Even when I +thought of Estella, and how we had parted that day forever, and when +I recalled all the circumstances of our parting, and all her looks and +tones, and the action of her fingers while she knitted,--even then I +was pursuing, here and there and everywhere, the caution, Don't go home. +When at last I dozed, in sheer exhaustion of mind and body, it became +a vast shadowy verb which I had to conjugate. Imperative mood, present +tense: Do not thou go home, let him not go home, let us not go home, do +not ye or you go home, let not them go home. Then potentially: I may not +and I cannot go home; and I might not, could not, would not, and should +not go home; until I felt that I was going distracted, and rolled over +on the pillow, and looked at the staring rounds upon the wall again. + +I had left directions that I was to be called at seven; for it was plain +that I must see Wemmick before seeing any one else, and equally plain +that this was a case in which his Walworth sentiments only could be +taken. It was a relief to get out of the room where the night had been +so miserable, and I needed no second knocking at the door to startle me +from my uneasy bed. + +The Castle battlements arose upon my view at eight o'clock. The little +servant happening to be entering the fortress with two hot rolls, I +passed through the postern and crossed the drawbridge in her company, +and so came without announcement into the presence of Wemmick as he was +making tea for himself and the Aged. An open door afforded a perspective +view of the Aged in bed. + +"Halloa, Mr. Pip!" said Wemmick. "You did come home, then?" + +"Yes," I returned; "but I didn't go home." + +"That's all right," said he, rubbing his hands. "I left a note for you +at each of the Temple gates, on the chance. Which gate did you come to?" + +I told him. + +"I'll go round to the others in the course of the day and destroy the +notes," said Wemmick; "it's a good rule never to leave documentary +evidence if you can help it, because you don't know when it may be put +in. I'm going to take a liberty with you. Would you mind toasting this +sausage for the Aged P.?" + +I said I should be delighted to do it. + +"Then you can go about your work, Mary Anne," said Wemmick to the little +servant; "which leaves us to ourselves, don't you see, Mr. Pip?" he +added, winking, as she disappeared. + +I thanked him for his friendship and caution, and our discourse +proceeded in a low tone, while I toasted the Aged's sausage and he +buttered the crumb of the Aged's roll. + +"Now, Mr. Pip, you know," said Wemmick, "you and I understand one +another. We are in our private and personal capacities, and we have been +engaged in a confidential transaction before to-day. Official sentiments +are one thing. We are extra official." + +I cordially assented. I was so very nervous, that I had already lighted +the Aged's sausage like a torch, and been obliged to blow it out. + +"I accidentally heard, yesterday morning," said Wemmick, "being in a +certain place where I once took you,--even between you and me, it's as +well not to mention names when avoidable--" + +"Much better not," said I. "I understand you." + +"I heard there by chance, yesterday morning," said Wemmick, "that +a certain person not altogether of uncolonial pursuits, and not +unpossessed of portable property,--I don't know who it may really +be,--we won't name this person--" + +"Not necessary," said I. + +"--Had made some little stir in a certain part of the world where a good +many people go, not always in gratification of their own inclinations, +and not quite irrespective of the government expense--" + +In watching his face, I made quite a firework of the Aged's sausage, +and greatly discomposed both my own attention and Wemmick's; for which I +apologized. + +"--By disappearing from such place, and being no more heard of +thereabouts. From which," said Wemmick, "conjectures had been raised and +theories formed. I also heard that you at your chambers in Garden Court, +Temple, had been watched, and might be watched again." + +"By whom?" said I. + +"I wouldn't go into that," said Wemmick, evasively, "it might clash with +official responsibilities. I heard it, as I have in my time heard other +curious things in the same place. I don't tell it you on information +received. I heard it." + +He took the toasting-fork and sausage from me as he spoke, and set forth +the Aged's breakfast neatly on a little tray. Previous to placing it +before him, he went into the Aged's room with a clean white cloth, and +tied the same under the old gentleman's chin, and propped him up, and +put his nightcap on one side, and gave him quite a rakish air. Then he +placed his breakfast before him with great care, and said, "All right, +ain't you, Aged P.?" To which the cheerful Aged replied, "All right, +John, my boy, all right!" As there seemed to be a tacit understanding +that the Aged was not in a presentable state, and was therefore to be +considered invisible, I made a pretence of being in complete ignorance +of these proceedings. + +"This watching of me at my chambers (which I have once had reason to +suspect)," I said to Wemmick when he came back, "is inseparable from the +person to whom you have adverted; is it?" + +Wemmick looked very serious. "I couldn't undertake to say that, of my +own knowledge. I mean, I couldn't undertake to say it was at first. But +it either is, or it will be, or it's in great danger of being." + +As I saw that he was restrained by fealty to Little Britain from saying +as much as he could, and as I knew with thankfulness to him how far out +of his way he went to say what he did, I could not press him. But I told +him, after a little meditation over the fire, that I would like to ask +him a question, subject to his answering or not answering, as he +deemed right, and sure that his course would be right. He paused in his +breakfast, and crossing his arms, and pinching his shirt-sleeves (his +notion of in-door comfort was to sit without any coat), he nodded to me +once, to put my question. + +"You have heard of a man of bad character, whose true name is +Compeyson?" + +He answered with one other nod. + +"Is he living?" + +One other nod. + +"Is he in London?" + +He gave me one other nod, compressed the post-office exceedingly, gave +me one last nod, and went on with his breakfast. + +"Now," said Wemmick, "questioning being over," which he emphasized and +repeated for my guidance, "I come to what I did, after hearing what I +heard. I went to Garden Court to find you; not finding you, I went to +Clarriker's to find Mr. Herbert." + +"And him you found?" said I, with great anxiety. + +"And him I found. Without mentioning any names or going into any +details, I gave him to understand that if he was aware of anybody--Tom, +Jack, or Richard--being about the chambers, or about the immediate +neighborhood, he had better get Tom, Jack, or Richard out of the way +while you were out of the way." + +"He would be greatly puzzled what to do?" + +"He was puzzled what to do; not the less, because I gave him my opinion +that it was not safe to try to get Tom, Jack, or Richard too far out +of the way at present. Mr. Pip, I'll tell you something. Under existing +circumstances, there is no place like a great city when you are once +in it. Don't break cover too soon. Lie close. Wait till things slacken, +before you try the open, even for foreign air." + +I thanked him for his valuable advice, and asked him what Herbert had +done? + +"Mr. Herbert," said Wemmick, "after being all of a heap for half an +hour, struck out a plan. He mentioned to me as a secret, that he is +courting a young lady who has, as no doubt you are aware, a bedridden +Pa. Which Pa, having been in the Purser line of life, lies a-bed in a +bow-window where he can see the ships sail up and down the river. You +are acquainted with the young lady, most probably?" + +"Not personally," said I. + +The truth was, that she had objected to me as an expensive companion +who did Herbert no good, and that, when Herbert had first proposed to +present me to her, she had received the proposal with such very moderate +warmth, that Herbert had felt himself obliged to confide the state of +the case to me, with a view to the lapse of a little time before I made +her acquaintance. When I had begun to advance Herbert's prospects by +stealth, I had been able to bear this with cheerful philosophy: he and +his affianced, for their part, had naturally not been very anxious to +introduce a third person into their interviews; and thus, although I was +assured that I had risen in Clara's esteem, and although the young +lady and I had long regularly interchanged messages and remembrances by +Herbert, I had never seen her. However, I did not trouble Wemmick with +these particulars. + +"The house with the bow-window," said Wemmick, "being by the river-side, +down the Pool there between Limehouse and Greenwich, and being kept, it +seems, by a very respectable widow who has a furnished upper floor to +let, Mr. Herbert put it to me, what did I think of that as a temporary +tenement for Tom, Jack, or Richard? Now, I thought very well of it, for +three reasons I'll give you. That is to say: Firstly. It's altogether +out of all your beats, and is well away from the usual heap of streets +great and small. Secondly. Without going near it yourself, you could +always hear of the safety of Tom, Jack, or Richard, through Mr. Herbert. +Thirdly. After a while and when it might be prudent, if you should want +to slip Tom, Jack, or Richard on board a foreign packet-boat, there he +is--ready." + +Much comforted by these considerations, I thanked Wemmick again and +again, and begged him to proceed. + +"Well, sir! Mr. Herbert threw himself into the business with a will, and +by nine o'clock last night he housed Tom, Jack, or Richard,--whichever +it may be,--you and I don't want to know,--quite successfully. At the +old lodgings it was understood that he was summoned to Dover, and, in +fact, he was taken down the Dover road and cornered out of it. Now, +another great advantage of all this is, that it was done without you, +and when, if any one was concerning himself about your movements, you +must be known to be ever so many miles off and quite otherwise engaged. +This diverts suspicion and confuses it; and for the same reason I +recommended that, even if you came back last night, you should not go +home. It brings in more confusion, and you want confusion." + +Wemmick, having finished his breakfast, here looked at his watch, and +began to get his coat on. + +"And now, Mr. Pip," said he, with his hands still in the sleeves, "I +have probably done the most I can do; but if I can ever do more,--from +a Walworth point of view, and in a strictly private and personal +capacity,--I shall be glad to do it. Here's the address. There can be +no harm in your going here to-night, and seeing for yourself that all is +well with Tom, Jack, or Richard, before you go home,--which is another +reason for your not going home last night. But, after you have gone +home, don't go back here. You are very welcome, I am sure, Mr. Pip"; his +hands were now out of his sleeves, and I was shaking them; "and let me +finally impress one important point upon you." He laid his hands upon +my shoulders, and added in a solemn whisper: "Avail yourself of this +evening to lay hold of his portable property. You don't know what may +happen to him. Don't let anything happen to the portable property." + +Quite despairing of making my mind clear to Wemmick on this point, I +forbore to try. + +"Time's up," said Wemmick, "and I must be off. If you had nothing more +pressing to do than to keep here till dark, that's what I should advise. +You look very much worried, and it would do you good to have a perfectly +quiet day with the Aged,--he'll be up presently,--and a little bit +of--you remember the pig?" + +"Of course," said I. + +"Well; and a little bit of him. That sausage you toasted was his, and +he was in all respects a first-rater. Do try him, if it is only for old +acquaintance sake. Good-bye, Aged Parent!" in a cheery shout. + +"All right, John; all right, my boy!" piped the old man from within. + +I soon fell asleep before Wemmick's fire, and the Aged and I enjoyed one +another's society by falling asleep before it more or less all day. +We had loin of pork for dinner, and greens grown on the estate; and +I nodded at the Aged with a good intention whenever I failed to do it +drowsily. When it was quite dark, I left the Aged preparing the fire for +toast; and I inferred from the number of teacups, as well as from his +glances at the two little doors in the wall, that Miss Skiffins was +expected. + + + + +Chapter XLVI + +Eight o'clock had struck before I got into the air, that was scented, +not disagreeably, by the chips and shavings of the long-shore +boat-builders, and mast, oar, and block makers. All that water-side +region of the upper and lower Pool below Bridge was unknown ground to +me; and when I struck down by the river, I found that the spot I wanted +was not where I had supposed it to be, and was anything but easy to +find. It was called Mill Pond Bank, Chinks's Basin; and I had no other +guide to Chinks's Basin than the Old Green Copper Rope-walk. + +It matters not what stranded ships repairing in dry docks I lost myself +among, what old hulls of ships in course of being knocked to pieces, +what ooze and slime and other dregs of tide, what yards of ship-builders +and ship-breakers, what rusty anchors blindly biting into the ground, +though for years off duty, what mountainous country of accumulated casks +and timber, how many rope-walks that were not the Old Green Copper. After +several times falling short of my destination and as often overshooting +it, I came unexpectedly round a corner, upon Mill Pond Bank. It was a +fresh kind of place, all circumstances considered, where the wind from +the river had room to turn itself round; and there were two or three +trees in it, and there was the stump of a ruined windmill, and there +was the Old Green Copper Rope-walk,--whose long and narrow vista I could +trace in the moonlight, along a series of wooden frames set in the +ground, that looked like superannuated haymaking-rakes which had grown +old and lost most of their teeth. + +Selecting from the few queer houses upon Mill Pond Bank a house with a +wooden front and three stories of bow-window (not bay-window, which is +another thing), I looked at the plate upon the door, and read there, +Mrs. Whimple. That being the name I wanted, I knocked, and an elderly +woman of a pleasant and thriving appearance responded. She was +immediately deposed, however, by Herbert, who silently led me into +the parlor and shut the door. It was an odd sensation to see his very +familiar face established quite at home in that very unfamiliar room +and region; and I found myself looking at him, much as I looked at +the corner-cupboard with the glass and china, the shells upon the +chimney-piece, and the colored engravings on the wall, representing the +death of Captain Cook, a ship-launch, and his Majesty King George the +Third in a state coachman's wig, leather-breeches, and top-boots, on the +terrace at Windsor. + +"All is well, Handel," said Herbert, "and he is quite satisfied, though +eager to see you. My dear girl is with her father; and if you'll wait +till she comes down, I'll make you known to her, and then we'll go upstairs. That's her father." + +I had become aware of an alarming growling overhead, and had probably +expressed the fact in my countenance. + +"I am afraid he is a sad old rascal," said Herbert, smiling, "but I have +never seen him. Don't you smell rum? He is always at it." + +"At rum?" said I. + +"Yes," returned Herbert, "and you may suppose how mild it makes his +gout. He persists, too, in keeping all the provisions upstairs in his +room, and serving them out. He keeps them on shelves over his head, and +will weigh them all. His room must be like a chandler's shop." + +While he thus spoke, the growling noise became a prolonged roar, and +then died away. + +"What else can be the consequence," said Herbert, in explanation, "if +he will cut the cheese? A man with the gout in his right hand--and +everywhere else--can't expect to get through a Double Gloucester without +hurting himself." + +He seemed to have hurt himself very much, for he gave another furious +roar. + +"To have Provis for an upper lodger is quite a godsend to Mrs. Whimple," +said Herbert, "for of course people in general won't stand that noise. A +curious place, Handel; isn't it?" + +It was a curious place, indeed; but remarkably well kept and clean. + +"Mrs. Whimple," said Herbert, when I told him so, "is the best of +housewives, and I really do not know what my Clara would do without +her motherly help. For, Clara has no mother of her own, Handel, and no +relation in the world but old Gruffandgrim." + +"Surely that's not his name, Herbert?" + +"No, no," said Herbert, "that's my name for him. His name is Mr. Barley. +But what a blessing it is for the son of my father and mother to love a +girl who has no relations, and who can never bother herself or anybody +else about her family!" + +Herbert had told me on former occasions, and now reminded me, that he +first knew Miss Clara Barley when she was completing her education at +an establishment at Hammersmith, and that on her being recalled home +to nurse her father, he and she had confided their affection to the +motherly Mrs. Whimple, by whom it had been fostered and regulated +with equal kindness and discretion, ever since. It was understood that +nothing of a tender nature could possibly be confided to old Barley, by +reason of his being totally unequal to the consideration of any subject +more psychological than Gout, Rum, and Purser's stores. + +As we were thus conversing in a low tone while Old Barley's sustained +growl vibrated in the beam that crossed the ceiling, the room door +opened, and a very pretty, slight, dark-eyed girl of twenty or so came +in with a basket in her hand: whom Herbert tenderly relieved of the +basket, and presented, blushing, as "Clara." She really was a most +charming girl, and might have passed for a captive fairy, whom that +truculent Ogre, Old Barley, had pressed into his service. + +"Look here," said Herbert, showing me the basket, with a compassionate +and tender smile, after we had talked a little; "here's poor Clara's +supper, served out every night. Here's her allowance of bread, and +here's her slice of cheese, and here's her rum,--which I drink. This +is Mr. Barley's breakfast for to-morrow, served out to be cooked. Two +mutton-chops, three potatoes, some split peas, a little flour, two +ounces of butter, a pinch of salt, and all this black pepper. It's +stewed up together, and taken hot, and it's a nice thing for the gout, I +should think!" + +There was something so natural and winning in Clara's resigned way of +looking at these stores in detail, as Herbert pointed them out; and +something so confiding, loving, and innocent in her modest manner of +yielding herself to Herbert's embracing arm; and something so gentle in +her, so much needing protection on Mill Pond Bank, by Chinks's Basin, +and the Old Green Copper Rope-walk, with Old Barley growling in the +beam,--that I would not have undone the engagement between her and +Herbert for all the money in the pocket-book I had never opened. + +I was looking at her with pleasure and admiration, when suddenly the +growl swelled into a roar again, and a frightful bumping noise was heard +above, as if a giant with a wooden leg were trying to bore it through +the ceiling to come at us. Upon this Clara said to Herbert, "Papa wants +me, darling!" and ran away. + +"There is an unconscionable old shark for you!" said Herbert. "What do +you suppose he wants now, Handel?" + +"I don't know," said I. "Something to drink?" + +"That's it!" cried Herbert, as if I had made a guess of extraordinary +merit. "He keeps his grog ready mixed in a little tub on the table. +Wait a moment, and you'll hear Clara lift him up to take some. There +he goes!" Another roar, with a prolonged shake at the end. "Now," said +Herbert, as it was succeeded by silence, "he's drinking. Now," said +Herbert, as the growl resounded in the beam once more, "he's down again +on his back!" + +Clara returned soon afterwards, and Herbert accompanied me upstairs to +see our charge. As we passed Mr. Barley's door, he was heard hoarsely +muttering within, in a strain that rose and fell like wind, the +following Refrain, in which I substitute good wishes for something quite +the reverse:-- + +"Ahoy! Bless your eyes, here's old Bill Barley. Here's old Bill Barley, +bless your eyes. Here's old Bill Barley on the flat of his back, by the +Lord. Lying on the flat of his back like a drifting old dead flounder, +here's your old Bill Barley, bless your eyes. Ahoy! Bless you." + +In this strain of consolation, Herbert informed me the invisible Barley +would commune with himself by the day and night together; Often, while +it was light, having, at the same time, one eye at a telescope which was +fitted on his bed for the convenience of sweeping the river. + +In his two cabin rooms at the top of the house, which were fresh and +airy, and in which Mr. Barley was less audible than below, I found +Provis comfortably settled. He expressed no alarm, and seemed to +feel none that was worth mentioning; but it struck me that he was +softened,--indefinably, for I could not have said how, and could never +afterwards recall how when I tried, but certainly. + +The opportunity that the day's rest had given me for reflection had +resulted in my fully determining to say nothing to him respecting +Compeyson. For anything I knew, his animosity towards the man +might otherwise lead to his seeking him out and rushing on his own +destruction. Therefore, when Herbert and I sat down with him by his +fire, I asked him first of all whether he relied on Wemmick's judgment +and sources of information? + +"Ay, ay, dear boy!" he answered, with a grave nod, "Jaggers knows." + +"Then, I have talked with Wemmick," said I, "and have come to tell you +what caution he gave me and what advice." + +This I did accurately, with the reservation just mentioned; and I told +him how Wemmick had heard, in Newgate prison (whether from officers or +prisoners I could not say), that he was under some suspicion, and that +my chambers had been watched; how Wemmick had recommended his keeping +close for a time, and my keeping away from him; and what Wemmick had +said about getting him abroad. I added, that of course, when the time +came, I should go with him, or should follow close upon him, as might +be safest in Wemmick's judgment. What was to follow that I did not touch +upon; neither, indeed, was I at all clear or comfortable about it in my +own mind, now that I saw him in that softer condition, and in declared +peril for my sake. As to altering my way of living by enlarging my +expenses, I put it to him whether in our present unsettled and difficult +circumstances, it would not be simply ridiculous, if it were no worse? + +He could not deny this, and indeed was very reasonable throughout. His +coming back was a venture, he said, and he had always known it to be a +venture. He would do nothing to make it a desperate venture, and he had +very little fear of his safety with such good help. + +Herbert, who had been looking at the fire and pondering, here said +that something had come into his thoughts arising out of Wemmick's +suggestion, which it might be worth while to pursue. "We are both good +watermen, Handel, and could take him down the river ourselves when the +right time comes. No boat would then be hired for the purpose, and no +boatmen; that would save at least a chance of suspicion, and any chance +is worth saving. Never mind the season; don't you think it might be a +good thing if you began at once to keep a boat at the Temple stairs, and +were in the habit of rowing up and down the river? You fall into that +habit, and then who notices or minds? Do it twenty or fifty times, +and there is nothing special in your doing it the twenty-first or +fifty-first." + +I liked this scheme, and Provis was quite elated by it. We agreed +that it should be carried into execution, and that Provis should never +recognize us if we came below Bridge, and rowed past Mill Pond Bank. But +we further agreed that he should pull down the blind in that part of his +window which gave upon the east, whenever he saw us and all was right. + +Our conference being now ended, and everything arranged, I rose to go; +remarking to Herbert that he and I had better not go home together, and +that I would take half an hour's start of him. "I don't like to leave +you here," I said to Provis, "though I cannot doubt your being safer +here than near me. Good-bye!" + +"Dear boy," he answered, clasping my hands, "I don't know when we may +meet again, and I don't like good-bye. Say good night!" + +"Good night! Herbert will go regularly between us, and when the time +comes you may be certain I shall be ready. Good night, good night!" + +We thought it best that he should stay in his own rooms; and we left him +on the landing outside his door, holding a light over the stair-rail to +light us downstairs. Looking back at him, I thought of the first night +of his return, when our positions were reversed, and when I little +supposed my heart could ever be as heavy and anxious at parting from him +as it was now. + +Old Barley was growling and swearing when we repassed his door, with no +appearance of having ceased or of meaning to cease. When we got to the +foot of the stairs, I asked Herbert whether he had preserved the name of +Provis. He replied, certainly not, and that the lodger was Mr. Campbell. +He also explained that the utmost known of Mr. Campbell there was, +that he (Herbert) had Mr. Campbell consigned to him, and felt a strong +personal interest in his being well cared for, and living a secluded +life. So, when we went into the parlor where Mrs. Whimple and Clara were +seated at work, I said nothing of my own interest in Mr. Campbell, but +kept it to myself. + +When I had taken leave of the pretty, gentle, dark-eyed girl, and of the +motherly woman who had not outlived her honest sympathy with a little +affair of true love, I felt as if the Old Green Copper Rope-walk had +grown quite a different place. Old Barley might be as old as the hills, +and might swear like a whole field of troopers, but there were redeeming +youth and trust and hope enough in Chinks's Basin to fill it to +overflowing. And then I thought of Estella, and of our parting, and went +home very sadly. + +All things were as quiet in the Temple as ever I had seen them. The +windows of the rooms on that side, lately occupied by Provis, were dark +and still, and there was no lounger in Garden Court. I walked past the +fountain twice or thrice before I descended the steps that were between +me and my rooms, but I was quite alone. Herbert, coming to my +bedside when he came in,--for I went straight to bed, dispirited and +fatigued,--made the same report. Opening one of the windows after that, +he looked out into the moonlight, and told me that the pavement was as +solemnly empty as the pavement of any cathedral at that same hour. + +Next day I set myself to get the boat. It was soon done, and the boat +was brought round to the Temple stairs, and lay where I could reach +her within a minute or two. Then, I began to go out as for training and +practice: sometimes alone, sometimes with Herbert. I was often out in +cold, rain, and sleet, but nobody took much note of me after I had been +out a few times. At first, I kept above Blackfriars Bridge; but as the +hours of the tide changed, I took towards London Bridge. It was Old +London Bridge in those days, and at certain states of the tide there +was a race and fall of water there which gave it a bad reputation. But I +knew well enough how to 'shoot' the bridge after seeing it done, and so +began to row about among the shipping in the Pool, and down to Erith. +The first time I passed Mill Pond Bank, Herbert and I were pulling a +pair of oars; and, both in going and returning, we saw the blind towards +the east come down. Herbert was rarely there less frequently than three +times in a week, and he never brought me a single word of intelligence +that was at all alarming. Still, I knew that there was cause for alarm, +and I could not get rid of the notion of being watched. Once received, +it is a haunting idea; how many undesigning persons I suspected of +watching me, it would be hard to calculate. + +In short, I was always full of fears for the rash man who was in hiding. +Herbert had sometimes said to me that he found it pleasant to stand at +one of our windows after dark, when the tide was running down, and to +think that it was flowing, with everything it bore, towards Clara. But +I thought with dread that it was flowing towards Magwitch, and that +any black mark on its surface might be his pursuers, going swiftly, +silently, and surely, to take him. + + + + +Chapter XLVII + +Some weeks passed without bringing any change. We waited for Wemmick, +and he made no sign. If I had never known him out of Little Britain, and +had never enjoyed the privilege of being on a familiar footing at the +Castle, I might have doubted him; not so for a moment, knowing him as I +did. + +My worldly affairs began to wear a gloomy appearance, and I was pressed +for money by more than one creditor. Even I myself began to know the +want of money (I mean of ready money in my own pocket), and to relieve +it by converting some easily spared articles of jewelery into cash. But +I had quite determined that it would be a heartless fraud to take more +money from my patron in the existing state of my uncertain thoughts and +plans. Therefore, I had sent him the unopened pocket-book by Herbert, to +hold in his own keeping, and I felt a kind of satisfaction--whether it +was a false kind or a true, I hardly know--in not having profited by his +generosity since his revelation of himself. + +As the time wore on, an impression settled heavily upon me that Estella +was married. Fearful of having it confirmed, though it was all but a +conviction, I avoided the newspapers, and begged Herbert (to whom I had +confided the circumstances of our last interview) never to speak of her +to me. Why I hoarded up this last wretched little rag of the robe of +hope that was rent and given to the winds, how do I know? Why did you +who read this, commit that not dissimilar inconsistency of your own last +year, last month, last week? + +It was an unhappy life that I lived; and its one dominant anxiety, +towering over all its other anxieties, like a high mountain above a +range of mountains, never disappeared from my view. Still, no new cause +for fear arose. Let me start from my bed as I would, with the terror +fresh upon me that he was discovered; let me sit listening, as I would +with dread, for Herbert's returning step at night, lest it should be +fleeter than ordinary, and winged with evil news,--for all that, and +much more to like purpose, the round of things went on. Condemned to +inaction and a state of constant restlessness and suspense, I rowed +about in my boat, and waited, waited, waited, as I best could. + +There were states of the tide when, having been down the river, I could +not get back through the eddy-chafed arches and starlings of old London +Bridge; then, I left my boat at a wharf near the Custom House, to be +brought up afterwards to the Temple stairs. I was not averse to doing +this, as it served to make me and my boat a commoner incident among the +water-side people there. From this slight occasion sprang two meetings +that I have now to tell of. + +One afternoon, late in the month of February, I came ashore at the wharf +at dusk. I had pulled down as far as Greenwich with the ebb tide, and +had turned with the tide. It had been a fine bright day, but had become +foggy as the sun dropped, and I had had to feel my way back among the +shipping, pretty carefully. Both in going and returning, I had seen the +signal in his window, All well. + +As it was a raw evening, and I was cold, I thought I would comfort +myself with dinner at once; and as I had hours of dejection and solitude +before me if I went home to the Temple, I thought I would afterwards go +to the play. The theatre where Mr. Wopsle had achieved his questionable +triumph was in that water-side neighborhood (it is nowhere now), and +to that theatre I resolved to go. I was aware that Mr. Wopsle had +not succeeded in reviving the Drama, but, on the contrary, had rather +partaken of its decline. He had been ominously heard of, through the +play-bills, as a faithful Black, in connection with a little girl of +noble birth, and a monkey. And Herbert had seen him as a predatory +Tartar of comic propensities, with a face like a red brick, and an +outrageous hat all over bells. + +I dined at what Herbert and I used to call a geographical chop-house, +where there were maps of the world in porter-pot rims on every half-yard +of the tablecloths, and charts of gravy on every one of the knives,--to +this day there is scarcely a single chop-house within the Lord Mayor's +dominions which is not geographical,--and wore out the time in dozing +over crumbs, staring at gas, and baking in a hot blast of dinners. By +and by, I roused myself, and went to the play. + +There, I found a virtuous boatswain in His Majesty's service,--a most +excellent man, though I could have wished his trousers not quite so +tight in some places, and not quite so loose in others,--who knocked all +the little men's hats over their eyes, though he was very generous and +brave, and who wouldn't hear of anybody's paying taxes, though he was +very patriotic. He had a bag of money in his pocket, like a pudding in +the cloth, and on that property married a young person in bed-furniture, +with great rejoicings; the whole population of Portsmouth (nine in +number at the last census) turning out on the beach to rub their own +hands and shake everybody else's, and sing "Fill, fill!" A certain +dark-complexioned Swab, however, who wouldn't fill, or do anything else +that was proposed to him, and whose heart was openly stated (by the +boatswain) to be as black as his figure-head, proposed to two other +Swabs to get all mankind into difficulties; which was so effectually +done (the Swab family having considerable political influence) that it +took half the evening to set things right, and then it was only brought +about through an honest little grocer with a white hat, black gaiters, +and red nose, getting into a clock, with a gridiron, and listening, and +coming out, and knocking everybody down from behind with the gridiron +whom he couldn't confute with what he had overheard. This led to Mr. +Wopsle's (who had never been heard of before) coming in with a star +and garter on, as a plenipotentiary of great power direct from the +Admiralty, to say that the Swabs were all to go to prison on the spot, +and that he had brought the boatswain down the Union Jack, as a slight +acknowledgment of his public services. The boatswain, unmanned for the +first time, respectfully dried his eyes on the Jack, and then cheering +up, and addressing Mr. Wopsle as Your Honor, solicited permission to +take him by the fin. Mr. Wopsle, conceding his fin with a gracious +dignity, was immediately shoved into a dusty corner, while everybody +danced a hornpipe; and from that corner, surveying the public with a +discontented eye, became aware of me. + +The second piece was the last new grand comic Christmas pantomime, in +the first scene of which, it pained me to suspect that I detected +Mr. Wopsle with red worsted legs under a highly magnified phosphoric +countenance and a shock of red curtain-fringe for his hair, engaged +in the manufacture of thunderbolts in a mine, and displaying great +cowardice when his gigantic master came home (very hoarse) to dinner. +But he presently presented himself under worthier circumstances; for, +the Genius of Youthful Love being in want of assistance,--on account of +the parental brutality of an ignorant farmer who opposed the choice +of his daughter's heart, by purposely falling upon the object, in a +flour-sack, out of the first-floor window,--summoned a sententious +Enchanter; and he, coming up from the antipodes rather unsteadily, after +an apparently violent journey, proved to be Mr. Wopsle in a high-crowned +hat, with a necromantic work in one volume under his arm. The business +of this enchanter on earth being principally to be talked at, sung at, +butted at, danced at, and flashed at with fires of various colors, +he had a good deal of time on his hands. And I observed, with great +surprise, that he devoted it to staring in my direction as if he were +lost in amazement. + +There was something so remarkable in the increasing glare of Mr. +Wopsle's eye, and he seemed to be turning so many things over in his +mind and to grow so confused, that I could not make it out. I sat +thinking of it long after he had ascended to the clouds in a large +watch-case, and still I could not make it out. I was still thinking +of it when I came out of the theatre an hour afterwards, and found him +waiting for me near the door. + +"How do you do?" said I, shaking hands with him as we turned down the +street together. "I saw that you saw me." + +"Saw you, Mr. Pip!" he returned. "Yes, of course I saw you. But who else +was there?" + +"Who else?" + +"It is the strangest thing," said Mr. Wopsle, drifting into his lost +look again; "and yet I could swear to him." + +Becoming alarmed, I entreated Mr. Wopsle to explain his meaning. + +"Whether I should have noticed him at first but for your being there," +said Mr. Wopsle, going on in the same lost way, "I can't be positive; +yet I think I should." + +Involuntarily I looked round me, as I was accustomed to look round me +when I went home; for these mysterious words gave me a chill. + +"Oh! He can't be in sight," said Mr. Wopsle. "He went out before I went +off. I saw him go." + +Having the reason that I had for being suspicious, I even suspected +this poor actor. I mistrusted a design to entrap me into some admission. +Therefore I glanced at him as we walked on together, but said nothing. + +"I had a ridiculous fancy that he must be with you, Mr. Pip, till I saw +that you were quite unconscious of him, sitting behind you there like a +ghost." + +My former chill crept over me again, but I was resolved not to speak +yet, for it was quite consistent with his words that he might be set on +to induce me to connect these references with Provis. Of course, I was +perfectly sure and safe that Provis had not been there. + +"I dare say you wonder at me, Mr. Pip; indeed, I see you do. But it is +so very strange! You'll hardly believe what I am going to tell you. I +could hardly believe it myself, if you told me." + +"Indeed?" said I. + +"No, indeed. Mr. Pip, you remember in old times a certain Christmas Day, +when you were quite a child, and I dined at Gargery's, and some soldiers +came to the door to get a pair of handcuffs mended?" + +"I remember it very well." + +"And you remember that there was a chase after two convicts, and that we +joined in it, and that Gargery took you on his back, and that I took the +lead, and you kept up with me as well as you could?" + +"I remember it all very well." Better than he thought,--except the last +clause. + +"And you remember that we came up with the two in a ditch, and that +there was a scuffle between them, and that one of them had been severely +handled and much mauled about the face by the other?" + +"I see it all before me." + +"And that the soldiers lighted torches, and put the two in the centre, +and that we went on to see the last of them, over the black marshes, +with the torchlight shining on their faces,--I am particular about +that,--with the torchlight shining on their faces, when there was an +outer ring of dark night all about us?" + +"Yes," said I. "I remember all that." + +"Then, Mr. Pip, one of those two prisoners sat behind you tonight. I saw +him over your shoulder." + +"Steady!" I thought. I asked him then, "Which of the two do you suppose +you saw?" + +"The one who had been mauled," he answered readily, "and I'll swear I +saw him! The more I think of him, the more certain I am of him." + +"This is very curious!" said I, with the best assumption I could put on +of its being nothing more to me. "Very curious indeed!" + +I cannot exaggerate the enhanced disquiet into which this conversation +threw me, or the special and peculiar terror I felt at Compeyson's +having been behind me "like a ghost." For if he had ever been out of my +thoughts for a few moments together since the hiding had begun, it was +in those very moments when he was closest to me; and to think that I +should be so unconscious and off my guard after all my care was as if +I had shut an avenue of a hundred doors to keep him out, and then had +found him at my elbow. I could not doubt, either, that he was there, +because I was there, and that, however slight an appearance of danger +there might be about us, danger was always near and active. + +I put such questions to Mr. Wopsle as, When did the man come in? He +could not tell me that; he saw me, and over my shoulder he saw the man. +It was not until he had seen him for some time that he began to identify +him; but he had from the first vaguely associated him with me, and +known him as somehow belonging to me in the old village time. How was +he dressed? Prosperously, but not noticeably otherwise; he thought, in +black. Was his face at all disfigured? No, he believed not. I believed +not too, for, although in my brooding state I had taken no especial +notice of the people behind me, I thought it likely that a face at all +disfigured would have attracted my attention. + +When Mr. Wopsle had imparted to me all that he could recall or I +extract, and when I had treated him to a little appropriate refreshment, +after the fatigues of the evening, we parted. It was between twelve and +one o'clock when I reached the Temple, and the gates were shut. No one +was near me when I went in and went home. + +Herbert had come in, and we held a very serious council by the fire. But +there was nothing to be done, saving to communicate to Wemmick what I +had that night found out, and to remind him that we waited for his hint. +As I thought that I might compromise him if I went too often to the +Castle, I made this communication by letter. I wrote it before I went to +bed, and went out and posted it; and again no one was near me. Herbert +and I agreed that we could do nothing else but be very cautious. And +we were very cautious indeed,--more cautious than before, if that were +possible,--and I for my part never went near Chinks's Basin, except +when I rowed by, and then I only looked at Mill Pond Bank as I looked at +anything else. + + + + +Chapter XLVIII + +The second of the two meetings referred to in the last chapter occurred +about a week after the first. I had again left my boat at the wharf +below Bridge; the time was an hour earlier in the afternoon; and, +undecided where to dine, I had strolled up into Cheapside, and was +strolling along it, surely the most unsettled person in all the busy +concourse, when a large hand was laid upon my shoulder by some one +overtaking me. It was Mr. Jaggers's hand, and he passed it through my +arm. + +"As we are going in the same direction, Pip, we may walk together. Where +are you bound for?" + +"For the Temple, I think," said I. + +"Don't you know?" said Mr. Jaggers. + +"Well," I returned, glad for once to get the better of him in +cross-examination, "I do not know, for I have not made up my mind." + +"You are going to dine?" said Mr. Jaggers. "You don't mind admitting +that, I suppose?" + +"No," I returned, "I don't mind admitting that." + +"And are not engaged?" + +"I don't mind admitting also that I am not engaged." + +"Then," said Mr. Jaggers, "come and dine with me." + +I was going to excuse myself, when he added, "Wemmick's coming." So +I changed my excuse into an acceptance,--the few words I had uttered, +serving for the beginning of either,--and we went along Cheapside +and slanted off to Little Britain, while the lights were springing up +brilliantly in the shop windows, and the street lamp-lighters, scarcely +finding ground enough to plant their ladders on in the midst of the +afternoon's bustle, were skipping up and down and running in and out, +opening more red eyes in the gathering fog than my rushlight tower at +the Hummums had opened white eyes in the ghostly wall. + +At the office in Little Britain there was the usual letter-writing, +hand-washing, candle-snuffing, and safe-locking, that closed the +business of the day. As I stood idle by Mr. Jaggers's fire, its rising +and falling flame made the two casts on the shelf look as if they were +playing a diabolical game at bo-peep with me; while the pair of coarse, +fat office candles that dimly lighted Mr. Jaggers as he wrote in a +corner were decorated with dirty winding-sheets, as if in remembrance of +a host of hanged clients. + +We went to Gerrard Street, all three together, in a hackney-coach: And, +as soon as we got there, dinner was served. Although I should not have +thought of making, in that place, the most distant reference by so much +as a look to Wemmick's Walworth sentiments, yet I should have had no +objection to catching his eye now and then in a friendly way. But it +was not to be done. He turned his eyes on Mr. Jaggers whenever he raised +them from the table, and was as dry and distant to me as if there were +twin Wemmicks, and this was the wrong one. + +"Did you send that note of Miss Havisham's to Mr. Pip, Wemmick?" Mr. +Jaggers asked, soon after we began dinner. + +"No, sir," returned Wemmick; "it was going by post, when you brought Mr. +Pip into the office. Here it is." He handed it to his principal instead +of to me. + +"It's a note of two lines, Pip," said Mr. Jaggers, handing it on, "sent +up to me by Miss Havisham on account of her not being sure of your +address. She tells me that she wants to see you on a little matter of +business you mentioned to her. You'll go down?" + +"Yes," said I, casting my eyes over the note, which was exactly in those +terms. + +"When do you think of going down?" + +"I have an impending engagement," said I, glancing at Wemmick, who was +putting fish into the post-office, "that renders me rather uncertain of +my time. At once, I think." + +"If Mr. Pip has the intention of going at once," said Wemmick to Mr. +Jaggers, "he needn't write an answer, you know." + +Receiving this as an intimation that it was best not to delay, I settled +that I would go to-morrow, and said so. Wemmick drank a glass of wine, +and looked with a grimly satisfied air at Mr. Jaggers, but not at me. + +"So, Pip! Our friend the Spider," said Mr. Jaggers, "has played his +cards. He has won the pool." + +It was as much as I could do to assent. + +"Hah! He is a promising fellow--in his way--but he may not have it all +his own way. The stronger will win in the end, but the stronger has to +be found out first. If he should turn to, and beat her--" + +"Surely," I interrupted, with a burning face and heart, "you do not +seriously think that he is scoundrel enough for that, Mr. Jaggers?" + +"I didn't say so, Pip. I am putting a case. If he should turn to and +beat her, he may possibly get the strength on his side; if it should be +a question of intellect, he certainly will not. It would be chance +work to give an opinion how a fellow of that sort will turn out in such +circumstances, because it's a toss-up between two results." + +"May I ask what they are?" + +"A fellow like our friend the Spider," answered Mr. Jaggers, "either +beats or cringes. He may cringe and growl, or cringe and not growl; but +he either beats or cringes. Ask Wemmick his opinion." + +"Either beats or cringes," said Wemmick, not at all addressing himself +to me. + +"So here's to Mrs. Bentley Drummle," said Mr. Jaggers, taking a decanter +of choicer wine from his dumb-waiter, and filling for each of us and +for himself, "and may the question of supremacy be settled to the lady's +satisfaction! To the satisfaction of the lady and the gentleman, +it never will be. Now, Molly, Molly, Molly, Molly, how slow you are +to-day!" + +She was at his elbow when he addressed her, putting a dish upon the +table. As she withdrew her hands from it, she fell back a step or two, +nervously muttering some excuse. And a certain action of her fingers, as +she spoke, arrested my attention. + +"What's the matter?" said Mr. Jaggers. + +"Nothing. Only the subject we were speaking of," said I, "was rather +painful to me." + +The action of her fingers was like the action of knitting. She stood +looking at her master, not understanding whether she was free to go, or +whether he had more to say to her and would call her back if she did go. +Her look was very intent. Surely, I had seen exactly such eyes and such +hands on a memorable occasion very lately! + +He dismissed her, and she glided out of the room. But she remained +before me as plainly as if she were still there. I looked at those +hands, I looked at those eyes, I looked at that flowing hair; and I +compared them with other hands, other eyes, other hair, that I knew of, +and with what those might be after twenty years of a brutal husband +and a stormy life. I looked again at those hands and eyes of the +housekeeper, and thought of the inexplicable feeling that had come over +me when I last walked--not alone--in the ruined garden, and through the +deserted brewery. I thought how the same feeling had come back when I +saw a face looking at me, and a hand waving to me from a stage-coach +window; and how it had come back again and had flashed about me like +lightning, when I had passed in a carriage--not alone--through a sudden +glare of light in a dark street. I thought how one link of association +had helped that identification in the theatre, and how such a link, +wanting before, had been riveted for me now, when I had passed by a +chance swift from Estella's name to the fingers with their knitting +action, and the attentive eyes. And I felt absolutely certain that this +woman was Estella's mother. + +Mr. Jaggers had seen me with Estella, and was not likely to have missed +the sentiments I had been at no pains to conceal. He nodded when I said +the subject was painful to me, clapped me on the back, put round the +wine again, and went on with his dinner. + +Only twice more did the housekeeper reappear, and then her stay in the +room was very short, and Mr. Jaggers was sharp with her. But her hands +were Estella's hands, and her eyes were Estella's eyes, and if she had +reappeared a hundred times I could have been neither more sure nor less +sure that my conviction was the truth. + +It was a dull evening, for Wemmick drew his wine, when it came round, +quite as a matter of business,--just as he might have drawn his salary +when that came round,--and with his eyes on his chief, sat in a state of +perpetual readiness for cross-examination. As to the quantity of wine, +his post-office was as indifferent and ready as any other post-office +for its quantity of letters. From my point of view, he was the wrong +twin all the time, and only externally like the Wemmick of Walworth. + +We took our leave early, and left together. Even when we were groping +among Mr. Jaggers's stock of boots for our hats, I felt that the right +twin was on his way back; and we had not gone half a dozen yards down +Gerrard Street in the Walworth direction, before I found that I was +walking arm in arm with the right twin, and that the wrong twin had +evaporated into the evening air. + +"Well!" said Wemmick, "that's over! He's a wonderful man, without his +living likeness; but I feel that I have to screw myself up when I dine +with him,--and I dine more comfortably unscrewed." + +I felt that this was a good statement of the case, and told him so. + +"Wouldn't say it to anybody but yourself," he answered. "I know that +what is said between you and me goes no further." + +I asked him if he had ever seen Miss Havisham's adopted daughter, Mrs. +Bentley Drummle. He said no. To avoid being too abrupt, I then spoke +of the Aged and of Miss Skiffins. He looked rather sly when I mentioned +Miss Skiffins, and stopped in the street to blow his nose, with a roll +of the head, and a flourish not quite free from latent boastfulness. + +"Wemmick," said I, "do you remember telling me, before I first went to +Mr. Jaggers's private house, to notice that housekeeper?" + +"Did I?" he replied. "Ah, I dare say I did. Deuce take me," he added, +suddenly, "I know I did. I find I am not quite unscrewed yet." + +"A wild beast tamed, you called her." + +"And what do you call her?" + +"The same. How did Mr. Jaggers tame her, Wemmick?" + +"That's his secret. She has been with him many a long year." + +"I wish you would tell me her story. I feel a particular interest in +being acquainted with it. You know that what is said between you and me +goes no further." + +"Well!" Wemmick replied, "I don't know her story,--that is, I don't know +all of it. But what I do know I'll tell you. We are in our private and +personal capacities, of course." + +"Of course." + +"A score or so of years ago, that woman was tried at the Old Bailey for +murder, and was acquitted. She was a very handsome young woman, and I +believe had some gypsy blood in her. Anyhow, it was hot enough when it +was up, as you may suppose." + +"But she was acquitted." + +"Mr. Jaggers was for her," pursued Wemmick, with a look full of meaning, +"and worked the case in a way quite astonishing. It was a desperate +case, and it was comparatively early days with him then, and he worked +it to general admiration; in fact, it may almost be said to have made +him. He worked it himself at the police-office, day after day for many +days, contending against even a committal; and at the trial where he +couldn't work it himself, sat under counsel, and--every one knew--put +in all the salt and pepper. The murdered person was a woman,--a woman a +good ten years older, very much larger, and very much stronger. It was +a case of jealousy. They both led tramping lives, and this woman in +Gerrard Street here had been married very young, over the broomstick (as +we say), to a tramping man, and was a perfect fury in point of jealousy. +The murdered woman,--more a match for the man, certainly, in point of +years--was found dead in a barn near Hounslow Heath. There had been a +violent struggle, perhaps a fight. She was bruised and scratched and +torn, and had been held by the throat, at last, and choked. Now, there +was no reasonable evidence to implicate any person but this woman, and +on the improbabilities of her having been able to do it Mr. Jaggers +principally rested his case. You may be sure," said Wemmick, touching me +on the sleeve, "that he never dwelt upon the strength of her hands then, +though he sometimes does now." + +I had told Wemmick of his showing us her wrists, that day of the dinner +party. + +"Well, sir!" Wemmick went on; "it happened--happened, don't you +see?--that this woman was so very artfully dressed from the time of +her apprehension, that she looked much slighter than she really was; in +particular, her sleeves are always remembered to have been so skilfully +contrived that her arms had quite a delicate look. She had only a bruise +or two about her,--nothing for a tramp,--but the backs of her hands +were lacerated, and the question was, Was it with finger-nails? Now, Mr. +Jaggers showed that she had struggled through a great lot of brambles +which were not as high as her face; but which she could not have got +through and kept her hands out of; and bits of those brambles were +actually found in her skin and put in evidence, as well as the fact that +the brambles in question were found on examination to have been broken +through, and to have little shreds of her dress and little spots of +blood upon them here and there. But the boldest point he made was this: +it was attempted to be set up, in proof of her jealousy, that she was +under strong suspicion of having, at about the time of the murder, +frantically destroyed her child by this man--some three years old--to +revenge herself upon him. Mr. Jaggers worked that in this way: "We say +these are not marks of finger-nails, but marks of brambles, and we show +you the brambles. You say they are marks of finger-nails, and you set +up the hypothesis that she destroyed her child. You must accept all +consequences of that hypothesis. For anything we know, she may have +destroyed her child, and the child in clinging to her may have scratched +her hands. What then? You are not trying her for the murder of her +child; why don't you? As to this case, if you will have scratches, +we say that, for anything we know, you may have accounted for them, +assuming for the sake of argument that you have not invented them?" "To +sum up, sir," said Wemmick, "Mr. Jaggers was altogether too many for the +jury, and they gave in." + +"Has she been in his service ever since?" + +"Yes; but not only that," said Wemmick, "she went into his service +immediately after her acquittal, tamed as she is now. She has since been +taught one thing and another in the way of her duties, but she was tamed +from the beginning." + +"Do you remember the sex of the child?" + +"Said to have been a girl." + +"You have nothing more to say to me to-night?" + +"Nothing. I got your letter and destroyed it. Nothing." + +We exchanged a cordial good-night, and I went home, with new matter for +my thoughts, though with no relief from the old. + + + + +Chapter XLIX + +Putting Miss Havisham's note in my pocket, that it might serve as +my credentials for so soon reappearing at Satis House, in case her +waywardness should lead her to express any surprise at seeing me, I went +down again by the coach next day. But I alighted at the Halfway House, +and breakfasted there, and walked the rest of the distance; for I sought +to get into the town quietly by the unfrequented ways, and to leave it +in the same manner. + +The best light of the day was gone when I passed along the quiet echoing +courts behind the High Street. The nooks of ruin where the old monks had +once had their refectories and gardens, and where the strong walls were +now pressed into the service of humble sheds and stables, were almost +as silent as the old monks in their graves. The cathedral chimes had at +once a sadder and a more remote sound to me, as I hurried on avoiding +observation, than they had ever had before; so, the swell of the old +organ was borne to my ears like funeral music; and the rooks, as they +hovered about the gray tower and swung in the bare high trees of the +priory garden, seemed to call to me that the place was changed, and that +Estella was gone out of it for ever. + +An elderly woman, whom I had seen before as one of the servants who +lived in the supplementary house across the back courtyard, opened the +gate. The lighted candle stood in the dark passage within, as of old, +and I took it up and ascended the staircase alone. Miss Havisham was not +in her own room, but was in the larger room across the landing. Looking +in at the door, after knocking in vain, I saw her sitting on the hearth +in a ragged chair, close before, and lost in the contemplation of, the +ashy fire. + +Doing as I had often done, I went in, and stood touching the old +chimney-piece, where she could see me when she raised her eyes. There +was an air of utter loneliness upon her, that would have moved me to +pity though she had wilfully done me a deeper injury than I could charge +her with. As I stood compassionating her, and thinking how, in the +progress of time, I too had come to be a part of the wrecked fortunes of +that house, her eyes rested on me. She stared, and said in a low voice, +"Is it real?" + +"It is I, Pip. Mr. Jaggers gave me your note yesterday, and I have lost +no time." + +"Thank you. Thank you." + +As I brought another of the ragged chairs to the hearth and sat down, I +remarked a new expression on her face, as if she were afraid of me. + +"I want," she said, "to pursue that subject you mentioned to me when you +were last here, and to show you that I am not all stone. But perhaps you +can never believe, now, that there is anything human in my heart?" + +When I said some reassuring words, she stretched out her tremulous right +hand, as though she was going to touch me; but she recalled it again +before I understood the action, or knew how to receive it. + +"You said, speaking for your friend, that you could tell me how to do +something useful and good. Something that you would like done, is it +not?" + +"Something that I would like done very much." + +"What is it?" + +I began explaining to her that secret history of the partnership. I had +not got far into it, when I judged from her looks that she was thinking +in a discursive way of me, rather than of what I said. It seemed to be +so; for, when I stopped speaking, many moments passed before she showed +that she was conscious of the fact. + +"Do you break off," she asked then, with her former air of being afraid +of me, "because you hate me too much to bear to speak to me?" + +"No, no," I answered, "how can you think so, Miss Havisham! I stopped +because I thought you were not following what I said." + +"Perhaps I was not," she answered, putting a hand to her head. "Begin +again, and let me look at something else. Stay! Now tell me." + +She set her hand upon her stick in the resolute way that sometimes was +habitual to her, and looked at the fire with a strong expression of +forcing herself to attend. I went on with my explanation, and told her +how I had hoped to complete the transaction out of my means, but how +in this I was disappointed. That part of the subject (I reminded her) +involved matters which could form no part of my explanation, for they +were the weighty secrets of another. + +"So!" said she, assenting with her head, but not looking at me. "And how +much money is wanting to complete the purchase?" + +I was rather afraid of stating it, for it sounded a large sum. "Nine +hundred pounds." + +"If I give you the money for this purpose, will you keep my secret as +you have kept your own?" + +"Quite as faithfully." + +"And your mind will be more at rest?" + +"Much more at rest." + +"Are you very unhappy now?" + +She asked this question, still without looking at me, but in an unwonted +tone of sympathy. I could not reply at the moment, for my voice failed +me. She put her left arm across the head of her stick, and softly laid +her forehead on it. + +"I am far from happy, Miss Havisham; but I have other causes of disquiet +than any you know of. They are the secrets I have mentioned." + +After a little while, she raised her head, and looked at the fire again. + +"It is noble in you to tell me that you have other causes of +unhappiness. Is it true?" + +"Too true." + +"Can I only serve you, Pip, by serving your friend? Regarding that as +done, is there nothing I can do for you yourself?" + +"Nothing. I thank you for the question. I thank you even more for the +tone of the question. But there is nothing." + +She presently rose from her seat, and looked about the blighted room +for the means of writing. There were none there, and she took from her +pocket a yellow set of ivory tablets, mounted in tarnished gold, and +wrote upon them with a pencil in a case of tarnished gold that hung from +her neck. + +"You are still on friendly terms with Mr. Jaggers?" + +"Quite. I dined with him yesterday." + +"This is an authority to him to pay you that money, to lay out at your +irresponsible discretion for your friend. I keep no money here; but if +you would rather Mr. Jaggers knew nothing of the matter, I will send it +to you." + +"Thank you, Miss Havisham; I have not the least objection to receiving +it from him." + +She read me what she had written; and it was direct and clear, and +evidently intended to absolve me from any suspicion of profiting by the +receipt of the money. I took the tablets from her hand, and it trembled +again, and it trembled more as she took off the chain to which the +pencil was attached, and put it in mine. All this she did without +looking at me. + +"My name is on the first leaf. If you can ever write under my name, "I +forgive her," though ever so long after my broken heart is dust pray do +it!" + +"O Miss Havisham," said I, "I can do it now. There have been sore +mistakes; and my life has been a blind and thankless one; and I want +forgiveness and direction far too much, to be bitter with you." + +She turned her face to me for the first time since she had averted it, +and, to my amazement, I may even add to my terror, dropped on her knees +at my feet; with her folded hands raised to me in the manner in which, +when her poor heart was young and fresh and whole, they must often have +been raised to heaven from her mother's side. + +To see her with her white hair and her worn face kneeling at my feet +gave me a shock through all my frame. I entreated her to rise, and got +my arms about her to help her up; but she only pressed that hand of mine +which was nearest to her grasp, and hung her head over it and wept. I +had never seen her shed a tear before, and, in the hope that the +relief might do her good, I bent over her without speaking. She was not +kneeling now, but was down upon the ground. + +"O!" she cried, despairingly. "What have I done! What have I done!" + +"If you mean, Miss Havisham, what have you done to injure me, let me +answer. Very little. I should have loved her under any circumstances. Is +she married?" + +"Yes." + +It was a needless question, for a new desolation in the desolate house +had told me so. + +"What have I done! What have I done!" She wrung her hands, and crushed +her white hair, and returned to this cry over and over again. "What have +I done!" + +I knew not how to answer, or how to comfort her. That she had done a +grievous thing in taking an impressionable child to mould into the form +that her wild resentment, spurned affection, and wounded pride found +vengeance in, I knew full well. But that, in shutting out the light +of day, she had shut out infinitely more; that, in seclusion, she had +secluded herself from a thousand natural and healing influences; that, +her mind, brooding solitary, had grown diseased, as all minds do and +must and will that reverse the appointed order of their Maker, I knew +equally well. And could I look upon her without compassion, seeing her +punishment in the ruin she was, in her profound unfitness for this earth +on which she was placed, in the vanity of sorrow which had become a +master mania, like the vanity of penitence, the vanity of remorse, the +vanity of unworthiness, and other monstrous vanities that have been +curses in this world? + +"Until you spoke to her the other day, and until I saw in you a +looking-glass that showed me what I once felt myself, I did not know +what I had done. What have I done! What have I done!" And so again, +twenty, fifty times over, What had she done! + +"Miss Havisham," I said, when her cry had died away, "you may dismiss me +from your mind and conscience. But Estella is a different case, and if +you can ever undo any scrap of what you have done amiss in keeping a +part of her right nature away from her, it will be better to do that +than to bemoan the past through a hundred years." + +"Yes, yes, I know it. But, Pip--my dear!" There was an earnest womanly +compassion for me in her new affection. "My dear! Believe this: when she +first came to me, I meant to save her from misery like my own. At first, +I meant no more." + +"Well, well!" said I. "I hope so." + +"But as she grew, and promised to be very beautiful, I gradually did +worse, and with my praises, and with my jewels, and with my teachings, +and with this figure of myself always before her, a warning to back and +point my lessons, I stole her heart away, and put ice in its place." + +"Better," I could not help saying, "to have left her a natural heart, +even to be bruised or broken." + +With that, Miss Havisham looked distractedly at me for a while, and then +burst out again, What had she done! + +"If you knew all my story," she pleaded, "you would have some compassion +for me and a better understanding of me." + +"Miss Havisham," I answered, as delicately as I could, "I believe I may +say that I do know your story, and have known it ever since I first left +this neighborhood. It has inspired me with great commiseration, and I +hope I understand it and its influences. Does what has passed between us +give me any excuse for asking you a question relative to Estella? Not as +she is, but as she was when she first came here?" + +She was seated on the ground, with her arms on the ragged chair, and +her head leaning on them. She looked full at me when I said this, and +replied, "Go on." + +"Whose child was Estella?" + +She shook her head. + +"You don't know?" + +She shook her head again. + +"But Mr. Jaggers brought her here, or sent her here?" + +"Brought her here." + +"Will you tell me how that came about?" + +She answered in a low whisper and with caution: "I had been shut up in +these rooms a long time (I don't know how long; you know what time the +clocks keep here), when I told him that I wanted a little girl to rear +and love, and save from my fate. I had first seen him when I sent +for him to lay this place waste for me; having read of him in the +newspapers, before I and the world parted. He told me that he would +look about him for such an orphan child. One night he brought her here +asleep, and I called her Estella." + +"Might I ask her age then?" + +"Two or three. She herself knows nothing, but that she was left an +orphan and I adopted her." + +So convinced I was of that woman's being her mother, that I wanted +no evidence to establish the fact in my own mind. But, to any mind, I +thought, the connection here was clear and straight. + +What more could I hope to do by prolonging the interview? I had +succeeded on behalf of Herbert, Miss Havisham had told me all she knew +of Estella, I had said and done what I could to ease her mind. No matter +with what other words we parted; we parted. + +Twilight was closing in when I went downstairs into the natural air. I +called to the woman who had opened the gate when I entered, that I would +not trouble her just yet, but would walk round the place before leaving. +For I had a presentiment that I should never be there again, and I felt +that the dying light was suited to my last view of it. + +By the wilderness of casks that I had walked on long ago, and on which +the rain of years had fallen since, rotting them in many places, and +leaving miniature swamps and pools of water upon those that stood on +end, I made my way to the ruined garden. I went all round it; round by +the corner where Herbert and I had fought our battle; round by the paths +where Estella and I had walked. So cold, so lonely, so dreary all! + +Taking the brewery on my way back, I raised the rusty latch of a little +door at the garden end of it, and walked through. I was going out at the +opposite door,--not easy to open now, for the damp wood had started and +swelled, and the hinges were yielding, and the threshold was encumbered +with a growth of fungus,--when I turned my head to look back. A childish +association revived with wonderful force in the moment of the slight +action, and I fancied that I saw Miss Havisham hanging to the beam. So +strong was the impression, that I stood under the beam shuddering from +head to foot before I knew it was a fancy,--though to be sure I was +there in an instant. + +The mournfulness of the place and time, and the great terror of +this illusion, though it was but momentary, caused me to feel an +indescribable awe as I came out between the open wooden gates where I +had once wrung my hair after Estella had wrung my heart. Passing on into +the front courtyard, I hesitated whether to call the woman to let me out +at the locked gate of which she had the key, or first to go upstairs +and assure myself that Miss Havisham was as safe and well as I had left +her. I took the latter course and went up. + +I looked into the room where I had left her, and I saw her seated in the +ragged chair upon the hearth close to the fire, with her back towards +me. In the moment when I was withdrawing my head to go quietly away, +I saw a great flaming light spring up. In the same moment I saw her +running at me, shrieking, with a whirl of fire blazing all about her, +and soaring at least as many feet above her head as she was high. + +I had a double-caped great-coat on, and over my arm another thick coat. +That I got them off, closed with her, threw her down, and got them over +her; that I dragged the great cloth from the table for the same purpose, +and with it dragged down the heap of rottenness in the midst, and +all the ugly things that sheltered there; that we were on the ground +struggling like desperate enemies, and that the closer I covered her, +the more wildly she shrieked and tried to free herself,--that this +occurred I knew through the result, but not through anything I felt, or +thought, or knew I did. I knew nothing until I knew that we were on the +floor by the great table, and that patches of tinder yet alight were +floating in the smoky air, which, a moment ago, had been her faded +bridal dress. + +Then, I looked round and saw the disturbed beetles and spiders running +away over the floor, and the servants coming in with breathless cries +at the door. I still held her forcibly down with all my strength, like +a prisoner who might escape; and I doubt if I even knew who she was, or +why we had struggled, or that she had been in flames, or that the flames +were out, until I saw the patches of tinder that had been her garments +no longer alight but falling in a black shower around us. + +She was insensible, and I was afraid to have her moved, or even +touched. Assistance was sent for, and I held her until it came, as if +I unreasonably fancied (I think I did) that, if I let her go, the fire +would break out again and consume her. When I got up, on the surgeon's +coming to her with other aid, I was astonished to see that both my hands +were burnt; for, I had no knowledge of it through the sense of feeling. + +On examination it was pronounced that she had received serious hurts, +but that they of themselves were far from hopeless; the danger lay +mainly in the nervous shock. By the surgeon's directions, her bed was +carried into that room and laid upon the great table, which happened to +be well suited to the dressing of her injuries. When I saw her again, an +hour afterwards, she lay, indeed, where I had seen her strike her stick, +and had heard her say that she would lie one day. + +Though every vestige of her dress was burnt, as they told me, she +still had something of her old ghastly bridal appearance; for, they had +covered her to the throat with white cotton-wool, and as she lay with +a white sheet loosely overlying that, the phantom air of something that +had been and was changed was still upon her. + +I found, on questioning the servants, that Estella was in Paris, and I +got a promise from the surgeon that he would write to her by the +next post. Miss Havisham's family I took upon myself; intending to +communicate with Mr. Matthew Pocket only, and leave him to do as he +liked about informing the rest. This I did next day, through Herbert, as +soon as I returned to town. + +There was a stage, that evening, when she spoke collectedly of what had +happened, though with a certain terrible vivacity. Towards midnight she +began to wander in her speech; and after that it gradually set in that +she said innumerable times in a low solemn voice, "What have I done!" +And then, "When she first came, I meant to save her from misery like +mine." And then, "Take the pencil and write under my name, 'I forgive +her!'" She never changed the order of these three sentences, but she +sometimes left out a word in one or other of them; never putting in +another word, but always leaving a blank and going on to the next word. + +As I could do no service there, and as I had, nearer home, that pressing +reason for anxiety and fear which even her wanderings could not drive +out of my mind, I decided, in the course of the night that I would +return by the early morning coach, walking on a mile or so, and being +taken up clear of the town. At about six o'clock of the morning, +therefore, I leaned over her and touched her lips with mine, just as +they said, not stopping for being touched, "Take the pencil and write +under my name, 'I forgive her.'" + + + + +Chapter L + +My hands had been dressed twice or thrice in the night, and again in +the morning. My left arm was a good deal burned to the elbow, and, less +severely, as high as the shoulder; it was very painful, but the flames +had set in that direction, and I felt thankful it was no worse. My right +hand was not so badly burnt but that I could move the fingers. It was +bandaged, of course, but much less inconveniently than my left hand and +arm; those I carried in a sling; and I could only wear my coat like a +cloak, loose over my shoulders and fastened at the neck. My hair had +been caught by the fire, but not my head or face. + +When Herbert had been down to Hammersmith and seen his father, he came +back to me at our chambers, and devoted the day to attending on me. He +was the kindest of nurses, and at stated times took off the bandages, +and steeped them in the cooling liquid that was kept ready, and put them +on again, with a patient tenderness that I was deeply grateful for. + +At first, as I lay quiet on the sofa, I found it painfully difficult, I +might say impossible, to get rid of the impression of the glare of the +flames, their hurry and noise, and the fierce burning smell. If I +dozed for a minute, I was awakened by Miss Havisham's cries, and by her +running at me with all that height of fire above her head. This pain +of the mind was much harder to strive against than any bodily pain I +suffered; and Herbert, seeing that, did his utmost to hold my attention +engaged. + +Neither of us spoke of the boat, but we both thought of it. That +was made apparent by our avoidance of the subject, and by our +agreeing--without agreement--to make my recovery of the use of my hands +a question of so many hours, not of so many weeks. + +My first question when I saw Herbert had been of course, whether all +was well down the river? As he replied in the affirmative, with perfect +confidence and cheerfulness, we did not resume the subject until the day +was wearing away. But then, as Herbert changed the bandages, more by +the light of the fire than by the outer light, he went back to it +spontaneously. + +"I sat with Provis last night, Handel, two good hours." + +"Where was Clara?" + +"Dear little thing!" said Herbert. "She was up and down with +Gruffandgrim all the evening. He was perpetually pegging at the floor +the moment she left his sight. I doubt if he can hold out long, though. +What with rum and pepper,--and pepper and rum,--I should think his +pegging must be nearly over." + +"And then you will be married, Herbert?" + +"How can I take care of the dear child otherwise?--Lay your arm out upon +the back of the sofa, my dear boy, and I'll sit down here, and get the +bandage off so gradually that you shall not know when it comes. I was +speaking of Provis. Do you know, Handel, he improves?" + +"I said to you I thought he was softened when I last saw him." + +"So you did. And so he is. He was very communicative last night, and +told me more of his life. You remember his breaking off here about some +woman that he had had great trouble with.--Did I hurt you?" + +I had started, but not under his touch. His words had given me a start. + +"I had forgotten that, Herbert, but I remember it now you speak of it." + +"Well! He went into that part of his life, and a dark wild part it is. +Shall I tell you? Or would it worry you just now?" + +"Tell me by all means. Every word." + +Herbert bent forward to look at me more nearly, as if my reply had been +rather more hurried or more eager than he could quite account for. "Your +head is cool?" he said, touching it. + +"Quite," said I. "Tell me what Provis said, my dear Herbert." + +"It seems," said Herbert, "--there's a bandage off most charmingly, and +now comes the cool one,--makes you shrink at first, my poor dear fellow, +don't it? but it will be comfortable presently,--it seems that the +woman was a young woman, and a jealous woman, and a revengeful woman; +revengeful, Handel, to the last degree." + +"To what last degree?" + +"Murder.--Does it strike too cold on that sensitive place?" + +"I don't feel it. How did she murder? Whom did she murder?" + +"Why, the deed may not have merited quite so terrible a name," +said Herbert, "but, she was tried for it, and Mr. Jaggers defended +her, and the reputation of that defence first made his name known +to Provis. It was another and a stronger woman who was the victim, +and there had been a struggle--in a barn. Who began it, or how fair +it was, or how unfair, may be doubtful; but how it ended is +certainly not doubtful, for the victim was found throttled." + +"Was the woman brought in guilty?" + +"No; she was acquitted.--My poor Handel, I hurt you!" + +"It is impossible to be gentler, Herbert. Yes? What else?" + +"This acquitted young woman and Provis had a little child; a little +child of whom Provis was exceedingly fond. On the evening of the very +night when the object of her jealousy was strangled as I tell you, the +young woman presented herself before Provis for one moment, and swore +that she would destroy the child (which was in her possession), and he +should never see it again; then she vanished.--There's the worst arm +comfortably in the sling once more, and now there remains but the right +hand, which is a far easier job. I can do it better by this light +than by a stronger, for my hand is steadiest when I don't see the poor +blistered patches too distinctly.--You don't think your breathing is +affected, my dear boy? You seem to breathe quickly." + +"Perhaps I do, Herbert. Did the woman keep her oath?" + +"There comes the darkest part of Provis's life. She did." + +"That is, he says she did." + +"Why, of course, my dear boy," returned Herbert, in a tone of surprise, +and again bending forward to get a nearer look at me. "He says it all. I +have no other information." + +"No, to be sure." + +"Now, whether," pursued Herbert, "he had used the child's mother ill, or +whether he had used the child's mother well, Provis doesn't say; but she +had shared some four or five years of the wretched life he described +to us at this fireside, and he seems to have felt pity for her, and +forbearance towards her. Therefore, fearing he should be called upon to +depose about this destroyed child, and so be the cause of her death, he +hid himself (much as he grieved for the child), kept himself dark, as he +says, out of the way and out of the trial, and was only vaguely talked +of as a certain man called Abel, out of whom the jealousy arose. After +the acquittal she disappeared, and thus he lost the child and the +child's mother." + +"I want to ask--" + +"A moment, my dear boy, and I have done. That evil genius, Compeyson, +the worst of scoundrels among many scoundrels, knowing of his keeping +out of the way at that time and of his reasons for doing so, of course +afterwards held the knowledge over his head as a means of keeping him +poorer and working him harder. It was clear last night that this barbed +the point of Provis's animosity." + +"I want to know," said I, "and particularly, Herbert, whether he told +you when this happened?" + +"Particularly? Let me remember, then, what he said as to that. His +expression was, 'a round score o' year ago, and a'most directly after I +took up wi' Compeyson.' How old were you when you came upon him in the +little churchyard?" + +"I think in my seventh year." + +"Ay. It had happened some three or four years then, he said, and you +brought into his mind the little girl so tragically lost, who would have +been about your age." + +"Herbert," said I, after a short silence, in a hurried way, "can you see +me best by the light of the window, or the light of the fire?" + +"By the firelight," answered Herbert, coming close again. + +"Look at me." + +"I do look at you, my dear boy." + +"Touch me." + +"I do touch you, my dear boy." + +"You are not afraid that I am in any fever, or that my head is much +disordered by the accident of last night?" + +"N-no, my dear boy," said Herbert, after taking time to examine me. "You +are rather excited, but you are quite yourself." + +"I know I am quite myself. And the man we have in hiding down the river, +is Estella's Father." + + + + +Chapter LI + +What purpose I had in view when I was hot on tracing out and proving +Estella's parentage, I cannot say. It will presently be seen that the +question was not before me in a distinct shape until it was put before +me by a wiser head than my own. + +But when Herbert and I had held our momentous conversation, I was seized +with a feverish conviction that I ought to hunt the matter down,--that I +ought not to let it rest, but that I ought to see Mr. Jaggers, and come +at the bare truth. I really do not know whether I felt that I did this +for Estella's sake, or whether I was glad to transfer to the man in +whose preservation I was so much concerned some rays of the romantic +interest that had so long surrounded me. Perhaps the latter possibility +may be the nearer to the truth. + +Any way, I could scarcely be withheld from going out to Gerrard Street +that night. Herbert's representations that, if I did, I should probably +be laid up and stricken useless, when our fugitive's safety would depend +upon me, alone restrained my impatience. On the understanding, again +and again reiterated, that, come what would, I was to go to Mr. Jaggers +to-morrow, I at length submitted to keep quiet, and to have my hurts +looked after, and to stay at home. Early next morning we went out +together, and at the corner of Giltspur Street by Smithfield, I left +Herbert to go his way into the City, and took my way to Little Britain. + +There were periodical occasions when Mr. Jaggers and Wemmick went over +the office accounts, and checked off the vouchers, and put all things +straight. On these occasions, Wemmick took his books and papers into Mr. +Jaggers's room, and one of the upstairs clerks came down into the outer +office. Finding such clerk on Wemmick's post that morning, I knew +what was going on; but I was not sorry to have Mr. Jaggers and Wemmick +together, as Wemmick would then hear for himself that I said nothing to +compromise him. + +My appearance, with my arm bandaged and my coat loose over my shoulders, +favored my object. Although I had sent Mr. Jaggers a brief account of +the accident as soon as I had arrived in town, yet I had to give him all +the details now; and the speciality of the occasion caused our talk +to be less dry and hard, and less strictly regulated by the rules of +evidence, than it had been before. While I described the disaster, Mr. +Jaggers stood, according to his wont, before the fire. Wemmick leaned +back in his chair, staring at me, with his hands in the pockets of his +trousers, and his pen put horizontally into the post. The two brutal +casts, always inseparable in my mind from the official proceedings, +seemed to be congestively considering whether they didn't smell fire at +the present moment. + +My narrative finished, and their questions exhausted, I then produced +Miss Havisham's authority to receive the nine hundred pounds for +Herbert. Mr. Jaggers's eyes retired a little deeper into his head when +I handed him the tablets, but he presently handed them over to Wemmick, +with instructions to draw the check for his signature. While that was +in course of being done, I looked on at Wemmick as he wrote, and Mr. +Jaggers, poising and swaying himself on his well-polished boots, looked +on at me. "I am sorry, Pip," said he, as I put the check in my pocket, +when he had signed it, "that we do nothing for you." + +"Miss Havisham was good enough to ask me," I returned, "whether she +could do nothing for me, and I told her No." + +"Everybody should know his own business," said Mr. Jaggers. And I saw +Wemmick's lips form the words "portable property." + +"I should not have told her No, if I had been you," said Mr Jaggers; +"but every man ought to know his own business best." + +"Every man's business," said Wemmick, rather reproachfully towards me, +"is portable property." + +As I thought the time was now come for pursuing the theme I had at +heart, I said, turning on Mr. Jaggers:-- + +"I did ask something of Miss Havisham, however, sir. I asked her to give +me some information relative to her adopted daughter, and she gave me +all she possessed." + +"Did she?" said Mr. Jaggers, bending forward to look at his boots and +then straightening himself. "Hah! I don't think I should have done so, +if I had been Miss Havisham. But she ought to know her own business +best." + +"I know more of the history of Miss Havisham's adopted child than Miss +Havisham herself does, sir. I know her mother." + +Mr. Jaggers looked at me inquiringly, and repeated "Mother?" + +"I have seen her mother within these three days." + +"Yes?" said Mr. Jaggers. + +"And so have you, sir. And you have seen her still more recently." + +"Yes?" said Mr. Jaggers. + +"Perhaps I know more of Estella's history than even you do," said I. "I +know her father too." + +A certain stop that Mr. Jaggers came to in his manner--he was too +self-possessed to change his manner, but he could not help its being +brought to an indefinably attentive stop--assured me that he did not +know who her father was. This I had strongly suspected from Provis's +account (as Herbert had repeated it) of his having kept himself dark; +which I pieced on to the fact that he himself was not Mr. Jaggers's +client until some four years later, and when he could have no reason for +claiming his identity. But, I could not be sure of this unconsciousness +on Mr. Jaggers's part before, though I was quite sure of it now. + +"So! You know the young lady's father, Pip?" said Mr. Jaggers. + +"Yes," I replied, "and his name is Provis--from New South Wales." + +Even Mr. Jaggers started when I said those words. It was the slightest +start that could escape a man, the most carefully repressed and the +sooner checked, but he did start, though he made it a part of the +action of taking out his pocket-handkerchief. How Wemmick received the +announcement I am unable to say; for I was afraid to look at him just +then, lest Mr. Jaggers's sharpness should detect that there had been +some communication unknown to him between us. + +"And on what evidence, Pip," asked Mr. Jaggers, very coolly, as he +paused with his handkerchief half way to his nose, "does Provis make +this claim?" + +"He does not make it," said I, "and has never made it, and has no +knowledge or belief that his daughter is in existence." + +For once, the powerful pocket-handkerchief failed. My reply was so +unexpected, that Mr. Jaggers put the handkerchief back into his pocket +without completing the usual performance, folded his arms, and looked +with stern attention at me, though with an immovable face. + +Then I told him all I knew, and how I knew it; with the one reservation +that I left him to infer that I knew from Miss Havisham what I in fact +knew from Wemmick. I was very careful indeed as to that. Nor did I look +towards Wemmick until I had finished all I had to tell, and had been for +some time silently meeting Mr. Jaggers's look. When I did at last turn +my eyes in Wemmick's direction, I found that he had unposted his pen, +and was intent upon the table before him. + +"Hah!" said Mr. Jaggers at last, as he moved towards the papers on the +table. "What item was it you were at, Wemmick, when Mr. Pip came in?" + +But I could not submit to be thrown off in that way, and I made a +passionate, almost an indignant appeal, to him to be more frank and +manly with me. I reminded him of the false hopes into which I had +lapsed, the length of time they had lasted, and the discovery I had +made: and I hinted at the danger that weighed upon my spirits. I +represented myself as being surely worthy of some little confidence from +him, in return for the confidence I had just now imparted. I said that +I did not blame him, or suspect him, or mistrust him, but I wanted +assurance of the truth from him. And if he asked me why I wanted it, +and why I thought I had any right to it, I would tell him, little as he +cared for such poor dreams, that I had loved Estella dearly and long, +and that although I had lost her, and must live a bereaved life, +whatever concerned her was still nearer and dearer to me than anything +else in the world. And seeing that Mr. Jaggers stood quite still and +silent, and apparently quite obdurate, under this appeal, I turned to +Wemmick, and said, "Wemmick, I know you to be a man with a gentle +heart. I have seen your pleasant home, and your old father, and all the +innocent, cheerful playful ways with which you refresh your business +life. And I entreat you to say a word for me to Mr. Jaggers, and to +represent to him that, all circumstances considered, he ought to be more +open with me!" + +I have never seen two men look more oddly at one another than Mr. +Jaggers and Wemmick did after this apostrophe. At first, a misgiving +crossed me that Wemmick would be instantly dismissed from his +employment; but it melted as I saw Mr. Jaggers relax into something like +a smile, and Wemmick become bolder. + +"What's all this?" said Mr. Jaggers. "You with an old father, and you +with pleasant and playful ways?" + +"Well!" returned Wemmick. "If I don't bring 'em here, what does it +matter?" + +"Pip," said Mr. Jaggers, laying his hand upon my arm, and smiling +openly, "this man must be the most cunning impostor in all London." + +"Not a bit of it," returned Wemmick, growing bolder and bolder. "I think +you're another." + +Again they exchanged their former odd looks, each apparently still +distrustful that the other was taking him in. + +"You with a pleasant home?" said Mr. Jaggers. + +"Since it don't interfere with business," returned Wemmick, "let it be +so. Now, I look at you, sir, I shouldn't wonder if you might be planning +and contriving to have a pleasant home of your own one of these days, +when you're tired of all this work." + +Mr. Jaggers nodded his head retrospectively two or three times, and +actually drew a sigh. "Pip," said he, "we won't talk about 'poor +dreams;' you know more about such things than I, having much fresher +experience of that kind. But now about this other matter. I'll put a +case to you. Mind! I admit nothing." + +He waited for me to declare that I quite understood that he expressly +said that he admitted nothing. + +"Now, Pip," said Mr. Jaggers, "put this case. Put the case that a +woman, under such circumstances as you have mentioned, held her child +concealed, and was obliged to communicate the fact to her legal adviser, +on his representing to her that he must know, with an eye to the +latitude of his defence, how the fact stood about that child. Put the +case that, at the same time he held a trust to find a child for an +eccentric rich lady to adopt and bring up." + +"I follow you, sir." + +"Put the case that he lived in an atmosphere of evil, and that all he +saw of children was their being generated in great numbers for certain +destruction. Put the case that he often saw children solemnly tried at +a criminal bar, where they were held up to be seen; put the case that +he habitually knew of their being imprisoned, whipped, transported, +neglected, cast out, qualified in all ways for the hangman, and growing +up to be hanged. Put the case that pretty nigh all the children he saw +in his daily business life he had reason to look upon as so much +spawn, to develop into the fish that were to come to his net,--to be +prosecuted, defended, forsworn, made orphans, bedevilled somehow." + +"I follow you, sir." + +"Put the case, Pip, that here was one pretty little child out of the +heap who could be saved; whom the father believed dead, and dared make +no stir about; as to whom, over the mother, the legal adviser had this +power: "I know what you did, and how you did it. You came so and so, you +did such and such things to divert suspicion. I have tracked you through +it all, and I tell it you all. Part with the child, unless it should +be necessary to produce it to clear you, and then it shall be produced. +Give the child into my hands, and I will do my best to bring you off. If +you are saved, your child is saved too; if you are lost, your child is +still saved." Put the case that this was done, and that the woman was +cleared." + +"I understand you perfectly." + +"But that I make no admissions?" + +"That you make no admissions." And Wemmick repeated, "No admissions." + +"Put the case, Pip, that passion and the terror of death had a little +shaken the woman's intellects, and that when she was set at liberty, +she was scared out of the ways of the world, and went to him to be +sheltered. Put the case that he took her in, and that he kept down the +old, wild, violent nature whenever he saw an inkling of its breaking +out, by asserting his power over her in the old way. Do you comprehend +the imaginary case?" + +"Quite." + +"Put the case that the child grew up, and was married for money. That +the mother was still living. That the father was still living. That the +mother and father, unknown to one another, were dwelling within so many +miles, furlongs, yards if you like, of one another. That the secret was +still a secret, except that you had got wind of it. Put that last case +to yourself very carefully." + +"I do." + +"I ask Wemmick to put it to himself very carefully." + +And Wemmick said, "I do." + +"For whose sake would you reveal the secret? For the father's? I think +he would not be much the better for the mother. For the mother's? I +think if she had done such a deed she would be safer where she was. +For the daughter's? I think it would hardly serve her to establish her +parentage for the information of her husband, and to drag her back to +disgrace, after an escape of twenty years, pretty secure to last for +life. But add the case that you had loved her, Pip, and had made her the +subject of those 'poor dreams' which have, at one time or another, been +in the heads of more men than you think likely, then I tell you that you +had better--and would much sooner when you had thought well of it--chop +off that bandaged left hand of yours with your bandaged right hand, and +then pass the chopper on to Wemmick there, to cut that off too." + +I looked at Wemmick, whose face was very grave. He gravely touched his +lips with his forefinger. I did the same. Mr. Jaggers did the same. +"Now, Wemmick," said the latter then, resuming his usual manner, "what +item was it you were at when Mr. Pip came in?" + +Standing by for a little, while they were at work, I observed that the +odd looks they had cast at one another were repeated several times: with +this difference now, that each of them seemed suspicious, not to say +conscious, of having shown himself in a weak and unprofessional light to +the other. For this reason, I suppose, they were now inflexible with one +another; Mr. Jaggers being highly dictatorial, and Wemmick obstinately +justifying himself whenever there was the smallest point in abeyance for +a moment. I had never seen them on such ill terms; for generally they +got on very well indeed together. + +But they were both happily relieved by the opportune appearance of Mike, +the client with the fur cap and the habit of wiping his nose on his +sleeve, whom I had seen on the very first day of my appearance within +those walls. This individual, who, either in his own person or in that +of some member of his family, seemed to be always in trouble (which in +that place meant Newgate), called to announce that his eldest daughter +was taken up on suspicion of shoplifting. As he imparted this melancholy +circumstance to Wemmick, Mr. Jaggers standing magisterially before the +fire and taking no share in the proceedings, Mike's eye happened to +twinkle with a tear. + +"What are you about?" demanded Wemmick, with the utmost indignation. +"What do you come snivelling here for?" + +"I didn't go to do it, Mr. Wemmick." + +"You did," said Wemmick. "How dare you? You're not in a fit state to +come here, if you can't come here without spluttering like a bad pen. +What do you mean by it?" + +"A man can't help his feelings, Mr. Wemmick," pleaded Mike. + +"His what?" demanded Wemmick, quite savagely. "Say that again!" + +"Now look here my man," said Mr. Jaggers, advancing a step, and pointing +to the door. "Get out of this office. I'll have no feelings here. Get +out." + +"It serves you right," said Wemmick, "Get out." + +So, the unfortunate Mike very humbly withdrew, and Mr. Jaggers and +Wemmick appeared to have re-established their good understanding, and +went to work again with an air of refreshment upon them as if they had +just had lunch. + + + + +Chapter LII + + +From Little Britain I went, with my check in my pocket, to Miss +Skiffins's brother, the accountant; and Miss Skiffins's brother, the +accountant, going straight to Clarriker's and bringing Clarriker to me, +I had the great satisfaction of concluding that arrangement. It was the +only good thing I had done, and the only completed thing I had done, +since I was first apprised of my great expectations. + +Clarriker informing me on that occasion that the affairs of the House +were steadily progressing, that he would now be able to establish a +small branch-house in the East which was much wanted for the extension +of the business, and that Herbert in his new partnership capacity would +go out and take charge of it, I found that I must have prepared for +a separation from my friend, even though my own affairs had been more +settled. And now, indeed, I felt as if my last anchor were loosening its +hold, and I should soon be driving with the winds and waves. + +But there was recompense in the joy with which Herbert would come home +of a night and tell me of these changes, little imagining that he told +me no news, and would sketch airy pictures of himself conducting Clara +Barley to the land of the Arabian Nights, and of me going out to join +them (with a caravan of camels, I believe), and of our all going up the +Nile and seeing wonders. Without being sanguine as to my own part in +those bright plans, I felt that Herbert's way was clearing fast, and +that old Bill Barley had but to stick to his pepper and rum, and his +daughter would soon be happily provided for. + +We had now got into the month of March. My left arm, though it presented +no bad symptoms, took, in the natural course, so long to heal that I +was still unable to get a coat on. My right arm was tolerably restored; +disfigured, but fairly serviceable. + +On a Monday morning, when Herbert and I were at breakfast, I received +the following letter from Wemmick by the post. + +"Walworth. Burn this as soon as read. Early in the week, or say +Wednesday, you might do what you know of, if you felt disposed to try +it. Now burn." + +When I had shown this to Herbert and had put it in the fire--but not +before we had both got it by heart--we considered what to do. For, of +course my being disabled could now be no longer kept out of view. + +"I have thought it over again and again," said Herbert, "and I think I +know a better course than taking a Thames waterman. Take Startop. A good +fellow, a skilled hand, fond of us, and enthusiastic and honorable." + +I had thought of him more than once. + +"But how much would you tell him, Herbert?" + +"It is necessary to tell him very little. Let him suppose it a mere +freak, but a secret one, until the morning comes: then let him know that +there is urgent reason for your getting Provis aboard and away. You go +with him?" + +"No doubt." + +"Where?" + +It had seemed to me, in the many anxious considerations I had given the +point, almost indifferent what port we made for,--Hamburg, Rotterdam, +Antwerp,--the place signified little, so that he was out of England. Any +foreign steamer that fell in our way and would take us up would do. +I had always proposed to myself to get him well down the river in the +boat; certainly well beyond Gravesend, which was a critical place for +search or inquiry if suspicion were afoot. As foreign steamers would +leave London at about the time of high-water, our plan would be to get +down the river by a previous ebb-tide, and lie by in some quiet spot +until we could pull off to one. The time when one would be due where we +lay, wherever that might be, could be calculated pretty nearly, if we +made inquiries beforehand. + +Herbert assented to all this, and we went out immediately after +breakfast to pursue our investigations. We found that a steamer for +Hamburg was likely to suit our purpose best, and we directed our +thoughts chiefly to that vessel. But we noted down what other foreign +steamers would leave London with the same tide, and we satisfied +ourselves that we knew the build and color of each. We then separated +for a few hours: I, to get at once such passports as were necessary; +Herbert, to see Startop at his lodgings. We both did what we had to do +without any hindrance, and when we met again at one o'clock reported +it done. I, for my part, was prepared with passports; Herbert had seen +Startop, and he was more than ready to join. + +Those two should pull a pair of oars, we settled, and I would steer; our +charge would be sitter, and keep quiet; as speed was not our object, we +should make way enough. We arranged that Herbert should not come home to +dinner before going to Mill Pond Bank that evening; that he should +not go there at all to-morrow evening, Tuesday; that he should prepare +Provis to come down to some stairs hard by the house, on Wednesday, when +he saw us approach, and not sooner; that all the arrangements with +him should be concluded that Monday night; and that he should be +communicated with no more in any way, until we took him on board. + +These precautions well understood by both of us, I went home. + +On opening the outer door of our chambers with my key, I found a letter +in the box, directed to me; a very dirty letter, though not ill-written. +It had been delivered by hand (of course, since I left home), and its +contents were these:-- + +"If you are not afraid to come to the old marshes to-night or to-morrow +night at nine, and to come to the little sluice-house by the limekiln, +you had better come. If you want information regarding your uncle +Provis, you had much better come and tell no one, and lose no time. You +must come alone. Bring this with you." + +I had had load enough upon my mind before the receipt of this strange +letter. What to do now, I could not tell. And the worst was, that I must +decide quickly, or I should miss the afternoon coach, which would take +me down in time for to-night. To-morrow night I could not think of +going, for it would be too close upon the time of the flight. And again, +for anything I knew, the proffered information might have some important +bearing on the flight itself. + +If I had had ample time for consideration, I believe I should still have +gone. Having hardly any time for consideration,--my watch showing me +that the coach started within half an hour,--I resolved to go. I should +certainly not have gone, but for the reference to my Uncle Provis. That, +coming on Wemmick's letter and the morning's busy preparation, turned +the scale. + +It is so difficult to become clearly possessed of the contents of almost +any letter, in a violent hurry, that I had to read this mysterious +epistle again twice, before its injunction to me to be secret got +mechanically into my mind. Yielding to it in the same mechanical kind of +way, I left a note in pencil for Herbert, telling him that as I should +be so soon going away, I knew not for how long, I had decided to hurry +down and back, to ascertain for myself how Miss Havisham was faring. +I had then barely time to get my great-coat, lock up the chambers, +and make for the coach-office by the short by-ways. If I had taken a +hackney-chariot and gone by the streets, I should have missed my aim; +going as I did, I caught the coach just as it came out of the yard. I +was the only inside passenger, jolting away knee-deep in straw, when I +came to myself. + +For I really had not been myself since the receipt of the letter; it had +so bewildered me, ensuing on the hurry of the morning. The morning hurry +and flutter had been great; for, long and anxiously as I had waited for +Wemmick, his hint had come like a surprise at last. And now I began +to wonder at myself for being in the coach, and to doubt whether I had +sufficient reason for being there, and to consider whether I should +get out presently and go back, and to argue against ever heeding an +anonymous communication, and, in short, to pass through all those phases +of contradiction and indecision to which I suppose very few hurried +people are strangers. Still, the reference to Provis by name mastered +everything. I reasoned as I had reasoned already without knowing it,--if +that be reasoning,--in case any harm should befall him through my not +going, how could I ever forgive myself! + +It was dark before we got down, and the journey seemed long and dreary +to me, who could see little of it inside, and who could not go outside +in my disabled state. Avoiding the Blue Boar, I put up at an inn of +minor reputation down the town, and ordered some dinner. While it was +preparing, I went to Satis House and inquired for Miss Havisham; she was +still very ill, though considered something better. + +My inn had once been a part of an ancient ecclesiastical house, and I +dined in a little octagonal common-room, like a font. As I was not able +to cut my dinner, the old landlord with a shining bald head did it for +me. This bringing us into conversation, he was so good as to entertain +me with my own story,--of course with the popular feature that +Pumblechook was my earliest benefactor and the founder of my fortunes. + +"Do you know the young man?" said I. + +"Know him!" repeated the landlord. "Ever since he was--no height at +all." + +"Does he ever come back to this neighborhood?" + +"Ay, he comes back," said the landlord, "to his great friends, now and +again, and gives the cold shoulder to the man that made him." + +"What man is that?" + +"Him that I speak of," said the landlord. "Mr. Pumblechook." + +"Is he ungrateful to no one else?" + +"No doubt he would be, if he could," returned the landlord, "but he +can't. And why? Because Pumblechook done everything for him." + +"Does Pumblechook say so?" + +"Say so!" replied the landlord. "He han't no call to say so." + +"But does he say so?" + +"It would turn a man's blood to white wine winegar to hear him tell of +it, sir," said the landlord. + +I thought, "Yet Joe, dear Joe, you never tell of it. Long-suffering and +loving Joe, you never complain. Nor you, sweet-tempered Biddy!" + +"Your appetite's been touched like by your accident," said the landlord, +glancing at the bandaged arm under my coat. "Try a tenderer bit." + +"No, thank you," I replied, turning from the table to brood over the +fire. "I can eat no more. Please take it away." + +I had never been struck at so keenly, for my thanklessness to Joe, as +through the brazen impostor Pumblechook. The falser he, the truer Joe; +the meaner he, the nobler Joe. + +My heart was deeply and most deservedly humbled as I mused over the fire +for an hour or more. The striking of the clock aroused me, but not from +my dejection or remorse, and I got up and had my coat fastened round +my neck, and went out. I had previously sought in my pockets for the +letter, that I might refer to it again; but I could not find it, and +was uneasy to think that it must have been dropped in the straw of +the coach. I knew very well, however, that the appointed place was the +little sluice-house by the limekiln on the marshes, and the hour nine. +Towards the marshes I now went straight, having no time to spare. + + + + +Chapter LIII + +It was a dark night, though the full moon rose as I left the enclosed +lands, and passed out upon the marshes. Beyond their dark line there was +a ribbon of clear sky, hardly broad enough to hold the red large moon. +In a few minutes she had ascended out of that clear field, in among the +piled mountains of cloud. + +There was a melancholy wind, and the marshes were very dismal. A +stranger would have found them insupportable, and even to me they were +so oppressive that I hesitated, half inclined to go back. But I knew +them well, and could have found my way on a far darker night, and had +no excuse for returning, being there. So, having come there against my +inclination, I went on against it. + +The direction that I took was not that in which my old home lay, nor +that in which we had pursued the convicts. My back was turned towards +the distant Hulks as I walked on, and, though I could see the old lights +away on the spits of sand, I saw them over my shoulder. I knew the +limekiln as well as I knew the old Battery, but they were miles apart; +so that, if a light had been burning at each point that night, there +would have been a long strip of the blank horizon between the two bright +specks. + +At first, I had to shut some gates after me, and now and then to stand +still while the cattle that were lying in the banked-up pathway arose +and blundered down among the grass and reeds. But after a little while I +seemed to have the whole flats to myself. + +It was another half-hour before I drew near to the kiln. The lime was +burning with a sluggish stifling smell, but the fires were made up and +left, and no workmen were visible. Hard by was a small stone-quarry. It +lay directly in my way, and had been worked that day, as I saw by the +tools and barrows that were lying about. + +Coming up again to the marsh level out of this excavation,--for the rude +path lay through it,--I saw a light in the old sluice-house. I quickened +my pace, and knocked at the door with my hand. Waiting for some reply, +I looked about me, noticing how the sluice was abandoned and broken, and +how the house--of wood with a tiled roof--would not be proof against the +weather much longer, if it were so even now, and how the mud and ooze +were coated with lime, and how the choking vapor of the kiln crept in a +ghostly way towards me. Still there was no answer, and I knocked again. +No answer still, and I tried the latch. + +It rose under my hand, and the door yielded. Looking in, I saw a lighted +candle on a table, a bench, and a mattress on a truckle bedstead. As +there was a loft above, I called, "Is there any one here?" but no voice +answered. Then I looked at my watch, and, finding that it was past nine, +called again, "Is there any one here?" There being still no answer, I +went out at the door, irresolute what to do. + +It was beginning to rain fast. Seeing nothing save what I had seen +already, I turned back into the house, and stood just within the shelter +of the doorway, looking out into the night. While I was considering that +some one must have been there lately and must soon be coming back, or +the candle would not be burning, it came into my head to look if the +wick were long. I turned round to do so, and had taken up the candle in +my hand, when it was extinguished by some violent shock; and the next +thing I comprehended was, that I had been caught in a strong running +noose, thrown over my head from behind. + +"Now," said a suppressed voice with an oath, "I've got you!" + +"What is this?" I cried, struggling. "Who is it? Help, help, help!" + +Not only were my arms pulled close to my sides, but the pressure on +my bad arm caused me exquisite pain. Sometimes, a strong man's hand, +sometimes a strong man's breast, was set against my mouth to deaden +my cries, and with a hot breath always close to me, I struggled +ineffectually in the dark, while I was fastened tight to the wall. "And +now," said the suppressed voice with another oath, "call out again, and +I'll make short work of you!" + +Faint and sick with the pain of my injured arm, bewildered by the +surprise, and yet conscious how easily this threat could be put in +execution, I desisted, and tried to ease my arm were it ever so little. +But, it was bound too tight for that. I felt as if, having been burnt +before, it were now being boiled. + +The sudden exclusion of the night, and the substitution of black +darkness in its place, warned me that the man had closed a shutter. +After groping about for a little, he found the flint and steel he +wanted, and began to strike a light. I strained my sight upon the sparks +that fell among the tinder, and upon which he breathed and breathed, +match in hand, but I could only see his lips, and the blue point of +the match; even those but fitfully. The tinder was damp,--no wonder +there,--and one after another the sparks died out. + +The man was in no hurry, and struck again with the flint and steel. As +the sparks fell thick and bright about him, I could see his hands, and +touches of his face, and could make out that he was seated and bending +over the table; but nothing more. Presently I saw his blue lips again, +breathing on the tinder, and then a flare of light flashed up, and +showed me Orlick. + +Whom I had looked for, I don't know. I had not looked for him. Seeing +him, I felt that I was in a dangerous strait indeed, and I kept my eyes +upon him. + +He lighted the candle from the flaring match with great deliberation, +and dropped the match, and trod it out. Then he put the candle away from +him on the table, so that he could see me, and sat with his arms folded +on the table and looked at me. I made out that I was fastened to a stout +perpendicular ladder a few inches from the wall,--a fixture there,--the +means of ascent to the loft above. + +"Now," said he, when we had surveyed one another for some time, "I've +got you." + +"Unbind me. Let me go!" + +"Ah!" he returned, "I'll let you go. I'll let you go to the moon, I'll +let you go to the stars. All in good time." + +"Why have you lured me here?" + +"Don't you know?" said he, with a deadly look. + +"Why have you set upon me in the dark?" + +"Because I mean to do it all myself. One keeps a secret better than two. +O you enemy, you enemy!" + +His enjoyment of the spectacle I furnished, as he sat with his arms +folded on the table, shaking his head at me and hugging himself, had a +malignity in it that made me tremble. As I watched him in silence, +he put his hand into the corner at his side, and took up a gun with a +brass-bound stock. + +"Do you know this?" said he, making as if he would take aim at me. "Do +you know where you saw it afore? Speak, wolf!" + +"Yes," I answered. + +"You cost me that place. You did. Speak!" + +"What else could I do?" + +"You did that, and that would be enough, without more. How dared you to +come betwixt me and a young woman I liked?" + +"When did I?" + +"When didn't you? It was you as always give Old Orlick a bad name to +her." + +"You gave it to yourself; you gained it for yourself. I could have done +you no harm, if you had done yourself none." + +"You're a liar. And you'll take any pains, and spend any money, to drive +me out of this country, will you?" said he, repeating my words to Biddy +in the last interview I had with her. "Now, I'll tell you a piece of +information. It was never so well worth your while to get me out of this +country as it is to-night. Ah! If it was all your money twenty times +told, to the last brass farden!" As he shook his heavy hand at me, with +his mouth snarling like a tiger's, I felt that it was true. + +"What are you going to do to me?" + +"I'm a going," said he, bringing his fist down upon the table with a +heavy blow, and rising as the blow fell to give it greater force,--"I'm +a going to have your life!" + +He leaned forward staring at me, slowly unclenched his hand and drew it +across his mouth as if his mouth watered for me, and sat down again. + +"You was always in Old Orlick's way since ever you was a child. You goes +out of his way this present night. He'll have no more on you. You're +dead." + +I felt that I had come to the brink of my grave. For a moment I looked +wildly round my trap for any chance of escape; but there was none. + +"More than that," said he, folding his arms on the table again, "I won't +have a rag of you, I won't have a bone of you, left on earth. I'll put +your body in the kiln,--I'd carry two such to it, on my Shoulders,--and, +let people suppose what they may of you, they shall never know nothing." + +My mind, with inconceivable rapidity followed out all the consequences +of such a death. Estella's father would believe I had deserted him, +would be taken, would die accusing me; even Herbert would doubt me, +when he compared the letter I had left for him with the fact that I had +called at Miss Havisham's gate for only a moment; Joe and Biddy would +never know how sorry I had been that night, none would ever know what +I had suffered, how true I had meant to be, what an agony I had passed +through. The death close before me was terrible, but far more terrible +than death was the dread of being misremembered after death. And +so quick were my thoughts, that I saw myself despised by unborn +generations,--Estella's children, and their children,--while the +wretch's words were yet on his lips. + +"Now, wolf," said he, "afore I kill you like any other beast,--which is +wot I mean to do and wot I have tied you up for,--I'll have a good look +at you and a good goad at you. O you enemy!" + +It had passed through my thoughts to cry out for help again; though +few could know better than I, the solitary nature of the spot, and the +hopelessness of aid. But as he sat gloating over me, I was supported by +a scornful detestation of him that sealed my lips. Above all things, I +resolved that I would not entreat him, and that I would die making some +last poor resistance to him. Softened as my thoughts of all the rest of +men were in that dire extremity; humbly beseeching pardon, as I did, of +Heaven; melted at heart, as I was, by the thought that I had taken no +farewell, and never now could take farewell of those who were dear to +me, or could explain myself to them, or ask for their compassion on my +miserable errors,--still, if I could have killed him, even in dying, I +would have done it. + +He had been drinking, and his eyes were red and bloodshot. Around his +neck was slung a tin bottle, as I had often seen his meat and drink +slung about him in other days. He brought the bottle to his lips, and +took a fiery drink from it; and I smelt the strong spirits that I saw +flash into his face. + +"Wolf!" said he, folding his arms again, "Old Orlick's a going to tell +you somethink. It was you as did for your shrew sister." + +Again my mind, with its former inconceivable rapidity, had exhausted the +whole subject of the attack upon my sister, her illness, and her death, +before his slow and hesitating speech had formed these words. + +"It was you, villain," said I. + +"I tell you it was your doing,--I tell you it was done through you," he +retorted, catching up the gun, and making a blow with the stock at the +vacant air between us. "I come upon her from behind, as I come upon you +to-night. I giv' it her! I left her for dead, and if there had been a +limekiln as nigh her as there is now nigh you, she shouldn't have come +to life again. But it warn't Old Orlick as did it; it was you. You was +favored, and he was bullied and beat. Old Orlick bullied and beat, eh? +Now you pays for it. You done it; now you pays for it." + +He drank again, and became more ferocious. I saw by his tilting of +the bottle that there was no great quantity left in it. I distinctly +understood that he was working himself up with its contents to make an +end of me. I knew that every drop it held was a drop of my life. I knew +that when I was changed into a part of the vapor that had crept towards +me but a little while before, like my own warning ghost, he would do +as he had done in my sister's case,--make all haste to the town, and +be seen slouching about there drinking at the alehouses. My rapid mind +pursued him to the town, made a picture of the street with him in it, +and contrasted its lights and life with the lonely marsh and the white +vapor creeping over it, into which I should have dissolved. + +It was not only that I could have summed up years and years and years +while he said a dozen words, but that what he did say presented pictures +to me, and not mere words. In the excited and exalted state of my brain, +I could not think of a place without seeing it, or of persons without +seeing them. It is impossible to overstate the vividness of these +images, and yet I was so intent, all the time, upon him himself,--who +would not be intent on the tiger crouching to spring!--that I knew of +the slightest action of his fingers. + +When he had drunk this second time, he rose from the bench on which +he sat, and pushed the table aside. Then, he took up the candle, and, +shading it with his murderous hand so as to throw its light on me, stood +before me, looking at me and enjoying the sight. + +"Wolf, I'll tell you something more. It was Old Orlick as you tumbled +over on your stairs that night." + +I saw the staircase with its extinguished lamps. I saw the shadows of +the heavy stair-rails, thrown by the watchman's lantern on the wall. +I saw the rooms that I was never to see again; here, a door half open; +there, a door closed; all the articles of furniture around. + +"And why was Old Orlick there? I'll tell you something more, wolf. +You and her have pretty well hunted me out of this country, so far as +getting a easy living in it goes, and I've took up with new companions, +and new masters. Some of 'em writes my letters when I wants 'em +wrote,--do you mind?--writes my letters, wolf! They writes fifty hands; +they're not like sneaking you, as writes but one. I've had a firm mind +and a firm will to have your life, since you was down here at your +sister's burying. I han't seen a way to get you safe, and I've looked +arter you to know your ins and outs. For, says Old Orlick to himself, +'Somehow or another I'll have him!' What! When I looks for you, I finds +your uncle Provis, eh?" + +Mill Pond Bank, and Chinks's Basin, and the Old Green Copper Rope-walk, +all so clear and plain! Provis in his rooms, the signal whose use was +over, pretty Clara, the good motherly woman, old Bill Barley on his +back, all drifting by, as on the swift stream of my life fast running +out to sea! + +"You with a uncle too! Why, I know'd you at Gargery's when you was so +small a wolf that I could have took your weazen betwixt this finger and +thumb and chucked you away dead (as I'd thoughts o' doing, odd times, +when I see you loitering amongst the pollards on a Sunday), and you +hadn't found no uncles then. No, not you! But when Old Orlick come for +to hear that your uncle Provis had most like wore the leg-iron wot Old +Orlick had picked up, filed asunder, on these meshes ever so many year +ago, and wot he kep by him till he dropped your sister with it, like +a bullock, as he means to drop you--hey?--when he come for to hear +that--hey?" + +In his savage taunting, he flared the candle so close at me that I +turned my face aside to save it from the flame. + +"Ah!" he cried, laughing, after doing it again, "the burnt child dreads +the fire! Old Orlick knowed you was burnt, Old Orlick knowed you was +smuggling your uncle Provis away, Old Orlick's a match for you and +know'd you'd come to-night! Now I'll tell you something more, wolf, and +this ends it. There's them that's as good a match for your uncle Provis +as Old Orlick has been for you. Let him 'ware them, when he's lost his +nevvy! Let him 'ware them, when no man can't find a rag of his dear +relation's clothes, nor yet a bone of his body. There's them that can't +and that won't have Magwitch,--yes, I know the name!--alive in the same +land with them, and that's had such sure information of him when he +was alive in another land, as that he couldn't and shouldn't leave it +unbeknown and put them in danger. P'raps it's them that writes fifty +hands, and that's not like sneaking you as writes but one. 'Ware +Compeyson, Magwitch, and the gallows!" + +He flared the candle at me again, smoking my face and hair, and for an +instant blinding me, and turned his powerful back as he replaced the +light on the table. I had thought a prayer, and had been with Joe and +Biddy and Herbert, before he turned towards me again. + +There was a clear space of a few feet between the table and the opposite +wall. Within this space, he now slouched backwards and forwards. His +great strength seemed to sit stronger upon him than ever before, as he +did this with his hands hanging loose and heavy at his sides, and with +his eyes scowling at me. I had no grain of hope left. Wild as my inward +hurry was, and wonderful the force of the pictures that rushed by me +instead of thoughts, I could yet clearly understand that, unless he had +resolved that I was within a few moments of surely perishing out of all +human knowledge, he would never have told me what he had told. + +Of a sudden, he stopped, took the cork out of his bottle, and tossed +it away. Light as it was, I heard it fall like a plummet. He swallowed +slowly, tilting up the bottle by little and little, and now he looked at +me no more. The last few drops of liquor he poured into the palm of his +hand, and licked up. Then, with a sudden hurry of violence and swearing +horribly, he threw the bottle from him, and stooped; and I saw in his +hand a stone-hammer with a long heavy handle. + +The resolution I had made did not desert me, for, without uttering +one vain word of appeal to him, I shouted out with all my might, and +struggled with all my might. It was only my head and my legs that I +could move, but to that extent I struggled with all the force, until +then unknown, that was within me. In the same instant I heard responsive +shouts, saw figures and a gleam of light dash in at the door, heard +voices and tumult, and saw Orlick emerge from a struggle of men, as if +it were tumbling water, clear the table at a leap, and fly out into the +night. + +After a blank, I found that I was lying unbound, on the floor, in the +same place, with my head on some one's knee. My eyes were fixed on the +ladder against the wall, when I came to myself,--had opened on it before +my mind saw it,--and thus as I recovered consciousness, I knew that I +was in the place where I had lost it. + +Too indifferent at first, even to look round and ascertain who supported +me, I was lying looking at the ladder, when there came between me and it +a face. The face of Trabb's boy! + +"I think he's all right!" said Trabb's boy, in a sober voice; "but ain't +he just pale though!" + +At these words, the face of him who supported me looked over into mine, +and I saw my supporter to be-- + +"Herbert! Great Heaven!" + +"Softly," said Herbert. "Gently, Handel. Don't be too eager." + +"And our old comrade, Startop!" I cried, as he too bent over me. + +"Remember what he is going to assist us in," said Herbert, "and be +calm." + +The allusion made me spring up; though I dropped again from the pain +in my arm. "The time has not gone by, Herbert, has it? What night is +to-night? How long have I been here?" For, I had a strange and +strong misgiving that I had been lying there a long time--a day and a +night,--two days and nights,--more. + +"The time has not gone by. It is still Monday night." + +"Thank God!" + +"And you have all to-morrow, Tuesday, to rest in," said Herbert. "But +you can't help groaning, my dear Handel. What hurt have you got? Can you +stand?" + +"Yes, yes," said I, "I can walk. I have no hurt but in this throbbing +arm." + +They laid it bare, and did what they could. It was violently swollen and +inflamed, and I could scarcely endure to have it touched. But, they tore +up their handkerchiefs to make fresh bandages, and carefully replaced +it in the sling, until we could get to the town and obtain some cooling +lotion to put upon it. In a little while we had shut the door of the +dark and empty sluice-house, and were passing through the quarry on our +way back. Trabb's boy--Trabb's overgrown young man now--went before us +with a lantern, which was the light I had seen come in at the door. But, +the moon was a good two hours higher than when I had last seen the sky, +and the night, though rainy, was much lighter. The white vapor of the +kiln was passing from us as we went by, and as I had thought a prayer +before, I thought a thanksgiving now. + +Entreating Herbert to tell me how he had come to my rescue,--which at +first he had flatly refused to do, but had insisted on my remaining +quiet,--I learnt that I had in my hurry dropped the letter, open, in our +chambers, where he, coming home to bring with him Startop whom he had +met in the street on his way to me, found it, very soon after I +was gone. Its tone made him uneasy, and the more so because of the +inconsistency between it and the hasty letter I had left for him. His +uneasiness increasing instead of subsiding, after a quarter of an +hour's consideration, he set off for the coach-office with Startop, who +volunteered his company, to make inquiry when the next coach went +down. Finding that the afternoon coach was gone, and finding that his +uneasiness grew into positive alarm, as obstacles came in his way, he +resolved to follow in a post-chaise. So he and Startop arrived at the +Blue Boar, fully expecting there to find me, or tidings of me; but, +finding neither, went on to Miss Havisham's, where they lost me. +Hereupon they went back to the hotel (doubtless at about the time when +I was hearing the popular local version of my own story) to refresh +themselves and to get some one to guide them out upon the marshes. Among +the loungers under the Boar's archway happened to be Trabb's Boy,--true +to his ancient habit of happening to be everywhere where he had no +business,--and Trabb's boy had seen me passing from Miss Havisham's in +the direction of my dining-place. Thus Trabb's boy became their guide, +and with him they went out to the sluice-house, though by the town way +to the marshes, which I had avoided. Now, as they went along, Herbert +reflected, that I might, after all, have been brought there on some +genuine and serviceable errand tending to Provis's safety, and, +bethinking himself that in that case interruption must be mischievous, +left his guide and Startop on the edge of the quarry, and went on by +himself, and stole round the house two or three times, endeavouring to +ascertain whether all was right within. As he could hear nothing but +indistinct sounds of one deep rough voice (this was while my mind was so +busy), he even at last began to doubt whether I was there, when suddenly +I cried out loudly, and he answered the cries, and rushed in, closely +followed by the other two. + +When I told Herbert what had passed within the house, he was for our +immediately going before a magistrate in the town, late at night as it +was, and getting out a warrant. But, I had already considered that such +a course, by detaining us there, or binding us to come back, might +be fatal to Provis. There was no gainsaying this difficulty, and we +relinquished all thoughts of pursuing Orlick at that time. For the +present, under the circumstances, we deemed it prudent to make rather +light of the matter to Trabb's boy; who, I am convinced, would have been +much affected by disappointment, if he had known that his intervention +saved me from the limekiln. Not that Trabb's boy was of a malignant +nature, but that he had too much spare vivacity, and that it was in his +constitution to want variety and excitement at anybody's expense. When +we parted, I presented him with two guineas (which seemed to meet his +views), and told him that I was sorry ever to have had an ill opinion of +him (which made no impression on him at all). + +Wednesday being so close upon us, we determined to go back to London +that night, three in the post-chaise; the rather, as we should then be +clear away before the night's adventure began to be talked of. Herbert +got a large bottle of stuff for my arm; and by dint of having this stuff +dropped over it all the night through, I was just able to bear its pain +on the journey. It was daylight when we reached the Temple, and I went +at once to bed, and lay in bed all day. + +My terror, as I lay there, of falling ill, and being unfitted for +to-morrow, was so besetting, that I wonder it did not disable me of +itself. It would have done so, pretty surely, in conjunction with the +mental wear and tear I had suffered, but for the unnatural strain upon +me that to-morrow was. So anxiously looked forward to, charged with such +consequences, its results so impenetrably hidden, though so near. + +No precaution could have been more obvious than our refraining +from communication with him that day; yet this again increased my +restlessness. I started at every footstep and every sound, believing +that he was discovered and taken, and this was the messenger to tell +me so. I persuaded myself that I knew he was taken; that there was +something more upon my mind than a fear or a presentiment; that the fact +had occurred, and I had a mysterious knowledge of it. As the days wore +on, and no ill news came, as the day closed in and darkness fell, +my overshadowing dread of being disabled by illness before to-morrow +morning altogether mastered me. My burning arm throbbed, and my burning +head throbbed, and I fancied I was beginning to wander. I counted up to +high numbers, to make sure of myself, and repeated passages that I knew +in prose and verse. It happened sometimes that in the mere escape of a +fatigued mind, I dozed for some moments or forgot; then I would say to +myself with a start, "Now it has come, and I am turning delirious!" + +They kept me very quiet all day, and kept my arm constantly dressed, and +gave me cooling drinks. Whenever I fell asleep, I awoke with the notion +I had had in the sluice-house, that a long time had elapsed and the +opportunity to save him was gone. About midnight I got out of bed +and went to Herbert, with the conviction that I had been asleep for +four-and-twenty hours, and that Wednesday was past. It was the last +self-exhausting effort of my fretfulness, for after that I slept +soundly. + +Wednesday morning was dawning when I looked out of window. The winking +lights upon the bridges were already pale, the coming sun was like a +marsh of fire on the horizon. The river, still dark and mysterious, was +spanned by bridges that were turning coldly gray, with here and there +at top a warm touch from the burning in the sky. As I looked along +the clustered roofs, with church-towers and spires shooting into the +unusually clear air, the sun rose up, and a veil seemed to be drawn from +the river, and millions of sparkles burst out upon its waters. From me +too, a veil seemed to be drawn, and I felt strong and well. + +Herbert lay asleep in his bed, and our old fellow-student lay asleep on +the sofa. I could not dress myself without help; but I made up the fire, +which was still burning, and got some coffee ready for them. In good +time they too started up strong and well, and we admitted the sharp +morning air at the windows, and looked at the tide that was still +flowing towards us. + +"When it turns at nine o'clock," said Herbert, cheerfully, "look out for +us, and stand ready, you over there at Mill Pond Bank!" + + + + +Chapter LIV + +It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind +blows cold: when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade. +We had our pea-coats with us, and I took a bag. Of all my worldly +possessions I took no more than the few necessaries that filled the +bag. Where I might go, what I might do, or when I might return, were +questions utterly unknown to me; nor did I vex my mind with them, for +it was wholly set on Provis's safety. I only wondered for the passing +moment, as I stopped at the door and looked back, under what altered +circumstances I should next see those rooms, if ever. + +We loitered down to the Temple stairs, and stood loitering there, as if +we were not quite decided to go upon the water at all. Of course, I had +taken care that the boat should be ready and everything in order. After +a little show of indecision, which there were none to see but the two +or three amphibious creatures belonging to our Temple stairs, we went +on board and cast off; Herbert in the bow, I steering. It was then about +high-water,--half-past eight. + +Our plan was this. The tide, beginning to run down at nine, and being +with us until three, we intended still to creep on after it had turned, +and row against it until dark. We should then be well in those long +reaches below Gravesend, between Kent and Essex, where the river is +broad and solitary, where the water-side inhabitants are very few, and +where lone public-houses are scattered here and there, of which we could +choose one for a resting-place. There, we meant to lie by all night. +The steamer for Hamburg and the steamer for Rotterdam would start from +London at about nine on Thursday morning. We should know at what time +to expect them, according to where we were, and would hail the first; +so that, if by any accident we were not taken abroad, we should have +another chance. We knew the distinguishing marks of each vessel. + +The relief of being at last engaged in the execution of the purpose +was so great to me that I felt it difficult to realize the condition in +which I had been a few hours before. The crisp air, the sunlight, the +movement on the river, and the moving river itself,--the road that ran +with us, seeming to sympathize with us, animate us, and encourage us +on,--freshened me with new hope. I felt mortified to be of so little use +in the boat; but, there were few better oarsmen than my two friends, and +they rowed with a steady stroke that was to last all day. + +At that time, the steam-traffic on the Thames was far below its present +extent, and watermen's boats were far more numerous. Of barges, sailing +colliers, and coasting-traders, there were perhaps, as many as now; +but of steam-ships, great and small, not a tithe or a twentieth part +so many. Early as it was, there were plenty of scullers going here and +there that morning, and plenty of barges dropping down with the tide; +the navigation of the river between bridges, in an open boat, was a much +easier and commoner matter in those days than it is in these; and we +went ahead among many skiffs and wherries briskly. + +Old London Bridge was soon passed, and old Billingsgate Market with its +oyster-boats and Dutchmen, and the White Tower and Traitor's Gate, and +we were in among the tiers of shipping. Here were the Leith, Aberdeen, +and Glasgow steamers, loading and unloading goods, and looking immensely +high out of the water as we passed alongside; here, were colliers by the +score and score, with the coal-whippers plunging off stages on deck, as +counterweights to measures of coal swinging up, which were then rattled +over the side into barges; here, at her moorings was to-morrow's steamer +for Rotterdam, of which we took good notice; and here to-morrow's for +Hamburg, under whose bowsprit we crossed. And now I, sitting in the +stern, could see, with a faster beating heart, Mill Pond Bank and Mill +Pond stairs. + +"Is he there?" said Herbert. + +"Not yet." + +"Right! He was not to come down till he saw us. Can you see his signal?" + +"Not well from here; but I think I see it.--Now I see him! Pull both. +Easy, Herbert. Oars!" + +We touched the stairs lightly for a single moment, and he was on board, +and we were off again. He had a boat-cloak with him, and a black canvas +bag; and he looked as like a river-pilot as my heart could have wished. + +"Dear boy!" he said, putting his arm on my shoulder, as he took his +seat. "Faithful dear boy, well done. Thankye, thankye!" + +Again among the tiers of shipping, in and out, avoiding rusty +chain-cables frayed hempen hawsers and bobbing buoys, sinking for the +moment floating broken baskets, scattering floating chips of wood +and shaving, cleaving floating scum of coal, in and out, under the +figure-head of the John of Sunderland making a speech to the winds (as +is done by many Johns), and the Betsy of Yarmouth with a firm formality +of bosom and her knobby eyes starting two inches out of her head; in +and out, hammers going in ship-builders' yards, saws going at timber, +clashing engines going at things unknown, pumps going in leaky ships, +capstans going, ships going out to sea, and unintelligible sea-creatures +roaring curses over the bulwarks at respondent lightermen, in and +out,--out at last upon the clearer river, where the ships' boys might +take their fenders in, no longer fishing in troubled waters with them +over the side, and where the festooned sails might fly out to the wind. + +At the stairs where we had taken him abroad, and ever since, I had +looked warily for any token of our being suspected. I had seen none. We +certainly had not been, and at that time as certainly we were not either +attended or followed by any boat. If we had been waited on by any boat, +I should have run in to shore, and have obliged her to go on, or to +make her purpose evident. But we held our own without any appearance of +molestation. + +He had his boat-cloak on him, and looked, as I have said, a natural part +of the scene. It was remarkable (but perhaps the wretched life he had +led accounted for it) that he was the least anxious of any of us. He +was not indifferent, for he told me that he hoped to live to see his +gentleman one of the best of gentlemen in a foreign country; he was not +disposed to be passive or resigned, as I understood it; but he had no +notion of meeting danger half way. When it came upon him, he confronted +it, but it must come before he troubled himself. + +"If you knowed, dear boy," he said to me, "what it is to sit here +alonger my dear boy and have my smoke, arter having been day by day +betwixt four walls, you'd envy me. But you don't know what it is." + +"I think I know the delights of freedom," I answered. + +"Ah," said he, shaking his head gravely. "But you don't know it equal to +me. You must have been under lock and key, dear boy, to know it equal to +me,--but I ain't a going to be low." + +It occurred to me as inconsistent, that, for any mastering idea, he +should have endangered his freedom, and even his life. But I reflected +that perhaps freedom without danger was too much apart from all the +habit of his existence to be to him what it would be to another man. I +was not far out, since he said, after smoking a little:-- + +"You see, dear boy, when I was over yonder, t'other side the world, I +was always a looking to this side; and it come flat to be there, for +all I was a growing rich. Everybody knowed Magwitch, and Magwitch could +come, and Magwitch could go, and nobody's head would be troubled about +him. They ain't so easy concerning me here, dear boy,--wouldn't be, +leastwise, if they knowed where I was." + +"If all goes well," said I, "you will be perfectly free and safe again +within a few hours." + +"Well," he returned, drawing a long breath, "I hope so." + +"And think so?" + +He dipped his hand in the water over the boat's gunwale, and said, +smiling with that softened air upon him which was not new to me:-- + +"Ay, I s'pose I think so, dear boy. We'd be puzzled to be more quiet +and easy-going than we are at present. But--it's a flowing so soft +and pleasant through the water, p'raps, as makes me think it--I was +a thinking through my smoke just then, that we can no more see to the +bottom of the next few hours than we can see to the bottom of this river +what I catches hold of. Nor yet we can't no more hold their tide than +I can hold this. And it's run through my fingers and gone, you see!" +holding up his dripping hand. + +"But for your face I should think you were a little despondent," said I. + +"Not a bit on it, dear boy! It comes of flowing on so quiet, and of that +there rippling at the boat's head making a sort of a Sunday tune. Maybe +I'm a growing a trifle old besides." + +He put his pipe back in his mouth with an undisturbed expression of +face, and sat as composed and contented as if we were already out of +England. Yet he was as submissive to a word of advice as if he had been +in constant terror; for, when we ran ashore to get some bottles of beer +into the boat, and he was stepping out, I hinted that I thought he would +be safest where he was, and he said. "Do you, dear boy?" and quietly sat +down again. + +The air felt cold upon the river, but it was a bright day, and the +sunshine was very cheering. The tide ran strong, I took care to lose +none of it, and our steady stroke carried us on thoroughly well. By +imperceptible degrees, as the tide ran out, we lost more and more of the +nearer woods and hills, and dropped lower and lower between the muddy +banks, but the tide was yet with us when we were off Gravesend. As our +charge was wrapped in his cloak, I purposely passed within a boat or +two's length of the floating Custom House, and so out to catch the +stream, alongside of two emigrant ships, and under the bows of a large +transport with troops on the forecastle looking down at us. And soon +the tide began to slacken, and the craft lying at anchor to swing, +and presently they had all swung round, and the ships that were taking +advantage of the new tide to get up to the Pool began to crowd upon us +in a fleet, and we kept under the shore, as much out of the strength of +the tide now as we could, standing carefully off from low shallows and +mudbanks. + +Our oarsmen were so fresh, by dint of having occasionally let her drive +with the tide for a minute or two, that a quarter of an hour's rest +proved full as much as they wanted. We got ashore among some slippery +stones while we ate and drank what we had with us, and looked about. +It was like my own marsh country, flat and monotonous, and with a +dim horizon; while the winding river turned and turned, and the great +floating buoys upon it turned and turned, and everything else seemed +stranded and still. For now the last of the fleet of ships was round +the last low point we had headed; and the last green barge, straw-laden, +with a brown sail, had followed; and some ballast-lighters, shaped like +a child's first rude imitation of a boat, lay low in the mud; and a +little squat shoal-lighthouse on open piles stood crippled in the mud +on stilts and crutches; and slimy stakes stuck out of the mud, and slimy +stones stuck out of the mud, and red landmarks and tidemarks stuck +out of the mud, and an old landing-stage and an old roofless building +slipped into the mud, and all about us was stagnation and mud. + +We pushed off again, and made what way we could. It was much harder work +now, but Herbert and Startop persevered, and rowed and rowed and rowed +until the sun went down. By that time the river had lifted us a little, +so that we could see above the bank. There was the red sun, on the low +level of the shore, in a purple haze, fast deepening into black; and +there was the solitary flat marsh; and far away there were the rising +grounds, between which and us there seemed to be no life, save here and +there in the foreground a melancholy gull. + +As the night was fast falling, and as the moon, being past the full, +would not rise early, we held a little council; a short one, for clearly +our course was to lie by at the first lonely tavern we could find. So, +they plied their oars once more, and I looked out for anything like a +house. Thus we held on, speaking little, for four or five dull miles. It +was very cold, and, a collier coming by us, with her galley-fire smoking +and flaring, looked like a comfortable home. The night was as dark by +this time as it would be until morning; and what light we had, seemed +to come more from the river than the sky, as the oars in their dipping +struck at a few reflected stars. + +At this dismal time we were evidently all possessed by the idea that +we were followed. As the tide made, it flapped heavily at irregular +intervals against the shore; and whenever such a sound came, one or +other of us was sure to start, and look in that direction. Here and +there, the set of the current had worn down the bank into a little +creek, and we were all suspicious of such places, and eyed them +nervously. Sometimes, "What was that ripple?" one of us would say in a +low voice. Or another, "Is that a boat yonder?" And afterwards we would +fall into a dead silence, and I would sit impatiently thinking with what +an unusual amount of noise the oars worked in the thowels. + +At length we descried a light and a roof, and presently afterwards ran +alongside a little causeway made of stones that had been picked up hard +by. Leaving the rest in the boat, I stepped ashore, and found the light +to be in a window of a public-house. It was a dirty place enough, and I +dare say not unknown to smuggling adventurers; but there was a good +fire in the kitchen, and there were eggs and bacon to eat, and various +liquors to drink. Also, there were two double-bedded rooms,--"such as +they were," the landlord said. No other company was in the house than +the landlord, his wife, and a grizzled male creature, the "Jack" of the +little causeway, who was as slimy and smeary as if he had been low-water +mark too. + +With this assistant, I went down to the boat again, and we all came +ashore, and brought out the oars, and rudder and boat-hook, and all +else, and hauled her up for the night. We made a very good meal by the +kitchen fire, and then apportioned the bedrooms: Herbert and Startop +were to occupy one; I and our charge the other. We found the air as +carefully excluded from both, as if air were fatal to life; and there +were more dirty clothes and bandboxes under the beds than I should have +thought the family possessed. But we considered ourselves well off, +notwithstanding, for a more solitary place we could not have found. + +While we were comforting ourselves by the fire after our meal, the +Jack--who was sitting in a corner, and who had a bloated pair of shoes +on, which he had exhibited while we were eating our eggs and bacon, as +interesting relics that he had taken a few days ago from the feet of +a drowned seaman washed ashore--asked me if we had seen a four-oared +galley going up with the tide? When I told him No, he said she must have +gone down then, and yet she "took up too," when she left there. + +"They must ha' thought better on't for some reason or another," said the +Jack, "and gone down." + +"A four-oared galley, did you say?" said I. + +"A four," said the Jack, "and two sitters." + +"Did they come ashore here?" + +"They put in with a stone two-gallon jar for some beer. I'd ha' been +glad to pison the beer myself," said the Jack, "or put some rattling +physic in it." + +"Why?" + +"I know why," said the Jack. He spoke in a slushy voice, as if much mud +had washed into his throat. + +"He thinks," said the landlord, a weakly meditative man with a pale eye, +who seemed to rely greatly on his Jack,--"he thinks they was, what they +wasn't." + +"I knows what I thinks," observed the Jack. + +"You thinks Custum 'Us, Jack?" said the landlord. + +"I do," said the Jack. + +"Then you're wrong, Jack." + +"AM I!" + +In the infinite meaning of his reply and his boundless confidence in +his views, the Jack took one of his bloated shoes off, looked into +it, knocked a few stones out of it on the kitchen floor, and put it on +again. He did this with the air of a Jack who was so right that he could +afford to do anything. + +"Why, what do you make out that they done with their buttons then, +Jack?" asked the landlord, vacillating weakly. + +"Done with their buttons?" returned the Jack. "Chucked 'em overboard. +Swallered 'em. Sowed 'em, to come up small salad. Done with their +buttons!" + +"Don't be cheeky, Jack," remonstrated the landlord, in a melancholy and +pathetic way. + +"A Custum 'Us officer knows what to do with his Buttons," said the Jack, +repeating the obnoxious word with the greatest contempt, "when they +comes betwixt him and his own light. A four and two sitters don't go +hanging and hovering, up with one tide and down with another, and both +with and against another, without there being Custum 'Us at the bottom +of it." Saying which he went out in disdain; and the landlord, having no +one to reply upon, found it impracticable to pursue the subject. + +This dialogue made us all uneasy, and me very uneasy. The dismal wind +was muttering round the house, the tide was flapping at the shore, and +I had a feeling that we were caged and threatened. A four-oared galley +hovering about in so unusual a way as to attract this notice was an ugly +circumstance that I could not get rid of. When I had induced Provis to +go up to bed, I went outside with my two companions (Startop by this +time knew the state of the case), and held another council. Whether we +should remain at the house until near the steamer's time, which would +be about one in the afternoon, or whether we should put off early in the +morning, was the question we discussed. On the whole we deemed it the +better course to lie where we were, until within an hour or so of the +steamer's time, and then to get out in her track, and drift easily with +the tide. Having settled to do this, we returned into the house and went +to bed. + +I lay down with the greater part of my clothes on, and slept well for a +few hours. When I awoke, the wind had risen, and the sign of the house +(the Ship) was creaking and banging about, with noises that startled +me. Rising softly, for my charge lay fast asleep, I looked out of the +window. It commanded the causeway where we had hauled up our boat, and, +as my eyes adapted themselves to the light of the clouded moon, I saw +two men looking into her. They passed by under the window, looking at +nothing else, and they did not go down to the landing-place which I +could discern to be empty, but struck across the marsh in the direction +of the Nore. + +My first impulse was to call up Herbert, and show him the two men going +away. But reflecting, before I got into his room, which was at the back +of the house and adjoined mine, that he and Startop had had a harder day +than I, and were fatigued, I forbore. Going back to my window, I could +see the two men moving over the marsh. In that light, however, I soon +lost them, and, feeling very cold, lay down to think of the matter, and +fell asleep again. + +We were up early. As we walked to and fro, all four together, before +breakfast, I deemed it right to recount what I had seen. Again our +charge was the least anxious of the party. It was very likely that the +men belonged to the Custom House, he said quietly, and that they had no +thought of us. I tried to persuade myself that it was so,--as, indeed, +it might easily be. However, I proposed that he and I should walk away +together to a distant point we could see, and that the boat should take +us aboard there, or as near there as might prove feasible, at about +noon. This being considered a good precaution, soon after breakfast he +and I set forth, without saying anything at the tavern. + +He smoked his pipe as we went along, and sometimes stopped to clap me on +the shoulder. One would have supposed that it was I who was in danger, +not he, and that he was reassuring me. We spoke very little. As we +approached the point, I begged him to remain in a sheltered place, while +I went on to reconnoitre; for it was towards it that the men had passed +in the night. He complied, and I went on alone. There was no boat off +the point, nor any boat drawn up anywhere near it, nor were there any +signs of the men having embarked there. But, to be sure, the tide was +high, and there might have been some footpints under water. + +When he looked out from his shelter in the distance, and saw that I +waved my hat to him to come up, he rejoined me, and there we waited; +sometimes lying on the bank, wrapped in our coats, and sometimes moving +about to warm ourselves, until we saw our boat coming round. We got +aboard easily, and rowed out into the track of the steamer. By that time +it wanted but ten minutes of one o'clock, and we began to look out for +her smoke. + +But, it was half-past one before we saw her smoke, and soon afterwards +we saw behind it the smoke of another steamer. As they were coming on +at full speed, we got the two bags ready, and took that opportunity +of saying good-bye to Herbert and Startop. We had all shaken hands +cordially, and neither Herbert's eyes nor mine were quite dry, when I +saw a four-oared galley shoot out from under the bank but a little way +ahead of us, and row out into the same track. + +A stretch of shore had been as yet between us and the steamer's smoke, +by reason of the bend and wind of the river; but now she was visible, +coming head on. I called to Herbert and Startop to keep before the tide, +that she might see us lying by for her, and I adjured Provis to sit +quite still, wrapped in his cloak. He answered cheerily, "Trust to me, +dear boy," and sat like a statue. Meantime the galley, which was very +skilfully handled, had crossed us, let us come up with her, and fallen +alongside. Leaving just room enough for the play of the oars, she kept +alongside, drifting when we drifted, and pulling a stroke or two when we +pulled. Of the two sitters one held the rudder-lines, and looked at us +attentively,--as did all the rowers; the other sitter was wrapped up, +much as Provis was, and seemed to shrink, and whisper some instruction +to the steerer as he looked at us. Not a word was spoken in either boat. + +Startop could make out, after a few minutes, which steamer was first, +and gave me the word "Hamburg," in a low voice, as we sat face to face. +She was nearing us very fast, and the beating of her peddles grew louder +and louder. I felt as if her shadow were absolutely upon us, when the +galley hailed us. I answered. + +"You have a returned Transport there," said the man who held the lines. +"That's the man, wrapped in the cloak. His name is Abel Magwitch, +otherwise Provis. I apprehend that man, and call upon him to surrender, +and you to assist." + +At the same moment, without giving any audible direction to his crew, +he ran the galley abroad of us. They had pulled one sudden stroke ahead, +had got their oars in, had run athwart us, and were holding on to +our gunwale, before we knew what they were doing. This caused great +confusion on board the steamer, and I heard them calling to us, and +heard the order given to stop the paddles, and heard them stop, but felt +her driving down upon us irresistibly. In the same moment, I saw the +steersman of the galley lay his hand on his prisoner's shoulder, and saw +that both boats were swinging round with the force of the tide, and +saw that all hands on board the steamer were running forward quite +frantically. Still, in the same moment, I saw the prisoner start +up, lean across his captor, and pull the cloak from the neck of the +shrinking sitter in the galley. Still in the same moment, I saw that the +face disclosed, was the face of the other convict of long ago. Still, in +the same moment, I saw the face tilt backward with a white terror on it +that I shall never forget, and heard a great cry on board the steamer, +and a loud splash in the water, and felt the boat sink from under me. + +It was but for an instant that I seemed to struggle with a thousand +mill-weirs and a thousand flashes of light; that instant past, I was +taken on board the galley. Herbert was there, and Startop was there; but +our boat was gone, and the two convicts were gone. + +What with the cries aboard the steamer, and the furious blowing off of +her steam, and her driving on, and our driving on, I could not at first +distinguish sky from water or shore from shore; but the crew of the +galley righted her with great speed, and, pulling certain swift strong +strokes ahead, lay upon their oars, every man looking silently and +eagerly at the water astern. Presently a dark object was seen in it, +bearing towards us on the tide. No man spoke, but the steersman held up +his hand, and all softly backed water, and kept the boat straight and +true before it. As it came nearer, I saw it to be Magwitch, swimming, +but not swimming freely. He was taken on board, and instantly manacled +at the wrists and ankles. + +The galley was kept steady, and the silent, eager look-out at the water +was resumed. But, the Rotterdam steamer now came up, and apparently not +understanding what had happened, came on at speed. By the time she had +been hailed and stopped, both steamers were drifting away from us, and +we were rising and falling in a troubled wake of water. The look-out was +kept, long after all was still again and the two steamers were gone; but +everybody knew that it was hopeless now. + +At length we gave it up, and pulled under the shore towards the tavern +we had lately left, where we were received with no little surprise. Here +I was able to get some comforts for Magwitch,--Provis no longer,--who +had received some very severe injury in the Chest, and a deep cut in the +head. + +He told me that he believed himself to have gone under the keel of the +steamer, and to have been struck on the head in rising. The injury to +his chest (which rendered his breathing extremely painful) he thought +he had received against the side of the galley. He added that he did not +pretend to say what he might or might not have done to Compeyson, but +that, in the moment of his laying his hand on his cloak to identify him, +that villain had staggered up and staggered back, and they had both gone +overboard together, when the sudden wrenching of him (Magwitch) out of +our boat, and the endeavor of his captor to keep him in it, had capsized +us. He told me in a whisper that they had gone down fiercely locked in +each other's arms, and that there had been a struggle under water, and +that he had disengaged himself, struck out, and swum away. + +I never had any reason to doubt the exact truth of what he thus told me. +The officer who steered the galley gave the same account of their going +overboard. + +When I asked this officer's permission to change the prisoner's +wet clothes by purchasing any spare garments I could get at the +public-house, he gave it readily: merely observing that he must take +charge of everything his prisoner had about him. So the pocket-book +which had once been in my hands passed into the officer's. He further +gave me leave to accompany the prisoner to London; but declined to +accord that grace to my two friends. + +The Jack at the Ship was instructed where the drowned man had gone +down, and undertook to search for the body in the places where it was +likeliest to come ashore. His interest in its recovery seemed to me to +be much heightened when he heard that it had stockings on. Probably, it +took about a dozen drowned men to fit him out completely; and that may +have been the reason why the different articles of his dress were in +various stages of decay. + +We remained at the public-house until the tide turned, and then Magwitch +was carried down to the galley and put on board. Herbert and Startop +were to get to London by land, as soon as they could. We had a doleful +parting, and when I took my place by Magwitch's side, I felt that that +was my place henceforth while he lived. + +For now, my repugnance to him had all melted away; and in the hunted, +wounded, shackled creature who held my hand in his, I only saw a man +who had meant to be my benefactor, and who had felt affectionately, +gratefully, and generously, towards me with great constancy through a +series of years. I only saw in him a much better man than I had been to +Joe. + +His breathing became more difficult and painful as the night drew on, +and often he could not repress a groan. I tried to rest him on the arm +I could use, in any easy position; but it was dreadful to think that +I could not be sorry at heart for his being badly hurt, since it was +unquestionably best that he should die. That there were, still living, +people enough who were able and willing to identify him, I could not +doubt. That he would be leniently treated, I could not hope. He who had +been presented in the worst light at his trial, who had since broken +prison and had been tried again, who had returned from transportation +under a life sentence, and who had occasioned the death of the man who +was the cause of his arrest. + +As we returned towards the setting sun we had yesterday left behind us, +and as the stream of our hopes seemed all running back, I told him how +grieved I was to think that he had come home for my sake. + +"Dear boy," he answered, "I'm quite content to take my chance. I've seen +my boy, and he can be a gentleman without me." + +No. I had thought about that, while we had been there side by side. No. +Apart from any inclinations of my own, I understood Wemmick's hint now. +I foresaw that, being convicted, his possessions would be forfeited to +the Crown. + +"Lookee here, dear boy," said he "It's best as a gentleman should not be +knowed to belong to me now. Only come to see me as if you come by chance +alonger Wemmick. Sit where I can see you when I am swore to, for the +last o' many times, and I don't ask no more." + +"I will never stir from your side," said I, "when I am suffered to be +near you. Please God, I will be as true to you as you have been to me!" + +I felt his hand tremble as it held mine, and he turned his face away +as he lay in the bottom of the boat, and I heard that old sound in his +throat,--softened now, like all the rest of him. It was a good thing +that he had touched this point, for it put into my mind what I might not +otherwise have thought of until too late,--that he need never know how +his hopes of enriching me had perished. + + + + +Chapter LV + +He was taken to the Police Court next day, and would have been +immediately committed for trial, but that it was necessary to send down +for an old officer of the prison-ship from which he had once escaped, to +speak to his identity. Nobody doubted it; but Compeyson, who had meant +to depose to it, was tumbling on the tides, dead, and it happened that +there was not at that time any prison officer in London who could give +the required evidence. I had gone direct to Mr. Jaggers at his private +house, on my arrival over night, to retain his assistance, and Mr. +Jaggers on the prisoner's behalf would admit nothing. It was the sole +resource; for he told me that the case must be over in five minutes +when the witness was there, and that no power on earth could prevent its +going against us. + +I imparted to Mr. Jaggers my design of keeping him in ignorance of the +fate of his wealth. Mr. Jaggers was querulous and angry with me for +having "let it slip through my fingers," and said we must memorialize +by and by, and try at all events for some of it. But he did not conceal +from me that, although there might be many cases in which the forfeiture +would not be exacted, there were no circumstances in this case to make +it one of them. I understood that very well. I was not related to the +outlaw, or connected with him by any recognizable tie; he had put his +hand to no writing or settlement in my favor before his apprehension, +and to do so now would be idle. I had no claim, and I finally resolved, +and ever afterwards abided by the resolution, that my heart should never +be sickened with the hopeless task of attempting to establish one. + +There appeared to be reason for supposing that the drowned informer +had hoped for a reward out of this forfeiture, and had obtained some +accurate knowledge of Magwitch's affairs. When his body was found, many +miles from the scene of his death, and so horribly disfigured that he +was only recognizable by the contents of his pockets, notes were still +legible, folded in a case he carried. Among these were the name of a +banking-house in New South Wales, where a sum of money was, and the +designation of certain lands of considerable value. Both these heads of +information were in a list that Magwitch, while in prison, gave to Mr. +Jaggers, of the possessions he supposed I should inherit. His ignorance, +poor fellow, at last served him; he never mistrusted but that my +inheritance was quite safe, with Mr. Jaggers's aid. + +After three days' delay, during which the crown prosecution stood over +for the production of the witness from the prison-ship, the witness +came, and completed the easy case. He was committed to take his trial at +the next Sessions, which would come on in a month. + +It was at this dark time of my life that Herbert returned home one +evening, a good deal cast down, and said,-- + +"My dear Handel, I fear I shall soon have to leave you." + +His partner having prepared me for that, I was less surprised than he +thought. + +"We shall lose a fine opportunity if I put off going to Cairo, and I am +very much afraid I must go, Handel, when you most need me." + +"Herbert, I shall always need you, because I shall always love you; but +my need is no greater now than at another time." + +"You will be so lonely." + +"I have not leisure to think of that," said I. "You know that I am +always with him to the full extent of the time allowed, and that I +should be with him all day long, if I could. And when I come away from +him, you know that my thoughts are with him." + +The dreadful condition to which he was brought, was so appalling to both +of us, that we could not refer to it in plainer words. + +"My dear fellow," said Herbert, "let the near prospect of our +separation--for, it is very near--be my justification for troubling you +about yourself. Have you thought of your future?" + +"No, for I have been afraid to think of any future." + +"But yours cannot be dismissed; indeed, my dear dear Handel, it must not +be dismissed. I wish you would enter on it now, as far as a few friendly +words go, with me." + +"I will," said I. + +"In this branch house of ours, Handel, we must have a--" + +I saw that his delicacy was avoiding the right word, so I said, "A +clerk." + +"A clerk. And I hope it is not at all unlikely that he may expand (as +a clerk of your acquaintance has expanded) into a partner. Now, +Handel,--in short, my dear boy, will you come to me?" + +There was something charmingly cordial and engaging in the manner in +which after saying "Now, Handel," as if it were the grave beginning of +a portentous business exordium, he had suddenly given up that tone, +stretched out his honest hand, and spoken like a schoolboy. + +"Clara and I have talked about it again and again," Herbert pursued, +"and the dear little thing begged me only this evening, with tears in +her eyes, to say to you that, if you will live with us when we come +together, she will do her best to make you happy, and to convince her +husband's friend that he is her friend too. We should get on so well, +Handel!" + +I thanked her heartily, and I thanked him heartily, but said I could not +yet make sure of joining him as he so kindly offered. Firstly, my +mind was too preoccupied to be able to take in the subject clearly. +Secondly,--Yes! Secondly, there was a vague something lingering in my +thoughts that will come out very near the end of this slight narrative. + +"But if you thought, Herbert, that you could, without doing any injury +to your business, leave the question open for a little while--" + +"For any while," cried Herbert. "Six months, a year!" + +"Not so long as that," said I. "Two or three months at most." + +Herbert was highly delighted when we shook hands on this arrangement, +and said he could now take courage to tell me that he believed he must +go away at the end of the week. + +"And Clara?" said I. + +"The dear little thing," returned Herbert, "holds dutifully to her +father as long as he lasts; but he won't last long. Mrs. Whimple +confides to me that he is certainly going." + +"Not to say an unfeeling thing," said I, "he cannot do better than go." + +"I am afraid that must be admitted," said Herbert; "and then I shall +come back for the dear little thing, and the dear little thing and I +will walk quietly into the nearest church. Remember! The blessed darling +comes of no family, my dear Handel, and never looked into the red book, +and hasn't a notion about her grandpapa. What a fortune for the son of +my mother!" + +On the Saturday in that same week, I took my leave of Herbert,--full +of bright hope, but sad and sorry to leave me,--as he sat on one of the +seaport mail coaches. I went into a coffee-house to write a little note +to Clara, telling her he had gone off, sending his love to her over and +over again, and then went to my lonely home,--if it deserved the name; +for it was now no home to me, and I had no home anywhere. + +On the stairs I encountered Wemmick, who was coming down, after an +unsuccessful application of his knuckles to my door. I had not seen him +alone since the disastrous issue of the attempted flight; and he had +come, in his private and personal capacity, to say a few words of +explanation in reference to that failure. + +"The late Compeyson," said Wemmick, "had by little and little got at the +bottom of half of the regular business now transacted; and it was from +the talk of some of his people in trouble (some of his people being +always in trouble) that I heard what I did. I kept my ears open, seeming +to have them shut, until I heard that he was absent, and I thought that +would be the best time for making the attempt. I can only suppose now, +that it was a part of his policy, as a very clever man, habitually to +deceive his own instruments. You don't blame me, I hope, Mr. Pip? I am +sure I tried to serve you, with all my heart." + +"I am as sure of that, Wemmick, as you can be, and I thank you most +earnestly for all your interest and friendship." + +"Thank you, thank you very much. It's a bad job," said Wemmick, +scratching his head, "and I assure you I haven't been so cut up for a +long time. What I look at is the sacrifice of so much portable property. +Dear me!" + +"What I think of, Wemmick, is the poor owner of the property." + +"Yes, to be sure," said Wemmick. "Of course, there can be no objection +to your being sorry for him, and I'd put down a five-pound note myself +to get him out of it. But what I look at is this. The late Compeyson +having been beforehand with him in intelligence of his return, and being +so determined to bring him to book, I do not think he could have been +saved. Whereas, the portable property certainly could have been saved. +That's the difference between the property and the owner, don't you +see?" + +I invited Wemmick to come upstairs, and refresh himself with a glass +of grog before walking to Walworth. He accepted the invitation. While he +was drinking his moderate allowance, he said, with nothing to lead up to +it, and after having appeared rather fidgety,-- + +"What do you think of my meaning to take a holiday on Monday, Mr. Pip?" + +"Why, I suppose you have not done such a thing these twelve months." + +"These twelve years, more likely," said Wemmick. "Yes. I'm going to take +a holiday. More than that; I'm going to take a walk. More than that; I'm +going to ask you to take a walk with me." + +I was about to excuse myself, as being but a bad companion just then, +when Wemmick anticipated me. + +"I know your engagements," said he, "and I know you are out of sorts, +Mr. Pip. But if you could oblige me, I should take it as a kindness. +It ain't a long walk, and it's an early one. Say it might occupy you +(including breakfast on the walk) from eight to twelve. Couldn't you +stretch a point and manage it?" + +He had done so much for me at various times, that this was very little +to do for him. I said I could manage it,--would manage it,--and he was +so very much pleased by my acquiescence, that I was pleased too. At his +particular request, I appointed to call for him at the Castle at half +past eight on Monday morning, and so we parted for the time. + +Punctual to my appointment, I rang at the Castle gate on the Monday +morning, and was received by Wemmick himself, who struck me as looking +tighter than usual, and having a sleeker hat on. Within, there were two +glasses of rum and milk prepared, and two biscuits. The Aged must have +been stirring with the lark, for, glancing into the perspective of his +bedroom, I observed that his bed was empty. + +When we had fortified ourselves with the rum and milk and biscuits, and +were going out for the walk with that training preparation on us, I was +considerably surprised to see Wemmick take up a fishing-rod, and put +it over his shoulder. "Why, we are not going fishing!" said I. "No," +returned Wemmick, "but I like to walk with one." + +I thought this odd; however, I said nothing, and we set off. We went +towards Camberwell Green, and when we were thereabouts, Wemmick said +suddenly,-- + +"Halloa! Here's a church!" + +There was nothing very surprising in that; but again, I was rather +surprised, when he said, as if he were animated by a brilliant idea,-- + +"Let's go in!" + +We went in, Wemmick leaving his fishing-rod in the porch, and looked all +round. In the mean time, Wemmick was diving into his coat-pockets, and +getting something out of paper there. + +"Halloa!" said he. "Here's a couple of pair of gloves! Let's put 'em +on!" + +As the gloves were white kid gloves, and as the post-office was widened +to its utmost extent, I now began to have my strong suspicions. They +were strengthened into certainty when I beheld the Aged enter at a side +door, escorting a lady. + +"Halloa!" said Wemmick. "Here's Miss Skiffins! Let's have a wedding." + +That discreet damsel was attired as usual, except that she was now +engaged in substituting for her green kid gloves a pair of white. The +Aged was likewise occupied in preparing a similar sacrifice for +the altar of Hymen. The old gentleman, however, experienced so much +difficulty in getting his gloves on, that Wemmick found it necessary +to put him with his back against a pillar, and then to get behind the +pillar himself and pull away at them, while I for my part held the old +gentleman round the waist, that he might present an equal and safe +resistance. By dint of this ingenious scheme, his gloves were got on to +perfection. + +The clerk and clergyman then appearing, we were ranged in order at +those fatal rails. True to his notion of seeming to do it all without +preparation, I heard Wemmick say to himself, as he took something out of +his waistcoat-pocket before the service began, "Halloa! Here's a ring!" + +I acted in the capacity of backer, or best-man, to the bridegroom; while +a little limp pew-opener in a soft bonnet like a baby's, made a feint +of being the bosom friend of Miss Skiffins. The responsibility of giving +the lady away devolved upon the Aged, which led to the clergyman's being +unintentionally scandalized, and it happened thus. When he said, "Who +giveth this woman to be married to this man?" the old gentleman, not in +the least knowing what point of the ceremony we had arrived at, stood +most amiably beaming at the ten commandments. Upon which, the clergyman +said again, "WHO giveth this woman to be married to this man?" The old +gentleman being still in a state of most estimable unconsciousness, the +bridegroom cried out in his accustomed voice, "Now Aged P. you know; who +giveth?" To which the Aged replied with great briskness, before saying +that he gave, "All right, John, all right, my boy!" And the clergyman +came to so gloomy a pause upon it, that I had doubts for the moment +whether we should get completely married that day. + +It was completely done, however, and when we were going out of church +Wemmick took the cover off the font, and put his white gloves in it, and +put the cover on again. Mrs. Wemmick, more heedful of the future, put +her white gloves in her pocket and assumed her green. "Now, Mr. Pip," +said Wemmick, triumphantly shouldering the fishing-rod as we came +out, "let me ask you whether anybody would suppose this to be a +wedding-party!" + +Breakfast had been ordered at a pleasant little tavern, a mile or so +away upon the rising ground beyond the green; and there was a bagatelle +board in the room, in case we should desire to unbend our minds after +the solemnity. It was pleasant to observe that Mrs. Wemmick no longer +unwound Wemmick's arm when it adapted itself to her figure, but sat in a +high-backed chair against the wall, like a violoncello in its case, and +submitted to be embraced as that melodious instrument might have done. + +We had an excellent breakfast, and when any one declined anything on +table, Wemmick said, "Provided by contract, you know; don't be afraid of +it!" I drank to the new couple, drank to the Aged, drank to the Castle, +saluted the bride at parting, and made myself as agreeable as I could. + +Wemmick came down to the door with me, and I again shook hands with him, +and wished him joy. + +"Thankee!" said Wemmick, rubbing his hands. "She's such a manager +of fowls, you have no idea. You shall have some eggs, and judge for +yourself. I say, Mr. Pip!" calling me back, and speaking low. "This is +altogether a Walworth sentiment, please." + +"I understand. Not to be mentioned in Little Britain," said I. + +Wemmick nodded. "After what you let out the other day, Mr. Jaggers +may as well not know of it. He might think my brain was softening, or +something of the kind." + + + + +Chapter LVI + +He lay in prison very ill, during the whole interval between his +committal for trial and the coming round of the Sessions. He had broken +two ribs, they had wounded one of his lungs, and he breathed with great +pain and difficulty, which increased daily. It was a consequence of his +hurt that he spoke so low as to be scarcely audible; therefore he spoke +very little. But he was ever ready to listen to me; and it became the +first duty of my life to say to him, and read to him, what I knew he +ought to hear. + +Being far too ill to remain in the common prison, he was removed, after +the first day or so, into the infirmary. This gave me opportunities +of being with him that I could not otherwise have had. And but for +his illness he would have been put in irons, for he was regarded as a +determined prison-breaker, and I know not what else. + +Although I saw him every day, it was for only a short time; hence, the +regularly recurring spaces of our separation were long enough to record +on his face any slight changes that occurred in his physical state. I +do not recollect that I once saw any change in it for the better; he +wasted, and became slowly weaker and worse, day by day, from the day +when the prison door closed upon him. + +The kind of submission or resignation that he showed was that of a man +who was tired out. I sometimes derived an impression, from his manner +or from a whispered word or two which escaped him, that he pondered +over the question whether he might have been a better man under better +circumstances. But he never justified himself by a hint tending that +way, or tried to bend the past out of its eternal shape. + +It happened on two or three occasions in my presence, that his desperate +reputation was alluded to by one or other of the people in attendance on +him. A smile crossed his face then, and he turned his eyes on me with +a trustful look, as if he were confident that I had seen some small +redeeming touch in him, even so long ago as when I was a little child. +As to all the rest, he was humble and contrite, and I never knew him +complain. + +When the Sessions came round, Mr. Jaggers caused an application to be +made for the postponement of his trial until the following Sessions. It +was obviously made with the assurance that he could not live so long, +and was refused. The trial came on at once, and, when he was put to the +bar, he was seated in a chair. No objection was made to my getting +close to the dock, on the outside of it, and holding the hand that he +stretched forth to me. + +The trial was very short and very clear. Such things as could be said +for him were said,--how he had taken to industrious habits, and had +thriven lawfully and reputably. But nothing could unsay the fact that +he had returned, and was there in presence of the Judge and Jury. It was +impossible to try him for that, and do otherwise than find him guilty. + +At that time, it was the custom (as I learnt from my terrible experience +of that Sessions) to devote a concluding day to the passing of +Sentences, and to make a finishing effect with the Sentence of Death. +But for the indelible picture that my remembrance now holds before me, +I could scarcely believe, even as I write these words, that I saw +two-and-thirty men and women put before the Judge to receive that +sentence together. Foremost among the two-and-thirty was he; seated, +that he might get breath enough to keep life in him. + +The whole scene starts out again in the vivid colors of the moment, down +to the drops of April rain on the windows of the court, glittering in +the rays of April sun. Penned in the dock, as I again stood outside it +at the corner with his hand in mine, were the two-and-thirty men +and women; some defiant, some stricken with terror, some sobbing and +weeping, some covering their faces, some staring gloomily about. There +had been shrieks from among the women convicts; but they had been +stilled, and a hush had succeeded. The sheriffs with their great chains +and nosegays, other civic gewgaws and monsters, criers, ushers, a great +gallery full of people,--a large theatrical audience,--looked on, as the +two-and-thirty and the Judge were solemnly confronted. Then the Judge +addressed them. Among the wretched creatures before him whom he must +single out for special address was one who almost from his infancy had +been an offender against the laws; who, after repeated imprisonments and +punishments, had been at length sentenced to exile for a term of years; +and who, under circumstances of great violence and daring, had made his +escape and been re-sentenced to exile for life. That miserable man would +seem for a time to have become convinced of his errors, when far removed +from the scenes of his old offences, and to have lived a peaceable and +honest life. But in a fatal moment, yielding to those propensities and +passions, the indulgence of which had so long rendered him a scourge to +society, he had quitted his haven of rest and repentance, and had +come back to the country where he was proscribed. Being here presently +denounced, he had for a time succeeded in evading the officers of +Justice, but being at length seized while in the act of flight, he had +resisted them, and had--he best knew whether by express design, or in +the blindness of his hardihood--caused the death of his denouncer, to +whom his whole career was known. The appointed punishment for his return +to the land that had cast him out, being Death, and his case being this +aggravated case, he must prepare himself to Die. + +The sun was striking in at the great windows of the court, through the +glittering drops of rain upon the glass, and it made a broad shaft of +light between the two-and-thirty and the Judge, linking both together, +and perhaps reminding some among the audience how both were passing on, +with absolute equality, to the greater Judgment that knoweth all things, +and cannot err. Rising for a moment, a distinct speck of face in this +way of light, the prisoner said, "My Lord, I have received my sentence +of Death from the Almighty, but I bow to yours," and sat down again. +There was some hushing, and the Judge went on with what he had to say +to the rest. Then they were all formally doomed, and some of them were +supported out, and some of them sauntered out with a haggard look of +bravery, and a few nodded to the gallery, and two or three shook hands, +and others went out chewing the fragments of herb they had taken from +the sweet herbs lying about. He went last of all, because of having to +be helped from his chair, and to go very slowly; and he held my hand +while all the others were removed, and while the audience got up +(putting their dresses right, as they might at church or elsewhere), and +pointed down at this criminal or at that, and most of all at him and me. + +I earnestly hoped and prayed that he might die before the Recorder's +Report was made; but, in the dread of his lingering on, I began that +night to write out a petition to the Home Secretary of State, setting +forth my knowledge of him, and how it was that he had come back for my +sake. I wrote it as fervently and pathetically as I could; and when I +had finished it and sent it in, I wrote out other petitions to such men +in authority as I hoped were the most merciful, and drew up one to the +Crown itself. For several days and nights after he was sentenced I took +no rest except when I fell asleep in my chair, but was wholly absorbed +in these appeals. And after I had sent them in, I could not keep away +from the places where they were, but felt as if they were more +hopeful and less desperate when I was near them. In this unreasonable +restlessness and pain of mind I would roam the streets of an evening, +wandering by those offices and houses where I had left the petitions. To +the present hour, the weary western streets of London on a cold, dusty +spring night, with their ranges of stern, shut-up mansions, and their +long rows of lamps, are melancholy to me from this association. + +The daily visits I could make him were shortened now, and he was more +strictly kept. Seeing, or fancying, that I was suspected of an intention +of carrying poison to him, I asked to be searched before I sat down +at his bedside, and told the officer who was always there, that I was +willing to do anything that would assure him of the singleness of my +designs. Nobody was hard with him or with me. There was duty to be +done, and it was done, but not harshly. The officer always gave me the +assurance that he was worse, and some other sick prisoners in the +room, and some other prisoners who attended on them as sick nurses, +(malefactors, but not incapable of kindness, God be thanked!) always +joined in the same report. + +As the days went on, I noticed more and more that he would lie placidly +looking at the white ceiling, with an absence of light in his face +until some word of mine brightened it for an instant, and then it would +subside again. Sometimes he was almost or quite unable to speak, then +he would answer me with slight pressures on my hand, and I grew to +understand his meaning very well. + +The number of the days had risen to ten, when I saw a greater change +in him than I had seen yet. His eyes were turned towards the door, and +lighted up as I entered. + +"Dear boy," he said, as I sat down by his bed: "I thought you was late. +But I knowed you couldn't be that." + +"It is just the time," said I. "I waited for it at the gate." + +"You always waits at the gate; don't you, dear boy?" + +"Yes. Not to lose a moment of the time." + +"Thank'ee dear boy, thank'ee. God bless you! You've never deserted me, +dear boy." + +I pressed his hand in silence, for I could not forget that I had once +meant to desert him. + +"And what's the best of all," he said, "you've been more comfortable +alonger me, since I was under a dark cloud, than when the sun shone. +That's best of all." + +He lay on his back, breathing with great difficulty. Do what he would, +and love me though he did, the light left his face ever and again, and a +film came over the placid look at the white ceiling. + +"Are you in much pain to-day?" + +"I don't complain of none, dear boy." + +"You never do complain." + +He had spoken his last words. He smiled, and I understood his touch to +mean that he wished to lift my hand, and lay it on his breast. I laid it +there, and he smiled again, and put both his hands upon it. + +The allotted time ran out, while we were thus; but, looking round, I +found the governor of the prison standing near me, and he whispered, +"You needn't go yet." I thanked him gratefully, and asked, "Might I +speak to him, if he can hear me?" + +The governor stepped aside, and beckoned the officer away. The change, +though it was made without noise, drew back the film from the placid +look at the white ceiling, and he looked most affectionately at me. + +"Dear Magwitch, I must tell you now, at last. You understand what I +say?" + +A gentle pressure on my hand. + +"You had a child once, whom you loved and lost." + +A stronger pressure on my hand. + +"She lived, and found powerful friends. She is living now. She is a lady +and very beautiful. And I love her!" + +With a last faint effort, which would have been powerless but for my +yielding to it and assisting it, he raised my hand to his lips. Then, +he gently let it sink upon his breast again, with his own hands lying on +it. The placid look at the white ceiling came back, and passed away, and +his head dropped quietly on his breast. + +Mindful, then, of what we had read together, I thought of the two men +who went up into the Temple to pray, and I knew there were no better +words that I could say beside his bed, than "O Lord, be merciful to him +a sinner!" + + + + +Chapter LVII + +Now that I was left wholly to myself, I gave notice of my intention +to quit the chambers in the Temple as soon as my tenancy could legally +determine, and in the meanwhile to underlet them. At once I put bills +up in the windows; for, I was in debt, and had scarcely any money, and +began to be seriously alarmed by the state of my affairs. I ought +rather to write that I should have been alarmed if I had had energy and +concentration enough to help me to the clear perception of any truth +beyond the fact that I was falling very ill. The late stress upon me had +enabled me to put off illness, but not to put it away; I knew that it +was coming on me now, and I knew very little else, and was even careless +as to that. + +For a day or two, I lay on the sofa, or on the floor,--anywhere, +according as I happened to sink down,--with a heavy head and aching +limbs, and no purpose, and no power. Then there came, one night which +appeared of great duration, and which teemed with anxiety and horror; +and when in the morning I tried to sit up in my bed and think of it, I +found I could not do so. + +Whether I really had been down in Garden Court in the dead of the night, +groping about for the boat that I supposed to be there; whether I had +two or three times come to myself on the staircase with great terror, +not knowing how I had got out of bed; whether I had found myself +lighting the lamp, possessed by the idea that he was coming up +the stairs, and that the lights were blown out; whether I had been +inexpressibly harassed by the distracted talking, laughing, and groaning +of some one, and had half suspected those sounds to be of my own making; +whether there had been a closed iron furnace in a dark corner of +the room, and a voice had called out, over and over again, that Miss +Havisham was consuming within it,--these were things that I tried to +settle with myself and get into some order, as I lay that morning on +my bed. But the vapor of a limekiln would come between me and them, +disordering them all, and it was through the vapor at last that I saw +two men looking at me. + +"What do you want?" I asked, starting; "I don't know you." + +"Well, sir," returned one of them, bending down and touching me on the +shoulder, "this is a matter that you'll soon arrange, I dare say, but +you're arrested." + +"What is the debt?" + +"Hundred and twenty-three pound, fifteen, six. Jeweller's account, I +think." + +"What is to be done?" + +"You had better come to my house," said the man. "I keep a very nice +house." + +I made some attempt to get up and dress myself. When I next attended +to them, they were standing a little off from the bed, looking at me. I +still lay there. + +"You see my state," said I. "I would come with you if I could; but +indeed I am quite unable. If you take me from here, I think I shall die +by the way." + +Perhaps they replied, or argued the point, or tried to encourage me to +believe that I was better than I thought. Forasmuch as they hang in +my memory by only this one slender thread, I don't know what they did, +except that they forbore to remove me. + +That I had a fever and was avoided, that I suffered greatly, that +I often lost my reason, that the time seemed interminable, that I +confounded impossible existences with my own identity; that I was a +brick in the house-wall, and yet entreating to be released from the +giddy place where the builders had set me; that I was a steel beam of a +vast engine, clashing and whirling over a gulf, and yet that I implored +in my own person to have the engine stopped, and my part in it hammered +off; that I passed through these phases of disease, I know of my own +remembrance, and did in some sort know at the time. That I sometimes +struggled with real people, in the belief that they were murderers, and +that I would all at once comprehend that they meant to do me good, and +would then sink exhausted in their arms, and suffer them to lay me +down, I also knew at the time. But, above all, I knew that there was a +constant tendency in all these people,--who, when I was very ill, would +present all kinds of extraordinary transformations of the human face, +and would be much dilated in size,--above all, I say, I knew that there +was an extraordinary tendency in all these people, sooner or later, to +settle down into the likeness of Joe. + +After I had turned the worst point of my illness, I began to notice that +while all its other features changed, this one consistent feature did +not change. Whoever came about me, still settled down into Joe. I opened +my eyes in the night, and I saw, in the great chair at the bedside, Joe. +I opened my eyes in the day, and, sitting on the window-seat, smoking +his pipe in the shaded open window, still I saw Joe. I asked for cooling +drink, and the dear hand that gave it me was Joe's. I sank back on +my pillow after drinking, and the face that looked so hopefully and +tenderly upon me was the face of Joe. + +At last, one day, I took courage, and said, "Is it Joe?" + +And the dear old home-voice answered, "Which it air, old chap." + +"O Joe, you break my heart! Look angry at me, Joe. Strike me, Joe. Tell +me of my ingratitude. Don't be so good to me!" + +For Joe had actually laid his head down on the pillow at my side, and +put his arm round my neck, in his joy that I knew him. + +"Which dear old Pip, old chap," said Joe, "you and me was ever friends. +And when you're well enough to go out for a ride--what larks!" + +After which, Joe withdrew to the window, and stood with his back towards +me, wiping his eyes. And as my extreme weakness prevented me from +getting up and going to him, I lay there, penitently whispering, "O God +bless him! O God bless this gentle Christian man!" + +Joe's eyes were red when I next found him beside me; but I was holding +his hand, and we both felt happy. + +"How long, dear Joe?" + +"Which you meantersay, Pip, how long have your illness lasted, dear old +chap?" + +"Yes, Joe." + +"It's the end of May, Pip. To-morrow is the first of June." + +"And have you been here all that time, dear Joe?" + +"Pretty nigh, old chap. For, as I says to Biddy when the news of your +being ill were brought by letter, which it were brought by the post, and +being formerly single he is now married though underpaid for a deal of +walking and shoe-leather, but wealth were not a object on his part, and +marriage were the great wish of his hart--" + +"It is so delightful to hear you, Joe! But I interrupt you in what you +said to Biddy." + +"Which it were," said Joe, "that how you might be amongst strangers, and +that how you and me having been ever friends, a wisit at such a moment +might not prove unacceptabobble. And Biddy, her word were, 'Go to him, +without loss of time.' That," said Joe, summing up with his judicial +air, "were the word of Biddy. 'Go to him,' Biddy say, 'without loss of +time.' In short, I shouldn't greatly deceive you," Joe added, after a +little grave reflection, "if I represented to you that the word of that +young woman were, 'without a minute's loss of time.'" + +There Joe cut himself short, and informed me that I was to be talked +to in great moderation, and that I was to take a little nourishment at +stated frequent times, whether I felt inclined for it or not, and that +I was to submit myself to all his orders. So I kissed his hand, and lay +quiet, while he proceeded to indite a note to Biddy, with my love in it. + +Evidently Biddy had taught Joe to write. As I lay in bed looking at him, +it made me, in my weak state, cry again with pleasure to see the +pride with which he set about his letter. My bedstead, divested of its +curtains, had been removed, with me upon it, into the sitting-room, as +the airiest and largest, and the carpet had been taken away, and +the room kept always fresh and wholesome night and day. At my own +writing-table, pushed into a corner and cumbered with little bottles, +Joe now sat down to his great work, first choosing a pen from the +pen-tray as if it were a chest of large tools, and tucking up his +sleeves as if he were going to wield a crow-bar or sledgehammer. It was +necessary for Joe to hold on heavily to the table with his left elbow, +and to get his right leg well out behind him, before he could begin; and +when he did begin he made every downstroke so slowly that it might +have been six feet long, while at every upstroke I could hear his pen +spluttering extensively. He had a curious idea that the inkstand was +on the side of him where it was not, and constantly dipped his pen into +space, and seemed quite satisfied with the result. Occasionally, he was +tripped up by some orthographical stumbling-block; but on the whole +he got on very well indeed; and when he had signed his name, and had +removed a finishing blot from the paper to the crown of his head with +his two forefingers, he got up and hovered about the table, trying the +effect of his performance from various points of view, as it lay there, +with unbounded satisfaction. + +Not to make Joe uneasy by talking too much, even if I had been able to +talk much, I deferred asking him about Miss Havisham until next day. He +shook his head when I then asked him if she had recovered. + +"Is she dead, Joe?" + +"Why you see, old chap," said Joe, in a tone of remonstrance, and by way +of getting at it by degrees, "I wouldn't go so far as to say that, for +that's a deal to say; but she ain't--" + +"Living, Joe?" + +"That's nigher where it is," said Joe; "she ain't living." + +"Did she linger long, Joe?" + +"Arter you was took ill, pretty much about what you might call (if you +was put to it) a week," said Joe; still determined, on my account, to +come at everything by degrees. + +"Dear Joe, have you heard what becomes of her property?" + +"Well, old chap," said Joe, "it do appear that she had settled the most +of it, which I meantersay tied it up, on Miss Estella. But she had +wrote out a little coddleshell in her own hand a day or two afore the +accident, leaving a cool four thousand to Mr. Matthew Pocket. And why, +do you suppose, above all things, Pip, she left that cool four thousand +unto him? 'Because of Pip's account of him, the said Matthew.' I am told +by Biddy, that air the writing," said Joe, repeating the legal turn as +if it did him infinite good, "'account of him the said Matthew.' And a +cool four thousand, Pip!" + +I never discovered from whom Joe derived the conventional temperature of +the four thousand pounds; but it appeared to make the sum of money more +to him, and he had a manifest relish in insisting on its being cool. + +This account gave me great joy, as it perfected the only good thing I +had done. I asked Joe whether he had heard if any of the other relations +had any legacies? + +"Miss Sarah," said Joe, "she have twenty-five pound perannium fur to +buy pills, on account of being bilious. Miss Georgiana, she have twenty +pound down. Mrs.--what's the name of them wild beasts with humps, old +chap?" + +"Camels?" said I, wondering why he could possibly want to know. + +Joe nodded. "Mrs. Camels," by which I presently understood he meant +Camilla, "she have five pound fur to buy rushlights to put her in +spirits when she wake up in the night." + +The accuracy of these recitals was sufficiently obvious to me, to give +me great confidence in Joe's information. "And now," said Joe, "you +ain't that strong yet, old chap, that you can take in more nor one +additional shovelful to-day. Old Orlick he's been a bustin' open a +dwelling-ouse." + +"Whose?" said I. + +"Not, I grant you, but what his manners is given to blusterous," said +Joe, apologetically; "still, a Englishman's ouse is his Castle, and +castles must not be busted 'cept when done in war time. And wotsume'er +the failings on his part, he were a corn and seedsman in his hart." + +"Is it Pumblechook's house that has been broken into, then?" + +"That's it, Pip," said Joe; "and they took his till, and they took his +cash-box, and they drinked his wine, and they partook of his wittles, +and they slapped his face, and they pulled his nose, and they tied him +up to his bedpust, and they giv' him a dozen, and they stuffed his +mouth full of flowering annuals to prewent his crying out. But he knowed +Orlick, and Orlick's in the county jail." + +By these approaches we arrived at unrestricted conversation. I was slow +to gain strength, but I did slowly and surely become less weak, and Joe +stayed with me, and I fancied I was little Pip again. + +For the tenderness of Joe was so beautifully proportioned to my need, +that I was like a child in his hands. He would sit and talk to me in the +old confidence, and with the old simplicity, and in the old unassertive +protecting way, so that I would half believe that all my life since the +days of the old kitchen was one of the mental troubles of the fever that +was gone. He did everything for me except the household work, for which +he had engaged a very decent woman, after paying off the laundress on +his first arrival. "Which I do assure you, Pip," he would often say, in +explanation of that liberty; "I found her a tapping the spare bed, like +a cask of beer, and drawing off the feathers in a bucket, for sale. +Which she would have tapped yourn next, and draw'd it off with you a +laying on it, and was then a carrying away the coals gradiwally in +the soup-tureen and wegetable-dishes, and the wine and spirits in your +Wellington boots." + +We looked forward to the day when I should go out for a ride, as we had +once looked forward to the day of my apprenticeship. And when the day +came, and an open carriage was got into the Lane, Joe wrapped me up, +took me in his arms, carried me down to it, and put me in, as if I were +still the small helpless creature to whom he had so abundantly given of +the wealth of his great nature. + +And Joe got in beside me, and we drove away together into the country, +where the rich summer growth was already on the trees and on the grass, +and sweet summer scents filled all the air. The day happened to be +Sunday, and when I looked on the loveliness around me, and thought +how it had grown and changed, and how the little wild-flowers had been +forming, and the voices of the birds had been strengthening, by day and +by night, under the sun and under the stars, while poor I lay burning +and tossing on my bed, the mere remembrance of having burned and tossed +there came like a check upon my peace. But when I heard the Sunday +bells, and looked around a little more upon the outspread beauty, I felt +that I was not nearly thankful enough,--that I was too weak yet to be +even that,--and I laid my head on Joe's shoulder, as I had laid it long +ago when he had taken me to the Fair or where not, and it was too much +for my young senses. + +More composure came to me after a while, and we talked as we used +to talk, lying on the grass at the old Battery. There was no change +whatever in Joe. Exactly what he had been in my eyes then, he was in my +eyes still; just as simply faithful, and as simply right. + +When we got back again, and he lifted me out, and carried me--so +easily!--across the court and up the stairs, I thought of that eventful +Christmas Day when he had carried me over the marshes. We had not yet +made any allusion to my change of fortune, nor did I know how much of +my late history he was acquainted with. I was so doubtful of myself now, +and put so much trust in him, that I could not satisfy myself whether I +ought to refer to it when he did not. + +"Have you heard, Joe," I asked him that evening, upon further +consideration, as he smoked his pipe at the window, "who my patron was?" + +"I heerd," returned Joe, "as it were not Miss Havisham, old chap." + +"Did you hear who it was, Joe?" + +"Well! I heerd as it were a person what sent the person what giv' you +the bank-notes at the Jolly Bargemen, Pip." + +"So it was." + +"Astonishing!" said Joe, in the placidest way. + +"Did you hear that he was dead, Joe?" I presently asked, with increasing +diffidence. + +"Which? Him as sent the bank-notes, Pip?" + +"Yes." + +"I think," said Joe, after meditating a long time, and looking rather +evasively at the window-seat, "as I did hear tell that how he were +something or another in a general way in that direction." + +"Did you hear anything of his circumstances, Joe?" + +"Not partickler, Pip." + +"If you would like to hear, Joe--" I was beginning, when Joe got up and +came to my sofa. + +"Lookee here, old chap," said Joe, bending over me. "Ever the best of +friends; ain't us, Pip?" + +I was ashamed to answer him. + +"Wery good, then," said Joe, as if I had answered; "that's all right; +that's agreed upon. Then why go into subjects, old chap, which as +betwixt two sech must be for ever onnecessary? There's subjects enough +as betwixt two sech, without onnecessary ones. Lord! To think of your +poor sister and her Rampages! And don't you remember Tickler?" + +"I do indeed, Joe." + +"Lookee here, old chap," said Joe. "I done what I could to keep you +and Tickler in sunders, but my power were not always fully equal to my +inclinations. For when your poor sister had a mind to drop into you, it +were not so much," said Joe, in his favorite argumentative way, "that +she dropped into me too, if I put myself in opposition to her, but that +she dropped into you always heavier for it. I noticed that. It ain't a +grab at a man's whisker, not yet a shake or two of a man (to which your +sister was quite welcome), that 'ud put a man off from getting a little +child out of punishment. But when that little child is dropped into +heavier for that grab of whisker or shaking, then that man naterally up +and says to himself, 'Where is the good as you are a doing? I grant you +I see the 'arm,' says the man, 'but I don't see the good. I call upon +you, sir, therefore, to pint out the good.'" + +"The man says?" I observed, as Joe waited for me to speak. + +"The man says," Joe assented. "Is he right, that man?" + +"Dear Joe, he is always right." + +"Well, old chap," said Joe, "then abide by your words. If he's always +right (which in general he's more likely wrong), he's right when he says +this: Supposing ever you kep any little matter to yourself, when you +was a little child, you kep it mostly because you know'd as J. Gargery's +power to part you and Tickler in sunders were not fully equal to his +inclinations. Theerfore, think no more of it as betwixt two sech, and do +not let us pass remarks upon onnecessary subjects. Biddy giv' herself a +deal o' trouble with me afore I left (for I am almost awful dull), as I +should view it in this light, and, viewing it in this light, as I should +so put it. Both of which," said Joe, quite charmed with his logical +arrangement, "being done, now this to you a true friend, say. Namely. +You mustn't go a overdoing on it, but you must have your supper and your +wine and water, and you must be put betwixt the sheets." + +The delicacy with which Joe dismissed this theme, and the sweet tact and +kindness with which Biddy--who with her woman's wit had found me out so +soon--had prepared him for it, made a deep impression on my mind. But +whether Joe knew how poor I was, and how my great expectations had +all dissolved, like our own marsh mists before the sun, I could not +understand. + +Another thing in Joe that I could not understand when it first began to +develop itself, but which I soon arrived at a sorrowful comprehension +of, was this: As I became stronger and better, Joe became a little less +easy with me. In my weakness and entire dependence on him, the dear +fellow had fallen into the old tone, and called me by the old names, +the dear "old Pip, old chap," that now were music in my ears. I too had +fallen into the old ways, only happy and thankful that he let me. But, +imperceptibly, though I held by them fast, Joe's hold upon them began +to slacken; and whereas I wondered at this, at first, I soon began to +understand that the cause of it was in me, and that the fault of it was +all mine. + +Ah! Had I given Joe no reason to doubt my constancy, and to think that +in prosperity I should grow cold to him and cast him off? Had I given +Joe's innocent heart no cause to feel instinctively that as I got +stronger, his hold upon me would be weaker, and that he had better +loosen it in time and let me go, before I plucked myself away? + +It was on the third or fourth occasion of my going out walking in the +Temple Gardens leaning on Joe's arm, that I saw this change in him very +plainly. We had been sitting in the bright warm sunlight, looking at the +river, and I chanced to say as we got up,-- + +"See, Joe! I can walk quite strongly. Now, you shall see me walk back by +myself." + +"Which do not overdo it, Pip," said Joe; "but I shall be happy fur to +see you able, sir." + +The last word grated on me; but how could I remonstrate! I walked no +further than the gate of the gardens, and then pretended to be +weaker than I was, and asked Joe for his arm. Joe gave it me, but was +thoughtful. + +I, for my part, was thoughtful too; for, how best to check this growing +change in Joe was a great perplexity to my remorseful thoughts. That I +was ashamed to tell him exactly how I was placed, and what I had come +down to, I do not seek to conceal; but I hope my reluctance was not +quite an unworthy one. He would want to help me out of his little +savings, I knew, and I knew that he ought not to help me, and that I +must not suffer him to do it. + +It was a thoughtful evening with both of us. But, before we went to +bed, I had resolved that I would wait over to-morrow,--to-morrow being +Sunday,--and would begin my new course with the new week. On Monday +morning I would speak to Joe about this change, I would lay aside this +last vestige of reserve, I would tell him what I had in my thoughts +(that Secondly, not yet arrived at), and why I had not decided to go +out to Herbert, and then the change would be conquered for ever. As I +cleared, Joe cleared, and it seemed as though he had sympathetically +arrived at a resolution too. + +We had a quiet day on the Sunday, and we rode out into the country, and +then walked in the fields. + +"I feel thankful that I have been ill, Joe," I said. + +"Dear old Pip, old chap, you're a'most come round, sir." + +"It has been a memorable time for me, Joe." + +"Likeways for myself, sir," Joe returned. + +"We have had a time together, Joe, that I can never forget. There were +days once, I know, that I did for a while forget; but I never shall +forget these." + +"Pip," said Joe, appearing a little hurried and troubled, "there has +been larks. And, dear sir, what have been betwixt us--have been." + +At night, when I had gone to bed, Joe came into my room, as he had done +all through my recovery. He asked me if I felt sure that I was as well +as in the morning? + +"Yes, dear Joe, quite." + +"And are always a getting stronger, old chap?" + +"Yes, dear Joe, steadily." + +Joe patted the coverlet on my shoulder with his great good hand, and +said, in what I thought a husky voice, "Good night!" + +When I got up in the morning, refreshed and stronger yet, I was full of +my resolution to tell Joe all, without delay. I would tell him before +breakfast. I would dress at once and go to his room and surprise him; +for, it was the first day I had been up early. I went to his room, and +he was not there. Not only was he not there, but his box was gone. + +I hurried then to the breakfast-table, and on it found a letter. These +were its brief contents:-- + +"Not wishful to intrude I have departured fur you are well again dear +Pip and will do better without JO. + +"P.S. Ever the best of friends." + +Enclosed in the letter was a receipt for the debt and costs on which I +had been arrested. Down to that moment, I had vainly supposed that my +creditor had withdrawn, or suspended proceedings until I should be quite +recovered. I had never dreamed of Joe's having paid the money; but Joe +had paid it, and the receipt was in his name. + +What remained for me now, but to follow him to the dear old forge, and +there to have out my disclosure to him, and my penitent remonstrance +with him, and there to relieve my mind and heart of that reserved +Secondly, which had begun as a vague something lingering in my thoughts, +and had formed into a settled purpose? + +The purpose was, that I would go to Biddy, that I would show her how +humbled and repentant I came back, that I would tell her how I had lost +all I once hoped for, that I would remind her of our old confidences in +my first unhappy time. Then I would say to her, "Biddy, I think you once +liked me very well, when my errant heart, even while it strayed away +from you, was quieter and better with you than it ever has been since. +If you can like me only half as well once more, if you can take me with +all my faults and disappointments on my head, if you can receive me like +a forgiven child (and indeed I am as sorry, Biddy, and have as much need +of a hushing voice and a soothing hand), I hope I am a little worthier +of you that I was,--not much, but a little. And, Biddy, it shall rest +with you to say whether I shall work at the forge with Joe, or whether I +shall try for any different occupation down in this country, or whether +we shall go away to a distant place where an opportunity awaits me which +I set aside, when it was offered, until I knew your answer. And now, +dear Biddy, if you can tell me that you will go through the world with +me, you will surely make it a better world for me, and me a better man +for it, and I will try hard to make it a better world for you." + +Such was my purpose. After three days more of recovery, I went down to +the old place to put it in execution. And how I sped in it is all I have +left to tell. + + + + +Chapter LVIII + +The tidings of my high fortunes having had a heavy fall had got down +to my native place and its neighborhood before I got there. I found the +Blue Boar in possession of the intelligence, and I found that it made a +great change in the Boar's demeanour. Whereas the Boar had cultivated +my good opinion with warm assiduity when I was coming into property, +the Boar was exceedingly cool on the subject now that I was going out of +property. + +It was evening when I arrived, much fatigued by the journey I had so +often made so easily. The Boar could not put me into my usual bedroom, +which was engaged (probably by some one who had expectations), and +could only assign me a very indifferent chamber among the pigeons and +post-chaises up the yard. But I had as sound a sleep in that lodging as +in the most superior accommodation the Boar could have given me, and the +quality of my dreams was about the same as in the best bedroom. + +Early in the morning, while my breakfast was getting ready, I strolled +round by Satis House. There were printed bills on the gate and on bits +of carpet hanging out of the windows, announcing a sale by auction of +the Household Furniture and Effects, next week. The House itself was to +be sold as old building materials, and pulled down. LOT 1 was marked in +whitewashed knock-knee letters on the brew house; LOT 2 on that part of +the main building which had been so long shut up. Other lots were marked +off on other parts of the structure, and the ivy had been torn down to +make room for the inscriptions, and much of it trailed low in the dust +and was withered already. Stepping in for a moment at the open gate, and +looking around me with the uncomfortable air of a stranger who had no +business there, I saw the auctioneer's clerk walking on the casks and +telling them off for the information of a catalogue-compiler, pen in +hand, who made a temporary desk of the wheeled chair I had so often +pushed along to the tune of Old Clem. + +When I got back to my breakfast in the Boar's coffee-room, I found Mr. +Pumblechook conversing with the landlord. Mr. Pumblechook (not improved +in appearance by his late nocturnal adventure) was waiting for me, and +addressed me in the following terms:-- + +"Young man, I am sorry to see you brought low. But what else could be +expected! what else could be expected!" + +As he extended his hand with a magnificently forgiving air, and as I was +broken by illness and unfit to quarrel, I took it. + +"William," said Mr. Pumblechook to the waiter, "put a muffin on table. +And has it come to this! Has it come to this!" + +I frowningly sat down to my breakfast. Mr. Pumblechook stood over me and +poured out my tea--before I could touch the teapot--with the air of a +benefactor who was resolved to be true to the last. + +"William," said Mr. Pumblechook, mournfully, "put the salt on. In +happier times," addressing me, "I think you took sugar? And did you take +milk? You did. Sugar and milk. William, bring a watercress." + +"Thank you," said I, shortly, "but I don't eat watercresses." + +"You don't eat 'em," returned Mr. Pumblechook, sighing and nodding +his head several times, as if he might have expected that, and as if +abstinence from watercresses were consistent with my downfall. "True. +The simple fruits of the earth. No. You needn't bring any, William." + +I went on with my breakfast, and Mr. Pumblechook continued to stand over +me, staring fishily and breathing noisily, as he always did. + +"Little more than skin and bone!" mused Mr. Pumblechook, aloud. "And yet +when he went from here (I may say with my blessing), and I spread afore +him my humble store, like the Bee, he was as plump as a Peach!" + +This reminded me of the wonderful difference between the servile manner +in which he had offered his hand in my new prosperity, saying, "May I?" +and the ostentatious clemency with which he had just now exhibited the +same fat five fingers. + +"Hah!" he went on, handing me the bread and butter. "And air you a going +to Joseph?" + +"In heaven's name," said I, firing in spite of myself, "what does it +matter to you where I am going? Leave that teapot alone." + +It was the worst course I could have taken, because it gave Pumblechook +the opportunity he wanted. + +"Yes, young man," said he, releasing the handle of the article in +question, retiring a step or two from my table, and speaking for the +behoof of the landlord and waiter at the door, "I will leave that teapot +alone. You are right, young man. For once you are right. I forgit myself +when I take such an interest in your breakfast, as to wish your frame, +exhausted by the debilitating effects of prodigygality, to be stimilated +by the 'olesome nourishment of your forefathers. And yet," said +Pumblechook, turning to the landlord and waiter, and pointing me out at +arm's length, "this is him as I ever sported with in his days of happy +infancy! Tell me not it cannot be; I tell you this is him!" + +A low murmur from the two replied. The waiter appeared to be +particularly affected. + +"This is him," said Pumblechook, "as I have rode in my shay-cart. This +is him as I have seen brought up by hand. This is him untoe the sister +of which I was uncle by marriage, as her name was Georgiana M'ria from +her own mother, let him deny it if he can!" + +The waiter seemed convinced that I could not deny it, and that it gave +the case a black look. + +"Young man," said Pumblechook, screwing his head at me in the old +fashion, "you air a going to Joseph. What does it matter to me, you +ask me, where you air a going? I say to you, Sir, you air a going to +Joseph." + +The waiter coughed, as if he modestly invited me to get over that. + +"Now," said Pumblechook, and all this with a most exasperating air +of saying in the cause of virtue what was perfectly convincing and +conclusive, "I will tell you what to say to Joseph. Here is Squires of +the Boar present, known and respected in this town, and here is William, +which his father's name was Potkins if I do not deceive myself." + +"You do not, sir," said William. + +"In their presence," pursued Pumblechook, "I will tell you, young +man, what to say to Joseph. Says you, "Joseph, I have this day seen +my earliest benefactor and the founder of my fortun's. I will name no +names, Joseph, but so they are pleased to call him up town, and I have +seen that man." + +"I swear I don't see him here," said I. + +"Say that likewise," retorted Pumblechook. "Say you said that, and even +Joseph will probably betray surprise." + +"There you quite mistake him," said I. "I know better." + +"Says you," Pumblechook went on, "'Joseph, I have seen that man, and +that man bears you no malice and bears me no malice. He knows your +character, Joseph, and is well acquainted with your pig-headedness and +ignorance; and he knows my character, Joseph, and he knows my want of +gratitoode. Yes, Joseph,' says you," here Pumblechook shook his head and +hand at me, "'he knows my total deficiency of common human gratitoode. +He knows it, Joseph, as none can. You do not know it, Joseph, having no +call to know it, but that man do.'" + +Windy donkey as he was, it really amazed me that he could have the face +to talk thus to mine. + +"Says you, 'Joseph, he gave me a little message, which I will now +repeat. It was that, in my being brought low, he saw the finger of +Providence. He knowed that finger when he saw Joseph, and he saw it +plain. It pinted out this writing, Joseph. Reward of ingratitoode to his +earliest benefactor, and founder of fortun's. But that man said he did +not repent of what he had done, Joseph. Not at all. It was right to do +it, it was kind to do it, it was benevolent to do it, and he would do it +again.'" + +"It's pity," said I, scornfully, as I finished my interrupted breakfast, +"that the man did not say what he had done and would do again." + +"Squires of the Boar!" Pumblechook was now addressing the landlord, "and +William! I have no objections to your mentioning, either up town or down +town, if such should be your wishes, that it was right to do it, kind to +do it, benevolent to do it, and that I would do it again." + +With those words the Impostor shook them both by the hand, with an air, +and left the house; leaving me much more astonished than delighted by +the virtues of that same indefinite "it." I was not long after him in +leaving the house too, and when I went down the High Street I saw him +holding forth (no doubt to the same effect) at his shop door to a select +group, who honored me with very unfavorable glances as I passed on the +opposite side of the way. + +But, it was only the pleasanter to turn to Biddy and to Joe, whose +great forbearance shone more brightly than before, if that could be, +contrasted with this brazen pretender. I went towards them slowly, for +my limbs were weak, but with a sense of increasing relief as I drew +nearer to them, and a sense of leaving arrogance and untruthfulness +further and further behind. + +The June weather was delicious. The sky was blue, the larks were soaring +high over the green corn, I thought all that countryside more beautiful +and peaceful by far than I had ever known it to be yet. Many pleasant +pictures of the life that I would lead there, and of the change for the +better that would come over my character when I had a guiding spirit at +my side whose simple faith and clear home wisdom I had proved, beguiled +my way. They awakened a tender emotion in me; for my heart was softened +by my return, and such a change had come to pass, that I felt like one +who was toiling home barefoot from distant travel, and whose wanderings +had lasted many years. + +The schoolhouse where Biddy was mistress I had never seen; but, the +little roundabout lane by which I entered the village, for quietness' +sake, took me past it. I was disappointed to find that the day was a +holiday; no children were there, and Biddy's house was closed. Some +hopeful notion of seeing her, busily engaged in her daily duties, before +she saw me, had been in my mind and was defeated. + +But the forge was a very short distance off, and I went towards it under +the sweet green limes, listening for the clink of Joe's hammer. Long +after I ought to have heard it, and long after I had fancied I heard it +and found it but a fancy, all was still. The limes were there, and the +white thorns were there, and the chestnut-trees were there, and their +leaves rustled harmoniously when I stopped to listen; but, the clink of +Joe's hammer was not in the midsummer wind. + +Almost fearing, without knowing why, to come in view of the forge, I saw +it at last, and saw that it was closed. No gleam of fire, no glittering +shower of sparks, no roar of bellows; all shut up, and still. + +But the house was not deserted, and the best parlor seemed to be in use, +for there were white curtains fluttering in its window, and the window +was open and gay with flowers. I went softly towards it, meaning to peep +over the flowers, when Joe and Biddy stood before me, arm in arm. + +At first Biddy gave a cry, as if she thought it was my apparition, but +in another moment she was in my embrace. I wept to see her, and she wept +to see me; I, because she looked so fresh and pleasant; she, because I +looked so worn and white. + +"But dear Biddy, how smart you are!" + +"Yes, dear Pip." + +"And Joe, how smart you are!" + +"Yes, dear old Pip, old chap." + +I looked at both of them, from one to the other, and then-- + +"It's my wedding-day!" cried Biddy, in a burst of happiness, "and I am +married to Joe!" + +They had taken me into the kitchen, and I had laid my head down on +the old deal table. Biddy held one of my hands to her lips, and Joe's +restoring touch was on my shoulder. "Which he warn't strong enough, my +dear, fur to be surprised," said Joe. And Biddy said, "I ought to +have thought of it, dear Joe, but I was too happy." They were both so +overjoyed to see me, so proud to see me, so touched by my coming to +them, so delighted that I should have come by accident to make their day +complete! + +My first thought was one of great thankfulness that I had never breathed +this last baffled hope to Joe. How often, while he was with me in my +illness, had it risen to my lips! How irrevocable would have been his +knowledge of it, if he had remained with me but another hour! + +"Dear Biddy," said I, "you have the best husband in the whole world, +and if you could have seen him by my bed you would have--But no, you +couldn't love him better than you do." + +"No, I couldn't indeed," said Biddy. + +"And, dear Joe, you have the best wife in the whole world, and she will +make you as happy as even you deserve to be, you dear, good, noble Joe!" + +Joe looked at me with a quivering lip, and fairly put his sleeve before +his eyes. + +"And Joe and Biddy both, as you have been to church to-day, and are in +charity and love with all mankind, receive my humble thanks for all you +have done for me, and all I have so ill repaid! And when I say that I am +going away within the hour, for I am soon going abroad, and that I shall +never rest until I have worked for the money with which you have kept me +out of prison, and have sent it to you, don't think, dear Joe and Biddy, +that if I could repay it a thousand times over, I suppose I could cancel +a farthing of the debt I owe you, or that I would do so if I could!" + +They were both melted by these words, and both entreated me to say no +more. + +"But I must say more. Dear Joe, I hope you will have children to love, +and that some little fellow will sit in this chimney-corner of a winter +night, who may remind you of another little fellow gone out of it for +ever. Don't tell him, Joe, that I was thankless; don't tell him, Biddy, +that I was ungenerous and unjust; only tell him that I honored you both, +because you were both so good and true, and that, as your child, I said +it would be natural to him to grow up a much better man than I did." + +"I ain't a going," said Joe, from behind his sleeve, "to tell him +nothink o' that natur, Pip. Nor Biddy ain't. Nor yet no one ain't." + +"And now, though I know you have already done it in your own kind +hearts, pray tell me, both, that you forgive me! Pray let me hear you +say the words, that I may carry the sound of them away with me, and then +I shall be able to believe that you can trust me, and think better of +me, in the time to come!" + +"O dear old Pip, old chap," said Joe. "God knows as I forgive you, if I +have anythink to forgive!" + +"Amen! And God knows I do!" echoed Biddy. + +"Now let me go up and look at my old little room, and rest there a few +minutes by myself. And then, when I have eaten and drunk with you, go +with me as far as the finger-post, dear Joe and Biddy, before we say +good-bye!" + +*** + +I sold all I had, and put aside as much as I could, for a composition +with my creditors,--who gave me ample time to pay them in full,--and I +went out and joined Herbert. Within a month, I had quitted England, +and within two months I was clerk to Clarriker and Co., and within four +months I assumed my first undivided responsibility. For the beam across +the parlor ceiling at Mill Pond Bank had then ceased to tremble under +old Bill Barley's growls and was at peace, and Herbert had gone away to +marry Clara, and I was left in sole charge of the Eastern Branch until +he brought her back. + +Many a year went round before I was a partner in the House; but I lived +happily with Herbert and his wife, and lived frugally, and paid my +debts, and maintained a constant correspondence with Biddy and Joe. It +was not until I became third in the Firm, that Clarriker betrayed me to +Herbert; but he then declared that the secret of Herbert's partnership +had been long enough upon his conscience, and he must tell it. So he +told it, and Herbert was as much moved as amazed, and the dear fellow +and I were not the worse friends for the long concealment. I must not +leave it to be supposed that we were ever a great House, or that we made +mints of money. We were not in a grand way of business, but we had a +good name, and worked for our profits, and did very well. We owed so +much to Herbert's ever cheerful industry and readiness, that I often +wondered how I had conceived that old idea of his inaptitude, until I +was one day enlightened by the reflection, that perhaps the inaptitude +had never been in him at all, but had been in me. + + + + +Chapter LIX + +For eleven years, I had not seen Joe nor Biddy with my bodily +eyes,--though they had both been often before my fancy in the +East,--when, upon an evening in December, an hour or two after dark, I +laid my hand softly on the latch of the old kitchen door. I touched it +so softly that I was not heard, and looked in unseen. There, smoking his +pipe in the old place by the kitchen firelight, as hale and as strong as +ever, though a little gray, sat Joe; and there, fenced into the corner +with Joe's leg, and sitting on my own little stool looking at the fire, +was--I again! + +"We giv' him the name of Pip for your sake, dear old chap," said Joe, +delighted, when I took another stool by the child's side (but I did not +rumple his hair), "and we hoped he might grow a little bit like you, and +we think he do." + +I thought so too, and I took him out for a walk next morning, and we +talked immensely, understanding one another to perfection. And I took +him down to the churchyard, and set him on a certain tombstone there, +and he showed me from that elevation which stone was sacred to the +memory of Philip Pirrip, late of this Parish, and Also Georgiana, Wife +of the Above. + +"Biddy," said I, when I talked with her after dinner, as her little girl +lay sleeping in her lap, "you must give Pip to me one of these days; or +lend him, at all events." + +"No, no," said Biddy, gently. "You must marry." + +"So Herbert and Clara say, but I don't think I shall, Biddy. I have so +settled down in their home, that it's not at all likely. I am already +quite an old bachelor." + +Biddy looked down at her child, and put its little hand to her lips, and +then put the good matronly hand with which she had touched it into mine. +There was something in the action, and in the light pressure of Biddy's +wedding-ring, that had a very pretty eloquence in it. + +"Dear Pip," said Biddy, "you are sure you don't fret for her?" + +"O no,--I think not, Biddy." + +"Tell me as an old, old friend. Have you quite forgotten her? + +"My dear Biddy, I have forgotten nothing in my life that ever had a +foremost place there, and little that ever had any place there. But that +poor dream, as I once used to call it, has all gone by, Biddy,--all gone +by!" + +Nevertheless, I knew, while I said those words, that I secretly intended +to revisit the site of the old house that evening, alone, for her sake. +Yes, even so. For Estella's sake. + +I had heard of her as leading a most unhappy life, and as being +separated from her husband, who had used her with great cruelty, and who +had become quite renowned as a compound of pride, avarice, brutality, +and meanness. And I had heard of the death of her husband, from an +accident consequent on his ill-treatment of a horse. This release had +befallen her some two years before; for anything I knew, she was married +again. + +The early dinner hour at Joe's, left me abundance of time, without +hurrying my talk with Biddy, to walk over to the old spot before dark. +But, what with loitering on the way to look at old objects and to think +of old times, the day had quite declined when I came to the place. + +There was no house now, no brewery, no building whatever left, but the +wall of the old garden. The cleared space had been enclosed with a rough +fence, and looking over it, I saw that some of the old ivy had struck +root anew, and was growing green on low quiet mounds of ruin. A gate in +the fence standing ajar, I pushed it open, and went in. + +A cold silvery mist had veiled the afternoon, and the moon was not yet +up to scatter it. But, the stars were shining beyond the mist, and the +moon was coming, and the evening was not dark. I could trace out where +every part of the old house had been, and where the brewery had been, +and where the gates, and where the casks. I had done so, and was looking +along the desolate garden walk, when I beheld a solitary figure in it. + +The figure showed itself aware of me, as I advanced. It had been moving +towards me, but it stood still. As I drew nearer, I saw it to be the +figure of a woman. As I drew nearer yet, it was about to turn away, when +it stopped, and let me come up with it. Then, it faltered, as if much +surprised, and uttered my name, and I cried out,-- + +"Estella!" + +"I am greatly changed. I wonder you know me." + +The freshness of her beauty was indeed gone, but its indescribable +majesty and its indescribable charm remained. Those attractions in it, +I had seen before; what I had never seen before, was the saddened, +softened light of the once proud eyes; what I had never felt before was +the friendly touch of the once insensible hand. + +We sat down on a bench that was near, and I said, "After so many years, +it is strange that we should thus meet again, Estella, here where our +first meeting was! Do you often come back?" + +"I have never been here since." + +"Nor I." + +The moon began to rise, and I thought of the placid look at the white +ceiling, which had passed away. The moon began to rise, and I thought of +the pressure on my hand when I had spoken the last words he had heard on +earth. + +Estella was the next to break the silence that ensued between us. + +"I have very often hoped and intended to come back, but have been +prevented by many circumstances. Poor, poor old place!" + +The silvery mist was touched with the first rays of the moonlight, and +the same rays touched the tears that dropped from her eyes. Not knowing +that I saw them, and setting herself to get the better of them, she said +quietly,-- + +"Were you wondering, as you walked along, how it came to be left in this +condition?" + +"Yes, Estella." + +"The ground belongs to me. It is the only possession I have not +relinquished. Everything else has gone from me, little by little, but I +have kept this. It was the subject of the only determined resistance I +made in all the wretched years." + +"Is it to be built on?" + +"At last, it is. I came here to take leave of it before its change. And +you," she said, in a voice of touching interest to a wanderer,--"you +live abroad still?" + +"Still." + +"And do well, I am sure?" + +"I work pretty hard for a sufficient living, and therefore--yes, I do +well." + +"I have often thought of you," said Estella. + +"Have you?" + +"Of late, very often. There was a long hard time when I kept far from me +the remembrance of what I had thrown away when I was quite ignorant +of its worth. But since my duty has not been incompatible with the +admission of that remembrance, I have given it a place in my heart." + +"You have always held your place in my heart," I answered. + +And we were silent again until she spoke. + +"I little thought," said Estella, "that I should take leave of you in +taking leave of this spot. I am very glad to do so." + +"Glad to part again, Estella? To me, parting is a painful thing. To me, +the remembrance of our last parting has been ever mournful and painful." + +"But you said to me," returned Estella, very earnestly, "'God bless you, +God forgive you!' And if you could say that to me then, you will not +hesitate to say that to me now,--now, when suffering has been stronger +than all other teaching, and has taught me to understand what your heart +used to be. I have been bent and broken, but--I hope--into a better +shape. Be as considerate and good to me as you were, and tell me we are +friends." + +"We are friends," said I, rising and bending over her, as she rose from +the bench. + +"And will continue friends apart," said Estella. + +I took her hand in mine, and we went out of the ruined place; and, as +the morning mists had risen long ago when I first left the forge, so the +evening mists were rising now, and in all the broad expanse of tranquil +light they showed to me, I saw no shadow of another parting from her. \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Text4.txt b/Text4.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..7e8d114 --- /dev/null +++ b/Text4.txt @@ -0,0 +1,36875 @@ +LITTLE DORRIT + +By Charles Dickens + + + +CONTENTS + + + Preface to the 1857 Edition + + + BOOK THE FIRST: POVERTY + 1. Sun and Shadow + 2. Fellow Travellers + 3. Home + 4. Mrs Flintwinch has a Dream + 5. Family Affairs + 6. The Father of the Marshalsea + 7. The Child of the Marshalsea + 8. The Lock + 9. little Mother + 10. Containing the whole Science of Government + 11. Let Loose + 12. Bleeding Heart Yard + 13. Patriarchal + 14. Little Dorrit's Party + 15. Mrs Flintwinch has another Dream + 16. Nobody's Weakness + 17. Nobody's Rival + 18. Little Dorrit's Lover + 19. The Father of the Marshalsea in two or three Relations + 20. Moving in Society + 21. Mr Merdle's Complaint + 22. A Puzzle + 23. Machinery in Motion + 24. Fortune-Telling + 25. Conspirators and Others + 26. Nobody's State of Mind + 27. Five-and-Twenty + 28. Nobody's Disappearance + 29. Mrs Flintwinch goes on Dreaming + 30. The Word of a Gentleman + 31. Spirit + 32. More Fortune-Telling + 33. Mrs Merdle's Complaint + 34. A Shoal of Barnacles + 35. What was behind Mr Pancks on Little Dorrit's Hand + 36. The Marshalsea becomes an Orphan + + + + BOOK THE SECOND: RICHES + + 1. Fellow Travellers + 2. Mrs General + 3. On the Road + 4. A Letter from Little Dorrit + 5. Something Wrong Somewhere + 6. Something Right Somewhere + 7. Mostly, Prunes and Prism + 8. The Dowager Mrs Gowan is reminded that 'It Never Does' + 9. Appearance and Disappearance + 10. The Dreams of Mrs Flintwinch thicken + 11. A Letter from Little Dorrit + 12. In which a Great Patriotic Conference is holden + 13. The Progress of an Epidemic + 14. Taking Advice + 15. No just Cause or Impediment why these Two Persons should + not be joined together + 16. Getting on + 17. Missing + 18. A Castle in the Air + 19. The Storming of the Castle in the Air + 20. Introduces the next + 21. The History of a Self-Tormentor + 22. Who Passes by this Road so late? + 23. Mistress Affery makes a Conditional Promise, respecting her + Dreams + 24. The Evening of a Long Day + 25. The Chief Butler Resigns the Seals of Office + 26. Reaping the Whirlwind + 27. The Pupil of the Marshalsea + 28. An Appearance in the Marshalsea + 29. A Plea in the Marshalsea + 30. Closing in + 31. Closed + 32. Going + 33. Going! + 34. Gone + + + + +PREFACE TO THE 1857 EDITION + + +I have been occupied with this story, during many working hours of two +years. I must have been very ill employed, if I could not leave its +merits and demerits as a whole, to express themselves on its being read +as a whole. But, as it is not unreasonable to suppose that I may have +held its threads with a more continuous attention than anyone else can +have given them during its desultory publication, it is not unreasonable +to ask that the weaving may be looked at in its completed state, and +with the pattern finished. + +If I might offer any apology for so exaggerated a fiction as the +Barnacles and the Circumlocution Office, I would seek it in the +common experience of an Englishman, without presuming to mention the +unimportant fact of my having done that violence to good manners, in the +days of a Russian war, and of a Court of Inquiry at Chelsea. If I might +make so bold as to defend that extravagant conception, Mr Merdle, I +would hint that it originated after the Railroad-share epoch, in the +times of a certain Irish bank, and of one or two other equally +laudable enterprises. If I were to plead anything in mitigation of the +preposterous fancy that a bad design will sometimes claim to be a good +and an expressly religious design, it would be the curious coincidence +that it has been brought to its climax in these pages, in the days of +the public examination of late Directors of a Royal British Bank. But, +I submit myself to suffer judgment to go by default on all these counts, +if need be, and to accept the assurance (on good authority) that nothing +like them was ever known in this land. + +Some of my readers may have an interest in being informed whether or no +any portions of the Marshalsea Prison are yet standing. I did not know, +myself, until the sixth of this present month, when I went to look. I +found the outer front courtyard, often mentioned here, metamorphosed +into a butter shop; and I then almost gave up every brick of the jail +for lost. Wandering, however, down a certain adjacent 'Angel Court, +leading to Bermondsey', I came to 'Marshalsea Place:' the houses in +which I recognised, not only as the great block of the former prison, +but as preserving the rooms that arose in my mind's-eye when I became +Little Dorrit's biographer. The smallest boy I ever conversed with, +carrying the largest baby I ever saw, offered a supernaturally +intelligent explanation of the locality in its old uses, and was very +nearly correct. How this young Newton (for such I judge him to be) came +by his information, I don't know; he was a quarter of a century too +young to know anything about it of himself. I pointed to the window of +the room where Little Dorrit was born, and where her father lived so +long, and asked him what was the name of the lodger who tenanted that +apartment at present? He said, 'Tom Pythick.' I asked him who was Tom +Pythick? and he said, 'Joe Pythick's uncle.' + +A little further on, I found the older and smaller wall, which used +to enclose the pent-up inner prison where nobody was put, except for +ceremony. But, whosoever goes into Marshalsea Place, turning out of +Angel Court, leading to Bermondsey, will find his feet on the very +paving-stones of the extinct Marshalsea jail; will see its narrow yard +to the right and to the left, very little altered if at all, except that +the walls were lowered when the place got free; will look upon rooms +in which the debtors lived; and will stand among the crowding ghosts of +many miserable years. + +In the Preface to Bleak House I remarked that I had never had so many +readers. In the Preface to its next successor, Little Dorrit, I have +still to repeat the same words. Deeply sensible of the affection and +confidence that have grown up between us, I add to this Preface, as I +added to that, May we meet again! + +London May 1857 + + + + +BOOK THE FIRST: POVERTY + + + +CHAPTER 1. Sun and Shadow + + +Thirty years ago, Marseilles lay burning in the sun, one day. + +A blazing sun upon a fierce August day was no greater rarity in southern +France then, than at any other time, before or since. Everything in +Marseilles, and about Marseilles, had stared at the fervid sky, and been +stared at in return, until a staring habit had become universal there. +Strangers were stared out of countenance by staring white houses, +staring white walls, staring white streets, staring tracts of arid road, +staring hills from which verdure was burnt away. The only things to be +seen not fixedly staring and glaring were the vines drooping under their +load of grapes. These did occasionally wink a little, as the hot air +barely moved their faint leaves. + +There was no wind to make a ripple on the foul water within the harbour, +or on the beautiful sea without. The line of demarcation between the two +colours, black and blue, showed the point which the pure sea would not +pass; but it lay as quiet as the abominable pool, with which it never +mixed. Boats without awnings were too hot to touch; ships blistered at +their moorings; the stones of the quays had not cooled, night or +day, for months. Hindoos, Russians, Chinese, Spaniards, Portuguese, +Englishmen, Frenchmen, Genoese, Neapolitans, Venetians, Greeks, Turks, +descendants from all the builders of Babel, come to trade at Marseilles, +sought the shade alike--taking refuge in any hiding-place from a sea too +intensely blue to be looked at, and a sky of purple, set with one great +flaming jewel of fire. + +The universal stare made the eyes ache. Towards the distant line of +Italian coast, indeed, it was a little relieved by light clouds of mist, +slowly rising from the evaporation of the sea, but it softened nowhere +else. Far away the staring roads, deep in dust, stared from the +hill-side, stared from the hollow, stared from the interminable +plain. Far away the dusty vines overhanging wayside cottages, and the +monotonous wayside avenues of parched trees without shade, drooped +beneath the stare of earth and sky. So did the horses with drowsy bells, +in long files of carts, creeping slowly towards the interior; so did +their recumbent drivers, when they were awake, which rarely happened; +so did the exhausted labourers in the fields. Everything that lived or +grew, was oppressed by the glare; except the lizard, passing swiftly +over rough stone walls, and the cicala, chirping his dry hot chirp, like +a rattle. The very dust was scorched brown, and something quivered in +the atmosphere as if the air itself were panting. + +Blinds, shutters, curtains, awnings, were all closed and drawn to keep +out the stare. Grant it but a chink or keyhole, and it shot in like a +white-hot arrow. The churches were the freest from it. To come out of +the twilight of pillars and arches--dreamily dotted with winking lamps, +dreamily peopled with ugly old shadows piously dozing, spitting, and +begging--was to plunge into a fiery river, and swim for life to the +nearest strip of shade. So, with people lounging and lying wherever +shade was, with but little hum of tongues or barking of dogs, with +occasional jangling of discordant church bells and rattling of vicious +drums, Marseilles, a fact to be strongly smelt and tasted, lay broiling +in the sun one day. + +In Marseilles that day there was a villainous prison. In one of its +chambers, so repulsive a place that even the obtrusive stare blinked at +it, and left it to such refuse of reflected light as it could find for +itself, were two men. Besides the two men, a notched and disfigured +bench, immovable from the wall, with a draught-board rudely hacked upon +it with a knife, a set of draughts, made of old buttons and soup bones, +a set of dominoes, two mats, and two or three wine bottles. That was all +the chamber held, exclusive of rats and other unseen vermin, in addition +to the seen vermin, the two men. + +It received such light as it got through a grating of iron bars +fashioned like a pretty large window, by means of which it could be +always inspected from the gloomy staircase on which the grating gave. +There was a broad strong ledge of stone to this grating where the bottom +of it was let into the masonry, three or four feet above the ground. +Upon it, one of the two men lolled, half sitting and half lying, with +his knees drawn up, and his feet and shoulders planted against the +opposite sides of the aperture. The bars were wide enough apart to +admit of his thrusting his arm through to the elbow; and so he held on +negligently, for his greater ease. + +A prison taint was on everything there. The imprisoned air, the +imprisoned light, the imprisoned damps, the imprisoned men, were all +deteriorated by confinement. As the captive men were faded and haggard, +so the iron was rusty, the stone was slimy, the wood was rotten, the air +was faint, the light was dim. Like a well, like a vault, like a tomb, +the prison had no knowledge of the brightness outside, and would have +kept its polluted atmosphere intact in one of the spice islands of the +Indian ocean. + +The man who lay on the ledge of the grating was even chilled. He jerked +his great cloak more heavily upon him by an impatient movement of one +shoulder, and growled, 'To the devil with this Brigand of a Sun that +never shines in here!' + +He was waiting to be fed, looking sideways through the bars that he +might see the further down the stairs, with much of the expression of +a wild beast in similar expectation. But his eyes, too close together, +were not so nobly set in his head as those of the king of beasts are in +his, and they were sharp rather than bright--pointed weapons with little +surface to betray them. They had no depth or change; they glittered, +and they opened and shut. So far, and waiving their use to himself, a +clockmaker could have made a better pair. He had a hook nose, handsome +after its kind, but too high between the eyes by probably just as much +as his eyes were too near to one another. For the rest, he was large and +tall in frame, had thin lips, where his thick moustache showed them at +all, and a quantity of dry hair, of no definable colour, in its shaggy +state, but shot with red. The hand with which he held the grating +(seamed all over the back with ugly scratches newly healed), was +unusually small and plump; would have been unusually white but for the +prison grime. + +The other man was lying on the stone floor, covered with a coarse brown +coat. + +'Get up, pig!' growled the first. 'Don't sleep when I am hungry.' + +'It's all one, master,' said the pig, in a submissive manner, and not +without cheerfulness; 'I can wake when I will, I can sleep when I will. +It's all the same.' + +As he said it, he rose, shook himself, scratched himself, tied his brown +coat loosely round his neck by the sleeves (he had previously used it +as a coverlet), and sat down upon the pavement yawning, with his back +against the wall opposite to the grating. + +'Say what the hour is,' grumbled the first man. + +'The mid-day bells will ring--in forty minutes.' When he made the +little pause, he had looked round the prison-room, as if for certain +information. + +'You are a clock. How is it that you always know?' + +'How can I say? I always know what the hour is, and where I am. I was +brought in here at night, and out of a boat, but I know where I am. See +here! Marseilles harbour;' on his knees on the pavement, mapping it all +out with a swarthy forefinger; 'Toulon (where the galleys are), Spain +over there, Algiers over _there_. Creeping away to the left here, Nice. +Round by the Cornice to Genoa. Genoa Mole and Harbour. Quarantine +Ground. City there; terrace gardens blushing with the bella donna. Here, +Porto Fino. Stand out for Leghorn. Out again for Civita Vecchia, so away +to--hey! there's no room for Naples;' he had got to the wall by this +time; 'but it's all one; it's in there!' + +He remained on his knees, looking up at his fellow-prisoner with a +lively look for a prison. A sunburnt, quick, lithe, little man, though +rather thickset. Earrings in his brown ears, white teeth lighting up his +grotesque brown face, intensely black hair clustering about his brown +throat, a ragged red shirt open at his brown breast. Loose, seaman-like +trousers, decent shoes, a long red cap, a red sash round his waist, and +a knife in it. + +'Judge if I come back from Naples as I went! See here, my master! Civita +Vecchia, Leghorn, Porto Fino, Genoa, Cornice, Off Nice (which is in +there), Marseilles, you and me. The apartment of the jailer and his keys +is where I put this thumb; and here at my wrist they keep the national +razor in its case--the guillotine locked up.' + +The other man spat suddenly on the pavement, and gurgled in his throat. + +Some lock below gurgled in _its_ throat immediately afterwards, and then +a door crashed. Slow steps began ascending the stairs; the prattle of +a sweet little voice mingled with the noise they made; and the +prison-keeper appeared carrying his daughter, three or four years old, +and a basket. + +'How goes the world this forenoon, gentlemen? My little one, you see, +going round with me to have a peep at her father's birds. Fie, then! +Look at the birds, my pretty, look at the birds.' + +He looked sharply at the birds himself, as he held the child up at +the grate, especially at the little bird, whose activity he seemed to +mistrust. 'I have brought your bread, Signor John Baptist,' said he +(they all spoke in French, but the little man was an Italian); 'and if I +might recommend you not to game--' + +'You don't recommend the master!' said John Baptist, showing his teeth +as he smiled. + +'Oh! but the master wins,' returned the jailer, with a passing look of +no particular liking at the other man, 'and you lose. It's quite another +thing. You get husky bread and sour drink by it; and he gets sausage of +Lyons, veal in savoury jelly, white bread, strachino cheese, and good +wine by it. Look at the birds, my pretty!' + +'Poor birds!' said the child. + +The fair little face, touched with divine compassion, as it peeped +shrinkingly through the grate, was like an angel's in the prison. John +Baptist rose and moved towards it, as if it had a good attraction for +him. The other bird remained as before, except for an impatient glance +at the basket. + +'Stay!' said the jailer, putting his little daughter on the outer ledge +of the grate, 'she shall feed the birds. This big loaf is for Signor +John Baptist. We must break it to get it through into the cage. So, +there's a tame bird to kiss the little hand! This sausage in a vine +leaf is for Monsieur Rigaud. Again--this veal in savoury jelly is for +Monsieur Rigaud. Again--these three white little loaves are for Monsieur +Rigaud. Again, this cheese--again, this wine--again, this tobacco--all +for Monsieur Rigaud. Lucky bird!' + +The child put all these things between the bars into the soft, Smooth, +well-shaped hand, with evident dread--more than once drawing back +her own and looking at the man with her fair brow roughened into an +expression half of fright and half of anger. Whereas she had put the +lump of coarse bread into the swart, scaled, knotted hands of John +Baptist (who had scarcely as much nail on his eight fingers and two +thumbs as would have made out one for Monsieur Rigaud), with ready +confidence; and, when he kissed her hand, had herself passed it +caressingly over his face. Monsieur Rigaud, indifferent to this +distinction, propitiated the father by laughing and nodding at the +daughter as often as she gave him anything; and, so soon as he had +all his viands about him in convenient nooks of the ledge on which he +rested, began to eat with an appetite. + +When Monsieur Rigaud laughed, a change took place in his face, that +was more remarkable than prepossessing. His moustache went up under his +nose, and his nose came down over his moustache, in a very sinister and +cruel manner. + +'There!' said the jailer, turning his basket upside down to beat the +crumbs out, 'I have expended all the money I received; here is the note +of it, and _that's_ a thing accomplished. Monsieur Rigaud, as I expected +yesterday, the President will look for the pleasure of your society at +an hour after mid-day, to-day.' + +'To try me, eh?' said Rigaud, pausing, knife in hand and morsel in +mouth. + +'You have said it. To try you.' + +'There is no news for me?' asked John Baptist, who had begun, +contentedly, to munch his bread. + +The jailer shrugged his shoulders. + +'Lady of mine! Am I to lie here all my life, my father?' + +'What do I know!' cried the jailer, turning upon him with southern +quickness, and gesticulating with both his hands and all his fingers, +as if he were threatening to tear him to pieces. 'My friend, how is it +possible for me to tell how long you are to lie here? What do I know, +John Baptist Cavalletto? Death of my life! There are prisoners here +sometimes, who are not in such a devil of a hurry to be tried.' + +He seemed to glance obliquely at Monsieur Rigaud in this remark; but +Monsieur Rigaud had already resumed his meal, though not with quite so +quick an appetite as before. + +'Adieu, my birds!' said the keeper of the prison, taking his pretty +child in his arms, and dictating the words with a kiss. + +'Adieu, my birds!' the pretty child repeated. + +Her innocent face looked back so brightly over his shoulder, as he +walked away with her, singing her the song of the child's game: + + 'Who passes by this road so late? + Compagnon de la Majolaine! + Who passes by this road so late? + Always gay!' + +that John Baptist felt it a point of honour to reply at the grate, and +in good time and tune, though a little hoarsely: + + 'Of all the king's knights 'tis the flower, + Compagnon de la Majolaine! + Of all the king's knights 'tis the flower, + Always gay!' + +Which accompanied them so far down the few steep stairs, that the +prison-keeper had to stop at last for his little daughter to hear the +song out, and repeat the Refrain while they were yet in sight. Then the +child's head disappeared, and the prison-keeper's head disappeared, but +the little voice prolonged the strain until the door clashed. + +Monsieur Rigaud, finding the listening John Baptist in his way before +the echoes had ceased (even the echoes were the weaker for imprisonment, +and seemed to lag), reminded him with a push of his foot that he had +better resume his own darker place. The little man sat down again +upon the pavement with the negligent ease of one who was thoroughly +accustomed to pavements; and placing three hunks of coarse bread before +himself, and falling to upon a fourth, began contentedly to work his way +through them as if to clear them off were a sort of game. + +Perhaps he glanced at the Lyons sausage, and perhaps he glanced at the +veal in savoury jelly, but they were not there long, to make his mouth +water; Monsieur Rigaud soon dispatched them, in spite of the president +and tribunal, and proceeded to suck his fingers as clean as he could, +and to wipe them on his vine leaves. Then, as he paused in his drink +to contemplate his fellow-prisoner, his moustache went up, and his nose +came down. + +'How do you find the bread?' + +'A little dry, but I have my old sauce here,' returned John Baptist, +holding up his knife. + +'How sauce?' + +'I can cut my bread so--like a melon. Or so--like an omelette. Or +so--like a fried fish. Or so--like Lyons sausage,' said John Baptist, +demonstrating the various cuts on the bread he held, and soberly chewing +what he had in his mouth. + +'Here!' cried Monsieur Rigaud. 'You may drink. You may finish this.' + +It was no great gift, for there was mighty little wine left; but Signor +Cavalletto, jumping to his feet, received the bottle gratefully, turned +it upside down at his mouth, and smacked his lips. + +'Put the bottle by with the rest,' said Rigaud. + +The little man obeyed his orders, and stood ready to give him a lighted +match; for he was now rolling his tobacco into cigarettes by the aid of +little squares of paper which had been brought in with it. + +'Here! You may have one.' + +'A thousand thanks, my master!' John Baptist said in his own language, +and with the quick conciliatory manner of his own countrymen. + +Monsieur Rigaud arose, lighted a cigarette, put the rest of his stock +into a breast-pocket, and stretched himself out at full length upon the +bench. Cavalletto sat down on the pavement, holding one of his ankles in +each hand, and smoking peacefully. There seemed to be some uncomfortable +attraction of Monsieur Rigaud's eyes to the immediate neighbourhood of +that part of the pavement where the thumb had been in the plan. They +were so drawn in that direction, that the Italian more than once +followed them to and back from the pavement in some surprise. + +'What an infernal hole this is!' said Monsieur Rigaud, breaking a long +pause. 'Look at the light of day. Day? the light of yesterday week, the +light of six months ago, the light of six years ago. So slack and dead!' + +It came languishing down a square funnel that blinded a window in the +staircase wall, through which the sky was never seen--nor anything else. + +'Cavalletto,' said Monsieur Rigaud, suddenly withdrawing his gaze from +this funnel to which they had both involuntarily turned their eyes, 'you +know me for a gentleman?' + +'Surely, surely!' + +'How long have we been here?' + +'I, eleven weeks, to-morrow night at midnight. You, nine weeks and three +days, at five this afternoon.' + +'Have I ever done anything here? Ever touched the broom, or spread +the mats, or rolled them up, or found the draughts, or collected the +dominoes, or put my hand to any kind of work?' + +'Never!' + +'Have you ever thought of looking to me to do any kind of work?' + +John Baptist answered with that peculiar back-handed shake of the +right forefinger which is the most expressive negative in the Italian +language. + +'No! You knew from the first moment when you saw me here, that I was a +gentleman?' + +'ALTRO!' returned John Baptist, closing his eyes and giving his head a +most vehement toss. The word being, according to its Genoese emphasis, +a confirmation, a contradiction, an assertion, a denial, a taunt, +a compliment, a joke, and fifty other things, became in the present +instance, with a significance beyond all power of written expression, +our familiar English 'I believe you!' + +'Haha! You are right! A gentleman I am! And a gentleman I'll live, and +a gentleman I'll die! It's my intent to be a gentleman. It's my game. +Death of my soul, I play it out wherever I go!' + +He changed his posture to a sitting one, crying with a triumphant air: + +'Here I am! See me! Shaken out of destiny's dice-box into the company +of a mere smuggler;--shut up with a poor little contraband trader, whose +papers are wrong, and whom the police lay hold of besides, for placing +his boat (as a means of getting beyond the frontier) at the disposition +of other little people whose papers are wrong; and he instinctively +recognises my position, even by this light and in this place. It's well +done! By Heaven! I win, however the game goes.' + +Again his moustache went up, and his nose came down. + +'What's the hour now?' he asked, with a dry hot pallor upon him, rather +difficult of association with merriment. + +'A little half-hour after mid-day.' + +'Good! The President will have a gentleman before him soon. Come! +Shall I tell you on what accusation? It must be now, or never, for I +shall not return here. Either I shall go free, or I shall go to be made +ready for shaving. You know where they keep the razor.' + +Signor Cavalletto took his cigarette from between his parted lips, and +showed more momentary discomfiture than might have been expected. + +'I am a'--Monsieur Rigaud stood up to say it--'I am a cosmopolitan +gentleman. I own no particular country. My father was Swiss--Canton de +Vaud. My mother was French by blood, English by birth. I myself was born +in Belgium. I am a citizen of the world.' + +His theatrical air, as he stood with one arm on his hip within the folds +of his cloak, together with his manner of disregarding his companion +and addressing the opposite wall instead, seemed to intimate that he +was rehearsing for the President, whose examination he was shortly to +undergo, rather than troubling himself merely to enlighten so small a +person as John Baptist Cavalletto. + +'Call me five-and-thirty years of age. I have seen the world. I have +lived here, and lived there, and lived like a gentleman everywhere. I +have been treated and respected as a gentleman universally. If you try +to prejudice me by making out that I have lived by my wits--how do +your lawyers live--your politicians--your intriguers--your men of the +Exchange?' + +He kept his small smooth hand in constant requisition, as if it were a +witness to his gentility that had often done him good service before. + +'Two years ago I came to Marseilles. I admit that I was poor; I had been +ill. When your lawyers, your politicians, your intriguers, your men of +the Exchange fall ill, and have not scraped money together, _they_ become +poor. I put up at the Cross of Gold,--kept then by Monsieur Henri +Barronneau--sixty-five at least, and in a failing state of health. I had +lived in the house some four months when Monsieur Henri Barronneau had +the misfortune to die;--at any rate, not a rare misfortune, that. It +happens without any aid of mine, pretty often.' + +John Baptist having smoked his cigarette down to his fingers' ends, +Monsieur Rigaud had the magnanimity to throw him another. He lighted the +second at the ashes of the first, and smoked on, looking sideways at his +companion, who, preoccupied with his own case, hardly looked at him. + +'Monsieur Barronneau left a widow. She was two-and-twenty. She had +gained a reputation for beauty, and (which is often another thing) was +beautiful. I continued to live at the Cross of Gold. I married Madame +Barronneau. It is not for me to say whether there was any great +disparity in such a match. Here I stand, with the contamination of a +jail upon me; but it is possible that you may think me better suited to +her than her former husband was.' + +He had a certain air of being a handsome man--which he was not; and +a certain air of being a well-bred man--which he was not. It was mere +swagger and challenge; but in this particular, as in many others, +blustering assertion goes for proof, half over the world. + +'Be it as it may, Madame Barronneau approved of me. _That_ is not to +prejudice me, I hope?' + +His eye happening to light upon John Baptist with this inquiry, that +little man briskly shook his head in the negative, and repeated in an +argumentative tone under his breath, altro, altro, altro, altro--an +infinite number of times. + +'Now came the difficulties of our position. I am proud. I say nothing +in defence of pride, but I am proud. It is also my character to govern. +I can't submit; I must govern. Unfortunately, the property of Madame +Rigaud was settled upon herself. Such was the insane act of her late +husband. More unfortunately still, she had relations. When a wife's +relations interpose against a husband who is a gentleman, who is proud, +and who must govern, the consequences are inimical to peace. There +was yet another source of difference between us. Madame Rigaud was +unfortunately a little vulgar. I sought to improve her manners and +ameliorate her general tone; she (supported in this likewise by her +relations) resented my endeavours. Quarrels began to arise between us; +and, propagated and exaggerated by the slanders of the relations of +Madame Rigaud, to become notorious to the neighbours. It has been said +that I treated Madame Rigaud with cruelty. I may have been seen to slap +her face--nothing more. I have a light hand; and if I have been seen +apparently to correct Madame Rigaud in that manner, I have done it +almost playfully.' + +If the playfulness of Monsieur Rigaud were at all expressed by his smile +at this point, the relations of Madame Rigaud might have said that +they would have much preferred his correcting that unfortunate woman +seriously. + +'I am sensitive and brave. I do not advance it as a merit to be +sensitive and brave, but it is my character. If the male relations of +Madame Rigaud had put themselves forward openly, I should have known how +to deal with them. They knew that, and their machinations were conducted +in secret; consequently, Madame Rigaud and I were brought into frequent +and unfortunate collision. Even when I wanted any little sum of money +for my personal expenses, I could not obtain it without collision--and +I, too, a man whose character it is to govern! One night, Madame Rigaud +and myself were walking amicably--I may say like lovers--on a height +overhanging the sea. An evil star occasioned Madame Rigaud to advert to +her relations; I reasoned with her on that subject, and remonstrated on +the want of duty and devotion manifested in her allowing herself to be +influenced by their jealous animosity towards her husband. Madame Rigaud +retorted; I retorted; Madame Rigaud grew warm; I grew warm, and provoked +her. I admit it. Frankness is a part of my character. At length, Madame +Rigaud, in an access of fury that I must ever deplore, threw herself +upon me with screams of passion (no doubt those that were overheard +at some distance), tore my clothes, tore my hair, lacerated my hands, +trampled and trod the dust, and finally leaped over, dashing herself to +death upon the rocks below. Such is the train of incidents which +malice has perverted into my endeavouring to force from Madame Rigaud +a relinquishment of her rights; and, on her persistence in a refusal to +make the concession I required, struggling with her--assassinating her!' + +He stepped aside to the ledge where the vine leaves yet lay strewn +about, collected two or three, and stood wiping his hands upon them, +with his back to the light. + +'Well,' he demanded after a silence, 'have you nothing to say to all +that?' + +'It's ugly,' returned the little man, who had risen, and was brightening +his knife upon his shoe, as he leaned an arm against the wall. + +'What do you mean?' + +John Baptist polished his knife in silence. + +'Do you mean that I have not represented the case correctly?' + +'Al-tro!' returned John Baptist. The word was an apology now, and stood +for 'Oh, by no means!' + +'What then?' + +'Presidents and tribunals are so prejudiced.' + +'Well,' cried the other, uneasily flinging the end of his cloak over his +shoulder with an oath, 'let them do their worst!' + +'Truly I think they will,' murmured John Baptist to himself, as he bent +his head to put his knife in his sash. + +Nothing more was said on either side, though they both began walking +to and fro, and necessarily crossed at every turn. Monsieur Rigaud +sometimes stopped, as if he were going to put his case in a new light, +or make some irate remonstrance; but Signor Cavalletto continuing to +go slowly to and fro at a grotesque kind of jog-trot pace with his eyes +turned downward, nothing came of these inclinings. + +By-and-by the noise of the key in the lock arrested them both. The sound +of voices succeeded, and the tread of feet. The door clashed, the voices +and the feet came on, and the prison-keeper slowly ascended the stairs, +followed by a guard of soldiers. + +'Now, Monsieur Rigaud,' said he, pausing for a moment at the grate, with +his keys in his hands, 'have the goodness to come out.' + +'I am to depart in state, I see?' + +'Why, unless you did,' returned the jailer, 'you might depart in so many +pieces that it would be difficult to get you together again. There's a +crowd, Monsieur Rigaud, and it doesn't love you.' + +He passed on out of sight, and unlocked and unbarred a low door in the +corner of the chamber. 'Now,' said he, as he opened it and appeared +within, 'come out.' + +There is no sort of whiteness in all the hues under the sun at all like +the whiteness of Monsieur Rigaud's face as it was then. Neither is there +any expression of the human countenance at all like that expression in +every little line of which the frightened heart is seen to beat. Both +are conventionally compared with death; but the difference is the whole +deep gulf between the struggle done, and the fight at its most desperate +extremity. + +He lighted another of his paper cigars at his companion's; put it +tightly between his teeth; covered his head with a soft slouched hat; +threw the end of his cloak over his shoulder again; and walked out into +the side gallery on which the door opened, without taking any further +notice of Signor Cavalletto. As to that little man himself, his whole +attention had become absorbed in getting near the door and looking out +at it. Precisely as a beast might approach the opened gate of his den +and eye the freedom beyond, he passed those few moments in watching and +peering, until the door was closed upon him. + +There was an officer in command of the soldiers; a stout, serviceable, +profoundly calm man, with his drawn sword in his hand, smoking a cigar. +He very briefly directed the placing of Monsieur Rigaud in the midst of +the party, put himself with consummate indifference at their head, gave +the word 'march!' and so they all went jingling down the staircase. The +door clashed--the key turned--and a ray of unusual light, and a breath +of unusual air, seemed to have passed through the jail, vanishing in a +tiny wreath of smoke from the cigar. + +Still, in his captivity, like a lower animal--like some impatient ape, +or roused bear of the smaller species--the prisoner, now left solitary, +had jumped upon the ledge, to lose no glimpse of this departure. As he +yet stood clasping the grate with both hands, an uproar broke upon his +hearing; yells, shrieks, oaths, threats, execrations, all comprehended +in it, though (as in a storm) nothing but a raging swell of sound +distinctly heard. + +Excited into a still greater resemblance to a caged wild animal by his +anxiety to know more, the prisoner leaped nimbly down, ran round the +chamber, leaped nimbly up again, clasped the grate and tried to shake +it, leaped down and ran, leaped up and listened, and never rested until +the noise, becoming more and more distant, had died away. How many +better prisoners have worn their noble hearts out so; no man thinking +of it; not even the beloved of their souls realising it; great kings +and governors, who had made them captive, careering in the sunlight +jauntily, and men cheering them on. Even the said great personages dying +in bed, making exemplary ends and sounding speeches; and polite history, +more servile than their instruments, embalming them! + +At last, John Baptist, now able to choose his own spot within the +compass of those walls for the exercise of his faculty of going to sleep +when he would, lay down upon the bench, with his face turned over on his +crossed arms, and slumbered. In his submission, in his lightness, in his +good humour, in his short-lived passion, in his easy contentment with +hard bread and hard stones, in his ready sleep, in his fits and starts, +altogether a true son of the land that gave him birth. + +The wide stare stared itself out for one while; the Sun went down in +a red, green, golden glory; the stars came out in the heavens, and the +fire-flies mimicked them in the lower air, as men may feebly imitate +the goodness of a better order of beings; the long dusty roads and the +interminable plains were in repose--and so deep a hush was on the sea, +that it scarcely whispered of the time when it shall give up its dead. + + + + +CHAPTER 2 Fellow Travellers + + +'No more of yesterday's howling over yonder to-day, Sir; is there?' + +'I have heard none.' + +'Then you may be sure there _is_ none. When these people howl, they howl +to be heard.' + +'Most people do, I suppose.' + +'Ah! but these people are always howling. Never happy otherwise.' + +'Do you mean the Marseilles people?' + +'I mean the French people. They're always at it. As to Marseilles, we +know what Marseilles is. It sent the most insurrectionary tune into the +world that was ever composed. It couldn't exist without allonging and +marshonging to something or other--victory or death, or blazes, or +something.' + +The speaker, with a whimsical good humour upon him all the time, looked +over the parapet-wall with the greatest disparagement of Marseilles; and +taking up a determined position by putting his hands in his pockets and +rattling his money at it, apostrophised it with a short laugh. + +'Allong and marshong, indeed. It would be more creditable to you, +I think, to let other people allong and marshong about their lawful +business, instead of shutting 'em up in quarantine!' + +'Tiresome enough,' said the other. 'But we shall be out to-day.' + +'Out to-day!' repeated the first. 'It's almost an aggravation of the +enormity, that we shall be out to-day. Out! What have we ever been in +for?' + +'For no very strong reason, I must say. But as we come from the East, +and as the East is the country of the plague--' + +'The plague!' repeated the other. 'That's my grievance. I have had the +plague continually, ever since I have been here. I am like a sane man +shut up in a madhouse; I can't stand the suspicion of the thing. I came +here as well as ever I was in my life; but to suspect me of the plague +is to give me the plague. And I have had it--and I have got it.' + +'You bear it very well, Mr Meagles,' said the second speaker, smiling. + +'No. If you knew the real state of the case, that's the last observation +you would think of making. I have been waking up night after night, and +saying, _now_ I have got it, _now_ it has developed itself, _now_ I am +in for it, _now_ these fellows are making out their case for their +precautions. Why, I'd as soon have a spit put through me, and be stuck +upon a card in a collection of beetles, as lead the life I have been +leading here.' + +'Well, Mr Meagles, say no more about it now it's over,' urged a cheerful +feminine voice. + +'Over!' repeated Mr Meagles, who appeared (though without any +ill-nature) to be in that peculiar state of mind in which the last word +spoken by anybody else is a new injury. 'Over! and why should I say no +more about it because it's over?' + +It was Mrs Meagles who had spoken to Mr Meagles; and Mrs Meagles was, +like Mr Meagles, comely and healthy, with a pleasant English face which +had been looking at homely things for five-and-fifty years or more, and +shone with a bright reflection of them. + +'There! Never mind, Father, never mind!' said Mrs Meagles. 'For goodness +sake content yourself with Pet.' + +'With Pet?' repeated Mr Meagles in his injured vein. Pet, however, +being close behind him, touched him on the shoulder, and Mr Meagles +immediately forgave Marseilles from the bottom of his heart. + +Pet was about twenty. A fair girl with rich brown hair hanging free in +natural ringlets. A lovely girl, with a frank face, and wonderful eyes; +so large, so soft, so bright, set to such perfection in her kind good +head. She was round and fresh and dimpled and spoilt, and there was in +Pet an air of timidity and dependence which was the best weakness in +the world, and gave her the only crowning charm a girl so pretty and +pleasant could have been without. + +'Now, I ask you,' said Mr Meagles in the blandest confidence, falling +back a step himself, and handing his daughter a step forward to +illustrate his question: 'I ask you simply, as between man and man, +you know, DID you ever hear of such damned nonsense as putting Pet in +quarantine?' + +'It has had the result of making even quarantine enjoyable.' + +'Come!' said Mr Meagles, 'that's something to be sure. I am obliged to +you for that remark. Now, Pet, my darling, you had better go along with +Mother and get ready for the boat. The officer of health, and a variety +of humbugs in cocked hats, are coming off to let us out of this at last: +and all we jail-birds are to breakfast together in something approaching +to a Christian style again, before we take wing for our different +destinations. Tattycoram, stick you close to your young mistress.' + +He spoke to a handsome girl with lustrous dark hair and eyes, and very +neatly dressed, who replied with a half curtsey as she passed off in the +train of Mrs Meagles and Pet. They crossed the bare scorched terrace +all three together, and disappeared through a staring white archway. +Mr Meagles's companion, a grave dark man of forty, still stood looking +towards this archway after they were gone; until Mr Meagles tapped him +on the arm. + +'I beg your pardon,' said he, starting. + +'Not at all,' said Mr Meagles. + +They took one silent turn backward and forward in the shade of the wall, +getting, at the height on which the quarantine barracks are placed, what +cool refreshment of sea breeze there was at seven in the morning. Mr +Meagles's companion resumed the conversation. + +'May I ask you,' he said, 'what is the name of--' + +'Tattycoram?' Mr Meagles struck in. 'I have not the least idea.' + +'I thought,' said the other, 'that--' + +'Tattycoram?' suggested Mr Meagles again. + +'Thank you--that Tattycoram was a name; and I have several times +wondered at the oddity of it.' + +'Why, the fact is,' said Mr Meagles, 'Mrs Meagles and myself are, you +see, practical people.' + +'That you have frequently mentioned in the course of the agreeable and +interesting conversations we have had together, walking up and down on +these stones,' said the other, with a half smile breaking through the +gravity of his dark face. + +'Practical people. So one day, five or six years ago now, when we took +Pet to church at the Foundling--you have heard of the Foundling Hospital +in London? Similar to the Institution for the Found Children in Paris?' + +'I have seen it.' + +'Well! One day when we took Pet to church there to hear the +music--because, as practical people, it is the business of our lives to +show her everything that we think can please her--Mother (my usual name +for Mrs Meagles) began to cry so, that it was necessary to take her out. +"What's the matter, Mother?" said I, when we had brought her a little +round: "you are frightening Pet, my dear." "Yes, I know that, Father," +says Mother, "but I think it's through my loving her so much, that it +ever came into my head." "That ever what came into your head, Mother?" +"O dear, dear!" cried Mother, breaking out again, "when I saw all those +children ranged tier above tier, and appealing from the father none of +them has ever known on earth, to the great Father of us all in Heaven, +I thought, does any wretched mother ever come here, and look among those +young faces, wondering which is the poor child she brought into this +forlorn world, never through all its life to know her love, her kiss, +her face, her voice, even her name!" Now that was practical in Mother, +and I told her so. I said, "Mother, that's what I call practical in you, +my dear."' + +The other, not unmoved, assented. + +'So I said next day: Now, Mother, I have a proposition to make that I +think you'll approve of. Let us take one of those same little children +to be a little maid to Pet. We are practical people. So if we should +find her temper a little defective, or any of her ways a little wide +of ours, we shall know what we have to take into account. We shall +know what an immense deduction must be made from all the influences and +experiences that have formed us--no parents, no child-brother or sister, +no individuality of home, no Glass Slipper, or Fairy Godmother. And +that's the way we came by Tattycoram.' + +'And the name itself--' + +'By George!' said Mr Meagles, 'I was forgetting the name itself. Why, +she was called in the Institution, Harriet Beadle--an arbitrary name, +of course. Now, Harriet we changed into Hattey, and then into Tatty, +because, as practical people, we thought even a playful name might be +a new thing to her, and might have a softening and affectionate kind of +effect, don't you see? As to Beadle, that I needn't say was wholly out +of the question. If there is anything that is not to be tolerated on +any terms, anything that is a type of Jack-in-office insolence and +absurdity, anything that represents in coats, waistcoats, and big sticks +our English holding on by nonsense after every one has found it out, it +is a beadle. You haven't seen a beadle lately?' + +'As an Englishman who has been more than twenty years in China, no.' + +'Then,' said Mr Meagles, laying his forefinger on his companion's breast +with great animation, 'don't you see a beadle, now, if you can help it. +Whenever I see a beadle in full fig, coming down a street on a Sunday +at the head of a charity school, I am obliged to turn and run away, or +I should hit him. The name of Beadle being out of the question, and the +originator of the Institution for these poor foundlings having been a +blessed creature of the name of Coram, we gave that name to Pet's little +maid. At one time she was Tatty, and at one time she was Coram, until we +got into a way of mixing the two names together, and now she is always +Tattycoram.' + +'Your daughter,' said the other, when they had taken another silent turn +to and fro, and, after standing for a moment at the wall glancing down +at the sea, had resumed their walk, 'is your only child, I know, Mr +Meagles. May I ask you--in no impertinent curiosity, but because I have +had so much pleasure in your society, may never in this labyrinth of +a world exchange a quiet word with you again, and wish to preserve an +accurate remembrance of you and yours--may I ask you, if I have not +gathered from your good wife that you have had other children?' + +'No. No,' said Mr Meagles. 'Not exactly other children. One other +child.' + +'I am afraid I have inadvertently touched upon a tender theme.' + +'Never mind,' said Mr Meagles. 'If I am grave about it, I am not at all +sorrowful. It quiets me for a moment, but does not make me unhappy. Pet +had a twin sister who died when we could just see her eyes--exactly like +Pet's--above the table, as she stood on tiptoe holding by it.' + +'Ah! indeed, indeed!' + +'Yes, and being practical people, a result has gradually sprung up in +the minds of Mrs Meagles and myself which perhaps you may--or perhaps +you may not--understand. Pet and her baby sister were so exactly alike, +and so completely one, that in our thoughts we have never been able +to separate them since. It would be of no use to tell us that our dead +child was a mere infant. We have changed that child according to the +changes in the child spared to us and always with us. As Pet has grown, +that child has grown; as Pet has become more sensible and womanly, her +sister has become more sensible and womanly by just the same degrees. +It would be as hard to convince me that if I was to pass into the other +world to-morrow, I should not, through the mercy of God, be received +there by a daughter, just like Pet, as to persuade me that Pet herself +is not a reality at my side.' + +'I understand you,' said the other, gently. + +'As to her,' pursued her father, 'the sudden loss of her little picture +and playfellow, and her early association with that mystery in which we +all have our equal share, but which is not often so forcibly presented +to a child, has necessarily had some influence on her character. Then, +her mother and I were not young when we married, and Pet has always had +a sort of grown-up life with us, though we have tried to adapt ourselves +to her. We have been advised more than once when she has been a +little ailing, to change climate and air for her as often as we +could--especially at about this time of her life--and to keep her +amused. So, as I have no need to stick at a bank-desk now (though I have +been poor enough in my time I assure you, or I should have married Mrs +Meagles long before), we go trotting about the world. This is how you +found us staring at the Nile, and the Pyramids, and the Sphinxes, and +the Desert, and all the rest of it; and this is how Tattycoram will be a +greater traveller in course of time than Captain Cook.' + +'I thank you,' said the other, 'very heartily for your confidence.' + +'Don't mention it,' returned Mr Meagles, 'I am sure you are quite +welcome. And now, Mr Clennam, perhaps I may ask you whether you have yet +come to a decision where to go next?' + +'Indeed, no. I am such a waif and stray everywhere, that I am liable to +be drifted where any current may set.' + +'It's extraordinary to me--if you'll excuse my freedom in saying +so--that you don't go straight to London,' said Mr Meagles, in the tone +of a confidential adviser. + +'Perhaps I shall.' + +'Ay! But I mean with a will.' + +'I have no will. That is to say,'--he coloured a little,--'next to none +that I can put in action now. Trained by main force; broken, not bent; +heavily ironed with an object on which I was never consulted and which +was never mine; shipped away to the other end of the world before I +was of age, and exiled there until my father's death there, a year ago; +always grinding in a mill I always hated; what is to be expected from me +in middle life? Will, purpose, hope? All those lights were extinguished +before I could sound the words.' + +'Light 'em up again!' said Mr Meagles. + +'Ah! Easily said. I am the son, Mr Meagles, of a hard father and +mother. I am the only child of parents who weighed, measured, and priced +everything; for whom what could not be weighed, measured, and priced, +had no existence. Strict people as the phrase is, professors of a stern +religion, their very religion was a gloomy sacrifice of tastes and +sympathies that were never their own, offered up as a part of a bargain +for the security of their possessions. Austere faces, inexorable +discipline, penance in this world and terror in the next--nothing +graceful or gentle anywhere, and the void in my cowed heart +everywhere--this was my childhood, if I may so misuse the word as to +apply it to such a beginning of life.' + +'Really though?' said Mr Meagles, made very uncomfortable by the picture +offered to his imagination. 'That was a tough commencement. But come! +You must now study, and profit by, all that lies beyond it, like a +practical man.' + +'If the people who are usually called practical, were practical in your +direction--' + +'Why, so they are!' said Mr Meagles. + +'Are they indeed?' + +'Well, I suppose so,' returned Mr Meagles, thinking about it. 'Eh? One +can but _be_ practical, and Mrs Meagles and myself are nothing else.' + +'My unknown course is easier and more helpful than I had expected to +find it, then,' said Clennam, shaking his head with his grave smile. +'Enough of me. Here is the boat.' + +The boat was filled with the cocked hats to which Mr Meagles entertained +a national objection; and the wearers of those cocked hats landed +and came up the steps, and all the impounded travellers congregated +together. There was then a mighty production of papers on the part of +the cocked hats, and a calling over of names, and great work of signing, +sealing, stamping, inking, and sanding, with exceedingly blurred, +gritty, and undecipherable results. Finally, everything was done +according to rule, and the travellers were at liberty to depart +whithersoever they would. + +They made little account of stare and glare, in the new pleasure of +recovering their freedom, but flitted across the harbour in gay boats, +and reassembled at a great hotel, whence the sun was excluded by closed +lattices, and where bare paved floors, lofty ceilings, and resounding +corridors tempered the intense heat. There, a great table in a great +room was soon profusely covered with a superb repast; and the quarantine +quarters became bare indeed, remembered among dainty dishes, southern +fruits, cooled wines, flowers from Genoa, snow from the mountain tops, +and all the colours of the rainbow flashing in the mirrors. + +'But I bear those monotonous walls no ill-will now,' said Mr Meagles. +'One always begins to forgive a place as soon as it's left behind; I +dare say a prisoner begins to relent towards his prison, after he is let +out.' + +They were about thirty in company, and all talking; but necessarily in +groups. Father and Mother Meagles sat with their daughter between them, +the last three on one side of the table: on the opposite side sat Mr +Clennam; a tall French gentleman with raven hair and beard, of a swart +and terrible, not to say genteelly diabolical aspect, but who had +shown himself the mildest of men; and a handsome young Englishwoman, +travelling quite alone, who had a proud observant face, and had either +withdrawn herself from the rest or been avoided by the rest--nobody, +herself excepted perhaps, could have quite decided which. The rest +of the party were of the usual materials: travellers on business, and +travellers for pleasure; officers from India on leave; merchants in +the Greek and Turkey trades; a clerical English husband in a meek +strait-waistcoat, on a wedding trip with his young wife; a majestic +English mama and papa, of the patrician order, with a family of three +growing-up daughters, who were keeping a journal for the confusion of +their fellow-creatures; and a deaf old English mother, tough in travel, +with a very decidedly grown-up daughter indeed, which daughter went +sketching about the universe in the expectation of ultimately toning +herself off into the married state. + +The reserved Englishwoman took up Mr Meagles in his last remark. + +'Do you mean that a prisoner forgives his prison?' said she, slowly and +with emphasis. + + +'That was my speculation, Miss Wade. I don't pretend to know positively +how a prisoner might feel. I never was one before.' + +'Mademoiselle doubts,' said the French gentleman in his own language, +'it's being so easy to forgive?' + +'I do.' + +Pet had to translate this passage to Mr Meagles, who never by any +accident acquired any knowledge whatever of the language of any country +into which he travelled. 'Oh!' said he. 'Dear me! But that's a pity, +isn't it?' + +'That I am not credulous?' said Miss Wade. + +'Not exactly that. Put it another way. That you can't believe it easy to +forgive.' + +'My experience,' she quietly returned, 'has been correcting my belief +in many respects, for some years. It is our natural progress, I have +heard.' + +'Well, well! But it's not natural to bear malice, I hope?' said Mr +Meagles, cheerily. + +'If I had been shut up in any place to pine and suffer, I should always +hate that place and wish to burn it down, or raze it to the ground. I +know no more.' + +'Strong, sir?' said Mr Meagles to the Frenchman; it being another of his +habits to address individuals of all nations in idiomatic English, with +a perfect conviction that they were bound to understand it somehow. +'Rather forcible in our fair friend, you'll agree with me, I think?' + +The French gentleman courteously replied, 'Plait-il?' To which Mr +Meagles returned with much satisfaction, 'You are right. My opinion.' + +The breakfast beginning by-and-by to languish, Mr Meagles made the +company a speech. It was short enough and sensible enough, considering +that it was a speech at all, and hearty. It merely went to the effect +that as they had all been thrown together by chance, and had all +preserved a good understanding together, and were now about to disperse, +and were not likely ever to find themselves all together again, what +could they do better than bid farewell to one another, and give one +another good-speed in a simultaneous glass of cool champagne all round +the table? It was done, and with a general shaking of hands the assembly +broke up for ever. + +The solitary young lady all this time had said no more. She rose with +the rest, and silently withdrew to a remote corner of the great room, +where she sat herself on a couch in a window, seeming to watch the +reflection of the water as it made a silver quivering on the bars of the +lattice. She sat, turned away from the whole length of the apartment, as +if she were lonely of her own haughty choice. And yet it would have been +as difficult as ever to say, positively, whether she avoided the rest, +or was avoided. + +The shadow in which she sat, falling like a gloomy veil across her +forehead, accorded very well with the character of her beauty. One could +hardly see the face, so still and scornful, set off by the arched +dark eyebrows, and the folds of dark hair, without wondering what its +expression would be if a change came over it. That it could soften or +relent, appeared next to impossible. That it could deepen into anger or +any extreme of defiance, and that it must change in that direction when +it changed at all, would have been its peculiar impression upon most +observers. It was dressed and trimmed into no ceremony of expression. +Although not an open face, there was no pretence in it. 'I am +self-contained and self-reliant; your opinion is nothing to me; I have +no interest in you, care nothing for you, and see and hear you with +indifference'--this it said plainly. It said so in the proud eyes, in +the lifted nostril, in the handsome but compressed and even cruel mouth. +Cover either two of those channels of expression, and the third would +have said so still. Mask them all, and the mere turn of the head would +have shown an unsubduable nature. + +Pet had moved up to her (she had been the subject of remark among her +family and Mr Clennam, who were now the only other occupants of the +room), and was standing at her side. + +'Are you'--she turned her eyes, and Pet faltered--'expecting any one to +meet you here, Miss Wade?' + +'I? No.' + +'Father is sending to the Poste Restante. Shall he have the pleasure of +directing the messenger to ask if there are any letters for you?' + +'I thank him, but I know there can be none.' + +'We are afraid,' said Pet, sitting down beside her, shyly and half +tenderly, 'that you will feel quite deserted when we are all gone.' + +'Indeed!' + +'Not,' said Pet, apologetically and embarrassed by her eyes, 'not, of +course, that we are any company to you, or that we have been able to be +so, or that we thought you wished it.' + +'I have not intended to make it understood that I did wish it.' + +'No. Of course. But--in short,' said Pet, timidly touching her hand as +it lay impassive on the sofa between them, 'will you not allow Father to +tender you any slight assistance or service? He will be very glad.' + +'Very glad,' said Mr Meagles, coming forward with his wife and Clennam. +'Anything short of speaking the language, I shall be delighted to +undertake, I am sure.' + +'I am obliged to you,' she returned, 'but my arrangements are made, and +I prefer to go my own way in my own manner.' + +'_Do_ you?' said Mr Meagles to himself, as he surveyed her with a puzzled +look. 'Well! There's character in that, too.' + +'I am not much used to the society of young ladies, and I am afraid I +may not show my appreciation of it as others might. A pleasant journey +to you. Good-bye!' + +She would not have put out her hand, it seemed, but that Mr Meagles put +out his so straight before her that she could not pass it. She put hers +in it, and it lay there just as it had lain upon the couch. + +'Good-bye!' said Mr Meagles. 'This is the last good-bye upon the list, +for Mother and I have just said it to Mr Clennam here, and he only waits +to say it to Pet. Good-bye! We may never meet again.' + +'In our course through life we shall meet the people who are coming to +meet _us_, from many strange places and by many strange roads,' was the +composed reply; 'and what it is set to us to do to them, and what it is +set to them to do to us, will all be done.' + +There was something in the manner of these words that jarred upon Pet's +ear. It implied that what was to be done was necessarily evil, and it +caused her to say in a whisper, 'O Father!' and to shrink childishly, in +her spoilt way, a little closer to him. This was not lost on the +speaker. + +'Your pretty daughter,' she said, 'starts to think of such things. Yet,' +looking full upon her, 'you may be sure that there are men and women +already on their road, who have their business to do with _you_, and who +will do it. Of a certainty they will do it. They may be coming hundreds, +thousands, of miles over the sea there; they may be close at hand now; +they may be coming, for anything you know or anything you can do to +prevent it, from the vilest sweepings of this very town.' + +With the coldest of farewells, and with a certain worn expression on her +beauty that gave it, though scarcely yet in its prime, a wasted look, +she left the room. + +Now, there were many stairs and passages that she had to traverse in +passing from that part of the spacious house to the chamber she had +secured for her own occupation. When she had almost completed the +journey, and was passing along the gallery in which her room was, she +heard an angry sound of muttering and sobbing. A door stood open, and +within she saw the attendant upon the girl she had just left; the maid +with the curious name. + +She stood still, to look at this maid. A sullen, passionate girl! Her +rich black hair was all about her face, her face was flushed and hot, +and as she sobbed and raged, she plucked at her lips with an unsparing +hand. + +'Selfish brutes!' said the girl, sobbing and heaving between whiles. +'Not caring what becomes of me! Leaving me here hungry and thirsty and +tired, to starve, for anything they care! Beasts! Devils! Wretches!' + +'My poor girl, what is the matter?' + +She looked up suddenly, with reddened eyes, and with her hands +suspended, in the act of pinching her neck, freshly disfigured with +great scarlet blots. 'It's nothing to you what's the matter. It don't +signify to any one.' + +'O yes it does; I am sorry to see you so.' + +'You are not sorry,' said the girl. 'You are glad. You know you are +glad. I never was like this but twice over in the quarantine yonder; and +both times you found me. I am afraid of you.' + +'Afraid of me?' + +'Yes. You seem to come like my own anger, my own malice, my +own--whatever it is--I don't know what it is. But I am ill-used, I am +ill-used, I am ill-used!' Here the sobs and the tears, and the tearing +hand, which had all been suspended together since the first surprise, +went on together anew. + +The visitor stood looking at her with a strange attentive smile. It was +wonderful to see the fury of the contest in the girl, and the bodily +struggle she made as if she were rent by the Demons of old. + +'I am younger than she is by two or three years, and yet it's me that +looks after her, as if I was old, and it's she that's always petted and +called Baby! I detest the name. I hate her! They make a fool of her, +they spoil her. She thinks of nothing but herself, she thinks no more of +me than if I was a stock and a stone!' So the girl went on. + +'You must have patience.' + +'I _won't_ have patience!' + +'If they take much care of themselves, and little or none of you, you +must not mind it.' + +I _will_ mind it.' + +'Hush! Be more prudent. You forget your dependent position.' + +'I don't care for that. I'll run away. I'll do some mischief. I won't +bear it; I can't bear it; I shall die if I try to bear it!' + +The observer stood with her hand upon her own bosom, looking at the +girl, as one afflicted with a diseased part might curiously watch the +dissection and exposition of an analogous case. + +The girl raged and battled with all the force of her youth and fulness +of life, until by little and little her passionate exclamations trailed +off into broken murmurs as if she were in pain. By corresponding degrees +she sank into a chair, then upon her knees, then upon the ground beside +the bed, drawing the coverlet with her, half to hide her shamed head and +wet hair in it, and half, as it seemed, to embrace it, rather than have +nothing to take to her repentant breast. + +'Go away from me, go away from me! When my temper comes upon me, I +am mad. I know I might keep it off if I only tried hard enough, and +sometimes I do try hard enough, and at other times I don't and won't. +What have I said! I knew when I said it, it was all lies. They think I +am being taken care of somewhere, and have all I want. They are nothing +but good to me. I love them dearly; no people could ever be kinder to a +thankless creature than they always are to me. Do, do go away, for I am +afraid of you. I am afraid of myself when I feel my temper coming, and I +am as much afraid of you. Go away from me, and let me pray and cry +myself better!' + +The day passed on; and again the wide stare stared itself out; and the +hot night was on Marseilles; and through it the caravan of the morning, +all dispersed, went their appointed ways. And thus ever by day and +night, under the sun and under the stars, climbing the dusty hills and +toiling along the weary plains, journeying by land and journeying by +sea, coming and going so strangely, to meet and to act and react on one +another, move all we restless travellers through the pilgrimage of life. + + + + +CHAPTER 3. Home + + +It was a Sunday evening in London, gloomy, close, and stale. Maddening +church bells of all degrees of dissonance, sharp and flat, cracked +and clear, fast and slow, made the brick-and-mortar echoes hideous. +Melancholy streets, in a penitential garb of soot, steeped the souls of +the people who were condemned to look at them out of windows, in dire +despondency. In every thoroughfare, up almost every alley, and down +almost every turning, some doleful bell was throbbing, jerking, tolling, +as if the Plague were in the city and the dead-carts were going round. +Everything was bolted and barred that could by possibility furnish +relief to an overworked people. No pictures, no unfamiliar animals, no +rare plants or flowers, no natural or artificial wonders of the ancient +world--all _taboo_ with that enlightened strictness, that the ugly South +Sea gods in the British Museum might have supposed themselves at home +again. Nothing to see but streets, streets, streets. Nothing to breathe +but streets, streets, streets. Nothing to change the brooding mind, +or raise it up. Nothing for the spent toiler to do, but to compare the +monotony of his seventh day with the monotony of his six days, think +what a weary life he led, and make the best of it--or the worst, +according to the probabilities. + +At such a happy time, so propitious to the interests of religion and +morality, Mr Arthur Clennam, newly arrived from Marseilles by way of +Dover, and by Dover coach the Blue-eyed Maid, sat in the window of a +coffee-house on Ludgate Hill. Ten thousand responsible houses surrounded +him, frowning as heavily on the streets they composed, as if they were +every one inhabited by the ten young men of the Calender's story, who +blackened their faces and bemoaned their miseries every night. Fifty +thousand lairs surrounded him where people lived so unwholesomely that +fair water put into their crowded rooms on Saturday night, would be +corrupt on Sunday morning; albeit my lord, their county member, was +amazed that they failed to sleep in company with their butcher's meat. +Miles of close wells and pits of houses, where the inhabitants gasped +for air, stretched far away towards every point of the compass. Through +the heart of the town a deadly sewer ebbed and flowed, in the place of +a fine fresh river. What secular want could the million or so of +human beings whose daily labour, six days in the week, lay among these +Arcadian objects, from the sweet sameness of which they had no escape +between the cradle and the grave--what secular want could they possibly +have upon their seventh day? Clearly they could want nothing but a +stringent policeman. + +Mr Arthur Clennam sat in the window of the coffee-house on Ludgate Hill, +counting one of the neighbouring bells, making sentences and burdens of +songs out of it in spite of himself, and wondering how many sick +people it might be the death of in the course of the year. As the hour +approached, its changes of measure made it more and more exasperating. +At the quarter, it went off into a condition of deadly-lively +importunity, urging the populace in a voluble manner to Come to church, +Come to church, Come to church! At the ten minutes, it became aware +that the congregation would be scanty, and slowly hammered out in low +spirits, They _won't_ come, they _won't_ come, they _won't_ come! At the +five minutes, it abandoned hope, and shook every house in the +neighbourhood for three hundred seconds, with one dismal swing per +second, as a groan of despair. + +'Thank Heaven!' said Clennam, when the hour struck, and the bell +stopped. + +But its sound had revived a long train of miserable Sundays, and the +procession would not stop with the bell, but continued to march on. +'Heaven forgive me,' said he, 'and those who trained me. How I have +hated this day!' + +There was the dreary Sunday of his childhood, when he sat with his hands +before him, scared out of his senses by a horrible tract which commenced +business with the poor child by asking him in its title, why he was +going to Perdition?--a piece of curiosity that he really, in a frock and +drawers, was not in a condition to satisfy--and which, for the further +attraction of his infant mind, had a parenthesis in every other line +with some such hiccupping reference as 2 Ep. Thess. c. iii, v. 6 & +7. There was the sleepy Sunday of his boyhood, when, like a military +deserter, he was marched to chapel by a picquet of teachers three times +a day, morally handcuffed to another boy; and when he would willingly +have bartered two meals of indigestible sermon for another ounce or +two of inferior mutton at his scanty dinner in the flesh. There was the +interminable Sunday of his nonage; when his mother, stern of face and +unrelenting of heart, would sit all day behind a Bible--bound, like her +own construction of it, in the hardest, barest, and straitest boards, +with one dinted ornament on the cover like the drag of a chain, and a +wrathful sprinkling of red upon the edges of the leaves--as if it, of +all books! were a fortification against sweetness of temper, natural +affection, and gentle intercourse. There was the resentful Sunday of a +little later, when he sat down glowering and glooming through the tardy +length of the day, with a sullen sense of injury in his heart, and no +more real knowledge of the beneficent history of the New Testament than +if he had been bred among idolaters. There was a legion of Sundays, +all days of unserviceable bitterness and mortification, slowly passing +before him. + +'Beg pardon, sir,' said a brisk waiter, rubbing the table. 'Wish see +bed-room?' + +'Yes. I have just made up my mind to do it.' + +'Chaymaid!' cried the waiter. 'Gelen box num seven wish see room!' + +'Stay!' said Clennam, rousing himself. 'I was not thinking of what I +said; I answered mechanically. I am not going to sleep here. I am going +home.' + +'Deed, sir? Chaymaid! Gelen box num seven, not go sleep here, gome.' + +He sat in the same place as the day died, looking at the dull houses +opposite, and thinking, if the disembodied spirits of former inhabitants +were ever conscious of them, how they must pity themselves for their old +places of imprisonment. Sometimes a face would appear behind the dingy +glass of a window, and would fade away into the gloom as if it had seen +enough of life and had vanished out of it. Presently the rain began to +fall in slanting lines between him and those houses, and people began +to collect under cover of the public passage opposite, and to look out +hopelessly at the sky as the rain dropped thicker and faster. Then wet +umbrellas began to appear, draggled skirts, and mud. What the mud had +been doing with itself, or where it came from, who could say? But it +seemed to collect in a moment, as a crowd will, and in five minutes to +have splashed all the sons and daughters of Adam. The lamplighter was +going his rounds now; and as the fiery jets sprang up under his touch, +one might have fancied them astonished at being suffered to introduce +any show of brightness into such a dismal scene. + +Mr Arthur Clennam took up his hat and buttoned his coat, and walked out. +In the country, the rain would have developed a thousand fresh scents, +and every drop would have had its bright association with some beautiful +form of growth or life. In the city, it developed only foul stale +smells, and was a sickly, lukewarm, dirt-stained, wretched addition to +the gutters. + +He crossed by St Paul's and went down, at a long angle, almost to the +water's edge, through some of the crooked and descending streets which +lie (and lay more crookedly and closely then) between the river and +Cheapside. Passing, now the mouldy hall of some obsolete Worshipful +Company, now the illuminated windows of a Congregationless Church that +seemed to be waiting for some adventurous Belzoni to dig it out and +discover its history; passing silent warehouses and wharves, and here +and there a narrow alley leading to the river, where a wretched little +bill, FOUND DROWNED, was weeping on the wet wall; he came at last to the +house he sought. An old brick house, so dingy as to be all but black, +standing by itself within a gateway. Before it, a square court-yard +where a shrub or two and a patch of grass were as rank (which is saying +much) as the iron railings enclosing them were rusty; behind it, +a jumble of roots. It was a double house, with long, narrow, +heavily-framed windows. Many years ago, it had had it in its mind to +slide down sideways; it had been propped up, however, and was leaning on +some half-dozen gigantic crutches: which gymnasium for the neighbouring +cats, weather-stained, smoke-blackened, and overgrown with weeds, +appeared in these latter days to be no very sure reliance. + +'Nothing changed,' said the traveller, stopping to look round. 'Dark and +miserable as ever. A light in my mother's window, which seems never to +have been extinguished since I came home twice a year from school, and +dragged my box over this pavement. Well, well, well!' + +He went up to the door, which had a projecting canopy in carved work +of festooned jack-towels and children's heads with water on the brain, +designed after a once-popular monumental pattern, and knocked. A +shuffling step was soon heard on the stone floor of the hall, and the +door was opened by an old man, bent and dried, but with keen eyes. + +He had a candle in his hand, and he held it up for a moment to assist +his keen eyes. 'Ah, Mr Arthur?' he said, without any emotion, 'you are +come at last? Step in.' + +Mr Arthur stepped in and shut the door. + +'Your figure is filled out, and set,' said the old man, turning to look +at him with the light raised again, and shaking his head; 'but you don't +come up to your father in my opinion. Nor yet your mother.' + +'How is my mother?' + +'She is as she always is now. Keeps her room when not actually +bedridden, and hasn't been out of it fifteen times in as many years, +Arthur.' They had walked into a spare, meagre dining-room. The old man +had put the candlestick upon the table, and, supporting his right elbow +with his left hand, was smoothing his leathern jaws while he looked at +the visitor. The visitor offered his hand. The old man took it coldly +enough, and seemed to prefer his jaws, to which he returned as soon as +he could. + +'I doubt if your mother will approve of your coming home on the Sabbath, +Arthur,' he said, shaking his head warily. + +'You wouldn't have me go away again?' + +'Oh! I? I? I am not the master. It's not what _I_ would have. I have +stood between your father and mother for a number of years. I don't +pretend to stand between your mother and you.' + +'Will you tell her that I have come home?' + +'Yes, Arthur, yes. Oh, to be sure! I'll tell her that you have come +home. Please to wait here. You won't find the room changed.' He took +another candle from a cupboard, lighted it, left the first on the table, +and went upon his errand. He was a short, bald old man, in a +high-shouldered black coat and waistcoat, drab breeches, and long drab +gaiters. He might, from his dress, have been either clerk or servant, +and in fact had long been both. There was nothing about him in the way +of decoration but a watch, which was lowered into the depths of its +proper pocket by an old black ribbon, and had a tarnished copper key +moored above it, to show where it was sunk. His head was awry, and +he had a one-sided, crab-like way with him, as if his foundations had +yielded at about the same time as those of the house, and he ought to +have been propped up in a similar manner. + +'How weak am I,' said Arthur Clennam, when he was gone, 'that I could +shed tears at this reception! I, who have never experienced anything +else; who have never expected anything else.' + +He not only could, but did. It was the momentary yielding of a nature +that had been disappointed from the dawn of its perceptions, but had not +quite given up all its hopeful yearnings yet. He subdued it, took up the +candle, and examined the room. The old articles of furniture were in +their old places; the Plagues of Egypt, much the dimmer for the fly and +smoke plagues of London, were framed and glazed upon the walls. There +was the old cellaret with nothing in it, lined with lead, like a sort of +coffin in compartments; there was the old dark closet, also with nothing +in it, of which he had been many a time the sole contents, in days of +punishment, when he had regarded it as the veritable entrance to that +bourne to which the tract had found him galloping. There was the large, +hard-featured clock on the sideboard, which he used to see bending its +figured brows upon him with a savage joy when he was behind-hand with +his lessons, and which, when it was wound up once a week with an iron +handle, used to sound as if it were growling in ferocious anticipation +of the miseries into which it would bring him. But here was the old man +come back, saying, 'Arthur, I'll go before and light you.' + +Arthur followed him up the staircase, which was panelled off into spaces +like so many mourning tablets, into a dim bed-chamber, the floor of +which had gradually so sunk and settled, that the fire-place was in a +dell. On a black bier-like sofa in this hollow, propped up behind with +one great angular black bolster like the block at a state execution in +the good old times, sat his mother in a widow's dress. + +She and his father had been at variance from his earliest remembrance. +To sit speechless himself in the midst of rigid silence, glancing in +dread from the one averted face to the other, had been the peacefullest +occupation of his childhood. She gave him one glassy kiss, and four +stiff fingers muffled in worsted. This embrace concluded, he sat down on +the opposite side of her little table. There was a fire in the grate, +as there had been night and day for fifteen years. There was a kettle on +the hob, as there had been night and day for fifteen years. There was a +little mound of damped ashes on the top of the fire, and another little +mound swept together under the grate, as there had been night and day +for fifteen years. There was a smell of black dye in the airless room, +which the fire had been drawing out of the crape and stuff of the +widow's dress for fifteen months, and out of the bier-like sofa for +fifteen years. + +'Mother, this is a change from your old active habits.' + +'The world has narrowed to these dimensions, Arthur,' she replied, +glancing round the room. 'It is well for me that I never set my heart +upon its hollow vanities.' + +The old influence of her presence and her stern strong voice, so +gathered about her son, that he felt conscious of a renewal of the timid +chill and reserve of his childhood. + +'Do you never leave your room, mother?' + +'What with my rheumatic affection, and what with its attendant debility +or nervous weakness--names are of no matter now--I have lost the use +of my limbs. I never leave my room. I have not been outside this door +for--tell him for how long,' she said, speaking over her shoulder. + +'A dozen year next Christmas,' returned a cracked voice out of the +dimness behind. + +'Is that Affery?' said Arthur, looking towards it. + +The cracked voice replied that it was Affery: and an old woman came +forward into what doubtful light there was, and kissed her hand once; +then subsided again into the dimness. + +'I am able,' said Mrs Clennam, with a slight motion of her +worsted-muffled right hand toward a chair on wheels, standing before a +tall writing cabinet close shut up, 'I am able to attend to my business +duties, and I am thankful for the privilege. It is a great privilege. +But no more of business on this day. It is a bad night, is it not?' + +'Yes, mother.' + +'Does it snow?' + +'Snow, mother? And we only yet in September?' + +'All seasons are alike to me,' she returned, with a grim kind of +luxuriousness. 'I know nothing of summer and winter, shut up here. +The Lord has been pleased to put me beyond all that.' With her cold grey +eyes and her cold grey hair, and her immovable face, as stiff as the +folds of her stony head-dress,--her being beyond the reach of the +seasons seemed but a fit sequence to her being beyond the reach of all +changing emotions. + +On her little table lay two or three books, her handkerchief, a pair of +steel spectacles newly taken off, and an old-fashioned gold watch in a +heavy double case. Upon this last object her son's eyes and her own now +rested together. + +'I see that you received the packet I sent you on my father's death, +safely, mother.' + +'You see.' + +'I never knew my father to show so much anxiety on any subject, as that +his watch should be sent straight to you.' + +'I keep it here as a remembrance of your father.' + +'It was not until the last, that he expressed the wish; when he could +only put his hand upon it, and very indistinctly say to me "your +mother." A moment before, I thought him wandering in his mind, as he +had been for many hours--I think he had no consciousness of pain in his +short illness--when I saw him turn himself in his bed and try to open +it.' + +'Was your father, then, not wandering in his mind when he tried to open +it?' + +'No. He was quite sensible at that time.' + +Mrs Clennam shook her head; whether in dismissal of the deceased or +opposing herself to her son's opinion, was not clearly expressed. + +'After my father's death I opened it myself, thinking there might be, +for anything I knew, some memorandum there. However, as I need not tell +you, mother, there was nothing but the old silk watch-paper worked in +beads, which you found (no doubt) in its place between the cases, where +I found and left it.' + +Mrs Clennam signified assent; then added, 'No more of business on this +day,' and then added, 'Affery, it is nine o'clock.' + +Upon this, the old woman cleared the little table, went out of the room, +and quickly returned with a tray on which was a dish of little rusks and +a small precise pat of butter, cool, symmetrical, white, and plump. The +old man who had been standing by the door in one attitude during the +whole interview, looking at the mother up-stairs as he had looked at the +son down-stairs, went out at the same time, and, after a longer absence, +returned with another tray on which was the greater part of a bottle +of port wine (which, to judge by his panting, he had brought from the +cellar), a lemon, a sugar-basin, and a spice box. With these materials +and the aid of the kettle, he filled a tumbler with a hot and +odorous mixture, measured out and compounded with as much nicety as a +physician's prescription. Into this mixture Mrs Clennam dipped certain +of the rusks, and ate them; while the old woman buttered certain other +of the rusks, which were to be eaten alone. When the invalid had eaten +all the rusks and drunk all the mixture, the two trays were removed; +and the books and the candle, watch, handkerchief, and spectacles were +replaced upon the table. She then put on the spectacles and read certain +passages aloud from a book--sternly, fiercely, wrathfully--praying that +her enemies (she made them by her tone and manner expressly hers) might +be put to the edge of the sword, consumed by fire, smitten by plagues +and leprosy, that their bones might be ground to dust, and that they +might be utterly exterminated. As she read on, years seemed to fall +away from her son like the imaginings of a dream, and all the old dark +horrors of his usual preparation for the sleep of an innocent child to +overshadow him. + +She shut the book and remained for a little time with her face shaded by +her hand. So did the old man, otherwise still unchanged in attitude; so, +probably, did the old woman in her dimmer part of the room. Then the +sick woman was ready for bed. + +'Good night, Arthur. Affery will see to your accommodation. Only touch +me, for my hand is tender.' He touched the worsted muffling of her +hand--that was nothing; if his mother had been sheathed in brass there +would have been no new barrier between them--and followed the old man +and woman down-stairs. + +The latter asked him, when they were alone together among the heavy +shadows of the dining-room, would he have some supper? + +'No, Affery, no supper.' + +'You shall if you like,' said Affery. 'There's her tomorrow's partridge +in the larder--her first this year; say the word and I'll cook it.' + +No, he had not long dined, and could eat nothing. + +'Have something to drink, then,' said Affery; 'you shall have some of +her bottle of port, if you like. I'll tell Jeremiah that you ordered me +to bring it you.' + +No; nor would he have that, either. + +'It's no reason, Arthur,' said the old woman, bending over him to +whisper, 'that because I am afeared of my life of 'em, you should be. +You've got half the property, haven't you?' + +'Yes, yes.' + +'Well then, don't you be cowed. You're clever, Arthur, an't you?' + +He nodded, as she seemed to expect an answer in the affirmative. + +'Then stand up against them! She's awful clever, and none but a clever +one durst say a word to her. _He's_ a clever one--oh, he's a clever +one!--and he gives it her when he has a mind to't, he does!' + +'Your husband does?' + +'Does? It makes me shake from head to foot, to hear him give it her. My +husband, Jeremiah Flintwinch, can conquer even your mother. What can he +be but a clever one to do that!' + +His shuffling footstep coming towards them caused her to retreat to the +other end of the room. Though a tall, hard-favoured, sinewy old woman, +who in her youth might have enlisted in the Foot Guards without much +fear of discovery, she collapsed before the little keen-eyed crab-like +old man. + +'Now, Affery,' said he, 'now, woman, what are you doing? Can't you find +Master Arthur something or another to pick at?' + +Master Arthur repeated his recent refusal to pick at anything. + +'Very well, then,' said the old man; 'make his bed. Stir yourself.' His +neck was so twisted that the knotted ends of his white cravat usually +dangled under one ear; his natural acerbity and energy, always +contending with a second nature of habitual repression, gave his +features a swollen and suffused look; and altogether, he had a weird +appearance of having hanged himself at one time or other, and of having +gone about ever since, halter and all, exactly as some timely hand had +cut him down. + +'You'll have bitter words together to-morrow, Arthur; you and your +mother,' said Jeremiah. 'Your having given up the business on your +father's death--which she suspects, though we have left it to you to +tell her--won't go off smoothly.' + +'I have given up everything in life for the business, and the time came +for me to give up that.' + +'Good!' cried Jeremiah, evidently meaning Bad. 'Very good! only don't +expect me to stand between your mother and you, Arthur. I stood between +your mother and your father, fending off this, and fending off that, and +getting crushed and pounded betwixt em; and I've done with such work.' + +'You will never be asked to begin it again for me, Jeremiah.' + +'Good. I'm glad to hear it; because I should have had to decline it, if +I had been. That's enough--as your mother says--and more than enough of +such matters on a Sabbath night. Affery, woman, have you found what you +want yet?' + +She had been collecting sheets and blankets from a press, and hastened +to gather them up, and to reply, 'Yes, Jeremiah.' Arthur Clennam helped +her by carrying the load himself, wished the old man good night, and +went up-stairs with her to the top of the house. + +They mounted up and up, through the musty smell of an old close house, +little used, to a large garret bed-room. Meagre and spare, like all the +other rooms, it was even uglier and grimmer than the rest, by being the +place of banishment for the worn-out furniture. Its movables were ugly +old chairs with worn-out seats, and ugly old chairs without any seats; +a threadbare patternless carpet, a maimed table, a crippled wardrobe, +a lean set of fire-irons like the skeleton of a set deceased, a +washing-stand that looked as if it had stood for ages in a hail of +dirty soapsuds, and a bedstead with four bare atomies of posts, each +terminating in a spike, as if for the dismal accommodation of lodgers +who might prefer to impale themselves. Arthur opened the long low +window, and looked out upon the old blasted and blackened forest of +chimneys, and the old red glare in the sky, which had seemed to him once +upon a time but a nightly reflection of the fiery environment that was +presented to his childish fancy in all directions, let it look where it +would. + +He drew in his head again, sat down at the bedside, and looked on at +Affery Flintwinch making the bed. + +'Affery, you were not married when I went away.' + +She screwed her mouth into the form of saying 'No,' shook her head, and +proceeded to get a pillow into its case. + +'How did it happen?' + +'Why, Jeremiah, o' course,' said Affery, with an end of the pillow-case +between her teeth. + +'Of course he proposed it, but how did it all come about? I should have +thought that neither of you would have married; least of all should I +have thought of your marrying each other.' + +'No more should I,' said Mrs Flintwinch, tying the pillow tightly in its +case. + +'That's what I mean. When did you begin to think otherwise?' + +'Never begun to think otherwise at all,' said Mrs Flintwinch. + +Seeing, as she patted the pillow into its place on the bolster, that he +was still looking at her as if waiting for the rest of her reply, +she gave it a great poke in the middle, and asked, 'How could I help +myself?' + +'How could you help yourself from being married!' + +'O' course,' said Mrs Flintwinch. 'It was no doing o' mine. I'd never +thought of it. I'd got something to do, without thinking, indeed! She +kept me to it (as well as he) when she could go about, and she could go +about then.' + +'Well?' + +'Well?' echoed Mrs Flintwinch. 'That's what I said myself. Well! What's +the use of considering? If them two clever ones have made up their minds +to it, what's left for _me_ to do? Nothing.' + +'Was it my mother's project, then?' + +'The Lord bless you, Arthur, and forgive me the wish!' cried Affery, +speaking always in a low tone. 'If they hadn't been both of a mind in +it, how could it ever have been? Jeremiah never courted me; t'ant likely +that he would, after living in the house with me and ordering me +about for as many years as he'd done. He said to me one day, he said, +"Affery," he said, "now I am going to tell you something. What do you +think of the name of Flintwinch?" "What do I think of it?" I says. +"Yes," he said, "because you're going to take it," he said. "Take it?" I +says. "Jere-_mi_-ah?" Oh! he's a clever one!' + +Mrs Flintwinch went on to spread the upper sheet over the bed, and the +blanket over that, and the counterpane over that, as if she had quite +concluded her story. + +'Well?' said Arthur again. + +'Well?' echoed Mrs Flintwinch again. 'How could I help myself? He said +to me, "Affery, you and me must be married, and I'll tell you why. She's +failing in health, and she'll want pretty constant attendance up in +her room, and we shall have to be much with her, and there'll be nobody +about now but ourselves when we're away from her, and altogether it will +be more convenient. She's of my opinion," he said, "so if you'll put +your bonnet on next Monday morning at eight, we'll get it over."' Mrs +Flintwinch tucked up the bed. + +'Well?' + +'Well?' repeated Mrs Flintwinch, 'I think so! I sits me down and says +it. Well!--Jeremiah then says to me, "As to banns, next Sunday being the +third time of asking (for I've put 'em up a fortnight), is my reason for +naming Monday. She'll speak to you about it herself, and now she'll find +you prepared, Affery." That same day she spoke to me, and she said, "So, +Affery, I understand that you and Jeremiah are going to be married. I +am glad of it, and so are you, with reason. It is a very good thing for +you, and very welcome under the circumstances to me. He is a sensible +man, and a trustworthy man, and a persevering man, and a pious man." +What could I say when it had come to that? Why, if it had been--a +smothering instead of a wedding,' Mrs Flintwinch cast about in her mind +with great pains for this form of expression, 'I couldn't have said a +word upon it, against them two clever ones.' + +'In good faith, I believe so.' + +'And so you may, Arthur.' + +'Affery, what girl was that in my mother's room just now?' + +'Girl?' said Mrs Flintwinch in a rather sharp key. + +'It was a girl, surely, whom I saw near you--almost hidden in the dark +corner?' + +'Oh! She? Little Dorrit? _She_'s nothing; she's a whim of--hers.' It was a +peculiarity of Affery Flintwinch that she never spoke of Mrs Clennam +by name. 'But there's another sort of girls than that about. Have you +forgot your old sweetheart? Long and long ago, I'll be bound.' + +'I suffered enough from my mother's separating us, to remember her. +I recollect her very well.' + +'Have you got another?' + +'No.' + +'Here's news for you, then. She's well to do now, and a widow. And if +you like to have her, why you can.' + +'And how do you know that, Affery?' + +'Them two clever ones have been speaking about it.--There's Jeremiah on +the stairs!' She was gone in a moment. + +Mrs Flintwinch had introduced into the web that his mind was busily +weaving, in that old workshop where the loom of his youth had stood, the +last thread wanting to the pattern. The airy folly of a boy's love had +found its way even into that house, and he had been as wretched under +its hopelessness as if the house had been a castle of romance. Little +more than a week ago at Marseilles, the face of the pretty girl from +whom he had parted with regret, had had an unusual interest for him, and +a tender hold upon him, because of some resemblance, real or imagined, +to this first face that had soared out of his gloomy life into the +bright glories of fancy. He leaned upon the sill of the long low window, +and looking out upon the blackened forest of chimneys again, began to +dream; for it had been the uniform tendency of this man's life--so much +was wanting in it to think about, so much that might have been better +directed and happier to speculate upon--to make him a dreamer, after +all. + + + + +CHAPTER 4. Mrs Flintwinch has a Dream + + +When Mrs Flintwinch dreamed, she usually dreamed, unlike the son of her +old mistress, with her eyes shut. She had a curiously vivid dream that +night, and before she had left the son of her old mistress many hours. +In fact it was not at all like a dream; it was so very real in every +respect. It happened in this wise. + +The bed-chamber occupied by Mr and Mrs Flintwinch was within a few paces +of that to which Mrs Clennam had been so long confined. It was not on +the same floor, for it was a room at the side of the house, which was +approached by a steep descent of a few odd steps, diverging from the +main staircase nearly opposite to Mrs Clennam's door. It could scarcely +be said to be within call, the walls, doors, and panelling of the old +place were so cumbrous; but it was within easy reach, in any undress, +at any hour of the night, in any temperature. At the head of the bed +and within a foot of Mrs Flintwinch's ear, was a bell, the line of which +hung ready to Mrs Clennam's hand. Whenever this bell rang, up started +Affery, and was in the sick room before she was awake. + +Having got her mistress into bed, lighted her lamp, and given her good +night, Mrs Flintwinch went to roost as usual, saving that her lord had +not yet appeared. It was her lord himself who became--unlike the +last theme in the mind, according to the observation of most +philosophers--the subject of Mrs Flintwinch's dream. + +It seemed to her that she awoke after sleeping some hours, and found +Jeremiah not yet abed. That she looked at the candle she had left +burning, and, measuring the time like King Alfred the Great, was +confirmed by its wasted state in her belief that she had been asleep for +some considerable period. That she arose thereupon, muffled herself up +in a wrapper, put on her shoes, and went out on the staircase, much +surprised, to look for Jeremiah. + +The staircase was as wooden and solid as need be, and Affery went +straight down it without any of those deviations peculiar to dreams. +She did not skim over it, but walked down it, and guided herself by the +banisters on account of her candle having died out. In one corner of +the hall, behind the house-door, there was a little waiting-room, like a +well-shaft, with a long narrow window in it as if it had been ripped up. +In this room, which was never used, a light was burning. + +Mrs Flintwinch crossed the hall, feeling its pavement cold to her +stockingless feet, and peeped in between the rusty hinges on the door, +which stood a little open. She expected to see Jeremiah fast asleep or +in a fit, but he was calmly seated in a chair, awake, and in his usual +health. But what--hey?--Lord forgive us!--Mrs Flintwinch muttered some +ejaculation to this effect, and turned giddy. + +For, Mr Flintwinch awake, was watching Mr Flintwinch asleep. He sat on +one side of the small table, looking keenly at himself on the other side +with his chin sunk on his breast, snoring. The waking Flintwinch had his +full front face presented to his wife; the sleeping Flintwinch was +in profile. The waking Flintwinch was the old original; the sleeping +Flintwinch was the double, just as she might have distinguished between +a tangible object and its reflection in a glass, Affery made out this +difference with her head going round and round. + +If she had had any doubt which was her own Jeremiah, it would have been +resolved by his impatience. He looked about him for an offensive weapon, +caught up the snuffers, and, before applying them to the cabbage-headed +candle, lunged at the sleeper as though he would have run him through +the body. + +'Who's that? What's the matter?' cried the sleeper, starting. + +Mr Flintwinch made a movement with the snuffers, as if he would have +enforced silence on his companion by putting them down his throat; the +companion, coming to himself, said, rubbing his eyes, 'I forgot where I +was.' + +'You have been asleep,' snarled Jeremiah, referring to his watch, 'two +hours. You said you would be rested enough if you had a short nap.' + +'I have had a short nap,' said Double. + +'Half-past two o'clock in the morning,' muttered Jeremiah. 'Where's your +hat? Where's your coat? Where's the box?' + +'All here,' said Double, tying up his throat with sleepy carefulness in +a shawl. 'Stop a minute. Now give me the sleeve--not that sleeve, the +other one. Ha! I'm not as young as I was.' Mr Flintwinch had pulled +him into his coat with vehement energy. 'You promised me a second glass +after I was rested.' + +'Drink it!' returned Jeremiah, 'and--choke yourself, I was going +to say--but go, I mean.' At the same time he produced the identical +port-wine bottle, and filled a wine-glass. + +'Her port-wine, I believe?' said Double, tasting it as if he were in the +Docks, with hours to spare. 'Her health.' + +He took a sip. + +'Your health!' + +He took another sip. + +'His health!' + +He took another sip. + +'And all friends round St Paul's.' He emptied and put down the +wine-glass half-way through this ancient civic toast, and took up the +box. It was an iron box some two feet square, which he carried under his +arms pretty easily. Jeremiah watched his manner of adjusting it, with +jealous eyes; tried it with his hands, to be sure that he had a firm +hold of it; bade him for his life be careful what he was about; and then +stole out on tiptoe to open the door for him. Affery, anticipating +the last movement, was on the staircase. The sequence of things was +so ordinary and natural, that, standing there, she could hear the door +open, feel the night air, and see the stars outside. + +But now came the most remarkable part of the dream. She felt so afraid +of her husband, that being on the staircase, she had not the power to +retreat to her room (which she might easily have done before he had +fastened the door), but stood there staring. Consequently when he came +up the staircase to bed, candle in hand, he came full upon her. He +looked astonished, but said not a word. He kept his eyes upon her, and +kept advancing; and she, completely under his influence, kept retiring +before him. Thus, she walking backward and he walking forward, they +came into their own room. They were no sooner shut in there, than Mr +Flintwinch took her by the throat, and shook her until she was black in +the face. + +'Why, Affery, woman--Affery!' said Mr Flintwinch. 'What have you been +dreaming of? Wake up, wake up! What's the matter?' + +'The--the matter, Jeremiah?' gasped Mrs Flintwinch, rolling her eyes. + +'Why, Affery, woman--Affery! You have been getting out of bed in your +sleep, my dear! I come up, after having fallen asleep myself, below, and +find you in your wrapper here, with the nightmare. Affery, woman,' said +Mr Flintwinch, with a friendly grin on his expressive countenance, 'if +you ever have a dream of this sort again, it'll be a sign of your being +in want of physic. And I'll give you such a dose, old woman--such a +dose!' + +Mrs Flintwinch thanked him and crept into bed. + + + + +CHAPTER 5. Family Affairs + + +As the city clocks struck nine on Monday morning, Mrs Clennam was +wheeled by Jeremiah Flintwinch of the cut-down aspect to her tall +cabinet. When she had unlocked and opened it, and had settled herself +at its desk, Jeremiah withdrew--as it might be, to hang himself more +effectually--and her son appeared. + +'Are you any better this morning, mother?' + +She shook her head, with the same austere air of luxuriousness that she +had shown over-night when speaking of the weather. 'I shall never be +better any more. It is well for me, Arthur, that I know it and can bear +it.' + +Sitting with her hands laid separately upon the desk, and the tall +cabinet towering before her, she looked as if she were performing on a +dumb church organ. Her son thought so (it was an old thought with him), +while he took his seat beside it. + +She opened a drawer or two, looked over some business papers, and put +them back again. Her severe face had no thread of relaxation in it, by +which any explorer could have been guided to the gloomy labyrinth of her +thoughts. + +'Shall I speak of our affairs, mother? Are you inclined to enter upon +business?' + +'Am I inclined, Arthur? Rather, are you? Your father has been dead a +year and more. I have been at your disposal, and waiting your pleasure, +ever since.' + +'There was much to arrange before I could leave; and when I did leave, I +travelled a little for rest and relief.' + +She turned her face towards him, as not having heard or understood his +last words. + +'For rest and relief.' + +She glanced round the sombre room, and appeared from the motion of her +lips to repeat the words to herself, as calling it to witness how little +of either it afforded her. + +'Besides, mother, you being sole executrix, and having the direction and +management of the estate, there remained little business, or I might say +none, that I could transact, until you had had time to arrange matters +to your satisfaction.' + +'The accounts are made out,' she returned. 'I have them here. The +vouchers have all been examined and passed. You can inspect them when +you like, Arthur; now, if you please.' + +'It is quite enough, mother, to know that the business is completed. +Shall I proceed then?' + +'Why not?' she said, in her frozen way. + +'Mother, our House has done less and less for some years past, and our +dealings have been progressively on the decline. We have never shown +much confidence, or invited much; we have attached no people to us; the +track we have kept is not the track of the time; and we have been +left far behind. I need not dwell on this to you, mother. You know it +necessarily.' + +'I know what you mean,' she answered, in a qualified tone. + +'Even this old house in which we speak,' pursued her son, 'is an +instance of what I say. In my father's earlier time, and in his uncle's +time before him, it was a place of business--really a place of business, +and business resort. Now, it is a mere anomaly and incongruity here, out +of date and out of purpose. All our consignments have long been made to +Rovinghams' the commission-merchants; and although, as a check upon +them, and in the stewardship of my father's resources, your judgment and +watchfulness have been actively exerted, still those qualities would +have influenced my father's fortunes equally, if you had lived in any +private dwelling: would they not?' + +'Do you consider,' she returned, without answering his question, 'that +a house serves no purpose, Arthur, in sheltering your infirm and +afflicted--justly infirm and righteously afflicted--mother?' + +'I was speaking only of business purposes.' + +'With what object?' + +'I am coming to it.' + +'I foresee,' she returned, fixing her eyes upon him, 'what it is. +But the Lord forbid that I should repine under any visitation. In my +sinfulness I merit bitter disappointment, and I accept it.' + +'Mother, I grieve to hear you speak like this, though I have had my +apprehensions that you would--' + +'You knew I would. You knew _me_,' she interrupted. + +Her son paused for a moment. He had struck fire out of her, and was +surprised. 'Well!' she said, relapsing into stone. 'Go on. Let me hear.' + +'You have anticipated, mother, that I decide for my part, to abandon +the business. I have done with it. I will not take upon myself to advise +you; you will continue it, I see. If I had any influence with you, I +would simply use it to soften your judgment of me in causing you this +disappointment: to represent to you that I have lived the half of a long +term of life, and have never before set my own will against yours. I +cannot say that I have been able to conform myself, in heart and spirit, +to your rules; I cannot say that I believe my forty years have been +profitable or pleasant to myself, or any one; but I have habitually +submitted, and I only ask you to remember it.' + +Woe to the suppliant, if such a one there were or ever had been, who had +any concession to look for in the inexorable face at the cabinet. Woe to +the defaulter whose appeal lay to the tribunal where those severe eyes +presided. Great need had the rigid woman of her mystical religion, +veiled in gloom and darkness, with lightnings of cursing, vengeance, and +destruction, flashing through the sable clouds. Forgive us our debts as +we forgive our debtors, was a prayer too poor in spirit for her. Smite +Thou my debtors, Lord, wither them, crush them; do Thou as I would do, +and Thou shalt have my worship: this was the impious tower of stone she +built up to scale Heaven. + +'Have you finished, Arthur, or have you anything more to say to me? I +think there can be nothing else. You have been short, but full of matter!' + +'Mother, I have yet something more to say. It has been upon my mind, +night and day, this long time. It is far more difficult to say than what +I have said. That concerned myself; this concerns us all.' + +'Us all! Who are us all?' + +'Yourself, myself, my dead father.' + +She took her hands from the desk; folded them in her lap; and sat +looking towards the fire, with the impenetrability of an old Egyptian +sculpture. + +'You knew my father infinitely better than I ever knew him; and his +reserve with me yielded to you. You were much the stronger, mother, and +directed him. As a child, I knew it as well as I know it now. I knew +that your ascendancy over him was the cause of his going to China to +take care of the business there, while you took care of it here (though +I do not even now know whether these were really terms of separation +that you agreed upon); and that it was your will that I should remain +with you until I was twenty, and then go to him as I did. You will not +be offended by my recalling this, after twenty years?' + +'I am waiting to hear why you recall it.' + +He lowered his voice, and said, with manifest reluctance, and against +his will: + +'I want to ask you, mother, whether it ever occurred to you to +suspect--' + +At the word Suspect, she turned her eyes momentarily upon her son, with +a dark frown. She then suffered them to seek the fire, as before; but +with the frown fixed above them, as if the sculptor of old Egypt had +indented it in the hard granite face, to frown for ages. + +'--that he had any secret remembrance which caused him trouble of +mind--remorse? Whether you ever observed anything in his conduct +suggesting that; or ever spoke to him upon it, or ever heard him hint at +such a thing?' + +'I do not understand what kind of secret remembrance you mean to infer +that your father was a prey to,' she returned, after a silence. 'You +speak so mysteriously.' + +'Is it possible, mother,' her son leaned forward to be the nearer to her +while he whispered it, and laid his hand nervously upon her desk, 'is +it possible, mother, that he had unhappily wronged any one, and made no +reparation?' + +Looking at him wrathfully, she bent herself back in her chair to keep +him further off, but gave him no reply. + +'I am deeply sensible, mother, that if this thought has never at any +time flashed upon you, it must seem cruel and unnatural in me, even in +this confidence, to breathe it. But I cannot shake it off. Time and +change (I have tried both before breaking silence) do nothing to wear it +out. Remember, I was with my father. Remember, I saw his face when he +gave the watch into my keeping, and struggled to express that he sent it +as a token you would understand, to you. Remember, I saw him at the last +with the pencil in his failing hand, trying to write some word for you +to read, but to which he could give no shape. The more remote and cruel +this vague suspicion that I have, the stronger the circumstances that +could give it any semblance of probability to me. For Heaven's sake, let +us examine sacredly whether there is any wrong entrusted to us to set +right. No one can help towards it, mother, but you.' + +Still so recoiling in her chair that her overpoised weight moved it, +from time to time, a little on its wheels, and gave her the appearance +of a phantom of fierce aspect gliding away from him, she interposed her +left arm, bent at the elbow with the back of her hand towards her face, +between herself and him, and looked at him in a fixed silence. + +'In grasping at money and in driving hard bargains--I have begun, and I +must speak of such things now, mother--some one may have been grievously +deceived, injured, ruined. You were the moving power of all this +machinery before my birth; your stronger spirit has been infused into +all my father's dealings for more than two score years. You can set +these doubts at rest, I think, if you will really help me to discover +the truth. Will you, mother?' + +He stopped in the hope that she would speak. But her grey hair was not +more immovable in its two folds, than were her firm lips. + +'If reparation can be made to any one, if restitution can be made to any +one, let us know it and make it. Nay, mother, if within my means, let _me_ +make it. I have seen so little happiness come of money; it has brought +within my knowledge so little peace to this house, or to any one +belonging to it, that it is worth less to me than to another. It can buy +me nothing that will not be a reproach and misery to me, if I am haunted +by a suspicion that it darkened my father's last hours with remorse, and +that it is not honestly and justly mine.' + +There was a bell-rope hanging on the panelled wall, some two or three yards +from the cabinet. By a swift and sudden action of her foot, she drove her +wheeled chair rapidly back to it and pulled it violently--still holding her +arm up in its shield-like posture, as if he were striking at her, and she +warding off the blow. + +A girl came hurrying in, frightened. + +'Send Flintwinch here!' + +In a moment the girl had withdrawn, and the old man stood within the +door. 'What! You're hammer and tongs, already, you two?' he said, coolly +stroking his face. 'I thought you would be. I was pretty sure of it.' + +'Flintwinch!' said the mother, 'look at my son. Look at him!' + +'Well, I _am_ looking at him,' said Flintwinch. + +She stretched out the arm with which she had shielded herself, and as +she went on, pointed at the object of her anger. + +'In the very hour of his return almost--before the shoe upon his foot is +dry--he asperses his father's memory to his mother! Asks his mother +to become, with him, a spy upon his father's transactions through a +lifetime! Has misgivings that the goods of this world which we have +painfully got together early and late, with wear and tear and toil and +self-denial, are so much plunder; and asks to whom they shall be given +up, as reparation and restitution!' + +Although she said this raging, she said it in a voice so far from being +beyond her control that it was even lower than her usual tone. She also +spoke with great distinctness. + +'Reparation!' said she. 'Yes, truly! It is easy for him to talk of +reparation, fresh from journeying and junketing in foreign lands, and +living a life of vanity and pleasure. But let him look at me, in prison, +and in bonds here. I endure without murmuring, because it is appointed +that I shall so make reparation for my sins. Reparation! Is there none +in this room? Has there been none here this fifteen years?' + +Thus was she always balancing her bargains with the Majesty of heaven, +posting up the entries to her credit, strictly keeping her set-off, and +claiming her due. She was only remarkable in this, for the force +and emphasis with which she did it. Thousands upon thousands do it, +according to their varying manner, every day. + +'Flintwinch, give me that book!' + +The old man handed it to her from the table. She put two fingers between +the leaves, closed the book upon them, and held it up to her son in +a threatening way. + +'In the days of old, Arthur, treated of in this commentary, there were +pious men, beloved of the Lord, who would have cursed their sons for +less than this: who would have sent them forth, and sent whole nations +forth, if such had supported them, to be avoided of God and man, and +perish, down to the baby at the breast. But I only tell you that if you +ever renew that theme with me, I will renounce you; I will so dismiss +you through that doorway, that you had better have been motherless from +your cradle. I will never see or know you more. And if, after all, you +were to come into this darkened room to look upon me lying dead, my body +should bleed, if I could make it, when you came near me.' + +In part relieved by the intensity of this threat, and in part (monstrous +as the fact is) by a general impression that it was in some sort a +religious proceeding, she handed back the book to the old man, and was +silent. + +'Now,' said Jeremiah; 'premising that I'm not going to stand between you +two, will you let me ask (as I _have_ been called in, and made a third) +what is all this about?' + +'Take your version of it,' returned Arthur, finding it left to him to +speak, 'from my mother. Let it rest there. What I have said, was said to +my mother only.' + +'Oh!' returned the old man. 'From your mother? Take it from your mother? +Well! But your mother mentioned that you had been suspecting your father. +That's not dutiful, Mr Arthur. Who will you be suspecting next?' + +'Enough,' said Mrs Clennam, turning her face so that it was addressed +for the moment to the old man only. 'Let no more be said about this.' + +'Yes, but stop a bit, stop a bit,' the old man persisted. 'Let us see +how we stand. Have you told Mr Arthur that he mustn't lay offences at +his father's door? That he has no right to do it? That he has no ground +to go upon?' + +'I tell him so now.' + +'Ah! Exactly,' said the old man. 'You tell him so now. You hadn't told +him so before, and you tell him so now. Ay, ay! That's right! You know I +stood between you and his father so long, that it seems as if death had +made no difference, and I was still standing between you. So I will, and +so in fairness I require to have that plainly put forward. Arthur, you +please to hear that you have no right to mistrust your father, and have +no ground to go upon.' + +He put his hands to the back of the wheeled chair, and muttering to +himself, slowly wheeled his mistress back to her cabinet. 'Now,' he +resumed, standing behind her: 'in case I should go away leaving things +half done, and so should be wanted again when you come to the other half +and get into one of your flights, has Arthur told you what he means to +do about the business?' + +'He has relinquished it.' + +'In favour of nobody, I suppose?' + +Mrs Clennam glanced at her son, leaning against one of the windows. He +observed the look and said, 'To my mother, of course. She does what she +pleases.' + +'And if any pleasure,' she said after a short pause, 'could arise for me +out of the disappointment of my expectations that my son, in the prime +of his life, would infuse new youth and strength into it, and make it +of great profit and power, it would be in advancing an old and faithful +servant. Jeremiah, the captain deserts the ship, but you and I will sink +or float with it.' + +Jeremiah, whose eyes glistened as if they saw money, darted a sudden +look at the son, which seemed to say, 'I owe _you_ no thanks for this; +_you_ have done nothing towards it!' and then told the mother that he +thanked her, and that Affery thanked her, and that he would never desert +her, and that Affery would never desert her. Finally, he hauled up his +watch from its depths, and said, 'Eleven. Time for your oysters!' and with +that change of subject, which involved no change of expression or manner, +rang the bell. + +But Mrs Clennam, resolved to treat herself with the greater rigour for +having been supposed to be unacquainted with reparation, refused to +eat her oysters when they were brought. They looked tempting; eight in +number, circularly set out on a white plate on a tray covered with a +white napkin, flanked by a slice of buttered French roll, and a little +compact glass of cool wine and water; but she resisted all persuasions, +and sent them down again--placing the act to her credit, no doubt, in +her Eternal Day-Book. + +This refection of oysters was not presided over by Affery, but by the +girl who had appeared when the bell was rung; the same who had been in +the dimly-lighted room last night. Now that he had an opportunity of +observing her, Arthur found that her diminutive figure, small features, +and slight spare dress, gave her the appearance of being much younger +than she was. A woman, probably of not less than two-and-twenty, she +might have been passed in the street for little more than half that +age. Not that her face was very youthful, for in truth there was more +consideration and care in it than naturally belonged to her utmost +years; but she was so little and light, so noiseless and shy, and +appeared so conscious of being out of place among the three hard elders, +that she had all the manner and much of the appearance of a subdued +child. + +In a hard way, and in an uncertain way that fluctuated between patronage +and putting down, the sprinkling from a watering-pot and hydraulic +pressure, Mrs Clennam showed an interest in this dependent. Even in the +moment of her entrance, upon the violent ringing of the bell, when the +mother shielded herself with that singular action from the son, Mrs +Clennam's eyes had had some individual recognition in them, which seemed +reserved for her. As there are degrees of hardness in the hardest metal, +and shades of colour in black itself, so, even in the asperity of Mrs +Clennam's demeanour towards all the rest of humanity and towards Little +Dorrit, there was a fine gradation. + +Little Dorrit let herself out to do needlework. At so much a day--or at +so little--from eight to eight, Little Dorrit was to be hired. Punctual +to the moment, Little Dorrit appeared; punctual to the moment, Little +Dorrit vanished. What became of Little Dorrit between the two eights was +a mystery. + +Another of the moral phenomena of Little Dorrit. Besides her +consideration money, her daily contract included meals. She had an +extraordinary repugnance to dining in company; would never do so, if +it were possible to escape. Would always plead that she had this bit of +work to begin first, or that bit of work to finish first; and would, of +a certainty, scheme and plan--not very cunningly, it would seem, for she +deceived no one--to dine alone. Successful in this, happy in carrying +off her plate anywhere, to make a table of her lap, or a box, or the +ground, or even as was supposed, to stand on tip-toe, dining moderately +at a mantel-shelf; the great anxiety of Little Dorrit's day was set at +rest. + +It was not easy to make out Little Dorrit's face; she was so retiring, +plied her needle in such removed corners, and started away so scared if +encountered on the stairs. But it seemed to be a pale transparent face, +quick in expression, though not beautiful in feature, its soft hazel +eyes excepted. A delicately bent head, a tiny form, a quick little pair +of busy hands, and a shabby dress--it must needs have been very shabby +to look at all so, being so neat--were Little Dorrit as she sat at work. + +For these particulars or generalities concerning Little Dorrit, Mr +Arthur was indebted in the course of the day to his own eyes and to Mrs +Affery's tongue. If Mrs Affery had had any will or way of her own, it +would probably have been unfavourable to Little Dorrit. But as 'them two +clever ones'--Mrs Affery's perpetual reference, in whom her personality +was swallowed up--were agreed to accept Little Dorrit as a matter of +course, she had nothing for it but to follow suit. Similarly, if the +two clever ones had agreed to murder Little Dorrit by candlelight, Mrs +Affery, being required to hold the candle, would no doubt have done it. + +In the intervals of roasting the partridge for the invalid chamber, and +preparing a baking-dish of beef and pudding for the dining-room, Mrs +Affery made the communications above set forth; invariably putting +her head in at the door again after she had taken it out, to enforce +resistance to the two clever ones. It appeared to have become a perfect +passion with Mrs Flintwinch, that the only son should be pitted against +them. + +In the course of the day, too, Arthur looked through the whole house. +Dull and dark he found it. The gaunt rooms, deserted for years upon +years, seemed to have settled down into a gloomy lethargy from which +nothing could rouse them again. The furniture, at once spare and +lumbering, hid in the rooms rather than furnished them, and there was +no colour in all the house; such colour as had ever been there, had long +ago started away on lost sunbeams--got itself absorbed, perhaps, into +flowers, butterflies, plumage of birds, precious stones, what not. There +was not one straight floor from the foundation to the roof; the ceilings +were so fantastically clouded by smoke and dust, that old women might +have told fortunes in them better than in grouts of tea; the dead-cold +hearths showed no traces of having ever been warmed but in heaps of soot +that had tumbled down the chimneys, and eddied about in little +dusky whirlwinds when the doors were opened. In what had once been +a drawing-room, there were a pair of meagre mirrors, with dismal +processions of black figures carrying black garlands, walking round +the frames; but even these were short of heads and legs, and one +undertaker-like Cupid had swung round on its own axis and got upside +down, and another had fallen off altogether. The room Arthur Clennam's +deceased father had occupied for business purposes, when he first +remembered him, was so unaltered that he might have been imagined still +to keep it invisibly, as his visible relict kept her room up-stairs; +Jeremiah Flintwinch still going between them negotiating. His picture, +dark and gloomy, earnestly speechless on the wall, with the eyes +intently looking at his son as they had looked when life departed from +them, seemed to urge him awfully to the task he had attempted; but as +to any yielding on the part of his mother, he had now no hope, and as to +any other means of setting his distrust at rest, he had abandoned hope a +long time. Down in the cellars, as up in the bed-chambers, old objects +that he well remembered were changed by age and decay, but were still in +their old places; even to empty beer-casks hoary with cobwebs, and empty +wine-bottles with fur and fungus choking up their throats. There, too, +among unusual bottle-racks and pale slants of light from the yard above, +was the strong room stored with old ledgers, which had as musty and +corrupt a smell as if they were regularly balanced, in the dead small +hours, by a nightly resurrection of old book-keepers. + +The baking-dish was served up in a penitential manner on a shrunken +cloth at an end of the dining-table, at two o'clock, when he dined with +Mr Flintwinch, the new partner. Mr Flintwinch informed him that his +mother had recovered her equanimity now, and that he need not fear her +again alluding to what had passed in the morning. 'And don't you lay +offences at your father's door, Mr Arthur,' added Jeremiah, 'once for +all, don't do it! Now, we have done with the subject.' + +Mr Flintwinch had been already rearranging and dusting his own +particular little office, as if to do honour to his accession to new +dignity. He resumed this occupation when he was replete with beef, had +sucked up all the gravy in the baking-dish with the flat of his knife, +and had drawn liberally on a barrel of small beer in the scullery. Thus +refreshed, he tucked up his shirt-sleeves and went to work again; and Mr +Arthur, watching him as he set about it, plainly saw that his father's +picture, or his father's grave, would be as communicative with him as +this old man. + +'Now, Affery, woman,' said Mr Flintwinch, as she crossed the hall. 'You +hadn't made Mr Arthur's bed when I was up there last. Stir yourself. +Bustle.' + +But Mr Arthur found the house so blank and dreary, and was so unwilling +to assist at another implacable consignment of his mother's enemies +(perhaps himself among them) to mortal disfigurement and immortal ruin, +that he announced his intention of lodging at the coffee-house where he +had left his luggage. Mr Flintwinch taking kindly to the idea of getting +rid of him, and his mother being indifferent, beyond considerations of +saving, to most domestic arrangements that were not bounded by the walls +of her own chamber, he easily carried this point without new offence. +Daily business hours were agreed upon, which his mother, Mr Flintwinch, +and he, were to devote together to a necessary checking of books and +papers; and he left the home he had so lately found, with depressed +heart. + +But Little Dorrit? + +The business hours, allowing for intervals of invalid regimen of oysters +and partridges, during which Clennam refreshed himself with a walk, +were from ten to six for about a fortnight. Sometimes Little Dorrit was +employed at her needle, sometimes not, sometimes appeared as a humble +visitor: which must have been her character on the occasion of his +arrival. His original curiosity augmented every day, as he watched for +her, saw or did not see her, and speculated about her. Influenced by his +predominant idea, he even fell into a habit of discussing with himself +the possibility of her being in some way associated with it. At last he +resolved to watch Little Dorrit and know more of her story. + + + + +CHAPTER 6. The Father of the Marshalsea + + +Thirty years ago there stood, a few doors short of the church of Saint +George, in the borough of Southwark, on the left-hand side of the way +going southward, the Marshalsea Prison. It had stood there many years +before, and it remained there some years afterwards; but it is gone now, +and the world is none the worse without it. + +It was an oblong pile of barrack building, partitioned into squalid +houses standing back to back, so that there were no back rooms; +environed by a narrow paved yard, hemmed in by high walls duly spiked at +top. Itself a close and confined prison for debtors, it contained within +it a much closer and more confined jail for smugglers. Offenders against +the revenue laws, and defaulters to excise or customs who had incurred +fines which they were unable to pay, were supposed to be incarcerated +behind an iron-plated door closing up a second prison, consisting of a +strong cell or two, and a blind alley some yard and a half wide, which +formed the mysterious termination of the very limited skittle-ground in +which the Marshalsea debtors bowled down their troubles. + +Supposed to be incarcerated there, because the time had rather outgrown +the strong cells and the blind alley. In practice they had come to be +considered a little too bad, though in theory they were quite as good as +ever; which may be observed to be the case at the present day with other +cells that are not at all strong, and with other blind alleys that are +stone-blind. Hence the smugglers habitually consorted with the debtors +(who received them with open arms), except at certain constitutional +moments when somebody came from some Office, to go through some form of +overlooking something which neither he nor anybody else knew anything +about. On these truly British occasions, the smugglers, if any, made a +feint of walking into the strong cells and the blind alley, while this +somebody pretended to do his something: and made a reality of walking +out again as soon as he hadn't done it--neatly epitomising the +administration of most of the public affairs in our right little, tight +little, island. + +There had been taken to the Marshalsea Prison, long before the day when +the sun shone on Marseilles and on the opening of this narrative, a +debtor with whom this narrative has some concern. + +He was, at that time, a very amiable and very helpless middle-aged +gentleman, who was going out again directly. Necessarily, he was going +out again directly, because the Marshalsea lock never turned upon a +debtor who was not. He brought in a portmanteau with him, which he +doubted its being worth while to unpack; he was so perfectly clear--like +all the rest of them, the turnkey on the lock said--that he was going +out again directly. + +He was a shy, retiring man; well-looking, though in an effeminate style; +with a mild voice, curling hair, and irresolute hands--rings upon the +fingers in those days--which nervously wandered to his trembling lip a +hundred times in the first half-hour of his acquaintance with the jail. +His principal anxiety was about his wife. + +'Do you think, sir,' he asked the turnkey, 'that she will be very much +shocked, if she should come to the gate to-morrow morning?' + +The turnkey gave it as the result of his experience that some of 'em was +and some of 'em wasn't. In general, more no than yes. 'What like is she, +you see?' he philosophically asked: 'that's what it hinges on.' + +'She is very delicate and inexperienced indeed.' + +'That,' said the turnkey, 'is agen her.' + +'She is so little used to go out alone,' said the debtor, 'that I am at +a loss to think how she will ever make her way here, if she walks.' + +'P'raps,' quoth the turnkey, 'she'll take a ackney coach.' + +'Perhaps.' The irresolute fingers went to the trembling lip. 'I hope she +will. She may not think of it.' + +'Or p'raps,' said the turnkey, offering his suggestions from the the top +of his well-worn wooden stool, as he might have offered them to a child +for whose weakness he felt a compassion, 'p'raps she'll get her brother, +or her sister, to come along with her.' + +'She has no brother or sister.' + +'Niece, nevy, cousin, serwant, young 'ooman, greengrocer.--Dash it! One +or another on 'em,' said the turnkey, repudiating beforehand the refusal +of all his suggestions. + +'I fear--I hope it is not against the rules--that she will bring the +children.' + +'The children?' said the turnkey. 'And the rules? Why, lord set you +up like a corner pin, we've a reg'lar playground o' children here. +Children! Why we swarm with 'em. How many a you got?' + +'Two,' said the debtor, lifting his irresolute hand to his lip again, +and turning into the prison. + +The turnkey followed him with his eyes. 'And you another,' he observed +to himself, 'which makes three on you. And your wife another, I'll lay +a crown. Which makes four on you. And another coming, I'll lay +half-a-crown. Which'll make five on you. And I'll go another seven and +sixpence to name which is the helplessest, the unborn baby or you!' + +He was right in all his particulars. She came next day with a little +boy of three years old, and a little girl of two, and he stood entirely +corroborated. + +'Got a room now; haven't you?' the turnkey asked the debtor after a week +or two. + +'Yes, I have got a very good room.' + +'Any little sticks a coming to furnish it?' said the turnkey. + +'I expect a few necessary articles of furniture to be delivered by the +carrier, this afternoon.' + +'Missis and little 'uns a coming to keep you company?' asked the +turnkey. + +'Why, yes, we think it better that we should not be scattered, even for +a few weeks.' + +'Even for a few weeks, _of_ course,' replied the turnkey. And he followed +him again with his eyes, and nodded his head seven times when he was +gone. + +The affairs of this debtor were perplexed by a partnership, of which he +knew no more than that he had invested money in it; by legal matters +of assignment and settlement, conveyance here and conveyance there, +suspicion of unlawful preference of creditors in this direction, and of +mysterious spiriting away of property in that; and as nobody on the face +of the earth could be more incapable of explaining any single item in +the heap of confusion than the debtor himself, nothing comprehensible +could be made of his case. To question him in detail, and endeavour +to reconcile his answers; to closet him with accountants and sharp +practitioners, learned in the wiles of insolvency and bankruptcy; was +only to put the case out at compound interest and incomprehensibility. +The irresolute fingers fluttered more and more ineffectually about the +trembling lip on every such occasion, and the sharpest practitioners +gave him up as a hopeless job. + +'Out?' said the turnkey, '_he_'ll never get out, unless his creditors take +him by the shoulders and shove him out.' + +He had been there five or six months, when he came running to this +turnkey one forenoon to tell him, breathless and pale, that his wife was +ill. + +'As anybody might a known she would be,' said the turnkey. + +'We intended,' he returned, 'that she should go to a country lodging +only to-morrow. What am I to do! Oh, good heaven, what am I to do!' + +'Don't waste your time in clasping your hands and biting your fingers,' +responded the practical turnkey, taking him by the elbow, 'but come +along with me.' + +The turnkey conducted him--trembling from head to foot, and constantly +crying under his breath, What was he to do! while his irresolute fingers +bedabbled the tears upon his face--up one of the common staircases in +the prison to a door on the garret story. Upon which door the turnkey +knocked with the handle of his key. + +'Come in!' cried a voice inside. + +The turnkey, opening the door, disclosed in a wretched, ill-smelling +little room, two hoarse, puffy, red-faced personages seated at a +rickety table, playing at all-fours, smoking pipes, and drinking brandy. + +'Doctor,' said the turnkey, 'here's a gentleman's wife in want of you +without a minute's loss of time!' + +The doctor's friend was in the positive degree of hoarseness, puffiness, +red-facedness, all-fours, tobacco, dirt, and brandy; the doctor in +the comparative--hoarser, puffier, more red-faced, more all-fourey, +tobaccoer, dirtier, and brandier. The doctor was amazingly shabby, in +a torn and darned rough-weather sea-jacket, out at elbows and eminently +short of buttons (he had been in his time the experienced surgeon +carried by a passenger ship), the dirtiest white trousers conceivable by +mortal man, carpet slippers, and no visible linen. 'Childbed?' said +the doctor. 'I'm the boy!' With that the doctor took a comb from the +chimney-piece and stuck his hair upright--which appeared to be his +way of washing himself--produced a professional chest or case, of most +abject appearance, from the cupboard where his cup and saucer and coals +were, settled his chin in the frowsy wrapper round his neck, and became +a ghastly medical scarecrow. + +The doctor and the debtor ran down-stairs, leaving the turnkey to return +to the lock, and made for the debtor's room. All the ladies in the +prison had got hold of the news, and were in the yard. Some of them +had already taken possession of the two children, and were hospitably +carrying them off; others were offering loans of little comforts from +their own scanty store; others were sympathising with the greatest +volubility. The gentlemen prisoners, feeling themselves at a +disadvantage, had for the most part retired, not to say sneaked, +to their rooms; from the open windows of which some of them now +complimented the doctor with whistles as he passed below, while others, +with several stories between them, interchanged sarcastic references to +the prevalent excitement. + +It was a hot summer day, and the prison rooms were baking between the +high walls. In the debtor's confined chamber, Mrs Bangham, charwoman and +messenger, who was not a prisoner (though she had been once), but +was the popular medium of communication with the outer world, had +volunteered her services as fly-catcher and general attendant. The walls +and ceiling were blackened with flies. Mrs Bangham, expert in sudden +device, with one hand fanned the patient with a cabbage leaf, and with +the other set traps of vinegar and sugar in gallipots; at the same time +enunciating sentiments of an encouraging and congratulatory nature, +adapted to the occasion. + +'The flies trouble you, don't they, my dear?' said Mrs Bangham. 'But +p'raps they'll take your mind off of it, and do you good. What between +the buryin ground, the grocer's, the waggon-stables, and the paunch +trade, the Marshalsea flies gets very large. P'raps they're sent as a +consolation, if we only know'd it. How are you now, my dear? No better? +No, my dear, it ain't to be expected; you'll be worse before you're +better, and you know it, don't you? Yes. That's right! And to think of +a sweet little cherub being born inside the lock! Now ain't it pretty, +ain't _that_ something to carry you through it pleasant? Why, we ain't +had such a thing happen here, my dear, not for I couldn't name the time +when. And you a crying too?' said Mrs Bangham, to rally the patient more +and more. 'You! Making yourself so famous! With the flies a falling into +the gallipots by fifties! And everything a going on so well! And here if +there ain't,' said Mrs Bangham as the door opened, 'if there ain't your +dear gentleman along with Dr Haggage! And now indeed we _are_ complete, I +_think_!' + +The doctor was scarcely the kind of apparition to inspire a patient +with a sense of absolute completeness, but as he presently delivered the +opinion, 'We are as right as we can be, Mrs Bangham, and we shall +come out of this like a house afire;' and as he and Mrs Bangham took +possession of the poor helpless pair, as everybody else and anybody else +had always done, the means at hand were as good on the whole as better +would have been. The special feature in Dr Haggage's treatment of the +case, was his determination to keep Mrs Bangham up to the mark. As thus: + +'Mrs Bangham,' said the doctor, before he had been there twenty minutes, +'go outside and fetch a little brandy, or we shall have you giving in.' + +'Thank you, sir. But none on my accounts,' said Mrs Bangham. + +'Mrs Bangham,' returned the doctor, 'I am in professional attendance +on this lady, and don't choose to allow any discussion on your part. Go +outside and fetch a little brandy, or I foresee that you'll break down.' + +'You're to be obeyed, sir,' said Mrs Bangham, rising. 'If you was to put +your own lips to it, I think you wouldn't be the worse, for you look but +poorly, sir.' + +'Mrs Bangham,' returned the doctor, 'I am not your business, thank you, +but you are mine. Never you mind _me_, if you please. What you have got to +do, is, to do as you are told, and to go and get what I bid you.' + +Mrs Bangham submitted; and the doctor, having administered her +potion, took his own. He repeated the treatment every hour, being very +determined with Mrs Bangham. Three or four hours passed; the flies +fell into the traps by hundreds; and at length one little life, hardly +stronger than theirs, appeared among the multitude of lesser deaths. + +'A very nice little girl indeed,' said the doctor; 'little, but +well-formed. Halloa, Mrs Bangham! You're looking queer! You be off, +ma'am, this minute, and fetch a little more brandy, or we shall have you +in hysterics.' + +By this time, the rings had begun to fall from the debtor's irresolute +hands, like leaves from a wintry tree. Not one was left upon them that +night, when he put something that chinked into the doctor's greasy palm. +In the meantime Mrs Bangham had been out on an errand to a neighbouring +establishment decorated with three golden balls, where she was very well +known. + +'Thank you,' said the doctor, 'thank you. Your good lady is quite +composed. Doing charmingly.' + +'I am very happy and very thankful to know it,' said the debtor, 'though +I little thought once, that--' + +'That a child would be born to you in a place like this?' said the +doctor. 'Bah, bah, sir, what does it signify? A little more elbow-room +is all we want here. We are quiet here; we don't get badgered here; +there's no knocker here, sir, to be hammered at by creditors and bring a +man's heart into his mouth. Nobody comes here to ask if a man's at +home, and to say he'll stand on the door mat till he is. Nobody writes +threatening letters about money to this place. It's freedom, sir, it's +freedom! I have had to-day's practice at home and abroad, on a march, +and aboard ship, and I'll tell you this: I don't know that I have ever +pursued it under such quiet circumstances as here this day. Elsewhere, +people are restless, worried, hurried about, anxious respecting one +thing, anxious respecting another. Nothing of the kind here, sir. We +have done all that--we know the worst of it; we have got to the bottom, +we can't fall, and what have we found? Peace. That's the word for +it. Peace.' With this profession of faith, the doctor, who was an old +jail-bird, and was more sodden than usual, and had the additional and +unusual stimulus of money in his pocket, returned to his associate and +chum in hoarseness, puffiness, red-facedness, all-fours, tobacco, dirt, +and brandy. + +Now, the debtor was a very different man from the doctor, but he had +already begun to travel, by his opposite segment of the circle, to the +same point. Crushed at first by his imprisonment, he had soon found a +dull relief in it. He was under lock and key; but the lock and key that +kept him in, kept numbers of his troubles out. If he had been a man with +strength of purpose to face those troubles and fight them, he might have +broken the net that held him, or broken his heart; but being what he +was, he languidly slipped into this smooth descent, and never more took +one step upward. + +When he was relieved of the perplexed affairs that nothing would make +plain, through having them returned upon his hands by a dozen agents in +succession who could make neither beginning, middle, nor end of them or +him, he found his miserable place of refuge a quieter refuge than it +had been before. He had unpacked the portmanteau long ago; and his elder +children now played regularly about the yard, and everybody knew the +baby, and claimed a kind of proprietorship in her. + +'Why, I'm getting proud of you,' said his friend the turnkey, one day. +'You'll be the oldest inhabitant soon. The Marshalsea wouldn't be like +the Marshalsea now, without you and your family.' + +The turnkey really was proud of him. He would mention him in laudatory +terms to new-comers, when his back was turned. 'You took notice of him,' +he would say, 'that went out of the lodge just now?' + +New-comer would probably answer Yes. + +'Brought up as a gentleman, he was, if ever a man was. Ed'cated at no +end of expense. Went into the Marshal's house once to try a new piano +for him. Played it, I understand, like one o'clock--beautiful! As to +languages--speaks anything. We've had a Frenchman here in his time, and +it's my opinion he knowed more French than the Frenchman did. We've had +an Italian here in his time, and he shut _him_ up in about half a minute. +You'll find some characters behind other locks, I don't say you won't; +but if you want the top sawyer in such respects as I've mentioned, you +must come to the Marshalsea.' + +When his youngest child was eight years old, his wife, who had long been +languishing away--of her own inherent weakness, not that she retained +any greater sensitiveness as to her place of abode than he did--went +upon a visit to a poor friend and old nurse in the country, and died +there. He remained shut up in his room for a fortnight afterwards; +and an attorney's clerk, who was going through the Insolvent Court, +engrossed an address of condolence to him, which looked like a Lease, +and which all the prisoners signed. When he appeared again he was +greyer (he had soon begun to turn grey); and the turnkey noticed that +his hands went often to his trembling lips again, as they had used to do +when he first came in. But he got pretty well over it in a month or +two; and in the meantime the children played about the yard as regularly +as ever, but in black. + +Then Mrs Bangham, long popular medium of communication with the outer +world, began to be infirm, and to be found oftener than usual comatose +on pavements, with her basket of purchases spilt, and the change of her +clients ninepence short. His son began to supersede Mrs Bangham, and +to execute commissions in a knowing manner, and to be of the prison +prisonous, of the streets streety. + +Time went on, and the turnkey began to fail. His chest swelled, and his +legs got weak, and he was short of breath. The well-worn wooden stool +was 'beyond him,' he complained. He sat in an arm-chair with a cushion, +and sometimes wheezed so, for minutes together, that he couldn't turn +the key. When he was overpowered by these fits, the debtor often turned +it for him. + +'You and me,' said the turnkey, one snowy winter's night when the lodge, +with a bright fire in it, was pretty full of company, 'is the oldest +inhabitants. I wasn't here myself above seven year before you. I shan't +last long. When I'm off the lock for good and all, you'll be the Father +of the Marshalsea.' + +The turnkey went off the lock of this world next day. His words were +remembered and repeated; and tradition afterwards handed down from +generation to generation--a Marshalsea generation might be calculated as +about three months--that the shabby old debtor with the soft manner and +the white hair, was the Father of the Marshalsea. + +And he grew to be proud of the title. If any impostor had arisen to +claim it, he would have shed tears in resentment of the attempt to +deprive him of his rights. A disposition began to be perceived in him +to exaggerate the number of years he had been there; it was generally +understood that you must deduct a few from his account; he was vain, the +fleeting generations of debtors said. + +All new-comers were presented to him. He was punctilious in the exaction +of this ceremony. The wits would perform the office of introduction with +overcharged pomp and politeness, but they could not easily overstep his +sense of its gravity. He received them in his poor room (he disliked an +introduction in the mere yard, as informal--a thing that might happen +to anybody), with a kind of bowed-down beneficence. They were welcome to +the Marshalsea, he would tell them. Yes, he was the Father of the place. +So the world was kind enough to call him; and so he was, if more than +twenty years of residence gave him a claim to the title. It looked +small at first, but there was very good company there--among a +mixture--necessarily a mixture--and very good air. + +It became a not unusual circumstance for letters to be put under his +door at night, enclosing half-a-crown, two half-crowns, now and then at +long intervals even half-a-sovereign, for the Father of the Marshalsea. +'With the compliments of a collegian taking leave.' He received the +gifts as tributes, from admirers, to a public character. Sometimes +these correspondents assumed facetious names, as the Brick, Bellows, Old +Gooseberry, Wideawake, Snooks, Mops, Cutaway, the Dogs-meat Man; but he +considered this in bad taste, and was always a little hurt by it. + +In the fulness of time, this correspondence showing signs of wearing +out, and seeming to require an effort on the part of the correspondents +to which in the hurried circumstances of departure many of them might +not be equal, he established the custom of attending collegians of +a certain standing, to the gate, and taking leave of them there. The +collegian under treatment, after shaking hands, would occasionally +stop to wrap up something in a bit of paper, and would come back again +calling 'Hi!' + +He would look round surprised.'Me?' he would say, with a smile. + +By this time the collegian would be up with him, and he would paternally +add,'What have you forgotten? What can I do for you?' + +'I forgot to leave this,' the collegian would usually return, 'for the +Father of the Marshalsea.' + +'My good sir,' he would rejoin, 'he is infinitely obliged to you.' But, +to the last, the irresolute hand of old would remain in the pocket into +which he had slipped the money during two or three turns about the yard, +lest the transaction should be too conspicuous to the general body of +collegians. + +One afternoon he had been doing the honours of the place to a rather +large party of collegians, who happened to be going out, when, as he was +coming back, he encountered one from the poor side who had been taken in +execution for a small sum a week before, had 'settled' in the course of +that afternoon, and was going out too. The man was a mere Plasterer in +his working dress; had his wife with him, and a bundle; and was in high +spirits. + +'God bless you, sir,' he said in passing. + +'And you,' benignantly returned the Father of the Marshalsea. + +They were pretty far divided, going their several ways, when the +Plasterer called out, 'I say!--sir!' and came back to him. + +'It ain't much,' said the Plasterer, putting a little pile of halfpence +in his hand, 'but it's well meant.' + +The Father of the Marshalsea had never been offered tribute in copper +yet. His children often had, and with his perfect acquiescence it had +gone into the common purse to buy meat that he had eaten, and drink that +he had drunk; but fustian splashed with white lime, bestowing halfpence +on him, front to front, was new. + +'How dare you!' he said to the man, and feebly burst into tears. + +The Plasterer turned him towards the wall, that his face might not be +seen; and the action was so delicate, and the man was so penetrated with +repentance, and asked pardon so honestly, that he could make him no less +acknowledgment than, 'I know you meant it kindly. Say no more.' + +'Bless your soul, sir,' urged the Plasterer, 'I did indeed. I'd do more +by you than the rest of 'em do, I fancy.' + +'What would you do?' he asked. + +'I'd come back to see you, after I was let out.' + +'Give me the money again,' said the other, eagerly, 'and I'll keep it, +and never spend it. Thank you for it, thank you! I shall see you again?' + +'If I live a week you shall.' + +They shook hands and parted. The collegians, assembled in Symposium in +the Snuggery that night, marvelled what had happened to their Father; he +walked so late in the shadows of the yard, and seemed so downcast. + + + + +CHAPTER 7. The Child of the Marshalsea + + +The baby whose first draught of air had been tinctured with Doctor +Haggage's brandy, was handed down among the generations of collegians, +like the tradition of their common parent. In the earlier stages of her +existence, she was handed down in a literal and prosaic sense; it being +almost a part of the entrance footing of every new collegian to nurse +the child who had been born in the college. + +'By rights,' remarked the turnkey when she was first shown to him, 'I +ought to be her godfather.' + +The debtor irresolutely thought of it for a minute, and said, 'Perhaps +you wouldn't object to really being her godfather?' + +'Oh! _I_ don't object,' replied the turnkey, 'if you don't.' + +Thus it came to pass that she was christened one Sunday afternoon, when +the turnkey, being relieved, was off the lock; and that the turnkey +went up to the font of Saint George's Church, and promised and vowed and +renounced on her behalf, as he himself related when he came back, 'like +a good 'un.' + +This invested the turnkey with a new proprietary share in the child, +over and above his former official one. When she began to walk and talk, +he became fond of her; bought a little arm-chair and stood it by the +high fender of the lodge fire-place; liked to have her company when he +was on the lock; and used to bribe her with cheap toys to come and talk +to him. The child, for her part, soon grew so fond of the turnkey that +she would come climbing up the lodge-steps of her own accord at all +hours of the day. When she fell asleep in the little armchair by the +high fender, the turnkey would cover her with his pocket-handkerchief; +and when she sat in it dressing and undressing a doll which soon came +to be unlike dolls on the other side of the lock, and to bear a horrible +family resemblance to Mrs Bangham--he would contemplate her from the +top of his stool with exceeding gentleness. Witnessing these things, +the collegians would express an opinion that the turnkey, who was a +bachelor, had been cut out by nature for a family man. But the turnkey +thanked them, and said, 'No, on the whole it was enough to see other +people's children there.' + +At what period of her early life the little creature began to perceive +that it was not the habit of all the world to live locked up in narrow +yards surrounded by high walls with spikes at the top, would be a +difficult question to settle. But she was a very, very little creature +indeed, when she had somehow gained the knowledge that her clasp of her +father's hand was to be always loosened at the door which the great key +opened; and that while her own light steps were free to pass beyond it, +his feet must never cross that line. A pitiful and plaintive look, with +which she had begun to regard him when she was still extremely young, +was perhaps a part of this discovery. + +With a pitiful and plaintive look for everything, indeed, but with +something in it for only him that was like protection, this Child of +the Marshalsea and the child of the Father of the Marshalsea, sat by her +friend the turnkey in the lodge, kept the family room, or wandered about +the prison-yard, for the first eight years of her life. With a pitiful +and plaintive look for her wayward sister; for her idle brother; for the +high blank walls; for the faded crowd they shut in; for the games of the +prison children as they whooped and ran, and played at hide-and-seek, +and made the iron bars of the inner gateway 'Home.' + +Wistful and wondering, she would sit in summer weather by the high +fender in the lodge, looking up at the sky through the barred window, +until, when she turned her eyes away, bars of light would arise between +her and her friend, and she would see him through a grating, too. + +'Thinking of the fields,' the turnkey said once, after watching her, +'ain't you?' + +'Where are they?' she inquired. + +'Why, they're--over there, my dear,' said the turnkey, with a vague +flourish of his key. 'Just about there.' + +'Does anybody open them, and shut them? Are they locked?' + +The turnkey was discomfited. 'Well,' he said. 'Not in general.' + +'Are they very pretty, Bob?' She called him Bob, by his own particular +request and instruction. + +'Lovely. Full of flowers. There's buttercups, and there's daisies, +and there's'--the turnkey hesitated, being short of floral +nomenclature--'there's dandelions, and all manner of games.' + +'Is it very pleasant to be there, Bob?' + +'Prime,' said the turnkey. + +'Was father ever there?' + +'Hem!' coughed the turnkey. 'O yes, he was there, sometimes.' + +'Is he sorry not to be there now?' + +'N-not particular,' said the turnkey. + +'Nor any of the people?' she asked, glancing at the listless crowd +within. 'O are you quite sure and certain, Bob?' + +At this difficult point of the conversation Bob gave in, and changed the +subject to hard-bake: always his last resource when he found his little +friend getting him into a political, social, or theological corner. +But this was the origin of a series of Sunday excursions that these two +curious companions made together. They used to issue from the lodge on +alternate Sunday afternoons with great gravity, bound for some meadows +or green lanes that had been elaborately appointed by the turnkey in +the course of the week; and there she picked grass and flowers to bring +home, while he smoked his pipe. Afterwards, there were tea-gardens, +shrimps, ale, and other delicacies; and then they would come back hand +in hand, unless she was more than usually tired, and had fallen asleep +on his shoulder. + +In those early days, the turnkey first began profoundly to consider +a question which cost him so much mental labour, that it remained +undetermined on the day of his death. He decided to will and bequeath +his little property of savings to his godchild, and the point arose how +could it be so 'tied up' as that only she should have the benefit of +it? His experience on the lock gave him such an acute perception of the +enormous difficulty of 'tying up' money with any approach to tightness, +and contrariwise of the remarkable ease with which it got loose, that +through a series of years he regularly propounded this knotty point to +every new insolvent agent and other professional gentleman who passed in +and out. + +'Supposing,' he would say, stating the case with his key on the +professional gentleman's waistcoat; 'supposing a man wanted to leave his +property to a young female, and wanted to tie it up so that nobody else +should ever be able to make a grab at it; how would you tie up that +property?' + +'Settle it strictly on herself,' the professional gentleman would +complacently answer. + +'But look here,' quoth the turnkey. 'Supposing she had, say a brother, +say a father, say a husband, who would be likely to make a grab at that +property when she came into it--how about that?' + +'It would be settled on herself, and they would have no more legal claim +on it than you,' would be the professional answer. + +'Stop a bit,' said the turnkey. 'Supposing she was tender-hearted, and +they came over her. Where's your law for tying it up then?' + +The deepest character whom the turnkey sounded, was unable to produce +his law for tying such a knot as that. So, the turnkey thought about it +all his life, and died intestate after all. + +But that was long afterwards, when his god-daughter was past sixteen. +The first half of that space of her life was only just accomplished, +when her pitiful and plaintive look saw her father a widower. From that +time the protection that her wondering eyes had expressed towards him, +became embodied in action, and the Child of the Marshalsea took upon +herself a new relation towards the Father. + +At first, such a baby could do little more than sit with him, deserting +her livelier place by the high fender, and quietly watching him. But +this made her so far necessary to him that he became accustomed to her, +and began to be sensible of missing her when she was not there. Through +this little gate, she passed out of childhood into the care-laden world. + +What her pitiful look saw, at that early time, in her father, in her +sister, in her brother, in the jail; how much, or how little of the +wretched truth it pleased God to make visible to her; lies hidden with +many mysteries. It is enough that she was inspired to be something which +was not what the rest were, and to be that something, different and +laborious, for the sake of the rest. Inspired? Yes. Shall we speak of +the inspiration of a poet or a priest, and not of the heart impelled by +love and self-devotion to the lowliest work in the lowliest way of life! + +With no earthly friend to help her, or so much as to see her, but the +one so strangely assorted; with no knowledge even of the common daily +tone and habits of the common members of the free community who are not +shut up in prisons; born and bred in a social condition, false even with +a reference to the falsest condition outside the walls; drinking from +infancy of a well whose waters had their own peculiar stain, their own +unwholesome and unnatural taste; the Child of the Marshalsea began her +womanly life. + +No matter through what mistakes and discouragements, what ridicule (not +unkindly meant, but deeply felt) of her youth and little figure, what +humble consciousness of her own babyhood and want of strength, even +in the matter of lifting and carrying; through how much weariness +and hopelessness, and how many secret tears; she drudged on, until +recognised as useful, even indispensable. That time came. She took the +place of eldest of the three, in all things but precedence; was the +head of the fallen family; and bore, in her own heart, its anxieties and +shames. + +At thirteen, she could read and keep accounts, that is, could put down +in words and figures how much the bare necessaries that they wanted +would cost, and how much less they had to buy them with. She had been, +by snatches of a few weeks at a time, to an evening school outside, +and got her sister and brother sent to day-schools by desultory starts, +during three or four years. There was no instruction for any of them at +home; but she knew well--no one better--that a man so broken as to be +the Father of the Marshalsea, could be no father to his own children. + +To these scanty means of improvement, she added another of her own +contriving. Once, among the heterogeneous crowd of inmates there +appeared a dancing-master. Her sister had a great desire to learn the +dancing-master's art, and seemed to have a taste that way. At thirteen +years old, the Child of the Marshalsea presented herself to the +dancing-master, with a little bag in her hand, and preferred her humble +petition. + +'If you please, I was born here, sir.' + +'Oh! You are the young lady, are you?' said the dancing-master, +surveying the small figure and uplifted face. + +'Yes, sir.' + +'And what can I do for you?' said the dancing-master. + +'Nothing for me, sir, thank you,' anxiously undrawing the strings of +the little bag; 'but if, while you stay here, you could be so kind as to +teach my sister cheap--' + +'My child, I'll teach her for nothing,' said the dancing-master, +shutting up the bag. He was as good-natured a dancing-master as ever +danced to the Insolvent Court, and he kept his word. The sister was so +apt a pupil, and the dancing-master had such abundant leisure to bestow +upon her (for it took him a matter of ten weeks to set to his creditors, +lead off, turn the Commissioners, and right and left back to his +professional pursuits), that wonderful progress was made. Indeed the +dancing-master was so proud of it, and so wishful to display it before +he left to a few select friends among the collegians, that at six +o'clock on a certain fine morning, a minuet de la cour came off in +the yard--the college-rooms being of too confined proportions for the +purpose--in which so much ground was covered, and the steps were so +conscientiously executed, that the dancing-master, having to play the +kit besides, was thoroughly blown. + +The success of this beginning, which led to the dancing-master's +continuing his instruction after his release, emboldened the poor child +to try again. She watched and waited months for a seamstress. In the +fulness of time a milliner came in, and to her she repaired on her own +behalf. + +'I beg your pardon, ma'am,' she said, looking timidly round the door of +the milliner, whom she found in tears and in bed: 'but I was born here.' + +Everybody seemed to hear of her as soon as they arrived; for the +milliner sat up in bed, drying her eyes, and said, just as the +dancing-master had said: + +'Oh! _You_ are the child, are you?' + +'Yes, ma'am.' + +'I am sorry I haven't got anything for you,' said the milliner, shaking +her head. + +'It's not that, ma'am. If you please I want to learn needle-work.' + +'Why should you do that,' returned the milliner, 'with me before you? It +has not done me much good.' + +'Nothing--whatever it is--seems to have done anybody much good who comes +here,' she returned in all simplicity; 'but I want to learn just the +same.' + +'I am afraid you are so weak, you see,' the milliner objected. + +'I don't think I am weak, ma'am.' + +'And you are so very, very little, you see,' the milliner objected. + +'Yes, I am afraid I am very little indeed,' returned the Child of the +Marshalsea; and so began to sob over that unfortunate defect of hers, +which came so often in her way. The milliner--who was not morose or +hard-hearted, only newly insolvent--was touched, took her in hand with +goodwill, found her the most patient and earnest of pupils, and made her +a cunning work-woman in course of time. + +In course of time, and in the very self-same course of time, the Father +of the Marshalsea gradually developed a new flower of character. The +more Fatherly he grew as to the Marshalsea, and the more dependent he +became on the contributions of his changing family, the greater stand +he made by his forlorn gentility. With the same hand that he pocketed +a collegian's half-crown half an hour ago, he would wipe away the +tears that streamed over his cheeks if any reference were made to his +daughters' earning their bread. So, over and above other daily cares, +the Child of the Marshalsea had always upon her the care of preserving +the genteel fiction that they were all idle beggars together. + +The sister became a dancer. There was a ruined uncle in the family +group--ruined by his brother, the Father of the Marshalsea, and knowing +no more how than his ruiner did, but accepting the fact as an inevitable +certainty--on whom her protection devolved. Naturally a retired and +simple man, he had shown no particular sense of being ruined at the time +when that calamity fell upon him, further than that he left off washing +himself when the shock was announced, and never took to that luxury any +more. He had been a very indifferent musical amateur in his better days; +and when he fell with his brother, resorted for support to playing a +clarionet as dirty as himself in a small Theatre Orchestra. It was the +theatre in which his niece became a dancer; he had been a fixture there +a long time when she took her poor station in it; and he accepted +the task of serving as her escort and guardian, just as he would have +accepted an illness, a legacy, a feast, starvation--anything but soap. + +To enable this girl to earn her few weekly shillings, it was necessary +for the Child of the Marshalsea to go through an elaborate form with the +Father. + +'Fanny is not going to live with us just now, father. She will be here a +good deal in the day, but she is going to live outside with uncle.' + +'You surprise me. Why?' + +'I think uncle wants a companion, father. He should be attended to, and +looked after.' + +'A companion? He passes much of his time here. And you attend to him and +look after him, Amy, a great deal more than ever your sister will. You +all go out so much; you all go out so much.' + +This was to keep up the ceremony and pretence of his having no idea that +Amy herself went out by the day to work. + +'But we are always glad to come home, father; now, are we not? And as to +Fanny, perhaps besides keeping uncle company and taking care of him, it +may be as well for her not quite to live here, always. She was not born +here as I was, you know, father.' + +'Well, Amy, well. I don't quite follow you, but it's natural I suppose +that Fanny should prefer to be outside, and even that you often should, +too. So, you and Fanny and your uncle, my dear, shall have your own way. +Good, good. I'll not meddle; don't mind me.' + +To get her brother out of the prison; out of the succession to Mrs +Bangham in executing commissions, and out of the slang interchange with +very doubtful companions consequent upon both; was her hardest task. At +eighteen he would have dragged on from hand to mouth, from hour to hour, +from penny to penny, until eighty. Nobody got into the prison from whom +he derived anything useful or good, and she could find no patron for him +but her old friend and godfather. + +'Dear Bob,' said she, 'what is to become of poor Tip?' His name was +Edward, and Ted had been transformed into Tip, within the walls. + +The turnkey had strong private opinions as to what would become of +poor Tip, and had even gone so far with the view of averting their +fulfilment, as to sound Tip in reference to the expediency of running +away and going to serve his country. But Tip had thanked him, and said +he didn't seem to care for his country. + +'Well, my dear,' said the turnkey, 'something ought to be done with him. +Suppose I try and get him into the law?' + +'That would be so good of you, Bob!' + +The turnkey had now two points to put to the professional gentlemen as +they passed in and out. He put this second one so perseveringly that +a stool and twelve shillings a week were at last found for Tip in the +office of an attorney in a great National Palladium called the Palace +Court; at that time one of a considerable list of everlasting bulwarks +to the dignity and safety of Albion, whose places know them no more. + +Tip languished in Clifford's Inns for six months, and at the expiration +of that term sauntered back one evening with his hands in his pockets, +and incidentally observed to his sister that he was not going back +again. + +'Not going back again?' said the poor little anxious Child of the +Marshalsea, always calculating and planning for Tip, in the front rank +of her charges. + +'I am so tired of it,' said Tip, 'that I have cut it.' + +Tip tired of everything. With intervals of Marshalsea lounging, and Mrs +Bangham succession, his small second mother, aided by her trusty friend, +got him into a warehouse, into a market garden, into the hop trade, +into the law again, into an auctioneers, into a brewery, into a +stockbroker's, into the law again, into a coach office, into a waggon +office, into the law again, into a general dealer's, into a distillery, +into the law again, into a wool house, into a dry goods house, into the +Billingsgate trade, into the foreign fruit trade, and into the docks. +But whatever Tip went into, he came out of tired, announcing that he +had cut it. Wherever he went, this foredoomed Tip appeared to take the +prison walls with him, and to set them up in such trade or calling; +and to prowl about within their narrow limits in the old slip-shod, +purposeless, down-at-heel way; until the real immovable Marshalsea walls +asserted their fascination over him, and brought him back. + +Nevertheless, the brave little creature did so fix her heart on her +brother's rescue, that while he was ringing out these doleful changes, +she pinched and scraped enough together to ship him for Canada. When he +was tired of nothing to do, and disposed in its turn to cut even that, +he graciously consented to go to Canada. And there was grief in her +bosom over parting with him, and joy in the hope of his being put in a +straight course at last. + +'God bless you, dear Tip. Don't be too proud to come and see us, when +you have made your fortune.' + +'All right!' said Tip, and went. + +But not all the way to Canada; in fact, not further than Liverpool. +After making the voyage to that port from London, he found himself +so strongly impelled to cut the vessel, that he resolved to walk back +again. Carrying out which intention, he presented himself before her at +the expiration of a month, in rags, without shoes, and much more tired +than ever. + +At length, after another interval of successorship to Mrs Bangham, he +found a pursuit for himself, and announced it. + +'Amy, I have got a situation.' + +'Have you really and truly, Tip?' + +'All right. I shall do now. You needn't look anxious about me any more, +old girl.' + +'What is it, Tip?' + +'Why, you know Slingo by sight?' + +'Not the man they call the dealer?' + +'That's the chap. He'll be out on Monday, and he's going to give me a +berth.' + +'What is he a dealer in, Tip?' + +'Horses. All right! I shall do now, Amy.' + +She lost sight of him for months afterwards, and only heard from him +once. A whisper passed among the elder collegians that he had been seen +at a mock auction in Moorfields, pretending to buy plated articles for +massive silver, and paying for them with the greatest liberality in +bank notes; but it never reached her ears. One evening she was alone at +work--standing up at the window, to save the twilight lingering above +the wall--when he opened the door and walked in. + +She kissed and welcomed him; but was afraid to ask him any questions. He +saw how anxious and timid she was, and appeared sorry. + +'I am afraid, Amy, you'll be vexed this time. Upon my life I am!' + +'I am very sorry to hear you say so, Tip. Have you come back?' + +'Why--yes.' + +'Not expecting this time that what you had found would answer very well, +I am less surprised and sorry than I might have been, Tip.' + +'Ah! But that's not the worst of it.' + +'Not the worst of it?' + +'Don't look so startled. No, Amy, not the worst of it. I have come back, +you see; but--_don't_ look so startled--I have come back in what I may +call a new way. I am off the volunteer list altogether. I am in now, as +one of the regulars.' + +'Oh! Don't say you are a prisoner, Tip! Don't, don't!' + +'Well, I don't want to say it,' he returned in a reluctant tone; 'but if +you can't understand me without my saying it, what am I to do? I am in +for forty pound odd.' + +For the first time in all those years, she sunk under her cares. She +cried, with her clasped hands lifted above her head, that it would kill +their father if he ever knew it; and fell down at Tip's graceless feet. + +It was easier for Tip to bring her to her senses than for her to bring +_him_ to understand that the Father of the Marshalsea would be beside +himself if he knew the truth. The thing was incomprehensible to Tip, and +altogether a fanciful notion. He yielded to it in that light only, when +he submitted to her entreaties, backed by those of his uncle and sister. +There was no want of precedent for his return; it was accounted for +to the father in the usual way; and the collegians, with a better +comprehension of the pious fraud than Tip, supported it loyally. + +This was the life, and this the history, of the child of the Marshalsea +at twenty-two. With a still surviving attachment to the one miserable +yard and block of houses as her birthplace and home, she passed to and +fro in it shrinkingly now, with a womanly consciousness that she was +pointed out to every one. Since she had begun to work beyond the walls, +she had found it necessary to conceal where she lived, and to come and +go as secretly as she could, between the free city and the iron gates, +outside of which she had never slept in her life. Her original timidity +had grown with this concealment, and her light step and her little +figure shunned the thronged streets while they passed along them. + +Worldly wise in hard and poor necessities, she was innocent in all +things else. Innocent, in the mist through which she saw her father, +and the prison, and the turbid living river that flowed through it and +flowed on. + +This was the life, and this the history, of Little Dorrit; now going +home upon a dull September evening, observed at a distance by Arthur +Clennam. This was the life, and this the history, of Little Dorrit; +turning at the end of London Bridge, recrossing it, going back again, +passing on to Saint George's Church, turning back suddenly once more, +and flitting in at the open outer gate and little court-yard of the +Marshalsea. + + + + +CHAPTER 8. The Lock + + +Arthur Clennam stood in the street, waiting to ask some passer-by what +place that was. He suffered a few people to pass him in whose face there +was no encouragement to make the inquiry, and still stood pausing in the +street, when an old man came up and turned into the courtyard. + +He stooped a good deal, and plodded along in a slow pre-occupied manner, +which made the bustling London thoroughfares no very safe resort for +him. He was dirtily and meanly dressed, in a threadbare coat, once blue, +reaching to his ankles and buttoned to his chin, where it vanished in +the pale ghost of a velvet collar. A piece of red cloth with which that +phantom had been stiffened in its lifetime was now laid bare, and poked +itself up, at the back of the old man's neck, into a confusion of grey +hair and rusty stock and buckle which altogether nearly poked his +hat off. A greasy hat it was, and a napless; impending over his eyes, +cracked and crumpled at the brim, and with a wisp of pocket-handkerchief +dangling out below it. His trousers were so long and loose, and his +shoes so clumsy and large, that he shuffled like an elephant; though how +much of this was gait, and how much trailing cloth and leather, no one +could have told. Under one arm he carried a limp and worn-out case, +containing some wind instrument; in the same hand he had a pennyworth +of snuff in a little packet of whitey-brown paper, from which he slowly +comforted his poor blue old nose with a lengthened-out pinch, as Arthur +Clennam looked at him. + +To this old man crossing the court-yard, he preferred his inquiry, +touching him on the shoulder. The old man stopped and looked round, with +the expression in his weak grey eyes of one whose thoughts had been far +off, and who was a little dull of hearing also. + +'Pray, sir,' said Arthur, repeating his question, 'what is this place?' + +'Ay! This place?' returned the old man, staying his pinch of snuff on +its road, and pointing at the place without looking at it. 'This is the +Marshalsea, sir.' + +'The debtors' prison?' + +'Sir,' said the old man, with the air of deeming it not quite necessary +to insist upon that designation, 'the debtors' prison.' + +He turned himself about, and went on. + +'I beg your pardon,' said Arthur, stopping him once more, 'but will you +allow me to ask you another question? Can any one go in here?' + +'Any one can _go in_,' replied the old man; plainly adding by the +significance of his emphasis, 'but it is not every one who can go out.' + +'Pardon me once more. Are you familiar with the place?' + +'Sir,' returned the old man, squeezing his little packet of snuff in his +hand, and turning upon his interrogator as if such questions hurt him. +'I am.' + +'I beg you to excuse me. I am not impertinently curious, but have a good +object. Do you know the name of Dorrit here?' + +'My name, sir,' replied the old man most unexpectedly, 'is Dorrit.' + +Arthur pulled off his hat to him. 'Grant me the favour of half-a-dozen +words. I was wholly unprepared for your announcement, and hope that +assurance is my sufficient apology for having taken the liberty of +addressing you. I have recently come home to England after a long +absence. I have seen at my mother's--Mrs Clennam in the city--a young +woman working at her needle, whom I have only heard addressed or spoken +of as Little Dorrit. I have felt sincerely interested in her, and have +had a great desire to know something more about her. I saw her, not a +minute before you came up, pass in at that door.' + +The old man looked at him attentively. 'Are you a sailor, sir?' he +asked. He seemed a little disappointed by the shake of the head that +replied to him. 'Not a sailor? I judged from your sunburnt face that you +might be. Are you in earnest, sir?' + +'I do assure you that I am, and do entreat you to believe that I am, in +plain earnest.' + +'I know very little of the world, sir,' returned the other, who had a +weak and quavering voice. 'I am merely passing on, like the shadow over +the sun-dial. It would be worth no man's while to mislead me; it would +really be too easy--too poor a success, to yield any satisfaction. The +young woman whom you saw go in here is my brother's child. My brother +is William Dorrit; I am Frederick. You say you have seen her at your +mother's (I know your mother befriends her), you have felt an interest +in her, and you wish to know what she does here. Come and see.' + +He went on again, and Arthur accompanied him. + +'My brother,' said the old man, pausing on the step and slowly facing +round again, 'has been here many years; and much that happens even among +ourselves, out of doors, is kept from him for reasons that I needn't +enter upon now. Be so good as to say nothing of my niece's working at +her needle. Be so good as to say nothing that goes beyond what is said +among us. If you keep within our bounds, you cannot well be wrong. Now! +Come and see.' + +Arthur followed him down a narrow entry, at the end of which a key was +turned, and a strong door was opened from within. It admitted them into +a lodge or lobby, across which they passed, and so through another door +and a grating into the prison. The old man always plodding on before, +turned round, in his slow, stiff, stooping manner, when they came to the +turnkey on duty, as if to present his companion. The turnkey nodded; and +the companion passed in without being asked whom he wanted. + +The night was dark; and the prison lamps in the yard, and the candles in +the prison windows faintly shining behind many sorts of wry old curtain +and blind, had not the air of making it lighter. A few people loitered +about, but the greater part of the population was within doors. The old +man, taking the right-hand side of the yard, turned in at the third or +fourth doorway, and began to ascend the stairs. 'They are rather dark, +sir, but you will not find anything in the way.' + +He paused for a moment before opening a door on the second story. He had +no sooner turned the handle than the visitor saw Little Dorrit, and saw +the reason of her setting so much store by dining alone. + +She had brought the meat home that she should have eaten herself, and +was already warming it on a gridiron over the fire for her father, clad +in an old grey gown and a black cap, awaiting his supper at the table. +A clean cloth was spread before him, with knife, fork, and spoon, +salt-cellar, pepper-box, glass, and pewter ale-pot. Such zests as his +particular little phial of cayenne pepper and his pennyworth of pickles +in a saucer, were not wanting. + +She started, coloured deeply, and turned white. The visitor, more with +his eyes than by the slight impulsive motion of his hand, entreated her +to be reassured and to trust him. + +'I found this gentleman,' said the uncle--'Mr Clennam, William, son of +Amy's friend--at the outer gate, wishful, as he was going by, of paying +his respects, but hesitating whether to come in or not. This is my +brother William, sir.' + +'I hope,' said Arthur, very doubtful what to say, 'that my respect for +your daughter may explain and justify my desire to be presented to you, +sir.' + +'Mr Clennam,' returned the other, rising, taking his cap off in the +flat of his hand, and so holding it, ready to put on again, 'you do me +honour. You are welcome, sir;' with a low bow. 'Frederick, a chair. Pray +sit down, Mr Clennam.' + +He put his black cap on again as he had taken it off, and resumed his +own seat. There was a wonderful air of benignity and patronage in his +manner. These were the ceremonies with which he received the collegians. + +'You are welcome to the Marshalsea, sir. I have welcomed many gentlemen +to these walls. Perhaps you are aware--my daughter Amy may have +mentioned that I am the Father of this place.' + +'I--so I have understood,' said Arthur, dashing at the assertion. + +'You know, I dare say, that my daughter Amy was born here. A good girl, +sir, a dear girl, and long a comfort and support to me. Amy, my dear, +put this dish on; Mr Clennam will excuse the primitive customs to which +we are reduced here. Is it a compliment to ask you if you would do me +the honour, sir, to--' + +'Thank you,' returned Arthur. 'Not a morsel.' + +He felt himself quite lost in wonder at the manner of the man, and that +the probability of his daughter's having had a reserve as to her family +history, should be so far out of his mind. + +She filled his glass, put all the little matters on the table ready to +his hand, and then sat beside him while he ate his supper. Evidently in +observance of their nightly custom, she put some bread before herself, +and touched his glass with her lips; but Arthur saw she was troubled +and took nothing. Her look at her father, half admiring him and proud +of him, half ashamed for him, all devoted and loving, went to his inmost +heart. + +The Father of the Marshalsea condescended towards his brother as an +amiable, well-meaning man; a private character, who had not arrived at +distinction. 'Frederick,' said he, 'you and Fanny sup at your lodgings +to-night, I know. What have you done with Fanny, Frederick?' + +'She is walking with Tip.' + +'Tip--as you may know--is my son, Mr Clennam. He has been a little +wild, and difficult to settle, but his introduction to the world was +rather'--he shrugged his shoulders with a faint sigh, and looked round +the room--'a little adverse. Your first visit here, sir?' + +'My first.' + +'You could hardly have been here since your boyhood without my +knowledge. It very seldom happens that anybody--of any pretensions--any +pretensions--comes here without being presented to me.' + +'As many as forty or fifty in a day have been introduced to my brother,' +said Frederick, faintly lighting up with a ray of pride. + +'Yes!' the Father of the Marshalsea assented. 'We have even exceeded +that number. On a fine Sunday in term time, it is quite a Levee--quite +a Levee. Amy, my dear, I have been trying half the day to remember the +name of the gentleman from Camberwell who was introduced to me last +Christmas week by that agreeable coal-merchant who was remanded for six +months.' + +'I don't remember his name, father.' + +'Frederick, do _you_ remember his name?' + +Frederick doubted if he had ever heard it. No one could doubt that +Frederick was the last person upon earth to put such a question to, with +any hope of information. + +'I mean,' said his brother, 'the gentleman who did that handsome action +with so much delicacy. Ha! Tush! The name has quite escaped me. Mr +Clennam, as I have happened to mention handsome and delicate action, you +may like, perhaps, to know what it was.' + +'Very much,' said Arthur, withdrawing his eyes from the delicate head +beginning to droop and the pale face with a new solicitude stealing over +it. + +'It is so generous, and shows so much fine feeling, that it is almost a +duty to mention it. I said at the time that I always would mention it +on every suitable occasion, without regard to personal sensitiveness. +A--well--a--it's of no use to disguise the fact--you must know, Mr +Clennam, that it does sometimes occur that people who come here desire +to offer some little--Testimonial--to the Father of the place.' + +To see her hand upon his arm in mute entreaty half-repressed, and her +timid little shrinking figure turning away, was to see a sad, sad sight. + +'Sometimes,' he went on in a low, soft voice, agitated, and clearing +his throat every now and then; 'sometimes--hem--it takes one shape and +sometimes another; but it is generally--ha--Money. And it is, I cannot +but confess it, it is too often--hem--acceptable. This gentleman that I +refer to, was presented to me, Mr Clennam, in a manner highly gratifying +to my feelings, and conversed not only with great politeness, but with +great--ahem--information.' All this time, though he had finished his +supper, he was nervously going about his plate with his knife and +fork, as if some of it were still before him. 'It appeared from his +conversation that he had a garden, though he was delicate of mentioning +it at first, as gardens are--hem--are not accessible to me. But it came +out, through my admiring a very fine cluster of geranium--beautiful +cluster of geranium to be sure--which he had brought from his +conservatory. On my taking notice of its rich colour, he showed me a +piece of paper round it, on which was written, "For the Father of the +Marshalsea," and presented it to me. But this was--hem--not all. He made +a particular request, on taking leave, that I would remove the paper in +half an hour. I--ha--I did so; and I found that it contained--ahem--two +guineas. I assure you, Mr Clennam, I have received--hem--Testimonials +in many ways, and of many degrees of value, and they have always +been--ha--unfortunately acceptable; but I never was more pleased than +with this--ahem--this particular Testimonial.' + +Arthur was in the act of saying the little he could say on such a theme, +when a bell began to ring, and footsteps approached the door. A pretty +girl of a far better figure and much more developed than Little Dorrit, +though looking much younger in the face when the two were observed +together, stopped in the doorway on seeing a stranger; and a young man +who was with her, stopped too. + +'Mr Clennam, Fanny. My eldest daughter and my son, Mr Clennam. The bell +is a signal for visitors to retire, and so they have come to say good +night; but there is plenty of time, plenty of time. Girls, Mr Clennam +will excuse any household business you may have together. He knows, I +dare say, that I have but one room here.' + +'I only want my clean dress from Amy, father,' said the second girl. + +'And I my clothes,' said Tip. + +Amy opened a drawer in an old piece of furniture that was a chest of +drawers above and a bedstead below, and produced two little bundles, +which she handed to her brother and sister. 'Mended and made up?' +Clennam heard the sister ask in a whisper. To which Amy answered 'Yes.' +He had risen now, and took the opportunity of glancing round the room. +The bare walls had been coloured green, evidently by an unskilled hand, +and were poorly decorated with a few prints. The window was curtained, +and the floor carpeted; and there were shelves and pegs, and other such +conveniences, that had accumulated in the course of years. It was a +close, confined room, poorly furnished; and the chimney smoked to boot, +or the tin screen at the top of the fireplace was superfluous; but +constant pains and care had made it neat, and even, after its kind, +comfortable. + +All the while the bell was ringing, and the uncle was anxious to go. +'Come, Fanny, come, Fanny,' he said, with his ragged clarionet case +under his arm; 'the lock, child, the lock!' + +Fanny bade her father good night, and whisked off airily. Tip had +already clattered down-stairs. 'Now, Mr Clennam,' said the uncle, +looking back as he shuffled out after them, 'the lock, sir, the lock.' + +Mr Clennam had two things to do before he followed; one, to offer his +testimonial to the Father of the Marshalsea, without giving pain to his +child; the other to say something to that child, though it were but a +word, in explanation of his having come there. + +'Allow me,' said the Father, 'to see you down-stairs.' + +She had slipped out after the rest, and they were alone. 'Not on any +account,' said the visitor, hurriedly. 'Pray allow me to--' chink, +chink, chink. + +'Mr Clennam,' said the Father, 'I am deeply, deeply--' But his visitor +had shut up his hand to stop the clinking, and had gone down-stairs with +great speed. + +He saw no Little Dorrit on his way down, or in the yard. The last two or +three stragglers were hurrying to the lodge, and he was following, +when he caught sight of her in the doorway of the first house from the +entrance. He turned back hastily. + +'Pray forgive me,' he said, 'for speaking to you here; pray forgive me +for coming here at all! I followed you to-night. I did so, that I might +endeavour to render you and your family some service. You know the +terms on which I and my mother are, and may not be surprised that I +have preserved our distant relations at her house, lest I should +unintentionally make her jealous, or resentful, or do you any injury in +her estimation. What I have seen here, in this short time, has greatly +increased my heartfelt wish to be a friend to you. It would recompense +me for much disappointment if I could hope to gain your confidence.' + +She was scared at first, but seemed to take courage while he spoke to +her. + +'You are very good, sir. You speak very earnestly to me. But I--but I +wish you had not watched me.' + +He understood the emotion with which she said it, to arise in her +father's behalf; and he respected it, and was silent. + +'Mrs Clennam has been of great service to me; I don't know what we +should have done without the employment she has given me; I am afraid +it may not be a good return to become secret with her; I can say no more +to-night, sir. I am sure you mean to be kind to us. Thank you, thank +you.' + +'Let me ask you one question before I leave. Have you known my mother +long?' + +'I think two years, sir,--The bell has stopped.' + +'How did you know her first? Did she send here for you?' + +'No. She does not even know that I live here. We have a friend, father +and I--a poor labouring man, but the best of friends--and I wrote out +that I wished to do needlework, and gave his address. And he got what +I wrote out displayed at a few places where it cost nothing, and Mrs +Clennam found me that way, and sent for me. The gate will be locked, +sir!' + +She was so tremulous and agitated, and he was so moved by compassion for +her, and by deep interest in her story as it dawned upon him, that he +could scarcely tear himself away. But the stoppage of the bell, and the +quiet in the prison, were a warning to depart; and with a few hurried +words of kindness he left her gliding back to her father. + +But he remained too late. The inner gate was locked, and the lodge +closed. After a little fruitless knocking with his hand, he was standing +there with the disagreeable conviction upon him that he had got to get +through the night, when a voice accosted him from behind. + +'Caught, eh?' said the voice. 'You won't go home till morning. Oh! It's +you, is it, Mr Clennam?' + +The voice was Tip's; and they stood looking at one another in the +prison-yard, as it began to rain. + +'You've done it,' observed Tip; 'you must be sharper than that next +time.' + +'But you are locked in too,' said Arthur. + +'I believe I am!' said Tip, sarcastically. 'About! But not in your way. +I belong to the shop, only my sister has a theory that our governor must +never know it. I don't see why, myself.' + +'Can I get any shelter?' asked Arthur. 'What had I better do?' + +'We had better get hold of Amy first of all,' said Tip, referring any +difficulty to her as a matter of course. + +'I would rather walk about all night--it's not much to do--than give +that trouble.' + +'You needn't do that, if you don't mind paying for a bed. If you don't +mind paying, they'll make you up one on the Snuggery table, under the +circumstances. If you'll come along, I'll introduce you there.' + +As they passed down the yard, Arthur looked up at the window of the room +he had lately left, where the light was still burning. 'Yes, sir,' said +Tip, following his glance. 'That's the governor's. She'll sit with him +for another hour reading yesterday's paper to him, or something of that +sort; and then she'll come out like a little ghost, and vanish away +without a sound.' + +'I don't understand you.' + +'The governor sleeps up in the room, and she has a lodging at the +turnkey's. First house there,' said Tip, pointing out the doorway into +which she had retired. 'First house, sky parlour. She pays twice as much +for it as she would for one twice as good outside. But she stands by the +governor, poor dear girl, day and night.' + +This brought them to the tavern-establishment at the upper end of the +prison, where the collegians had just vacated their social evening club. +The apartment on the ground-floor in which it was held, was the Snuggery +in question; the presidential tribune of the chairman, the pewter-pots, +glasses, pipes, tobacco-ashes, and general flavour of members, were +still as that convivial institution had left them on its adjournment. +The Snuggery had two of the qualities popularly held to be essential to +grog for ladies, in respect that it was hot and strong; but in the third +point of analogy, requiring plenty of it, the Snuggery was defective; +being but a cooped-up apartment. + +The unaccustomed visitor from outside, naturally assumed everybody here +to be prisoners--landlord, waiter, barmaid, potboy, and all. Whether +they were or not, did not appear; but they all had a weedy look. The +keeper of a chandler's shop in a front parlour, who took in gentlemen +boarders, lent his assistance in making the bed. He had been a tailor in +his time, and had kept a phaeton, he said. He boasted that he stood up +litigiously for the interests of the college; and he had undefined and +undefinable ideas that the marshal intercepted a 'Fund,' which ought to +come to the collegians. He liked to believe this, and always impressed +the shadowy grievance on new-comers and strangers; though he could not, +for his life, have explained what Fund he meant, or how the notion had +got rooted in his soul. He had fully convinced himself, notwithstanding, +that his own proper share of the Fund was three and ninepence a week; +and that in this amount he, as an individual collegian, was swindled by +the marshal, regularly every Monday. Apparently, he helped to make the +bed, that he might not lose an opportunity of stating this case; after +which unloading of his mind, and after announcing (as it seemed he +always did, without anything coming of it) that he was going to write a +letter to the papers and show the marshal up, he fell into miscellaneous +conversation with the rest. It was evident from the general tone of the +whole party, that they had come to regard insolvency as the normal state +of mankind, and the payment of debts as a disease that occasionally +broke out. + +In this strange scene, and with these strange spectres flitting about +him, Arthur Clennam looked on at the preparations as if they were part +of a dream. Pending which, the long-initiated Tip, with an awful +enjoyment of the Snuggery's resources, pointed out the common kitchen +fire maintained by subscription of collegians, the boiler for hot water +supported in like manner, and other premises generally tending to the +deduction that the way to be healthy, wealthy, and wise, was to come to +the Marshalsea. + +The two tables put together in a corner, were, at length, converted into +a very fair bed; and the stranger was left to the Windsor chairs, +the presidential tribune, the beery atmosphere, sawdust, pipe-lights, +spittoons and repose. But the last item was long, long, long, in linking +itself to the rest. The novelty of the place, the coming upon it without +preparation, the sense of being locked up, the remembrance of that room +up-stairs, of the two brothers, and above all of the retiring childish +form, and the face in which he now saw years of insufficient food, if +not of want, kept him waking and unhappy. + +Speculations, too, bearing the strangest relations towards the prison, +but always concerning the prison, ran like nightmares through his mind +while he lay awake. Whether coffins were kept ready for people who might +die there, where they were kept, how they were kept, where people who +died in the prison were buried, how they were taken out, what forms were +observed, whether an implacable creditor could arrest the dead? As to +escaping, what chances there were of escape? Whether a prisoner could +scale the walls with a cord and grapple, how he would descend upon +the other side? whether he could alight on a housetop, steal down a +staircase, let himself out at a door, and get lost in the crowd? As to +Fire in the prison, if one were to break out while he lay there? + +And these involuntary starts of fancy were, after all, but the setting +of a picture in which three people kept before him. His father, with the +steadfast look with which he had died, prophetically darkened forth in +the portrait; his mother, with her arm up, warding off his suspicion; +Little Dorrit, with her hand on the degraded arm, and her drooping head +turned away. + +What if his mother had an old reason she well knew for softening to +this poor girl! What if the prisoner now sleeping quietly--Heaven grant +it!--by the light of the great Day of judgment should trace back his +fall to her. What if any act of hers and of his father's, should have +even remotely brought the grey heads of those two brothers so low! + +A swift thought shot into his mind. In that long imprisonment here, and +in her own long confinement to her room, did his mother find a balance +to be struck? 'I admit that I was accessory to that man's captivity. I +have suffered for it in kind. He has decayed in his prison: I in mine. I +have paid the penalty.' + +When all the other thoughts had faded out, this one held possession +of him. When he fell asleep, she came before him in her wheeled chair, +warding him off with this justification. When he awoke, and sprang up +causelessly frightened, the words were in his ears, as if her voice had +slowly spoken them at his pillow, to break his rest: 'He withers away in +his prison; I wither away in mine; inexorable justice is done; what do I +owe on this score!' + + + + +CHAPTER 9. Little Mother + + +The morning light was in no hurry to climb the prison wall and look in +at the Snuggery windows; and when it did come, it would have been more +welcome if it had come alone, instead of bringing a rush of rain with +it. But the equinoctial gales were blowing out at sea, and the impartial +south-west wind, in its flight, would not neglect even the narrow +Marshalsea. While it roared through the steeple of St George's Church, +and twirled all the cowls in the neighbourhood, it made a swoop to beat +the Southwark smoke into the jail; and, plunging down the chimneys +of the few early collegians who were yet lighting their fires, half +suffocated them. + +Arthur Clennam would have been little disposed to linger in bed, though +his bed had been in a more private situation, and less affected by the +raking out of yesterday's fire, the kindling of to-day's under the +collegiate boiler, the filling of that Spartan vessel at the pump, the +sweeping and sawdusting of the common room, and other such preparations. +Heartily glad to see the morning, though little rested by the night, he +turned out as soon as he could distinguish objects about him, and paced +the yard for two heavy hours before the gate was opened. + +The walls were so near to one another, and the wild clouds hurried +over them so fast, that it gave him a sensation like the beginning of +sea-sickness to look up at the gusty sky. The rain, carried aslant by +flaws of wind, blackened that side of the central building which he had +visited last night, but left a narrow dry trough under the lee of the +wall, where he walked up and down among the waits of straw and dust +and paper, the waste droppings of the pump, and the stray leaves of +yesterday's greens. It was as haggard a view of life as a man need look +upon. + +Nor was it relieved by any glimpse of the little creature who had +brought him there. Perhaps she glided out of her doorway and in at that +where her father lived, while his face was turned from both; but he saw +nothing of her. It was too early for her brother; to have seen him once, +was to have seen enough of him to know that he would be sluggish to +leave whatever frowsy bed he occupied at night; so, as Arthur Clennam +walked up and down, waiting for the gate to open, he cast about in +his mind for future rather than for present means of pursuing his +discoveries. + +At last the lodge-gate turned, and the turnkey, standing on the step, +taking an early comb at his hair, was ready to let him out. With a +joyful sense of release he passed through the lodge, and found himself +again in the little outer court-yard where he had spoken to the brother +last night. + +There was a string of people already straggling in, whom it was not +difficult to identify as the nondescript messengers, go-betweens, and +errand-bearers of the place. Some of them had been lounging in the rain +until the gate should open; others, who had timed their arrival +with greater nicety, were coming up now, and passing in with damp +whitey-brown paper bags from the grocers, loaves of bread, lumps of +butter, eggs, milk, and the like. The shabbiness of these attendants +upon shabbiness, the poverty of these insolvent waiters upon insolvency, +was a sight to see. Such threadbare coats and trousers, such fusty gowns +and shawls, such squashed hats and bonnets, such boots and shoes, such +umbrellas and walking-sticks, never were seen in Rag Fair. All of +them wore the cast-off clothes of other men and women, were made up of +patches and pieces of other people's individuality, and had no sartorial +existence of their own proper. Their walk was the walk of a race apart. +They had a peculiar way of doggedly slinking round the corner, as if +they were eternally going to the pawnbroker's. When they coughed, they +coughed like people accustomed to be forgotten on doorsteps and in +draughty passages, waiting for answers to letters in faded ink, which +gave the recipients of those manuscripts great mental disturbance and no +satisfaction. As they eyed the stranger in passing, they eyed him with +borrowing eyes--hungry, sharp, speculative as to his softness if they +were accredited to him, and the likelihood of his standing something +handsome. Mendicity on commission stooped in their high shoulders, +shambled in their unsteady legs, buttoned and pinned and darned and +dragged their clothes, frayed their button-holes, leaked out of their +figures in dirty little ends of tape, and issued from their mouths in +alcoholic breathings. + +As these people passed him standing still in the court-yard, and one of +them turned back to inquire if he could assist him with his services, +it came into Arthur Clennam's mind that he would speak to Little Dorrit +again before he went away. She would have recovered her first surprise, +and might feel easier with him. He asked this member of the fraternity +(who had two red herrings in his hand, and a loaf and a blacking brush +under his arm), where was the nearest place to get a cup of coffee +at. The nondescript replied in encouraging terms, and brought him to a +coffee-shop in the street within a stone's throw. + +'Do you know Miss Dorrit?' asked the new client. + +The nondescript knew two Miss Dorrits; one who was born inside--That was +the one! That was the one? The nondescript had known her many years. +In regard of the other Miss Dorrit, the nondescript lodged in the same +house with herself and uncle. + +This changed the client's half-formed design of remaining at the +coffee-shop until the nondescript should bring him word that Dorrit +had issued forth into the street. He entrusted the nondescript with a +confidential message to her, importing that the visitor who had waited +on her father last night, begged the favour of a few words with her at +her uncle's lodging; he obtained from the same source full directions to +the house, which was very near; dismissed the nondescript gratified with +half-a-crown; and having hastily refreshed himself at the coffee-shop, +repaired with all speed to the clarionet-player's dwelling. + +There were so many lodgers in this house that the doorpost seemed to be +as full of bell-handles as a cathedral organ is of stops. Doubtful +which might be the clarionet-stop, he was considering the point, when a +shuttlecock flew out of the parlour window, and alighted on his hat. +He then observed that in the parlour window was a blind with the +inscription, MR CRIPPLES's ACADEMY; also in another line, EVENING +TUITION; and behind the blind was a little white-faced boy, with a slice +of bread-and-butter and a battledore. The window being accessible from +the footway, he looked in over the blind, returned the shuttlecock, and +put his question. + +'Dorrit?' said the little white-faced boy (Master Cripples in fact). +'_Mr_ Dorrit? Third bell and one knock.' + +The pupils of Mr Cripples appeared to have been making a copy-book of +the street-door, it was so extensively scribbled over in pencil. The +frequency of the inscriptions, 'Old Dorrit,' and 'Dirty Dick,' in +combination, suggested intentions of personality on the part Of Mr +Cripples's pupils. There was ample time to make these observations +before the door was opened by the poor old man himself. + +'Ha!' said he, very slowly remembering Arthur, 'you were shut in last +night?' + +'Yes, Mr Dorrit. I hope to meet your niece here presently.' + +'Oh!' said he, pondering. 'Out of my brother's way? True. Would you come +up-stairs and wait for her?' + +'Thank you.' + +Turning himself as slowly as he turned in his mind whatever he heard or +said, he led the way up the narrow stairs. The house was very close, and +had an unwholesome smell. The little staircase windows looked in at the +back windows of other houses as unwholesome as itself, with poles and +lines thrust out of them, on which unsightly linen hung; as if the +inhabitants were angling for clothes, and had had some wretched bites +not worth attending to. In the back garret--a sickly room, with a +turn-up bedstead in it, so hastily and recently turned up that the +blankets were boiling over, as it were, and keeping the lid open--a +half-finished breakfast of coffee and toast for two persons was jumbled +down anyhow on a rickety table. + +There was no one there. The old man mumbling to himself, after some +consideration, that Fanny had run away, went to the next room to fetch +her back. The visitor, observing that she held the door on the inside, +and that, when the uncle tried to open it, there was a sharp adjuration +of 'Don't, stupid!' and an appearance of loose stocking and flannel, +concluded that the young lady was in an undress. The uncle, without +appearing to come to any conclusion, shuffled in again, sat down in his +chair, and began warming his hands at the fire; not that it was cold, or +that he had any waking idea whether it was or not. + +'What did you think of my brother, sir?' he asked, when he by-and-by +discovered what he was doing, left off, reached over to the +chimney-piece, and took his clarionet case down. + +'I was glad,' said Arthur, very much at a loss, for his thoughts were +on the brother before him; 'to find him so well and cheerful.' + +'Ha!' muttered the old man, 'yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!' + +Arthur wondered what he could possibly want with the clarionet case. He +did not want it at all. He discovered, in due time, that it was not the +little paper of snuff (which was also on the chimney-piece), put it back +again, took down the snuff instead, and solaced himself with a pinch. He +was as feeble, spare, and slow in his pinches as in everything else, but +a certain little trickling of enjoyment of them played in the poor worn +nerves about the corners of his eyes and mouth. + +'Amy, Mr Clennam. What do you think of her?' + +'I am much impressed, Mr Dorrit, by all that I have seen of her and +thought of her.' + +'My brother would have been quite lost without Amy,' he returned. 'We +should all have been lost without Amy. She is a very good girl, Amy. She +does her duty.' + +Arthur fancied that he heard in these praises a certain tone of custom, +which he had heard from the father last night with an inward protest and +feeling of antagonism. It was not that they stinted her praises, or +were insensible to what she did for them; but that they were lazily +habituated to her, as they were to all the rest of their condition. +He fancied that although they had before them, every day, the means of +comparison between her and one another and themselves, they regarded her +as being in her necessary place; as holding a position towards them all +which belonged to her, like her name or her age. He fancied that they +viewed her, not as having risen away from the prison atmosphere, but as +appertaining to it; as being vaguely what they had a right to expect, +and nothing more. + +Her uncle resumed his breakfast, and was munching toast sopped in +coffee, oblivious of his guest, when the third bell rang. That was Amy, +he said, and went down to let her in; leaving the visitor with as vivid +a picture on his mind of his begrimed hands, dirt-worn face, and decayed +figure, as if he were still drooping in his chair. + +She came up after him, in the usual plain dress, and with the usual +timid manner. Her lips were a little parted, as if her heart beat faster +than usual. + +'Mr Clennam, Amy,' said her uncle, 'has been expecting you some time.' + +'I took the liberty of sending you a message.' + +'I received the message, sir.' + +'Are you going to my mother's this morning? I think not, for it is past +your usual hour.' + +'Not to-day, sir. I am not wanted to-day.' + +'Will you allow Me to walk a little way in whatever direction you may +be going? I can then speak to you as we walk, both without detaining you +here, and without intruding longer here myself.' + +She looked embarrassed, but said, if he pleased. He made a pretence of +having mislaid his walking-stick, to give her time to set the bedstead +right, to answer her sister's impatient knock at the wall, and to say a +word softly to her uncle. Then he found it, and they went down-stairs; +she first, he following; the uncle standing at the stair-head, and +probably forgetting them before they had reached the ground floor. + +Mr Cripples's pupils, who were by this time coming to school, desisted +from their morning recreation of cuffing one another with bags and +books, to stare with all the eyes they had at a stranger who had been +to see Dirty Dick. They bore the trying spectacle in silence, until the +mysterious visitor was at a safe distance; when they burst into pebbles +and yells, and likewise into reviling dances, and in all respects buried +the pipe of peace with so many savage ceremonies, that, if Mr Cripples +had been the chief of the Cripplewayboo tribe with his war-paint on, +they could scarcely have done greater justice to their education. + +In the midst of this homage, Mr Arthur Clennam offered his arm to Little +Dorrit, and Little Dorrit took it. 'Will you go by the Iron Bridge,' +said he, 'where there is an escape from the noise of the street?' Little +Dorrit answered, if he pleased, and presently ventured to hope that he +would 'not mind' Mr Cripples's boys, for she had herself received +her education, such as it was, in Mr Cripples's evening academy. He +returned, with the best will in the world, that Mr Cripples's boys were +forgiven out of the bottom of his soul. Thus did Cripples unconsciously +become a master of the ceremonies between them, and bring them more +naturally together than Beau Nash might have done if they had lived +in his golden days, and he had alighted from his coach and six for the +purpose. + +The morning remained squally, and the streets were miserably muddy, but +no rain fell as they walked towards the Iron Bridge. The little creature +seemed so young in his eyes, that there were moments when he found +himself thinking of her, if not speaking to her, as if she were a child. +Perhaps he seemed as old in her eyes as she seemed young in his. + +'I am sorry to hear you were so inconvenienced last night, sir, as to be +locked in. It was very unfortunate.' + +It was nothing, he returned. He had had a very good bed. + +'Oh yes!' she said quickly; 'she believed there were excellent beds at +the coffee-house.' He noticed that the coffee-house was quite a majestic +hotel to her, and that she treasured its reputation. + +'I believe it is very expensive,' said Little Dorrit, 'but my father has +told me that quite beautiful dinners may be got there. And wine,' she +added timidly. + +'Were you ever there?' + +'Oh no! Only into the kitchen to fetch hot water.' + +To think of growing up with a kind of awe upon one as to the luxuries of +that superb establishment, the Marshalsea Hotel! + +'I asked you last night,' said Clennam, 'how you had become acquainted +with my mother. Did you ever hear her name before she sent for you?' + +'No, sir.' + +'Do you think your father ever did?' + +'No, sir.' + +He met her eyes raised to his with so much wonder in them (she was +scared when the encounter took place, and shrunk away again), that he +felt it necessary to say: + +'I have a reason for asking, which I cannot very well explain; but you +must, on no account, suppose it to be of a nature to cause you the least +alarm or anxiety. Quite the reverse. And you think that at no time of +your father's life was my name of Clennam ever familiar to him?' + +'No, sir.' + +He felt, from the tone in which she spoke, that she was glancing up at +him with those parted lips; therefore he looked before him, rather than +make her heart beat quicker still by embarrassing her afresh. + +Thus they emerged upon the Iron Bridge, which was as quiet after the +roaring streets as though it had been open country. The wind blew +roughly, the wet squalls came rattling past them, skimming the pools on +the road and pavement, and raining them down into the river. The clouds +raced on furiously in the lead-coloured sky, the smoke and mist raced +after them, the dark tide ran fierce and strong in the same direction. +Little Dorrit seemed the least, the quietest, and weakest of Heaven's +creatures. + +'Let me put you in a coach,' said Clennam, very nearly adding 'my poor +child.' + +She hurriedly declined, saying that wet or dry made little difference to +her; she was used to go about in all weathers. He knew it to be so, and +was touched with more pity; thinking of the slight figure at his side, +making its nightly way through the damp dark boisterous streets to such +a place of rest. + +'You spoke so feelingly to me last night, sir, and I found afterwards +that you had been so generous to my father, that I could not resist your +message, if it was only to thank you; especially as I wished very much +to say to you--' she hesitated and trembled, and tears rose in her eyes, +but did not fall. + +'To say to me--?' + +'That I hope you will not misunderstand my father. Don't judge him, sir, +as you would judge others outside the gates. He has been there so long! +I never saw him outside, but I can understand that he must have grown +different in some things since.' + +'My thoughts will never be unjust or harsh towards him, believe me.' + +'Not,' she said, with a prouder air, as the misgiving evidently crept +upon her that she might seem to be abandoning him, 'not that he has +anything to be ashamed of for himself, or that I have anything to be +ashamed of for him. He only requires to be understood. I only ask for +him that his life may be fairly remembered. All that he said was quite +true. It all happened just as he related it. He is very much respected. +Everybody who comes in, is glad to know him. He is more courted than +anyone else. He is far more thought of than the Marshal is.' + +If ever pride were innocent, it was innocent in Little Dorrit when she +grew boastful of her father. + +'It is often said that his manners are a true gentleman's, and quite +a study. I see none like them in that place, but he is admitted to +be superior to all the rest. This is quite as much why they make him +presents, as because they know him to be needy. He is not to be blamed +for being in need, poor love. Who could be in prison a quarter of a +century, and be prosperous!' + +What affection in her words, what compassion in her repressed tears, +what a great soul of fidelity within her, how true the light that shed +false brightness round him! + +'If I have found it best to conceal where my home is, it is not because +I am ashamed of him. God forbid! Nor am I so much ashamed of the place +itself as might be supposed. People are not bad because they come there. +I have known numbers of good, persevering, honest people come there +through misfortune. They are almost all kind-hearted to one another. +And it would be ungrateful indeed in me, to forget that I have had many +quiet, comfortable hours there; that I had an excellent friend there +when I was quite a baby, who was very very fond of me; that I have been +taught there, and have worked there, and have slept soundly there. I +think it would be almost cowardly and cruel not to have some little +attachment for it, after all this.' + +She had relieved the faithful fulness of her heart, and modestly said, +raising her eyes appealingly to her new friend's, 'I did not mean to say +so much, nor have I ever but once spoken about this before. But it seems +to set it more right than it was last night. I said I wished you had +not followed me, sir. I don't wish it so much now, unless you should +think--indeed I don't wish it at all, unless I should have spoken so +confusedly, that--that you can scarcely understand me, which I am afraid +may be the case.' + +He told her with perfect truth that it was not the case; and putting +himself between her and the sharp wind and rain, sheltered her as well +as he could. + +'I feel permitted now,' he said, 'to ask you a little more concerning +your father. Has he many creditors?' + +'Oh! a great number.' + +'I mean detaining creditors, who keep him where he is?' + +'Oh yes! a great number.' + +'Can you tell me--I can get the information, no doubt, elsewhere, if you +cannot--who is the most influential of them?' + +Little Dorrit said, after considering a little, that she used to +hear long ago of Mr Tite Barnacle as a man of great power. He was a +commissioner, or a board, or a trustee, 'or something.' He lived +in Grosvenor Square, she thought, or very near it. He was under +Government--high in the Circumlocution Office. She appeared to have +acquired, in her infancy, some awful impression of the might of this +formidable Mr Tite Barnacle of Grosvenor Square, or very near it, and +the Circumlocution Office, which quite crushed her when she mentioned +him. + +'It can do no harm,' thought Arthur, 'if I see this Mr Tite Barnacle.' + +The thought did not present itself so quietly but that her quickness +intercepted it. 'Ah!' said Little Dorrit, shaking her head with the mild +despair of a lifetime. 'Many people used to think once of getting my +poor father out, but you don't know how hopeless it is.' + +She forgot to be shy at the moment, in honestly warning him away from +the sunken wreck he had a dream of raising; and looked at him with +eyes which assuredly, in association with her patient face, her fragile +figure, her spare dress, and the wind and rain, did not turn him from +his purpose of helping her. + +'Even if it could be done,' said she--'and it never can be done +now--where could father live, or how could he live? I have often thought +that if such a change could come, it might be anything but a service to +him now. People might not think so well of him outside as they do there. +He might not be so gently dealt with outside as he is there. He might +not be so fit himself for the life outside as he is for that.' + +Here for the first time she could not restrain her tears from falling; +and the little thin hands he had watched when they were so busy, +trembled as they clasped each other. + +'It would be a new distress to him even to know that I earn a little +money, and that Fanny earns a little money. He is so anxious about us, +you see, feeling helplessly shut up there. Such a good, good father!' + +He let the little burst of feeling go by before he spoke. It was soon +gone. She was not accustomed to think of herself, or to trouble any one +with her emotions. He had but glanced away at the piles of city roofs +and chimneys among which the smoke was rolling heavily, and at the +wilderness of masts on the river, and the wilderness of steeples on +the shore, indistinctly mixed together in the stormy haze, when she +was again as quiet as if she had been plying her needle in his mother's +room. + +'You would be glad to have your brother set at liberty?' + +'Oh very, very glad, sir!' + +'Well, we will hope for him at least. You told me last night of a friend +you had?' + +His name was Plornish, Little Dorrit said. + +And where did Plornish live? Plornish lived in Bleeding Heart Yard. He +was 'only a plasterer,' Little Dorrit said, as a caution to him not to +form high social expectations of Plornish. He lived at the last house in +Bleeding Heart Yard, and his name was over a little gateway. + +Arthur took down the address and gave her his. He had now done all he +sought to do for the present, except that he wished to leave her with a +reliance upon him, and to have something like a promise from her that +she would cherish it. + +'There is one friend!' he said, putting up his pocketbook. 'As I take +you back--you are going back?' + +'Oh yes! going straight home.' + +'--As I take you back,' the word home jarred upon him, 'let me ask you to +persuade yourself that you have another friend. I make no professions, +and say no more.' + +'You are truly kind to me, sir. I am sure I need no more.' + +They walked back through the miserable muddy streets, and among the +poor, mean shops, and were jostled by the crowds of dirty hucksters +usual to a poor neighbourhood. There was nothing, by the short way, that +was pleasant to any of the five senses. Yet it was not a common passage +through common rain, and mire, and noise, to Clennam, having this +little, slender, careful creature on his arm. How young she seemed to +him, or how old he to her; or what a secret either to the other, in that +beginning of the destined interweaving of their stories, matters not +here. He thought of her having been born and bred among these scenes, +and shrinking through them now, familiar yet misplaced; he thought +of her long acquaintance with the squalid needs of life, and of her +innocence; of her solicitude for others, and her few years, and her +childish aspect. + +They were come into the High Street, where the prison stood, when a +voice cried, 'Little mother, little mother!' Little Dorrit stopping and +looking back, an excited figure of a strange kind bounced against them +(still crying 'little mother'), fell down, and scattered the contents of +a large basket, filled with potatoes, in the mud. + +'Oh, Maggy,' said Little Dorrit, 'what a clumsy child you are!' + +Maggy was not hurt, but picked herself up immediately, and then began +to pick up the potatoes, in which both Little Dorrit and Arthur Clennam +helped. Maggy picked up very few potatoes and a great quantity of mud; +but they were all recovered, and deposited in the basket. Maggy then +smeared her muddy face with her shawl, and presenting it to Mr Clennam +as a type of purity, enabled him to see what she was like. + +She was about eight-and-twenty, with large bones, large features, large +feet and hands, large eyes and no hair. Her large eyes were limpid and +almost colourless; they seemed to be very little affected by light, +and to stand unnaturally still. There was also that attentive listening +expression in her face, which is seen in the faces of the blind; but she +was not blind, having one tolerably serviceable eye. Her face was not +exceedingly ugly, though it was only redeemed from being so by a smile; +a good-humoured smile, and pleasant in itself, but rendered pitiable +by being constantly there. A great white cap, with a quantity of +opaque frilling that was always flapping about, apologised for Maggy's +baldness, and made it so very difficult for her old black bonnet to +retain its place upon her head, that it held on round her neck like a +gipsy's baby. A commission of haberdashers could alone have reported +what the rest of her poor dress was made of, but it had a strong general +resemblance to seaweed, with here and there a gigantic tea-leaf. Her +shawl looked particularly like a tea-leaf after long infusion. + +Arthur Clennam looked at Little Dorrit with the expression of one +saying, 'May I ask who this is?' Little Dorrit, whose hand this Maggy, +still calling her little mother, had begun to fondle, answered in words +(they were under a gateway into which the majority of the potatoes had +rolled). + +'This is Maggy, sir.' + +'Maggy, sir,' echoed the personage presented. 'Little mother!' + +'She is the grand-daughter--' said Little Dorrit. + +'Grand-daughter,' echoed Maggy. + +'Of my old nurse, who has been dead a long time. Maggy, how old are +you?' + +'Ten, mother,' said Maggy. + +'You can't think how good she is, sir,' said Little Dorrit, with +infinite tenderness. + +'Good _she_ is,' echoed Maggy, transferring the pronoun in a most +expressive way from herself to her little mother. + +'Or how clever,' said Little Dorrit. 'She goes on errands as well as +any one.' Maggy laughed. 'And is as trustworthy as the Bank of England.' +Maggy laughed. 'She earns her own living entirely. Entirely, sir!' said +Little Dorrit, in a lower and triumphant tone. 'Really does!' + +'What is her history?' asked Clennam. + +'Think of that, Maggy?' said Little Dorrit, taking her two large hands +and clapping them together. 'A gentleman from thousands of miles away, +wanting to know your history!' + +'_My_ history?' cried Maggy. 'Little mother.' + +'She means me,' said Little Dorrit, rather confused; 'she is very much +attached to me. Her old grandmother was not so kind to her as she should +have been; was she, Maggy?' + +Maggy shook her head, made a drinking vessel of her clenched left hand, +drank out of it, and said, 'Gin.' Then beat an imaginary child, and said, +'Broom-handles and pokers.' + +'When Maggy was ten years old,' said Little Dorrit, watching her face +while she spoke, 'she had a bad fever, sir, and she has never grown any +older ever since.' + +'Ten years old,' said Maggy, nodding her head. 'But what a nice +hospital! So comfortable, wasn't it? Oh so nice it was. Such a Ev'nly +place!' + +'She had never been at peace before, sir,' said Little Dorrit, turning +towards Arthur for an instant and speaking low, 'and she always runs off +upon that.' + +'Such beds there is there!' cried Maggy. 'Such lemonades! Such oranges! +Such d'licious broth and wine! Such Chicking! Oh, AIN'T it a delightful +place to go and stop at!' + +'So Maggy stopped there as long as she could,' said Little Dorrit, +in her former tone of telling a child's story; the tone designed for +Maggy's ear, 'and at last, when she could stop there no longer, she came +out. Then, because she was never to be more than ten years old, however +long she lived--' + +'However long she lived,' echoed Maggy. + +'--And because she was very weak; indeed was so weak that when she began +to laugh she couldn't stop herself--which was a great pity--' + +(Maggy mighty grave of a sudden.) + +'--Her grandmother did not know what to do with her, and for some years +was very unkind to her indeed. At length, in course of time, Maggy began +to take pains to improve herself, and to be very attentive and very +industrious; and by degrees was allowed to come in and out as often as +she liked, and got enough to do to support herself, and does support +herself. And that,' said Little Dorrit, clapping the two great hands +together again, 'is Maggy's history, as Maggy knows!' + +Ah! But Arthur would have known what was wanting to its completeness, +though he had never heard of the words Little mother; though he had +never seen the fondling of the small spare hand; though he had had no +sight for the tears now standing in the colourless eyes; though he had +had no hearing for the sob that checked the clumsy laugh. The dirty +gateway with the wind and rain whistling through it, and the basket of +muddy potatoes waiting to be spilt again or taken up, never seemed the +common hole it really was, when he looked back to it by these lights. +Never, never! + +They were very near the end of their walk, and they now came out of the +gateway to finish it. Nothing would serve Maggy but that they must stop +at a grocer's window, short of their destination, for her to show her +learning. She could read after a sort; and picked out the fat figures in +the tickets of prices, for the most part correctly. She also stumbled, +with a large balance of success against her failures, through various +philanthropic recommendations to Try our Mixture, Try our Family Black, +Try our Orange-flavoured Pekoe, challenging competition at the head +of Flowery Teas; and various cautions to the public against spurious +establishments and adulterated articles. When he saw how pleasure +brought a rosy tint into Little Dorrit's face when Maggy made a hit, +he felt that he could have stood there making a library of the grocer's +window until the rain and wind were tired. + +The court-yard received them at last, and there he said goodbye to +Little Dorrit. Little as she had always looked, she looked less than +ever when he saw her going into the Marshalsea lodge passage, the little +mother attended by her big child. + +The cage door opened, and when the small bird, reared in captivity, had +tamely fluttered in, he saw it shut again; and then he came away. + + + + +CHAPTER 10. Containing the whole Science of Government + + +The Circumlocution Office was (as everybody knows without being told) +the most important Department under Government. No public business of +any kind could possibly be done at any time without the acquiescence of +the Circumlocution Office. Its finger was in the largest public pie, +and in the smallest public tart. It was equally impossible to do the +plainest right and to undo the plainest wrong without the express +authority of the Circumlocution Office. If another Gunpowder Plot had +been discovered half an hour before the lighting of the match, nobody +would have been justified in saving the parliament until there had +been half a score of boards, half a bushel of minutes, several sacks +of official memoranda, and a family-vault full of ungrammatical +correspondence, on the part of the Circumlocution Office. + +This glorious establishment had been early in the field, when the one +sublime principle involving the difficult art of governing a country, +was first distinctly revealed to statesmen. It had been foremost to +study that bright revelation and to carry its shining influence through +the whole of the official proceedings. Whatever was required to be done, +the Circumlocution Office was beforehand with all the public departments +in the art of perceiving--HOW NOT TO DO IT. + +Through this delicate perception, through the tact with which it +invariably seized it, and through the genius with which it always acted +on it, the Circumlocution Office had risen to overtop all the public +departments; and the public condition had risen to be--what it was. + +It is true that How not to do it was the great study and object of +all public departments and professional politicians all round the +Circumlocution Office. It is true that every new premier and every +new government, coming in because they had upheld a certain thing as +necessary to be done, were no sooner come in than they applied their +utmost faculties to discovering How not to do it. It is true that from +the moment when a general election was over, every returned man who had +been raving on hustings because it hadn't been done, and who had been +asking the friends of the honourable gentleman in the opposite interest +on pain of impeachment to tell him why it hadn't been done, and who had +been asserting that it must be done, and who had been pledging himself +that it should be done, began to devise, How it was not to be done. It +is true that the debates of both Houses of Parliament the whole session +through, uniformly tended to the protracted deliberation, How not to +do it. It is true that the royal speech at the opening of such session +virtually said, My lords and gentlemen, you have a considerable +stroke of work to do, and you will please to retire to your respective +chambers, and discuss, How not to do it. It is true that the royal +speech, at the close of such session, virtually said, My lords and +gentlemen, you have through several laborious months been considering +with great loyalty and patriotism, How not to do it, and you have found +out; and with the blessing of Providence upon the harvest (natural, not +political), I now dismiss you. All this is true, but the Circumlocution +Office went beyond it. + +Because the Circumlocution Office went on mechanically, every day, +keeping this wonderful, all-sufficient wheel of statesmanship, How not +to do it, in motion. Because the Circumlocution Office was down upon any +ill-advised public servant who was going to do it, or who appeared to be +by any surprising accident in remote danger of doing it, with a minute, +and a memorandum, and a letter of instructions that extinguished him. It +was this spirit of national efficiency in the Circumlocution Office +that had gradually led to its having something to do with everything. +Mechanicians, natural philosophers, soldiers, sailors, petitioners, +memorialists, people with grievances, people who wanted to prevent +grievances, people who wanted to redress grievances, jobbing people, +jobbed people, people who couldn't get rewarded for merit, and people +who couldn't get punished for demerit, were all indiscriminately tucked +up under the foolscap paper of the Circumlocution Office. + +Numbers of people were lost in the Circumlocution Office. Unfortunates +with wrongs, or with projects for the general welfare (and they had +better have had wrongs at first, than have taken that bitter English +recipe for certainly getting them), who in slow lapse of time and agony +had passed safely through other public departments; who, according to +rule, had been bullied in this, over-reached by that, and evaded by +the other; got referred at last to the Circumlocution Office, and +never reappeared in the light of day. Boards sat upon them, secretaries +minuted upon them, commissioners gabbled about them, clerks registered, +entered, checked, and ticked them off, and they melted away. In short, +all the business of the country went through the Circumlocution Office, +except the business that never came out of it; and _its_ name was Legion. + +Sometimes, angry spirits attacked the Circumlocution Office. Sometimes, +parliamentary questions were asked about it, and even parliamentary +motions made or threatened about it by demagogues so low and ignorant as +to hold that the real recipe of government was, How to do it. Then would +the noble lord, or right honourable gentleman, in whose department it +was to defend the Circumlocution Office, put an orange in his pocket, +and make a regular field-day of the occasion. Then would he come down to +that house with a slap upon the table, and meet the honourable gentleman +foot to foot. Then would he be there to tell that honourable gentleman +that the Circumlocution Office not only was blameless in this matter, +but was commendable in this matter, was extollable to the skies in this +matter. Then would he be there to tell that honourable gentleman that, +although the Circumlocution Office was invariably right and wholly +right, it never was so right as in this matter. Then would he be there +to tell that honourable gentleman that it would have been more to his +honour, more to his credit, more to his good taste, more to his good +sense, more to half the dictionary of commonplaces, if he had left the +Circumlocution Office alone, and never approached this matter. Then +would he keep one eye upon a coach or crammer from the Circumlocution +Office sitting below the bar, and smash the honourable gentleman with +the Circumlocution Office account of this matter. And although one +of two things always happened; namely, either that the Circumlocution +Office had nothing to say and said it, or that it had something to say +of which the noble lord, or right honourable gentleman, blundered one +half and forgot the other; the Circumlocution Office was always voted +immaculate by an accommodating majority. + +Such a nursery of statesmen had the Department become in virtue of a +long career of this nature, that several solemn lords had attained the +reputation of being quite unearthly prodigies of business, solely from +having practised, How not to do it, as the head of the Circumlocution +Office. As to the minor priests and acolytes of that temple, the result +of all this was that they stood divided into two classes, and, down to +the junior messenger, either believed in the Circumlocution Office as +a heaven-born institution that had an absolute right to do whatever it +liked; or took refuge in total infidelity, and considered it a flagrant +nuisance. + +The Barnacle family had for some time helped to administer the +Circumlocution Office. The Tite Barnacle Branch, indeed, considered +themselves in a general way as having vested rights in that direction, +and took it ill if any other family had much to say to it. The Barnacles +were a very high family, and a very large family. They were dispersed +all over the public offices, and held all sorts of public places. Either +the nation was under a load of obligation to the Barnacles, or the +Barnacles were under a load of obligation to the nation. It was not +quite unanimously settled which; the Barnacles having their opinion, the +nation theirs. + +The Mr Tite Barnacle who at the period now in question usually coached +or crammed the statesman at the head of the Circumlocution Office, when +that noble or right honourable individual sat a little uneasily in his +saddle by reason of some vagabond making a tilt at him in a newspaper, +was more flush of blood than money. As a Barnacle he had his place, +which was a snug thing enough; and as a Barnacle he had of course put +in his son Barnacle Junior in the office. But he had intermarried with +a branch of the Stiltstalkings, who were also better endowed in a +sanguineous point of view than with real or personal property, and of +this marriage there had been issue, Barnacle junior and three young +ladies. What with the patrician requirements of Barnacle junior, the +three young ladies, Mrs Tite Barnacle nee Stiltstalking, and himself, +Mr Tite Barnacle found the intervals between quarter day and quarter day +rather longer than he could have desired; a circumstance which he always +attributed to the country's parsimony. + +For Mr Tite Barnacle, Mr Arthur Clennam made his fifth inquiry one day +at the Circumlocution Office; having on previous occasions awaited that +gentleman successively in a hall, a glass case, a waiting room, and a +fire-proof passage where the Department seemed to keep its wind. On this +occasion Mr Barnacle was not engaged, as he had been before, with the +noble prodigy at the head of the Department; but was absent. Barnacle +Junior, however, was announced as a lesser star, yet visible above the +office horizon. + +With Barnacle junior, he signified his desire to confer; and found that +young gentleman singeing the calves of his legs at the parental fire, +and supporting his spine against the mantel-shelf. It was a comfortable +room, handsomely furnished in the higher official manner; an presenting +stately suggestions of the absent Barnacle, in the thick carpet, the +leather-covered desk to sit at, the leather-covered desk to stand at, +the formidable easy-chair and hearth-rug, the interposed screen, the +torn-up papers, the dispatch-boxes with little labels sticking out of +them, like medicine bottles or dead game, the pervading smell of leather +and mahogany, and a general bamboozling air of How not to do it. + +The present Barnacle, holding Mr Clennam's card in his hand, had a +youthful aspect, and the fluffiest little whisker, perhaps, that ever +was seen. Such a downy tip was on his callow chin, that he seemed half +fledged like a young bird; and a compassionate observer might have urged +that, if he had not singed the calves of his legs, he would have died +of cold. He had a superior eye-glass dangling round his neck, but +unfortunately had such flat orbits to his eyes and such limp little +eyelids that it wouldn't stick in when he put it up, but kept tumbling +out against his waistcoat buttons with a click that discomposed him very +much. + +'Oh, I say. Look here! My father's not in the way, and won't be in the +way to-day,' said Barnacle Junior. 'Is this anything that I can do?' + +(Click! Eye-glass down. Barnacle Junior quite frightened and feeling all +round himself, but not able to find it.) + +'You are very good,' said Arthur Clennam. 'I wish however to see Mr +Barnacle.' + +'But I say. Look here! You haven't got any appointment, you know,' said +Barnacle Junior. + +(By this time he had found the eye-glass, and put it up again.) + +'No,' said Arthur Clennam. 'That is what I wish to have.' + +'But I say. Look here! Is this public business?' asked Barnacle junior. + +(Click! Eye-glass down again. Barnacle Junior in that state of search +after it that Mr Clennam felt it useless to reply at present.) + +'Is it,' said Barnacle junior, taking heed of his visitor's brown face, +'anything about--Tonnage--or that sort of thing?' + +(Pausing for a reply, he opened his right eye with his hand, and stuck +his glass in it, in that inflammatory manner that his eye began watering +dreadfully.) + +'No,' said Arthur, 'it is nothing about tonnage.' + +'Then look here. Is it private business?' + +'I really am not sure. It relates to a Mr Dorrit.' + +'Look here, I tell you what! You had better call at our house, if you +are going that way. Twenty-four, Mews Street, Grosvenor Square. My +father's got a slight touch of the gout, and is kept at home by it.' + +(The misguided young Barnacle evidently going blind on his eye-glass +side, but ashamed to make any further alteration in his painful +arrangements.) + +'Thank you. I will call there now. Good morning.' Young Barnacle seemed +discomfited at this, as not having at all expected him to go. + +'You are quite sure,' said Barnacle junior, calling after him when he +got to the door, unwilling wholly to relinquish the bright business idea +he had conceived; 'that it's nothing about Tonnage?' + +'Quite sure.' + +With such assurance, and rather wondering what might have taken place +if it _had_ been anything about tonnage, Mr Clennam withdrew to pursue his +inquiries. + +Mews Street, Grosvenor Square, was not absolutely Grosvenor Square +itself, but it was very near it. It was a hideous little street of dead +wall, stables, and dunghills, with lofts over coach-houses inhabited by +coachmen's families, who had a passion for drying clothes and decorating +their window-sills with miniature turnpike-gates. The principal +chimney-sweep of that fashionable quarter lived at the blind end of Mews +Street; and the same corner contained an establishment much frequented +about early morning and twilight for the purchase of wine-bottles and +kitchen-stuff. Punch's shows used to lean against the dead wall in Mews +Street, while their proprietors were dining elsewhere; and the dogs of +the neighbourhood made appointments to meet in the same locality. Yet +there were two or three small airless houses at the entrance end of Mews +Street, which went at enormous rents on account of their being abject +hangers-on to a fashionable situation; and whenever one of these fearful +little coops was to be let (which seldom happened, for they were in +great request), the house agent advertised it as a gentlemanly residence +in the most aristocratic part of town, inhabited solely by the elite of +the beau monde. + +If a gentlemanly residence coming strictly within this narrow margin had +not been essential to the blood of the Barnacles, this particular branch +would have had a pretty wide selection among, let us say, ten thousand +houses, offering fifty times the accommodation for a third of the money. +As it was, Mr Barnacle, finding his gentlemanly residence extremely +inconvenient and extremely dear, always laid it, as a public servant, +at the door of the country, and adduced it as another instance of the +country's parsimony. + +Arthur Clennam came to a squeezed house, with a ramshackle bowed +front, little dingy windows, and a little dark area like a damp +waistcoat-pocket, which he found to be number twenty-four, Mews Street, +Grosvenor Square. To the sense of smell the house was like a sort of +bottle filled with a strong distillation of Mews; and when the footman +opened the door, he seemed to take the stopper out. + +The footman was to the Grosvenor Square footmen, what the house was to +the Grosvenor Square houses. Admirable in his way, his way was a back +and a bye way. His gorgeousness was not unmixed with dirt; and both in +complexion and consistency he had suffered from the closeness of his +pantry. A sallow flabbiness was upon him when he took the stopper out, +and presented the bottle to Mr Clennam's nose. + +'Be so good as to give that card to Mr Tite Barnacle, and to say that I +have just now seen the younger Mr Barnacle, who recommended me to call +here.' + +The footman (who had as many large buttons with the Barnacle crest upon +them on the flaps of his pockets, as if he were the family strong box, +and carried the plate and jewels about with him buttoned up) pondered +over the card a little; then said, 'Walk in.' It required some judgment +to do it without butting the inner hall-door open, and in the consequent +mental confusion and physical darkness slipping down the kitchen stairs. +The visitor, however, brought himself up safely on the door-mat. + +Still the footman said 'Walk in,' so the visitor followed him. At the +inner hall-door, another bottle seemed to be presented and another +stopper taken out. This second vial appeared to be filled with +concentrated provisions and extract of Sink from the pantry. After a +skirmish in the narrow passage, occasioned by the footman's opening the +door of the dismal dining-room with confidence, finding some one there +with consternation, and backing on the visitor with disorder, the +visitor was shut up, pending his announcement, in a close back parlour. +There he had an opportunity of refreshing himself with both the +bottles at once, looking out at a low blinding wall three feet off, +and speculating on the number of Barnacle families within the bills of +mortality who lived in such hutches of their own free flunkey choice. + +Mr Barnacle would see him. Would he walk up-stairs? He would, and +he did; and in the drawing-room, with his leg on a rest, he found Mr +Barnacle himself, the express image and presentment of How not to do it. + +Mr Barnacle dated from a better time, when the country was not so +parsimonious and the Circumlocution Office was not so badgered. He wound +and wound folds of white cravat round his neck, as he wound and wound +folds of tape and paper round the neck of the country. His wristbands +and collar were oppressive; his voice and manner were oppressive. He +had a large watch-chain and bunch of seals, a coat buttoned up to +inconvenience, a waistcoat buttoned up to inconvenience, an unwrinkled +pair of trousers, a stiff pair of boots. He was altogether splendid, +massive, overpowering, and impracticable. He seemed to have been sitting +for his portrait to Sir Thomas Lawrence all the days of his life. + +'Mr Clennam?' said Mr Barnacle. 'Be seated.' + +Mr Clennam became seated. + +'You have called on me, I believe,' said Mr Barnacle, 'at the +Circumlocution--' giving it the air of a word of about five-and-twenty +syllables--'Office.' + +'I have taken that liberty.' + +Mr Barnacle solemnly bent his head as who should say, 'I do not deny +that it is a liberty; proceed to take another liberty, and let me know +your business.' + +'Allow me to observe that I have been for some years in China, am quite +a stranger at home, and have no personal motive or interest in the +inquiry I am about to make.' + +Mr Barnacle tapped his fingers on the table, and, as if he were now +sitting for his portrait to a new and strange artist, appeared to say +to his visitor, 'If you will be good enough to take me with my present +lofty expression, I shall feel obliged.' + +'I have found a debtor in the Marshalsea Prison of the name of Dorrit, +who has been there many years. I wish to investigate his confused +affairs so far as to ascertain whether it may not be possible, after +this lapse of time, to ameliorate his unhappy condition. The name of +Mr Tite Barnacle has been mentioned to me as representing some highly +influential interest among his creditors. Am I correctly informed?' + +It being one of the principles of the Circumlocution Office never, on +any account whatever, to give a straightforward answer, Mr Barnacle +said, 'Possibly.' + +'On behalf of the Crown, may I ask, or as private individual?' + +'The Circumlocution Department, sir,' Mr Barnacle replied, 'may have +possibly recommended--possibly--I cannot say--that some public claim +against the insolvent estate of a firm or copartnership to which this +person may have belonged, should be enforced. The question may have +been, in the course of official business, referred to the Circumlocution +Department for its consideration. The Department may have either +originated, or confirmed, a Minute making that recommendation.' + +'I assume this to be the case, then.' + +'The Circumlocution Department,' said Mr Barnacle, 'is not responsible +for any gentleman's assumptions.' + +'May I inquire how I can obtain official information as to the real +state of the case?' + +'It is competent,' said Mr Barnacle, 'to any member of the--Public,' +mentioning that obscure body with reluctance, as his natural enemy, +'to memorialise the Circumlocution Department. Such formalities as are +required to be observed in so doing, may be known on application to the +proper branch of that Department.' + +'Which is the proper branch?' + +'I must refer you,' returned Mr Barnacle, ringing the bell, 'to the +Department itself for a formal answer to that inquiry.' + +'Excuse my mentioning--' + +'The Department is accessible to the--Public,' Mr Barnacle was always +checked a little by that word of impertinent signification, 'if +the--Public approaches it according to the official forms; if +the--Public does not approach it according to the official forms, +the--Public has itself to blame.' + +Mr Barnacle made him a severe bow, as a wounded man of family, a wounded +man of place, and a wounded man of a gentlemanly residence, all rolled +into one; and he made Mr Barnacle a bow, and was shut out into Mews +Street by the flabby footman. + +Having got to this pass, he resolved as an exercise in perseverance, +to betake himself again to the Circumlocution Office, and try what +satisfaction he could get there. So he went back to the Circumlocution +Office, and once more sent up his card to Barnacle junior by a messenger +who took it very ill indeed that he should come back again, and who was +eating mashed potatoes and gravy behind a partition by the hall fire. + +He was readmitted to the presence of Barnacle junior, and found that +young gentleman singeing his knees now, and gaping his weary way on +to four o'clock. + +'I say. Look here. You stick to us in a devil of a manner,' Said +Barnacle junior, looking over his shoulder. + +'I want to know--' + +'Look here. Upon my soul you mustn't come into the place saying you +want to know, you know,' remonstrated Barnacle junior, turning about and +putting up the eye-glass. + +'I want to know,' said Arthur Clennam, who had made up his mind to +persistence in one short form of words, 'the precise nature of the claim +of the Crown against a prisoner for debt, named Dorrit.' + +'I say. Look here. You really are going it at a great pace, you know. +Egad, you haven't got an appointment,' said Barnacle junior, as if the +thing were growing serious. + +'I want to know,' said Arthur, and repeated his case. + +Barnacle junior stared at him until his eye-glass fell out, and then +put it in again and stared at him until it fell out again. 'You have +no right to come this sort of move,' he then observed with the greatest +weakness. 'Look here. What do you mean? You told me you didn't know +whether it was public business or not.' + +'I have now ascertained that it is public business,' returned the +suitor, 'and I want to know'--and again repeated his monotonous inquiry. + +Its effect upon young Barnacle was to make him repeat in a defenceless +way, 'Look here! Upon my SOUL you mustn't come into the place saying you +want to know, you know!' The effect of that upon Arthur Clennam was +to make him repeat his inquiry in exactly the same words and tone +as before. The effect of that upon young Barnacle was to make him a +wonderful spectacle of failure and helplessness. + +'Well, I tell you what. Look here. You had better try the Secretarial +Department,' he said at last, sidling to the bell and ringing it. +'Jenkinson,' to the mashed potatoes messenger, 'Mr Wobbler!' + +Arthur Clennam, who now felt that he had devoted himself to the storming +of the Circumlocution Office, and must go through with it, accompanied +the messenger to another floor of the building, where that functionary +pointed out Mr Wobbler's room. He entered that apartment, and found two +gentlemen sitting face to face at a large and easy desk, one of whom was +polishing a gun-barrel on his pocket-handkerchief, while the other was +spreading marmalade on bread with a paper-knife. + +'Mr Wobbler?' inquired the suitor. + +Both gentlemen glanced at him, and seemed surprised at his assurance. + +'So he went,' said the gentleman with the gun-barrel, who was an +extremely deliberate speaker, 'down to his cousin's place, and took the +Dog with him by rail. Inestimable Dog. Flew at the porter fellow when he +was put into the dog-box, and flew at the guard when he was taken out. +He got half-a-dozen fellows into a Barn, and a good supply of Rats, and +timed the Dog. Finding the Dog able to do it immensely, made the match, +and heavily backed the Dog. When the match came off, some devil of +a fellow was bought over, Sir, Dog was made drunk, Dog's master was +cleaned out.' + +'Mr Wobbler?' inquired the suitor. + +The gentleman who was spreading the marmalade returned, without looking +up from that occupation, 'What did he call the Dog?' + +'Called him Lovely,' said the other gentleman. 'Said the Dog was the +perfect picture of the old aunt from whom he had expectations. Found him +particularly like her when hocussed.' + +'Mr Wobbler?' said the suitor. + +Both gentlemen laughed for some time. The gentleman with the gun-barrel, +considering it, on inspection, in a satisfactory state, referred it to +the other; receiving confirmation of his views, he fitted it into its +place in the case before him, and took out the stock and polished that, +softly whistling. + +'Mr Wobbler?' said the suitor. + +'What's the matter?' then said Mr Wobbler, with his mouth full. + +'I want to know--' and Arthur Clennam again mechanically set forth what +he wanted to know. + +'Can't inform you,' observed Mr Wobbler, apparently to his lunch. 'Never +heard of it. Nothing at all to do with it. Better try Mr Clive, second +door on the left in the next passage.' + +'Perhaps he will give me the same answer.' + +'Very likely. Don't know anything about it,' said Mr Wobbler. + +The suitor turned away and had left the room, when the gentleman with +the gun called out 'Mister! Hallo!' + +He looked in again. + +'Shut the door after you. You're letting in a devil of a draught here!' + +A few steps brought him to the second door on the left in the next +passage. In that room he found three gentlemen; number one doing nothing +particular, number two doing nothing particular, number three doing +nothing particular. They seemed, however, to be more directly concerned +than the others had been in the effective execution of the great +principle of the office, as there was an awful inner apartment with a +double door, in which the Circumlocution Sages appeared to be assembled +in council, and out of which there was an imposing coming of papers, +and into which there was an imposing going of papers, almost constantly; +wherein another gentleman, number four, was the active instrument. + +'I want to know,' said Arthur Clennam,--and again stated his case in the +same barrel-organ way. As number one referred him to number two, and +as number two referred him to number three, he had occasion to state +it three times before they all referred him to number four, to whom he +stated it again. + +Number four was a vivacious, well-looking, well-dressed, agreeable +young fellow--he was a Barnacle, but on the more sprightly side of +the family--and he said in an easy way, 'Oh! you had better not bother +yourself about it, I think.' + +'Not bother myself about it?' + +'No! I recommend you not to bother yourself about it.' + +This was such a new point of view that Arthur Clennam found himself at a +loss how to receive it. + +'You can if you like. I can give you plenty of forms to fill up. Lots of +'em here. You can have a dozen if you like. But you'll never go on with +it,' said number four. + +'Would it be such hopeless work? Excuse me; I am a stranger in England.' + +'_I_ don't say it would be hopeless,' returned number four, with a frank +smile. 'I don't express an opinion about that; I only express an opinion +about you. _I_ don't think you'd go on with it. However, of course, you +can do as you like. I suppose there was a failure in the performance of +a contract, or something of that kind, was there?' + +'I really don't know.' + +'Well! That you can find out. Then you'll find out what Department the +contract was in, and then you'll find out all about it there.' + +'I beg your pardon. How shall I find out?' + +'Why, you'll--you'll ask till they tell you. Then you'll memorialise +that Department (according to regular forms which you'll find out) for +leave to memorialise this Department. If you get it (which you may after +a time), that memorial must be entered in that Department, sent to +be registered in this Department, sent back to be signed by that +Department, sent back to be countersigned by this Department, and then +it will begin to be regularly before that Department. You'll find out +when the business passes through each of these stages by asking at both +Departments till they tell you.' + +'But surely this is not the way to do the business,' Arthur Clennam +could not help saying. + +This airy young Barnacle was quite entertained by his simplicity in +supposing for a moment that it was. This light in hand young Barnacle +knew perfectly that it was not. This touch and go young Barnacle had +'got up' the Department in a private secretaryship, that he might +be ready for any little bit of fat that came to hand; and he fully +understood the Department to be a politico-diplomatic hocus pocus piece +of machinery for the assistance of the nobs in keeping off the +snobs. This dashing young Barnacle, in a word, was likely to become a +statesman, and to make a figure. + +'When the business is regularly before that Department, whatever it is,' +pursued this bright young Barnacle, 'then you can watch it from time +to time through that Department. When it comes regularly before this +Department, then you must watch it from time to time through this +Department. We shall have to refer it right and left; and when we refer +it anywhere, then you'll have to look it up. When it comes back to us +at any time, then you had better look _us_ up. When it sticks anywhere, +you'll have to try to give it a jog. When you write to another +Department about it, and then to this Department about it, and don't +hear anything satisfactory about it, why then you had better--keep on +writing.' + +Arthur Clennam looked very doubtful indeed. 'But I am obliged to you at +any rate,' said he, 'for your politeness.' + +'Not at all,' replied this engaging young Barnacle. 'Try the thing, and +see how you like it. It will be in your power to give it up at any time, +if you don't like it. You had better take a lot of forms away with you. +Give him a lot of forms!' With which instruction to number two, this +sparkling young Barnacle took a fresh handful of papers from numbers one +and three, and carried them into the sanctuary to offer to the presiding +Idol of the Circumlocution Office. + +Arthur Clennam put his forms in his pocket gloomily enough, and went +his way down the long stone passage and the long stone staircase. He had +come to the swing doors leading into the street, and was waiting, not +over patiently, for two people who were between him and them to pass out +and let him follow, when the voice of one of them struck familiarly on +his ear. He looked at the speaker and recognised Mr Meagles. Mr Meagles +was very red in the face--redder than travel could have made him--and +collaring a short man who was with him, said, 'come out, you rascal, +come Out!' + +It was such an unexpected hearing, and it was also such an unexpected +sight to see Mr Meagles burst the swing doors open, and emerge into the +street with the short man, who was of an unoffending appearance, that +Clennam stood still for the moment exchanging looks of surprise with the +porter. He followed, however, quickly; and saw Mr Meagles going down +the street with his enemy at his side. He soon came up with his old +travelling companion, and touched him on the back. The choleric face +which Mr Meagles turned upon him smoothed when he saw who it was, and he +put out his friendly hand. + +'How are you?' said Mr Meagles. 'How d'ye _do?_ I have only just come over +from abroad. I am glad to see you.' + +'And I am rejoiced to see you.' + +'Thank'ee. Thank'ee!' + +'Mrs Meagles and your daughter--?' + +'Are as well as possible,' said Mr Meagles. 'I only wish you had come +upon me in a more prepossessing condition as to coolness.' + +Though it was anything but a hot day, Mr Meagles was in a heated state +that attracted the attention of the passersby; more particularly as +he leaned his back against a railing, took off his hat and cravat, and +heartily rubbed his steaming head and face, and his reddened ears and +neck, without the least regard for public opinion. + +'Whew!' said Mr Meagles, dressing again. 'That's comfortable. Now I am +cooler.' + +'You have been ruffled, Mr Meagles. What is the matter?' + +'Wait a bit, and I'll tell you. Have you leisure for a turn in the +Park?' + +'As much as you please.' + +'Come along then. Ah! you may well look at him.' He happened to have +turned his eyes towards the offender whom Mr Meagles had so angrily +collared. 'He's something to look at, that fellow is.' + +He was not much to look at, either in point of size or in point of +dress; being merely a short, square, practical looking man, whose hair +had turned grey, and in whose face and forehead there were deep lines of +cogitation, which looked as though they were carved in hard wood. He +was dressed in decent black, a little rusty, and had the appearance of +a sagacious master in some handicraft. He had a spectacle-case in his +hand, which he turned over and over while he was thus in question, +with a certain free use of the thumb that is never seen but in a hand +accustomed to tools. + +'You keep with us,' said Mr Meagles, in a threatening kind of Way, 'and +I'll introduce you presently. Now then!' + +Clennam wondered within himself, as they took the nearest way to the +Park, what this unknown (who complied in the gentlest manner) could have +been doing. His appearance did not at all justify the suspicion that he +had been detected in designs on Mr Meagles's pocket-handkerchief; nor +had he any appearance of being quarrelsome or violent. He was a quiet, +plain, steady man; made no attempt to escape; and seemed a little +depressed, but neither ashamed nor repentant. If he were a criminal +offender, he must surely be an incorrigible hypocrite; and if he were no +offender, why should Mr Meagles have collared him in the Circumlocution +Office? He perceived that the man was not a difficulty in his own +mind alone, but in Mr Meagles's too; for such conversation as they had +together on the short way to the Park was by no means well sustained, +and Mr Meagles's eye always wandered back to the man, even when he spoke +of something very different. + +At length they being among the trees, Mr Meagles stopped short, and +said: + +'Mr Clennam, will you do me the favour to look at this man? His name +is Doyce, Daniel Doyce. You wouldn't suppose this man to be a notorious +rascal; would you?' + +'I certainly should not.' It was really a disconcerting question, with +the man there. + +'No. You would not. I know you would not. You wouldn't suppose him to be +a public offender; would you?' + +'No.' + +'No. But he is. He is a public offender. What has he been guilty of? +Murder, manslaughter, arson, forgery, swindling, house-breaking, highway +robbery, larceny, conspiracy, fraud? Which should you say, now?' + +'I should say,' returned Arthur Clennam, observing a faint smile in +Daniel Doyce's face, 'not one of them.' + +'You are right,' said Mr Meagles. 'But he has been ingenious, and he has +been trying to turn his ingenuity to his country's service. That makes +him a public offender directly, sir.' + +Arthur looked at the man himself, who only shook his head. + +'This Doyce,' said Mr Meagles, 'is a smith and engineer. He is not in a +large way, but he is well known as a very ingenious man. A dozen years +ago, he perfects an invention (involving a very curious secret process) +of great importance to his country and his fellow-creatures. I won't say +how much money it cost him, or how many years of his life he had been +about it, but he brought it to perfection a dozen years ago. Wasn't it a +dozen?' said Mr Meagles, addressing Doyce. 'He is the most exasperating +man in the world; he never complains!' + +'Yes. Rather better than twelve years ago.' + +'Rather better?' said Mr Meagles, 'you mean rather worse. Well, Mr +Clennam, he addresses himself to the Government. The moment he addresses +himself to the Government, he becomes a public offender! Sir,' said Mr +Meagles, in danger of making himself excessively hot again, 'he ceases +to be an innocent citizen, and becomes a culprit. He is treated from +that instant as a man who has done some infernal action. He is a man to +be shirked, put off, brow-beaten, sneered at, handed over by this +highly-connected young or old gentleman, to that highly-connected young +or old gentleman, and dodged back again; he is a man with no rights in +his own time, or his own property; a mere outlaw, whom it is justifiable +to get rid of anyhow; a man to be worn out by all possible means.' + +It was not so difficult to believe, after the morning's experience, as +Mr Meagles supposed. + +'Don't stand there, Doyce, turning your spectacle-case over and over,' +cried Mr Meagles, 'but tell Mr Clennam what you confessed to me.' + +'I undoubtedly was made to feel,' said the inventor, 'as if I had +committed an offence. In dancing attendance at the various offices, I +was always treated, more or less, as if it was a very bad offence. I +have frequently found it necessary to reflect, for my own self-support, +that I really had not done anything to bring myself into the Newgate +Calendar, but only wanted to effect a great saving and a great +improvement.' + +'There!' said Mr Meagles. 'Judge whether I exaggerate. Now you'll be +able to believe me when I tell you the rest of the case.' + +With this prelude, Mr Meagles went through the narrative; the +established narrative, which has become tiresome; the matter-of-course +narrative which we all know by heart. How, after interminable attendance +and correspondence, after infinite impertinences, ignorances, and +insults, my lords made a Minute, number three thousand four hundred +and seventy-two, allowing the culprit to make certain trials of his +invention at his own expense. How the trials were made in the presence +of a board of six, of whom two ancient members were too blind to see it, +two other ancient members were too deaf to hear it, one other ancient +member was too lame to get near it, and the final ancient member was too +pig-headed to look at it. How there were more years; more impertinences, +ignorances, and insults. How my lords then made a Minute, number five +thousand one hundred and three, whereby they resigned the business to +the Circumlocution Office. How the Circumlocution Office, in course of +time, took up the business as if it were a bran new thing of yesterday, +which had never been heard of before; muddled the business, addled the +business, tossed the business in a wet blanket. How the impertinences, +ignorances, and insults went through the multiplication table. How there +was a reference of the invention to three Barnacles and a Stiltstalking, +who knew nothing about it; into whose heads nothing could be hammered +about it; who got bored about it, and reported physical impossibilities +about it. How the Circumlocution Office, in a Minute, number eight +thousand seven hundred and forty, 'saw no reason to reverse the decision +at which my lords had arrived.' How the Circumlocution Office, being +reminded that my lords had arrived at no decision, shelved the business. +How there had been a final interview with the head of the Circumlocution +Office that very morning, and how the Brazen Head had spoken, and had +been, upon the whole, and under all the circumstances, and looking at it +from the various points of view, of opinion that one of two courses was +to be pursued in respect of the business: that was to say, either to +leave it alone for evermore, or to begin it all over again. + +'Upon which,' said Mr Meagles, 'as a practical man, I then and there, in +that presence, took Doyce by the collar, and told him it was plain to +me that he was an infamous rascal and treasonable disturber of the +government peace, and took him away. I brought him out of the office +door by the collar, that the very porter might know I was a practical +man who appreciated the official estimate of such characters; and here +we are!' + +If that airy young Barnacle had been there, he would have frankly told +them perhaps that the Circumlocution Office had achieved its function. +That what the Barnacles had to do, was to stick on to the national ship +as long as they could. That to trim the ship, lighten the ship, clean +the ship, would be to knock them off; that they could but be knocked off +once; and that if the ship went down with them yet sticking to it, that +was the ship's look out, and not theirs. + +'There!' said Mr Meagles, 'now you know all about Doyce. Except, which I +own does not improve my state of mind, that even now you don't hear him +complain.' + +'You must have great patience,' said Arthur Clennam, looking at him with +some wonder, 'great forbearance.' + +'No,' he returned, 'I don't know that I have more than another man.' + +'By the Lord, you have more than I have, though!' cried Mr Meagles. + +Doyce smiled, as he said to Clennam, 'You see, my experience of these +things does not begin with myself. It has been in my way to know a +little about them from time to time. Mine is not a particular case. I am +not worse used than a hundred others who have put themselves in the same +position--than all the others, I was going to say.' + +'I don't know that I should find that a consolation, if it were my case; +but I am very glad that you do.' + +'Understand me! I don't say,' he replied in his steady, planning +way, and looking into the distance before him as if his grey eye were +measuring it, 'that it's recompense for a man's toil and hope; but it's +a certain sort of relief to know that I might have counted on this.' + +He spoke in that quiet deliberate manner, and in that undertone, which +is often observable in mechanics who consider and adjust with great +nicety. It belonged to him like his suppleness of thumb, or his peculiar +way of tilting up his hat at the back every now and then, as if he were +contemplating some half-finished work of his hand and thinking about it. + +'Disappointed?' he went on, as he walked between them under the trees. +'Yes. No doubt I am disappointed. Hurt? Yes. No doubt I am hurt. That's +only natural. But what I mean when I say that people who put themselves +in the same position are mostly used in the same way--' + +'In England,' said Mr Meagles. + +'Oh! of course I mean in England. When they take their inventions into +foreign countries, that's quite different. And that's the reason why so +many go there.' + +Mr Meagles very hot indeed again. + +'What I mean is, that however this comes to be the regular way of our +government, it is its regular way. Have you ever heard of any projector +or inventor who failed to find it all but inaccessible, and whom it did +not discourage and ill-treat?' + +'I cannot say that I ever have.' + +'Have you ever known it to be beforehand in the adoption of any useful +thing? Ever known it to set an example of any useful kind?' + +'I am a good deal older than my friend here,' said Mr Meagles, 'and I'll +answer that. Never.' + +'But we all three have known, I expect,' said the inventor, 'a pretty +many cases of its fixed determination to be miles upon miles, and years +upon years, behind the rest of us; and of its being found out persisting +in the use of things long superseded, even after the better things were +well known and generally taken up?' + +They all agreed upon that. + +'Well then,' said Doyce, with a sigh, 'as I know what such a metal will +do at such a temperature, and such a body under such a pressure, so I +may know (if I will only consider), how these great lords and gentlemen +will certainly deal with such a matter as mine. I have no right to be +surprised, with a head upon my shoulders, and memory in it, that I fall +into the ranks with all who came before me. I ought to have let it +alone. I have had warning enough, I am sure.' + +With that he put up his spectacle-case, and said to Arthur, 'If I don't +complain, Mr Clennam, I can feel gratitude; and I assure you that I +feel it towards our mutual friend. Many's the day, and many's the way in +which he has backed me.' + +'Stuff and nonsense,' said Mr Meagles. + +Arthur could not but glance at Daniel Doyce in the ensuing silence. +Though it was evidently in the grain of his character, and of his +respect for his own case, that he should abstain from idle murmuring, +it was evident that he had grown the older, the sterner, and the poorer, +for his long endeavour. He could not but think what a blessed thing +it would have been for this man, if he had taken a lesson from the +gentlemen who were so kind as to take a nation's affairs in charge, and +had learnt How not to do it. + +Mr Meagles was hot and despondent for about five minutes, and then began +to cool and clear up. + +'Come, come!' said he. 'We shall not make this the better by being grim. +Where do you think of going, Dan?' + +'I shall go back to the factory,' said Dan. + +'Why then, we'll all go back to the factory, or walk in that direction,' +returned Mr Meagles cheerfully. 'Mr Clennam won't be deterred by its +being in Bleeding Heart Yard.' + +'Bleeding Heart Yard?' said Clennam. 'I want to go there.' + +'So much the better,' cried Mr Meagles. 'Come along!' + +As they went along, certainly one of the party, and probably more than +one, thought that Bleeding Heart Yard was no inappropriate destination +for a man who had been in official correspondence with my lords and the +Barnacles--and perhaps had a misgiving also that Britannia herself might +come to look for lodgings in Bleeding Heart Yard some ugly day or other, +if she over-did the Circumlocution Office. + + + +CHAPTER 11. Let Loose + + +A late, dull autumn night was closing in upon the river Saone. The +stream, like a sullied looking-glass in a gloomy place, reflected the +clouds heavily; and the low banks leaned over here and there, as if they +were half curious, and half afraid, to see their darkening pictures in +the water. The flat expanse of country about Chalons lay a long heavy +streak, occasionally made a little ragged by a row of poplar trees +against the wrathful sunset. On the banks of the river Saone it was wet, +depressing, solitary; and the night deepened fast. + +One man slowly moving on towards Chalons was the only visible figure in +the landscape. Cain might have looked as lonely and avoided. With an old +sheepskin knapsack at his back, and a rough, unbarked stick cut out of +some wood in his hand; miry, footsore, his shoes and gaiters trodden +out, his hair and beard untrimmed; the cloak he carried over his +shoulder, and the clothes he wore, sodden with wet; limping along in +pain and difficulty; he looked as if the clouds were hurrying from him, +as if the wail of the wind and the shuddering of the grass were directed +against him, as if the low mysterious plashing of the water murmured at +him, as if the fitful autumn night were disturbed by him. + +He glanced here, and he glanced there, sullenly but shrinkingly; and +sometimes stopped and turned about, and looked all round him. Then he +limped on again, toiling and muttering. + +'To the devil with this plain that has no end! To the devil with these +stones that cut like knives! To the devil with this dismal darkness, +wrapping itself about one with a chill! I hate you!' + +And he would have visited his hatred upon it all with the scowl he threw +about him, if he could. He trudged a little further; and looking into +the distance before him, stopped again. + +'I, hungry, thirsty, weary. You, imbeciles, where the lights are yonder, +eating and drinking, and warming yourselves at fires! I wish I had the +sacking of your town; I would repay you, my children!' + +But the teeth he set at the town, and the hand he shook at the town, +brought the town no nearer; and the man was yet hungrier, and thirstier, +and wearier, when his feet were on its jagged pavement, and he stood +looking about him. + +There was the hotel with its gateway, and its savoury smell of cooking; +there was the cafe with its bright windows, and its rattling of +dominoes; there was the dyer's with its strips of red cloth on the +doorposts; there was the silversmith's with its earrings, and its +offerings for altars; there was the tobacco dealer's with its lively +group of soldier customers coming out pipe in mouth; there were the bad +odours of the town, and the rain and the refuse in the kennels, and +the faint lamps slung across the road, and the huge Diligence, and its +mountain of luggage, and its six grey horses with their tails tied up, +getting under weigh at the coach office. But no small cabaret for a +straitened traveller being within sight, he had to seek one round the +dark corner, where the cabbage leaves lay thickest, trodden about the +public cistern at which women had not yet left off drawing water. There, +in the back street he found one, the Break of Day. The curtained windows +clouded the Break of Day, but it seemed light and warm, and it announced +in legible inscriptions with appropriate pictorial embellishment +of billiard cue and ball, that at the Break of Day one could play +billiards; that there one could find meat, drink, and lodgings, whether +one came on horseback, or came on foot; and that it kept good wines, +liqueurs, and brandy. The man turned the handle of the Break of Day +door, and limped in. + +He touched his discoloured slouched hat, as he came in at the door, to +a few men who occupied the room. Two were playing dominoes at one of the +little tables; three or four were seated round the stove, conversing +as they smoked; the billiard-table in the centre was left alone for the +time; the landlady of the Daybreak sat behind her little counter among +her cloudy bottles of syrups, baskets of cakes, and leaden drainage for +glasses, working at her needle. + +Making his way to an empty little table in a corner of the room behind +the stove, he put down his knapsack and his cloak upon the ground. As +he raised his head from stooping to do so, he found the landlady beside +him. + +'One can lodge here to-night, madame?' + +'Perfectly!' said the landlady in a high, sing-song, cheery voice. + +'Good. One can dine--sup--what you please to call it?' + +'Ah, perfectly!' cried the landlady as before. + +'Dispatch then, madame, if you please. Something to eat, as quickly as +you can; and some wine at once. I am exhausted.' + +'It is very bad weather, monsieur,' said the landlady. + +'Cursed weather.' + +'And a very long road.' + +'A cursed road.' + +His hoarse voice failed him, and he rested his head upon his hands until +a bottle of wine was brought from the counter. Having filled and emptied +his little tumbler twice, and having broken off an end from the great +loaf that was set before him with his cloth and napkin, soup-plate, +salt, pepper, and oil, he rested his back against the corner of the +wall, made a couch of the bench on which he sat, and began to chew +crust, until such time as his repast should be ready. + +There had been that momentary interruption of the talk about the stove, +and that temporary inattention to and distraction from one another, +which is usually inseparable in such a company from the arrival of a +stranger. It had passed over by this time; and the men had done glancing +at him, and were talking again. + +'That's the true reason,' said one of them, bringing a story he had +been telling, to a close, 'that's the true reason why they said that the +devil was let loose.' The speaker was the tall Swiss belonging to the +church, and he brought something of the authority of the church into the +discussion--especially as the devil was in question. + +The landlady having given her directions for the new guest's +entertainment to her husband, who acted as cook to the Break of Day, had +resumed her needlework behind her counter. She was a smart, neat, bright +little woman, with a good deal of cap and a good deal of stocking, and +she struck into the conversation with several laughing nods of her head, +but without looking up from her work. + +'Ah Heaven, then,' said she. 'When the boat came up from Lyons, and +brought the news that the devil was actually let loose at Marseilles, +some fly-catchers swallowed it. But I? No, not I.' + +'Madame, you are always right,' returned the tall Swiss. 'Doubtless you +were enraged against that man, madame?' + +'Ay, yes, then!' cried the landlady, raising her eyes from her work, +opening them very wide, and tossing her head on one side. 'Naturally, +yes.' + +'He was a bad subject.' + +'He was a wicked wretch,' said the landlady, 'and well merited what he +had the good fortune to escape. So much the worse.' + +'Stay, madame! Let us see,' returned the Swiss, argumentatively turning +his cigar between his lips. 'It may have been his unfortunate destiny. +He may have been the child of circumstances. It is always possible that +he had, and has, good in him if one did but know how to find it out. +Philosophical philanthropy teaches--' + +The rest of the little knot about the stove murmured an objection to +the introduction of that threatening expression. Even the two players +at dominoes glanced up from their game, as if to protest against +philosophical philanthropy being brought by name into the Break of Day. + +'Hold there, you and your philanthropy,' cried the smiling landlady, +nodding her head more than ever. 'Listen then. I am a woman, I. I know +nothing of philosophical philanthropy. But I know what I have seen, and +what I have looked in the face in this world here, where I find myself. +And I tell you this, my friend, that there are people (men and women +both, unfortunately) who have no good in them--none. That there are +people whom it is necessary to detest without compromise. That there are +people who must be dealt with as enemies of the human race. That there +are people who have no human heart, and who must be crushed like savage +beasts and cleared out of the way. They are but few, I hope; but I have +seen (in this world here where I find myself, and even at the little +Break of Day) that there are such people. And I do not doubt that this +man--whatever they call him, I forget his name--is one of them.' + +The landlady's lively speech was received with greater favour at +the Break of Day, than it would have elicited from certain amiable +whitewashers of the class she so unreasonably objected to, nearer Great +Britain. + +'My faith! If your philosophical philanthropy,' said the landlady, +putting down her work, and rising to take the stranger's soup from her +husband, who appeared with it at a side door, 'puts anybody at the mercy +of such people by holding terms with them at all, in words or deeds, or +both, take it away from the Break of Day, for it isn't worth a sou.' + +As she placed the soup before the guest, who changed his attitude to a +sitting one, he looked her full in the face, and his moustache went up +under his nose, and his nose came down over his moustache. + +'Well!' said the previous speaker, 'let us come back to our subject. +Leaving all that aside, gentlemen, it was because the man was acquitted +on his trial that people said at Marseilles that the devil was let +loose. That was how the phrase began to circulate, and what it meant; +nothing more.' + +'How do they call him?' said the landlady. 'Biraud, is it not?' + +'Rigaud, madame,' returned the tall Swiss. + +'Rigaud! To be sure.' + +The traveller's soup was succeeded by a dish of meat, and that by a dish +of vegetables. He ate all that was placed before him, emptied his bottle +of wine, called for a glass of rum, and smoked his cigarette with +his cup of coffee. As he became refreshed, he became overbearing; and +patronised the company at the Daybreak in certain small talk at which he +assisted, as if his condition were far above his appearance. + +The company might have had other engagements, or they might have felt +their inferiority, but in any case they dispersed by degrees, and not +being replaced by other company, left their new patron in possession of +the Break of Day. The landlord was clinking about in his kitchen; the +landlady was quiet at her work; and the refreshed traveller sat smoking +by the stove, warming his ragged feet. + +'Pardon me, madame--that Biraud.' + +'Rigaud, monsieur.' + +'Rigaud. Pardon me again--has contracted your displeasure, how?' + +The landlady, who had been at one moment thinking within herself that +this was a handsome man, at another moment that this was an ill-looking +man, observed the nose coming down and the moustache going up, and +strongly inclined to the latter decision. Rigaud was a criminal, she +said, who had killed his wife. + +'Ay, ay? Death of my life, that's a criminal indeed. But how do you know +it?' + +'All the world knows it.' + +'Hah! And yet he escaped justice?' + +'Monsieur, the law could not prove it against him to its satisfaction. +So the law says. Nevertheless, all the world knows he did it. The people +knew it so well, that they tried to tear him to pieces.' + +'Being all in perfect accord with their own wives?' said the guest. 'Haha!' + +The landlady of the Break of Day looked at him again, and felt almost +confirmed in her last decision. He had a fine hand, though, and he +turned it with a great show. She began once more to think that he was +not ill-looking after all. + +'Did you mention, madame--or was it mentioned among the gentlemen--what +became of him?' + +The landlady shook her head; it being the first conversational stage at +which her vivacious earnestness had ceased to nod it, keeping time to what +she said. It had been mentioned at the Daybreak, she remarked, on the +authority of the journals, that he had been kept in prison for his own +safety. However that might be, he had escaped his deserts; so much the +worse. + +The guest sat looking at her as he smoked out his final cigarette, and +as she sat with her head bent over her work, with an expression that +might have resolved her doubts, and brought her to a lasting conclusion +on the subject of his good or bad looks if she had seen it. When she did +look up, the expression was not there. The hand was smoothing his shaggy +moustache. + +'May one ask to be shown to bed, madame?' + +Very willingly, monsieur. Hola, my husband! My husband would conduct him +up-stairs. There was one traveller there, asleep, who had gone to bed +very early indeed, being overpowered by fatigue; but it was a large +chamber with two beds in it, and space enough for twenty. This the +landlady of the Break of Day chirpingly explained, calling between +whiles, 'Hola, my husband!' out at the side door. + +My husband answered at length, 'It is I, my wife!' and presenting +himself in his cook's cap, lighted the traveller up a steep and narrow +staircase; the traveller carrying his own cloak and knapsack, and +bidding the landlady good night with a complimentary reference to the +pleasure of seeing her again to-morrow. It was a large room, with a +rough splintery floor, unplastered rafters overhead, and two bedsteads +on opposite sides. Here 'my husband' put down the candle he carried, and +with a sidelong look at his guest stooping over his knapsack, gruffly +gave him the instruction, 'The bed to the right!' and left him to his +repose. The landlord, whether he was a good or a bad physiognomist, had +fully made up his mind that the guest was an ill-looking fellow. + +The guest looked contemptuously at the clean coarse bedding prepared for +him, and, sitting down on the rush chair at the bedside, drew his money +out of his pocket, and told it over in his hand. 'One must eat,' he +muttered to himself, 'but by Heaven I must eat at the cost of some other +man to-morrow!' + +As he sat pondering, and mechanically weighing his money in his palm, +the deep breathing of the traveller in the other bed fell so regularly +upon his hearing that it attracted his eyes in that direction. The man +was covered up warm, and had drawn the white curtain at his head, so +that he could be only heard, not seen. But the deep regular breathing, +still going on while the other was taking off his worn shoes and +gaiters, and still continuing when he had laid aside his coat and +cravat, became at length a strong provocative to curiosity, and +incentive to get a glimpse of the sleeper's face. + +The waking traveller, therefore, stole a little nearer, and yet a little +nearer, and a little nearer to the sleeping traveller's bed, until he +stood close beside it. Even then he could not see his face, for he had +drawn the sheet over it. The regular breathing still continuing, he put +his smooth white hand (such a treacherous hand it looked, as it went +creeping from him!) to the sheet, and gently lifted it away. + +'Death of my soul!' he whispered, falling back, 'here's Cavalletto!' + +The little Italian, previously influenced in his sleep, perhaps, by the +stealthy presence at his bedside, stopped in his regular breathing, and +with a long deep respiration opened his eyes. At first they were not +awake, though open. He lay for some seconds looking placidly at his +old prison companion, and then, all at once, with a cry of surprise and +alarm, sprang out of bed. + +'Hush! What's the matter? Keep quiet! It's I. You know me?' cried the +other, in a suppressed voice. + +But John Baptist, widely staring, muttering a number of invocations +and ejaculations, tremblingly backing into a corner, slipping on +his trousers, and tying his coat by the two sleeves round his neck, +manifested an unmistakable desire to escape by the door rather than +renew the acquaintance. Seeing this, his old prison comrade fell back +upon the door, and set his shoulders against it. + +'Cavalletto! Wake, boy! Rub your eyes and look at me. Not the name you +used to call me--don't use that--Lagnier, say Lagnier!' + +John Baptist, staring at him with eyes opened to their utmost width, +made a number of those national, backhanded shakes of the right +forefinger in the air, as if he were resolved on negativing beforehand +everything that the other could possibly advance during the whole term +of his life. + +'Cavalletto! Give me your hand. You know Lagnier, the gentleman. Touch +the hand of a gentleman!' + +Submitting himself to the old tone of condescending authority, John +Baptist, not at all steady on his legs as yet, advanced and put his +hand in his patron's. Monsieur Lagnier laughed; and having given it a +squeeze, tossed it up and let it go. + +'Then you were--' faltered John Baptist. + +'Not shaved? No. See here!' cried Lagnier, giving his head a twirl; 'as +tight on as your own.' + +John Baptist, with a slight shiver, looked all round the room as if to +recall where he was. His patron took that opportunity of turning the key +in the door, and then sat down upon his bed. + +'Look!' he said, holding up his shoes and gaiters. 'That's a poor trim +for a gentleman, you'll say. No matter, you shall see how soon I'll mend +it. Come and sit down. Take your old place!' + +John Baptist, looking anything but reassured, sat down on the floor at +the bedside, keeping his eyes upon his patron all the time. + +'That's well!' cried Lagnier. 'Now we might be in the old infernal hole +again, hey? How long have you been out?' + +'Two days after you, my master.' + +'How do you come here?' + +'I was cautioned not to stay there, and so I left the town at once, +and since then I have changed about. I have been doing odds and ends at +Avignon, at Pont Esprit, at Lyons; upon the Rhone, upon the Saone.' As +he spoke, he rapidly mapped the places out with his sunburnt hand upon +the floor. + +'And where are you going?' + +'Going, my master?' + +'Ay!' + +John Baptist seemed to desire to evade the question without knowing how. +'By Bacchus!' he said at last, as if he were forced to the admission, 'I +have sometimes had a thought of going to Paris, and perhaps to England.' + +'Cavalletto. This is in confidence. I also am going to Paris and perhaps +to England. We'll go together.' + +The little man nodded his head, and showed his teeth; and yet seemed not +quite convinced that it was a surpassingly desirable arrangement. + +'We'll go together,' repeated Lagnier. 'You shall see how soon I will +force myself to be recognised as a gentleman, and you shall profit by +it. It is agreed? Are we one?' + +'Oh, surely, surely!' said the little man. + +'Then you shall hear before I sleep--and in six words, for I want +sleep--how I appear before you, I, Lagnier. Remember that. Not the +other.' + +'Altro, altro! Not Ri----' Before John Baptist could finish the name, his +comrade had got his hand under his chin and fiercely shut up his mouth. + +'Death! what are you doing? Do you want me to be trampled upon and +stoned? Do _you_ want to be trampled upon and stoned? You would be. You +don't imagine that they would set upon me, and let my prison chum go? +Don't think it!' + +There was an expression in his face as he released his grip of his +friend's jaw, from which his friend inferred that if the course of +events really came to any stoning and trampling, Monsieur Lagnier would +so distinguish him with his notice as to ensure his having his full +share of it. He remembered what a cosmopolitan gentleman Monsieur +Lagnier was, and how few weak distinctions he made. + +'I am a man,' said Monsieur Lagnier, 'whom society has deeply wronged +since you last saw me. You know that I am sensitive and brave, and that +it is my character to govern. How has society respected those qualities +in me? I have been shrieked at through the streets. I have been guarded +through the streets against men, and especially women, running at me +armed with any weapons they could lay their hands on. I have lain in +prison for security, with the place of my confinement kept a secret, +lest I should be torn out of it and felled by a hundred blows. I have +been carted out of Marseilles in the dead of night, and carried leagues +away from it packed in straw. It has not been safe for me to go near my +house; and, with a beggar's pittance in my pocket, I have walked through +vile mud and weather ever since, until my feet are crippled--look at +them! Such are the humiliations that society has inflicted upon me, +possessing the qualities I have mentioned, and which you know me to +possess. But society shall pay for it.' + +All this he said in his companion's ear, and with his hand before his +lips. + +'Even here,' he went on in the same way, 'even in this mean +drinking-shop, society pursues me. Madame defames me, and her guests +defame me. I, too, a gentleman with manners and accomplishments +to strike them dead! But the wrongs society has heaped upon me are +treasured in this breast.' + +To all of which John Baptist, listening attentively to the suppressed +hoarse voice, said from time to time, 'Surely, surely!' tossing his +head and shutting his eyes, as if there were the clearest case against +society that perfect candour could make out. + +'Put my shoes there,' continued Lagnier. 'Hang my cloak to dry there +by the door. Take my hat.' He obeyed each instruction, as it was given. +'And this is the bed to which society consigns me, is it? Hah. _Very_ +well!' + +As he stretched out his length upon it, with a ragged handkerchief +bound round his wicked head, and only his wicked head showing above the +bedclothes, John Baptist was rather strongly reminded of what had so +very nearly happened to prevent the moustache from any more going up as +it did, and the nose from any more coming down as it did. + +'Shaken out of destiny's dice-box again into your company, eh? By +Heaven! So much the better for you. You'll profit by it. I shall need a +long rest. Let me sleep in the morning.' + +John Baptist replied that he should sleep as long as he would, and +wishing him a happy night, put out the candle. One might have supposed +that the next proceeding of the Italian would have been to undress; +but he did exactly the reverse, and dressed himself from head to foot, +saving his shoes. When he had so done, he lay down upon his bed with +some of its coverings over him, and his coat still tied round his neck, +to get through the night. + +When he started up, the Godfather Break of Day was peeping at its +namesake. He rose, took his shoes in his hand, turned the key in the +door with great caution, and crept downstairs. Nothing was astir there +but the smell of coffee, wine, tobacco, and syrups; and madame's little +counter looked ghastly enough. But he had paid madame his little note +at it over night, and wanted to see nobody--wanted nothing but to get on +his shoes and his knapsack, open the door, and run away. + +He prospered in his object. No movement or voice was heard when he +opened the door; no wicked head tied up in a ragged handkerchief looked +out of the upper window. When the sun had raised his full disc above the +flat line of the horizon, and was striking fire out of the long muddy +vista of paved road with its weary avenue of little trees, a black speck +moved along the road and splashed among the flaming pools of rain-water, +which black speck was John Baptist Cavalletto running away from his +patron. + + + + +CHAPTER 12. Bleeding Heart Yard + + +In London itself, though in the old rustic road towards a suburb of note +where in the days of William Shakespeare, author and stage-player, there +were Royal hunting-seats--howbeit no sport is left there now but for +hunters of men--Bleeding Heart Yard was to be found; a place much +changed in feature and in fortune, yet with some relish of ancient +greatness about it. Two or three mighty stacks of chimneys, and a few +large dark rooms which had escaped being walled and subdivided out of +the recognition of their old proportions, gave the Yard a character. +It was inhabited by poor people, who set up their rest among its faded +glories, as Arabs of the desert pitch their tents among the fallen +stones of the Pyramids; but there was a family sentimental feeling +prevalent in the Yard, that it had a character. + +As if the aspiring city had become puffed up in the very ground on which +it stood, the ground had so risen about Bleeding Heart Yard that you +got into it down a flight of steps which formed no part of the original +approach, and got out of it by a low gateway into a maze of shabby +streets, which went about and about, tortuously ascending to the level +again. At this end of the Yard and over the gateway, was the factory of +Daniel Doyce, often heavily beating like a bleeding heart of iron, +with the clink of metal upon metal. + +The opinion of the Yard was divided respecting the derivation of its +name. The more practical of its inmates abided by the tradition of a +murder; the gentler and more imaginative inhabitants, including the +whole of the tender sex, were loyal to the legend of a young lady of +former times closely imprisoned in her chamber by a cruel father for +remaining true to her own true love, and refusing to marry the suitor he +chose for her. The legend related how that the young lady used to be +seen up at her window behind the bars, murmuring a love-lorn song of +which the burden was, 'Bleeding Heart, Bleeding Heart, bleeding away,' +until she died. It was objected by the murderous party that this Refrain +was notoriously the invention of a tambour-worker, a spinster and +romantic, still lodging in the Yard. But, forasmuch as all favourite +legends must be associated with the affections, and as many more people +fall in love than commit murder--which it may be hoped, howsoever bad we +are, will continue until the end of the world to be the dispensation +under which we shall live--the Bleeding Heart, Bleeding Heart, bleeding +away story, carried the day by a great majority. Neither party would +listen to the antiquaries who delivered learned lectures in the +neighbourhood, showing the Bleeding Heart to have been the heraldic +cognisance of the old family to whom the property had once belonged. +And, considering that the hour-glass they turned from year to year was +filled with the earthiest and coarsest sand, the Bleeding Heart Yarders +had reason enough for objecting to be despoiled of the one little golden +grain of poetry that sparkled in it. + +Down in to the Yard, by way of the steps, came Daniel Doyce, Mr Meagles, +and Clennam. Passing along the Yard, and between the open doors on +either hand, all abundantly garnished with light children nursing heavy +ones, they arrived at its opposite boundary, the gateway. Here Arthur +Clennam stopped to look about him for the domicile of Plornish, +plasterer, whose name, according to the custom of Londoners, Daniel +Doyce had never seen or heard of to that hour. + +It was plain enough, nevertheless, as Little Dorrit had said; over a +lime-splashed gateway in the corner, within which Plornish kept a ladder +and a barrel or two. The last house in Bleeding Heart Yard which she +had described as his place of habitation, was a large house, let off to +various tenants; but Plornish ingeniously hinted that he lived in the +parlour, by means of a painted hand under his name, the forefinger of +which hand (on which the artist had depicted a ring and a most elaborate +nail of the genteelest form) referred all inquirers to that apartment. + +Parting from his companions, after arranging another meeting with +Mr Meagles, Clennam went alone into the entry, and knocked with his +knuckles at the parlour-door. It was opened presently by a woman with +a child in her arms, whose unoccupied hand was hastily rearranging the +upper part of her dress. This was Mrs Plornish, and this maternal +action was the action of Mrs Plornish during a large part of her waking +existence. + +Was Mr Plornish at home? 'Well, sir,' said Mrs Plornish, a civil woman, +'not to deceive you, he's gone to look for a job.' + +'Not to deceive you' was a method of speech with Mrs Plornish. She would +deceive you, under any circumstances, as little as might be; but she had +a trick of answering in this provisional form. + +'Do you think he will be back soon, if I wait for him?' + +'I have been expecting him,' said Mrs Plornish, 'this half an hour, at +any minute of time. Walk in, sir.' + +Arthur entered the rather dark and close parlour (though it was lofty too), +and sat down in the chair she placed for him. + +'Not to deceive you, sir, I notice it,' said Mrs Plornish, 'and I take +it kind of you.' + +He was at a loss to understand what she meant; and by expressing as much +in his looks, elicited her explanation. + +'It ain't many that comes into a poor place, that deems it worth their +while to move their hats,' said Mrs Plornish. 'But people think more of +it than people think.' + +Clennam returned, with an uncomfortable feeling in so very slight a +courtesy being unusual, Was that all! And stooping down to pinch the +cheek of another young child who was sitting on the floor, staring at +him, asked Mrs Plornish how old that fine boy was? + +'Four year just turned, sir,' said Mrs Plornish. 'He _is_ a fine little +fellow, ain't he, sir? But this one is rather sickly.' She tenderly +hushed the baby in her arms, as she said it. 'You wouldn't mind my +asking if it happened to be a job as you was come about, sir, would +you?' asked Mrs Plornish wistfully. + +She asked it so anxiously, that if he had been in possession of any +kind of tenement, he would have had it plastered a foot deep rather +than answer No. But he was obliged to answer No; and he saw a shade of +disappointment on her face, as she checked a sigh, and looked at the +low fire. Then he saw, also, that Mrs Plornish was a young woman, made +somewhat slatternly in herself and her belongings by poverty; and so +dragged at by poverty and the children together, that their united +forces had already dragged her face into wrinkles. + +'All such things as jobs,' said Mrs Plornish, 'seems to me to have gone +underground, they do indeed.' (Herein Mrs Plornish limited her remark to +the plastering trade, and spoke without reference to the Circumlocution +Office and the Barnacle Family.) + +'Is it so difficult to get work?' asked Arthur Clennam. + +'Plornish finds it so,' she returned. 'He is quite unfortunate. Really +he is.' + +Really he was. He was one of those many wayfarers on the road of life, +who seem to be afflicted with supernatural corns, rendering it +impossible for them to keep up even with their lame competitors. A +willing, working, soft hearted, not hard-headed fellow, Plornish took +his fortune as smoothly as could be expected; but it was a rough one. It +so rarely happened that anybody seemed to want him, it was such an +exceptional case when his powers were in any request, that his misty +mind could not make out how it happened. He took it as it came, +therefore; he tumbled into all kinds of difficulties, and tumbled out of +them; and, by tumbling through life, got himself considerably bruised. + +'It's not for want of looking after jobs, I am sure,' said Mrs Plornish, +lifting up her eyebrows, and searching for a solution of the problem +between the bars of the grate; 'nor yet for want of working at them when +they are to be got. No one ever heard my husband complain of work.' + +Somehow or other, this was the general misfortune of Bleeding Heart +Yard. From time to time there were public complaints, pathetically +going about, of labour being scarce--which certain people seemed to take +extraordinarily ill, as though they had an absolute right to it on their +own terms--but Bleeding Heart Yard, though as willing a Yard as any in +Britain, was never the better for the demand. That high old family, the +Barnacles, had long been too busy with their great principle to look +into the matter; and indeed the matter had nothing to do with their +watchfulness in out-generalling all other high old families except the +Stiltstalkings. + +While Mrs Plornish spoke in these words of her absent lord, her lord +returned. A smooth-cheeked, fresh-coloured, sandy-whiskered man of +thirty. Long in the legs, yielding at the knees, foolish in the face, +flannel-jacketed, lime-whitened. + +'This is Plornish, sir.' + +'I came,' said Clennam, rising, 'to beg the favour of a little +conversation with you on the subject of the Dorrit family.' + +Plornish became suspicious. Seemed to scent a creditor. Said, 'Ah, yes. +Well. He didn't know what satisfaction _he_ could give any gentleman, +respecting that family. What might it be about, now?' + +'I know you better,' said Clennam, smiling, 'than you suppose.' + +Plornish observed, not smiling in return, And yet he hadn't the pleasure +of being acquainted with the gentleman, neither. + +'No,' said Arthur, 'I know your kind offices at second hand, but on the +best authority; through Little Dorrit.--I mean,' he explained, 'Miss +Dorrit.' + +'Mr Clennam, is it? Oh! I've heard of you, Sir.' + +'And I of you,' said Arthur. + +'Please to sit down again, Sir, and consider yourself welcome.--Why, +yes,' said Plornish, taking a chair, and lifting the elder child upon +his knee, that he might have the moral support of speaking to a stranger +over his head, 'I have been on the wrong side of the Lock myself, and +in that way we come to know Miss Dorrit. Me and my wife, we are well +acquainted with Miss Dorrit.' + +'Intimate!' cried Mrs Plornish. Indeed, she was so proud of the +acquaintance, that she had awakened some bitterness of spirit in the +Yard by magnifying to an enormous amount the sum for which Miss Dorrit's +father had become insolvent. The Bleeding Hearts resented her claiming +to know people of such distinction. + +'It was her father that I got acquainted with first. And through getting +acquainted with him, you see--why--I got acquainted with her,' said +Plornish tautologically. + +'I see.' + +'Ah! And there's manners! There's polish! There's a gentleman to have +run to seed in the Marshalsea jail! Why, perhaps you are not aware,' +said Plornish, lowering his voice, and speaking with a perverse +admiration of what he ought to have pitied or despised, 'not aware that +Miss Dorrit and her sister dursn't let him know that they work for a +living. No!' said Plornish, looking with a ridiculous triumph first at +his wife, and then all round the room. 'Dursn't let him know it, they +dursn't!' + +'Without admiring him for that,' Clennam quietly observed, 'I am very +sorry for him.' The remark appeared to suggest to Plornish, for the +first time, that it might not be a very fine trait of character after +all. He pondered about it for a moment, and gave it up. + +'As to me,' he resumed, 'certainly Mr Dorrit is as affable with me, I +am sure, as I can possibly expect. Considering the differences and +distances betwixt us, more so. But it's Miss Dorrit that we were +speaking of.' + +'True. Pray how did you introduce her at my mother's!' + +Mr Plornish picked a bit of lime out of his whisker, put it between his +lips, turned it with his tongue like a sugar-plum, considered, found +himself unequal to the task of lucid explanation, and appealing to his +wife, said, 'Sally, _you_ may as well mention how it was, old woman.' + +'Miss Dorrit,' said Sally, hushing the baby from side to side, and +laying her chin upon the little hand as it tried to disarrange the gown +again, 'came here one afternoon with a bit of writing, telling that +how she wished for needlework, and asked if it would be considered any +ill-conwenience in case she was to give her address here.' (Plornish +repeated, her address here, in a low voice, as if he were making +responses at church.) 'Me and Plornish says, No, Miss Dorrit, no +ill-conwenience,' (Plornish repeated, no ill-conwenience,) 'and she +wrote it in, according. Which then me and Plornish says, Ho Miss +Dorrit!' (Plornish repeated, Ho Miss Dorrit.) 'Have you thought of +copying it three or four times, as the way to make it known in more +places than one? No, says Miss Dorrit, I have not, but I will. She +copied it out according, on this table, in a sweet writing, and +Plornish, he took it where he worked, having a job just then,' (Plornish +repeated job just then,) 'and likewise to the landlord of the Yard; +through which it was that Mrs Clennam first happened to employ Miss +Dorrit.' Plornish repeated, employ Miss Dorrit; and Mrs Plornish having +come to an end, feigned to bite the fingers of the little hand as she +kissed it. + +'The landlord of the Yard,' said Arthur Clennam, 'is--' + +'He is Mr Casby, by name, he is,' said Plornish, 'and Pancks, he +collects the rents. That,' added Mr Plornish, dwelling on the subject +with a slow thoughtfulness that appeared to have no connection with any +specific object, and to lead him nowhere, 'that is about what _they_ are, +you may believe me or not, as you think proper.' + +'Ay?' returned Clennam, thoughtful in his turn. 'Mr Casby, too! An old +acquaintance of mine, long ago!' + +Mr Plornish did not see his road to any comment on this fact, and made +none. As there truly was no reason why he should have the least interest +in it, Arthur Clennam went on to the present purport of his visit; +namely, to make Plornish the instrument of effecting Tip's release, +with as little detriment as possible to the self-reliance and +self-helpfulness of the young man, supposing him to possess any remnant +of those qualities: without doubt a very wide stretch of supposition. +Plornish, having been made acquainted with the cause of action from the +Defendant's own mouth, gave Arthur to understand that the Plaintiff +was a 'Chaunter'--meaning, not a singer of anthems, but a seller of +horses--and that he (Plornish) considered that ten shillings in the +pound 'would settle handsome,' and that more would be a waste of money. +The Principal and instrument soon drove off together to a stable-yard in +High Holborn, where a remarkably fine grey gelding, worth, at the lowest +figure, seventy-five guineas (not taking into account the value of the +shot he had been made to swallow for the improvement of his form), was +to be parted with for a twenty-pound note, in consequence of his having +run away last week with Mrs Captain Barbary of Cheltenham, who wasn't up +to a horse of his courage, and who, in mere spite, insisted on selling +him for that ridiculous sum: or, in other words, on giving him away. +Plornish, going up this yard alone and leaving his Principal outside, +found a gentleman with tight drab legs, a rather old hat, a little +hooked stick, and a blue neckerchief (Captain Maroon of Gloucestershire, +a private friend of Captain Barbary); who happened to be there, in +a friendly way, to mention these little circumstances concerning the +remarkably fine grey gelding to any real judge of a horse and quick +snapper-up of a good thing, who might look in at that address as per +advertisement. This gentleman, happening also to be the Plaintiff in the +Tip case, referred Mr Plornish to his solicitor, and declined to treat +with Mr Plornish, or even to endure his presence in the yard, unless +he appeared there with a twenty-pound note: in which case only, the +gentleman would augur from appearances that he meant business, and +might be induced to talk to him. On this hint, Mr Plornish retired +to communicate with his Principal, and presently came back with the +required credentials. Then said Captain Maroon, 'Now, how much time do +you want to make the other twenty in? Now, I'll give you a month.' Then +said Captain Maroon, when that wouldn't suit, 'Now, I'll tell what I'll +do with you. You shall get me a good bill at four months, made payable +at a banking-house, for the other twenty!' Then said Captain Maroon, +when _that_ wouldn't suit, 'Now, come; Here's the last I've got to say +to you. You shall give me another ten down, and I'll run my pen clean +through it.' Then said Captain Maroon when _that_ wouldn't suit, 'Now, +I'll tell you what it is, and this shuts it up; he has used me bad, but +I'll let him off for another five down and a bottle of wine; and if you +mean done, say done, and if you don't like it, leave it.' Finally said +Captain Maroon, when _that_ wouldn't suit either, 'Hand over, then!'--And +in consideration of the first offer, gave a receipt in full and +discharged the prisoner. + +'Mr Plornish,' said Arthur, 'I trust to you, if you please, to keep my +secret. If you will undertake to let the young man know that he is free, +and to tell him that you were employed to compound for the debt by +some one whom you are not at liberty to name, you will not only do me a +service, but may do him one, and his sister also.' + +'The last reason, sir,' said Plornish, 'would be quite sufficient. Your +wishes shall be attended to.' + +'A Friend has obtained his discharge, you can say if you please. A +Friend who hopes that for his sister's sake, if for no one else's, he +will make good use of his liberty.' + +'Your wishes, sir, shall be attended to.' + +'And if you will be so good, in your better knowledge of the family, as +to communicate freely with me, and to point out to me any means by which +you think I may be delicately and really useful to Little Dorrit, I +shall feel under an obligation to you.' + +'Don't name it, sir,' returned Plornish, 'it'll be ekally a pleasure an +a--it'l be ekally a pleasure and a--' Finding himself unable to balance +his sentence after two efforts, Mr Plornish wisely dropped it. He took +Clennam's card and appropriate pecuniary compliment. + +He was earnest to finish his commission at once, and his Principal +was in the same mind. So his Principal offered to set him down at the +Marshalsea Gate, and they drove in that direction over Blackfriars +Bridge. On the way, Arthur elicited from his new friend a confused +summary of the interior life of Bleeding Heart Yard. They was all hard +up there, Mr Plornish said, uncommon hard up, to be sure. Well, he +couldn't say how it was; he didn't know as anybody _could_ say how it +was; all he know'd was, that so it was. When a man felt, on his own +back and in his own belly, that poor he was, that man (Mr Plornish gave +it as his decided belief) know'd well that he was poor somehow or +another, and you couldn't talk it out of him, no more than you could +talk Beef into him. Then you see, some people as was better off said, +and a good many such people lived pretty close up to the mark themselves +if not beyond it so he'd heerd, that they was 'improvident' (that was +the favourite word) down the Yard. For instance, if they see a man with +his wife and children going to Hampton Court in a Wan, perhaps once in a +year, they says, 'Hallo! I thought you was poor, my improvident friend!' +Why, Lord, how hard it was upon a man! What was a man to do? He couldn't +go mollancholy mad, and even if he did, you wouldn't be the better for +it. In Mr Plornish's judgment you would be the worse for it. Yet you +seemed to want to make a man mollancholy mad. You was always at it--if +not with your right hand, with your left. What was they a doing in the +Yard? Why, take a look at 'em and see. There was the girls and their +mothers a working at their sewing, or their shoe-binding, or their +trimming, or their waistcoat making, day and night and night and day, +and not more than able to keep body and soul together after all--often +not so much. There was people of pretty well all sorts of trades you +could name, all wanting to work, and yet not able to get it. There was +old people, after working all their lives, going and being shut up in +the workhouse, much worse fed and lodged and treated altogether, +than--Mr Plornish said manufacturers, but appeared to mean malefactors. +Why, a man didn't know where to turn himself for a crumb of comfort. As +to who was to blame for it, Mr Plornish didn't know who was to blame for +it. He could tell you who suffered, but he couldn't tell you whose fault +it was. It wasn't _his_ place to find out, and who'd mind what he said, +if he did find out? He only know'd that it wasn't put right by them what +undertook that line of business, and that it didn't come right of +itself. And, in brief, his illogical opinion was, that if you couldn't +do nothing for him, you had better take nothing from him for doing of +it; so far as he could make out, that was about what it come to. Thus, +in a prolix, gently-growling, foolish way, did Plornish turn the tangled +skein of his estate about and about, like a blind man who was trying to +find some beginning or end to it; until they reached the prison gate. +There, he left his Principal alone; to wonder, as he rode away, how many +thousand Plornishes there might be within a day or two's journey of the +Circumlocution Office, playing sundry curious variations on the same +tune, which were not known by ear in that glorious institution. + + + +CHAPTER 13. Patriarchal + + +The mention of Mr Casby again revived in Clennam's memory the +smouldering embers of curiosity and interest which Mrs Flintwinch had +fanned on the night of his arrival. Flora Casby had been the beloved of +his boyhood; and Flora was the daughter and only child of wooden-headed +old Christopher (so he was still occasionally spoken of by some +irreverent spirits who had had dealings with him, and in whom +familiarity had bred its proverbial result perhaps), who was reputed to +be rich in weekly tenants, and to get a good quantity of blood out of +the stones of several unpromising courts and alleys. + +After some days of inquiry and research, Arthur Clennam became convinced +that the case of the Father of the Marshalsea was indeed a hopeless one, +and sorrowfully resigned the idea of helping him to freedom again. He +had no hopeful inquiry to make at present, concerning Little Dorrit +either; but he argued with himself that it might--for anything he +knew--it might be serviceable to the poor child, if he renewed this +acquaintance. It is hardly necessary to add that beyond all doubt he +would have presented himself at Mr Casby's door, if there had been no +Little Dorrit in existence; for we all know how we all deceive +ourselves--that is to say, how people in general, our profounder selves +excepted, deceive themselves--as to motives of action. + +With a comfortable impression upon him, and quite an honest one in its +way, that he was still patronising Little Dorrit in doing what had no +reference to her, he found himself one afternoon at the corner of Mr +Casby's street. Mr Casby lived in a street in the Gray's Inn Road, which +had set off from that thoroughfare with the intention of running at one +heat down into the valley, and up again to the top of Pentonville Hill; +but which had run itself out of breath in twenty yards, and had stood +still ever since. There is no such place in that part now; but it +remained there for many years, looking with a baulked countenance at +the wilderness patched with unfruitful gardens and pimpled with eruptive +summerhouses, that it had meant to run over in no time. + +'The house,' thought Clennam, as he crossed to the door, 'is as little +changed as my mother's, and looks almost as gloomy. But the likeness +ends outside. I know its staid repose within. The smell of its jars of +old rose-leaves and lavender seems to come upon me even here.' + +When his knock at the bright brass knocker of obsolete shape brought a +woman-servant to the door, those faded scents in truth saluted him like +wintry breath that had a faint remembrance in it of the bygone spring. +He stepped into the sober, silent, air-tight house--one might have +fancied it to have been stifled by Mutes in the Eastern manner--and the +door, closing again, seemed to shut out sound and motion. The +furniture was formal, grave, and quaker-like, but well-kept; and had as +prepossessing an aspect as anything, from a human creature to a wooden +stool, that is meant for much use and is preserved for little, can ever +wear. There was a grave clock, ticking somewhere up the staircase; and +there was a songless bird in the same direction, pecking at his cage, as +if he were ticking too. The parlour-fire ticked in the grate. There was +only one person on the parlour-hearth, and the loud watch in his pocket +ticked audibly. + +The servant-maid had ticked the two words 'Mr Clennam' so softly that +she had not been heard; and he consequently stood, within the door +she had closed, unnoticed. The figure of a man advanced in life, whose +smooth grey eyebrows seemed to move to the ticking as the fire-light +flickered on them, sat in an arm-chair, with his list shoes on the +rug, and his thumbs slowly revolving over one another. This was old +Christopher Casby--recognisable at a glance--as unchanged in twenty +years and upward as his own solid furniture--as little touched by the +influence of the varying seasons as the old rose-leaves and old lavender +in his porcelain jars. + +Perhaps there never was a man, in this troublesome world, so troublesome +for the imagination to picture as a boy. And yet he had changed very +little in his progress through life. Confronting him, in the room in +which he sat, was a boy's portrait, which anybody seeing him would have +identified as Master Christopher Casby, aged ten: though disguised with +a haymaking rake, for which he had had, at any time, as much taste or +use as for a diving-bell; and sitting (on one of his own legs) upon a +bank of violets, moved to precocious contemplation by the spire of a +village church. There was the same smooth face and forehead, the same +calm blue eye, the same placid air. The shining bald head, which looked +so very large because it shone so much; and the long grey hair at its +sides and back, like floss silk or spun glass, which looked so very +benevolent because it was never cut; were not, of course, to be seen in +the boy as in the old man. Nevertheless, in the Seraphic creature with +the haymaking rake, were clearly to be discerned the rudiments of the +Patriarch with the list shoes. + +Patriarch was the name which many people delighted to give him. +Various old ladies in the neighbourhood spoke of him as The Last of the +Patriarchs. So grey, so slow, so quiet, so impassionate, so very bumpy +in the head, Patriarch was the word for him. He had been accosted in the +streets, and respectfully solicited to become a Patriarch for painters +and for sculptors; with so much importunity, in sooth, that it would +appear to be beyond the Fine Arts to remember the points of a Patriarch, +or to invent one. Philanthropists of both sexes had asked who he was, +and on being informed, 'Old Christopher Casby, formerly Town-agent to +Lord Decimus Tite Barnacle,' had cried in a rapture of disappointment, +'Oh! why, with that head, is he not a benefactor to his species! Oh! +why, with that head, is he not a father to the orphan and a friend to +the friendless!' With that head, however, he remained old Christopher +Casby, proclaimed by common report rich in house property; and with that +head, he now sat in his silent parlour. Indeed it would be the height of +unreason to expect him to be sitting there without that head. + +Arthur Clennam moved to attract his attention, and the grey eyebrows +turned towards him. + +'I beg your pardon,' said Clennam, 'I fear you did not hear me +announced?' + +'No, sir, I did not. Did you wish to see me, sir?' + +'I wished to pay my respects.' + +Mr Casby seemed a feather's weight disappointed by the last words, +having perhaps prepared himself for the visitor's wishing to pay +something else. 'Have I the pleasure, sir,' he proceeded--'take a chair, +if you please--have I the pleasure of knowing--? Ah! truly, yes, I think +I have! I believe I am not mistaken in supposing that I am acquainted +with those features? I think I address a gentleman of whose return to +this country I was informed by Mr Flintwinch?' + +'That is your present visitor.' + +'Really! Mr Clennam?' + +'No other, Mr Casby.' + +'Mr Clennam, I am glad to see you. How have you been since we met?' + +Without thinking it worth while to explain that in the course of some +quarter of a century he had experienced occasional slight fluctuations +in his health and spirits, Clennam answered generally that he had never +been better, or something equally to the purpose; and shook hands with +the possessor of 'that head' as it shed its patriarchal light upon him. + +'We are older, Mr Clennam,' said Christopher Casby. + +'We are--not younger,' said Clennam. After this wise remark he felt that +he was scarcely shining with brilliancy, and became aware that he was +nervous. + +'And your respected father,' said Mr Casby, 'is no more! I was grieved +to hear it, Mr Clennam, I was grieved.' + +Arthur replied in the usual way that he felt infinitely obliged to him. + +'There was a time,' said Mr Casby, 'when your parents and myself were +not on friendly terms. There was a little family misunderstanding among +us. Your respected mother was rather jealous of her son, maybe; when I +say her son, I mean your worthy self, your worthy self.' + +His smooth face had a bloom upon it like ripe wall-fruit. What with +his blooming face, and that head, and his blue eyes, he seemed to be +delivering sentiments of rare wisdom and virtue. In like manner, his +physiognomical expression seemed to teem with benignity. Nobody could +have said where the wisdom was, or where the virtue was, or where the +benignity was; but they all seemed to be somewhere about him. + +'Those times, however,' pursued Mr Casby, 'are past and gone, past and +gone. I do myself the pleasure of making a visit to your respected +mother occasionally, and of admiring the fortitude and strength of mind +with which she bears her trials, bears her trials.' + +When he made one of these little repetitions, sitting with his hands +crossed before him, he did it with his head on one side, and a gentle +smile, as if he had something in his thoughts too sweetly profound to be +put into words. As if he denied himself the pleasure of uttering it, +lest he should soar too high; and his meekness therefore preferred to be +unmeaning. + +'I have heard that you were kind enough on one of those occasions,' said +Arthur, catching at the opportunity as it drifted past him, 'to mention +Little Dorrit to my mother.' + +'Little--? Dorrit? That's the seamstress who was mentioned to me by a +small tenant of mine? Yes, yes. Dorrit? That's the name. Ah, yes, yes! +You call her Little Dorrit?' + +No road in that direction. Nothing came of the cross-cut. It led no +further. + +'My daughter Flora,' said Mr Casby, 'as you may have heard probably, Mr +Clennam, was married and established in life, several years ago. She +had the misfortune to lose her husband when she had been married a few +months. She resides with me again. She will be glad to see you, if you +will permit me to let her know that you are here.' + +'By all means,' returned Clennam. 'I should have preferred the request, +if your kindness had not anticipated me.' + +Upon this Mr Casby rose up in his list shoes, and with a slow, heavy +step (he was of an elephantine build), made for the door. He had a long +wide-skirted bottle-green coat on, and a bottle-green pair of trousers, +and a bottle-green waistcoat. The Patriarchs were not dressed in +bottle-green broadcloth, and yet his clothes looked patriarchal. + +He had scarcely left the room, and allowed the ticking to become audible +again, when a quick hand turned a latchkey in the house-door, opened it, +and shut it. Immediately afterwards, a quick and eager short dark man +came into the room with so much way upon him that he was within a foot +of Clennam before he could stop. + +'Halloa!' he said. + +Clennam saw no reason why he should not say 'Halloa!' too. + +'What's the matter?' said the short dark man. + +'I have not heard that anything is the matter,' returned Clennam. + +'Where's Mr Casby?' asked the short dark man, looking about. + +'He will be here directly, if you want him.' + +'_I_ want him?' said the short dark man. 'Don't you?' + +This elicited a word or two of explanation from Clennam, during the +delivery of which the short dark man held his breath and looked at him. +He was dressed in black and rusty iron grey; had jet black beads of +eyes; a scrubby little black chin; wiry black hair striking out from his +head in prongs, like forks or hair-pins; and a complexion that was very +dingy by nature, or very dirty by art, or a compound of nature and art. +He had dirty hands and dirty broken nails, and looked as if he had been +in the coals; he was in a perspiration, and snorted and sniffed and +puffed and blew, like a little labouring steam-engine. + +'Oh!' said he, when Arthur told him how he came to be there. 'Very well. +That's right. If he should ask for Pancks, will you be so good as to say +that Pancks is come in?' And so, with a snort and a puff, he worked out +by another door. + +Now, in the old days at home, certain audacious doubts respecting the +last of the Patriarchs, which were afloat in the air, had, by some +forgotten means, come in contact with Arthur's sensorium. He was aware +of motes and specks of suspicion in the atmosphere of that time; seen +through which medium, Christopher Casby was a mere Inn signpost, without +any Inn--an invitation to rest and be thankful, when there was no place +to put up at, and nothing whatever to be thankful for. He knew that some +of these specks even represented Christopher as capable of harbouring +designs in 'that head,' and as being a crafty impostor. Other motes +there were which showed him as a heavy, selfish, drifting Booby, who, +having stumbled, in the course of his unwieldy jostlings against other +men, on the discovery that to get through life with ease and credit, +he had but to hold his tongue, keep the bald part of his head well +polished, and leave his hair alone, had had just cunning enough to seize +the idea and stick to it. It was said that his being town-agent to +Lord Decimus Tite Barnacle was referable, not to his having the least +business capacity, but to his looking so supremely benignant that nobody +could suppose the property screwed or jobbed under such a man; also, +that for similar reasons he now got more money out of his own wretched +lettings, unquestioned, than anybody with a less nobby and less shining +crown could possibly have done. In a word, it was represented (Clennam +called to mind, alone in the ticking parlour) that many people select +their models, much as the painters, just now mentioned, select theirs; +and that, whereas in the Royal Academy some evil old ruffian of a +Dog-stealer will annually be found embodying all the cardinal virtues, +on account of his eyelashes, or his chin, or his legs (thereby planting +thorns of confusion in the breasts of the more observant students of +nature), so, in the great social Exhibition, accessories are often +accepted in lieu of the internal character. + +Calling these things to mind, and ranging Mr Pancks in a row with them, +Arthur Clennam leaned this day to the opinion, without quite deciding +on it, that the last of the Patriarchs was the drifting Booby aforesaid, +with the one idea of keeping the bald part of his head highly polished: +and that, much as an unwieldy ship in the Thames river may sometimes be +seen heavily driving with the tide, broadside on, stern first, in its +own way and in the way of everything else, though making a great show +of navigation, when all of a sudden, a little coaly steam-tug will bear +down upon it, take it in tow, and bustle off with it; similarly the +cumbrous Patriarch had been taken in tow by the snorting Pancks, and was +now following in the wake of that dingy little craft. + +The return of Mr Casby with his daughter Flora, put an end to these +meditations. Clennam's eyes no sooner fell upon the subject of his old +passion than it shivered and broke to pieces. + +Most men will be found sufficiently true to themselves to be true to +an old idea. It is no proof of an inconstant mind, but exactly the +opposite, when the idea will not bear close comparison with the reality, +and the contrast is a fatal shock to it. Such was Clennam's case. In his +youth he had ardently loved this woman, and had heaped upon her all the +locked-up wealth of his affection and imagination. That wealth had been, +in his desert home, like Robinson Crusoe's money; exchangeable with no +one, lying idle in the dark to rust, until he poured it out for her. +Ever since that memorable time, though he had, until the night of his +arrival, as completely dismissed her from any association with his +Present or Future as if she had been dead (which she might easily +have been for anything he knew), he had kept the old fancy of the Past +unchanged, in its old sacred place. And now, after all, the last of the +Patriarchs coolly walked into the parlour, saying in effect, 'Be good +enough to throw it down and dance upon it. This is Flora.' + +Flora, always tall, had grown to be very broad too, and short of breath; +but that was not much. Flora, whom he had left a lily, had become a +peony; but that was not much. Flora, who had seemed enchanting in all +she said and thought, was diffuse and silly. That was much. Flora, who +had been spoiled and artless long ago, was determined to be spoiled and +artless now. That was a fatal blow. + +This is Flora! + +'I am sure,' giggled Flora, tossing her head with a caricature of +her girlish manner, such as a mummer might have presented at her own +funeral, if she had lived and died in classical antiquity, 'I am ashamed +to see Mr Clennam, I am a mere fright, I know he'll find me fearfully +changed, I am actually an old woman, it's shocking to be found out, it's +really shocking!' + +He assured her that she was just what he had expected and that time had +not stood still with himself. + +'Oh! But with a gentleman it's so different and really you look so +amazingly well that you have no right to say anything of the kind, +while, as to me, you know--oh!' cried Flora with a little scream, 'I am +dreadful!' + +The Patriarch, apparently not yet understanding his own part in the +drama under representation, glowed with vacant serenity. + +'But if we talk of not having changed,' said Flora, who, whatever +she said, never once came to a full stop, 'look at Papa, is not Papa +precisely what he was when you went away, isn't it cruel and unnatural +of Papa to be such a reproach to his own child, if we go on in this way +much longer people who don't know us will begin to suppose that I am +Papa's Mama!' + +That must be a long time hence, Arthur considered. + +'Oh Mr Clennam you insincerest of creatures,' said Flora, 'I perceive +already you have not lost your old way of paying compliments, your old +way when you used to pretend to be so sentimentally struck you know--at +least I don't mean that, I--oh I don't know what I mean!' Here Flora +tittered confusedly, and gave him one of her old glances. + +The Patriarch, as if he now began to perceive that his part in the piece +was to get off the stage as soon as might be, rose, and went to the door +by which Pancks had worked out, hailing that Tug by name. He received +an answer from some little Dock beyond, and was towed out of sight +directly. + +'You mustn't think of going yet,' said Flora--Arthur had looked at his +hat, being in a ludicrous dismay, and not knowing what to do: 'you could +never be so unkind as to think of going, Arthur--I mean Mr Arthur--or I +suppose Mr Clennam would be far more proper--but I am sure I don't know +what I am saying--without a word about the dear old days gone for ever, +when I come to think of it I dare say it would be much better not to +speak of them and it's highly probable that you have some much more +agreeable engagement and pray let Me be the last person in the world +to interfere with it though there _was_ a time, but I am running into +nonsense again.' + +Was it possible that Flora could have been such a chatterer in the +days she referred to? Could there have been anything like her present +disjointed volubility in the fascinations that had captivated him? + +'Indeed I have little doubt,' said Flora, running on with astonishing +speed, and pointing her conversation with nothing but commas, and very +few of them, 'that you are married to some Chinese lady, being in China +so long and being in business and naturally desirous to settle and +extend your connection nothing was more likely than that you should +propose to a Chinese lady and nothing was more natural I am sure than +that the Chinese lady should accept you and think herself very well off +too, I only hope she's not a Pagodian dissenter.' + +'I am not,' returned Arthur, smiling in spite of himself, 'married to +any lady, Flora.' + +'Oh good gracious me I hope you never kept yourself a bachelor so long +on my account!' tittered Flora; 'but of course you never did why should +you, pray don't answer, I don't know where I'm running to, oh do tell me +something about the Chinese ladies whether their eyes are really so long +and narrow always putting me in mind of mother-of-pearl fish at cards +and do they really wear tails down their back and plaited too or is +it only the men, and when they pull their hair so very tight off their +foreheads don't they hurt themselves, and why do they stick little bells +all over their bridges and temples and hats and things or don't they +really do it?' Flora gave him another of her old glances. Instantly she +went on again, as if he had spoken in reply for some time. + +'Then it's all true and they really do! good gracious Arthur!--pray +excuse me--old habit--Mr Clennam far more proper--what a country to live +in for so long a time, and with so many lanterns and umbrellas too how +very dark and wet the climate ought to be and no doubt actually is, and +the sums of money that must be made by those two trades where everybody +carries them and hangs them everywhere, the little shoes too and the +feet screwed back in infancy is quite surprising, what a traveller you +are!' + +In his ridiculous distress, Clennam received another of the old glances +without in the least knowing what to do with it. + +'Dear dear,' said Flora, 'only to think of the changes at home +Arthur--cannot overcome it, and seems so natural, Mr Clennam far more +proper--since you became familiar with the Chinese customs and language +which I am persuaded you speak like a Native if not better for you were +always quick and clever though immensely difficult no doubt, I am sure +the tea chests alone would kill me if I tried, such changes Arthur--I +am doing it again, seems so natural, most improper--as no one could have +believed, who could have ever imagined Mrs Finching when I can't imagine +it myself!' + +'Is that your married name?' asked Arthur, struck, in the midst of all +this, by a certain warmth of heart that expressed itself in her tone +when she referred, however oddly, to the youthful relation in which they +had stood to one another. 'Finching?' + +'Finching oh yes isn't it a dreadful name, but as Mr F. said when he +proposed to me which he did seven times and handsomely consented I must +say to be what he used to call on liking twelve months, after all, he +wasn't answerable for it and couldn't help it could he, Excellent man, +not at all like you but excellent man!' + +Flora had at last talked herself out of breath for one moment. One +moment; for she recovered breath in the act of raising a minute corner +of her pocket-handkerchief to her eye, as a tribute to the ghost of the +departed Mr F., and began again. + +'No one could dispute, Arthur--Mr Clennam--that it's quite right you +should be formally friendly to me under the altered circumstances and +indeed you couldn't be anything else, at least I suppose not you ought +to know, but I can't help recalling that there _was_ a time when things +were very different.' + +'My dear Mrs Finching,' Arthur began, struck by the good tone again. + +'Oh not that nasty ugly name, say Flora!' + +'Flora. I assure you, Flora, I am happy in seeing you once more, and in +finding that, like me, you have not forgotten the old foolish dreams, +when we saw all before us in the light of our youth and hope.' + +'You don't seem so,' pouted Flora, 'you take it very coolly, but +however I know you are disappointed in me, I suppose the Chinese +ladies--Mandarinesses if you call them so--are the cause or perhaps I am +the cause myself, it's just as likely.' + +'No, no,' Clennam entreated, 'don't say that.' + +'Oh I must you know,' said Flora, in a positive tone, 'what nonsense not +to, I know I am not what you expected, I know that very well.' + +In the midst of her rapidity, she had found that out with the quick +perception of a cleverer woman. The inconsistent and profoundly +unreasonable way in which she instantly went on, nevertheless, to +interweave their long-abandoned boy and girl relations with their +present interview, made Clennam feel as if he were light-headed. + +'One remark,' said Flora, giving their conversation, without the +slightest notice and to the great terror of Clennam, the tone of a +love-quarrel, 'I wish to make, one explanation I wish to offer, when +your Mama came and made a scene of it with my Papa and when I was called +down into the little breakfast-room where they were looking at one +another with your Mama's parasol between them seated on two chairs like +mad bulls what was I to do?' + +'My dear Mrs Finching,' urged Clennam--'all so long ago and so long +concluded, is it worth while seriously to--' + +'I can't Arthur,' returned Flora, 'be denounced as heartless by the +whole society of China without setting myself right when I have the +opportunity of doing so, and you must be very well aware that there +was Paul and Virginia which had to be returned and which was returned +without note or comment, not that I mean to say you could have written +to me watched as I was but if it had only come back with a red wafer on +the cover I should have known that it meant Come to Pekin Nankeen and +What's the third place, barefoot.' + +'My dear Mrs Finching, you were not to blame, and I never blamed you. +We were both too young, too dependent and helpless, to do anything but +accept our separation.--Pray think how long ago,' gently remonstrated +Arthur. + +'One more remark,' proceeded Flora with unslackened volubility, 'I wish +to make, one more explanation I wish to offer, for five days I had a +cold in the head from crying which I passed entirely in the back +drawing-room--there is the back drawing-room still on the first floor +and still at the back of the house to confirm my words--when that dreary +period had passed a lull succeeded years rolled on and Mr F. became +acquainted with us at a mutual friend's, he was all attention he called +next day he soon began to call three evenings a week and to send +in little things for supper it was not love on Mr F.'s part it was +adoration, Mr F. proposed with the full approval of Papa and what could +I do?' + +'Nothing whatever,' said Arthur, with the cheerfulest readiness, 'but +what you did. Let an old friend assure you of his full conviction that +you did quite right.' + +'One last remark,' proceeded Flora, rejecting commonplace life with a +wave of her hand, 'I wish to make, one last explanation I wish to offer, +there _was_ a time ere Mr F. first paid attentions incapable of being +mistaken, but that is past and was not to be, dear Mr Clennam you no +longer wear a golden chain you are free I trust you may be happy, here +is Papa who is always tiresome and putting in his nose everywhere where +he is not wanted.' + +With these words, and with a hasty gesture fraught with timid +caution--such a gesture had Clennam's eyes been familiar with in the old +time--poor Flora left herself at eighteen years of age, a long long way +behind again; and came to a full stop at last. + +Or rather, she left about half of herself at eighteen years of age +behind, and grafted the rest on to the relict of the late Mr F.; thus +making a moral mermaid of herself, which her once boy-lover contemplated +with feelings wherein his sense of the sorrowful and his sense of the +comical were curiously blended. + +For example. As if there were a secret understanding between herself +and Clennam of the most thrilling nature; as if the first of a train of +post-chaises and four, extending all the way to Scotland, were at that +moment round the corner; and as if she couldn't (and wouldn't) have +walked into the Parish Church with him, under the shade of the family +umbrella, with the Patriarchal blessing on her head, and the perfect +concurrence of all mankind; Flora comforted her soul with agonies of +mysterious signalling, expressing dread of discovery. With the sensation +of becoming more and more light-headed every minute, Clennam saw the +relict of the late Mr F. enjoying herself in the most wonderful manner, +by putting herself and him in their old places, and going through all +the old performances--now, when the stage was dusty, when the scenery +was faded, when the youthful actors were dead, when the orchestra was +empty, when the lights were out. And still, through all this grotesque +revival of what he remembered as having once been prettily natural to +her, he could not but feel that it revived at sight of him, and that +there was a tender memory in it. + +The Patriarch insisted on his staying to dinner, and Flora signalled +'Yes!' Clennam so wished he could have done more than stay to dinner--so +heartily wished he could have found the Flora that had been, or that +never had been--that he thought the least atonement he could make for +the disappointment he almost felt ashamed of, was to give himself up to +the family desire. Therefore, he stayed to dinner. + +Pancks dined with them. Pancks steamed out of his little dock at a +quarter before six, and bore straight down for the Patriarch, who +happened to be then driving, in an inane manner, through a stagnant +account of Bleeding Heart Yard. Pancks instantly made fast to him and +hauled him out. + +'Bleeding Heart Yard?' said Pancks, with a puff and a snort. 'It's a +troublesome property. Don't pay you badly, but rents are very hard to +get there. You have more trouble with that one place than with all the +places belonging to you.' + +Just as the big ship in tow gets the credit, with most spectators, of +being the powerful object, so the Patriarch usually seemed to have said +himself whatever Pancks said for him. + +'Indeed?' returned Clennam, upon whom this impression was so efficiently +made by a mere gleam of the polished head that he spoke the ship instead +of the Tug. 'The people are so poor there?' + +'_You_ can't say, you know,' snorted Pancks, taking one of his dirty hands +out of his rusty iron-grey pockets to bite his nails, if he could find +any, and turning his beads of eyes upon his employer, 'whether they're +poor or not. They say they are, but they all say that. When a man says +he's rich, you're generally sure he isn't. Besides, if they _are_ poor, +you can't help it. You'd be poor yourself if you didn't get your rents.' + +'True enough,' said Arthur. + +'You're not going to keep open house for all the poor of London,' +pursued Pancks. 'You're not going to lodge 'em for nothing. You're not +going to open your gates wide and let 'em come free. Not if you know it, +you ain't.' + +Mr Casby shook his head, in Placid and benignant generality. + +'If a man takes a room of you at half-a-crown a week, and when the week +comes round hasn't got the half-crown, you say to that man, Why have you +got the room, then? If you haven't got the one thing, why have you got +the other? What have you been and done with your money? What do you mean +by it? What are you up to? That's what _you_ say to a man of that sort; +and if you didn't say it, more shame for you!' Mr Pancks here made a +singular and startling noise, produced by a strong blowing effort in the +region of the nose, unattended by any result but that acoustic one. + +'You have some extent of such property about the east and north-east +here, I believe?' said Clennam, doubtful which of the two to address. + +'Oh, pretty well,' said Pancks. 'You're not particular to east or +north-east, any point of the compass will do for you. What you want is +a good investment and a quick return. You take it where you can find it. +You ain't nice as to situation--not you.' + +There was a fourth and most original figure in the Patriarchal tent, who +also appeared before dinner. This was an amazing little old woman, with +a face like a staring wooden doll too cheap for expression, and a stiff +yellow wig perched unevenly on the top of her head, as if the child who +owned the doll had driven a tack through it anywhere, so that it only +got fastened on. Another remarkable thing in this little old woman was, +that the same child seemed to have damaged her face in two or three +places with some blunt instrument in the nature of a spoon; her +countenance, and particularly the tip of her nose, presenting the +phenomena of several dints, generally answering to the bowl of that +article. A further remarkable thing in this little old woman was, that +she had no name but Mr F.'s Aunt. + +She broke upon the visitor's view under the following circumstances: +Flora said when the first dish was being put on the table, perhaps Mr +Clennam might not have heard that Mr F. had left her a legacy? Clennam +in return implied his hope that Mr F. had endowed the wife whom he +adored, with the greater part of his worldly substance, if not with all. +Flora said, oh yes, she didn't mean that, Mr F. had made a beautiful +will, but he had left her as a separate legacy, his Aunt. She then +went out of the room to fetch the legacy, and, on her return, rather +triumphantly presented 'Mr F.'s Aunt.' + +The major characteristics discoverable by the stranger in Mr F.'s Aunt, +were extreme severity and grim taciturnity; sometimes interrupted by +a propensity to offer remarks in a deep warning voice, which, being +totally uncalled for by anything said by anybody, and traceable to no +association of ideas, confounded and terrified the Mind. Mr F.'s Aunt +may have thrown in these observations on some system of her own, and it +may have been ingenious, or even subtle: but the key to it was wanted. + +The neatly-served and well-cooked dinner (for everything about the +Patriarchal household promoted quiet digestion) began with some soup, +some fried soles, a butter-boat of shrimp sauce, and a dish of potatoes. +The conversation still turned on the receipt of rents. Mr F.'s Aunt, +after regarding the company for ten minutes with a malevolent gaze, +delivered the following fearful remark: + +'When we lived at Henley, Barnes's gander was stole by tinkers.' + +Mr Pancks courageously nodded his head and said, 'All right, ma'am.' But +the effect of this mysterious communication upon Clennam was absolutely +to frighten him. And another circumstance invested this old lady with +peculiar terrors. Though she was always staring, she never acknowledged +that she saw any individual. The polite and attentive stranger would +desire, say, to consult her inclinations on the subject of potatoes. His +expressive action would be hopelessly lost upon her, and what could he +do? No man could say, 'Mr F.'s Aunt, will you permit me?' Every man +retired from the spoon, as Clennam did, cowed and baffled. + +There was mutton, a steak, and an apple-pie--nothing in the remotest +way connected with ganders--and the dinner went on like a disenchanted +feast, as it truly was. Once upon a time Clennam had sat at that table +taking no heed of anything but Flora; now the principal heed he took +of Flora was to observe, against his will, that she was very fond of +porter, that she combined a great deal of sherry with sentiment, and +that if she were a little overgrown, it was upon substantial grounds. +The last of the Patriarchs had always been a mighty eater, and he +disposed of an immense quantity of solid food with the benignity of a +good soul who was feeding some one else. Mr Pancks, who was always in a +hurry, and who referred at intervals to a little dirty notebook which he +kept beside him (perhaps containing the names of the defaulters he meant +to look up by way of dessert), took in his victuals much as if he were +coaling; with a good deal of noise, a good deal of dropping about, and a +puff and a snort occasionally, as if he were nearly ready to steam away. + +All through dinner, Flora combined her present appetite for eating and +drinking with her past appetite for romantic love, in a way that made +Clennam afraid to lift his eyes from his plate; since he could not +look towards her without receiving some glance of mysterious meaning or +warning, as if they were engaged in a plot. Mr F.'s Aunt sat silently +defying him with an aspect of the greatest bitterness, until the removal +of the cloth and the appearance of the decanters, when she originated +another observation--struck into the conversation like a clock, without +consulting anybody. + +Flora had just said, 'Mr Clennam, will you give me a glass of port for +Mr F.'s Aunt?' + +'The Monument near London Bridge,' that lady instantly proclaimed, 'was +put up arter the Great Fire of London; and the Great Fire of London was +not the fire in which your uncle George's workshops was burned down.' + +Mr Pancks, with his former courage, said, 'Indeed, ma'am? All right!' +But appearing to be incensed by imaginary contradiction, or other +ill-usage, Mr F.'s Aunt, instead of relapsing into silence, made the +following additional proclamation: + +'I hate a fool!' + +She imparted to this sentiment, in itself almost Solomonic, so extremely +injurious and personal a character by levelling it straight at the +visitor's head, that it became necessary to lead Mr F.'s Aunt from +the room. This was quietly done by Flora; Mr F.'s Aunt offering no +resistance, but inquiring on her way out, 'What he come there for, +then?' with implacable animosity. + +When Flora returned, she explained that her legacy was a clever +old lady, but was sometimes a little singular, and 'took +dislikes'--peculiarities of which Flora seemed to be proud rather than +otherwise. As Flora's good nature shone in the case, Clennam had no +fault to find with the old lady for eliciting it, now that he was +relieved from the terrors of her presence; and they took a glass or +two of wine in peace. Foreseeing then that the Pancks would shortly get +under weigh, and that the Patriarch would go to sleep, he pleaded the +necessity of visiting his mother, and asked Mr Pancks in which direction +he was going? + +'Citywards, sir,' said Pancks. + +'Shall we walk together?' said Arthur. + +'Quite agreeable,' said Pancks. + +Meanwhile Flora was murmuring in rapid snatches for his ear, that there +was a time and that the past was a yawning gulf however and that a +golden chain no longer bound him and that she revered the memory of the +late Mr F. and that she should be at home to-morrow at half-past one +and that the decrees of Fate were beyond recall and that she considered +nothing so improbable as that he ever walked on the north-west side of +Gray's-Inn Gardens at exactly four o'clock in the afternoon. He tried +at parting to give his hand in frankness to the existing Flora--not the +vanished Flora, or the mermaid--but Flora wouldn't have it, couldn't +have it, was wholly destitute of the power of separating herself and him +from their bygone characters. He left the house miserably enough; and +so much more light-headed than ever, that if it had not been his good +fortune to be towed away, he might, for the first quarter of an hour, +have drifted anywhere. + +When he began to come to himself, in the cooler air and the absence of +Flora, he found Pancks at full speed, cropping such scanty pasturage of +nails as he could find, and snorting at intervals. These, in conjunction +with one hand in his pocket and his roughened hat hind side before, were +evidently the conditions under which he reflected. + +'A fresh night!' said Arthur. + +'Yes, it's pretty fresh,' assented Pancks. 'As a stranger you feel the +climate more than I do, I dare say. Indeed I haven't got time to feel +it.' + +'You lead such a busy life?' + +'Yes, I have always some of 'em to look up, or something to look after. +But I like business,' said Pancks, getting on a little faster. 'What's a +man made for?' + +'For nothing else?' said Clennam. + +Pancks put the counter question, 'What else?' It packed up, in the +smallest compass, a weight that had rested on Clennam's life; and he +made no answer. + +'That's what I ask our weekly tenants,' said Pancks. 'Some of 'em will +pull long faces to me, and say, Poor as you see us, master, we're always +grinding, drudging, toiling, every minute we're awake. I say to them, +What else are you made for? It shuts them up. They haven't a word to +answer. What else are you made for? That clinches it.' + +'Ah dear, dear, dear!' sighed Clennam. + +'Here am I,' said Pancks, pursuing his argument with the weekly tenant. +'What else do you suppose I think I am made for? Nothing. Rattle me out +of bed early, set me going, give me as short a time as you like to bolt +my meals in, and keep me at it. Keep me always at it, and I'll keep you +always at it, you keep somebody else always at it. There you are with +the Whole Duty of Man in a commercial country.' + +When they had walked a little further in silence, Clennam said: 'Have +you no taste for anything, Mr Pancks?' + +'What's taste?' drily retorted Pancks. + +'Let us say inclination.' + +'I have an inclination to get money, sir,' said Pancks, 'if you will +show me how.' He blew off that sound again, and it occurred to his +companion for the first time that it was his way of laughing. He was a +singular man in all respects; he might not have been quite in earnest, +but that the short, hard, rapid manner in which he shot out these +cinders of principles, as if it were done by mechanical revolvency, +seemed irreconcilable with banter. + +'You are no great reader, I suppose?' said Clennam. + +'Never read anything but letters and accounts. Never collect anything +but advertisements relative to next of kin. If _that's_ a taste, I have +got that. You're not of the Clennams of Cornwall, Mr Clennam?' + +'Not that I ever heard of.' + +'I know you're not. I asked your mother, sir. She has too much character +to let a chance escape her.' + +'Supposing I had been of the Clennams of Cornwall?' + +'You'd have heard of something to your advantage.' + +'Indeed! I have heard of little enough to my advantage for some time.' + +'There's a Cornish property going a begging, sir, and not a Cornish +Clennam to have it for the asking,' said Pancks, taking his note-book +from his breast pocket and putting it in again. 'I turn off here. I wish +you good night.' + +'Good night!' said Clennam. But the Tug, suddenly lightened, and +untrammelled by having any weight in tow, was already puffing away into +the distance. + +They had crossed Smithfield together, and Clennam was left alone at the +corner of Barbican. He had no intention of presenting himself in his +mother's dismal room that night, and could not have felt more depressed +and cast away if he had been in a wilderness. He turned slowly down +Aldersgate Street, and was pondering his way along towards Saint Paul's, +purposing to come into one of the great thoroughfares for the sake of +their light and life, when a crowd of people flocked towards him on the +same pavement, and he stood aside against a shop to let them pass. As +they came up, he made out that they were gathered around a something +that was carried on men's shoulders. He soon saw that it was a litter, +hastily made of a shutter or some such thing; and a recumbent figure +upon it, and the scraps of conversation in the crowd, and a muddy bundle +carried by one man, and a muddy hat carried by another, informed him +that an accident had occurred. The litter stopped under a lamp before it +had passed him half-a-dozen paces, for some readjustment of the burden; +and, the crowd stopping too, he found himself in the midst of the array. + +'An accident going to the Hospital?' he asked an old man beside him, who +stood shaking his head, inviting conversation. + +'Yes,' said the man, 'along of them Mails. They ought to be prosecuted +and fined, them Mails. They come a racing out of Lad Lane and Wood +Street at twelve or fourteen mile a hour, them Mails do. The only wonder +is, that people ain't killed oftener by them Mails.' + +'This person is not killed, I hope?' + +'I don't know!' said the man, 'it an't for the want of a will in them +Mails, if he an't.' The speaker having folded his arms, and set in +comfortably to address his depreciation of them Mails to any of the +bystanders who would listen, several voices, out of pure sympathy with +the sufferer, confirmed him; one voice saying to Clennam, 'They're a +public nuisance, them Mails, sir;' another, '_I_ see one on 'em pull up +within half a inch of a boy, last night;' another, '_I_ see one on 'em +go over a cat, sir--and it might have been your own mother;' and all +representing, by implication, that if he happened to possess any public +influence, he could not use it better than against them Mails. + +'Why, a native Englishman is put to it every night of his life, to save +his life from them Mails,' argued the first old man; 'and _he_ knows when +they're a coming round the corner, to tear him limb from limb. What can +you expect from a poor foreigner who don't know nothing about 'em!' + +'Is this a foreigner?' said Clennam, leaning forward to look. + +In the midst of such replies as 'Frenchman, sir,' 'Porteghee, sir,' +'Dutchman, sir,' 'Prooshan, sir,' and other conflicting testimony, he +now heard a feeble voice asking, both in Italian and in French, for +water. A general remark going round, in reply, of 'Ah, poor fellow, +he says he'll never get over it; and no wonder!' Clennam begged to be +allowed to pass, as he understood the poor creature. He was immediately +handed to the front, to speak to him. + +'First, he wants some water,' said he, looking round. (A dozen good +fellows dispersed to get it.) 'Are you badly hurt, my friend?' he asked +the man on the litter, in Italian. + +'Yes, sir; yes, yes, yes. It's my leg, it's my leg. But it pleases me to +hear the old music, though I am very bad.' + +'You are a traveller! Stay! See, the water! Let me give you some.' + +They had rested the litter on a pile of paving stones. It was at a +convenient height from the ground, and by stooping he could lightly +raise the head with one hand and hold the glass to his lips with the +other. A little, muscular, brown man, with black hair and white teeth. A +lively face, apparently. Earrings in his ears. + +'That's well. You are a traveller?' + +'Surely, sir.' + +'A stranger in this city?' + +'Surely, surely, altogether. I am arrived this unhappy evening.' + +'From what country?' + +'Marseilles.' + +'Why, see there! I also! Almost as much a stranger here as you, though +born here, I came from Marseilles a little while ago. Don't be cast +down.' The face looked up at him imploringly, as he rose from wiping it, +and gently replaced the coat that covered the writhing figure. 'I won't +leave you till you shall be well taken care of. Courage! You will be +very much better half an hour hence.' + +'Ah! Altro, Altro!' cried the poor little man, in a faintly incredulous +tone; and as they took him up, hung out his right hand to give the +forefinger a back-handed shake in the air. + +Arthur Clennam turned; and walking beside the litter, and saying an +encouraging word now and then, accompanied it to the neighbouring +hospital of Saint Bartholomew. None of the crowd but the bearers and +he being admitted, the disabled man was soon laid on a table in a cool, +methodical way, and carefully examined by a surgeon who was as near at +hand, and as ready to appear as Calamity herself. 'He hardly knows an +English word,' said Clennam; 'is he badly hurt?' + +'Let us know all about it first,' said the surgeon, continuing his +examination with a businesslike delight in it, 'before we pronounce.' + +After trying the leg with a finger, and two fingers, and one hand and +two hands, and over and under, and up and down, and in this direction +and in that, and approvingly remarking on the points of interest to +another gentleman who joined him, the surgeon at last clapped the +patient on the shoulder, and said, 'He won't hurt. He'll do very well. +It's difficult enough, but we shall not want him to part with his leg +this time.' Which Clennam interpreted to the patient, who was full of +gratitude, and, in his demonstrative way, kissed both the interpreter's +hand and the surgeon's several times. + +'It's a serious injury, I suppose?' said Clennam. + +'Ye-es,' replied the surgeon, with the thoughtful pleasure of an artist +contemplating the work upon his easel. 'Yes, it's enough. There's a +compound fracture above the knee, and a dislocation below. They are +both of a beautiful kind.' He gave the patient a friendly clap on the +shoulder again, as if he really felt that he was a very good fellow +indeed, and worthy of all commendation for having broken his leg in a +manner interesting to science. + +'He speaks French?' said the surgeon. + +'Oh yes, he speaks French.' + +'He'll be at no loss here, then.--You have only to bear a little pain +like a brave fellow, my friend, and to be thankful that all goes as +well as it does,' he added, in that tongue, 'and you'll walk again to +a marvel. Now, let us see whether there's anything else the matter, and +how our ribs are?' + +There was nothing else the matter, and our ribs were sound. Clennam +remained until everything possible to be done had been skilfully and +promptly done--the poor belated wanderer in a strange land movingly +besought that favour of him--and lingered by the bed to which he was in +due time removed, until he had fallen into a doze. Even then he wrote a +few words for him on his card, with a promise to return to-morrow, and +left it to be given to him when he should awake. + +All these proceedings occupied so long that it struck eleven o'clock at +night as he came out at the Hospital Gate. He had hired a lodging for +the present in Covent Garden, and he took the nearest way to that +quarter, by Snow Hill and Holborn. + +Left to himself again, after the solicitude and compassion of his last +adventure, he was naturally in a thoughtful mood. As naturally, he +could not walk on thinking for ten minutes without recalling Flora. +She necessarily recalled to him his life, with all its misdirection and +little happiness. + +When he got to his lodging, he sat down before the dying fire, as he +had stood at the window of his old room looking out upon the blackened +forest of chimneys, and turned his gaze back upon the gloomy vista by +which he had come to that stage in his existence. So long, so bare, +so blank. No childhood; no youth, except for one remembrance; that one +remembrance proved, only that day, to be a piece of folly. + +It was a misfortune to him, trifle as it might have been to another. +For, while all that was hard and stern in his recollection, remained +Reality on being proved--was obdurate to the sight and touch, and +relaxed nothing of its old indomitable grimness--the one tender +recollection of his experience would not bear the same test, and melted +away. He had foreseen this, on the former night, when he had dreamed +with waking eyes, but he had not felt it then; and he had now. + +He was a dreamer in such wise, because he was a man who had, deep-rooted +in his nature, a belief in all the gentle and good things his life had +been without. Bred in meanness and hard dealing, this had rescued him +to be a man of honourable mind and open hand. Bred in coldness and +severity, this had rescued him to have a warm and sympathetic heart. +Bred in a creed too darkly audacious to pursue, through its process of +reserving the making of man in the image of his Creator to the making of +his Creator in the image of an erring man, this had rescued him to judge +not, and in humility to be merciful, and have hope and charity. + +And this saved him still from the whimpering weakness and cruel +selfishness of holding that because such a happiness or such a virtue +had not come into his little path, or worked well for him, therefore +it was not in the great scheme, but was reducible, when found in +appearance, to the basest elements. A disappointed mind he had, but a +mind too firm and healthy for such unwholesome air. Leaving himself in +the dark, it could rise into the light, seeing it shine on others and +hailing it. + +Therefore, he sat before his dying fire, sorrowful to think upon the way +by which he had come to that night, yet not strewing poison on the way +by which other men had come to it. That he should have missed so much, +and at his time of life should look so far about him for any staff to +bear him company upon his downward journey and cheer it, was a just +regret. He looked at the fire from which the blaze departed, from which +the afterglow subsided, in which the ashes turned grey, from which they +dropped to dust, and thought, 'How soon I too shall pass through such +changes, and be gone!' + +To review his life was like descending a green tree in fruit and flower, +and seeing all the branches wither and drop off, one by one, as he came +down towards them. + +'From the unhappy suppression of my youngest days, through the rigid and +unloving home that followed them, through my departure, my long exile, +my return, my mother's welcome, my intercourse with her since, down to +the afternoon of this day with poor Flora,' said Arthur Clennam, 'what +have I found!' + +His door was softly opened, and these spoken words startled him, and +came as if they were an answer: + +'Little Dorrit.' + + + + +CHAPTER 14. Little Dorrit's Party + + +Arthur Clennam rose hastily, and saw her standing at the door. This +history must sometimes see with Little Dorrit's eyes, and shall begin +that course by seeing him. + +Little Dorrit looked into a dim room, which seemed a spacious one to +her, and grandly furnished. Courtly ideas of Covent Garden, as a place +with famous coffee-houses, where gentlemen wearing gold-laced coats and +swords had quarrelled and fought duels; costly ideas of Covent Garden, +as a place where there were flowers in winter at guineas a-piece, +pine-apples at guineas a pound, and peas at guineas a pint; picturesque +ideas of Covent Garden, as a place where there was a mighty theatre, +showing wonderful and beautiful sights to richly-dressed ladies and +gentlemen, and which was for ever far beyond the reach of poor Fanny or +poor uncle; desolate ideas of Covent Garden, as having all those arches +in it, where the miserable children in rags among whom she had just now +passed, like young rats, slunk and hid, fed on offal, huddled together +for warmth, and were hunted about (look to the rats young and old, all +ye Barnacles, for before God they are eating away our foundations, and +will bring the roofs on our heads!); teeming ideas of Covent Garden, as +a place of past and present mystery, romance, abundance, want, beauty, +ugliness, fair country gardens, and foul street gutters; all confused +together,--made the room dimmer than it was in Little Dorrit's eyes, as +they timidly saw it from the door. + +At first in the chair before the gone-out fire, and then turned round +wondering to see her, was the gentleman whom she sought. The brown, +grave gentleman, who smiled so pleasantly, who was so frank and +considerate in his manner, and yet in whose earnestness there was +something that reminded her of his mother, with the great difference +that she was earnest in asperity and he in gentleness. Now he regarded +her with that attentive and inquiring look before which Little Dorrit's +eyes had always fallen, and before which they fell still. + +'My poor child! Here at midnight?' + +'I said Little Dorrit, sir, on purpose to prepare you. I knew you must +be very much surprised.' + +'Are you alone?' + +'No sir, I have got Maggy with me.' + +Considering her entrance sufficiently prepared for by this mention of +her name, Maggy appeared from the landing outside, on the broad grin. +She instantly suppressed that manifestation, however, and became fixedly +solemn. + +'And I have no fire,' said Clennam. 'And you are--' He was going to say +so lightly clad, but stopped himself in what would have been a reference +to her poverty, saying instead, 'And it is so cold.' + +Putting the chair from which he had risen nearer to the grate, he made +her sit down in it; and hurriedly bringing wood and coal, heaped them +together and got a blaze. + +'Your foot is like marble, my child;' he had happened to touch it, while +stooping on one knee at his work of kindling the fire; 'put it nearer +the warmth.' Little Dorrit thanked him hastily. It was quite warm, it +was very warm! It smote upon his heart to feel that she hid her thin, +worn shoe. + +Little Dorrit was not ashamed of her poor shoes. He knew her story, and +it was not that. Little Dorrit had a misgiving that he might blame her +father, if he saw them; that he might think, 'why did he dine to-day, +and leave this little creature to the mercy of the cold stones!' She had +no belief that it would have been a just reflection; she simply knew, +by experience, that such delusions did sometimes present themselves to +people. It was a part of her father's misfortunes that they did. + +'Before I say anything else,' Little Dorrit began, sitting before +the pale fire, and raising her eyes again to the face which in its +harmonious look of interest, and pity, and protection, she felt to be a +mystery far above her in degree, and almost removed beyond her guessing +at; 'may I tell you something, sir?' + +'Yes, my child.' + +A slight shade of distress fell upon her, at his so often calling her a +child. She was surprised that he should see it, or think of such a +slight thing; but he said directly: + +'I wanted a tender word, and could think of no other. As you just now +gave yourself the name they give you at my mother's, and as that is the +name by which I always think of you, let me call you Little Dorrit.' + +'Thank you, sir, I should like it better than any name.' + +'Little Dorrit.' + +'Little mother,' Maggy (who had been falling asleep) put in, as a +correction. + +'It's all the same, Maggy,' returned Little Dorrit, 'all the same.' + +'Is it all the same, mother?' + +'Just the same.' + +Maggy laughed, and immediately snored. In Little Dorrit's eyes and ears, +the uncouth figure and the uncouth sound were as pleasant as could be. +There was a glow of pride in her big child, overspreading her face, when +it again met the eyes of the grave brown gentleman. She wondered what he +was thinking of, as he looked at Maggy and her. She thought what a +good father he would be. How, with some such look, he would counsel and +cherish his daughter. + +'What I was going to tell you, sir,' said Little Dorrit, 'is, that my +brother is at large.' + +Arthur was rejoiced to hear it, and hoped he would do well. + +'And what I was going to tell you, sir,' said Little Dorrit, trembling +in all her little figure and in her voice, 'is, that I am not to know +whose generosity released him--am never to ask, and am never to be told, +and am never to thank that gentleman with all my grateful heart!' + +He would probably need no thanks, Clennam said. Very likely he would be +thankful himself (and with reason), that he had had the means and chance +of doing a little service to her, who well deserved a great one. + +'And what I was going to say, sir, is,' said Little Dorrit, trembling +more and more, 'that if I knew him, and I might, I would tell him that +he can never, never know how I feel his goodness, and how my good father +would feel it. And what I was going to say, sir, is, that if I knew him, +and I might--but I don't know him and I must not--I know that!--I would +tell him that I shall never any more lie down to sleep without having +prayed to Heaven to bless him and reward him. And if I knew him, and I +might, I would go down on my knees to him, and take his hand and kiss +it and ask him not to draw it away, but to leave it--O to leave it for a +moment--and let my thankful tears fall on it; for I have no other thanks +to give him!' + +Little Dorrit had put his hand to her lips, and would have kneeled to +him, but he gently prevented her, and replaced her in her chair. Her +eyes, and the tones of her voice, had thanked him far better than she +thought. He was not able to say, quite as composedly as usual, 'There, +Little Dorrit, there, there, there! We will suppose that you did know +this person, and that you might do all this, and that it was all done. +And now tell me, Who am quite another person--who am nothing more than +the friend who begged you to trust him--why you are out at midnight, and +what it is that brings you so far through the streets at this late hour, +my slight, delicate,' child was on his lips again, 'Little Dorrit!' + +'Maggy and I have been to-night,' she answered, subduing herself with +the quiet effort that had long been natural to her, 'to the theatre +where my sister is engaged.' + +'And oh ain't it a Ev'nly place,' suddenly interrupted Maggy, who seemed +to have the power of going to sleep and waking up whenever she chose. +'Almost as good as a hospital. Only there ain't no Chicking in it.' + +Here she shook herself, and fell asleep again. + +'We went there,' said Little Dorrit, glancing at her charge, 'because +I like sometimes to know, of my own knowledge, that my sister is doing +well; and like to see her there, with my own eyes, when neither she nor +Uncle is aware. It is very seldom indeed that I can do that, because +when I am not out at work, I am with my father, and even when I am out +at work, I hurry home to him. But I pretend to-night that I am at a +party.' + +As she made the confession, timidly hesitating, she raised her eyes to +the face, and read its expression so plainly that she answered it. + +'Oh no, certainly! I never was at a party in my life.' + +She paused a little under his attentive look, and then said, 'I hope +there is no harm in it. I could never have been of any use, if I had +not pretended a little.' + +She feared that he was blaming her in his mind for so devising to +contrive for them, think for them, and watch over them, without their +knowledge or gratitude; perhaps even with their reproaches for supposed +neglect. But what was really in his mind, was the weak figure with its +strong purpose, the thin worn shoes, the insufficient dress, and the +pretence of recreation and enjoyment. He asked where the suppositious +party was? At a place where she worked, answered Little Dorrit, +blushing. She had said very little about it; only a few words to +make her father easy. Her father did not believe it to be a grand +party--indeed he might suppose that. And she glanced for an instant at +the shawl she wore. + +'It is the first night,' said Little Dorrit, 'that I have ever been away +from home. And London looks so large, so barren, and so wild.' In Little +Dorrit's eyes, its vastness under the black sky was awful; a tremor +passed over her as she said the words. + +'But this is not,' she added, with the quiet effort again, 'what I have +come to trouble you with, sir. My sister's having found a friend, a lady +she has told me of and made me rather anxious about, was the first cause +of my coming away from home. And being away, and coming (on purpose) +round by where you lived and seeing a light in the window--' + +Not for the first time. No, not for the first time. In Little Dorrit's +eyes, the outside of that window had been a distant star on other nights +than this. She had toiled out of her way, tired and troubled, to look up +at it, and wonder about the grave, brown gentleman from so far off, who +had spoken to her as a friend and protector. + +'There were three things,' said Little Dorrit, 'that I thought I would +like to say, if you were alone and I might come up-stairs. First, what I +have tried to say, but never can--never shall--' + +'Hush, hush! That is done with, and disposed of. Let us pass to the +second,' said Clennam, smiling her agitation away, making the blaze +shine upon her, and putting wine and cake and fruit towards her on the +table. + +'I think,' said Little Dorrit--'this is the second thing, sir--I think +Mrs Clennam must have found out my secret, and must know where I come +from and where I go to. Where I live, I mean.' + +'Indeed!' returned Clennam quickly. He asked her, after short +consideration, why she supposed so. + +'I think,' replied Little Dorrit, 'that Mr Flintwinch must have watched +me.' + +And why, Clennam asked, as he turned his eyes upon the fire, bent his +brows, and considered again; why did she suppose that? + +'I have met him twice. Both times near home. Both times at night, when +I was going back. Both times I thought (though that may easily be my +mistake), that he hardly looked as if he had met me by accident.' + +'Did he say anything?' + +'No; he only nodded and put his head on one side.' + +'The devil take his head!' mused Clennam, still looking at the fire; +'it's always on one side.' + +He roused himself to persuade her to put some wine to her lips, and to +touch something to eat--it was very difficult, she was so timid and +shy--and then said, musing again: + +'Is my mother at all changed to you?' + +'Oh, not at all. She is just the same. I wondered whether I had better +tell her my history. I wondered whether I might--I mean, whether you +would like me to tell her. I wondered,' said Little Dorrit, looking at +him in a suppliant way, and gradually withdrawing her eyes as he looked +at her, 'whether you would advise me what I ought to do.' + +'Little Dorrit,' said Clennam; and the phrase had already begun, between +these two, to stand for a hundred gentle phrases, according to the +varying tone and connection in which it was used; 'do nothing. I will +have some talk with my old friend, Mrs Affery. Do nothing, Little +Dorrit--except refresh yourself with such means as there are here. I +entreat you to do that.' + +'Thank you, I am not hungry. Nor,' said Little Dorrit, as he softly +put her glass towards her, 'nor thirsty.--I think Maggy might like +something, perhaps.' + +'We will make her find pockets presently for all there is here,' said +Clennam: 'but before we awake her, there was a third thing to say.' + +'Yes. You will not be offended, sir?' + +'I promise that, unreservedly.' + +'It will sound strange. I hardly know how to say it. Don't think it +unreasonable or ungrateful in me,' said Little Dorrit, with returning +and increasing agitation. + +'No, no, no. I am sure it will be natural and right. I am not afraid +that I shall put a wrong construction on it, whatever it is.' + +'Thank you. You are coming back to see my father again?' + +'Yes.' + +'You have been so good and thoughtful as to write him a note, saying +that you are coming to-morrow?' + +'Oh, that was nothing! Yes.' + +'Can you guess,' said Little Dorrit, folding her small hands tight in +one another, and looking at him with all the earnestness of her soul +looking steadily out of her eyes, 'what I am going to ask you not to +do?' + +'I think I can. But I may be wrong.' + +'No, you are not wrong,' said Little Dorrit, shaking her head. 'If we +should want it so very, very badly that we cannot do without it, let me +ask you for it.' + +'I Will,--I Will.' + +'Don't encourage him to ask. Don't understand him if he does ask. Don't +give it to him. Save him and spare him that, and you will be able to +think better of him!' + +Clennam said--not very plainly, seeing those tears glistening in her +anxious eyes--that her wish should be sacred with him. + +'You don't know what he is,' she said; 'you don't know what he really +is. How can you, seeing him there all at once, dear love, and not +gradually, as I have done! You have been so good to us, so delicately +and truly good, that I want him to be better in your eyes than in +anybody's. And I cannot bear to think,' cried Little Dorrit, covering +her tears with her hands, 'I cannot bear to think that you of all the +world should see him in his only moments of degradation.' + +'Pray,' said Clennam, 'do not be so distressed. Pray, pray, Little +Dorrit! This is quite understood now.' + +'Thank you, sir. Thank you! I have tried very much to keep myself from +saying this; I have thought about it, days and nights; but when I knew +for certain you were coming again, I made up my mind to speak to you. +Not because I am ashamed of him,' she dried her tears quickly, 'but +because I know him better than any one does, and love him, and am proud +of him.' + +Relieved of this weight, Little Dorrit was nervously anxious to be gone. +Maggy being broad awake, and in the act of distantly gloating over the +fruit and cakes with chuckles of anticipation, Clennam made the best +diversion in his power by pouring her out a glass of wine, which she +drank in a series of loud smacks; putting her hand upon her windpipe +after every one, and saying, breathless, with her eyes in a prominent +state, 'Oh, ain't it d'licious! Ain't it hospitally!' When she had +finished the wine and these encomiums, he charged her to load her basket +(she was never without her basket) with every eatable thing upon the +table, and to take especial care to leave no scrap behind. Maggy's +pleasure in doing this and her little mother's pleasure in seeing Maggy +pleased, was as good a turn as circumstances could have given to the +late conversation. + +'But the gates will have been locked long ago,' said Clennam, suddenly +remembering it. 'Where are you going?' + +'I am going to Maggy's lodging,' answered Little Dorrit. 'I shall be +quite safe, quite well taken care of.' + +'I must accompany you there,' said Clennam, 'I cannot let you go alone.' + +'Yes, pray leave us to go there by ourselves. Pray do!' begged Little +Dorrit. + +She was so earnest in the petition, that Clennam felt a delicacy in +obtruding himself upon her: the rather, because he could well understand +that Maggy's lodging was of the obscurest sort. 'Come, Maggy,' said +Little Dorrit cheerily, 'we shall do very well; we know the way by this +time, Maggy?' + +'Yes, yes, little mother; we know the way,' chuckled Maggy. And away +they went. Little Dorrit turned at the door to say, 'God bless you!' She +said it very softly, but perhaps she may have been as audible above--who +knows!--as a whole cathedral choir. + +Arthur Clennam suffered them to pass the corner of the street before he +followed at a distance; not with any idea of encroaching a second time +on Little Dorrit's privacy, but to satisfy his mind by seeing her secure +in the neighbourhood to which she was accustomed. So diminutive she +looked, so fragile and defenceless against the bleak damp weather, +flitting along in the shuffling shadow of her charge, that he felt, in +his compassion, and in his habit of considering her a child apart from +the rest of the rough world, as if he would have been glad to take her +up in his arms and carry her to her journey's end. + +In course of time she came into the leading thoroughfare where the +Marshalsea was, and then he saw them slacken their pace, and soon turn +down a by-street. He stopped, felt that he had no right to go further, +and slowly left them. He had no suspicion that they ran any risk of +being houseless until morning; had no idea of the truth until long, long +afterwards. + +But, said Little Dorrit, when they stopped at a poor dwelling all in +darkness, and heard no sound on listening at the door, 'Now, this is a +good lodging for you, Maggy, and we must not give offence. Consequently, +we will only knock twice, and not very loud; and if we cannot wake them +so, we must walk about till day.' + +Once, Little Dorrit knocked with a careful hand, and listened. Twice, +Little Dorrit knocked with a careful hand, and listened. All was close +and still. 'Maggy, we must do the best we can, my dear. We must be +patient, and wait for day.' + +It was a chill dark night, with a damp wind blowing, when they came out +into the leading street again, and heard the clocks strike half-past +one. 'In only five hours and a half,' said Little Dorrit, 'we shall be +able to go home.' To speak of home, and to go and look at it, it being +so near, was a natural sequence. They went to the closed gate, and +peeped through into the court-yard. 'I hope he is sound asleep,' said +Little Dorrit, kissing one of the bars, 'and does not miss me.' + +The gate was so familiar, and so like a companion, that they put down +Maggy's basket in a corner to serve for a seat, and keeping close +together, rested there for some time. While the street was empty and +silent, Little Dorrit was not afraid; but when she heard a footstep at +a distance, or saw a moving shadow among the street lamps, she was +startled, and whispered, 'Maggy, I see some one. Come away!' Maggy +would then wake up more or less fretfully, and they would wander about a +little, and come back again. + +As long as eating was a novelty and an amusement, Maggy kept up pretty +well. But that period going by, she became querulous about the cold, and +shivered and whimpered. 'It will soon be over, dear,' said Little Dorrit +patiently. 'Oh it's all very fine for you, little mother,' returned +Maggy, 'but I'm a poor thing, only ten years old.' At last, in the dead +of the night, when the street was very still indeed, Little Dorrit laid +the heavy head upon her bosom, and soothed her to sleep. And thus she +sat at the gate, as it were alone; looking up at the stars, and seeing +the clouds pass over them in their wild flight--which was the dance at +Little Dorrit's party. + +'If it really was a party!' she thought once, as she sat there. 'If it +was light and warm and beautiful, and it was our house, and my poor dear +was its master, and had never been inside these walls. And if Mr +Clennam was one of our visitors, and we were dancing to delightful +music, and were all as gay and light-hearted as ever we could be! I +wonder--' Such a vista of wonder opened out before her, that she sat +looking up at the stars, quite lost, until Maggy was querulous again, +and wanted to get up and walk. + +Three o'clock, and half-past three, and they had passed over London +Bridge. They had heard the rush of the tide against obstacles; and +looked down, awed, through the dark vapour on the river; had seen little +spots of lighted water where the bridge lamps were reflected, shining +like demon eyes, with a terrible fascination in them for guilt and +misery. They had shrunk past homeless people, lying coiled up in +nooks. They had run from drunkards. They had started from slinking men, +whistling and signing to one another at bye corners, or running away at +full speed. Though everywhere the leader and the guide, Little Dorrit, +happy for once in her youthful appearance, feigned to cling to and rely +upon Maggy. And more than once some voice, from among a knot of brawling +or prowling figures in their path, had called out to the rest to 'let +the woman and the child go by!' + +So, the woman and the child had gone by, and gone on, and five had +sounded from the steeples. They were walking slowly towards the east, +already looking for the first pale streak of day, when a woman came +after them. + +'What are you doing with the child?' she said to Maggy. + +She was young--far too young to be there, Heaven knows!--and neither +ugly nor wicked-looking. She spoke coarsely, but with no naturally +coarse voice; there was even something musical in its sound. + +'What are you doing with yourself?' retorted Maggy, for want of a better +answer. + +'Can't you see, without my telling you?' + +'I don't know as I can,' said Maggy. + +'Killing myself! Now I have answered you, answer me. What are you doing +with the child?' + +The supposed child kept her head drooped down, and kept her form close +at Maggy's side. + +'Poor thing!' said the woman. 'Have you no feeling, that you keep her +out in the cruel streets at such a time as this? Have you no eyes, that +you don't see how delicate and slender she is? Have you no sense (you +don't look as if you had much) that you don't take more pity on this +cold and trembling little hand?' + +She had stepped across to that side, and held the hand between her own +two, chafing it. 'Kiss a poor lost creature, dear,' she said, bending +her face, 'and tell me where's she taking you.' + +Little Dorrit turned towards her. + +'Why, my God!' she said, recoiling, 'you're a woman!' + +'Don't mind that!' said Little Dorrit, clasping one of her hands that +had suddenly released hers. 'I am not afraid of you.' + +'Then you had better be,' she answered. 'Have you no mother?' + +'No.' + +'No father?' + +'Yes, a very dear one.' + +'Go home to him, and be afraid of me. Let me go. Good night!' + +'I must thank you first; let me speak to you as if I really were a +child.' + +'You can't do it,' said the woman. 'You are kind and innocent; but you +can't look at me out of a child's eyes. I never should have touched you, +but I thought that you were a child.' And with a strange, wild cry, she +went away. + +No day yet in the sky, but there was day in the resounding stones of +the streets; in the waggons, carts, and coaches; in the workers going +to various occupations; in the opening of early shops; in the traffic +at markets; in the stir of the riverside. There was coming day in the +flaring lights, with a feebler colour in them than they would have had +at another time; coming day in the increased sharpness of the air, and +the ghastly dying of the night. + +They went back again to the gate, intending to wait there now until it +should be opened; but the air was so raw and cold that Little Dorrit, +leading Maggy about in her sleep, kept in motion. Going round by the +Church, she saw lights there, and the door open; and went up the steps +and looked in. + +'Who's that?' cried a stout old man, who was putting on a nightcap as if +he were going to bed in a vault. + +'It's no one particular, sir,' said Little Dorrit. + +'Stop!' cried the man. 'Let's have a look at you!' + +This caused her to turn back again in the act of going out, and to +present herself and her charge before him. + +'I thought so!' said he. 'I know _you_.' + +'We have often seen each other,' said Little Dorrit, recognising the +sexton, or the beadle, or the verger, or whatever he was, 'when I have +been at church here.' + +'More than that, we've got your birth in our Register, you know; you're +one of our curiosities.' + +'Indeed!' said Little Dorrit. + +'To be sure. As the child of the--by-the-bye, how did you get out so +early?' + +'We were shut out last night, and are waiting to get in.' + +'You don't mean it? And there's another hour good yet! Come into the +vestry. You'll find a fire in the vestry, on account of the painters. +I'm waiting for the painters, or I shouldn't be here, you may depend +upon it. One of our curiosities mustn't be cold when we have it in our +power to warm her up comfortable. Come along.' + +He was a very good old fellow, in his familiar way; and having stirred +the vestry fire, he looked round the shelves of registers for a +particular volume. 'Here you are, you see,' he said, taking it down and +turning the leaves. 'Here you'll find yourself, as large as life. Amy, +daughter of William and Fanny Dorrit. Born, Marshalsea Prison, Parish of +St George. And we tell people that you have lived there, without so much +as a day's or a night's absence, ever since. Is it true?' + +'Quite true, till last night.' + +'Lord!' But his surveying her with an admiring gaze suggested Something +else to him, to wit: 'I am sorry to see, though, that you are faint and +tired. Stay a bit. I'll get some cushions out of the church, and you and +your friend shall lie down before the fire. Don't be afraid of not +going in to join your father when the gate opens. _I'll_ call you.' + +He soon brought in the cushions, and strewed them on the ground. + +'There you are, you see. Again as large as life. Oh, never mind +thanking. I've daughters of my own. And though they weren't born in the +Marshalsea Prison, they might have been, if I had been, in my ways of +carrying on, of your father's breed. Stop a bit. I must put something +under the cushion for your head. Here's a burial volume, just the +thing! We have got Mrs Bangham in this book. But what makes these books +interesting to most people is--not who's in 'em, but who isn't--who's +coming, you know, and when. That's the interesting question.' + +Commendingly looking back at the pillow he had improvised, he left them +to their hour's repose. Maggy was snoring already, and Little Dorrit +was soon fast asleep with her head resting on that sealed book of Fate, +untroubled by its mysterious blank leaves. + +This was Little Dorrit's party. The shame, desertion, wretchedness, and +exposure of the great capital; the wet, the cold, the slow hours, and +the swift clouds of the dismal night. This was the party from which +Little Dorrit went home, jaded, in the first grey mist of a rainy +morning. + + + + +CHAPTER 15. Mrs Flintwinch has another Dream + + +The debilitated old house in the city, wrapped in its mantle of soot, +and leaning heavily on the crutches that had partaken of its decay and +worn out with it, never knew a healthy or a cheerful interval, let what +would betide. If the sun ever touched it, it was but with a ray, and +that was gone in half an hour; if the moonlight ever fell upon it, it +was only to put a few patches on its doleful cloak, and make it look +more wretched. The stars, to be sure, coldly watched it when the nights +and the smoke were clear enough; and all bad weather stood by it with +a rare fidelity. You should alike find rain, hail, frost, and thaw +lingering in that dismal enclosure when they had vanished from other +places; and as to snow, you should see it there for weeks, long after +it had changed from yellow to black, slowly weeping away its grimy life. +The place had no other adherents. As to street noises, the rumbling of +wheels in the lane merely rushed in at the gateway in going past, and +rushed out again: making the listening Mistress Affery feel as if she +were deaf, and recovered the sense of hearing by instantaneous flashes. +So with whistling, singing, talking, laughing, and all pleasant human +sounds. They leaped the gap in a moment, and went upon their way. + +The varying light of fire and candle in Mrs Clennam's room made the +greatest change that ever broke the dead monotony of the spot. In her +two long narrow windows, the fire shone sullenly all day, and sullenly +all night. On rare occasions it flashed up passionately, as she did; +but for the most part it was suppressed, like her, and preyed upon +itself evenly and slowly. During many hours of the short winter days, +however, when it was dusk there early in the afternoon, changing +distortions of herself in her wheeled chair, of Mr Flintwinch with his +wry neck, of Mistress Affery coming and going, would be thrown upon the +house wall that was over the gateway, and would hover there like shadows +from a great magic lantern. As the room-ridden invalid settled for the +night, these would gradually disappear: Mistress Affery's magnified +shadow always flitting about, last, until it finally glided away into +the air, as though she were off upon a witch excursion. Then the +solitary light would burn unchangingly, until it burned pale before the +dawn, and at last died under the breath of Mrs Affery, as her shadow +descended on it from the witch-region of sleep. + +Strange, if the little sick-room fire were in effect a beacon fire, +summoning some one, and that the most unlikely some one in the world, +to the spot that _must_ be come to. Strange, if the little sick-room light +were in effect a watch-light, burning in that place every night until +an appointed event should be watched out! Which of the vast multitude +of travellers, under the sun and the stars, climbing the dusty hills +and toiling along the weary plains, journeying by land and journeying by +sea, coming and going so strangely, to meet and to act and react on one +another; which of the host may, with no suspicion of the journey's end, +be travelling surely hither? + +Time shall show us. The post of honour and the post of shame, the +general's station and the drummer's, a peer's statue in Westminster +Abbey and a seaman's hammock in the bosom of the deep, the mitre and +the workhouse, the woolsack and the gallows, the throne and the +guillotine--the travellers to all are on the great high road, but it +has wonderful divergencies, and only Time shall show us whither each +traveller is bound. + +On a wintry afternoon at twilight, Mrs Flintwinch, having been heavy all +day, dreamed this dream: + +She thought she was in the kitchen getting the kettle ready for tea, and +was warming herself with her feet upon the fender and the skirt of her +gown tucked up, before the collapsed fire in the middle of the grate, +bordered on either hand by a deep cold black ravine. She thought that +as she sat thus, musing upon the question whether life was not for some +people a rather dull invention, she was frightened by a sudden noise +behind her. She thought that she had been similarly frightened once last +week, and that the noise was of a mysterious kind--a sound of rustling +and of three or four quick beats like a rapid step; while a shock or +tremble was communicated to her heart, as if the step had shaken the +floor, or even as if she had been touched by some awful hand. She +thought that this revived within her certain old fears of hers that +the house was haunted; and that she flew up the kitchen stairs without +knowing how she got up, to be nearer company. + +Mistress Affery thought that on reaching the hall, she saw the door of +her liege lord's office standing open, and the room empty. That she went +to the ripped-up window in the little room by the street door to connect +her palpitating heart, through the glass, with living things beyond +and outside the haunted house. That she then saw, on the wall over the +gateway, the shadows of the two clever ones in conversation above. That +she then went upstairs with her shoes in her hand, partly to be near +the clever ones as a match for most ghosts, and partly to hear what they +were talking about. + +'None of your nonsense with me,' said Mr Flintwinch. 'I won't take it +from you.' + +Mrs Flintwinch dreamed that she stood behind the door, which was just +ajar, and most distinctly heard her husband say these bold words. + +'Flintwinch,' returned Mrs Clennam, in her usual strong low voice, +'there is a demon of anger in you. Guard against it.' + +'I don't care whether there's one or a dozen,' said Mr Flintwinch, +forcibly suggesting in his tone that the higher number was nearer the +mark. 'If there was fifty, they should all say, None of your nonsense +with me, I won't take it from you--I'd make 'em say it, whether they +liked it or not.' + +'What have I done, you wrathful man?' her strong voice asked. + +'Done?' said Mr Flintwinch. 'Dropped down upon me.' + +'If you mean, remonstrated with you--' + +'Don't put words into my mouth that I don't mean,' said Jeremiah, +sticking to his figurative expression with tenacious and impenetrable +obstinacy: 'I mean dropped down upon me.' + +'I remonstrated with you,' she began again, 'because--' + +'I won't have it!' cried Jeremiah. 'You dropped down upon me.' + +'I dropped down upon you, then, you ill-conditioned man,' (Jeremiah +chuckled at having forced her to adopt his phrase,) 'for having been +needlessly significant to Arthur that morning. I have a right to +complain of it as almost a breach of confidence. You did not mean it--' + +'I won't have it!' interposed the contradictory Jeremiah, flinging back +the concession. 'I did mean it.' + +'I suppose I must leave you to speak in soliloquy if you choose,' she +replied, after a pause that seemed an angry one. 'It is useless my +addressing myself to a rash and headstrong old man who has a set purpose +not to hear me.' + +'Now, I won't take that from you either,' said Jeremiah. 'I have no such +purpose. I have told you I did mean it. Do you wish to know why I meant +it, you rash and headstrong old woman?' + +'After all, you only restore me my own words,' she said, struggling with +her indignation. 'Yes.' + +'This is why, then. Because you hadn't cleared his father to him, and +you ought to have done it. Because, before you went into any tantrum +about yourself, who are--' + +'Hold there, Flintwinch!' she cried out in a changed voice: 'you may go +a word too far.' + +The old man seemed to think so. There was another pause, and he had +altered his position in the room, when he spoke again more mildly: + +'I was going to tell you why it was. Because, before you took your own +part, I thought you ought to have taken the part of Arthur's father. +Arthur's father! I had no particular love for Arthur's father. I served +Arthur's father's uncle, in this house, when Arthur's father was not +much above me--was poorer as far as his pocket went--and when his uncle +might as soon have left me his heir as have left him. He starved in the +parlour, and I starved in the kitchen; that was the principal difference +in our positions; there was not much more than a flight of breakneck +stairs between us. I never took to him in those times; I don't know that +I ever took to him greatly at any time. He was an undecided, irresolute +chap, who had everything but his orphan life scared out of him when he +was young. And when he brought you home here, the wife his uncle +had named for him, I didn't need to look at you twice (you were a +good-looking woman at that time) to know who'd be master. You have stood +of your own strength ever since. Stand of your own strength now. Don't +lean against the dead.' + +'I do _not_--as you call it--lean against the dead.' + +'But you had a mind to do it, if I had submitted,' growled Jeremiah, +'and that's why you drop down upon me. You can't forget that I didn't +submit. I suppose you are astonished that I should consider it worth my +while to have justice done to Arthur's father? Hey? It doesn't matter +whether you answer or not, because I know you are, and you know you are. +Come, then, I'll tell you how it is. I may be a bit of an oddity in +point of temper, but this is my temper--I can't let anybody have +entirely their own way. You are a determined woman, and a clever woman; +and when you see your purpose before you, nothing will turn you from it. +Who knows that better than I do?' + +'Nothing will turn me from it, Flintwinch, when I have justified it to +myself. Add that.' + +'Justified it to yourself? I said you were the most determined woman on +the face of the earth (or I meant to say so), and if you are determined +to justify any object you entertain, of course you'll do it.' + +'Man! I justify myself by the authority of these Books,' she cried, with +stern emphasis, and appearing from the sound that followed to strike the +dead-weight of her arm upon the table. + +'Never mind that,' returned Jeremiah calmly, 'we won't enter into that +question at present. However that may be, you carry out your purposes, +and you make everything go down before them. Now, I won't go down before +them. I have been faithful to you, and useful to you, and I am attached +to you. But I can't consent, and I won't consent, and I never did +consent, and I never will consent to be lost in you. Swallow up +everybody else, and welcome. The peculiarity of my temper is, ma'am, +that I won't be swallowed up alive.' + +Perhaps this had originally been the mainspring of the understanding +between them. Descrying thus much of force of character in Mr +Flintwinch, perhaps Mrs Clennam had deemed alliance with him worth her +while. + +'Enough and more than enough of the subject,' said she gloomily. + +'Unless you drop down upon me again,' returned the persistent +Flintwinch, 'and then you must expect to hear of it again.' + +Mistress Affery dreamed that the figure of her lord here began walking +up and down the room, as if to cool his spleen, and that she ran away; +but that, as he did not issue forth when she had stood listening and +trembling in the shadowy hall a little time, she crept up-stairs again, +impelled as before by ghosts and curiosity, and once more cowered +outside the door. + +'Please to light the candle, Flintwinch,' Mrs Clennam was saying, +apparently wishing to draw him back into their usual tone. 'It is nearly +time for tea. Little Dorrit is coming, and will find me in the dark.' + +Mr Flintwinch lighted the candle briskly, and said as he put it down +upon the table: + +'What are you going to do with Little Dorrit? Is she to come to work +here for ever? To come to tea here for ever? To come backwards and +forwards here, in the same way, for ever?' + +'How can you talk about "for ever" to a maimed creature like me? Are we +not all cut down like the grass of the field, and was not I shorn by the +scythe many years ago: since when I have been lying here, waiting to be +gathered into the barn?' + +'Ay, ay! But since you have been lying here--not near dead--nothing like +it--numbers of children and young people, blooming women, strong men, +and what not, have been cut down and carried; and still here are you, +you see, not much changed after all. Your time and mine may be a long +one yet. When I say for ever, I mean (though I am not poetical) through +all our time.' Mr Flintwinch gave this explanation with great calmness, +and calmly waited for an answer. + +'So long as Little Dorrit is quiet and industrious, and stands in need +of the slight help I can give her, and deserves it; so long, I suppose, +unless she withdraws of her own act, she will continue to come here, I +being spared.' + +'Nothing more than that?' said Flintwinch, stroking his mouth and chin. + +'What should there be more than that! What could there be more than +that!' she ejaculated in her sternly wondering way. + +Mrs Flintwinch dreamed, that, for the space of a minute or two, they +remained looking at each other with the candle between them, and +that she somehow derived an impression that they looked at each other +fixedly. + +'Do you happen to know, Mrs Clennam,' Affery's liege lord then demanded +in a much lower voice, and with an amount of expression that seemed +quite out of proportion to the simple purpose of his words, 'where she +lives?' + +'No.' + +'Would you--now, would you like to know?' said Jeremiah with a pounce as +if he had sprung upon her. + +'If I cared to know, I should know already. Could I not have asked her +any day?' + +'Then you don't care to know?' + +'I do not.' + +Mr Flintwinch, having expelled a long significant breath said, with his +former emphasis, 'For I have accidentally--mind!--found out.' + +'Wherever she lives,' said Mrs Clennam, speaking in one unmodulated hard +voice, and separating her words as distinctly as if she were reading +them off from separate bits of metal that she took up one by one, 'she +has made a secret of it, and she shall always keep her secret from me.' + +'After all, perhaps you would rather not have known the fact, any how?' +said Jeremiah; and he said it with a twist, as if his words had come out +of him in his own wry shape. + +'Flintwinch,' said his mistress and partner, flashing into a sudden +energy that made Affery start, 'why do you goad me? Look round this +room. If it is any compensation for my long confinement within these +narrow limits--not that I complain of being afflicted; you know I never +complain of that--if it is any compensation to me for long confinement +to this room, that while I am shut up from all pleasant change I am also +shut up from the knowledge of some things that I may prefer to avoid +knowing, why should you, of all men, grudge me that belief?' + +'I don't grudge it to you,' returned Jeremiah. + +'Then say no more. Say no more. Let Little Dorrit keep her secret from +me, and do you keep it from me also. Let her come and go, unobserved and +unquestioned. Let me suffer, and let me have what alleviation belongs to +my condition. Is it so much, that you torment me like an evil spirit?' + +'I asked you a question. That's all.' + +'I have answered it. So, say no more. Say no more.' Here the sound of +the wheeled chair was heard upon the floor, and Affery's bell rang with +a hasty jerk. + +More afraid of her husband at the moment than of the mysterious sound in +the kitchen, Affery crept away as lightly and as quickly as she could, +descended the kitchen stairs almost as rapidly as she had ascended them, +resumed her seat before the fire, tucked up her skirt again, and finally +threw her apron over her head. Then the bell rang once more, and then +once more, and then kept on ringing; in despite of which importunate +summons, Affery still sat behind her apron, recovering her breath. + +At last Mr Flintwinch came shuffling down the staircase into the +hall, muttering and calling 'Affery woman!' all the way. Affery still +remaining behind her apron, he came stumbling down the kitchen stairs, +candle in hand, sidled up to her, twitched her apron off, and roused +her. + +'Oh Jeremiah!' cried Affery, waking. 'What a start you gave me!' + +'What have you been doing, woman?' inquired Jeremiah. 'You've been rung +for fifty times.' + +'Oh Jeremiah,' said Mistress Affery, 'I have been a-dreaming!' + +Reminded of her former achievement in that way, Mr Flintwinch held the +candle to her head, as if he had some idea of lighting her up for the +illumination of the kitchen. + +'Don't you know it's her tea-time?' he demanded with a vicious grin, and +giving one of the legs of Mistress Affery's chair a kick. + +'Jeremiah? Tea-time? I don't know what's come to me. But I got such a +dreadful turn, Jeremiah, before I went--off a-dreaming, that I think it +must be that.' + +'Yoogh! Sleepy-Head!' said Mr Flintwinch, 'what are you talking about?' + +'Such a strange noise, Jeremiah, and such a curious movement. In the +kitchen here--just here.' + +Jeremiah held up his light and looked at the blackened ceiling, held +down his light and looked at the damp stone floor, turned round with his +light and looked about at the spotted and blotched walls. + +'Rats, cats, water, drains,' said Jeremiah. + +Mistress Affery negatived each with a shake of her head. 'No, Jeremiah; +I have felt it before. I have felt it up-stairs, and once on the +staircase as I was going from her room to ours in the night--a rustle +and a sort of trembling touch behind me.' + +'Affery, my woman,' said Mr Flintwinch grimly, after advancing his nose +to that lady's lips as a test for the detection of spirituous liquors, +'if you don't get tea pretty quick, old woman, you'll become sensible +of a rustle and a touch that'll send you flying to the other end of the +kitchen.' + +This prediction stimulated Mrs Flintwinch to bestir herself, and to +hasten up-stairs to Mrs Clennam's chamber. But, for all that, she now +began to entertain a settled conviction that there was something wrong +in the gloomy house. Henceforth, she was never at peace in it after +daylight departed; and never went up or down stairs in the dark without +having her apron over her head, lest she should see something. + +What with these ghostly apprehensions and her singular dreams, Mrs +Flintwinch fell that evening into a haunted state of mind, from which +it may be long before this present narrative descries any trace of her +recovery. In the vagueness and indistinctness of all her new experiences +and perceptions, as everything about her was mysterious to herself she +began to be mysterious to others: and became as difficult to be made out +to anybody's satisfaction as she found the house and everything in it +difficult to make out to her own. + +She had not yet finished preparing Mrs Clennam's tea, when the soft +knock came to the door which always announced Little Dorrit. Mistress +Affery looked on at Little Dorrit taking off her homely bonnet in the +hall, and at Mr Flintwinch scraping his jaws and contemplating her in +silence, as expecting some wonderful consequence to ensue which would +frighten her out of her five wits or blow them all three to pieces. + +After tea there came another knock at the door, announcing Arthur. +Mistress Affery went down to let him in, and he said on entering, +'Affery, I am glad it's you. I want to ask you a question.' Affery +immediately replied, 'For goodness sake don't ask me nothing, Arthur! I +am frightened out of one half of my life, and dreamed out of the +other. Don't ask me nothing! I don't know which is which, or what is +what!'--and immediately started away from him, and came near him no +more. + +Mistress Affery having no taste for reading, and no sufficient light for +needlework in the subdued room, supposing her to have the inclination, +now sat every night in the dimness from which she had momentarily +emerged on the evening of Arthur Clennam's return, occupied with crowds +of wild speculations and suspicions respecting her mistress and her +husband and the noises in the house. When the ferocious devotional +exercises were engaged in, these speculations would distract Mistress +Affery's eyes towards the door, as if she expected some dark form to +appear at those propitious moments, and make the party one too many. + +Otherwise, Affery never said or did anything to attract the attention of +the two clever ones towards her in any marked degree, except on certain +occasions, generally at about the quiet hour towards bed-time, when she +would suddenly dart out of her dim corner, and whisper with a face of +terror to Mr Flintwinch, reading the paper near Mrs Clennam's little +table: + +'There, Jeremiah! Now! What's that noise?' + +Then the noise, if there were any, would have ceased, and Mr Flintwinch +would snarl, turning upon her as if she had cut him down that moment +against his will, 'Affery, old woman, you shall have a dose, old woman, +such a dose! You have been dreaming again!' + + + + +CHAPTER 16. Nobody's Weakness + + +The time being come for the renewal of his acquaintance with the Meagles +family, Clennam, pursuant to contract made between himself and Mr +Meagles within the precincts of Bleeding Heart Yard, turned his face +on a certain Saturday towards Twickenham, where Mr Meagles had a +cottage-residence of his own. The weather being fine and dry, and any +English road abounding in interest for him who had been so long away, +he sent his valise on by the coach, and set out to walk. A walk was in +itself a new enjoyment to him, and one that had rarely diversified his +life afar off. + +He went by Fulham and Putney, for the pleasure of strolling over the +heath. It was bright and shining there; and when he found himself so far +on his road to Twickenham, he found himself a long way on his road to +a number of airier and less substantial destinations. They had risen +before him fast, in the healthful exercise and the pleasant road. It is +not easy to walk alone in the country without musing upon something. And +he had plenty of unsettled subjects to meditate upon, though he had been +walking to the Land's End. + +First, there was the subject seldom absent from his mind, the question, +what he was to do henceforth in life; to what occupation he should +devote himself, and in what direction he had best seek it. He was far +from rich, and every day of indecision and inaction made his inheritance +a source of greater anxiety to him. As often as he began to consider how +to increase this inheritance, or to lay it by, so often his misgiving +that there was some one with an unsatisfied claim upon his justice, +returned; and that alone was a subject to outlast the longest walk. +Again, there was the subject of his relations with his mother, which +were now upon an equable and peaceful but never confidential footing, +and whom he saw several times a week. Little Dorrit was a leading and a +constant subject: for the circumstances of his life, united to those of +her own story, presented the little creature to him as the only person +between whom and himself there were ties of innocent reliance on one +hand, and affectionate protection on the other; ties of compassion, +respect, unselfish interest, gratitude, and pity. Thinking of her, and +of the possibility of her father's release from prison by the unbarring +hand of death--the only change of circumstance he could foresee that +might enable him to be such a friend to her as he wished to be, by +altering her whole manner of life, smoothing her rough road, and +giving her a home--he regarded her, in that perspective, as his adopted +daughter, his poor child of the Marshalsea hushed to rest. If there were +a last subject in his thoughts, and it lay towards Twickenham, its form +was so indefinite that it was little more than the pervading atmosphere +in which these other subjects floated before him. + +He had crossed the heath and was leaving it behind when he gained upon a +figure which had been in advance of him for some time, and which, as +he gained upon it, he thought he knew. He derived this impression +from something in the turn of the head, and in the figure's action of +consideration, as it went on at a sufficiently sturdy walk. But when +the man--for it was a man's figure--pushed his hat up at the back of his +head, and stopped to consider some object before him, he knew it to be +Daniel Doyce. + +'How do you do, Mr Doyce?' said Clennam, overtaking him. 'I am glad to +see you again, and in a healthier place than the Circumlocution Office.' + +'Ha! Mr Meagles's friend!' exclaimed that public criminal, coming out of +some mental combinations he had been making, and offering his hand. 'I +am glad to see you, sir. Will you excuse me if I forget your name?' + +'Readily. It's not a celebrated name. It's not Barnacle.' + +'No, no,' said Daniel, laughing. 'And now I know what it is. It's +Clennam. How do you do, Mr Clennam?' + +'I have some hope,' said Arthur, as they walked on together, 'that we +may be going to the same place, Mr Doyce.' + +'Meaning Twickenham?' returned Daniel. 'I am glad to hear it.' + +They were soon quite intimate, and lightened the way with a variety of +conversation. The ingenious culprit was a man of great modesty and good +sense; and, though a plain man, had been too much accustomed to combine +what was original and daring in conception with what was patient and +minute in execution, to be by any means an ordinary man. It was at first +difficult to lead him to speak about himself, and he put off Arthur's +advances in that direction by admitting slightly, oh yes, he had done +this, and he had done that, and such a thing was of his making, and +such another thing was his discovery, but it was his trade, you see, his +trade; until, as he gradually became assured that his companion had a +real interest in his account of himself, he frankly yielded to it. Then +it appeared that he was the son of a north-country blacksmith, and had +originally been apprenticed by his widowed mother to a lock-maker; that +he had 'struck out a few little things' at the lock-maker's, which had +led to his being released from his indentures with a present, which +present had enabled him to gratify his ardent wish to bind himself to +a working engineer, under whom he had laboured hard, learned hard, and +lived hard, seven years. His time being out, he had 'worked in the shop' +at weekly wages seven or eight years more; and had then betaken +himself to the banks of the Clyde, where he had studied, and filed, and +hammered, and improved his knowledge, theoretical and practical, for six +or seven years more. There he had had an offer to go to Lyons, which he +had accepted; and from Lyons had been engaged to go to Germany, and in +Germany had had an offer to go to St Petersburg, and there had done very +well indeed--never better. However, he had naturally felt a preference +for his own country, and a wish to gain distinction there, and to do +whatever service he could do, there rather than elsewhere. And so he had +come home. And so at home he had established himself in business, and +had invented and executed, and worked his way on, until, after a dozen +years of constant suit and service, he had been enrolled in the +Great British Legion of Honour, the Legion of the Rebuffed of the +Circumlocution Office, and had been decorated with the Great British +Order of Merit, the Order of the Disorder of the Barnacles and +Stiltstalkings. + +'It is much to be regretted,' said Clennam, 'that you ever turned your +thoughts that way, Mr Doyce.' + +'True, sir, true to a certain extent. But what is a man to do? if he +has the misfortune to strike out something serviceable to the nation, +he must follow where it leads him.' + +'Hadn't he better let it go?' said Clennam. + +'He can't do it,' said Doyce, shaking his head with a thoughtful smile. +'It's not put into his head to be buried. It's put into his head to be +made useful. You hold your life on the condition that to the last you +shall struggle hard for it. Every man holds a discovery on the same +terms.' + +'That is to say,' said Arthur, with a growing admiration of his quiet +companion, 'you are not finally discouraged even now?' + +'I have no right to be, if I am,' returned the other. 'The thing is as +true as it ever was.' + +When they had walked a little way in silence, Clennam, at once to +change the direct point of their conversation and not to change it +too abruptly, asked Mr Doyce if he had any partner in his business to +relieve him of a portion of its anxieties? + +'No,' he returned, 'not at present. I had when I first entered on it, +and a good man he was. But he has been dead some years; and as I could +not easily take to the notion of another when I lost him, I bought +his share for myself and have gone on by myself ever since. And here's +another thing,' he said, stopping for a moment with a good-humoured +laugh in his eyes, and laying his closed right hand, with its peculiar +suppleness of thumb, on Clennam's arm, 'no inventor can be a man of +business, you know.' + +'No?' said Clennam. + +'Why, so the men of business say,' he answered, resuming the walk and +laughing outright. 'I don't know why we unfortunate creatures should +be supposed to want common sense, but it is generally taken for granted +that we do. Even the best friend I have in the world, our excellent +friend over yonder,' said Doyce, nodding towards Twickenham, 'extends +a sort of protection to me, don't you know, as a man not quite able to +take care of himself?' + +Arthur Clennam could not help joining in the good-humoured laugh, for he +recognised the truth of the description. + +'So I find that I must have a partner who is a man of business and not +guilty of any inventions,' said Daniel Doyce, taking off his hat to pass +his hand over his forehead, 'if it's only in deference to the current +opinion, and to uphold the credit of the Works. I don't think he'll find +that I have been very remiss or confused in my way of conducting them; +but that's for him to say--whoever he is--not for me.' + +'You have not chosen him yet, then?' + +'No, sir, no. I have only just come to a decision to take one. The fact +is, there's more to do than there used to be, and the Works are enough +for me as I grow older. What with the books and correspondence, and +foreign journeys for which a Principal is necessary, I can't do all. I +am going to talk over the best way of negotiating the matter, if I find +a spare half-hour between this and Monday morning, with my--my Nurse and +protector,' said Doyce, with laughing eyes again. 'He is a sagacious man +in business, and has had a good apprenticeship to it.' + +After this, they conversed on different subjects until they arrived at +their journey's end. A composed and unobtrusive self-sustainment was +noticeable in Daniel Doyce--a calm knowledge that what was true must +remain true, in spite of all the Barnacles in the family ocean, and +would be just the truth, and neither more nor less when even that sea +had run dry--which had a kind of greatness in it, though not of the +official quality. + +As he knew the house well, he conducted Arthur to it by the way that +showed it to the best advantage. It was a charming place (none the worse +for being a little eccentric), on the road by the river, and just what +the residence of the Meagles family ought to be. It stood in a garden, +no doubt as fresh and beautiful in the May of the Year as Pet now was +in the May of her life; and it was defended by a goodly show of handsome +trees and spreading evergreens, as Pet was by Mr and Mrs Meagles. It +was made out of an old brick house, of which a part had been altogether +pulled down, and another part had been changed into the present cottage; +so there was a hale elderly portion, to represent Mr and Mrs Meagles, +and a young picturesque, very pretty portion to represent Pet. There was +even the later addition of a conservatory sheltering itself against it, +uncertain of hue in its deep-stained glass, and in its more transparent +portions flashing to the sun's rays, now like fire and now like harmless +water drops; which might have stood for Tattycoram. Within view was +the peaceful river and the ferry-boat, to moralise to all the inmates +saying: Young or old, passionate or tranquil, chafing or content, you, +thus runs the current always. Let the heart swell into what discord it +will, thus plays the rippling water on the prow of the ferry-boat ever +the same tune. Year after year, so much allowance for the drifting of +the boat, so many miles an hour the flowing of the stream, here the +rushes, there the lilies, nothing uncertain or unquiet, upon this road +that steadily runs away; while you, upon your flowing road of time, are +so capricious and distracted. + +The bell at the gate had scarcely sounded when Mr Meagles came out to +receive them. Mr Meagles had scarcely come out, when Mrs Meagles came +out. Mrs Meagles had scarcely come out, when Pet came out. Pet scarcely +had come out, when Tattycoram came out. Never had visitors a more +hospitable reception. + +'Here we are, you see,' said Mr Meagles, 'boxed up, Mr Clennam, within +our own home-limits, as if we were never going to expand--that is, +travel--again. Not like Marseilles, eh? No allonging and marshonging +here!' + +'A different kind of beauty, indeed!' said Clennam, looking about him. + +'But, Lord bless me!' cried Mr Meagles, rubbing his hands with a relish, +'it was an uncommonly pleasant thing being in quarantine, wasn't it? +Do you know, I have often wished myself back again? We were a capital +party.' + +This was Mr Meagles's invariable habit. Always to object to everything +while he was travelling, and always to want to get back to it when he +was not travelling. + +'If it was summer-time,' said Mr Meagles, 'which I wish it was on your +account, and in order that you might see the place at its best, you +would hardly be able to hear yourself speak for birds. Being practical +people, we never allow anybody to scare the birds; and the birds, being +practical people too, come about us in myriads. We are delighted to see +you, Clennam (if you'll allow me, I shall drop the Mister); I heartily +assure you, we are delighted.' + +'I have not had so pleasant a greeting,' said Clennam--then he recalled +what Little Dorrit had said to him in his own room, and faithfully +added 'except once--since we last walked to and fro, looking down at the +Mediterranean.' + +'Ah!' returned Mr Meagles. 'Something like a look out, _that_ was, wasn't +it? I don't want a military government, but I shouldn't mind a little +allonging and marshonging--just a dash of it--in this neighbourhood +sometimes. It's Devilish still.' + +Bestowing this eulogium on the retired character of his retreat with a +dubious shake of the head, Mr Meagles led the way into the house. It was +just large enough, and no more; was as pretty within as it was without, +and was perfectly well-arranged and comfortable. Some traces of the +migratory habits of the family were to be observed in the covered frames +and furniture, and wrapped-up hangings; but it was easy to see that it +was one of Mr Meagles's whims to have the cottage always kept, in their +absence, as if they were always coming back the day after to-morrow. Of +articles collected on his various expeditions, there was such a vast +miscellany that it was like the dwelling of an amiable Corsair. There +were antiquities from Central Italy, made by the best modern houses in +that department of industry; bits of mummy from Egypt (and perhaps +Birmingham); model gondolas from Venice; model villages from +Switzerland; morsels of tesselated pavement from Herculaneum and +Pompeii, like petrified minced veal; ashes out of tombs, and lava out of +Vesuvius; Spanish fans, Spezzian straw hats, Moorish slippers, Tuscan +hairpins, Carrara sculpture, Trastaverini scarves, Genoese velvets and +filigree, Neapolitan coral, Roman cameos, Geneva jewellery, Arab +lanterns, rosaries blest all round by the Pope himself, and an infinite +variety of lumber. There were views, like and unlike, of a multitude of +places; and there was one little picture-room devoted to a few of the +regular sticky old Saints, with sinews like whipcord, hair like +Neptune's, wrinkles like tattooing, and such coats of varnish that every +holy personage served for a fly-trap, and became what is now called in +the vulgar tongue a Catch-em-alive O. Of these pictorial acquisitions Mr +Meagles spoke in the usual manner. He was no judge, he said, except of +what pleased himself; he had picked them up, dirt-cheap, and people +_had_ considered them rather fine. One man, who at any rate ought to +know something of the subject, had declared that 'Sage, Reading' (a +specially oily old gentleman in a blanket, with a swan's-down tippet for +a beard, and a web of cracks all over him like rich pie-crust), to be a +fine Guercino. As for Sebastian del Piombo there, you would judge for +yourself; if it were not his later manner, the question was, Who was it? +Titian, that might or might not be--perhaps he had only touched it. +Daniel Doyce said perhaps he hadn't touched it, but Mr Meagles rather +declined to overhear the remark. + +When he had shown all his spoils, Mr Meagles took them into his own +snug room overlooking the lawn, which was fitted up in part like a +dressing-room and in part like an office, and in which, upon a kind of +counter-desk, were a pair of brass scales for weighing gold, and a scoop +for shovelling out money. + +'Here they are, you see,' said Mr Meagles. 'I stood behind these two +articles five-and-thirty years running, when I no more thought of +gadding about than I now think of--staying at home. When I left the Bank +for good, I asked for them, and brought them away with me. I mention it +at once, or you might suppose that I sit in my counting-house (as Pet +says I do), like the king in the poem of the four-and-twenty blackbirds, +counting out my money.' + +Clennam's eyes had strayed to a natural picture on the wall, of two +pretty little girls with their arms entwined. 'Yes, Clennam,' said +Mr Meagles, in a lower voice. 'There they both are. It was taken some +seventeen years ago. As I often say to Mother, they were babies then.' + +'Their names?' said Arthur. + +'Ah, to be sure! You have never heard any name but Pet. Pet's name is +Minnie; her sister's Lillie.' + +'Should you have known, Mr Clennam, that one of them was meant for me?' +asked Pet herself, now standing in the doorway. + +'I might have thought that both of them were meant for you, both +are still so like you. Indeed,' said Clennam, glancing from the fair +original to the picture and back, 'I cannot even now say which is not +your portrait.' + +'D'ye hear that, Mother?' cried Mr Meagles to his wife, who had followed +her daughter. 'It's always the same, Clennam; nobody can decide. The +child to your left is Pet.' + +The picture happened to be near a looking-glass. As Arthur looked at +it again, he saw, by the reflection of the mirror, Tattycoram stop in +passing outside the door, listen to what was going on, and pass away +with an angry and contemptuous frown upon her face, that changed its +beauty into ugliness. + +'But come!' said Mr Meagles. 'You have had a long walk, and will be glad +to get your boots off. As to Daniel here, I suppose he'd never think of +taking _his_ boots off, unless we showed him a boot-jack.' + +'Why not?' asked Daniel, with a significant smile at Clennam. + +'Oh! You have so many things to think about,' returned Mr Meagles, +clapping him on the shoulder, as if his weakness must not be left to +itself on any account. 'Figures, and wheels, and cogs, and levers, and +screws, and cylinders, and a thousand things.' + +'In my calling,' said Daniel, amused, 'the greater usually includes the +less. But never mind, never mind! Whatever pleases you, pleases me.' + +Clennam could not help speculating, as he seated himself in his room +by the fire, whether there might be in the breast of this honest, +affectionate, and cordial Mr Meagles, any microscopic portion of +the mustard-seed that had sprung up into the great tree of the +Circumlocution Office. His curious sense of a general superiority to +Daniel Doyce, which seemed to be founded, not so much on anything +in Doyce's personal character as on the mere fact of his being an +originator and a man out of the beaten track of other men, suggested the +idea. It might have occupied him until he went down to dinner an hour +afterwards, if he had not had another question to consider, which +had been in his mind so long ago as before he was in quarantine at +Marseilles, and which had now returned to it, and was very urgent with +it. No less a question than this: Whether he should allow himself to +fall in love with Pet? + +He was twice her age. (He changed the leg he had crossed over the other, +and tried the calculation again, but could not bring out the total at +less.) He was twice her age. Well! He was young in appearance, young +in health and strength, young in heart. A man was certainly not old +at forty; and many men were not in circumstances to marry, or did not +marry, until they had attained that time of life. On the other hand, the +question was, not what he thought of the point, but what she thought of +it. + +He believed that Mr Meagles was disposed to entertain a ripe regard for +him, and he knew that he had a sincere regard for Mr Meagles and his +good wife. He could foresee that to relinquish this beautiful only +child, of whom they were so fond, to any husband, would be a trial +of their love which perhaps they never yet had had the fortitude to +contemplate. But the more beautiful and winning and charming she, the +nearer they must always be to the necessity of approaching it. And why +not in his favour, as well as in another's? + +When he had got so far, it came again into his head that the question +was, not what they thought of it, but what she thought of it. + +Arthur Clennam was a retiring man, with a sense of many deficiencies; +and he so exalted the merits of the beautiful Minnie in his mind, and +depressed his own, that when he pinned himself to this point, his hopes +began to fail him. He came to the final resolution, as he made himself +ready for dinner, that he would not allow himself to fall in love with +Pet. + +There were only five, at a round table, and it was very pleasant indeed. +They had so many places and people to recall, and they were all so easy +and cheerful together (Daniel Doyce either sitting out like an amused +spectator at cards, or coming in with some shrewd little experiences of +his own, when it happened to be to the purpose), that they might have +been together twenty times, and not have known so much of one another. + +'And Miss Wade,' said Mr Meagles, after they had recalled a number of +fellow-travellers. 'Has anybody seen Miss Wade?' + +'I have,' said Tattycoram. + +She had brought a little mantle which her young mistress had sent for, +and was bending over her, putting it on, when she lifted up her dark +eyes and made this unexpected answer. + +'Tatty!' her young mistress exclaimed. 'You seen Miss Wade?--where?' + +'Here, miss,' said Tattycoram. + +'How?' + +An impatient glance from Tattycoram seemed, as Clennam saw it, to answer +'With my eyes!' But her only answer in words was: 'I met her near the +church.' + +'What was she doing there I wonder!' said Mr Meagles. 'Not going to it, +I should think.' + +'She had written to me first,' said Tattycoram. + +'Oh, Tatty!' murmured her mistress, 'take your hands away. I feel as if +some one else was touching me!' + +She said it in a quick involuntary way, but half playfully, and not more +petulantly or disagreeably than a favourite child might have done, who +laughed next moment. Tattycoram set her full red lips together, and +crossed her arms upon her bosom. + +'Did you wish to know, sir,' she said, looking at Mr Meagles, 'what Miss +Wade wrote to me about?' + +'Well, Tattycoram,' returned Mr Meagles, 'since you ask the question, +and we are all friends here, perhaps you may as well mention it, if you +are so inclined.' + +'She knew, when we were travelling, where you lived,' said Tattycoram, +'and she had seen me not quite--not quite--' + +'Not quite in a good temper, Tattycoram?' suggested Mr Meagles, +shaking his head at the dark eyes with a quiet caution. 'Take a little +time--count five-and-twenty, Tattycoram.' + +She pressed her lips together again, and took a long deep breath. + +'So she wrote to me to say that if I ever felt myself hurt,' she looked +down at her young mistress, 'or found myself worried,' she looked down +at her again, 'I might go to her, and be considerately treated. I was +to think of it, and could speak to her by the church. So I went there to +thank her.' + +'Tatty,' said her young mistress, putting her hand up over her shoulder +that the other might take it, 'Miss Wade almost frightened me when we +parted, and I scarcely like to think of her just now as having been so +near me without my knowing it. Tatty dear!' + +Tatty stood for a moment, immovable. + +'Hey?' cried Mr Meagles. 'Count another five-and-twenty, Tattycoram.' + +She might have counted a dozen, when she bent and put her lips to the +caressing hand. It patted her cheek, as it touched the owner's beautiful +curls, and Tattycoram went away. + +'Now there,' said Mr Meagles softly, as he gave a turn to the +dumb-waiter on his right hand to twirl the sugar towards himself. +'There's a girl who might be lost and ruined, if she wasn't among +practical people. Mother and I know, solely from being practical, that +there are times when that girl's whole nature seems to roughen itself +against seeing us so bound up in Pet. No father and mother were bound +up in her, poor soul. I don't like to think of the way in which that +unfortunate child, with all that passion and protest in her, feels when +she hears the Fifth Commandment on a Sunday. I am always inclined to +call out, Church, Count five-and-twenty, Tattycoram.' + +Besides his dumb-waiter, Mr Meagles had two other not dumb waiters in +the persons of two parlour-maids with rosy faces and bright eyes, who +were a highly ornamental part of the table decoration. 'And why not, you +see?' said Mr Meagles on this head. 'As I always say to Mother, why +not have something pretty to look at, if you have anything at all?' + +A certain Mrs Tickit, who was Cook and Housekeeper when the family were +at home, and Housekeeper only when the family were away, completed the +establishment. Mr Meagles regretted that the nature of the duties in +which she was engaged, rendered Mrs Tickit unpresentable at present, +but hoped to introduce her to the new visitor to-morrow. She was an +important part of the Cottage, he said, and all his friends knew her. +That was her picture up in the corner. When they went away, she always +put on the silk-gown and the jet-black row of curls represented in that +portrait (her hair was reddish-grey in the kitchen), established herself +in the breakfast-room, put her spectacles between two particular leaves +of Doctor Buchan's Domestic Medicine, and sat looking over the blind all +day until they came back again. It was supposed that no persuasion could +be invented which would induce Mrs Tickit to abandon her post at the +blind, however long their absence, or to dispense with the attendance +of Dr Buchan; the lucubrations of which learned practitioner, Mr Meagles +implicitly believed she had never yet consulted to the extent of one +word in her life. + +In the evening they played an old-fashioned rubber; and Pet sat looking +over her father's hand, or singing to herself by fits and starts at the +piano. She was a spoilt child; but how could she be otherwise? Who could +be much with so pliable and beautiful a creature, and not yield to her +endearing influence? Who could pass an evening in the house, and not +love her for the grace and charm of her very presence in the room? This +was Clennam's reflection, notwithstanding the final conclusion at which +he had arrived up-stairs. + +In making it, he revoked. 'Why, what are you thinking of, my good sir?' +asked the astonished Mr Meagles, who was his partner. 'I beg your +pardon. Nothing,' returned Clennam. 'Think of something, next time; +that's a dear fellow,' said Mr Meagles. Pet laughingly believed he had +been thinking of Miss Wade. 'Why of Miss Wade, Pet?' asked her father. +'Why, indeed!' said Arthur Clennam. Pet coloured a little, and went to +the piano again. + +As they broke up for the night, Arthur overheard Doyce ask his host if +he could give him half an hour's conversation before breakfast in the +morning? The host replying willingly, Arthur lingered behind a moment, +having his own word to add to that topic. + +'Mr Meagles,' he said, on their being left alone, 'do you remember when +you advised me to go straight to London?' + +'Perfectly well.' + +'And when you gave me some other good advice which I needed at that time?' + +'I won't say what it was worth,' answered Mr Meagles: 'but of course I +remember our being very pleasant and confidential together.' + +'I have acted on your advice; and having disembarrassed myself of an +occupation that was painful to me for many reasons, wish to devote +myself and what means I have, to another pursuit.' + +'Right! You can't do it too soon,' said Mr Meagles. + +'Now, as I came down to-day, I found that your friend, Mr Doyce, is +looking for a partner in his business--not a partner in his mechanical +knowledge, but in the ways and means of turning the business arising +from it to the best account.' + +'Just so,' said Mr Meagles, with his hands in his pockets, and with +the old business expression of face that had belonged to the scales and +scoop. + +'Mr Doyce mentioned incidentally, in the course of our conversation, +that he was going to take your valuable advice on the subject of finding +such a partner. If you should think our views and opportunities at all +likely to coincide, perhaps you will let him know my available position. +I speak, of course, in ignorance of the details, and they may be +unsuitable on both sides.' + +'No doubt, no doubt,' said Mr Meagles, with the caution belonging to the +scales and scoop. + +'But they will be a question of figures and accounts--' + +'Just so, just so,' said Mr Meagles, with arithmetical solidity +belonging to the scales and scoop. + +'--And I shall be glad to enter into the subject, provided Mr Doyce +responds, and you think well of it. If you will at present, therefore, +allow me to place it in your hands, you will much oblige me.' + +'Clennam, I accept the trust with readiness,' said Mr Meagles. 'And +without anticipating any of the points which you, as a man of business, +have of course reserved, I am free to say to you that I think something +may come of this. Of one thing you may be perfectly certain. Daniel is +an honest man.' + +'I am so sure of it that I have promptly made up my mind to speak to +you.' + +'You must guide him, you know; you must steer him; you must direct him; +he is one of a crotchety sort,' said Mr Meagles, evidently meaning +nothing more than that he did new things and went new ways; 'but he is +as honest as the sun, and so good night!' + +Clennam went back to his room, sat down again before his fire, and made +up his mind that he was glad he had resolved not to fall in love with +Pet. She was so beautiful, so amiable, so apt to receive any true +impression given to her gentle nature and her innocent heart, and make +the man who should be so happy as to communicate it, the most fortunate +and enviable of all men, that he was very glad indeed he had come to +that conclusion. + +But, as this might have been a reason for coming to the opposite +conclusion, he followed out the theme again a little way in his mind; to +justify himself, perhaps. + +'Suppose that a man,' so his thoughts ran, 'who had been of age some +twenty years or so; who was a diffident man, from the circumstances of +his youth; who was rather a grave man, from the tenor of his life; who +knew himself to be deficient in many little engaging qualities which +he admired in others, from having been long in a distant region, with +nothing softening near him; who had no kind sisters to present to her; +who had no congenial home to make her known in; who was a stranger in +the land; who had not a fortune to compensate, in any measure, for +these defects; who had nothing in his favour but his honest love and his +general wish to do right--suppose such a man were to come to this house, +and were to yield to the captivation of this charming girl, and were to +persuade himself that he could hope to win her; what a weakness it would +be!' + +He softly opened his window, and looked out upon the serene river. Year +after year so much allowance for the drifting of the ferry-boat, so +many miles an hour the flowing of the stream, here the rushes, there the +lilies, nothing uncertain or unquiet. + +Why should he be vexed or sore at heart? It was not his weakness that he +had imagined. It was nobody's, nobody's within his knowledge; why should +it trouble him? And yet it did trouble him. And he thought--who has not +thought for a moment, sometimes?--that it might be better to flow away +monotonously, like the river, and to compound for its insensibility to +happiness with its insensibility to pain. + + + + +CHAPTER 17. Nobody's Rival + + +Before breakfast in the morning, Arthur walked out to look about him. +As the morning was fine and he had an hour on his hands, he crossed the +river by the ferry, and strolled along a footpath through some meadows. +When he came back to the towing-path, he found the ferry-boat on the +opposite side, and a gentleman hailing it and waiting to be taken over. + +This gentleman looked barely thirty. He was well dressed, of a sprightly +and gay appearance, a well-knit figure, and a rich dark complexion. As +Arthur came over the stile and down to the water's edge, the lounger +glanced at him for a moment, and then resumed his occupation of idly +tossing stones into the water with his foot. There was something in his +way of spurning them out of their places with his heel, and getting them +into the required position, that Clennam thought had an air of cruelty +in it. Most of us have more or less frequently derived a similar +impression from a man's manner of doing some very little thing: plucking +a flower, clearing away an obstacle, or even destroying an insentient +object. + +The gentleman's thoughts were preoccupied, as his face showed, and he +took no notice of a fine Newfoundland dog, who watched him attentively, +and watched every stone too, in its turn, eager to spring into the +river on receiving his master's sign. The ferry-boat came over, however, +without his receiving any sign, and when it grounded his master took him +by the collar and walked him into it. + +'Not this morning,' he said to the dog. 'You won't do for ladies' +company, dripping wet. Lie down.' + +Clennam followed the man and the dog into the boat, and took his seat. +The dog did as he was ordered. The man remained standing, with his hands +in his pockets, and towered between Clennam and the prospect. Man and +dog both jumped lightly out as soon as they touched the other side, and +went away. Clennam was glad to be rid of them. + +The church clock struck the breakfast hour as he walked up the little +lane by which the garden-gate was approached. The moment he pulled the +bell a deep loud barking assailed him from within the wall. + +'I heard no dog last night,' thought Clennam. The gate was opened by +one of the rosy maids, and on the lawn were the Newfoundland dog and the +man. + +'Miss Minnie is not down yet, gentlemen,' said the blushing portress, as +they all came together in the garden. Then she said to the master of the +dog, 'Mr Clennam, sir,' and tripped away. + +'Odd enough, Mr Clennam, that we should have met just now,' said +the man. Upon which the dog became mute. 'Allow me to introduce +myself--Henry Gowan. A pretty place this, and looks wonderfully well +this morning!' + +The manner was easy, and the voice agreeable; but still Clennam thought, +that if he had not made that decided resolution to avoid falling in love +with Pet, he would have taken a dislike to this Henry Gowan. + +'It's new to you, I believe?' said this Gowan, when Arthur had extolled +the place. + +'Quite new. I made acquaintance with it only yesterday afternoon.' + +'Ah! Of course this is not its best aspect. It used to look charming in +the spring, before they went away last time. I should like you to have +seen it then.' + +But for that resolution so often recalled, Clennam might have wished him +in the crater of Mount Etna, in return for this civility. + +'I have had the pleasure of seeing it under many circumstances during +the last three years, and it's--a Paradise.' + +It was (at least it might have been, always excepting for that wise +resolution) like his dexterous impudence to call it a Paradise. He only +called it a Paradise because he first saw her coming, and so made her +out within her hearing to be an angel, Confusion to him! + +And ah! how beaming she looked, and how glad! How she caressed the dog, +and how the dog knew her! How expressive that heightened colour in her +face, that fluttered manner, her downcast eyes, her irresolute +happiness! When had Clennam seen her look like this? Not that there was +any reason why he might, could, would, or should have ever seen her look +like this, or that he had ever hoped for himself to see her look like +this; but still--when had he ever known her do it! + +He stood at a little distance from them. This Gowan when he had talked +about a Paradise, had gone up to her and taken her hand. The dog had put +his great paws on her arm and laid his head against her dear bosom. She +had laughed and welcomed them, and made far too much of the dog, far, +far, too much--that is to say, supposing there had been any third person +looking on who loved her. + +She disengaged herself now, and came to Clennam, and put her hand in his +and wished him good morning, and gracefully made as if she would take +his arm and be escorted into the house. To this Gowan had no objection. +No, he knew he was too safe. + +There was a passing cloud on Mr Meagles's good-humoured face when they +all three (four, counting the dog, and he was the most objectionable +but one of the party) came in to breakfast. Neither it, nor the touch +of uneasiness on Mrs Meagles as she directed her eyes towards it, was +unobserved by Clennam. + +'Well, Gowan,' said Mr Meagles, even suppressing a sigh; 'how goes the +world with you this morning?' + +'Much as usual, sir. Lion and I being determined not to waste anything +of our weekly visit, turned out early, and came over from Kingston, my +present headquarters, where I am making a sketch or two.' Then he told +how he had met Mr Clennam at the ferry, and they had come over together. + +'Mrs Gowan is well, Henry?' said Mrs Meagles. (Clennam became +attentive.) + +'My mother is quite well, thank you.' (Clennam became inattentive.) 'I +have taken the liberty of making an addition to your family dinner-party +to-day, which I hope will not be inconvenient to you or to Mr Meagles. I +couldn't very well get out of it,' he explained, turning to the latter. +'The young fellow wrote to propose himself to me; and as he is well +connected, I thought you would not object to my transferring him here.' + +'Who _is_ the young fellow?' asked Mr Meagles with peculiar complacency. + +'He is one of the Barnacles. Tite Barnacle's son, Clarence Barnacle, who +is in his father's Department. I can at least guarantee that the river +shall not suffer from his visit. He won't set it on fire.' + +'Aye, aye?' said Meagles. 'A Barnacle is he? _We_ know something of that +family, eh, Dan? By George, they are at the top of the tree, though! Let +me see. What relation will this young fellow be to Lord Decimus now? His +Lordship married, in seventeen ninety-seven, Lady Jemima Bilberry, who +was the second daughter by the third marriage--no! There I am wrong! +That was Lady Seraphina--Lady Jemima was the first daughter by the +second marriage of the fifteenth Earl of Stiltstalking with the +Honourable Clementina Toozellem. Very well. Now this young fellow's +father married a Stiltstalking and _his_ father married his cousin who +was a Barnacle. The father of that father who married a Barnacle, +married a Joddleby.--I am getting a little too far back, Gowan; I want +to make out what relation this young fellow is to Lord Decimus.' + +'That's easily stated. His father is nephew to Lord Decimus.' + +'Nephew--to--Lord--Decimus,' Mr Meagles luxuriously repeated with his +eyes shut, that he might have nothing to distract him from the full +flavour of the genealogical tree. 'By George, you are right, Gowan. So +he is.' + +'Consequently, Lord Decimus is his great uncle.' + +'But stop a bit!' said Mr Meagles, opening his eyes with a fresh +discovery. 'Then on the mother's side, Lady Stiltstalking is his great +aunt.' + +'Of course she is.' + +'Aye, aye, aye?' said Mr Meagles with much interest. 'Indeed, indeed? We +shall be glad to see him. We'll entertain him as well as we can, in our +humble way; and we shall not starve him, I hope, at all events.' + +In the beginning of this dialogue, Clennam had expected some great +harmless outburst from Mr Meagles, like that which had made him burst +out of the Circumlocution Office, holding Doyce by the collar. But his +good friend had a weakness which none of us need go into the next street +to find, and which no amount of Circumlocution experience could long +subdue in him. Clennam looked at Doyce; but Doyce knew all about it +beforehand, and looked at his plate, and made no sign, and said no word. + +'I am much obliged to you,' said Gowan, to conclude the subject. +'Clarence is a great ass, but he is one of the dearest and best fellows +that ever lived!' + +It appeared, before the breakfast was over, that everybody whom this +Gowan knew was either more or less of an ass, or more or less of a +knave; but was, notwithstanding, the most lovable, the most engaging, +the simplest, truest, kindest, dearest, best fellow that ever lived. +The process by which this unvarying result was attained, whatever the +premises, might have been stated by Mr Henry Gowan thus: 'I claim to be +always book-keeping, with a peculiar nicety, in every man's case, and +posting up a careful little account of Good and Evil with him. I do +this so conscientiously, that I am happy to tell you I find the most +worthless of men to be the dearest old fellow too: and am in a condition +to make the gratifying report, that there is much less difference than +you are inclined to suppose between an honest man and a scoundrel.' The +effect of this cheering discovery happened to be, that while he seemed +to be scrupulously finding good in most men, he did in reality lower +it where it was, and set it up where it was not; but that was its only +disagreeable or dangerous feature. + +It scarcely seemed, however, to afford Mr Meagles as much satisfaction +as the Barnacle genealogy had done. The cloud that Clennam had never +seen upon his face before that morning, frequently overcast it again; +and there was the same shadow of uneasy observation of him on the comely +face of his wife. More than once or twice when Pet caressed the dog, +it appeared to Clennam that her father was unhappy in seeing her do it; +and, in one particular instance when Gowan stood on the other side of +the dog, and bent his head at the same time, Arthur fancied that he saw +tears rise to Mr Meagles's eyes as he hurried out of the room. It was +either the fact too, or he fancied further, that Pet herself was not +insensible to these little incidents; that she tried, with a more +delicate affection than usual, to express to her good father how much +she loved him; that it was on this account that she fell behind the +rest, both as they went to church and as they returned from it, and +took his arm. He could not have sworn but that as he walked alone in +the garden afterwards, he had an instantaneous glimpse of her in +her father's room, clinging to both her parents with the greatest +tenderness, and weeping on her father's shoulder. + +The latter part of the day turning out wet, they were fain to keep the +house, look over Mr Meagles's collection, and beguile the time with +conversation. This Gowan had plenty to say for himself, and said it +in an off-hand and amusing manner. He appeared to be an artist by +profession, and to have been at Rome some time; yet he had a slight, +careless, amateur way with him--a perceptible limp, both in his devotion +to art and his attainments--which Clennam could scarcely understand. + +He applied to Daniel Doyce for help, as they stood together, looking out +of window. + +'You know Mr Gowan?' he said in a low voice. + +'I have seen him here. Comes here every Sunday when they are at home.' + +'An artist, I infer from what he says?' + +'A sort of a one,' said Daniel Doyce, in a surly tone. + +'What sort of a one?' asked Clennam, with a smile. + +'Why, he has sauntered into the Arts at a leisurely Pall-Mall pace,' +said Doyce, 'and I doubt if they care to be taken quite so coolly.' + +Pursuing his inquiries, Clennam found that the Gowan family were a very +distant ramification of the Barnacles; and that the paternal Gowan, +originally attached to a legation abroad, had been pensioned off as a +Commissioner of nothing particular somewhere or other, and had died at +his post with his drawn salary in his hand, nobly defending it to the +last extremity. In consideration of this eminent public service, the +Barnacle then in power had recommended the Crown to bestow a pension of +two or three hundred a-year on his widow; to which the next Barnacle in +power had added certain shady and sedate apartments in the Palaces at +Hampton Court, where the old lady still lived, deploring the degeneracy +of the times in company with several other old ladies of both sexes. Her +son, Mr Henry Gowan, inheriting from his father, the Commissioner, that +very questionable help in life, a very small independence, had been +difficult to settle; the rather, as public appointments chanced to +be scarce, and his genius, during his earlier manhood, was of that +exclusively agricultural character which applies itself to the +cultivation of wild oats. At last he had declared that he would become +a Painter; partly because he had always had an idle knack that way, +and partly to grieve the souls of the Barnacles-in-chief who had not +provided for him. So it had come to pass successively, first, that +several distinguished ladies had been frightfully shocked; then, that +portfolios of his performances had been handed about o' nights, and +declared with ecstasy to be perfect Claudes, perfect Cuyps, perfect +phaenomena; then, that Lord Decimus had bought his picture, and had +asked the President and Council to dinner at a blow, and had said, with +his own magnificent gravity, 'Do you know, there appears to me to +be really immense merit in that work?' and, in short, that people of +condition had absolutely taken pains to bring him into fashion. But, +somehow, it had all failed. The prejudiced public had stood out against +it obstinately. They had determined not to admire Lord Decimus's +picture. They had determined to believe that in every service, except +their own, a man must qualify himself, by striving early and late, and +by working heart and soul, might and main. So now Mr Gowan, like that +worn-out old coffin which never was Mahomet's nor anybody else's, hung +midway between two points: jaundiced and jealous as to the one he had +left: jaundiced and jealous as to the other that he couldn't reach. + +Such was the substance of Clennam's discoveries concerning him, made +that rainy Sunday afternoon and afterwards. + +About an hour or so after dinner time, Young Barnacle appeared, attended +by his eye-glass; in honour of whose family connections, Mr Meagles had +cashiered the pretty parlour-maids for the day, and had placed on duty +in their stead two dingy men. Young Barnacle was in the last +degree amazed and disconcerted at sight of Arthur, and had murmured +involuntarily, 'Look here! upon my soul, you know!' before his presence +of mind returned. + +Even then, he was obliged to embrace the earliest opportunity of taking +his friend into a window, and saying, in a nasal way that was a part of +his general debility: + +'I want to speak to you, Gowan. I say. Look here. Who is that fellow?' + +'A friend of our host's. None of mine.' + +'He's a most ferocious Radical, you know,' said Young Barnacle. + +'Is he? How do you know?' + +'Ecod, sir, he was Pitching into our people the other day in the most +tremendous manner. Went up to our place and Pitched into my father to +that extent that it was necessary to order him out. Came back to +our Department, and Pitched into me. Look here. You never saw such a +fellow.' + +'What did he want?' + +'Ecod, sir,' returned Young Barnacle, 'he said he wanted to know, you +know! Pervaded our Department--without an appointment--and said he +wanted to know!' + +The stare of indignant wonder with which Young Barnacle accompanied +this disclosure, would have strained his eyes injuriously but for +the opportune relief of dinner. Mr Meagles (who had been extremely +solicitous to know how his uncle and aunt were) begged him to conduct +Mrs Meagles to the dining-room. And when he sat on Mrs Meagles's right +hand, Mr Meagles looked as gratified as if his whole family were there. + +All the natural charm of the previous day was gone. The eaters of the +dinner, like the dinner itself, were lukewarm, insipid, overdone--and +all owing to this poor little dull Young Barnacle. Conversationless at +any time, he was now the victim of a weakness special to the occasion, +and solely referable to Clennam. He was under a pressing and continual +necessity of looking at that gentleman, which occasioned his eye-glass +to get into his soup, into his wine-glass, into Mrs Meagles's plate, to +hang down his back like a bell-rope, and be several times disgracefully +restored to his bosom by one of the dingy men. Weakened in mind by his +frequent losses of this instrument, and its determination not to stick +in his eye, and more and more enfeebled in intellect every time he +looked at the mysterious Clennam, he applied spoons to his eyes, +forks, and other foreign matters connected with the furniture of the +dinner-table. His discovery of these mistakes greatly increased his +difficulties, but never released him from the necessity of looking at +Clennam. And whenever Clennam spoke, this ill-starred young man was +clearly seized with a dread that he was coming, by some artful device, +round to that point of wanting to know, you know. + +It may be questioned, therefore, whether any one but Mr Meagles had much +enjoyment of the time. Mr Meagles, however, thoroughly enjoyed Young +Barnacle. As a mere flask of the golden water in the tale became a full +fountain when it was poured out, so Mr Meagles seemed to feel that this +small spice of Barnacle imparted to his table the flavour of the whole +family-tree. In its presence, his frank, fine, genuine qualities +paled; he was not so easy, he was not so natural, he was striving after +something that did not belong to him, he was not himself. What a strange +peculiarity on the part of Mr Meagles, and where should we find another +such case! + +At last the wet Sunday wore itself out in a wet night; and Young +Barnacle went home in a cab, feebly smoking; and the objectionable Gowan +went away on foot, accompanied by the objectionable dog. Pet had taken +the most amiable pains all day to be friendly with Clennam, but Clennam +had been a little reserved since breakfast--that is to say, would have +been, if he had loved her. + +When he had gone to his own room, and had again thrown himself into the +chair by the fire, Mr Doyce knocked at the door, candle in hand, to +ask him how and at what hour he proposed returning on the morrow? After +settling this question, he said a word to Mr Doyce about this Gowan--who +would have run in his head a good deal, if he had been his rival. + +'Those are not good prospects for a painter,' said Clennam. + +'No,' returned Doyce. + +Mr Doyce stood, chamber-candlestick in hand, the other hand in his +pocket, looking hard at the flame of his candle, with a certain quiet +perception in his face that they were going to say something more. + +'I thought our good friend a little changed, and out of spirits, after +he came this morning?' said Clennam. + +'Yes,' returned Doyce. + +'But not his daughter?' said Clennam. + +'No,' said Doyce. + +There was a pause on both sides. Mr Doyce, still looking at the flame of +his candle, slowly resumed: + +'The truth is, he has twice taken his daughter abroad in the hope of +separating her from Mr Gowan. He rather thinks she is disposed to like +him, and he has painful doubts (I quite agree with him, as I dare say +you do) of the hopefulness of such a marriage.' + +'There--' Clennam choked, and coughed, and stopped. + +'Yes, you have taken cold,' said Daniel Doyce. But without looking at +him. + +'--There is an engagement between them, of course?' said Clennam airily. + +'No. As I am told, certainly not. It has been solicited on the +gentleman's part, but none has been made. Since their recent return, +our friend has yielded to a weekly visit, but that is the utmost. Minnie +would not deceive her father and mother. You have travelled with them, +and I believe you know what a bond there is among them, extending even +beyond this present life. All that there is between Miss Minnie and Mr +Gowan, I have no doubt we see.' + +'Ah! We see enough!' cried Arthur. + +Mr Doyce wished him Good Night in the tone of a man who had heard a +mournful, not to say despairing, exclamation, and who sought to infuse +some encouragement and hope into the mind of the person by whom it had +been uttered. Such tone was probably a part of his oddity, as one of +a crotchety band; for how could he have heard anything of that kind, +without Clennam's hearing it too? + +The rain fell heavily on the roof, and pattered on the ground, and +dripped among the evergreens and the leafless branches of the trees. The +rain fell heavily, drearily. It was a night of tears. + +If Clennam had not decided against falling in love with Pet; if he +had had the weakness to do it; if he had, little by little, persuaded +himself to set all the earnestness of his nature, all the might of his +hope, and all the wealth of his matured character, on that cast; if +he had done this and found that all was lost; he would have been, +that night, unutterably miserable. As it was-- + +As it was, the rain fell heavily, drearily. + + + + +CHAPTER 18. Little Dorrit's Lover + + +Little Dorrit had not attained her twenty-second birthday without +finding a lover. Even in the shallow Marshalsea, the ever young Archer +shot off a few featherless arrows now and then from a mouldy bow, and +winged a Collegian or two. + +Little Dorrit's lover, however, was not a Collegian. He was the +sentimental son of a turnkey. His father hoped, in the fulness of time, +to leave him the inheritance of an unstained key; and had from his +early youth familiarised him with the duties of his office, and with an +ambition to retain the prison-lock in the family. While the succession +was yet in abeyance, he assisted his mother in the conduct of a snug +tobacco business round the corner of Horsemonger Lane (his father being +a non-resident turnkey), which could usually command a neat connection +within the College walls. + +Years agone, when the object of his affections was wont to sit in her +little arm-chair by the high Lodge-fender, Young John (family name, +Chivery), a year older than herself, had eyed her with admiring wonder. +When he had played with her in the yard, his favourite game had been to +counterfeit locking her up in corners, and to counterfeit letting +her out for real kisses. When he grew tall enough to peep through the +keyhole of the great lock of the main door, he had divers times set down +his father's dinner, or supper, to get on as it might on the outer side +thereof, while he stood taking cold in one eye by dint of peeping at her +through that airy perspective. + +If Young John had ever slackened in his truth in the less penetrable +days of his boyhood, when youth is prone to wear its boots unlaced and +is happily unconscious of digestive organs, he had soon strung it up +again and screwed it tight. At nineteen, his hand had inscribed in chalk +on that part of the wall which fronted her lodgings, on the occasion of +her birthday, 'Welcome sweet nursling of the Fairies!' At twenty-three, +the same hand falteringly presented cigars on Sundays to the Father of +the Marshalsea, and Father of the queen of his soul. + +Young John was small of stature, with rather weak legs and very weak +light hair. One of his eyes (perhaps the eye that used to peep through +the keyhole) was also weak, and looked larger than the other, as if +it couldn't collect itself. Young John was gentle likewise. But he was +great of soul. Poetical, expansive, faithful. + +Though too humble before the ruler of his heart to be sanguine, Young +John had considered the object of his attachment in all its lights and +shades. Following it out to blissful results, he had descried, without +self-commendation, a fitness in it. Say things prospered, and they were +united. She, the child of the Marshalsea; he, the lock-keeper. There +was a fitness in that. Say he became a resident turnkey. She would +officially succeed to the chamber she had rented so long. There was a +beautiful propriety in that. It looked over the wall, if you stood on +tip-toe; and, with a trellis-work of scarlet beans and a canary or so, +would become a very Arbour. There was a charming idea in that. Then, +being all in all to one another, there was even an appropriate grace in +the lock. With the world shut out (except that part of it which would +be shut in); with its troubles and disturbances only known to them by +hearsay, as they would be described by the pilgrims tarrying with them +on their way to the Insolvent Shrine; with the Arbour above, and the +Lodge below; they would glide down the stream of time, in pastoral +domestic happiness. Young John drew tears from his eyes by finishing the +picture with a tombstone in the adjoining churchyard, close against the +prison wall, bearing the following touching inscription: 'Sacred to +the Memory Of JOHN CHIVERY, Sixty years Turnkey, and fifty years +Head Turnkey, Of the neighbouring Marshalsea, Who departed this life, +universally respected, on the thirty-first of December, One thousand +eight hundred and eighty-six, Aged eighty-three years. Also of his truly +beloved and truly loving wife, AMY, whose maiden name was DORRIT, Who +survived his loss not quite forty-eight hours, And who breathed her last +in the Marshalsea aforesaid. There she was born, There she lived, There +she died.' + +The Chivery parents were not ignorant of their son's attachment--indeed +it had, on some exceptional occasions, thrown him into a state of mind +that had impelled him to conduct himself with irascibility towards the +customers, and damage the business--but they, in their turns, had worked +it out to desirable conclusions. Mrs Chivery, a prudent woman, had +desired her husband to take notice that their John's prospects of the +Lock would certainly be strengthened by an alliance with Miss Dorrit, +who had herself a kind of claim upon the College and was much respected +there. Mrs Chivery had desired her husband to take notice that if, on +the one hand, their John had means and a post of trust, on the other +hand, Miss Dorrit had family; and that her (Mrs Chivery's) sentiment +was, that two halves made a whole. Mrs Chivery, speaking as a mother and +not as a diplomatist, had then, from a different point of view, desired +her husband to recollect that their John had never been strong, and +that his love had fretted and worrited him enough as it was, without +his being driven to do himself a mischief, as nobody couldn't say +he wouldn't be if he was crossed. These arguments had so powerfully +influenced the mind of Mr Chivery, who was a man of few words, that he +had on sundry Sunday mornings, given his boy what he termed 'a lucky +touch,' signifying that he considered such commendation of him to Good +Fortune, preparatory to his that day declaring his passion and +becoming triumphant. But Young John had never taken courage to make +the declaration; and it was principally on these occasions that he had +returned excited to the tobacco shop, and flown at the customers. + +In this affair, as in every other, Little Dorrit herself was the last +person considered. Her brother and sister were aware of it, and attained +a sort of station by making a peg of it on which to air the miserably +ragged old fiction of the family gentility. Her sister asserted the +family gentility by flouting the poor swain as he loitered about the +prison for glimpses of his dear. Tip asserted the family gentility, and +his own, by coming out in the character of the aristocratic brother, and +loftily swaggering in the little skittle ground respecting seizures by +the scruff of the neck, which there were looming probabilities of some +gentleman unknown executing on some little puppy not mentioned. These +were not the only members of the Dorrit family who turned it to account. +No, no. The Father of the Marshalsea was supposed to know nothing about +the matter, of course: his poor dignity could not see so low. But he +took the cigars, on Sundays, and was glad to get them; and sometimes +even condescended to walk up and down the yard with the donor (who was +proud and hopeful then), and benignantly to smoke one in his society. +With no less readiness and condescension did he receive attentions from +Chivery Senior, who always relinquished his arm-chair and newspaper to +him, when he came into the Lodge during one of his spells of duty; and +who had even mentioned to him, that, if he would like at any time after +dusk quietly to step out into the fore-court and take a look at the +street, there was not much to prevent him. If he did not avail himself +of this latter civility, it was only because he had lost the relish for +it; inasmuch as he took everything else he could get, and would say at +times, 'Extremely civil person, Chivery; very attentive man and very +respectful. Young Chivery, too; really almost with a delicate perception +of one's position here. A very well conducted family indeed, the +Chiveries. Their behaviour gratifies me.' + +The devoted Young John all this time regarded the family with reverence. +He never dreamed of disputing their pretensions, but did homage to the +miserable Mumbo jumbo they paraded. As to resenting any affront from _her_ +brother, he would have felt, even if he had not naturally been of a most +pacific disposition, that to wag his tongue or lift his hand against +that sacred gentleman would be an unhallowed act. He was sorry that +his noble mind should take offence; still, he felt the fact to be not +incompatible with its nobility, and sought to propitiate and conciliate +that gallant soul. Her father, a gentleman in misfortune--a gentleman of +a fine spirit and courtly manners, who always bore with him--he deeply +honoured. Her sister he considered somewhat vain and proud, but a young +lady of infinite accomplishments, who could not forget the past. It was +an instinctive testimony to Little Dorrit's worth and difference from +all the rest, that the poor young fellow honoured and loved her for +being simply what she was. + +The tobacco business round the corner of Horsemonger Lane was carried +out in a rural establishment one story high, which had the benefit of +the air from the yards of Horsemonger Lane jail, and the advantage of a +retired walk under the wall of that pleasant establishment. The business +was of too modest a character to support a life-size Highlander, but it +maintained a little one on a bracket on the door-post, who looked like +a fallen Cherub that had found it necessary to take to a kilt. + +From the portal thus decorated, one Sunday after an early dinner of +baked viands, Young John issued forth on his usual Sunday errand; not +empty-handed, but with his offering of cigars. He was neatly attired in +a plum-coloured coat, with as large a collar of black velvet as his +figure could carry; a silken waistcoat, bedecked with golden sprigs; a +chaste neckerchief much in vogue at that day, representing a preserve of +lilac pheasants on a buff ground; pantaloons so highly decorated with +side-stripes that each leg was a three-stringed lute; and a hat of +state very high and hard. When the prudent Mrs Chivery perceived that +in addition to these adornments her John carried a pair of white kid +gloves, and a cane like a little finger-post, surmounted by an ivory +hand marshalling him the way that he should go; and when she saw him, in +this heavy marching order, turn the corner to the right; she remarked to +Mr Chivery, who was at home at the time, that she thought she knew which +way the wind blew. + +The Collegians were entertaining a considerable number of visitors that +Sunday afternoon, and their Father kept his room for the purpose of +receiving presentations. After making the tour of the yard, Little +Dorrit's lover with a hurried heart went up-stairs, and knocked with his +knuckles at the Father's door. + +'Come in, come in!' said a gracious voice. The Father's voice, her +father's, the Marshalsea's father's. He was seated in his black velvet +cap, with his newspaper, three-and-sixpence accidentally left on the +table, and two chairs arranged. Everything prepared for holding his +Court. + +'Ah, Young John! How do you do, how do you do!' + +'Pretty well, I thank you, sir. I hope you are the same.' + +'Yes, John Chivery; yes. Nothing to complain of.' + +'I have taken the liberty, sir, of--' + +'Eh?' The Father of the Marshalsea always lifted up his eyebrows at this +point, and became amiably distraught and smilingly absent in mind. + +'--A few cigars, sir.' + +'Oh!' (For the moment, excessively surprised.) 'Thank you, Young John, +thank you. But really, I am afraid I am too--No? Well then, I will say +no more about it. Put them on the mantelshelf, if you please, Young +John. And sit down, sit down. You are not a stranger, John.' + +'Thank you, sir, I am sure--Miss;' here Young John turned the great hat +round and round upon his left-hand, like a slowly twirling mouse-cage; +'Miss Amy quite well, sir?' + +'Yes, John, yes; very well. She is out.' + +'Indeed, sir?' + +'Yes, John. Miss Amy is gone for an airing. My young people all go out a +good deal. But at their time of life, it's natural, John.' + +'Very much so, I am sure, sir.' + +'An airing. An airing. Yes.' He was blandly tapping his fingers on +the table, and casting his eyes up at the window. 'Amy has gone for +an airing on the Iron Bridge. She has become quite partial to the Iron +Bridge of late, and seems to like to walk there better than anywhere.' +He returned to conversation. 'Your father is not on duty at present, I +think, John?' + +'No, sir, he comes on later in the afternoon.' Another twirl of the +great hat, and then Young John said, rising, 'I am afraid I must wish +you good day, sir.' + +'So soon? Good day, Young John. Nay, nay,' with the utmost +condescension, 'never mind your glove, John. Shake hands with it on. You +are no stranger here, you know.' + +Highly gratified by the kindness of his reception, Young John descended +the staircase. On his way down he met some Collegians bringing up +visitors to be presented, and at that moment Mr Dorrit happened to call +over the banisters with particular distinctness, 'Much obliged to you +for your little testimonial, John!' + +Little Dorrit's lover very soon laid down his penny on the tollplate of +the Iron Bridge, and came upon it looking about him for the well-known +and well-beloved figure. At first he feared she was not there; but as he +walked on towards the Middlesex side, he saw her standing still, looking +at the water. She was absorbed in thought, and he wondered what +she might be thinking about. There were the piles of city roofs and +chimneys, more free from smoke than on week-days; and there were the +distant masts and steeples. Perhaps she was thinking about them. + +Little Dorrit mused so long, and was so entirely preoccupied, that +although her lover stood quiet for what he thought was a long time, and +twice or thrice retired and came back again to the former spot, still +she did not move. So, in the end, he made up his mind to go on, and seem +to come upon her casually in passing, and speak to her. The place was +quiet, and now or never was the time to speak to her. + +He walked on, and she did not appear to hear his steps until he was +close upon her. When he said 'Miss Dorrit!' she started and fell back +from him, with an expression in her face of fright and something like +dislike that caused him unutterable dismay. She had often avoided him +before--always, indeed, for a long, long while. She had turned away and +glided off so often when she had seen him coming toward her, that the +unfortunate Young John could not think it accidental. But he had hoped +that it might be shyness, her retiring character, her foreknowledge of +the state of his heart, anything short of aversion. Now, that momentary +look had said, 'You, of all people! I would rather have seen any one on +earth than you!' + +It was but a momentary look, inasmuch as she checked it, and said in her +soft little voice, 'Oh, Mr John! Is it you?' But she felt what it had +been, as he felt what it had been; and they stood looking at one another +equally confused. + +'Miss Amy, I am afraid I disturbed you by speaking to you.' + +'Yes, rather. I--I came here to be alone, and I thought I was.' + +'Miss Amy, I took the liberty of walking this way, because Mr Dorrit +chanced to mention, when I called upon him just now, that you--' + +She caused him more dismay than before by suddenly murmuring, 'O father, +father!' in a heartrending tone, and turning her face away. + +'Miss Amy, I hope I don't give you any uneasiness by naming Mr Dorrit. +I assure you I found him very well and in the best of Spirits, and he +showed me even more than his usual kindness; being so very kind as to +say that I was not a stranger there, and in all ways gratifying me very +much.' + +To the inexpressible consternation of her lover, Little Dorrit, with her +hands to her averted face, and rocking herself where she stood as if she +were in pain, murmured, 'O father, how can you! O dear, dear father, how +can you, can you, do it!' + +The poor fellow stood gazing at her, overflowing with sympathy, but not +knowing what to make of this, until, having taken out her handkerchief +and put it to her still averted face, she hurried away. At first he +remained stock still; then hurried after her. + +'Miss Amy, pray! Will you have the goodness to stop a moment? Miss Amy, +if it comes to that, let _me_ go. I shall go out of my senses, if I have +to think that I have driven you away like this.' + +His trembling voice and unfeigned earnestness brought Little Dorrit to +a stop. 'Oh, I don't know what to do,' she cried, 'I don't know what to +do!' + +To Young John, who had never seen her bereft of her quiet self-command, +who had seen her from her infancy ever so reliable and self-suppressed, +there was a shock in her distress, and in having to associate himself +with it as its cause, that shook him from his great hat to the +pavement. He felt it necessary to explain himself. He might be +misunderstood--supposed to mean something, or to have done something, +that had never entered into his imagination. He begged her to hear him +explain himself, as the greatest favour she could show him. + +'Miss Amy, I know very well that your family is far above mine. It were +vain to conceal it. There never was a Chivery a gentleman that ever +I heard of, and I will not commit the meanness of making a false +representation on a subject so momentous. Miss Amy, I know very well +that your high-souled brother, and likewise your spirited sister, spurn +me from a height. What I have to do is to respect them, to wish to be +admitted to their friendship, to look up at the eminence on which they +are placed from my lowlier station--for, whether viewed as tobacco or +viewed as the lock, I well know it is lowly--and ever wish them well and +happy.' + +There really was a genuineness in the poor fellow, and a contrast +between the hardness of his hat and the softness of his heart (albeit, +perhaps, of his head, too), that was moving. Little Dorrit entreated him +to disparage neither himself nor his station, and, above all things, to +divest himself of any idea that she supposed hers to be superior. This +gave him a little comfort. + +'Miss Amy,' he then stammered, 'I have had for a long time--ages they +seem to me--Revolving ages--a heart-cherished wish to say something to +you. May I say it?' + +Little Dorrit involuntarily started from his side again, with the +faintest shadow of her former look; conquering that, she went on at +great speed half across the Bridge without replying! + +'May I--Miss Amy, I but ask the question humbly--may I say it? I have +been so unlucky already in giving you pain without having any such +intentions, before the holy Heavens! that there is no fear of my saying +it unless I have your leave. I can be miserable alone, I can be cut up +by myself, why should I also make miserable and cut up one that I would +fling myself off that parapet to give half a moment's joy to! Not that +that's much to do, for I'd do it for twopence.' + +The mournfulness of his spirits, and the gorgeousness of his appearance, +might have made him ridiculous, but that his delicacy made him +respectable. Little Dorrit learnt from it what to do. + +'If you please, John Chivery,' she returned, trembling, but in a quiet +way, 'since you are so considerate as to ask me whether you shall say +any more--if you please, no.' + +'Never, Miss Amy?' + +'No, if you please. Never.' + +'O Lord!' gasped Young John. + +'But perhaps you will let me, instead, say something to you. I want +to say it earnestly, and with as plain a meaning as it is possible to +express. When you think of us, John--I mean my brother, and sister, +and me--don't think of us as being any different from the rest; for, +whatever we once were (which I hardly know) we ceased to be long ago, +and never can be any more. It will be much better for you, and much +better for others, if you will do that instead of what you are doing +now.' + +Young John dolefully protested that he would try to bear it in mind, and +would be heartily glad to do anything she wished. + +'As to me,' said Little Dorrit, 'think as little of me as you can; the +less, the better. When you think of me at all, John, let it only be as +the child you have seen grow up in the prison with one set of duties +always occupying her; as a weak, retired, contented, unprotected girl. I +particularly want you to remember, that when I come outside the gate, I +am unprotected and solitary.' + +He would try to do anything she wished. But why did Miss Amy so much +want him to remember that? + +'Because,' returned Little Dorrit, 'I know I can then quite trust you +not to forget to-day, and not to say any more to me. You are so generous +that I know I can trust to you for that; and I do and I always will. I +am going to show you, at once, that I fully trust you. I like this place +where we are speaking better than any place I know;' her slight colour +had faded, but her lover thought he saw it coming back just then; 'and I +may be often here. I know it is only necessary for me to tell you so, to +be quite sure that you will never come here again in search of me. And I +am--quite sure!' + +She might rely upon it, said Young John. He was a miserable wretch, but +her word was more than a law for him. + +'And good-bye, John,' said Little Dorrit. 'And I hope you will have a +good wife one day, and be a happy man. I am sure you will deserve to be +happy, and you will be, John.' + +As she held out her hand to him with these words, the heart that was +under the waistcoat of sprigs--mere slop-work, if the truth must be +known--swelled to the size of the heart of a gentleman; and the poor +common little fellow, having no room to hold it, burst into tears. + +'Oh, don't cry,' said Little Dorrit piteously. 'Don't, don't! Good-bye, +John. God bless you!' + +'Good-bye, Miss Amy. Good-bye!' + +And so he left her: first observing that she sat down on the corner of a +seat, and not only rested her little hand upon the rough wall, but laid +her face against it too, as if her head were heavy, and her mind were +sad. + +It was an affecting illustration of the fallacy of human projects, +to behold her lover, with the great hat pulled over his eyes, the velvet +collar turned up as if it rained, the plum-coloured coat buttoned +to conceal the silken waistcoat of golden sprigs, and the little +direction-post pointing inexorably home, creeping along by the worst +back-streets, and composing, as he went, the following new inscription +for a tombstone in St George's Churchyard: + +'Here lie the mortal remains Of JOHN CHIVERY, Never anything worth +mentioning, Who died about the end of the year one thousand eight +hundred and twenty-six, Of a broken heart, Requesting with his last +breath that the word AMY might be inscribed over his ashes, which was +accordingly directed to be done, By his afflicted Parents.' + + + + +CHAPTER 19. The Father of the Marshalsea in two or three Relations + + +The brothers William and Frederick Dorrit, walking up and down the +College-yard--of course on the aristocratic or Pump side, for the Father +made it a point of his state to be chary of going among his children +on the Poor side, except on Sunday mornings, Christmas Days, and other +occasions of ceremony, in the observance whereof he was very punctual, +and at which times he laid his hand upon the heads of their infants, +and blessed those young insolvents with a benignity that was highly +edifying--the brothers, walking up and down the College-yard together, +were a memorable sight. Frederick the free, was so humbled, bowed, +withered, and faded; William the bond, was so courtly, condescending, +and benevolently conscious of a position; that in this regard only, if +in no other, the brothers were a spectacle to wonder at. + +They walked up and down the yard on the evening of Little Dorrit's +Sunday interview with her lover on the Iron Bridge. The cares of state +were over for that day, the Drawing Room had been well attended, several +new presentations had taken place, the three-and-sixpence accidentally +left on the table had accidentally increased to twelve shillings, and +the Father of the Marshalsea refreshed himself with a whiff of cigar. As +he walked up and down, affably accommodating his step to the shuffle of +his brother, not proud in his superiority, but considerate of that poor +creature, bearing with him, and breathing toleration of his infirmities +in every little puff of smoke that issued from his lips and aspired to +get over the spiked wall, he was a sight to wonder at. + +His brother Frederick of the dim eye, palsied hand, bent form, and +groping mind, submissively shuffled at his side, accepting his patronage +as he accepted every incident of the labyrinthian world in which he had +got lost. He held the usual screwed bit of whitey-brown paper in his +hand, from which he ever and again unscrewed a spare pinch of snuff. +That falteringly taken, he would glance at his brother not unadmiringly, +put his hands behind him, and shuffle on so at his side until he took +another pinch, or stood still to look about him--perchance suddenly +missing his clarionet. + +The College visitors were melting away as the shades of night drew on, +but the yard was still pretty full, the Collegians being mostly out, +seeing their friends to the Lodge. As the brothers paced the yard, +William the bond looked about him to receive salutes, returned them by +graciously lifting off his hat, and, with an engaging air, prevented +Frederick the free from running against the company, or being jostled +against the wall. The Collegians as a body were not easily impressible, +but even they, according to their various ways of wondering, appeared to +find in the two brothers a sight to wonder at. + +'You are a little low this evening, Frederick,' said the Father of the +Marshalsea. 'Anything the matter?' + +'The matter?' He stared for a moment, and then dropped his head and eyes +again. 'No, William, no. Nothing is the matter.' + +'If you could be persuaded to smarten yourself up a little, Frederick--' + +'Aye, aye!' said the old man hurriedly. 'But I can't be. I can't be. +Don't talk so. That's all over.' + +The Father of the Marshalsea glanced at a passing Collegian with whom he +was on friendly terms, as who should say, 'An enfeebled old man, this; +but he is my brother, sir, my brother, and the voice of Nature is +potent!' and steered his brother clear of the handle of the pump by the +threadbare sleeve. Nothing would have been wanting to the perfection of +his character as a fraternal guide, philosopher and friend, if he had +only steered his brother clear of ruin, instead of bringing it upon him. + +'I think, William,' said the object of his affectionate consideration, +'that I am tired, and will go home to bed.' + +'My dear Frederick,' returned the other, 'don't let me detain you; don't +sacrifice your inclination to me.' + +'Late hours, and a heated atmosphere, and years, I suppose,' said +Frederick, 'weaken me.' + +'My dear Frederick,' returned the Father of the Marshalsea, 'do you +think you are sufficiently careful of yourself? Do you think your habits +are as precise and methodical as--shall I say as mine are? Not to revert +again to that little eccentricity which I mentioned just now, I doubt if +you take air and exercise enough, Frederick. Here is the parade, always +at your service. Why not use it more regularly than you do?' + +'Hah!' sighed the other. 'Yes, yes, yes, yes.' + +'But it is of no use saying yes, yes, my dear Frederick,' the Father +of the Marshalsea in his mild wisdom persisted, 'unless you act on that +assent. Consider my case, Frederick. I am a kind of example. Necessity +and time have taught me what to do. At certain stated hours of the day, +you will find me on the parade, in my room, in the Lodge, reading the +paper, receiving company, eating and drinking. I have impressed upon Amy +during many years, that I must have my meals (for instance) punctually. +Amy has grown up in a sense of the importance of these arrangements, and +you know what a good girl she is.' + +The brother only sighed again, as he plodded dreamily along, 'Hah! Yes, +yes, yes, yes.' + +'My dear fellow,' said the Father of the Marshalsea, laying his hand +upon his shoulder, and mildly rallying him--mildly, because of his +weakness, poor dear soul; 'you said that before, and it does not express +much, Frederick, even if it means much. I wish I could rouse you, my +good Frederick; you want to be roused.' + +'Yes, William, yes. No doubt,' returned the other, lifting his dim eyes +to his face. 'But I am not like you.' + +The Father of the Marshalsea said, with a shrug of modest +self-depreciation, 'Oh! You might be like me, my dear Frederick; +you might be, if you chose!' and forbore, in the magnanimity of his +strength, to press his fallen brother further. + +There was a great deal of leave-taking going on in corners, as was usual +on Sunday nights; and here and there in the dark, some poor woman, wife +or mother, was weeping with a new Collegian. The time had been when the +Father himself had wept, in the shades of that yard, as his own +poor wife had wept. But it was many years ago; and now he was like +a passenger aboard ship in a long voyage, who has recovered from +sea-sickness, and is impatient of that weakness in the fresher +passengers taken aboard at the last port. He was inclined to +remonstrate, and to express his opinion that people who couldn't get on +without crying, had no business there. In manner, if not in words, he +always testified his displeasure at these interruptions of the general +harmony; and it was so well understood, that delinquents usually +withdrew if they were aware of him. + +On this Sunday evening, he accompanied his brother to the gate with an +air of endurance and clemency; being in a bland temper and graciously +disposed to overlook the tears. In the flaring gaslight of the Lodge, +several Collegians were basking; some taking leave of visitors, and +some who had no visitors, watching the frequent turning of the key, and +conversing with one another and with Mr Chivery. The paternal entrance +made a sensation of course; and Mr Chivery, touching his hat (in a short +manner though) with his key, hoped he found himself tolerable. + +'Thank you, Chivery, quite well. And you?' + +Mr Chivery said in a low growl, 'Oh! _he_ was all right.' Which was his +general way of acknowledging inquiries after his health when a little +sullen. + +'I had a visit from Young John to-day, Chivery. And very smart he +looked, I assure you.' + +So Mr Chivery had heard. Mr Chivery must confess, however, that his wish +was that the boy didn't lay out so much money upon it. For what did it +bring him in? It only brought him in wexation. And he could get that +anywhere for nothing. + +'How vexation, Chivery?' asked the benignant father. + +'No odds,' returned Mr Chivery. 'Never mind. Mr Frederick going out?' + +'Yes, Chivery, my brother is going home to bed. He is tired, and +not quite well. Take care, Frederick, take care. Good night, my dear +Frederick!' + +Shaking hands with his brother, and touching his greasy hat to the +company in the Lodge, Frederick slowly shuffled out of the door which +Mr Chivery unlocked for him. The Father of the Marshalsea showed the +amiable solicitude of a superior being that he should come to no harm. + +'Be so kind as to keep the door open a moment, Chivery, that I may see +him go along the passage and down the steps. Take care, Frederick! (He +is very infirm.) Mind the steps! (He is so very absent.) Be careful +how you cross, Frederick. (I really don't like the notion of his going +wandering at large, he is so extremely liable to be run over.)' + +With these words, and with a face expressive of many uneasy doubts and +much anxious guardianship, he turned his regards upon the assembled +company in the Lodge: so plainly indicating that his brother was to be +pitied for not being under lock and key, that an opinion to that effect +went round among the Collegians assembled. + +But he did not receive it with unqualified assent; on the contrary, he +said, No, gentlemen, no; let them not misunderstand him. His brother +Frederick was much broken, no doubt, and it might be more comfortable to +himself (the Father of the Marshalsea) to know that he was safe within +the walls. Still, it must be remembered that to support an existence +there during many years, required a certain combination of qualities--he +did not say high qualities, but qualities--moral qualities. Now, had his +brother Frederick that peculiar union of qualities? Gentlemen, he was a +most excellent man, a most gentle, tender, and estimable man, with the +simplicity of a child; but would he, though unsuited for most other +places, do for that place? No; he said confidently, no! And, he said, +Heaven forbid that Frederick should be there in any other character +than in his present voluntary character! Gentlemen, whoever came to +that College, to remain there a length of time, must have strength of +character to go through a good deal and to come out of a good deal. Was +his beloved brother Frederick that man? No. They saw him, even as it +was, crushed. Misfortune crushed him. He had not power of recoil enough, +not elasticity enough, to be a long time in such a place, and yet +preserve his self-respect and feel conscious that he was a gentleman. +Frederick had not (if he might use the expression) Power enough to see +in any delicate little attentions and--and--Testimonials that he might +under such circumstances receive, the goodness of human nature, the fine +spirit animating the Collegians as a community, and at the same time +no degradation to himself, and no depreciation of his claims as a +gentleman. Gentlemen, God bless you! + +Such was the homily with which he improved and pointed the occasion to +the company in the Lodge before turning into the sallow yard again, +and going with his own poor shabby dignity past the Collegian in the +dressing-gown who had no coat, and past the Collegian in the sea-side +slippers who had no shoes, and past the stout greengrocer Collegian in +the corduroy knee-breeches who had no cares, and past the lean clerk +Collegian in buttonless black who had no hopes, up his own poor shabby +staircase to his own poor shabby room. + +There, the table was laid for his supper, and his old grey gown was +ready for him on his chair-back at the fire. His daughter put her +little prayer-book in her pocket--had she been praying for pity on all +prisoners and captives!--and rose to welcome him. + +Uncle had gone home, then? she asked him, as she changed his coat and +gave him his black velvet cap. Yes, uncle had gone home. Had her father +enjoyed his walk? Why, not much, Amy; not much. No! Did he not feel +quite well? + +As she stood behind him, leaning over his chair so lovingly, he looked +with downcast eyes at the fire. An uneasiness stole over him that was +like a touch of shame; and when he spoke, as he presently did, it was in +an unconnected and embarrassed manner. + +'Something, I--hem!--I don't know what, has gone wrong with Chivery. +He is not--ha!--not nearly so obliging and attentive as usual to-night. +It--hem!--it's a little thing, but it puts me out, my love. It's +impossible to forget,' turning his hands over and over and looking +closely at them, 'that--hem!--that in such a life as mine, I am +unfortunately dependent on these men for something every hour in the +day.' + +Her arm was on his shoulder, but she did not look in his face while he +spoke. Bending her head she looked another way. + +'I--hem!--I can't think, Amy, what has given Chivery offence. He is +generally so--so very attentive and respectful. And to-night he was +quite--quite short with me. Other people there too! Why, good Heaven! +if I was to lose the support and recognition of Chivery and his brother +officers, I might starve to death here.' While he spoke, he was opening +and shutting his hands like valves; so conscious all the time of that +touch of shame, that he shrunk before his own knowledge of his meaning. + +'I--ha!--I can't think what it's owing to. I am sure I cannot imagine +what the cause of it is. There was a certain Jackson here once, a +turnkey of the name of Jackson (I don't think you can remember him, +my dear, you were very young), and--hem!--and he had a--brother, and +this--young brother paid his addresses to--at least, did not go so far +as to pay his addresses to--but admired--respectfully admired--the--not +daughter, the sister--of one of us; a rather distinguished Collegian; I +may say, very much so. His name was Captain Martin; and he +consulted me on the question whether it was necessary that his +daughter--sister--should hazard offending the turnkey brother by +being too--ha!--too plain with the other brother. Captain Martin was +a gentleman and a man of honour, and I put it to him first to give me +his--his own opinion. Captain Martin (highly respected in the army) then +unhesitatingly said that it appeared to him that his--hem!--sister was +not called upon to understand the young man too distinctly, and that +she might lead him on--I am doubtful whether "lead him on" was Captain +Martin's exact expression: indeed I think he said tolerate him--on her +father's--I should say, brother's--account. I hardly know how I have +strayed into this story. I suppose it has been through being unable to +account for Chivery; but as to the connection between the two, I don't +see--' + +His voice died away, as if she could not bear the pain of hearing him, +and her hand had gradually crept to his lips. For a little while there +was a dead silence and stillness; and he remained shrunk in his chair, +and she remained with her arm round his neck and her head bowed down +upon his shoulder. + +His supper was cooking in a saucepan on the fire, and, when she moved, +it was to make it ready for him on the table. He took his usual seat, +she took hers, and he began his meal. They did not, as yet, look at one +another. By little and little he began; laying down his knife and fork +with a noise, taking things up sharply, biting at his bread as if he +were offended with it, and in other similar ways showing that he was out +of sorts. At length he pushed his plate from him, and spoke aloud; with +the strangest inconsistency. + +'What does it matter whether I eat or starve? What does it matter +whether such a blighted life as mine comes to an end, now, next week, or +next year? What am I worth to anyone? A poor prisoner, fed on alms and +broken victuals; a squalid, disgraced wretch!' + +'Father, father!' As he rose she went on her knees to him, and held up +her hands to him. + +'Amy,' he went on in a suppressed voice, trembling violently, and +looking at her as wildly as if he had gone mad. 'I tell you, if you +could see me as your mother saw me, you wouldn't believe it to be the +creature you have only looked at through the bars of this cage. I was +young, I was accomplished, I was good-looking, I was independent--by God +I was, child!--and people sought me out, and envied me. Envied me!' + +'Dear father!' She tried to take down the shaking arm that he flourished +in the air, but he resisted, and put her hand away. + +'If I had but a picture of myself in those days, though it was ever so +ill done, you would be proud of it, you would be proud of it. But I have +no such thing. Now, let me be a warning! Let no man,' he cried, looking +haggardly about, 'fail to preserve at least that little of the times of +his prosperity and respect. Let his children have that clue to what he +was. Unless my face, when I am dead, subsides into the long departed +look--they say such things happen, I don't know--my children will have +never seen me.' + +'Father, father!' + +'O despise me, despise me! Look away from me, don't listen to me, stop +me, blush for me, cry for me--even you, Amy! Do it, do it! I do it to +myself! I am hardened now, I have sunk too low to care long even for +that.' + +'Dear father, loved father, darling of my heart!' She was clinging to +him with her arms, and she got him to drop into his chair again, and +caught at the raised arm, and tried to put it round her neck. + +'Let it lie there, father. Look at me, father, kiss me, father! Only +think of me, father, for one little moment!' + +Still he went on in the same wild way, though it was gradually breaking +down into a miserable whining. + +'And yet I have some respect here. I have made some stand against it. I +am not quite trodden down. Go out and ask who is the chief person in the +place. They'll tell you it's your father. Go out and ask who is never +trifled with, and who is always treated with some delicacy. They'll say, +your father. Go out and ask what funeral here (it must be here, I know +it can be nowhere else) will make more talk, and perhaps more grief, +than any that has ever gone out at the gate. They'll say your father's. +Well then. Amy! Amy! Is your father so universally despised? Is there +nothing to redeem him? Will you have nothing to remember him by but his +ruin and decay? Will you be able to have no affection for him when he is +gone, poor castaway, gone?' + +He burst into tears of maudlin pity for himself, and at length suffering +her to embrace him and take charge of him, let his grey head rest +against her cheek, and bewailed his wretchedness. Presently he changed +the subject of his lamentations, and clasping his hands about her as she +embraced him, cried, O Amy, his motherless, forlorn child! O the days +that he had seen her careful and laborious for him! Then he reverted to +himself, and weakly told her how much better she would have loved him +if she had known him in his vanished character, and how he would have +married her to a gentleman who should have been proud of her as his +daughter, and how (at which he cried again) she should first have ridden +at his fatherly side on her own horse, and how the crowd (by which he +meant in effect the people who had given him the twelve shillings +he then had in his pocket) should have trudged the dusty roads +respectfully. + +Thus, now boasting, now despairing, in either fit a captive with the +jail-rot upon him, and the impurity of his prison worn into the grain of +his soul, he revealed his degenerate state to his affectionate child. +No one else ever beheld him in the details of his humiliation. Little +recked the Collegians who were laughing in their rooms over his late +address in the Lodge, what a serious picture they had in their obscure +gallery of the Marshalsea that Sunday night. + +There was a classical daughter once--perhaps--who ministered to her +father in his prison as her mother had ministered to her. Little Dorrit, +though of the unheroic modern stock and mere English, did much more, +in comforting her father's wasted heart upon her innocent breast, and +turning to it a fountain of love and fidelity that never ran dry or +waned through all his years of famine. + +She soothed him; asked him for his forgiveness if she had been, or +seemed to have been, undutiful; told him, Heaven knows truly, that she +could not honour him more if he were the favourite of Fortune and the +whole world acknowledged him. When his tears were dried, and he sobbed +in his weakness no longer, and was free from that touch of shame, and +had recovered his usual bearing, she prepared the remains of his supper +afresh, and, sitting by his side, rejoiced to see him eat and drink. For +now he sat in his black velvet cap and old grey gown, magnanimous again; +and would have comported himself towards any Collegian who might have +looked in to ask his advice, like a great moral Lord Chesterfield, or +Master of the ethical ceremonies of the Marshalsea. + +To keep his attention engaged, she talked with him about his wardrobe; +when he was pleased to say, that Yes, indeed, those shirts she proposed +would be exceedingly acceptable, for those he had were worn out, and, +being ready-made, had never fitted him. Being conversational, and in a +reasonable flow of spirits, he then invited her attention to his coat +as it hung behind the door: remarking that the Father of the place +would set an indifferent example to his children, already disposed to be +slovenly, if he went among them out at elbows. He was jocular, too, +as to the heeling of his shoes; but became grave on the subject of his +cravat, and promised her that, when she could afford it, she should buy +him a new one. + +While he smoked out his cigar in peace, she made his bed, and put the +small room in order for his repose. Being weary then, owing to the +advanced hour and his emotions, he came out of his chair to bless her +and wish her Good night. All this time he had never once thought of _her_ +dress, her shoes, her need of anything. No other person upon earth, save +herself, could have been so unmindful of her wants. + +He kissed her many times with 'Bless you, my love. Good night, my dear!' + +But her gentle breast had been so deeply wounded by what she had seen of +him that she was unwilling to leave him alone, lest he should lament +and despair again. 'Father, dear, I am not tired; let me come back +presently, when you are in bed, and sit by you.' + +He asked her, with an air of protection, if she felt solitary? + +'Yes, father.' + +'Then come back by all means, my love.' + +'I shall be very quiet, father.' + +'Don't think of me, my dear,' he said, giving her his kind permission +fully. 'Come back by all means.' + +He seemed to be dozing when she returned, and she put the low fire +together very softly lest she should awake him. But he overheard her, +and called out who was that? + +'Only Amy, father.' + +'Amy, my child, come here. I want to say a word to you.' + +He raised himself a little in his low bed, as she kneeled beside it to +bring her face near him; and put his hand between hers. O! Both the +private father and the Father of the Marshalsea were strong within him +then. + +'My love, you have had a life of hardship here. No companions, no +recreations, many cares I am afraid?' + +'Don't think of that, dear. I never do.' + +'You know my position, Amy. I have not been able to do much for you; but +all I have been able to do, I have done.' + +'Yes, my dear father,' she rejoined, kissing him. 'I know, I know.' + +'I am in the twenty-third year of my life here,' he said, with a catch +in his breath that was not so much a sob as an irrepressible sound of +self-approval, the momentary outburst of a noble consciousness. 'It is +all I could do for my children--I have done it. Amy, my love, you are +by far the best loved of the three; I have had you principally in my +mind--whatever I have done for your sake, my dear child, I have done +freely and without murmuring.' + +Only the wisdom that holds the clue to all hearts and all mysteries, can +surely know to what extent a man, especially a man brought down as this +man had been, can impose upon himself. Enough, for the present place, +that he lay down with wet eyelashes, serene, in a manner majestic, after +bestowing his life of degradation as a sort of portion on the devoted +child upon whom its miseries had fallen so heavily, and whose love alone +had saved him to be even what he was. + +That child had no doubts, asked herself no question, for she was but too +content to see him with a lustre round his head. Poor dear, good dear, +truest, kindest, dearest, were the only words she had for him, as she +hushed him to rest. + +She never left him all that night. As if she had done him a wrong which +her tenderness could hardly repair, she sat by him in his sleep, at +times softly kissing him with suspended breath, and calling him in a +whisper by some endearing name. At times she stood aside so as not to +intercept the low fire-light, and, watching him when it fell upon his +sleeping face, wondered did he look now at all as he had looked when he +was prosperous and happy; as he had so touched her by imagining that he +might look once more in that awful time. At the thought of that time, +she kneeled beside his bed again, and prayed, 'O spare his life! O +save him to me! O look down upon my dear, long-suffering, unfortunate, +much-changed, dear dear father!' + +Not until the morning came to protect him and encourage him, did she +give him a last kiss and leave the small room. When she had stolen +down-stairs, and along the empty yard, and had crept up to her own +high garret, the smokeless housetops and the distant country hills were +discernible over the wall in the clear morning. As she gently opened the +window, and looked eastward down the prison yard, the spikes upon the +wall were tipped with red, then made a sullen purple pattern on the sun +as it came flaming up into the heavens. The spikes had never looked so +sharp and cruel, nor the bars so heavy, nor the prison space so gloomy +and contracted. She thought of the sunrise on rolling rivers, of the +sunrise on wide seas, of the sunrise on rich landscapes, of the +sunrise on great forests where the birds were waking and the trees were +rustling; and she looked down into the living grave on which the sun +had risen, with her father in it three-and-twenty years, and said, in +a burst of sorrow and compassion, 'No, no, I have never seen him in my +life!' + + + + +CHAPTER 20. Moving in Society + + +If Young John Chivery had had the inclination and the power to write a +satire on family pride, he would have had no need to go for an avenging +illustration out of the family of his beloved. He would have found it +amply in that gallant brother and that dainty sister, so steeped in mean +experiences, and so loftily conscious of the family name; so ready +to beg or borrow from the poorest, to eat of anybody's bread, spend +anybody's money, drink from anybody's cup and break it afterwards. +To have painted the sordid facts of their lives, and they throughout +invoking the death's head apparition of the family gentility to come and +scare their benefactors, would have made Young John a satirist of the +first water. + +Tip had turned his liberty to hopeful account by becoming a +billiard-marker. He had troubled himself so little as to the means of +his release, that Clennam scarcely needed to have been at the pains of +impressing the mind of Mr Plornish on that subject. Whoever had paid +him the compliment, he very readily accepted the compliment with _his_ +compliments, and there was an end of it. Issuing forth from the gate +on these easy terms, he became a billiard-marker; and now occasionally +looked in at the little skittle-ground in a green Newmarket coat +(second-hand), with a shining collar and bright buttons (new), and drank +the beer of the Collegians. + +One solid stationary point in the looseness of this gentleman's +character was, that he respected and admired his sister Amy. The feeling +had never induced him to spare her a moment's uneasiness, or to put +himself to any restraint or inconvenience on her account; but with that +Marshalsea taint upon his love, he loved her. The same rank Marshalsea +flavour was to be recognised in his distinctly perceiving that she +sacrificed her life to her father, and in his having no idea that she +had done anything for himself. + +When this spirited young man and his sister had begun systematically +to produce the family skeleton for the overawing of the College, this +narrative cannot precisely state. Probably at about the period when +they began to dine on the College charity. It is certain that the more +reduced and necessitous they were, the more pompously the skeleton +emerged from its tomb; and that when there was anything particularly +shabby in the wind, the skeleton always came out with the ghastliest +flourish. + +Little Dorrit was late on the Monday morning, for her father slept +late, and afterwards there was his breakfast to prepare and his room to +arrange. She had no engagement to go out to work, however, and therefore +stayed with him until, with Maggy's help, she had put everything right +about him, and had seen him off upon his morning walk (of twenty yards +or so) to the coffee-house to read the paper. She then got on her bonnet +and went out, having been anxious to get out much sooner. There was, as +usual, a cessation of the small-talk in the Lodge as she passed through +it; and a Collegian who had come in on Saturday night, received the +intimation from the elbow of a more seasoned Collegian, 'Look out. Here +she is!' + +She wanted to see her sister, but when she got round to Mr Cripples's, +she found that both her sister and her uncle had gone to the theatre +where they were engaged. Having taken thought of this probability by +the way, and having settled that in such case she would follow them, she +set off afresh for the theatre, which was on that side of the river, and +not very far away. + +Little Dorrit was almost as ignorant of the ways of theatres as of the +ways of gold mines, and when she was directed to a furtive sort of door, +with a curious up-all-night air about it, that appeared to be ashamed of +itself and to be hiding in an alley, she hesitated to approach it; being +further deterred by the sight of some half-dozen close-shaved gentlemen +with their hats very strangely on, who were lounging about the door, +looking not at all unlike Collegians. On her applying to them, reassured +by this resemblance, for a direction to Miss Dorrit, they made way for +her to enter a dark hall--it was more like a great grim lamp gone out +than anything else--where she could hear the distant playing of music +and the sound of dancing feet. A man so much in want of airing that he +had a blue mould upon him, sat watching this dark place from a hole in +a corner, like a spider; and he told her that he would send a message +up to Miss Dorrit by the first lady or gentleman who went through. The +first lady who went through had a roll of music, half in her muff and +half out of it, and was in such a tumbled condition altogether, that it +seemed as if it would be an act of kindness to iron her. But as she was +very good-natured, and said, 'Come with me; I'll soon find Miss Dorrit +for you,' Miss Dorrit's sister went with her, drawing nearer and nearer +at every step she took in the darkness to the sound of music and the +sound of dancing feet. + +At last they came into a maze of dust, where a quantity of people were +tumbling over one another, and where there was such a confusion of +unaccountable shapes of beams, bulkheads, brick walls, ropes, and +rollers, and such a mixing of gaslight and daylight, that they seemed +to have got on the wrong side of the pattern of the universe. Little +Dorrit, left to herself, and knocked against by somebody every moment, +was quite bewildered, when she heard her sister's voice. + +'Why, good gracious, Amy, what ever brought you here?' + +'I wanted to see you, Fanny dear; and as I am going out all day +to-morrow, and knew you might be engaged all day to-day, I thought--' + +'But the idea, Amy, of _you_ coming behind! I never did!' As her sister +said this in no very cordial tone of welcome, she conducted her to a +more open part of the maze, where various golden chairs and tables were +heaped together, and where a number of young ladies were sitting on +anything they could find, chattering. All these young ladies wanted +ironing, and all had a curious way of looking everywhere while they +chattered. + +Just as the sisters arrived here, a monotonous boy in a Scotch cap put +his head round a beam on the left, and said, 'Less noise there, ladies!' +and disappeared. Immediately after which, a sprightly gentleman with a +quantity of long black hair looked round a beam on the right, and said, +'Less noise there, darlings!' and also disappeared. + +'The notion of you among professionals, Amy, is really the last thing +I could have conceived!' said her sister. 'Why, how did you ever get +here?' + +'I don't know. The lady who told you I was here, was so good as to bring +me in.' + +'Like you quiet little things! You can make your way anywhere, I +believe. _I_ couldn't have managed it, Amy, though I know so much more of +the world.' + +It was the family custom to lay it down as family law, that she was a +plain domestic little creature, without the great and sage experience of +the rest. This family fiction was the family assertion of itself against +her services. Not to make too much of them. + +'Well! And what have you got on your mind, Amy? Of course you have +got something on your mind about me?' said Fanny. She spoke as if her +sister, between two and three years her junior, were her prejudiced +grandmother. + +'It is not much; but since you told me of the lady who gave you the +bracelet, Fanny--' + +The monotonous boy put his head round the beam on the left, and said, +'Look out there, ladies!' and disappeared. The sprightly gentleman with +the black hair as suddenly put his head round the beam on the right, and +said, 'Look out there, darlings!' and also disappeared. Thereupon all +the young ladies rose and began shaking their skirts out behind. + +'Well, Amy?' said Fanny, doing as the rest did; 'what were you going to +say?' + +'Since you told me a lady had given you the bracelet you showed me, +Fanny, I have not been quite easy on your account, and indeed want to +know a little more if you will confide more to me.' + +'Now, ladies!' said the boy in the Scotch cap. 'Now, darlings!' said the +gentleman with the black hair. They were every one gone in a moment, and +the music and the dancing feet were heard again. + +Little Dorrit sat down in a golden chair, made quite giddy by these +rapid interruptions. Her sister and the rest were a long time gone; and +during their absence a voice (it appeared to be that of the gentleman +with the black hair) was continually calling out through the music, +'One, two, three, four, five, six--go! One, two, three, four, five, +six--go! Steady, darlings! One, two, three, four, five, six--go!' +Ultimately the voice stopped, and they all came back again, more or less +out of breath, folding themselves in their shawls, and making ready +for the streets. 'Stop a moment, Amy, and let them get away before +us,' whispered Fanny. They were soon left alone; nothing more important +happening, in the meantime, than the boy looking round his old beam, and +saying, 'Everybody at eleven to-morrow, ladies!' and the gentleman with +the black hair looking round his old beam, and saying, 'Everybody at +eleven to-morrow, darlings!' each in his own accustomed manner. + +When they were alone, something was rolled up or by other means got out +of the way, and there was a great empty well before them, looking down +into the depths of which Fanny said, 'Now, uncle!' Little Dorrit, as her +eyes became used to the darkness, faintly made him out at the bottom of +the well, in an obscure corner by himself, with his instrument in its +ragged case under his arm. + +The old man looked as if the remote high gallery windows, with their +little strip of sky, might have been the point of his better fortunes, +from which he had descended, until he had gradually sunk down below +there to the bottom. He had been in that place six nights a week for +many years, but had never been observed to raise his eyes above his +music-book, and was confidently believed to have never seen a play. +There were legends in the place that he did not so much as know the +popular heroes and heroines by sight, and that the low comedian had +'mugged' at him in his richest manner fifty nights for a wager, and he +had shown no trace of consciousness. The carpenters had a joke to the +effect that he was dead without being aware of it; and the frequenters +of the pit supposed him to pass his whole life, night and day, and +Sunday and all, in the orchestra. They had tried him a few times with +pinches of snuff offered over the rails, and he had always responded to +this attention with a momentary waking up of manner that had the pale +phantom of a gentleman in it: beyond this he never, on any occasion, had +any other part in what was going on than the part written out for the +clarionet; in private life, where there was no part for the clarionet, +he had no part at all. Some said he was poor, some said he was a wealthy +miser; but he said nothing, never lifted up his bowed head, never varied +his shuffling gait by getting his springless foot from the ground. +Though expecting now to be summoned by his niece, he did not hear her +until she had spoken to him three or four times; nor was he at all +surprised by the presence of two nieces instead of one, but merely said +in his tremulous voice, 'I am coming, I am coming!' and crept forth by +some underground way which emitted a cellarous smell. + +'And so, Amy,' said her sister, when the three together passed out at +the door that had such a shame-faced consciousness of being different +from other doors: the uncle instinctively taking Amy's arm as the arm to +be relied on: 'so, Amy, you are curious about me?' + +She was pretty, and conscious, and rather flaunting; and the +condescension with which she put aside the superiority of her charms, +and of her worldly experience, and addressed her sister on almost equal +terms, had a vast deal of the family in it. + +'I am interested, Fanny, and concerned in anything that concerns you.' + +'So you are, so you are, and you are the best of Amys. If I am ever a +little provoking, I am sure you'll consider what a thing it is to +occupy my position and feel a consciousness of being superior to it. I +shouldn't care,' said the Daughter of the Father of the Marshalsea, 'if +the others were not so common. None of them have come down in the world +as we have. They are all on their own level. Common.' + +Little Dorrit mildly looked at the speaker, but did not interrupt her. +Fanny took out her handkerchief, and rather angrily wiped her eyes. 'I +was not born where you were, you know, Amy, and perhaps that makes a +difference. My dear child, when we get rid of Uncle, you shall know all +about it. We'll drop him at the cook's shop where he is going to dine.' + +They walked on with him until they came to a dirty shop window in a +dirty street, which was made almost opaque by the steam of hot meats, +vegetables, and puddings. But glimpses were to be caught of a roast leg +of pork bursting into tears of sage and onion in a metal reservoir full +of gravy, of an unctuous piece of roast beef and blisterous Yorkshire +pudding, bubbling hot in a similar receptacle, of a stuffed fillet of +veal in rapid cut, of a ham in a perspiration with the pace it was going +at, of a shallow tank of baked potatoes glued together by their own +richness, of a truss or two of boiled greens, and other substantial +delicacies. Within, were a few wooden partitions, behind which such +customers as found it more convenient to take away their dinners in +stomachs than in their hands, Packed their purchases in solitude. Fanny +opening her reticule, as they surveyed these things, produced from that +repository a shilling and handed it to Uncle. Uncle, after not looking +at it a little while, divined its object, and muttering 'Dinner? Ha! +Yes, yes, yes!' slowly vanished from them into the mist. + +'Now, Amy,' said her sister, 'come with me, if you are not too tired to +walk to Harley Street, Cavendish Square.' + +The air with which she threw off this distinguished address and the toss +she gave to her new bonnet (which was more gauzy than serviceable), made +her sister wonder; however, she expressed her readiness to go to Harley +Street, and thither they directed their steps. Arrived at that grand +destination, Fanny singled out the handsomest house, and knocking at the +door, inquired for Mrs Merdle. The footman who opened the door, although +he had powder on his head and was backed up by two other footmen +likewise powdered, not only admitted Mrs Merdle to be at home, but asked +Fanny to walk in. Fanny walked in, taking her sister with her; and they +went up-stairs with powder going before and powder stopping behind, +and were left in a spacious semicircular drawing-room, one of several +drawing-rooms, where there was a parrot on the outside of a golden cage +holding on by its beak, with its scaly legs in the air, and putting +itself into many strange upside-down postures. This peculiarity has been +observed in birds of quite another feather, climbing upon golden wires. + +The room was far more splendid than anything Little Dorrit had ever +imagined, and would have been splendid and costly in any eyes. She +looked in amazement at her sister and would have asked a question, +but that Fanny with a warning frown pointed to a curtained doorway of +communication with another room. The curtain shook next moment, and a +lady, raising it with a heavily ringed hand, dropped it behind her again +as she entered. + +The lady was not young and fresh from the hand of Nature, but was young +and fresh from the hand of her maid. She had large unfeeling handsome +eyes, and dark unfeeling handsome hair, and a broad unfeeling handsome +bosom, and was made the most of in every particular. Either because she +had a cold, or because it suited her face, she wore a rich white +fillet tied over her head and under her chin. And if ever there were +an unfeeling handsome chin that looked as if, for certain, it had never +been, in familiar parlance, 'chucked' by the hand of man, it was the +chin curbed up so tight and close by that laced bridle. + +'Mrs Merdle,' said Fanny. 'My sister, ma'am.' + +'I am glad to see your sister, Miss Dorrit. I did not remember that you +had a sister.' + +'I did not mention that I had,' said Fanny. + +'Ah!' Mrs Merdle curled the little finger of her left hand as who should +say, 'I have caught you. I know you didn't!' All her action was usually +with her left hand because her hands were not a pair; and left being +much the whiter and plumper of the two. Then she added: 'Sit down,' and +composed herself voluptuously, in a nest of crimson and gold cushions, +on an ottoman near the parrot. + +'Also professional?' said Mrs Merdle, looking at Little Dorrit through +an eye-glass. + +Fanny answered No. 'No,' said Mrs Merdle, dropping her glass. 'Has not a +professional air. Very pleasant; but not professional.' + +'My sister, ma'am,' said Fanny, in whom there was a singular mixture +of deference and hardihood, 'has been asking me to tell her, as between +sisters, how I came to have the honour of knowing you. And as I had +engaged to call upon you once more, I thought I might take the liberty +of bringing her with me, when perhaps you would tell her. I wish her to +know, and perhaps you will tell her?' + +'Do you think, at your sister's age--' hinted Mrs Merdle. + +'She is much older than she looks,' said Fanny; 'almost as old as I am.' + +'Society,' said Mrs Merdle, with another curve of her little finger, 'is +so difficult to explain to young persons (indeed is so difficult to +explain to most persons), that I am glad to hear that. I wish Society +was not so arbitrary, I wish it was not so exacting--Bird, be quiet!' + +The parrot had given a most piercing shriek, as if its name were Society +and it asserted its right to its exactions. + +'But,' resumed Mrs Merdle, 'we must take it as we find it. We know it is +hollow and conventional and worldly and very shocking, but unless we +are Savages in the Tropical seas (I should have been charmed to be one +myself--most delightful life and perfect climate, I am told), we +must consult it. It is the common lot. Mr Merdle is a most extensive +merchant, his transactions are on the vastest scale, his wealth and +influence are very great, but even he--Bird, be quiet!' + +The parrot had shrieked another shriek; and it filled up the sentence so +expressively that Mrs Merdle was under no necessity to end it. + +'Since your sister begs that I would terminate our personal +acquaintance,' she began again, addressing Little Dorrit, 'by relating +the circumstances that are much to her credit, I cannot object to comply +with her request, I am sure. I have a son (I was first married extremely +young) of two or three-and-twenty.' + +Fanny set her lips, and her eyes looked half triumphantly at her sister. + +'A son of two or three-and-twenty. He is a little gay, a thing Society +is accustomed to in young men, and he is very impressible. Perhaps he +inherits that misfortune. I am very impressible myself, by nature. The +weakest of creatures--my feelings are touched in a moment.' + +She said all this, and everything else, as coldly as a woman of snow; +quite forgetting the sisters except at odd times, and apparently +addressing some abstraction of Society; for whose behoof, too, she +occasionally arranged her dress, or the composition of her figure upon +the ottoman. + +'So he is very impressible. Not a misfortune in our natural state I dare +say, but we are not in a natural state. Much to be lamented, no doubt, +particularly by myself, who am a child of nature if I could but show it; +but so it is. Society suppresses us and dominates us--Bird, be quiet!' + +The parrot had broken into a violent fit of laughter, after twisting +divers bars of his cage with his crooked bill, and licking them with his +black tongue. + +'It is quite unnecessary to say to a person of your good sense, wide +range of experience, and cultivated feeling,' said Mrs Merdle from her +nest of crimson and gold--and there put up her glass to refresh her +memory as to whom she was addressing,--'that the stage sometimes has +a fascination for young men of that class of character. In saying the +stage, I mean the people on it of the female sex. Therefore, when I +heard that my son was supposed to be fascinated by a dancer, I knew what +that usually meant in Society, and confided in her being a dancer at the +Opera, where young men moving in Society are usually fascinated.' + +She passed her white hands over one another, observant of the sisters +now; and the rings upon her fingers grated against each other with a +hard sound. + +'As your sister will tell you, when I found what the theatre was I was +much surprised and much distressed. But when I found that your sister, +by rejecting my son's advances (I must add, in an unexpected manner), +had brought him to the point of proposing marriage, my feelings were +of the profoundest anguish--acute.' + +She traced the outline of her left eyebrow, and put it right. + +'In a distracted condition, which only a mother--moving in Society--can +be susceptible of, I determined to go myself to the theatre, and +represent my state of mind to the dancer. I made myself known to your +sister. I found her, to my surprise, in many respects different from +my expectations; and certainly in none more so, than in meeting me +with--what shall I say--a sort of family assertion on her own part?' Mrs +Merdle smiled. + +'I told you, ma'am,' said Fanny, with a heightening colour, 'that +although you found me in that situation, I was so far above the rest, +that I considered my family as good as your son's; and that I had a +brother who, knowing the circumstances, would be of the same opinion, +and would not consider such a connection any honour.' + +'Miss Dorrit,' said Mrs Merdle, after frostily looking at her through +her glass, 'precisely what I was on the point of telling your sister, +in pursuance of your request. Much obliged to you for recalling it +so accurately and anticipating me. I immediately,' addressing Little +Dorrit, '(for I am the creature of impulse), took a bracelet from my +arm, and begged your sister to let me clasp it on hers, in token of +the delight I had in our being able to approach the subject so far on +a common footing.' (This was perfectly true, the lady having bought a +cheap and showy article on her way to the interview, with a general eye +to bribery.) + +'And I told you, Mrs Merdle,' said Fanny, 'that we might be unfortunate, +but we are not common.' + +'I think, the very words, Miss Dorrit,' assented Mrs Merdle. + +'And I told you, Mrs Merdle,' said Fanny, 'that if you spoke to me +of the superiority of your son's standing in Society, it was barely +possible that you rather deceived yourself in your suppositions about my +origin; and that my father's standing, even in the Society in which +he now moved (what that was, was best known to myself), was eminently +superior, and was acknowledged by every one.' + +'Quite accurate,' rejoined Mrs Merdle. 'A most admirable memory.' + +'Thank you, ma'am. Perhaps you will be so kind as to tell my sister the +rest.' + +'There is very little to tell,' said Mrs Merdle, reviewing the breadth +of bosom which seemed essential to her having room enough to be +unfeeling in, 'but it is to your sister's credit. I pointed out to your +sister the plain state of the case; the impossibility of the Society +in which we moved recognising the Society in which she moved--though +charming, I have no doubt; the immense disadvantage at which she would +consequently place the family she had so high an opinion of, upon which +we should find ourselves compelled to look down with contempt, and +from which (socially speaking) we should feel obliged to recoil with +abhorrence. In short, I made an appeal to that laudable pride in your +sister.' + +'Let my sister know, if you please, Mrs Merdle,' Fanny pouted, with a +toss of her gauzy bonnet, 'that I had already had the honour of telling +your son that I wished to have nothing whatever to say to him.' + +'Well, Miss Dorrit,' assented Mrs Merdle, 'perhaps I might have +mentioned that before. If I did not think of it, perhaps it was because +my mind reverted to the apprehensions I had at the time that he might +persevere and you might have something to say to him. I also mentioned +to your sister--I again address the non-professional Miss Dorrit--that +my son would have nothing in the event of such a marriage, and would be +an absolute beggar. (I mention that merely as a fact which is part of +the narrative, and not as supposing it to have influenced your sister, +except in the prudent and legitimate way in which, constituted as our +artificial system is, we must all be influenced by such considerations.) +Finally, after some high words and high spirit on the part of your +sister, we came to the complete understanding that there was no danger; +and your sister was so obliging as to allow me to present her with a +mark or two of my appreciation at my dressmaker's.' + +Little Dorrit looked sorry, and glanced at Fanny with a troubled face. + +'Also,' said Mrs Merdle, 'as to promise to give me the present pleasure +of a closing interview, and of parting with her on the best of terms. +On which occasion,' added Mrs Merdle, quitting her nest, and putting +something in Fanny's hand, 'Miss Dorrit will permit me to say Farewell +with best wishes in my own dull manner.' + +The sisters rose at the same time, and they all stood near the cage of +the parrot, as he tore at a claw-full of biscuit and spat it out, seemed +to mock them with a pompous dance of his body without moving his feet, +and suddenly turned himself upside down and trailed himself all over +the outside of his golden cage, with the aid of his cruel beak and black +tongue. + +'Adieu, Miss Dorrit, with best wishes,' said Mrs Merdle. 'If we could +only come to a Millennium, or something of that sort, I for one might +have the pleasure of knowing a number of charming and talented persons +from whom I am at present excluded. A more primitive state of society +would be delicious to me. There used to be a poem when I learnt lessons, +something about Lo the poor Indians whose something mind! If a few +thousand persons moving in Society, could only go and be Indians, I +would put my name down directly; but as, moving in Society, we can't be +Indians, unfortunately--Good morning!' + +They came down-stairs with powder before them and powder behind, the +elder sister haughty and the younger sister humbled, and were shut out +into unpowdered Harley Street, Cavendish Square. + +'Well?' said Fanny, when they had gone a little way without speaking. +'Have you nothing to say, Amy?' + +'Oh, I don't know what to say!' she answered, distressed. 'You didn't +like this young man, Fanny?' + +'Like him? He is almost an idiot.' + +'I am so sorry--don't be hurt--but, since you ask me what I have to +say, I am so very sorry, Fanny, that you suffered this lady to give you +anything.' + +'You little Fool!' returned her sister, shaking her with the sharp pull +she gave her arm. 'Have you no spirit at all? But that's just the way! +You have no self-respect, you have no becoming pride, just as you allow +yourself to be followed about by a contemptible little Chivery of a +thing,' with the scornfullest emphasis, 'you would let your family be +trodden on, and never turn.' + +'Don't say that, dear Fanny. I do what I can for them.' + +'You do what you can for them!' repeated Fanny, walking her on very +fast. 'Would you let a woman like this, whom you could see, if you had +any experience of anything, to be as false and insolent as a woman can +be--would you let her put her foot upon your family, and thank her for +it?' + +'No, Fanny, I am sure.' + +'Then make her pay for it, you mean little thing. What else can you make +her do? Make her pay for it, you stupid child; and do your family some +credit with the money!' + +They spoke no more all the way back to the lodging where Fanny and her +uncle lived. When they arrived there, they found the old man practising +his clarionet in the dolefullest manner in a corner of the room. +Fanny had a composite meal to make, of chops, and porter, and tea; and +indignantly pretended to prepare it for herself, though her sister did +all that in quiet reality. When at last Fanny sat down to eat and drink, +she threw the table implements about and was angry with her bread, much +as her father had been last night. + +'If you despise me,' she said, bursting into vehement tears, 'because I +am a dancer, why did you put me in the way of being one? It was your +doing. You would have me stoop as low as the ground before this Mrs +Merdle, and let her say what she liked and do what she liked, and hold +us all in contempt, and tell me so to my face. Because I am a dancer!' + +'O Fanny!' + +'And Tip, too, poor fellow. She is to disparage him just as much as she +likes, without any check--I suppose because he has been in the law, and +the docks, and different things. Why, it was your doing, Amy. You might +at least approve of his being defended.' + +All this time the uncle was dolefully blowing his clarionet in the +corner, sometimes taking it an inch or so from his mouth for a moment +while he stopped to gaze at them, with a vague impression that somebody +had said something. + +'And your father, your poor father, Amy. Because he is not free to show +himself and to speak for himself, you would let such people insult him +with impunity. If you don't feel for yourself because you go out to +work, you might at least feel for him, I should think, knowing what he +has undergone so long.' + +Poor Little Dorrit felt the injustice of this taunt rather sharply. +The remembrance of last night added a barbed point to it. She said +nothing in reply, but turned her chair from the table towards the fire. +Uncle, after making one more pause, blew a dismal wail and went on +again. + +Fanny was passionate with the tea-cups and the bread as long as her +passion lasted, and then protested that she was the wretchedest girl in +the world, and she wished she was dead. After that, her crying became +remorseful, and she got up and put her arms round her sister. Little +Dorrit tried to stop her from saying anything, but she answered that +she would, she must! Thereupon she said again, and again, 'I beg your +pardon, Amy,' and 'Forgive me, Amy,' almost as passionately as she had +said what she regretted. + +'But indeed, indeed, Amy,' she resumed when they were seated in sisterly +accord side by side, 'I hope and I think you would have seen this +differently, if you had known a little more of Society.' + +'Perhaps I might, Fanny,' said the mild Little Dorrit. + +'You see, while you have been domestic and resignedly shut up there, +Amy,' pursued her sister, gradually beginning to patronise, 'I have +been out, moving more in Society, and may have been getting proud and +spirited--more than I ought to be, perhaps?' + +Little Dorrit answered 'Yes. O yes!' + +'And while you have been thinking of the dinner or the clothes, I may +have been thinking, you know, of the family. Now, may it not be so, +Amy?' + +Little Dorrit again nodded 'Yes,' with a more cheerful face than heart. + +'Especially as we know,' said Fanny, 'that there certainly is a tone in +the place to which you have been so true, which does belong to it, and +which does make it different from other aspects of Society. So kiss me +once again, Amy dear, and we will agree that we may both be right, and +that you are a tranquil, domestic, home-loving, good girl.' + +The clarionet had been lamenting most pathetically during this dialogue, +but was cut short now by Fanny's announcement that it was time to go; +which she conveyed to her uncle by shutting up his scrap of music, and +taking the clarionet out of his mouth. + +Little Dorrit parted from them at the door, and hastened back to the +Marshalsea. It fell dark there sooner than elsewhere, and going into it +that evening was like going into a deep trench. The shadow of the wall +was on every object. Not least upon the figure in the old grey gown and +the black velvet cap, as it turned towards her when she opened the door +of the dim room. + +'Why not upon me too!' thought Little Dorrit, with the door yet in her +hand. 'It was not unreasonable in Fanny.' + + + + +CHAPTER 21. Mr Merdle's Complaint + + +Upon that establishment of state, the Merdle establishment in Harley +Street, Cavendish Square, there was the shadow of no more common wall +than the fronts of other establishments of state on the opposite side of +the street. Like unexceptionable Society, the opposing rows of houses in +Harley Street were very grim with one another. Indeed, the mansions and +their inhabitants were so much alike in that respect, that the people +were often to be found drawn up on opposite sides of dinner-tables, in +the shade of their own loftiness, staring at the other side of the way +with the dullness of the houses. + +Everybody knows how like the street the two dinner-rows of people who +take their stand by the street will be. The expressionless uniform +twenty houses, all to be knocked at and rung at in the same form, all +approachable by the same dull steps, all fended off by the same pattern +of railing, all with the same impracticable fire-escapes, the same +inconvenient fixtures in their heads, and everything without exception +to be taken at a high valuation--who has not dined with these? The +house so drearily out of repair, the occasional bow-window, the stuccoed +house, the newly-fronted house, the corner house with nothing but +angular rooms, the house with the blinds always down, the house with the +hatchment always up, the house where the collector has called for one +quarter of an Idea, and found nobody at home--who has not dined with +these? The house that nobody will take, and is to be had a bargain--who +does not know her? The showy house that was taken for life by the +disappointed gentleman, and which does not suit him at all--who is +unacquainted with that haunted habitation? + +Harley Street, Cavendish Square, was more than aware of Mr and Mrs +Merdle. Intruders there were in Harley Street, of whom it was not aware; +but Mr and Mrs Merdle it delighted to honour. Society was aware of +Mr and Mrs Merdle. Society had said 'Let us license them; let us know +them.' + +Mr Merdle was immensely rich; a man of prodigious enterprise; a +Midas without the ears, who turned all he touched to gold. He was in +everything good, from banking to building. He was in Parliament, of +course. He was in the City, necessarily. He was Chairman of this, +Trustee of that, President of the other. The weightiest of men had said +to projectors, 'Now, what name have you got? Have you got Merdle?' And, +the reply being in the negative, had said, 'Then I won't look at you.' + +This great and fortunate man had provided that extensive bosom which +required so much room to be unfeeling enough in, with a nest of crimson +and gold some fifteen years before. It was not a bosom to repose +upon, but it was a capital bosom to hang jewels upon. Mr Merdle wanted +something to hang jewels upon, and he bought it for the purpose. Storr +and Mortimer might have married on the same speculation. + +Like all his other speculations, it was sound and successful. The jewels +showed to the richest advantage. The bosom moving in Society with +the jewels displayed upon it, attracted general admiration. Society +approving, Mr Merdle was satisfied. He was the most disinterested of +men,--did everything for Society, and got as little for himself out of +all his gain and care, as a man might. + +That is to say, it may be supposed that he got all he wanted, otherwise +with unlimited wealth he would have got it. But his desire was to the +utmost to satisfy Society (whatever that was), and take up all its +drafts upon him for tribute. He did not shine in company; he had not +very much to say for himself; he was a reserved man, with a broad, +overhanging, watchful head, that particular kind of dull red colour +in his cheeks which is rather stale than fresh, and a somewhat uneasy +expression about his coat-cuffs, as if they were in his confidence, and +had reasons for being anxious to hide his hands. In the little he said, +he was a pleasant man enough; plain, emphatic about public and private +confidence, and tenacious of the utmost deference being shown by every +one, in all things, to Society. In this same Society (if that were it +which came to his dinners, and to Mrs Merdle's receptions and concerts), +he hardly seemed to enjoy himself much, and was mostly to be found +against walls and behind doors. Also when he went out to it, instead of +its coming home to him, he seemed a little fatigued, and upon the +whole rather more disposed for bed; but he was always cultivating it +nevertheless, and always moving in it--and always laying out money on it +with the greatest liberality. + +Mrs Merdle's first husband had been a colonel, under whose auspices the +bosom had entered into competition with the snows of North America, and +had come off at little disadvantage in point of whiteness, and at none +in point of coldness. The colonel's son was Mrs Merdle's only child. He +was of a chuckle-headed, high-shouldered make, with a general appearance +of being, not so much a young man as a swelled boy. He had given so few +signs of reason, that a by-word went among his companions that his brain +had been frozen up in a mighty frost which prevailed at St John's, New +Brunswick, at the period of his birth there, and had never thawed from +that hour. Another by-word represented him as having in his infancy, +through the negligence of a nurse, fallen out of a high window on his +head, which had been heard by responsible witnesses to crack. It is +probable that both these representations were of ex post facto +origin; the young gentleman (whose expressive name was Sparkler) being +monomaniacal in offering marriage to all manner of undesirable young +ladies, and in remarking of every successive young lady to whom he +tendered a matrimonial proposal that she was 'a doosed fine gal--well +educated too--with no biggodd nonsense about her.' + +A son-in-law with these limited talents, might have been a clog upon +another man; but Mr Merdle did not want a son-in-law for himself; he +wanted a son-in-law for Society. Mr Sparkler having been in the Guards, +and being in the habit of frequenting all the races, and all the +lounges, and all the parties, and being well known, Society was +satisfied with its son-in-law. This happy result Mr Merdle would have +considered well attained, though Mr Sparkler had been a more expensive +article. And he did not get Mr Sparkler by any means cheap for +Society, even as it was. + +There was a dinner giving in the Harley Street establishment, while +Little Dorrit was stitching at her father's new shirts by his side that +night; and there were magnates from the Court and magnates from the +City, magnates from the Commons and magnates from the Lords, magnates +from the bench and magnates from the bar, Bishop magnates, Treasury +magnates, Horse Guard magnates, Admiralty magnates,--all the magnates +that keep us going, and sometimes trip us up. + +'I am told,' said Bishop magnate to Horse Guards, 'that Mr Merdle has +made another enormous hit. They say a hundred thousand pounds.' + +Horse Guards had heard two. + +Treasury had heard three. + +Bar, handling his persuasive double eye-glass, was by no means clear but +that it might be four. It was one of those happy strokes of calculation +and combination, the result of which it was difficult to estimate. It +was one of those instances of a comprehensive grasp, associated with +habitual luck and characteristic boldness, of which an age presented us +but few. But here was Brother Bellows, who had been in the great Bank +case, and who could probably tell us more. What did Brother Bellows put +this new success at? + +Brother Bellows was on his way to make his bow to the bosom, and could +only tell them in passing that he had heard it stated, with great +appearance of truth, as being worth, from first to last, half-a-million +of money. + +Admiralty said Mr Merdle was a wonderful man, Treasury said he was a +new power in the country, and would be able to buy up the whole House of +Commons. Bishop said he was glad to think that this wealth flowed into +the coffers of a gentleman who was always disposed to maintain the best +interests of Society. + +Mr Merdle himself was usually late on these occasions, as a man still +detained in the clutch of giant enterprises when other men had shaken +off their dwarfs for the day. On this occasion, he was the last arrival. +Treasury said Merdle's work punished him a little. Bishop said he was +glad to think that this wealth flowed into the coffers of a gentleman +who accepted it with meekness. + +Powder! There was so much Powder in waiting, that it flavoured the +dinner. Pulverous particles got into the dishes, and Society's meats had +a seasoning of first-rate footmen. Mr Merdle took down a countess who +was secluded somewhere in the core of an immense dress, to which she +was in the proportion of the heart to the overgrown cabbage. If so low a +simile may be admitted, the dress went down the staircase like a richly +brocaded Jack in the Green, and nobody knew what sort of small person +carried it. + +Society had everything it could want, and could not want, for dinner. +It had everything to look at, and everything to eat, and everything to +drink. It is to be hoped it enjoyed itself; for Mr Merdle's own share of +the repast might have been paid for with eighteenpence. Mrs Merdle was +magnificent. The chief butler was the next magnificent institution of +the day. He was the stateliest man in the company. He did nothing, but +he looked on as few other men could have done. He was Mr Merdle's +last gift to Society. Mr Merdle didn't want him, and was put out of +countenance when the great creature looked at him; but inappeasable +Society would have him--and had got him. + +The invisible countess carried out the Green at the usual stage of +the entertainment, and the file of beauty was closed up by the bosom. +Treasury said, Juno. Bishop said, Judith. + +Bar fell into discussion with Horse Guards concerning courts-martial. +Brothers Bellows and Bench struck in. Other magnates paired off. Mr +Merdle sat silent, and looked at the table-cloth. Sometimes a magnate +addressed him, to turn the stream of his own particular discussion +towards him; but Mr Merdle seldom gave much attention to it, or did more +than rouse himself from his calculations and pass the wine. + +When they rose, so many of the magnates had something to say to Mr +Merdle individually that he held little levees by the sideboard, and +checked them off as they went out at the door. + +Treasury hoped he might venture to congratulate one of England's +world-famed capitalists and merchant-princes (he had turned that +original sentiment in the house a few times, and it came easy to him) on +a new achievement. To extend the triumphs of such men was to extend +the triumphs and resources of the nation; and Treasury felt--he gave Mr +Merdle to understand--patriotic on the subject. + +'Thank you, my lord,' said Mr Merdle; 'thank you. I accept your +congratulations with pride, and I am glad you approve.' + +'Why, I don't unreservedly approve, my dear Mr Merdle. Because,' +smiling Treasury turned him by the arm towards the sideboard and spoke +banteringly, 'it never can be worth your while to come among us and help +us.' + +Mr Merdle felt honoured by the-- + +'No, no,' said Treasury, 'that is not the light in which one so +distinguished for practical knowledge and great foresight, can be +expected to regard it. If we should ever be happily enabled, by +accidentally possessing the control over circumstances, to propose +to one so eminent to--to come among us, and give us the weight of his +influence, knowledge, and character, we could only propose it to him as +a duty. In fact, as a duty that he owed to Society.' + +Mr Merdle intimated that Society was the apple of his eye, and that its +claims were paramount to every other consideration. Treasury moved +on, and Bar came up. + +Bar, with his little insinuating jury droop, and fingering his +persuasive double eye-glass, hoped he might be excused if he mentioned +to one of the greatest converters of the root of all evil into the root +of all good, who had for a long time reflected a shining lustre on the +annals even of our commercial country--if he mentioned, disinterestedly, +and as, what we lawyers called in our pedantic way, amicus curiae, a +fact that had come by accident within his knowledge. He had been +required to look over the title of a very considerable estate in one of +the eastern counties--lying, in fact, for Mr Merdle knew we lawyers +loved to be particular, on the borders of two of the eastern counties. +Now, the title was perfectly sound, and the estate was to be purchased +by one who had the command of--Money (jury droop and persuasive +eye-glass), on remarkably advantageous terms. This had come to Bar's +knowledge only that day, and it had occurred to him, 'I shall have the +honour of dining with my esteemed friend Mr Merdle this evening, and, +strictly between ourselves, I will mention the opportunity.' Such a +purchase would involve not only a great legitimate political influence, +but some half-dozen church presentations of considerable annual value. +Now, that Mr Merdle was already at no loss to discover means of +occupying even his capital, and of fully employing even his active and +vigorous intellect, Bar well knew: but he would venture to suggest that +the question arose in his mind, whether one who had deservedly gained so +high a position and so European a reputation did not owe it--we would +not say to himself, but we would say to Society, to possess himself of +such influences as these; and to exercise them--we would not say for his +own, or for his party's, but we would say for Society's--benefit. + +Mr Merdle again expressed himself as wholly devoted to that object of +his constant consideration, and Bar took his persuasive eye-glass up the +grand staircase. Bishop then came undesignedly sidling in the direction +of the sideboard. + +Surely the goods of this world, it occurred in an accidental way to +Bishop to remark, could scarcely be directed into happier channels than +when they accumulated under the magic touch of the wise and sagacious, +who, while they knew the just value of riches (Bishop tried here to +look as if he were rather poor himself), were aware of their importance, +judiciously governed and rightly distributed, to the welfare of our +brethren at large. + +Mr Merdle with humility expressed his conviction that Bishop couldn't +mean him, and with inconsistency expressed his high gratification in +Bishop's good opinion. + +Bishop then--jauntily stepping out a little with his well-shaped right +leg, as though he said to Mr Merdle 'don't mind the apron; a mere form!' +put this case to his good friend: + +Whether it had occurred to his good friend, that Society might not +unreasonably hope that one so blest in his undertakings, and whose +example on his pedestal was so influential with it, would shed a little +money in the direction of a mission or so to Africa? + +Mr Merdle signifying that the idea should have his best attention, +Bishop put another case: + +Whether his good friend had at all interested himself in the proceedings +of our Combined Additional Endowed Dignitaries Committee, and whether it +had occurred to him that to shed a little money in _that_ direction might +be a great conception finely executed? + +Mr Merdle made a similar reply, and Bishop explained his reason for +inquiring. + +Society looked to such men as his good friend to do such things. It was +not that _he_ looked to them, but that Society looked to them. +Just as it was not Our Committee who wanted the Additional Endowed +Dignitaries, but it was Society that was in a state of the most +agonising uneasiness of mind until it got them. He begged to assure his +good friend that he was extremely sensible of his good friend's regard +on all occasions for the best interests of Society; and he considered +that he was at once consulting those interests and expressing the +feeling of Society, when he wished him continued prosperity, continued +increase of riches, and continued things in general. + +Bishop then betook himself up-stairs, and the other magnates gradually +floated up after him until there was no one left below but Mr Merdle. +That gentleman, after looking at the table-cloth until the soul of the +chief butler glowed with a noble resentment, went slowly up after the +rest, and became of no account in the stream of people on the grand +staircase. Mrs Merdle was at home, the best of the jewels were hung out +to be seen, Society got what it came for, Mr Merdle drank twopennyworth +of tea in a corner and got more than he wanted. + +Among the evening magnates was a famous physician, who knew everybody, +and whom everybody knew. On entering at the door, he came upon Mr Merdle +drinking his tea in a corner, and touched him on the arm. + +Mr Merdle started. 'Oh! It's you!' + +'Any better to-day?' + +'No,' said Mr Merdle, 'I am no better.' + +'A pity I didn't see you this morning. Pray come to me to-morrow, or let +me come to you.' + +'Well!' he replied. 'I will come to-morrow as I drive by.' + +Bar and Bishop had both been bystanders during this short dialogue, and +as Mr Merdle was swept away by the crowd, they made their remarks upon +it to the Physician. Bar said, there was a certain point of mental +strain beyond which no man could go; that the point varied with various +textures of brain and peculiarities of constitution, as he had had +occasion to notice in several of his learned brothers; but the point of +endurance passed by a line's breadth, depression and dyspepsia ensued. +Not to intrude on the sacred mysteries of medicine, he took it, now +(with the jury droop and persuasive eye-glass), that this was Merdle's +case? Bishop said that when he was a young man, and had fallen for a +brief space into the habit of writing sermons on Saturdays, a habit +which all young sons of the church should sedulously avoid, he had +frequently been sensible of a depression, arising as he supposed from an +over-taxed intellect, upon which the yolk of a new-laid egg, beaten up +by the good woman in whose house he at that time lodged, with a glass +of sound sherry, nutmeg, and powdered sugar acted like a charm. Without +presuming to offer so simple a remedy to the consideration of so +profound a professor of the great healing art, he would venture to +inquire whether the strain, being by way of intricate calculations, +the spirits might not (humanly speaking) be restored to their tone by a +gentle and yet generous stimulant? + +'Yes,' said the physician, 'yes, you are both right. But I may as well +tell you that I can find nothing the matter with Mr Merdle. He has +the constitution of a rhinoceros, the digestion of an ostrich, and +the concentration of an oyster. As to nerves, Mr Merdle is of a cool +temperament, and not a sensitive man: is about as invulnerable, I should +say, as Achilles. How such a man should suppose himself unwell without +reason, you may think strange. But I have found nothing the matter with +him. He may have some deep-seated recondite complaint. I can't say. I +only say, that at present I have not found it out.' + +There was no shadow of Mr Merdle's complaint on the bosom now displaying +precious stones in rivalry with many similar superb jewel-stands; there +was no shadow of Mr Merdle's complaint on young Sparkler hovering about +the rooms, monomaniacally seeking any sufficiently ineligible young lady +with no nonsense about her; there was no shadow of Mr Merdle's complaint +on the Barnacles and Stiltstalkings, of whom whole colonies were +present; or on any of the company. Even on himself, its shadow was faint +enough as he moved about among the throng, receiving homage. + +Mr Merdle's complaint. Society and he had so much to do with one another +in all things else, that it is hard to imagine his complaint, if he +had one, being solely his own affair. Had he that deep-seated recondite +complaint, and did any doctor find it out? Patience, in the meantime, +the shadow of the Marshalsea wall was a real darkening influence, and +could be seen on the Dorrit Family at any stage of the sun's course. + + + + +CHAPTER 22. A Puzzle + + +Mr Clennam did not increase in favour with the Father of the Marshalsea +in the ratio of his increasing visits. His obtuseness on the great +Testimonial question was not calculated to awaken admiration in the +paternal breast, but had rather a tendency to give offence in that +sensitive quarter, and to be regarded as a positive shortcoming in point +of gentlemanly feeling. An impression of disappointment, occasioned +by the discovery that Mr Clennam scarcely possessed that delicacy for +which, in the confidence of his nature, he had been inclined to give +him credit, began to darken the fatherly mind in connection with that +gentleman. The father went so far as to say, in his private family +circle, that he feared Mr Clennam was not a man of high instincts. +He was happy, he observed, in his public capacity as leader and +representative of the College, to receive Mr Clennam when he called to +pay his respects; but he didn't find that he got on with him personally. +There appeared to be something (he didn't know what it was) wanting in +him. Howbeit, the father did not fail in any outward show of politeness, +but, on the contrary, honoured him with much attention; perhaps +cherishing the hope that, although not a man of a sufficiently +brilliant and spontaneous turn of mind to repeat his former testimonial +unsolicited, it might still be within the compass of his nature to +bear the part of a responsive gentleman, in any correspondence that way +tending. + +In the threefold capacity, of the gentleman from outside who had been +accidentally locked in on the night of his first appearance, of the +gentleman from outside who had inquired into the affairs of the Father +of the Marshalsea with the stupendous idea of getting him out, and of +the gentleman from outside who took an interest in the child of the +Marshalsea, Clennam soon became a visitor of mark. He was not surprised +by the attentions he received from Mr Chivery when that officer was on +the lock, for he made little distinction between Mr Chivery's politeness +and that of the other turnkeys. It was on one particular afternoon that +Mr Chivery surprised him all at once, and stood forth from his +companions in bold relief. + +Mr Chivery, by some artful exercise of his power of clearing the Lodge, +had contrived to rid it of all sauntering Collegians; so that Clennam, +coming out of the prison, should find him on duty alone. + +'(Private) I ask your pardon, sir,' said Mr Chivery in a secret manner; +'but which way might you be going?' + +'I am going over the Bridge.' He saw in Mr Chivery, with some +astonishment, quite an Allegory of Silence, as he stood with his key on +his lips. + +'(Private) I ask your pardon again,' said Mr Chivery, 'but could you go +round by Horsemonger Lane? Could you by any means find time to look in +at that address?' handing him a little card, printed for circulation +among the connection of Chivery and Co., Tobacconists, Importers of pure +Havannah Cigars, Bengal Cheroots, and fine-flavoured Cubas, Dealers in +Fancy Snuffs, &c. &c. + +'(Private) It an't tobacco business,' said Mr Chivery. 'The truth is, +it's my wife. She's wishful to say a word to you, sir, upon a point +respecting--yes,' said Mr Chivery, answering Clennam's look of +apprehension with a nod, 'respecting _her_.' + +'I will make a point of seeing your wife directly.' + +'Thank you, sir. Much obliged. It an't above ten minutes out of your +way. Please to ask for _Mrs_ Chivery!' These instructions, Mr Chivery, who +had already let him out, cautiously called through a little slide in the +outer door, which he could draw back from within for the inspection of +visitors when it pleased him. + +Arthur Clennam, with the card in his hand, betook himself to the address +set forth upon it, and speedily arrived there. It was a very small +establishment, wherein a decent woman sat behind the counter working +at her needle. Little jars of tobacco, little boxes of cigars, a +little assortment of pipes, a little jar or two of snuff, and a little +instrument like a shoeing horn for serving it out, composed the retail +stock in trade. + +Arthur mentioned his name, and his having promised to call, on the +solicitation of Mr Chivery. About something relating to Miss Dorrit, he +believed. Mrs Chivery at once laid aside her work, rose up from her seat +behind the counter, and deploringly shook her head. + +'You may see him now,' said she, 'if you'll condescend to take a peep.' + +With these mysterious words, she preceded the visitor into a little +parlour behind the shop, with a little window in it commanding a very +little dull back-yard. In this yard a wash of sheets and table-cloths +tried (in vain, for want of air) to get itself dried on a line or two; +and among those flapping articles was sitting in a chair, like the +last mariner left alive on the deck of a damp ship without the power of +furling the sails, a little woe-begone young man. + +'Our John,' said Mrs Chivery. + +Not to be deficient in interest, Clennam asked what he might be doing +there? + +'It's the only change he takes,' said Mrs Chivery, shaking her head +afresh. 'He won't go out, even in the back-yard, when there's no linen; +but when there's linen to keep the neighbours' eyes off, he'll sit +there, hours. Hours he will. Says he feels as if it was groves!' Mrs +Chivery shook her head again, put her apron in a motherly way to her +eyes, and reconducted her visitor into the regions of the business. + +'Please to take a seat, sir,' said Mrs Chivery. 'Miss Dorrit is the +matter with Our John, sir; he's a breaking his heart for her, and I +would wish to take the liberty to ask how it's to be made good to his +parents when bust?' + +Mrs Chivery, who was a comfortable-looking woman much respected about +Horsemonger Lane for her feelings and her conversation, uttered this +speech with fell composure, and immediately afterwards began again to +shake her head and dry her eyes. + +'Sir,' said she in continuation, 'you are acquainted with the family, +and have interested yourself with the family, and are influential with +the family. If you can promote views calculated to make two young people +happy, let me, for Our John's sake, and for both their sakes, implore +you so to do!' + +'I have been so habituated,' returned Arthur, at a loss, 'during +the short time I have known her, to consider Little--I have been so +habituated to consider Miss Dorrit in a light altogether removed from +that in which you present her to me, that you quite take me by surprise. +Does she know your son?' + +'Brought up together, sir,' said Mrs Chivery. 'Played together.' + +'Does she know your son as her admirer?' + +'Oh! bless you, sir,' said Mrs Chivery, with a sort of triumphant +shiver, 'she never could have seen him on a Sunday without knowing he +was that. His cane alone would have told it long ago, if nothing else +had. Young men like John don't take to ivory hands a pinting, for +nothing. How did I first know it myself? Similarly.' + +'Perhaps Miss Dorrit may not be so ready as you, you see.' + +'Then she knows it, sir,' said Mrs Chivery, 'by word of mouth.' + +'Are you sure?' + +'Sir,' said Mrs Chivery, 'sure and certain as in this house I am. I see +my son go out with my own eyes when in this house I was, and I see my +son come in with my own eyes when in this house I was, and I know he +done it!' Mrs Chivery derived a surprising force of emphasis from the +foregoing circumstantiality and repetition. + +'May I ask you how he came to fall into the desponding state which +causes you so much uneasiness?' + +'That,' said Mrs Chivery, 'took place on that same day when to this +house I see that John with these eyes return. Never been himself in this +house since. Never was like what he has been since, not from the hour +when to this house seven year ago me and his father, as tenants by the +quarter, came!' An effect in the nature of an affidavit was gained from +this speech by Mrs Chivery's peculiar power of construction. + +'May I venture to inquire what is your version of the matter?' + +'You may,' said Mrs Chivery, 'and I will give it to you in honour and in +word as true as in this shop I stand. Our John has every one's good word +and every one's good wish. He played with her as a child when in that +yard a child she played. He has known her ever since. He went out upon +the Sunday afternoon when in this very parlour he had dined, and met +her, with appointment or without appointment; which, I do not pretend to +say. He made his offer to her. Her brother and sister is high in their +views, and against Our John. Her father is all for himself in his views +and against sharing her with any one. Under which circumstances she +has answered Our John, "No, John, I cannot have you, I cannot have +any husband, it is not my intentions ever to become a wife, it is my +intentions to be always a sacrifice, farewell, find another worthy of +you, and forget me!" This is the way in which she is doomed to be a +constant slave to them that are not worthy that a constant slave she +unto them should be. This is the way in which Our John has come to find +no pleasure but in taking cold among the linen, and in showing in that +yard, as in that yard I have myself shown you, a broken-down ruin that +goes home to his mother's heart!' Here the good woman pointed to the +little window, whence her son might be seen sitting disconsolate in +the tuneless groves; and again shook her head and wiped her eyes, and +besought him, for the united sakes of both the young people, to exercise +his influence towards the bright reversal of these dismal events. + +She was so confident in her exposition of the case, and it was so +undeniably founded on correct premises in so far as the relative +positions of Little Dorrit and her family were concerned, that Clennam +could not feel positive on the other side. He had come to attach to +Little Dorrit an interest so peculiar--an interest that removed her +from, while it grew out of, the common and coarse things surrounding +her--that he found it disappointing, disagreeable, almost painful, to +suppose her in love with young Mr Chivery in the back-yard, or any such +person. On the other hand, he reasoned with himself that she was just +as good and just as true in love with him, as not in love with him; +and that to make a kind of domesticated fairy of her, on the penalty +of isolation at heart from the only people she knew, would be but a +weakness of his own fancy, and not a kind one. Still, her youthful and +ethereal appearance, her timid manner, the charm of her sensitive voice +and eyes, the very many respects in which she had interested him out +of her own individuality, and the strong difference between herself and +those about her, were not in unison, and were determined not to be in +unison, with this newly presented idea. + +He told the worthy Mrs Chivery, after turning these things over in his +mind--he did that, indeed, while she was yet speaking--that he might be +relied upon to do his utmost at all times to promote the happiness of +Miss Dorrit, and to further the wishes of her heart if it were in his +power to do so, and if he could discover what they were. At the same +time he cautioned her against assumptions and appearances; enjoined +strict silence and secrecy, lest Miss Dorrit should be made unhappy; and +particularly advised her to endeavour to win her son's confidence and so +to make quite sure of the state of the case. Mrs Chivery considered the +latter precaution superfluous, but said she would try. She shook her +head as if she had not derived all the comfort she had fondly expected +from this interview, but thanked him nevertheless for the trouble he had +kindly taken. They then parted good friends, and Arthur walked away. + +The crowd in the street jostling the crowd in his mind, and the two +crowds making a confusion, he avoided London Bridge, and turned off in +the quieter direction of the Iron Bridge. He had scarcely set foot upon +it, when he saw Little Dorrit walking on before him. It was a pleasant +day, with a light breeze blowing, and she seemed to have that minute +come there for air. He had left her in her father's room within an hour. + +It was a timely chance, favourable to his wish of observing her face +and manner when no one else was by. He quickened his pace; but before he +reached her, she turned her head. + +'Have I startled you?' he asked. + +'I thought I knew the step,' she answered, hesitating. + +'And did you know it, Little Dorrit? You could hardly have expected +mine.' + +'I did not expect any. But when I heard a step, I thought it--sounded +like yours.' + +'Are you going further?' + +'No, sir, I am only walking here for a little change.' + +They walked together, and she recovered her confiding manner with him, +and looked up in his face as she said, after glancing around: + +'It is so strange. Perhaps you can hardly understand it. I sometimes +have a sensation as if it was almost unfeeling to walk here.' + +'Unfeeling?' + +'To see the river, and so much sky, and so many objects, and such change +and motion. Then to go back, you know, and find him in the same cramped +place.' + +'Ah yes! But going back, you must remember that you take with you the +spirit and influence of such things to cheer him.' + +'Do I? I hope I may! I am afraid you fancy too much, sir, and make me +out too powerful. If you were in prison, could I bring such comfort to +you?' + +'Yes, Little Dorrit, I am sure of it.' + +He gathered from a tremor on her lip, and a passing shadow of great +agitation on her face, that her mind was with her father. He remained +silent for a few moments, that she might regain her composure. The +Little Dorrit, trembling on his arm, was less in unison than ever with +Mrs Chivery's theory, and yet was not irreconcilable with a new fancy +which sprung up within him, that there might be some one else in the +hopeless--newer fancy still--in the hopeless unattainable distance. + +They turned, and Clennam said, Here was Maggy coming! Little Dorrit +looked up, surprised, and they confronted Maggy, who brought herself +at sight of them to a dead stop. She had been trotting along, so +preoccupied and busy that she had not recognised them until they turned +upon her. She was now in a moment so conscience-stricken that her very +basket partook of the change. + +'Maggy, you promised me to stop near father.' + +'So I would, Little Mother, only he wouldn't let me. If he takes and +sends me out I must go. If he takes and says, "Maggy, you hurry away and +back with that letter, and you shall have a sixpence if the answer's a +good 'un," I must take it. Lor, Little Mother, what's a poor thing of +ten year old to do? And if Mr Tip--if he happens to be a coming in as +I come out, and if he says "Where are you going, Maggy?" and if I says, +"I'm a going So and So," and if he says, "I'll have a Try too," and if +he goes into the George and writes a letter and if he gives it me and +says, "Take that one to the same place, and if the answer's a good 'un +I'll give you a shilling," it ain't my fault, mother!' + +Arthur read, in Little Dorrit's downcast eyes, to whom she foresaw that +the letters were addressed. + +'I'm a going So and So. There! That's where I am a going to,' said +Maggy. 'I'm a going So and So. It ain't you, Little Mother, that's got +anything to do with it--it's you, you know,' said Maggy, addressing +Arthur. 'You'd better come, So and So, and let me take and give 'em to +you.' + +'We will not be so particular as that, Maggy. Give them me here,' said +Clennam in a low voice. + +'Well, then, come across the road,' answered Maggy in a very loud +whisper. 'Little Mother wasn't to know nothing of it, and she would +never have known nothing of it if you had only gone So and So, instead +of bothering and loitering about. It ain't my fault. I must do what I am +told. They ought to be ashamed of themselves for telling me.' + +Clennam crossed to the other side, and hurriedly opened the letters. +That from the father mentioned that most unexpectedly finding himself in +the novel position of having been disappointed of a remittance from +the City on which he had confidently counted, he took up his pen, being +restrained by the unhappy circumstance of his incarceration during +three-and-twenty years (doubly underlined), from coming himself, as +he would otherwise certainly have done--took up his pen to entreat Mr +Clennam to advance him the sum of Three Pounds Ten Shillings upon his +I.O.U., which he begged to enclose. That from the son set forth that +Mr Clennam would, he knew, be gratified to hear that he had at +length obtained permanent employment of a highly satisfactory nature, +accompanied with every prospect of complete success in life; but that +the temporary inability of his employer to pay him his arrears of salary +to that date (in which condition said employer had appealed to that +generous forbearance in which he trusted he should never be wanting +towards a fellow-creature), combined with the fraudulent conduct of a +false friend and the present high price of provisions, had reduced +him to the verge of ruin, unless he could by a quarter before six that +evening raise the sum of eight pounds. This sum, Mr Clennam would be +happy to learn, he had, through the promptitude of several friends +who had a lively confidence in his probity, already raised, with the +exception of a trifling balance of one pound seventeen and fourpence; +the loan of which balance, for the period of one month, would be fraught +with the usual beneficent consequences. + +These letters Clennam answered with the aid of his pencil and +pocket-book, on the spot; sending the father what he asked for, and +excusing himself from compliance with the demand of the son. He then +commissioned Maggy to return with his replies, and gave her the +shilling of which the failure of her supplemental enterprise would have +disappointed her otherwise. + +When he rejoined Little Dorrit, and they had begun walking as before, +she said all at once: + +'I think I had better go. I had better go home.' + +'Don't be distressed,' said Clennam, 'I have answered the letters. They +were nothing. You know what they were. They were nothing.' + +'But I am afraid,' she returned, 'to leave him, I am afraid to leave +any of them. When I am gone, they pervert--but they don't mean it--even +Maggy.' + +'It was a very innocent commission that she undertook, poor thing. And +in keeping it secret from you, she supposed, no doubt, that she was only +saving you uneasiness.' + +'Yes, I hope so, I hope so. But I had better go home! It was but the +other day that my sister told me I had become so used to the prison that +I had its tone and character. It must be so. I am sure it must be when I +see these things. My place is there. I am better there, it is unfeeling +in me to be here, when I can do the least thing there. Good-bye. I had +far better stay at home!' + +The agonised way in which she poured this out, as if it burst of itself +from her suppressed heart, made it difficult for Clennam to keep the +tears from his eyes as he saw and heard her. + +'Don't call it home, my child!' he entreated. 'It is always painful to +me to hear you call it home.' + +'But it is home! What else can I call home? Why should I ever forget it +for a single moment?' + +'You never do, dear Little Dorrit, in any good and true service.' + +'I hope not, O I hope not! But it is better for me to stay there; much +better, much more dutiful, much happier. Please don't go with me, let me +go by myself. Good-bye, God bless you. Thank you, thank you.' + +He felt that it was better to respect her entreaty, and did not move +while her slight form went quickly away from him. When it had fluttered +out of sight, he turned his face towards the water and stood thinking. + +She would have been distressed at any time by this discovery of the +letters; but so much so, and in that unrestrainable way? + +No. + +When she had seen her father begging with his threadbare disguise on, +when she had entreated him not to give her father money, she had +been distressed, but not like this. Something had made her keenly and +additionally sensitive just now. Now, was there some one in the hopeless +unattainable distance? Or had the suspicion been brought into his mind, +by his own associations of the troubled river running beneath the bridge +with the same river higher up, its changeless tune upon the prow of the +ferry-boat, so many miles an hour the peaceful flowing of the stream, +here the rushes, there the lilies, nothing uncertain or unquiet? + +He thought of his poor child, Little Dorrit, for a long time there; he +thought of her going home; he thought of her in the night; he thought +of her when the day came round again. And the poor child Little Dorrit +thought of him--too faithfully, ah, too faithfully!--in the shadow of +the Marshalsea wall. + + + + +CHAPTER 23. Machinery in Motion + + +Mr Meagles bestirred himself with such prompt activity in the matter of +the negotiation with Daniel Doyce which Clennam had entrusted to him, +that he soon brought it into business train, and called on Clennam at +nine o'clock one morning to make his report. + +'Doyce is highly gratified by your good opinion,' he opened the business +by saying, 'and desires nothing so much as that you should examine the +affairs of the Works for yourself, and entirely understand them. He has +handed me the keys of all his books and papers--here they are jingling +in this pocket--and the only charge he has given me is "Let Mr Clennam +have the means of putting himself on a perfect equality with me as to +knowing whatever I know. If it should come to nothing after all, he +will respect my confidence. Unless I was sure of that to begin with, I +should have nothing to do with him." And there, you see,' said Mr +Meagles, 'you have Daniel Doyce all over.' + +'A very honourable character.' + +'Oh, yes, to be sure. Not a doubt of it. Odd, but very honourable. Very +odd though. Now, would you believe, Clennam,' said Mr Meagles, with +a hearty enjoyment of his friend's eccentricity, 'that I had a whole +morning in What's-his-name Yard--' + +'Bleeding Heart?' + +'A whole morning in Bleeding Heart Yard, before I could induce him to +pursue the subject at all?' + +'How was that?' + +'How was that, my friend? I no sooner mentioned your name in connection +with it than he declared off.' + +'Declared off on my account?' + +'I no sooner mentioned your name, Clennam, than he said, "That will +never do!" What did he mean by that? I asked him. No matter, Meagles; +that would never do. Why would it never do? You'll hardly believe it, +Clennam,' said Mr Meagles, laughing within himself, 'but it came out +that it would never do, because you and he, walking down to Twickenham +together, had glided into a friendly conversation in the course of which +he had referred to his intention of taking a partner, supposing at the +time that you were as firmly and finally settled as St Paul's Cathedral. +"Whereas," says he, "Mr Clennam might now believe, if I entertained his +proposition, that I had a sinister and designing motive in what was open +free speech. Which I can't bear," says he, "which I really am too proud +to bear."' + +'I should as soon suspect--' + +'Of course you would,' interrupted Mr Meagles, 'and so I told him. But +it took a morning to scale that wall; and I doubt if any other man +than myself (he likes me of old) could have got his leg over it. Well, +Clennam. This business-like obstacle surmounted, he then stipulated that +before resuming with you I should look over the books and form my own +opinion. I looked over the books, and formed my own opinion. "Is it, on +the whole, for, or against?" says he. "For," says I. "Then," says he, +"you may now, my good friend, give Mr Clennam the means of forming +his opinion. To enable him to do which, without bias and with perfect +freedom, I shall go out of town for a week." And he's gone,' said Mr +Meagles; 'that's the rich conclusion of the thing.' + +'Leaving me,' said Clennam, 'with a high sense, I must say, of his +candour and his--' + +'Oddity,' Mr Meagles struck in. 'I should think so!' + +It was not exactly the word on Clennam's lips, but he forbore to +interrupt his good-humoured friend. + +'And now,' added Mr Meagles, 'you can begin to look into matters as soon +as you think proper. I have undertaken to explain where you may want +explanation, but to be strictly impartial, and to do nothing more.' + +They began their perquisitions in Bleeding Heart Yard that same +forenoon. Little peculiarities were easily to be detected by experienced +eyes in Mr Doyce's way of managing his affairs, but they almost always +involved some ingenious simplification of a difficulty, and some plain +road to the desired end. That his papers were in arrear, and that he +stood in need of assistance to develop the capacity of his business, was +clear enough; but all the results of his undertakings during many years +were distinctly set forth, and were ascertainable with ease. Nothing had +been done for the purposes of the pending investigation; everything was +in its genuine working dress, and in a certain honest rugged order. The +calculations and entries, in his own hand, of which there were many, +were bluntly written, and with no very neat precision; but were always +plain and directed straight to the purpose. It occurred to Arthur that +a far more elaborate and taking show of business--such as the records of +the Circumlocution Office made perhaps--might be far less serviceable, +as being meant to be far less intelligible. + +Three or four days of steady application tendered him master of all the +facts it was essential to become acquainted with. Mr Meagles was at hand +the whole time, always ready to illuminate any dim place with the bright +little safety-lamp belonging to the scales and scoop. Between them they +agreed upon the sum it would be fair to offer for the purchase of a +half-share in the business, and then Mr Meagles unsealed a paper in +which Daniel Doyce had noted the amount at which he valued it; which was +even something less. Thus, when Daniel came back, he found the affair as +good as concluded. + +'And I may now avow, Mr Clennam,' said he, with a cordial shake of the +hand, 'that if I had looked high and low for a partner, I believe I +could not have found one more to my mind.' + +'I say the same,' said Clennam. + +'And I say of both of you,' added Mr Meagles, 'that you are well +matched. You keep him in check, Clennam, with your common sense, and you +stick to the Works, Dan, with your--' + +'Uncommon sense?' suggested Daniel, with his quiet smile. + +'You may call it so, if you like--and each of you will be a right hand +to the other. Here's my own right hand upon it, as a practical man, to +both of you.' + +The purchase was completed within a month. It left Arthur in possession +of private personal means not exceeding a few hundred pounds; but it +opened to him an active and promising career. The three friends dined +together on the auspicious occasion; the factory and the factory wives +and children made holiday and dined too; even Bleeding Heart Yard +dined and was full of meat. Two months had barely gone by in all, when +Bleeding Heart Yard had become so familiar with short-commons again, +that the treat was forgotten there; when nothing seemed new in the +partnership but the paint of the inscription on the door-posts, DOYCE +AND CLENNAM; when it appeared even to Clennam himself, that he had had +the affairs of the firm in his mind for years. + +The little counting-house reserved for his own occupation, was a room of +wood and glass at the end of a long low workshop, filled with benches, +and vices, and tools, and straps, and wheels; which, when they were +in gear with the steam-engine, went tearing round as though they had a +suicidal mission to grind the business to dust and tear the factory to +pieces. A communication of great trap-doors in the floor and roof with +the workshop above and the workshop below, made a shaft of light in +this perspective, which brought to Clennam's mind the child's old +picture-book, where similar rays were the witnesses of Abel's +murder. The noises were sufficiently removed and shut out from the +counting-house to blend into a busy hum, interspersed with periodical +clinks and thumps. The patient figures at work were swarthy with the +filings of iron and steel that danced on every bench and bubbled up +through every chink in the planking. The workshop was arrived at by a +step-ladder from the outer yard below, where it served as a shelter for +the large grindstone where tools were sharpened. The whole had at once +a fanciful and practical air in Clennam's eyes, which was a welcome +change; and, as often as he raised them from his first work of getting +the array of business documents into perfect order, he glanced at these +things with a feeling of pleasure in his pursuit that was new to him. + +Raising his eyes thus one day, he was surprised to see a bonnet +labouring up the step-ladder. The unusual apparition was followed by +another bonnet. He then perceived that the first bonnet was on the head +of Mr F.'s Aunt, and that the second bonnet was on the head of Flora, +who seemed to have propelled her legacy up the steep ascent with +considerable difficulty. + +Though not altogether enraptured at the sight of these visitors, Clennam +lost no time in opening the counting-house door, and extricating them +from the workshop; a rescue which was rendered the more necessary by Mr +F.'s Aunt already stumbling over some impediment, and menacing steam +power as an Institution with a stony reticule she carried. + +'Good gracious, Arthur,--I should say Mr Clennam, far more proper--the +climb we have had to get up here and how ever to get down again without +a fire-escape and Mr F.'s Aunt slipping through the steps and bruised +all over and you in the machinery and foundry way too only think, and +never told us!' + +Thus, Flora, out of breath. Meanwhile, Mr F.'s Aunt rubbed her esteemed +insteps with her umbrella, and vindictively glared. + +'Most unkind never to have come back to see us since that day, though +naturally it was not to be expected that there should be any attraction +at _our_ house and you were much more pleasantly engaged, that's pretty +certain, and is she fair or dark blue eyes or black I wonder, not that +I expect that she should be anything but a perfect contrast to me in all +particulars for I am a disappointment as I very well know and you are +quite right to be devoted no doubt though what I am saying Arthur never +mind I hardly know myself Good gracious!' + +By this time he had placed chairs for them in the counting-house. As +Flora dropped into hers, she bestowed the old look upon him. + +'And to think of Doyce and Clennam, and who Doyce can be,' said Flora; +'delightful man no doubt and married perhaps or perhaps a daughter, now +has he really? then one understands the partnership and sees it all, +don't tell me anything about it for I know I have no claim to ask the +question the golden chain that once was forged being snapped and very +proper.' + +Flora put her hand tenderly on his, and gave him another of the youthful +glances. + +'Dear Arthur--force of habit, Mr Clennam every way more delicate and +adapted to existing circumstances--I must beg to be excused for taking +the liberty of this intrusion but I thought I might so far presume upon +old times for ever faded never more to bloom as to call with Mr F.'s +Aunt to congratulate and offer best wishes, A great deal superior to +China not to be denied and much nearer though higher up!' + +'I am very happy to see you,' said Clennam, 'and I thank you, Flora, +very much for your kind remembrance.' + +'More than I can say myself at any rate,' returned Flora, 'for I might +have been dead and buried twenty distinct times over and no doubt +whatever should have been before you had genuinely remembered Me or +anything like it in spite of which one last remark I wish to make, one +last explanation I wish to offer--' + +'My dear Mrs Finching,' Arthur remonstrated in alarm. + +'Oh not that disagreeable name, say Flora!' + +'Flora, is it worth troubling yourself afresh to enter into +explanations? I assure you none are needed. I am satisfied--I am +perfectly satisfied.' + +A diversion was occasioned here, by Mr F.'s Aunt making the following +inexorable and awful statement: + +'There's mile-stones on the Dover road!' + +With such mortal hostility towards the human race did she discharge this +missile, that Clennam was quite at a loss how to defend himself; the +rather as he had been already perplexed in his mind by the honour of a +visit from this venerable lady, when it was plain she held him in the +utmost abhorrence. He could not but look at her with disconcertment, as +she sat breathing bitterness and scorn, and staring leagues away. Flora, +however, received the remark as if it had been of a most apposite and +agreeable nature; approvingly observing aloud that Mr F.'s Aunt had a +great deal of spirit. Stimulated either by this compliment, or by her +burning indignation, that illustrious woman then added, 'Let him meet +it if he can!' And, with a rigid movement of her stony reticule (an +appendage of great size and of a fossil appearance), indicated that +Clennam was the unfortunate person at whom the challenge was hurled. + +'One last remark,' resumed Flora, 'I was going to say I wish to make one +last explanation I wish to offer, Mr F.'s Aunt and myself would not have +intruded on business hours Mr F. having been in business and though the +wine trade still business is equally business call it what you will and +business habits are just the same as witness Mr F. himself who had his +slippers always on the mat at ten minutes before six in the afternoon +and his boots inside the fender at ten minutes before eight in the +morning to the moment in all weathers light or dark--would not therefore +have intruded without a motive which being kindly meant it may be hoped +will be kindly taken Arthur, Mr Clennam far more proper, even Doyce and +Clennam probably more business-like.' + +'Pray say nothing in the way of apology,' Arthur entreated. 'You are +always welcome.' + +'Very polite of you to say so Arthur--cannot remember Mr Clennam until +the word is out, such is the habit of times for ever fled, and so true +it is that oft in the stilly night ere slumber's chain has bound people, +fond memory brings the light of other days around people--very polite +but more polite than true I am afraid, for to go into the machinery +business without so much as sending a line or a card to papa--I don't +say me though there was a time but that is past and stern reality has +now my gracious never mind--does not look like it you must confess.' + +Even Flora's commas seemed to have fled on this occasion; she was so +much more disjointed and voluble than in the preceding interview. + +'Though indeed,' she hurried on, 'nothing else is to be expected and why +should it be expected and if it's not to be expected why should it be, +and I am far from blaming you or any one, When your mama and my papa +worried us to death and severed the golden bowl--I mean bond but I dare +say you know what I mean and if you don't you don't lose much and care +just as little I will venture to add--when they severed the golden bond +that bound us and threw us into fits of crying on the sofa nearly choked +at least myself everything was changed and in giving my hand to Mr F. I +know I did so with my eyes open but he was so very unsettled and in such +low spirits that he had distractedly alluded to the river if not oil of +something from the chemist's and I did it for the best.' + +'My good Flora, we settled that before. It was all quite right.' + +'It's perfectly clear you think so,' returned Flora, 'for you take it +very coolly, if I hadn't known it to be China I should have guessed +myself the Polar regions, dear Mr Clennam you are right however and I +cannot blame you but as to Doyce and Clennam papa's property being about +here we heard it from Pancks and but for him we never should have heard +one word about it I am satisfied.' + +'No, no, don't say that.' + +'What nonsense not to say it Arthur--Doyce and Clennam--easier and less +trying to me than Mr Clennam--when I know it and you know it too and +can't deny it.' + +'But I do deny it, Flora. I should soon have made you a friendly visit.' + +'Ah!' said Flora, tossing her head. 'I dare say!' and she gave him +another of the old looks. 'However when Pancks told us I made up my mind +that Mr F.'s Aunt and I would come and call because when papa--which was +before that--happened to mention her name to me and to say that you were +interested in her I said at the moment Good gracious why not have her +here then when there's anything to do instead of putting it out.' + +'When you say Her,' observed Clennam, by this time pretty well +bewildered, 'do you mean Mr F.'s--' + +'My goodness, Arthur--Doyce and Clennam really easier to me with old +remembrances--who ever heard of Mr F.'s Aunt doing needlework and going +out by the day?' + +'Going out by the day! Do you speak of Little Dorrit?' + +'Why yes of course,' returned Flora; 'and of all the strangest names I +ever heard the strangest, like a place down in the country with a +turnpike, or a favourite pony or a puppy or a bird or something from a +seed-shop to be put in a garden or a flower-pot and come up speckled.' + +'Then, Flora,' said Arthur, with a sudden interest in the conversation, +'Mr Casby was so kind as to mention Little Dorrit to you, was he? What +did he say?' + +'Oh you know what papa is,' rejoined Flora, 'and how aggravatingly he +sits looking beautiful and turning his thumbs over and over one another +till he makes one giddy if one keeps one's eyes upon him, he said when +we were talking of you--I don't know who began the subject Arthur (Doyce +and Clennam) but I am sure it wasn't me, at least I hope not but you +really must excuse my confessing more on that point.' + +'Certainly,' said Arthur. 'By all means.' + +'You are very ready,' pouted Flora, coming to a sudden stop in a +captivating bashfulness, 'that I must admit, Papa said you had spoken of +her in an earnest way and I said what I have told you and that's all.' + +'That's all?' said Arthur, a little disappointed. + +'Except that when Pancks told us of your having embarked in this +business and with difficulty persuaded us that it was really you I said +to Mr F.'s Aunt then we would come and ask you if it would be agreeable +to all parties that she should be engaged at our house when required +for I know she often goes to your mama's and I know that your mama has +a very touchy temper Arthur--Doyce and Clennam--or I never might have +married Mr F. and might have been at this hour but I am running into +nonsense.' + +'It was very kind of you, Flora, to think of this.' + +Poor Flora rejoined with a plain sincerity which became her better than +her youngest glances, that she was glad he thought so. She said it with +so much heart that Clennam would have given a great deal to buy his +old character of her on the spot, and throw it and the mermaid away for +ever. + +'I think, Flora,' he said, 'that the employment you can give Little +Dorrit, and the kindness you can show her--' + +'Yes and I will,' said Flora, quickly. + +'I am sure of it--will be a great assistance and support to her. I do +not feel that I have the right to tell you what I know of her, for I +acquired the knowledge confidentially, and under circumstances that +bind me to silence. But I have an interest in the little creature, and +a respect for her that I cannot express to you. Her life has been one +of such trial and devotion, and such quiet goodness, as you can scarcely +imagine. I can hardly think of her, far less speak of her, without +feeling moved. Let that feeling represent what I could tell you, and +commit her to your friendliness with my thanks.' + +Once more he put out his hand frankly to poor Flora; once more poor +Flora couldn't accept it frankly, found it worth nothing openly, must +make the old intrigue and mystery of it. As much to her own enjoyment as +to his dismay, she covered it with a corner of her shawl as she took it. +Then, looking towards the glass front of the counting-house, and seeing +two figures approaching, she cried with infinite relish, 'Papa! Hush, +Arthur, for Mercy's sake!' and tottered back to her chair with an +amazing imitation of being in danger of swooning, in the dread surprise +and maidenly flutter of her spirits. + +The Patriarch, meanwhile, came inanely beaming towards the +counting-house in the wake of Pancks. Pancks opened the door for him, +towed him in, and retired to his own moorings in a corner. + +'I heard from Flora,' said the Patriarch with his benevolent smile, +'that she was coming to call, coming to call. And being out, I thought +I'd come also, thought I'd come also.' + +The benign wisdom he infused into this declaration (not of itself +profound), by means of his blue eyes, his shining head, and his long +white hair, was most impressive. It seemed worth putting down among the +noblest sentiments enunciated by the best of men. Also, when he said to +Clennam, seating himself in the proffered chair, 'And you are in a new +business, Mr Clennam? I wish you well, sir, I wish you well!' he seemed +to have done benevolent wonders. + +'Mrs Finching has been telling me, sir,' said Arthur, after making his +acknowledgments; the relict of the late Mr F. meanwhile protesting, with +a gesture, against his use of that respectable name; 'that she hopes +occasionally to employ the young needlewoman you recommended to my +mother. For which I have been thanking her.' + +The Patriarch turning his head in a lumbering way towards Pancks, that +assistant put up the note-book in which he had been absorbed, and took +him in tow. + +'You didn't recommend her, you know,' said Pancks; 'how could you? You +knew nothing about her, you didn't. The name was mentioned to you, and +you passed it on. That's what _you_ did.' + +'Well!' said Clennam. 'As she justifies any recommendation, it is much +the same thing.' + +'You are glad she turns out well,' said Pancks, 'but it wouldn't have +been your fault if she had turned out ill. The credit's not yours as it +is, and the blame wouldn't have been yours as it might have been. You +gave no guarantee. You knew nothing about her.' + +'You are not acquainted, then,' said Arthur, hazarding a random question, +'with any of her family?' + +'Acquainted with any of her family?' returned Pancks. 'How should you be +acquainted with any of her family? You never heard of 'em. You can't +be acquainted with people you never heard of, can you? You should think +not!' + +All this time the Patriarch sat serenely smiling; nodding or shaking his +head benevolently, as the case required. + +'As to being a reference,' said Pancks, 'you know, in a general way, +what being a reference means. It's all your eye, that is! Look at your +tenants down the Yard here. They'd all be references for one another, +if you'd let 'em. What would be the good of letting 'em? It's no +satisfaction to be done by two men instead of one. One's enough. A +person who can't pay, gets another person who can't pay, to guarantee +that he can pay. Like a person with two wooden legs getting another +person with two wooden legs, to guarantee that he has got two natural +legs. It don't make either of them able to do a walking match. And four +wooden legs are more troublesome to you than two, when you don't want +any.' Mr Pancks concluded by blowing off that steam of his. + +A momentary silence that ensued was broken by Mr F.'s Aunt, who had been +sitting upright in a cataleptic state since her last public remark. She +now underwent a violent twitch, calculated to produce a startling effect +on the nerves of the uninitiated, and with the deadliest animosity +observed: + +'You can't make a head and brains out of a brass knob with nothing in +it. You couldn't do it when your Uncle George was living; much less when +he's dead.' + +Mr Pancks was not slow to reply, with his usual calmness, 'Indeed, +ma'am! Bless my soul! I'm surprised to hear it.' Despite his presence of +mind, however, the speech of Mr F.'s Aunt produced a depressing effect +on the little assembly; firstly, because it was impossible to disguise +that Clennam's unoffending head was the particular temple of reason +depreciated; and secondly, because nobody ever knew on these occasions +whose Uncle George was referred to, or what spectral presence might be +invoked under that appellation. + +Therefore Flora said, though still not without a certain boastfulness +and triumph in her legacy, that Mr F.'s Aunt was 'very lively to-day, +and she thought they had better go.' But Mr F.'s Aunt proved so lively +as to take the suggestion in unexpected dudgeon and declare that she +would not go; adding, with several injurious expressions, that if +'He'--too evidently meaning Clennam--wanted to get rid of her, 'let +him chuck her out of winder;' and urgently expressing her desire to see +'Him' perform that ceremony. + +In this dilemma, Mr Pancks, whose resources appeared equal to any +emergency in the Patriarchal waters, slipped on his hat, slipped out at +the counting-house door, and slipped in again a moment afterwards with +an artificial freshness upon him, as if he had been in the country for +some weeks. 'Why, bless my heart, ma'am!' said Mr Pancks, rubbing up his +hair in great astonishment, 'is that you? How do you _do_, ma'am? You +are looking charming to-day! I am delighted to see you. Favour me with +your arm, ma'am; we'll have a little walk together, you and me, if +you'll honour me with your company.' And so escorted Mr F.'s Aunt down +the private staircase of the counting-house with great gallantry and +success. The patriarchal Mr Casby then rose with the air of having done +it himself, and blandly followed: leaving his daughter, as she followed +in her turn, to remark to her former lover in a distracted whisper +(which she very much enjoyed), that they had drained the cup of life to +the dregs; and further to hint mysteriously that the late Mr F. was at +the bottom of it. + +Alone again, Clennam became a prey to his old doubts in reference to his +mother and Little Dorrit, and revolved the old thoughts and suspicions. +They were all in his mind, blending themselves with the duties he was +mechanically discharging, when a shadow on his papers caused him to look +up for the cause. The cause was Mr Pancks. With his hat thrown back upon +his ears as if his wiry prongs of hair had darted up like springs and +cast it off, with his jet-black beads of eyes inquisitively sharp, with +the fingers of his right hand in his mouth that he might bite the nails, +and with the fingers of his left hand in reserve in his pocket for +another course, Mr Pancks cast his shadow through the glass upon the +books and papers. + +Mr Pancks asked, with a little inquiring twist of his head, if he +might come in again? Clennam replied with a nod of his head in the +affirmative. Mr Pancks worked his way in, came alongside the desk, made +himself fast by leaning his arms upon it, and started conversation with +a puff and a snort. + +'Mr F.'s Aunt is appeased, I hope?' said Clennam. + +'All right, sir,' said Pancks. + +'I am so unfortunate as to have awakened a strong animosity in the +breast of that lady,' said Clennam. 'Do you know why?' + +'Does _she_ know why?' said Pancks. + +'I suppose not.' + +'_I_ suppose not,' said Pancks. + +He took out his note-book, opened it, shut it, dropped it into his hat, +which was beside him on the desk, and looked in at it as it lay at the +bottom of the hat: all with a great appearance of consideration. + +'Mr Clennam,' he then began, 'I am in want of information, sir.' + +'Connected with this firm?' asked Clennam. + +'No,' said Pancks. + +'With what then, Mr Pancks? That is to say, assuming that you want it of +me.' + +'Yes, sir; yes, I want it of you,' said Pancks, 'if I can persuade you +to furnish it. A, B, C, D. DA, DE, DI, DO. Dictionary order. Dorrit. +That's the name, sir?' + +Mr Pancks blew off his peculiar noise again, and fell to at his +right-hand nails. Arthur looked searchingly at him; he returned the +look. + +'I don't understand you, Mr Pancks.' + +'That's the name that I want to know about.' + +'And what do you want to know?' + +'Whatever you can and will tell me.' This comprehensive summary of his +desires was not discharged without some heavy labouring on the part of +Mr Pancks's machinery. + +'This is a singular visit, Mr Pancks. It strikes me as rather +extraordinary that you should come, with such an object, to me.' + +'It may be all extraordinary together,' returned Pancks. 'It may be out +of the ordinary course, and yet be business. In short, it is business. I +am a man of business. What business have I in this present world, except +to stick to business? No business.' + +With his former doubt whether this dry hard personage were quite in +earnest, Clennam again turned his eyes attentively upon his face. It +was as scrubby and dingy as ever, and as eager and quick as ever, and he +could see nothing lurking in it that was at all expressive of a latent +mockery that had seemed to strike upon his ear in the voice. + +'Now,' said Pancks, 'to put this business on its own footing, it's not +my proprietor's.' + +'Do you refer to Mr Casby as your proprietor?' + +Pancks nodded. 'My proprietor. Put a case. Say, at my proprietor's I +hear name--name of young person Mr Clennam wants to serve. Say, name +first mentioned to my proprietor by Plornish in the Yard. Say, I go to +Plornish. Say, I ask Plornish as a matter of business for information. +Say, Plornish, though six weeks in arrear to my proprietor, declines. +Say, Mrs Plornish declines. Say, both refer to Mr Clennam. Put the +case.' + +'Well?' + +'Well, sir,' returned Pancks, 'say, I come to him. Say, here I am.' + +With those prongs of hair sticking up all over his head, and his breath +coming and going very hard and short, the busy Pancks fell back a step +(in Tug metaphor, took half a turn astern) as if to show his dingy hull +complete, then forged a-head again, and directed his quick glance by +turns into his hat where his note-book was, and into Clennam's face. + +'Mr Pancks, not to trespass on your grounds of mystery, I will be as +plain with you as I can. Let me ask two questions. First--' + +'All right!' said Pancks, holding up his dirty forefinger with his +broken nail. 'I see! "What's your motive?"' + +'Exactly.' + +'Motive,' said Pancks, 'good. Nothing to do with my proprietor; not +stateable at present, ridiculous to state at present; but good. +Desiring to serve young person, name of Dorrit,' said Pancks, with his +forefinger still up as a caution. 'Better admit motive to be good.' + +'Secondly, and lastly, what do you want to know?' + +Mr Pancks fished up his note-book before the question was put, and +buttoning it with care in an inner breast-pocket, and looking straight +at Clennam all the time, replied with a pause and a puff, 'I want +supplementary information of any sort.' + +Clennam could not withhold a smile, as the panting little steam-tug, so +useful to that unwieldy ship, the Casby, waited on and watched him as if +it were seeking an opportunity of running in and rifling him of all he +wanted before he could resist its manoeuvres; though there was that in +Mr Pancks's eagerness, too, which awakened many wondering speculations +in his mind. After a little consideration, he resolved to supply Mr +Pancks with such leading information as it was in his power to impart +him; well knowing that Mr Pancks, if he failed in his present research, +was pretty sure to find other means of getting it. + +He, therefore, first requesting Mr Pancks to remember his voluntary +declaration that his proprietor had no part in the disclosure, and that +his own intentions were good (two declarations which that coaly little +gentleman with the greatest ardour repeated), openly told him that as to +the Dorrit lineage or former place of habitation, he had no information +to communicate, and that his knowledge of the family did not extend +beyond the fact that it appeared to be now reduced to five members; +namely, to two brothers, of whom one was single, and one a widower with +three children. The ages of the whole family he made known to Mr Pancks, +as nearly as he could guess at them; and finally he described to him +the position of the Father of the Marshalsea, and the course of time and +events through which he had become invested with that character. To +all this, Mr Pancks, snorting and blowing in a more and more portentous +manner as he became more interested, listened with great attention; +appearing to derive the most agreeable sensations from the painfullest +parts of the narrative, and particularly to be quite charmed by the +account of William Dorrit's long imprisonment. + +'In conclusion, Mr Pancks,' said Arthur, 'I have but to say this. I have +reasons beyond a personal regard for speaking as little as I can of the +Dorrit family, particularly at my mother's house' (Mr Pancks nodded), +'and for knowing as much as I can. So devoted a man of business as you +are--eh?' + +For Mr Pancks had suddenly made that blowing effort with unusual force. + +'It's nothing,' said Pancks. + +'So devoted a man of business as yourself has a perfect understanding of +a fair bargain. I wish to make a fair bargain with you, that you shall +enlighten me concerning the Dorrit family when you have it in your +power, as I have enlightened you. It may not give you a very flattering +idea of my business habits, that I failed to make my terms beforehand,' +continued Clennam; 'but I prefer to make them a point of honour. I have +seen so much business done on sharp principles that, to tell you the +truth, Mr Pancks, I am tired of them.' + +Mr Pancks laughed. 'It's a bargain, sir,' said he. 'You shall find me +stick to it.' + +After that, he stood a little while looking at Clennam, and biting his +ten nails all round; evidently while he fixed in his mind what he had +been told, and went over it carefully, before the means of supplying a +gap in his memory should be no longer at hand. 'It's all right,' he said +at last, 'and now I'll wish you good day, as it's collecting day in the +Yard. By-the-bye, though. A lame foreigner with a stick.' + +'Ay, ay. You do take a reference sometimes, I see?' said Clennam. + +'When he can pay, sir,' replied Pancks. 'Take all you can get, and +keep back all you can't be forced to give up. That's business. The lame +foreigner with the stick wants a top room down the Yard. Is he good for +it?' + +'I am,' said Clennam, 'and I will answer for him.' + +'That's enough. What I must have of Bleeding Heart Yard,' said Pancks, +making a note of the case in his book, 'is my bond. I want my bond, you +see. Pay up, or produce your property! That's the watchword down the +Yard. The lame foreigner with the stick represented that you sent him; +but he could represent (as far as that goes) that the Great Mogul sent +him. He has been in the hospital, I believe?' + +'Yes. Through having met with an accident. He is only just now +discharged.' + +'It's pauperising a man, sir, I have been shown, to let him into a +hospital?' said Pancks. And again blew off that remarkable sound. + +'I have been shown so too,' said Clennam, coldly. + +Mr Pancks, being by that time quite ready for a start, got under steam +in a moment, and, without any other signal or ceremony, was snorting +down the step-ladder and working into Bleeding Heart Yard, before he +seemed to be well out of the counting-house. + +Throughout the remainder of the day, Bleeding Heart Yard was in +consternation, as the grim Pancks cruised in it; haranguing the +inhabitants on their backslidings in respect of payment, demanding his +bond, breathing notices to quit and executions, running down defaulters, +sending a swell of terror on before him, and leaving it in his wake. +Knots of people, impelled by a fatal attraction, lurked outside any +house in which he was known to be, listening for fragments of his +discourses to the inmates; and, when he was rumoured to be coming down +the stairs, often could not disperse so quickly but that he would be +prematurely in among them, demanding their own arrears, and rooting them +to the spot. Throughout the remainder of the day, Mr Pancks's What were +they up to? and What did they mean by it? sounded all over the Yard. Mr +Pancks wouldn't hear of excuses, wouldn't hear of complaints, wouldn't +hear of repairs, wouldn't hear of anything but unconditional money down. +Perspiring and puffing and darting about in eccentric directions, and +becoming hotter and dingier every moment, he lashed the tide of the yard +into a most agitated and turbid state. It had not settled down into calm +water again full two hours after he had been seen fuming away on the +horizon at the top of the steps. + +There were several small assemblages of the Bleeding Hearts at the +popular points of meeting in the Yard that night, among whom it was +universally agreed that Mr Pancks was a hard man to have to do with; and +that it was much to be regretted, so it was, that a gentleman like Mr +Casby should put his rents in his hands, and never know him in his true +light. For (said the Bleeding Hearts), if a gentleman with that head of +hair and them eyes took his rents into his own hands, ma'am, there +would be none of this worriting and wearing, and things would be very +different. + +At which identical evening hour and minute, the Patriarch--who had +floated serenely through the Yard in the forenoon before the harrying +began, with the express design of getting up this trustfulness in his +shining bumps and silken locks--at which identical hour and minute, +that first-rate humbug of a thousand guns was heavily floundering in the +little Dock of his exhausted Tug at home, and was saying, as he turned +his thumbs: + +'A very bad day's work, Pancks, very bad day's work. It seems to me, +sir, and I must insist on making this observation forcibly in justice to +myself, that you ought to have got much more money, much more money.' + + + + +CHAPTER 24. Fortune-Telling + + +Little Dorrit received a call that same evening from Mr Plornish, who, +having intimated that he wished to speak to her privately, in a series +of coughs so very noticeable as to favour the idea that her father, as +regarded her seamstress occupation, was an illustration of the axiom +that there are no such stone-blind men as those who will not see, +obtained an audience with her on the common staircase outside the door. + +'There's been a lady at our place to-day, Miss Dorrit,' Plornish +growled, 'and another one along with her as is a old wixen if ever I met +with such. The way she snapped a person's head off, dear me!' + +The mild Plornish was at first quite unable to get his mind away from Mr +F.'s Aunt. 'For,' said he, to excuse himself, 'she is, I do assure you, +the winegariest party.' + +At length, by a great effort, he detached himself from the subject +sufficiently to observe: + +'But she's neither here nor there just at present. The other lady, she's +Mr Casby's daughter; and if Mr Casby an't well off, none better, it an't +through any fault of Pancks. For, as to Pancks, he does, he really does, +he does indeed!' + +Mr Plornish, after his usual manner, was a little obscure, but +conscientiously emphatic. + +'And what she come to our place for,' he pursued, 'was to leave word +that if Miss Dorrit would step up to that card--which it's Mr Casby's +house that is, and Pancks he has a office at the back, where he really +does, beyond belief--she would be glad for to engage her. She was a old +and a dear friend, she said particular, of Mr Clennam, and hoped for to +prove herself a useful friend to _his_ friend. Them was her words. Wishing +to know whether Miss Dorrit could come to-morrow morning, I said I would +see you, Miss, and inquire, and look round there to-night, to say yes, +or, if you was engaged to-morrow, when?' + +'I can go to-morrow, thank you,' said Little Dorrit. 'This is very kind +of you, but you are always kind.' + +Mr Plornish, with a modest disavowal of his merits, opened the room door +for her readmission, and followed her in with such an exceedingly bald +pretence of not having been out at all, that her father might +have observed it without being very suspicious. In his affable +unconsciousness, however, he took no heed. Plornish, after a little +conversation, in which he blended his former duty as a Collegian with +his present privilege as a humble outside friend, qualified again by his +low estate as a plasterer, took his leave; making the tour of the prison +before he left, and looking on at a game of skittles with the mixed +feelings of an old inhabitant who had his private reasons for believing +that it might be his destiny to come back again. + +Early in the morning, Little Dorrit, leaving Maggy in high domestic +trust, set off for the Patriarchal tent. She went by the Iron Bridge, +though it cost her a penny, and walked more slowly in that part of her +journey than in any other. At five minutes before eight her hand was on +the Patriarchal knocker, which was quite as high as she could reach. + +She gave Mrs Finching's card to the young woman who opened the door, and +the young woman told her that 'Miss Flora'--Flora having, on her return +to the parental roof, reinvested herself with the title under which she +had lived there--was not yet out of her bedroom, but she was to please +to walk up into Miss Flora's sitting-room. She walked up into +Miss Flora's sitting-room, as in duty bound, and there found a +breakfast-table comfortably laid for two, with a supplementary tray +upon it laid for one. The young woman, disappearing for a few moments, +returned to say that she was to please to take a chair by the fire, +and to take off her bonnet and make herself at home. But Little Dorrit, +being bashful, and not used to make herself at home on such occasions, +felt at a loss how to do it; so she was still sitting near the door with +her bonnet on, when Flora came in in a hurry half an hour afterwards. + +Flora was so sorry to have kept her waiting, and good gracious why did +she sit out there in the cold when she had expected to find her by the +fire reading the paper, and hadn't that heedless girl given her the +message then, and had she really been in her bonnet all this time, and +pray for goodness sake let Flora take it off! Flora taking it off in the +best-natured manner in the world, was so struck with the face disclosed, +that she said, 'Why, what a good little thing you are, my dear!' and +pressed her face between her hands like the gentlest of women. + +It was the word and the action of a moment. Little Dorrit had hardly +time to think how kind it was, when Flora dashed at the breakfast-table +full of business, and plunged over head and ears into loquacity. + +'Really so sorry that I should happen to be late on this morning of all +mornings because my intention and my wish was to be ready to meet you +when you came in and to say that any one that interested Arthur Clennam +half so much must interest me and that I gave you the heartiest welcome +and was so glad, instead of which they never called me and there I +still am snoring I dare say if the truth was known and if you don't like +either cold fowl or hot boiled ham which many people don't I dare say +besides Jews and theirs are scruples of conscience which we must all +respect though I must say I wish they had them equally strong when they +sell us false articles for real that certainly ain't worth the money I +shall be quite vexed,' said Flora. + +Little Dorrit thanked her, and said, shyly, bread-and-butter and tea was +all she usually-- + +'Oh nonsense my dear child I can never hear of that,' said Flora, +turning on the urn in the most reckless manner, and making herself wink +by splashing hot water into her eyes as she bent down to look into the +teapot. 'You are coming here on the footing of a friend and companion +you know if you will let me take that liberty and I should be ashamed +of myself indeed if you could come here upon any other, besides which +Arthur Clennam spoke in such terms--you are tired my dear.' + +'No, ma'am.' + +'You turn so pale you have walked too far before breakfast and I dare +say live a great way off and ought to have had a ride,' said Flora, +'dear dear is there anything that would do you good?' + +'Indeed I am quite well, ma'am. I thank you again and again, but I am +quite well.' + +'Then take your tea at once I beg,' said Flora, 'and this wing of fowl +and bit of ham, don't mind me or wait for me, because I always carry in +this tray myself to Mr F.'s Aunt who breakfasts in bed and a charming +old lady too and very clever, Portrait of Mr F. behind the door and very +like though too much forehead and as to a pillar with a marble pavement +and balustrades and a mountain, I never saw him near it nor not likely +in the wine trade, excellent man but not at all in that way.' + +Little Dorrit glanced at the portrait, very imperfectly following the +references to that work of art. + +'Mr F. was so devoted to me that he never could bear me out of his +sight,' said Flora, 'though of course I am unable to say how long that +might have lasted if he hadn't been cut short while I was a new broom, +worthy man but not poetical manly prose but not romance.' + +Little Dorrit glanced at the portrait again. The artist had given it a +head that would have been, in an intellectual point of view, top-heavy +for Shakespeare. + +'Romance, however,' Flora went on, busily arranging Mr F.'s Aunt's +toast, 'as I openly said to Mr F. when he proposed to me and you will be +surprised to hear that he proposed seven times once in a hackney-coach +once in a boat once in a pew once on a donkey at Tunbridge Wells and the +rest on his knees, Romance was fled with the early days of Arthur +Clennam, our parents tore us asunder we became marble and stern reality +usurped the throne, Mr F. said very much to his credit that he was +perfectly aware of it and even preferred that state of things +accordingly the word was spoken the fiat went forth and such is life you +see my dear and yet we do not break but bend, pray make a good breakfast +while I go in with the tray.' + +She disappeared, leaving Little Dorrit to ponder over the meaning of her +scattered words. She soon came back again; and at last began to take her +own breakfast, talking all the while. + +'You see, my dear,' said Flora, measuring out a spoonful or two of some +brown liquid that smelt like brandy, and putting it into her tea, 'I am +obliged to be careful to follow the directions of my medical man though +the flavour is anything but agreeable being a poor creature and it may +be have never recovered the shock received in youth from too much giving +way to crying in the next room when separated from Arthur, have you +known him long?' + +As soon as Little Dorrit comprehended that she had been asked this +question--for which time was necessary, the galloping pace of her new +patroness having left her far behind--she answered that she had known Mr +Clennam ever since his return. + +'To be sure you couldn't have known him before unless you had been in +China or had corresponded neither of which is likely,' returned Flora, +'for travelling-people usually get more or less mahogany and you are not +at all so and as to corresponding what about? that's very true unless +tea, so it was at his mother's was it really that you knew him first, +highly sensible and firm but dreadfully severe--ought to be the mother +of the man in the iron mask.' + +'Mrs Clennam has been kind to me,' said Little Dorrit. + +'Really? I am sure I am glad to hear it because as Arthur's mother it's +naturally pleasant to my feelings to have a better opinion of her than +I had before, though what she thinks of me when I run on as I am certain +to do and she sits glowering at me like Fate in a go-cart--shocking +comparison really--invalid and not her fault--I never know or can +imagine.' + +'Shall I find my work anywhere, ma'am?' asked Little Dorrit, looking +timidly about; 'can I get it?' + +'You industrious little fairy,' returned Flora, taking, in another cup +of tea, another of the doses prescribed by her medical man, 'there's +not the slightest hurry and it's better that we should begin by being +confidential about our mutual friend--too cold a word for me at least +I don't mean that, very proper expression mutual friend--than become +through mere formalities not you but me like the Spartan boy with the +fox biting him, which I hope you'll excuse my bringing up for of all +the tiresome boys that will go tumbling into every sort of company that +boy's the tiresomest.' + +Little Dorrit, her face very pale, sat down again to listen. 'Hadn't I +better work the while?' she asked. 'I can work and attend too. I would +rather, if I may.' + +Her earnestness was so expressive of her being uneasy without her work, +that Flora answered, 'Well my dear whatever you like best,' and produced +a basket of white handkerchiefs. Little Dorrit gladly put it by her +side, took out her little pocket-housewife, threaded the needle, and +began to hem. + +'What nimble fingers you have,' said Flora, 'but are you sure you are +well?' + +'Oh yes, indeed!' + +Flora put her feet upon the fender, and settled herself for a thorough +good romantic disclosure. She started off at score, tossing her head, +sighing in the most demonstrative manner, making a great deal of use +of her eyebrows, and occasionally, but not often, glancing at the quiet +face that bent over the work. + +'You must know my dear,' said Flora, 'but that I have no doubt you know +already not only because I have already thrown it out in a general way +but because I feel I carry it stamped in burning what's his names +upon my brow that before I was introduced to the late Mr F. I had +been engaged to Arthur Clennam--Mr Clennam in public where reserve is +necessary Arthur here--we were all in all to one another it was the +morning of life it was bliss it was frenzy it was everything else of +that sort in the highest degree, when rent asunder we turned to stone in +which capacity Arthur went to China and I became the statue bride of the +late Mr F.' + +Flora, uttering these words in a deep voice, enjoyed herself immensely. + +'To paint,' said she, 'the emotions of that morning when all was marble +within and Mr F.'s Aunt followed in a glass-coach which it stands to +reason must have been in shameful repair or it never could have broken +down two streets from the house and Mr F.'s Aunt brought home like the +fifth of November in a rush-bottomed chair I will not attempt, +suffice it to say that the hollow form of breakfast took place in the +dining-room downstairs that papa partaking too freely of pickled salmon +was ill for weeks and that Mr F. and myself went upon a continental +tour to Calais where the people fought for us on the pier until they +separated us though not for ever that was not yet to be.' + +The statue bride, hardly pausing for breath, went on, with the greatest +complacency, in a rambling manner sometimes incidental to flesh and +blood. + +'I will draw a veil over that dreamy life, Mr F. was in good spirits his +appetite was good he liked the cookery he considered the wine weak but +palatable and all was well, we returned to the immediate neighbourhood +of Number Thirty Little Gosling Street London Docks and settled down, +ere we had yet fully detected the housemaid in selling the feathers +out of the spare bed Gout flying upwards soared with Mr F. to another +sphere.' + +His relict, with a glance at his portrait, shook her head and wiped her +eyes. + +'I revere the memory of Mr F. as an estimable man and most indulgent +husband, only necessary to mention Asparagus and it appeared or to hint +at any little delicate thing to drink and it came like magic in a pint +bottle it was not ecstasy but it was comfort, I returned to papa's roof +and lived secluded if not happy during some years until one day papa +came smoothly blundering in and said that Arthur Clennam awaited me +below, I went below and found him ask me not what I found him except +that he was still unmarried still unchanged!' + +The dark mystery with which Flora now enshrouded herself might have +stopped other fingers than the nimble fingers that worked near her. +They worked on without pause, and the busy head bent over them watching +the stitches. + +'Ask me not,' said Flora, 'if I love him still or if he still loves me +or what the end is to be or when, we are surrounded by watchful eyes and +it may be that we are destined to pine asunder it may be never more to +be reunited not a word not a breath not a look to betray us all must +be secret as the tomb wonder not therefore that even if I should seem +comparatively cold to Arthur or Arthur should seem comparatively cold to +me we have fatal reasons it is enough if we understand them hush!' + +All of which Flora said with so much headlong vehemence as if she really +believed it. There is not much doubt that when she worked herself into +full mermaid condition, she did actually believe whatever she said in +it. + +'Hush!' repeated Flora, 'I have now told you all, confidence is +established between us hush, for Arthur's sake I will always be a friend +to you my dear girl and in Arthur's name you may always rely upon me.' + +The nimble fingers laid aside the work, and the little figure rose and +kissed her hand. 'You are very cold,' said Flora, changing to her own +natural kind-hearted manner, and gaining greatly by the change. 'Don't +work to-day. I am sure you are not well I am sure you are not strong.' + +'It is only that I feel a little overcome by your kindness, and by Mr +Clennam's kindness in confiding me to one he has known and loved so +long.' + +'Well really my dear,' said Flora, who had a decided tendency to be +always honest when she gave herself time to think about it, 'it's as +well to leave that alone now, for I couldn't undertake to say after all, +but it doesn't signify lie down a little!' + +'I have always been strong enough to do what I want to do, and I shall +be quite well directly,' returned Little Dorrit, with a faint smile. +'You have overpowered me with gratitude, that's all. If I keep near the +window for a moment I shall be quite myself.' + +Flora opened a window, sat her in a chair by it, and considerately +retired to her former place. It was a windy day, and the air stirring +on Little Dorrit's face soon brightened it. In a very few minutes she +returned to her basket of work, and her nimble fingers were as nimble as +ever. + +Quietly pursuing her task, she asked Flora if Mr Clennam had told her +where she lived? When Flora replied in the negative, Little Dorrit said +that she understood why he had been so delicate, but that she felt sure +he would approve of her confiding her secret to Flora, and that +she would therefore do so now with Flora's permission. Receiving an +encouraging answer, she condensed the narrative of her life into a few +scanty words about herself and a glowing eulogy upon her father; and +Flora took it all in with a natural tenderness that quite understood it, +and in which there was no incoherence. + +When dinner-time came, Flora drew the arm of her new charge through +hers, and led her down-stairs, and presented her to the Patriarch and Mr +Pancks, who were already in the dining-room waiting to begin. (Mr F.'s +Aunt was, for the time, laid up in ordinary in her chamber.) By those +gentlemen she was received according to their characters; the Patriarch +appearing to do her some inestimable service in saying that he was glad +to see her, glad to see her; and Mr Pancks blowing off his favourite +sound as a salute. + +In that new presence she would have been bashful enough under any +circumstances, and particularly under Flora's insisting on her +drinking a glass of wine and eating of the best that was there; but her +constraint was greatly increased by Mr Pancks. The demeanour of that +gentleman at first suggested to her mind that he might be a taker of +likenesses, so intently did he look at her, and so frequently did he +glance at the little note-book by his side. Observing that he made no +sketch, however, and that he talked about business only, she began to +have suspicions that he represented some creditor of her father's, the +balance due to whom was noted in that pocket volume. Regarded from this +point of view Mr Pancks's puffings expressed injury and impatience, and +each of his louder snorts became a demand for payment. + +But here again she was undeceived by anomalous and incongruous conduct +on the part of Mr Pancks himself. She had left the table half an hour, +and was at work alone. Flora had 'gone to lie down' in the next room, +concurrently with which retirement a smell of something to drink +had broken out in the house. The Patriarch was fast asleep, with his +philanthropic mouth open under a yellow pocket-handkerchief in the +dining-room. At this quiet time, Mr Pancks softly appeared before her, +urbanely nodding. + +'Find it a little dull, Miss Dorrit?' inquired Pancks in a low voice. + +'No, thank you, sir,' said Little Dorrit. + +'Busy, I see,' observed Mr Pancks, stealing into the room by inches. +'What are those now, Miss Dorrit?' + +'Handkerchiefs.' + +'Are they, though!' said Pancks. 'I shouldn't have thought it.' Not in +the least looking at them, but looking at Little Dorrit. 'Perhaps you +wonder who I am. Shall I tell you? I am a fortune-teller.' + +Little Dorrit now began to think he was mad. + +'I belong body and soul to my proprietor,' said Pancks; 'you saw my +proprietor having his dinner below. But I do a little in the other way, +sometimes; privately, very privately, Miss Dorrit.' + +Little Dorrit looked at him doubtfully, and not without alarm. 'I wish +you'd show me the palm of your hand,' said Pancks. 'I should like to +have a look at it. Don't let me be troublesome.' + +He was so far troublesome that he was not at all wanted there, but she +laid her work in her lap for a moment, and held out her left hand with +her thimble on it. + +'Years of toil, eh?' said Pancks, softly, touching it with his blunt +forefinger. 'But what else are we made for? Nothing. Hallo!' looking +into the lines. 'What's this with bars? It's a College! And what's this +with a grey gown and a black velvet cap? it's a father! And what's this +with a clarionet? It's an uncle! And what's this in dancing-shoes? It's +a sister! And what's this straggling about in an idle sort of a way? +It's a brother! And what's this thinking for 'em all? Why, this is you, +Miss Dorrit!' + +Her eyes met his as she looked up wonderingly into his face, and she +thought that although his were sharp eyes, he was a brighter and +gentler-looking man than she had supposed at dinner. His eyes were on +her hand again directly, and her opportunity of confirming or correcting +the impression was gone. + +'Now, the deuce is in it,' muttered Pancks, tracing out a line in her +hand with his clumsy finger, 'if this isn't me in the corner here! What +do I want here? What's behind me?' + +He carried his finger slowly down to the wrist, and round the wrist, and +affected to look at the back of the hand for what was behind him. + +'Is it any harm?' asked Little Dorrit, smiling. + +'Deuce a bit!' said Pancks. 'What do you think it's worth?' + +'I ought to ask you that. I am not the fortune-teller.' + +'True,' said Pancks. 'What's it worth? You shall live to see, Miss +Dorrit.' + +Releasing the hand by slow degrees, he drew all his fingers through his +prongs of hair, so that they stood up in their most portentous manner; +and repeated slowly, 'Remember what I say, Miss Dorrit. You shall live +to see.' + +She could not help showing that she was much surprised, if it were only +by his knowing so much about her. + +'Ah! That's it!' said Pancks, pointing at her. 'Miss Dorrit, not that, +ever!' + +More surprised than before, and a little more frightened, she looked to +him for an explanation of his last words. + +'Not that,' said Pancks, making, with great seriousness, an imitation +of a surprised look and manner that appeared to be unintentionally +grotesque. 'Don't do that. Never on seeing me, no matter when, no matter +where. I am nobody. Don't take on to mind me. Don't mention me. Take no +notice. Will you agree, Miss Dorrit?' + +'I hardly know what to say,' returned Little Dorrit, quite astounded. +'Why?' + +'Because I am a fortune-teller. Pancks the gipsy. I haven't told you so +much of your fortune yet, Miss Dorrit, as to tell you what's behind +me on that little hand. I have told you you shall live to see. Is it +agreed, Miss Dorrit?' + +'Agreed that I--am--to--' + +'To take no notice of me away from here, unless I take on first. Not +to mind me when I come and go. It's very easy. I am no loss, I am not +handsome, I am not good company, I am only my proprietors grubber. +You need do no more than think, "Ah! Pancks the gipsy at his +fortune-telling--he'll tell the rest of my fortune one day--I shall live +to know it." Is it agreed, Miss Dorrit?' + +'Ye-es,' faltered Little Dorrit, whom he greatly confused, 'I suppose +so, while you do no harm.' + +'Good!' Mr Pancks glanced at the wall of the adjoining room, and stooped +forward. 'Honest creature, woman of capital points, but heedless and +a loose talker, Miss Dorrit.' With that he rubbed his hands as if the +interview had been very satisfactory to him, panted away to the door, +and urbanely nodded himself out again. + +If Little Dorrit were beyond measure perplexed by this curious conduct +on the part of her new acquaintance, and by finding herself involved +in this singular treaty, her perplexity was not diminished by ensuing +circumstances. Besides that Mr Pancks took every opportunity afforded +him in Mr Casby's house of significantly glancing at her and snorting +at her--which was not much, after what he had done already--he began to +pervade her daily life. She saw him in the street, constantly. When she +went to Mr Casby's, he was always there. When she went to Mrs Clennam's, +he came there on any pretence, as if to keep her in his sight. A week +had not gone by, when she found him to her astonishment in the Lodge one +night, conversing with the turnkey on duty, and to all appearance one +of his familiar companions. Her next surprise was to find him equally at +his ease within the prison; to hear of his presenting himself among +the visitors at her father's Sunday levee; to see him arm in arm with +a Collegiate friend about the yard; to learn, from Fame, that he had +greatly distinguished himself one evening at the social club that held +its meetings in the Snuggery, by addressing a speech to the members +of the institution, singing a song, and treating the company to five +gallons of ale--report madly added a bushel of shrimps. The effect on +Mr Plornish of such of these phenomena as he became an eye-witness of in +his faithful visits, made an impression on Little Dorrit only second to +that produced by the phenomena themselves. They seemed to gag and bind +him. He could only stare, and sometimes weakly mutter that it wouldn't +be believed down Bleeding Heart Yard that this was Pancks; but he never +said a word more, or made a sign more, even to Little Dorrit. Mr Pancks +crowned his mysteries by making himself acquainted with Tip in some +unknown manner, and taking a Sunday saunter into the College on that +gentleman's arm. Throughout he never took any notice of Little Dorrit, +save once or twice when he happened to come close to her and there +was no one very near; on which occasions, he said in passing, +with a friendly look and a puff of encouragement, 'Pancks the +gipsy--fortune-telling.' + +Little Dorrit worked and strove as usual, wondering at all this, but +keeping her wonder, as she had from her earliest years kept many heavier +loads, in her own breast. A change had stolen, and was stealing yet, +over the patient heart. Every day found her something more retiring +than the day before. To pass in and out of the prison unnoticed, and +elsewhere to be overlooked and forgotten, were, for herself, her chief +desires. + +To her own room too, strangely assorted room for her delicate youth +and character, she was glad to retreat as often as she could without +desertion of any duty. There were afternoon times when she was +unemployed, when visitors dropped in to play a hand at cards with her +father, when she could be spared and was better away. Then she would +flit along the yard, climb the scores of stairs that led to her room, +and take her seat at the window. Many combinations did those spikes +upon the wall assume, many light shapes did the strong iron weave itself +into, many golden touches fell upon the rust, while Little Dorrit sat +there musing. New zig-zags sprung into the cruel pattern sometimes, when +she saw it through a burst of tears; but beautified or hardened still, +always over it and under it and through it, she was fain to look in her +solitude, seeing everything with that ineffaceable brand. + +A garret, and a Marshalsea garret without compromise, was Little +Dorrit's room. Beautifully kept, it was ugly in itself, and had little +but cleanliness and air to set it off; for what embellishment she had +ever been able to buy, had gone to her father's room. Howbeit, for this +poor place she showed an increasing love; and to sit in it alone became +her favourite rest. + +Insomuch, that on a certain afternoon during the Pancks mysteries, when +she was seated at her window, and heard Maggy's well-known step coming +up the stairs, she was very much disturbed by the apprehension of being +summoned away. As Maggy's step came higher up and nearer, she trembled +and faltered; and it was as much as she could do to speak, when Maggy at +length appeared. + +'Please, Little Mother,' said Maggy, panting for breath, 'you must come +down and see him. He's here.' + +'Who, Maggy?' + +'Who, o' course Mr Clennam. He's in your father's room, and he says to +me, Maggy, will you be so kind and go and say it's only me.' + +'I am not very well, Maggy. I had better not go. I am going to lie down. +See! I lie down now, to ease my head. Say, with my grateful regard, that +you left me so, or I would have come.' + +'Well, it an't very polite though, Little Mother,' said the staring +Maggy, 'to turn your face away, neither!' + +Maggy was very susceptible to personal slights, and very ingenious in +inventing them. 'Putting both your hands afore your face too!' she went +on. 'If you can't bear the looks of a poor thing, it would be better to +tell her so at once, and not go and shut her out like that, hurting her +feelings and breaking her heart at ten year old, poor thing!' + +'It's to ease my head, Maggy.' + +'Well, and if you cry to ease your head, Little Mother, let me cry too. +Don't go and have all the crying to yourself,' expostulated Maggy, 'that +an't not being greedy.' And immediately began to blubber. + +It was with some difficulty that she could be induced to go back with +the excuse; but the promise of being told a story--of old her great +delight--on condition that she concentrated her faculties upon the +errand and left her little mistress to herself for an hour longer, +combined with a misgiving on Maggy's part that she had left her good +temper at the bottom of the staircase, prevailed. So away she went, +muttering her message all the way to keep it in her mind, and, at the +appointed time, came back. + +'He was very sorry, I can tell you,' she announced, 'and wanted to send +a doctor. And he's coming again to-morrow he is and I don't think he'll +have a good sleep to-night along o' hearing about your head, Little +Mother. Oh my! Ain't you been a-crying!' + +'I think I have, a little, Maggy.' + +'A little! Oh!' + +'But it's all over now--all over for good, Maggy. And my head is much +better and cooler, and I am quite comfortable. I am very glad I did not +go down.' + +Her great staring child tenderly embraced her; and having smoothed her +hair, and bathed her forehead and eyes with cold water (offices in which +her awkward hands became skilful), hugged her again, exulted in her +brighter looks, and stationed her in her chair by the window. Over +against this chair, Maggy, with apoplectic exertions that were not +at all required, dragged the box which was her seat on story-telling +occasions, sat down upon it, hugged her own knees, and said, with a +voracious appetite for stories, and with widely-opened eyes: + +'Now, Little Mother, let's have a good 'un!' + +'What shall it be about, Maggy?' + +'Oh, let's have a princess,' said Maggy, 'and let her be a reg'lar one. +Beyond all belief, you know!' + +Little Dorrit considered for a moment; and with a rather sad smile upon +her face, which was flushed by the sunset, began: + +'Maggy, there was once upon a time a fine King, and he had everything he +could wish for, and a great deal more. He had gold and silver, diamonds +and rubies, riches of every kind. He had palaces, and he had--' + +'Hospitals,' interposed Maggy, still nursing her knees. 'Let him have +hospitals, because they're so comfortable. Hospitals with lots of +Chicking.' + +'Yes, he had plenty of them, and he had plenty of everything.' + +'Plenty of baked potatoes, for instance?' said Maggy. + +'Plenty of everything.' + +'Lor!' chuckled Maggy, giving her knees a hug. 'Wasn't it prime!' + +'This King had a daughter, who was the wisest and most beautiful +Princess that ever was seen. When she was a child she understood all her +lessons before her masters taught them to her; and when she was grown +up, she was the wonder of the world. Now, near the Palace where this +Princess lived, there was a cottage in which there was a poor little +tiny woman, who lived all alone by herself.' + +'An old woman,' said Maggy, with an unctuous smack of her lips. + +'No, not an old woman. Quite a young one.' + +'I wonder she warn't afraid,' said Maggy. 'Go on, please.' + +'The Princess passed the cottage nearly every day, and whenever she went +by in her beautiful carriage, she saw the poor tiny woman spinning at +her wheel, and she looked at the tiny woman, and the tiny woman looked +at her. So, one day she stopped the coachman a little way from the +cottage, and got out and walked on and peeped in at the door, and there, +as usual, was the tiny woman spinning at her wheel, and she looked at +the Princess, and the Princess looked at her.' + +'Like trying to stare one another out,' said Maggy. 'Please go on, +Little Mother.' + +'The Princess was such a wonderful Princess that she had the power of +knowing secrets, and she said to the tiny woman, Why do you keep it +there? This showed her directly that the Princess knew why she lived +all alone by herself spinning at her wheel, and she kneeled down at +the Princess's feet, and asked her never to betray her. So the Princess +said, I never will betray you. Let me see it. So the tiny woman closed +the shutter of the cottage window and fastened the door, and trembling +from head to foot for fear that any one should suspect her, opened a +very secret place and showed the Princess a shadow.' + +'Lor!' said Maggy. + +'It was the shadow of Some one who had gone by long before: of Some one +who had gone on far away quite out of reach, never, never to come back. +It was bright to look at; and when the tiny woman showed it to the +Princess, she was proud of it with all her heart, as a great, great +treasure. When the Princess had considered it a little while, she said +to the tiny woman, And you keep watch over this every day? And she cast +down her eyes, and whispered, Yes. Then the Princess said, Remind me +why. To which the other replied, that no one so good and kind had ever +passed that way, and that was why in the beginning. She said, too, that +nobody missed it, that nobody was the worse for it, that Some one had +gone on, to those who were expecting him--' + +'Some one was a man then?' interposed Maggy. + +Little Dorrit timidly said Yes, she believed so; and resumed: + +'--Had gone on to those who were expecting him, and that this +remembrance was stolen or kept back from nobody. The Princess made +answer, Ah! But when the cottager died it would be discovered there. The +tiny woman told her No; when that time came, it would sink quietly into +her own grave, and would never be found.' + +'Well, to be sure!' said Maggy. 'Go on, please.' + +'The Princess was very much astonished to hear this, as you may suppose, +Maggy.' + +('And well she might be,' said Maggy.) + +'So she resolved to watch the tiny woman, and see what came of it. Every +day she drove in her beautiful carriage by the cottage-door, and there +she saw the tiny woman always alone by herself spinning at her wheel, +and she looked at the tiny woman, and the tiny woman looked at her. At +last one day the wheel was still, and the tiny woman was not to be seen. +When the Princess made inquiries why the wheel had stopped, and where +the tiny woman was, she was informed that the wheel had stopped because +there was nobody to turn it, the tiny woman being dead.' + +('They ought to have took her to the Hospital,' said Maggy, and then +she'd have got over it.') + +'The Princess, after crying a very little for the loss of the tiny +woman, dried her eyes and got out of her carriage at the place where +she had stopped it before, and went to the cottage and peeped in at the +door. There was nobody to look at her now, and nobody for her to look +at, so she went in at once to search for the treasured shadow. But there +was no sign of it to be found anywhere; and then she knew that the tiny +woman had told her the truth, and that it would never give anybody any +trouble, and that it had sunk quietly into her own grave, and that she +and it were at rest together. + +'That's all, Maggy.' + +The sunset flush was so bright on Little Dorrit's face when she came +thus to the end of her story, that she interposed her hand to shade it. + +'Had she got to be old?' Maggy asked. + +'The tiny woman?' + +'Ah!' + +'I don't know,' said Little Dorrit. 'But it would have been just the +same if she had been ever so old.' + +'Would it raly!' said Maggy. 'Well, I suppose it would though.' And sat +staring and ruminating. + +She sat so long with her eyes wide open, that at length Little Dorrit, +to entice her from her box, rose and looked out of window. As she +glanced down into the yard, she saw Pancks come in and leer up with the +corner of his eye as he went by. + +'Who's he, Little Mother?' said Maggy. She had joined her at the window +and was leaning on her shoulder. 'I see him come in and out often.' + +'I have heard him called a fortune-teller,' said Little Dorrit. 'But I +doubt if he could tell many people even their past or present fortunes.' + +'Couldn't have told the Princess hers?' said Maggy. + +Little Dorrit, looking musingly down into the dark valley of the prison, +shook her head. + +'Nor the tiny woman hers?' said Maggy. + +'No,' said Little Dorrit, with the sunset very bright upon her. 'But let +us come away from the window.' + + + + +CHAPTER 25. Conspirators and Others + + +The private residence of Mr Pancks was in Pentonville, where he lodged +on the second-floor of a professional gentleman in an extremely small +way, who had an inner-door within the street door, poised on a spring +and starting open with a click like a trap; and who wrote up in the +fan-light, RUGG, GENERAL AGENT, ACCOUNTANT, DEBTS RECOVERED. + +This scroll, majestic in its severe simplicity, illuminated a little +slip of front garden abutting on the thirsty high-road, where a few +of the dustiest of leaves hung their dismal heads and led a life of +choking. A professor of writing occupied the first-floor, and enlivened +the garden railings with glass-cases containing choice examples of what +his pupils had been before six lessons and while the whole of his young +family shook the table, and what they had become after six lessons +when the young family was under restraint. The tenancy of Mr Pancks was +limited to one airy bedroom; he covenanting and agreeing with Mr Rugg +his landlord, that in consideration of a certain scale of payments +accurately defined, and on certain verbal notice duly given, he should +be at liberty to elect to share the Sunday breakfast, dinner, tea, or +supper, or each or any or all of those repasts or meals of Mr and Miss +Rugg (his daughter) in the back-parlour. + +Miss Rugg was a lady of a little property which she had acquired, +together with much distinction in the neighbourhood, by having her +heart severely lacerated and her feelings mangled by a middle-aged baker +resident in the vicinity, against whom she had, by the agency of Mr +Rugg, found it necessary to proceed at law to recover damages for a +breach of promise of marriage. The baker having been, by the counsel for +Miss Rugg, witheringly denounced on that occasion up to the full amount +of twenty guineas, at the rate of about eighteen-pence an epithet, and +having been cast in corresponding damages, still suffered occasional +persecution from the youth of Pentonville. But Miss Rugg, environed by +the majesty of the law, and having her damages invested in the public +securities, was regarded with consideration. + +In the society of Mr Rugg, who had a round white visage, as if all his +blushes had been drawn out of him long ago, and who had a ragged yellow +head like a worn-out hearth broom; and in the society of Miss Rugg, who +had little nankeen spots, like shirt buttons, all over her face, and +whose own yellow tresses were rather scrubby than luxuriant; Mr Pancks +had usually dined on Sundays for some few years, and had twice a week, +or so, enjoyed an evening collation of bread, Dutch cheese, and porter. +Mr Pancks was one of the very few marriageable men for whom Miss Rugg +had no terrors, the argument with which he reassured himself being +twofold; that is to say, firstly, 'that it wouldn't do twice,' and +secondly, 'that he wasn't worth it.' Fortified within this double +armour, Mr Pancks snorted at Miss Rugg on easy terms. + +Up to this time, Mr Pancks had transacted little or no business at his +quarters in Pentonville, except in the sleeping line; but now that he +had become a fortune-teller, he was often closeted after midnight +with Mr Rugg in his little front-parlour office, and even after those +untimely hours, burnt tallow in his bed-room. Though his duties as his +proprietor's grubber were in no wise lessened; and though that service +bore no greater resemblance to a bed of roses than was to be discovered +in its many thorns; some new branch of industry made a constant demand +upon him. When he cast off the Patriarch at night, it was only to take +an anonymous craft in tow, and labour away afresh in other waters. + +The advance from a personal acquaintance with the elder Mr Chivery to +an introduction to his amiable wife and disconsolate son, may have been +easy; but easy or not, Mr Pancks soon made it. He nestled in the bosom +of the tobacco business within a week or two after his first appearance +in the College, and particularly addressed himself to the cultivation of +a good understanding with Young John. In this endeavour he so prospered +as to lure that pining shepherd forth from the groves, and tempt him +to undertake mysterious missions; on which he began to disappear at +uncertain intervals for as long a space as two or three days together. +The prudent Mrs Chivery, who wondered greatly at this change, would have +protested against it as detrimental to the Highland typification on the +doorpost but for two forcible reasons; one, that her John was roused to +take strong interest in the business which these starts were supposed +to advance--and this she held to be good for his drooping spirits; +the other, that Mr Pancks confidentially agreed to pay her, for the +occupation of her son's time, at the handsome rate of seven and sixpence +per day. The proposal originated with himself, and was couched in the +pithy terms, 'If your John is weak enough, ma'am, not to take it, +that is no reason why you should be, don't you see? So, quite between +ourselves, ma'am, business being business, here it is!' + +What Mr Chivery thought of these things, or how much or how little he +knew about them, was never gathered from himself. It has been already +remarked that he was a man of few words; and it may be here observed +that he had imbibed a professional habit of locking everything up. He +locked himself up as carefully as he locked up the Marshalsea debtors. +Even his custom of bolting his meals may have been a part of an uniform +whole; but there is no question, that, as to all other purposes, he kept +his mouth as he kept the Marshalsea door. He never opened it without +occasion. When it was necessary to let anything out, he opened it a +little way, held it open just as long as sufficed for the purpose, and +locked it again. Even as he would be sparing of his trouble at the +Marshalsea door, and would keep a visitor who wanted to go out, waiting +for a few moments if he saw another visitor coming down the yard, so +that one turn of the key should suffice for both, similarly he would +often reserve a remark if he perceived another on its way to his lips, +and would deliver himself of the two together. As to any key to his +inner knowledge being to be found in his face, the Marshalsea key was as +legible as an index to the individual characters and histories upon +which it was turned. + +That Mr Pancks should be moved to invite any one to dinner at +Pentonville, was an unprecedented fact in his calendar. But he invited +Young John to dinner, and even brought him within range of the dangerous +(because expensive) fascinations of Miss Rugg. The banquet was appointed +for a Sunday, and Miss Rugg with her own hands stuffed a leg of mutton +with oysters on the occasion, and sent it to the baker's--not _the_ +baker's but an opposition establishment. Provision of oranges, apples, +and nuts was also made. And rum was brought home by Mr Pancks on +Saturday night, to gladden the visitor's heart. + +The store of creature comforts was not the chief part of the visitor's +reception. Its special feature was a foregone family confidence and +sympathy. When Young John appeared at half-past one without the ivory +hand and waistcoat of golden sprigs, the sun shorn of his beams by +disastrous clouds, Mr Pancks presented him to the yellow-haired Ruggs as +the young man he had so often mentioned who loved Miss Dorrit. + +'I am glad,' said Mr Rugg, challenging him specially in that character, +'to have the distinguished gratification of making your acquaintance, +sir. Your feelings do you honour. You are young; may you never outlive +your feelings! If I was to outlive my own feelings, sir,' said Mr Rugg, +who was a man of many words, and was considered to possess a remarkably +good address; 'if I was to outlive my own feelings, I'd leave fifty +pound in my will to the man who would put me out of existence.' + +Miss Rugg heaved a sigh. + +'My daughter, sir,' said Mr Rugg. 'Anastatia, you are no stranger to the +state of this young man's affections. My daughter has had her trials, +sir'--Mr Rugg might have used the word more pointedly in the singular +number--'and she can feel for you.' + +Young John, almost overwhelmed by the touching nature of this greeting, +professed himself to that effect. + +'What I envy you, sir, is,' said Mr Rugg, 'allow me to take your hat--we +are rather short of pegs--I'll put it in the corner, nobody will tread +on it there--What I envy you, sir, is the luxury of your own feelings. I +belong to a profession in which that luxury is sometimes denied us.' + +Young John replied, with acknowledgments, that he only hoped he did what +was right, and what showed how entirely he was devoted to Miss Dorrit. +He wished to be unselfish; and he hoped he was. He wished to do anything +as laid in his power to serve Miss Dorrit, altogether putting himself +out of sight; and he hoped he did. It was but little that he could do, +but he hoped he did it. + +'Sir,' said Mr Rugg, taking him by the hand, 'you are a young man that +it does one good to come across. You are a young man that I should +like to put in the witness-box, to humanise the minds of the legal +profession. I hope you have brought your appetite with you, and intend +to play a good knife and fork?' + +'Thank you, sir,' returned Young John, 'I don't eat much at present.' + +Mr Rugg drew him a little apart. 'My daughter's case, sir,' said he, 'at +the time when, in vindication of her outraged feelings and her sex, she +became the plaintiff in Rugg and Bawkins. I suppose I could have put it +in evidence, Mr Chivery, if I had thought it worth my while, that the +amount of solid sustenance my daughter consumed at that period did not +exceed ten ounces per week.' + +'I think I go a little beyond that, sir,' returned the other, +hesitating, as if he confessed it with some shame. + +'But in your case there's no fiend in human form,' said Mr Rugg, with +argumentative smile and action of hand. 'Observe, Mr Chivery! +No fiend in human form!' + +'No, sir, certainly,' Young John added with simplicity, 'I should be +very sorry if there was.' + +'The sentiment,' said Mr Rugg, 'is what I should have expected from your +known principles. It would affect my daughter greatly, sir, if she heard +it. As I perceive the mutton, I am glad she didn't hear it. Mr Pancks, +on this occasion, pray face me. My dear, face Mr Chivery. For what we +are going to receive, may we (and Miss Dorrit) be truly thankful!' + +But for a grave waggishness in Mr Rugg's manner of delivering this +introduction to the feast, it might have appeared that Miss Dorrit was +expected to be one of the company. Pancks recognised the sally in +his usual way, and took in his provender in his usual way. Miss Rugg, +perhaps making up some of her arrears, likewise took very kindly to +the mutton, and it rapidly diminished to the bone. A bread-and-butter +pudding entirely disappeared, and a considerable amount of cheese and +radishes vanished by the same means. Then came the dessert. + +Then also, and before the broaching of the rum and water, came Mr +Pancks's note-book. The ensuing business proceedings were brief but +curious, and rather in the nature of a conspiracy. Mr Pancks looked over +his note-book, which was now getting full, studiously; and picked out +little extracts, which he wrote on separate slips of paper on the table; +Mr Rugg, in the meanwhile, looking at him with close attention, and +Young John losing his uncollected eye in mists of meditation. When Mr +Pancks, who supported the character of chief conspirator, had completed +his extracts, he looked them over, corrected them, put up his note-book, +and held them like a hand at cards. + +'Now, there's a churchyard in Bedfordshire,' said Pancks. 'Who takes +it?' + +'I'll take it, sir,' returned Mr Rugg, 'if no one bids.' + +Mr Pancks dealt him his card, and looked at his hand again. + +'Now, there's an Enquiry in York,' said Pancks. 'Who takes it?' + +'I'm not good for York,' said Mr Rugg. + +'Then perhaps,' pursued Pancks, 'you'll be so obliging, John Chivery?' + +Young John assenting, Pancks dealt him his card, and consulted his hand +again. + +'There's a Church in London; I may as well take that. And a Family +Bible; I may as well take that, too. That's two to me. Two to me,' +repeated Pancks, breathing hard over his cards. 'Here's a Clerk at +Durham for you, John, and an old seafaring gentleman at Dunstable for +you, Mr Rugg. Two to me, was it? Yes, two to me. Here's a Stone; three +to me. And a Still-born Baby; four to me. And all, for the present, +told.' + +When he had thus disposed of his cards, all being done very quietly and +in a suppressed tone, Mr Pancks puffed his way into his own +breast-pocket and tugged out a canvas bag; from which, with a sparing +hand, he told forth money for travelling expenses in two little +portions. 'Cash goes out fast,' he said anxiously, as he pushed a +portion to each of his male companions, 'very fast.' + +'I can only assure you, Mr Pancks,' said Young John, 'that I deeply +regret my circumstances being such that I can't afford to pay my own +charges, or that it's not advisable to allow me the time necessary for +my doing the distances on foot; because nothing would give me greater +satisfaction than to walk myself off my legs without fee or reward.' + +This young man's disinterestedness appeared so very ludicrous in +the eyes of Miss Rugg, that she was obliged to effect a precipitate +retirement from the company, and to sit upon the stairs until she had +had her laugh out. Meanwhile Mr Pancks, looking, not without some pity, +at Young John, slowly and thoughtfully twisted up his canvas bag as if +he were wringing its neck. The lady, returning as he restored it to his +pocket, mixed rum and water for the party, not forgetting her fair self, +and handed to every one his glass. When all were supplied, Mr Rugg rose, +and silently holding out his glass at arm's length above the centre of +the table, by that gesture invited the other three to add theirs, and to +unite in a general conspiratorial clink. The ceremony was effective up +to a certain point, and would have been wholly so throughout, if Miss +Rugg, as she raised her glass to her lips in completion of it, had not +happened to look at Young John; when she was again so overcome by the +contemptible comicality of his disinterestedness as to splutter some +ambrosial drops of rum and water around, and withdraw in confusion. + +Such was the dinner without precedent, given by Pancks at Pentonville; +and such was the busy and strange life Pancks led. The only waking +moments at which he appeared to relax from his cares, and to recreate +himself by going anywhere or saying anything without a pervading object, +were when he showed a dawning interest in the lame foreigner with the +stick, down Bleeding Heart Yard. + +The foreigner, by name John Baptist Cavalletto--they called him Mr +Baptist in the Yard--was such a chirping, easy, hopeful little fellow, +that his attraction for Pancks was probably in the force of contrast. +Solitary, weak, and scantily acquainted with the most necessary words +of the only language in which he could communicate with the people about +him, he went with the stream of his fortunes, in a brisk way that was +new in those parts. With little to eat, and less to drink, and nothing +to wear but what he wore upon him, or had brought tied up in one of the +smallest bundles that ever were seen, he put as bright a face upon it as +if he were in the most flourishing circumstances when he first hobbled +up and down the Yard, humbly propitiating the general good-will with his +white teeth. + +It was uphill work for a foreigner, lame or sound, to make his way with +the Bleeding Hearts. In the first place, they were vaguely persuaded +that every foreigner had a knife about him; in the second, they held it +to be a sound constitutional national axiom that he ought to go home to +his own country. They never thought of inquiring how many of their own +countrymen would be returned upon their hands from divers parts of the +world, if the principle were generally recognised; they considered it +particularly and peculiarly British. In the third place, they had a +notion that it was a sort of Divine visitation upon a foreigner that he +was not an Englishman, and that all kinds of calamities happened to +his country because it did things that England did not, and did not do +things that England did. In this belief, to be sure, they had long been +carefully trained by the Barnacles and Stiltstalkings, who were always +proclaiming to them, officially, that no country which failed to submit +itself to those two large families could possibly hope to be under the +protection of Providence; and who, when they believed it, disparaged +them in private as the most prejudiced people under the sun. + +This, therefore, might be called a political position of the Bleeding +Hearts; but they entertained other objections to having foreigners +in the Yard. They believed that foreigners were always badly off; and +though they were as ill off themselves as they could desire to be, +that did not diminish the force of the objection. They believed that +foreigners were dragooned and bayoneted; and though they certainly got +their own skulls promptly fractured if they showed any ill-humour, still +it was with a blunt instrument, and that didn't count. They believed +that foreigners were always immoral; and though they had an occasional +assize at home, and now and then a divorce case or so, that had nothing +to do with it. They believed that foreigners had no independent spirit, +as never being escorted to the poll in droves by Lord Decimus Tite +Barnacle, with colours flying and the tune of Rule Britannia playing. +Not to be tedious, they had many other beliefs of a similar kind. + +Against these obstacles, the lame foreigner with the stick had to make +head as well as he could; not absolutely single-handed, because Mr +Arthur Clennam had recommended him to the Plornishes (he lived at the +top of the same house), but still at heavy odds. However, the Bleeding +Hearts were kind hearts; and when they saw the little fellow cheerily +limping about with a good-humoured face, doing no harm, drawing no +knives, committing no outrageous immoralities, living chiefly on +farinaceous and milk diet, and playing with Mrs Plornish's children of +an evening, they began to think that although he could never hope to be +an Englishman, still it would be hard to visit that affliction on his +head. They began to accommodate themselves to his level, calling him 'Mr +Baptist,' but treating him like a baby, and laughing immoderately at his +lively gestures and his childish English--more, because he didn't mind +it, and laughed too. They spoke to him in very loud voices as if he +were stone deaf. They constructed sentences, by way of teaching him the +language in its purity, such as were addressed by the savages to Captain +Cook, or by Friday to Robinson Crusoe. Mrs Plornish was particularly +ingenious in this art; and attained so much celebrity for saying 'Me ope +you leg well soon,' that it was considered in the Yard but a very short +remove indeed from speaking Italian. Even Mrs Plornish herself began to +think that she had a natural call towards that language. As he became +more popular, household objects were brought into requisition for his +instruction in a copious vocabulary; and whenever he appeared in the +Yard ladies would fly out at their doors crying 'Mr Baptist--tea-pot!' +'Mr Baptist--dust-pan!' 'Mr Baptist--flour-dredger!' 'Mr +Baptist--coffee-biggin!' At the same time exhibiting those articles, +and penetrating him with a sense of the appalling difficulties of the +Anglo-Saxon tongue. + +It was in this stage of his progress, and in about the third week of his +occupation, that Mr Pancks's fancy became attracted by the little man. +Mounting to his attic, attended by Mrs Plornish as interpreter, he found +Mr Baptist with no furniture but his bed on the ground, a table, and a +chair, carving with the aid of a few simple tools, in the blithest way +possible. + +'Now, old chap,' said Mr Pancks, 'pay up!' + +He had his money ready, folded in a scrap of paper, and laughingly +handed it in; then with a free action, threw out as many fingers of his +right hand as there were shillings, and made a cut crosswise in the air +for an odd sixpence. + +'Oh!' said Mr Pancks, watching him, wonderingly. 'That's it, is it? +You're a quick customer. It's all right. I didn't expect to receive it, +though.' + +Mrs Plornish here interposed with great condescension, and explained to +Mr Baptist. 'E please. E glad get money.' + +The little man smiled and nodded. His bright face seemed uncommonly +attractive to Mr Pancks. 'How's he getting on in his limb?' he asked Mrs +Plornish. + +'Oh, he's a deal better, sir,' said Mrs Plornish. 'We expect next week +he'll be able to leave off his stick entirely.' (The opportunity +being too favourable to be lost, Mrs Plornish displayed her great +accomplishment by explaining with pardonable pride to Mr Baptist, 'E ope +you leg well soon.') + +'He's a merry fellow, too,' said Mr Pancks, admiring him as if he were a +mechanical toy. 'How does he live?' + +'Why, sir,' rejoined Mrs Plornish, 'he turns out to have quite a power +of carving them flowers that you see him at now.' (Mr Baptist, watching +their faces as they spoke, held up his work. Mrs Plornish interpreted in +her Italian manner, on behalf of Mr Pancks, 'E please. Double good!') + +'Can he live by that?' asked Mr Pancks. + +'He can live on very little, sir, and it is expected as he will be able, +in time, to make a very good living. Mr Clennam got it him to do, and +gives him odd jobs besides in at the Works next door--makes 'em for him, +in short, when he knows he wants 'em.' + +'And what does he do with himself, now, when he ain't hard at it?' said +Mr Pancks. + +'Why, not much as yet, sir, on accounts I suppose of not being able to +walk much; but he goes about the Yard, and he chats without particular +understanding or being understood, and he plays with the children, +and he sits in the sun--he'll sit down anywhere, as if it was an +arm-chair--and he'll sing, and he'll laugh!' + +'Laugh!' echoed Mr Pancks. 'He looks to me as if every tooth in his head +was always laughing.' + +'But whenever he gets to the top of the steps at t'other end of the +Yard,' said Mrs Plornish, 'he'll peep out in the curiousest way! So that +some of us thinks he's peeping out towards where his own country is, and +some of us thinks he's looking for somebody he don't want to see, and +some of us don't know what to think.' + +Mr Baptist seemed to have a general understanding of what she said; or +perhaps his quickness caught and applied her slight action of peeping. +In any case he closed his eyes and tossed his head with the air of a man +who had sufficient reasons for what he did, and said in his own tongue, +it didn't matter. Altro! + +'What's Altro?' said Pancks. + +'Hem! It's a sort of a general kind of expression, sir,' said Mrs +Plornish. + +'Is it?' said Pancks. 'Why, then Altro to you, old chap. Good afternoon. +Altro!' + +Mr Baptist in his vivacious way repeating the word several times, Mr +Pancks in his duller way gave it him back once. From that time it became +a frequent custom with Pancks the gipsy, as he went home jaded at night, +to pass round by Bleeding Heart Yard, go quietly up the stairs, look in +at Mr Baptist's door, and, finding him in his room, to say, 'Hallo, old +chap! Altro!' To which Mr Baptist would reply with innumerable bright +nods and smiles, 'Altro, signore, altro, altro, altro!' After this +highly condensed conversation, Mr Pancks would go his way with an +appearance of being lightened and refreshed. + + + + +CHAPTER 26. Nobody's State of Mind + + +If Arthur Clennam had not arrived at that wise decision firmly to +restrain himself from loving Pet, he would have lived on in a state of +much perplexity, involving difficult struggles with his own heart. Not +the least of these would have been a contention, always waging within +it, between a tendency to dislike Mr Henry Gowan, if not to regard +him with positive repugnance, and a whisper that the inclination was +unworthy. A generous nature is not prone to strong aversions, and is +slow to admit them even dispassionately; but when it finds ill-will +gaining upon it, and can discern between-whiles that its origin is not +dispassionate, such a nature becomes distressed. + +Therefore Mr Henry Gowan would have clouded Clennam's mind, and would +have been far oftener present to it than more agreeable persons and +subjects but for the great prudence of his decision aforesaid. As it +was, Mr Gowan seemed transferred to Daniel Doyce's mind; at all events, +it so happened that it usually fell to Mr Doyce's turn, rather than +to Clennam's, to speak of him in the friendly conversations they held +together. These were of frequent occurrence now; as the two partners +shared a portion of a roomy house in one of the grave old-fashioned City +streets, lying not far from the Bank of England, by London Wall. + +Mr Doyce had been to Twickenham to pass the day. Clennam had excused +himself. Mr Doyce was just come home. He put in his head at the door of +Clennam's sitting-room to say Good night. + +'Come in, come in!' said Clennam. + +'I saw you were reading,' returned Doyce, as he entered, 'and thought +you might not care to be disturbed.' + +But for the notable resolution he had made, Clennam really might not +have known what he had been reading; really might not have had his eyes +upon the book for an hour past, though it lay open before him. He shut +it up, rather quickly. + +'Are they well?' he asked. + +'Yes,' said Doyce; 'they are well. They are all well.' + +Daniel had an old workmanlike habit of carrying his pocket-handkerchief +in his hat. He took it out and wiped his forehead with it, slowly +repeating, 'They are all well. Miss Minnie looking particularly well, I +thought.' + +'Any company at the cottage?' + +'No, no company.' + +'And how did you get on, you four?' asked Clennam gaily. + +'There were five of us,' returned his partner. 'There was +What's-his-name. He was there.' + +'Who is he?' said Clennam. + +'Mr Henry Gowan.' + +'Ah, to be sure!' cried Clennam with unusual vivacity, 'Yes!--I forgot +him.' + +'As I mentioned, you may remember,' said Daniel Doyce, 'he is always +there on Sunday.' + +'Yes, yes,' returned Clennam; 'I remember now.' + +Daniel Doyce, still wiping his forehead, ploddingly repeated. 'Yes. He +was there, he was there. Oh yes, he was there. And his dog. _He_ was +there too.' + +'Miss Meagles is quite attached to--the--dog,' observed Clennam. + +'Quite so,' assented his partner. 'More attached to the dog than I am to +the man.' + +'You mean Mr--?' + +'I mean Mr Gowan, most decidedly,' said Daniel Doyce. + +There was a gap in the conversation, which Clennam devoted to winding up +his watch. + +'Perhaps you are a little hasty in your judgment,' he said. 'Our +judgments--I am supposing a general case--' + +'Of course,' said Doyce. + +'Are so liable to be influenced by many considerations, which, almost +without our knowing it, are unfair, that it is necessary to keep a guard +upon them. For instance, Mr--' + +'Gowan,' quietly said Doyce, upon whom the utterance of the name almost +always devolved. + +'Is young and handsome, easy and quick, has talent, and has seen a +good deal of various kinds of life. It might be difficult to give an +unselfish reason for being prepossessed against him.' + +'Not difficult for me, I think, Clennam,' returned his partner. 'I see +him bringing present anxiety, and, I fear, future sorrow, into my old +friend's house. I see him wearing deeper lines into my old friend's +face, the nearer he draws to, and the oftener he looks at, the face +of his daughter. In short, I see him with a net about the pretty and +affectionate creature whom he will never make happy.' + +'We don't know,' said Clennam, almost in the tone of a man in pain, +'that he will not make her happy.' + +'We don't know,' returned his partner, 'that the earth will last another +hundred years, but we think it highly probable.' + +'Well, well!' said Clennam, 'we must be hopeful, and we must at least +try to be, if not generous (which, in this case, we have no opportunity +of being), just. We will not disparage this gentleman, because he is +successful in his addresses to the beautiful object of his ambition; and +we will not question her natural right to bestow her love on one whom +she finds worthy of it.' + +'Maybe, my friend,' said Doyce. 'Maybe also, that she is too young and +petted, too confiding and inexperienced, to discriminate well.' + +'That,' said Clennam, 'would be far beyond our power of correction.' + +Daniel Doyce shook his head gravely, and rejoined, 'I fear so.' + +'Therefore, in a word,' said Clennam, 'we should make up our minds that +it is not worthy of us to say any ill of Mr Gowan. It would be a poor +thing to gratify a prejudice against him. And I resolve, for my part, +not to depreciate him.' + +'I am not quite so sure of myself, and therefore I reserve my privilege +of objecting to him,' returned the other. 'But, if I am not sure of +myself, I am sure of you, Clennam, and I know what an upright man you +are, and how much to be respected. Good night, _my_ friend and partner!' +He shook his hand in saying this, as if there had been something serious +at the bottom of their conversation; and they separated. + +By this time they had visited the family on several occasions, and had +always observed that even a passing allusion to Mr Henry Gowan when +he was not among them, brought back the cloud which had obscured Mr +Meagles's sunshine on the morning of the chance encounter at the Ferry. +If Clennam had ever admitted the forbidden passion into his breast, +this period might have been a period of real trial; under the actual +circumstances, doubtless it was nothing--nothing. + +Equally, if his heart had given entertainment to that prohibited guest, +his silent fighting of his way through the mental condition of this +period might have been a little meritorious. In the constant effort not +to be betrayed into a new phase of the besetting sin of his experience, +the pursuit of selfish objects by low and small means, and to hold +instead to some high principle of honour and generosity, there might +have been a little merit. In the resolution not even to avoid Mr +Meagles's house, lest, in the selfish sparing of himself, he should +bring any slight distress upon the daughter through making her the cause +of an estrangement which he believed the father would regret, there +might have been a little merit. In the modest truthfulness of always +keeping in view the greater equality of Mr Gowan's years and the greater +attractions of his person and manner, there might have been a little +merit. In doing all this and much more, in a perfectly unaffected way +and with a manful and composed constancy, while the pain within him +(peculiar as his life and history) was very sharp, there might have been +some quiet strength of character. But, after the resolution he had made, +of course he could have no such merits as these; and such a state of +mind was nobody's--nobody's. + +Mr Gowan made it no concern of his whether it was nobody's or +somebody's. He preserved his perfect serenity of manner on all +occasions, as if the possibility of Clennam's presuming to have debated +the great question were too distant and ridiculous to be imagined. He +had always an affability to bestow on Clennam and an ease to treat +him with, which might of itself (in the supposititious case of his +not having taken that sagacious course) have been a very uncomfortable +element in his state of mind. + +'I quite regret you were not with us yesterday,' said Mr Henry Gowan, +calling on Clennam the next morning. 'We had an agreeable day up the +river there.' + +So he had heard, Arthur said. + +'From your partner?' returned Henry Gowan. 'What a dear old fellow he +is!' + +'I have a great regard for him.' + +'By Jove, he is the finest creature!' said Gowan. 'So fresh, so green, +trusts in such wonderful things!' + +Here was one of the many little rough points that had a tendency to +grate on Clennam's hearing. He put it aside by merely repeating that he +had a high regard for Mr Doyce. + +'He is charming! To see him mooning along to that time of life, +laying down nothing by the way and picking up nothing by the way, is +delightful. It warms a man. So unspoilt, so simple, such a good soul! +Upon my life Mr Clennam, one feels desperately worldly and wicked in +comparison with such an innocent creature. I speak for myself, let me +add, without including you. You are genuine also.' + +'Thank you for the compliment,' said Clennam, ill at ease; 'you are too, +I hope?' + +'So so,' rejoined the other. 'To be candid with you, tolerably. I am +not a great impostor. Buy one of my pictures, and I assure you, +in confidence, it will not be worth the money. Buy one of another +man's--any great professor who beats me hollow--and the chances are that +the more you give him, the more he'll impose upon you. They all do it.' + +'All painters?' + +'Painters, writers, patriots, all the rest who have stands in the +market. Give almost any man I know ten pounds, and he will impose upon +you to a corresponding extent; a thousand pounds--to a corresponding +extent; ten thousand pounds--to a corresponding extent. So great the +success, so great the imposition. But what a capital world it is!' cried +Gowan with warm enthusiasm. 'What a jolly, excellent, lovable world it +is!' + +'I had rather thought,' said Clennam, 'that the principle you mention +was chiefly acted on by--' + +'By the Barnacles?' interrupted Gowan, laughing. + +'By the political gentlemen who condescend to keep the Circumlocution +Office.' + +'Ah! Don't be hard upon the Barnacles,' said Gowan, laughing afresh, +'they are darling fellows! Even poor little Clarence, the born idiot of +the family, is the most agreeable and most endearing blockhead! And by +Jupiter, with a kind of cleverness in him too that would astonish you!' + +'It would. Very much,' said Clennam, drily. + +'And after all,' cried Gowan, with that characteristic balancing of his +which reduced everything in the wide world to the same light weight, +'though I can't deny that the Circumlocution Office may ultimately +shipwreck everybody and everything, still, that will probably not be in +our time--and it's a school for gentlemen.' + +'It's a very dangerous, unsatisfactory, and expensive school to the +people who pay to keep the pupils there, I am afraid,' said Clennam, +shaking his head. + +'Ah! You are a terrible fellow,' returned Gowan, airily. 'I can +understand how you have frightened that little donkey, Clarence, the +most estimable of moon-calves (I really love him) nearly out of his +wits. But enough of him, and of all the rest of them. I want to present +you to my mother, Mr Clennam. Pray do me the favour to give me the +opportunity.' + +In nobody's state of mind, there was nothing Clennam would have desired +less, or would have been more at a loss how to avoid. + +'My mother lives in a most primitive manner down in that dreary +red-brick dungeon at Hampton Court,' said Gowan. 'If you would make +your own appointment, suggest your own day for permitting me to take +you there to dinner, you would be bored and she would be charmed. Really +that's the state of the case.' + +What could Clennam say after this? His retiring character included a +great deal that was simple in the best sense, because unpractised and +unused; and in his simplicity and modesty, he could only say that he was +happy to place himself at Mr Gowan's disposal. Accordingly he said it, +and the day was fixed. And a dreaded day it was on his part, and a very +unwelcome day when it came and they went down to Hampton Court together. + +The venerable inhabitants of that venerable pile seemed, in those times, +to be encamped there like a sort of civilised gipsies. There was a +temporary air about their establishments, as if they were going away the +moment they could get anything better; there was also a dissatisfied air +about themselves, as if they took it very ill that they had not already +got something much better. Genteel blinds and makeshifts were more or +less observable as soon as their doors were opened; screens not half +high enough, which made dining-rooms out of arched passages, and warded +off obscure corners where footboys slept at nights with their heads +among the knives and forks; curtains which called upon you to believe +that they didn't hide anything; panes of glass which requested you +not to see them; many objects of various forms, feigning to have no +connection with their guilty secret, a bed; disguised traps in walls, +which were clearly coal-cellars; affectations of no thoroughfares, which +were evidently doors to little kitchens. Mental reservations and artful +mysteries grew out of these things. Callers looking steadily into the +eyes of their receivers, pretended not to smell cooking three feet off; +people, confronting closets accidentally left open, pretended not to see +bottles; visitors with their heads against a partition of thin canvas, +and a page and a young female at high words on the other side, made +believe to be sitting in a primeval silence. There was no end to the +small social accommodation-bills of this nature which the gipsies of +gentility were constantly drawing upon, and accepting for, one another. + +Some of these Bohemians were of an irritable temperament, as constantly +soured and vexed by two mental trials: the first, the consciousness +that they had never got enough out of the public; the second, the +consciousness that the public were admitted into the building. Under the +latter great wrong, a few suffered dreadfully--particularly on Sundays, +when they had for some time expected the earth to open and swallow +the public up; but which desirable event had not yet occurred, in +consequence of some reprehensible laxity in the arrangements of the +Universe. + +Mrs Gowan's door was attended by a family servant of several years' +standing, who had his own crow to pluck with the public concerning a +situation in the Post-Office which he had been for some time expecting, +and to which he was not yet appointed. He perfectly knew that the public +could never have got him in, but he grimly gratified himself with the +idea that the public kept him out. Under the influence of this injury +(and perhaps of some little straitness and irregularity in the matter +of wages), he had grown neglectful of his person and morose in mind; +and now beholding in Clennam one of the degraded body of his oppressors, +received him with ignominy. + +Mrs Gowan, however, received him with condescension. He found her a +courtly old lady, formerly a Beauty, and still sufficiently +well-favoured to have dispensed with the powder on her nose and a +certain impossible bloom under each eye. She was a little lofty with +him; so was another old lady, dark-browed and high-nosed, and who must +have had something real about her or she could not have existed, but it +was certainly not her hair or her teeth or her figure or her complexion; +so was a grey old gentleman of dignified and sullen appearance; both of +whom had come to dinner. But, as they had all been in the British +Embassy way in sundry parts of the earth, and as a British Embassy +cannot better establish a character with the Circumlocution Office than +by treating its compatriots with illimitable contempt (else it would +become like the Embassies of other countries), Clennam felt that on the +whole they let him off lightly. + +The dignified old gentleman turned out to be Lord Lancaster +Stiltstalking, who had been maintained by the Circumlocution Office for +many years as a representative of the Britannic Majesty abroad. +This noble Refrigerator had iced several European courts in his time, +and had done it with such complete success that the very name of +Englishman yet struck cold to the stomachs of foreigners who had the +distinguished honour of remembering him at a distance of a quarter of a +century. + +He was now in retirement, and hence (in a ponderous white cravat, like +a stiff snow-drift) was so obliging as to shade the dinner. There was a +whisper of the pervading Bohemian character in the nomadic nature of +the service and its curious races of plates and dishes; but the noble +Refrigerator, infinitely better than plate or porcelain, made it superb. +He shaded the dinner, cooled the wines, chilled the gravy, and blighted +the vegetables. + +There was only one other person in the room: a microscopically small +footboy, who waited on the malevolent man who hadn't got into the +Post-Office. Even this youth, if his jacket could have been unbuttoned +and his heart laid bare, would have been seen, as a distant adherent of +the Barnacle family, already to aspire to a situation under Government. + +Mrs Gowan with a gentle melancholy upon her, occasioned by her son's +being reduced to court the swinish public as a follower of the low Arts, +instead of asserting his birthright and putting a ring through its nose +as an acknowledged Barnacle, headed the conversation at dinner on the +evil days. It was then that Clennam learned for the first time what +little pivots this great world goes round upon. + +'If John Barnacle,' said Mrs Gowan, after the degeneracy of the times +had been fully ascertained, 'if John Barnacle had but abandoned his most +unfortunate idea of conciliating the mob, all would have been well, and +I think the country would have been preserved.' + +The old lady with the high nose assented; but added that if Augustus +Stiltstalking had in a general way ordered the cavalry out with +instructions to charge, she thought the country would have been +preserved. + +The noble Refrigerator assented; but added that if William Barnacle and +Tudor Stiltstalking, when they came over to one another and formed +their ever-memorable coalition, had boldly muzzled the newspapers, +and rendered it penal for any Editor-person to presume to discuss the +conduct of any appointed authority abroad or at home, he thought the +country would have been preserved. + +It was agreed that the country (another word for the Barnacles and +Stiltstalkings) wanted preserving, but how it came to want preserving +was not so clear. It was only clear that the question was all about +John Barnacle, Augustus Stiltstalking, William Barnacle and Tudor +Stiltstalking, Tom, Dick, or Harry Barnacle or Stiltstalking, because +there was nobody else but mob. And this was the feature of the +conversation which impressed Clennam, as a man not used to it, very +disagreeably: making him doubt if it were quite right to sit there, +silently hearing a great nation narrowed to such little bounds. +Remembering, however, that in the Parliamentary debates, whether on the +life of that nation's body or the life of its soul, the question was +usually all about and between John Barnacle, Augustus Stiltstalking, +William Barnacle and Tudor Stiltstalking, Tom, Dick, or Harry Barnacle +or Stiltstalking, and nobody else; he said nothing on the part of mob, +bethinking himself that mob was used to it. + +Mr Henry Gowan seemed to have a malicious pleasure in playing off the +three talkers against each other, and in seeing Clennam startled by what +they said. Having as supreme a contempt for the class that had thrown +him off as for the class that had not taken him on, he had no personal +disquiet in anything that passed. His healthy state of mind appeared +even to derive a gratification from Clennam's position of embarrassment +and isolation among the good company; and if Clennam had been in that +condition with which Nobody was incessantly contending, he would have +suspected it, and would have struggled with the suspicion as a meanness, +even while he sat at the table. + +In the course of a couple of hours the noble Refrigerator, at no time +less than a hundred years behind the period, got about five centuries +in arrears, and delivered solemn political oracles appropriate to that +epoch. He finished by freezing a cup of tea for his own drinking, +and retiring at his lowest temperature. + +Then Mrs Gowan, who had been accustomed in her days of a vacant +arm-chair beside her to which to summon state to retain her devoted +slaves, one by one, for short audiences as marks of her especial favour, +invited Clennam with a turn of her fan to approach the presence. He +obeyed, and took the tripod recently vacated by Lord Lancaster +Stiltstalking. + +'Mr Clennam,' said Mrs Gowan, 'apart from the happiness I have in +becoming known to you, though in this odiously inconvenient place--a +mere barrack--there is a subject on which I am dying to speak to you. It +is the subject in connection with which my son first had, I believe, the +pleasure of cultivating your acquaintance.' + +Clennam inclined his head, as a generally suitable reply to what he did +not yet quite understand. + +'First,' said Mrs Gowan, 'now, is she really pretty?' + +In nobody's difficulties, he would have found it very difficult to +answer; very difficult indeed to smile, and say 'Who?' + +'Oh! You know!' she returned. 'This flame of Henry's. This unfortunate +fancy. There! If it is a point of honour that I should originate the +name--Miss Mickles--Miggles.' + +'Miss Meagles,' said Clennam, 'is very beautiful.' + +'Men are so often mistaken on those points,' returned Mrs Gowan, shaking +her head, 'that I candidly confess to you I feel anything but sure of +it, even now; though it is something to have Henry corroborated with so +much gravity and emphasis. He picked the people up at Rome, I think?' + +The phrase would have given nobody mortal offence. Clennam replied, +'Excuse me, I doubt if I understand your expression.' + +'Picked the people up,' said Mrs Gowan, tapping the sticks of her closed +fan (a large green one, which she used as a hand-screen) on her little +table. 'Came upon them. Found them out. Stumbled against them.' + +'The people?' + +'Yes. The Miggles people.' + +'I really cannot say,' said Clennam, 'where my friend Mr Meagles first +presented Mr Henry Gowan to his daughter.' + +'I am pretty sure he picked her up at Rome; but never mind +where--somewhere. Now (this is entirely between ourselves), is she very +plebeian?' + +'Really, ma'am,' returned Clennam, 'I am so undoubtedly plebeian myself, +that I do not feel qualified to judge.' + +'Very neat!' said Mrs Gowan, coolly unfurling her screen. 'Very happy! +From which I infer that you secretly think her manner equal to her +looks?' + +Clennam, after a moment's stiffness, bowed. + +'That's comforting, and I hope you may be right. Did Henry tell me you +had travelled with them?' + +'I travelled with my friend Mr Meagles, and his wife and daughter, +during some months.' (Nobody's heart might have been wrung by the +remembrance.) + +'Really comforting, because you must have had a large experience of +them. You see, Mr Clennam, this thing has been going on for a long time, +and I find no improvement in it. Therefore to have the opportunity of +speaking to one so well informed about it as yourself, is an immense +relief to me. Quite a boon. Quite a blessing, I am sure.' + +'Pardon me,' returned Clennam, 'but I am not in Mr Henry Gowan's +confidence. I am far from being so well informed as you suppose me to +be. Your mistake makes my position a very delicate one. No word on this +topic has ever passed between Mr Henry Gowan and myself.' + +Mrs Gowan glanced at the other end of the room, where her son was +playing ecarte on a sofa, with the old lady who was for a charge of +cavalry. + +'Not in his confidence? No,' said Mrs Gowan. 'No word has passed between +you? No. That I can imagine. But there are unexpressed confidences, Mr +Clennam; and as you have been together intimately among these people, I +cannot doubt that a confidence of that sort exists in the present case. +Perhaps you have heard that I have suffered the keenest distress of +mind from Henry's having taken to a pursuit which--well!' shrugging her +shoulders, 'a very respectable pursuit, I dare say, and some artists +are, as artists, quite superior persons; still, we never yet in our +family have gone beyond an Amateur, and it is a pardonable weakness to +feel a little--' + +As Mrs Gowan broke off to heave a sigh, Clennam, however resolute to +be magnanimous, could not keep down the thought that there was mighty +little danger of the family's ever going beyond an Amateur, even as it +was. + +'Henry,' the mother resumed, 'is self-willed and resolute; and as these +people naturally strain every nerve to catch him, I can entertain very +little hope, Mr Clennam, that the thing will be broken off. I apprehend +the girl's fortune will be very small; Henry might have done much +better; there is scarcely anything to compensate for the connection: +still, he acts for himself; and if I find no improvement within a short +time, I see no other course than to resign myself and make the best of +these people. I am infinitely obliged to you for what you have told +me.' + +As she shrugged her shoulders, Clennam stiffly bowed again. With an +uneasy flush upon his face, and hesitation in his manner, he then said +in a still lower tone than he had adopted yet: + +'Mrs Gowan, I scarcely know how to acquit myself of what I feel to be a +duty, and yet I must ask you for your kind consideration in +attempting to discharge it. A misconception on your part, a very great +misconception if I may venture to call it so, seems to require setting +right. You have supposed Mr Meagles and his family to strain every +nerve, I think you said--' + +'Every nerve,' repeated Mrs Gowan, looking at him in calm obstinacy, +with her green fan between her face and the fire. + +'To secure Mr Henry Gowan?' + +The lady placidly assented. + +'Now that is so far,' said Arthur, 'from being the case, that I know +Mr Meagles to be unhappy in this matter; and to have interposed all +reasonable obstacles with the hope of putting an end to it.' + +Mrs Gowan shut up her great green fan, tapped him on the arm with it, +and tapped her smiling lips. 'Why, of course,' said she. 'Just what I +mean.' + +Arthur watched her face for some explanation of what she did mean. + +'Are you really serious, Mr Clennam? Don't you see?' + +Arthur did not see; and said so. + +'Why, don't I know my son, and don't I know that this is exactly the way +to hold him?' said Mrs Gowan, contemptuously; 'and do not these Miggles +people know it, at least as well as I? Oh, shrewd people, Mr Clennam: +evidently people of business! I believe Miggles belonged to a Bank. It +ought to have been a very profitable Bank, if he had much to do with its +management. This is very well done, indeed.' + +'I beg and entreat you, ma'am--' Arthur interposed. + +'Oh, Mr Clennam, can you really be so credulous?' + +It made such a painful impression upon him to hear her talking in this +haughty tone, and to see her patting her contemptuous lips with her +fan, that he said very earnestly, 'Believe me, ma'am, this is unjust, a +perfectly groundless suspicion.' + +'Suspicion?' repeated Mrs Gowan. 'Not suspicion, Mr Clennam, Certainty. +It is very knowingly done indeed, and seems to have taken _you_ in +completely.' She laughed; and again sat tapping her lips with her fan, +and tossing her head, as if she added, 'Don't tell me. I know such +people will do anything for the honour of such an alliance.' + +At this opportune moment, the cards were thrown up, and Mr Henry Gowan +came across the room saying, 'Mother, if you can spare Mr Clennam for +this time, we have a long way to go, and it's getting late.' Mr Clennam +thereupon rose, as he had no choice but to do; and Mrs Gowan showed him, +to the last, the same look and the same tapped contemptuous lips. + +'You have had a portentously long audience of my mother,' said Gowan, as +the door closed upon them. 'I fervently hope she has not bored you?' + +'Not at all,' said Clennam. + +They had a little open phaeton for the journey, and were soon in it on +the road home. Gowan, driving, lighted a cigar; Clennam declined one. Do +what he would, he fell into such a mood of abstraction that Gowan said +again, 'I am very much afraid my mother has bored you?' To which he +roused himself to answer, 'Not at all!' and soon relapsed again. + +In that state of mind which rendered nobody uneasy, his thoughtfulness +would have turned principally on the man at his side. He would have +thought of the morning when he first saw him rooting out the stones with +his heel, and would have asked himself, 'Does he jerk me out of the +path in the same careless, cruel way?' He would have thought, had this +introduction to his mother been brought about by him because he knew +what she would say, and that he could thus place his position before +a rival and loftily warn him off, without himself reposing a word of +confidence in him? He would have thought, even if there were no such +design as that, had he brought him there to play with his repressed +emotions, and torment him? The current of these meditations would have +been stayed sometimes by a rush of shame, bearing a remonstrance to +himself from his own open nature, representing that to shelter such +suspicions, even for the passing moment, was not to hold the high, +unenvious course he had resolved to keep. At those times, the striving +within him would have been hardest; and looking up and catching Gowan's +eyes, he would have started as if he had done him an injury. + +Then, looking at the dark road and its uncertain objects, he would have +gradually trailed off again into thinking, 'Where are we driving, he +and I, I wonder, on the darker road of life? How will it be with us, and +with her, in the obscure distance?' Thinking of her, he would have been +troubled anew with a reproachful misgiving that it was not even loyal to +her to dislike him, and that in being so easily prejudiced against him +he was less deserving of her than at first. + +'You are evidently out of spirits,' said Gowan; 'I am very much afraid +my mother must have bored you dreadfully.' + +'Believe me, not at all,' said Clennam. 'It's nothing--nothing!' + + + + +CHAPTER 27. Five-and-Twenty + +A frequently recurring doubt, whether Mr Pancks's desire to collect +information relative to the Dorrit family could have any possible +bearing on the misgivings he had imparted to his mother on his return +from his long exile, caused Arthur Clennam much uneasiness at this +period. What Mr Pancks already knew about the Dorrit family, what more +he really wanted to find out, and why he should trouble his busy head +about them at all, were questions that often perplexed him. Mr Pancks +was not a man to waste his time and trouble in researches prompted by +idle curiosity. That he had a specific object Clennam could not doubt. +And whether the attainment of that object by Mr Pancks's industry might +bring to light, in some untimely way, secret reasons which had induced +his mother to take Little Dorrit by the hand, was a serious speculation. + +Not that he ever wavered either in his desire or his determination to +repair a wrong that had been done in his father's time, should a +wrong come to light, and be reparable. The shadow of a supposed act +of injustice, which had hung over him since his father's death, was +so vague and formless that it might be the result of a reality widely +remote from his idea of it. But, if his apprehensions should prove to +be well founded, he was ready at any moment to lay down all he had, and +begin the world anew. As the fierce dark teaching of his childhood had +never sunk into his heart, so that first article in his code of morals +was, that he must begin, in practical humility, with looking well to +his feet on Earth, and that he could never mount on wings of words to +Heaven. Duty on earth, restitution on earth, action on earth; these +first, as the first steep steps upward. Strait was the gate and narrow +was the way; far straiter and narrower than the broad high road paved +with vain professions and vain repetitions, motes from other men's eyes +and liberal delivery of others to the judgment--all cheap materials +costing absolutely nothing. + +No. It was not a selfish fear or hesitation that rendered him +uneasy, but a mistrust lest Pancks might not observe his part of the +understanding between them, and, making any discovery, might take some +course upon it without imparting it to him. On the other hand, when he +recalled his conversation with Pancks, and the little reason he had to +suppose that there was any likelihood of that strange personage being +on that track at all, there were times when he wondered that he made so +much of it. Labouring in this sea, as all barks labour in cross seas, he +tossed about and came to no haven. + +The removal of Little Dorrit herself from their customary association, +did not mend the matter. She was so much out, and so much in her own +room, that he began to miss her and to find a blank in her place. He had +written to her to inquire if she were better, and she had written +back, very gratefully and earnestly telling him not to be uneasy on her +behalf, for she was quite well; but he had not seen her, for what, in +their intercourse, was a long time. + +He returned home one evening from an interview with her father, who had +mentioned that she was out visiting--which was what he always said +when she was hard at work to buy his supper--and found Mr Meagles in an +excited state walking up and down his room. On his opening the door, Mr +Meagles stopped, faced round, and said: + +'Clennam!--Tattycoram!' + +'What's the matter?' + +'Lost!' + +'Why, bless my heart alive!' cried Clennam in amazement. 'What do you +mean?' + +'Wouldn't count five-and-twenty, sir; couldn't be got to do it; stopped +at eight, and took herself off.' + +'Left your house?' + +'Never to come back,' said Mr Meagles, shaking his head. 'You don't know +that girl's passionate and proud character. A team of horses couldn't +draw her back now; the bolts and bars of the old Bastille couldn't keep +her.' + +'How did it happen? Pray sit down and tell me.' + +'As to how it happened, it's not so easy to relate: because you must +have the unfortunate temperament of the poor impetuous girl herself, +before you can fully understand it. But it came about in this way. Pet +and Mother and I have been having a good deal of talk together of late. +I'll not disguise from you, Clennam, that those conversations have not +been of as bright a kind as I could wish; they have referred to our +going away again. In proposing to do which, I have had, in fact, an +object.' + +Nobody's heart beat quickly. + +'An object,' said Mr Meagles, after a moment's pause, 'that I will not +disguise from you, either, Clennam. There's an inclination on the part +of my dear child which I am sorry for. Perhaps you guess the person. +Henry Gowan.' + +'I was not unprepared to hear it.' + +'Well!' said Mr Meagles, with a heavy sigh, 'I wish to God you had never +had to hear it. However, so it is. Mother and I have done all we could +to get the better of it, Clennam. We have tried tender advice, we +have tried time, we have tried absence. As yet, of no use. Our late +conversations have been upon the subject of going away for another year +at least, in order that there might be an entire separation and breaking +off for that term. Upon that question, Pet has been unhappy, and +therefore Mother and I have been unhappy.' + +Clennam said that he could easily believe it. + +'Well!' continued Mr Meagles in an apologetic way, 'I admit as a +practical man, and I am sure Mother would admit as a practical woman, +that we do, in families, magnify our troubles and make mountains of our +molehills in a way that is calculated to be rather trying to people who +look on--to mere outsiders, you know, Clennam. Still, Pet's happiness +or unhappiness is quite a life or death question with us; and we may be +excused, I hope, for making much of it. At all events, it might have +been borne by Tattycoram. Now, don't you think so?' + +'I do indeed think so,' returned Clennam, in most emphatic recognition +of this very moderate expectation. + +'No, sir,' said Mr Meagles, shaking his head ruefully. 'She couldn't +stand it. The chafing and firing of that girl, the wearing and tearing +of that girl within her own breast, has been such that I have +softly said to her again and again in passing her, "Five-and-twenty, +Tattycoram, five-and-twenty!" I heartily wish she could have gone +on counting five-and-twenty day and night, and then it wouldn't have +happened.' + +Mr Meagles with a despondent countenance in which the goodness of his +heart was even more expressed than in his times of cheerfulness and +gaiety, stroked his face down from his forehead to his chin, and shook +his head again. + +'I said to Mother (not that it was necessary, for she would have thought +it all for herself), we are practical people, my dear, and we know her +story; we see in this unhappy girl some reflection of what was raging in +her mother's heart before ever such a creature as this poor thing was +in the world; we'll gloss her temper over, Mother, we won't notice it at +present, my dear, we'll take advantage of some better disposition in her +another time. So we said nothing. But, do what we would, it seems as if +it was to be; she broke out violently one night.' + +'How, and why?' + +'If you ask me Why,' said Mr Meagles, a little disturbed by the +question, for he was far more intent on softening her case than the +family's, 'I can only refer you to what I have just repeated as having +been pretty near my words to Mother. As to How, we had said Good night +to Pet in her presence (very affectionately, I must allow), and she +had attended Pet up-stairs--you remember she was her maid. Perhaps Pet, +having been out of sorts, may have been a little more inconsiderate than +usual in requiring services of her: but I don't know that I have any +right to say so; she was always thoughtful and gentle.' + +'The gentlest mistress in the world.' + +'Thank you, Clennam,' said Mr Meagles, shaking him by the hand; 'you +have often seen them together. Well! We presently heard this unfortunate +Tattycoram loud and angry, and before we could ask what was the matter, +Pet came back in a tremble, saying she was frightened of her. Close +after her came Tattycoram in a flaming rage. "I hate you all three," +says she, stamping her foot at us. "I am bursting with hate of the whole +house."' + +'Upon which you--?' + +'I?' said Mr Meagles, with a plain good faith that might have commanded +the belief of Mrs Gowan herself. 'I said, count five-and-twenty, +Tattycoram.' + +Mr Meagles again stroked his face and shook his head, with an air of +profound regret. + +'She was so used to do it, Clennam, that even then, such a picture of +passion as you never saw, she stopped short, looked me full in the face, +and counted (as I made out) to eight. But she couldn't control herself +to go any further. There she broke down, poor thing, and gave the other +seventeen to the four winds. Then it all burst out. She detested us, she +was miserable with us, she couldn't bear it, she wouldn't bear it, she +was determined to go away. She was younger than her young mistress, and +would she remain to see her always held up as the only creature who was +young and interesting, and to be cherished and loved? No. She wouldn't, +she wouldn't, she wouldn't! What did we think she, Tattycoram, might +have been if she had been caressed and cared for in her childhood, like +her young mistress? As good as her? Ah! Perhaps fifty times as good. +When we pretended to be so fond of one another, we exulted over her; +that was what we did; we exulted over her and shamed her. And all in +the house did the same. They talked about their fathers and mothers, and +brothers and sisters; they liked to drag them up before her face. There +was Mrs Tickit, only yesterday, when her little grandchild was with her, +had been amused by the child's trying to call her (Tattycoram) by the +wretched name we gave her; and had laughed at the name. Why, who didn't; +and who were we that we should have a right to name her like a dog or a +cat? But she didn't care. She would take no more benefits from us; she +would fling us her name back again, and she would go. She would leave +us that minute, nobody should stop her, and we should never hear of her +again.' + +Mr Meagles had recited all this with such a vivid remembrance of his +original, that he was almost as flushed and hot by this time as he +described her to have been. + +'Ah, well!' he said, wiping his face. 'It was of no use trying reason +then, with that vehement panting creature (Heaven knows what her +mother's story must have been); so I quietly told her that she should +not go at that late hour of night, and I gave her my hand and took her +to her room, and locked the house doors. But she was gone this morning.' + +'And you know no more of her?' + +'No more,' returned Mr Meagles. 'I have been hunting about all day. She +must have gone very early and very silently. I have found no trace of +her down about us.' + +'Stay! You want,' said Clennam, after a moment's reflection, 'to see +her? I assume that?' + +'Yes, assuredly; I want to give her another chance; Mother and Pet +want to give her another chance; come! You yourself,' said Mr Meagles, +persuasively, as if the provocation to be angry were not his own at all, +'want to give the poor passionate girl another chance, I know, Clennam.' + +'It would be strange and hard indeed if I did not,' said Clennam, 'when +you are all so forgiving. What I was going to ask you was, have you +thought of that Miss Wade?' + +'I have. I did not think of her until I had pervaded the whole of our +neighbourhood, and I don't know that I should have done so then but +for finding Mother and Pet, when I went home, full of the idea that +Tattycoram must have gone to her. Then, of course, I recalled what she +said that day at dinner when you were first with us.' + +'Have you any idea where Miss Wade is to be found?' + +'To tell you the truth,' returned Mr Meagles, 'it's because I have an +addled jumble of a notion on that subject that you found me waiting +here. There is one of those odd impressions in my house, which do +mysteriously get into houses sometimes, which nobody seems to have +picked up in a distinct form from anybody, and yet which everybody seems +to have got hold of loosely from somebody and let go again, that she +lives, or was living, thereabouts.' Mr Meagles handed him a slip of +paper, on which was written the name of one of the dull by-streets in +the Grosvenor region, near Park Lane. + +'Here is no number,' said Arthur looking over it. + +'No number, my dear Clennam?' returned his friend. 'No anything! The +very name of the street may have been floating in the air; for, as I +tell you, none of my people can say where they got it from. However, +it's worth an inquiry; and as I would rather make it in company than +alone, and as you too were a fellow-traveller of that immovable woman's, +I thought perhaps--' Clennam finished the sentence for him by taking up +his hat again, and saying he was ready. + +It was now summer-time; a grey, hot, dusty evening. They rode to the top +of Oxford Street, and there alighting, dived in among the great streets +of melancholy stateliness, and the little streets that try to be as +stately and succeed in being more melancholy, of which there is a +labyrinth near Park Lane. Wildernesses of corner houses, with barbarous +old porticoes and appurtenances; horrors that came into existence under +some wrong-headed person in some wrong-headed time, still demanding +the blind admiration of all ensuing generations and determined to do +so until they tumbled down; frowned upon the twilight. Parasite little +tenements, with the cramp in their whole frame, from the dwarf hall-door +on the giant model of His Grace's in the Square to the squeezed window +of the boudoir commanding the dunghills in the Mews, made the evening +doleful. Rickety dwellings of undoubted fashion, but of a capacity to +hold nothing comfortably except a dismal smell, looked like the last +result of the great mansions' breeding in-and-in; and, where their +little supplementary bows and balconies were supported on thin iron +columns, seemed to be scrofulously resting upon crutches. Here and +there a Hatchment, with the whole science of Heraldry in it, loomed down +upon the street, like an Archbishop discoursing on Vanity. The shops, +few in number, made no show; for popular opinion was as nothing to them. +The pastrycook knew who was on his books, and in that knowledge could be +calm, with a few glass cylinders of dowager peppermint-drops in his +window, and half-a-dozen ancient specimens of currant-jelly. A few +oranges formed the greengrocer's whole concession to the vulgar mind. A +single basket made of moss, once containing plovers' eggs, held all that +the poulterer had to say to the rabble. Everybody in those streets +seemed (which is always the case at that hour and season) to be gone out +to dinner, and nobody seemed to be giving the dinners they had gone to. +On the doorsteps there were lounging footmen with bright parti-coloured +plumage and white polls, like an extinct race of monstrous birds; and +butlers, solitary men of recluse demeanour, each of whom appeared +distrustful of all other butlers. The roll of carriages in the Park was +done for the day; the street lamps were lighting; and wicked little +grooms in the tightest fitting garments, with twists in their legs +answering to the twists in their minds, hung about in pairs, chewing +straws and exchanging fraudulent secrets. The spotted dogs who went out +with the carriages, and who were so associated with splendid equipages +that it looked like a condescension in those animals to come out without +them, accompanied helpers to and fro on messages. Here and there was a +retiring public-house which did not require to be supported on the +shoulders of the people, and where gentlemen out of livery were not much +wanted. + +This last discovery was made by the two friends in pursuing their +inquiries. Nothing was there, or anywhere, known of such a person as +Miss Wade, in connection with the street they sought. It was one of the +parasite streets; long, regular, narrow, dull and gloomy; like a brick +and mortar funeral. They inquired at several little area gates, where +a dejected youth stood spiking his chin on the summit of a precipitous +little shoot of wooden steps, but could gain no information. They walked +up the street on one side of the way, and down it on the other, what +time two vociferous news-sellers, announcing an extraordinary event that +had never happened and never would happen, pitched their hoarse voices +into the secret chambers; but nothing came of it. At length they stood +at the corner from which they had begun, and it had fallen quite dark, +and they were no wiser. + +It happened that in the street they had several times passed a dingy +house, apparently empty, with bills in the windows, announcing that it +was to let. The bills, as a variety in the funeral procession, almost +amounted to a decoration. Perhaps because they kept the house separated +in his mind, or perhaps because Mr Meagles and himself had twice agreed +in passing, 'It is clear she don't live there,' Clennam now proposed +that they should go back and try that house before finally going away. +Mr Meagles agreed, and back they went. + +They knocked once, and they rang once, without any response. 'Empty,' +said Mr Meagles, listening. 'Once more,' said Clennam, and knocked +again. After that knock they heard a movement below, and somebody +shuffling up towards the door. + +The confined entrance was so dark that it was impossible to make out +distinctly what kind of person opened the door; but it appeared to be an +old woman. 'Excuse our troubling you,' said Clennam. 'Pray can you +tell us where Miss Wade lives?' The voice in the darkness unexpectedly +replied, 'Lives here.' + +'Is she at home?' + +No answer coming, Mr Meagles asked again. 'Pray is she at home?' + +After another delay, 'I suppose she is,' said the voice abruptly; 'you +had better come in, and I'll ask.' + +They were summarily shut into the close black house; and the figure +rustling away, and speaking from a higher level, said, 'Come up, if you +please; you can't tumble over anything.' They groped their way up-stairs +towards a faint light, which proved to be the light of the street +shining through a window; and the figure left them shut in an airless +room. + +'This is odd, Clennam,' said Mr Meagles, softly. + +'Odd enough,' assented Clennam in the same tone, 'but we have succeeded; +that's the main point. Here's a light coming!' + +The light was a lamp, and the bearer was an old woman: very dirty, very +wrinkled and dry. 'She's at home,' she said (and the voice was the same +that had spoken before); 'she'll come directly.' Having set the lamp +down on the table, the old woman dusted her hands on her apron, which +she might have done for ever without cleaning them, looked at the +visitors with a dim pair of eyes, and backed out. + +The lady whom they had come to see, if she were the present occupant +of the house, appeared to have taken up her quarters there as she might +have established herself in an Eastern caravanserai. A small square +of carpet in the middle of the room, a few articles of furniture that +evidently did not belong to the room, and a disorder of trunks and +travelling articles, formed the whole of her surroundings. Under some +former regular inhabitant, the stifling little apartment had broken out +into a pier-glass and a gilt table; but the gilding was as faded as last +year's flowers, and the glass was so clouded that it seemed to hold in +magic preservation all the fogs and bad weather it had ever reflected. +The visitors had had a minute or two to look about them, when the door +opened and Miss Wade came in. + +She was exactly the same as when they had parted, just as handsome, just +as scornful, just as repressed. She manifested no surprise in seeing +them, nor any other emotion. She requested them to be seated; and +declining to take a seat herself, at once anticipated any introduction +of their business. + +'I apprehend,' she said, 'that I know the cause of your favouring me +with this visit. We may come to it at once.' + +'The cause then, ma'am,' said Mr Meagles, 'is Tattycoram.' + +'So I supposed.' + +'Miss Wade,' said Mr Meagles, 'will you be so kind as to say whether you +know anything of her?' + +'Surely. I know she is here with me.' + +'Then, ma'am,' said Mr Meagles, 'allow me to make known to you that I +shall be happy to have her back, and that my wife and daughter will +be happy to have her back. She has been with us a long time: we don't +forget her claims upon us, and I hope we know how to make allowances.' + +'You hope to know how to make allowances?' she returned, in a level, +measured voice. 'For what?' + +'I think my friend would say, Miss Wade,' Arthur Clennam interposed, +seeing Mr Meagles rather at a loss, 'for the passionate sense that +sometimes comes upon the poor girl, of being at a disadvantage. Which +occasionally gets the better of better remembrances.' + +The lady broke into a smile as she turned her eyes upon him. 'Indeed?' +was all she answered. + +She stood by the table so perfectly composed and still after this +acknowledgment of his remark that Mr Meagles stared at her under a sort +of fascination, and could not even look to Clennam to make another move. +After waiting, awkwardly enough, for some moments, Arthur said: + +'Perhaps it would be well if Mr Meagles could see her, Miss Wade?' + +'That is easily done,' said she. 'Come here, child.' She had opened a +door while saying this, and now led the girl in by the hand. It was +very curious to see them standing together: the girl with her disengaged +fingers plaiting the bosom of her dress, half irresolutely, half +passionately; Miss Wade with her composed face attentively regarding +her, and suggesting to an observer, with extraordinary force, in her +composure itself (as a veil will suggest the form it covers), the +unquenchable passion of her own nature. + +'See here,' she said, in the same level way as before. 'Here is your +patron, your master. He is willing to take you back, my dear, if you are +sensible of the favour and choose to go. You can be, again, a foil to +his pretty daughter, a slave to her pleasant wilfulness, and a toy in +the house showing the goodness of the family. You can have your droll +name again, playfully pointing you out and setting you apart, as it is +right that you should be pointed out and set apart. (Your birth, you +know; you must not forget your birth.) You can again be shown to this +gentleman's daughter, Harriet, and kept before her, as a living reminder +of her own superiority and her gracious condescension. You can recover +all these advantages and many more of the same kind which I dare say +start up in your memory while I speak, and which you lose in taking +refuge with me--you can recover them all by telling these gentlemen how +humbled and penitent you are, and by going back to them to be forgiven. +What do you say, Harriet? Will you go?' + +The girl who, under the influence of these words, had gradually risen +in anger and heightened in colour, answered, raising her lustrous black +eyes for the moment, and clenching her hand upon the folds it had been +puckering up, 'I'd die sooner!' + +Miss Wade, still standing at her side holding her hand, looked quietly +round and said with a smile, 'Gentlemen! What do you do upon that?' + +Poor Mr Meagles's inexpressible consternation in hearing his motives and +actions so perverted, had prevented him from interposing any word until +now; but now he regained the power of speech. + +'Tattycoram,' said he, 'for I'll call you by that name still, my good +girl, conscious that I meant nothing but kindness when I gave it to you, +and conscious that you know it--' + +'I don't!' said she, looking up again, and almost rending herself with +the same busy hand. + +'No, not now, perhaps,' said Mr Meagles; 'not with that lady's eyes so +intent upon you, Tattycoram,' she glanced at them for a moment, 'and +that power over you, which we see she exercises; not now, perhaps, but +at another time. Tattycoram, I'll not ask that lady whether she believes +what she has said, even in the anger and ill blood in which I and my +friend here equally know she has spoken, though she subdues herself, +with a determination that any one who has once seen her is not likely +to forget. I'll not ask you, with your remembrance of my house and all +belonging to it, whether you believe it. I'll only say that you have +no profession to make to me or mine, and no forgiveness to entreat; +and that all in the world that I ask you to do, is, to count +five-and-twenty, Tattycoram.' + +She looked at him for an instant, and then said frowningly, 'I won't. +Miss Wade, take me away, please.' + +The contention that raged within her had no softening in it now; it +was wholly between passionate defiance and stubborn defiance. Her rich +colour, her quick blood, her rapid breath, were all setting themselves +against the opportunity of retracing their steps. 'I won't. I won't. +I won't!' she repeated in a low, thick voice. 'I'd be torn to pieces +first. I'd tear myself to pieces first!' + +Miss Wade, who had released her hold, laid her hand protectingly on the +girl's neck for a moment, and then said, looking round with her former +smile and speaking exactly in her former tone, 'Gentlemen! What do you +do upon that?' + +'Oh, Tattycoram, Tattycoram!' cried Mr Meagles, adjuring her besides +with an earnest hand. 'Hear that lady's voice, look at that lady's face, +consider what is in that lady's heart, and think what a future lies +before you. My child, whatever you may think, that lady's influence +over you--astonishing to us, and I should hardly go too far in saying +terrible to us to see--is founded in passion fiercer than yours, and +temper more violent than yours. What can you two be together? What can +come of it?' + +'I am alone here, gentlemen,' observed Miss Wade, with no change of +voice or manner. 'Say anything you will.' + +'Politeness must yield to this misguided girl, ma'am,' said Mr Meagles, +'at her present pass; though I hope not altogether to dismiss it, +even with the injury you do her so strongly before me. Excuse me for +reminding you in her hearing--I must say it--that you were a mystery +to all of us, and had nothing in common with any of us when she +unfortunately fell in your way. I don't know what you are, but you don't +hide, can't hide, what a dark spirit you have within you. If it should +happen that you are a woman, who, from whatever cause, has a perverted +delight in making a sister-woman as wretched as she is (I am old enough +to have heard of such), I warn her against you, and I warn you against +yourself.' + +'Gentlemen!' said Miss Wade, calmly. 'When you have concluded--Mr +Clennam, perhaps you will induce your friend--' + +'Not without another effort,' said Mr Meagles, stoutly. 'Tattycoram, +my poor dear girl, count five-and-twenty.' + +'Do not reject the hope, the certainty, this kind man offers you,' said +Clennam in a low emphatic voice. 'Turn to the friends you have not +forgotten. Think once more!' + +'I won't! Miss Wade,' said the girl, with her bosom swelling high, and +speaking with her hand held to her throat, 'take me away!' + +'Tattycoram,' said Mr Meagles. 'Once more yet! The only thing I ask of +you in the world, my child! Count five-and-twenty!' + +She put her hands tightly over her ears, confusedly tumbling down her +bright black hair in the vehemence of the action, and turned her face +resolutely to the wall. Miss Wade, who had watched her under this final +appeal with that strange attentive smile, and that repressing hand +upon her own bosom with which she had watched her in her struggle at +Marseilles, then put her arm about her waist as if she took possession +of her for evermore. + +And there was a visible triumph in her face when she turned it to +dismiss the visitors. + +'As it is the last time I shall have the honour,' she said, 'and as you +have spoken of not knowing what I am, and also of the foundation of my +influence here, you may now know that it is founded in a common cause. +What your broken plaything is as to birth, I am. She has no name, I have +no name. Her wrong is my wrong. I have nothing more to say to you.' + +This was addressed to Mr Meagles, who sorrowfully went out. As Clennam +followed, she said to him, with the same external composure and in the +same level voice, but with a smile that is only seen on cruel faces: a +very faint smile, lifting the nostril, scarcely touching the lips, and +not breaking away gradually, but instantly dismissed when done with: + +'I hope the wife of your dear friend Mr Gowan, may be happy in the +contrast of her extraction to this girl's and mine, and in the high good +fortune that awaits her.' + + + + +CHAPTER 28. Nobody's Disappearance + + +Not resting satisfied with the endeavours he had made to recover his +lost charge, Mr Meagles addressed a letter of remonstrance, breathing +nothing but goodwill, not only to her, but to Miss Wade too. No answer +coming to these epistles, or to another written to the stubborn girl +by the hand of her late young mistress, which might have melted her +if anything could (all three letters were returned weeks afterwards as +having been refused at the house-door), he deputed Mrs Meagles to make +the experiment of a personal interview. That worthy lady being unable to +obtain one, and being steadfastly denied admission, Mr Meagles besought +Arthur to essay once more what he could do. All that came of his +compliance was, his discovery that the empty house was left in charge +of the old woman, that Miss Wade was gone, that the waifs and strays of +furniture were gone, and that the old woman would accept any number of +half-crowns and thank the donor kindly, but had no information whatever +to exchange for those coins, beyond constantly offering for perusal a +memorandum relative to fixtures, which the house-agent's young man had +left in the hall. + +Unwilling, even under this discomfiture, to resign the ingrate and leave +her hopeless, in case of her better dispositions obtaining the mastery +over the darker side of her character, Mr Meagles, for six successive +days, published a discreetly covert advertisement in the morning papers, +to the effect that if a certain young person who had lately left +home without reflection, would at any time apply to his address at +Twickenham, everything would be as it had been before, and no reproaches +need be apprehended. The unexpected consequences of this notification +suggested to the dismayed Mr Meagles for the first time that some +hundreds of young persons must be leaving their homes without reflection +every day; for shoals of wrong young people came down to Twickenham, +who, not finding themselves received with enthusiasm, generally demanded +compensation by way of damages, in addition to coach-hire there and +back. Nor were these the only uninvited clients whom the advertisement +produced. The swarm of begging-letter writers, who would seem to be +always watching eagerly for any hook, however small, to hang a letter +upon, wrote to say that having seen the advertisement, they were induced +to apply with confidence for various sums, ranging from ten shillings to +fifty pounds: not because they knew anything about the young person, +but because they felt that to part with those donations would greatly +relieve the advertiser's mind. Several projectors, likewise, availed +themselves of the same opportunity to correspond with Mr Meagles; as, +for example, to apprise him that their attention having been called to +the advertisement by a friend, they begged to state that if they should +ever hear anything of the young person, they would not fail to make it +known to him immediately, and that in the meantime if he would oblige +them with the funds necessary for bringing to perfection a certain +entirely novel description of Pump, the happiest results would ensue to +mankind. + +Mr Meagles and his family, under these combined discouragements, had +begun reluctantly to give up Tattycoram as irrecoverable, when the new +and active firm of Doyce and Clennam, in their private capacities, +went down on a Saturday to stay at the cottage until Monday. The senior +partner took the coach, and the junior partner took his walking-stick. + +A tranquil summer sunset shone upon him as he approached the end of +his walk, and passed through the meadows by the river side. He had +that sense of peace, and of being lightened of a weight of care, which +country quiet awakens in the breasts of dwellers in towns. Everything +within his view was lovely and placid. The rich foliage of the trees, +the luxuriant grass diversified with wild flowers, the little green +islands in the river, the beds of rushes, the water-lilies floating on +the surface of the stream, the distant voices in boats borne musically +towards him on the ripple of the water and the evening air, were all +expressive of rest. In the occasional leap of a fish, or dip of an oar, +or twittering of a bird not yet at roost, or distant barking of a dog, +or lowing of a cow--in all such sounds, there was the prevailing breath +of rest, which seemed to encompass him in every scent that sweetened +the fragrant air. The long lines of red and gold in the sky, and the +glorious track of the descending sun, were all divinely calm. Upon the +purple tree-tops far away, and on the green height near at hand up which +the shades were slowly creeping, there was an equal hush. Between the +real landscape and its shadow in the water, there was no division; both +were so untroubled and clear, and, while so fraught with solemn mystery +of life and death, so hopefully reassuring to the gazer's soothed heart, +because so tenderly and mercifully beautiful. + +Clennam had stopped, not for the first time by many times, to look about +him and suffer what he saw to sink into his soul, as the shadows, looked +at, seemed to sink deeper and deeper into the water. He was slowly +resuming his way, when he saw a figure in the path before him which he +had, perhaps, already associated with the evening and its impressions. + +Minnie was there, alone. She had some roses in her hand, and seemed to +have stood still on seeing him, waiting for him. Her face was towards +him, and she appeared to have been coming from the opposite direction. +There was a flutter in her manner, which Clennam had never seen in it +before; and as he came near her, it entered his mind all at once that +she was there of a set purpose to speak to him. + +She gave him her hand, and said, 'You wonder to see me here by myself? +But the evening is so lovely, I have strolled further than I meant +at first. I thought it likely I might meet you, and that made me more +confident. You always come this way, do you not?' + +As Clennam said that it was his favourite way, he felt her hand falter +on his arm, and saw the roses shake. + +'Will you let me give you one, Mr Clennam? I gathered them as I came out +of the garden. Indeed, I almost gathered them for you, thinking it so +likely I might meet you. Mr Doyce arrived more than an hour ago, and +told us you were walking down.' + +His own hand shook, as he accepted a rose or two from hers and thanked +her. They were now by an avenue of trees. Whether they turned into it on +his movement or on hers matters little. He never knew how that was. + +'It is very grave here,' said Clennam, 'but very pleasant at this hour. +Passing along this deep shade, and out at that arch of light at the +other end, we come upon the ferry and the cottage by the best approach, +I think.' + +In her simple garden-hat and her light summer dress, with her rich brown +hair naturally clustering about her, and her wonderful eyes raised to +his for a moment with a look in which regard for him and trustfulness in +him were strikingly blended with a kind of timid sorrow for him, she was +so beautiful that it was well for his peace--or ill for his peace, he +did not quite know which--that he had made that vigorous resolution he +had so often thought about. + +She broke a momentary silence by inquiring if he knew that papa had been +thinking of another tour abroad? He said he had heard it mentioned. She +broke another momentary silence by adding, with some hesitation, that +papa had abandoned the idea. + +At this, he thought directly, 'they are to be married.' + +'Mr Clennam,' she said, hesitating more timidly yet, and speaking so low +that he bent his head to hear her. 'I should very much like to give you +my confidence, if you would not mind having the goodness to receive +it. I should have very much liked to have given it to you long ago, +because--I felt that you were becoming so much our friend.' + +'How can I be otherwise than proud of it at any time! Pray give it to +me. Pray trust me.' + +'I could never have been afraid of trusting you,' she returned, raising +her eyes frankly to his face. 'I think I would have done so some time +ago, if I had known how. But I scarcely know how, even now.' + +'Mr Gowan,' said Arthur Clennam, 'has reason to be very happy. God bless +his wife and him!' + +She wept, as she tried to thank him. He reassured her, took her hand +as it lay with the trembling roses in it on his arm, took the remaining +roses from it, and put it to his lips. At that time, it seemed to him, +he first finally resigned the dying hope that had flickered in nobody's +heart so much to its pain and trouble; and from that time he became in +his own eyes, as to any similar hope or prospect, a very much older man +who had done with that part of life. + +He put the roses in his breast and they walked on for a little while, +slowly and silently, under the umbrageous trees. Then he asked her, in +a voice of cheerful kindness, was there anything else that she would +say to him as her friend and her father's friend, many years older than +herself; was there any trust she would repose in him, any service she +would ask of him, any little aid to her happiness that she could give +him the lasting gratification of believing it was in his power to +render? + +She was going to answer, when she was so touched by some little hidden +sorrow or sympathy--what could it have been?--that she said, bursting +into tears again: 'O Mr Clennam! Good, generous, Mr Clennam, pray tell +me you do not blame me.' + +'I blame you?' said Clennam. 'My dearest girl! I blame you? No!' + +After clasping both her hands upon his arm, and looking confidentially +up into his face, with some hurried words to the effect that she thanked +him from her heart (as she did, if it be the source of earnestness), she +gradually composed herself, with now and then a word of encouragement +from him, as they walked on slowly and almost silently under the +darkening trees. + +'And, now, Minnie Gowan,' at length said Clennam, smiling; 'will you ask +me nothing?' + +'Oh! I have very much to ask of you.' + +'That's well! I hope so; I am not disappointed.' + +'You know how I am loved at home, and how I love home. You can hardly +think it perhaps, dear Mr Clennam,' she spoke with great agitation, +'seeing me going from it of my own free will and choice, but I do so +dearly love it!' + +'I am sure of that,' said Clennam. 'Can you suppose I doubt it?' + +'No, no. But it is strange, even to me, that loving it so much and +being so much beloved in it, I can bear to cast it away. It seems so +neglectful of it, so unthankful.' + +'My dear girl,' said Clennam, 'it is in the natural progress and change +of time. All homes are left so.' + +'Yes, I know; but all homes are not left with such a blank in them as +there will be in mine when I am gone. Not that there is any scarcity of +far better and more endearing and more accomplished girls than I am; not +that I am much, but that they have made so much of me!' + +Pet's affectionate heart was overcharged, and she sobbed while she +pictured what would happen. + +'I know what a change papa will feel at first, and I know that at first +I cannot be to him anything like what I have been these many years. +And it is then, Mr Clennam, then more than at any time, that I beg and +entreat you to remember him, and sometimes to keep him company when you +can spare a little while; and to tell him that you know I was fonder +of him when I left him, than I ever was in all my life. For there is +nobody--he told me so himself when he talked to me this very day--there +is nobody he likes so well as you, or trusts so much.' + +A clue to what had passed between the father and daughter dropped like +a heavy stone into the well of Clennam's heart, and swelled the water +to his eyes. He said, cheerily, but not quite so cheerily as he tried to +say, that it should be done--that he gave her his faithful promise. + +'If I do not speak of mama,' said Pet, more moved by, and more pretty +in, her innocent grief, than Clennam could trust himself even to +consider--for which reason he counted the trees between them and the +fading light as they slowly diminished in number--'it is because mama +will understand me better in this action, and will feel my loss in a +different way, and will look forward in a different manner. But you know +what a dear, devoted mother she is, and you will remember her too; will +you not?' + +Let Minnie trust him, Clennam said, let Minnie trust him to do all she +wished. + +'And, dear Mr Clennam,' said Minnie, 'because papa and one whom I need +not name, do not fully appreciate and understand one another yet, as +they will by-and-by; and because it will be the duty, and the pride, +and pleasure of my new life, to draw them to a better knowledge of one +another, and to be a happiness to one another, and to be proud of one +another, and to love one another, both loving me so dearly; oh, as you +are a kind, true man! when I am first separated from home (I am going a +long distance away), try to reconcile papa to him a little more, and use +your great influence to keep him before papa's mind free from +prejudice and in his real form. Will you do this for me, as you are a +noble-hearted friend?' + +Poor Pet! Self-deceived, mistaken child! When were such changes +ever made in men's natural relations to one another: when was such +reconcilement of ingrain differences ever effected! It has been tried +many times by other daughters, Minnie; it has never succeeded; nothing +has ever come of it but failure. + +So Clennam thought. So he did not say; it was too late. He bound himself +to do all she asked, and she knew full well that he would do it. + +They were now at the last tree in the avenue. She stopped, and withdrew +her arm. Speaking to him with her eyes lifted up to his, and with the +hand that had lately rested on his sleeve trembling by touching one of +the roses in his breast as an additional appeal to him, she said: + +'Dear Mr Clennam, in my happiness--for I am happy, though you have seen +me crying--I cannot bear to leave any cloud between us. If you have +anything to forgive me (not anything that I have wilfully done, but any +trouble I may have caused you without meaning it, or having it in my +power to help it), forgive me to-night out of your noble heart!' + +He stooped to meet the guileless face that met his without shrinking. He +kissed it, and answered, Heaven knew that he had nothing to forgive. +As he stooped to meet the innocent face once again, she whispered, +'Good-bye!' and he repeated it. It was taking leave of all his old +hopes--all nobody's old restless doubts. They came out of the avenue +next moment, arm-in-arm as they had entered it: and the trees seemed to +close up behind them in the darkness, like their own perspective of the +past. + +The voices of Mr and Mrs Meagles and Doyce were audible directly, +speaking near the garden gate. Hearing Pet's name among them, Clennam +called out, 'She is here, with me.' There was some little wondering and +laughing until they came up; but as soon as they had all come together, +it ceased, and Pet glided away. + +Mr Meagles, Doyce, and Clennam, without speaking, walked up and down +on the brink of the river, in the light of the rising moon, for a few +minutes; and then Doyce lingered behind, and went into the house. Mr +Meagles and Clennam walked up and down together for a few minutes more +without speaking, until at length the former broke silence. + +'Arthur,' said he, using that familiar address for the first time in +their communication, 'do you remember my telling you, as we walked up +and down one hot morning, looking over the harbour at Marseilles, that +Pet's baby sister who was dead seemed to Mother and me to have grown as +she had grown, and changed as she had changed?' + +'Very well.' + +'You remember my saying that our thoughts had never been able to +separate those twin sisters, and that, in our fancy, whatever Pet was, +the other was?' + +'Yes, very well.' + +'Arthur,' said Mr Meagles, much subdued, 'I carry that fancy further +to-night. I feel to-night, my dear fellow, as if you had loved my dead +child very tenderly, and had lost her when she was like what Pet is +now.' + +'Thank you!' murmured Clennam, 'thank you!' And pressed his hand. + +'Will you come in?' said Mr Meagles, presently. + +'In a little while.' + +Mr Meagles fell away, and he was left alone. When he had walked on the +river's brink in the peaceful moonlight for some half an hour, he put +his hand in his breast and tenderly took out the handful of roses. +Perhaps he put them to his heart, perhaps he put them to his lips, but +certainly he bent down on the shore and gently launched them on the +flowing river. Pale and unreal in the moonlight, the river floated them +away. + +The lights were bright within doors when he entered, and the faces on +which they shone, his own face not excepted, were soon quietly cheerful. +They talked of many subjects (his partner never had had such a ready +store to draw upon for the beguiling of the time), and so to bed, and to +sleep. While the flowers, pale and unreal in the moonlight, floated away +upon the river; and thus do greater things that once were in our +breasts, and near our hearts, flow from us to the eternal seas. + + + + +CHAPTER 29. Mrs Flintwinch goes on Dreaming + + +The house in the city preserved its heavy dulness through all these +transactions, and the invalid within it turned the same unvarying +round of life. Morning, noon, and night, morning, noon, and night, each +recurring with its accompanying monotony, always the same reluctant +return of the same sequences of machinery, like a dragging piece of +clockwork. + +The wheeled chair had its associated remembrances and reveries, one may +suppose, as every place that is made the station of a human being has. +Pictures of demolished streets and altered houses, as they formerly were +when the occupant of the chair was familiar with them, images of people +as they too used to be, with little or no allowance made for the lapse +of time since they were seen; of these, there must have been many in the +long routine of gloomy days. To stop the clock of busy existence at the +hour when we were personally sequestered from it, to suppose mankind +stricken motionless when we were brought to a stand-still, to be unable +to measure the changes beyond our view by any larger standard than +the shrunken one of our own uniform and contracted existence, is the +infirmity of many invalids, and the mental unhealthiness of almost all +recluses. + +What scenes and actors the stern woman most reviewed, as she sat +from season to season in her one dark room, none knew but herself. Mr +Flintwinch, with his wry presence brought to bear upon her daily like +some eccentric mechanical force, would perhaps have screwed it out of +her, if there had been less resistance in her; but she was too strong +for him. So far as Mistress Affery was concerned, to regard her +liege-lord and her disabled mistress with a face of blank wonder, to +go about the house after dark with her apron over her head, always to +listen for the strange noises and sometimes to hear them, and never +to emerge from her ghostly, dreamy, sleep-waking state, was occupation +enough for her. + +There was a fair stroke of business doing, as Mistress Affery made out, +for her husband had abundant occupation in his little office, and saw +more people than had been used to come there for some years. This might +easily be, the house having been long deserted; but he did receive +letters, and comers, and keep books, and correspond. Moreover, he went +about to other counting-houses, and to wharves, and docks, and to the +Custom House, and to Garraway's Coffee House, and the Jerusalem Coffee +House, and on 'Change; so that he was much in and out. He began, too, +sometimes of an evening, when Mrs Clennam expressed no particular wish +for his society, to resort to a tavern in the neighbourhood to look at +the shipping news and closing prices in the evening paper, and even to +exchange small socialities with mercantile Sea Captains who frequented +that establishment. At some period of every day, he and Mrs Clennam held +a council on matters of business; and it appeared to Affery, who was +always groping about, listening and watching, that the two clever ones +were making money. + +The state of mind into which Mr Flintwinch's dazed lady had fallen, had +now begun to be so expressed in all her looks and actions that she was +held in very low account by the two clever ones, as a person, never +of strong intellect, who was becoming foolish. Perhaps because her +appearance was not of a commercial cast, or perhaps because it occurred +to him that his having taken her to wife might expose his judgment to +doubt in the minds of customers, Mr Flintwinch laid his commands upon +her that she should hold her peace on the subject of her conjugal +relations, and should no longer call him Jeremiah out of the domestic +trio. Her frequent forgetfulness of this admonition intensified her +startled manner, since Mr Flintwinch's habit of avenging himself on her +remissness by making springs after her on the staircase, and shaking +her, occasioned her to be always nervously uncertain when she might be +thus waylaid next. + +Little Dorrit had finished a long day's work in Mrs Clennam's room, and +was neatly gathering up her shreds and odds and ends before going home. +Mr Pancks, whom Affery had just shown in, was addressing an inquiry to +Mrs Clennam on the subject of her health, coupled with the remark that, +'happening to find himself in that direction,' he had looked in to +inquire, on behalf of his proprietor, how she found herself. Mrs +Clennam, with a deep contraction of her brows, was looking at him. + +'Mr Casby knows,' said she, 'that I am not subject to changes. The +change that I await here is the great change.' + +'Indeed, ma'am?' returned Mr Pancks, with a wandering eye towards the +figure of the little seamstress on her knee picking threads and fraying +of her work from the carpet. 'You look nicely, ma'am.' + +'I bear what I have to bear,' she answered. 'Do you what you have to +do.' + +'Thank you, ma'am,' said Mr Pancks, 'such is my endeavour.' + +'You are often in this direction, are you not?' asked Mrs Clennam. + +'Why, yes, ma'am,' said Pancks, 'rather so lately; I have lately been +round this way a good deal, owing to one thing and another.' + +'Beg Mr Casby and his daughter not to trouble themselves, by deputy, +about me. When they wish to see me, they know I am here to see them. +They have no need to trouble themselves to send. You have no need to +trouble yourself to come.' + +'Not the least trouble, ma'am,' said Mr Pancks. 'You really are looking +uncommonly nicely, ma'am.' + +'Thank you. Good evening.' + +The dismissal, and its accompanying finger pointed straight at the door, +was so curt and direct that Mr Pancks did not see his way to prolong his +visit. He stirred up his hair with his sprightliest expression, glanced +at the little figure again, said 'Good evening, ma 'am; don't come down, +Mrs Affery, I know the road to the door,' and steamed out. Mrs Clennam, +her chin resting on her hand, followed him with attentive and darkly +distrustful eyes; and Affery stood looking at her as if she were +spell-bound. + +Slowly and thoughtfully, Mrs Clennam's eyes turned from the door by +which Pancks had gone out, to Little Dorrit, rising from the carpet. +With her chin drooping more heavily on her hand, and her eyes vigilant +and lowering, the sick woman sat looking at her until she attracted her +attention. Little Dorrit coloured under such a gaze, and looked down. +Mrs Clennam still sat intent. + +'Little Dorrit,' she said, when she at last broke silence, 'what do you +know of that man?' + +'I don't know anything of him, ma'am, except that I have seen him about, +and that he has spoken to me.' + +'What has he said to you?' + +'I don't understand what he has said, he is so strange. But nothing +rough or disagreeable.' + +'Why does he come here to see you?' + +'I don't know, ma'am,' said Little Dorrit, with perfect frankness. + +'You know that he does come here to see you?' + +'I have fancied so,' said Little Dorrit. 'But why he should come here or +anywhere for that, ma'am, I can't think.' + +Mrs Clennam cast her eyes towards the ground, and with her strong, set +face, as intent upon a subject in her mind as it had lately been upon +the form that seemed to pass out of her view, sat absorbed. Some minutes +elapsed before she came out of this thoughtfulness, and resumed her hard +composure. + +Little Dorrit in the meanwhile had been waiting to go, but afraid to +disturb her by moving. She now ventured to leave the spot where she +had been standing since she had risen, and to pass gently round by the +wheeled chair. She stopped at its side to say 'Good night, ma'am.' + +Mrs Clennam put out her hand, and laid it on her arm. Little Dorrit, +confused under the touch, stood faltering. Perhaps some momentary +recollection of the story of the Princess may have been in her mind. + +'Tell me, Little Dorrit,' said Mrs Clennam, 'have you many friends now?' + +'Very few, ma'am. Besides you, only Miss Flora and--one more.' + +'Meaning,' said Mrs Clennam, with her unbent finger again pointing to +the door, 'that man?' + +'Oh no, ma'am!' + +'Some friend of his, perhaps?' + +'No ma'am.' Little Dorrit earnestly shook her head. 'Oh no! No one at +all like him, or belonging to him.' + +'Well!' said Mrs Clennam, almost smiling. 'It is no affair of mine. I +ask, because I take an interest in you; and because I believe I was your +friend when you had no other who could serve you. Is that so?' + +'Yes, ma'am; indeed it is. I have been here many a time when, but for +you and the work you gave me, we should have wanted everything.' + +'We,' repeated Mrs Clennam, looking towards the watch, once her dead +husband's, which always lay upon her table. 'Are there many of you?' + +'Only father and I, now. I mean, only father and I to keep regularly out +of what we get.' + +'Have you undergone many privations? You and your father and who else +there may be of you?' asked Mrs Clennam, speaking deliberately, and +meditatively turning the watch over and over. + +'Sometimes it has been rather hard to live,' said Little Dorrit, in her +soft voice, and timid uncomplaining way; 'but I think not harder--as to +that--than many people find it.' + +'That's well said!' Mrs Clennam quickly returned. 'That's the truth! +You are a good, thoughtful girl. You are a grateful girl too, or I much +mistake you.' + +'It is only natural to be that. There is no merit in being that,' said +Little Dorrit. 'I am indeed.' + +Mrs Clennam, with a gentleness of which the dreaming Affery had never +dreamed her to be capable, drew down the face of her little seamstress, +and kissed her on the forehead. + +'Now go, Little Dorrit,' said she,'or you will be late, poor child!' + +In all the dreams Mistress Affery had been piling up since she first +became devoted to the pursuit, she had dreamed nothing more astonishing +than this. Her head ached with the idea that she would find the other +clever one kissing Little Dorrit next, and then the two clever ones +embracing each other and dissolving into tears of tenderness for all +mankind. The idea quite stunned her, as she attended the light footsteps +down the stairs, that the house door might be safely shut. + +On opening it to let Little Dorrit out, she found Mr Pancks, instead +of having gone his way, as in any less wonderful place and among less +wonderful phenomena he might have been reasonably expected to do, +fluttering up and down the court outside the house. The moment he saw +Little Dorrit, he passed her briskly, said with his finger to his nose +(as Mrs Affery distinctly heard), 'Pancks the gipsy, fortune-telling,' +and went away. 'Lord save us, here's a gipsy and a fortune-teller in it +now!' cried Mistress Affery. 'What next!' + +She stood at the open door, staggering herself with this enigma, on a +rainy, thundery evening. The clouds were flying fast, and the wind was +coming up in gusts, banging some neighbouring shutters that had broken +loose, twirling the rusty chimney-cowls and weather-cocks, and rushing +round and round a confined adjacent churchyard as if it had a mind to +blow the dead citizens out of their graves. The low thunder, muttering +in all quarters of the sky at once, seemed to threaten vengeance for +this attempted desecration, and to mutter, 'Let them rest! Let them +rest!' + +Mistress Affery, whose fear of thunder and lightning was only to +be equalled by her dread of the haunted house with a premature and +preternatural darkness in it, stood undecided whether to go in or not, +until the question was settled for her by the door blowing upon her in +a violent gust of wind and shutting her out. 'What's to be done now, +what's to be done now!' cried Mistress Affery, wringing her hands in +this last uneasy dream of all; 'when she's all alone by herself +inside, and can no more come down to open it than the churchyard dead +themselves!' + +In this dilemma, Mistress Affery, with her apron as a hood to keep the +rain off, ran crying up and down the solitary paved enclosure several +times. Why she should then stoop down and look in at the keyhole of the +door as if an eye would open it, it would be difficult to say; but it +is none the less what most people would have done in the same situation, +and it is what she did. + +From this posture she started up suddenly, with a half scream, feeling +something on her shoulder. It was the touch of a hand; of a man's hand. + +The man was dressed like a traveller, in a foraging cap with fur about +it, and a heap of cloak. He looked like a foreigner. He had a quantity +of hair and moustache--jet black, except at the shaggy ends, where +it had a tinge of red--and a high hook nose. He laughed at Mistress +Affery's start and cry; and as he laughed, his moustache went up under +his nose, and his nose came down over his moustache. + +'What's the matter?' he asked in plain English. 'What are you frightened +at?' + +'At you,' panted Affery. + +'Me, madam?' + +'And the dismal evening, and--and everything,' said Affery. 'And here! +The wind has been and blown the door to, and I can't get in.' + +'Hah!' said the gentleman, who took that very coolly. 'Indeed! Do you +know such a name as Clennam about here?' + +'Lord bless us, I should think I did, I should think I did!' cried +Affery, exasperated into a new wringing of hands by the inquiry. + +'Where about here?' + +'Where!' cried Affery, goaded into another inspection of the keyhole. +'Where but here in this house? And she's all alone in her room, and lost +the use of her limbs and can't stir to help herself or me, and t'other +clever one's out, and Lord forgive me!' cried Affery, driven into a +frantic dance by these accumulated considerations, 'if I ain't a-going +headlong out of my mind!' + +Taking a warmer view of the matter now that it concerned himself, the +gentleman stepped back to glance at the house, and his eye soon rested +on the long narrow window of the little room near the hall-door. + +'Where may the lady be who has lost the use of her limbs, madam?' he +inquired, with that peculiar smile which Mistress Affery could not +choose but keep her eyes upon. + +'Up there!' said Affery. 'Them two windows.' + +'Hah! I am of a fair size, but could not have the honour of presenting +myself in that room without a ladder. Now, madam, frankly--frankness is +a part of my character--shall I open the door for you?' + +'Yes, bless you, sir, for a dear creetur, and do it at once,' cried +Affery, 'for she may be a-calling to me at this very present minute, or +may be setting herself a fire and burning herself to death, or there's +no knowing what may be happening to her, and me a-going out of my mind +at thinking of it!' + +'Stay, my good madam!' He restrained her impatience with a smooth white +hand. 'Business-hours, I apprehend, are over for the day?' + +'Yes, yes, yes,' cried Affery. 'Long ago.' + +'Let me make, then, a fair proposal. Fairness is a part of my character. +I am just landed from the packet-boat, as you may see.' He showed her +that his cloak was very wet, and that his boots were saturated with +water; she had previously observed that he was dishevelled and sallow, +as if from a rough voyage, and so chilled that he could not keep his +teeth from chattering. 'I am just landed from the packet-boat, madam, +and have been delayed by the weather: the infernal weather! In +consequence of this, madam, some necessary business that I should +otherwise have transacted here within the regular hours (necessary +business because money-business), still remains to be done. Now, if you +will fetch any authorised neighbouring somebody to do it in return for +my opening the door, I'll open the door. If this arrangement should be +objectionable, I'll--' and with the same smile he made a significant +feint of backing away. + +Mistress Affery, heartily glad to effect the proposed compromise, gave +in her willing adhesion to it. The gentleman at once requested her to +do him the favour of holding his cloak, took a short run at the narrow +window, made a leap at the sill, clung his way up the bricks, and in +a moment had his hand at the sash, raising it. His eyes looked so very +sinister, as he put his leg into the room and glanced round at Mistress +Affery, that she thought with a sudden coldness, if he were to go +straight up-stairs to murder the invalid, what could she do to prevent +him? + +Happily he had no such purpose; for he reappeared, in a moment, at the +house door. 'Now, my dear madam,' he said, as he took back his cloak and +threw it on, 'if you have the goodness to--what the Devil's that!' + +The strangest of sounds. Evidently close at hand from the peculiar +shock it communicated to the air, yet subdued as if it were far off. A +tremble, a rumble, and a fall of some light dry matter. + +'What the Devil is it?' + +'I don't know what it is, but I've heard the like of it over and over +again,' said Affery, who had caught his arm. + +He could hardly be a very brave man, even she thought in her dreamy +start and fright, for his trembling lips had turned colourless. After +listening a few moments, he made light of it. + +'Bah! Nothing! Now, my dear madam, I think you spoke of some clever +personage. Will you be so good as to confront me with that genius?' He +held the door in his hand, as though he were quite ready to shut her out +again if she failed. + +'Don't you say anything about the door and me, then,' whispered Affery. + +'Not a word.' + +'And don't you stir from here, or speak if she calls, while I run round +the corner.' + +'Madam, I am a statue.' + +Affery had so vivid a fear of his going stealthily up-stairs the moment +her back was turned, that after hurrying out of sight, she returned to +the gateway to peep at him. Seeing him still on the threshold, more out +of the house than in it, as if he had no love for darkness and no +desire to probe its mysteries, she flew into the next street, and sent a +message into the tavern to Mr Flintwinch, who came out directly. The +two returning together--the lady in advance, and Mr Flintwinch coming up +briskly behind, animated with the hope of shaking her before she could +get housed--saw the gentleman standing in the same place in the dark, +and heard the strong voice of Mrs Clennam calling from her room, 'Who is +it? What is it? Why does no one answer? Who _is_ that, down there?' + + + + +CHAPTER 30. The Word of a Gentleman + + +When Mr and Mrs Flintwinch panted up to the door of the old house in the +twilight, Jeremiah within a second of Affery, the stranger started back. +'Death of my soul!' he exclaimed. 'Why, how did you get here?' + +Mr Flintwinch, to whom these words were spoken, repaid the stranger's +wonder in full. He gazed at him with blank astonishment; he looked over +his own shoulder, as expecting to see some one he had not been aware of +standing behind him; he gazed at the stranger again, speechlessly, at +a loss to know what he meant; he looked to his wife for explanation; +receiving none, he pounced upon her, and shook her with such heartiness +that he shook her cap off her head, saying between his teeth, with grim +raillery, as he did it, 'Affery, my woman, you must have a dose, my +woman! This is some of your tricks! You have been dreaming again, +mistress. What's it about? Who is it? What does it mean! Speak out or be +choked! It's the only choice I'll give you.' + +Supposing Mistress Affery to have any power of election at the moment, +her choice was decidedly to be choked; for she answered not a syllable +to this adjuration, but, with her bare head wagging violently backwards +and forwards, resigned herself to her punishment. The stranger, however, +picking up her cap with an air of gallantry, interposed. + +'Permit me,' said he, laying his hand on the shoulder of Jeremiah, who +stopped and released his victim. 'Thank you. Excuse me. Husband and +wife I know, from this playfulness. Haha! Always agreeable to see that +relation playfully maintained. Listen! May I suggest that somebody +up-stairs, in the dark, is becoming energetically curious to know what +is going on here?' + +This reference to Mrs Clennam's voice reminded Mr Flintwinch to step +into the hall and call up the staircase. 'It's all right, I am here, +Affery is coming with your light.' Then he said to the latter +flustered woman, who was putting her cap on, 'Get out with you, and get +up-stairs!' and then turned to the stranger and said to him, 'Now, sir, +what might you please to want?' + +'I am afraid,' said the stranger, 'I must be so troublesome as to +propose a candle.' + +'True,' assented Jeremiah. 'I was going to do so. Please to stand where +you are while I get one.' + +The visitor was standing in the doorway, but turned a little into the +gloom of the house as Mr Flintwinch turned, and pursued him with his +eyes into the little room, where he groped about for a phosphorus box. +When he found it, it was damp, or otherwise out of order; and match +after match that he struck into it lighted sufficiently to throw a dull +glare about his groping face, and to sprinkle his hands with pale little +spots of fire, but not sufficiently to light the candle. The stranger, +taking advantage of this fitful illumination of his visage, looked +intently and wonderingly at him. Jeremiah, when he at last lighted +the candle, knew he had been doing this, by seeing the last shade of +a lowering watchfulness clear away from his face, as it broke into the +doubtful smile that was a large ingredient in its expression. + +'Be so good,' said Jeremiah, closing the house door, and taking a pretty +sharp survey of the smiling visitor in his turn, 'as to step into my +counting-house.--It's all right, I tell you!' petulantly breaking off to +answer the voice up-stairs, still unsatisfied, though Affery was there, +speaking in persuasive tones. 'Don't I tell you it's all right? Preserve +the woman, has she no reason at all in her!' + +'Timorous,' remarked the stranger. + +'Timorous?' said Mr Flintwinch, turning his head to retort, as he went +before with the candle. 'More courageous than ninety men in a hundred, +sir, let me tell you.' + +'Though an invalid?' + +'Many years an invalid. Mrs Clennam. The only one of that name left +in the House now. My partner.' + +Saying something apologetically as he crossed the hall, to the effect +that at that time of night they were not in the habit of receiving any +one, and were always shut up, Mr Flintwinch led the way into his own +office, which presented a sufficiently business-like appearance. Here he +put the light on his desk, and said to the stranger, with his wryest +twist upon him, 'Your commands.' + +'My name is Blandois.' + +'Blandois. I don't know it,' said Jeremiah. + +'I thought it possible,' resumed the other, 'that you might have been +advised from Paris--' + +'We have had no advice from Paris respecting anybody of the name of +Blandois,' said Jeremiah. + +'No?' + +'No.' + +Jeremiah stood in his favourite attitude. The smiling Mr Blandois, +opening his cloak to get his hand to a breast-pocket, paused to say, +with a laugh in his glittering eyes, which it occurred to Mr Flintwinch +were too near together: + +'You are so like a friend of mine! Not so identically the same as I +supposed when I really did for the moment take you to be the same in the +dusk--for which I ought to apologise; permit me to do so; a readiness +to confess my errors is, I hope, a part of the frankness of my +character--still, however, uncommonly like.' + +'Indeed?' said Jeremiah, perversely. 'But I have not received any letter +of advice from anywhere respecting anybody of the name of Blandois.' + +'Just so,' said the stranger. + +'_Just_ so,' said Jeremiah. + +Mr Blandois, not at all put out by this omission on the part of the +correspondents of the house of Clennam and Co., took his pocket-book +from his breast-pocket, selected a letter from that receptacle, and +handed it to Mr Flintwinch. 'No doubt you are well acquainted with the +writing. Perhaps the letter speaks for itself, and requires no advice. +You are a far more competent judge of such affairs than I am. It is my +misfortune to be, not so much a man of business, as what the world calls +(arbitrarily) a gentleman.' + +Mr Flintwinch took the letter, and read, under date of Paris, 'We have +to present to you, on behalf of a highly esteemed correspondent of our +Firm, M. Blandois, of this city,' &c. &c. 'Such facilities as he may +require and such attentions as may lie in your power,' &c. &c. 'Also +have to add that if you will honour M. Blandois' drafts at sight to the +extent of, say Fifty Pounds sterling (50_l_.),' &c. &c. + +'Very good, sir,' said Mr Flintwinch. 'Take a chair. To the extent of +anything that our House can do--we are in a retired, old-fashioned, +steady way of business, sir--we shall be happy to render you our best +assistance. I observe, from the date of this, that we could not yet be +advised of it. Probably you came over with the delayed mail that brings +the advice.' + +'That I came over with the delayed mail, sir,' returned Mr Blandois, +passing his white hand down his high-hooked nose, 'I know to the cost +of my head and stomach: the detestable and intolerable weather having +racked them both. You see me in the plight in which I came out of the +packet within this half-hour. I ought to have been here hours ago, +and then I should not have to apologise--permit me to apologise--for +presenting myself so unreasonably, and frightening--no, by-the-bye, you +said not frightening; permit me to apologise again--the esteemed lady, +Mrs Clennam, in her invalid chamber above stairs.' + +Swagger and an air of authorised condescension do so much, that +Mr Flintwinch had already begun to think this a highly gentlemanly +personage. Not the less unyielding with him on that account, he scraped +his chin and said, what could he have the honour of doing for Mr +Blandois to-night, out of business hours? + +'Faith!' returned that gentleman, shrugging his cloaked shoulders, +'I must change, and eat and drink, and be lodged somewhere. Have the +kindness to advise me, a total stranger, where, and money is a matter of +perfect indifference until to-morrow. The nearer the place, the better. +Next door, if that's all.' + +Mr Flintwinch was slowly beginning, 'For a gentleman of your habits, +there is not in this immediate neighbourhood any hotel--' when Mr +Blandois took him up. + +'So much for my habits! my dear sir,' snapping his fingers. 'A citizen +of the world has no habits. That I am, in my poor way, a gentleman, +by Heaven! I will not deny, but I have no unaccommodating prejudiced +habits. A clean room, a hot dish for dinner, and a bottle of not +absolutely poisonous wine, are all I want tonight. But I want that much +without the trouble of going one unnecessary inch to get it.' + +'There is,' said Mr Flintwinch, with more than his usual deliberation, +as he met, for a moment, Mr Blandois' shining eyes, which were restless; +'there is a coffee-house and tavern close here, which, so far, I can +recommend; but there's no style about it.' + +'I dispense with style!' said Mr Blandois, waving his hand. 'Do me the +honour to show me the house, and introduce me there (if I am not too +troublesome), and I shall be infinitely obliged.' + +Mr Flintwinch, upon this, looked up his hat, and lighted Mr Blandois +across the hall again. As he put the candle on a bracket, where the +dark old panelling almost served as an extinguisher for it, he bethought +himself of going up to tell the invalid that he would not be absent five +minutes. + +'Oblige me,' said the visitor, on his saying so, 'by presenting my card +of visit. Do me the favour to add that I shall be happy to wait on Mrs +Clennam, to offer my personal compliments, and to apologise for having +occasioned any agitation in this tranquil corner, if it should suit her +convenience to endure the presence of a stranger for a few minutes, +after he shall have changed his wet clothes and fortified himself with +something to eat and drink.' + +Jeremiah made all despatch, and said, on his return, 'She'll be glad +to see you, sir; but, being conscious that her sick room has no +attractions, wishes me to say that she won't hold you to your offer, in +case you should think better of it.' + +'To think better of it,' returned the gallant Blandois, 'would be to +slight a lady; to slight a lady would be to be deficient in chivalry +towards the sex; and chivalry towards the sex is a part of my +character!' Thus expressing himself, he threw the draggled skirt of his +cloak over his shoulder, and accompanied Mr Flintwinch to the tavern; +taking up on the road a porter who was waiting with his portmanteau on +the outer side of the gateway. + +The house was kept in a homely manner, and the condescension of Mr +Blandois was infinite. It seemed to fill to inconvenience the little bar +in which the widow landlady and her two daughters received him; it was +much too big for the narrow wainscoted room with a bagatelle-board in +it, that was first proposed for his reception; it perfectly swamped the +little private holiday sitting-room of the family, which was finally +given up to him. Here, in dry clothes and scented linen, with sleeked +hair, a great ring on each forefinger and a massive show of watch-chain, +Mr Blandois waiting for his dinner, lolling on a window-seat with his +knees drawn up, looked (for all the difference in the setting of the +jewel) fearfully and wonderfully like a certain Monsieur Rigaud who had +once so waited for his breakfast, lying on the stone ledge of the iron +grating of a cell in a villainous dungeon at Marseilles. + +His greed at dinner, too, was closely in keeping with the greed of +Monsieur Rigaud at breakfast. His avaricious manner of collecting all +the eatables about him, and devouring some with his eyes while devouring +others with his jaws, was the same manner. His utter disregard of +other people, as shown in his way of tossing the little womanly toys +of furniture about, flinging favourite cushions under his boots for a +softer rest, and crushing delicate coverings with his big body and his +great black head, had the same brute selfishness at the bottom of it. +The softly moving hands that were so busy among the dishes had the old +wicked facility of the hands that had clung to the bars. And when he +could eat no more, and sat sucking his delicate fingers one by one and +wiping them on a cloth, there wanted nothing but the substitution of +vine-leaves to finish the picture. + +On this man, with his moustache going up and his nose coming down in +that most evil of smiles, and with his surface eyes looking as if they +belonged to his dyed hair, and had had their natural power of reflecting +light stopped by some similar process, Nature, always true, and never +working in vain, had set the mark, Beware! It was not her fault, if the +warning were fruitless. She is never to blame in any such instance. + +Mr Blandois, having finished his repast and cleaned his fingers, took +a cigar from his pocket, and, lying on the window-seat again, smoked it +out at his leisure, occasionally apostrophising the smoke as it parted +from his thin lips in a thin stream: + +'Blandois, you shall turn the tables on society, my little child. Haha! +Holy blue, you have begun well, Blandois! At a pinch, an excellent +master in English or French; a man for the bosom of families! You have +a quick perception, you have humour, you have ease, you have insinuating +manners, you have a good appearance; in effect, you are a gentleman! A +gentleman you shall live, my small boy, and a gentleman you shall die. +You shall win, however the game goes. They shall all confess your merit, +Blandois. You shall subdue the society which has grievously wronged +you, to your own high spirit. Death of my soul! You are high spirited by +right and by nature, my Blandois!' + +To such soothing murmurs did this gentleman smoke out his cigar and +drink out his bottle of wine. Both being finished, he shook himself into +a sitting attitude; and with the concluding serious apostrophe, 'Hold, +then! Blandois, you ingenious one, have all your wits about you!' arose +and went back to the house of Clennam and Co. + +He was received at the door by Mistress Affery, who, under instructions +from her lord, had lighted up two candles in the hall and a third on the +staircase, and who conducted him to Mrs Clennam's room. Tea was prepared +there, and such little company arrangements had been made as usually +attended the reception of expected visitors. They were slight on the +greatest occasion, never extending beyond the production of the China +tea-service, and the covering of the bed with a sober and sad drapery. +For the rest, there was the bier-like sofa with the block upon it, and +the figure in the widow's dress, as if attired for execution; the fire +topped by the mound of damped ashes; the grate with its second little +mound of ashes; the kettle and the smell of black dye; all as they had +been for fifteen years. + +Mr Flintwinch presented the gentleman commended to the consideration of +Clennam and Co. Mrs Clennam, who had the letter lying before her, bent +her head and requested him to sit. They looked very closely at one +another. That was but natural curiosity. + +'I thank you, sir, for thinking of a disabled woman like me. Few who +come here on business have any remembrance to bestow on one so removed +from observation. It would be idle to expect that they should have. Out +of sight, out of mind. While I am grateful for the exception, I don't +complain of the rule.' + +Mr Blandois, in his most gentlemanly manner, was afraid he had disturbed +her by unhappily presenting himself at such an unconscionable time. For +which he had already offered his best apologies to Mr--he begged +pardon--but by name had not the distinguished honour-- + +'Mr Flintwinch has been connected with the House many years.' + +Mr Blandois was Mr Flintwinch's most obedient humble servant. He +entreated Mr Flintwinch to receive the assurance of his profoundest +consideration. + +'My husband being dead,' said Mrs Clennam, 'and my son preferring +another pursuit, our old House has no other representative in these days +than Mr Flintwinch.' + +'What do you call yourself?' was the surly demand of that gentleman. +'You have the head of two men.' + +'My sex disqualifies me,' she proceeded with merely a slight turn of +her eyes in Jeremiah's direction, 'from taking a responsible part in +the business, even if I had the ability; and therefore Mr Flintwinch +combines my interest with his own, and conducts it. It is not what it +used to be; but some of our old friends (principally the writers of this +letter) have the kindness not to forget us, and we retain the power +of doing what they entrust to us as efficiently as we ever did. This +however is not interesting to you. You are English, sir?' + +'Faith, madam, no; I am neither born nor bred in England. In effect, I +am of no country,' said Mr Blandois, stretching out his leg and smiting +it: 'I descend from half-a-dozen countries.' + +'You have been much about the world?' + +'It is true. By Heaven, madam, I have been here and there and +everywhere!' + +'You have no ties, probably. Are not married?' + +'Madam,' said Mr Blandois, with an ugly fall of his eyebrows, 'I adore +your sex, but I am not married--never was.' + +Mistress Affery, who stood at the table near him, pouring out the tea, +happened in her dreamy state to look at him as he said these words, and +to fancy that she caught an expression in his eyes which attracted her +own eyes so that she could not get them away. The effect of this fancy +was to keep her staring at him with the tea-pot in her hand, not only to +her own great uneasiness, but manifestly to his, too; and, through them +both, to Mrs Clennam's and Mr Flintwinch's. Thus a few ghostly moments +supervened, when they were all confusedly staring without knowing why. + +'Affery,' her mistress was the first to say, 'what is the matter with +you?' + +'I don't know,' said Mistress Affery, with her disengaged left hand +extended towards the visitor. 'It ain't me. It's him!' + +'What does this good woman mean?' cried Mr Blandois, turning white, hot, +and slowly rising with a look of such deadly wrath that it contrasted +surprisingly with the slight force of his words. 'How is it possible to +understand this good creature?' + +'It's _not_ possible,' said Mr Flintwinch, screwing himself rapidly +in that direction. 'She don't know what she means. She's an idiot, a +wanderer in her mind. She shall have a dose, she shall have such a dose! +Get along with you, my woman,' he added in her ear, 'get along with you, +while you know you're Affery, and before you're shaken to yeast.' + +Mistress Affery, sensible of the danger in which her identity stood, +relinquished the tea-pot as her husband seized it, put her apron over +her head, and in a twinkling vanished. The visitor gradually broke into +a smile, and sat down again. + +'You'll excuse her, Mr Blandois,' said Jeremiah, pouring out the tea +himself, 'she's failing and breaking up; that's what she's about. Do you +take sugar, sir?' + +'Thank you, no tea for me.--Pardon my observing it, but that's a very +remarkable watch!' + +The tea-table was drawn up near the sofa, with a small interval between +it and Mrs Clennam's own particular table. Mr Blandois in his gallantry +had risen to hand that lady her tea (her dish of toast was already +there), and it was in placing the cup conveniently within her reach that +the watch, lying before her as it always did, attracted his attention. +Mrs Clennam looked suddenly up at him. + +'May I be permitted? Thank you. A fine old-fashioned watch,' he said, +taking it in his hand. 'Heavy for use, but massive and genuine. I have +a partiality for everything genuine. Such as I am, I am genuine myself. +Hah! A gentleman's watch with two cases in the old fashion. May I remove +it from the outer case? Thank you. Aye? An old silk watch-lining, worked +with beads! I have often seen these among old Dutch people and Belgians. +Quaint things!' + +'They are old-fashioned, too,' said Mrs Clennam. + +'Very. But this is not so old as the watch, I think?' + +'I think not.' + +'Extraordinary how they used to complicate these cyphers!' remarked Mr +Blandois, glancing up with his own smile again. 'Now is this D. N. F.? +It might be almost anything.' + +'Those are the letters.' + +Mr Flintwinch, who had been observantly pausing all this time with a cup +of tea in his hand, and his mouth open ready to swallow the contents, +began to do so: always entirely filling his mouth before he emptied it +at a gulp; and always deliberating again before he refilled it. + +'D. N. F. was some tender, lovely, fascinating fair-creature, I make no +doubt,' observed Mr Blandois, as he snapped on the case again. 'I adore +her memory on the assumption. Unfortunately for my peace of mind, +I adore but too readily. It may be a vice, it may be a virtue, but +adoration of female beauty and merit constitutes three parts of my +character, madam.' + +Mr Flintwinch had by this time poured himself out another cup of tea, +which he was swallowing in gulps as before, with his eyes directed to +the invalid. + +'You may be heart-free here, sir,' she returned to Mr Blandois. 'Those +letters are not intended, I believe, for the initials of any name.' + +'Of a motto, perhaps,' said Mr Blandois, casually. + +'Of a sentence. They have always stood, I believe, for Do Not Forget!' + +'And naturally,' said Mr Blandois, replacing the watch and stepping +backward to his former chair, 'you do _not_ forget.' + +Mr Flintwinch, finishing his tea, not only took a longer gulp than he +had taken yet, but made his succeeding pause under new circumstances: +that is to say, with his head thrown back and his cup held still at his +lips, while his eyes were still directed at the invalid. She had that +force of face, and that concentrated air of collecting her firmness or +obstinacy, which represented in her case what would have been gesture +and action in another, as she replied with her deliberate strength of +speech: + +'No, sir, I do not forget. To lead a life as monotonous as mine has been +during many years, is not the way to forget. To lead a life of +self-correction is not the way to forget. To be sensible of having (as +we all have, every one of us, all the children of Adam!) offences +to expiate and peace to make, does not justify the desire to forget. +Therefore I have long dismissed it, and I neither forget nor wish to +forget.' + +Mr Flintwinch, who had latterly been shaking the sediment at the bottom +of his tea-cup, round and round, here gulped it down, and putting the +cup in the tea-tray, as done with, turned his eyes upon Mr Blandois as +if to ask him what he thought of that? + +'All expressed, madam,' said Mr Blandois, with his smoothest bow and his +white hand on his breast, 'by the word "naturally," which I am proud +to have had sufficient apprehension and appreciation (but without +appreciation I could not be Blandois) to employ.' + +'Pardon me, sir,' she returned, 'if I doubt the likelihood of a +gentleman of pleasure, and change, and politeness, accustomed to court +and to be courted--' + +'Oh madam! By Heaven!' + +'--If I doubt the likelihood of such a character quite comprehending +what belongs to mine in my circumstances. Not to obtrude doctrine upon +you,' she looked at the rigid pile of hard pale books before her, '(for +you go your own way, and the consequences are on your own head), I will +say this much: that I shape my course by pilots, strictly by proved and +tried pilots, under whom I cannot be shipwrecked--can not be--and that +if I were unmindful of the admonition conveyed in those three letters, I +should not be half as chastened as I am.' + +It was curious how she seized the occasion to argue with some invisible +opponent. Perhaps with her own better sense, always turning upon herself +and her own deception. + +'If I forgot my ignorances in my life of health and freedom, I might +complain of the life to which I am now condemned. I never do; I never +have done. If I forgot that this scene, the Earth, is expressly meant to +be a scene of gloom, and hardship, and dark trial, for the creatures who +are made out of its dust, I might have some tenderness for its vanities. +But I have no such tenderness. If I did not know that we are, every one, +the subject (most justly the subject) of a wrath that must be satisfied, +and against which mere actions are nothing, I might repine at the +difference between me, imprisoned here, and the people who pass that +gateway yonder. But I take it as a grace and favour to be elected to +make the satisfaction I am making here, to know what I know for certain +here, and to work out what I have worked out here. My affliction might +otherwise have had no meaning to me. Hence I would forget, and I do +forget, nothing. Hence I am contented, and say it is better with me +than with millions.' + +As she spoke these words, she put her hand upon the watch, and restored +it to the precise spot on her little table which it always occupied. +With her touch lingering upon it, she sat for some moments afterwards, +looking at it steadily and half-defiantly. + +Mr Blandois, during this exposition, had been strictly attentive, +keeping his eyes fastened on the lady, and thoughtfully stroking his +moustache with his two hands. Mr Flintwinch had been a little fidgety, +and now struck in. + +'There, there, there!' said he. 'That is quite understood, Mrs Clennam, +and you have spoken piously and well. Mr Blandois, I suspect, is not +of a pious cast.' + +'On the contrary, sir!' that gentleman protested, snapping his fingers. +'Your pardon! It's a part of my character. I am sensitive, ardent, +conscientious, and imaginative. A sensitive, ardent, conscientious, and +imaginative man, Mr Flintwinch, must be that, or nothing!' + +There was an inkling of suspicion in Mr Flintwinch's face that he might +be nothing, as he swaggered out of his chair (it was characteristic of +this man, as it is of all men similarly marked, that whatever he did, +he overdid, though it were sometimes by only a hairsbreadth), and +approached to take his leave of Mrs Clennam. + +'With what will appear to you the egotism of a sick old woman, sir,' she +then said, 'though really through your accidental allusion, I have +been led away into the subject of myself and my infirmities. Being so +considerate as to visit me, I hope you will be likewise so considerate +as to overlook that. Don't compliment me, if you please.' For he was +evidently going to do it. 'Mr Flintwinch will be happy to render you any +service, and I hope your stay in this city may prove agreeable.' + +Mr Blandois thanked her, and kissed his hand several times. 'This is an +old room,' he remarked, with a sudden sprightliness of manner, looking +round when he got near the door, 'I have been so interested that I have +not observed it. But it's a genuine old room.' + +'It is a genuine old house,' said Mrs Clennam, with her frozen smile. 'A +place of no pretensions, but a piece of antiquity.' + +'Faith!' cried the visitor. 'If Mr Flintwinch would do me the favour to +take me through the rooms on my way out, he could hardly oblige me more. +An old house is a weakness with me. I have many weaknesses, but none +greater. I love and study the picturesque in all its varieties. I have +been called picturesque myself. It is no merit to be picturesque--I +have greater merits, perhaps--but I may be, by an accident. Sympathy, +sympathy!' + +'I tell you beforehand, Mr Blandois, that you'll find it very dingy and +very bare,' said Jeremiah, taking up the candle. 'It's not worth your +looking at.'But Mr Blandois, smiting him in a friendly manner on the +back, only laughed; so the said Blandois kissed his hand again to Mrs +Clennam, and they went out of the room together. + +'You don't care to go up-stairs?' said Jeremiah, on the landing. + +'On the contrary, Mr Flintwinch; if not tiresome to you, I shall be +ravished!' + +Mr Flintwinch, therefore, wormed himself up the staircase, and Mr +Blandois followed close. They ascended to the great garret bed-room +which Arthur had occupied on the night of his return. 'There, Mr +Blandois!' said Jeremiah, showing it, 'I hope you may think that worth +coming so high to see. I confess I don't.' + +Mr Blandois being enraptured, they walked through other garrets and +passages, and came down the staircase again. By this time Mr Flintwinch +had remarked that he never found the visitor looking at any room, after +throwing one quick glance around, but always found the visitor looking +at him, Mr Flintwinch. With this discovery in his thoughts, he turned +about on the staircase for another experiment. He met his eyes directly; +and on the instant of their fixing one another, the visitor, with +that ugly play of nose and moustache, laughed (as he had done at every +similar moment since they left Mrs Clennam's chamber) a diabolically +silent laugh. + +As a much shorter man than the visitor, Mr Flintwinch was at the +physical disadvantage of being thus disagreeably leered at from a +height; and as he went first down the staircase, and was usually a +step or two lower than the other, this disadvantage was at the time +increased. He postponed looking at Mr Blandois again until this +accidental inequality was removed by their having entered the late Mr +Clennam's room. But, then twisting himself suddenly round upon him, he +found his look unchanged. + +'A most admirable old house,' smiled Mr Blandois. 'So mysterious. Do you +never hear any haunted noises here?' + +'Noises,' returned Mr Flintwinch. 'No.' + +'Nor see any devils?' + +'Not,' said Mr Flintwinch, grimly screwing himself at his questioner, +'not any that introduce themselves under that name and in that +capacity.' + +'Haha! A portrait here, I see.' + +(Still looking at Mr Flintwinch, as if he were the portrait.) + +'It's a portrait, sir, as you observe.' + +'May I ask the subject, Mr Flintwinch?' + +'Mr Clennam, deceased. Her husband.' + +'Former owner of the remarkable watch, perhaps?' said the visitor. + +Mr Flintwinch, who had cast his eyes towards the portrait, twisted +himself about again, and again found himself the subject of the same +look and smile. 'Yes, Mr Blandois,' he replied tartly. 'It was his, and +his uncle's before him, and Lord knows who before him; and that's all I +can tell you of its pedigree.' + +'That's a strongly marked character, Mr Flintwinch, our friend +up-stairs.' + +'Yes, sir,' said Jeremiah, twisting himself at the visitor again, as he +did during the whole of this dialogue, like some screw-machine that +fell short of its grip; for the other never changed, and he always +felt obliged to retreat a little. 'She is a remarkable woman. Great +fortitude--great strength of mind.' + +'They must have been very happy,' said Blandois. + +'Who?' demanded Mr Flintwinch, with another screw at him. + +Mr Blandois shook his right forefinger towards the sick room, and his +left forefinger towards the portrait, and then, putting his arms akimbo +and striding his legs wide apart, stood smiling down at Mr Flintwinch +with the advancing nose and the retreating moustache. + +'As happy as most other married people, I suppose,' returned Mr +Flintwinch. 'I can't say. I don't know. There are secrets in all +families.' + +'Secrets!' cried Mr Blandois, quickly. 'Say it again, my son.' + +'I say,' replied Mr Flintwinch, upon whom he had swelled himself so +suddenly that Mr Flintwinch found his face almost brushed by the dilated +chest. 'I say there are secrets in all families.' + +'So there are,' cried the other, clapping him on both shoulders, and +rolling him backwards and forwards. 'Haha! you are right. So there are! +Secrets! Holy Blue! There are the devil's own secrets in some families, +Mr Flintwinch!' With that, after clapping Mr Flintwinch on both +shoulders several times, as if in a friendly and humorous way he were +rallying him on a joke he had made, he threw up his arms, threw back +his head, hooked his hands together behind it, and burst into a roar of +laughter. It was in vain for Mr Flintwinch to try another screw at him. +He had his laugh out. + +'But, favour me with the candle a moment,' he said, when he had done. +'Let us have a look at the husband of the remarkable lady. Hah!' holding +up the light at arm's length. 'A decided expression of face here too, +though not of the same character. Looks as if he were saying, what is +it--Do Not Forget--does he not, Mr Flintwinch? By Heaven, sir, he does!' + +As he returned the candle, he looked at him once more; and then, +leisurely strolling out with him into the hall, declared it to be a +charming old house indeed, and one which had so greatly pleased him that +he would not have missed inspecting it for a hundred pounds. + +Throughout these singular freedoms on the part of Mr Blandois, which +involved a general alteration in his demeanour, making it much coarser +and rougher, much more violent and audacious than before, Mr Flintwinch, +whose leathern face was not liable to many changes, preserved its +immobility intact. Beyond now appearing perhaps, to have been left +hanging a trifle too long before that friendly operation of cutting +down, he outwardly maintained an equable composure. They had brought +their survey to a close in the little room at the side of the hall, and +he stood there, eyeing Mr Blandois. + +'I am glad you are so well satisfied, sir,' was his calm remark. 'I +didn't expect it. You seem to be quite in good spirits.' + +'In admirable spirits,' returned Blandois. 'Word of honour! never more +refreshed in spirits. Do you ever have presentiments, Mr Flintwinch?' + +'I am not sure that I know what you mean by the term, sir,' replied that +gentleman. + +'Say, in this case, Mr Flintwinch, undefined anticipations of pleasure +to come.' + +'I can't say I'm sensible of such a sensation at present,' returned Mr +Flintwinch with the utmost gravity. 'If I should find it coming on, I'll +mention it.' + +'Now I,' said Blandois, 'I, my son, have a presentiment to-night that we +shall be well acquainted. Do you find it coming on?' + +'N-no,' returned Mr Flintwinch, deliberately inquiring of himself. 'I +can't say I do.' + +'I have a strong presentiment that we shall become intimately +acquainted.--You have no feeling of that sort yet?' + +'Not yet,' said Mr Flintwinch. + +Mr Blandois, taking him by both shoulders again, rolled him about a +little in his former merry way, then drew his arm through his own, and +invited him to come off and drink a bottle of wine like a dear deep old +dog as he was. + +Without a moment's indecision, Mr Flintwinch accepted the invitation, +and they went out to the quarters where the traveller was lodged, +through a heavy rain which had rattled on the windows, roofs, and +pavements, ever since nightfall. The thunder and lightning had long ago +passed over, but the rain was furious. On their arrival at Mr Blandois' +room, a bottle of port wine was ordered by that gallant gentleman; who +(crushing every pretty thing he could collect, in the soft disposition +of his dainty figure) coiled himself upon the window-seat, while Mr +Flintwinch took a chair opposite to him, with the table between them. Mr +Blandois proposed having the largest glasses in the house, to which Mr +Flintwinch assented. The bumpers filled, Mr Blandois, with a roystering +gaiety, clinked the top of his glass against the bottom of Mr +Flintwinch's, and the bottom of his glass against the top of Mr +Flintwinch's, and drank to the intimate acquaintance he foresaw. +Mr Flintwinch gravely pledged him, and drank all the wine he could get, +and said nothing. As often as Mr Blandois clinked glasses (which was +at every replenishment), Mr Flintwinch stolidly did his part of the +clinking, and would have stolidly done his companion's part of the wine +as well as his own: being, except in the article of palate, a mere cask. + +In short, Mr Blandois found that to pour port wine into the reticent +Flintwinch was, not to open him but to shut him up. Moreover, he had +the appearance of a perfect ability to go on all night; or, if occasion +were, all next day and all next night; whereas Mr Blandois soon grew +indistinctly conscious of swaggering too fiercely and boastfully. He +therefore terminated the entertainment at the end of the third bottle. + +'You will draw upon us to-morrow, sir,' said Mr Flintwinch, with a +business-like face at parting. + +'My Cabbage,' returned the other, taking him by the collar with both +hands, 'I'll draw upon you; have no fear. Adieu, my Flintwinch. Receive +at parting;' here he gave him a southern embrace, and kissed him soundly +on both cheeks; 'the word of a gentleman! By a thousand Thunders, you +shall see me again!' + +He did not present himself next day, though the letter of advice came +duly to hand. Inquiring after him at night, Mr Flintwinch found, with +surprise, that he had paid his bill and gone back to the Continent by +way of Calais. Nevertheless, Jeremiah scraped out of his cogitating +face a lively conviction that Mr Blandois would keep his word on this +occasion, and would be seen again. + + + + +CHAPTER 31. Spirit + + +Anybody may pass, any day, in the thronged thoroughfares of the +metropolis, some meagre, wrinkled, yellow old man (who might be supposed +to have dropped from the stars, if there were any star in the Heavens +dull enough to be suspected of casting off so feeble a spark), creeping +along with a scared air, as though bewildered and a little frightened +by the noise and bustle. This old man is always a little old man. If he +were ever a big old man, he has shrunk into a little old man; if he were +always a little old man, he has dwindled into a less old man. His coat +is a colour, and cut, that never was the mode anywhere, at any period. +Clearly, it was not made for him, or for any individual mortal. Some +wholesale contractor measured Fate for five thousand coats of such +quality, and Fate has lent this old coat to this old man, as one of a +long unfinished line of many old men. It has always large dull metal +buttons, similar to no other buttons. This old man wears a hat, a +thumbed and napless and yet an obdurate hat, which has never adapted +itself to the shape of his poor head. His coarse shirt and his coarse +neckcloth have no more individuality than his coat and hat; they have +the same character of not being his--of not being anybody's. Yet this +old man wears these clothes with a certain unaccustomed air of being +dressed and elaborated for the public ways; as though he passed the +greater part of his time in a nightcap and gown. And so, like the +country mouse in the second year of a famine, come to see the town +mouse, and timidly threading his way to the town-mouse's lodging through +a city of cats, this old man passes in the streets. + +Sometimes, on holidays towards evening, he will be seen to walk with a +slightly increased infirmity, and his old eyes will glimmer with a moist +and marshy light. Then the little old man is drunk. A very small +measure will overset him; he may be bowled off his unsteady legs with +a half-pint pot. Some pitying acquaintance--chance acquaintance +very often--has warmed up his weakness with a treat of beer, and the +consequence will be the lapse of a longer time than usual before he +shall pass again. For the little old man is going home to the Workhouse; +and on his good behaviour they do not let him out often (though methinks +they might, considering the few years he has before him to go out in, +under the sun); and on his bad behaviour they shut him up closer than +ever in a grove of two score and nineteen more old men, every one of +whom smells of all the others. + +Mrs Plornish's father,--a poor little reedy piping old gentleman, like +a worn-out bird; who had been in what he called the music-binding +business, and met with great misfortunes, and who had seldom been able +to make his way, or to see it or to pay it, or to do anything at all +with it but find it no thoroughfare,--had retired of his own accord to +the Workhouse which was appointed by law to be the Good Samaritan of his +district (without the twopence, which was bad political economy), on +the settlement of that execution which had carried Mr Plornish to the +Marshalsea College. Previous to his son-in-law's difficulties coming to +that head, Old Nandy (he was always so called in his legal Retreat, but +he was Old Mr Nandy among the Bleeding Hearts) had sat in a corner of +the Plornish fireside, and taken his bite and sup out of the Plornish +cupboard. He still hoped to resume that domestic position when Fortune +should smile upon his son-in-law; in the meantime, while she preserved +an immovable countenance, he was, and resolved to remain, one of these +little old men in a grove of little old men with a community of flavour. + +But no poverty in him, and no coat on him that never was the mode, and +no Old Men's Ward for his dwelling-place, could quench his daughter's +admiration. Mrs Plornish was as proud of her father's talents as she +could possibly have been if they had made him Lord Chancellor. She had +as firm a belief in the sweetness and propriety of his manners as she +could possibly have had if he had been Lord Chamberlain. The poor little +old man knew some pale and vapid little songs, long out of date, about +Chloe, and Phyllis, and Strephon being wounded by the son of Venus; +and for Mrs Plornish there was no such music at the Opera as the small +internal flutterings and chirpings wherein he would discharge himself +of these ditties, like a weak, little, broken barrel-organ, ground by +a baby. On his 'days out,' those flecks of light in his flat vista of +pollard old men,' it was at once Mrs Plornish's delight and sorrow, +when he was strong with meat, and had taken his full halfpenny-worth of +porter, to say, 'Sing us a song, Father.' Then he would give them Chloe, +and if he were in pretty good spirits, Phyllis also--Strephon he had +hardly been up to since he went into retirement--and then would Mrs +Plornish declare she did believe there never was such a singer as +Father, and wipe her eyes. + +If he had come from Court on these occasions, nay, if he had been the +noble Refrigerator come home triumphantly from a foreign court to be +presented and promoted on his last tremendous failure, Mrs Plornish +could not have handed him with greater elevation about Bleeding Heart +Yard. 'Here's Father,' she would say, presenting him to a neighbour. +'Father will soon be home with us for good, now. Ain't Father looking +well? Father's a sweeter singer than ever; you'd never have forgotten +it, if you'd aheard him just now.' As to Mr Plornish, he had married +these articles of belief in marrying Mr Nandy's daughter, and only +wondered how it was that so gifted an old gentleman had not made a +fortune. This he attributed, after much reflection, to his musical +genius not having been scientifically developed in his youth. 'For why,' +argued Mr Plornish, 'why go a-binding music when you've got it in +yourself? That's where it is, I consider.' + +Old Nandy had a patron: one patron. He had a patron who in a certain +sumptuous way--an apologetic way, as if he constantly took an admiring +audience to witness that he really could not help being more free +with this old fellow than they might have expected, on account of his +simplicity and poverty--was mightily good to him. Old Nandy had +been several times to the Marshalsea College, communicating with his +son-in-law during his short durance there; and had happily acquired to +himself, and had by degrees and in course of time much improved, the +patronage of the Father of that national institution. + +Mr Dorrit was in the habit of receiving this old man as if the old man +held of him in vassalage under some feudal tenure. He made little treats +and teas for him, as if he came in with his homage from some outlying +district where the tenantry were in a primitive state. It seemed as if +there were moments when he could by no means have sworn but that the old +man was an ancient retainer of his, who had been meritoriously faithful. +When he mentioned him, he spoke of him casually as his old pensioner. He +had a wonderful satisfaction in seeing him, and in commenting on his +decayed condition after he was gone. It appeared to him amazing that he +could hold up his head at all, poor creature. 'In the Workhouse, sir, +the Union; no privacy, no visitors, no station, no respect, no +speciality. Most deplorable!' + +It was Old Nandy's birthday, and they let him out. He said nothing about +its being his birthday, or they might have kept him in; for such old +men should not be born. He passed along the streets as usual to Bleeding +Heart Yard, and had his dinner with his daughter and son-in-law, and +gave them Phyllis. He had hardly concluded, when Little Dorrit looked in +to see how they all were. + +'Miss Dorrit,' said Mrs Plornish, 'here's Father! Ain't he looking nice? +And such voice he's in!' + +Little Dorrit gave him her hand, and smilingly said she had not seen him +this long time. + +'No, they're rather hard on poor Father,' said Mrs Plornish with a +lengthening face, 'and don't let him have half as much change and fresh +air as would benefit him. But he'll soon be home for good, now. Won't +you, Father?' + +'Yes, my dear, I hope so. In good time, please God.' + +Here Mr Plornish delivered himself of an oration which he invariably +made, word for word the same, on all such opportunities. It was couched +in the following terms: + +'John Edward Nandy. Sir. While there's a ounce of wittles or drink of +any sort in this present roof, you're fully welcome to your share on +it. While there's a handful of fire or a mouthful of bed in this present +roof, you're fully welcome to your share on it. If so be as there should +be nothing in this present roof, you should be as welcome to your share +on it as if it was something, much or little. And this is what I mean +and so I don't deceive you, and consequently which is to stand out is to +entreat of you, and therefore why not do it?' + +To this lucid address, which Mr Plornish always delivered as if he had +composed it (as no doubt he had) with enormous labour, Mrs Plornish's +father pipingly replied: + +'I thank you kindly, Thomas, and I know your intentions well, which is +the same I thank you kindly for. But no, Thomas. Until such times as +it's not to take it out of your children's mouths, which take it is, and +call it by what name you will it do remain and equally deprive, though +may they come, and too soon they can not come, no Thomas, no!' + +Mrs Plornish, who had been turning her face a little away with a corner +of her apron in her hand, brought herself back to the conversation again +by telling Miss Dorrit that Father was going over the water to pay his +respects, unless she knew of any reason why it might not be agreeable. + +Her answer was, 'I am going straight home, and if he will come with me +I shall be so glad to take care of him--so glad,' said Little Dorrit, +always thoughtful of the feelings of the weak, 'of his company.' + +'There, Father!' cried Mrs Plornish. 'Ain't you a gay young man to +be going for a walk along with Miss Dorrit! Let me tie your +neck-handkerchief into a regular good bow, for you're a regular beau +yourself, Father, if ever there was one.' + +With this filial joke his daughter smartened him up, and gave him a +loving hug, and stood at the door with her weak child in her arms, and +her strong child tumbling down the steps, looking after her little old +father as he toddled away with his arm under Little Dorrit's. + +They walked at a slow pace, and Little Dorrit took him by the Iron +Bridge and sat him down there for a rest, and they looked over at the +water and talked about the shipping, and the old man mentioned what he +would do if he had a ship full of gold coming home to him (his plan was +to take a noble lodging for the Plornishes and himself at a Tea Gardens, +and live there all the rest of their lives, attended on by the waiter), +and it was a special birthday of the old man. They were within five +minutes of their destination, when, at the corner of her own street, +they came upon Fanny in her new bonnet bound for the same port. + +'Why, good gracious me, Amy!' cried that young lady starting. 'You never +mean it!' + +'Mean what, Fanny dear?' + +'Well! I could have believed a great deal of you,' returned the young +lady with burning indignation, 'but I don't think even I could have +believed this, of even you!' + +'Fanny!' cried Little Dorrit, wounded and astonished. + +'Oh! Don't Fanny me, you mean little thing, don't! The idea of coming +along the open streets, in the broad light of day, with a Pauper!' +(firing off the last word as if it were a ball from an air-gun). + +'O Fanny!' + +'I tell you not to Fanny me, for I'll not submit to it! I never knew +such a thing. The way in which you are resolved and determined to +disgrace us on all occasions, is really infamous. You bad little thing!' + +'Does it disgrace anybody,' said Little Dorrit, very gently, 'to take +care of this poor old man?' + +'Yes, miss,' returned her sister, 'and you ought to know it does. +And you do know it does, and you do it because you know it does. The +principal pleasure of your life is to remind your family of their +misfortunes. And the next great pleasure of your existence is to keep +low company. But, however, if you have no sense of decency, I +have. You'll please to allow me to go on the other side of the way, +unmolested.' + +With this, she bounced across to the opposite pavement. The old +disgrace, who had been deferentially bowing a pace or two off (for +Little Dorrit had let his arm go in her wonder, when Fanny began), and +who had been hustled and cursed by impatient passengers for stopping the +way, rejoined his companion, rather giddy, and said, 'I hope nothing's +wrong with your honoured father, Miss? I hope there's nothing the matter +in the honoured family?' + +'No, no,' returned Little Dorrit. 'No, thank you. Give me your arm +again, Mr Nandy. We shall soon be there now.' + +So she talked to him as she had talked before, and they came to the +Lodge and found Mr Chivery on the lock, and went in. Now, it happened +that the Father of the Marshalsea was sauntering towards the Lodge at +the moment when they were coming out of it, entering the prison arm in +arm. As the spectacle of their approach met his view, he displayed the +utmost agitation and despondency of mind; and--altogether regardless of +Old Nandy, who, making his reverence, stood with his hat in his hand, as +he always did in that gracious presence--turned about, and hurried in at +his own doorway and up the staircase. + +Leaving the old unfortunate, whom in an evil hour she had taken under +her protection, with a hurried promise to return to him directly, Little +Dorrit hastened after her father, and, on the staircase, found Fanny +following her, and flouncing up with offended dignity. The three came +into the room almost together; and the Father sat down in his chair, +buried his face in his hands, and uttered a groan. + +'Of course,' said Fanny. 'Very proper. Poor, afflicted Pa! Now, I hope +you believe me, Miss?' + +'What is it, father?' cried Little Dorrit, bending over him. 'Have I +made you unhappy, father? Not I, I hope!' + +'You hope, indeed! I dare say! Oh, you'--Fanny paused for a sufficiently +strong expression--'you Common-minded little Amy! You complete +prison-child!' + +He stopped these angry reproaches with a wave of his hand, and sobbed +out, raising his face and shaking his melancholy head at his younger +daughter, 'Amy, I know that you are innocent in intention. But you +have cut me to the soul.' + +'Innocent in intention!' the implacable Fanny struck in. 'Stuff in +intention! Low in intention! Lowering of the family in intention!' + +'Father!' cried Little Dorrit, pale and trembling. 'I am very sorry. +Pray forgive me. Tell me how it is, that I may not do it again!' + +'How it is, you prevaricating little piece of goods!' cried Fanny. 'You +know how it is. I have told you already, so don't fly in the face of +Providence by attempting to deny it!' + +'Hush! Amy,' said the father, passing his pocket-handkerchief several +times across his face, and then grasping it convulsively in the hand +that dropped across his knee, 'I have done what I could to keep you +select here; I have done what I could to retain you a position here. I +may have succeeded; I may not. You may know it; you may not. I give no +opinion. I have endured everything here but humiliation. That I have +happily been spared--until this day.' + +Here his convulsive grasp unclosed itself, and he put his +pocket-handkerchief to his eyes again. Little Dorrit, on the ground +beside him, with her imploring hand upon his arm, watched him +remorsefully. Coming out of his fit of grief, he clenched his +pocket-handkerchief once more. + +'Humiliation I have happily been spared until this day. Through all +my troubles there has been that--Spirit in myself, and that--that +submission to it, if I may use the term, in those about me, which has +spared me--ha--humiliation. But this day, this minute, I have keenly +felt it.' + +'Of course! How could it be otherwise?' exclaimed the irrepressible +Fanny. 'Careering and prancing about with a Pauper!' (air-gun again). + +'But, dear father,' cried Little Dorrit, 'I don't justify myself for +having wounded your dear heart--no! Heaven knows I don't!' She clasped +her hands in quite an agony of distress. 'I do nothing but beg and pray +you to be comforted and overlook it. But if I had not known that you +were kind to the old man yourself, and took much notice of him, and were +always glad to see him, I would not have come here with him, father, I +would not, indeed. What I have been so unhappy as to do, I have done +in mistake. I would not wilfully bring a tear to your eyes, dear love!' +said Little Dorrit, her heart well-nigh broken, 'for anything the world +could give me, or anything it could take away.' + +Fanny, with a partly angry and partly repentant sob, began to cry +herself, and to say--as this young lady always said when she was half in +passion and half out of it, half spiteful with herself and half spiteful +with everybody else--that she wished she were dead. + +The Father of the Marshalsea in the meantime took his younger daughter +to his breast, and patted her head. + +'There, there! Say no more, Amy, say no more, my child. I will forget it +as soon as I can. I,' with hysterical cheerfulness, 'I--shall soon be +able to dismiss it. It is perfectly true, my dear, that I am always glad +to see my old pensioner--as such, as such--and that I do--ha--extend as +much protection and kindness to the--hum--the bruised reed--I trust I +may so call him without impropriety--as in my circumstances, I can. It +is quite true that this is the case, my dear child. At the same +time, I preserve in doing this, if I may--ha--if I may use the +expression--Spirit. Becoming Spirit. And there are some things which +are,' he stopped to sob, 'irreconcilable with that, and wound +that--wound it deeply. It is not that I have seen my good Amy +attentive, and--ha--condescending to my old pensioner--it is not _that_ +that hurts me. It is, if I am to close the painful subject by being +explicit, that I have seen my child, my own child, my own daughter, +coming into this College out of the public streets--smiling! +smiling!--arm in arm with--O my God, a livery!' + +This reference to the coat of no cut and no time, the unfortunate +gentleman gasped forth, in a scarcely audible voice, and with his +clenched pocket-handkerchief raised in the air. His excited feelings +might have found some further painful utterance, but for a knock at the +door, which had been already twice repeated, and to which Fanny (still +wishing herself dead, and indeed now going so far as to add, buried) +cried 'Come in!' + +'Ah, Young John!' said the Father, in an altered and calmed voice. 'What +is it, Young John?' + +'A letter for you, sir, being left in the Lodge just this minute, and a +message with it, I thought, happening to be there myself, sir, I would +bring it to your room.' The speaker's attention was much distracted by +the piteous spectacle of Little Dorrit at her father's feet, with her +head turned away. + +'Indeed, John? Thank you.' + +'The letter is from Mr Clennam, sir--it's the answer--and the message +was, sir, that Mr Clennam also sent his compliments, and word that he +would do himself the pleasure of calling this afternoon, hoping to see +you, and likewise,' attention more distracted than before, 'Miss Amy.' + +'Oh!' As the Father glanced into the letter (there was a bank-note in +it), he reddened a little, and patted Amy on the head afresh. 'Thank +you, Young John. Quite right. Much obliged to you for your attention. No +one waiting?' + +'No, sir, no one waiting.' + +'Thank you, John. How is your mother, Young John?' + +'Thank you, sir, she's not quite as well as we could wish--in fact, we +none of us are, except father--but she's pretty well, sir.' + +'Say we sent our remembrances, will you? Say kind remembrances, if you +please, Young John.' + +'Thank you, sir, I will.' And Mr Chivery junior went his way, having +spontaneously composed on the spot an entirely new epitaph for himself, +to the effect that Here lay the body of John Chivery, Who, Having +at such a date, Beheld the idol of his life, In grief and tears, And +feeling unable to bear the harrowing spectacle, Immediately repaired to +the abode of his inconsolable parents, And terminated his existence by +his own rash act. + +'There, there, Amy!' said the Father, when Young John had closed the +door, 'let us say no more about it.' The last few minutes had improved +his spirits remarkably, and he was quite lightsome. 'Where is my old +pensioner all this while? We must not leave him by himself any longer, +or he will begin to suppose he is not welcome, and that would pain me. +Will you fetch him, my child, or shall I?' + +'If you wouldn't mind, father,' said Little Dorrit, trying to bring her +sobbing to a close. + +'Certainly I will go, my dear. I forgot; your eyes are rather red. +There! Cheer up, Amy. Don't be uneasy about me. I am quite myself again, +my love, quite myself. Go to your room, Amy, and make yourself look +comfortable and pleasant to receive Mr Clennam.' + +'I would rather stay in my own room, Father,' returned Little Dorrit, +finding it more difficult than before to regain her composure. 'I would +far rather not see Mr Clennam.' + +'Oh, fie, fie, my dear, that's folly. Mr Clennam is a very gentlemanly +man--very gentlemanly. A little reserved at times; but I will say +extremely gentlemanly. I couldn't think of your not being here to +receive Mr Clennam, my dear, especially this afternoon. So go and +freshen yourself up, Amy; go and freshen yourself up, like a good girl.' + +Thus directed, Little Dorrit dutifully rose and obeyed: only pausing +for a moment as she went out of the room, to give her sister a kiss of +reconciliation. Upon which, that young lady, feeling much harassed +in her mind, and having for the time worn out the wish with which she +generally relieved it, conceived and executed the brilliant idea of +wishing Old Nandy dead, rather than that he should come bothering there +like a disgusting, tiresome, wicked wretch, and making mischief between +two sisters. + +The Father of the Marshalsea, even humming a tune, and wearing his black +velvet cap a little on one side, so much improved were his spirits, went +down into the yard, and found his old pensioner standing there hat in +hand just within the gate, as he had stood all this time. 'Come, Nandy!' +said he, with great suavity. 'Come up-stairs, Nandy; you know the way; +why don't you come up-stairs?' He went the length, on this occasion, +of giving him his hand and saying, 'How are you, Nandy? Are you pretty +well?' To which that vocalist returned, 'I thank you, honoured sir, I am +all the better for seeing your honour.' As they went along the yard, the +Father of the Marshalsea presented him to a Collegian of recent date. +'An old acquaintance of mine, sir, an old pensioner.' And then said, 'Be +covered, my good Nandy; put your hat on,' with great consideration. + +His patronage did not stop here; for he charged Maggy to get the tea +ready, and instructed her to buy certain tea-cakes, fresh butter, +eggs, cold ham, and shrimps: to purchase which collation he gave her a +bank-note for ten pounds, laying strict injunctions on her to be careful +of the change. These preparations were in an advanced stage of progress, +and his daughter Amy had come back with her work, when Clennam presented +himself; whom he most graciously received, and besought to join their +meal. + +'Amy, my love, you know Mr Clennam even better than I have the happiness +of doing. Fanny, my dear, you are acquainted with Mr Clennam.' Fanny +acknowledged him haughtily; the position she tacitly took up in all such +cases being that there was a vast conspiracy to insult the family by not +understanding it, or sufficiently deferring to it, and here was one of +the conspirators. 'This, Mr Clennam, you must know, is an old pensioner +of mine, Old Nandy, a very faithful old man.' (He always spoke of him as +an object of great antiquity, but he was two or three years younger than +himself.) 'Let me see. You know Plornish, I think? I think my daughter +Amy has mentioned to me that you know poor Plornish?' + +'O yes!' said Arthur Clennam. + +'Well, sir, this is Mrs Plornish's father.' + +'Indeed? I am glad to see him.' + +'You would be more glad if you knew his many good qualities, Mr +Clennam.' + +'I hope I shall come to know them through knowing him,' said Arthur, +secretly pitying the bowed and submissive figure. + +'It is a holiday with him, and he comes to see his old friends, who are +always glad to see him,' observed the Father of the Marshalsea. Then he +added behind his hand, ('Union, poor old fellow. Out for the day.') + +By this time Maggy, quietly assisted by her Little Mother, had spread +the board, and the repast was ready. It being hot weather and the prison +very close, the window was as wide open as it could be pushed. 'If Maggy +will spread that newspaper on the window-sill, my dear,' remarked the +Father complacently and in a half whisper to Little Dorrit, 'my old +pensioner can have his tea there, while we are having ours.' + +So, with a gulf between him and the good company of about a foot in +width, standard measure, Mrs Plornish's father was handsomely regaled. +Clennam had never seen anything like his magnanimous protection by that +other Father, he of the Marshalsea; and was lost in the contemplation of +its many wonders. + +The most striking of these was perhaps the relishing manner in which he +remarked on the pensioner's infirmities and failings, as if he were +a gracious Keeper making a running commentary on the decline of the +harmless animal he exhibited. + +'Not ready for more ham yet, Nandy? Why, how slow you are! (His last +teeth,' he explained to the company, 'are going, poor old boy.') + +At another time, he said, 'No shrimps, Nandy?' and on his not instantly +replying, observed, ('His hearing is becoming very defective. He'll be +deaf directly.') + +At another time he asked him, 'Do you walk much, Nandy, about the yard +within the walls of that place of yours?' + +'No, sir; no. I haven't any great liking for that.' + +'No, to be sure,' he assented. 'Very natural.' Then he privately +informed the circle ('Legs going.') + +Once he asked the pensioner, in that general clemency which asked him +anything to keep him afloat, how old his younger grandchild was? + +'John Edward,' said the pensioner, slowly laying down his knife and fork +to consider. 'How old, sir? Let me think now.' + +The Father of the Marshalsea tapped his forehead ('Memory weak.') + +'John Edward, sir? Well, I really forget. I couldn't say at this minute, +sir, whether it's two and two months, or whether it's two and five +months. It's one or the other.' + +'Don't distress yourself by worrying your mind about it,' he returned, +with infinite forbearance. ('Faculties evidently decaying--old man rusts +in the life he leads!') + +The more of these discoveries that he persuaded himself he made in the +pensioner, the better he appeared to like him; and when he got out of +his chair after tea to bid the pensioner good-bye, on his intimating +that he feared, honoured sir, his time was running out, he made himself +look as erect and strong as possible. + +'We don't call this a shilling, Nandy, you know,' he said, putting one +in his hand. 'We call it tobacco.' + +'Honoured sir, I thank you. It shall buy tobacco. My thanks and duty to +Miss Amy and Miss Fanny. I wish you good night, Mr Clennam.' + +'And mind you don't forget us, you know, Nandy,' said the Father. 'You +must come again, mind, whenever you have an afternoon. You must not come +out without seeing us, or we shall be jealous. Good night, Nandy. Be +very careful how you descend the stairs, Nandy; they are rather uneven +and worn.' With that he stood on the landing, watching the old man down: +and when he came into the room again, said, with a solemn satisfaction +on him, 'A melancholy sight that, Mr Clennam, though one has the +consolation of knowing that he doesn't feel it himself. The poor old +fellow is a dismal wreck. Spirit broken and gone--pulverised--crushed +out of him, sir, completely!' + +As Clennam had a purpose in remaining, he said what he could responsive +to these sentiments, and stood at the window with their enunciator, +while Maggy and her Little Mother washed the tea-service and cleared it +away. He noticed that his companion stood at the window with the air of +an affable and accessible Sovereign, and that, when any of his people in +the yard below looked up, his recognition of their salutes just stopped +short of a blessing. + +When Little Dorrit had her work on the table, and Maggy hers on the +bedstead, Fanny fell to tying her bonnet as a preliminary to her +departure. Arthur, still having his purpose, still remained. At this +time the door opened, without any notice, and Mr Tip came in. He kissed +Amy as she started up to meet him, nodded to Fanny, nodded to his +father, gloomed on the visitor without further recognition, and sat +down. + +'Tip, dear,' said Little Dorrit, mildly, shocked by this, 'don't you +see--' + +'Yes, I see, Amy. If you refer to the presence of any visitor you have +here--I say, if you refer to that,' answered Tip, jerking his head with +emphasis towards his shoulder nearest Clennam, 'I see!' + +'Is that all you say?' + +'That's all I say. And I suppose,' added the lofty young man, after a +moment's pause, 'that visitor will understand me, when I say that's all +I say. In short, I suppose the visitor will understand that he hasn't +used me like a gentleman.' + +'I do not understand that,' observed the obnoxious personage referred to +with tranquillity. + +'No? Why, then, to make it clearer to you, sir, I beg to let you know +that when I address what I call a properly-worded appeal, and an urgent +appeal, and a delicate appeal, to an individual, for a small temporary +accommodation, easily within his power--easily within his power, +mind!--and when that individual writes back word to me that he begs to +be excused, I consider that he doesn't treat me like a gentleman.' + +The Father of the Marshalsea, who had surveyed his son in silence, no +sooner heard this sentiment, than he began in angry voice:-- + +'How dare you--' But his son stopped him. + +'Now, don't ask me how I dare, father, because that's bosh. As to the +fact of the line of conduct I choose to adopt towards the individual +present, you ought to be proud of my showing a proper spirit.' + +'I should think so!' cried Fanny. + +'A proper spirit?' said the Father. 'Yes, a proper spirit; a becoming +spirit. Is it come to this that my son teaches me--_me_--spirit!' + +'Now, don't let us bother about it, father, or have any row on the +subject. I have fully made up my mind that the individual present has +not treated me like a gentleman. And there's an end of it.' + +'But there is not an end of it, sir,' returned the Father. 'But there +shall not be an end of it. You have made up your mind? You have made up +your mind?' + +'Yes, _I_ have. What's the good of keeping on like that?' + +'Because,' returned the Father, in a great heat, 'you had no right to +make up your mind to what is monstrous, to what is--ha--immoral, to what +is--hum--parricidal. No, Mr Clennam, I beg, sir. Don't ask me to desist; +there is a--hum--a general principle involved here, which rises even +above considerations of--ha--hospitality. I object to the assertion made +by my son. I--ha--I personally repel it.' + +'Why, what is it to you, father?' returned the son, over his shoulder. + +'What is it to me, sir? I have a--hum--a spirit, sir, that will not +endure it. I,' he took out his pocket-handkerchief again and dabbed his +face. 'I am outraged and insulted by it. Let me suppose the case that I +myself may at a certain time--ha--or times, have made a--hum--an appeal, +and a properly-worded appeal, and a delicate appeal, and an urgent +appeal to some individual for a small temporary accommodation. Let me +suppose that that accommodation could have been easily extended, and was +not extended, and that that individual informed me that he begged to +be excused. Am I to be told by my own son, that I therefore received +treatment not due to a gentleman, and that I--ha--I submitted to it?' + +His daughter Amy gently tried to calm him, but he would not on any +account be calmed. He said his spirit was up, and wouldn't endure this. + +Was he to be told that, he wished to know again, by his own son on his +own hearth, to his own face? Was that humiliation to be put upon him by +his own blood? + +'You are putting it on yourself, father, and getting into all this +injury of your own accord!' said the young gentleman morosely. 'What I +have made up my mind about has nothing to do with you. What I said had +nothing to do with you. Why need you go trying on other people's hats?' + +'I reply it has everything to do with me,' returned the Father. 'I point +out to you, sir, with indignation, that--hum--the--ha--delicacy and +peculiarity of your father's position should strike you dumb, sir, if +nothing else should, in laying down such--ha--such unnatural principles. +Besides; if you are not filial, sir, if you discard that duty, you +are at least--hum--not a Christian? Are you--ha--an Atheist? And is it +Christian, let me ask you, to stigmatise and denounce an individual +for begging to be excused this time, when the same individual +may--ha--respond with the required accommodation next time? Is it the +part of a Christian not to--hum--not to try him again?' He had worked +himself into quite a religious glow and fervour. + +'I see precious well,' said Mr Tip, rising, 'that I shall get no +sensible or fair argument here to-night, and so the best thing I can do +is to cut. Good night, Amy. Don't be vexed. I am very sorry it happens +here, and you here, upon my soul I am; but I can't altogether part with +my spirit, even for your sake, old girl.' + +With those words he put on his hat and went out, accompanied by Miss +Fanny; who did not consider it spirited on her part to take leave of +Clennam with any less opposing demonstration than a stare, importing +that she had always known him for one of the large body of conspirators. + +When they were gone, the Father of the Marshalsea was at first inclined +to sink into despondency again, and would have done so, but that a +gentleman opportunely came up within a minute or two to attend him to +the Snuggery. It was the gentleman Clennam had seen on the night of his +own accidental detention there, who had that impalpable grievance about +the misappropriated Fund on which the Marshal was supposed to batten. +He presented himself as deputation to escort the Father to the Chair, it +being an occasion on which he had promised to preside over the assembled +Collegians in the enjoyment of a little Harmony. + +'Such, you see, Mr Clennam,' said the Father, 'are the incongruities +of my position here. But a public duty! No man, I am sure, would more +readily recognise a public duty than yourself.' + +Clennam besought him not to delay a moment. + +'Amy, my dear, if you can persuade Mr Clennam to stay longer, I can +leave the honours of our poor apology for an establishment with +confidence in your hands, and perhaps you may do something towards +erasing from Mr Clennam's mind the--ha--untoward and unpleasant +circumstance which has occurred since tea-time.' + +Clennam assured him that it had made no impression on his mind, and +therefore required no erasure. + +'My dear sir,' said the Father, with a removal of his black cap and a +grasp of Clennam's hand, combining to express the safe receipt of his +note and enclosure that afternoon, 'Heaven ever bless you!' + +So, at last, Clennam's purpose in remaining was attained, and he could +speak to Little Dorrit with nobody by. Maggy counted as nobody, and she +was by. + + + + +CHAPTER 32. More Fortune-Telling + + +Maggy sat at her work in her great white cap with its quantity of opaque +frilling hiding what profile she had (she had none to spare), and her +serviceable eye brought to bear upon her occupation, on the window side +of the room. What with her flapping cap, and what with her unserviceable +eye, she was quite partitioned off from her Little Mother, whose seat +was opposite the window. The tread and shuffle of feet on the pavement +of the yard had much diminished since the taking of the Chair, the tide +of Collegians having set strongly in the direction of Harmony. Some few +who had no music in their souls, or no money in their pockets, dawdled +about; and the old spectacle of the visitor-wife and the depressed +unseasoned prisoner still lingered in corners, as broken cobwebs and +such unsightly discomforts draggle in corners of other places. It was +the quietest time the College knew, saving the night hours when the +Collegians took the benefit of the act of sleep. The occasional rattle +of applause upon the tables of the Snuggery, denoted the successful +termination of a morsel of Harmony; or the responsive acceptance, by +the united children, of some toast or sentiment offered to them by their +Father. Occasionally, a vocal strain more sonorous than the generality +informed the listener that some boastful bass was in blue water, or in +the hunting field, or with the reindeer, or on the mountain, or among +the heather; but the Marshal of the Marshalsea knew better, and had got +him hard and fast. + +As Arthur Clennam moved to sit down by the side of Little Dorrit, she +trembled so that she had much ado to hold her needle. Clennam gently +put his hand upon her work, and said, 'Dear Little Dorrit, let me lay it +down.' + +She yielded it to him, and he put it aside. Her hands were then +nervously clasping together, but he took one of them. + +'How seldom I have seen you lately, Little Dorrit!' + +'I have been busy, sir.' + +'But I heard only to-day,' said Clennam, 'by mere accident, of your +having been with those good people close by me. Why not come to me, +then?' + +'I--I don't know. Or rather, I thought you might be busy too. You +generally are now, are you not?' + +He saw her trembling little form and her downcast face, and the eyes +that drooped the moment they were raised to his--he saw them almost with +as much concern as tenderness. + +'My child, your manner is so changed!' + +The trembling was now quite beyond her control. Softly withdrawing her +hand, and laying it in her other hand, she sat before him with her head +bent and her whole form trembling. + +'My own Little Dorrit,' said Clennam, compassionately. + +She burst into tears. Maggy looked round of a sudden, and stared for at +least a minute; but did not interpose. Clennam waited some little while +before he spoke again. + +'I cannot bear,' he said then, 'to see you weep; but I hope this is a +relief to an overcharged heart.' + +'Yes it is, sir. Nothing but that.' + +'Well, well! I feared you would think too much of what passed here just +now. It is of no moment; not the least. I am only unfortunate to have +come in the way. Let it go by with these tears. It is not worth one of +them. One of them? Such an idle thing should be repeated, with my glad +consent, fifty times a day, to save you a moment's heart-ache, Little +Dorrit.' + +She had taken courage now, and answered, far more in her usual manner, +'You are so good! But even if there was nothing else in it to be sorry +for and ashamed of, it is such a bad return to you--' + +'Hush!' said Clennam, smiling and touching her lips with his hand. +'Forgetfulness in you who remember so many and so much, would be new +indeed. Shall I remind you that I am not, and that I never was, anything +but the friend whom you agreed to trust? No. You remember it, don't +you?' + +'I try to do so, or I should have broken the promise just now, when my +mistaken brother was here. You will consider his bringing-up in this +place, and will not judge him hardly, poor fellow, I know!' In raising +her eyes with these words, she observed his face more nearly than she +had done yet, and said, with a quick change of tone, 'You have not been +ill, Mr Clennam?' + +'No.' + +'Nor tried? Nor hurt?' she asked him, anxiously. + +It fell to Clennam now, to be not quite certain how to answer. He said +in reply: + +'To speak the truth, I have been a little troubled, but it is over. +Do I show it so plainly? I ought to have more fortitude and self-command +than that. I thought I had. I must learn them of you. Who could teach me +better!' + +He never thought that she saw in him what no one else could see. He +never thought that in the whole world there were no other eyes that +looked upon him with the same light and strength as hers. + +'But it brings me to something that I wish to say,' he continued, 'and +therefore I will not quarrel even with my own face for telling tales +and being unfaithful to me. Besides, it is a privilege and pleasure to +confide in my Little Dorrit. Let me confess then, that, forgetting how +grave I was, and how old I was, and how the time for such things had +gone by me with the many years of sameness and little happiness that +made up my long life far away, without marking it--that, forgetting all +this, I fancied I loved some one.' + +'Do I know her, sir?' asked Little Dorrit. + +'No, my child.' + +'Not the lady who has been kind to me for your sake?' + +'Flora. No, no. Do you think--' + +'I never quite thought so,' said Little Dorrit, more to herself than +him. 'I did wonder at it a little.' + +'Well!' said Clennam, abiding by the feeling that had fallen on him in +the avenue on the night of the roses, the feeling that he was an +older man, who had done with that tender part of life, 'I found out my +mistake, and I thought about it a little--in short, a good deal--and got +wiser. Being wiser, I counted up my years and considered what I am, and +looked back, and looked forward, and found that I should soon be grey. I +found that I had climbed the hill, and passed the level ground upon the +top, and was descending quickly.' + +If he had known the sharpness of the pain he caused the patient heart, +in speaking thus! While doing it, too, with the purpose of easing and +serving her. + +'I found that the day when any such thing would have been graceful in +me, or good in me, or hopeful or happy for me or any one in connection +with me, was gone, and would never shine again.' + +O! If he had known, if he had known! If he could have seen the dagger in +his hand, and the cruel wounds it struck in the faithful bleeding breast +of his Little Dorrit! + +'All that is over, and I have turned my face from it. Why do I speak of +this to Little Dorrit? Why do I show you, my child, the space of years +that there is between us, and recall to you that I have passed, by the +amount of your whole life, the time that is present to you?' + +'Because you trust me, I hope. Because you know that nothing can touch +you without touching me; that nothing can make you happy or unhappy, but +it must make me, who am so grateful to you, the same.' + +He heard the thrill in her voice, he saw her earnest face, he saw her +clear true eyes, he saw the quickened bosom that would have joyfully +thrown itself before him to receive a mortal wound directed at his +breast, with the dying cry, 'I love him!' and the remotest suspicion +of the truth never dawned upon his mind. No. He saw the devoted little +creature with her worn shoes, in her common dress, in her jail-home; a +slender child in body, a strong heroine in soul; and the light of her +domestic story made all else dark to him. + +'For those reasons assuredly, Little Dorrit, but for another too. So +far removed, so different, and so much older, I am the better fitted for +your friend and adviser. I mean, I am the more easily to be trusted; +and any little constraint that you might feel with another, may vanish +before me. Why have you kept so retired from me? Tell me.' + +'I am better here. My place and use are here. I am much better here,' +said Little Dorrit, faintly. + +'So you said that day upon the bridge. I thought of it much afterwards. +Have you no secret you could entrust to me, with hope and comfort, if +you would!' + +'Secret? No, I have no secret,' said Little Dorrit in some trouble. + +They had been speaking in low voices; more because it was natural to +what they said to adopt that tone, than with any care to reserve it from +Maggy at her work. All of a sudden Maggy stared again, and this time +spoke: + +'I say! Little Mother!' + +'Yes, Maggy.' + +'If you an't got no secret of your own to tell him, tell him that about +the Princess. _She_ had a secret, you know.' + +'The Princess had a secret?' said Clennam, in some surprise. 'What +Princess was that, Maggy?' + +'Lor! How you do go and bother a gal of ten,' said Maggy, 'catching the +poor thing up in that way. Whoever said the Princess had a secret? _I_ +never said so.' + +'I beg your pardon. I thought you did.' + +'No, I didn't. How could I, when it was her as wanted to find it out? It +was the little woman as had the secret, and she was always a spinning at +her wheel. And so she says to her, why do you keep it there? And so the +t'other one says to her, no I don't; and so the t'other one says to her, +yes you do; and then they both goes to the cupboard, and there it is. +And she wouldn't go into the Hospital, and so she died. _You_ know, Little +Mother; tell him that. For it was a reg'lar good secret, that was!' cried +Maggy, hugging herself. + +Arthur looked at Little Dorrit for help to comprehend this, and was +struck by seeing her so timid and red. But, when she told him that it +was only a Fairy Tale she had one day made up for Maggy, and that there +was nothing in it which she wouldn't be ashamed to tell again to anybody +else, even if she could remember it, he left the subject where it was. + +However, he returned to his own subject by first entreating her to see +him oftener, and to remember that it was impossible to have a stronger +interest in her welfare than he had, or to be more set upon promoting it +than he was. When she answered fervently, she well knew that, she never +forgot it, he touched upon his second and more delicate point--the +suspicion he had formed. + +'Little Dorrit,' he said, taking her hand again, and speaking lower than +he had spoken yet, so that even Maggy in the small room could not hear +him, 'another word. I have wanted very much to say this to you; I have +tried for opportunities. Don't mind me, who, for the matter of years, +might be your father or your uncle. Always think of me as quite an +old man. I know that all your devotion centres in this room, and +that nothing to the last will ever tempt you away from the duties you +discharge here. If I were not sure of it, I should, before now, have +implored you, and implored your father, to let me make some provision +for you in a more suitable place. But you may have an interest--I will +not say, now, though even that might be--may have, at another time, +an interest in some one else; an interest not incompatible with your +affection here.' + +She was very, very pale, and silently shook her head. + +'It may be, dear Little Dorrit.' + +'No. No. No.' She shook her head, after each slow repetition of +the word, with an air of quiet desolation that he remembered long +afterwards. The time came when he remembered it well, long afterwards, +within those prison walls; within that very room. + +'But, if it ever should be, tell me so, my dear child. Entrust the truth +to me, point out the object of such an interest to me, and I will try +with all the zeal, and honour, and friendship and respect that I feel +for you, good Little Dorrit of my heart, to do you a lasting service.' + +'O thank you, thank you! But, O no, O no, O no!' She said this, looking +at him with her work-worn hands folded together, and in the same +resigned accents as before. + +'I press for no confidence now. I only ask you to repose unhesitating +trust in me.' + +'Can I do less than that, when you are so good!' + +'Then you will trust me fully? Will have no secret unhappiness, or +anxiety, concealed from me?' + +'Almost none.' + +'And you have none now?' + +She shook her head. But she was very pale. + +'When I lie down to-night, and my thoughts come back--as they will, for +they do every night, even when I have not seen you--to this sad place, I +may believe that there is no grief beyond this room, now, and its usual +occupants, which preys on Little Dorrit's mind?' + +She seemed to catch at these words--that he remembered, too, long +afterwards--and said, more brightly, 'Yes, Mr Clennam; yes, you may!' + +The crazy staircase, usually not slow to give notice when any one was +coming up or down, here creaked under a quick tread, and a further sound +was heard upon it, as if a little steam-engine with more steam than it +knew what to do with, were working towards the room. As it approached, +which it did very rapidly, it laboured with increased energy; and, +after knocking at the door, it sounded as if it were stooping down and +snorting in at the keyhole. + +Before Maggy could open the door, Mr Pancks, opening it from without, +stood without a hat and with his bare head in the wildest condition, +looking at Clennam and Little Dorrit, over her shoulder. He had a +lighted cigar in his hand, and brought with him airs of ale and tobacco +smoke. + +'Pancks the gipsy,' he observed out of breath, 'fortune-telling.' + +He stood dingily smiling, and breathing hard at them, with a most +curious air; as if, instead of being his proprietor's grubber, he were +the triumphant proprietor of the Marshalsea, the Marshal, all the +turnkeys, and all the Collegians. In his great self-satisfaction he put +his cigar to his lips (being evidently no smoker), and took such a pull +at it, with his right eye shut up tight for the purpose, that he +underwent a convulsion of shuddering and choking. But even in the midst +of that paroxysm, he still essayed to repeat his favourite introduction +of himself, 'Pa-ancks the gi-ipsy, fortune-telling.' + +'I am spending the evening with the rest of 'em,' said Pancks. 'I've +been singing. I've been taking a part in White sand and grey sand. +_I_ don't know anything about it. Never mind. I'll take any part in +anything. It's all the same, if you're loud enough.' + +At first Clennam supposed him to be intoxicated. But he soon perceived +that though he might be a little the worse (or better) for ale, the +staple of his excitement was not brewed from malt, or distilled from any +grain or berry. + +'How d'ye do, Miss Dorrit?' said Pancks. 'I thought you wouldn't mind my +running round, and looking in for a moment. Mr Clennam I heard was here, +from Mr Dorrit. How are you, Sir?' + +Clennam thanked him, and said he was glad to see him so gay. + +'Gay!' said Pancks. 'I'm in wonderful feather, sir. I can't stop a +minute, or I shall be missed, and I don't want 'em to miss me.--Eh, Miss +Dorrit?' + +He seemed to have an insatiate delight in appealing to her and looking +at her; excitedly sticking his hair up at the same moment, like a dark +species of cockatoo. + +'I haven't been here half an hour. I knew Mr Dorrit was in the chair, +and I said, "I'll go and support him!" I ought to be down in Bleeding +Heart Yard by rights; but I can worry them to-morrow.--Eh, Miss Dorrit?' + +His little black eyes sparkled electrically. His very hair seemed to +sparkle as he roughened it. He was in that highly-charged state that one +might have expected to draw sparks and snaps from him by presenting a +knuckle to any part of his figure. + +'Capital company here,' said Pancks.--'Eh, Miss Dorrit?' + +She was half afraid of him, and irresolute what to say. He laughed, with +a nod towards Clennam. + +'Don't mind him, Miss Dorrit. He's one of us. We agreed that you +shouldn't take on to mind me before people, but we didn't mean Mr +Clennam. He's one of us. He's in it. An't you, Mr Clennam?--Eh, Miss +Dorrit?' + +The excitement of this strange creature was fast communicating itself to +Clennam. Little Dorrit with amazement, saw this, and observed that they +exchanged quick looks. + +'I was making a remark,' said Pancks, 'but I declare I forget what +it was. Oh, I know! Capital company here. I've been treating 'em all +round.--Eh, Miss Dorrit?' + +'Very generous of you,' she returned, noticing another of the quick +looks between the two. + +'Not at all,' said Pancks. 'Don't mention it. I'm coming into my +property, that's the fact. I can afford to be liberal. I think I'll give +'em a treat here. Tables laid in the yard. Bread in stacks. Pipes in +faggots. Tobacco in hayloads. Roast beef and plum-pudding for every one. +Quart of double stout a head. Pint of wine too, if they like it, and the +authorities give permission.--Eh, Miss Dorrit?' + +She was thrown into such a confusion by his manner, or rather by +Clennam's growing understanding of his manner (for she looked to him +after every fresh appeal and cockatoo demonstration on the part of Mr +Pancks), that she only moved her lips in answer, without forming any +word. + +'And oh, by-the-bye!' said Pancks, 'you were to live to know what was +behind us on that little hand of yours. And so you shall, you shall, my +darling.--Eh, Miss Dorrit?' + +He had suddenly checked himself. Where he got all the additional black +prongs from, that now flew up all over his head like the myriads of +points that break out in the large change of a great firework, was a +wonderful mystery. + +'But I shall be missed;' he came back to that; 'and I don't want 'em to +miss me. Mr Clennam, you and I made a bargain. I said you should find me +stick to it. You shall find me stick to it now, sir, if you'll step out +of the room a moment. Miss Dorrit, I wish you good night. Miss Dorrit, I +wish you good fortune.' + +He rapidly shook her by both hands, and puffed down stairs. Arthur +followed him with such a hurried step, that he had very nearly tumbled +over him on the last landing, and rolled him down into the yard. + +'What is it, for Heaven's sake!' Arthur demanded, when they burst out +there both together. + +'Stop a moment, sir. Mr Rugg. Let me introduce him.' + +With those words he presented another man without a hat, and also with a +cigar, and also surrounded with a halo of ale and tobacco smoke, which +man, though not so excited as himself, was in a state which would have +been akin to lunacy but for its fading into sober method when compared +with the rampancy of Mr Pancks. + +'Mr Clennam, Mr Rugg,' said Pancks. 'Stop a moment. Come to the pump.' + +They adjourned to the pump. Mr Pancks, instantly putting his head under +the spout, requested Mr Rugg to take a good strong turn at the handle. +Mr Rugg complying to the letter, Mr Pancks came forth snorting and +blowing to some purpose, and dried himself on his handkerchief. + +'I am the clearer for that,' he gasped to Clennam standing astonished. +'But upon my soul, to hear her father making speeches in that chair, +knowing what we know, and to see her up in that room in that dress, +knowing what we know, is enough to--give me a back, Mr Rugg--a little +higher, sir,--that'll do!' + +Then and there, on that Marshalsea pavement, in the shades of evening, +did Mr Pancks, of all mankind, fly over the head and shoulders of Mr +Rugg of Pentonville, General Agent, Accountant, and Recoverer of Debts. +Alighting on his feet, he took Clennam by the button-hole, led him +behind the pump, and pantingly produced from his pocket a bundle of +papers. + +Mr Rugg, also, pantingly produced from his pocket a bundle of papers. + +'Stay!' said Clennam in a whisper.'You have made a discovery.' + +Mr Pancks answered, with an unction which there is no language to +convey, 'We rather think so.' + +'Does it implicate any one?' + +'How implicate, sir?' + +'In any suppression or wrong dealing of any kind?' + +'Not a bit of it.' + +'Thank God!' said Clennam to himself. 'Now show me.' + +'You are to understand'--snorted Pancks, feverishly unfolding papers, +and speaking in short high-pressure blasts of sentences, 'Where's the +Pedigree? Where's Schedule number four, Mr Rugg? Oh! all right! Here we +are.--You are to understand that we are this very day virtually +complete. We shan't be legally for a day or two. Call it at the outside +a week. We've been at it night and day for I don't know how long. Mr +Rugg, you know how long? Never mind. Don't say. You'll only confuse me. +You shall tell her, Mr Clennam. Not till we give you leave. Where's that +rough total, Mr Rugg? Oh! Here we are! There sir! That's what you'll +have to break to her. That man's your Father of the Marshalsea!' + + + + +CHAPTER 33. Mrs Merdle's Complaint + + +Resigning herself to inevitable fate by making the best of those people, +the Miggleses, and submitting her philosophy to the draught upon it, of +which she had foreseen the likelihood in her interview with Arthur, +Mrs Gowan handsomely resolved not to oppose her son's marriage. In her +progress to, and happy arrival at, this resolution, she was possibly +influenced, not only by her maternal affections but by three politic +considerations. + +Of these, the first may have been that her son had never signified the +smallest intention to ask her consent, or any mistrust of his ability +to dispense with it; the second, that the pension bestowed upon her by a +grateful country (and a Barnacle) would be freed from any little filial +inroads, when her Henry should be married to the darling only child of +a man in very easy circumstances; the third, that Henry's debts must +clearly be paid down upon the altar-railing by his father-in-law. When, +to these three-fold points of prudence there is added the fact that +Mrs Gowan yielded her consent the moment she knew of Mr Meagles having +yielded his, and that Mr Meagles's objection to the marriage had +been the sole obstacle in its way all along, it becomes the height of +probability that the relict of the deceased Commissioner of nothing +particular, turned these ideas in her sagacious mind. + +Among her connections and acquaintances, however, she maintained her +individual dignity and the dignity of the blood of the Barnacles, by +diligently nursing the pretence that it was a most unfortunate business; +that she was sadly cut up by it; that this was a perfect fascination +under which Henry laboured; that she had opposed it for a long time, +but what could a mother do; and the like. She had already called Arthur +Clennam to bear witness to this fable, as a friend of the Meagles +family; and she followed up the move by now impounding the family itself +for the same purpose. In the first interview she accorded to Mr Meagles, +she slided herself into the position of disconsolately but gracefully +yielding to irresistible pressure. With the utmost politeness and +good-breeding, she feigned that it was she--not he--who had made the +difficulty, and who at length gave way; and that the sacrifice was +hers--not his. The same feint, with the same polite dexterity, she +foisted on Mrs Meagles, as a conjuror might have forced a card on that +innocent lady; and, when her future daughter-in-law was presented to her +by her son, she said on embracing her, 'My dear, what have you done to +Henry that has bewitched him so!' at the same time allowing a few tears +to carry before them, in little pills, the cosmetic powder on her nose; +as a delicate but touching signal that she suffered much inwardly for +the show of composure with which she bore her misfortune. + +Among the friends of Mrs Gowan (who piqued herself at once on being +Society, and on maintaining intimate and easy relations with that +Power), Mrs Merdle occupied a front row. True, the Hampton Court +Bohemians, without exception, turned up their noses at Merdle as an +upstart; but they turned them down again, by falling flat on their faces +to worship his wealth. In which compensating adjustment of their noses, +they were pretty much like Treasury, Bar, and Bishop, and all the rest +of them. + +To Mrs Merdle, Mrs Gowan repaired on a visit of self-condolence, after +having given the gracious consent aforesaid. She drove into town for the +purpose in a one-horse carriage irreverently called at that period of +English history, a pill-box. It belonged to a job-master in a small way, +who drove it himself, and who jobbed it by the day, or hour, to most of +the old ladies in Hampton Court Palace; but it was a point of ceremony, +in that encampment, that the whole equipage should be tacitly regarded +as the private property of the jobber for the time being, and that the +job-master should betray personal knowledge of nobody but the jobber +in possession. So the Circumlocution Barnacles, who were the largest +job-masters in the universe, always pretended to know of no other job +but the job immediately in hand. + +Mrs Merdle was at home, and was in her nest of crimson and gold, with +the parrot on a neighbouring stem watching her with his head on one +side, as if he took her for another splendid parrot of a larger species. +To whom entered Mrs Gowan, with her favourite green fan, which softened +the light on the spots of bloom. + +'My dear soul,' said Mrs Gowan, tapping the back of her friend's hand +with this fan after a little indifferent conversation, 'you are my only +comfort. That affair of Henry's that I told you of, is to take place. +Now, how does it strike you? I am dying to know, because you represent +and express Society so well.' + +Mrs Merdle reviewed the bosom which Society was accustomed to review; +and having ascertained that show-window of Mr Merdle's and the London +jewellers' to be in good order, replied: + +'As to marriage on the part of a man, my dear, Society requires that +he should retrieve his fortunes by marriage. Society requires that +he should gain by marriage. Society requires that he should found a +handsome establishment by marriage. Society does not see, otherwise, +what he has to do with marriage. Bird, be quiet!' + +For the parrot on his cage above them, presiding over the conference as +if he were a judge (and indeed he looked rather like one), had wound up +the exposition with a shriek. + +'Cases there are,' said Mrs Merdle, delicately crooking the little +finger of her favourite hand, and making her remarks neater by that neat +action; 'cases there are where a man is not young or elegant, and is +rich, and has a handsome establishment already. Those are of a different +kind. In such cases--' + +Mrs Merdle shrugged her snowy shoulders and put her hand upon the +jewel-stand, checking a little cough, as though to add, 'why, a man +looks out for this sort of thing, my dear.' Then the parrot shrieked +again, and she put up her glass to look at him, and said, 'Bird! Do be +quiet!' + +'But, young men,' resumed Mrs Merdle, 'and by young men you know +what I mean, my love--I mean people's sons who have the world before +them--they must place themselves in a better position towards Society by +marriage, or Society really will not have any patience with their making +fools of themselves. Dreadfully worldly all this sounds,' said Mrs +Merdle, leaning back in her nest and putting up her glass again, 'does +it not?' + +'But it is true,' said Mrs Gowan, with a highly moral air. + +'My dear, it is not to be disputed for a moment,' returned Mrs Merdle; +'because Society has made up its mind on the subject, and there is +nothing more to be said. If we were in a more primitive state, if we +lived under roofs of leaves, and kept cows and sheep and creatures +instead of banker's accounts (which would be delicious; my dear, I am +pastoral to a degree, by nature), well and good. But we don't live +under leaves, and keep cows and sheep and creatures. I perfectly exhaust +myself sometimes, in pointing out the distinction to Edmund Sparkler.' + +Mrs Gowan, looking over her green fan when this young gentleman's name +was mentioned, replied as follows: + +'My love, you know the wretched state of the country--those unfortunate +concessions of John Barnacle's!--and you therefore know the reasons for +my being as poor as Thingummy.' + +'A church mouse?' Mrs Merdle suggested with a smile. + +'I was thinking of the other proverbial church person--Job,' said Mrs +Gowan. 'Either will do. It would be idle to disguise, consequently, that +there is a wide difference between the position of your son and mine. I +may add, too, that Henry has talent--' + +'Which Edmund certainly has not,' said Mrs Merdle, with the greatest +suavity. + +'--and that his talent, combined with disappointment,' Mrs Gowan went +on, 'has led him into a pursuit which--ah dear me! You know, my dear. +Such being Henry's different position, the question is what is the most +inferior class of marriage to which I can reconcile myself.' + +Mrs Merdle was so much engaged with the contemplation of her arms +(beautiful-formed arms, and the very thing for bracelets), that she +omitted to reply for a while. Roused at length by the silence, she +folded the arms, and with admirable presence of mind looked her friend +full in the face, and said interrogatively, 'Ye-es? And then?' + +'And then, my dear,' said Mrs Gowan not quite so sweetly as before, 'I +should be glad to hear what you have to say to it.' + +Here the parrot, who had been standing on one leg since he screamed +last, burst into a fit of laughter, bobbed himself derisively up and +down on both legs, and finished by standing on one leg again, and +pausing for a reply, with his head as much awry as he could possibly +twist it. + +'Sounds mercenary to ask what the gentleman is to get with the lady,' +said Mrs Merdle; 'but Society is perhaps a little mercenary, you know, +my dear.' + +'From what I can make out,' said Mrs Gowan, 'I believe I may say that +Henry will be relieved from debt--' + +'Much in debt?' asked Mrs Merdle through her eyeglass. + +'Why tolerably, I should think,' said Mrs Gowan. + +'Meaning the usual thing; I understand; just so,' Mrs Merdle observed in +a comfortable sort of way. + +'And that the father will make them an allowance of three hundred +a-year, or perhaps altogether something more, which, in Italy-' + +'Oh! Going to Italy?' said Mrs Merdle. + +'For Henry to study. You need be at no loss to guess why, my dear. +That dreadful Art--' + +True. Mrs Merdle hastened to spare the feelings of her afflicted friend. +She understood. Say no more! + +'And that,' said Mrs Gowan, shaking her despondent head, 'that's all. +That,' repeated Mrs Gowan, furling her green fan for the moment, and +tapping her chin with it (it was on the way to being a double chin; +might be called a chin and a half at present), 'that's all! On the death +of the old people, I suppose there will be more to come; but how it may +be restricted or locked up, I don't know. And as to that, they may live +for ever. My dear, they are just the kind of people to do it.' + +Now, Mrs Merdle, who really knew her friend Society pretty well, and who +knew what Society's mothers were, and what Society's daughters were, and +what Society's matrimonial market was, and how prices ruled in it, and +what scheming and counter-scheming took place for the high buyers, and +what bargaining and huckstering went on, thought in the depths of +her capacious bosom that this was a sufficiently good catch. Knowing, +however, what was expected of her, and perceiving the exact nature of +the fiction to be nursed, she took it delicately in her arms, and put +her required contribution of gloss upon it. + +'And that is all, my dear?' said she, heaving a friendly sigh. 'Well, +well! The fault is not yours. You have nothing to reproach yourself +with. You must exercise the strength of mind for which you are renowned, +and make the best of it.' + +'The girl's family have made,' said Mrs Gowan, 'of course, the most +strenuous endeavours to--as the lawyers say--to have and to hold Henry.' + +'Of course they have, my dear,' said Mrs Merdle. + +'I have persisted in every possible objection, and have worried +myself morning, noon, and night, for means to detach Henry from the +connection.' + +'No doubt you have, my dear,' said Mrs Merdle. + +'And all of no use. All has broken down beneath me. Now tell me, my +love. Am I justified in at last yielding my most reluctant consent to +Henry's marrying among people not in Society; or, have I acted with +inexcusable weakness?' + +In answer to this direct appeal, Mrs Merdle assured Mrs Gowan (speaking +as a Priestess of Society) that she was highly to be commended, that +she was much to be sympathised with, that she had taken the highest of +parts, and had come out of the furnace refined. And Mrs Gowan, who of +course saw through her own threadbare blind perfectly, and who knew that +Mrs Merdle saw through it perfectly, and who knew that Society would see +through it perfectly, came out of this form, notwithstanding, as she had +gone into it, with immense complacency and gravity. + +The conference was held at four or five o'clock in the afternoon, when +all the region of Harley Street, Cavendish Square, was resonant of +carriage-wheels and double-knocks. It had reached this point when Mr +Merdle came home from his daily occupation of causing the British +name to be more and more respected in all parts of the civilised globe +capable of the appreciation of world-wide commercial enterprise and +gigantic combinations of skill and capital. For, though nobody knew with +the least precision what Mr Merdle's business was, except that it was +to coin money, these were the terms in which everybody defined it on all +ceremonious occasions, and which it was the last new polite reading of +the parable of the camel and the needle's eye to accept without inquiry. + +For a gentleman who had this splendid work cut out for him, Mr Merdle +looked a little common, and rather as if, in the course of his vast +transactions, he had accidentally made an interchange of heads with +some inferior spirit. He presented himself before the two ladies in the +course of a dismal stroll through his mansion, which had no apparent +object but escape from the presence of the chief butler. + +'I beg your pardon,' he said, stopping short in confusion; 'I didn't +know there was anybody here but the parrot.' + +However, as Mrs Merdle said, 'You can come in!' and as Mrs Gowan said +she was just going, and had already risen to take her leave, he came in, +and stood looking out at a distant window, with his hands crossed under +his uneasy coat-cuffs, clasping his wrists as if he were taking himself +into custody. In this attitude he fell directly into a reverie from +which he was only aroused by his wife's calling to him from her ottoman, +when they had been for some quarter of an hour alone. + +'Eh? Yes?' said Mr Merdle, turning towards her. 'What is it?' + +'What is it?' repeated Mrs Merdle. 'It is, I suppose, that you have not +heard a word of my complaint.' + +'Your complaint, Mrs Merdle?' said Mr Merdle. 'I didn't know that you +were suffering from a complaint. What complaint?' + +'A complaint of you,' said Mrs Merdle. + +'Oh! A complaint of me,' said Mr Merdle. 'What is the--what have I--what +may you have to complain of in me, Mrs Merdle?' + +In his withdrawing, abstracted, pondering way, it took him some time to +shape this question. As a kind of faint attempt to convince himself +that he was the master of the house, he concluded by presenting his +forefinger to the parrot, who expressed his opinion on that subject by +instantly driving his bill into it. + +'You were saying, Mrs Merdle,' said Mr Merdle, with his wounded finger +in his mouth, 'that you had a complaint against me?' + +'A complaint which I could scarcely show the justice of more +emphatically, than by having to repeat it,' said Mrs Merdle. 'I might as +well have stated it to the wall. I had far better have stated it to the +bird. He would at least have screamed.' + +'You don't want me to scream, Mrs Merdle, I suppose,' said Mr Merdle, +taking a chair. + +'Indeed I don't know,' retorted Mrs Merdle, 'but that you had better do +that, than be so moody and distraught. One would at least know that you +were sensible of what was going on around you.' + +'A man might scream, and yet not be that, Mrs Merdle,' said Mr Merdle, +heavily. + +'And might be dogged, as you are at present, without screaming,' +returned Mrs Merdle. 'That's very true. If you wish to know the +complaint I make against you, it is, in so many plain words, that you +really ought not to go into Society unless you can accommodate yourself +to Society.' + +Mr Merdle, so twisting his hands into what hair he had upon his head +that he seemed to lift himself up by it as he started out of his chair, +cried: + +'Why, in the name of all the infernal powers, Mrs Merdle, who +does more for Society than I do? Do you see these premises, Mrs Merdle? +Do you see this furniture, Mrs Merdle? Do you look in the glass and see +yourself, Mrs Merdle? Do you know the cost of all this, and who it's +all provided for? And yet will you tell me that I oughtn't to go into +Society? I, who shower money upon it in this way? I, who might always be +said--to--to--to harness myself to a watering-cart full of money, and go +about saturating Society every day of my life.' + +'Pray, don't be violent, Mr Merdle,' said Mrs Merdle. + +'Violent?' said Mr Merdle. 'You are enough to make me desperate. You +don't know half of what I do to accommodate Society. You don't know +anything of the sacrifices I make for it.' + +'I know,' returned Mrs Merdle, 'that you receive the best in the land. I +know that you move in the whole Society of the country. And I believe +I know (indeed, not to make any ridiculous pretence about it, I know I +know) who sustains you in it, Mr Merdle.' + +'Mrs Merdle,' retorted that gentleman, wiping his dull red and yellow +face, 'I know that as well as you do. If you were not an ornament to +Society, and if I was not a benefactor to Society, you and I would never +have come together. When I say a benefactor to it, I mean a person who +provides it with all sorts of expensive things to eat and drink and look +at. But, to tell me that I am not fit for it after all I have done +for it--after all I have done for it,' repeated Mr Merdle, with a wild +emphasis that made his wife lift up her eyelids, 'after all--all!--to +tell me I have no right to mix with it after all, is a pretty reward.' + +'I say,' answered Mrs Merdle composedly, 'that you ought to make +yourself fit for it by being more degage, and less preoccupied. There is +a positive vulgarity in carrying your business affairs about with you as +you do.' + +'How do I carry them about, Mrs Merdle?' asked Mr Merdle. + +'How do you carry them about?' said Mrs Merdle. 'Look at yourself in the +glass.' + +Mr Merdle involuntarily turned his eyes in the direction of the nearest +mirror, and asked, with a slow determination of his turbid blood to his +temples, whether a man was to be called to account for his digestion? + +'You have a physician,' said Mrs Merdle. + +'He does me no good,' said Mr Merdle. + +Mrs Merdle changed her ground. + +'Besides,' said she, 'your digestion is nonsense. I don't speak of your +digestion. I speak of your manner.' + +'Mrs Merdle,' returned her husband, 'I look to you for that. You supply +manner, and I supply money.' + +'I don't expect you,' said Mrs Merdle, reposing easily among her +cushions, 'to captivate people. I don't want you to take any trouble +upon yourself, or to try to be fascinating. I simply request you to care +about nothing--or seem to care about nothing--as everybody else does.' + +'Do I ever say I care about anything?' asked Mr Merdle. + +'Say? No! Nobody would attend to you if you did. But you show it.' + +'Show what? What do I show?' demanded Mr Merdle hurriedly. + +'I have already told you. You show that you carry your business cares +an projects about, instead of leaving them in the City, or wherever else +they belong to,' said Mrs Merdle. 'Or seeming to. Seeming would be quite +enough: I ask no more. Whereas you couldn't be more occupied with your +day's calculations and combinations than you habitually show yourself to +be, if you were a carpenter.' + +'A carpenter!' repeated Mr Merdle, checking something like a groan. +'I shouldn't so much mind being a carpenter, Mrs Merdle.' + +'And my complaint is,' pursued the lady, disregarding the low remark, +'that it is not the tone of Society, and that you ought to correct +it, Mr Merdle. If you have any doubt of my judgment, ask even Edmund +Sparkler.' The door of the room had opened, and Mrs Merdle now surveyed +the head of her son through her glass. 'Edmund; we want you here.' + +Mr Sparkler, who had merely put in his head and looked round the room +without entering (as if he were searching the house for that young lady +with no nonsense about her), upon this followed up his head with his +body, and stood before them. To whom, in a few easy words adapted to his +capacity, Mrs Merdle stated the question at issue. + +The young gentleman, after anxiously feeling his shirt-collar as if it +were his pulse and he were hypochondriacal, observed, 'That he had heard +it noticed by fellers.' + +'Edmund Sparkler has heard it noticed,' said Mrs Merdle, with languid +triumph. 'Why, no doubt everybody has heard it noticed!' Which in truth +was no unreasonable inference; seeing that Mr Sparkler would probably be +the last person, in any assemblage of the human species, to receive an +impression from anything that passed in his presence. + +'And Edmund Sparkler will tell you, I dare say,' said Mrs Merdle, waving +her favourite hand towards her husband, 'how he has heard it noticed.' + +'I couldn't,' said Mr Sparkler, after feeling his pulse as before, +'couldn't undertake to say what led to it--'cause memory desperate +loose. But being in company with the brother of a doosed fine gal--well +educated too--with no biggodd nonsense about her--at the period alluded +to--' + +'There! Never mind the sister,' remarked Mrs Merdle, a little +impatiently. 'What did the brother say?' + +'Didn't say a word, ma'am,' answered Mr Sparkler. 'As silent a feller as +myself. Equally hard up for a remark.' + +'Somebody said something,' returned Mrs Merdle. 'Never mind who it was.' + +('Assure you I don't in the least,' said Mr Sparkler.) + +'But tell us what it was.' + +Mr Sparkler referred to his pulse again, and put himself through some +severe mental discipline before he replied: + +'Fellers referring to my Governor--expression not my own--occasionally +compliment my Governor in a very handsome way on being immensely rich +and knowing--perfect phenomenon of Buyer and Banker and that--but say +the Shop sits heavily on him. Say he carried the Shop about, on his back +rather--like Jew clothesmen with too much business.' + +'Which,' said Mrs Merdle, rising, with her floating drapery about her, +'is exactly my complaint. Edmund, give me your arm up-stairs.' + +Mr Merdle, left alone to meditate on a better conformation of himself to +Society, looked out of nine windows in succession, and appeared to +see nine wastes of space. When he had thus entertained himself he went +down-stairs, and looked intently at all the carpets on the ground-floor; +and then came up-stairs again, and looked intently at all the carpets +on the first-floor; as if they were gloomy depths, in unison with his +oppressed soul. Through all the rooms he wandered, as he always did, +like the last person on earth who had any business to approach them. Let +Mrs Merdle announce, with all her might, that she was at Home ever +so many nights in a season, she could not announce more widely and +unmistakably than Mr Merdle did that he was never at home. + +At last he met the chief butler, the sight of which splendid retainer +always finished him. Extinguished by this great creature, he sneaked +to his dressing-room, and there remained shut up until he rode out to +dinner, with Mrs Merdle, in her own handsome chariot. At dinner, he was +envied and flattered as a being of might, was Treasuried, Barred, and +Bishoped, as much as he would; and an hour after midnight came home +alone, and being instantly put out again in his own hall, like a +rushlight, by the chief butler, went sighing to bed. + + + + +CHAPTER 34. A Shoal of Barnacles + + +Mr Henry Gowan and the dog were established frequenters of the cottage, +and the day was fixed for the wedding. There was to be a convocation of +Barnacles on the occasion, in order that that very high and very large +family might shed as much lustre on the marriage as so dim an event was +capable of receiving. + +To have got the whole Barnacle family together would have been +impossible for two reasons. Firstly, because no building could have held +all the members and connections of that illustrious house. Secondly, +because wherever there was a square yard of ground in British occupation +under the sun or moon, with a public post upon it, sticking to that post +was a Barnacle. No intrepid navigator could plant a flag-staff upon any +spot of earth, and take possession of it in the British name, but +to that spot of earth, so soon as the discovery was known, the +Circumlocution Office sent out a Barnacle and a despatch-box. Thus the +Barnacles were all over the world, in every direction--despatch-boxing +the compass. + +But, while the so-potent art of Prospero himself would have failed in +summoning the Barnacles from every speck of ocean and dry land on +which there was nothing (except mischief) to be done and anything to be +pocketed, it was perfectly feasible to assemble a good many Barnacles. +This Mrs Gowan applied herself to do; calling on Mr Meagles frequently +with new additions to the list, and holding conferences with that +gentleman when he was not engaged (as he generally was at this period) +in examining and paying the debts of his future son-in-law, in the +apartment of scales and scoop. + +One marriage guest there was, in reference to whose presence Mr Meagles +felt a nearer interest and concern than in the attendance of the most +elevated Barnacle expected; though he was far from insensible of the +honour of having such company. This guest was Clennam. But Clennam had +made a promise he held sacred, among the trees that summer night, and, +in the chivalry of his heart, regarded it as binding him to many implied +obligations. In forgetfulness of himself, and delicate service to her on +all occasions, he was never to fail; to begin it, he answered Mr Meagles +cheerfully, 'I shall come, of course.' + +His partner, Daniel Doyce, was something of a stumbling-block in Mr +Meagles's way, the worthy gentleman being not at all clear in his own +anxious mind but that the mingling of Daniel with official Barnacleism +might produce some explosive combination, even at a marriage breakfast. +The national offender, however, lightened him of his uneasiness by +coming down to Twickenham to represent that he begged, with the freedom +of an old friend, and as a favour to one, that he might not be invited. +'For,' said he, 'as my business with this set of gentlemen was to do a +public duty and a public service, and as their business with me was to +prevent it by wearing my soul out, I think we had better not eat and +drink together with a show of being of one mind.' Mr Meagles was much +amused by his friend's oddity; and patronised him with a more protecting +air of allowance than usual, when he rejoined: 'Well, well, Dan, you +shall have your own crotchety way.' + +To Mr Henry Gowan, as the time approached, Clennam tried to convey +by all quiet and unpretending means, that he was frankly and +disinterestedly desirous of tendering him any friendship he would +accept. Mr Gowan treated him in return with his usual ease, and with his +usual show of confidence, which was no confidence at all. + +'You see, Clennam,' he happened to remark in the course of conversation +one day, when they were walking near the Cottage within a week of the +marriage, 'I am a disappointed man. That you know already.' + +'Upon my word,' said Clennam, a little embarrassed, 'I scarcely know +how.' + +'Why,' returned Gowan, 'I belong to a clan, or a clique, or a family, or +a connection, or whatever you like to call it, that might have provided +for me in any one of fifty ways, and that took it into its head not to +do it at all. So here I am, a poor devil of an artist.' + +Clennam was beginning, 'But on the other hand--' when Gowan took him up. + +'Yes, yes, I know. I have the good fortune of being beloved by a +beautiful and charming girl whom I love with all my heart.' + +('Is there much of it?' Clennam thought. And as he thought it, felt +ashamed of himself.) + +'And of finding a father-in-law who is a capital fellow and a liberal +good old boy. Still, I had other prospects washed and combed into my +childish head when it was washed and combed for me, and I took them to +a public school when I washed and combed it for myself, and I am here +without them, and thus I am a disappointed man.' + +Clennam thought (and as he thought it, again felt ashamed of himself), +was this notion of being disappointed in life, an assertion of station +which the bridegroom brought into the family as his property, having +already carried it detrimentally into his pursuit? And was it a hopeful +or a promising thing anywhere? + +'Not bitterly disappointed, I think,' he said aloud. + +'Hang it, no; not bitterly,' laughed Gowan. 'My people are not worth +that--though they are charming fellows, and I have the greatest +affection for them. Besides, it's pleasant to show them that I can do +without them, and that they may all go to the Devil. And besides, again, +most men are disappointed in life, somehow or other, and influenced by +their disappointment. But it's a dear good world, and I love it!' + +'It lies fair before you now,' said Arthur. + +'Fair as this summer river,' cried the other, with enthusiasm, 'and by +Jove I glow with admiration of it, and with ardour to run a race in it. +It's the best of old worlds! And my calling! The best of old callings, +isn't it?' + +'Full of interest and ambition, I conceive,' said Clennam. + +'And imposition,' added Gowan, laughing; 'we won't leave out the +imposition. I hope I may not break down in that; but there, my being +a disappointed man may show itself. I may not be able to face it out +gravely enough. Between you and me, I think there is some danger of my +being just enough soured not to be able to do that.' + +'To do what?' asked Clennam. + +'To keep it up. To help myself in my turn, as the man before me helps +himself in his, and pass the bottle of smoke. To keep up the pretence +as to labour, and study, and patience, and being devoted to my art, and +giving up many solitary days to it, and abandoning many pleasures for +it, and living in it, and all the rest of it--in short, to pass the +bottle of smoke according to rule.' + +'But it is well for a man to respect his own vocation, whatever it is; +and to think himself bound to uphold it, and to claim for it the respect +it deserves; is it not?' Arthur reasoned. 'And your vocation, Gowan, +may really demand this suit and service. I confess I should have thought +that all Art did.' + +'What a good fellow you are, Clennam!' exclaimed the other, stopping +to look at him, as if with irrepressible admiration. 'What a capital +fellow! _You_ have never been disappointed. That's easy to see.' + +It would have been so cruel if he had meant it, that Clennam firmly +resolved to believe he did not mean it. Gowan, without pausing, laid his +hand upon his shoulder, and laughingly and lightly went on: + +'Clennam, I don't like to dispel your generous visions, and I would give +any money (if I had any), to live in such a rose-coloured mist. But what +I do in my trade, I do to sell. What all we fellows do, we do to +sell. If we didn't want to sell it for the most we can get for it, we +shouldn't do it. Being work, it has to be done; but it's easily enough +done. All the rest is hocus-pocus. Now here's one of the advantages, or +disadvantages, of knowing a disappointed man. You hear the truth.' + +Whatever he had heard, and whether it deserved that name or another, it +sank into Clennam's mind. It so took root there, that he began to fear +Henry Gowan would always be a trouble to him, and that so far he had +gained little or nothing from the dismissal of Nobody, with all his +inconsistencies, anxieties, and contradictions. He found a contest still +always going on in his breast between his promise to keep Gowan in +none but good aspects before the mind of Mr Meagles, and his enforced +observation of Gowan in aspects that had no good in them. Nor could he +quite support his own conscientious nature against misgivings that he +distorted and discoloured himself, by reminding himself that he never +sought those discoveries, and that he would have avoided them with +willingness and great relief. For he never could forget what he had +been; and he knew that he had once disliked Gowan for no better reason +than that he had come in his way. + +Harassed by these thoughts, he now began to wish the marriage over, +Gowan and his young wife gone, and himself left to fulfil his promise, +and discharge the generous function he had accepted. This last week was, +in truth, an uneasy interval for the whole house. Before Pet, or before +Gowan, Mr Meagles was radiant; but Clennam had more than once found him +alone, with his view of the scales and scoop much blurred, and had often +seen him look after the lovers, in the garden or elsewhere when he was +not seen by them, with the old clouded face on which Gowan had fallen +like a shadow. In the arrangement of the house for the great occasion, +many little reminders of the old travels of the father and mother +and daughter had to be disturbed and passed from hand to hand; and +sometimes, in the midst of these mute witnesses, to the life they had +had together, even Pet herself would yield to lamenting and weeping. +Mrs Meagles, the blithest and busiest of mothers, went about singing +and cheering everybody; but she, honest soul, had her flights into store +rooms, where she would cry until her eyes were red, and would then +come out, attributing that appearance to pickled onions and pepper, and +singing clearer than ever. Mrs Tickit, finding no balsam for a wounded +mind in Buchan's Domestic Medicine, suffered greatly from low spirits, +and from moving recollections of Minnie's infancy. When the latter was +powerful with her, she usually sent up secret messages importing +that she was not in parlour condition as to her attire, and that she +solicited a sight of 'her child' in the kitchen; there, she would bless +her child's face, and bless her child's heart, and hug her child, in a +medley of tears and congratulations, chopping-boards, rolling-pins, and +pie-crust, with the tenderness of an old attached servant, which is a +very pretty tenderness indeed. + +But all days come that are to be; and the marriage-day was to be, and it +came; and with it came all the Barnacles who were bidden to the feast. + +There was Mr Tite Barnacle, from the Circumlocution Office, and Mews +Street, Grosvenor Square, with the expensive Mrs Tite Barnacle _nee_ +Stiltstalking, who made the Quarter Days so long in coming, and the +three expensive Miss Tite Barnacles, double-loaded with accomplishments +and ready to go off, and yet not going off with the sharpness of flash +and bang that might have been expected, but rather hanging fire. There +was Barnacle junior, also from the Circumlocution Office, leaving the +Tonnage of the country, which he was somehow supposed to take under +his protection, to look after itself, and, sooth to say, not at all +impairing the efficiency of its protection by leaving it alone. There +was the engaging Young Barnacle, deriving from the sprightly side of the +family, also from the Circumlocution Office, gaily and agreeably helping +the occasion along, and treating it, in his sparkling way, as one of the +official forms and fees of the Church Department of How not to do it. +There were three other Young Barnacles from three other offices, insipid +to all the senses, and terribly in want of seasoning, doing the marriage +as they would have 'done' the Nile, Old Rome, the new singer, or +Jerusalem. + +But there was greater game than this. There was Lord Decimus Tite +Barnacle himself, in the odour of Circumlocution--with the very smell of +Despatch-Boxes upon him. Yes, there was Lord Decimus Tite Barnacle, who +had risen to official heights on the wings of one indignant idea, and +that was, My Lords, that I am yet to be told that it behoves a Minister +of this free country to set bounds to the philanthropy, to cramp the +charity, to fetter the public spirit, to contract the enterprise, to +damp the independent self-reliance, of its people. That was, in other +words, that this great statesman was always yet to be told that it +behoved the Pilot of the ship to do anything but prosper in the private +loaf and fish trade ashore, the crew being able, by dint of hard +pumping, to keep the ship above water without him. On this sublime +discovery in the great art How not to do it, Lord Decimus had long +sustained the highest glory of the Barnacle family; and let any +ill-advised member of either House but try How to do it by bringing in +a Bill to do it, that Bill was as good as dead and buried when Lord +Decimus Tite Barnacle rose up in his place and solemnly said, soaring +into indignant majesty as the Circumlocution cheering soared around +him, that he was yet to be told, My Lords, that it behoved him as the +Minister of this free country, to set bounds to the philanthropy, +to cramp the charity, to fetter the public spirit, to contract the +enterprise, to damp the independent self-reliance, of its people. The +discovery of this Behoving Machine was the discovery of the political +perpetual motion. It never wore out, though it was always going round +and round in all the State Departments. + +And there, with his noble friend and relative Lord Decimus, was +William Barnacle, who had made the ever-famous coalition with Tudor +Stiltstalking, and who always kept ready his own particular recipe for +How not to do it; sometimes tapping the Speaker, and drawing it fresh +out of him, with a 'First, I will beg you, sir, to inform the House what +Precedent we have for the course into which the honourable gentleman +would precipitate us;' sometimes asking the honourable gentleman to +favour him with his own version of the Precedent; sometimes telling +the honourable gentleman that he (William Barnacle) would search for a +Precedent; and oftentimes crushing the honourable gentleman flat on +the spot by telling him there was no Precedent. But Precedent and +Precipitate were, under all circumstances, the well-matched pair of +battle-horses of this able Circumlocutionist. No matter that the unhappy +honourable gentleman had been trying in vain, for twenty-five years, to +precipitate William Barnacle into this--William Barnacle still put it to +the House, and (at second-hand or so) to the country, whether he was to +be precipitated into this. No matter that it was utterly irreconcilable +with the nature of things and course of events that the wretched +honourable gentleman could possibly produce a Precedent for +this--William Barnacle would nevertheless thank the honourable gentleman +for that ironical cheer, and would close with him upon that issue, and +would tell him to his teeth that there Was NO Precedent for this. It +might perhaps have been objected that the William Barnacle wisdom was +not high wisdom or the earth it bamboozled would never have been made, +or, if made in a rash mistake, would have remained blank mud. But +Precedent and Precipitate together frightened all objection out of most +people. + +And there, too, was another Barnacle, a lively one, who had leaped +through twenty places in quick succession, and was always in two or +three at once, and who was the much-respected inventor of an art +which he practised with great success and admiration in all Barnacle +Governments. This was, when he was asked a Parliamentary question on +any one topic, to return an answer on any other. It had done immense +service, and brought him into high esteem with the Circumlocution +Office. + +And there, too, was a sprinkling of less distinguished Parliamentary +Barnacles, who had not as yet got anything snug, and were going through +their probation to prove their worthiness. These Barnacles perched upon +staircases and hid in passages, waiting their orders to make houses +or not to make houses; and they did all their hearing, and ohing, and +cheering, and barking, under directions from the heads of the family; +and they put dummy motions on the paper in the way of other men's +motions; and they stalled disagreeable subjects off until late in the +night and late in the session, and then with virtuous patriotism cried +out that it was too late; and they went down into the country, whenever +they were sent, and swore that Lord Decimus had revived trade from a +swoon, and commerce from a fit, and had doubled the harvest of corn, +quadrupled the harvest of hay, and prevented no end of gold from flying +out of the Bank. Also these Barnacles were dealt, by the heads of the +family, like so many cards below the court-cards, to public meetings and +dinners; where they bore testimony to all sorts of services on the part +of their noble and honourable relatives, and buttered the Barnacles on +all sorts of toasts. And they stood, under similar orders, at all sorts +of elections; and they turned out of their own seats, on the shortest +notice and the most unreasonable terms, to let in other men; and they +fetched and carried, and toadied and jobbed, and corrupted, and ate +heaps of dirt, and were indefatigable in the public service. And there +was not a list, in all the Circumlocution Office, of places that might +fall vacant anywhere within half a century, from a lord of the Treasury +to a Chinese consul, and up again to a governor-general of India, but as +applicants for such places, the names of some or of every one of these +hungry and adhesive Barnacles were down. + +It was necessarily but a sprinkling of any class of Barnacles that +attended the marriage, for there were not two score in all, and what +is that subtracted from Legion! But the sprinkling was a swarm in the +Twickenham cottage, and filled it. A Barnacle (assisted by a Barnacle) +married the happy pair, and it behoved Lord Decimus Tite Barnacle +himself to conduct Mrs Meagles to breakfast. + +The entertainment was not as agreeable and natural as it might have +been. Mr Meagles, hove down by his good company while he highly +appreciated it, was not himself. Mrs Gowan was herself, and that did not +improve him. The fiction that it was not Mr Meagles who had stood in the +way, but that it was the Family greatness, and that the Family greatness +had made a concession, and there was now a soothing unanimity, pervaded +the affair, though it was never openly expressed. Then the Barnacles +felt that they for their parts would have done with the Meagleses when +the present patronising occasion was over; and the Meagleses felt the +same for their parts. Then Gowan asserting his rights as a disappointed +man who had his grudge against the family, and who, perhaps, had allowed +his mother to have them there, as much in the hope it might give them +some annoyance as with any other benevolent object, aired his pencil and +his poverty ostentatiously before them, and told them he hoped in time +to settle a crust of bread and cheese on his wife, and that he begged +such of them as (more fortunate than himself) came in for any good +thing, and could buy a picture, to please to remember the poor painter. +Then Lord Decimus, who was a wonder on his own Parliamentary pedestal, +turned out to be the windiest creature here: proposing happiness to the +bride and bridegroom in a series of platitudes that would have made the +hair of any sincere disciple and believer stand on end; and trotting, +with the complacency of an idiotic elephant, among howling labyrinths of +sentences which he seemed to take for high roads, and never so much +as wanted to get out of. Then Mr Tite Barnacle could not but feel that +there was a person in company, who would have disturbed his life-long +sitting to Sir Thomas Lawrence in full official character, if such +disturbance had been possible: while Barnacle junior did, with +indignation, communicate to two vapid gentlemen, his relatives, that +there was a feller here, look here, who had come to our Department +without an appointment and said he wanted to know, you know; and that, +look here, if he was to break out now, as he might you know (for you +never could tell what an ungentlemanly Radical of that sort would be up +to next), and was to say, look here, that he wanted to know this moment, +you know, that would be jolly; wouldn't it? + +The pleasantest part of the occasion by far, to Clennam, was the +painfullest. When Mr and Mrs Meagles at last hung about Pet in the room +with the two pictures (where the company were not), before going with +her to the threshold which she could never recross to be the old Pet and +the old delight, nothing could be more natural and simple than the three +were. Gowan himself was touched, and answered Mr Meagles's 'O Gowan, +take care of her, take care of her!' with an earnest 'Don't be so +broken-hearted, sir. By Heaven I will!' + +And so, with the last sobs and last loving words, and a last look to +Clennam of confidence in his promise, Pet fell back in the carriage, +and her husband waved his hand, and they were away for Dover; though not +until the faithful Mrs Tickit, in her silk gown and jet black curls, had +rushed out from some hiding-place, and thrown both her shoes after +the carriage: an apparition which occasioned great surprise to the +distinguished company at the windows. + +The said company being now relieved from further attendance, and the +chief Barnacles being rather hurried (for they had it in hand just +then to send a mail or two which was in danger of going straight to its +destination, beating about the seas like the Flying Dutchman, and to +arrange with complexity for the stoppage of a good deal of important +business otherwise in peril of being done), went their several ways; +with all affability conveying to Mr and Mrs Meagles that general +assurance that what they had been doing there, they had been doing at a +sacrifice for Mr and Mrs Meagles's good, which they always conveyed to +Mr John Bull in their official condescension to that most unfortunate +creature. + +A miserable blank remained in the house and in the hearts of the father +and mother and Clennam. Mr Meagles called only one remembrance to his +aid, that really did him good. + +'It's very gratifying, Arthur,' he said, 'after all, to look back upon.' + +'The past?' said Clennam. + +'Yes--but I mean the company.' + +It had made him much more low and unhappy at the time, but now it really +did him good. 'It's very gratifying,' he said, often repeating the +remark in the course of the evening. 'Such high company!' + + + + +CHAPTER 35. What was behind Mr Pancks on Little Dorrit's Hand + + +It was at this time that Mr Pancks, in discharge of his compact with +Clennam, revealed to him the whole of his gipsy story, and told him +Little Dorrit's fortune. Her father was heir-at-law to a great estate +that had long lain unknown of, unclaimed, and accumulating. His right +was now clear, nothing interposed in his way, the Marshalsea gates stood +open, the Marshalsea walls were down, a few flourishes of his pen, and +he was extremely rich. + +In his tracking out of the claim to its complete establishment, Mr +Pancks had shown a sagacity that nothing could baffle, and a patience +and secrecy that nothing could tire. 'I little thought, sir,' said +Pancks, 'when you and I crossed Smithfield that night, and I told you +what sort of a Collector I was, that this would come of it. I little +thought, sir, when I told you you were not of the Clennams of +Cornwall, that I was ever going to tell you who were of the Dorrits of +Dorsetshire.' He then went on to detail. How, having that name recorded +in his note-book, he was first attracted by the name alone. How, having +often found two exactly similar names, even belonging to the same place, +to involve no traceable consanguinity, near or distant, he did not at +first give much heed to this, except in the way of speculation as to +what a surprising change would be made in the condition of a little +seamstress, if she could be shown to have any interest in so large a +property. How he rather supposed himself to have pursued the idea into +its next degree, because there was something uncommon in the quiet +little seamstress, which pleased him and provoked his curiosity. +How he had felt his way inch by inch, and 'Moled it out, sir' (that was +Mr Pancks's expression), grain by grain. How, in the beginning of +the labour described by this new verb, and to render which the more +expressive Mr Pancks shut his eyes in pronouncing it and shook his hair +over them, he had alternated from sudden lights and hopes to sudden +darkness and no hopes, and back again, and back again. How he had made +acquaintances in the Prison, expressly that he might come and go there +as all other comers and goers did; and how his first ray of light was +unconsciously given him by Mr Dorrit himself and by his son; to both of +whom he easily became known; with both of whom he talked much, casually +('but always Moleing you'll observe,' said Mr Pancks): and from whom he +derived, without being at all suspected, two or three little points of +family history which, as he began to hold clues of his own, suggested +others. How it had at length become plain to Mr Pancks that he had made +a real discovery of the heir-at-law to a great fortune, and that his +discovery had but to be ripened to legal fulness and perfection. How +he had, thereupon, sworn his landlord, Mr Rugg, to secrecy in a solemn +manner, and taken him into Moleing partnership. How they had employed +John Chivery as their sole clerk and agent, seeing to whom he was +devoted. And how, until the present hour, when authorities mighty in the +Bank and learned in the law declared their successful labours ended, +they had confided in no other human being. + +'So if the whole thing had broken down, sir,' concluded Pancks, 'at the +very last, say the day before the other day when I showed you our papers +in the Prison yard, or say that very day, nobody but ourselves would +have been cruelly disappointed, or a penny the worse.' + +Clennam, who had been almost incessantly shaking hands with him +throughout the narrative, was reminded by this to say, in an amazement +which even the preparation he had had for the main disclosure smoothed +down, 'My dear Mr Pancks, this must have cost you a great sum of money.' + +'Pretty well, sir,' said the triumphant Pancks. 'No trifle, though we +did it as cheap as it could be done. And the outlay was a difficulty, +let me tell you.' + +'A difficulty!' repeated Clennam. 'But the difficulties you have so +wonderfully conquered in the whole business!' shaking his hand again. + +'I'll tell you how I did it,' said the delighted Pancks, putting his +hair into a condition as elevated as himself. 'First, I spent all I had +of my own. That wasn't much.' + +'I am sorry for it,' said Clennam: 'not that it matters now, though. +Then, what did you do?' + +'Then,' answered Pancks, 'I borrowed a sum of my proprietor.' + +'Of Mr Casby?' said Clennam. 'He's a fine old fellow.' + +'Noble old boy; an't he?' said Mr Pancks, entering on a series of the +dryest snorts. 'Generous old buck. Confiding old boy. Philanthropic old +buck. Benevolent old boy! Twenty per cent. I engaged to pay him, sir. +But we never do business for less at our shop.' + +Arthur felt an awkward consciousness of having, in his exultant +condition, been a little premature. + +'I said to that boiling-over old Christian,' Mr Pancks pursued, +appearing greatly to relish this descriptive epithet, 'that I had got a +little project on hand; a hopeful one; I told him a hopeful one; which +wanted a certain small capital. I proposed to him to lend me the +money on my note. Which he did, at twenty; sticking the twenty on in a +business-like way, and putting it into the note, to look like a part of +the principal. If I had broken down after that, I should have been his +grubber for the next seven years at half wages and double grind. But +he's a perfect Patriarch; and it would do a man good to serve him on +such terms--on any terms.' + +Arthur for his life could not have said with confidence whether Pancks +really thought so or not. + +'When that was gone, sir,' resumed Pancks, 'and it did go, though I +dribbled it out like so much blood, I had taken Mr Rugg into the secret. +I proposed to borrow of Mr Rugg (or of Miss Rugg; it's the same thing; +she made a little money by a speculation in the Common Pleas once). He +lent it at ten, and thought that pretty high. But Mr Rugg's a red-haired +man, sir, and gets his hair cut. And as to the crown of his hat, it's +high. And as to the brim of his hat, it's narrow. And there's no more +benevolence bubbling out of him, than out of a ninepin.' + +'Your own recompense for all this, Mr Pancks,' said Clennam, 'ought to +be a large one.' + +'I don't mistrust getting it, sir,' said Pancks. 'I have made no +bargain. I owed you one on that score; now I have paid it. Money out of +pocket made good, time fairly allowed for, and Mr Rugg's bill settled, +a thousand pounds would be a fortune to me. That matter I place in your +hands. I authorize you now to break all this to the family in any way +you think best. Miss Amy Dorrit will be with Mrs Finching this morning. +The sooner done the better. Can't be done too soon.' + +This conversation took place in Clennam's bed-room, while he was yet in +bed. For Mr Pancks had knocked up the house and made his way in, very +early in the morning; and, without once sitting down or standing still, +had delivered himself of the whole of his details (illustrated with a +variety of documents) at the bedside. He now said he would 'go and look +up Mr Rugg', from whom his excited state of mind appeared to require +another back; and bundling up his papers, and exchanging one more hearty +shake of the hand with Clennam, he went at full speed down-stairs, and +steamed off. + +Clennam, of course, resolved to go direct to Mr Casby's. He dressed +and got out so quickly that he found himself at the corner of the +patriarchal street nearly an hour before her time; but he was not sorry +to have the opportunity of calming himself with a leisurely walk. + +When he returned to the street, and had knocked at the bright brass +knocker, he was informed that she had come, and was shown up-stairs to +Flora's breakfast-room. Little Dorrit was not there herself, but Flora +was, and testified the greatest amazement at seeing him. + +'Good gracious, Arthur--Doyce and Clennam!' cried that lady, 'who would +have ever thought of seeing such a sight as this and pray excuse a +wrapper for upon my word I really never and a faded check too which +is worse but our little friend is making me, not that I need mind +mentioning it to you for you must know that there are such things a +skirt, and having arranged that a trying on should take place after +breakfast is the reason though I wish not so badly starched.' + +'I ought to make an apology,' said Arthur, 'for so early and abrupt a +visit; but you will excuse it when I tell you the cause.' + +'In times for ever fled Arthur,' returned Mrs Finching, 'pray excuse +me Doyce and Clennam infinitely more correct and though unquestionably +distant still 'tis distance lends enchantment to the view, at least I +don't mean that and if I did I suppose it would depend considerably on +the nature of the view, but I'm running on again and you put it all out +of my head.' + +She glanced at him tenderly, and resumed: + +'In times for ever fled I was going to say it would have sounded +strange indeed for Arthur Clennam--Doyce and Clennam naturally quite +different--to make apologies for coming here at any time, but that is +past and what is past can never be recalled except in his own case as +poor Mr F. said when he was in spirits Cucumber and therefore never ate +it.' + +She was making the tea when Arthur came in, and now hastily finished +that operation. + +'Papa,' she said, all mystery and whisper, as she shut down the tea-pot +lid, 'is sitting prosingly breaking his new laid egg in the back parlour +over the City article exactly like the Woodpecker Tapping and need never +know that you are here, and our little friend you are well aware may be +fully trusted when she comes down from cutting out on the large table +overhead.' + +Arthur then told her, in the fewest words, that it was their little +friend he came to see; and what he had to announce to their little +friend. At which astounding intelligence, Flora clasped her hands, +fell into a tremble, and shed tears of sympathy and pleasure, like the +good-natured creature she really was. + +'For gracious sake let me get out of the way first,' said Flora, putting +her hands to her ears and moving towards the door, 'or I know I shall +go off dead and screaming and make everybody worse, and the dear little +thing only this morning looking so nice and neat and good and yet so +poor and now a fortune is she really and deserves it too! and might I +mention it to Mr F.'s Aunt Arthur not Doyce and Clennam for this once or +if objectionable not on any account.' + +Arthur nodded his free permission, since Flora shut out all verbal +communication. Flora nodded in return to thank him, and hurried out of +the room. + +Little Dorrit's step was already on the stairs, and in another moment +she was at the door. Do what he could to compose his face, he could not +convey so much of an ordinary expression into it, but that the moment +she saw it she dropped her work, and cried, 'Mr Clennam! What's the +matter?' + +'Nothing, nothing. That is, no misfortune has happened. I have come +to tell you something, but it is a piece of great good-fortune.' + +'Good-fortune?' + +'Wonderful fortune!' + +They stood in a window, and her eyes, full of light, were fixed upon his +face. He put an arm about her, seeing her likely to sink down. She put +a hand upon that arm, partly to rest upon it, and partly so to preserve +their relative positions as that her intent look at him should be shaken +by no change of attitude in either of them. Her lips seemed to repeat +'Wonderful fortune?' He repeated it again, aloud. + +'Dear Little Dorrit! Your father.' + +The ice of the pale face broke at the word, and little lights and shoots +of expression passed all over it. They were all expressions of pain. Her +breath was faint and hurried. Her heart beat fast. He would have clasped +the little figure closer, but he saw that the eyes appealed to him not +to be moved. + +'Your father can be free within this week. He does not know it; we must +go to him from here, to tell him of it. Your father will be free within +a few days. Your father will be free within a few hours. Remember we +must go to him from here, to tell him of it!' + +That brought her back. Her eyes were closing, but they opened again. + +'This is not all the good-fortune. This is not all the wonderful +good-fortune, my dear Little Dorrit. Shall I tell you more?' + +Her lips shaped 'Yes.' + +'Your father will be no beggar when he is free. He will want for +nothing. Shall I tell you more? Remember! He knows nothing of it; we +must go to him, from here, to tell him of it!' + +She seemed to entreat him for a little time. He held her in his arm, +and, after a pause, bent down his ear to listen. + +'Did you ask me to go on?' + +'Yes.' + +'He will be a rich man. He is a rich man. A great sum of money +is waiting to be paid over to him as his inheritance; you are all +henceforth very wealthy. Bravest and best of children, I thank Heaven +that you are rewarded!' + +As he kissed her, she turned her head towards his shoulder, and raised +her arm towards his neck; cried out 'Father! Father! Father!' and +swooned away. + +Upon which Flora returned to take care of her, and hovered about her on +a sofa, intermingling kind offices and incoherent scraps of conversation +in a manner so confounding, that whether she pressed the Marshalsea to +take a spoonful of unclaimed dividends, for it would do her good; +or whether she congratulated Little Dorrit's father on coming into +possession of a hundred thousand smelling-bottles; or whether she +explained that she put seventy-five thousand drops of spirits of +lavender on fifty thousand pounds of lump sugar, and that she entreated +Little Dorrit to take that gentle restorative; or whether she bathed the +foreheads of Doyce and Clennam in vinegar, and gave the late Mr F. more +air; no one with any sense of responsibility could have undertaken to +decide. A tributary stream of confusion, moreover, poured in from an +adjoining bedroom, where Mr F.'s Aunt appeared, from the sound of her +voice, to be in a horizontal posture, awaiting her breakfast; and from +which bower that inexorable lady snapped off short taunts, whenever she +could get a hearing, as, 'Don't believe it's his doing!' and 'He needn't +take no credit to himself for it!' and 'It'll be long enough, I expect, +afore he'll give up any of his own money!' all designed to disparage +Clennam's share in the discovery, and to relieve those inveterate +feelings with which Mr F.'s Aunt regarded him. + +But Little Dorrit's solicitude to get to her father, and to carry the +joyful tidings to him, and not to leave him in his jail a moment with +this happiness in store for him and still unknown to him, did more for +her speedy restoration than all the skill and attention on earth could +have done. 'Come with me to my dear father. Pray come and tell my dear +father!' were the first words she said. Her father, her father. She +spoke of nothing but him, thought of nothing but him. Kneeling down and +pouring out her thankfulness with uplifted hands, her thanks were for +her father. + +Flora's tenderness was quite overcome by this, and she launched out +among the cups and saucers into a wonderful flow of tears and speech. + +'I declare,' she sobbed, 'I never was so cut up since your mama and my +papa not Doyce and Clennam for this once but give the precious little +thing a cup of tea and make her put it to her lips at least pray Arthur +do, not even Mr F.'s last illness for that was of another kind and gout +is not a child's affection though very painful for all parties and Mr +F. a martyr with his leg upon a rest and the wine trade in itself +inflammatory for they will do it more or less among themselves and who +can wonder, it seems like a dream I am sure to think of nothing at all +this morning and now Mines of money is it really, but you must know my +darling love because you never will be strong enough to tell him all +about it upon teaspoons, mightn't it be even best to try the directions +of my own medical man for though the flavour is anything but agreeable +still I force myself to do it as a prescription and find the benefit, +you'd rather not why no my dear I'd rather not but still I do it as a +duty, everybody will congratulate you some in earnest and some not and +many will congratulate you with all their hearts but none more so I +do assure you from the bottom of my own I do myself though sensible of +blundering and being stupid, and will be judged by Arthur not Doyce and +Clennam for this once so good-bye darling and God bless you and may you +be very happy and excuse the liberty, vowing that the dress shall never +be finished by anybody else but shall be laid by for a keepsake just +as it is and called Little Dorrit though why that strangest of +denominations at any time I never did myself and now I never shall!' + + + +Thus Flora, in taking leave of her favourite. Little Dorrit thanked her, +and embraced her, over and over again; and finally came out of the house +with Clennam, and took coach for the Marshalsea. + +It was a strangely unreal ride through the old squalid streets, with a +sensation of being raised out of them into an airy world of wealth +and grandeur. When Arthur told her that she would soon ride in her +own carriage through very different scenes, when all the familiar +experiences would have vanished away, she looked frightened. But when +he substituted her father for herself, and told her how he would ride in +his carriage, and how great and grand he would be, her tears of joy +and innocent pride fell fast. Seeing that the happiness her mind could +realise was all shining upon him, Arthur kept that single figure before +her; and so they rode brightly through the poor streets in the prison +neighbourhood to carry him the great news. + +When Mr Chivery, who was on duty, admitted them into the Lodge, he saw +something in their faces which filled him with astonishment. He stood +looking after them, when they hurried into the prison, as though he +perceived that they had come back accompanied by a ghost a-piece. Two or +three Collegians whom they passed, looked after them too, and presently +joining Mr Chivery, formed a little group on the Lodge steps, in the +midst of which there spontaneously originated a whisper that the Father +was going to get his discharge. Within a few minutes, it was heard in +the remotest room in the College. + +Little Dorrit opened the door from without, and they both entered. He +was sitting in his old grey gown and his old black cap, in the sunlight +by the window, reading his newspaper. His glasses were in his hand, and +he had just looked round; surprised at first, no doubt, by her step upon +the stairs, not expecting her until night; surprised again, by seeing +Arthur Clennam in her company. As they came in, the same unwonted look +in both of them which had already caught attention in the yard below, +struck him. He did not rise or speak, but laid down his glasses and his +newspaper on the table beside him, and looked at them with his mouth +a little open and his lips trembling. When Arthur put out his hand, +he touched it, but not with his usual state; and then he turned to his +daughter, who had sat down close beside him with her hands upon his +shoulder, and looked attentively in her face. + +'Father! I have been made so happy this morning!' + +'You have been made so happy, my dear?' + +'By Mr Clennam, father. He brought me such joyful and wonderful +intelligence about you! If he had not with his great kindness and +gentleness, prepared me for it, father--prepared me for it, father--I +think I could not have borne it.' + +Her agitation was exceedingly great, and the tears rolled down her face. +He put his hand suddenly to his heart, and looked at Clennam. + +'Compose yourself, sir,' said Clennam, 'and take a little time to think. +To think of the brightest and most fortunate accidents of life. We have +all heard of great surprises of joy. They are not at an end, sir. They +are rare, but not at an end.' + +'Mr Clennam? Not at an end? Not at an end for--' He touched himself upon +the breast, instead of saying 'me.' + +'No,' returned Clennam. + +'What surprise,' he asked, keeping his left hand over his heart, and +there stopping in his speech, while with his right hand he put his +glasses exactly level on the table: 'what such surprise can be in store +for me?' + +'Let me answer with another question. Tell me, Mr Dorrit, what surprise +would be the most unlooked for and the most acceptable to you. Do not be +afraid to imagine it, or to say what it would be.' + +He looked steadfastly at Clennam, and, so looking at him, seemed to +change into a very old haggard man. The sun was bright upon the wall +beyond the window, and on the spikes at top. He slowly stretched out the +hand that had been upon his heart, and pointed at the wall. + +'It is down,' said Clennam. 'Gone!' + +He remained in the same attitude, looking steadfastly at him. + +'And in its place,' said Clennam, slowly and distinctly, 'are the means +to possess and enjoy the utmost that they have so long shut out. Mr +Dorrit, there is not the smallest doubt that within a few days you will +be free, and highly prosperous. I congratulate you with all my soul on +this change of fortune, and on the happy future into which you are soon +to carry the treasure you have been blest with here--the best of all the +riches you can have elsewhere--the treasure at your side.' + +With those words, he pressed his hand and released it; and his daughter, +laying her face against his, encircled him in the hour of his prosperity +with her arms, as she had in the long years of his adversity encircled +him with her love and toil and truth; and poured out her full heart in +gratitude, hope, joy, blissful ecstasy, and all for him. + +'I shall see him as I never saw him yet. I shall see my dear love, with +the dark cloud cleared away. I shall see him, as my poor mother saw him +long ago. O my dear, my dear! O father, father! O thank God, thank God!' + +He yielded himself to her kisses and caresses, but did not return them, +except that he put an arm about her. Neither did he say one word. His +steadfast look was now divided between her and Clennam, and he began to +shake as if he were very cold. Explaining to Little Dorrit that he would +run to the coffee-house for a bottle of wine, Arthur fetched it with all +the haste he could use. While it was being brought from the cellar to +the bar, a number of excited people asked him what had happened; when he +hurriedly informed them that Mr Dorrit had succeeded to a fortune. + +On coming back with the wine in his hand, he found that she had placed +her father in his easy chair, and had loosened his shirt and neckcloth. +They filled a tumbler with wine, and held it to his lips. When he had +swallowed a little, he took the glass himself and emptied it. Soon +after that, he leaned back in his chair and cried, with his handkerchief +before his face. + +After this had lasted a while Clennam thought it a good season for +diverting his attention from the main surprise, by relating its details. +Slowly, therefore, and in a quiet tone of voice, he explained them as +best he could, and enlarged on the nature of Pancks's service. + +'He shall be--ha--he shall be handsomely recompensed, sir,' said +the Father, starting up and moving hurriedly about the room. 'Assure +yourself, Mr Clennam, that everybody concerned shall be--ha--shall +be nobly rewarded. No one, my dear sir, shall say that he has an +unsatisfied claim against me. I shall repay the--hum--the advances I +have had from you, sir, with peculiar pleasure. I beg to be informed at +your earliest convenience, what advances you have made my son.' + +He had no purpose in going about the room, but he was not still a +moment. + +'Everybody,' he said, 'shall be remembered. I will not go away from +here in anybody's debt. All the people who have been--ha--well behaved +towards myself and my family, shall be rewarded. Chivery shall be +rewarded. Young John shall be rewarded. I particularly wish, and intend, +to act munificently, Mr Clennam.' + +'Will you allow me,' said Arthur, laying his purse on the table, 'to +supply any present contingencies, Mr Dorrit? I thought it best to bring +a sum of money for the purpose.' + +'Thank you, sir, thank you. I accept with readiness, at the present +moment, what I could not an hour ago have conscientiously taken. I am +obliged to you for the temporary accommodation. Exceedingly temporary, +but well timed--well timed.' His hand had closed upon the money, and +he carried it about with him. 'Be so kind, sir, as to add the amount to +those former advances to which I have already referred; being careful, +if you please, not to omit advances made to my son. A mere verbal +statement of the gross amount is all I shall--ha--all I shall require.' + +His eye fell upon his daughter at this point, and he stopped for a +moment to kiss her, and to pat her head. + +'It will be necessary to find a milliner, my love, and to make a speedy +and complete change in your very plain dress. Something must be done +with Maggy too, who at present is--ha--barely respectable, barely +respectable. And your sister, Amy, and your brother. And _my_ brother, +your uncle--poor soul, I trust this will rouse him--messengers must be +despatched to fetch them. They must be informed of this. We must break +it to them cautiously, but they must be informed directly. We owe it +as a duty to them and to ourselves, from this moment, not to let +them--hum--not to let them do anything.' + +This was the first intimation he had ever given, that he was privy to +the fact that they did something for a livelihood. + +He was still jogging about the room, with the purse clutched in his +hand, when a great cheering arose in the yard. 'The news has spread +already,' said Clennam, looking down from the window. 'Will you show +yourself to them, Mr Dorrit? They are very earnest, and they evidently +wish it.' + +'I--hum--ha--I confess I could have desired, Amy my dear,' he said, +jogging about in a more feverish flutter than before, 'to have made some +change in my dress first, and to have bought a--hum--a watch and chain. +But if it must be done as it is, it--ha--it must be done. Fasten the +collar of my shirt, my dear. Mr Clennam, would you oblige me--hum--with +a blue neckcloth you will find in that drawer at your elbow. Button +my coat across at the chest, my love. It looks--ha--it looks broader, +buttoned.' + +With his trembling hand he pushed his grey hair up, and then, taking +Clennam and his daughter for supporters, appeared at the window leaning +on an arm of each. The Collegians cheered him very heartily, and he +kissed his hand to them with great urbanity and protection. When he +withdrew into the room again, he said 'Poor creatures!' in a tone of +much pity for their miserable condition. + +Little Dorrit was deeply anxious that he should lie down to compose +himself. On Arthur's speaking to her of his going to inform Pancks that +he might now appear as soon as he would, and pursue the joyful business +to its close, she entreated him in a whisper to stay with her until her +father should be quite calm and at rest. He needed no second entreaty; +and she prepared her father's bed, and begged him to lie down. For +another half-hour or more he would be persuaded to do nothing but +go about the room, discussing with himself the probabilities for and +against the Marshal's allowing the whole of the prisoners to go to the +windows of the official residence which commanded the street, to see +himself and family depart for ever in a carriage--which, he said, he +thought would be a Sight for them. But gradually he began to droop and +tire, and at last stretched himself upon the bed. + +She took her faithful place beside him, fanning him and cooling his +forehead; and he seemed to be falling asleep (always with the money in +his hand), when he unexpectedly sat up and said: + +'Mr Clennam, I beg your pardon. Am I to understand, my dear sir, that I +could--ha--could pass through the Lodge at this moment, and--hum--take a +walk?' + +'I think not, Mr Dorrit,' was the unwilling reply. 'There are certain +forms to be completed; and although your detention here is now in itself +a form, I fear it is one that for a little longer has to be observed +too.' + +At this he shed tears again. + +'It is but a few hours, sir,' Clennam cheerfully urged upon him. + +'A few hours, sir,' he returned in a sudden passion. 'You talk very +easily of hours, sir! How long do you suppose, sir, that an hour is to a +man who is choking for want of air?' + +It was his last demonstration for that time; as, after shedding some +more tears and querulously complaining that he couldn't breathe, he +slowly fell into a slumber. Clennam had abundant occupation for his +thoughts, as he sat in the quiet room watching the father on his bed, +and the daughter fanning his face. + +Little Dorrit had been thinking too. After softly putting his grey hair +aside, and touching his forehead with her lips, she looked towards +Arthur, who came nearer to her, and pursued in a low whisper the subject +of her thoughts. + +'Mr Clennam, will he pay all his debts before he leaves here?' + +'No doubt. All.' + +'All the debts for which he had been imprisoned here, all my life and +longer?' + +'No doubt.' + +There was something of uncertainty and remonstrance in her look; +something that was not all satisfaction. He wondered to detect it, and +said: + +'You are glad that he should do so?' + +'Are you?' asked Little Dorrit, wistfully. + +'Am I? Most heartily glad!' + +'Then I know I ought to be.' + +'And are you not?' + +'It seems to me hard,' said Little Dorrit, 'that he should have lost so +many years and suffered so much, and at last pay all the debts as well. +It seems to me hard that he should pay in life and money both.' + +'My dear child--' Clennam was beginning. + +'Yes, I know I am wrong,' she pleaded timidly, 'don't think any worse of +me; it has grown up with me here.' + +The prison, which could spoil so many things, had tainted Little +Dorrit's mind no more than this. Engendered as the confusion was, in +compassion for the poor prisoner, her father, it was the first speck +Clennam had ever seen, it was the last speck Clennam ever saw, of the +prison atmosphere upon her. + +He thought this, and forbore to say another word. With the thought, her +purity and goodness came before him in their brightest light. The little +spot made them the more beautiful. + +Worn out with her own emotions, and yielding to the silence of the room, +her hand slowly slackened and failed in its fanning movement, and her +head dropped down on the pillow at her father's side. Clennam rose +softly, opened and closed the door without a sound, and passed from the +prison, carrying the quiet with him into the turbulent streets. + + + + +CHAPTER 36. The Marshalsea becomes an Orphan + + +And now the day arrived when Mr Dorrit and his family were to leave the +prison for ever, and the stones of its much-trodden pavement were to +know them no more. + +The interval had been short, but he had greatly complained of its +length, and had been imperious with Mr Rugg touching the delay. He had +been high with Mr Rugg, and had threatened to employ some one else. He +had requested Mr Rugg not to presume upon the place in which he found +him, but to do his duty, sir, and to do it with promptitude. He had told +Mr Rugg that he knew what lawyers and agents were, and that he would not +submit to imposition. On that gentleman's humbly representing that +he exerted himself to the utmost, Miss Fanny was very short with him; +desiring to know what less he could do, when he had been told a dozen +times that money was no object, and expressing her suspicion that he +forgot whom he talked to. + +Towards the Marshal, who was a Marshal of many years' standing, and +with whom he had never had any previous difference, Mr Dorrit comported +himself with severity. That officer, on personally tendering his +congratulations, offered the free use of two rooms in his house for Mr +Dorrit's occupation until his departure. Mr Dorrit thanked him at the +moment, and replied that he would think of it; but the Marshal was no +sooner gone than he sat down and wrote him a cutting note, in which +he remarked that he had never on any former occasion had the honour of +receiving his congratulations (which was true, though indeed there had +not been anything particular to congratulate him upon), and that he +begged, on behalf of himself and family, to repudiate the Marshal's +offer, with all those thanks which its disinterested character and its +perfect independence of all worldly considerations demanded. + +Although his brother showed so dim a glimmering of interest in their +altered fortunes that it was very doubtful whether he understood them, +Mr Dorrit caused him to be measured for new raiment by the hosiers, +tailors, hatters, and bootmakers whom he called in for himself; and +ordered that his old clothes should be taken from him and burned. Miss +Fanny and Mr Tip required no direction in making an appearance of great +fashion and elegance; and the three passed this interval together at the +best hotel in the neighbourhood--though truly, as Miss Fanny said, the +best was very indifferent. In connection with that establishment, Mr +Tip hired a cabriolet, horse, and groom, a very neat turn out, which +was usually to be observed for two or three hours at a time gracing the +Borough High Street, outside the Marshalsea court-yard. A modest +little hired chariot and pair was also frequently to be seen there; +in alighting from and entering which vehicle, Miss Fanny fluttered the +Marshal's daughters by the display of inaccessible bonnets. + +A great deal of business was transacted in this short period. Among +other items, Messrs Peddle and Pool, solicitors, of Monument Yard, were +instructed by their client Edward Dorrit, Esquire, to address a letter +to Mr Arthur Clennam, enclosing the sum of twenty-four pounds nine +shillings and eightpence, being the amount of principal and interest +computed at the rate of five per cent. per annum, in which their +client believed himself to be indebted to Mr Clennam. In making this +communication and remittance, Messrs Peddle and Pool were further +instructed by their client to remind Mr Clennam that the favour of the +advance now repaid (including gate-fees) had not been asked of him, and +to inform him that it would not have been accepted if it had been openly +proffered in his name. With which they requested a stamped receipt, and +remained his obedient servants. A great deal of business had likewise to +be done, within the so-soon-to-be-orphaned Marshalsea, by Mr Dorrit +so long its Father, chiefly arising out of applications made to him +by Collegians for small sums of money. To these he responded with the +greatest liberality, and with no lack of formality; always first writing +to appoint a time at which the applicant might wait upon him in his +room, and then receiving him in the midst of a vast accumulation of +documents, and accompanying his donation (for he said in every such +case, 'it is a donation, not a loan') with a great deal of good counsel: +to the effect that he, the expiring Father of the Marshalsea, hoped to +be long remembered, as an example that a man might preserve his own and +the general respect even there. + +The Collegians were not envious. Besides that they had a personal and +traditional regard for a Collegian of so many years' standing, the event +was creditable to the College, and made it famous in the newspapers. +Perhaps more of them thought, too, than were quite aware of it, that the +thing might in the lottery of chances have happened to themselves, or +that something of the sort might yet happen to themselves some day or +other. They took it very well. A few were low at the thought of being +left behind, and being left poor; but even these did not grudge the +family their brilliant reverse. There might have been much more envy in +politer places. It seems probable that mediocrity of fortune would have +been disposed to be less magnanimous than the Collegians, who lived from +hand to mouth--from the pawnbroker's hand to the day's dinner. + +They got up an address to him, which they presented in a neat frame and +glass (though it was not afterwards displayed in the family mansion or +preserved among the family papers); and to which he returned a gracious +answer. In that document he assured them, in a Royal manner, that he +received the profession of their attachment with a full conviction +of its sincerity; and again generally exhorted them to follow his +example--which, at least in so far as coming into a great property was +concerned, there is no doubt they would have gladly imitated. He took +the same occasion of inviting them to a comprehensive entertainment, to +be given to the whole College in the yard, and at which he signified +he would have the honour of taking a parting glass to the health and +happiness of all those whom he was about to leave behind. + +He did not in person dine at this public repast (it took place at two in +the afternoon, and his dinners now came in from the hotel at six), but +his son was so good as to take the head of the principal table, and to +be very free and engaging. He himself went about among the company, and +took notice of individuals, and saw that the viands were of the quality +he had ordered, and that all were served. On the whole, he was like a +baron of the olden time in a rare good humour. At the conclusion of the +repast, he pledged his guests in a bumper of old Madeira; and told them +that he hoped they had enjoyed themselves, and what was more, that they +would enjoy themselves for the rest of the evening; that he wished them +well; and that he bade them welcome. His health being drunk with +acclamations, he was not so baronial after all but that in trying to +return thanks he broke down, in the manner of a mere serf with a heart +in his breast, and wept before them all. After this great success, which +he supposed to be a failure, he gave them 'Mr Chivery and his brother +officers;' whom he had beforehand presented with ten pounds each, and +who were all in attendance. Mr Chivery spoke to the toast, saying, What +you undertake to lock up, lock up; but remember that you are, in the +words of the fettered African, a man and a brother ever. The list of +toasts disposed of, Mr Dorrit urbanely went through the motions of +playing a game of skittles with the Collegian who was the next oldest +inhabitant to himself; and left the tenantry to their diversions. + +But all these occurrences preceded the final day. And now the day +arrived when he and his family were to leave the prison for ever, and +when the stones of its much-trodden pavement were to know them no more. + +Noon was the hour appointed for the departure. As it approached, there +was not a Collegian within doors, nor a turnkey absent. The latter class +of gentlemen appeared in their Sunday clothes, and the greater part of +the Collegians were brightened up as much as circumstances allowed. Two +or three flags were even displayed, and the children put on odds and +ends of ribbon. Mr Dorrit himself, at this trying time, preserved a +serious but graceful dignity. Much of his great attention was given to +his brother, as to whose bearing on the great occasion he felt anxious. + +'My dear Frederick,' said he, 'if you will give me your arm we will pass +among our friends together. I think it is right that we should go out +arm in arm, my dear Frederick.' + +'Hah!' said Frederick. 'Yes, yes, yes, yes.' + +'And if, my dear Frederick--if you could, without putting any great +constraint upon yourself, throw a little (pray excuse me, Frederick), a +little polish into your usual demeanour--' + +'William, William,' said the other, shaking his head, 'it's for you to +do all that. I don't know how. All forgotten, forgotten!' + +'But, my dear fellow,' returned William, 'for that very reason, if +for no other, you must positively try to rouse yourself. What you +have forgotten you must now begin to recall, my dear Frederick. Your +position--' + +'Eh?' said Frederick. + +'Your position, my dear Frederick.' + +'Mine?' He looked first at his own figure, and then at his brother's, +and then, drawing a long breath, cried, 'Hah, to be sure! Yes, yes, +yes.' + +'Your position, my dear Frederick, is now a fine one. Your position, as +my brother, is a very fine one. And I know that it belongs to your +conscientious nature to try to become worthy of it, my dear Frederick, +and to try to adorn it. To be no discredit to it, but to adorn it.' + +'William,' said the other weakly, and with a sigh, 'I will do anything +you wish, my brother, provided it lies in my power. Pray be so kind as +to recollect what a limited power mine is. What would you wish me to do +to-day, brother? Say what it is, only say what it is.' + +'My dearest Frederick, nothing. It is not worth troubling so good a +heart as yours with.' + +'Pray trouble it,' returned the other. 'It finds it no trouble, William, +to do anything it can for you.' + +William passed his hand across his eyes, and murmured with august +satisfaction, 'Blessings on your attachment, my poor dear fellow!' Then +he said aloud, 'Well, my dear Frederick, if you will only try, as we +walk out, to show that you are alive to the occasion--that you think +about it--' + +'What would you advise me to think about it?' returned his submissive +brother. + +'Oh! my dear Frederick, how can I answer you? I can only say what, in +leaving these good people, I think myself.' + +'That's it!' cried his brother. 'That will help me.' + +'I find that I think, my dear Frederick, and with mixed emotions in +which a softened compassion predominates, What will they do without me!' + +'True,' returned his brother. 'Yes, yes, yes, yes. I'll think that as we +go, What will they do without my brother! Poor things! What will they do +without him!' + +Twelve o'clock having just struck, and the carriage being reported ready +in the outer court-yard, the brothers proceeded down-stairs arm-in-arm. +Edward Dorrit, Esquire (once Tip), and his sister Fanny followed, +also arm-in-arm; Mr Plornish and Maggy, to whom had been entrusted the +removal of such of the family effects as were considered worth removing, +followed, bearing bundles and burdens to be packed in a cart. + +In the yard, were the Collegians and turnkeys. In the yard, were Mr +Pancks and Mr Rugg, come to see the last touch given to their work. +In the yard, was Young John making a new epitaph for himself, on +the occasion of his dying of a broken heart. In the yard, was the +Patriarchal Casby, looking so tremendously benevolent that many +enthusiastic Collegians grasped him fervently by the hand, and the wives +and female relatives of many more Collegians kissed his hand, nothing +doubting that he had done it all. In the yard, was the man with the +shadowy grievance respecting the Fund which the Marshal embezzled, who +had got up at five in the morning to complete the copying of a perfectly +unintelligible history of that transaction, which he had committed to Mr +Dorrit's care, as a document of the last importance, calculated to stun +the Government and effect the Marshal's downfall. In the yard, was the +insolvent whose utmost energies were always set on getting into debt, +who broke into prison with as much pains as other men have broken out +of it, and who was always being cleared and complimented; while the +insolvent at his elbow--a mere little, snivelling, striving tradesman, +half dead of anxious efforts to keep out of debt--found it a hard +matter, indeed, to get a Commissioner to release him with much reproof +and reproach. In the yard, was the man of many children and many +burdens, whose failure astonished everybody; in the yard, was the man of +no children and large resources, whose failure astonished nobody. There, +were the people who were always going out to-morrow, and always putting +it off; there, were the people who had come in yesterday, and who +were much more jealous and resentful of this freak of fortune than +the seasoned birds. There, were some who, in pure meanness of spirit, +cringed and bowed before the enriched Collegian and his family; there, +were others who did so really because their eyes, accustomed to the +gloom of their imprisonment and poverty, could not support the light of +such bright sunshine. There, were many whose shillings had gone into his +pocket to buy him meat and drink; but none who were now obtrusively Hail +fellow well met! with him, on the strength of that assistance. It was +rather to be remarked of the caged birds, that they were a little shy +of the bird about to be so grandly free, and that they had a tendency to +withdraw themselves towards the bars, and seem a little fluttered as he +passed. + +Through these spectators the little procession, headed by the two +brothers, moved slowly to the gate. Mr Dorrit, yielding to the vast +speculation how the poor creatures were to get on without him, was +great, and sad, but not absorbed. He patted children on the head +like Sir Roger de Coverley going to church, he spoke to people in the +background by their Christian names, he condescended to all present, and +seemed for their consolation to walk encircled by the legend in golden +characters, 'Be comforted, my people! Bear it!' + +At last three honest cheers announced that he had passed the gate, and +that the Marshalsea was an orphan. Before they had ceased to ring in the +echoes of the prison walls, the family had got into their carriage, and +the attendant had the steps in his hand. + +Then, and not before, 'Good Gracious!' cried Miss Fanny all at once, +'Where's Amy!' + +Her father had thought she was with her sister. Her sister had thought +she was 'somewhere or other.' They had all trusted to finding her, as +they had always done, quietly in the right place at the right moment. +This going away was perhaps the very first action of their joint lives +that they had got through without her. + +A minute might have been consumed in the ascertaining of these points, +when Miss Fanny, who, from her seat in the carriage, commanded the long +narrow passage leading to the Lodge, flushed indignantly. + +'Now I do say, Pa,' cried she, 'that this is disgraceful!' + +'What is disgraceful, Fanny?' + +'I do say,' she repeated, 'this is perfectly infamous! Really almost +enough, even at such a time as this, to make one wish one was dead! +Here is that child Amy, in her ugly old shabby dress, which she was so +obstinate about, Pa, which I over and over again begged and prayed her +to change, and which she over and over again objected to, and promised +to change to-day, saying she wished to wear it as long as ever she +remained in there with you--which was absolutely romantic nonsense of +the lowest kind--here is that child Amy disgracing us to the last moment +and at the last moment, by being carried out in that dress after all. +And by that Mr Clennam too!' + +The offence was proved, as she delivered the indictment. Clennam +appeared at the carriage-door, bearing the little insensible figure in +his arms. + +'She has been forgotten,' he said, in a tone of pity not free from +reproach. 'I ran up to her room (which Mr Chivery showed me) and found +the door open, and that she had fainted on the floor, dear child. +She appeared to have gone to change her dress, and to have sunk down +overpowered. It may have been the cheering, or it may have happened +sooner. Take care of this poor cold hand, Miss Dorrit. Don't let it +fall.' + +'Thank you, sir,' returned Miss Dorrit, bursting into tears. 'I believe +I know what to do, if you will give me leave. Dear Amy, open your eyes, +that's a love! Oh, Amy, Amy, I really am so vexed and ashamed! Do rouse +yourself, darling! Oh, why are they not driving on! Pray, Pa, do drive +on!' + +The attendant, getting between Clennam and the carriage-door, with a +sharp 'By your leave, sir!' bundled up the steps, and they drove away. + + + + + +BOOK THE SECOND: RICHES + + + + +CHAPTER 1. Fellow Travellers + + +In the autumn of the year, Darkness and Night were creeping up to the +highest ridges of the Alps. + +It was vintage time in the valleys on the Swiss side of the Pass of the +Great Saint Bernard, and along the banks of the Lake of Geneva. +The air there was charged with the scent of gathered grapes. Baskets, +troughs, and tubs of grapes stood in the dim village doorways, stopped +the steep and narrow village streets, and had been carrying all day +along the roads and lanes. Grapes, split and crushed under foot, lay +about everywhere. The child carried in a sling by the laden peasant +woman toiling home, was quieted with picked-up grapes; the idiot sunning +his big goitre under the leaves of the wooden chalet by the way to the +Waterfall, sat munching grapes; the breath of the cows and goats was +redolent of leaves and stalks of grapes; the company in every little +cabaret were eating, drinking, talking grapes. A pity that no ripe touch +of this generous abundance could be given to the thin, hard, stony wine, +which after all was made from the grapes! + +The air had been warm and transparent through the whole of the bright +day. Shining metal spires and church-roofs, distant and rarely seen, had +sparkled in the view; and the snowy mountain-tops had been so clear that +unaccustomed eyes, cancelling the intervening country, and slighting +their rugged heights for something fabulous, would have measured them as +within a few hours easy reach. Mountain-peaks of great celebrity in the +valleys, whence no trace of their existence was visible sometimes for +months together, had been since morning plain and near in the blue sky. +And now, when it was dark below, though they seemed solemnly to recede, +like spectres who were going to vanish, as the red dye of the sunset +faded out of them and left them coldly white, they were yet distinctly +defined in their loneliness above the mists and shadows. + +Seen from these solitudes, and from the Pass of the Great Saint Bernard, +which was one of them, the ascending Night came up the mountain like a +rising water. When it at last rose to the walls of the convent of the +Great Saint Bernard, it was as if that weather-beaten structure were +another Ark, and floated on the shadowy waves. + +Darkness, outstripping some visitors on mules, had risen thus to +the rough convent walls, when those travellers were yet climbing the +mountain. As the heat of the glowing day when they had stopped to drink +at the streams of melted ice and snow, was changed to the searching cold +of the frosty rarefied night air at a great height, so the fresh beauty +of the lower journey had yielded to barrenness and desolation. A craggy +track, up which the mules in single file scrambled and turned from +block to block, as though they were ascending the broken staircase of +a gigantic ruin, was their way now. No trees were to be seen, nor any +vegetable growth save a poor brown scrubby moss, freezing in the chinks +of rock. Blackened skeleton arms of wood by the wayside pointed upward +to the convent as if the ghosts of former travellers overwhelmed by the +snow haunted the scene of their distress. Icicle-hung caves and cellars +built for refuges from sudden storms, were like so many whispers of the +perils of the place; never-resting wreaths and mazes of mist wandered +about, hunted by a moaning wind; and snow, the besetting danger of the +mountain, against which all its defences were taken, drifted sharply +down. + +The file of mules, jaded by their day's work, turned and wound slowly +up the deep ascent; the foremost led by a guide on foot, in his +broad-brimmed hat and round jacket, carrying a mountain staff or two +upon his shoulder, with whom another guide conversed. There was no +speaking among the string of riders. The sharp cold, the fatigue of the +journey, and a new sensation of a catching in the breath, partly as if +they had just emerged from very clear crisp water, and partly as if they +had been sobbing, kept them silent. + +At length, a light on the summit of the rocky staircase gleamed through +the snow and mist. The guides called to the mules, the mules pricked up +their drooping heads, the travellers' tongues were loosened, and in a +sudden burst of slipping, climbing, jingling, clinking, and talking, +they arrived at the convent door. + +Other mules had arrived not long before, some with peasant riders and +some with goods, and had trodden the snow about the door into a pool +of mud. Riding-saddles and bridles, pack-saddles and strings of bells, +mules and men, lanterns, torches, sacks, provender, barrels, cheeses, +kegs of honey and butter, straw bundles and packages of many shapes, +were crowded confusedly together in this thawed quagmire and about the +steps. Up here in the clouds, everything was seen through cloud, and +seemed dissolving into cloud. The breath of the men was cloud, the +breath of the mules was cloud, the lights were encircled by cloud, +speakers close at hand were not seen for cloud, though their voices and +all other sounds were surprisingly clear. Of the cloudy line of mules +hastily tied to rings in the wall, one would bite another, or kick +another, and then the whole mist would be disturbed: with men diving +into it, and cries of men and beasts coming out of it, and no bystander +discerning what was wrong. In the midst of this, the great stable of the +convent, occupying the basement story and entered by the basement door, +outside which all the disorder was, poured forth its contribution of +cloud, as if the whole rugged edifice were filled with nothing else, +and would collapse as soon as it had emptied itself, leaving the snow to +fall upon the bare mountain summit. + +While all this noise and hurry were rife among the living travellers, +there, too, silently assembled in a grated house half-a-dozen paces +removed, with the same cloud enfolding them and the same snow flakes +drifting in upon them, were the dead travellers found upon the mountain. +The mother, storm-belated many winters ago, still standing in the corner +with her baby at her breast; the man who had frozen with his arm raised +to his mouth in fear or hunger, still pressing it with his dry lips +after years and years. An awful company, mysteriously come together! A +wild destiny for that mother to have foreseen! 'Surrounded by so many +and such companions upon whom I never looked, and never shall look, +I and my child will dwell together inseparable, on the Great Saint +Bernard, outlasting generations who will come to see us, and will never +know our name, or one word of our story but the end.' + +The living travellers thought little or nothing of the dead just then. +They thought much more of alighting at the convent door, and warming +themselves at the convent fire. Disengaged from the turmoil, which was +already calming down as the crowd of mules began to be bestowed in the +stable, they hurried shivering up the steps and into the building. There +was a smell within, coming up from the floor, of tethered beasts, like +the smell of a menagerie of wild animals. There were strong arched +galleries within, huge stone piers, great staircases, and thick walls +pierced with small sunken windows--fortifications against the mountain +storms, as if they had been human enemies. There were gloomy vaulted +sleeping-rooms within, intensely cold, but clean and hospitably prepared +for guests. Finally, there was a parlour for guests to sit in and sup +in, where a table was already laid, and where a blazing fire shone red +and high. + +In this room, after having had their quarters for the night allotted +to them by two young Fathers, the travellers presently drew round the +hearth. They were in three parties; of whom the first, as the most +numerous and important, was the slowest, and had been overtaken by +one of the others on the way up. It consisted of an elderly lady, two +grey-haired gentlemen, two young ladies, and their brother. These were +attended (not to mention four guides), by a courier, two footmen, and +two waiting-maids: which strong body of inconvenience was accommodated +elsewhere under the same roof. The party that had overtaken them, and +followed in their train, consisted of only three members: one lady and +two gentlemen. The third party, which had ascended from the valley +on the Italian side of the Pass, and had arrived first, were four in +number: a plethoric, hungry, and silent German tutor in spectacles, on +a tour with three young men, his pupils, all plethoric, hungry, and +silent, and all in spectacles. + +These three groups sat round the fire eyeing each other drily, and +waiting for supper. Only one among them, one of the gentlemen belonging +to the party of three, made advances towards conversation. Throwing out +his lines for the Chief of the important tribe, while addressing himself +to his own companions, he remarked, in a tone of voice which included +all the company if they chose to be included, that it had been a long +day, and that he felt for the ladies. That he feared one of the +young ladies was not a strong or accustomed traveller, and had been +over-fatigued two or three hours ago. That he had observed, from his +station in the rear, that she sat her mule as if she were exhausted. +That he had, twice or thrice afterwards, done himself the honour of +inquiring of one of the guides, when he fell behind, how the lady did. +That he had been enchanted to learn that she had recovered her spirits, +and that it had been but a passing discomfort. That he trusted (by this +time he had secured the eyes of the Chief, and addressed him) he might +be permitted to express his hope that she was now none the worse, and +that she would not regret having made the journey. + +'My daughter, I am obliged to you, sir,' returned the Chief, 'is quite +restored, and has been greatly interested.' + +'New to mountains, perhaps?' said the insinuating traveller. + +'New to--ha--to mountains,' said the Chief. + +'But you are familiar with them, sir?' the insinuating traveller +assumed. + +'I am--hum--tolerably familiar. Not of late years. Not of late years,' +replied the Chief, with a flourish of his hand. + +The insinuating traveller, acknowledging the flourish with an +inclination of his head, passed from the Chief to the second young lady, +who had not yet been referred to otherwise than as one of the ladies in +whose behalf he felt so sensitive an interest. + +He hoped she was not incommoded by the fatigues of the day. + +'Incommoded, certainly,' returned the young lady, 'but not tired.' + +The insinuating traveller complimented her on the justice of the +distinction. It was what he had meant to say. Every lady must doubtless +be incommoded by having to do with that proverbially unaccommodating +animal, the mule. + +'We have had, of course,' said the young lady, who was rather reserved +and haughty, 'to leave the carriages and fourgon at Martigny. And the +impossibility of bringing anything that one wants to this inaccessible +place, and the necessity of leaving every comfort behind, is not +convenient.' + +'A savage place indeed,' said the insinuating traveller. + +The elderly lady, who was a model of accurate dressing, and whose manner +was perfect, considered as a piece of machinery, here interposed a +remark in a low soft voice. + +'But, like other inconvenient places,' she observed, 'it must be seen. +As a place much spoken of, it is necessary to see it.' + +'O! I have not the least objection to seeing it, I assure you, Mrs +General,' returned the other, carelessly. + +'You, madam,' said the insinuating traveller, 'have visited this spot +before?' + +'Yes,' returned Mrs General. 'I have been here before. Let me +commend you, my dear,' to the former young lady, 'to shade your face +from the hot wood, after exposure to the mountain air and snow. You, +too, my dear,' to the other and younger lady, who immediately did so; +while the former merely said, 'Thank you, Mrs General, I am Perfectly +comfortable, and prefer remaining as I am.' + +The brother, who had left his chair to open a piano that stood in +the room, and who had whistled into it and shut it up again, now came +strolling back to the fire with his glass in his eye. He was dressed in +the very fullest and completest travelling trim. The world seemed hardly +large enough to yield him an amount of travel proportionate to his +equipment. + +'These fellows are an immense time with supper,' he drawled. 'I wonder +what they'll give us! Has anybody any idea?' + +'Not roast man, I believe,' replied the voice of the second gentleman of +the party of three. + +'I suppose not. What d'ye mean?' he inquired. + +'That, as you are not to be served for the general supper, perhaps you +will do us the favour of not cooking yourself at the general fire,' +returned the other. + +The young gentleman who was standing in an easy attitude on the hearth, +cocking his glass at the company, with his back to the blaze and his +coat tucked under his arms, something as if he were Of the Poultry +species and were trussed for roasting, lost countenance at this +reply; he seemed about to demand further explanation, when it was +discovered--through all eyes turning on the speaker--that the lady with +him, who was young and beautiful, had not heard what had passed through +having fainted with her head upon his shoulder. + +'I think,' said the gentleman in a subdued tone, 'I had best carry +her straight to her room. Will you call to some one to bring a light?' +addressing his companion, 'and to show the way? In this strange rambling +place I don't know that I could find it.' + +'Pray, let me call my maid,' cried the taller of the young ladies. + +'Pray, let me put this water to her lips,' said the shorter, who had not +spoken yet. + +Each doing what she suggested, there was no want of assistance. Indeed, +when the two maids came in (escorted by the courier, lest any one should +strike them dumb by addressing a foreign language to them on the road), +there was a prospect of too much assistance. Seeing this, and saying as +much in a few words to the slighter and younger of the two ladies, +the gentleman put his wife's arm over his shoulder, lifted her up, and +carried her away. + +His friend, being left alone with the other visitors, walked slowly up +and down the room without coming to the fire again, pulling his black +moustache in a contemplative manner, as if he felt himself committed +to the late retort. While the subject of it was breathing injury in a +corner, the Chief loftily addressed this gentleman. + +'Your friend, sir,' said he, 'is--ha--is a little impatient; and, in +his impatience, is not perhaps fully sensible of what he owes +to--hum--to--but we will waive that, we will waive that. Your friend is +a little impatient, sir.' + +'It may be so, sir,' returned the other. 'But having had the honour of +making that gentleman's acquaintance at the hotel at Geneva, where we +and much good company met some time ago, and having had the honour +of exchanging company and conversation with that gentleman on several +subsequent excursions, I can hear nothing--no, not even from one of your +appearance and station, sir--detrimental to that gentleman.' + +'You are in no danger, sir, of hearing any such thing from me. In +remarking that your friend has shown impatience, I say no such thing. I +make that remark, because it is not to be doubted that my son, being by +birth and by--ha--by education a--hum--a gentleman, would have readily +adapted himself to any obligingly expressed wish on the subject of the +fire being equally accessible to the whole of the present circle. Which, +in principle, I--ha--for all are--hum--equal on these occasions--I +consider right.' + +'Good,' was the reply. 'And there it ends! I am your son's obedient +servant. I beg your son to receive the assurance of my profound +consideration. And now, sir, I may admit, freely admit, that my friend +is sometimes of a sarcastic temper.' + +'The lady is your friend's wife, sir?' + +'The lady is my friend's wife, sir.' + +'She is very handsome.' + +'Sir, she is peerless. They are still in the first year of their +marriage. They are still partly on a marriage, and partly on an +artistic, tour.' + +'Your friend is an artist, sir?' + +The gentleman replied by kissing the fingers of his right hand, and +wafting the kiss the length of his arm towards Heaven. As who should +say, I devote him to the celestial Powers as an immortal artist! + +'But he is a man of family,' he added. 'His connections are of the best. +He is more than an artist: he is highly connected. He may, in effect, +have repudiated his connections, proudly, impatiently, sarcastically (I +make the concession of both words); but he has them. Sparks that have +been struck out during our intercourse have shown me this.' + +'Well! I hope,' said the lofty gentleman, with the air of finally +disposing of the subject, 'that the lady's indisposition may be only +temporary.' + +'Sir, I hope so.' + +'Mere fatigue, I dare say.' + +'Not altogether mere fatigue, sir, for her mule stumbled to-day, and +she fell from the saddle. She fell lightly, and was up again without +assistance, and rode from us laughing; but she complained towards +evening of a slight bruise in the side. She spoke of it more than once, +as we followed your party up the mountain.' + +The head of the large retinue, who was gracious but not familiar, +appeared by this time to think that he had condescended more than +enough. He said no more, and there was silence for some quarter of an +hour until supper appeared. + +With the supper came one of the young Fathers (there seemed to be no +old Fathers) to take the head of the table. It was like the supper of +an ordinary Swiss hotel, and good red wine grown by the convent in more +genial air was not wanting. The artist traveller calmly came and took +his place at table when the rest sat down, with no apparent sense upon +him of his late skirmish with the completely dressed traveller. + +'Pray,' he inquired of the host, over his soup, 'has your convent many +of its famous dogs now?' + +'Monsieur, it has three.' + +'I saw three in the gallery below. Doubtless the three in question.' + +The host, a slender, bright-eyed, dark young man of polite manners, +whose garment was a black gown with strips of white crossed over it like +braces, and who no more resembled the conventional breed of Saint +Bernard monks than he resembled the conventional breed of Saint Bernard +dogs, replied, doubtless those were the three in question. + +'And I think,' said the artist traveller, 'I have seen one of them +before.' + +It was possible. He was a dog sufficiently well known. Monsieur might +have easily seen him in the valley or somewhere on the lake, when he +(the dog) had gone down with one of the order to solicit aid for the +convent. + +'Which is done in its regular season of the year, I think?' + +Monsieur was right. + +'And never without a dog. The dog is very important.' + +Again Monsieur was right. The dog was very important. People were justly +interested in the dog. As one of the dogs celebrated everywhere, +Ma'amselle would observe. + +Ma'amselle was a little slow to observe it, as though she were not yet +well accustomed to the French tongue. Mrs General, however, observed it +for her. + +'Ask him if he has saved many lives?' said, in his native English, the +young man who had been put out of countenance. + +The host needed no translation of the question. He promptly replied in +French, 'No. Not this one.' + +'Why not?' the same gentleman asked. + +'Pardon,' returned the host composedly, 'give him the opportunity and +he will do it without doubt. For example, I am well convinced,' smiling +sedately, as he cut up the dish of veal to be handed round, on the young +man who had been put out of countenance, 'that if you, Monsieur, would +give him the opportunity, he would hasten with great ardour to fulfil +his duty.' + +The artist traveller laughed. The insinuating traveller (who evinced +a provident anxiety to get his full share of the supper), wiping some +drops of wine from his moustache with a piece of bread, joined the +conversation. + +'It is becoming late in the year, my Father,' said he, 'for +tourist-travellers, is it not?' + +'Yes, it is late. Yet two or three weeks, at most, and we shall be left +to the winter snows.' + +'And then,' said the insinuating traveller, 'for the scratching dogs and +the buried children, according to the pictures!' + +'Pardon,' said the host, not quite understanding the allusion. 'How, +then the scratching dogs and the buried children according to the +pictures?' + +The artist traveller struck in again before an answer could be given. + +'Don't you know,' he coldly inquired across the table of his companion, +'that none but smugglers come this way in the winter or can have any +possible business this way?' + +'Holy blue! No; never heard of it.' + +'So it is, I believe. And as they know the signs of the weather +tolerably well, they don't give much employment to the dogs--who have +consequently died out rather--though this house of entertainment is +conveniently situated for themselves. Their young families, I am told, +they usually leave at home. But it's a grand idea!' cried the artist +traveller, unexpectedly rising into a tone of enthusiasm. 'It's a +sublime idea. It's the finest idea in the world, and brings tears into +a man's eyes, by Jupiter!' He then went on eating his veal with great +composure. + +There was enough of mocking inconsistency at the bottom of this speech +to make it rather discordant, though the manner was refined and the +person well-favoured, and though the depreciatory part of it was so +skilfully thrown off as to be very difficult for one not perfectly +acquainted with the English language to understand, or, even +understanding, to take offence at: so simple and dispassionate was its +tone. After finishing his veal in the midst of silence, the speaker +again addressed his friend. + +'Look,' said he, in his former tone, 'at this gentleman our host, not +yet in the prime of life, who in so graceful a way and with such courtly +urbanity and modesty presides over us! Manners fit for a crown! Dine +with the Lord Mayor of London (if you can get an invitation) and observe +the contrast. This dear fellow, with the finest cut face I ever saw, a +face in perfect drawing, leaves some laborious life and comes up here +I don't know how many feet above the level of the sea, for no other +purpose on earth (except enjoying himself, I hope, in a capital +refectory) than to keep an hotel for idle poor devils like you and +me, and leave the bill to our consciences! Why, isn't it a beautiful +sacrifice? What do we want more to touch us? Because rescued people of +interesting appearance are not, for eight or nine months out of every +twelve, holding on here round the necks of the most sagacious of dogs +carrying wooden bottles, shall we disparage the place? No! Bless the +place. It's a great place, a glorious place!' + +The chest of the grey-haired gentleman who was the Chief of the +important party, had swelled as if with a protest against his being +numbered among poor devils. No sooner had the artist traveller ceased +speaking than he himself spoke with great dignity, as having it +incumbent on him to take the lead in most places, and having deserted +that duty for a little while. + +He weightily communicated his opinion to their host, that his life must +be a very dreary life here in the winter. + +The host allowed to Monsieur that it was a little monotonous. The air +was difficult to breathe for a length of time consecutively. The cold +was very severe. One needed youth and strength to bear it. However, +having them and the blessing of Heaven-- + +Yes, that was very good. 'But the confinement,' said the grey-haired +gentleman. + +There were many days, even in bad weather, when it was possible to +walk about outside. It was the custom to beat a little track, and take +exercise there. + +'But the space,' urged the grey-haired gentleman. 'So small. +So--ha--very limited.' + +Monsieur would recall to himself that there were the refuges to visit, +and that tracks had to be made to them also. + +Monsieur still urged, on the other hand, that the space was +so--ha--hum--so very contracted. More than that, it was always the same, +always the same. + +With a deprecating smile, the host gently raised and gently lowered his +shoulders. That was true, he remarked, but permit him to say that almost +all objects had their various points of view. Monsieur and he did not +see this poor life of his from the same point of view. Monsieur was not +used to confinement. + +'I--ha--yes, very true,' said the grey-haired gentleman. He seemed to +receive quite a shock from the force of the argument. + +Monsieur, as an English traveller, surrounded by all means of travelling +pleasantly; doubtless possessing fortune, carriages, and servants-- + +'Perfectly, perfectly. Without doubt,' said the gentleman. + +Monsieur could not easily place himself in the position of a person who +had not the power to choose, I will go here to-morrow, or there next +day; I will pass these barriers, I will enlarge those bounds. Monsieur +could not realise, perhaps, how the mind accommodated itself in such +things to the force of necessity. + +'It is true,' said Monsieur. 'We will--ha--not pursue the subject. +You are--hum--quite accurate, I have no doubt. We will say no more.' + +The supper having come to a close, he drew his chair away as he spoke, +and moved back to his former place by the fire. As it was very cold +at the greater part of the table, the other guests also resumed their +former seats by the fire, designing to toast themselves well before +going to bed. The host, when they rose from the table, bowed to all +present, wished them good night, and withdrew. But first the insinuating +traveller had asked him if they could have some wine made hot; and as +he had answered Yes, and had presently afterwards sent it in, that +traveller, seated in the centre of the group, and in the full heat of +the fire, was soon engaged in serving it out to the rest. + +At this time, the younger of the two young ladies, who had been silently +attentive in her dark corner (the fire-light was the chief light in the +sombre room, the lamp being smoky and dull) to what had been said of the +absent lady, glided out. She was at a loss which way to turn when she +had softly closed the door; but, after a little hesitation among the +sounding passages and the many ways, came to a room in a corner of the +main gallery, where the servants were at their supper. From these she +obtained a lamp, and a direction to the lady's room. + +It was up the great staircase on the story above. Here and there, the +bare white walls were broken by an iron grate, and she thought as she +went along that the place was something like a prison. The arched door +of the lady's room, or cell, was not quite shut. After knocking at it +two or three times without receiving an answer, she pushed it gently +open, and looked in. + +The lady lay with closed eyes on the outside of the bed, protected from +the cold by the blankets and wrappers with which she had been covered +when she revived from her fainting fit. A dull light placed in the deep +recess of the window, made little impression on the arched room. The +visitor timidly stepped to the bed, and said, in a soft whisper, 'Are +you better?' + +The lady had fallen into a slumber, and the whisper was too low to awake +her. Her visitor, standing quite still, looked at her attentively. + +'She is very pretty,' she said to herself. 'I never saw so beautiful a +face. O how unlike me!' + +It was a curious thing to say, but it had some hidden meaning, for it +filled her eyes with tears. + +'I know I must be right. I know he spoke of her that evening. I could +very easily be wrong on any other subject, but not on this, not on +this!' + +With a quiet and tender hand she put aside a straying fold of the +sleeper's hair, and then touched the hand that lay outside the covering. + +'I like to look at her,' she breathed to herself. 'I like to see what +has affected him so much.' + +She had not withdrawn her hand, when the sleeper opened her eyes and +started. + +'Pray don't be alarmed. I am only one of the travellers from +down-stairs. I came to ask if you were better, and if I could do +anything for you.' + +'I think you have already been so kind as to send your servants to my +assistance?' + +'No, not I; that was my sister. Are you better?' + +'Much better. It is only a slight bruise, and has been well looked to, +and is almost easy now. It made me giddy and faint in a moment. It had +hurt me before; but at last it overpowered me all at once.' + +'May I stay with you until some one comes? Would you like it?' + +'I should like it, for it is lonely here; but I am afraid you will feel +the cold too much.' + +'I don't mind cold. I am not delicate, if I look so.' She quickly moved +one of the two rough chairs to the bedside, and sat down. The other as +quickly moved a part of some travelling wrapper from herself, and drew +it over her, so that her arm, in keeping it about her, rested on her +shoulder. + +'You have so much the air of a kind nurse,' said the lady, smiling on +her, 'that you seem as if you had come to me from home.' + +'I am very glad of it.' + +'I was dreaming of home when I woke just now. Of my old home, I mean, +before I was married.' + +'And before you were so far away from it.' + +'I have been much farther away from it than this; but then I took +the best part of it with me, and missed nothing. I felt solitary as I +dropped asleep here, and, missing it a little, wandered back to it.' + +There was a sorrowfully affectionate and regretful sound in her voice, +which made her visitor refrain from looking at her for the moment. + +'It is a curious chance which at last brings us together, under this +covering in which you have wrapped me,' said the visitor after a +pause; 'for do you know, I think I have been looking for you some time.' + +'Looking for me?' + +'I believe I have a little note here, which I was to give to you +whenever I found you. This is it. Unless I greatly mistake, it is +addressed to you? Is it not?' + +The lady took it, and said yes, and read it. Her visitor watched her as +she did so. It was very short. She flushed a little as she put her lips +to her visitor's cheek, and pressed her hand. + +'The dear young friend to whom he presents me, may be a comfort to me +at some time, he says. She is truly a comfort to me the first time I see +her.' + +'Perhaps you don't,' said the visitor, hesitating--'perhaps you don't +know my story? Perhaps he never told you my story?' + +'No.' + +'Oh no, why should he! I have scarcely the right to tell it myself at +present, because I have been entreated not to do so. There is not much +in it, but it might account to you for my asking you not to say anything +about the letter here. You saw my family with me, perhaps? Some of +them--I only say this to you--are a little proud, a little prejudiced.' + +'You shall take it back again,' said the other; 'and then my husband is +sure not to see it. He might see it and speak of it, otherwise, by some +accident. Will you put it in your bosom again, to be certain?' + +She did so with great care. Her small, slight hand was still upon the +letter, when they heard some one in the gallery outside. + +'I promised,' said the visitor, rising, 'that I would write to him after +seeing you (I could hardly fail to see you sooner or later), and tell +him if you were well and happy. I had better say you were well and +happy.' + +'Yes, yes, yes! Say I was very well and very happy. And that I thanked +him affectionately, and would never forget him.' + +'I shall see you in the morning. After that we are sure to meet again +before very long. Good night!' + +'Good night. Thank you, thank you. Good night, my dear!' + +Both of them were hurried and fluttered as they exchanged this parting, +and as the visitor came out of the door. She had expected to meet the +lady's husband approaching it; but the person in the gallery was not +he: it was the traveller who had wiped the wine-drops from his moustache +with the piece of bread. When he heard the step behind him, he turned +round--for he was walking away in the dark. + +His politeness, which was extreme, would not allow of the young lady's +lighting herself down-stairs, or going down alone. He took her lamp, +held it so as to throw the best light on the stone steps, and followed +her all the way to the supper-room. She went down, not easily hiding how +much she was inclined to shrink and tremble; for the appearance of this +traveller was particularly disagreeable to her. She had sat in her quiet +corner before supper imagining what he would have been in the scenes and +places within her experience, until he inspired her with an aversion +that made him little less than terrific. + +He followed her down with his smiling politeness, followed her in, +and resumed his seat in the best place in the hearth. There with the +wood-fire, which was beginning to burn low, rising and falling upon him +in the dark room, he sat with his legs thrust out to warm, drinking the +hot wine down to the lees, with a monstrous shadow imitating him on the +wall and ceiling. + +The tired company had broken up, and all the rest were gone to bed +except the young lady's father, who dozed in his chair by the fire. +The traveller had been at the pains of going a long way up-stairs to his +sleeping-room to fetch his pocket-flask of brandy. He told them so, as +he poured its contents into what was left of the wine, and drank with a +new relish. + +'May I ask, sir, if you are on your way to Italy?' + +The grey-haired gentleman had roused himself, and was preparing to +withdraw. He answered in the affirmative. + +'I also!' said the traveller. 'I shall hope to have the honour +of offering my compliments in fairer scenes, and under softer +circumstances, than on this dismal mountain.' + +The gentleman bowed, distantly enough, and said he was obliged to him. + +'We poor gentlemen, sir,' said the traveller, pulling his moustache dry +with his hand, for he had dipped it in the wine and brandy; 'we poor +gentlemen do not travel like princes, but the courtesies and graces of +life are precious to us. To your health, sir!' + +'Sir, I thank you.' + +'To the health of your distinguished family--of the fair ladies, your +daughters!' + +'Sir, I thank you again, I wish you good night. My dear, are +our--ha--our people in attendance?' + +'They are close by, father.' + +'Permit me!' said the traveller, rising and holding the door open, as +the gentleman crossed the room towards it with his arm drawn through his +daughter's. 'Good repose! To the pleasure of seeing you once more! To +to-morrow!' + +As he kissed his hand, with his best manner and his daintiest smile, +the young lady drew a little nearer to her father, and passed him with a +dread of touching him. + +'Humph!' said the insinuating traveller, whose manner shrunk, and whose +voice dropped when he was left alone. 'If they all go to bed, why I must +go. They are in a devil of a hurry. One would think the night would be +long enough, in this freezing silence and solitude, if one went to bed +two hours hence.' + +Throwing back his head in emptying his glass, he cast his eyes upon the +travellers' book, which lay on the piano, open, with pens and ink beside +it, as if the night's names had been registered when he was absent. +Taking it in his hand, he read these entries. + + + William Dorrit, Esquire + Frederick Dorrit, Esquire + Edward Dorrit, Esquire + Miss Dorrit + Miss Amy Dorrit + Mrs General + and Suite. + From France to Italy. + + Mr and Mrs Henry Gowan. + From France to Italy. + + +To which he added, in a small complicated hand, ending with a long lean +flourish, not unlike a lasso thrown at all the rest of the names: + + + Blandois. Paris. + From France to Italy. + + +And then, with his nose coming down over his moustache and his moustache +going up and under his nose, repaired to his allotted cell. + + + + +CHAPTER 2. Mrs General + + +It is indispensable to present the accomplished lady who was of +sufficient importance in the suite of the Dorrit Family to have a line +to herself in the Travellers' Book. + +Mrs General was the daughter of a clerical dignitary in a cathedral +town, where she had led the fashion until she was as near forty-five as +a single lady can be. A stiff commissariat officer of sixty, famous as a +martinet, had then become enamoured of the gravity with which she drove +the proprieties four-in-hand through the cathedral town society, and +had solicited to be taken beside her on the box of the cool coach of +ceremony to which that team was harnessed. His proposal of marriage +being accepted by the lady, the commissary took his seat behind +the proprieties with great decorum, and Mrs General drove until the +commissary died. In the course of their united journey, they ran over +several people who came in the way of the proprieties; but always in a +high style and with composure. + +The commissary having been buried with all the decorations suitable to +the service (the whole team of proprieties were harnessed to his hearse, +and they all had feathers and black velvet housings with his coat of +arms in the corner), Mrs General began to inquire what quantity of dust +and ashes was deposited at the bankers'. It then transpired that the +commissary had so far stolen a march on Mrs General as to have bought +himself an annuity some years before his marriage, and to have reserved +that circumstance in mentioning, at the period of his proposal, that +his income was derived from the interest of his money. Mrs General +consequently found her means so much diminished, that, but for the +perfect regulation of her mind, she might have felt disposed to question +the accuracy of that portion of the late service which had declared that +the commissary could take nothing away with him. + +In this state of affairs it occurred to Mrs General, that she might +'form the mind,' and eke the manners of some young lady of distinction. +Or, that she might harness the proprieties to the carriage of some rich +young heiress or widow, and become at once the driver and guard of such +vehicle through the social mazes. Mrs General's communication of this +idea to her clerical and commissariat connection was so warmly applauded +that, but for the lady's undoubted merit, it might have appeared as +though they wanted to get rid of her. Testimonials representing Mrs +General as a prodigy of piety, learning, virtue, and gentility, were +lavishly contributed from influential quarters; and one venerable +archdeacon even shed tears in recording his testimony to her perfections +(described to him by persons on whom he could rely), though he had never +had the honour and moral gratification of setting eyes on Mrs General in +all his life. + +Thus delegated on her mission, as it were by Church and State, Mrs +General, who had always occupied high ground, felt in a condition to +keep it, and began by putting herself up at a very high figure. An +interval of some duration elapsed, in which there was no bid for Mrs +General. At length a county-widower, with a daughter of fourteen, opened +negotiations with the lady; and as it was a part either of the native +dignity or of the artificial policy of Mrs General (but certainly one +or the other) to comport herself as if she were much more sought than +seeking, the widower pursued Mrs General until he prevailed upon her to +form his daughter's mind and manners. + +The execution of this trust occupied Mrs General about seven years, in +the course of which time she made the tour of Europe, and saw most of +that extensive miscellany of objects which it is essential that all +persons of polite cultivation should see with other people's eyes, +and never with their own. When her charge was at length formed, the +marriage, not only of the young lady, but likewise of her father, the +widower, was resolved on. The widower then finding Mrs General both +inconvenient and expensive, became of a sudden almost as much affected +by her merits as the archdeacon had been, and circulated such praises +of her surpassing worth, in all quarters where he thought an opportunity +might arise of transferring the blessing to somebody else, that Mrs +General was a name more honourable than ever. + +The phoenix was to let, on this elevated perch, when Mr Dorrit, who +had lately succeeded to his property, mentioned to his bankers that he +wished to discover a lady, well-bred, accomplished, well connected, well +accustomed to good society, who was qualified at once to complete the +education of his daughters, and to be their matron or chaperon. Mr +Dorrit's bankers, as bankers of the county-widower, instantly said, 'Mrs +General.' + +Pursuing the light so fortunately hit upon, and finding the concurrent +testimony of the whole of Mrs General's acquaintance to be of the +pathetic nature already recorded, Mr Dorrit took the trouble of going +down to the county of the county-widower to see Mrs General, in whom he +found a lady of a quality superior to his highest expectations. + +'Might I be excused,' said Mr Dorrit, 'if I inquired--ha--what remune--' + +'Why, indeed,' returned Mrs General, stopping the word, 'it is a subject +on which I prefer to avoid entering. I have never entered on it with my +friends here; and I cannot overcome the delicacy, Mr Dorrit, with +which I have always regarded it. I am not, as I hope you are aware, a +governess--' + +'O dear no!' said Mr Dorrit. 'Pray, madam, do not imagine for a moment +that I think so.' He really blushed to be suspected of it. + +Mrs General gravely inclined her head. 'I cannot, therefore, put a price +upon services which it is a pleasure to me to render if I can render +them spontaneously, but which I could not render in mere return for any +consideration. Neither do I know how, or where, to find a case parallel +to my own. It is peculiar.' + +No doubt. But how then (Mr Dorrit not unnaturally hinted) could the +subject be approached? + +'I cannot object,' said Mrs General--'though even that is disagreeable +to me--to Mr Dorrit's inquiring, in confidence of my friends here, what +amount they have been accustomed, at quarterly intervals, to pay to my +credit at my bankers'.' + +Mr Dorrit bowed his acknowledgements. + +'Permit me to add,' said Mrs General, 'that beyond this, I can never +resume the topic. Also that I can accept no second or inferior position. +If the honour were proposed to me of becoming known to Mr Dorrit's +family--I think two daughters were mentioned?--' + +'Two daughters.' + +'I could only accept it on terms of perfect equality, as a companion, +protector, Mentor, and friend.' + +Mr Dorrit, in spite of his sense of his importance, felt as if it would +be quite a kindness in her to accept it on any conditions. He almost +said as much. + +'I think,' repeated Mrs General, 'two daughters were mentioned?' + +'Two daughters,' said Mr Dorrit again. + +'It would therefore,' said Mrs General, 'be necessary to add a third +more to the payment (whatever its amount may prove to be), which my +friends here have been accustomed to make to my bankers'.' + +Mr Dorrit lost no time in referring the delicate question to the +county-widower, and finding that he had been accustomed to pay three +hundred pounds a-year to the credit of Mrs General, arrived, without any +severe strain on his arithmetic, at the conclusion that he himself must +pay four. Mrs General being an article of that lustrous surface which +suggests that it is worth any money, he made a formal proposal to be +allowed to have the honour and pleasure of regarding her as a member of +his family. Mrs General conceded that high privilege, and here she was. + +In person, Mrs General, including her skirts which had much to do with +it, was of a dignified and imposing appearance; ample, rustling, gravely +voluminous; always upright behind the proprieties. She might have +been taken--had been taken--to the top of the Alps and the bottom of +Herculaneum, without disarranging a fold in her dress, or displacing +a pin. If her countenance and hair had rather a floury appearance, as +though from living in some transcendently genteel Mill, it was rather +because she was a chalky creation altogether, than because she mended +her complexion with violet powder, or had turned grey. If her eyes had +no expression, it was probably because they had nothing to express. If +she had few wrinkles, it was because her mind had never traced its name +or any other inscription on her face. A cool, waxy, blown-out woman, who +had never lighted well. + +Mrs General had no opinions. Her way of forming a mind was to prevent it +from forming opinions. She had a little circular set of mental grooves +or rails on which she started little trains of other people's opinions, +which never overtook one another, and never got anywhere. Even her +propriety could not dispute that there was impropriety in the world; but +Mrs General's way of getting rid of it was to put it out of sight, and +make believe that there was no such thing. This was another of her ways +of forming a mind--to cram all articles of difficulty into cupboards, +lock them up, and say they had no existence. It was the easiest way, +and, beyond all comparison, the properest. + +Mrs General was not to be told of anything shocking. Accidents, +miseries, and offences, were never to be mentioned before her. Passion +was to go to sleep in the presence of Mrs General, and blood was to +change to milk and water. The little that was left in the world, +when all these deductions were made, it was Mrs General's province to +varnish. In that formation process of hers, she dipped the smallest of +brushes into the largest of pots, and varnished the surface of every +object that came under consideration. The more cracked it was, the more +Mrs General varnished it. + +There was varnish in Mrs General's voice, varnish in Mrs General's +touch, an atmosphere of varnish round Mrs General's figure. Mrs +General's dreams ought to have been varnished--if she had any--lying +asleep in the arms of the good Saint Bernard, with the feathery snow +falling on his house-top. + + + + +CHAPTER 3. On the Road + + +The bright morning sun dazzled the eyes, the snow had ceased, the mists +had vanished, the mountain air was so clear and light that the +new sensation of breathing it was like the having entered on a new +existence. To help the delusion, the solid ground itself seemed gone, +and the mountain, a shining waste of immense white heaps and masses, to +be a region of cloud floating between the blue sky above and the earth +far below. + +Some dark specks in the snow, like knots upon a little thread, beginning +at the convent door and winding away down the descent in broken lengths +which were not yet pieced together, showed where the Brethren were at +work in several places clearing the track. Already the snow had begun to +be foot-thawed again about the door. Mules were busily brought out, tied +to the rings in the wall, and laden; strings of bells were buckled +on, burdens were adjusted, the voices of drivers and riders sounded +musically. Some of the earliest had even already resumed their journey; +and, both on the level summit by the dark water near the convent, and on +the downward way of yesterday's ascent, little moving figures of men and +mules, reduced to miniatures by the immensity around, went with a clear +tinkling of bells and a pleasant harmony of tongues. + +In the supper-room of last night, a new fire, piled upon the feathery +ashes of the old one, shone upon a homely breakfast of loaves, butter, +and milk. It also shone on the courier of the Dorrit family, making tea +for his party from a supply he had brought up with him, together with +several other small stores which were chiefly laid in for the use of the +strong body of inconvenience. Mr Gowan and Blandois of Paris had already +breakfasted, and were walking up and down by the lake, smoking their +cigars. + +'Gowan, eh?' muttered Tip, otherwise Edward Dorrit, Esquire, turning +over the leaves of the book, when the courier had left them to +breakfast. 'Then Gowan is the name of a puppy, that's all I have got to +say! If it was worth my while, I'd pull his nose. But it isn't worth my +while--fortunately for him. How's his wife, Amy? I suppose you know. +You generally know things of that sort.' + +'She is better, Edward. But they are not going to-day.' + +'Oh! They are not going to-day! Fortunately for that fellow too,' said +Tip, 'or he and I might have come into collision.' + +'It is thought better here that she should lie quiet to-day, and not be +fatigued and shaken by the ride down until to-morrow.' + +'With all my heart. But you talk as if you had been nursing her. You +haven't been relapsing into (Mrs General is not here) into old habits, +have you, Amy?' + +He asked her the question with a sly glance of observation at Miss +Fanny, and at his father too. + +'I have only been in to ask her if I could do anything for her, Tip,' +said Little Dorrit. + +'You needn't call me Tip, Amy child,' returned that young gentleman +with a frown; 'because that's an old habit, and one you may as well lay +aside.' + +'I didn't mean to say so, Edward dear. I forgot. It was so natural once, +that it seemed at the moment the right word.' + +'Oh yes!' Miss Fanny struck in. 'Natural, and right word, and once, and +all the rest of it! Nonsense, you little thing! I know perfectly well +why you have been taking such an interest in this Mrs Gowan. You can't +blind _me_.' + +'I will not try to, Fanny. Don't be angry.' + +'Oh! angry!' returned that young lady with a flounce. 'I have no +patience' (which indeed was the truth). + +'Pray, Fanny,' said Mr Dorrit, raising his eyebrows, 'what do you mean? +Explain yourself.' + +'Oh! Never mind, Pa,' replied Miss Fanny, 'it's no great matter. +Amy will understand me. She knew, or knew of, this Mrs Gowan before +yesterday, and she may as well admit that she did.' + +'My child,' said Mr Dorrit, turning to his younger daughter, 'has your +sister--any--ha--authority for this curious statement?' + +'However meek we are,' Miss Fanny struck in before she could answer, 'we +don't go creeping into people's rooms on the tops of cold mountains, +and sitting perishing in the frost with people, unless we know something +about them beforehand. It's not very hard to divine whose friend Mrs +Gowan is.' + +'Whose friend?' inquired her father. + +'Pa, I am sorry to say,' returned Miss Fanny, who had by this time +succeeded in goading herself into a state of much ill-usage and +grievance, which she was often at great pains to do: 'that I believe her +to be a friend of that very objectionable and unpleasant person, who, +with a total absence of all delicacy, which our experience might have +led us to expect from him, insulted us and outraged our feelings in +so public and wilful a manner on an occasion to which it is understood +among us that we will not more pointedly allude.' + +'Amy, my child,' said Mr Dorrit, tempering a bland severity with a +dignified affection, 'is this the case?' + +Little Dorrit mildly answered, yes it was. + +'Yes it is!' cried Miss Fanny. 'Of course! I said so! And now, Pa, I do +declare once for all'--this young lady was in the habit of declaring the +same thing once for all every day of her life, and even several times in +a day--'that this is shameful! I do declare once for all that it ought +to be put a stop to. Is it not enough that we have gone through what +is only known to ourselves, but are we to have it thrown in our faces, +perseveringly and systematically, by the very person who should spare +our feelings most? Are we to be exposed to this unnatural conduct every +moment of our lives? Are we never to be permitted to forget? I say +again, it is absolutely infamous!' + +'Well, Amy,' observed her brother, shaking his head, 'you know I stand +by you whenever I can, and on most occasions. But I must say, that, upon +my soul, I do consider it rather an unaccountable mode of showing your +sisterly affection, that you should back up a man who treated me in the +most ungentlemanly way in which one man can treat another. And who,' he +added convincingly, 'must be a low-minded thief, you know, or he never +could have conducted himself as he did.' + +'And see,' said Miss Fanny, 'see what is involved in this! Can we ever +hope to be respected by our servants? Never. Here are our two women, and +Pa's valet, and a footman, and a courier, and all sorts of dependents, +and yet in the midst of these, we are to have one of ourselves rushing +about with tumblers of cold water, like a menial! Why, a policeman,' +said Miss Fanny, 'if a beggar had a fit in the street, could but go +plunging about with tumblers, as this very Amy did in this very room +before our very eyes last night!' + +'I don't so much mind that, once in a way,' remarked Mr Edward; 'but +your Clennam, as he thinks proper to call himself, is another thing.' + +'He is part of the same thing,' returned Miss Fanny, 'and of a piece +with all the rest. He obtruded himself upon us in the first instance. +We never wanted him. I always showed him, for one, that I could +have dispensed with his company with the greatest pleasure. +He then commits that gross outrage upon our feelings, which he never +could or would have committed but for the delight he took in exposing +us; and then we are to be demeaned for the service of his friends! Why, +I don't wonder at this Mr Gowan's conduct towards you. What else was +to be expected when he was enjoying our past misfortunes--gloating over +them at the moment!' + +'Father--Edward--no indeed!' pleaded Little Dorrit. 'Neither Mr nor Mrs +Gowan had ever heard our name. They were, and they are, quite ignorant +of our history.' + +'So much the worse,' retorted Fanny, determined not to admit anything in +extenuation, 'for then you have no excuse. If they had known about us, +you might have felt yourself called upon to conciliate them. That would +have been a weak and ridiculous mistake, but I can respect a mistake, +whereas I can't respect a wilful and deliberate abasing of those who +should be nearest and dearest to us. No. I can't respect that. I can do +nothing but denounce that.' + +'I never offend you wilfully, Fanny,' said Little Dorrit, 'though you +are so hard with me.' + +'Then you should be more careful, Amy,' returned her sister. 'If you do +such things by accident, you should be more careful. If I happened to +have been born in a peculiar place, and under peculiar circumstances +that blunted my knowledge of propriety, I fancy I should think myself +bound to consider at every step, "Am I going, ignorantly, to compromise +any near and dear relations?" That is what I fancy _I_ should do, if it +was _my_ case.' + +Mr Dorrit now interposed, at once to stop these painful subjects by his +authority, and to point their moral by his wisdom. + +'My dear,' said he to his younger daughter, 'I beg you to--ha--to say +no more. Your sister Fanny expresses herself strongly, but not without +considerable reason. You have now a--hum--a great position to support. +That great position is not occupied by yourself alone, but by--ha--by +me, and--ha hum--by us. Us. Now, it is incumbent upon all people in an +exalted position, but it is particularly so on this family, for reasons +which I--ha--will not dwell upon, to make themselves respected. To be +vigilant in making themselves respected. Dependants, to respect us, must +be--ha--kept at a distance and--hum--kept down. Down. Therefore, your +not exposing yourself to the remarks of our attendants by appearing to +have at any time dispensed with their services and performed them for +yourself, is--ha--highly important.' + +'Why, who can doubt it?' cried Miss Fanny. 'It's the essence of +everything.' + +'Fanny,' returned her father, grandiloquently, 'give me leave, my dear. +We then come to--ha--to Mr Clennam. I am free to say that I do not, Amy, +share your sister's sentiments--that is to say altogether--hum-- +altogether--in reference to Mr Clennam. I am content to regard that +individual in the light of--ha--generally--a well-behaved person. Hum. +A well-behaved person. Nor will I inquire whether Mr Clennam did, at any +time, obtrude himself on--ha--my society. He knew my society to +be--hum--sought, and his plea might be that he regarded me in the light +of a public character. But there were circumstances attending +my--ha--slight knowledge of Mr Clennam (it was very slight), which,' +here Mr Dorrit became extremely grave and impressive, 'would render it +highly indelicate in Mr Clennam to--ha--to seek to renew communication +with me or with any member of my family under existing circumstances. +If Mr Clennam has sufficient delicacy to perceive the impropriety of +any such attempt, I am bound as a responsible gentleman to--ha--defer +to that delicacy on his part. If, on the other hand, Mr Clennam has not +that delicacy, I cannot for a moment--ha--hold any correspondence with +so--hum--coarse a mind. In either case, it would appear that Mr Clennam +is put altogether out of the question, and that we have nothing to do +with him or he with us. Ha--Mrs General!' + +The entrance of the lady whom he announced, to take her place at the +breakfast-table, terminated the discussion. Shortly afterwards, the +courier announced that the valet, and the footman, and the two maids, +and the four guides, and the fourteen mules, were in readiness; so the +breakfast party went out to the convent door to join the cavalcade. + +Mr Gowan stood aloof with his cigar and pencil, but Mr Blandois was on +the spot to pay his respects to the ladies. When he gallantly pulled +off his slouched hat to Little Dorrit, she thought he had even a more +sinister look, standing swart and cloaked in the snow, than he had +in the fire-light over-night. But, as both her father and her sister +received his homage with some favour, she refrained from expressing any +distrust of him, lest it should prove to be a new blemish derived from +her prison birth. + +Nevertheless, as they wound down the rugged way while the convent was +yet in sight, she more than once looked round, and descried Mr Blandois, +backed by the convent smoke which rose straight and high from the +chimneys in a golden film, always standing on one jutting point looking +down after them. Long after he was a mere black stick in the snow, she +felt as though she could yet see that smile of his, that high nose, and +those eyes that were too near it. And even after that, when the convent +was gone and some light morning clouds veiled the pass below it, the +ghastly skeleton arms by the wayside seemed to be all pointing up at +him. + +More treacherous than snow, perhaps, colder at heart, and harder to +melt, Blandois of Paris by degrees passed out of her mind, as they came +down into the softer regions. Again the sun was warm, again the streams +descending from glaciers and snowy caverns were refreshing to drink at, +again they came among the pine-trees, the rocky rivulets, the verdant +heights and dales, the wooden chalets and rough zigzag fences of Swiss +country. Sometimes the way so widened that she and her father could +ride abreast. And then to look at him, handsomely clothed in his fur and +broadcloths, rich, free, numerously served and attended, his eyes roving +far away among the glories of the landscape, no miserable screen before +them to darken his sight and cast its shadow on him, was enough. + +Her uncle was so far rescued from that shadow of old, that he wore the +clothes they gave him, and performed some ablutions as a sacrifice to +the family credit, and went where he was taken, with a certain patient +animal enjoyment, which seemed to express that the air and change did +him good. In all other respects, save one, he shone with no light but +such as was reflected from his brother. His brother's greatness, wealth, +freedom, and grandeur, pleased him without any reference to himself. +Silent and retiring, he had no use for speech when he could hear his +brother speak; no desire to be waited on, so that the servants devoted +themselves to his brother. The only noticeable change he originated in +himself, was an alteration in his manner to his younger niece. Every day +it refined more and more into a marked respect, very rarely shown by age +to youth, and still more rarely susceptible, one would have said, of the +fitness with which he invested it. On those occasions when Miss Fanny +did declare once for all, he would take the next opportunity of baring +his grey head before his younger niece, and of helping her to alight, +or handing her to the carriage, or showing her any other attention, with +the profoundest deference. Yet it never appeared misplaced or forced, +being always heartily simple, spontaneous, and genuine. Neither would he +ever consent, even at his brother's request, to be helped to any place +before her, or to take precedence of her in anything. So jealous was he +of her being respected, that, on this very journey down from the Great +Saint Bernard, he took sudden and violent umbrage at the footman's being +remiss to hold her stirrup, though standing near when she dismounted; +and unspeakably astonished the whole retinue by charging at him on a +hard-headed mule, riding him into a corner, and threatening to trample +him to death. + +They were a goodly company, and the Innkeepers all but worshipped them. +Wherever they went, their importance preceded them in the person of the +courier riding before, to see that the rooms of state were ready. He was +the herald of the family procession. The great travelling-carriage came +next: containing, inside, Mr Dorrit, Miss Dorrit, Miss Amy Dorrit, +and Mrs General; outside, some of the retainers, and (in fine weather) +Edward Dorrit, Esquire, for whom the box was reserved. Then came +the chariot containing Frederick Dorrit, Esquire, and an empty place +occupied by Edward Dorrit, Esquire, in wet weather. Then came the +fourgon with the rest of the retainers, the heavy baggage, and as much +as it could carry of the mud and dust which the other vehicles left +behind. + +These equipages adorned the yard of the hotel at Martigny, on the return +of the family from their mountain excursion. Other vehicles were there, +much company being on the road, from the patched Italian Vettura--like +the body of a swing from an English fair put upon a wooden tray on +wheels, and having another wooden tray without wheels put atop of it--to +the trim English carriage. But there was another adornment of the +hotel which Mr Dorrit had not bargained for. Two strange travellers +embellished one of his rooms. + +The Innkeeper, hat in hand in the yard, swore to the courier that he was +blighted, that he was desolated, that he was profoundly afflicted, that +he was the most miserable and unfortunate of beasts, that he had the +head of a wooden pig. He ought never to have made the concession, he +said, but the very genteel lady had so passionately prayed him for the +accommodation of that room to dine in, only for a little half-hour, that +he had been vanquished. The little half-hour was expired, the lady and +gentleman were taking their little dessert and half-cup of coffee, the +note was paid, the horses were ordered, they would depart immediately; +but, owing to an unhappy destiny and the curse of Heaven, they were not +yet gone. + +Nothing could exceed Mr Dorrit's indignation, as he turned at the foot +of the staircase on hearing these apologies. He felt that the family +dignity was struck at by an assassin's hand. He had a sense of his +dignity, which was of the most exquisite nature. He could detect a +design upon it when nobody else had any perception of the fact. His +life was made an agony by the number of fine scalpels that he felt to be +incessantly engaged in dissecting his dignity. + +'Is it possible, sir,' said Mr Dorrit, reddening excessively, 'that you +have--ha--had the audacity to place one of my rooms at the disposition +of any other person?' + +Thousands of pardons! It was the host's profound misfortune to have been +overcome by that too genteel lady. He besought Monseigneur not to enrage +himself. He threw himself on Monseigneur for clemency. If Monseigneur +would have the distinguished goodness to occupy the other salon +especially reserved for him, for but five minutes, all would go well. + +'No, sir,' said Mr Dorrit. 'I will not occupy any salon. I will leave +your house without eating or drinking, or setting foot in it. How do +you dare to act like this? Who am I that you--ha--separate me from other +gentlemen?' + +Alas! The host called all the universe to witness that Monseigneur was +the most amiable of the whole body of nobility, the most important, +the most estimable, the most honoured. If he separated Monseigneur from +others, it was only because he was more distinguished, more cherished, +more generous, more renowned. + +'Don't tell me so, sir,' returned Mr Dorrit, in a mighty heat. 'You have +affronted me. You have heaped insults upon me. How dare you? Explain +yourself.' + +Ah, just Heaven, then, how could the host explain himself when he had +nothing more to explain; when he had only to apologise, and confide +himself to the so well-known magnanimity of Monseigneur! + +'I tell you, sir,' said Mr Dorrit, panting with anger, 'that you +separate me--ha--from other gentlemen; that you make distinctions +between me and other gentlemen of fortune and station. I demand of you, +why? I wish to know on--ha--what authority, on whose authority. Reply +sir. Explain. Answer why.' + +Permit the landlord humbly to submit to Monsieur the Courier then, that +Monseigneur, ordinarily so gracious, enraged himself without cause. +There was no why. Monsieur the Courier would represent to Monseigneur, +that he deceived himself in suspecting that there was any why, but the +why his devoted servant had already had the honour to present to him. +The very genteel lady-- + +'Silence!' cried Mr Dorrit. 'Hold your tongue! I will hear no more +of the very genteel lady; I will hear no more of you. Look at this +family--my family--a family more genteel than any lady. You have treated +this family with disrespect; you have been insolent to this family. I'll +ruin you. Ha--send for the horses, pack the carriages, I'll not set foot +in this man's house again!' + +No one had interfered in the dispute, which was beyond the French +colloquial powers of Edward Dorrit, Esquire, and scarcely within the +province of the ladies. Miss Fanny, however, now supported her father +with great bitterness; declaring, in her native tongue, that it was +quite clear there was something special in this man's impertinence; +and that she considered it important that he should be, by some means, +forced to give up his authority for making distinctions between that +family and other wealthy families. What the reasons of his presumption +could be, she was at a loss to imagine; but reasons he must have, and +they ought to be torn from him. + +All the guides, mule-drivers, and idlers in the yard, had made +themselves parties to the angry conference, and were much impressed by +the courier's now bestirring himself to get the carriages out. With the +aid of some dozen people to each wheel, this was done at a great cost of +noise; and then the loading was proceeded with, pending the arrival of +the horses from the post-house. + +But the very genteel lady's English chariot being already horsed and at +the inn-door, the landlord had slipped up-stairs to represent his hard +case. This was notified to the yard by his now coming down the staircase +in attendance on the gentleman and the lady, and by his pointing out the +offended majesty of Mr Dorrit to them with a significant motion of his +hand. + +'Beg your pardon,' said the gentleman, detaching himself from the +lady, and coming forward. 'I am a man of few words and a bad hand at an +explanation--but lady here is extremely anxious that there should be no +Row. Lady--a mother of mine, in point of fact--wishes me to say that she +hopes no Row.' + +Mr Dorrit, still panting under his injury, saluted the gentleman, and +saluted the lady, in a distant, final, and invincible manner. + +'No, but really--here, old feller; you!' This was the gentleman's way of +appealing to Edward Dorrit, Esquire, on whom he pounced as a great and +providential relief. 'Let you and I try to make this all right. Lady so +very much wishes no Row.' + +Edward Dorrit, Esquire, led a little apart by the button, assumed a +diplomatic expression of countenance in replying, 'Why you must confess, +that when you bespeak a lot of rooms beforehand, and they belong to you, +it's not pleasant to find other people in 'em.' + +'No,' said the other, 'I know it isn't. I admit it. Still, let you and I +try to make it all right, and avoid Row. The fault is not this chap's +at all, but my mother's. Being a remarkably fine woman with no bigodd +nonsense about her--well educated, too--she was too many for this chap. +Regularly pocketed him.' + +'If that's the case--' Edward Dorrit, Esquire, began. + +'Assure you 'pon my soul 'tis the case. Consequently,' said the other +gentleman, retiring on his main position, 'why Row?' + +'Edmund,' said the lady from the doorway, 'I hope you have explained, +or are explaining, to the satisfaction of this gentleman and his family +that the civil landlord is not to blame?' + +'Assure you, ma'am,' returned Edmund, 'perfectly paralysing myself with +trying it on.' He then looked steadfastly at Edward Dorrit, Esquire, for +some seconds, and suddenly added, in a burst of confidence, 'Old feller! +_Is_ it all right?' + +'I don't know, after all,' said the lady, gracefully advancing a step or +two towards Mr Dorrit, 'but that I had better say myself, at once, +that I assured this good man I took all the consequences on myself of +occupying one of a stranger's suite of rooms during his absence, for +just as much (or as little) time as I could dine in. I had no idea the +rightful owner would come back so soon, nor had I any idea that he +had come back, or I should have hastened to make restoration of my +ill-gotten chamber, and to have offered my explanation and apology. I +trust in saying this--' + +For a moment the lady, with a glass at her eye, stood transfixed and +speechless before the two Miss Dorrits. At the same moment, Miss Fanny, +in the foreground of a grand pictorial composition, formed by the +family, the family equipages, and the family servants, held her sister +tight under one arm to detain her on the spot, and with the other arm +fanned herself with a distinguished air, and negligently surveyed the +lady from head to foot. + +The lady, recovering herself quickly--for it was Mrs Merdle and she was +not easily dashed--went on to add that she trusted in saying this, she +apologised for her boldness, and restored this well-behaved landlord to +the favour that was so very valuable to him. Mr Dorrit, on the altar of +whose dignity all this was incense, made a gracious reply; and said +that his people should--ha--countermand his horses, and he +would--hum--overlook what he had at first supposed to be an affront, +but now regarded as an honour. Upon this the bosom bent to him; and its +owner, with a wonderful command of feature, addressed a winning smile of +adieu to the two sisters, as young ladies of fortune in whose favour she +was much prepossessed, and whom she had never had the gratification of +seeing before. + +Not so, however, Mr Sparkler. This gentleman, becoming transfixed at +the same moment as his lady-mother, could not by any means unfix himself +again, but stood stiffly staring at the whole composition with Miss +Fanny in the Foreground. On his mother saying, 'Edmund, we are quite +ready; will you give me your arm?' he seemed, by the motion of his lips, +to reply with some remark comprehending the form of words in which his +shining talents found the most frequent utterance, but he relaxed no +muscle. So fixed was his figure, that it would have been matter of some +difficulty to bend him sufficiently to get him in the carriage-door, +if he had not received the timely assistance of a maternal pull from +within. He was no sooner within than the pad of the little window in the +back of the chariot disappeared, and his eye usurped its place. There +it remained as long as so small an object was discernible, and probably +much longer, staring (as though something inexpressibly surprising +should happen to a codfish) like an ill-executed eye in a large locket. + +This encounter was so highly agreeable to Miss Fanny, and gave her +so much to think of with triumph afterwards, that it softened her +asperities exceedingly. When the procession was again in motion next +day, she occupied her place in it with a new gaiety; and showed such a +flow of spirits indeed, that Mrs General looked rather surprised. + +Little Dorrit was glad to be found no fault with, and to see that Fanny +was pleased; but her part in the procession was a musing part, and a +quiet one. Sitting opposite her father in the travelling-carriage, and +recalling the old Marshalsea room, her present existence was a dream. +All that she saw was new and wonderful, but it was not real; it seemed +to her as if those visions of mountains and picturesque countries might +melt away at any moment, and the carriage, turning some abrupt corner, +bring up with a jolt at the old Marshalsea gate. + +To have no work to do was strange, but not half so strange as having +glided into a corner where she had no one to think for, nothing to plan +and contrive, no cares of others to load herself with. Strange as that +was, it was far stranger yet to find a space between herself and her +father, where others occupied themselves in taking care of him, and +where she was never expected to be. At first, this was so much more +unlike her old experience than even the mountains themselves, that she +had been unable to resign herself to it, and had tried to retain her +old place about him. But he had spoken to her alone, and had said that +people--ha--people in an exalted position, my dear, must scrupulously +exact respect from their dependents; and that for her, his daughter, +Miss Amy Dorrit, of the sole remaining branch of the Dorrits of +Dorsetshire, to be known to--hum--to occupy herself in fulfilling the +functions of--ha hum--a valet, would be incompatible with that respect. +Therefore, my dear, he--ha--he laid his parental injunctions upon +her, to remember that she was a lady, who had now to conduct herself +with--hum--a proper pride, and to preserve the rank of a lady; +and consequently he requested her to abstain from doing what would +occasion--ha--unpleasant and derogatory remarks. She had obeyed without +a murmur. Thus it had been brought about that she now sat in her corner +of the luxurious carriage with her little patient hands folded before +her, quite displaced even from the last point of the old standing ground +in life on which her feet had lingered. + +It was from this position that all she saw appeared unreal; the more +surprising the scenes, the more they resembled the unreality of her +own inner life as she went through its vacant places all day long. The +gorges of the Simplon, its enormous depths and thundering waterfalls, +the wonderful road, the points of danger where a loose wheel or a +faltering horse would have been destruction, the descent into Italy, the +opening of that beautiful land as the rugged mountain-chasm widened and +let them out from a gloomy and dark imprisonment--all a dream--only the +old mean Marshalsea a reality. Nay, even the old mean Marshalsea was +shaken to its foundations when she pictured it without her father. She +could scarcely believe that the prisoners were still lingering in the +close yard, that the mean rooms were still every one tenanted, and that +the turnkey still stood in the Lodge letting people in and out, all just +as she well knew it to be. + +With a remembrance of her father's old life in prison hanging about her +like the burden of a sorrowful tune, Little Dorrit would wake from a +dream of her birth-place into a whole day's dream. The painted room in +which she awoke, often a humbled state-chamber in a dilapidated palace, +would begin it; with its wild red autumnal vine-leaves overhanging the +glass, its orange-trees on the cracked white terrace outside the window, +a group of monks and peasants in the little street below, misery and +magnificence wrestling with each other upon every rood of ground in +the prospect, no matter how widely diversified, and misery throwing +magnificence with the strength of fate. To this would succeed a +labyrinth of bare passages and pillared galleries, with the family +procession already preparing in the quadrangle below, through the +carriages and luggage being brought together by the servants for the +day's journey. Then breakfast in another painted chamber, damp-stained +and of desolate proportions; and then the departure, which, to her +timidity and sense of not being grand enough for her place in the +ceremonies, was always an uneasy thing. For then the courier (who +himself would have been a foreign gentleman of high mark in the +Marshalsea) would present himself to report that all was ready; and then +her father's valet would pompously induct him into his travelling-cloak; +and then Fanny's maid, and her own maid (who was a weight on Little +Dorrit's mind--absolutely made her cry at first, she knew so little +what to do with her), would be in attendance; and then her brother's man +would complete his master's equipment; and then her father would give +his arm to Mrs General, and her uncle would give his to her, and, +escorted by the landlord and Inn servants, they would swoop down-stairs. +There, a crowd would be collected to see them enter their carriages, +which, amidst much bowing, and begging, and prancing, and lashing, and +clattering, they would do; and so they would be driven madly through +narrow unsavoury streets, and jerked out at the town gate. + +Among the day's unrealities would be roads where the bright red vines +were looped and garlanded together on trees for many miles; woods of +olives; white villages and towns on hill-sides, lovely without, but +frightful in their dirt and poverty within; crosses by the way; deep +blue lakes with fairy islands, and clustering boats with awnings of +bright colours and sails of beautiful forms; vast piles of building +mouldering to dust; hanging-gardens where the weeds had grown so strong +that their stems, like wedges driven home, had split the arch and rent +the wall; stone-terraced lanes, with the lizards running into and out +of every chink; beggars of all sorts everywhere: pitiful, picturesque, +hungry, merry; children beggars and aged beggars. Often at +posting-houses and other halting places, these miserable creatures would +appear to her the only realities of the day; and many a time, when the +money she had brought to give them was all given away, she would sit +with her folded hands, thoughtfully looking after some diminutive girl +leading her grey father, as if the sight reminded her of something in +the days that were gone. + +Again, there would be places where they stayed the week together in +splendid rooms, had banquets every day, rode out among heaps of wonders, +walked through miles of palaces, and rested in dark corners of great +churches; where there were winking lamps of gold and silver among +pillars and arches, kneeling figures dotted about at confessionals and +on the pavements; where there was the mist and scent of incense; where +there were pictures, fantastic images, gaudy altars, great heights and +distances, all softly lighted through stained glass, and the massive +curtains that hung in the doorways. From these cities they would go on +again, by the roads of vines and olives, through squalid villages, where +there was not a hovel without a gap in its filthy walls, not a window +with a whole inch of glass or paper; where there seemed to be nothing to +support life, nothing to eat, nothing to make, nothing to grow, nothing +to hope, nothing to do but die. + +Again they would come to whole towns of palaces, whose proper inmates +were all banished, and which were all changed into barracks: troops +of idle soldiers leaning out of the state windows, where their +accoutrements hung drying on the marble architecture, and showing to the +mind like hosts of rats who were (happily) eating away the props of the +edifices that supported them, and must soon, with them, be smashed on +the heads of the other swarms of soldiers and the swarms of priests, and +the swarms of spies, who were all the ill-looking population left to be +ruined, in the streets below. + +Through such scenes, the family procession moved on to Venice. And here +it dispersed for a time, as they were to live in Venice some few months +in a palace (itself six times as big as the whole Marshalsea) on the +Grand Canal. + +In this crowning unreality, where all the streets were paved with water, +and where the deathlike stillness of the days and nights was broken by +no sound but the softened ringing of church-bells, the rippling of +the current, and the cry of the gondoliers turning the corners of the +flowing streets, Little Dorrit, quite lost by her task being done, sat +down to muse. The family began a gay life, went here and there, and +turned night into day; but she was timid of joining in their gaieties, +and only asked leave to be left alone. + +Sometimes she would step into one of the gondolas that were always kept +in waiting, moored to painted posts at the door--when she could escape +from the attendance of that oppressive maid, who was her mistress, and +a very hard one--and would be taken all over the strange city. Social +people in other gondolas began to ask each other who the little solitary +girl was whom they passed, sitting in her boat with folded hands, +looking so pensively and wonderingly about her. Never thinking that +it would be worth anybody's while to notice her or her doings, Little +Dorrit, in her quiet, scared, lost manner, went about the city none the +less. + +But her favourite station was the balcony of her own room, overhanging +the canal, with other balconies below, and none above. It was of massive +stone darkened by ages, built in a wild fancy which came from the East +to that collection of wild fancies; and Little Dorrit was little indeed, +leaning on the broad-cushioned ledge, and looking over. As she liked no +place of an evening half so well, she soon began to be watched for, and +many eyes in passing gondolas were raised, and many people said, There +was the little figure of the English girl who was always alone. + +Such people were not realities to the little figure of the English girl; +such people were all unknown to her. She would watch the sunset, in its +long low lines of purple and red, and its burning flush high up into +the sky: so glowing on the buildings, and so lightening their structure, +that it made them look as if their strong walls were transparent, and +they shone from within. She would watch those glories expire; and then, +after looking at the black gondolas underneath, taking guests to music +and dancing, would raise her eyes to the shining stars. Was there no +party of her own, in other times, on which the stars had shone? To think +of that old gate now! + +She would think of that old gate, and of herself sitting at it in the +dead of the night, pillowing Maggy's head; and of other places and of +other scenes associated with those different times. And then she would +lean upon her balcony, and look over at the water, as though they all +lay underneath it. When she got to that, she would musingly watch its +running, as if, in the general vision, it might run dry, and show her +the prison again, and herself, and the old room, and the old inmates, +and the old visitors: all lasting realities that had never changed. + + + + +CHAPTER 4. A Letter from Little Dorrit + + +Dear Mr Clennam, + +I write to you from my own room at Venice, thinking you will be glad to +hear from me. But I know you cannot be so glad to hear from me as I am +to write to you; for everything about you is as you have been accustomed +to see it, and you miss nothing--unless it should be me, which can only +be for a very little while together and very seldom--while everything in +my life is so strange, and I miss so much. + +When we were in Switzerland, which appears to have been years ago, +though it was only weeks, I met young Mrs Gowan, who was on a mountain +excursion like ourselves. She told me she was very well and very happy. +She sent you the message, by me, that she thanked you affectionately and +would never forget you. She was quite confiding with me, and I loved her +almost as soon as I spoke to her. But there is nothing singular in that; +who could help loving so beautiful and winning a creature! I could not +wonder at any one loving her. No indeed. + +It will not make you uneasy on Mrs Gowan's account, I hope--for I +remember that you said you had the interest of a true friend in her--if +I tell you that I wish she could have married some one better suited to +her. Mr Gowan seems fond of her, and of course she is very fond of him, +but I thought he was not earnest enough--I don't mean in that respect--I +mean in anything. I could not keep it out of my mind that if I was Mrs +Gowan (what a change that would be, and how I must alter to become like +her!) I should feel that I was rather lonely and lost, for the want of +some one who was steadfast and firm in purpose. I even thought she felt +this want a little, almost without knowing it. But mind you are not made +uneasy by this, for she was 'very well and very happy.' And she looked +most beautiful. + +I expect to meet her again before long, and indeed have been expecting +for some days past to see her here. I will ever be as good a friend to +her as I can for your sake. Dear Mr Clennam, I dare say you think little +of having been a friend to me when I had no other (not that I have any +other now, for I have made no new friends), but I think much of it, and +I never can forget it. + +I wish I knew--but it is best for no one to write to me--how Mr and Mrs +Plornish prosper in the business which my dear father bought for them, +and that old Mr Nandy lives happily with them and his two grandchildren, +and sings all his songs over and over again. I cannot quite keep back +the tears from my eyes when I think of my poor Maggy, and of the blank +she must have felt at first, however kind they all are to her, without +her Little Mother. Will you go and tell her, as a strict secret, with my +love, that she never can have regretted our separation more than I have +regretted it? And will you tell them all that I have thought of them +every day, and that my heart is faithful to them everywhere? O, if you +could know how faithful, you would almost pity me for being so far away +and being so grand! + +You will be glad, I am sure, to know that my dear father is very well +in health, and that all these changes are highly beneficial to him, and +that he is very different indeed from what he used to be when you used +to see him. There is an improvement in my uncle too, I think, though he +never complained of old, and never exults now. Fanny is very graceful, +quick, and clever. It is natural to her to be a lady; she has adapted +herself to our new fortunes with wonderful ease. + +This reminds me that I have not been able to do so, and that I sometimes +almost despair of ever being able to do so. I find that I cannot learn. +Mrs General is always with us, and we speak French and speak Italian, +and she takes pains to form us in many ways. When I say we speak French +and Italian, I mean they do. As for me, I am so slow that I scarcely +get on at all. As soon as I begin to plan, and think, and try, all my +planning, thinking, and trying go in old directions, and I begin to feel +careful again about the expenses of the day, and about my dear father, +and about my work, and then I remember with a start that there are no +such cares left, and that in itself is so new and improbable that it +sets me wandering again. I should not have the courage to mention this +to any one but you. + +It is the same with all these new countries and wonderful sights. +They are very beautiful, and they astonish me, but I am not collected +enough--not familiar enough with myself, if you can quite understand +what I mean--to have all the pleasure in them that I might have. What +I knew before them, blends with them, too, so curiously. For instance, +when we were among the mountains, I often felt (I hesitate to tell such +an idle thing, dear Mr Clennam, even to you) as if the Marshalsea must +be behind that great rock; or as if Mrs Clennam's room where I have +worked so many days, and where I first saw you, must be just beyond that +snow. Do you remember one night when I came with Maggy to your lodging +in Covent Garden? That room I have often and often fancied I have seen +before me, travelling along for miles by the side of our carriage, when +I have looked out of the carriage-window after dark. We were shut out +that night, and sat at the iron gate, and walked about till morning. +I often look up at the stars, even from the balcony of this room, and +believe that I am in the street again, shut out with Maggy. It is the +same with people that I left in England. + +When I go about here in a gondola, I surprise myself looking into other +gondolas as if I hoped to see them. It would overcome me with joy to +see them, but I don't think it would surprise me much, at first. In my +fanciful times, I fancy that they might be anywhere; and I almost expect +to see their dear faces on the bridges or the quays. + +Another difficulty that I have will seem very strange to you. It must +seem very strange to any one but me, and does even to me: I often feel +the old sad pity for--I need not write the word--for him. Changed as he +is, and inexpressibly blest and thankful as I always am to know it, the +old sorrowful feeling of compassion comes upon me sometimes with such +strength that I want to put my arms round his neck, tell him how I love +him, and cry a little on his breast. I should be glad after that, and +proud and happy. But I know that I must not do this; that he would not +like it, that Fanny would be angry, that Mrs General would be amazed; +and so I quiet myself. Yet in doing so, I struggle with the feeling that +I have come to be at a distance from him; and that even in the midst of +all the servants and attendants, he is deserted, and in want of me. + +Dear Mr Clennam, I have written a great deal about myself, but I must +write a little more still, or what I wanted most of all to say in this +weak letter would be left out of it. In all these foolish thoughts of +mine, which I have been so hardy as to confess to you because I know you +will understand me if anybody can, and will make more allowance for me +than anybody else would if you cannot--in all these thoughts, there is +one thought scarcely ever--never--out of my memory, and that is that +I hope you sometimes, in a quiet moment, have a thought for me. I must +tell you that as to this, I have felt, ever since I have been away, an +anxiety which I am very anxious to relieve. I have been afraid that you +may think of me in a new light, or a new character. Don't do that, I +could not bear that--it would make me more unhappy than you can suppose. +It would break my heart to believe that you thought of me in any way +that would make me stranger to you than I was when you were so good to +me. What I have to pray and entreat of you is, that you will never think +of me as the daughter of a rich person; that you will never think of me +as dressing any better, or living any better, than when you first +knew me. That you will remember me only as the little shabby girl you +protected with so much tenderness, from whose threadbare dress you have +kept away the rain, and whose wet feet you have dried at your fire. +That you will think of me (when you think of me at all), and of my true +affection and devoted gratitude, always without change, as of + + + Your poor child, + + LITTLE DORRIT. + + +P.S.--Particularly remember that you are not to be uneasy about Mrs +Gowan. Her words were, 'Very well and very happy.' And she looked most +beautiful. + + + + +CHAPTER 5. Something Wrong Somewhere + + +The family had been a month or two at Venice, when Mr Dorrit, who was +much among Counts and Marquises, and had but scant leisure, set an hour +of one day apart, beforehand, for the purpose of holding some conference +with Mrs General. + +The time he had reserved in his mind arriving, he sent Mr Tinkler, his +valet, to Mrs General's apartment (which would have absorbed about a +third of the area of the Marshalsea), to present his compliments to that +lady, and represent him as desiring the favour of an interview. It being +that period of the forenoon when the various members of the family had +coffee in their own chambers, some couple of hours before assembling at +breakfast in a faded hall which had once been sumptuous, but was now +the prey of watery vapours and a settled melancholy, Mrs General was +accessible to the valet. That envoy found her on a little square of +carpet, so extremely diminutive in reference to the size of her stone +and marble floor that she looked as if she might have had it spread for +the trying on of a ready-made pair of shoes; or as if she had come into +possession of the enchanted piece of carpet, bought for forty purses by +one of the three princes in the Arabian Nights, and had that moment been +transported on it, at a wish, into a palatial saloon with which it had +no connection. + +Mrs General, replying to the envoy, as she set down her empty +coffee-cup, that she was willing at once to proceed to Mr Dorrit's +apartment, and spare him the trouble of coming to her (which, in his +gallantry, he had proposed), the envoy threw open the door, and +escorted Mrs General to the presence. It was quite a walk, by mysterious +staircases and corridors, from Mrs General's apartment,--hoodwinked by +a narrow side street with a low gloomy bridge in it, and dungeon-like +opposite tenements, their walls besmeared with a thousand downward +stains and streaks, as if every crazy aperture in them had been weeping +tears of rust into the Adriatic for centuries--to Mr Dorrit's apartment: +with a whole English house-front of window, a prospect of beautiful +church-domes rising into the blue sky sheer out of the water which +reflected them, and a hushed murmur of the Grand Canal laving the +doorways below, where his gondolas and gondoliers attended his pleasure, +drowsily swinging in a little forest of piles. + +Mr Dorrit, in a resplendent dressing-gown and cap--the dormant grub that +had so long bided its time among the Collegians had burst into a rare +butterfly--rose to receive Mrs General. A chair to Mrs General. An +easier chair, sir; what are you doing, what are you about, what do you +mean? Now, leave us! + +'Mrs General,' said Mr Dorrit, 'I took the liberty--' + +'By no means,' Mrs General interposed. 'I was quite at your disposition. +I had had my coffee.' + +'--I took the liberty,' said Mr Dorrit again, with the magnificent +placidity of one who was above correction, 'to solicit the favour of +a little private conversation with you, because I feel rather worried +respecting my--ha--my younger daughter. You will have observed a great +difference of temperament, madam, between my two daughters?' + +Said Mrs General in response, crossing her gloved hands (she was never +without gloves, and they never creased and always fitted), 'There is a +great difference.' + +'May I ask to be favoured with your view of it?' said Mr Dorrit, with a +deference not incompatible with majestic serenity. + +'Fanny,' returned Mrs General, 'has force of character and +self-reliance. Amy, none.' + +None? O Mrs General, ask the Marshalsea stones and bars. O Mrs General, +ask the milliner who taught her to work, and the dancing-master who +taught her sister to dance. O Mrs General, Mrs General, ask me, her +father, what I owe her; and hear my testimony touching the life of this +slighted little creature from her childhood up! + +No such adjuration entered Mr. Dorrit's head. He looked at Mrs +General, seated in her usual erect attitude on her coach-box behind the +proprieties, and he said in a thoughtful manner, 'True, madam.' + +'I would not,' said Mrs General, 'be understood to say, observe, +that there is nothing to improve in Fanny. But there is material +there--perhaps, indeed, a little too much.' + +'Will you be kind enough, madam,' said Mr Dorrit, 'to be--ha--more +explicit? I do not quite understand my elder daughter's having--hum--too +much material. What material?' + +'Fanny,' returned Mrs General, 'at present forms too many opinions. +Perfect breeding forms none, and is never demonstrative.' + +Lest he himself should be found deficient in perfect breeding, Mr Dorrit +hastened to reply, 'Unquestionably, madam, you are right.' Mrs General +returned, in her emotionless and expressionless manner, 'I believe so.' + +'But you are aware, my dear madam,' said Mr Dorrit, 'that my daughters +had the misfortune to lose their lamented mother when they were very +young; and that, in consequence of my not having been until lately +the recognised heir to my property, they have lived with me as +a comparatively poor, though always proud, gentleman, in--ha +hum--retirement!' + +'I do not,' said Mrs General, 'lose sight of the circumstance.' + +'Madam,' pursued Mr Dorrit, 'of my daughter Fanny, under her present +guidance and with such an example constantly before her--' + +(Mrs General shut her eyes.) + +--'I have no misgivings. There is adaptability of character in Fanny. +But my younger daughter, Mrs General, rather worries and vexes my +thoughts. I must inform you that she has always been my favourite.' + +'There is no accounting,' said Mrs General, 'for these partialities.' + +'Ha--no,' assented Mr Dorrit. 'No. Now, madam, I am troubled by noticing +that Amy is not, so to speak, one of ourselves. She does not care to go +about with us; she is lost in the society we have here; our tastes +are evidently not her tastes. Which,' said Mr Dorrit, summing up with +judicial gravity, 'is to say, in other words, that there is something +wrong in--ha--Amy.' + +'May we incline to the supposition,' said Mrs General, with a little +touch of varnish, 'that something is referable to the novelty of the +position?' + +'Excuse me, madam,' observed Mr Dorrit, rather quickly. 'The daughter +of a gentleman, though--ha--himself at one time comparatively far from +affluent--comparatively--and herself reared in--hum--retirement, need +not of necessity find this position so very novel.' + +'True,' said Mrs General, 'true.' + +'Therefore, madam,' said Mr Dorrit, 'I took the liberty' (he laid an +emphasis on the phrase and repeated it, as though he stipulated, with +urbane firmness, that he must not be contradicted again), 'I took the +liberty of requesting this interview, in order that I might mention the +topic to you, and inquire how you would advise me?' + +'Mr Dorrit,' returned Mrs General, 'I have conversed with Amy several +times since we have been residing here, on the general subject of the +formation of a demeanour. She has expressed herself to me as wondering +exceedingly at Venice. I have mentioned to her that it is better not to +wonder. I have pointed out to her that the celebrated Mr Eustace, the +classical tourist, did not think much of it; and that he compared the +Rialto, greatly to its disadvantage, with Westminster and Blackfriars +Bridges. I need not add, after what you have said, that I have not yet +found my arguments successful. You do me the honour to ask me what to +advise. It always appears to me (if this should prove to be a baseless +assumption, I shall be pardoned), that Mr Dorrit has been accustomed to +exercise influence over the minds of others.' + +'Hum--madam,' said Mr Dorrit, 'I have been at the head of--ha of +a considerable community. You are right in supposing that I am not +unaccustomed to--an influential position.' + +'I am happy,' returned Mrs General, 'to be so corroborated. I would +therefore the more confidently recommend that Mr Dorrit should speak to +Amy himself, and make his observations and wishes known to her. Being +his favourite, besides, and no doubt attached to him, she is all the +more likely to yield to his influence.' + +'I had anticipated your suggestion, madam,' said Mr Dorrit, +'but--ha--was not sure that I might--hum--not encroach on--' + +'On my province, Mr Dorrit?' said Mrs General, graciously. 'Do not +mention it.' + +'Then, with your leave, madam,' resumed Mr Dorrit, ringing his little +bell to summon his valet, 'I will send for her at once.' + +'Does Mr Dorrit wish me to remain?' + +'Perhaps, if you have no other engagement, you would not object for a +minute or two--' + +'Not at all.' + +So, Tinkler the valet was instructed to find Miss Amy's maid, and to +request that subordinate to inform Miss Amy that Mr Dorrit wished to +see her in his own room. In delivering this charge to Tinkler, Mr Dorrit +looked severely at him, and also kept a jealous eye upon him until he +went out at the door, mistrusting that he might have something in his +mind prejudicial to the family dignity; that he might have even got wind +of some Collegiate joke before he came into the service, and might be +derisively reviving its remembrance at the present moment. If Tinkler +had happened to smile, however faintly and innocently, nothing would +have persuaded Mr Dorrit, to the hour of his death, but that this was +the case. As Tinkler happened, however, very fortunately for himself, to +be of a serious and composed countenance, he escaped the secret danger +that threatened him. And as on his return--when Mr Dorrit eyed him +again--he announced Miss Amy as if she had come to a funeral, he left a +vague impression on Mr Dorrit's mind that he was a well-conducted young +fellow, who had been brought up in the study of his Catechism by a +widowed mother. + +'Amy,' said Mr Dorrit, 'you have just now been the subject of some +conversation between myself and Mrs General. We agree that you scarcely +seem at home here. Ha--how is this?' + +A pause. + +'I think, father, I require a little time.' + +'Papa is a preferable mode of address,' observed Mrs General. 'Father is +rather vulgar, my dear. The word Papa, besides, gives a pretty form to +the lips. Papa, potatoes, poultry, prunes, and prism are all very +good words for the lips: especially prunes and prism. You will find it +serviceable, in the formation of a demeanour, if you sometimes say to +yourself in company--on entering a room, for instance--Papa, potatoes, +poultry, prunes and prism, prunes and prism.' + +'Pray, my child,' said Mr Dorrit, 'attend to the--hum--precepts of Mrs +General.' + +Poor Little Dorrit, with a rather forlorn glance at that eminent +varnisher, promised to try. + +'You say, Amy,' pursued Mr Dorrit, 'that you think you require time. +Time for what?' + +Another pause. + +'To become accustomed to the novelty of my life, was all I meant,' said +Little Dorrit, with her loving eyes upon her father; whom she had very +nearly addressed as poultry, if not prunes and prism too, in her desire +to submit herself to Mrs General and please him. + +Mr Dorrit frowned, and looked anything but pleased. 'Amy,' he returned, +'it appears to me, I must say, that you have had abundance of time for +that. Ha--you surprise me. You disappoint me. Fanny has conquered any +such little difficulties, and--hum--why not you?' + +'I hope I shall do better soon,' said Little Dorrit. + +'I hope so,' returned her father. 'I--ha--I most devoutly hope so, Amy. +I sent for you, in order that I might say--hum--impressively say, in +the presence of Mrs General, to whom we are all so much indebted +for obligingly being present among us, on--ha--on this or any other +occasion,' Mrs General shut her eyes, 'that I--ha hum--am not pleased +with you. You make Mrs General's a thankless task. You--ha--embarrass +me very much. You have always (as I have informed Mrs General) been my +favourite child; I have always made you a--hum--a friend and companion; +in return, I beg--I--ha--I _do_ beg, that you accommodate yourself +better to--hum--circumstances, and dutifully do what becomes your--your +station.' + +Mr Dorrit was even a little more fragmentary than usual, being excited +on the subject and anxious to make himself particularly emphatic. + +'I do beg,' he repeated, 'that this may be attended to, and that you +will seriously take pains and try to conduct yourself in a manner both +becoming your position as--ha--Miss Amy Dorrit, and satisfactory to +myself and Mrs General.' + +That lady shut her eyes again, on being again referred to; then, slowly +opening them and rising, added these words: + +'If Miss Amy Dorrit will direct her own attention to, and will accept of +my poor assistance in, the formation of a surface, Mr. Dorrit will have +no further cause of anxiety. May I take this opportunity of remarking, +as an instance in point, that it is scarcely delicate to look at +vagrants with the attention which I have seen bestowed upon them by a +very dear young friend of mine? They should not be looked at. Nothing +disagreeable should ever be looked at. Apart from such a habit standing +in the way of that graceful equanimity of surface which is so expressive +of good breeding, it hardly seems compatible with refinement of mind. A +truly refined mind will seem to be ignorant of the existence of anything +that is not perfectly proper, placid, and pleasant.' Having delivered +this exalted sentiment, Mrs General made a sweeping obeisance, and +retired with an expression of mouth indicative of Prunes and Prism. + +Little Dorrit, whether speaking or silent, had preserved her quiet +earnestness and her loving look. It had not been clouded, except for a +passing moment, until now. But now that she was left alone with him +the fingers of her lightly folded hands were agitated, and there was +repressed emotion in her face. + +Not for herself. She might feel a little wounded, but her care was not +for herself. Her thoughts still turned, as they always had turned, to +him. A faint misgiving, which had hung about her since their accession +to fortune, that even now she could never see him as he used to be +before the prison days, had gradually begun to assume form in her mind. +She felt that, in what he had just now said to her and in his whole +bearing towards her, there was the well-known shadow of the Marshalsea +wall. It took a new shape, but it was the old sad shadow. She began +with sorrowful unwillingness to acknowledge to herself that she was +not strong enough to keep off the fear that no space in the life of man +could overcome that quarter of a century behind the prison bars. She had +no blame to bestow upon him, therefore: nothing to reproach him with, +no emotions in her faithful heart but great compassion and unbounded +tenderness. + +This is why it was, that, even as he sat before her on his sofa, in the +brilliant light of a bright Italian day, the wonderful city without and +the splendours of an old palace within, she saw him at the moment in the +long-familiar gloom of his Marshalsea lodging, and wished to take her +seat beside him, and comfort him, and be again full of confidence with +him, and of usefulness to him. If he divined what was in her thoughts, +his own were not in tune with it. After some uneasy moving in his seat, +he got up and walked about, looking very much dissatisfied. + +'Is there anything else you wish to say to me, dear father?' + +'No, no. Nothing else.' + +'I am sorry you have not been pleased with me, dear. I hope you will not +think of me with displeasure now. I am going to try, more than ever, to +adapt myself as you wish to what surrounds me--for indeed I have tried +all along, though I have failed, I know.' + +'Amy,' he returned, turning short upon her. 'You--ha--habitually hurt +me.' + +'Hurt you, father! I!' + +'There is a--hum--a topic,' said Mr Dorrit, looking all about the +ceiling of the room, and never at the attentive, uncomplainingly shocked +face, 'a painful topic, a series of events which I wish--ha--altogether +to obliterate. This is understood by your sister, who has already +remonstrated with you in my presence; it is understood by your brother; +it is understood by--ha hum--by every one of delicacy and sensitiveness +except yourself--ha--I am sorry to say, except yourself. You, +Amy--hum--you alone and only you--constantly revive the topic, though +not in words.' + +She laid her hand on his arm. She did nothing more. She gently touched +him. The trembling hand may have said, with some expression, 'Think of +me, think how I have worked, think of my many cares!' But she said not a +syllable herself. + +There was a reproach in the touch so addressed to him that she had +not foreseen, or she would have withheld her hand. He began to justify +himself in a heated, stumbling, angry manner, which made nothing of it. + +'I was there all those years. I was--ha--universally acknowledged as +the head of the place. I--hum--I caused you to be respected there, Amy. +I--ha hum--I gave my family a position there. I deserve a return. I +claim a return. I say, sweep it off the face of the earth and begin +afresh. Is that much? I ask, is _that_ much?' + +He did not once look at her, as he rambled on in this way; but +gesticulated at, and appealed to, the empty air. + +'I have suffered. Probably I know how much I have suffered better than +any one--ha--I say than any one! If _I_ can put that aside, if _I_ can +eradicate the marks of what I have endured, and can emerge before the +world--a--ha--gentleman unspoiled, unspotted--is it a great deal to +expect--I say again, is it a great deal to expect--that my children +should--hum--do the same and sweep that accursed experience off the face +of the earth?' + +In spite of his flustered state, he made all these exclamations in a +carefully suppressed voice, lest the valet should overhear anything. + +'Accordingly, they do it. Your sister does it. Your brother does it. You +alone, my favourite child, whom I made the friend and companion of my +life when you were a mere--hum--Baby, do not do it. You alone say you +can't do it. I provide you with valuable assistance to do it. I attach +an accomplished and highly bred lady--ha--Mrs General, to you, for the +purpose of doing it. Is it surprising that I should be displeased? Is it +necessary that I should defend myself for expressing my displeasure? +No!' + +Notwithstanding which, he continued to defend himself, without any +abatement of his flushed mood. + +'I am careful to appeal to that lady for confirmation, before I express +any displeasure at all. I--hum--I necessarily make that appeal within +limited bounds, or I--ha--should render legible, by that lady, what I +desire to be blotted out. Am I selfish? Do I complain for my own sake? +No. No. Principally for--ha hum--your sake, Amy.' + +This last consideration plainly appeared, from his manner of pursuing +it, to have just that instant come into his head. + +'I said I was hurt. So I am. So I--ha--am determined to be, whatever +is advanced to the contrary. I am hurt that my daughter, seated in +the--hum--lap of fortune, should mope and retire and proclaim herself +unequal to her destiny. I am hurt that she should--ha--systematically +reproduce what the rest of us blot out; and seem--hum--I had almost said +positively anxious--to announce to wealthy and distinguished society +that she was born and bred in--ha hum--a place that I myself decline to +name. But there is no inconsistency--ha--not the least, in my feeling +hurt, and yet complaining principally for your sake, Amy. I do; I say +again, I do. It is for your sake that I wish you, under the auspices of +Mrs General, to form a--hum--a surface. It is for your sake that I wish +you to have a--ha--truly refined mind, and (in the striking words of +Mrs General) to be ignorant of everything that is not perfectly proper, +placid, and pleasant.' + +He had been running down by jerks, during his last speech, like a +sort of ill-adjusted alarum. The touch was still upon his arm. He fell +silent; and after looking about the ceiling again for a little while, +looked down at her. Her head drooped, and he could not see her face; but +her touch was tender and quiet, and in the expression of her dejected +figure there was no blame--nothing but love. He began to whimper, just +as he had done that night in the prison when she afterwards sat at +his bedside till morning; exclaimed that he was a poor ruin and a poor +wretch in the midst of his wealth; and clasped her in his arms. 'Hush, +hush, my own dear! Kiss me!' was all she said to him. His tears +were soon dried, much sooner than on the former occasion; and he was +presently afterwards very high with his valet, as a way of righting +himself for having shed any. + +With one remarkable exception, to be recorded in its place, this was +the only time, in his life of freedom and fortune, when he spoke to his +daughter Amy of the old days. + +But, now, the breakfast hour arrived; and with it Miss Fanny from her +apartment, and Mr Edward from his apartment. Both these young persons of +distinction were something the worse for late hours. As to Miss Fanny, +she had become the victim of an insatiate mania for what she called +'going into society;'and would have gone into it head-foremost fifty +times between sunset and sunrise, if so many opportunities had been at +her disposal. As to Mr Edward, he, too, had a large acquaintance, and +was generally engaged (for the most part, in diceing circles, or others +of a kindred nature), during the greater part of every night. For this +gentleman, when his fortunes changed, had stood at the great advantage +of being already prepared for the highest associates, and having little +to learn: so much was he indebted to the happy accidents which had made +him acquainted with horse-dealing and billiard-marking. + +At breakfast, Mr Frederick Dorrit likewise appeared. As the old +gentleman inhabited the highest story of the palace, where he might have +practised pistol-shooting without much chance of discovery by the other +inmates, his younger niece had taken courage to propose the restoration +to him of his clarionet, which Mr Dorrit had ordered to be confiscated, +but which she had ventured to preserve. Notwithstanding some objections +from Miss Fanny, that it was a low instrument, and that she detested the +sound of it, the concession had been made. But it was then discovered +that he had had enough of it, and never played it, now that it was no +longer his means of getting bread. He had insensibly acquired a new +habit of shuffling into the picture-galleries, always with his twisted +paper of snuff in his hand (much to the indignation of Miss Fanny, who +had proposed the purchase of a gold box for him that the family might +not be discredited, which he had absolutely refused to carry when it was +bought); and of passing hours and hours before the portraits of renowned +Venetians. It was never made out what his dazed eyes saw in them; +whether he had an interest in them merely as pictures, or whether he +confusedly identified them with a glory that was departed, like the +strength of his own mind. But he paid his court to them with great +exactness, and clearly derived pleasure from the pursuit. After the +first few days, Little Dorrit happened one morning to assist at these +attentions. It so evidently heightened his gratification that she often +accompanied him afterwards, and the greatest delight of which the old +man had shown himself susceptible since his ruin, arose out of these +excursions, when he would carry a chair about for her from picture +to picture, and stand behind it, in spite of all her remonstrances, +silently presenting her to the noble Venetians. + +It fell out that, at this family breakfast, he referred to their having +seen in a gallery, on the previous day, the lady and gentleman whom they +had encountered on the Great Saint Bernard, 'I forget the name,' said +he. 'I dare say you remember them, William? I dare say you do, Edward?' + +'_I_ remember 'em well enough,' said the latter. + +'I should think so,' observed Miss Fanny, with a toss of her head and +a glance at her sister. 'But they would not have been recalled to our +remembrance, I suspect, if Uncle hadn't tumbled over the subject.' + +'My dear, what a curious phrase,' said Mrs General. 'Would not +inadvertently lighted upon, or accidentally referred to, be better?' + +'Thank you very much, Mrs General,' returned the young lady, 'no, I +think not. On the whole I prefer my own expression.' + +This was always Miss Fanny's way of receiving a suggestion from Mrs +General. But she always stored it up in her mind, and adopted it at +another time. + +'I should have mentioned our having met Mr and Mrs Gowan, Fanny,' said +Little Dorrit, 'even if Uncle had not. I have scarcely seen you since, +you know. I meant to have spoken of it at breakfast; because I should +like to pay a visit to Mrs Gowan, and to become better acquainted with +her, if Papa and Mrs General do not object.' + +'Well, Amy,' said Fanny, 'I am sure I am glad to find you at last +expressing a wish to become better acquainted with anybody in Venice. +Though whether Mr and Mrs Gowan are desirable acquaintances, remains to +be determined.' + +'Mrs Gowan I spoke of, dear.' + +'No doubt,' said Fanny. 'But you can't separate her from her husband, I +believe, without an Act of Parliament.' + +'Do you think, Papa,' inquired Little Dorrit, with diffidence and +hesitation, 'there is any objection to my making this visit?' + +'Really,' he replied, 'I--ha--what is Mrs General's view?' + +Mrs General's view was, that not having the honour of any acquaintance +with the lady and gentleman referred to, she was not in a position +to varnish the present article. She could only remark, as a general +principle observed in the varnishing trade, that much depended on the +quarter from which the lady under consideration was accredited to a +family so conspicuously niched in the social temple as the family of +Dorrit. + +At this remark the face of Mr Dorrit gloomed considerably. He was about +(connecting the accrediting with an obtrusive person of the name +of Clennam, whom he imperfectly remembered in some former state of +existence) to black-ball the name of Gowan finally, when Edward Dorrit, +Esquire, came into the conversation, with his glass in his eye, and the +preliminary remark of 'I say--you there! Go out, will you!'--which was +addressed to a couple of men who were handing the dishes round, as a +courteous intimation that their services could be temporarily dispensed +with. + +Those menials having obeyed the mandate, Edward Dorrit, Esquire, +proceeded. + +'Perhaps it's a matter of policy to let you all know that these +Gowans--in whose favour, or at least the gentleman's, I can't be +supposed to be much prepossessed myself--are known to people of +importance, if that makes any difference.' + +'That, I would say,' observed the fair varnisher, 'Makes the greatest +difference. The connection in question, being really people of +importance and consideration--' + +'As to that,' said Edward Dorrit, Esquire, 'I'll give you the means of +judging for yourself. You are acquainted, perhaps, with the famous name +of Merdle?' + +'The great Merdle!' exclaimed Mrs General. + +'_The_ Merdle,' said Edward Dorrit, Esquire. 'They are known to him. +Mrs Gowan--I mean the dowager, my polite friend's mother--is intimate +with Mrs Merdle, and I know these two to be on their visiting list.' + +'If so, a more undeniable guarantee could not be given,' said Mrs +General to Mr Dorrit, raising her gloves and bowing her head, as if she +were doing homage to some visible graven image. + +'I beg to ask my son, from motives of--ah--curiosity,' Mr Dorrit +observed, with a decided change in his manner, 'how he becomes possessed +of this--hum--timely information?' + +'It's not a long story, sir,' returned Edward Dorrit, Esquire, 'and you +shall have it out of hand. To begin with, Mrs Merdle is the lady you had +the parley with at what's-his-name place.' + +'Martigny,' interposed Miss Fanny with an air of infinite languor. + +'Martigny,' assented her brother, with a slight nod and a slight wink; +in acknowledgment of which, Miss Fanny looked surprised, and laughed and +reddened. + +'How can that be, Edward?' said Mr Dorrit. 'You informed me that the +name of the gentleman with whom you conferred was--ha--Sparkler. Indeed, +you showed me his card. Hum. Sparkler.' + +'No doubt of it, father; but it doesn't follow that his mother's name +must be the same. Mrs Merdle was married before, and he is her son. She +is in Rome now; where probably we shall know more of her, as you decide +to winter there. Sparkler is just come here. I passed last evening in +company with Sparkler. Sparkler is a very good fellow on the +whole, though rather a bore on one subject, in consequence of being +tremendously smitten with a certain young lady.' Here Edward Dorrit, +Esquire, eyed Miss Fanny through his glass across the table. 'We +happened last night to compare notes about our travels, and I had the +information I have given you from Sparkler himself.' Here he ceased; +continuing to eye Miss Fanny through his glass, with a face much +twisted, and not ornamentally so, in part by the action of keeping his +glass in his eye, and in part by the great subtlety of his smile. + +'Under these circumstances,' said Mr Dorrit, 'I believe I express the +sentiments of--ha--Mrs General, no less than my own, when I say +that there is no objection, but--ha hum--quite the contrary--to your +gratifying your desire, Amy. I trust I may--ha--hail--this desire,' said +Mr Dorrit, in an encouraging and forgiving manner, 'as an auspicious +omen. It is quite right to know these people. It is a very proper +thing. Mr Merdle's is a name of--ha--world-wide repute. Mr Merdle's +undertakings are immense. They bring him in such vast sums of money that +they are regarded as--hum--national benefits. Mr Merdle is the man of +this time. The name of Merdle is the name of the age. Pray do everything +on my behalf that is civil to Mr and Mrs Gowan, for we will--ha--we will +certainly notice them.' + +This magnificent accordance of Mr Dorrit's recognition settled the +matter. It was not observed that Uncle had pushed away his plate, and +forgotten his breakfast; but he was not much observed at any time, +except by Little Dorrit. The servants were recalled, and the meal +proceeded to its conclusion. Mrs General rose and left the table. +Little Dorrit rose and left the table. When Edward and Fanny remained +whispering together across it, and when Mr Dorrit remained eating figs +and reading a French newspaper, Uncle suddenly fixed the attention of +all three by rising out of his chair, striking his hand upon the table, +and saying, 'Brother! I protest against it!' + +If he had made a proclamation in an unknown tongue, and given up the +ghost immediately afterwards, he could not have astounded his audience +more. The paper fell from Mr Dorrit's hand, and he sat petrified, with a +fig half way to his mouth. + +'Brother!' said the old man, conveying a surprising energy into his +trembling voice, 'I protest against it! I love you; you know I love you +dearly. In these many years I have never been untrue to you in a single +thought. Weak as I am, I would at any time have struck any man who spoke +ill of you. But, brother, brother, brother, I protest against it!' + +It was extraordinary to see of what a burst of earnestness such a +decrepit man was capable. His eyes became bright, his grey hair rose on +his head, markings of purpose on his brow and face which had faded from +them for five-and-twenty years, started out again, and there was an +energy in his hand that made its action nervous once more. + +'My dear Frederick!' exclaimed Mr Dorrit faintly. 'What is wrong? What +is the matter?' + +'How dare you,' said the old man, turning round on Fanny, 'how dare you +do it? Have you no memory? Have you no heart?' + +'Uncle?' cried Fanny, affrighted and bursting into tears, 'why do you +attack me in this cruel manner? What have I done?' + +'Done?' returned the old man, pointing to her sister's place, 'where's +your affectionate invaluable friend? Where's your devoted guardian? +Where's your more than mother? How dare you set up superiorities against +all these characters combined in your sister? For shame, you false girl, +for shame!' + +'I love Amy,' cried Miss Fanny, sobbing and weeping, 'as well as I love +my life--better than I love my life. I don't deserve to be so treated. I +am as grateful to Amy, and as fond of Amy, as it's possible for any +human being to be. I wish I was dead. I never was so wickedly wronged. +And only because I am anxious for the family credit.' + +'To the winds with the family credit!' cried the old man, with great +scorn and indignation. 'Brother, I protest against pride. I protest +against ingratitude. I protest against any one of us here who have known +what we have known, and have seen what we have seen, setting up any +pretension that puts Amy at a moment's disadvantage, or to the cost of +a moment's pain. We may know that it's a base pretension by its having +that effect. It ought to bring a judgment on us. Brother, I protest +against it in the sight of God!' + +As his hand went up above his head and came down on the table, it might +have been a blacksmith's. After a few moments' silence, it had relaxed +into its usual weak condition. He went round to his brother with his +ordinary shuffling step, put the hand on his shoulder, and said, in a +softened voice, 'William, my dear, I felt obliged to say it; forgive me, +for I felt obliged to say it!' and then went, in his bowed way, out of +the palace hall, just as he might have gone out of the Marshalsea room. + +All this time Fanny had been sobbing and crying, and still continued to +do so. Edward, beyond opening his mouth in amazement, had not opened his +lips, and had done nothing but stare. Mr Dorrit also had been utterly +discomfited, and quite unable to assert himself in any way. Fanny was +now the first to speak. + +'I never, never, never was so used!' she sobbed. 'There never was +anything so harsh and unjustifiable, so disgracefully violent and cruel! +Dear, kind, quiet little Amy, too, what would she feel if she could know +that she had been innocently the means of exposing me to such treatment! +But I'll never tell her! No, good darling, I'll never tell her!' + +This helped Mr Dorrit to break his silence. + +'My dear,' said he, 'I--ha--approve of your resolution. It will be--ha +hum--much better not to speak of this to Amy. It might--hum--it +might distress her. Ha. No doubt it would distress her greatly. It +is considerate and right to avoid doing so. We will--ha--keep this to +ourselves.' + +'But the cruelty of Uncle!' cried Miss Fanny. 'O, I never can forgive +the wanton cruelty of Uncle!' + +'My dear,' said Mr Dorrit, recovering his tone, though he remained +unusually pale, 'I must request you not to say so. You must remember +that your uncle is--ha--not what he formerly was. You must remember +that your uncle's state requires--hum--great forbearance from us, great +forbearance.' + +'I am sure,' cried Fanny, piteously, 'it is only charitable to suppose +that there must be something wrong in him somewhere, or he never could +have so attacked Me, of all the people in the world.' + +'Fanny,' returned Mr Dorrit in a deeply fraternal tone, 'you know, with +his innumerable good points, what a--hum--wreck your uncle is; and, I +entreat you by the fondness that I have for him, and by the fidelity +that you know I have always shown him, to--ha--to draw your own +conclusions, and to spare my brotherly feelings.' + +This ended the scene; Edward Dorrit, Esquire, saying nothing throughout, +but looking, to the last, perplexed and doubtful. Miss Fanny awakened +much affectionate uneasiness in her sister's mind that day by passing +the greater part of it in violent fits of embracing her, and in +alternately giving her brooches, and wishing herself dead. + + + + +CHAPTER 6. Something Right Somewhere + + +To be in the halting state of Mr Henry Gowan; to have left one of two +powers in disgust; to want the necessary qualifications for finding +promotion with another, and to be loitering moodily about on neutral +ground, cursing both; is to be in a situation unwholesome for the mind, +which time is not likely to improve. The worst class of sum worked in +the every-day world is cyphered by the diseased arithmeticians who are +always in the rule of Subtraction as to the merits and successes of +others, and never in Addition as to their own. + +The habit, too, of seeking some sort of recompense in the discontented +boast of being disappointed, is a habit fraught with degeneracy. A +certain idle carelessness and recklessness of consistency soon comes of +it. To bring deserving things down by setting undeserving things up is +one of its perverted delights; and there is no playing fast and loose +with the truth, in any game, without growing the worse for it. + +In his expressed opinions of all performances in the Art of painting +that were completely destitute of merit, Gowan was the most liberal +fellow on earth. He would declare such a man to have more power in his +little finger (provided he had none), than such another had (provided he +had much) in his whole mind and body. If the objection were taken that +the thing commended was trash, he would reply, on behalf of his art, 'My +good fellow, what do we all turn out but trash? _I_ turn out nothing else, +and I make you a present of the confession.' + +To make a vaunt of being poor was another of the incidents of his +splenetic state, though this may have had the design in it of showing +that he ought to be rich; just as he would publicly laud and decry the +Barnacles, lest it should be forgotten that he belonged to the family. +Howbeit, these two subjects were very often on his lips; and he managed +them so well that he might have praised himself by the month together, +and not have made himself out half so important a man as he did by his +light disparagement of his claims on anybody's consideration. + +Out of this same airy talk of his, it always soon came to be understood, +wherever he and his wife went, that he had married against the wishes +of his exalted relations, and had had much ado to prevail on them to +countenance her. He never made the representation, on the contrary +seemed to laugh the idea to scorn; but it did happen that, with all his +pains to depreciate himself, he was always in the superior position. +From the days of their honeymoon, Minnie Gowan felt sensible of being +usually regarded as the wife of a man who had made a descent in marrying +her, but whose chivalrous love for her had cancelled that inequality. + +To Venice they had been accompanied by Monsieur Blandois of Paris, and +at Venice Monsieur Blandois of Paris was very much in the society of +Gowan. When they had first met this gallant gentleman at Geneva, +Gowan had been undecided whether to kick him or encourage him; and had +remained for about four-and-twenty hours, so troubled to settle +the point to his satisfaction, that he had thought of tossing up a +five-franc piece on the terms, 'Tails, kick; heads, encourage,' and +abiding by the voice of the oracle. It chanced, however, that his wife +expressed a dislike to the engaging Blandois, and that the balance +of feeling in the hotel was against him. Upon it, Gowan resolved to +encourage him. + +Why this perversity, if it were not in a generous fit?--which it was +not. Why should Gowan, very much the superior of Blandois of Paris, and +very well able to pull that prepossessing gentleman to pieces and find +out the stuff he was made of, take up with such a man? In the first +place, he opposed the first separate wish he observed in his wife, +because her father had paid his debts and it was desirable to take an +early opportunity of asserting his independence. In the second place, +he opposed the prevalent feeling, because with many capacities of +being otherwise, he was an ill-conditioned man. He found a pleasure in +declaring that a courtier with the refined manners of Blandois ought +to rise to the greatest distinction in any polished country. He found a +pleasure in setting up Blandois as the type of elegance, and making +him a satire upon others who piqued themselves on personal graces. +He seriously protested that the bow of Blandois was perfect, that the +address of Blandois was irresistible, and that the picturesque ease +of Blandois would be cheaply purchased (if it were not a gift, and +unpurchasable) for a hundred thousand francs. That exaggeration in the +manner of the man which has been noticed as appertaining to him and to +every such man, whatever his original breeding, as certainly as the sun +belongs to this system, was acceptable to Gowan as a caricature, which +he found it a humorous resource to have at hand for the ridiculing of +numbers of people who necessarily did more or less of what Blandois +overdid. Thus he had taken up with him; and thus, negligently +strengthening these inclinations with habit, and idly deriving some +amusement from his talk, he had glided into a way of having him for +a companion. This, though he supposed him to live by his wits at +play-tables and the like; though he suspected him to be a coward, while +he himself was daring and courageous; though he thoroughly knew him to +be disliked by Minnie; and though he cared so little for him, after all, +that if he had given her any tangible personal cause to regard him with +aversion, he would have had no compunction whatever in flinging him out +of the highest window in Venice into the deepest water of the city. + +Little Dorrit would have been glad to make her visit to Mrs Gowan, +alone; but as Fanny, who had not yet recovered from her Uncle's protest, +though it was four-and-twenty hours of age, pressingly offered her +company, the two sisters stepped together into one of the gondolas under +Mr Dorrit's window, and, with the courier in attendance, were taken in +high state to Mrs Gowan's lodging. In truth, their state was rather too +high for the lodging, which was, as Fanny complained, 'fearfully out of +the way,' and which took them through a complexity of narrow streets of +water, which the same lady disparaged as 'mere ditches.' + +The house, on a little desert island, looked as if it had broken +away from somewhere else, and had floated by chance into its present +anchorage in company with a vine almost as much in want of training as +the poor wretches who were lying under its leaves. The features of the +surrounding picture were, a church with hoarding and scaffolding about +it, which had been under suppositious repair so long that the means of +repair looked a hundred years old, and had themselves fallen into decay; +a quantity of washed linen, spread to dry in the sun; a number of houses +at odds with one another and grotesquely out of the perpendicular, like +rotten pre-Adamite cheeses cut into fantastic shapes and full of mites; +and a feverish bewilderment of windows, with their lattice-blinds all +hanging askew, and something draggled and dirty dangling out of most of +them. + +On the first-floor of the house was a Bank--a surprising experience for +any gentleman of commercial pursuits bringing laws for all mankind from +a British city--where two spare clerks, like dried dragoons, in green +velvet caps adorned with golden tassels, stood, bearded, behind a small +counter in a small room, containing no other visible objects than an +empty iron-safe with the door open, a jug of water, and a papering of +garland of roses; but who, on lawful requisition, by merely dipping +their hands out of sight, could produce exhaustless mounds of five-franc +pieces. Below the Bank was a suite of three or four rooms with barred +windows, which had the appearance of a jail for criminal rats. Above the +Bank was Mrs Gowan's residence. + +Notwithstanding that its walls were blotched, as if missionary maps were +bursting out of them to impart geographical knowledge; notwithstanding +that its weird furniture was forlornly faded and musty, and that the +prevailing Venetian odour of bilge water and an ebb tide on a weedy +shore was very strong; the place was better within, than it promised. +The door was opened by a smiling man like a reformed assassin--a +temporary servant--who ushered them into the room where Mrs Gowan sat, +with the announcement that two beautiful English ladies were come to see +the mistress. + +Mrs Gowan, who was engaged in needlework, put her work aside in a +covered basket, and rose, a little hurriedly. Miss Fanny was excessively +courteous to her, and said the usual nothings with the skill of a +veteran. + +'Papa was extremely sorry,' proceeded Fanny, 'to be engaged to-day (he +is so much engaged here, our acquaintance being so wretchedly large!); +and particularly requested me to bring his card for Mr Gowan. That I may +be sure to acquit myself of a commission which he impressed upon me at +least a dozen times, allow me to relieve my conscience by placing it on +the table at once.' + +Which she did with veteran ease. + +'We have been,' said Fanny, 'charmed to understand that you know the +Merdles. We hope it may be another means of bringing us together.' + +'They are friends,' said Mrs Gowan, 'of Mr Gowan's family. I have not +yet had the pleasure of a personal introduction to Mrs Merdle, but I +suppose I shall be presented to her at Rome.' + +'Indeed?' returned Fanny, with an appearance of amiably quenching her +own superiority. 'I think you'll like her.' + +'You know her very well?' + +'Why, you see,' said Fanny, with a frank action of her pretty shoulders, +'in London one knows every one. We met her on our way here, and, to say +the truth, papa was at first rather cross with her for taking one of the +rooms that our people had ordered for us. However, of course, that soon +blew over, and we were all good friends again.' + +Although the visit had as yet given Little Dorrit no opportunity of +conversing with Mrs Gowan, there was a silent understanding between +them, which did as well. She looked at Mrs Gowan with keen and unabated +interest; the sound of her voice was thrilling to her; nothing that was +near her, or about her, or at all concerned her, escaped Little Dorrit. +She was quicker to perceive the slightest matter here, than in any other +case--but one. + +'You have been quite well,' she now said, 'since that night?' + +'Quite, my dear. And you?' + +'Oh! I am always well,' said Little Dorrit, timidly. 'I--yes, thank you.' + +There was no reason for her faltering and breaking off, other than that +Mrs Gowan had touched her hand in speaking to her, and their looks had +met. Something thoughtfully apprehensive in the large, soft eyes, had +checked Little Dorrit in an instant. + +'You don't know that you are a favourite of my husband's, and that I am +almost bound to be jealous of you?' said Mrs Gowan. + +Little Dorrit, blushing, shook her head. + +'He will tell you, if he tells you what he tells me, that you are +quieter and quicker of resource than any one he ever saw.' + +'He speaks far too well of me,' said Little Dorrit. + +'I doubt that; but I don't at all doubt that I must tell him you +are here. I should never be forgiven, if I were to let you--and Miss +Dorrit--go, without doing so. May I? You can excuse the disorder and +discomfort of a painter's studio?' + +The inquiries were addressed to Miss Fanny, who graciously replied that +she would be beyond anything interested and enchanted. Mrs Gowan went to +a door, looked in beyond it, and came back. 'Do Henry the favour to come +in,' said she, 'I knew he would be pleased!' + +The first object that confronted Little Dorrit, entering first, was +Blandois of Paris in a great cloak and a furtive slouched hat, standing +on a throne platform in a corner, as he had stood on the Great Saint +Bernard, when the warning arms seemed to be all pointing up at him. She +recoiled from this figure, as it smiled at her. + +'Don't be alarmed,' said Gowan, coming from his easel behind the door. +'It's only Blandois. He is doing duty as a model to-day. I am making +a study of him. It saves me money to turn him to some use. We poor +painters have none to spare.' + +Blandois of Paris pulled off his slouched hat, and saluted the ladies +without coming out of his corner. + +'A thousand pardons!' said he. 'But the Professore here is so inexorable +with me, that I am afraid to stir.' + +'Don't stir, then,' said Gowan coolly, as the sisters approached the +easel. 'Let the ladies at least see the original of the daub, that they +may know what it's meant for. There he stands, you see. A bravo waiting +for his prey, a distinguished noble waiting to save his country, the +common enemy waiting to do somebody a bad turn, an angelic messenger +waiting to do somebody a good turn--whatever you think he looks most +like!' + +'Say, Professore Mio, a poor gentleman waiting to do homage to +elegance and beauty,' remarked Blandois. + +'Or say, Cattivo Soggetto Mio,' returned Gowan, touching the painted +face with his brush in the part where the real face had moved, 'a +murderer after the fact. Show that white hand of yours, Blandois. Put it +outside the cloak. Keep it still.' + +Blandois' hand was unsteady; but he laughed, and that would naturally +shake it. + +'He was formerly in some scuffle with another murderer, or with a +victim, you observe,' said Gowan, putting in the markings of the hand +with a quick, impatient, unskilful touch, 'and these are the tokens of +it. Outside the cloak, man!--Corpo di San Marco, what are you thinking +of?' + +Blandois of Paris shook with a laugh again, so that his hand shook more; +now he raised it to twist his moustache, which had a damp appearance; +and now he stood in the required position, with a little new swagger. + +His face was so directed in reference to the spot where Little Dorrit +stood by the easel, that throughout he looked at her. Once attracted by +his peculiar eyes, she could not remove her own, and they had looked +at each other all the time. She trembled now; Gowan, feeling it, and +supposing her to be alarmed by the large dog beside him, whose head she +caressed in her hand, and who had just uttered a low growl, glanced at +her to say, 'He won't hurt you, Miss Dorrit.' + +'I am not afraid of him,' she returned in the same breath; 'but will you +look at him?' + +In a moment Gowan had thrown down his brush, and seized the dog with +both hands by the collar. + +'Blandois! How can you be such a fool as to provoke him! By Heaven, and +the other place too, he'll tear you to bits! Lie down! Lion! Do you hear +my voice, you rebel!' + +The great dog, regardless of being half-choked by his collar, was +obdurately pulling with his dead weight against his master, resolved to +get across the room. He had been crouching for a spring at the moment +when his master caught him. + +'Lion! Lion!' He was up on his hind legs, and it was a wrestle between +master and dog. 'Get back! Down, Lion! Get out of his sight, Blandois! +What devil have you conjured into the dog?' + +'I have done nothing to him.' + +'Get out of his sight or I can't hold the wild beast! Get out of the +room! By my soul, he'll kill you!' + +The dog, with a ferocious bark, made one other struggle as Blandois +vanished; then, in the moment of the dog's submission, the master, +little less angry than the dog, felled him with a blow on the head, and +standing over him, struck him many times severely with the heel of his +boot, so that his mouth was presently bloody. + +'Now get you into that corner and lie down,' said Gowan, 'or I'll take +you out and shoot you.' + +Lion did as he was ordered, and lay down licking his mouth and chest. +Lion's master stopped for a moment to take breath, and then, recovering +his usual coolness of manner, turned to speak to his frightened wife +and her visitors. Probably the whole occurrence had not occupied two +minutes. + +'Come, come, Minnie! You know he is always good-humoured and tractable. +Blandois must have irritated him,--made faces at him. The dog has his +likings and dislikings, and Blandois is no great favourite of his; but +I am sure you will give him a character, Minnie, for never having been +like this before.' + +Minnie was too much disturbed to say anything connected in reply; Little +Dorrit was already occupied in soothing her; Fanny, who had cried out +twice or thrice, held Gowan's arm for protection; Lion, deeply ashamed +of having caused them this alarm, came trailing himself along the ground +to the feet of his mistress. + +'You furious brute,' said Gowan, striking him with his foot again. 'You +shall do penance for this.' And he struck him again, and yet again. + +'O, pray don't punish him any more,' cried Little Dorrit. 'Don't hurt +him. See how gentle he is!' At her entreaty, Gowan spared him; and he +deserved her intercession, for truly he was as submissive, and as sorry, +and as wretched as a dog could be. + +It was not easy to recover this shock and make the visit unrestrained, +even though Fanny had not been, under the best of circumstances, the +least trifle in the way. In such further communication as passed among +them before the sisters took their departure, Little Dorrit fancied it +was revealed to her that Mr Gowan treated his wife, even in his very +fondness, too much like a beautiful child. He seemed so unsuspicious of +the depths of feeling which she knew must lie below that surface, that +she doubted if there could be any such depths in himself. She wondered +whether his want of earnestness might be the natural result of his want +of such qualities, and whether it was with people as with ships, that, +in too shallow and rocky waters, their anchors had no hold, and they +drifted anywhere. + +He attended them down the staircase, jocosely apologising for the +poor quarters to which such poor fellows as himself were limited, and +remarking that when the high and mighty Barnacles, his relatives, who +would be dreadfully ashamed of them, presented him with better, he would +live in better to oblige them. At the water's edge they were saluted by +Blandois, who looked white enough after his late adventure, but who made +very light of it notwithstanding,--laughing at the mention of Lion. + +Leaving the two together under the scrap of vine upon the causeway, +Gowan idly scattering the leaves from it into the water, and Blandois +lighting a cigarette, the sisters were paddled away in state as they had +come. They had not glided on for many minutes, when Little Dorrit became +aware that Fanny was more showy in manner than the occasion appeared to +require, and, looking about for the cause through the window and through +the open door, saw another gondola evidently in waiting on them. + +As this gondola attended their progress in various artful ways; +sometimes shooting on a-head, and stopping to let them pass; sometimes, +when the way was broad enough, skimming along side by side with them; +and sometimes following close astern; and as Fanny gradually made no +disguise that she was playing off graces upon somebody within it, of +whom she at the same time feigned to be unconscious; Little Dorrit at +length asked who it was? + +To which Fanny made the short answer, 'That gaby.' + +'Who?' said Little Dorrit. + +'My dear child,' returned Fanny (in a tone suggesting that before her +Uncle's protest she might have said, You little fool, instead), 'how +slow you are! Young Sparkler.' + +She lowered the window on her side, and, leaning back and resting her +elbow on it negligently, fanned herself with a rich Spanish fan of black +and gold. The attendant gondola, having skimmed forward again, with some +swift trace of an eye in the window, Fanny laughed coquettishly and +said, 'Did you ever see such a fool, my love?' + +'Do you think he means to follow you all the way?' asked Little Dorrit. + +'My precious child,' returned Fanny, 'I can't possibly answer for what +an idiot in a state of desperation may do, but I should think it highly +probable. It's not such an enormous distance. All Venice would scarcely +be that, I imagine, if he's dying for a glimpse of me.' + +'And is he?' asked Little Dorrit in perfect simplicity. + +'Well, my love, that really is an awkward question for me to answer,' +said her sister. 'I believe he is. You had better ask Edward. He tells +Edward he is, I believe. I understand he makes a perfect spectacle of +himself at the Casino, and that sort of places, by going on about me. +But you had better ask Edward if you want to know.' + +'I wonder he doesn't call,' said Little Dorrit after thinking a moment. + +'My dear Amy, your wonder will soon cease, if I am rightly informed. +I should not be at all surprised if he called to-day. The creature has +only been waiting to get his courage up, I suspect.' + +'Will you see him?' + +'Indeed, my darling,' said Fanny, 'that's just as it may happen. Here he +is again. Look at him. O, you simpleton!' + +Mr Sparkler had, undeniably, a weak appearance; with his eye in the +window like a knot in the glass, and no reason on earth for stopping his +bark suddenly, except the real reason. + +'When you asked me if I will see him, my dear,' said Fanny, almost as +well composed in the graceful indifference of her attitude as Mrs Merdle +herself, 'what do you mean?' + +'I mean,' said Little Dorrit--'I think I rather mean what do you mean, +dear Fanny?' + +Fanny laughed again, in a manner at once condescending, arch, and +affable; and said, putting her arm round her sister in a playfully +affectionate way: + +'Now tell me, my little pet. When we saw that woman at Martigny, how +did you think she carried it off? Did you see what she decided on in a +moment?' + +'No, Fanny.' + +'Then I'll tell you, Amy. She settled with herself, now I'll never +refer to that meeting under such different circumstances, and I'll never +pretend to have any idea that these are the same girls. That's _her_ way +out of a difficulty. What did I tell you when we came away from Harley +Street that time? She is as insolent and false as any woman in the +world. But in the first capacity, my love, she may find people who can +match her.' + +A significant turn of the Spanish fan towards Fanny's bosom, indicated +with great expression where one of these people was to be found. + +'Not only that,' pursued Fanny, 'but she gives the same charge to +Young Sparkler; and doesn't let him come after me until she has got it +thoroughly into his most ridiculous of all ridiculous noddles (for one +really can't call it a head), that he is to pretend to have been first +struck with me in that Inn Yard.' + +'Why?' asked Little Dorrit. + +'Why? Good gracious, my love!' (again very much in the tone of You +stupid little creature) 'how can you ask? Don't you see that I may have +become a rather desirable match for a noddle? And don't you see that she +puts the deception upon us, and makes a pretence, while she shifts it +from her own shoulders (very good shoulders they are too, I must say),' +observed Miss Fanny, glancing complacently at herself, 'of considering +our feelings?' + +'But we can always go back to the plain truth.' + +'Yes, but if you please we won't,' retorted Fanny. 'No; I am not going +to have that done, Amy. The pretext is none of mine; it's hers, and she +shall have enough of it.' + +In the triumphant exaltation of her feelings, Miss Fanny, using her +Spanish fan with one hand, squeezed her sister's waist with the other, +as if she were crushing Mrs Merdle. + +'No,' repeated Fanny. 'She shall find me go her way. She took it, and +I'll follow it. And, with the blessing of fate and fortune, I'll go on +improving that woman's acquaintance until I have given her maid, +before her eyes, things from my dressmaker's ten times as handsome and +expensive as she once gave me from hers!' + +Little Dorrit was silent; sensible that she was not to be heard on +any question affecting the family dignity, and unwilling to lose to no +purpose her sister's newly and unexpectedly restored favour. She could +not concur, but she was silent. Fanny well knew what she was thinking +of; so well, that she soon asked her. + +Her reply was, 'Do you mean to encourage Mr Sparkler, Fanny?' + +'Encourage him, my dear?' said her sister, smiling contemptuously, 'that +depends upon what you call encourage. No, I don't mean to encourage him. +But I'll make a slave of him.' + +Little Dorrit glanced seriously and doubtfully in her face, but Fanny +was not to be so brought to a check. She furled her fan of black and +gold, and used it to tap her sister's nose; with the air of a proud +beauty and a great spirit, who toyed with and playfully instructed a +homely companion. + +'I shall make him fetch and carry, my dear, and I shall make him subject +to me. And if I don't make his mother subject to me, too, it shall not +be my fault.' + +'Do you think--dear Fanny, don't be offended, we are so comfortable +together now--that you can quite see the end of that course?' + +'I can't say I have so much as looked for it yet, my dear,' answered +Fanny, with supreme indifference; 'all in good time. Such are my +intentions. And really they have taken me so long to develop, that here +we are at home. And Young Sparkler at the door, inquiring who is within. +By the merest accident, of course!' + +In effect, the swain was standing up in his gondola, card-case in +hand, affecting to put the question to a servant. This conjunction +of circumstances led to his immediately afterwards presenting himself +before the young ladies in a posture, which in ancient times would not +have been considered one of favourable augury for his suit; since the +gondoliers of the young ladies, having been put to some inconvenience +by the chase, so neatly brought their own boat in the gentlest collision +with the bark of Mr Sparkler, as to tip that gentleman over like a +larger species of ninepin, and cause him to exhibit the soles of his +shoes to the object of his dearest wishes: while the nobler portions of +his anatomy struggled at the bottom of his boat in the arms of one of +his men. + +However, as Miss Fanny called out with much concern, Was the gentleman +hurt, Mr Sparkler rose more restored than might have been expected, and +stammered for himself with blushes, 'Not at all so.' Miss Fanny had no +recollection of having ever seen him before, and was passing on, with a +distant inclination of her head, when he announced himself by name. Even +then she was in a difficulty from being unable to call it to mind, until +he explained that he had had the honour of seeing her at Martigny. Then +she remembered him, and hoped his lady-mother was well. + +'Thank you,' stammered Mr Sparkler, 'she's uncommonly well--at least, +poorly.' + +'In Venice?' said Miss Fanny. + +'In Rome,' Mr Sparkler answered. 'I am here by myself, myself. I came to +call upon Mr Edward Dorrit myself. Indeed, upon Mr Dorrit likewise. In +fact, upon the family.' + +Turning graciously to the attendants, Miss Fanny inquired whether her +papa or brother was within? The reply being that they were both within, +Mr Sparkler humbly offered his arm. Miss Fanny accepting it, was squired +up the great staircase by Mr Sparkler, who, if he still believed (which +there is not any reason to doubt) that she had no nonsense about her, +rather deceived himself. + +Arrived in a mouldering reception-room, where the faded hangings, of a +sad sea-green, had worn and withered until they looked as if they +might have claimed kindred with the waifs of seaweed drifting under +the windows, or clinging to the walls and weeping for their imprisoned +relations, Miss Fanny despatched emissaries for her father and brother. +Pending whose appearance, she showed to great advantage on a sofa, +completing Mr Sparkler's conquest with some remarks upon Dante--known +to that gentleman as an eccentric man in the nature of an Old File, +who used to put leaves round his head, and sit upon a stool for some +unaccountable purpose, outside the cathedral at Florence. + +Mr Dorrit welcomed the visitor with the highest urbanity, and most +courtly manners. He inquired particularly after Mrs Merdle. He inquired +particularly after Mr Merdle. Mr Sparkler said, or rather twitched out +of himself in small pieces by the shirt-collar, that Mrs Merdle having +completely used up her place in the country, and also her house at +Brighton, and being, of course, unable, don't you see, to remain in +London when there wasn't a soul there, and not feeling herself this year +quite up to visiting about at people's places, had resolved to have +a touch at Rome, where a woman like herself, with a proverbially fine +appearance, and with no nonsense about her, couldn't fail to be a great +acquisition. As to Mr Merdle, he was so much wanted by the men in the +City and the rest of those places, and was such a doosed extraordinary +phenomenon in Buying and Banking and that, that Mr Sparkler doubted if +the monetary system of the country would be able to spare him; though +that his work was occasionally one too many for him, and that he would +be all the better for a temporary shy at an entirely new scene and +climate, Mr Sparkler did not conceal. As to himself, Mr Sparkler +conveyed to the Dorrit family that he was going, on rather particular +business, wherever they were going. + +This immense conversational achievement required time, but was effected. +Being effected, Mr Dorrit expressed his hope that Mr Sparkler would +shortly dine with them. Mr Sparkler received the idea so kindly that Mr +Dorrit asked what he was going to do that day, for instance? As he was +going to do nothing that day (his usual occupation, and one for which he +was particularly qualified), he was secured without postponement; being +further bound over to accompany the ladies to the Opera in the evening. + +At dinner-time Mr Sparkler rose out of the sea, like Venus's son taking +after his mother, and made a splendid appearance ascending the great +staircase. If Fanny had been charming in the morning, she was now thrice +charming, very becomingly dressed in her most suitable colours, and with +an air of negligence upon her that doubled Mr Sparkler's fetters, and +riveted them. + +'I hear you are acquainted, Mr Sparkler,' said his host at dinner, +'with--ha--Mr Gowan. Mr Henry Gowan?' + +'Perfectly, sir,' returned Mr Sparkler. 'His mother and my mother are +cronies in fact.' + +'If I had thought of it, Amy,' said Mr Dorrit, with a patronage as +magnificent as that of Lord Decimus himself, 'you should have despatched +a note to them, asking them to dine to-day. Some of our people could +have--ha--fetched them, and taken them home. We could have spared +a--hum--gondola for that purpose. I am sorry to have forgotten this. +Pray remind me of them to-morrow.' + +Little Dorrit was not without doubts how Mr Henry Gowan might take their +patronage; but she promised not to fail in the reminder. + +'Pray, does Mr Henry Gowan paint--ha--Portraits?' inquired Mr Dorrit. + +Mr Sparkler opined that he painted anything, if he could get the job. + +'He has no particular walk?' said Mr Dorrit. + +Mr Sparkler, stimulated by Love to brilliancy, replied that for a +particular walk a man ought to have a particular pair of shoes; as, for +example, shooting, shooting-shoes; cricket, cricket-shoes. Whereas, he +believed that Henry Gowan had no particular pair of shoes. + +'No speciality?' said Mr Dorrit. + +This being a very long word for Mr Sparkler, and his mind being +exhausted by his late effort, he replied, 'No, thank you. I seldom take +it.' + +'Well!' said Mr Dorrit. 'It would be very agreeable to me to present +a gentleman so connected, with some--ha--Testimonial of my desire to +further his interests, and develop the--hum--germs of his genius. I +think I must engage Mr Gowan to paint my picture. If the result should +be--ha--mutually satisfactory, I might afterwards engage him to try his +hand upon my family.' + +The exquisitely bold and original thought presented itself to Mr +Sparkler, that there was an opening here for saying there were some of +the family (emphasising 'some' in a marked manner) to whom no painter +could render justice. But, for want of a form of words in which to +express the idea, it returned to the skies. + +This was the more to be regretted as Miss Fanny greatly applauded the +notion of the portrait, and urged her papa to act upon it. She surmised, +she said, that Mr Gowan had lost better and higher opportunities by +marrying his pretty wife; and Love in a cottage, painting pictures for +dinner, was so delightfully interesting, that she begged her papa to +give him the commission whether he could paint a likeness or not: though +indeed both she and Amy knew he could, from having seen a speaking +likeness on his easel that day, and having had the opportunity of +comparing it with the original. These remarks made Mr Sparkler (as +perhaps they were intended to do) nearly distracted; for while on +the one hand they expressed Miss Fanny's susceptibility of the tender +passion, she herself showed such an innocent unconsciousness of his +admiration that his eyes goggled in his head with jealousy of an unknown +rival. + +Descending into the sea again after dinner, and ascending out of it +at the Opera staircase, preceded by one of their gondoliers, like an +attendant Merman, with a great linen lantern, they entered their box, +and Mr Sparkler entered on an evening of agony. The theatre being +dark, and the box light, several visitors lounged in during the +representation; in whom Fanny was so interested, and in conversation +with whom she fell into such charming attitudes, as she had little +confidences with them, and little disputes concerning the identity of +people in distant boxes, that the wretched Sparkler hated all mankind. +But he had two consolations at the close of the performance. She gave +him her fan to hold while she adjusted her cloak, and it was his +blessed privilege to give her his arm down-stairs again. These crumbs of +encouragement, Mr Sparkler thought, would just keep him going; and it is +not impossible that Miss Dorrit thought so too. + +The Merman with his light was ready at the box-door, and other Mermen +with other lights were ready at many of the doors. The Dorrit Merman +held his lantern low, to show the steps, and Mr Sparkler put on another +heavy set of fetters over his former set, as he watched her radiant +feet twinkling down the stairs beside him. Among the loiterers here, was +Blandois of Paris. He spoke, and moved forward beside Fanny. + +Little Dorrit was in front with her brother and Mrs General (Mr Dorrit +had remained at home), but on the brink of the quay they all came +together. She started again to find Blandois close to her, handing Fanny +into the boat. + +'Gowan has had a loss,' he said, 'since he was made happy to-day by a +visit from fair ladies.' + +'A loss?' repeated Fanny, relinquished by the bereaved Sparkler, and +taking her seat. + +'A loss,' said Blandois. 'His dog Lion.' + +Little Dorrit's hand was in his, as he spoke. + + +'He is dead,' said Blandois. + +'Dead?' echoed Little Dorrit. 'That noble dog?' + +'Faith, dear ladies!' said Blandois, smiling and shrugging his +shoulders, 'somebody has poisoned that noble dog. He is as dead as the +Doges!' + + + + +CHAPTER 7. Mostly, Prunes and Prism + + +Mrs General, always on her coach-box keeping the proprieties well +together, took pains to form a surface on her very dear young friend, +and Mrs General's very dear young friend tried hard to receive it. Hard +as she had tried in her laborious life to attain many ends, she had +never tried harder than she did now, to be varnished by Mrs General. It +made her anxious and ill at ease to be operated upon by that smoothing +hand, it is true; but she submitted herself to the family want in +its greatness as she had submitted herself to the family want in its +littleness, and yielded to her own inclinations in this thing no more +than she had yielded to her hunger itself, in the days when she had +saved her dinner that her father might have his supper. + +One comfort that she had under the Ordeal by General was more +sustaining to her, and made her more grateful than to a less devoted +and affectionate spirit, not habituated to her struggles and sacrifices, +might appear quite reasonable; and, indeed, it may often be observed in +life, that spirits like Little Dorrit do not appear to reason half +as carefully as the folks who get the better of them. The continued +kindness of her sister was this comfort to Little Dorrit. It was nothing +to her that the kindness took the form of tolerant patronage; she was +used to that. It was nothing to her that it kept her in a tributary +position, and showed her in attendance on the flaming car in which Miss +Fanny sat on an elevated seat, exacting homage; she sought no better +place. Always admiring Fanny's beauty, and grace, and readiness, and not +now asking herself how much of her disposition to be strongly attached +to Fanny was due to her own heart, and how much to Fanny's, she gave her +all the sisterly fondness her great heart contained. + +The wholesale amount of Prunes and Prism which Mrs General infused into +the family life, combined with the perpetual plunges made by Fanny into +society, left but a very small residue of any natural deposit at the +bottom of the mixture. This rendered confidences with Fanny doubly +precious to Little Dorrit, and heightened the relief they afforded her. + +'Amy,' said Fanny to her one night when they were alone, after a day so +tiring that Little Dorrit was quite worn out, though Fanny would have +taken another dip into society with the greatest pleasure in life, 'I +am going to put something into your little head. You won't guess what it +is, I suspect.' + +'I don't think that's likely, dear,' said Little Dorrit. + +'Come, I'll give you a clue, child,' said Fanny. 'Mrs General.' + +Prunes and Prism, in a thousand combinations, having been wearily in the +ascendant all day--everything having been surface and varnish and show +without substance--Little Dorrit looked as if she had hoped that Mrs +General was safely tucked up in bed for some hours. + +'_Now_, can you guess, Amy?' said Fanny. + +'No, dear. Unless I have done anything,' said Little Dorrit, rather +alarmed, and meaning anything calculated to crack varnish and ruffle +surface. + +Fanny was so very much amused by the misgiving, that she took up her +favourite fan (being then seated at her dressing-table with her armoury +of cruel instruments about her, most of them reeking from the heart +of Sparkler), and tapped her sister frequently on the nose with it, +laughing all the time. + +'Oh, our Amy, our Amy!' said Fanny. 'What a timid little goose our Amy +is! But this is nothing to laugh at. On the contrary, I am very cross, +my dear.' + +'As it is not with me, Fanny, I don't mind,' returned her sister, +smiling. + +'Ah! But I do mind,' said Fanny, 'and so will you, Pet, when I enlighten +you. Amy, has it never struck you that somebody is monstrously polite to +Mrs General?' + +'Everybody is polite to Mrs General,' said Little Dorrit. 'Because--' + +'Because she freezes them into it?' interrupted Fanny. 'I don't mean +that; quite different from that. Come! Has it never struck you, Amy, +that Pa is monstrously polite to Mrs General.' + +Amy, murmuring 'No,' looked quite confounded. + +'No; I dare say not. But he is,' said Fanny. 'He is, Amy. And remember +my words. Mrs General has designs on Pa!' + +'Dear Fanny, do you think it possible that Mrs General has designs on +any one?' + +'Do I think it possible?' retorted Fanny. 'My love, I know it. I tell +you she has designs on Pa. And more than that, I tell you Pa considers +her such a wonder, such a paragon of accomplishment, and such an +acquisition to our family, that he is ready to get himself into a state +of perfect infatuation with her at any moment. And that opens a pretty +picture of things, I hope? Think of me with Mrs General for a Mama!' + +Little Dorrit did not reply, 'Think of me with Mrs General for a Mama;' +but she looked anxious, and seriously inquired what had led Fanny to +these conclusions. + +'Lord, my darling,' said Fanny, tartly. 'You might as well ask me how +I know when a man is struck with myself! But, of course I do know. It +happens pretty often: but I always know it. I know this in much the same +way, I suppose. At all events, I know it.' + +'You never heard Papa say anything?' + +'Say anything?' repeated Fanny. 'My dearest, darling child, what +necessity has he had, yet awhile, to say anything?' + +'And you have never heard Mrs General say anything?' + +'My goodness me, Amy,' returned Fanny, 'is she the sort of woman to say +anything? Isn't it perfectly plain and clear that she has nothing to do +at present but to hold herself upright, keep her aggravating gloves on, +and go sweeping about? Say anything! If she had the ace of trumps in her +hand at whist, she wouldn't say anything, child. It would come out when +she played it.' + +'At least, you may be mistaken, Fanny. Now, may you not?' + +'O yes, I _may_ be,' said Fanny, 'but I am not. However, I am glad you +can contemplate such an escape, my dear, and I am glad that you can take +this for the present with sufficient coolness to think of such a chance. +It makes me hope that you may be able to bear the connection. I should +not be able to bear it, and I should not try. I'd marry young Sparkler +first.' + +'O, you would never marry him, Fanny, under any circumstances.' + +'Upon my word, my dear,' rejoined that young lady with exceeding +indifference, 'I wouldn't positively answer even for that. There's +no knowing what might happen. Especially as I should have many +opportunities, afterwards, of treating that woman, his mother, in her +own style. Which I most decidedly should not be slow to avail myself of, +Amy.' + +No more passed between the sisters then; but what had passed gave the +two subjects of Mrs General and Mr Sparkler great prominence in Little +Dorrit's mind, and thenceforth she thought very much of both. + +Mrs General, having long ago formed her own surface to such perfection +that it hid whatever was below it (if anything), no observation was to +be made in that quarter. Mr Dorrit was undeniably very polite to her +and had a high opinion of her; but Fanny, impetuous at most times, might +easily be wrong for all that. Whereas, the Sparkler question was on the +different footing that any one could see what was going on there, and +Little Dorrit saw it and pondered on it with many doubts and wonderings. + +The devotion of Mr Sparkler was only to be equalled by the caprice +and cruelty of his enslaver. Sometimes she would prefer him to such +distinction of notice, that he would chuckle aloud with joy; next day, +or next hour, she would overlook him so completely, and drop him into +such an abyss of obscurity, that he would groan under a weak pretence of +coughing. The constancy of his attendance never touched Fanny: though he +was so inseparable from Edward, that, when that gentleman wished for +a change of society, he was under the irksome necessity of gliding out +like a conspirator in disguised boats and by secret doors and back ways; +though he was so solicitous to know how Mr Dorrit was, that he called +every other day to inquire, as if Mr Dorrit were the prey of an +intermittent fever; though he was so constantly being paddled up and +down before the principal windows, that he might have been supposed to +have made a wager for a large stake to be paddled a thousand miles in +a thousand hours; though whenever the gondola of his mistress left the +gate, the gondola of Mr Sparkler shot out from some watery ambush +and gave chase, as if she were a fair smuggler and he a custom-house +officer. It was probably owing to this fortification of the natural +strength of his constitution with so much exposure to the air, and the +salt sea, that Mr Sparkler did not pine outwardly; but, whatever the +cause, he was so far from having any prospect of moving his mistress by +a languishing state of health, that he grew bluffer every day, and that +peculiarity in his appearance of seeming rather a swelled boy than +a young man, became developed to an extraordinary degree of ruddy +puffiness. + +Blandois calling to pay his respects, Mr Dorrit received him with +affability as the friend of Mr Gowan, and mentioned to him his idea of +commissioning Mr Gowan to transmit him to posterity. Blandois highly +extolling it, it occurred to Mr Dorrit that it might be agreeable to +Blandois to communicate to his friend the great opportunity reserved +for him. Blandois accepted the commission with his own free elegance of +manner, and swore he would discharge it before he was an hour older. On +his imparting the news to Gowan, that Master gave Mr Dorrit to the +Devil with great liberality some round dozen of times (for he resented +patronage almost as much as he resented the want of it), and was +inclined to quarrel with his friend for bringing him the message. + +'It may be a defect in my mental vision, Blandois,' said he, 'but may I +die if I see what you have to do with this.' + +'Death of my life,' replied Blandois, 'nor I neither, except that I +thought I was serving my friend.' + +'By putting an upstart's hire in his pocket?' said Gowan, frowning. +'Do you mean that? Tell your other friend to get his head painted for +the sign of some public-house, and to get it done by a sign-painter. Who +am I, and who is he?' + +'Professore,' returned the ambassador, 'and who is Blandois?' + +Without appearing at all interested in the latter question, Gowan +angrily whistled Mr Dorrit away. But, next day, he resumed the subject +by saying in his off-hand manner and with a slighting laugh, 'Well, +Blandois, when shall we go to this Maecenas of yours? We journeymen must +take jobs when we can get them. When shall we go and look after this +job?' + +'When you will,' said the injured Blandois, 'as you please. What have I +to do with it? What is it to me?' + +'I can tell you what it is to me,' said Gowan. 'Bread and cheese. One +must eat! So come along, my Blandois.' + +Mr Dorrit received them in the presence of his daughters and of Mr +Sparkler, who happened, by some surprising accident, to be calling +there. 'How are you, Sparkler?' said Gowan carelessly. 'When you have +to live by your mother wit, old boy, I hope you may get on better than I +do.' + +Mr Dorrit then mentioned his proposal. 'Sir,' said Gowan, laughing, +after receiving it gracefully enough, 'I am new to the trade, and not +expert at its mysteries. I believe I ought to look at you in various +lights, tell you you are a capital subject, and consider when I shall be +sufficiently disengaged to devote myself with the necessary enthusiasm +to the fine picture I mean to make of you. I assure you,' and he laughed +again, 'I feel quite a traitor in the camp of those dear, gifted, good, +noble fellows, my brother artists, by not doing the hocus-pocus better. +But I have not been brought up to it, and it's too late to learn it. +Now, the fact is, I am a very bad painter, but not much worse than the +generality. If you are going to throw away a hundred guineas or so, I +am as poor as a poor relation of great people usually is, and I shall be +very much obliged to you, if you'll throw them away upon me. I'll do the +best I can for the money; and if the best should be bad, why even then, +you may probably have a bad picture with a small name to it, instead of +a bad picture with a large name to it.' + +This tone, though not what he had expected, on the whole suited Mr +Dorrit remarkably well. It showed that the gentleman, highly connected, +and not a mere workman, would be under an obligation to him. He +expressed his satisfaction in placing himself in Mr Gowan's hands, and +trusted that he would have the pleasure, in their characters of private +gentlemen, of improving his acquaintance. + +'You are very good,' said Gowan. 'I have not forsworn society since I +joined the brotherhood of the brush (the most delightful fellows on the +face of the earth), and am glad enough to smell the old fine gunpowder +now and then, though it did blow me into mid-air and my present calling. +You'll not think, Mr Dorrit,' and here he laughed again in the easiest +way, 'that I am lapsing into the freemasonry of the craft--for it's not +so; upon my life I can't help betraying it wherever I go, though, by +Jupiter, I love and honour the craft with all my might--if I propose a +stipulation as to time and place?' + +Ha! Mr Dorrit could erect no--hum--suspicion of that kind on Mr Gowan's +frankness. + +'Again you are very good,' said Gowan. 'Mr Dorrit, I hear you are going +to Rome. I am going to Rome, having friends there. Let me begin to do +you the injustice I have conspired to do you, there--not here. We shall +all be hurried during the rest of our stay here; and though there's not +a poorer man with whole elbows in Venice, than myself, I have not quite +got all the Amateur out of me yet--comprising the trade again, you +see!--and can't fall on to order, in a hurry, for the mere sake of the +sixpences.' + +These remarks were not less favourably received by Mr Dorrit than their +predecessors. They were the prelude to the first reception of Mr and Mrs +Gowan at dinner, and they skilfully placed Gowan on his usual ground in +the new family. + +His wife, too, they placed on her usual ground. Miss Fanny understood, +with particular distinctness, that Mrs Gowan's good looks had cost her +husband very dear; that there had been a great disturbance about her +in the Barnacle family; and that the Dowager Mrs Gowan, nearly +heart-broken, had resolutely set her face against the marriage until +overpowered by her maternal feelings. Mrs General likewise clearly +understood that the attachment had occasioned much family grief and +dissension. Of honest Mr Meagles no mention was made; except that it +was natural enough that a person of that sort should wish to raise his +daughter out of his own obscurity, and that no one could blame him for +trying his best to do so. + +Little Dorrit's interest in the fair subject of this easily accepted +belief was too earnest and watchful to fail in accurate observation. She +could see that it had its part in throwing upon Mrs Gowan the touch of a +shadow under which she lived, and she even had an instinctive knowledge +that there was not the least truth in it. But it had an influence in +placing obstacles in the way of her association with Mrs Gowan by making +the Prunes and Prism school excessively polite to her, but not very +intimate with her; and Little Dorrit, as an enforced sizar of that +college, was obliged to submit herself humbly to its ordinances. + +Nevertheless, there was a sympathetic understanding already +established between the two, which would have carried them over +greater difficulties, and made a friendship out of a more restricted +intercourse. As though accidents were determined to be favourable to +it, they had a new assurance of congeniality in the aversion which each +perceived that the other felt towards Blandois of Paris; an aversion +amounting to the repugnance and horror of a natural antipathy towards an +odious creature of the reptile kind. + +And there was a passive congeniality between them, besides this active +one. To both of them, Blandois behaved in exactly the same manner; and +to both of them his manner had uniformly something in it, which +they both knew to be different from his bearing towards others. The +difference was too minute in its expression to be perceived by others, +but they knew it to be there. A mere trick of his evil eyes, a mere turn +of his smooth white hand, a mere hair's-breadth of addition to the fall +of his nose and the rise of the moustache in the most frequent movement +of his face, conveyed to both of them, equally, a swagger personal to +themselves. It was as if he had said, 'I have a secret power in this +quarter. I know what I know.' + +This had never been felt by them both in so great a degree, and never +by each so perfectly to the knowledge of the other, as on a day when he +came to Mr Dorrit's to take his leave before quitting Venice. Mrs +Gowan was herself there for the same purpose, and he came upon the +two together; the rest of the family being out. The two had not been +together five minutes, and the peculiar manner seemed to convey to them, +'You were going to talk about me. Ha! Behold me here to prevent it!' + +'Gowan is coming here?' said Blandois, with a smile. + +Mrs Gowan replied he was not coming. + +'Not coming!' said Blandois. 'Permit your devoted servant, when you +leave here, to escort you home.' + +'Thank you: I am not going home.' + +'Not going home!' said Blandois. 'Then I am forlorn.' + +That he might be; but he was not so forlorn as to roam away and leave +them together. He sat entertaining them with his finest compliments, and +his choicest conversation; but he conveyed to them, all the time, 'No, +no, no, dear ladies. Behold me here expressly to prevent it!' + +He conveyed it to them with so much meaning, and he had such a +diabolical persistency in him, that at length, Mrs Gowan rose to depart. +On his offering his hand to Mrs Gowan to lead her down the staircase, +she retained Little Dorrit's hand in hers, with a cautious pressure, and +said, 'No, thank you. But, if you will please to see if my boatman is +there, I shall be obliged to you.' + +It left him no choice but to go down before them. As he did so, hat in +hand, Mrs Gowan whispered: + +'He killed the dog.' + +'Does Mr Gowan know it?' Little Dorrit whispered. + +'No one knows it. Don't look towards me; look towards him. He will turn +his face in a moment. No one knows it, but I am sure he did. You are?' + +'I--I think so,' Little Dorrit answered. + +'Henry likes him, and he will not think ill of him; he is so generous +and open himself. But you and I feel sure that we think of him as he +deserves. He argued with Henry that the dog had been already poisoned +when he changed so, and sprang at him. Henry believes it, but we do not. +I see he is listening, but can't hear. Good-bye, my love! Good-bye!' + +The last words were spoken aloud, as the vigilant Blandois stopped, +turned his head, and looked at them from the bottom of the staircase. +Assuredly he did look then, though he looked his politest, as if any +real philanthropist could have desired no better employment than to lash +a great stone to his neck, and drop him into the water flowing beyond +the dark arched gateway in which he stood. No such benefactor to mankind +being on the spot, he handed Mrs Gowan to her boat, and stood there +until it had shot out of the narrow view; when he handed himself into +his own boat and followed. + +Little Dorrit had sometimes thought, and now thought again as she +retraced her steps up the staircase, that he had made his way too easily +into her father's house. But so many and such varieties of people did +the same, through Mr Dorrit's participation in his elder daughter's +society mania, that it was hardly an exceptional case. A perfect fury +for making acquaintances on whom to impress their riches and importance, +had seized the House of Dorrit. + +It appeared on the whole, to Little Dorrit herself, that this same +society in which they lived, greatly resembled a superior sort of +Marshalsea. Numbers of people seemed to come abroad, pretty much +as people had come into the prison; through debt, through idleness, +relationship, curiosity, and general unfitness for getting on at home. +They were brought into these foreign towns in the custody of couriers +and local followers, just as the debtors had been brought into the +prison. They prowled about the churches and picture-galleries, much in +the old, dreary, prison-yard manner. They were usually going away again +to-morrow or next week, and rarely knew their own minds, and seldom did +what they said they would do, or went where they said they would go: in +all this again, very like the prison debtors. They paid high for poor +accommodation, and disparaged a place while they pretended to like it: +which was exactly the Marshalsea custom. They were envied when they went +away by people left behind, feigning not to want to go: and that again +was the Marshalsea habit invariably. A certain set of words and phrases, +as much belonging to tourists as the College and the Snuggery belonged +to the jail, was always in their mouths. They had precisely the same +incapacity for settling down to anything, as the prisoners used to have; +they rather deteriorated one another, as the prisoners used to do; and +they wore untidy dresses, and fell into a slouching way of life: still, +always like the people in the Marshalsea. + +The period of the family's stay at Venice came, in its course, to an +end, and they moved, with their retinue, to Rome. Through a repetition +of the former Italian scenes, growing more dirty and more haggard as +they went on, and bringing them at length to where the very air was +diseased, they passed to their destination. A fine residence had been +taken for them on the Corso, and there they took up their abode, in a +city where everything seemed to be trying to stand still for ever on +the ruins of something else--except the water, which, following eternal +laws, tumbled and rolled from its glorious multitude of fountains. + +Here it seemed to Little Dorrit that a change came over the Marshalsea +spirit of their society, and that Prunes and Prism got the upper hand. +Everybody was walking about St Peter's and the Vatican on somebody +else's cork legs, and straining every visible object through somebody +else's sieve. Nobody said what anything was, but everybody said what the +Mrs Generals, Mr Eustace, or somebody else said it was. The whole body +of travellers seemed to be a collection of voluntary human sacrifices, +bound hand and foot, and delivered over to Mr Eustace and his +attendants, to have the entrails of their intellects arranged according +to the taste of that sacred priesthood. Through the rugged remains +of temples and tombs and palaces and senate halls and theatres and +amphitheatres of ancient days, hosts of tongue-tied and blindfolded +moderns were carefully feeling their way, incessantly repeating Prunes +and Prism in the endeavour to set their lips according to the received +form. Mrs General was in her pure element. Nobody had an opinion. There +was a formation of surface going on around her on an amazing scale, and +it had not a flaw of courage or honest free speech in it. + +Another modification of Prunes and Prism insinuated itself on Little +Dorrit's notice very shortly after their arrival. They received an early +visit from Mrs Merdle, who led that extensive department of life in the +Eternal City that winter; and the skilful manner in which she and Fanny +fenced with one another on the occasion, almost made her quiet sister +wink, like the glittering of small-swords. + +'So delighted,' said Mrs Merdle, 'to resume an acquaintance so +inauspiciously begun at Martigny.' + +'At Martigny, of course,' said Fanny. 'Charmed, I am sure!' + +'I understand,' said Mrs Merdle, 'from my son Edmund Sparkler, that +he has already improved that chance occasion. He has returned quite +transported with Venice.' + +'Indeed?' returned the careless Fanny. 'Was he there long?' + +'I might refer that question to Mr Dorrit,' said Mrs Merdle, turning the +bosom towards that gentleman; 'Edmund having been so much indebted to +him for rendering his stay agreeable.' + +'Oh, pray don't speak of it,' returned Fanny. 'I believe Papa had the +pleasure of inviting Mr Sparkler twice or thrice,--but it was nothing. +We had so many people about us, and kept such open house, that if he had +that pleasure, it was less than nothing.' + +'Except, my dear,' said Mr Dorrit, 'except--ha--as it afforded me +unusual gratification to--hum--show by any means, however slight and +worthless, the--ha, hum--high estimation in which, in--ha--common with +the rest of the world, I hold so distinguished and princely a character +as Mr Merdle's.' + +The bosom received this tribute in its most engaging manner. 'Mr +Merdle,' observed Fanny, as a means of dismissing Mr Sparkler into the +background, 'is quite a theme of Papa's, you must know, Mrs Merdle.' + +'I have been--ha--disappointed, madam,' said Mr Dorrit, 'to understand +from Mr Sparkler that there is no great--hum--probability of Mr Merdle's +coming abroad.' + +'Why, indeed,' said Mrs Merdle, 'he is so much engaged and in such +request, that I fear not. He has not been able to get abroad for years. +You, Miss Dorrit, I believe have been almost continually abroad for a +long time.' + +'Oh dear yes,' drawled Fanny, with the greatest hardihood. 'An immense +number of years.' + +'So I should have inferred,' said Mrs Merdle. + +'Exactly,' said Fanny. + +'I trust, however,' resumed Mr Dorrit, 'that if I have not +the--hum--great advantage of becoming known to Mr Merdle on this side +of the Alps or Mediterranean, I shall have that honour on returning to +England. It is an honour I particularly desire and shall particularly +esteem.' + +'Mr Merdle,' said Mrs Merdle, who had been looking admiringly at Fanny +through her eye-glass, 'will esteem it, I am sure, no less.' + +Little Dorrit, still habitually thoughtful and solitary though no longer +alone, at first supposed this to be mere Prunes and Prism. But as her +father when they had been to a brilliant reception at Mrs Merdle's, +harped at their own family breakfast-table on his wish to know Mr +Merdle, with the contingent view of benefiting by the advice of that +wonderful man in the disposal of his fortune, she began to think it had +a real meaning, and to entertain a curiosity on her own part to see the +shining light of the time. + + + + +CHAPTER 8. The Dowager Mrs Gowan is reminded that 'It Never Does' + + +While the waters of Venice and the ruins of Rome were sunning themselves +for the pleasure of the Dorrit family, and were daily being sketched +out of all earthly proportion, lineament, and likeness, by travelling +pencils innumerable, the firm of Doyce and Clennam hammered away in +Bleeding Heart Yard, and the vigorous clink of iron upon iron was heard +there through the working hours. + +The younger partner had, by this time, brought the business into sound +trim; and the elder, left free to follow his own ingenious devices, had +done much to enhance the character of the factory. As an ingenious man, +he had necessarily to encounter every discouragement that the ruling +powers for a length of time had been able by any means to put in the way +of this class of culprits; but that was only reasonable self-defence in +the powers, since How to do it must obviously be regarded as the natural +and mortal enemy of How not to do it. In this was to be found the basis +of the wise system, by tooth and nail upheld by the Circumlocution +Office, of warning every ingenious British subject to be ingenious +at his peril: of harassing him, obstructing him, inviting robbers (by +making his remedy uncertain, and expensive) to plunder him, and at the +best of confiscating his property after a short term of enjoyment, as +though invention were on a par with felony. The system had uniformly +found great favour with the Barnacles, and that was only reasonable, +too; for one who worthily invents must be in earnest, and the Barnacles +abhorred and dreaded nothing half so much. That again was very +reasonable; since in a country suffering under the affliction of a great +amount of earnestness, there might, in an exceeding short space of time, +be not a single Barnacle left sticking to a post. + +Daniel Doyce faced his condition with its pains and penalties attached +to it, and soberly worked on for the work's sake. Clennam cheering him +with a hearty co-operation, was a moral support to him, besides doing +good service in his business relation. The concern prospered, and the +partners were fast friends. + +But Daniel could not forget the old design of so many years. It was not +in reason to be expected that he should; if he could have lightly +forgotten it, he could never have conceived it, or had the patience and +perseverance to work it out. So Clennam thought, when he sometimes +observed him of an evening looking over the models and drawings, and +consoling himself by muttering with a sigh as he put them away again, +that the thing was as true as it ever was. + +To show no sympathy with so much endeavour, and so much disappointment, +would have been to fail in what Clennam regarded as among the implied +obligations of his partnership. A revival of the passing interest in +the subject which had been by chance awakened at the door of the +Circumlocution Office, originated in this feeling. He asked his partner +to explain the invention to him; 'having a lenient consideration,' he +stipulated, 'for my being no workman, Doyce.' + +'No workman?' said Doyce. 'You would have been a thorough workman if you +had given yourself to it. You have as good a head for understanding such +things as I have met with.' + +'A totally uneducated one, I am sorry to add,' said Clennam. + +'I don't know that,' returned Doyce, 'and I wouldn't have you say +that. No man of sense who has been generally improved, and has improved +himself, can be called quite uneducated as to anything. I don't +particularly favour mysteries. I would as soon, on a fair and clear +explanation, be judged by one class of man as another, provided he had +the qualification I have named.' + +'At all events,' said Clennam--'this sounds as if we were exchanging +compliments, but we know we are not--I shall have the advantage of as +plain an explanation as can be given.' + +'Well!' said Daniel, in his steady even way,'I'll try to make it so.' + +He had the power, often to be found in union with such a character, of +explaining what he himself perceived, and meant, with the direct force +and distinctness with which it struck his own mind. His manner of +demonstration was so orderly and neat and simple, that it was not easy +to mistake him. There was something almost ludicrous in the complete +irreconcilability of a vague conventional notion that he must be a +visionary man, with the precise, sagacious travelling of his eye and +thumb over the plans, their patient stoppages at particular points, +their careful returns to other points whence little channels of +explanation had to be traced up, and his steady manner of making +everything good and everything sound at each important stage, before +taking his hearer on a line's-breadth further. His dismissal of himself +from his description, was hardly less remarkable. He never said, I +discovered this adaptation or invented that combination; but showed the +whole thing as if the Divine artificer had made it, and he had happened +to find it; so modest he was about it, such a pleasant touch of respect +was mingled with his quiet admiration of it, and so calmly convinced he +was that it was established on irrefragable laws. + +Not only that evening, but for several succeeding evenings, Clennam was +quite charmed by this investigation. The more he pursued it, and the +oftener he glanced at the grey head bending over it, and the shrewd eye +kindling with pleasure in it and love of it--instrument for probing his +heart though it had been made for twelve long years--the less he could +reconcile it to his younger energy to let it go without one effort more. +At length he said: + +'Doyce, it came to this at last--that the business was to be sunk with +Heaven knows how many more wrecks, or begun all over again?' + +'Yes,' returned Doyce, 'that's what the noblemen and gentlemen made of +it after a dozen years.' + +'And pretty fellows too!' said Clennam, bitterly. + +'The usual thing!' observed Doyce. 'I must not make a martyr of myself, +when I am one of so large a company.' + +'Relinquish it, or begin it all over again?' mused Clennam. + +'That was exactly the long and the short of it,' said Doyce. + +'Then, my friend,' cried Clennam, starting up and taking his +work-roughened hand, 'it shall be begun all over again!' + +Doyce looked alarmed, and replied in a hurry--for him, 'No, no. Better +put it by. Far better put it by. It will be heard of, one day. I can +put it by. You forget, my good Clennam; I _have_ put it by. It's all at an +end.' + +'Yes, Doyce,' returned Clennam, 'at an end as far as your efforts and +rebuffs are concerned, I admit, but not as far as mine are. I am younger +than you: I have only once set foot in that precious office, and I am +fresh game for them. Come! I'll try them. You shall do exactly as you +have been doing since we have been together. I will add (as I easily +can) to what I have been doing, the attempt to get public justice done +to you; and, unless I have some success to report, you shall hear no +more of it.' + +Daniel Doyce was still reluctant to consent, and again and again urged +that they had better put it by. But it was natural that he should +gradually allow himself to be over-persuaded by Clennam, and should +yield. Yield he did. So Arthur resumed the long and hopeless labour of +striving to make way with the Circumlocution Office. + +The waiting-rooms of that Department soon began to be familiar with his +presence, and he was generally ushered into them by its janitors much +as a pickpocket might be shown into a police-office; the principal +difference being that the object of the latter class of public business +is to keep the pickpocket, while the Circumlocution object was to +get rid of Clennam. However, he was resolved to stick to the Great +Department; and so the work of form-filling, corresponding, minuting, +memorandum-making, signing, counter-signing, counter-counter-signing, +referring backwards and forwards, and referring sideways, crosswise, and +zig-zag, recommenced. + +Here arises a feature of the Circumlocution Office, not previously +mentioned in the present record. When that admirable Department got +into trouble, and was, by some infuriated members of Parliament whom +the smaller Barnacles almost suspected of labouring under diabolic +possession, attacked on the merits of no individual case, but as an +Institution wholly abominable and Bedlamite; then the noble or right +honourable Barnacle who represented it in the House, would smite that +member and cleave him asunder, with a statement of the quantity of +business (for the prevention of business) done by the Circumlocution +Office. Then would that noble or right honourable Barnacle hold in his +hand a paper containing a few figures, to which, with the permission +of the House, he would entreat its attention. Then would the inferior +Barnacles exclaim, obeying orders,'Hear, Hear, Hear!' and 'Read!' Then +would the noble or right honourable Barnacle perceive, sir, from this +little document, which he thought might carry conviction even to the +perversest mind (Derisive laughter and cheering from the Barnacle fry), +that within the short compass of the last financial half-year, this +much-maligned Department (Cheers) had written and received fifteen +thousand letters (Loud cheers), had written twenty-four thousand minutes +(Louder cheers), and thirty-two thousand five hundred and seventeen +memoranda (Vehement cheering). Nay, an ingenious gentleman connected +with the Department, and himself a valuable public servant, had done +him the favour to make a curious calculation of the amount of stationery +consumed in it during the same period. It formed a part of this same +short document; and he derived from it the remarkable fact that the +sheets of foolscap paper it had devoted to the public service would pave +the footways on both sides of Oxford Street from end to end, and leave +nearly a quarter of a mile to spare for the park (Immense cheering and +laughter); while of tape--red tape--it had used enough to stretch, in +graceful festoons, from Hyde Park Corner to the General Post Office. +Then, amidst a burst of official exultation, would the noble or right +honourable Barnacle sit down, leaving the mutilated fragments of the +Member on the field. No one, after that exemplary demolition of him, +would have the hardihood to hint that the more the Circumlocution Office +did, the less was done, and that the greatest blessing it could confer +on an unhappy public would be to do nothing. + +With sufficient occupation on his hands, now that he had this additional +task--such a task had many and many a serviceable man died of before his +day--Arthur Clennam led a life of slight variety. Regular visits to his +mother's dull sick room, and visits scarcely less regular to Mr Meagles +at Twickenham, were its only changes during many months. + +He sadly and sorely missed Little Dorrit. He had been prepared to miss +her very much, but not so much. He knew to the full extent only through +experience, what a large place in his life was left blank when her +familiar little figure went out of it. He felt, too, that he must +relinquish the hope of its return, understanding the family character +sufficiently well to be assured that he and she were divided by a broad +ground of separation. The old interest he had had in her, and her old +trusting reliance on him, were tinged with melancholy in his mind: so +soon had change stolen over them, and so soon had they glided into the +past with other secret tendernesses. + +When he received her letter he was greatly moved, but did not the less +sensibly feel that she was far divided from him by more than distance. +It helped him to a clearer and keener perception of the place assigned +him by the family. He saw that he was cherished in her grateful +remembrance secretly, and that they resented him with the jail and the +rest of its belongings. + +Through all these meditations which every day of his life crowded about +her, he thought of her otherwise in the old way. She was his innocent +friend, his delicate child, his dear Little Dorrit. This very change +of circumstances fitted curiously in with the habit, begun on the night +when the roses floated away, of considering himself as a much older man +than his years really made him. He regarded her from a point of view +which in its remoteness, tender as it was, he little thought would have +been unspeakable agony to her. He speculated about her future destiny, +and about the husband she might have, with an affection for her which +would have drained her heart of its dearest drop of hope, and broken it. + +Everything about him tended to confirm him in the custom of looking on +himself as an elderly man, from whom such aspirations as he had combated +in the case of Minnie Gowan (though that was not so long ago either, +reckoning by months and seasons), were finally departed. His relations +with her father and mother were like those on which a widower son-in-law +might have stood. If the twin sister who was dead had lived to pass away +in the bloom of womanhood, and he had been her husband, the nature of +his intercourse with Mr and Mrs Meagles would probably have been just +what it was. This imperceptibly helped to render habitual the impression +within him, that he had done with, and dismissed that part of life. + +He invariably heard of Minnie from them, as telling them in her letters +how happy she was, and how she loved her husband; but inseparable from +that subject, he invariably saw the old cloud on Mr Meagles's face. Mr +Meagles had never been quite so radiant since the marriage as before. +He had never quite recovered the separation from Pet. He was the same +good-humoured, open creature; but as if his face, from being much turned +towards the pictures of his two children which could show him only one +look, unconsciously adopted a characteristic from them, it always had +now, through all its changes of expression, a look of loss in it. + +One wintry Saturday when Clennam was at the cottage, the Dowager Mrs +Gowan drove up, in the Hampton Court equipage which pretended to be the +exclusive equipage of so many individual proprietors. She descended, in +her shady ambuscade of green fan, to favour Mr and Mrs Meagles with a +call. + +'And how do you both do, Papa and Mama Meagles?' said she, encouraging +her humble connections. 'And when did you last hear from or about my +poor fellow?' + +My poor fellow was her son; and this mode of speaking of him politely +kept alive, without any offence in the world, the pretence that he had +fallen a victim to the Meagles' wiles. + +'And the dear pretty one?' said Mrs Gowan. 'Have you later news of her +than I have?' + +Which also delicately implied that her son had been captured by mere +beauty, and under its fascination had forgone all sorts of worldly +advantages. + +'I am sure,' said Mrs Gowan, without straining her attention on the +answers she received, 'it's an unspeakable comfort to know they continue +happy. My poor fellow is of such a restless disposition, and has been +so used to roving about, and to being inconstant and popular among all +manner of people, that it's the greatest comfort in life. I suppose +they're as poor as mice, Papa Meagles?' + +Mr Meagles, fidgety under the question, replied, 'I hope not, ma'am. I +hope they will manage their little income.' + +'Oh! my dearest Meagles!' returned the lady, tapping him on the arm with +the green fan and then adroitly interposing it between a yawn and +the company, 'how can you, as a man of the world and one of the most +business-like of human beings--for you know you are business-like, and a +great deal too much for us who are not--' + +(Which went to the former purpose, by making Mr Meagles out to be an +artful schemer.) + +'--How can you talk about their managing their little means? My poor +dear fellow! The idea of his managing hundreds! And the sweet pretty +creature too. The notion of her managing! Papa Meagles! Don't!' + +'Well, ma'am,' said Mr Meagles, gravely, 'I am sorry to admit, then, +that Henry certainly does anticipate his means.' + +'My dear good man--I use no ceremony with you, because we are a kind of +relations;--positively, Mama Meagles,' exclaimed Mrs Gowan cheerfully, +as if the absurd coincidence then flashed upon her for the first time, +'a kind of relations! My dear good man, in this world none of us can +have _everything_ our own way.' + +This again went to the former point, and showed Mr Meagles with all good +breeding that, so far, he had been brilliantly successful in his deep +designs. Mrs Gowan thought the hit so good a one, that she dwelt upon +it; repeating 'Not _everything_. No, no; in this world we must not expect +_everything_, Papa Meagles.' + +'And may I ask, ma'am,' retorted Mr Meagles, a little heightened in +colour, 'who does expect everything?' + +'Oh, nobody, nobody!' said Mrs Gowan. 'I was going to say--but you put +me out. You interrupting Papa, what was I going to say?' + +Drooping her large green fan, she looked musingly at Mr Meagles while +she thought about it; a performance not tending to the cooling of that +gentleman's rather heated spirits. + +'Ah! Yes, to be sure!' said Mrs Gowan. 'You must remember that my poor +fellow has always been accustomed to expectations. They may have been +realised, or they may not have been realised--' + +'Let us say, then, may not have been realised,' observed Mr Meagles. + +The Dowager for a moment gave him an angry look; but tossed it off with +her head and her fan, and pursued the tenor of her way in her former +manner. + +'It makes no difference. My poor fellow has been accustomed to that +sort of thing, and of course you knew it, and were prepared for the +consequences. I myself always clearly foresaw the consequences, and am +not surprised. And you must not be surprised. In fact, can't be +surprised. Must have been prepared for it.' + +Mr Meagles looked at his wife and at Clennam; bit his lip; and coughed. + +'And now here's my poor fellow,' Mrs Gowan pursued, 'receiving notice +that he is to hold himself in expectation of a baby, and all the +expenses attendant on such an addition to his family! Poor Henry! But +it can't be helped now; it's too late to help it now. Only don't talk of +anticipating means, Papa Meagles, as a discovery; because that would be +too much.' + +'Too much, ma'am?' said Mr Meagles, as seeking an explanation. + +'There, there!' said Mrs Gowan, putting him in his inferior place with +an expressive action of her hand. 'Too much for my poor fellow's +mother to bear at this time of day. They are fast married, and can't +be unmarried. There, there! I know that! You needn't tell me that, Papa +Meagles. I know it very well. What was it I said just now? That it was +a great comfort they continued happy. It is to be hoped they will still +continue happy. It is to be hoped Pretty One will do everything she +can to make my poor fellow happy, and keep him contented. Papa and Mama +Meagles, we had better say no more about it. We never did look at this +subject from the same side, and we never shall. There, there! Now I am +good.' + +Truly, having by this time said everything she could say in maintenance +of her wonderfully mythical position, and in admonition to Mr Meagles +that he must not expect to bear his honours of alliance too cheaply, Mrs +Gowan was disposed to forgo the rest. If Mr Meagles had submitted to +a glance of entreaty from Mrs Meagles, and an expressive gesture from +Clennam, he would have left her in the undisturbed enjoyment of this +state of mind. But Pet was the darling and pride of his heart; and if he +could ever have championed her more devotedly, or loved her better, than +in the days when she was the sunlight of his house, it would have been +now, when, as its daily grace and delight, she was lost to it. + +'Mrs Gowan, ma'am,' said Mr Meagles, 'I have been a plain man all my +life. If I was to try--no matter whether on myself, on somebody else, +or both--any genteel mystifications, I should probably not succeed in +them.' + +'Papa Meagles,' returned the Dowager, with an affable smile, but with +the bloom on her cheeks standing out a little more vividly than usual as +the neighbouring surface became paler,'probably not.' + +'Therefore, my good madam,' said Mr Meagles, at great pains to +restrain himself, 'I hope I may, without offence, ask to have no such +mystification played off upon me.' + +'Mama Meagles,' observed Mrs Gowan, 'your good man is incomprehensible.' + +Her turning to that worthy lady was an artifice to bring her into the +discussion, quarrel with her, and vanquish her. Mr Meagles interposed to +prevent that consummation. + +'Mother,' said he, 'you are inexpert, my dear, and it is not a fair +match. Let me beg of you to remain quiet. Come, Mrs Gowan, come! Let +us try to be sensible; let us try to be good-natured; let us try to +be fair. Don't you pity Henry, and I won't pity Pet. And don't be +one-sided, my dear madam; it's not considerate, it's not kind. Don't +let us say that we hope Pet will make Henry happy, or even that we hope +Henry will make Pet happy,' (Mr Meagles himself did not look happy as he +spoke the words,) 'but let us hope they will make each other happy.' + +'Yes, sure, and there leave it, father,' said Mrs Meagles the +kind-hearted and comfortable. + +'Why, mother, no,' returned Mr Meagles, 'not exactly there. I can't +quite leave it there; I must say just half-a-dozen words more. Mrs +Gowan, I hope I am not over-sensitive. I believe I don't look it.' + +'Indeed you do not,' said Mrs Gowan, shaking her head and the great +green fan together, for emphasis. + +'Thank you, ma'am; that's well. Notwithstanding which, I feel a +little--I don't want to use a strong word--now shall I say hurt?' +asked Mr Meagles at once with frankness and moderation, and with a +conciliatory appeal in his tone. + +'Say what you like,' answered Mrs Gowan. 'It is perfectly indifferent to +me.' + +'No, no, don't say that,' urged Mr Meagles, 'because that's not +responding amiably. I feel a little hurt when I hear references made to +consequences having been foreseen, and to its being too late now, and so +forth.' + +'_Do_ you, Papa Meagles?' said Mrs Gowan. 'I am not surprised.' + +'Well, ma'am,' reasoned Mr Meagles, 'I was in hopes you would have been +at least surprised, because to hurt me wilfully on so tender a subject +is surely not generous.' + +'I am not responsible,' said Mrs Gowan, 'for your conscience, you know.' + +Poor Mr Meagles looked aghast with astonishment. + +'If I am unluckily obliged to carry a cap about with me, which is yours +and fits you,' pursued Mrs Gowan, 'don't blame me for its pattern, Papa +Meagles, I beg!' + +'Why, good Lord, ma'am!' Mr Meagles broke out, 'that's as much as to +state--' + +'Now, Papa Meagles, Papa Meagles,' said Mrs Gowan, who became extremely +deliberate and prepossessing in manner whenever that gentleman became at +all warm, 'perhaps to prevent confusion, I had better speak for myself +than trouble your kindness to speak for me. It's as much as to state, +you begin. If you please, I will finish the sentence. It is as much as +to state--not that I wish to press it or even recall it, for it is of no +use now, and my only wish is to make the best of existing +circumstances--that from the first to the last I always objected to this +match of yours, and at a very late period yielded a most unwilling +consent to it.' + +'Mother!' cried Mr Meagles. 'Do you hear this! Arthur! Do you hear +this!' + +'The room being of a convenient size,' said Mrs Gowan, looking about +as she fanned herself, 'and quite charmingly adapted in all respects to +conversation, I should imagine I am audible in any part of it.' + +Some moments passed in silence, before Mr Meagles could hold himself in +his chair with sufficient security to prevent his breaking out of it at +the next word he spoke. At last he said: 'Ma'am, I am very unwilling to +revive them, but I must remind you what my opinions and my course were, +all along, on that unfortunate subject.' + +'O, my dear sir!' said Mrs Gowan, smiling and shaking her head with +accusatory intelligence, 'they were well understood by me, I assure +you.' + +'I never, ma'am,' said Mr Meagles, 'knew unhappiness before that time, +I never knew anxiety before that time. It was a time of such distress to +me that--' That Mr Meagles could really say no more about it, in short, +but passed his handkerchief before his face. + +'I understood the whole affair,' said Mrs Gowan, composedly looking +over her fan. 'As you have appealed to Mr Clennam, I may appeal to Mr +Clennam, too. He knows whether I did or not.' + +'I am very unwilling,' said Clennam, looked to by all parties, 'to take +any share in this discussion, more especially because I wish to preserve +the best understanding and the clearest relations with Mr Henry Gowan. +I have very strong reasons indeed, for entertaining that wish. Mrs Gowan +attributed certain views of furthering the marriage to my friend here, +in conversation with me before it took place; and I endeavoured to +undeceive her. I represented that I knew him (as I did and do) to be +strenuously opposed to it, both in opinion and action.' + +'You see?' said Mrs Gowan, turning the palms of her hands towards Mr +Meagles, as if she were Justice herself, representing to him that he had +better confess, for he had not a leg to stand on. 'You see? Very good! +Now Papa and Mama Meagles both!' here she rose; 'allow me to take the +liberty of putting an end to this rather formidable controversy. I will +not say another word upon its merits. I will only say that it is an +additional proof of what one knows from all experience; that this kind +of thing never answers--as my poor fellow himself would say, that it +never pays--in one word, that it never does.' + +Mr Meagles asked, What kind of thing? + +'It is in vain,' said Mrs Gowan, 'for people to attempt to get on +together who have such extremely different antecedents; who are jumbled +against each other in this accidental, matrimonial sort of way; and who +cannot look at the untoward circumstance which has shaken them together +in the same light. It never does.' + +Mr Meagles was beginning, 'Permit me to say, ma'am--' + +'No, don't,' returned Mrs Gowan. 'Why should you! It is an ascertained +fact. It never does. I will therefore, if you please, go my way, leaving +you to yours. I shall at all times be happy to receive my poor fellow's +pretty wife, and I shall always make a point of being on the most +affectionate terms with her. But as to these terms, semi-family and +semi-stranger, semi-goring and semi-boring, they form a state of things +quite amusing in its impracticability. I assure you it never does.' + +The Dowager here made a smiling obeisance, rather to the room than to +any one in it, and therewith took a final farewell of Papa and Mama +Meagles. Clennam stepped forward to hand her to the Pill-Box which was +at the service of all the Pills in Hampton Court Palace; and she got +into that vehicle with distinguished serenity, and was driven away. + +Thenceforth the Dowager, with a light and careless humour, often +recounted to her particular acquaintance how, after a hard trial, she +had found it impossible to know those people who belonged to Henry's +wife, and who had made that desperate set to catch him. Whether she had +come to the conclusion beforehand, that to get rid of them would give +her favourite pretence a better air, might save her some occasional +inconvenience, and could risk no loss (the pretty creature being fast +married, and her father devoted to her), was best known to herself. +Though this history has its opinion on that point too, and decidedly in +the affirmative. + + + + +CHAPTER 9. Appearance and Disappearance + + +'Arthur, my dear boy,' said Mr Meagles, on the evening of the following +day, 'Mother and I have been talking this over, and we don't feel +comfortable in remaining as we are. That elegant connection of +ours--that dear lady who was here yesterday--' + +'I understand,' said Arthur. + +'Even that affable and condescending ornament of society,' pursued Mr +Meagles, 'may misrepresent us, we are afraid. We could bear a great +deal, Arthur, for her sake; but we think we would rather not bear that, +if it was all the same to her.' + +'Good,' said Arthur. 'Go on.' + +'You see,' proceeded Mr Meagles 'it might put us wrong with our +son-in-law, it might even put us wrong with our daughter, and it might +lead to a great deal of domestic trouble. You see, don't you?' + +'Yes, indeed,' returned Arthur, 'there is much reason in what you say.' +He had glanced at Mrs Meagles, who was always on the good and sensible +side; and a petition had shone out of her honest face that he would +support Mr Meagles in his present inclinings. + +'So we are very much disposed, are Mother and I,' said Mr Meagles, 'to +pack up bags and baggage and go among the Allongers and Marshongers once +more. I mean, we are very much disposed to be off, strike right through +France into Italy, and see our Pet.' + +'And I don't think,' replied Arthur, touched by the motherly +anticipation in the bright face of Mrs Meagles (she must have been very +like her daughter, once), 'that you could do better. And if you ask me +for my advice, it is that you set off to-morrow.' + +'Is it really, though?' said Mr Meagles. 'Mother, this is being backed +in an idea!' + +Mother, with a look which thanked Clennam in a manner very agreeable to +him, answered that it was indeed. + +'The fact is, besides, Arthur,' said Mr Meagles, the old cloud coming +over his face, 'that my son-in-law is already in debt again, and that I +suppose I must clear him again. It may be as well, even on this account, +that I should step over there, and look him up in a friendly way. Then +again, here's Mother foolishly anxious (and yet naturally too) about +Pet's state of health, and that she should not be left to feel lonesome +at the present time. It's undeniably a long way off, Arthur, and a +strange place for the poor love under all the circumstances. Let her be +as well cared for as any lady in that land, still it is a long way off. +just as Home is Home though it's never so Homely, why you see,' said Mr +Meagles, adding a new version to the proverb, 'Rome is Rome, though it's +never so Romely.' + +'All perfectly true,' observed Arthur, 'and all sufficient reasons for +going.' + +'I am glad you think so; it decides me. Mother, my dear, you may get +ready. We have lost our pleasant interpreter (she spoke three foreign +languages beautifully, Arthur; you have heard her many a time), and you +must pull me through it, Mother, as well as you can. I require a deal +of pulling through, Arthur,' said Mr Meagles, shaking his head, 'a deal +of pulling through. I stick at everything beyond a noun-substantive--and +I stick at him, if he's at all a tight one.' + +'Now I think of it,' returned Clennam, 'there's Cavalletto. He shall +go with you, if you like. I could not afford to lose him, but you will +bring him safe back.' + +'Well! I am much obliged to you, my boy,' said Mr Meagles, turning it +over, 'but I think not. No, I think I'll be pulled through by Mother. +Cavallooro (I stick at his very name to start with, and it sounds like +the chorus to a comic song) is so necessary to you, that I don't like +the thought of taking him away. More than that, there's no saying when +we may come home again; and it would never do to take him away for +an indefinite time. The cottage is not what it was. It only holds two +little people less than it ever did, Pet, and her poor unfortunate maid +Tattycoram; but it seems empty now. Once out of it, there's no knowing +when we may come back to it. No, Arthur, I'll be pulled through by +Mother.' + +They would do best by themselves perhaps, after all, Clennam thought; +therefore did not press his proposal. + +'If you would come down and stay here for a change, when it wouldn't +trouble you,' Mr Meagles resumed, 'I should be glad to think--and so +would Mother too, I know--that you were brightening up the old place +with a bit of life it was used to when it was full, and that the Babies +on the wall there had a kind eye upon them sometimes. You so belong to +the spot, and to them, Arthur, and we should every one of us have been +so happy if it had fallen out--but, let us see--how's the weather for +travelling now?' Mr Meagles broke off, cleared his throat, and got up to +look out of the window. + +They agreed that the weather was of high promise; and Clennam kept the +talk in that safe direction until it had become easy again, when he +gently diverted it to Henry Gowan and his quick sense and agreeable +qualities when he was delicately dealt with; he likewise dwelt on the +indisputable affection he entertained for his wife. Clennam did not fail +of his effect upon good Mr Meagles, whom these commendations greatly +cheered; and who took Mother to witness that the single and cordial +desire of his heart in reference to their daughter's husband, was +harmoniously to exchange friendship for friendship, and confidence for +confidence. Within a few hours the cottage furniture began to be wrapped +up for preservation in the family absence--or, as Mr Meagles expressed +it, the house began to put its hair in papers--and within a few days +Father and Mother were gone, Mrs Tickit and Dr Buchan were posted, as of +yore, behind the parlour blind, and Arthur's solitary feet were rustling +among the dry fallen leaves in the garden walks. + +As he had a liking for the spot, he seldom let a week pass without +paying a visit. Sometimes, he went down alone from Saturday to Monday; +sometimes his partner accompanied him; sometimes, he merely strolled for +an hour or two about the house and garden, saw that all was right, and +returned to London again. At all times, and under all circumstances, Mrs +Tickit, with her dark row of curls, and Dr Buchan, sat in the parlour +window, looking out for the family return. + +On one of his visits Mrs Tickit received him with the words, 'I +have something to tell you, Mr Clennam, that will surprise you.' So +surprising was the something in question, that it actually brought Mrs +Tickit out of the parlour window and produced her in the garden walk, +when Clennam went in at the gate on its being opened for him. + +'What is it, Mrs Tickit?' said he. + +'Sir,' returned that faithful housekeeper, having taken him into the +parlour and closed the door; 'if ever I saw the led away and deluded +child in my life, I saw her identically in the dusk of yesterday +evening.' + +'You don't mean Tatty--' + +'Coram yes I do!' quoth Mrs Tickit, clearing the disclosure at a leap. + +'Where?' + +'Mr Clennam,' returned Mrs Tickit, 'I was a little heavy in my eyes, +being that I was waiting longer than customary for my cup of tea which +was then preparing by Mary Jane. I was not sleeping, nor what a person +would term correctly, dozing. I was more what a person would strictly +call watching with my eyes closed.' + +Without entering upon an inquiry into this curious abnormal condition, +Clennam said, 'Exactly. Well?' + +'Well, sir,' proceeded Mrs Tickit, 'I was thinking of one thing and +thinking of another, just as you yourself might. Just as anybody might.' + +'Precisely so,' said Clennam. 'Well?' + +'And when I do think of one thing and do think of another,' pursued +Mrs Tickit, 'I hardly need to tell you, Mr Clennam, that I think of the +family. Because, dear me! a person's thoughts,' Mrs Tickit said this +with an argumentative and philosophic air, 'however they may stray, will +go more or less on what is uppermost in their minds. They _will_ do it, +sir, and a person can't prevent them.' + +Arthur subscribed to this discovery with a nod. + +'You find it so yourself, sir, I'll be bold to say,' said Mrs Tickit, +'and we all find it so. It an't our stations in life that changes us, Mr +Clennam; thoughts is free!--As I was saying, I was thinking of one thing +and thinking of another, and thinking very much of the family. Not of +the family in the present times only, but in the past times too. For +when a person does begin thinking of one thing and thinking of another +in that manner, as it's getting dark, what I say is, that all times +seem to be present, and a person must get out of that state and consider +before they can say which is which.' + +He nodded again; afraid to utter a word, lest it should present any new +opening to Mrs Tickit's conversational powers. + +'In consequence of which,' said Mrs Tickit, 'when I quivered my eyes and +saw her actual form and figure looking in at the gate, I let them close +again without so much as starting, for that actual form and figure came +so pat to the time when it belonged to the house as much as mine or your +own, that I never thought at the moment of its having gone away. But, +sir, when I quivered my eyes again, and saw that it wasn't there, then +it all flooded upon me with a fright, and I jumped up.' + +'You ran out directly?' said Clennam. + +'I ran out,' assented Mrs Tickit, 'as fast as ever my feet would carry +me; and if you'll credit it, Mr Clennam, there wasn't in the whole +shining Heavens, no not so much as a finger of that young woman.' + +Passing over the absence from the firmament of this novel constellation, +Arthur inquired of Mrs Tickit if she herself went beyond the gate? + +'Went to and fro, and high and low,' said Mrs Tickit, 'and saw no sign +of her!' + +He then asked Mrs Tickit how long a space of time she supposed there +might have been between the two sets of ocular quiverings she had +experienced? Mrs Tickit, though minutely circumstantial in her reply, +had no settled opinion between five seconds and ten minutes. She was so +plainly at sea on this part of the case, and had so clearly been +startled out of slumber, that Clennam was much disposed to regard the +appearance as a dream. Without hurting Mrs Tickit's feelings with that +infidel solution of her mystery, he took it away from the cottage with +him; and probably would have retained it ever afterwards if a +circumstance had not soon happened to change his opinion. + +He was passing at nightfall along the Strand, and the lamp-lighter was +going on before him, under whose hand the street-lamps, blurred by the +foggy air, burst out one after another, like so many blazing sunflowers +coming into full-blow all at once,--when a stoppage on the pavement, +caused by a train of coal-waggons toiling up from the wharves at the +river-side, brought him to a stand-still. He had been walking quickly, +and going with some current of thought, and the sudden check given to +both operations caused him to look freshly about him, as people under +such circumstances usually do. + +Immediately, he saw in advance--a few people intervening, but still +so near to him that he could have touched them by stretching out +his arm--Tattycoram and a strange man of a remarkable appearance: a +swaggering man, with a high nose, and a black moustache as false in its +colour as his eyes were false in their expression, who wore his heavy +cloak with the air of a foreigner. His dress and general appearance were +those of a man on travel, and he seemed to have very recently joined +the girl. In bending down (being much taller than she was), listening +to whatever she said to him, he looked over his shoulder with the +suspicious glance of one who was not unused to be mistrustful that his +footsteps might be dogged. It was then that Clennam saw his face; as +his eyes lowered on the people behind him in the aggregate, without +particularly resting upon Clennam's face or any other. + +He had scarcely turned his head about again, and it was still bent down, +listening to the girl, when the stoppage ceased, and the obstructed +stream of people flowed on. Still bending his head and listening to the +girl, he went on at her side, and Clennam followed them, resolved to +play this unexpected play out, and see where they went. + +He had hardly made the determination (though he was not long about it), +when he was again as suddenly brought up as he had been by the stoppage. +They turned short into the Adelphi,--the girl evidently leading,--and +went straight on, as if they were going to the Terrace which overhangs +the river. + +There is always, to this day, a sudden pause in that place to the roar +of the great thoroughfare. The many sounds become so deadened that the +change is like putting cotton in the ears, or having the head thickly +muffled. At that time the contrast was far greater; there being no small +steam-boats on the river, no landing places but slippery wooden stairs +and foot-causeways, no railroad on the opposite bank, no hanging bridge +or fish-market near at hand, no traffic on the nearest bridge of stone, +nothing moving on the stream but watermen's wherries and coal-lighters. +Long and broad black tiers of the latter, moored fast in the mud as if +they were never to move again, made the shore funereal and silent after +dark; and kept what little water-movement there was, far out towards +mid-stream. At any hour later than sunset, and not least at that hour +when most of the people who have anything to eat at home are going home +to eat it, and when most of those who have nothing have hardly yet slunk +out to beg or steal, it was a deserted place and looked on a deserted +scene. + +Such was the hour when Clennam stopped at the corner, observing the girl +and the strange man as they went down the street. The man's footsteps +were so noisy on the echoing stones that he was unwilling to add the +sound of his own. But when they had passed the turning and were in the +darkness of the dark corner leading to the terrace, he made after them +with such indifferent appearance of being a casual passenger on his way, +as he could assume. + +When he rounded the dark corner, they were walking along the terrace +towards a figure which was coming towards them. If he had seen it by +itself, under such conditions of gas-lamp, mist, and distance, he might +not have known it at first sight, but with the figure of the girl to +prompt him, he at once recognised Miss Wade. + +He stopped at the corner, seeming to look back expectantly up the street +as if he had made an appointment with some one to meet him there; but he +kept a careful eye on the three. When they came together, the man took +off his hat, and made Miss Wade a bow. The girl appeared to say a few +words as though she presented him, or accounted for his being late, or +early, or what not; and then fell a pace or so behind, by herself. Miss +Wade and the man then began to walk up and down; the man having the +appearance of being extremely courteous and complimentary in manner; +Miss Wade having the appearance of being extremely haughty. + +When they came down to the corner and turned, she was saying, 'If I +pinch myself for it, sir, that is my business. Confine yourself to +yours, and ask me no question.' + +'By Heaven, ma'am!' he replied, making her another bow. 'It was my +profound respect for the strength of your character, and my admiration +of your beauty.' + +'I want neither the one nor the other from any one,' said she, 'and +certainly not from you of all creatures. Go on with your report.' + +'Am I pardoned?' he asked, with an air of half abashed gallantry. + +'You are paid,' she said, 'and that is all you want.' + +Whether the girl hung behind because she was not to hear the business, +or as already knowing enough about it, Clennam could not determine. They +turned and she turned. She looked away at the river, as she walked +with her hands folded before her; and that was all he could make of +her without showing his face. There happened, by good fortune, to be a +lounger really waiting for some one; and he sometimes looked over the +railing at the water, and sometimes came to the dark corner and looked +up the street, rendering Arthur less conspicuous. + +When Miss Wade and the man came back again, she was saying, 'You must +wait until to-morrow.' + +'A thousand pardons?' he returned. 'My faith! Then it's not convenient +to-night?' + +'No. I tell you I must get it before I can give it to you.' + +She stopped in the roadway, as if to put an end to the conference. He of +course stopped too. And the girl stopped. + +'It's a little inconvenient,' said the man. 'A little. But, Holy Blue! +that's nothing in such a service. I am without money to-night, by +chance. I have a good banker in this city, but I would not wish to draw +upon the house until the time when I shall draw for a round sum.' + +'Harriet,' said Miss Wade, 'arrange with him--this gentleman here--for +sending him some money to-morrow.' She said it with a slur of the word +gentleman which was more contemptuous than any emphasis, and walked +slowly on. + +The man bent his head again, and the girl spoke to him as they both +followed her. Clennam ventured to look at the girl as they moved away. +He could note that her rich black eyes were fastened upon the man with a +scrutinising expression, and that she kept at a little distance from +him, as they walked side by side to the further end of the terrace. + +A loud and altered clank upon the pavement warned him, before he could +discern what was passing there, that the man was coming back alone. +Clennam lounged into the road, towards the railing; and the man passed +at a quick swing, with the end of his cloak thrown over his shoulder, +singing a scrap of a French song. + +The whole vista had no one in it now but himself. The lounger had +lounged out of view, and Miss Wade and Tattycoram were gone. More than +ever bent on seeing what became of them, and on having some information +to give his good friend, Mr Meagles, he went out at the further end of +the terrace, looking cautiously about him. He rightly judged that, at +first at all events, they would go in a contrary direction from their +late companion. He soon saw them in a neighbouring bye-street, which was +not a thoroughfare, evidently allowing time for the man to get well +out of their way. They walked leisurely arm-in-arm down one side of the +street, and returned on the opposite side. When they came back to the +street-corner, they changed their pace for the pace of people with an +object and a distance before them, and walked steadily away. Clennam, no +less steadily, kept them in sight. + +They crossed the Strand, and passed through Covent Garden (under the +windows of his old lodging where dear Little Dorrit had come that +night), and slanted away north-east, until they passed the great +building whence Tattycoram derived her name, and turned into the Gray's +Inn Road. Clennam was quite at home here, in right of Flora, not to +mention the Patriarch and Pancks, and kept them in view with ease. He +was beginning to wonder where they might be going next, when that wonder +was lost in the greater wonder with which he saw them turn into the +Patriarchal street. That wonder was in its turn swallowed up on the +greater wonder with which he saw them stop at the Patriarchal door. A +low double knock at the bright brass knocker, a gleam of light into the +road from the opened door, a brief pause for inquiry and answer and the +door was shut, and they were housed. + +After looking at the surrounding objects for assurance that he was +not in an odd dream, and after pacing a little while before the house, +Arthur knocked at the door. It was opened by the usual maid-servant, +and she showed him up at once, with her usual alacrity, to Flora's +sitting-room. + +There was no one with Flora but Mr F.'s Aunt, which respectable +gentlewoman, basking in a balmy atmosphere of tea and toast, was +ensconced in an easy-chair by the fireside, with a little table at her +elbow, and a clean white handkerchief spread over her lap on which +two pieces of toast at that moment awaited consumption. Bending over +a steaming vessel of tea, and looking through the steam, and breathing +forth the steam, like a malignant Chinese enchantress engaged in the +performance of unholy rites, Mr F.'s Aunt put down her great teacup and +exclaimed, 'Drat him, if he an't come back again!' + +It would seem from the foregoing exclamation that this uncompromising +relative of the lamented Mr F., measuring time by the acuteness of her +sensations and not by the clock, supposed Clennam to have lately gone +away; whereas at least a quarter of a year had elapsed since he had had +the temerity to present himself before her. + +'My goodness Arthur!' cried Flora, rising to give him a cordial +reception, 'Doyce and Clennam what a start and a surprise for though not +far from the machinery and foundry business and surely might be taken +sometimes if at no other time about mid-day when a glass of sherry and a +humble sandwich of whatever cold meat in the larder might not come amiss +nor taste the worse for being friendly for you know you buy it somewhere +and wherever bought a profit must be made or they would never keep the +place it stands to reason without a motive still never seen and learnt +now not to be expected, for as Mr F. himself said if seeing is believing +not seeing is believing too and when you don't see you may fully believe +you're not remembered not that I expect you Arthur Doyce and Clennam to +remember me why should I for the days are gone but bring another teacup +here directly and tell her fresh toast and pray sit near the fire.' + +Arthur was in the greatest anxiety to explain the object of his +visit; but was put off for the moment, in spite of himself, by what he +understood of the reproachful purport of these words, and by the genuine +pleasure she testified in seeing him. + +'And now pray tell me something all you know,' said Flora, drawing her +chair near to his, 'about the good dear quiet little thing and all the +changes of her fortunes carriage people now no doubt and horses without +number most romantic, a coat of arms of course and wild beasts on their +hind legs showing it as if it was a copy they had done with mouths from +ear to ear good gracious, and has she her health which is the first +consideration after all for what is wealth without it Mr F. himself so +often saying when his twinges came that sixpence a day and find yourself +and no gout so much preferable, not that he could have lived on anything +like it being the last man or that the previous little thing though far +too familiar an expression now had any tendency of that sort much too +slight and small but looked so fragile bless her?' + +Mr F.'s Aunt, who had eaten a piece of toast down to the crust, here +solemnly handed the crust to Flora, who ate it for her as a matter of +business. Mr F.'s Aunt then moistened her ten fingers in slow succession +at her lips, and wiped them in exactly the same order on the white +handkerchief; then took the other piece of toast, and fell to work +upon it. While pursuing this routine, she looked at Clennam with an +expression of such intense severity that he felt obliged to look at her +in return, against his personal inclinations. + +'She is in Italy, with all her family, Flora,' he said, when the dreaded +lady was occupied again. + +'In Italy is she really?' said Flora, 'with the grapes growing +everywhere and lava necklaces and bracelets too that land of poetry with +burning mountains picturesque beyond belief though if the organ-boys +come away from the neighbourhood not to be scorched nobody can wonder +being so young and bringing their white mice with them most humane, and +is she really in that favoured land with nothing but blue about her and +dying gladiators and Belvederes though Mr F. himself did not believe +for his objection when in spirits was that the images could not be true +there being no medium between expensive quantities of linen badly got +up and all in creases and none whatever, which certainly does not seem +probable though perhaps in consequence of the extremes of rich and poor +which may account for it.' + +Arthur tried to edge a word in, but Flora hurried on again. + +'Venice Preserved too,' said she, 'I think you have been there is it +well or ill preserved for people differ so and Maccaroni if they really +eat it like the conjurors why not cut it shorter, you are acquainted +Arthur--dear Doyce and Clennam at least not dear and most assuredly +not Doyce for I have not the pleasure but pray excuse me--acquainted I +believe with Mantua what _has_ it got to do with Mantua-making for I never +have been able to conceive?' + +'I believe there is no connection, Flora, between the two,' Arthur was +beginning, when she caught him up again. + +'Upon your word no isn't there I never did but that's like me I run away +with an idea and having none to spare I keep it, alas there was a time +dear Arthur that is to say decidedly not dear nor Arthur neither but you +understand me when one bright idea gilded the what's-his-name horizon of +et cetera but it is darkly clouded now and all is over.' + +Arthur's increasing wish to speak of something very different was by +this time so plainly written on his face, that Flora stopped in a tender +look, and asked him what it was? + +'I have the greatest desire, Flora, to speak to some one who is now in +this house--with Mr Casby no doubt. Some one whom I saw come in, and +who, in a misguided and deplorable way, has deserted the house of a +friend of mine.' + +'Papa sees so many and such odd people,' said Flora, rising, 'that I +shouldn't venture to go down for any one but you Arthur but for you I +would willingly go down in a diving-bell much more a dining-room and +will come back directly if you'll mind and at the same time not mind Mr +F.'s Aunt while I'm gone.' + +With those words and a parting glance, Flora bustled out, leaving +Clennam under dreadful apprehension of this terrible charge. + +The first variation which manifested itself in Mr F.'s Aunt's demeanour +when she had finished her piece of toast, was a loud and prolonged +sniff. Finding it impossible to avoid construing this demonstration +into a defiance of himself, its gloomy significance being unmistakable, +Clennam looked plaintively at the excellent though prejudiced lady +from whom it emanated, in the hope that she might be disarmed by a meek +submission. + +'None of your eyes at me,' said Mr F.'s Aunt, shivering with hostility. +'Take that.' + +'That' was the crust of the piece of toast. Clennam accepted the boon +with a look of gratitude, and held it in his hand under the pressure +of a little embarrassment, which was not relieved when Mr F.'s Aunt, +elevating her voice into a cry of considerable power, exclaimed, 'He +has a proud stomach, this chap! He's too proud a chap to eat it!' and, +coming out of her chair, shook her venerable fist so very close to his +nose as to tickle the surface. But for the timely return of Flora, to +find him in this difficult situation, further consequences might +have ensued. Flora, without the least discomposure or surprise, but +congratulating the old lady in an approving manner on being 'very lively +to-night', handed her back to her chair. + +'He has a proud stomach, this chap,' said Mr F.'s relation, on being +reseated. 'Give him a meal of chaff!' + +'Oh! I don't think he would like that, aunt,' returned Flora. + +'Give him a meal of chaff, I tell you,' said Mr F.'s Aunt, glaring round +Flora on her enemy. 'It's the only thing for a proud stomach. Let him +eat up every morsel. Drat him, give him a meal of chaff!' + +Under a general pretence of helping him to this refreshment, Flora got +him out on the staircase; Mr F.'s Aunt even then constantly reiterating, +with inexpressible bitterness, that he was 'a chap,' and had a 'proud +stomach,' and over and over again insisting on that equine provision +being made for him which she had already so strongly prescribed. + +'Such an inconvenient staircase and so many corner-stairs Arthur,' +whispered Flora, 'would you object to putting your arm round me under my +pelerine?' + +With a sense of going down-stairs in a highly-ridiculous manner, Clennam +descended in the required attitude, and only released his fair burden at +the dining-room door; indeed, even there she was rather difficult to +be got rid of, remaining in his embrace to murmur, 'Arthur, for mercy's +sake, don't breathe it to papa!' + +She accompanied Arthur into the room, where the Patriarch sat alone, +with his list shoes on the fender, twirling his thumbs as if he had +never left off. The youthful Patriarch, aged ten, looked out of his +picture-frame above him with no calmer air than he. Both smooth heads +were alike beaming, blundering, and bumpy. + +'Mr Clennam, I am glad to see you. I hope you are well, sir, I hope you +are well. Please to sit down, please to sit down.' + +'I had hoped, sir,' said Clennam, doing so, and looking round with a +face of blank disappointment, 'not to find you alone.' + +'Ah, indeed?' said the Patriarch, sweetly. 'Ah, indeed?' + +'I told you so you know papa,' cried Flora. + +'Ah, to be sure!' returned the Patriarch. 'Yes, just so. Ah, to be +sure!' + +'Pray, sir,'demanded Clennam, anxiously, 'is Miss Wade gone?' + +'Miss--? Oh, you call her Wade,' returned Mr Casby. 'Highly proper.' + +Arthur quickly returned, 'What do you call her?' + +'Wade,' said Mr Casby. 'Oh, always Wade.' + +After looking at the philanthropic visage and the long silky white hair +for a few seconds, during which Mr Casby twirled his thumbs, and smiled +at the fire as if he were benevolently wishing it to burn him that he +might forgive it, Arthur began: + +'I beg your pardon, Mr Casby--' + +'Not so, not so,' said the Patriarch, 'not so.' + +'--But, Miss Wade had an attendant with her--a young woman brought up +by friends of mine, over whom her influence is not considered very +salutary, and to whom I should be glad to have the opportunity of giving +the assurance that she has not yet forfeited the interest of those +protectors.' + +'Really, really?' returned the Patriarch. + +'Will you therefore be so good as to give me the address of Miss Wade?' + +'Dear, dear, dear!' said the Patriarch, 'how very unfortunate! If you +had only sent in to me when they were here! I observed the young woman, +Mr Clennam. A fine full-coloured young woman, Mr Clennam, with very dark +hair and very dark eyes. If I mistake not, if I mistake not?' + +Arthur assented, and said once more with new expression, 'If you would +be so good as to give me the address.' + +'Dear, dear, dear!' exclaimed the Patriarch in sweet regret. 'Tut, tut, +tut! what a pity, what a pity! I have no address, sir. Miss Wade mostly +lives abroad, Mr Clennam. She has done so for some years, and she is (if +I may say so of a fellow-creature and a lady) fitful and uncertain to a +fault, Mr Clennam. I may not see her again for a long, long time. I may +never see her again. What a pity, what a pity!' + +Clennam saw now, that he had as much hope of getting assistance out of +the Portrait as out of the Patriarch; but he said nevertheless: + +'Mr Casby, could you, for the satisfaction of the friends I have +mentioned, and under any obligation of secrecy that you may consider it +your duty to impose, give me any information at all touching Miss Wade? +I have seen her abroad, and I have seen her at home, but I know nothing +of her. Could you give me any account of her whatever?' + +'None,' returned the Patriarch, shaking his big head with his utmost +benevolence. 'None at all. Dear, dear, dear! What a real pity that +she stayed so short a time, and you delayed! As confidential agency +business, agency business, I have occasionally paid this lady money; but +what satisfaction is it to you, sir, to know that?' + +'Truly, none at all,' said Clennam. + +'Truly,' assented the Patriarch, with a shining face as he +philanthropically smiled at the fire, 'none at all, sir. You hit the +wise answer, Mr Clennam. Truly, none at all, sir.' + +His turning of his smooth thumbs over one another as he sat there, was +so typical to Clennam of the way in which he would make the subject +revolve if it were pursued, never showing any new part of it nor +allowing it to make the smallest advance, that it did much to help to +convince him of his labour having been in vain. He might have taken any +time to think about it, for Mr Casby, well accustomed to get on anywhere +by leaving everything to his bumps and his white hair, knew his strength +to lie in silence. So there Casby sat, twirling and twirling, and making +his polished head and forehead look largely benevolent in every knob. + +With this spectacle before him, Arthur had risen to go, when from the +inner Dock where the good ship Pancks was hove down when out in no +cruising ground, the noise was heard of that steamer labouring towards +him. It struck Arthur that the noise began demonstratively far off, as +though Mr Pancks sought to impress on any one who might happen to think +about it, that he was working on from out of hearing. + +Mr Pancks and he shook hands, and the former brought his employer a +letter or two to sign. Mr Pancks in shaking hands merely scratched his +eyebrow with his left forefinger and snorted once, but Clennam, who +understood him better now than of old, comprehended that he had almost +done for the evening and wished to say a word to him outside. Therefore, +when he had taken his leave of Mr Casby, and (which was a more difficult +process) of Flora, he sauntered in the neighbourhood on Mr Pancks's line +of road. + +He had waited but a short time when Mr Pancks appeared. Mr Pancks +shaking hands again with another expressive snort, and taking off his +hat to put his hair up, Arthur thought he received his cue to speak to +him as one who knew pretty well what had just now passed. Therefore he +said, without any preface: + +'I suppose they were really gone, Pancks?' + +'Yes,' replied Pancks. 'They were really gone.' + +'Does he know where to find that lady?' + +'Can't say. I should think so.' + +Mr Pancks did not? No, Mr Pancks did not. Did Mr Pancks know anything +about her? + +'I expect,' rejoined that worthy, 'I know as much about her as she knows +about herself. She is somebody's child--anybody's, nobody's. Put her in +a room in London here with any six people old enough to be her parents, +and her parents may be there for anything she knows. They may be in any +house she sees, they may be in any churchyard she passes, she may run +against 'em in any street, she may make chance acquaintance of 'em at +any time; and never know it. She knows nothing about 'em. She knows +nothing about any relative whatever. Never did. Never will.' + +'Mr Casby could enlighten her, perhaps?' + +'May be,' said Pancks. 'I expect so, but don't know. He has long had +money (not overmuch as I make out) in trust to dole out to her when +she can't do without it. Sometimes she's proud and won't touch it for +a length of time; sometimes she's so poor that she must have it. She +writhes under her life. A woman more angry, passionate, reckless, +and revengeful never lived. She came for money to-night. Said she had +peculiar occasion for it.' + +'I think,' observed Clennam musing, 'I by chance know what occasion--I +mean into whose pocket the money is to go.' + +'Indeed?' said Pancks. 'If it's a compact, I recommend that party to be +exact in it. I wouldn't trust myself to that woman, young and handsome +as she is, if I had wronged her; no, not for twice my proprietor's +money! Unless,' Pancks added as a saving clause, 'I had a lingering +illness on me, and wanted to get it over.' + +Arthur, hurriedly reviewing his own observation of her, found it to +tally pretty nearly with Mr Pancks's view. + +'The wonder is to me,' pursued Pancks, 'that she has never done for my +proprietor, as the only person connected with her story she can lay +hold of. Mentioning that, I may tell you, between ourselves, that I am +sometimes tempted to do for him myself.' + +Arthur started and said, 'Dear me, Pancks, don't say that!' + +'Understand me,' said Pancks, extending five cropped coaly finger-nails +on Arthur's arm; 'I don't mean, cut his throat. But by all that's +precious, if he goes too far, I'll cut his hair!' + +Having exhibited himself in the new light of enunciating this tremendous +threat, Mr Pancks, with a countenance of grave import, snorted several +times and steamed away. + + + + +CHAPTER 10. The Dreams of Mrs Flintwinch thicken + + +The shady waiting-rooms of the Circumlocution Office, where he passed a +good deal of time in company with various troublesome Convicts who were +under sentence to be broken alive on that wheel, had afforded Arthur +Clennam ample leisure, in three or four successive days, to exhaust the +subject of his late glimpse of Miss Wade and Tattycoram. He had been +able to make no more of it and no less of it, and in this unsatisfactory +condition he was fain to leave it. + +During this space he had not been to his mother's dismal old house. +One of his customary evenings for repairing thither now coming round, +he left his dwelling and his partner at nearly nine o'clock, and slowly +walked in the direction of that grim home of his youth. + +It always affected his imagination as wrathful, mysterious, and sad; +and his imagination was sufficiently impressible to see the whole +neighbourhood under some tinge of its dark shadow. As he went along, +upon a dreary night, the dim streets by which he went, seemed all +depositories of oppressive secrets. The deserted counting-houses, with +their secrets of books and papers locked up in chests and safes; the +banking-houses, with their secrets of strong rooms and wells, the +keys of which were in a very few secret pockets and a very few secret +breasts; the secrets of all the dispersed grinders in the vast mill, +among whom there were doubtless plunderers, forgers, and trust-betrayers +of many sorts, whom the light of any day that dawned might reveal; he +could have fancied that these things, in hiding, imparted a heaviness +to the air. The shadow thickening and thickening as he approached its +source, he thought of the secrets of the lonely church-vaults, where the +people who had hoarded and secreted in iron coffers were in their turn +similarly hoarded, not yet at rest from doing harm; and then of the +secrets of the river, as it rolled its turbid tide between two frowning +wildernesses of secrets, extending, thick and dense, for many miles, and +warding off the free air and the free country swept by winds and wings +of birds. + +The shadow still darkening as he drew near the house, the melancholy +room which his father had once occupied, haunted by the appealing face +he had himself seen fade away with him when there was no other watcher +by the bed, arose before his mind. Its close air was secret. The gloom, +and must, and dust of the whole tenement, were secret. At the heart of +it his mother presided, inflexible of face, indomitable of will, firmly +holding all the secrets of her own and his father's life, and austerely +opposing herself, front to front, to the great final secret of all life. + +He had turned into the narrow and steep street from which the court of +enclosure wherein the house stood opened, when another footstep turned +into it behind him, and so close upon his own that he was jostled to the +wall. As his mind was teeming with these thoughts, the encounter took +him altogether unprepared, so that the other passenger had had time to +say, boisterously, 'Pardon! Not my fault!' and to pass on before the +instant had elapsed which was requisite to his recovery of the realities +about him. + +When that moment had flashed away, he saw that the man striding on +before him was the man who had been so much in his mind during the last +few days. It was no casual resemblance, helped out by the force of +the impression the man made upon him. It was the man; the man he had +followed in company with the girl, and whom he had overheard talking to +Miss Wade. + +The street was a sharp descent and was crooked too, and the man (who +although not drunk had the air of being flushed with some strong drink) +went down it so fast that Clennam lost him as he looked at him. With +no defined intention of following him, but with an impulse to keep the +figure in view a little longer, Clennam quickened his pace to pass the +twist in the street which hid him from his sight. On turning it, he saw +the man no more. + +Standing now, close to the gateway of his mother's house, he looked +down the street: but it was empty. There was no projecting shadow large +enough to obscure the man; there was no turning near that he could have +taken; nor had there been any audible sound of the opening and closing +of a door. Nevertheless, he concluded that the man must have had a key +in his hand, and must have opened one of the many house-doors and gone +in. + +Ruminating on this strange chance and strange glimpse, he turned into +the court-yard. As he looked, by mere habit, towards the feebly lighted +windows of his mother's room, his eyes encountered the figure he had +just lost, standing against the iron railings of the little waste +enclosure looking up at those windows and laughing to himself. Some of +the many vagrant cats who were always prowling about there by night, +and who had taken fright at him, appeared to have stopped when he had +stopped, and were looking at him with eyes by no means unlike his own +from tops of walls and porches, and other safe points of pause. He had +only halted for a moment to entertain himself thus; he immediately went +forward, throwing the end of his cloak off his shoulder as he went, +ascended the unevenly sunken steps, and knocked a sounding knock at the +door. + +Clennam's surprise was not so absorbing but that he took his resolution +without any incertitude. He went up to the door too, and ascended the +steps too. His friend looked at him with a braggart air, and sang to +himself. + + + 'Who passes by this road so late? + Compagnon de la Majolaine; + Who passes by this road so late? + Always gay!' + + +After which he knocked again. + +'You are impatient, sir,' said Arthur. + +'I am, sir. Death of my life, sir,' returned the stranger, 'it's my +character to be impatient!' + +The sound of Mistress Affery cautiously chaining the door before she +opened it, caused them both to look that way. Affery opened it a very +little, with a flaring candle in her hands and asked who was that, at +that time of night, with that knock! 'Why, Arthur!' she added with +astonishment, seeing him first. 'Not you sure? Ah, Lord save us! No,' +she cried out, seeing the other. 'Him again!' + +'It's true! Him again, dear Mrs Flintwinch,' cried the stranger. 'Open +the door, and let me take my dear friend Jeremiah to my arms! Open the +door, and let me hasten myself to embrace my Flintwinch!' + +'He's not at home,' cried Affery. + +'Fetch him!' cried the stranger. 'Fetch my Flintwinch! Tell him that it +is his old Blandois, who comes from arriving in England; tell him that +it is his little boy who is here, his cabbage, his well-beloved! Open +the door, beautiful Mrs Flintwinch, and in the meantime let me to pass +upstairs, to present my compliments--homage of Blandois--to my lady! My +lady lives always? It is well. Open then!' + +To Arthur's increased surprise, Mistress Affery, stretching her eyes +wide at himself, as if in warning that this was not a gentleman for +him to interfere with, drew back the chain, and opened the door. The +stranger, without ceremony, walked into the hall, leaving Arthur to +follow him. + +'Despatch then! Achieve then! Bring my Flintwinch! Announce me to my +lady!' cried the stranger, clanking about the stone floor. + +'Pray tell me, Affery,' said Arthur aloud and sternly, as he surveyed +him from head to foot with indignation; 'who is this gentleman?' + +'Pray tell me, Affery,' the stranger repeated in his turn, 'who--ha, ha, +ha!--who is this gentleman?' + +The voice of Mrs Clennam opportunely called from her chamber above, +'Affery, let them both come up. Arthur, come straight to me!' + +'Arthur?' exclaimed Blandois, taking off his hat at arm's length, +and bringing his heels together from a great stride in making him a +flourishing bow. 'The son of my lady? I am the all-devoted of the son of +my lady!' + +Arthur looked at him again in no more flattering manner than before, +and, turning on his heel without acknowledgment, went up-stairs. The +visitor followed him up-stairs. Mistress Affery took the key from behind +the door, and deftly slipped out to fetch her lord. + +A bystander, informed of the previous appearance of Monsieur Blandois +in that room, would have observed a difference in Mrs Clennam's present +reception of him. Her face was not one to betray it; and her suppressed +manner, and her set voice, were equally under her control. It wholly +consisted in her never taking her eyes off his face from the moment of +his entrance, and in her twice or thrice, when he was becoming noisy, +swaying herself a very little forward in the chair in which she sat +upright, with her hands immovable upon its elbows; as if she gave him +the assurance that he should be presently heard at any length he would. +Arthur did not fail to observe this; though the difference between the +present occasion and the former was not within his power of observation. + +'Madame,' said Blandois, 'do me the honour to present me to Monsieur, +your son. It appears to me, madame, that Monsieur, your son, is disposed +to complain of me. He is not polite.' + +'Sir,' said Arthur, striking in expeditiously, 'whoever you are, and +however you come to be here, if I were the master of this house I would +lose no time in placing you on the outside of it.' + +'But you are not,' said his mother, without looking at him. +'Unfortunately for the gratification of your unreasonable temper, you +are not the master, Arthur.' + +'I make no claim to be, mother. If I object to this person's manner of +conducting himself here, and object to it so much, that if I had any +authority here I certainly would not suffer him to remain a minute, I +object on your account.' + +'In the case of objection being necessary,' she returned, 'I could +object for myself. And of course I should.' + +The subject of their dispute, who had seated himself, laughed aloud, and +rapped his legs with his hand. + +'You have no right,' said Mrs Clennam, always intent on Blandois, +however directly she addressed her son, 'to speak to the prejudice of +any gentleman (least of all a gentleman from another country), because +he does not conform to your standard, or square his behaviour by your +rules. It is possible that the gentleman may, on similar grounds, object +to you.' + +'I hope so,' returned Arthur. + +'The gentleman,' pursued Mrs Clennam, 'on a former occasion brought +a letter of recommendation to us from highly esteemed and responsible +correspondents. I am perfectly unacquainted with the gentleman's object +in coming here at present. I am entirely ignorant of it, and cannot be +supposed likely to be able to form the remotest guess at its nature;' +her habitual frown became stronger, as she very slowly and weightily +emphasised those words; 'but, when the gentleman proceeds to explain +his object, as I shall beg him to have the goodness to do to myself and +Flintwinch, when Flintwinch returns, it will prove, no doubt, to be one +more or less in the usual way of our business, which it will be both our +business and our pleasure to advance. It can be nothing else.' + +'We shall see, madame!' said the man of business. + +'We shall see,' she assented. 'The gentleman is acquainted with +Flintwinch; and when the gentleman was in London last, I remember +to have heard that he and Flintwinch had some entertainment or +good-fellowship together. I am not in the way of knowing much that +passes outside this room, and the jingle of little worldly things beyond +it does not much interest me; but I remember to have heard that.' + +'Right, madame. It is true.' He laughed again, and whistled the burden +of the tune he had sung at the door. + +'Therefore, Arthur,' said his mother, 'the gentleman comes here as an +acquaintance, and no stranger; and it is much to be regretted that your +unreasonable temper should have found offence in him. I regret it. I say +so to the gentleman. You will not say so, I know; therefore I say it for +myself and Flintwinch, since with us two the gentleman's business lies.' + +The key of the door below was now heard in the lock, and the door was +heard to open and close. In due sequence Mr Flintwinch appeared; on +whose entrance the visitor rose from his chair, laughing loud, and +folded him in a close embrace. + +'How goes it, my cherished friend!' said he. 'How goes the world, my +Flintwinch? Rose-coloured? So much the better, so much the better! Ah, +but you look charming! Ah, but you look young and fresh as the flowers +of Spring! Ah, good little boy! Brave child, brave child!' + +While heaping these compliments on Mr Flintwinch, he rolled him about +with a hand on each of his shoulders, until the staggerings of that +gentleman, who under the circumstances was dryer and more twisted than +ever, were like those of a teetotum nearly spent. + +'I had a presentiment, last time, that we should be better and more +intimately acquainted. Is it coming on you, Flintwinch? Is it yet coming +on?' + +'Why, no, sir,' retorted Mr Flintwinch. 'Not unusually. Hadn't you +better be seated? You have been calling for some more of that port, sir, +I guess?' + +'Ah, Little joker! Little pig!' cried the visitor. 'Ha ha ha ha!' And +throwing Mr Flintwinch away, as a closing piece of raillery, he sat down +again. + +The amazement, suspicion, resentment, and shame, with which Arthur +looked on at all this, struck him dumb. Mr Flintwinch, who had spun +backward some two or three yards under the impetus last given to him, +brought himself up with a face completely unchanged in its stolidity +except as it was affected by shortness of breath, and looked hard at +Arthur. Not a whit less reticent and wooden was Mr Flintwinch outwardly, +than in the usual course of things: the only perceptible difference in +him being that the knot of cravat which was generally under his ear, +had worked round to the back of his head: where it formed an ornamental +appendage not unlike a bagwig, and gave him something of a courtly +appearance. + +As Mrs Clennam never removed her eyes from Blandois (on whom they had +some effect, as a steady look has on a lower sort of dog), so Jeremiah +never removed his from Arthur. It was as if they had tacitly agreed to +take their different provinces. Thus, in the ensuing silence, Jeremiah +stood scraping his chin and looking at Arthur as though he were trying +to screw his thoughts out of him with an instrument. + +After a little, the visitor, as if he felt the silence irksome, rose, +and impatiently put himself with his back to the sacred fire which had +burned through so many years. Thereupon Mrs Clennam said, moving one of +her hands for the first time, and moving it very slightly with an action +of dismissal: + +'Please to leave us to our business, Arthur.' + +'Mother, I do so with reluctance.' + +'Never mind with what,' she returned, 'or with what not. Please to leave +us. Come back at any other time when you may consider it a duty to bury +half an hour wearily here. Good night.' + +She held up her muffled fingers that he might touch them with his, +according to their usual custom, and he stood over her wheeled chair to +touch her face with his lips. He thought, then, that her cheek was +more strained than usual, and that it was colder. As he followed the +direction of her eyes, in rising again, towards Mr Flintwinch's good +friend, Mr Blandois, Mr Blandois snapped his finger and thumb with one +loud contemptuous snap. + +'I leave your--your business acquaintance in my mother's room, Mr +Flintwinch,' said Clennam, 'with a great deal of surprise and a great +deal of unwillingness.' + +The person referred to snapped his finger and thumb again. + +'Good night, mother.' + +'Good night.' + +'I had a friend once, my good comrade Flintwinch,' said Blandois, +standing astride before the fire, and so evidently saying it to arrest +Clennam's retreating steps, that he lingered near the door; 'I had a +friend once, who had heard so much of the dark side of this city and +its ways, that he wouldn't have confided himself alone by night with two +people who had an interest in getting him under the ground--my faith! +not even in a respectable house like this--unless he was bodily too +strong for them. Bah! What a poltroon, my Flintwinch! Eh?' + +'A cur, sir.' + +'Agreed! A cur. But he wouldn't have done it, my Flintwinch, unless he +had known them to have the will to silence him, without the power. He +wouldn't have drunk from a glass of water under such circumstances--not +even in a respectable house like this, my Flintwinch--unless he had seen +one of them drink first, and swallow too!' + +Disdaining to speak, and indeed not very well able, for he was +half-choking, Clennam only glanced at the visitor as he passed out. +The visitor saluted him with another parting snap, and his nose came +down over his moustache and his moustache went up under his nose, in an +ominous and ugly smile. + +'For Heaven's sake, Affery,' whispered Clennam, as she opened the door +for him in the dark hall, and he groped his way to the sight of the +night-sky, 'what is going on here?' + +Her own appearance was sufficiently ghastly, standing in the dark +with her apron thrown over her head, and speaking behind it in a low, +deadened voice. + +'Don't ask me anything, Arthur. I've been in a dream for ever so long. +Go away!' + +He went out, and she shut the door upon him. He looked up at the windows +of his mother's room, and the dim light, deadened by the yellow blinds, +seemed to say a response after Affery, and to mutter, 'Don't ask me +anything. Go away!' + + + + +CHAPTER 11. A Letter from Little Dorrit + + +Dear Mr Clennam, + +As I said in my last that it was best for nobody to write to me, and +as my sending you another little letter can therefore give you no other +trouble than the trouble of reading it (perhaps you may not find leisure +for even that, though I hope you will some day), I am now going to +devote an hour to writing to you again. This time, I write from Rome. + +We left Venice before Mr and Mrs Gowan did, but they were not so long +upon the road as we were, and did not travel by the same way, and so +when we arrived we found them in a lodging here, in a place called the +Via Gregoriana. I dare say you know it. + +Now I am going to tell you all I can about them, because I know that is +what you most want to hear. Theirs is not a very comfortable lodging, +but perhaps I thought it less so when I first saw it than you would have +done, because you have been in many different countries and have +seen many different customs. Of course it is a far, far better +place--millions of times--than any I have ever been used to until +lately; and I fancy I don't look at it with my own eyes, but with hers. +For it would be easy to see that she has always been brought up in a +tender and happy home, even if she had not told me so with great love +for it. + +Well, it is a rather bare lodging up a rather dark common staircase, and +it is nearly all a large dull room, where Mr Gowan paints. The windows +are blocked up where any one could look out, and the walls have been +all drawn over with chalk and charcoal by others who have lived there +before--oh,--I should think, for years! There is a curtain more +dust-coloured than red, which divides it, and the part behind the +curtain makes the private sitting-room. When I first saw her there she +was alone, and her work had fallen out of her hand, and she was looking +up at the sky shining through the tops of the windows. Pray do not be +uneasy when I tell you, but it was not quite so airy, nor so bright, nor +so cheerful, nor so happy and youthful altogether as I should have liked +it to be. + +On account of Mr Gowan's painting Papa's picture (which I am not quite +convinced I should have known from the likeness if I had not seen him +doing it), I have had more opportunities of being with her since then +than I might have had without this fortunate chance. She is very much +alone. Very much alone indeed. + +Shall I tell you about the second time I saw her? I went one day, when +it happened that I could run round by myself, at four or five o'clock +in the afternoon. She was then dining alone, and her solitary dinner had +been brought in from somewhere, over a kind of brazier with a fire in +it, and she had no company or prospect of company, that I could see, +but the old man who had brought it. He was telling her a long story (of +robbers outside the walls being taken up by a stone statue of a Saint), +to entertain her--as he said to me when I came out, 'because he had a +daughter of his own, though she was not so pretty.' + +I ought now to mention Mr Gowan, before I say what little more I have to +say about her. He must admire her beauty, and he must be proud of her, +for everybody praises it, and he must be fond of her, and I do not +doubt that he is--but in his way. You know his way, and if it appears +as careless and discontented in your eyes as it does in mine, I am not +wrong in thinking that it might be better suited to her. If it does not +seem so to you, I am quite sure I am wholly mistaken; for your unchanged +poor child confides in your knowledge and goodness more than she could +ever tell you if she was to try. But don't be frightened, I am not going +to try. + +Owing (as I think, if you think so too) to Mr Gowan's unsettled +and dissatisfied way, he applies himself to his profession very little. +He does nothing steadily or patiently; but equally takes things up and +throws them down, and does them, or leaves them undone, without caring +about them. When I have heard him talking to Papa during the sittings +for the picture, I have sat wondering whether it could be that he has no +belief in anybody else, because he has no belief in himself. Is it so? +I wonder what you will say when you come to this! I know how you will +look, and I can almost hear the voice in which you would tell me on the +Iron Bridge. + +Mr Gowan goes out a good deal among what is considered the best company +here--though he does not look as if he enjoyed it or liked it when he is +with it--and she sometimes accompanies him, but lately she has gone out +very little. I think I have noticed that they have an inconsistent way +of speaking about her, as if she had made some great self-interested +success in marrying Mr Gowan, though, at the same time, the very same +people, would not have dreamed of taking him for themselves or their +daughters. Then he goes into the country besides, to think about making +sketches; and in all places where there are visitors, he has a large +acquaintance and is very well known. Besides all this, he has a friend +who is much in his society both at home and away from home, though he +treats this friend very coolly and is very uncertain in his behaviour +to him. I am quite sure (because she has told me so), that she does not +like this friend. He is so revolting to me, too, that his being away +from here, at present, is quite a relief to my mind. How much more to +hers! + +But what I particularly want you to know, and why I have resolved +to tell you so much while I am afraid it may make you a little +uncomfortable without occasion, is this. She is so true and so devoted, +and knows so completely that all her love and duty are his for ever, +that you may be certain she will love him, admire him, praise him, and +conceal all his faults, until she dies. I believe she conceals them, and +always will conceal them, even from herself. She has given him a heart +that can never be taken back; and however much he may try it, he will +never wear out its affection. You know the truth of this, as you know +everything, far far better than I; but I cannot help telling you what a +nature she shows, and that you can never think too well of her. + +I have not yet called her by her name in this letter, but we are such +friends now that I do so when we are quietly together, and she speaks to +me by my name--I mean, not my Christian name, but the name you gave me. +When she began to call me Amy, I told her my short story, and that you +had always called me Little Dorrit. I told her that the name was much +dearer to me than any other, and so she calls me Little Dorrit too. + +Perhaps you have not heard from her father or mother yet, and may not +know that she has a baby son. He was born only two days ago, and just a +week after they came. It has made them very happy. However, I must tell +you, as I am to tell you all, that I fancy they are under a constraint +with Mr Gowan, and that they feel as if his mocking way with them was +sometimes a slight given to their love for her. It was but yesterday, +when I was there, that I saw Mr Meagles change colour, and get up and +go out, as if he was afraid that he might say so, unless he prevented +himself by that means. Yet I am sure they are both so considerate, +good-humoured, and reasonable, that he might spare them. It is hard in +him not to think of them a little more. + +I stopped at the last full stop to read all this over. It looked at +first as if I was taking on myself to understand and explain so much, +that I was half inclined not to send it. But when I thought it over a +little, I felt more hopeful for your knowing at once that I had only +been watchful for you, and had only noticed what I think I have noticed, +because I was quickened by your interest in it. Indeed, you may be sure +that is the truth. + +And now I have done with the subject in the present letter, and have +little left to say. + +We are all quite well, and Fanny improves every day. You can hardly +think how kind she is to me, and what pains she takes with me. She has +a lover, who has followed her, first all the way from Switzerland, and +then all the way from Venice, and who has just confided to me that he +means to follow her everywhere. I was much confused by his speaking to +me about it, but he would. I did not know what to say, but at last I +told him that I thought he had better not. For Fanny (but I did not tell +him this) is much too spirited and clever to suit him. Still, he said he +would, all the same. I have no lover, of course. + +If you should ever get so far as this in this long letter, you will +perhaps say, Surely Little Dorrit will not leave off without telling me +something about her travels, and surely it is time she did. I think it +is indeed, but I don't know what to tell you. Since we left Venice we +have been in a great many wonderful places, Genoa and Florence among +them, and have seen so many wonderful sights, that I am almost giddy +when I think what a crowd they make. But you can tell me so much more +about them than I can tell you, that why should I tire you with my +accounts and descriptions? + +Dear Mr Clennam, as I had the courage to tell you what the familiar +difficulties in my travelling mind were before, I will not be a coward +now. One of my frequent thoughts is this:--Old as these cities are, +their age itself is hardly so curious, to my reflections, as that they +should have been in their places all through those days when I did not +even know of the existence of more than two or three of them, and when +I scarcely knew of anything outside our old walls. There is something +melancholy in it, and I don't know why. When we went to see the famous +leaning tower at Pisa, it was a bright sunny day, and it and the +buildings near it looked so old, and the earth and the sky looked so +young, and its shadow on the ground was so soft and retired! I could not +at first think how beautiful it was, or how curious, but I thought, 'O +how many times when the shadow of the wall was falling on our room, and +when that weary tread of feet was going up and down the yard--O how many +times this place was just as quiet and lovely as it is to-day!' It quite +overpowered me. My heart was so full that tears burst out of my eyes, +though I did what I could to restrain them. And I have the same feeling +often--often. + +Do you know that since the change in our fortunes, though I appear to +myself to have dreamed more than before, I have always dreamed of myself +as very young indeed! I am not very old, you may say. No, but that is +not what I mean. I have always dreamed of myself as a child learning +to do needlework. I have often dreamed of myself as back there, seeing +faces in the yard little known, and which I should have thought I had +quite forgotten; but, as often as not, I have been abroad here--in +Switzerland, or France, or Italy--somewhere where we have been--yet +always as that little child. I have dreamed of going down to Mrs +General, with the patches on my clothes in which I can first remember +myself. I have over and over again dreamed of taking my place at dinner +at Venice when we have had a large company, in the mourning for my poor +mother which I wore when I was eight years old, and wore long after it +was threadbare and would mend no more. It has been a great distress to +me to think how irreconcilable the company would consider it with my +father's wealth, and how I should displease and disgrace him and Fanny +and Edward by so plainly disclosing what they wished to keep secret. But +I have not grown out of the little child in thinking of it; and at the +self-same moment I have dreamed that I have sat with the heart-ache at +table, calculating the expenses of the dinner, and quite distracting +myself with thinking how they were ever to be made good. I have never +dreamed of the change in our fortunes itself; I have never dreamed of +your coming back with me that memorable morning to break it; I have +never even dreamed of you. + +Dear Mr Clennam, it is possible that I have thought of you--and +others--so much by day, that I have no thoughts left to wander round +you by night. For I must now confess to you that I suffer from +home-sickness--that I long so ardently and earnestly for home, as +sometimes, when no one sees me, to pine for it. I cannot bear to turn my +face further away from it. My heart is a little lightened when we turn +towards it, even for a few miles, and with the knowledge that we are +soon to turn away again. So dearly do I love the scene of my poverty and +your kindness. O so dearly, O so dearly! + +Heaven knows when your poor child will see England again. We are all +fond of the life here (except me), and there are no plans for our +return. My dear father talks of a visit to London late in this next +spring, on some affairs connected with the property, but I have no hope +that he will bring me with him. + +I have tried to get on a little better under Mrs General's instruction, +and I hope I am not quite so dull as I used to be. I have begun to speak +and understand, almost easily, the hard languages I told you about. I +did not remember, at the moment when I wrote last, that you knew them +both; but I remembered it afterwards, and it helped me on. God bless +you, dear Mr Clennam. Do not forget + + Your ever grateful and affectionate + + LITTLE DORRIT. + +P.S.--Particularly remember that Minnie Gowan deserves the best +remembrance in which you can hold her. You cannot think too generously +or too highly of her. I forgot Mr Pancks last time. Please, if you +should see him, give him your Little Dorrit's kind regard. He was very +good to Little D. + + + + +CHAPTER 12. In which a Great Patriotic Conference is holden + + +The famous name of Merdle became, every day, more famous in the land. +Nobody knew that the Merdle of such high renown had ever done any good +to any one, alive or dead, or to any earthly thing; nobody knew that he +had any capacity or utterance of any sort in him, which had ever thrown, +for any creature, the feeblest farthing-candle ray of light on any path +of duty or diversion, pain or pleasure, toil or rest, fact or fancy, +among the multiplicity of paths in the labyrinth trodden by the sons +of Adam; nobody had the smallest reason for supposing the clay of which +this object of worship was made, to be other than the commonest clay, +with as clogged a wick smouldering inside of it as ever kept an image of +humanity from tumbling to pieces. All people knew (or thought they knew) +that he had made himself immensely rich; and, for that reason alone, +prostrated themselves before him, more degradedly and less excusably +than the darkest savage creeps out of his hole in the ground to +propitiate, in some log or reptile, the Deity of his benighted soul. + +Nay, the high priests of this worship had the man before them as +a protest against their meanness. The multitude worshipped on +trust--though always distinctly knowing why--but the officiators at the +altar had the man habitually in their view. They sat at his feasts, and +he sat at theirs. There was a spectre always attendant on him, saying to +these high priests, 'Are such the signs you trust, and love to honour; +this head, these eyes, this mode of speech, the tone and manner of this +man? You are the levers of the Circumlocution Office, and the rulers of +men. When half-a-dozen of you fall out by the ears, it seems that mother +earth can give birth to no other rulers. Does your qualification lie in +the superior knowledge of men which accepts, courts, and puffs this man? +Or, if you are competent to judge aright the signs I never fail to +show you when he appears among you, is your superior honesty your +qualification?' Two rather ugly questions these, always going about +town with Mr Merdle; and there was a tacit agreement that they must be +stifled. + +In Mrs Merdle's absence abroad, Mr Merdle still kept the great house +open for the passage through it of a stream Of visitors. A few of these +took affable possession of the establishment. Three or four ladies of +distinction and liveliness used to say to one another, 'Let us dine at +our dear Merdle's next Thursday. Whom shall we have?' Our dear Merdle +would then receive his instructions; and would sit heavily among the +company at table and wander lumpishly about his drawing-rooms +afterwards, only remarkable for appearing to have nothing to do with the +entertainment beyond being in its way. + +The Chief Butler, the Avenging Spirit of this great man's life, relaxed +nothing of his severity. He looked on at these dinners when the bosom +was not there, as he looked on at other dinners when the bosom was +there; and his eye was a basilisk to Mr Merdle. He was a hard man, and +would never bate an ounce of plate or a bottle of wine. He would not +allow a dinner to be given, unless it was up to his mark. He set forth +the table for his own dignity. If the guests chose to partake of what +was served, he saw no objection; but it was served for the maintenance +of his rank. As he stood by the sideboard he seemed to announce, 'I have +accepted office to look at this which is now before me, and to look at +nothing less than this.' If he missed the presiding bosom, it was as a +part of his own state of which he was, from unavoidable circumstances, +temporarily deprived, just as he might have missed a centre-piece, or a +choice wine-cooler, which had been sent to the Banker's. + +Mr Merdle issued invitations for a Barnacle dinner. Lord Decimus was to +be there, Mr Tite Barnacle was to be there, the pleasant young Barnacle +was to be there; and the Chorus of Parliamentary Barnacles who went +about the provinces when the House was up, warbling the praises of their +Chief, were to be represented there. It was understood to be a great +occasion. Mr Merdle was going to take up the Barnacles. Some delicate +little negotiations had occurred between him and the noble Decimus--the +young Barnacle of engaging manners acting as negotiator--and Mr Merdle +had decided to cast the weight of his great probity and great riches +into the Barnacle scale. Jobbery was suspected by the malicious; perhaps +because it was indisputable that if the adherence of the immortal Enemy +of Mankind could have been secured by a job, the Barnacles would have +jobbed him--for the good of the country, for the good of the country. + +Mrs Merdle had written to this magnificent spouse of hers, whom it was +heresy to regard as anything less than all the British Merchants since +the days of Whittington rolled into one, and gilded three feet deep all +over--had written to this spouse of hers, several letters from Rome, in +quick succession, urging upon him with importunity that now or never was +the time to provide for Edmund Sparkler. Mrs Merdle had shown him that +the case of Edmund was urgent, and that infinite advantages might result +from his having some good thing directly. In the grammar of Mrs +Merdle's verbs on this momentous subject, there was only one mood, the +Imperative; and that Mood had only one Tense, the Present. Mrs Merdle's +verbs were so pressingly presented to Mr Merdle to conjugate, that his +sluggish blood and his long coat-cuffs became quite agitated. + +In which state of agitation, Mr Merdle, evasively rolling his eyes +round the Chief Butler's shoes without raising them to the index of that +stupendous creature's thoughts, had signified to him his intention of +giving a special dinner: not a very large dinner, but a very special +dinner. The Chief Butler had signified, in return, that he had no +objection to look on at the most expensive thing in that way that could +be done; and the day of the dinner was now come. + +Mr Merdle stood in one of his drawing-rooms, with his back to the fire, +waiting for the arrival of his important guests. He seldom or never took +the liberty of standing with his back to the fire unless he was quite +alone. In the presence of the Chief Butler, he could not have done such +a deed. He would have clasped himself by the wrists in that constabulary +manner of his, and have paced up and down the hearthrug, or gone +creeping about among the rich objects of furniture, if his oppressive +retainer had appeared in the room at that very moment. The sly shadows +which seemed to dart out of hiding when the fire rose, and to dart back +into it when the fire fell, were sufficient witnesses of his making +himself so easy. They were even more than sufficient, if his +uncomfortable glances at them might be taken to mean anything. + +Mr Merdle's right hand was filled with the evening paper, and the +evening paper was full of Mr Merdle. His wonderful enterprise, his +wonderful wealth, his wonderful Bank, were the fattening food of the +evening paper that night. The wonderful Bank, of which he was the chief +projector, establisher, and manager, was the latest of the many Merdle +wonders. So modest was Mr Merdle withal, in the midst of these splendid +achievements, that he looked far more like a man in possession of his +house under a distraint, than a commercial Colossus bestriding his own +hearthrug, while the little ships were sailing into dinner. + +Behold the vessels coming into port! The engaging young Barnacle was the +first arrival; but Bar overtook him on the staircase. Bar, strengthened +as usual with his double eye-glass and his little jury droop, was +overjoyed to see the engaging young Barnacle; and opined that we were +going to sit in Banco, as we lawyers called it, to take a special +argument? + +'Indeed,' said the sprightly young Barnacle, whose name was Ferdinand; +'how so?' + +'Nay,' smiled Bar. 'If you don't know, how can I know? You are in the +innermost sanctuary of the temple; I am one of the admiring concourse on +the plain without.' + +Bar could be light in hand, or heavy in hand, according to the customer +he had to deal with. With Ferdinand Barnacle he was gossamer. Bar was +likewise always modest and self-depreciatory--in his way. Bar was a man +of great variety; but one leading thread ran through the woof of all his +patterns. Every man with whom he had to do was in his eyes a jury-man; +and he must get that jury-man over, if he could. + +'Our illustrious host and friend,' said Bar; 'our shining mercantile +star;--going into politics?' + +'Going? He has been in Parliament some time, you know,' returned the +engaging young Barnacle. + +'True,' said Bar, with his light-comedy laugh for special jury-men, +which was a very different thing from his low-comedy laugh for comic +tradesmen on common juries: 'he has been in Parliament for some time. +Yet hitherto our star has been a vacillating and wavering star? Humph?' + +An average witness would have been seduced by the Humph? into an +affirmative answer, But Ferdinand Barnacle looked knowingly at Bar as he +strolled up-stairs, and gave him no answer at all. + +'Just so, just so,' said Bar, nodding his head, for he was not to be put +off in that way, 'and therefore I spoke of our sitting _in Banco_ to take +a special argument--meaning this to be a high and solemn occasion, when, +as Captain Macheath says, "the judges are met: a terrible show!" We +lawyers are sufficiently liberal, you see, to quote the Captain, though +the Captain is severe upon us. Nevertheless, I think I could put in +evidence an admission of the Captain's,' said Bar, with a little jocose +roll of his head; for, in his legal current of speech, he always assumed +the air of rallying himself with the best grace in the world; 'an +admission of the Captain's that Law, in the gross, is at least +intended to be impartial. For what says the Captain, if I quote +him correctly--and if not,' with a light-comedy touch of his double +eye-glass on his companion's shoulder, 'my learned friend will set me +right: + + + "Since laws were made for every degree, + To curb vice in others as well as in me, + I wonder we ha'n't better company + Upon Tyburn Tree!"' + + +These words brought them to the drawing-room, where Mr Merdle stood +before the fire. So immensely astounded was Mr Merdle by the entrance +of Bar with such a reference in his mouth, that Bar explained himself +to have been quoting Gay. 'Assuredly not one of our Westminster Hall +authorities,' said he, 'but still no despicable one to a man possessing +the largely-practical Mr Merdle's knowledge of the world.' + +Mr Merdle looked as if he thought he would say something, but +subsequently looked as if he thought he wouldn't. The interval afforded +time for Bishop to be announced. + +Bishop came in with meekness, and yet with a strong and rapid step as if +he wanted to get his seven-league dress-shoes on, and go round the world +to see that everybody was in a satisfactory state. Bishop had no idea +that there was anything significant in the occasion. That was the most +remarkable trait in his demeanour. He was crisp, fresh, cheerful, +affable, bland; but so surprisingly innocent. + +Bar sidled up to prefer his politest inquiries in reference to the +health of Mrs Bishop. Mrs Bishop had been a little unfortunate in the +article of taking cold at a Confirmation, but otherwise was well. Young +Mr Bishop was also well. He was down, with his young wife and little +family, at his Cure of Souls. + +The representatives of the Barnacle Chorus dropped in next, and Mr +Merdle's physician dropped in next. Bar, who had a bit of one eye and a +bit of his double eye-glass for every one who came in at the door, no +matter with whom he was conversing or what he was talking about, got +among them all by some skilful means, without being seen to get at them, +and touched each individual gentleman of the jury on his own individual +favourite spot. With some of the Chorus, he laughed about the sleepy +member who had gone out into the lobby the other night, and voted the +wrong way: with others, he deplored that innovating spirit in the time +which could not even be prevented from taking an unnatural interest in +the public service and the public money: with the physician he had a +word to say about the general health; he had also a little information +to ask him for, concerning a professional man of unquestioned erudition +and polished manners--but those credentials in their highest development +he believed were the possession of other professors of the healing art +(jury droop)--whom he had happened to have in the witness-box the day +before yesterday, and from whom he had elicited in cross-examination +that he claimed to be one of the exponents of this new mode of treatment +which appeared to Bar to--eh?--well, Bar thought so; Bar had thought, +and hoped, Physician would tell him so. Without presuming to decide +where doctors disagreed, it did appear to Bar, viewing it as a question +of common sense and not of so-called legal penetration, that this new +system was--might be, in the presence of so great an authority--say, +Humbug? Ah! Fortified by such encouragement, he could venture to say +Humbug; and now Bar's mind was relieved. + +Mr Tite Barnacle, who, like Dr Johnson's celebrated acquaintance, had +only one idea in his head and that was a wrong one, had appeared by this +time. This eminent gentleman and Mr Merdle, seated diverse ways and with +ruminating aspects on a yellow ottoman in the light of the fire, +holding no verbal communication with each other, bore a strong general +resemblance to the two cows in the Cuyp picture over against them. + +But now, Lord Decimus arrived. The Chief Butler, who up to this time +had limited himself to a branch of his usual function by looking at the +company as they entered (and that, with more of defiance than favour), +put himself so far out of his way as to come up-stairs with him and +announce him. Lord Decimus being an overpowering peer, a bashful young +member of the Lower House who was the last fish but one caught by the +Barnacles, and who had been invited on this occasion to commemorate his +capture, shut his eyes when his Lordship came in. + +Lord Decimus, nevertheless, was glad to see the Member. He was also +glad to see Mr Merdle, glad to see Bishop, glad to see Bar, glad to see +Physician, glad to see Tite Barnacle, glad to see Chorus, glad to +see Ferdinand his private secretary. Lord Decimus, though one of the +greatest of the earth, was not remarkable for ingratiatory manners, and +Ferdinand had coached him up to the point of noticing all the fellows +he might find there, and saying he was glad to see them. When he had +achieved this rush of vivacity and condescension, his Lordship composed +himself into the picture after Cuyp, and made a third cow in the group. + +Bar, who felt that he had got all the rest of the jury and must now lay +hold of the Foreman, soon came sidling up, double eye-glass in hand. Bar +tendered the weather, as a subject neatly aloof from official reserve, +for the Foreman's consideration. Bar said that he was told (as everybody +always is told, though who tells them, and why, will ever remain a +mystery), that there was to be no wall-fruit this year. Lord Decimus +had not heard anything amiss of his peaches, but rather believed, if his +people were correct, he was to have no apples. No apples? Bar was lost +in astonishment and concern. It would have been all one to him, in +reality, if there had not been a pippin on the surface of the earth, but +his show of interest in this apple question was positively painful. +Now, to what, Lord Decimus--for we troublesome lawyers loved to gather +information, and could never tell how useful it might prove to us--to +what, Lord Decimus, was this to be attributed? Lord Decimus could not +undertake to propound any theory about it. This might have stopped +another man; but Bar, sticking to him fresh as ever, said, 'As to pears, +now?' + +Long after Bar got made Attorney-General, this was told of him as +a master-stroke. Lord Decimus had a reminiscence about a pear-tree +formerly growing in a garden near the back of his dame's house at Eton, +upon which pear-tree the only joke of his life perennially bloomed. It +was a joke of a compact and portable nature, turning on the difference +between Eton pears and Parliamentary pairs; but it was a joke, a refined +relish of which would seem to have appeared to Lord Decimus impossible +to be had without a thorough and intimate acquaintance with the tree. +Therefore, the story at first had no idea of such a tree, sir, then +gradually found it in winter, carried it through the changing season, +saw it bud, saw it blossom, saw it bear fruit, saw the fruit ripen; in +short, cultivated the tree in that diligent and minute manner before it +got out of the bed-room window to steal the fruit, that many thanks had +been offered up by belated listeners for the trees having been planted +and grafted prior to Lord Decimus's time. Bar's interest in apples was +so overtopped by the wrapt suspense in which he pursued the changes +of these pears, from the moment when Lord Decimus solemnly opened with +'Your mentioning pears recalls to my remembrance a pear-tree,' down to +the rich conclusion, 'And so we pass, through the various changes +of life, from Eton pears to Parliamentary pairs,' that he had to go +down-stairs with Lord Decimus, and even then to be seated next to him +at table in order that he might hear the anecdote out. By that time, Bar +felt that he had secured the Foreman, and might go to dinner with a good +appetite. + +It was a dinner to provoke an appetite, though he had not had one. The +rarest dishes, sumptuously cooked and sumptuously served; the choicest +fruits; the most exquisite wines; marvels of workmanship in gold and +silver, china and glass; innumerable things delicious to the senses of +taste, smell, and sight, were insinuated into its composition. O, what +a wonderful man this Merdle, what a great man, what a master man, how +blessedly and enviably endowed--in one word, what a rich man! + +He took his usual poor eighteenpennyworth of food in his usual +indigestive way, and had as little to say for himself as ever a +wonderful man had. Fortunately Lord Decimus was one of those sublimities +who have no occasion to be talked to, for they can be at any time +sufficiently occupied with the contemplation of their own greatness. +This enabled the bashful young Member to keep his eyes open long enough +at a time to see his dinner. But, whenever Lord Decimus spoke, he shut +them again. + +The agreeable young Barnacle, and Bar, were the talkers of the party. +Bishop would have been exceedingly agreeable also, but that his +innocence stood in his way. He was so soon left behind. When there was +any little hint of anything being in the wind, he got lost directly. +Worldly affairs were too much for him; he couldn't make them out at all. + +This was observable when Bar said, incidentally, that he was happy to +have heard that we were soon to have the advantage of enlisting on +the good side, the sound and plain sagacity--not demonstrative or +ostentatious, but thoroughly sound and practical--of our friend Mr +Sparkler. + +Ferdinand Barnacle laughed, and said oh yes, he believed so. A vote was +a vote, and always acceptable. + +Bar was sorry to miss our good friend Mr Sparkler to-day, Mr Merdle. + +'He is away with Mrs Merdle,' returned that gentleman, slowly coming +out of a long abstraction, in the course of which he had been fitting a +tablespoon up his sleeve. 'It is not indispensable for him to be on the +spot.' + +'The magic name of Merdle,' said Bar, with the jury droop, 'no doubt +will suffice for all.' + +'Why--yes--I believe so,' assented Mr Merdle, putting the spoon aside, +and clumsily hiding each of his hands in the coat-cuff of the other +hand. 'I believe the people in my interest down there will not make any +difficulty.' + +'Model people!' said Bar. + +'I am glad you approve of them,' said Mr Merdle. + +'And the people of those other two places, now,' pursued Bar, with a +bright twinkle in his keen eye, as it slightly turned in the direction +of his magnificent neighbour; 'we lawyers are always curious, always +inquisitive, always picking up odds and ends for our patchwork minds, +since there is no knowing when and where they may fit into some +corner;--the people of those other two places now? Do they yield so +laudably to the vast and cumulative influence of such enterprise and +such renown; do those little rills become absorbed so quietly +and easily, and, as it were by the influence of natural laws, so +beautifully, in the swoop of the majestic stream as it flows upon its +wondrous way enriching the surrounding lands; that their course is +perfectly to be calculated, and distinctly to be predicated?' + +Mr Merdle, a little troubled by Bar's eloquence, looked fitfully about +the nearest salt-cellar for some moments, and then said hesitating: + +'They are perfectly aware, sir, of their duty to Society. They will +return anybody I send to them for that purpose.' + +'Cheering to know,' said Bar. 'Cheering to know.' + +The three places in question were three little rotten holes in this +Island, containing three little ignorant, drunken, guzzling, dirty, +out-of-the-way constituencies, that had reeled into Mr Merdle's pocket. +Ferdinand Barnacle laughed in his easy way, and airily said they were +a nice set of fellows. Bishop, mentally perambulating among paths of +peace, was altogether swallowed up in absence of mind. + +'Pray,' asked Lord Decimus, casting his eyes around the table, 'what +is this story I have heard of a gentleman long confined in a debtors' +prison proving to be of a wealthy family, and having come into the +inheritance of a large sum of money? I have met with a variety of +allusions to it. Do you know anything of it, Ferdinand?' + +'I only know this much,' said Ferdinand, 'that he has given the +Department with which I have the honour to be associated;' this +sparkling young Barnacle threw off the phrase sportively, as who should +say, We know all about these forms of speech, but we must keep it up, +we must keep the game alive; 'no end of trouble, and has put us into +innumerable fixes.' + +'Fixes?' repeated Lord Decimus, with a majestic pausing and pondering +on the word that made the bashful Member shut his eyes quite tight. +'Fixes?' + +'A very perplexing business indeed,' observed Mr Tite Barnacle, with an +air of grave resentment. + +'What,' said Lord Decimus, 'was the character of his business; what was +the nature of these--a--Fixes, Ferdinand?' + +'Oh, it's a good story, as a story,' returned that gentleman; 'as good +a thing of its kind as need be. This Mr Dorrit (his name is Dorrit) had +incurred a responsibility to us, ages before the fairy came out of +the Bank and gave him his fortune, under a bond he had signed for the +performance of a contract which was not at all performed. He was a +partner in a house in some large way--spirits, or buttons, or wine, or +blacking, or oatmeal, or woollen, or pork, or hooks and eyes, or iron, +or treacle, or shoes, or something or other that was wanted for troops, +or seamen, or somebody--and the house burst, and we being among +the creditors, detainees were lodged on the part of the Crown in a +scientific manner, and all the rest of it. When the fairy had appeared +and he wanted to pay us off, Egad we had got into such an exemplary +state of checking and counter-checking, signing and counter-signing, +that it was six months before we knew how to take the money, or how to +give a receipt for it. It was a triumph of public business,' said this +handsome young Barnacle, laughing heartily, 'You never saw such a lot of +forms in your life. "Why," the attorney said to me one day, "if I wanted +this office to give me two or three thousand pounds instead of take it, +I couldn't have more trouble about it." "You are right, old fellow," +I told him, "and in future you'll know that we have something to do +here."' The pleasant young Barnacle finished by once more laughing +heartily. He was a very easy, pleasant fellow indeed, and his manners +were exceedingly winning. + +Mr Tite Barnacle's view of the business was of a less airy character. He +took it ill that Mr Dorrit had troubled the Department by wanting to +pay the money, and considered it a grossly informal thing to do after so +many years. But Mr Tite Barnacle was a buttoned-up man, and consequently +a weighty one. All buttoned-up men are weighty. All buttoned-up men are +believed in. Whether or no the reserved and never-exercised power of +unbuttoning, fascinates mankind; whether or no wisdom is supposed to +condense and augment when buttoned up, and to evaporate when unbuttoned; +it is certain that the man to whom importance is accorded is the +buttoned-up man. Mr Tite Barnacle never would have passed for half his +current value, unless his coat had been always buttoned-up to his white +cravat. + +'May I ask,' said Lord Decimus, 'if Mr Darrit--or Dorrit--has any +family?' + +Nobody else replying, the host said, 'He has two daughters, my lord.' + +'Oh! you are acquainted with him?' asked Lord Decimus. + +'Mrs Merdle is. Mr Sparkler is, too. In fact,' said Mr Merdle, 'I rather +believe that one of the young ladies has made an impression on Edmund +Sparkler. He is susceptible, and--I--think--the conquest--' Here Mr +Merdle stopped, and looked at the table-cloth, as he usually did when he +found himself observed or listened to. + +Bar was uncommonly pleased to find that the Merdle family, and this +family, had already been brought into contact. He submitted, in a low +voice across the table to Bishop, that it was a kind of analogical +illustration of those physical laws, in virtue of which Like flies to +Like. He regarded this power of attraction in wealth to draw wealth +to it, as something remarkably interesting and curious--something +indefinably allied to the loadstone and gravitation. Bishop, who +had ambled back to earth again when the present theme was broached, +acquiesced. He said it was indeed highly important to Society that one +in the trying situation of unexpectedly finding himself invested with a +power for good or for evil in Society, should become, as it were, merged +in the superior power of a more legitimate and more gigantic growth, the +influence of which (as in the case of our friend at whose board we sat) +was habitually exercised in harmony with the best interests of Society. +Thus, instead of two rival and contending flames, a larger and a lesser, +each burning with a lurid and uncertain glare, we had a blended and a +softened light whose genial ray diffused an equable warmth throughout +the land. Bishop seemed to like his own way of putting the case very +much, and rather dwelt upon it; Bar, meanwhile (not to throw away a +jury-man), making a show of sitting at his feet and feeding on his +precepts. + +The dinner and dessert being three hours long, the bashful Member cooled +in the shadow of Lord Decimus faster than he warmed with food and drink, +and had but a chilly time of it. Lord Decimus, like a tall tower in a +flat country, seemed to project himself across the table-cloth, hide the +light from the honourable Member, cool the honourable Member's marrow, +and give him a woeful idea of distance. When he asked this unfortunate +traveller to take wine, he encompassed his faltering steps with the +gloomiest of shades; and when he said, 'Your health sir!' all around him +was barrenness and desolation. + +At length Lord Decimus, with a coffee-cup in his hand, began to hover +about among the pictures, and to cause an interesting speculation to +arise in all minds as to the probabilities of his ceasing to hover, and +enabling the smaller birds to flutter up-stairs; which could not be +done until he had urged his noble pinions in that direction. After some +delay, and several stretches of his wings which came to nothing, he +soared to the drawing-rooms. + +And here a difficulty arose, which always does arise when two people +are specially brought together at a dinner to confer with one another. +Everybody (except Bishop, who had no suspicion of it) knew perfectly +well that this dinner had been eaten and drunk, specifically to the end +that Lord Decimus and Mr Merdle should have five minutes' conversation +together. The opportunity so elaborately prepared was now arrived, and +it seemed from that moment that no mere human ingenuity could so much as +get the two chieftains into the same room. Mr Merdle and his noble guest +persisted in prowling about at opposite ends of the perspective. It was +in vain for the engaging Ferdinand to bring Lord Decimus to look at the +bronze horses near Mr Merdle. Then Mr Merdle evaded, and wandered away. +It was in vain for him to bring Mr Merdle to Lord Decimus to tell him +the history of the unique Dresden vases. Then Lord Decimus evaded and +wandered away, while he was getting his man up to the mark. + +'Did you ever see such a thing as this?' said Ferdinand to Bar when he +had been baffled twenty times. + +'Often,' returned Bar. + +'Unless I butt one of them into an appointed corner, and you butt the +other,' said Ferdinand,'it will not come off after all.' + +'Very good,' said Bar. 'I'll butt Merdle, if you like; but not my lord.' + +Ferdinand laughed, in the midst of his vexation. 'Confound them both!' +said he, looking at his watch. 'I want to get away. Why the deuce can't +they come together! They both know what they want and mean to do. Look +at them!' + +They were still looming at opposite ends of the perspective, each with +an absurd pretence of not having the other on his mind, which could not +have been more transparently ridiculous though his real mind had been +chalked on his back. Bishop, who had just now made a third with Bar and +Ferdinand, but whose innocence had again cut him out of the subject and +washed him in sweet oil, was seen to approach Lord Decimus and glide +into conversation. + +'I must get Merdle's doctor to catch and secure him, I suppose,' said +Ferdinand; 'and then I must lay hold of my illustrious kinsman, and +decoy him if I can--drag him if I can't--to the conference.' + +'Since you do me the honour,' said Bar, with his slyest smile, to ask +for my poor aid, it shall be yours with the greatest pleasure. I don't +think this is to be done by one man. But if you will undertake to pen +my lord into that furthest drawing-room where he is now so profoundly +engaged, I will undertake to bring our dear Merdle into the presence, +without the possibility of getting away.' + +'Done!' said Ferdinand. 'Done!' said Bar. + +Bar was a sight wondrous to behold, and full of matter, when, jauntily +waving his double eye-glass by its ribbon, and jauntily drooping to an +Universe of Jurymen, he, in the most accidental manner ever seen, +found himself at Mr Merdle's shoulder, and embraced that opportunity of +mentioning a little point to him, on which he particularly wished to +be guided by the light of his practical knowledge. (Here he took Mr +Merdle's arm and walked him gently away.) A banker, whom we would call +A. B., advanced a considerable sum of money, which we would call fifteen +thousand pounds, to a client or customer of his, whom he would call P. +Q. (Here, as they were getting towards Lord Decimus, he held Mr Merdle +tight.) As a security for the repayment of this advance to P. Q. whom +we would call a widow lady, there were placed in A. B.'s hands the +title-deeds of a freehold estate, which we would call Blinkiter Doddles. +Now, the point was this. A limited right of felling and lopping in +the woods of Blinkiter Doddles, lay in the son of P. Q. then past his +majority, and whom we would call X. Y.--but really this was too bad! In +the presence of Lord Decimus, to detain the host with chopping our dry +chaff of law, was really too bad! Another time! Bar was truly repentant, +and would not say another syllable. Would Bishop favour him with +half-a-dozen words? (He had now set Mr Merdle down on a couch, side by +side with Lord Decimus, and to it they must go, now or never.) + +And now the rest of the company, highly excited and interested, always +excepting Bishop, who had not the slightest idea that anything was going +on, formed in one group round the fire in the next drawing-room, and +pretended to be chatting easily on the infinite variety of small topics, +while everybody's thoughts and eyes were secretly straying towards the +secluded pair. The Chorus were excessively nervous, perhaps as labouring +under the dreadful apprehension that some good thing was going to +be diverted from them! Bishop alone talked steadily and evenly. He +conversed with the great Physician on that relaxation of the throat with +which young curates were too frequently afflicted, and on the means +of lessening the great prevalence of that disorder in the church. +Physician, as a general rule, was of opinion that the best way to avoid +it was to know how to read, before you made a profession of reading. +Bishop said dubiously, did he really think so? And Physician said, +decidedly, yes he did. + +Ferdinand, meanwhile, was the only one of the party who skirmished on +the outside of the circle; he kept about mid-way between it and the +two, as if some sort of surgical operation were being performed by Lord +Decimus on Mr Merdle, or by Mr Merdle on Lord Decimus, and his services +might at any moment be required as Dresser. In fact, within a quarter +of an hour Lord Decimus called to him 'Ferdinand!' and he went, and +took his place in the conference for some five minutes more. Then a +half-suppressed gasp broke out among the Chorus; for Lord Decimus rose +to take his leave. Again coached up by Ferdinand to the point of making +himself popular, he shook hands in the most brilliant manner with the +whole company, and even said to Bar, 'I hope you were not bored by my +pears?' To which Bar retorted, 'Eton, my lord, or Parliamentary?' neatly +showing that he had mastered the joke, and delicately insinuating that +he could never forget it while his life remained. + +All the grave importance that was buttoned up in Mr Tite Barnacle, took +itself away next; and Ferdinand took himself away next, to the opera. +Some of the rest lingered a little, marrying golden liqueur glasses to +Buhl tables with sticky rings; on the desperate chance of Mr Merdle's +saying something. But Merdle, as usual, oozed sluggishly and muddily +about his drawing-room, saying never a word. + +In a day or two it was announced to all the town, that Edmund Sparkler, +Esquire, son-in-law of the eminent Mr Merdle of worldwide renown, was +made one of the Lords of the Circumlocution Office; and proclamation was +issued, to all true believers, that this admirable appointment was to +be hailed as a graceful and gracious mark of homage, rendered by the +graceful and gracious Decimus, to that commercial interest which must +ever in a great commercial country--and all the rest of it, with +blast of trumpet. So, bolstered by this mark of Government homage, the +wonderful Bank and all the other wonderful undertakings went on and went +up; and gapers came to Harley Street, Cavendish Square, only to look at +the house where the golden wonder lived. + +And when they saw the Chief Butler looking out at the hall-door in +his moments of condescension, the gapers said how rich he looked, and +wondered how much money he had in the wonderful Bank. But, if they had +known that respectable Nemesis better, they would not have wondered +about it, and might have stated the amount with the utmost precision. + + + + +CHAPTER 13. The Progress of an Epidemic + + +That it is at least as difficult to stay a moral infection as a physical +one; that such a disease will spread with the malignity and rapidity of +the Plague; that the contagion, when it has once made head, will spare +no pursuit or condition, but will lay hold on people in the soundest +health, and become developed in the most unlikely constitutions: is +a fact as firmly established by experience as that we human creatures +breathe an atmosphere. A blessing beyond appreciation would be conferred +upon mankind, if the tainted, in whose weakness or wickedness these +virulent disorders are bred, could be instantly seized and placed in +close confinement (not to say summarily smothered) before the poison is +communicable. + +As a vast fire will fill the air to a great distance with its roar, so +the sacred flame which the mighty Barnacles had fanned caused the air to +resound more and more with the name of Merdle. It was deposited on every +lip, and carried into every ear. There never was, there never had +been, there never again should be, such a man as Mr Merdle. Nobody, +as aforesaid, knew what he had done; but everybody knew him to be the +greatest that had appeared. + +Down in Bleeding Heart Yard, where there was not one unappropriated +halfpenny, as lively an interest was taken in this paragon of men as on +the Stock Exchange. Mrs Plornish, now established in the small grocery +and general trade in a snug little shop at the crack end of the Yard, +at the top of the steps, with her little old father and Maggy acting +as assistants, habitually held forth about him over the counter in +conversation with her customers. Mr Plornish, who had a small share in a +small builder's business in the neighbourhood, said, trowel in hand, on +the tops of scaffolds and on the tiles of houses, that people did tell +him as Mr Merdle was _the_ one, mind you, to put us all to rights in +respects of that which all on us looked to, and to bring us all safe +home as much as we needed, mind you, fur toe be brought. Mr Baptist, +sole lodger of Mr and Mrs Plornish was reputed in whispers to lay by +the savings which were the result of his simple and moderate life, +for investment in one of Mr Merdle's certain enterprises. The female +Bleeding Hearts, when they came for ounces of tea, and hundredweights of +talk, gave Mrs Plornish to understand, That how, ma'am, they had heard +from their cousin Mary Anne, which worked in the line, that his lady's +dresses would fill three waggons. That how she was as handsome a lady, +ma'am, as lived, no matter wheres, and a busk like marble itself. That +how, according to what they was told, ma'am, it was her son by a former +husband as was took into the Government; and a General he had been, and +armies he had marched again and victory crowned, if all you heard was to +be believed. That how it was reported that Mr Merdle's words had been, +that if they could have made it worth his while to take the whole +Government he would have took it without a profit, but that take it he +could not and stand a loss. That how it was not to be expected, ma'am, +that he should lose by it, his ways being, as you might say and utter +no falsehood, paved with gold; but that how it was much to be regretted +that something handsome hadn't been got up to make it worth his while; +for it was such and only such that knowed the heighth to which the bread +and butchers' meat had rose, and it was such and only such that both +could and would bring that heighth down. + +So rife and potent was the fever in Bleeding Heart Yard, that Mr +Pancks's rent-days caused no interval in the patients. The disease took +the singular form, on those occasions, of causing the infected to find +an unfathomable excuse and consolation in allusions to the magic name. + +'Now, then!' Mr Pancks would say, to a defaulting lodger. 'Pay up! +Come on!' + +'I haven't got it, Mr Pancks,' Defaulter would reply. 'I tell you the +truth, sir, when I say I haven't got so much as a single sixpence of it +to bless myself with.' + +'This won't do, you know,' Mr Pancks would retort. 'You don't expect it +_will_ do; do you?' + +Defaulter would admit, with a low-spirited 'No, sir,' having no such +expectation. + +'My proprietor isn't going to stand this, you know,' Mr Pancks would +proceed. 'He don't send me here for this. Pay up! Come!' + +The Defaulter would make answer, 'Ah, Mr Pancks. If I was the rich +gentleman whose name is in everybody's mouth--if my name was Merdle, +sir--I'd soon pay up, and be glad to do it.' + +Dialogues on the rent-question usually took place at the house-doors +or in the entries, and in the presence of several deeply interested +Bleeding Hearts. They always received a reference of this kind with a +low murmur of response, as if it were convincing; and the Defaulter, +however black and discomfited before, always cheered up a little in +making it. + +'If I was Mr Merdle, sir, you wouldn't have cause to complain of me +then. No, believe me!' the Defaulter would proceed with a shake of the +head. 'I'd pay up so quick then, Mr Pancks, that you shouldn't have to +ask me.' + +The response would be heard again here, implying that it was impossible +to say anything fairer, and that this was the next thing to paying the +money down. + +Mr Pancks would be now reduced to saying as he booked the case, 'Well! +You'll have the broker in, and be turned out; that's what'll happen to +you. It's no use talking to me about Mr Merdle. You are not Mr Merdle, +any more than I am.' + +'No, sir,' the Defaulter would reply. 'I only wish you _were_ him, sir.' + +The response would take this up quickly; replying with great feeling, +'Only wish you _were_ him, sir.' + +'You'd be easier with us if you were Mr Merdle, sir,' the Defaulter +would go on with rising spirits, 'and it would be better for all +parties. Better for our sakes, and better for yours, too. You wouldn't +have to worry no one, then, sir. You wouldn't have to worry us, and you +wouldn't have to worry yourself. You'd be easier in your own mind, sir, +and you'd leave others easier, too, you would, if you were Mr Merdle.' + +Mr Pancks, in whom these impersonal compliments produced an irresistible +sheepishness, never rallied after such a charge. He could only bite +his nails and puff away to the next Defaulter. The responsive Bleeding +Hearts would then gather round the Defaulter whom he had just abandoned, +and the most extravagant rumours would circulate among them, to their +great comfort, touching the amount of Mr Merdle's ready money. + +From one of the many such defeats of one of many rent-days, Mr Pancks, +having finished his day's collection, repaired with his note-book +under his arm to Mrs Plornish's corner. Mr Pancks's object was not +professional, but social. He had had a trying day, and wanted a little +brightening. By this time he was on friendly terms with the Plornish +family, having often looked in upon them at similar seasons, and borne +his part in recollections of Miss Dorrit. + +Mrs Plornish's shop-parlour had been decorated under her own eye, and +presented, on the side towards the shop, a little fiction in which Mrs +Plornish unspeakably rejoiced. This poetical heightening of the parlour +consisted in the wall being painted to represent the exterior of a +thatched cottage; the artist having introduced (in as effective a manner +as he found compatible with their highly disproportionate dimensions) +the real door and window. The modest sunflower and hollyhock were +depicted as flourishing with great luxuriance on this rustic dwelling, +while a quantity of dense smoke issuing from the chimney indicated good +cheer within, and also, perhaps, that it had not been lately swept. +A faithful dog was represented as flying at the legs of the friendly +visitor, from the threshold; and a circular pigeon-house, enveloped in a +cloud of pigeons, arose from behind the garden-paling. On the door (when +it was shut), appeared the semblance of a brass-plate, presenting +the inscription, Happy Cottage, T. and M. Plornish; the partnership +expressing man and wife. No Poetry and no Art ever charmed the +imagination more than the union of the two in this counterfeit cottage +charmed Mrs Plornish. It was nothing to her that Plornish had a habit +of leaning against it as he smoked his pipe after work, when his +hat blotted out the pigeon-house and all the pigeons, when his back +swallowed up the dwelling, when his hands in his pockets uprooted the +blooming garden and laid waste the adjacent country. To Mrs Plornish, it +was still a most beautiful cottage, a most wonderful deception; and +it made no difference that Mr Plornish's eye was some inches above the +level of the gable bed-room in the thatch. To come out into the shop +after it was shut, and hear her father sing a song inside this cottage, +was a perfect Pastoral to Mrs Plornish, the Golden Age revived. And +truly if that famous period had been revived, or had ever been at all, +it may be doubted whether it would have produced many more heartily +admiring daughters than the poor woman. + +Warned of a visitor by the tinkling bell at the shop-door, Mrs Plornish +came out of Happy Cottage to see who it might be. 'I guessed it was +you, Mr Pancks,' said she, 'for it's quite your regular night; ain't it? +Here's father, you see, come out to serve at the sound of the bell, like +a brisk young shopman. Ain't he looking well? Father's more pleased to +see you than if you was a customer, for he dearly loves a gossip; and +when it turns upon Miss Dorrit, he loves it all the more. You never +heard father in such voice as he is at present,' said Mrs Plornish, her +own voice quavering, she was so proud and pleased. 'He gave us Strephon +last night to that degree that Plornish gets up and makes him this +speech across the table. "John Edward Nandy," says Plornish to father, +"I never heard you come the warbles as I have heard you come the warbles +this night." An't it gratifying, Mr Pancks, though; really?' + +Mr Pancks, who had snorted at the old man in his friendliest manner, +replied in the affirmative, and casually asked whether that lively Altro +chap had come in yet? Mrs Plornish answered no, not yet, though he had +gone to the West-End with some work, and had said he should be back +by tea-time. Mr Pancks was then hospitably pressed into Happy Cottage, +where he encountered the elder Master Plornish just come home from +school. Examining that young student, lightly, on the educational +proceedings of the day, he found that the more advanced pupils who +were in the large text and the letter M, had been set the copy 'Merdle, +Millions.' + +'And how are _you_ getting on, Mrs Plornish,' said Pancks, 'since we're +mentioning millions?' + +'Very steady, indeed, sir,' returned Mrs Plornish. 'Father, dear, would +you go into the shop and tidy the window a little bit before tea, your +taste being so beautiful?' + +John Edward Nandy trotted away, much gratified, to comply with his +daughter's request. Mrs Plornish, who was always in mortal terror +of mentioning pecuniary affairs before the old gentleman, lest any +disclosure she made might rouse his spirit and induce him to run away to +the workhouse, was thus left free to be confidential with Mr Pancks. + +'It's quite true that the business is very steady indeed,' said Mrs +Plornish, lowering her voice; 'and has a excellent connection. The only +thing that stands in its way, sir, is the Credit.' + +This drawback, rather severely felt by most people who engaged in +commercial transactions with the inhabitants of Bleeding Heart Yard, +was a large stumbling-block in Mrs Plornish's trade. When Mr Dorrit had +established her in the business, the Bleeding Hearts had shown an amount +of emotion and a determination to support her in it, that did honour to +human nature. Recognising her claim upon their generous feelings as one +who had long been a member of their community, they pledged themselves, +with great feeling, to deal with Mrs Plornish, come what would and +bestow their patronage on no other establishment. Influenced by these +noble sentiments, they had even gone out of their way to purchase little +luxuries in the grocery and butter line to which they were unaccustomed; +saying to one another, that if they did stretch a point, was it not for +a neighbour and a friend, and for whom ought a point to be stretched if +not for such? So stimulated, the business was extremely brisk, and the +articles in stock went off with the greatest celerity. In short, if the + +Bleeding Hearts had but paid, the undertaking would have been a complete +success; whereas, by reason of their exclusively confining themselves to +owing, the profits actually realised had not yet begun to appear in the +books. + +Mr Pancks was making a very porcupine of himself by sticking his hair +up in the contemplation of this state of accounts, when old Mr Nandy, +re-entering the cottage with an air of mystery, entreated them to come +and look at the strange behaviour of Mr Baptist, who seemed to have met +with something that had scared him. All three going into the shop, and +watching through the window, then saw Mr Baptist, pale and agitated, go +through the following extraordinary performances. First, he was observed +hiding at the top of the steps leading down into the Yard, and peeping +up and down the street with his head cautiously thrust out close to the +side of the shop-door. After very anxious scrutiny, he came out of +his retreat, and went briskly down the street as if he were going away +altogether; then, suddenly turned about, and went, at the same pace, and +with the same feint, up the street. He had gone no further up the street +than he had gone down, when he crossed the road and disappeared. The +object of this last manoeuvre was only apparent, when his entering the +shop with a sudden twist, from the steps again, explained that he +had made a wide and obscure circuit round to the other, or Doyce and +Clennam, end of the Yard, and had come through the Yard and bolted in. +He was out of breath by that time, as he might well be, and his heart +seemed to jerk faster than the little shop-bell, as it quivered and +jingled behind him with his hasty shutting of the door. + +'Hallo, old chap!' said Mr Pancks. 'Altro, old boy! What's the matter?' + +Mr Baptist, or Signor Cavalletto, understood English now almost as well +as Mr Pancks himself, and could speak it very well too. Nevertheless, +Mrs Plornish, with a pardonable vanity in that accomplishment of hers +which made her all but Italian, stepped in as interpreter. + +'E ask know,' said Mrs Plornish, 'what go wrong?' + +'Come into the happy little cottage, Padrona,' returned Mr Baptist, +imparting great stealthiness to his flurried back-handed shake of his +right forefinger. 'Come there!' + +Mrs Plornish was proud of the title Padrona, which she regarded as +signifying: not so much Mistress of the house, as Mistress of the +Italian tongue. She immediately complied with Mr Baptist's request, and +they all went into the cottage. + +'E ope you no fright,' said Mrs Plornish then, interpreting Mr Pancks +in a new way with her usual fertility of resource. 'What appen? Peaka +Padrona!' + +'I have seen some one,' returned Baptist. 'I have rincontrato him.' + +'Im? Oo him?' asked Mrs Plornish. + +'A bad man. A baddest man. I have hoped that I should never see him +again.' + +'Ow you know him bad?' asked Mrs Plornish. + +'It does not matter, Padrona. I know it too well.' + +'E see you?' asked Mrs Plornish. + +'No. I hope not. I believe not.' + +'He says,' Mrs Plornish then interpreted, addressing her father and +Pancks with mild condescension, 'that he has met a bad man, but he hopes +the bad man didn't see him--Why,' inquired Mrs Plornish, reverting to +the Italian language, 'why ope bad man no see?' + +'Padrona, dearest,' returned the little foreigner whom she so +considerately protected, 'do not ask, I pray. Once again I say it +matters not. I have fear of this man. I do not wish to see him, I do not +wish to be known of him--never again! Enough, most beautiful. Leave it.' + +The topic was so disagreeable to him, and so put his usual liveliness to +the rout, that Mrs Plornish forbore to press him further: the rather as +the tea had been drawing for some time on the hob. But she was not the +less surprised and curious for asking no more questions; neither was +Mr Pancks, whose expressive breathing had been labouring hard since the +entrance of the little man, like a locomotive engine with a great load +getting up a steep incline. Maggy, now better dressed than of yore, +though still faithful to the monstrous character of her cap, had been +in the background from the first with open mouth and eyes, which staring +and gaping features were not diminished in breadth by the untimely +suppression of the subject. However, no more was said about it, though +much appeared to be thought on all sides: by no means excepting the two +young Plornishes, who partook of the evening meal as if their eating +the bread and butter were rendered almost superfluous by the painful +probability of the worst of men shortly presenting himself for the +purpose of eating them. Mr Baptist, by degrees began to chirp a little; +but never stirred from the seat he had taken behind the door and close +to the window, though it was not his usual place. As often as the little +bell rang, he started and peeped out secretly, with the end of the +little curtain in his hand and the rest before his face; evidently not +at all satisfied but that the man he dreaded had tracked him through all +his doublings and turnings, with the certainty of a terrible bloodhound. + +The entrance, at various times, of two or three customers and of Mr +Plornish, gave Mr Baptist just enough of this employment to keep the +attention of the company fixed upon him. Tea was over, and the children +were abed, and Mrs Plornish was feeling her way to the dutiful proposal +that her father should favour them with Chloe, when the bell rang again, +and Mr Clennam came in. + +Clennam had been poring late over his books and letters; for the +waiting-rooms of the Circumlocution Office ravaged his time sorely. +Over and above that, he was depressed and made uneasy by the late +occurrence at his mother's. He looked worn and solitary. He felt so, +too; but, nevertheless, was returning home from his counting-house by +that end of the Yard to give them the intelligence that he had received +another letter from Miss Dorrit. + +The news made a sensation in the cottage which drew off the general +attention from Mr Baptist. Maggy, who pushed her way into the foreground +immediately, would have seemed to draw in the tidings of her Little +Mother equally at her ears, nose, mouth, and eyes, but that the last +were obstructed by tears. She was particularly delighted when Clennam +assured her that there were hospitals, and very kindly conducted +hospitals, in Rome. Mr Pancks rose into new distinction in virtue of +being specially remembered in the letter. Everybody was pleased and +interested, and Clennam was well repaid for his trouble. + +'But you are tired, sir. Let me make you a cup of tea,' said Mrs +Plornish, 'if you'd condescend to take such a thing in the cottage; and +many thanks to you, too, I am sure, for bearing us in mind so kindly.' + +Mr Plornish deeming it incumbent on him, as host, to add his personal +acknowledgments, tendered them in the form which always expressed his +highest ideal of a combination of ceremony with sincerity. + +'John Edward Nandy,' said Mr Plornish, addressing the old gentleman. +'Sir. It's not too often that you see unpretending actions without a +spark of pride, and therefore when you see them give grateful honour +unto the same, being that if you don't, and live to want 'em, it follows +serve you right.' + +To which Mr Nandy replied: + +'I am heartily of your opinion, Thomas, and which your opinion is the +same as mine, and therefore no more words and not being backwards +with that opinion, which opinion giving it as yes, Thomas, yes, is the +opinion in which yourself and me must ever be unanimously jined by all, +and where there is not difference of opinion there can be none but one +opinion, which fully no, Thomas, Thomas, no!' + +Arthur, with less formality, expressed himself gratified by their high +appreciation of so very slight an attention on his part; and explained +as to the tea that he had not yet dined, and was going straight home to +refresh after a long day's labour, or he would have readily accepted the +hospitable offer. As Mr Pancks was somewhat noisily getting his steam +up for departure, he concluded by asking that gentleman if he would walk +with him? Mr Pancks said he desired no better engagement, and the two +took leave of Happy Cottage. + +'If you will come home with me, Pancks,' said Arthur, when they got into +the street, 'and will share what dinner or supper there is, it will +be next door to an act of charity; for I am weary and out of sorts +to-night.' + +'Ask me to do a greater thing than that,' said Pancks, 'when you want it +done, and I'll do it.' + +Between this eccentric personage and Clennam, a tacit understanding and +accord had been always improving since Mr Pancks flew over Mr Rugg's +back in the Marshalsea Yard. When the carriage drove away on the +memorable day of the family's departure, these two had looked after it +together, and had walked slowly away together. When the first letter +came from little Dorrit, nobody was more interested in hearing of +her than Mr Pancks. The second letter, at that moment in Clennam's +breast-pocket, particularly remembered him by name. Though he had never +before made any profession or protestation to Clennam, and though what +he had just said was little enough as to the words in which it was +expressed, Clennam had long had a growing belief that Mr Pancks, in +his own odd way, was becoming attached to him. All these strings +intertwining made Pancks a very cable of anchorage that night. + +'I am quite alone,' Arthur explained as they walked on. 'My partner is +away, busily engaged at a distance on his branch of our business, and +you shall do just as you like.' + +'Thank you. You didn't take particular notice of little Altro just now; +did you?' said Pancks. + +'No. Why?' + +'He's a bright fellow, and I like him,' said Pancks. 'Something has +gone amiss with him to-day. Have you any idea of any cause that can have +overset him?' + +'You surprise me! None whatever.' + +Mr Pancks gave his reasons for the inquiry. Arthur was quite unprepared +for them, and quite unable to suggest an explanation of them. + +'Perhaps you'll ask him,' said Pancks, 'as he's a stranger?' + +'Ask him what?' returned Clennam. + +'What he has on his mind.' + +'I ought first to see for myself that he has something on his mind, I +think,' said Clennam. 'I have found him in every way so diligent, so +grateful (for little enough), and so trustworthy, that it might look +like suspecting him. And that would be very unjust.' + +'True,' said Pancks. 'But, I say! You oughtn't to be anybody's +proprietor, Mr Clennam. You're much too delicate.' + +'For the matter of that,' returned Clennam laughing, 'I have not a large +proprietary share in Cavalletto. His carving is his livelihood. He keeps +the keys of the Factory, watches it every alternate night, and acts as a +sort of housekeeper to it generally; but we have little work in the way +of his ingenuity, though we give him what we have. No! I am rather his +adviser than his proprietor. To call me his standing counsel and his +banker would be nearer the fact. Speaking of being his banker, is it not +curious, Pancks, that the ventures which run just now in so many +people's heads, should run even in little Cavalletto's?' + +'Ventures?' retorted Pancks, with a snort. 'What ventures?' + +'These Merdle enterprises.' + +'Oh! Investments,' said Pancks. 'Ay, ay! I didn't know you were speaking +of investments.' + +His quick way of replying caused Clennam to look at him, with a doubt +whether he meant more than he said. As it was accompanied, however, with +a quickening of his pace and a corresponding increase in the labouring +of his machinery, Arthur did not pursue the matter, and they soon +arrived at his house. + +A dinner of soup and a pigeon-pie, served on a little round table before +the fire, and flavoured with a bottle of good wine, oiled Mr Pancks's +works in a highly effective manner; so that when Clennam produced his +Eastern pipe, and handed Mr Pancks another Eastern pipe, the latter +gentleman was perfectly comfortable. + +They puffed for a while in silence, Mr Pancks like a steam-vessel +with wind, tide, calm water, and all other sea-going conditions in her +favour. He was the first to speak, and he spoke thus: + +'Yes. Investments is the word.' + +Clennam, with his former look, said 'Ah!' + +'I am going back to it, you see,' said Pancks. + +'Yes. I see you are going back to it,' returned Clennam, wondering why. + +'Wasn't it a curious thing that they should run in little Altro's head? +Eh?' said Pancks as he smoked. 'Wasn't that how you put it?' + +'That was what I said.' + +'Ay! But think of the whole Yard having got it. Think of their +all meeting me with it, on my collecting days, here and there and +everywhere. Whether they pay, or whether they don't pay. Merdle, Merdle, +Merdle. Always Merdle.' + +'Very strange how these runs on an infatuation prevail,' said Arthur. + +'An't it?' returned Pancks. After smoking for a minute or so, more drily +than comported with his recent oiling, he added: 'Because you see these +people don't understand the subject.' + +'Not a bit,' assented Clennam. + +'Not a bit,' cried Pancks. 'Know nothing of figures. Know nothing of +money questions. Never made a calculation. Never worked it, sir!' + +'If they had--' Clennam was going on to say; when Mr Pancks, without +change of countenance, produced a sound so far surpassing all his usual +efforts, nasal or bronchial, that he stopped. + +'If they had?' repeated Pancks in an inquiring tone. + +'I thought you--spoke,' said Arthur, hesitating what name to give the +interruption. + +'Not at all,' said Pancks. 'Not yet. I may in a minute. If they had?' + +'If they had,' observed Clennam, who was a little at a loss how to take +his friend, 'why, I suppose they would have known better.' + +'How so, Mr Clennam?' Pancks asked quickly, and with an odd effect of +having been from the commencement of the conversation loaded with the +heavy charge he now fired off. 'They're right, you know. They don't mean +to be, but they're right.' + +'Right in sharing Cavalletto's inclination to speculate with Mr Merdle?' + +'Per-fectly, sir,' said Pancks. 'I've gone into it. I've made the +calculations. I've worked it. They're safe and genuine.' Relieved by +having got to this, Mr Pancks took as long a pull as his lungs would +permit at his Eastern pipe, and looked sagaciously and steadily at +Clennam while inhaling and exhaling too. + +In those moments, Mr Pancks began to give out the dangerous infection +with which he was laden. It is the manner of communicating these +diseases; it is the subtle way in which they go about. + +'Do you mean, my good Pancks,' asked Clennam emphatically, 'that you +would put that thousand pounds of yours, let us say, for instance, out +at this kind of interest?' + +'Certainly,' said Pancks. 'Already done it, sir.' + +Mr Pancks took another long inhalation, another long exhalation, another +long sagacious look at Clennam. + +'I tell you, Mr Clennam, I've gone into it,' said Pancks. 'He's a man of +immense resources--enormous capital--government influence. They're the +best schemes afloat. They're safe. They're certain.' + +'Well!' returned Clennam, looking first at him gravely and then at the +fire gravely. 'You surprise me!' + +'Bah!' Pancks retorted. 'Don't say that, sir. It's what you ought to do +yourself! Why don't you do as I do?' + +Of whom Mr Pancks had taken the prevalent disease, he could no more have +told than if he had unconsciously taken a fever. Bred at first, as many +physical diseases are, in the wickedness of men, and then disseminated +in their ignorance, these epidemics, after a period, get communicated to +many sufferers who are neither ignorant nor wicked. Mr Pancks might, or +might not, have caught the illness himself from a subject of this class; +but in this category he appeared before Clennam, and the infection he +threw off was all the more virulent. + +'And you have really invested,' Clennam had already passed to that word, +'your thousand pounds, Pancks?' + +'To be sure, sir!' replied Pancks boldly, with a puff of smoke. 'And +only wish it ten!' + +Now, Clennam had two subjects lying heavy on his lonely mind that night; +the one, his partner's long-deferred hope; the other, what he had seen +and heard at his mother's. In the relief of having this companion, +and of feeling that he could trust him, he passed on to both, and both +brought him round again, with an increase and acceleration of force, to +his point of departure. + +It came about in the simplest manner. Quitting the investment subject, +after an interval of silent looking at the fire through the smoke of his +pipe, he told Pancks how and why he was occupied with the great National +Department. 'A hard case it has been, and a hard case it is on Doyce,' +he finished by saying, with all the honest feeling the topic roused in +him. + +'Hard indeed,' Pancks acquiesced. 'But you manage for him, Mr Clennam?' + +'How do you mean?' + +'Manage the money part of the business?' + +'Yes. As well as I can.' + +'Manage it better, sir,' said Pancks. 'Recompense him for his toils and +disappointments. Give him the chances of the time. He'll never benefit +himself in that way, patient and preoccupied workman. He looks to you, +sir.' + +'I do my best, Pancks,' returned Clennam, uneasily. 'As to duly weighing +and considering these new enterprises of which I have had no experience, +I doubt if I am fit for it, I am growing old.' + +'Growing old?' cried Pancks. 'Ha, ha!' + +There was something so indubitably genuine in the wonderful laugh, and +series of snorts and puffs, engendered in Mr Pancks's astonishment at, +and utter rejection of, the idea, that his being quite in earnest could +not be questioned. + +'Growing old?' cried Pancks. 'Hear, hear, hear! Old? Hear him, hear +him!' + +The positive refusal expressed in Mr Pancks's continued snorts, no less +than in these exclamations, to entertain the sentiment for a single +instant, drove Arthur away from it. Indeed, he was fearful of something +happening to Mr Pancks in the violent conflict that took place between +the breath he jerked out of himself and the smoke he jerked into +himself. This abandonment of the second topic threw him on the third. + +'Young, old, or middle-aged, Pancks,' he said, when there was a +favourable pause, 'I am in a very anxious and uncertain state; a state +that even leads me to doubt whether anything now seeming to belong to +me, may be really mine. Shall I tell you how this is? Shall I put a +great trust in you?' + +'You shall, sir,' said Pancks, 'if you believe me worthy of it.' + +'I do.' + +'You may!' Mr Pancks's short and sharp rejoinder, confirmed by the +sudden outstretching of his coaly hand, was most expressive and +convincing. Arthur shook the hand warmly. + +He then, softening the nature of his old apprehensions as much as was +possible consistently with their being made intelligible and never +alluding to his mother by name, but speaking vaguely of a relation +of his, confided to Mr Pancks a broad outline of the misgivings he +entertained, and of the interview he had witnessed. Mr Pancks listened +with such interest that, regardless of the charms of the Eastern pipe, +he put it in the grate among the fire-irons, and occupied his hands +during the whole recital in so erecting the loops and hooks of hair +all over his head, that he looked, when it came to a conclusion, like a +journeyman Hamlet in conversation with his father's spirit. + +'Brings me back, sir,' was his exclamation then, with a startling touch +on Clennam's knee, 'brings me back, sir, to the Investments! I don't +say anything of your making yourself poor to repair a wrong you never +committed. That's you. A man must be himself. But I say this, +fearing you may want money to save your own blood from exposure and +disgrace--make as much as you can!' + +Arthur shook his head, but looked at him thoughtfully too. + +'Be as rich as you can, sir,' Pancks adjured him with a powerful +concentration of all his energies on the advice. 'Be as rich as you +honestly can. It's your duty. Not for your sake, but for the sake of +others. Take time by the forelock. Poor Mr Doyce (who really _is_ growing +old) depends upon you. Your relative depends upon you. You don't know +what depends upon you.' + +'Well, well, well!' returned Arthur. 'Enough for to-night.' + +'One word more, Mr Clennam,' retorted Pancks, 'and then enough for +to-night. Why should you leave all the gains to the gluttons, knaves, +and impostors? Why should you leave all the gains that are to be got to +my proprietor and the like of him? Yet you're always doing it. When I +say you, I mean such men as you. You know you are. Why, I see it +every day of my life. I see nothing else. It's my business to see it. +Therefore I say,' urged Pancks, 'Go in and win!' + +'But what of Go in and lose?' said Arthur. + +'Can't be done, sir,' returned Pancks. 'I have looked into it. Name up +everywhere--immense resources--enormous capital--great position--high +connection--government influence. Can't be done!' + +Gradually, after this closing exposition, Mr Pancks subsided; allowed +his hair to droop as much as it ever would droop on the utmost +persuasion; reclaimed the pipe from the fire-irons, filled it anew, and +smoked it out. They said little more; but were company to one another in +silently pursuing the same subjects, and did not part until midnight. +On taking his leave, Mr Pancks, when he had shaken hands with Clennam, +worked completely round him before he steamed out at the door. This, +Arthur received as an assurance that he might implicitly rely on Pancks, +if he ever should come to need assistance; either in any of the matters +of which they had spoken that night, or any other subject that could in +any way affect himself. + +At intervals all next day, and even while his attention was fixed on +other things, he thought of Mr Pancks's investment of his thousand +pounds, and of his having 'looked into it.' He thought of Mr Pancks's +being so sanguine in this matter, and of his not being usually of a +sanguine character. He thought of the great National Department, and of +the delight it would be to him to see Doyce better off. He thought +of the darkly threatening place that went by the name of Home in his +remembrance, and of the gathering shadows which made it yet more darkly +threatening than of old. He observed anew that wherever he went, he +saw, or heard, or touched, the celebrated name of Merdle; he found it +difficult even to remain at his desk a couple of hours, without having +it presented to one of his bodily senses through some agency or other. +He began to think it was curious too that it should be everywhere, and +that nobody but he should seem to have any mistrust of it. Though indeed +he began to remember, when he got to this, even _he_ did not mistrust it; +he had only happened to keep aloof from it. + +Such symptoms, when a disease of the kind is rife, are usually the signs +of sickening. + + + + +CHAPTER 14. Taking Advice + + +When it became known to the Britons on the shore of the yellow Tiber +that their intelligent compatriot, Mr Sparkler, was made one of the +Lords of their Circumlocution Office, they took it as a piece of news +with which they had no nearer concern than with any other piece of +news--any other Accident or Offence--in the English papers. Some +laughed; some said, by way of complete excuse, that the post was +virtually a sinecure, and any fool who could spell his name was good +enough for it; some, and these the more solemn political oracles, +said that Decimus did wisely to strengthen himself, and that the sole +constitutional purpose of all places within the gift of Decimus, was, +that Decimus _should_ strengthen himself. A few bilious Britons there were +who would not subscribe to this article of faith; but their objection +was purely theoretical. In a practical point of view, they listlessly +abandoned the matter, as being the business of some other Britons +unknown, somewhere, or nowhere. In like manner, at home, great numbers +of Britons maintained, for as long as four-and-twenty consecutive hours, +that those invisible and anonymous Britons 'ought to take it up;' and +that if they quietly acquiesced in it, they deserved it. But of what +class the remiss Britons were composed, and where the unlucky creatures +hid themselves, and why they hid themselves, and how it constantly +happened that they neglected their interests, when so many other Britons +were quite at a loss to account for their not looking after those +interests, was not, either upon the shore of the yellow Tiber or the +shore of the black Thames, made apparent to men. + +Mrs Merdle circulated the news, as she received congratulations on it, +with a careless grace that displayed it to advantage, as the setting +displays the jewel. Yes, she said, Edmund had taken the place. Mr Merdle +wished him to take it, and he had taken it. She hoped Edmund might like +it, but really she didn't know. It would keep him in town a good +deal, and he preferred the country. Still, it was not a disagreeable +position--and it was a position. There was no denying that the thing +was a compliment to Mr Merdle, and was not a bad thing for Edmund if he +liked it. It was just as well that he should have something to do, and +it was just as well that he should have something for doing it. Whether +it would be more agreeable to Edmund than the army, remained to be seen. + +Thus the Bosom; accomplished in the art of seeming to make things of +small account, and really enhancing them in the process. While Henry +Gowan, whom Decimus had thrown away, went through the whole round of +his acquaintance between the Gate of the People and the town of Albano, +vowing, almost (but not quite) with tears in his eyes, that Sparkler was +the sweetest-tempered, simplest-hearted, altogether most lovable jackass +that ever grazed on the public common; and that only one circumstance +could have delighted him (Gowan) more, than his (the beloved jackass's) +getting this post, and that would have been his (Gowan's) getting it +himself. He said it was the very thing for Sparkler. There was nothing +to do, and he would do it charmingly; there was a handsome salary to +draw, and he would draw it charmingly; it was a delightful, appropriate, +capital appointment; and he almost forgave the donor his slight of +himself, in his joy that the dear donkey for whom he had so great an +affection was so admirably stabled. Nor did his benevolence stop here. +He took pains, on all social occasions, to draw Mr Sparkler out, and +make him conspicuous before the company; and, although the considerate +action always resulted in that young gentleman's making a dreary and +forlorn mental spectacle of himself, the friendly intention was not to +be doubted. + +Unless, indeed, it chanced to be doubted by the object of Mr Sparkler's +affections. Miss Fanny was now in the difficult situation of being +universally known in that light, and of not having dismissed Mr +Sparkler, however capriciously she used him. Hence, she was sufficiently +identified with the gentleman to feel compromised by his being more than +usually ridiculous; and hence, being by no means deficient in quickness, +she sometimes came to his rescue against Gowan, and did him very good +service. But, while doing this, she was ashamed of him, undetermined +whether to get rid of him or more decidedly encourage him, distracted +with apprehensions that she was every day becoming more and more +immeshed in her uncertainties, and tortured by misgivings that Mrs +Merdle triumphed in her distress. With this tumult in her mind, it is no +subject for surprise that Miss Fanny came home one night in a state +of agitation from a concert and ball at Mrs Merdle's house, and on her +sister affectionately trying to soothe her, pushed that sister away from +the toilette-table at which she sat angrily trying to cry, and declared +with a heaving bosom that she detested everybody, and she wished she was +dead. + +'Dear Fanny, what is the matter? Tell me.' + +'Matter, you little Mole,' said Fanny. 'If you were not the blindest of +the blind, you would have no occasion to ask me. The idea of daring to +pretend to assert that you have eyes in your head, and yet ask me what's +the matter!' + +'Is it Mr Sparkler, dear?' + +'Mis-ter Spark-ler!' repeated Fanny, with unbounded scorn, as if he were +the last subject in the Solar system that could possibly be near her +mind. 'No, Miss Bat, it is not.' + +Immediately afterwards, she became remorseful for having called her +sister names; declaring with sobs that she knew she made herself +hateful, but that everybody drove her to it. + +'I don't think you are well to-night, dear Fanny.' + +'Stuff and nonsense!' replied the young lady, turning angry again; 'I am +as well as you are. Perhaps I might say better, and yet make no boast of +it.' + +Poor Little Dorrit, not seeing her way to the offering of any soothing +words that would escape repudiation, deemed it best to remain quiet. At +first, Fanny took this ill, too; protesting to her looking-glass, that +of all the trying sisters a girl could have, she did think the most +trying sister was a flat sister. That she knew she was at times a +wretched temper; that she knew she made herself hateful; that when she +made herself hateful, nothing would do her half the good as being told +so; but that, being afflicted with a flat sister, she never _was_ told so, +and the consequence resulted that she was absolutely tempted and +goaded into making herself disagreeable. Besides (she angrily told +her looking-glass), she didn't want to be forgiven. It was not a right +example, that she should be constantly stooping to be forgiven by a +younger sister. And this was the Art of it--that she was always being +placed in the position of being forgiven, whether she liked it or not. +Finally she burst into violent weeping, and, when her sister came and +sat close at her side to comfort her, said, 'Amy, you're an Angel!' + +'But, I tell you what, my Pet,' said Fanny, when her sister's gentleness +had calmed her, 'it now comes to this; that things cannot and shall not +go on as they are at present going on, and that there must be an end of +this, one way or another.' + +As the announcement was vague, though very peremptory, Little Dorrit +returned, 'Let us talk about it.' + +'Quite so, my dear,' assented Fanny, as she dried her eyes. 'Let us talk +about it. I am rational again now, and you shall advise me. _Will_ you +advise me, my sweet child?' + +Even Amy smiled at this notion, but she said, 'I will, Fanny, as well as +I can.' + +'Thank you, dearest Amy,' returned Fanny, kissing her. 'You are my +anchor.' + +Having embraced her Anchor with great affection, Fanny took a bottle of +sweet toilette water from the table, and called to her maid for a fine +handkerchief. She then dismissed that attendant for the night, and went +on to be advised; dabbing her eyes and forehead from time to time to +cool them. + +'My love,' Fanny began, 'our characters and points of view are +sufficiently different (kiss me again, my darling), to make it very +probable that I shall surprise you by what I am going to say. What I am +going to say, my dear, is, that notwithstanding our property, we labour, +socially speaking, under disadvantages. You don't quite understand what +I mean, Amy?' + +'I have no doubt I shall,' said Amy, mildly, 'after a few words more.' + +'Well, my dear, what I mean is, that we are, after all, newcomers into +fashionable life.' + +'I am sure, Fanny,' Little Dorrit interposed in her zealous admiration, +'no one need find that out in you.' + +'Well, my dear child, perhaps not,' said Fanny, 'though it's most kind +and most affectionate in you, you precious girl, to say so.' Here she +dabbed her sister's forehead, and blew upon it a little. 'But you are,' +resumed Fanny, 'as is well known, the dearest little thing that ever +was! To resume, my child. Pa is extremely gentlemanly and extremely well +informed, but he is, in some trifling respects, a little different from +other gentlemen of his fortune: partly on account of what he has gone +through, poor dear: partly, I fancy, on account of its often running in +his mind that other people are thinking about that, while he is talking +to them. Uncle, my love, is altogether unpresentable. Though a dear +creature to whom I am tenderly attached, he is, socially speaking, +shocking. Edward is frightfully expensive and dissipated. I don't mean +that there is anything ungenteel in that itself--far from it--but I +do mean that he doesn't do it well, and that he doesn't, if I may +so express myself, get the money's-worth in the sort of dissipated +reputation that attaches to him.' + +'Poor Edward!' sighed Little Dorrit, with the whole family history in +the sigh. + +'Yes. And poor you and me, too,' returned Fanny, rather sharply. +'Very true! Then, my dear, we have no mother, and we have a Mrs General. +And I tell you again, darling, that Mrs General, if I may reverse a +common proverb and adapt it to her, is a cat in gloves who _will_ +catch mice. That woman, I am quite sure and confident, will be our +mother-in-law.' + +'I can hardly think, Fanny--' Fanny stopped her. + +'Now, don't argue with me about it, Amy,' said she, 'because I know +better.' Feeling that she had been sharp again, she dabbed her sister's +forehead again, and blew upon it again. 'To resume once more, my dear. +It then becomes a question with me (I am proud and spirited, Amy, as you +very well know: too much so, I dare say) whether I shall make up my mind +to take it upon myself to carry the family through.' + +'How?' asked her sister, anxiously. + +'I will not,' said Fanny, without answering the question, 'submit to +be mother-in-lawed by Mrs General; and I will not submit to be, in any +respect whatever, either patronised or tormented by Mrs Merdle.' + +Little Dorrit laid her hand upon the hand that held the bottle of sweet +water, with a still more anxious look. Fanny, quite punishing her own +forehead with the vehement dabs she now began to give it, fitfully went +on. + +'That he has somehow or other, and how is of no consequence, attained a +very good position, no one can deny. That it is a very good connection, +no one can deny. And as to the question of clever or not clever, I doubt +very much whether a clever husband would be suitable to me. I cannot +submit. I should not be able to defer to him enough.' + +'O, my dear Fanny!' expostulated Little Dorrit, upon whom a kind of +terror had been stealing as she perceived what her sister meant. 'If you +loved any one, all this feeling would change. If you loved any one, you +would no more be yourself, but you would quite lose and forget yourself +in your devotion to him. If you loved him, Fanny--' Fanny had stopped +the dabbing hand, and was looking at her fixedly. + +'O, indeed!' cried Fanny. 'Really? Bless me, how much some people know +of some subjects! They say every one has a subject, and I certainly +seem to have hit upon yours, Amy. There, you little thing, I was only in +fun,' dabbing her sister's forehead; 'but don't you be a silly puss, +and don't you think flightily and eloquently about degenerate +impossibilities. There! Now, I'll go back to myself.' + +'Dear Fanny, let me say first, that I would far rather we worked for +a scanty living again than I would see you rich and married to Mr +Sparkler.' + +'_Let_ you say, my dear?' retorted Fanny. 'Why, of course, I will _let_ +you say anything. There is no constraint upon you, I hope. We are +together to talk it over. And as to marrying Mr Sparkler, I have not the +slightest intention of doing so to-night, my dear, or to-morrow morning +either.' + +'But at some time?' + +'At no time, for anything I know at present,' answered Fanny, with +indifference. Then, suddenly changing her indifference into a burning +restlessness, she added, 'You talk about the clever men, you little +thing! It's all very fine and easy to talk about the clever men; but +where are they? _I_ don't see them anywhere near _me_!' + +'My dear Fanny, so short a time--' + +'Short time or long time,' interrupted Fanny. 'I am impatient of our +situation. I don't like our situation, and very little would induce +me to change it. Other girls, differently reared and differently +circumstanced altogether, might wonder at what I say or may do. Let +them. They are driven by their lives and characters; I am driven by +mine.' + +'Fanny, my dear Fanny, you know that you have qualities to make you the +wife of one very superior to Mr Sparkler.' + +'Amy, my dear Amy,' retorted Fanny, parodying her words, 'I know that I +wish to have a more defined and distinct position, in which I can assert +myself with greater effect against that insolent woman.' + +'Would you therefore--forgive my asking, Fanny--therefore marry her +son?' + +'Why, perhaps,' said Fanny, with a triumphant smile. 'There may be many +less promising ways of arriving at an end than that, my dear. That piece +of insolence may think, now, that it would be a great success to get her +son off upon me, and shelve me. But, perhaps, she little thinks how I +would retort upon her if I married her son. I would oppose her in +everything, and compete with her. I would make it the business of my +life.' + +Fanny set down the bottle when she came to this, and walked about the +room; always stopping and standing still while she spoke. + +'One thing I could certainly do, my child: I could make her older. And I +would!' + +This was followed by another walk. + +'I would talk of her as an old woman. I would pretend to know--if I +didn't, but I should from her son--all about her age. And she should +hear me say, Amy: affectionately, quite dutifully and affectionately: +how well she looked, considering her time of life. I could make her seem +older at once, by being myself so much younger. I may not be as handsome +as she is; I am not a fair judge of that question, I suppose; but I know +I am handsome enough to be a thorn in her side. And I would be!' + +'My dear sister, would you condemn yourself to an unhappy life for +this?' + +'It wouldn't be an unhappy life, Amy. It would be the life I am fitted +for. Whether by disposition, or whether by circumstances, is no matter; +I am better fitted for such a life than for almost any other.' + +There was something of a desolate tone in those words; but, with a +short proud laugh she took another walk, and after passing a great +looking-glass came to another stop. + +'Figure! Figure, Amy! Well. The woman has a good figure. I will give her +her due, and not deny it. But is it so far beyond all others that it is +altogether unapproachable? Upon my word, I am not so sure of it. Give +some much younger woman the latitude as to dress that she has, being +married; and we would see about that, my dear!' + +Something in the thought that was agreeable and flattering, brought her +back to her seat in a gayer temper. She took her sister's hands in hers, +and clapped all four hands above her head as she looked in her sister's +face laughing: + +'And the dancer, Amy, that she has quite forgotten--the dancer who bore +no sort of resemblance to me, and of whom I never remind her, oh dear +no!--should dance through her life, and dance in her way, to such a tune +as would disturb her insolent placidity a little. Just a little, my dear +Amy, just a little!' + +Meeting an earnest and imploring look in Amy's face, she brought the +four hands down, and laid only one on Amy's lips. + +'Now, don't argue with me, child,' she said in a sterner way, 'because +it is of no use. I understand these subjects much better than you do. I +have not nearly made up my mind, but it may be. Now we have talked this +over comfortably, and may go to bed. You best and dearest little mouse, +Good night!' With those words Fanny weighed her Anchor, and--having +taken so much advice--left off being advised for that occasion. + +Thenceforward, Amy observed Mr Sparkler's treatment by his enslaver, +with new reasons for attaching importance to all that passed between +them. There were times when Fanny appeared quite unable to endure his +mental feebleness, and when she became so sharply impatient of it that +she would all but dismiss him for good. There were other times when she +got on much better with him; when he amused her, and when her sense of +superiority seemed to counterbalance that opposite side of the scale. If +Mr Sparkler had been other than the faithfullest and most submissive of +swains, he was sufficiently hard pressed to have fled from the scene of +his trials, and have set at least the whole distance from Rome to London +between himself and his enchantress. But he had no greater will of his +own than a boat has when it is towed by a steam-ship; and he followed +his cruel mistress through rough and smooth, on equally strong +compulsion. + +Mrs Merdle, during these passages, said little to Fanny, but said +more about her. She was, as it were, forced to look at her through her +eye-glass, and in general conversation to allow commendations of her +beauty to be wrung from her by its irresistible demands. The defiant +character it assumed when Fanny heard these extollings (as it generally +happened that she did), was not expressive of concessions to the +impartial bosom; but the utmost revenge the bosom took was, to say +audibly, 'A spoilt beauty--but with that face and shape, who could +wonder?' + +It might have been about a month or six weeks after the night of the +new advice, when Little Dorrit began to think she detected some new +understanding between Mr Sparkler and Fanny. Mr Sparkler, as if in +attendance to some compact, scarcely ever spoke without first looking +towards Fanny for leave. That young lady was too discreet ever to look +back again; but, if Mr Sparkler had permission to speak, she remained +silent; if he had not, she herself spoke. Moreover, it became plain +whenever Henry Gowan attempted to perform the friendly office of drawing +him out, that he was not to be drawn. And not only that, but Fanny would +presently, without any pointed application in the world, chance to say +something with such a sting in it that Gowan would draw back as if he +had put his hand into a bee-hive. + +There was yet another circumstance which went a long way to confirm +Little Dorrit in her fears, though it was not a great circumstance +in itself. Mr Sparkler's demeanour towards herself changed. It became +fraternal. Sometimes, when she was in the outer circle of assemblies--at +their own residence, at Mrs Merdle's, or elsewhere--she would find +herself stealthily supported round the waist by Mr Sparkler's arm. Mr +Sparkler never offered the slightest explanation of this attention; +but merely smiled with an air of blundering, contented, good-natured +proprietorship, which, in so heavy a gentleman, was ominously +expressive. + +Little Dorrit was at home one day, thinking about Fanny with a heavy +heart. They had a room at one end of their drawing-room suite, nearly +all irregular bay-window, projecting over the street, and commanding +all the picturesque life and variety of the Corso, both up and down. At +three or four o'clock in the afternoon, English time, the view from this +window was very bright and peculiar; and Little Dorrit used to sit +and muse here, much as she had been used to while away the time in her +balcony at Venice. Seated thus one day, she was softly touched on the +shoulder, and Fanny said, 'Well, Amy dear,' and took her seat at her +side. Their seat was a part of the window; when there was anything in +the way of a procession going on, they used to have bright draperies +hung out of the window, and used to kneel or sit on this seat, and look +out at it, leaning on the brilliant colour. But there was no procession +that day, and Little Dorrit was rather surprised by Fanny's being at +home at that hour, as she was generally out on horseback then. + +'Well, Amy,' said Fanny, 'what are you thinking of, little one?' + +'I was thinking of you, Fanny.' + +'No? What a coincidence! I declare here's some one else. You were not +thinking of this some one else too; were you, Amy?' + +Amy _had_ been thinking of this some one else too; for it was Mr Sparkler. +She did not say so, however, as she gave him her hand. Mr Sparkler +came and sat down on the other side of her, and she felt the fraternal +railing come behind her, and apparently stretch on to include Fanny. + +'Well, my little sister,' said Fanny with a sigh, 'I suppose you know +what this means?' + +'She's as beautiful as she's doated on,' stammered Mr Sparkler--'and +there's no nonsense about her--it's arranged--' + +'You needn't explain, Edmund,' said Fanny. + +'No, my love,' said Mr Sparkler. + +'In short, pet,' proceeded Fanny, 'on the whole, we are engaged. We +must tell papa about it either to-night or to-morrow, according to the +opportunities. Then it's done, and very little more need be said.' + +'My dear Fanny,' said Mr Sparkler, with deference, 'I should like to say +a word to Amy.' + +'Well, well! Say it for goodness' sake,' returned the young lady. + +'I am convinced, my dear Amy,' said Mr Sparkler, 'that if ever there +was a girl, next to your highly endowed and beautiful sister, who had no +nonsense about her--' + +'We know all about that, Edmund,' interposed Miss Fanny. 'Never mind +that. Pray go on to something else besides our having no nonsense about +us.' + +'Yes, my love,' said Mr Sparkler. 'And I assure you, Amy, that nothing +can be a greater happiness to myself, myself--next to the happiness of +being so highly honoured with the choice of a glorious girl who hasn't +an atom of--' + +'Pray, Edmund, pray!' interrupted Fanny, with a slight pat of her pretty +foot upon the floor. + +'My love, you're quite right,' said Mr Sparkler, 'and I know I have a +habit of it. What I wished to declare was, that nothing can be a greater +happiness to myself, myself-next to the happiness of being united to +pre-eminently the most glorious of girls--than to have the happiness +of cultivating the affectionate acquaintance of Amy. I may not myself,' +said Mr Sparkler manfully, 'be up to the mark on some other subjects +at a short notice, and I am aware that if you were to poll Society the +general opinion would be that I am not; but on the subject of Amy I AM +up to the mark!' + +Mr Sparkler kissed her, in witness thereof. + +'A knife and fork and an apartment,' proceeded Mr Sparkler, growing, in +comparison with his oratorical antecedents, quite diffuse, 'will ever +be at Amy's disposal. My Governor, I am sure, will always be proud to +entertain one whom I so much esteem. And regarding my mother,' said Mr +Sparkler, 'who is a remarkably fine woman, with--' + +'Edmund, Edmund!' cried Miss Fanny, as before. + +'With submission, my soul,' pleaded Mr Sparkler. 'I know I have a habit +of it, and I thank you very much, my adorable girl, for taking the +trouble to correct it; but my mother is admitted on all sides to be a +remarkably fine woman, and she really hasn't any.' + +'That may be, or may not be,' returned Fanny, 'but pray don't mention it +any more.' + +'I will not, my love,' said Mr Sparkler. + +'Then, in fact, you have nothing more to say, Edmund; have you?' +inquired Fanny. + +'So far from it, my adorable girl,' answered Mr Sparkler, 'I apologise +for having said so much.' + +Mr Sparkler perceived, by a kind of inspiration, that the question +implied had he not better go? He therefore withdrew the fraternal +railing, and neatly said that he thought he would, with submission, take +his leave. He did not go without being congratulated by Amy, as well +as she could discharge that office in the flutter and distress of her +spirits. + +When he was gone, she said, 'O Fanny, Fanny!' and turned to her sister +in the bright window, and fell upon her bosom and cried there. Fanny +laughed at first; but soon laid her face against her sister's and cried +too--a little. It was the last time Fanny ever showed that there was any +hidden, suppressed, or conquered feeling in her on the matter. From that +hour the way she had chosen lay before her, and she trod it with her own +imperious self-willed step. + + + + +CHAPTER 15. No just Cause or Impediment why these Two Persons +should not be joined together + + +Mr Dorrit, on being informed by his elder daughter that she had accepted +matrimonial overtures from Mr Sparkler, to whom she had plighted her +troth, received the communication at once with great dignity and with a +large display of parental pride; his dignity dilating with the widened +prospect of advantageous ground from which to make acquaintances, and +his parental pride being developed by Miss Fanny's ready sympathy with +that great object of his existence. He gave her to understand that her +noble ambition found harmonious echoes in his heart; and bestowed +his blessing on her, as a child brimful of duty and good principle, +self-devoted to the aggrandisement of the family name. + +To Mr Sparkler, when Miss Fanny permitted him to appear, Mr Dorrit said, +he would not disguise that the alliance Mr Sparkler did him the honour +to propose was highly congenial to his feelings; both as being in unison +with the spontaneous affections of his daughter Fanny, and as opening +a family connection of a gratifying nature with Mr Merdle, the +master spirit of the age. Mrs Merdle also, as a leading lady rich in +distinction, elegance, grace, and beauty, he mentioned in very laudatory +terms. He felt it his duty to remark (he was sure a gentleman of Mr +Sparkler's fine sense would interpret him with all delicacy), that he +could not consider this proposal definitely determined on, until he +should have had the privilege of holding some correspondence with Mr +Merdle; and of ascertaining it to be so far accordant with the views +of that eminent gentleman as that his (Mr Dorrit's) daughter would be +received on that footing which her station in life and her dowry and +expectations warranted him in requiring that she should maintain in +what he trusted he might be allowed, without the appearance of being +mercenary, to call the Eye of the Great World. While saying this, which +his character as a gentleman of some little station, and his character +as a father, equally demanded of him, he would not be so diplomatic +as to conceal that the proposal remained in hopeful abeyance and +under conditional acceptance, and that he thanked Mr Sparkler for the +compliment rendered to himself and to his family. He concluded with +some further and more general observations on the--ha--character of an +independent gentleman, and the--hum--character of a possibly too +partial and admiring parent. To sum the whole up shortly, he received +Mr Sparkler's offer very much as he would have received three or four +half-crowns from him in the days that were gone. + +Mr Sparkler, finding himself stunned by the words thus heaped upon his +inoffensive head, made a brief though pertinent rejoinder; the same +being neither more nor less than that he had long perceived Miss Fanny +to have no nonsense about her, and that he had no doubt of its being all +right with his Governor. At that point the object of his affections shut +him up like a box with a spring lid, and sent him away. + +Proceeding shortly afterwards to pay his respects to the Bosom, Mr +Dorrit was received by it with great consideration. Mrs Merdle had heard +of this affair from Edmund. She had been surprised at first, because she +had not thought Edmund a marrying man. Society had not thought Edmund +a marrying man. Still, of course she had seen, as a woman (we women +did instinctively see these things, Mr Dorrit!), that Edmund had been +immensely captivated by Miss Dorrit, and she had openly said that Mr +Dorrit had much to answer for in bringing so charming a girl abroad to +turn the heads of his countrymen. + +'Have I the honour to conclude, madam,' said Mr Dorrit, 'that the +direction which Mr Sparkler's affections have taken, is--ha-approved of +by you?' + +'I assure you, Mr Dorrit,' returned the lady, 'that, personally, I am +charmed.' + +That was very gratifying to Mr Dorrit. + +'Personally,' repeated Mrs Merdle, 'charmed.' + +This casual repetition of the word 'personally,' moved Mr Dorrit to +express his hope that Mr Merdle's approval, too, would not be wanting? + +'I cannot,' said Mrs Merdle, 'take upon myself to answer positively for +Mr Merdle; gentlemen, especially gentlemen who are what Society calls +capitalists, having their own ideas of these matters. But I should +think--merely giving an opinion, Mr Dorrit--I should think Mr Merdle +would be upon the whole,' here she held a review of herself before +adding at her leisure, 'quite charmed.' + +At the mention of gentlemen whom Society called capitalists, Mr Dorrit +had coughed, as if some internal demur were breaking out of him. Mrs +Merdle had observed it, and went on to take up the cue. + +'Though, indeed, Mr Dorrit, it is scarcely necessary for me to make that +remark, except in the mere openness of saying what is uppermost to one +whom I so highly regard, and with whom I hope I may have the pleasure +of being brought into still more agreeable relations. For one cannot +but see the great probability of your considering such things from Mr +Merdle's own point of view, except indeed that circumstances have made +it Mr Merdle's accidental fortune, or misfortune, to be engaged in +business transactions, and that they, however vast, may a little cramp +his horizons. I am a very child as to having any notion of business,' +said Mrs Merdle; 'but I am afraid, Mr Dorrit, it may have that +tendency.' + +This skilful see-saw of Mr Dorrit and Mrs Merdle, so that each of them +sent the other up, and each of them sent the other down, and neither +had the advantage, acted as a sedative on Mr Dorrit's cough. He remarked +with his utmost politeness, that he must beg to protest against its +being supposed, even by Mrs Merdle, the accomplished and graceful +(to which compliment she bent herself), that such enterprises as Mr +Merdle's, apart as they were from the puny undertakings of the rest of +men, had any lower tendency than to enlarge and expand the genius in +which they were conceived. 'You are generosity itself,' said Mrs Merdle +in return, smiling her best smile; 'let us hope so. But I confess I am +almost superstitious in my ideas about business.' + +Mr Dorrit threw in another compliment here, to the effect that business, +like the time which was precious in it, was made for slaves; and that it +was not for Mrs Merdle, who ruled all hearts at her supreme pleasure, +to have anything to do with it. Mrs Merdle laughed, and conveyed to +Mr Dorrit an idea that the Bosom flushed--which was one of her best +effects. + +'I say so much,' she then explained, 'merely because Mr Merdle has +always taken the greatest interest in Edmund, and has always expressed +the strongest desire to advance his prospects. Edmund's public position, +I think you know. His private position rests solely with Mr Merdle. In +my foolish incapacity for business, I assure you I know no more.' + +Mr Dorrit again expressed, in his own way, the sentiment that business +was below the ken of enslavers and enchantresses. He then mentioned his +intention, as a gentleman and a parent, of writing to Mr Merdle. Mrs +Merdle concurred with all her heart--or with all her art, which was +exactly the same thing--and herself despatched a preparatory letter by +the next post to the eighth wonder of the world. + +In his epistolary communication, as in his dialogues and discourses on +the great question to which it related, Mr Dorrit surrounded the +subject with flourishes, as writing-masters embellish copy-books and +ciphering-books: where the titles of the elementary rules of +arithmetic diverge into swans, eagles, griffins, and other calligraphic +recreations, and where the capital letters go out of their minds and +bodies into ecstasies of pen and ink. Nevertheless, he did render the +purport of his letter sufficiently clear, to enable Mr Merdle to make a +decent pretence of having learnt it from that source. Mr Merdle replied +to it accordingly. Mr Dorrit replied to Mr Merdle; Mr Merdle replied to +Mr Dorrit; and it was soon announced that the corresponding powers had +come to a satisfactory understanding. + +Now, and not before, Miss Fanny burst upon the scene, completely arrayed +for her new part. Now and not before, she wholly absorbed Mr Sparkler in +her light, and shone for both, and twenty more. No longer feeling that +want of a defined place and character which had caused her so much +trouble, this fair ship began to steer steadily on a shaped course, and +to swim with a weight and balance that developed her sailing qualities. + +'The preliminaries being so satisfactorily arranged, I think I will now, +my dear,' said Mr Dorrit, 'announce--ha--formally, to Mrs General--' + +'Papa,' returned Fanny, taking him up short upon that name, 'I don't see +what Mrs General has got to do with it.' + +'My dear,' said Mr Dorrit, 'it will be an act of courtesy to--hum--a +lady, well bred and refined--' + +'Oh! I am sick of Mrs General's good breeding and refinement, papa,' +said Fanny. 'I am tired of Mrs General.' + +'Tired,' repeated Mr Dorrit in reproachful astonishment, 'of--ha--Mrs +General.' + +'Quite disgusted with her, papa,' said Fanny. 'I really don't see what +she has to do with my marriage. Let her keep to her own matrimonial +projects--if she has any.' + +'Fanny,' returned Mr Dorrit, with a grave and weighty slowness upon him, +contrasting strongly with his daughter's levity: 'I beg the favour of +your explaining--ha--what it is you mean.' + +'I mean, papa,' said Fanny, 'that if Mrs General should happen to have +any matrimonial projects of her own, I dare say they are quite enough to +occupy her spare time. And that if she has not, so much the better; but +still I don't wish to have the honour of making announcements to her.' + +'Permit me to ask you, Fanny,' said Mr Dorrit, 'why not?' + +'Because she can find my engagement out for herself, papa,' retorted +Fanny. 'She is watchful enough, I dare say. I think I have seen her +so. Let her find it out for herself. If she should not find it out for +herself, she will know it when I am married. And I hope you will not +consider me wanting in affection for you, papa, if I say it strikes me +that will be quite enough for Mrs General.' + +'Fanny,' returned Mr Dorrit, 'I am amazed, I am displeased by +this--hum--this capricious and unintelligible display of animosity +towards--ha--Mrs General.' + +'Do not, if you please, papa,' urged Fanny, 'call it animosity, because +I assure you I do not consider Mrs General worth my animosity.' + +At this, Mr Dorrit rose from his chair with a fixed look of severe +reproof, and remained standing in his dignity before his daughter. His +daughter, turning the bracelet on her arm, and now looking at him, and +now looking from him, said, 'Very well, papa. I am truly sorry if you +don't like it; but I can't help it. I am not a child, and I am not Amy, +and I must speak.' + +'Fanny,' gasped Mr Dorrit, after a majestic silence, 'if I request +you to remain here, while I formally announce to Mrs General, as +an exemplary lady, who is--hum--a trusted member of this family, +the--ha--the change that is contemplated among us; if I--ha--not only +request it, but--hum--insist upon it--' + +'Oh, papa,' Fanny broke in with pointed significance, 'if you make so +much of it as that, I have in duty nothing to do but comply. I hope I +may have my thoughts upon the subject, however, for I really cannot help +it under the circumstances.' So, Fanny sat down with a meekness which, +in the junction of extremes, became defiance; and her father, either not +deigning to answer, or not knowing what to answer, summoned Mr Tinkler +into his presence. + +'Mrs General.' + +Mr Tinkler, unused to receive such short orders in connection with the +fair varnisher, paused. Mr Dorrit, seeing the whole Marshalsea and all +its testimonials in the pause, instantly flew at him with, 'How dare +you, sir? What do you mean?' + +'I beg your pardon, sir,' pleaded Mr Tinkler, 'I was wishful to know--' + +'You wished to know nothing, sir,' cried Mr Dorrit, highly flushed. +'Don't tell me you did. Ha. You didn't. You are guilty of mockery, sir.' + +'I assure you, sir--' Mr Tinkler began. + +'Don't assure me!' said Mr Dorrit. 'I will not be assured by a +domestic. You are guilty of mockery. You shall leave me--hum--the whole +establishment shall leave me. What are you waiting for?' + +'Only for my orders, sir.' + +'It's false,' said Mr Dorrit, 'you have your orders. Ha--hum. My +compliments to Mrs General, and I beg the favour of her coming to me, if +quite convenient, for a few minutes. Those are your orders.' + +In his execution of this mission, Mr Tinkler perhaps expressed that Mr +Dorrit was in a raging fume. However that was, Mrs General's skirts were +very speedily heard outside, coming along--one might almost have said +bouncing along--with unusual expedition. Albeit, they settled down at +the door and swept into the room with their customary coolness. + +'Mrs General,' said Mr Dorrit, 'take a chair.' + +Mrs General, with a graceful curve of acknowledgment, descended into the +chair which Mr Dorrit offered. + +'Madam,' pursued that gentleman, 'as you have had the kindness to +undertake the--hum--formation of my daughters, and as I am persuaded +that nothing nearly affecting them can--ha--be indifferent to you--' + +'Wholly impossible,' said Mrs General in the calmest of ways. + +'--I therefore wish to announce to you, madam, that my daughter now +present--' + +Mrs General made a slight inclination of her head to Fanny, who made +a very low inclination of her head to Mrs General, and came loftily +upright again. + +'--That my daughter Fanny is--ha--contracted to be married to Mr +Sparkler, with whom you are acquainted. Hence, madam, you will be +relieved of half your difficult charge--ha--difficult charge.' Mr +Dorrit repeated it with his angry eye on Fanny. 'But not, I hope, to +the--hum--diminution of any other portion, direct or indirect, of the +footing you have at present the kindness to occupy in my family.' + +'Mr Dorrit,' returned Mrs General, with her gloved hands resting on +one another in exemplary repose, 'is ever considerate, and ever but too +appreciative of my friendly services.' + +(Miss Fanny coughed, as much as to say, 'You are right.') + +'Miss Dorrit has no doubt exercised the soundest discretion of which +the circumstances admitted, and I trust will allow me to offer her my +sincere congratulations. When free from the trammels of passion,' Mrs +General closed her eyes at the word, as if she could not utter it, and +see anybody; 'when occurring with the approbation of near relatives; +and when cementing the proud structure of a family edifice; these are +usually auspicious events. I trust Miss Dorrit will allow me to offer +her my best congratulations.' + +Here Mrs General stopped, and added internally, for the setting of her +face, 'Papa, potatoes, poultry, Prunes, and prism.' + +'Mr Dorrit,' she superadded aloud, 'is ever most obliging; and for +the attention, and I will add distinction, of having this confidence +imparted to me by himself and Miss Dorrit at this early time, I beg to +offer the tribute of my thanks. My thanks, and my congratulations, are +equally the meed of Mr Dorrit and of Miss Dorrit.' + +'To me,' observed Miss Fanny, 'they are excessively +gratifying--inexpressibly so. The relief of finding that you have no +objection to make, Mrs General, quite takes a load off my mind, I am +sure. I hardly know what I should have done,' said Fanny, 'if you had +interposed any objection, Mrs General.' + +Mrs General changed her gloves, as to the right glove being uppermost +and the left undermost, with a Prunes and Prism smile. + +'To preserve your approbation, Mrs General,' said Fanny, returning the +smile with one in which there was no trace of those ingredients, 'will +of course be the highest object of my married life; to lose it, would of +course be perfect wretchedness. I am sure your great kindness will +not object, and I hope papa will not object, to my correcting a +small mistake you have made, however. The best of us are so liable to +mistakes, that even you, Mrs General, have fallen into a little error. +The attention and distinction you have so impressively mentioned, Mrs +General, as attaching to this confidence, are, I have no doubt, of the +most complimentary and gratifying description; but they don't at all +proceed from me. The merit of having consulted you on the subject would +have been so great in me, that I feel I must not lay claim to it when it +really is not mine. It is wholly papa's. I am deeply obliged to you for +your encouragement and patronage, but it was papa who asked for it. +I have to thank you, Mrs General, for relieving my breast of a great +weight by so handsomely giving your consent to my engagement, but you +have really nothing to thank me for. I hope you will always approve of +my proceedings after I have left home and that my sister also may long +remain the favoured object of your condescension, Mrs General.' + +With this address, which was delivered in her politest manner, Fanny +left the room with an elegant and cheerful air--to tear up-stairs with +a flushed face as soon as she was out of hearing, pounce in upon her +sister, call her a little Dormouse, shake her for the better opening of +her eyes, tell her what had passed below, and ask her what she thought +of Pa now? + +Towards Mrs Merdle, the young lady comported herself with great +independence and self-possession; but not as yet with any more decided +opening of hostilities. Occasionally they had a slight skirmish, as when +Fanny considered herself patted on the back by that lady, or as when Mrs +Merdle looked particularly young and well; but Mrs Merdle always soon +terminated those passages of arms by sinking among her cushions with the +gracefullest indifference, and finding her attention otherwise engaged. +Society (for that mysterious creature sat upon the Seven Hills too) +found Miss Fanny vastly improved by her engagement. She was much more +accessible, much more free and engaging, much less exacting; insomuch +that she now entertained a host of followers and admirers, to the bitter +indignation of ladies with daughters to marry, who were to be regarded +as Having revolted from Society on the Miss Dorrit grievance, and +erected a rebellious standard. Enjoying the flutter she caused. Miss +Dorrit not only haughtily moved through it in her own proper person, but +haughtily, even Ostentatiously, led Mr Sparkler through it too: seeming +to say to them all, 'If I think proper to march among you in triumphal +procession attended by this weak captive in bonds, rather than a +stronger one, that is my business. Enough that I choose to do it!' Mr +Sparkler for his part, questioned nothing; but went wherever he was +taken, did whatever he was told, felt that for his bride-elect to be +distinguished was for him to be distinguished on the easiest terms, and +was truly grateful for being so openly acknowledged. + +The winter passing on towards the spring while this condition of affairs +prevailed, it became necessary for Mr Sparkler to repair to England, and +take his appointed part in the expression and direction of its genius, +learning, commerce, spirit, and sense. The land of Shakespeare, Milton, +Bacon, Newton, Watt, the land of a host of past and present abstract +philosophers, natural philosophers, and subduers of Nature and Art in +their myriad forms, called to Mr Sparkler to come and take care of it, +lest it should perish. Mr Sparkler, unable to resist the agonised cry +from the depths of his country's soul, declared that he must go. + +It followed that the question was rendered pressing when, where, and +how Mr Sparkler should be married to the foremost girl in all this world +with no nonsense about her. Its solution, after some little mystery and +secrecy, Miss Fanny herself announced to her sister. + +'Now, my child,' said she, seeking her out one day, 'I am going to tell +you something. It is only this moment broached; and naturally I hurry to +you the moment it _is_ broached.' + +'Your marriage, Fanny?' + +'My precious child,' said Fanny, 'don't anticipate me. Let me impart my +confidence to you, you flurried little thing, in my own way. As to your +guess, if I answered it literally, I should answer no. For really it is +not my marriage that is in question, half as much as it is Edmund's.' + +Little Dorrit looked, and perhaps not altogether without cause, somewhat +at a loss to understand this fine distinction. + +'I am in no difficulty,' exclaimed Fanny, 'and in no hurry. I am not +wanted at any public office, or to give any vote anywhere else. +But Edmund is. And Edmund is deeply dejected at the idea of going away +by himself, and, indeed, I don't like that he should be trusted by +himself. For, if it's possible--and it generally is--to do a foolish +thing, he is sure to do it.' + +As she concluded this impartial summary of the reliance that might be +safely placed upon her future husband, she took off, with an air of +business, the bonnet she wore, and dangled it by its strings upon the +ground. + +'It is far more Edmund's question, therefore, than mine. However, we +need say no more about that. That is self-evident on the face of it. +Well, my dearest Amy! The point arising, is he to go by himself, or is +he not to go by himself, this other point arises, are we to be married +here and shortly, or are we to be married at home months hence?' + +'I see I am going to lose you, Fanny.' + +'What a little thing you are,' cried Fanny, half tolerant and half +impatient, 'for anticipating one! Pray, my darling, hear me out. That +woman,' she spoke of Mrs Merdle, of course, 'remains here until after +Easter; so, in the case of my being married here and going to London +with Edmund, I should have the start of her. That is something. Further, +Amy. That woman being out of the way, I don't know that I greatly object +to Mr Merdle's proposal to Pa that Edmund and I should take up our abode +in that house--_you_ know--where you once went with a dancer, my dear, +until our own house can be chosen and fitted up. Further still, Amy. +Papa having always intended to go to town himself, in the spring,--you +see, if Edmund and I were married here, we might go off to Florence, +where papa might join us, and we might all three travel home together. +Mr Merdle has entreated Pa to stay with him in that same mansion I have +mentioned, and I suppose he will. But he is master of his own actions; +and upon that point (which is not at all material) I can't speak +positively.' + +The difference between papa's being master of his own actions and Mr +Sparkler's being nothing of the sort, was forcibly expressed by Fanny in +her manner of stating the case. Not that her sister noticed it; for she +was divided between regret at the coming separation, and a lingering +wish that she had been included in the plans for visiting England. + +'And these are the arrangements, Fanny dear?' + +'Arrangements!' repeated Fanny. 'Now, really, child, you are a little +trying. You know I particularly guarded myself against laying my words +open to any such construction. What I said was, that certain questions +present themselves; and these are the questions.' + +Little Dorrit's thoughtful eyes met hers, tenderly and quietly. + +'Now, my own sweet girl,' said Fanny, weighing her bonnet by the strings +with considerable impatience, 'it's no use staring. A little owl could +stare. I look to you for advice, Amy. What do you advise me to do?' + +'Do you think,' asked Little Dorrit, persuasively, after a short +hesitation, 'do you think, Fanny, that if you were to put it off for a +few months, it might be, considering all things, best?' + +'No, little Tortoise,' retorted Fanny, with exceeding sharpness. 'I +don't think anything of the kind.' + +Here, she threw her bonnet from her altogether, and flounced into a +chair. But, becoming affectionate almost immediately, she flounced out +of it again, and kneeled down on the floor to take her sister, chair and +all, in her arms. + +'Don't suppose I am hasty or unkind, darling, because I really am not. +But you are such a little oddity! You make one bite your head off, +when one wants to be soothing beyond everything. Didn't I tell you, you +dearest baby, that Edmund can't be trusted by himself? And don't you +know that he can't?' + +'Yes, yes, Fanny. You said so, I know.' + +'And you know it, I know,' retorted Fanny. 'Well, my precious child! If +he is not to be trusted by himself, it follows, I suppose, that I should +go with him?' + +'It--seems so, love,' said Little Dorrit. + +'Therefore, having heard the arrangements that are feasible to carry +out that object, am I to understand, dearest Amy, that on the whole you +advise me to make them?' + +'It--seems so, love,' said Little Dorrit again. + +'Very well,' cried Fanny with an air of resignation, 'then I suppose it +must be done! I came to you, my sweet, the moment I saw the doubt, and +the necessity of deciding. I have now decided. So let it be.' + +After yielding herself up, in this pattern manner, to sisterly advice +and the force of circumstances, Fanny became quite benignant: as one +who had laid her own inclinations at the feet of her dearest friend, and +felt a glow of conscience in having made the sacrifice. 'After all, my +Amy,' she said to her sister, 'you are the best of small creatures, and +full of good sense; and I don't know what I shall ever do without you!' + +With which words she folded her in a closer embrace, and a really fond +one. + +'Not that I contemplate doing without You, Amy, by any means, for I hope +we shall ever be next to inseparable. And now, my pet, I am going +to give you a word of advice. When you are left alone here with Mrs +General--' + +'I am to be left alone here with Mrs General?' said Little Dorrit, +quietly. + +'Why, of course, my precious, till papa comes back! Unless you call +Edward company, which he certainly is not, even when he is here, and +still more certainly is not when he is away at Naples or in Sicily. I +was going to say--but you are such a beloved little Marplot for putting +one out--when you are left alone here with Mrs General, Amy, don't you +let her slide into any sort of artful understanding with you that she is +looking after Pa, or that Pa is looking after her. She will if she can. +I know her sly manner of feeling her way with those gloves of hers. But +don't you comprehend her on any account. And if Pa should tell you when +he comes back, that he has it in contemplation to make Mrs General your +mama (which is not the less likely because I am going away), my advice +to you is, that you say at once, "Papa, I beg to object most strongly. +Fanny cautioned me about this, and she objected, and I object." I don't +mean to say that any objection from you, Amy, is likely to be of the +smallest effect, or that I think you likely to make it with any degree +of firmness. But there is a principle involved--a filial principle--and +I implore you not to submit to be mother-in-lawed by Mrs General, +without asserting it in making every one about you as uncomfortable as +possible. I don't expect you to stand by it--indeed, I know you won't, +Pa being concerned--but I wish to rouse you to a sense of duty. As to +any help from me, or as to any opposition that I can offer to such a +match, you shall not be left in the lurch, my love. Whatever weight +I may derive from my position as a married girl not wholly devoid of +attractions--used, as that position always shall be, to oppose that +woman--I will bring to bear, you May depend upon it, on the head and +false hair (for I am confident it's not all real, ugly as it is and +unlikely as it appears that any One in their Senses would go to the +expense of buying it) of Mrs General!' + +Little Dorrit received this counsel without venturing to oppose it but +without giving Fanny any reason to believe that she intended to act upon +it. Having now, as it were, formally wound up her single life and +arranged her worldly affairs, Fanny proceeded with characteristic ardour +to prepare for the serious change in her condition. + +The preparation consisted in the despatch of her maid to Paris under the +protection of the Courier, for the purchase of that outfit for a bride +on which it would be extremely low, in the present narrative, to bestow +an English name, but to which (on a vulgar principle it observes +of adhering to the language in which it professes to be written) it +declines to give a French one. The rich and beautiful wardrobe purchased +by these agents, in the course of a few weeks made its way through the +intervening country, bristling with custom-houses, garrisoned by an +immense army of shabby mendicants in uniform who incessantly repeated +the Beggar's Petition over it, as if every individual warrior among them +were the ancient Belisarius: and of whom there were so many Legions, +that unless the Courier had expended just one bushel and a half of +silver money relieving their distresses, they would have worn the +wardrobe out before it got to Rome, by turning it over and over. Through +all such dangers, however, it was triumphantly brought, inch by inch, +and arrived at its journey's end in fine condition. + +There it was exhibited to select companies of female viewers, in whose +gentle bosoms it awakened implacable feelings. Concurrently, active +preparations were made for the day on which some of its treasures were +to be publicly displayed. Cards of breakfast-invitation were sent out +to half the English in the city of Romulus; the other half made +arrangements to be under arms, as criticising volunteers, at various +outer points of the solemnity. The most high and illustrious English +Signor Edgardo Dorrit, came post through the deep mud and ruts (from +forming a surface under the improving Neapolitan nobility), to grace +the occasion. The best hotel and all its culinary myrmidons, were set to +work to prepare the feast. The drafts of Mr Dorrit almost constituted a +run on the Torlonia Bank. The British Consul hadn't had such a marriage +in the whole of his Consularity. + +The day came, and the She-Wolf in the Capitol might have snarled with +envy to see how the Island Savages contrived these things now-a-days. +The murderous-headed statues of the wicked Emperors of the Soldiery, +whom sculptors had not been able to flatter out of their villainous +hideousness, might have come off their pedestals to run away with the +Bride. The choked old fountain, where erst the gladiators washed, might +have leaped into life again to honour the ceremony. The Temple of +Vesta might have sprung up anew from its ruins, expressly to lend its +countenance to the occasion. Might have done; but did not. Like sentient +things--even like the lords and ladies of creation sometimes--might +have done much, but did nothing. The celebration went off with admirable +pomp; monks in black robes, white robes, and russet robes stopped to +look after the carriages; wandering peasants in fleeces of sheep, begged +and piped under the house-windows; the English volunteers defiled; the +day wore on to the hour of vespers; the festival wore away; the thousand +churches rang their bells without any reference to it; and St Peter +denied that he had anything to do with it. + +But by that time the Bride was near the end of the first day's journey +towards Florence. It was the peculiarity of the nuptials that they +were all Bride. Nobody noticed the Bridegroom. Nobody noticed the first +Bridesmaid. Few could have seen Little Dorrit (who held that post) for +the glare, even supposing many to have sought her. So, the Bride had +mounted into her handsome chariot, incidentally accompanied by the +Bridegroom; and after rolling for a few minutes smoothly over a fair +pavement, had begun to jolt through a Slough of Despond, and through a +long, long avenue of wrack and ruin. Other nuptial carriages are said to +have gone the same road, before and since. + +If Little Dorrit found herself left a little lonely and a little low +that night, nothing would have done so much against her feeling of +depression as the being able to sit at work by her father, as in the old +time, and help him to his supper and his rest. But that was not to be +thought of now, when they sat in the state-equipage with Mrs General on +the coach-box. And as to supper! If Mr Dorrit had wanted supper, there +was an Italian cook and there was a Swiss confectioner, who must +have put on caps as high as the Pope's Mitre, and have performed the +mysteries of Alchemists in a copper-saucepaned laboratory below, before +he could have got it. + +He was sententious and didactic that night. If he had been simply +loving, he would have done Little Dorrit more good; but she accepted him +as he was--when had she not accepted him as he was!--and made the most +and best of him. Mrs General at length retired. Her retirement for the +night was always her frostiest ceremony, as if she felt it necessary +that the human imagination should be chilled into stone to prevent +its following her. When she had gone through her rigid preliminaries, +amounting to a sort of genteel platoon-exercise, she withdrew. Little +Dorrit then put her arm round her father's neck, to bid him good night. + +'Amy, my dear,' said Mr Dorrit, taking her by the hand, 'this is the +close of a day, that has--ha--greatly impressed and gratified me.' + +'A little tired you, dear, too?' + +'No,' said Mr Dorrit, 'no: I am not sensible of fatigue when it arises +from an occasion so--hum--replete with gratification of the purest +kind.' + +Little Dorrit was glad to find him in such heart, and smiled from her +own heart. + +'My dear,' he continued, 'this is an occasion--ha--teeming with a good +example. With a good example, my favourite and attached child--hum--to +you.' + +Little Dorrit, fluttered by his words, did not know what to say, though +he stopped as if he expected her to say something. + +'Amy,' he resumed; 'your dear sister, our Fanny, has contracted +ha hum--a marriage, eminently calculated to extend the basis of +our--ha--connection, and to--hum--consolidate our social relations. My +love, I trust that the time is not far distant when some--ha--eligible +partner may be found for you.' + +'Oh no! Let me stay with you. I beg and pray that I may stay with you! I +want nothing but to stay and take care of you!' + +She said it like one in sudden alarm. + +'Nay, Amy, Amy,' said Mr Dorrit. 'This is weak and foolish, weak +and foolish. You have a--ha--responsibility imposed upon you by your +position. It is to develop that position, and be--hum--worthy of that +position. As to taking care of me; I can--ha--take care of myself. +Or,' he added after a moment, 'if I should need to be taken care of, +I--hum--can, with the--ha--blessing of Providence, be taken care of, +I--ha hum--I cannot, my dear child, think of engrossing, and--ha--as it +were, sacrificing you.' + +O what a time of day at which to begin that profession of self-denial; +at which to make it, with an air of taking credit for it; at which to +believe it, if such a thing could be! + +'Don't speak, Amy. I positively say I cannot do it. I--ha--must not do +it. My--hum--conscience would not allow it. I therefore, my love, take +the opportunity afforded by this gratifying and impressive occasion +of--ha--solemnly remarking, that it is now a cherished wish and purpose +of mine to see you--ha--eligibly (I repeat eligibly) married.' + +'Oh no, dear! Pray!' + +'Amy,' said Mr Dorrit, 'I am well persuaded that if the topic were +referred to any person of superior social knowledge, of superior +delicacy and sense--let us say, for instance, to--ha--Mrs General--that +there would not be two opinions as to the--hum--affectionate character +and propriety of my sentiments. But, as I know your loving and dutiful +nature from--hum--from experience, I am quite satisfied that it is +necessary to say no more. I have--hum--no husband to propose at +present, my dear: I have not even one in view. I merely wish that we +should--ha--understand each other. Hum. Good night, my dear and sole +remaining daughter. Good night. God bless you!' + +If the thought ever entered Little Dorrit's head that night, that he +could give her up lightly now in his prosperity, and when he had it in +his mind to replace her with a second wife, she drove it away. Faithful +to him still, as in the worst times through which she had borne him +single-handed, she drove the thought away; and entertained no harder +reflection, in her tearful unrest, than that he now saw everything +through their wealth, and through the care he always had upon him that +they should continue rich, and grow richer. + +They sat in their equipage of state, with Mrs General on the box, for +three weeks longer, and then he started for Florence to join Fanny. +Little Dorrit would have been glad to bear him company so far, only for +the sake of her own love, and then to have turned back alone, thinking +of dear England. But, though the Courier had gone on with the Bride, the +Valet was next in the line; and the succession would not have come to +her, as long as any one could be got for money. + +Mrs General took life easily--as easily, that is, as she could +take anything--when the Roman establishment remained in their sole +occupation; and Little Dorrit would often ride out in a hired carriage +that was left them, and alight alone and wander among the ruins of old +Rome. The ruins of the vast old Amphitheatre, of the old Temples, of the +old commemorative Arches, of the old trodden highways, of the old +tombs, besides being what they were, to her were ruins of the old +Marshalsea--ruins of her own old life--ruins of the faces and forms +that of old peopled it--ruins of its loves, hopes, cares, and joys. Two +ruined spheres of action and suffering were before the solitary girl +often sitting on some broken fragment; and in the lonely places, under +the blue sky, she saw them both together. + +Up, then, would come Mrs General; taking all the colour out of +everything, as Nature and Art had taken it out of herself; writing +Prunes and Prism, in Mr Eustace's text, wherever she could lay a hand; +looking everywhere for Mr Eustace and company, and seeing nothing else; +scratching up the driest little bones of antiquity, and bolting them +whole without any human visitings--like a Ghoule in gloves. + + + + +CHAPTER 16. Getting on + + +The newly married pair, on their arrival in Harley Street, Cavendish +Square, London, were received by the Chief Butler. That great man was +not interested in them, but on the whole endured them. People must +continue to be married and given in marriage, or Chief Butlers would not +be wanted. As nations are made to be taxed, so families are made to +be butlered. The Chief Butler, no doubt, reflected that the course of +nature required the wealthy population to be kept up, on his account. + +He therefore condescended to look at the carriage from the Hall-door +without frowning at it, and said, in a very handsome way, to one of +his men, 'Thomas, help with the luggage.' He even escorted the Bride +up-stairs into Mr Merdle's presence; but this must be considered as an +act of homage to the sex (of which he was an admirer, being notoriously +captivated by the charms of a certain Duchess), and not as a committal +of himself with the family. + +Mr Merdle was slinking about the hearthrug, waiting to welcome Mrs +Sparkler. His hand seemed to retreat up his sleeve as he advanced to +do so, and he gave her such a superfluity of coat-cuff that it was like +being received by the popular conception of Guy Fawkes. When he put his +lips to hers, besides, he took himself into custody by the wrists, and +backed himself among the ottomans and chairs and tables as if he were +his own Police officer, saying to himself, 'Now, none of that! Come! +I've got you, you know, and you go quietly along with me!' + +Mrs Sparkler, installed in the rooms of state--the innermost sanctuary +of down, silk, chintz, and fine linen--felt that so far her triumph was +good, and her way made, step by step. On the day before her marriage, +she had bestowed on Mrs Merdle's maid with an air of gracious +indifference, in Mrs Merdle's presence, a trifling little keepsake +(bracelet, bonnet, and two dresses, all new) about four times as +valuable as the present formerly made by Mrs Merdle to her. She was now +established in Mrs Merdle's own rooms, to which some extra touches had +been given to render them more worthy of her occupation. In her mind's +eye, as she lounged there, surrounded by every luxurious accessory that +wealth could obtain or invention devise, she saw the fair bosom that +beat in unison with the exultation of her thoughts, competing with the +bosom that had been famous so long, outshining it, and deposing it. +Happy? Fanny must have been happy. No more wishing one's self dead now. + +The Courier had not approved of Mr Dorrit's staying in the house of +a friend, and had preferred to take him to an hotel in Brook Street, +Grosvenor Square. Mr Merdle ordered his carriage to be ready early +in the morning that he might wait upon Mr Dorrit immediately after +breakfast. + +Bright the carriage looked, sleek the horses looked, gleaming the +harness looked, luscious and lasting the liveries looked. A rich, +responsible turn-out. An equipage for a Merdle. Early people looked +after it as it rattled along the streets, and said, with awe in their +breath, 'There he goes!' + +There he went, until Brook Street stopped him. Then, forth from its +magnificent case came the jewel; not lustrous in itself, but quite the +contrary. + +Commotion in the office of the hotel. Merdle! The landlord, though +a gentleman of a haughty spirit who had just driven a pair of +thorough-bred horses into town, turned out to show him up-stairs. +The clerks and servants cut him off by back-passages, and were found +accidentally hovering in doorways and angles, that they might look upon +him. Merdle! O ye sun, moon, and stars, the great man! The rich man, who +had in a manner revised the New Testament, and already entered into the +kingdom of Heaven. The man who could have any one he chose to dine with +him, and who had made the money! As he went up the stairs, people were +already posted on the lower stairs, that his shadow might fall upon them +when he came down. So were the sick brought out and laid in the track of +the Apostle--who had _not_ got into the good society, and had _not_ made +the money. + +Mr Dorrit, dressing-gowned and newspapered, was at his breakfast. The +Courier, with agitation in his voice, announced 'Miss Mairdale!' Mr +Dorrit's overwrought heart bounded as he leaped up. + +'Mr Merdle, this is--ha--indeed an honour. Permit me to express +the--hum--sense, the high sense, I entertain of this--ha hum--highly +gratifying act of attention. I am well aware, sir, of the many demands +upon your time, and its--ha--enormous value,' Mr Dorrit could not +say enormous roundly enough for his own satisfaction. 'That you +should--ha--at this early hour, bestow any of your priceless time upon +me, is--ha--a compliment that I acknowledge with the greatest esteem.' +Mr Dorrit positively trembled in addressing the great man. + +Mr Merdle uttered, in his subdued, inward, hesitating voice, a few +sounds that were to no purpose whatever; and finally said, 'I am glad to +see you, sir.' + +'You are very kind,' said Mr Dorrit. 'Truly kind.' By this time the +visitor was seated, and was passing his great hand over his exhausted +forehead. 'You are well, I hope, Mr Merdle?' + +'I am as well as I--yes, I am as well as I usually am,' said Mr Merdle. + +'Your occupations must be immense.' + +'Tolerably so. But--Oh dear no, there's not much the matter with _me_,' +said Mr Merdle, looking round the room. + +'A little dyspeptic?' Mr Dorrit hinted. + +'Very likely. But I--Oh, I am well enough,' said Mr Merdle. + +There were black traces on his lips where they met, as if a little train +of gunpowder had been fired there; and he looked like a man who, if his +natural temperament had been quicker, would have been very feverish that +morning. This, and his heavy way of passing his hand over his forehead, +had prompted Mr Dorrit's solicitous inquiries. + +'Mrs Merdle,' Mr Dorrit insinuatingly pursued, 'I left, as you will be +prepared to hear, the--ha--observed of all observers, the--hum--admired +of all admirers, the leading fascination and charm of Society in Rome. +She was looking wonderfully well when I quitted it.' + +'Mrs Merdle,' said Mr Merdle, 'is generally considered a very attractive +woman. And she is, no doubt. I am sensible of her being so.' + +'Who can be otherwise?' responded Mr Dorrit. + +Mr Merdle turned his tongue in his closed mouth--it seemed rather a +stiff and unmanageable tongue--moistened his lips, passed his hand over +his forehead again, and looked all round the room again, principally +under the chairs. + +'But,' he said, looking Mr Dorrit in the face for the first time, and +immediately afterwards dropping his eyes to the buttons of Mr Dorrit's +waistcoat; 'if we speak of attractions, your daughter ought to be the +subject of our conversation. She is extremely beautiful. Both in face +and figure, she is quite uncommon. When the young people arrived last +night, I was really surprised to see such charms.' + +Mr Dorrit's gratification was such that he said--ha--he could not +refrain from telling Mr Merdle verbally, as he had already done by +letter, what honour and happiness he felt in this union of their +families. And he offered his hand. Mr Merdle looked at the hand for a +little while, took it on his for a moment as if his were a yellow salver +or fish-slice, and then returned it to Mr Dorrit. + +'I thought I would drive round the first thing,' said Mr Merdle, 'to +offer my services, in case I can do anything for you; and to say that +I hope you will at least do me the honour of dining with me to-day, and +every day when you are not better engaged during your stay in town.' + +Mr Dorrit was enraptured by these attentions. + +'Do you stay long, sir?' + +'I have not at present the intention,' said Mr Dorrit, +'of--ha--exceeding a fortnight.' + +'That's a very short stay, after so long a journey,' returned Mr Merdle. + +'Hum. Yes,' said Mr Dorrit. 'But the truth is--ha--my dear Mr Merdle, +that I find a foreign life so well suited to my health and taste, that +I--hum--have but two objects in my present visit to London. First, +the--ha--the distinguished happiness and--ha--privilege which I now +enjoy and appreciate; secondly, the arrangement--hum--the laying out, +that is to say, in the best way, of--ha, hum--my money.' + +'Well, sir,' said Mr Merdle, after turning his tongue again, 'if I can +be of any use to you in that respect, you may command me.' + +Mr Dorrit's speech had had more hesitation in it than usual, as he +approached the ticklish topic, for he was not perfectly clear how so +exalted a potentate might take it. He had doubts whether reference to +any individual capital, or fortune, might not seem a wretchedly retail +affair to so wholesale a dealer. Greatly relieved by Mr Merdle's +affable offer of assistance, he caught at it directly, and heaped +acknowledgments upon him. + +'I scarcely--ha--dared,' said Mr Dorrit, 'I assure you, to hope for +so--hum--vast an advantage as your direct advice and assistance. Though +of course I should, under any circumstances, like the--ha, hum--rest of +the civilised world, have followed in Mr Merdle's train.' + +'You know we may almost say we are related, sir,' said Mr Merdle, +curiously interested in the pattern of the carpet, 'and, therefore, you +may consider me at your service.' + +'Ha. Very handsome, indeed!' cried Mr Dorrit. 'Ha. Most handsome!' + +'It would not,' said Mr Merdle, 'be at the present moment easy for +what I may call a mere outsider to come into any of the good things--of +course I speak of my own good things--' + +'Of course, of course!' cried Mr Dorrit, in a tone implying that there +were no other good things. + +'--Unless at a high price. At what we are accustomed to term a very long +figure.' + +Mr Dorrit laughed in the buoyancy of his spirit. Ha, ha, ha! Long +figure. Good. Ha. Very expressive to be sure! + +'However,' said Mr Merdle, 'I do generally retain in my own hands the +power of exercising some preference--people in general would be pleased +to call it favour--as a sort of compliment for my care and trouble.' + +'And public spirit and genius,' Mr Dorrit suggested. + +Mr Merdle, with a dry, swallowing action, seemed to dispose of those +qualities like a bolus; then added, 'As a sort of return for it. I will +see, if you please, how I can exert this limited power (for people are +jealous, and it is limited), to your advantage.' + +'You are very good,' replied Mr Dorrit. 'You are _very_ good.' + +'Of course,' said Mr Merdle, 'there must be the strictest integrity +and uprightness in these transactions; there must be the purest faith +between man and man; there must be unimpeached and unimpeachable +confidence; or business could not be carried on.' + +Mr Dorrit hailed these generous sentiments with fervour. + +'Therefore,' said Mr Merdle, 'I can only give you a preference to a +certain extent.' + +'I perceive. To a defined extent,' observed Mr Dorrit. + +'Defined extent. And perfectly above-board. As to my advice, however,' +said Mr Merdle, 'that is another matter. That, such as it is--' + +Oh! Such as it was! (Mr Dorrit could not bear the faintest appearance of +its being depreciated, even by Mr Merdle himself.) + +'--That, there is nothing in the bonds of spotless honour between myself +and my fellow-man to prevent my parting with, if I choose. And that,' +said Mr Merdle, now deeply intent upon a dust-cart that was passing the +windows, 'shall be at your command whenever you think proper.' + +New acknowledgments from Mr Dorrit. New passages of Mr Merdle's hand +over his forehead. Calm and silence. Contemplation of Mr Dorrit's +waistcoat buttons by Mr Merdle. + +'My time being rather precious,' said Mr Merdle, suddenly getting up, +as if he had been waiting in the interval for his legs and they had just +come, 'I must be moving towards the City. Can I take you anywhere, sir? +I shall be happy to set you down, or send you on. My carriage is at your +disposal.' + +Mr Dorrit bethought himself that he had business at his banker's. His +banker's was in the City. That was fortunate; Mr Merdle would take +him into the City. But, surely, he might not detain Mr Merdle while he +assumed his coat? Yes, he might and must; Mr Merdle insisted on it. So +Mr Dorrit, retiring into the next room, put himself under the hands of +his valet, and in five minutes came back glorious. + +Then said Mr Merdle, 'Allow me, sir. Take my arm!' Then leaning on +Mr Merdle's arm, did Mr Dorrit descend the staircase, seeing the +worshippers on the steps, and feeling that the light of Mr Merdle shone +by reflection in himself. Then the carriage, and the ride into the +City; and the people who looked at them; and the hats that flew off grey +heads; and the general bowing and crouching before this wonderful mortal +the like of which prostration of spirit was not to be seen--no, by +high Heaven, no! It may be worth thinking of by Fawners of all +denominations--in Westminster Abbey and Saint Paul's Cathedral put +together, on any Sunday in the year. It was a rapturous dream to Mr +Dorrit to find himself set aloft in this public car of triumph, making a +magnificent progress to that befitting destination, the golden Street of +the Lombards. + +There Mr Merdle insisted on alighting and going his way a-foot, and +leaving his poor equipage at Mr Dorrit's disposition. So the dream +increased in rapture when Mr Dorrit came out of the bank alone, and +people looked at _him_ in default of Mr Merdle, and when, with the ears of +his mind, he heard the frequent exclamation as he rolled glibly along, +'A wonderful man to be Mr Merdle's friend!' + +At dinner that day, although the occasion was not foreseen and provided +for, a brilliant company of such as are not made of the dust of the +earth, but of some superior article for the present unknown, shed +their lustrous benediction upon Mr Dorrit's daughter's marriage. And Mr +Dorrit's daughter that day began, in earnest, her competition with that +woman not present; and began it so well that Mr Dorrit could all but +have taken his affidavit, if required, that Mrs Sparkler had all her +life been lying at full length in the lap of luxury, and had never heard +of such a rough word in the English tongue as Marshalsea. + +Next day, and the day after, and every day, all graced by more dinner +company, cards descended on Mr Dorrit like theatrical snow. As the +friend and relative by marriage of the illustrious Merdle, Bar, Bishop, +Treasury, Chorus, Everybody, wanted to make or improve Mr Dorrit's +acquaintance. In Mr Merdle's heap of offices in the City, when Mr Dorrit +appeared at any of them on his business taking him Eastward (which it +frequently did, for it throve amazingly), the name of Dorrit was always +a passport to the great presence of Merdle. So the dream increased in +rapture every hour, as Mr Dorrit felt increasingly sensible that this +connection had brought him forward indeed. + +Only one thing sat otherwise than auriferously, and at the same time +lightly, on Mr Dorrit's mind. It was the Chief Butler. That stupendous +character looked at him, in the course of his official looking at the +dinners, in a manner that Mr Dorrit considered questionable. He looked +at him, as he passed through the hall and up the staircase, going to +dinner, with a glazed fixedness that Mr Dorrit did not like. Seated +at table in the act of drinking, Mr Dorrit still saw him through his +wine-glass, regarding him with a cold and ghostly eye. It misgave him +that the Chief Butler must have known a Collegian, and must have seen +him in the College--perhaps had been presented to him. He looked as +closely at the Chief Butler as such a man could be looked at, and yet +he did not recall that he had ever seen him elsewhere. Ultimately he was +inclined to think that there was no reverence in the man, no sentiment +in the great creature. But he was not relieved by that; for, let him +think what he would, the Chief Butler had him in his supercilious eye, +even when that eye was on the plate and other table-garniture; and he +never let him out of it. To hint to him that this confinement in his eye +was disagreeable, or to ask him what he meant, was an act too daring to +venture upon; his severity with his employers and their visitors being +terrific, and he never permitting himself to be approached with the +slightest liberty. + + + + +CHAPTER 17. Missing + + +The term of Mr Dorrit's visit was within two days of being out, and he +was about to dress for another inspection by the Chief Butler (whose +victims were always dressed expressly for him), when one of the servants +of the hotel presented himself bearing a card. Mr Dorrit, taking it, +read: + +'Mrs Finching.' + +The servant waited in speechless deference. + +'Man, man,' said Mr Dorrit, turning upon him with grievous indignation, +'explain your motive in bringing me this ridiculous name. I am wholly +unacquainted with it. Finching, sir?' said Mr Dorrit, perhaps avenging +himself on the Chief Butler by Substitute. 'Ha! What do you mean by +Finching?' + +The man, man, seemed to mean Flinching as much as anything else, for +he backed away from Mr Dorrit's severe regard, as he replied, 'A lady, +sir.' + +'I know no such lady, sir,' said Mr Dorrit. 'Take this card away. I know +no Finching of either sex.' + +'Ask your pardon, sir. The lady said she was aware she might be unknown +by name. But she begged me to say, sir, that she had formerly the honour +of being acquainted with Miss Dorrit. The lady said, sir, the youngest +Miss Dorrit.' + +Mr Dorrit knitted his brows and rejoined, after a moment or two, 'Inform +Mrs Finching, sir,' emphasising the name as if the innocent man were +solely responsible for it, 'that she can come up.' + +He had reflected, in his momentary pause, that unless she were admitted +she might leave some message, or might say something below, having +a disgraceful reference to that former state of existence. Hence the +concession, and hence the appearance of Flora, piloted in by the man, +man. + +'I have not the pleasure,' said Mr Dorrit, standing with the card in his +hand, and with an air which imported that it would scarcely have been a +first-class pleasure if he had had it, 'of knowing either this name, or +yourself, madam. Place a chair, sir.' + +The responsible man, with a start, obeyed, and went out on tiptoe. +Flora, putting aside her veil with a bashful tremor upon her, proceeded +to introduce herself. At the same time a singular combination of +perfumes was diffused through the room, as if some brandy had been put +by mistake in a lavender-water bottle, or as if some lavender-water had +been put by mistake in a brandy-bottle. + +'I beg Mr Dorrit to offer a thousand apologies and indeed they would +be far too few for such an intrusion which I know must appear extremely +bold in a lady and alone too, but I thought it best upon the whole +however difficult and even apparently improper though Mr F.'s Aunt would +have willingly accompanied me and as a character of great force and +spirit would probably have struck one possessed of such a knowledge of +life as no doubt with so many changes must have been acquired, for Mr F. +himself said frequently that although well educated in the neighbourhood +of Blackheath at as high as eighty guineas which is a good deal for +parents and the plate kept back too on going away but that is more a +meanness than its value that he had learnt more in his first years as a +commercial traveller with a large commission on the sale of an article +that nobody would hear of much less buy which preceded the wine trade +a long time than in the whole six years in that academy conducted by a +college Bachelor, though why a Bachelor more clever than a married man I +do not see and never did but pray excuse me that is not the point.' + +Mr Dorrit stood rooted to the carpet, a statue of mystification. + +'I must openly admit that I have no pretensions,' said Flora, 'but +having known the dear little thing which under altered circumstances +appears a liberty but is not so intended and Goodness knows there was no +favour in half-a-crown a-day to such a needle as herself but quite the +other way and as to anything lowering in it far from it the labourer is +worthy of his hire and I am sure I only wish he got it oftener and more +animal food and less rheumatism in the back and legs poor soul.' + +'Madam,' said Mr Dorrit, recovering his breath by a great effort, as the +relict of the late Mr Finching stopped to take hers; 'madam,' said Mr +Dorrit, very red in the face, 'if I understand you to refer to--ha--to +anything in the antecedents of--hum--a daughter of mine, involving--ha +hum--daily compensation, madam, I beg to observe that the--ha--fact, +assuming it--ha--to be fact, never was within my knowledge. Hum. I +should not have permitted it. Ha. Never! Never!' + +'Unnecessary to pursue the subject,' returned Flora, 'and would not have +mentioned it on any account except as supposing it a favourable and only +letter of introduction but as to being fact no doubt whatever and you +may set your mind at rest for the very dress I have on now can prove it +and sweetly made though there is no denying that it would tell better on +a better figure for my own is much too fat though how to bring it down I +know not, pray excuse me I am roving off again.' + +Mr Dorrit backed to his chair in a stony way, and seated himself, as +Flora gave him a softening look and played with her parasol. + +'The dear little thing,' said Flora, 'having gone off perfectly limp +and white and cold in my own house or at least papa's for though not +a freehold still a long lease at a peppercorn on the morning when +Arthur--foolish habit of our youthful days and Mr Clennam far more +adapted to existing circumstances particularly addressing a stranger and +that stranger a gentleman in an elevated station--communicated the glad +tidings imparted by a person of name of Pancks emboldens me.' + +At the mention of these two names, Mr Dorrit frowned, stared, frowned +again, hesitated with his fingers at his lips, as he had hesitated long +ago, and said, 'Do me the favour to--ha--state your pleasure, madam.' + +'Mr Dorrit,' said Flora, 'you are very kind in giving me permission and +highly natural it seems to me that you should be kind for though more +stately I perceive a likeness filled out of course but a likeness still, +the object of my intruding is my own without the slightest consultation +with any human being and most decidedly not with Arthur--pray excuse me +Doyce and Clennam I don't know what I am saying Mr Clennam solus--for to +put that individual linked by a golden chain to a purple time when all +was ethereal out of any anxiety would be worth to me the ransom of a +monarch not that I have the least idea how much that would come to but +using it as the total of all I have in the world and more.' + +Mr Dorrit, without greatly regarding the earnestness of these latter +words, repeated, 'State your pleasure, madam.' + +'It's not likely I well know,' said Flora, 'but it's possible and being +possible when I had the gratification of reading in the papers that you +had arrived from Italy and were going back I made up my mind to try it +for you might come across him or hear something of him and if so what a +blessing and relief to all!' + +'Allow me to ask, madam,' said Mr Dorrit, with his ideas in wild +confusion, 'to whom--ha--TO WHOM,' he repeated it with a raised voice in +mere desperation, 'you at present allude?' + +'To the foreigner from Italy who disappeared in the City as no doubt you +have read in the papers equally with myself,' said Flora, 'not referring +to private sources by the name of Pancks from which one gathers what +dreadfully ill-natured things some people are wicked enough to whisper +most likely judging others by themselves and what the uneasiness +and indignation of Arthur--quite unable to overcome it Doyce and +Clennam--cannot fail to be.' + +It happened, fortunately for the elucidation of any intelligible result, +that Mr Dorrit had heard or read nothing about the matter. This +caused Mrs Finching, with many apologies for being in great practical +difficulties as to finding the way to her pocket among the stripes of +her dress at length to produce a police handbill, setting forth that +a foreign gentleman of the name of Blandois, last from Venice, had +unaccountably disappeared on such a night in such a part of the city of +London; that he was known to have entered such a house, at such an hour; +that he was stated by the inmates of that house to have left it, about +so many minutes before midnight; and that he had never been beheld +since. This, with exact particulars of time and locality, and with +a good detailed description of the foreign gentleman who had so +mysteriously vanished, Mr Dorrit read at large. + +'Blandois!' said Mr Dorrit. 'Venice! And this description! I know this +gentleman. He has been in my house. He is intimately acquainted with a +gentleman of good family (but in indifferent circumstances), of whom I +am a--hum--patron.' + +'Then my humble and pressing entreaty is the more,' said Flora, 'that +in travelling back you will have the kindness to look for this foreign +gentleman along all the roads and up and down all the turnings and to +make inquiries for him at all the hotels and orange-trees and vineyards +and volcanoes and places for he must be somewhere and why doesn't he +come forward and say he's there and clear all parties up?' + +'Pray, madam,' said Mr Dorrit, referring to the handbill again, 'who is +Clennam and Co.? Ha. I see the name mentioned here, in connection with +the occupation of the house which Monsieur Blandois was seen to +enter: who is Clennam and Co.? Is it the individual of whom I had +formerly--hum--some--ha--slight transitory knowledge, and to whom I +believe you have referred? Is it--ha--that person?' + +'It's a very different person indeed,' replied Flora, 'with no limbs and +wheels instead and the grimmest of women though his mother.' + +'Clennam and Co. a--hum--a mother!' exclaimed Mr Dorrit. + +'And an old man besides,' said Flora. + +Mr Dorrit looked as if he must immediately be driven out of his mind +by this account. Neither was it rendered more favourable to sanity by +Flora's dashing into a rapid analysis of Mr Flintwinch's cravat, and +describing him, without the lightest boundary line of separation between +his identity and Mrs Clennam's, as a rusty screw in gaiters. Which +compound of man and woman, no limbs, wheels, rusty screw, grimness, and +gaiters, so completely stupefied Mr Dorrit, that he was a spectacle to +be pitied. + +'But I would not detain you one moment longer,' said Flora, upon whom +his condition wrought its effect, though she was quite unconscious of +having produced it, 'if you would have the goodness to give your promise +as a gentleman that both in going back to Italy and in Italy too you +would look for this Mr Blandois high and low and if you found or heard +of him make him come forward for the clearing of all parties.' + +By that time Mr Dorrit had so far recovered from his bewilderment, as to +be able to say, in a tolerably connected manner, that he should consider +that his duty. Flora was delighted with her success, and rose to take +her leave. + +'With a million thanks,' said she, 'and my address upon my card in case +of anything to be communicated personally, I will not send my love to +the dear little thing for it might not be acceptable, and indeed there +is no dear little thing left in the transformation so why do it but +both myself and Mr F.'s Aunt ever wish her well and lay no claim to any +favour on our side you may be sure of that but quite the other way for +what she undertook to do she did and that is more than a great many of +us do, not to say anything of her doing it as well as it could be +done and I myself am one of them for I have said ever since I began to +recover the blow of Mr F's death that I would learn the Organ of which +I am extremely fond but of which I am ashamed to say I do not yet know a +note, good evening!' + +When Mr Dorrit, who attended her to the room-door, had had a little time +to collect his senses, he found that the interview had summoned back +discarded reminiscences which jarred with the Merdle dinner-table. +He wrote and sent off a brief note excusing himself for that day, and +ordered dinner presently in his own rooms at the hotel. He had another +reason for this. His time in London was very nearly out, and was +anticipated by engagements; his plans were made for returning; and he +thought it behoved his importance to pursue some direct inquiry into the +Blandois disappearance, and be in a condition to carry back to Mr +Henry Gowan the result of his own personal investigation. He therefore +resolved that he would take advantage of that evening's freedom to go +down to Clennam and Co.'s, easily to be found by the direction set forth +in the handbill; and see the place, and ask a question or two there +himself. + +Having dined as plainly as the establishment and the Courier would let +him, and having taken a short sleep by the fire for his better recovery +from Mrs Finching, he set out in a hackney-cabriolet alone. The deep +bell of St Paul's was striking nine as he passed under the shadow of +Temple Bar, headless and forlorn in these degenerate days. + +As he approached his destination through the by-streets and water-side +ways, that part of London seemed to him an uglier spot at such an hour +than he had ever supposed it to be. Many long years had passed since he +had seen it; he had never known much of it; and it wore a mysterious and +dismal aspect in his eyes. So powerfully was his imagination impressed +by it, that when his driver stopped, after having asked the way more +than once, and said to the best of his belief this was the gateway they +wanted, Mr Dorrit stood hesitating, with the coach-door in his hand, +half afraid of the dark look of the place. + +Truly, it looked as gloomy that night as even it had ever looked. Two of +the handbills were posted on the entrance wall, one on either side, and +as the lamp flickered in the night air, shadows passed over them, not +unlike the shadows of fingers following the lines. A watch was evidently +kept upon the place. As Mr Dorrit paused, a man passed in from over the +way, and another man passed out from some dark corner within; and both +looked at him in passing, and both remained standing about. + +As there was only one house in the enclosure, there was no room for +uncertainty, so he went up the steps of that house and knocked. There +was a dim light in two windows on the first-floor. The door gave back +a dreary, vacant sound, as though the house were empty; but it was not, +for a light was visible, and a step was audible, almost directly. They +both came to the door, and a chain grated, and a woman with her apron +thrown over her face and head stood in the aperture. + +'Who is it?' said the woman. + +Mr Dorrit, much amazed by this appearance, replied that he was from +Italy, and that he wished to ask a question relative to the missing +person, whom he knew. + +'Hi!' cried the woman, raising a cracked voice. 'Jeremiah!' + +Upon this, a dry old man appeared, whom Mr Dorrit thought he identified +by his gaiters, as the rusty screw. The woman was under apprehensions +of the dry old man, for she whisked her apron away as he approached, and +disclosed a pale affrighted face. 'Open the door, you fool,' said the +old man; 'and let the gentleman in.' + +Mr Dorrit, not without a glance over his shoulder towards his driver and +the cabriolet, walked into the dim hall. 'Now, sir,' said Mr Flintwinch, +'you can ask anything here you think proper; there are no secrets here, +sir.' + +Before a reply could be made, a strong stern voice, though a woman's, +called from above, 'Who is it?' + +'Who is it?' returned Jeremiah. 'More inquiries. A gentleman from +Italy.' + +'Bring him up here!' + +Mr Flintwinch muttered, as if he deemed that unnecessary; but, turning +to Mr Dorrit, said, 'Mrs Clennam. She _will_ do as she likes. I'll show +you the way.' He then preceded Mr Dorrit up the blackened staircase; +that gentleman, not unnaturally looking behind him on the road, saw the +woman following, with her apron thrown over her head again in her former +ghastly manner. + +Mrs Clennam had her books open on her little table. 'Oh!' said she +abruptly, as she eyed her visitor with a steady look. 'You are from +Italy, sir, are you. Well?' + +Mr Dorrit was at a loss for any more distinct rejoinder at the moment +than 'Ha--well?' + +'Where is this missing man? Have you come to give us information where +he is? I hope you have?' + +'So far from it, I--hum--have come to seek information.' + +'Unfortunately for us, there is none to be got here. Flintwinch, show +the gentleman the handbill. Give him several to take away. Hold the +light for him to read it.' + +Mr Flintwinch did as he was directed, and Mr Dorrit read it through, +as if he had not previously seen it; glad enough of the opportunity of +collecting his presence of mind, which the air of the house and of the +people in it had a little disturbed. While his eyes were on the paper, +he felt that the eyes of Mr Flintwinch and of Mrs Clennam were on him. +He found, when he looked up, that this sensation was not a fanciful one. + +'Now you know as much,' said Mrs Clennam, 'as we know, sir. Is Mr +Blandois a friend of yours?' + +'No--a--hum--an acquaintance,' answered Mr Dorrit. + +'You have no commission from him, perhaps?' + +'I? Ha. Certainly not.' + +The searching look turned gradually to the floor, after taking Mr +Flintwinch's face in its way. Mr Dorrit, discomfited by finding that +he was the questioned instead of the questioner, applied himself to the +reversal of that unexpected order of things. + +'I am--ha--a gentleman of property, at present residing in Italy with my +family, my servants, and--hum--my rather large establishment. Being in +London for a short time on affairs connected with--ha--my estate, +and hearing of this strange disappearance, I wished to make myself +acquainted with the circumstances at first-hand, because there is--ha +hum--an English gentleman in Italy whom I shall no doubt see on my +return, who has been in habits of close and daily intimacy with Monsieur +Blandois. Mr Henry Gowan. You may know the name.' + +'Never heard of it.' + +Mrs Clennam said it, and Mr Flintwinch echoed it. + +'Wishing to--ha--make the narrative coherent and consecutive to him,' +said Mr Dorrit, 'may I ask--say, three questions?' + +'Thirty, if you choose.' + +'Have you known Monsieur Blandois long?' + +'Not a twelvemonth. Mr Flintwinch here, will refer to the books and tell +you when, and by whom at Paris he was introduced to us. If that,' +Mrs Clennam added, 'should be any satisfaction to you. It is poor +satisfaction to us.' + +'Have you seen him often?' + +'No. Twice. Once before, and--' + +'That once,' suggested Mr Flintwinch. + +'And that once.' + +'Pray, madam,' said Mr Dorrit, with a growing fancy upon him as he +recovered his importance, that he was in some superior way in the +Commission of the Peace; 'pray, madam, may I inquire, for the greater +satisfaction of the gentleman whom I have the honour to--ha--retain, or +protect or let me say to--hum--know--to know--Was Monsieur Blandois here +on business on the night indicated in this present sheet?' + +'On what he called business,' returned Mrs Clennam. + +'Is--ha--excuse me--is its nature to be communicated?' + +'No.' + +It was evidently impracticable to pass the barrier of that reply. + +'The question has been asked before,' said Mrs Clennam, 'and the answer +has been, No. We don't choose to publish our transactions, however +unimportant, to all the town. We say, No.' + +'I mean, he took away no money with him, for example,' said Mr Dorrit. + +'He took away none of ours, sir, and got none here.' + +'I suppose,' observed Mr Dorrit, glancing from Mrs Clennam to Mr +Flintwinch, and from Mr Flintwinch to Mrs Clennam, 'you have no way of +accounting to yourself for this mystery?' + +'Why do you suppose so?' rejoined Mrs Clennam. + +Disconcerted by the cold and hard inquiry, Mr Dorrit was unable to +assign any reason for his supposing so. + +'I account for it, sir,' she pursued after an awkward silence on Mr +Dorrit's part, 'by having no doubt that he is travelling somewhere, or +hiding somewhere.' + +'Do you know--ha--why he should hide anywhere?' + +'No.' + +It was exactly the same No as before, and put another barrier up. + +'You asked me if I accounted for the disappearance to myself,' Mrs +Clennam sternly reminded him, 'not if I accounted for it to you. I do +not pretend to account for it to you, sir. I understand it to be no more +my business to do that, than it is yours to require that.' + +Mr Dorrit answered with an apologetic bend of his head. As he stepped +back, preparatory to saying he had no more to ask, he could not but +observe how gloomily and fixedly she sat with her eyes fastened on +the ground, and a certain air upon her of resolute waiting; also, +how exactly the self-same expression was reflected in Mr Flintwinch, +standing at a little distance from her chair, with his eyes also on the +ground, and his right hand softly rubbing his chin. + +At that moment, Mistress Affery (of course, the woman with the apron) +dropped the candlestick she held, and cried out, 'There! O good Lord! +there it is again. Hark, Jeremiah! Now!' + +If there were any sound at all, it was so slight that she must have +fallen into a confirmed habit of listening for sounds; but Mr Dorrit +believed he did hear a something, like the falling of dry leaves. The +woman's terror, for a very short space, seemed to touch the three; and +they all listened. + +Mr Flintwinch was the first to stir. 'Affery, my woman,' said he, +sidling at her with his fists clenched, and his elbows quivering with +impatience to shake her, 'you are at your old tricks. You'll be walking +in your sleep next, my woman, and playing the whole round of your +distempered antics. You must have some physic. When I have shown this +gentleman out, I'll make you up such a comfortable dose, my woman; such +a comfortable dose!' + +It did not appear altogether comfortable in expectation to Mistress +Affery; but Jeremiah, without further reference to his healing medicine, +took another candle from Mrs Clennam's table, and said, 'Now, sir; shall +I light you down?' + +Mr Dorrit professed himself obliged, and went down. Mr Flintwinch shut +him out, and chained him out, without a moment's loss of time. +He was again passed by the two men, one going out and the other coming +in; got into the vehicle he had left waiting, and was driven away. + +Before he had gone far, the driver stopped to let him know that he +had given his name, number, and address to the two men, on their joint +requisition; and also the address at which he had taken Mr Dorrit up, +the hour at which he had been called from his stand and the way by which +he had come. This did not make the night's adventure run any less hotly +in Mr Dorrit's mind, either when he sat down by his fire again, or +when he went to bed. All night he haunted the dismal house, saw the two +people resolutely waiting, heard the woman with her apron over her face +cry out about the noise, and found the body of the missing Blandois, now +buried in the cellar, and now bricked up in a wall. + + + + +CHAPTER 18. A Castle in the Air + + +Manifold are the cares of wealth and state. Mr Dorrit's satisfaction in +remembering that it had not been necessary for him to announce himself +to Clennam and Co., or to make an allusion to his having had any +knowledge of the intrusive person of that name, had been damped +over-night, while it was still fresh, by a debate that arose within him +whether or no he should take the Marshalsea in his way back, and look +at the old gate. He had decided not to do so; and had astonished the +coachman by being very fierce with him for proposing to go over London +Bridge and recross the river by Waterloo Bridge--a course which would +have taken him almost within sight of his old quarters. Still, for all +that, the question had raised a conflict in his breast; and, for some +odd reason or no reason, he was vaguely dissatisfied. Even at the Merdle +dinner-table next day, he was so out of sorts about it that he +continued at intervals to turn it over and over, in a manner frightfully +inconsistent with the good society surrounding him. It made him hot to +think what the Chief Butler's opinion of him would have been, if that +illustrious personage could have plumbed with that heavy eye of his the +stream of his meditations. + +The farewell banquet was of a gorgeous nature, and wound up his visit +in a most brilliant manner. Fanny combined with the attractions of her +youth and beauty, a certain weight of self-sustainment as if she had +been married twenty years. He felt that he could leave her with a +quiet mind to tread the paths of distinction, and wished--but without +abatement of patronage, and without prejudice to the retiring virtues of +his favourite child--that he had such another daughter. + +'My dear,' he told her at parting, 'our family looks to you +to--ha--assert its dignity and--hum--maintain its importance. I know you +will never disappoint it.' + +'No, papa,' said Fanny, 'you may rely upon that, I think. My best love +to dearest Amy, and I will write to her very soon.' + +'Shall I convey any message to--ha--anybody else?' asked Mr Dorrit, in +an insinuating manner. + +'Papa,' said Fanny, before whom Mrs General instantly loomed, 'no, I +thank you. You are very kind, Pa, but I must beg to be excused. There +is no other message to send, I thank you, dear papa, that it would be at +all agreeable to you to take.' + +They parted in an outer drawing-room, where only Mr Sparkler waited +on his lady, and dutifully bided his time for shaking hands. When Mr +Sparkler was admitted to this closing audience, Mr Merdle came creeping +in with not much more appearance of arms in his sleeves than if he +had been the twin brother of Miss Biffin, and insisted on escorting +Mr Dorrit down-stairs. All Mr Dorrit's protestations being in vain, +he enjoyed the honour of being accompanied to the hall-door by this +distinguished man, who (as Mr Dorrit told him in shaking hands on the +step) had really overwhelmed him with attentions and services during +this memorable visit. Thus they parted; Mr Dorrit entering his carriage +with a swelling breast, not at all sorry that his Courier, who had +come to take leave in the lower regions, should have an opportunity of +beholding the grandeur of his departure. + +The aforesaid grandeur was yet full upon Mr Dorrit when he alighted at +his hotel. Helped out by the Courier and some half-dozen of the hotel +servants, he was passing through the hall with a serene magnificence, +when lo! a sight presented itself that struck him dumb and motionless. +John Chivery, in his best clothes, with his tall hat under his arm, his +ivory-handled cane genteelly embarrassing his deportment, and a bundle +of cigars in his hand! + +'Now, young man,' said the porter. 'This is the gentleman. This young +man has persisted in waiting, sir, saying you would be glad to see him.' + +Mr Dorrit glared on the young man, choked, and said, in the mildest of +tones, 'Ah! Young John! It is Young John, I think; is it not?' + +'Yes, sir,' returned Young John. + +'I--ha--thought it was Young John!' said Mr Dorrit. 'The young man may +come up,' turning to the attendants, as he passed on: 'oh yes, he may +come up. Let Young John follow. I will speak to him above.' + +Young John followed, smiling and much gratified. Mr Dorrit's rooms were +reached. Candles were lighted. The attendants withdrew. + +'Now, sir,' said Mr Dorrit, turning round upon him and seizing him by +the collar when they were safely alone. 'What do you mean by this?' + +The amazement and horror depicted in the unfortunate John's face--for +he had rather expected to be embraced next--were of that powerfully +expressive nature that Mr Dorrit withdrew his hand and merely glared at +him. + +'How dare you do this?' said Mr Dorrit. 'How do you presume to come +here? How dare you insult me?' + +'I insult you, sir?' cried Young John. 'Oh!' + +'Yes, sir,' returned Mr Dorrit. 'Insult me. Your coming here is an +affront, an impertinence, an audacity. You are not wanted here. +Who sent you here? What--ha--the Devil do you do here?' + +'I thought, sir,' said Young John, with as pale and shocked a face as +ever had been turned to Mr Dorrit's in his life--even in his College +life: 'I thought, sir, you mightn't object to have the goodness to +accept a bundle--' + +'Damn your bundle, sir!' cried Mr Dorrit, in irrepressible rage. +'I--hum--don't smoke.' + +'I humbly beg your pardon, sir. You used to.' + +'Tell me that again,' cried Mr Dorrit, quite beside himself, 'and I'll +take the poker to you!' + +John Chivery backed to the door. + +'Stop, sir!' cried Mr Dorrit. 'Stop! Sit down. Confound you sit down!' + +John Chivery dropped into the chair nearest the door, and Mr Dorrit +walked up and down the room; rapidly at first; then, more slowly. Once, +he went to the window, and stood there with his forehead against the +glass. All of a sudden, he turned and said: + +'What else did you come for, Sir?' + +'Nothing else in the world, sir. Oh dear me! Only to say, Sir, that I +hoped you was well, and only to ask if Miss Amy was Well?' + +'What's that to you, sir?' retorted Mr Dorrit. + +'It's nothing to me, sir, by rights. I never thought of lessening the +distance betwixt us, I am sure. I know it's a liberty, sir, but I never +thought you'd have taken it ill. Upon my word and honour, sir,' said +Young John, with emotion, 'in my poor way, I am too proud to have come, +I assure you, if I had thought so.' + +Mr Dorrit was ashamed. He went back to the window, and leaned his +forehead against the glass for some time. When he turned, he had his +handkerchief in his hand, and he had been wiping his eyes with it, and +he looked tired and ill. + +'Young John, I am very sorry to have been hasty with you, but--ha--some +remembrances are not happy remembrances, and--hum--you shouldn't have +come.' + +'I feel that now, sir,' returned John Chivery; 'but I didn't before, and +Heaven knows I meant no harm, sir.' + +'No. No,' said Mr Dorrit. 'I am--hum--sure of that. Ha. Give me your +hand, Young John, give me your hand.' + +Young John gave it; but Mr Dorrit had driven his heart out of it, and +nothing could change his face now, from its white, shocked look. + +'There!' said Mr Dorrit, slowly shaking hands with him. 'Sit down again, +Young John.' + +'Thank you, sir--but I'd rather stand.' + +Mr Dorrit sat down instead. After painfully holding his head a little +while, he turned it to his visitor, and said, with an effort to be easy: + +'And how is your father, Young John? How--ha--how are they all, Young +John?' + +'Thank you, sir, They're all pretty well, sir. They're not any ways +complaining.' + +'Hum. You are in your--ha--old business I see, John?' said Mr Dorrit, +with a glance at the offending bundle he had anathematised. + +'Partly, sir. I am in my'--John hesitated a little--'father's business +likewise.' + +'Oh indeed!' said Mr Dorrit. 'Do you--ha hum--go upon the ha--' + +'Lock, sir? Yes, sir.' + +'Much to do, John?' + +'Yes, sir; we're pretty heavy at present. I don't know how it is, but we +generally _are_ pretty heavy.' + +'At this time of the year, Young John?' + +'Mostly at all times of the year, sir. I don't know the time that makes +much difference to us. I wish you good night, sir.' + +'Stay a moment, John--ha--stay a moment. Hum. Leave me the cigars, John, +I--ha--beg.' + +'Certainly, sir.' John put them, with a trembling hand, on the table. + +'Stay a moment, Young John; stay another moment. It would be a--ha--a +gratification to me to send a little--hum--Testimonial, by such a trusty +messenger, to be divided among--ha hum--them--_them_--according to their +wants. Would you object to take it, John?' + +'Not in any ways, sir. There's many of them, I'm sure, that would be the +better for it.' + +'Thank you, John. I--ha--I'll write it, John.' + +His hand shook so that he was a long time writing it, and wrote it in +a tremulous scrawl at last. It was a cheque for one hundred pounds. He +folded it up, put it in Young John's hand, and pressed the hand in his. + +'I hope you'll--ha--overlook--hum--what has passed, John.' + +'Don't speak of it, sir, on any accounts. I don't in any ways bear +malice, I'm sure.' + +But nothing while John was there could change John's face to its natural +colour and expression, or restore John's natural manner. + +'And, John,' said Mr Dorrit, giving his hand a final pressure, and +releasing it, 'I hope we--ha--agree that we have spoken together +in confidence; and that you will abstain, in going out, from saying +anything to any one that might--hum--suggest that--ha--once I--' + +'Oh! I assure you, sir,' returned John Chivery, 'in my poor humble way, +sir, I'm too proud and honourable to do it, sir.' + +Mr Dorrit was not too proud and honourable to listen at the door that +he might ascertain for himself whether John really went straight out, or +lingered to have any talk with any one. There was no doubt that he went +direct out at the door, and away down the street with a quick step. +After remaining alone for an hour, Mr Dorrit rang for the Courier, +who found him with his chair on the hearth-rug, sitting with his back +towards him and his face to the fire. 'You can take that bundle of +cigars to smoke on the journey, if you like,' said Mr Dorrit, with +a careless wave of his hand. 'Ha--brought by--hum--little offering +from--ha--son of old tenant of mine.' + +Next morning's sun saw Mr Dorrit's equipage upon the Dover road, where +every red-jacketed postilion was the sign of a cruel house, established +for the unmerciful plundering of travellers. The whole business of the +human race, between London and Dover, being spoliation, Mr Dorrit was +waylaid at Dartford, pillaged at Gravesend, rifled at Rochester, fleeced +at Sittingbourne, and sacked at Canterbury. However, it being the +Courier's business to get him out of the hands of the banditti, the +Courier brought him off at every stage; and so the red-jackets went +gleaming merrily along the spring landscape, rising and falling to +a regular measure, between Mr Dorrit in his snug corner and the next +chalky rise in the dusty highway. + +Another day's sun saw him at Calais. And having now got the Channel +between himself and John Chivery, he began to feel safe, and to find +that the foreign air was lighter to breathe than the air of England. + +On again by the heavy French roads for Paris. Having now quite recovered +his equanimity, Mr Dorrit, in his snug corner, fell to castle-building +as he rode along. It was evident that he had a very large castle in +hand. All day long he was running towers up, taking towers down, adding +a wing here, putting on a battlement there, looking to the walls, +strengthening the defences, giving ornamental touches to the interior, +making in all respects a superb castle of it. His preoccupied face so +clearly denoted the pursuit in which he was engaged, that every cripple +at the post-houses, not blind, who shoved his little battered tin-box in +at the carriage window for Charity in the name of Heaven, Charity in the +name of our Lady, Charity in the name of all the Saints, knew as well +what work he was at, as their countryman Le Brun could have known it +himself, though he had made that English traveller the subject of a +special physiognomical treatise. + +Arrived at Paris, and resting there three days, Mr Dorrit strolled +much about the streets alone, looking in at the shop-windows, and +particularly the jewellers' windows. Ultimately, he went into the most +famous jeweller's, and said he wanted to buy a little gift for a lady. + +It was a charming little woman to whom he said it--a sprightly little +woman, dressed in perfect taste, who came out of a green velvet bower +to attend upon him, from posting up some dainty little books of account +which one could hardly suppose to be ruled for the entry of any articles +more commercial than kisses, at a dainty little shining desk which +looked in itself like a sweetmeat. + +For example, then, said the little woman, what species of gift did +Monsieur desire? A love-gift? + +Mr Dorrit smiled, and said, Eh, well! Perhaps. What did he know? It was +always possible; the sex being so charming. Would she show him some? + +Most willingly, said the little woman. Flattered and enchanted to show +him many. But pardon! To begin with, he would have the great goodness +to observe that there were love-gifts, and there were nuptial gifts. +For example, these ravishing ear-rings and this necklace so superb to +correspond, were what one called a love-gift. These brooches and these +rings, of a beauty so gracious and celestial, were what one called, with +the permission of Monsieur, nuptial gifts. + +Perhaps it would be a good arrangement, Mr Dorrit hinted, smiling, to +purchase both, and to present the love-gift first, and to finish with +the nuptial offering? + +Ah Heaven! said the little woman, laying the tips of the fingers of her +two little hands against each other, that would be generous indeed, that +would be a special gallantry! And without doubt the lady so crushed with +gifts would find them irresistible. + +Mr Dorrit was not sure of that. But, for example, the sprightly little +woman was very sure of it, she said. So Mr Dorrit bought a gift of +each sort, and paid handsomely for it. As he strolled back to his hotel +afterwards, he carried his head high: having plainly got up his castle +now to a much loftier altitude than the two square towers of Notre Dame. + +Building away with all his might, but reserving the plans of his castle +exclusively for his own eye, Mr Dorrit posted away for Marseilles. +Building on, building on, busily, busily, from morning to night. Falling +asleep, and leaving great blocks of building materials dangling in the +air; waking again, to resume work and get them into their places. What +time the Courier in the rumble, smoking Young John's best cigars, left +a little thread of thin light smoke behind--perhaps as _he_ built a +castle or two with stray pieces of Mr Dorrit's money. + +Not a fortified town that they passed in all their journey was as +strong, not a Cathedral summit was as high, as Mr Dorrit's castle. +Neither the Saone nor the Rhone sped with the swiftness of that peerless +building; nor was the Mediterranean deeper than its foundations; nor +were the distant landscapes on the Cornice road, nor the hills and bay +of Genoa the Superb, more beautiful. Mr Dorrit and his matchless castle +were disembarked among the dirty white houses and dirtier felons of +Civita Vecchia, and thence scrambled on to Rome as they could, through +the filth that festered on the way. + + + + +CHAPTER 19. The Storming of the Castle in the Air + + +The sun had gone down full four hours, and it was later than most +travellers would like it to be for finding themselves outside the walls +of Rome, when Mr Dorrit's carriage, still on its last wearisome +stage, rattled over the solitary Campagna. The savage herdsmen and +the fierce-looking peasants who had chequered the way while the light +lasted, had all gone down with the sun, and left the wilderness +blank. At some turns of the road, a pale flare on the horizon, like an +exhalation from the ruin-sown land, showed that the city was yet far +off; but this poor relief was rare and short-lived. The carriage dipped +down again into a hollow of the black dry sea, and for a long time there +was nothing visible save its petrified swell and the gloomy sky. + +Mr Dorrit, though he had his castle-building to engage his mind, could +not be quite easy in that desolate place. He was far more curious, in +every swerve of the carriage, and every cry of the postilions, than he +had been since he quitted London. The valet on the box evidently quaked. +The Courier in the rumble was not altogether comfortable in his mind. As +often as Mr Dorrit let down the glass and looked back at him (which was +very often), he saw him smoking John Chivery out, it is true, but still +generally standing up the while and looking about him, like a man who +had his suspicions, and kept upon his guard. Then would Mr Dorrit, +pulling up the glass again, reflect that those postilions were +cut-throat looking fellows, and that he would have done better to have +slept at Civita Vecchia, and have started betimes in the morning. But, +for all this, he worked at his castle in the intervals. + +And now, fragments of ruinous enclosure, yawning window-gap and crazy +wall, deserted houses, leaking wells, broken water-tanks, spectral +cypress-trees, patches of tangled vine, and the changing of the track to +a long, irregular, disordered lane where everything was crumbling away, +from the unsightly buildings to the jolting road--now, these objects +showed that they were nearing Rome. And now, a sudden twist and stoppage +of the carriage inspired Mr Dorrit with the mistrust that the brigand +moment was come for twisting him into a ditch and robbing him; until, +letting down the glass again and looking out, he perceived himself +assailed by nothing worse than a funeral procession, which came +mechanically chaunting by, with an indistinct show of dirty vestments, +lurid torches, swinging censers, and a great cross borne before a +priest. He was an ugly priest by torchlight; of a lowering aspect, with +an overhanging brow; and as his eyes met those of Mr Dorrit, looking +bareheaded out of the carriage, his lips, moving as they chaunted, +seemed to threaten that important traveller; likewise the action of +his hand, which was in fact his manner of returning the traveller's +salutation, seemed to come in aid of that menace. So thought Mr Dorrit, +made fanciful by the weariness of building and travelling, as the priest +drifted past him, and the procession straggled away, taking its dead +along with it. Upon their so-different way went Mr Dorrit's company too; +and soon, with their coach load of luxuries from the two great capitals +of Europe, they were (like the Goths reversed) beating at the gates of +Rome. + +Mr Dorrit was not expected by his own people that night. He had been; +but they had given him up until to-morrow, not doubting that it was +later than he would care, in those parts, to be out. Thus, when his +equipage stopped at his own gate, no one but the porter appeared to +receive him. Was Miss Dorrit from home? he asked. No. She was within. +Good, said Mr Dorrit to the assembling servants; let them keep where +they were; let them help to unload the carriage; he would find Miss +Dorrit for himself. + +So he went up his grand staircase, slowly, and tired, and looked into +various chambers which were empty, until he saw a light in a small +ante-room. It was a curtained nook, like a tent, within two other rooms; +and it looked warm and bright in colour, as he approached it through the +dark avenue they made. + +There was a draped doorway, but no door; and as he stopped here, looking +in unseen, he felt a pang. Surely not like jealousy? For why like +jealousy? There was only his daughter and his brother there: he, with +his chair drawn to the hearth, enjoying the warmth of the evening wood +fire; she seated at a little table, busied with some embroidery work. +Allowing for the great difference in the still-life of the picture, the +figures were much the same as of old; his brother being sufficiently +like himself to represent himself, for a moment, in the composition. +So had he sat many a night, over a coal fire far away; so had she sat, +devoted to him. Yet surely there was nothing to be jealous of in the old +miserable poverty. Whence, then, the pang in his heart? + +'Do you know, uncle, I think you are growing young again?' + +Her uncle shook his head and said, 'Since when, my dear; since when?' + +'I think,' returned Little Dorrit, plying her needle, 'that you have +been growing younger for weeks past. So cheerful, uncle, and so ready, +and so interested.' + +'My dear child--all you.' + +'All me, uncle!' + +'Yes, yes. You have done me a world of good. You have been so +considerate of me, and so tender with me, and so delicate in trying to +hide your attentions from me, that I--well, well, well! It's treasured +up, my darling, treasured up.' + +'There is nothing in it but your own fresh fancy, uncle,' said Little +Dorrit, cheerfully. + +'Well, well, well!' murmured the old man. 'Thank God!' + +She paused for an instant in her work to look at him, and her look +revived that former pain in her father's breast; in his poor weak +breast, so full of contradictions, vacillations, inconsistencies, the +little peevish perplexities of this ignorant life, mists which the +morning without a night only can clear away. + +'I have been freer with you, you see, my dove,' said the old man, 'since +we have been alone. I say, alone, for I don't count Mrs General; I +don't care for her; she has nothing to do with me. But I know Fanny was +impatient of me. And I don't wonder at it, or complain of it, for I am +sensible that I must be in the way, though I try to keep out of it as +well as I can. I know I am not fit company for our company. My brother +William,' said the old man admiringly, 'is fit company for monarchs; +but not so your uncle, my dear. Frederick Dorrit is no credit to William +Dorrit, and he knows it quite well. Ah! Why, here's your father, Amy! +My dear William, welcome back! My beloved brother, I am rejoiced to see +you!' + +(Turning his head in speaking, he had caught sight of him as he stood in +the doorway.) + +Little Dorrit with a cry of pleasure put her arms about her father's +neck, and kissed him again and again. Her father was a little impatient, +and a little querulous. 'I am glad to find you at last, Amy,' he said. +'Ha. Really I am glad to find--hum--any one to receive me at last. +I appear to have been--ha--so little expected, that upon my word +I began--ha hum--to think it might be right to offer an apology +for--ha--taking the liberty of coming back at all.' + +'It was so late, my dear William,' said his brother, 'that we had given +you up for to-night.' + +'I am stronger than you, dear Frederick,' returned his brother with an +elaboration of fraternity in which there was severity; 'and I hope I can +travel without detriment at--ha--any hour I choose.' + +'Surely, surely,' returned the other, with a misgiving that he had given +offence. 'Surely, William.' + +'Thank you, Amy,' pursued Mr Dorrit, as she helped him to put off his +wrappers. 'I can do it without assistance. I--ha--need not trouble you, +Amy. Could I have a morsel of bread and a glass of wine, or--hum--would +it cause too much inconvenience?' + +'Dear father, you shall have supper in a very few minutes.' + +'Thank you, my love,' said Mr Dorrit, with a reproachful frost upon him; +'I--ha--am afraid I am causing inconvenience. Hum. Mrs General pretty +well?' + +'Mrs General complained of a headache, and of being fatigued; and so, +when we gave you up, she went to bed, dear.' + +Perhaps Mr Dorrit thought that Mrs General had done well in being +overcome by the disappointment of his not arriving. At any rate, his +face relaxed, and he said with obvious satisfaction, 'Extremely sorry to +hear that Mrs General is not well.' + +During this short dialogue, his daughter had been observant of him, with +something more than her usual interest. It would seem as though he had +a changed or worn appearance in her eyes, and he perceived and resented +it; for he said with renewed peevishness, when he had divested himself +of his travelling-cloak, and had come to the fire: + +'Amy, what are you looking at? What do you see in me that causes you +to--ha--concentrate your solicitude on me in that--hum--very particular +manner?' + +'I did not know it, father; I beg your pardon. It gladdens my eyes to +see you again; that's all.' + +'Don't say that's all, because--ha--that's not all. You--hum--you +think,' said Mr Dorrit, with an accusatory emphasis, 'that I am not +looking well.' + +'I thought you looked a little tired, love.' + +'Then you are mistaken,' said Mr Dorrit. 'Ha, I am _not_ tired. Ha, hum. I +am very much fresher than I was when I went away.' + +He was so inclined to be angry that she said nothing more in her +justification, but remained quietly beside him embracing his arm. As +he stood thus, with his brother on the other side, he fell into a heavy +doze, of not a minute's duration, and awoke with a start. + +'Frederick,' he said, turning to his brother: 'I recommend you to go to +bed immediately.' + +'No, William. I'll wait and see you sup.' + +'Frederick,' he retorted, 'I beg you to go to bed. I--ha--make it a +personal request that you go to bed. You ought to have been in bed long +ago. You are very feeble.' + +'Hah!' said the old man, who had no wish but to please him. 'Well, well, +well! I dare say I am.' + +'My dear Frederick,' returned Mr Dorrit, with an astonishing superiority +to his brother's failing powers, 'there can be no doubt of it. It is +painful to me to see you so weak. Ha. It distresses me. Hum. I don't +find you looking at all well. You are not fit for this sort of thing. +You should be more careful, you should be very careful.' + +'Shall I go to bed?' asked Frederick. + +'Dear Frederick,' said Mr Dorrit, 'do, I adjure you! Good night, +brother. I hope you will be stronger to-morrow. I am not at all pleased +with your looks. Good night, dear fellow.' After dismissing his brother +in this gracious way, he fell into a doze again before the old man was +well out of the room: and he would have stumbled forward upon the logs, +but for his daughter's restraining hold. + +'Your uncle wanders very much, Amy,' he said, when he was thus roused. +'He is less--ha--coherent, and his conversation is more--hum--broken, +than I have--ha, hum--ever known. Has he had any illness since I have +been gone?' + +'No, father.' + +'You--ha--see a great change in him, Amy?' + +'I have not observed it, dear.' + +'Greatly broken,' said Mr Dorrit. 'Greatly broken. My poor, +affectionate, failing Frederick! Ha. Even taking into account what he +was before, he is--hum--sadly broken!' + +His supper, which was brought to him there, and spread upon the little +table where he had seen her working, diverted his attention. She sat at +his side as in the days that were gone, for the first time since those +days ended. They were alone, and she helped him to his meat and poured +out his drink for him, as she had been used to do in the prison. All +this happened now, for the first time since their accession to wealth. +She was afraid to look at him much, after the offence he had taken; but +she noticed two occasions in the course of his meal, when he all of a +sudden looked at her, and looked about him, as if the association were +so strong that he needed assurance from his sense of sight that they +were not in the old prison-room. Both times, he put his hand to his head +as if he missed his old black cap--though it had been ignominiously +given away in the Marshalsea, and had never got free to that hour, but +still hovered about the yards on the head of his successor. + +He took very little supper, but was a long time over it, and often +reverted to his brother's declining state. Though he expressed the +greatest pity for him, he was almost bitter upon him. He said that poor +Frederick--ha hum--drivelled. There was no other word to express it; +drivelled. Poor fellow! It was melancholy to reflect what Amy must have +undergone from the excessive tediousness of his Society--wandering and +babbling on, poor dear estimable creature, wandering and babbling on--if +it had not been for the relief she had had in Mrs General. +Extremely sorry, he then repeated with his former satisfaction, that +that--ha--superior woman was poorly. + +Little Dorrit, in her watchful love, would have remembered the lightest +thing he said or did that night, though she had had no subsequent reason +to recall that night. She always remembered that, when he looked about +him under the strong influence of the old association, he tried to +keep it out of her mind, and perhaps out of his own too, by immediately +expatiating on the great riches and great company that had encompassed +him in his absence, and on the lofty position he and his family had to +sustain. Nor did she fail to recall that there were two under-currents, +side by side, pervading all his discourse and all his manner; one +showing her how well he had got on without her, and how independent +he was of her; the other, in a fitful and unintelligible way almost +complaining of her, as if it had been possible that she had neglected +him while he was away. + +His telling her of the glorious state that Mr Merdle kept, and of the +court that bowed before him, naturally brought him to Mrs Merdle. So +naturally indeed, that although there was an unusual want of sequence in +the greater part of his remarks, he passed to her at once, and asked how +she was. + +'She is very well. She is going away next week.' + +'Home?' asked Mr Dorrit. + +'After a few weeks' stay upon the road.' + +'She will be a vast loss here,' said Mr Dorrit. 'A vast--ha--acquisition +at home. To Fanny, and to--hum--the rest of the--ha--great world.' + +Little Dorrit thought of the competition that was to be entered upon, +and assented very softly. + +'Mrs Merdle is going to have a great farewell Assembly, dear, and a +dinner before it. She has been expressing her anxiety that you should +return in time. She has invited both you and me to her dinner.' + +'She is--ha--very kind. When is the day?' + +'The day after to-morrow.' + +'Write round in the morning, and say that I have returned, and +shall--hum--be delighted.' + +'May I walk with you up the stairs to your room, dear?' + +'No!' he answered, looking angrily round; for he was moving away, as if +forgetful of leave-taking. 'You may not, Amy. I want no help. I am your +father, not your infirm uncle!' He checked himself, as abruptly as he +had broken into this reply, and said, 'You have not kissed me, Amy. Good +night, my dear! We must marry--ha--we must marry _you_, now.' With that +he went, more slowly and more tired, up the staircase to his rooms, and, +almost as soon as he got there, dismissed his valet. His next care was +to look about him for his Paris purchases, and, after opening their +cases and carefully surveying them, to put them away under lock and +key. After that, what with dozing and what with castle-building, he lost +himself for a long time, so that there was a touch of morning on the +eastward rim of the desolate Campagna when he crept to bed. + +Mrs General sent up her compliments in good time next day, and hoped +he had rested well after this fatiguing journey. He sent down his +compliments, and begged to inform Mrs General that he had rested very +well indeed, and was in high condition. Nevertheless, he did not come +forth from his own rooms until late in the afternoon; and, although he +then caused himself to be magnificently arrayed for a drive with +Mrs General and his daughter, his appearance was scarcely up to his +description of himself. + +As the family had no visitors that day, its four members dined alone +together. He conducted Mrs General to the seat at his right hand with +immense ceremony; and Little Dorrit could not but notice as she followed +with her uncle, both that he was again elaborately dressed, and that his +manner towards Mrs General was very particular. The perfect formation of +that accomplished lady's surface rendered it difficult to displace an +atom of its genteel glaze, but Little Dorrit thought she descried a +slight thaw of triumph in a corner of her frosty eye. + +Notwithstanding what may be called in these pages the Pruney and +Prismatic nature of the family banquet, Mr Dorrit several times fell +asleep while it was in progress. His fits of dozing were as sudden as +they had been overnight, and were as short and profound. When the first +of these slumberings seized him, Mrs General looked almost amazed: but, +on each recurrence of the symptoms, she told her polite beads, Papa, +Potatoes, Poultry, Prunes, and Prism; and, by dint of going through that +infallible performance very slowly, appeared to finish her rosary at +about the same time as Mr Dorrit started from his sleep. + +He was again painfully aware of a somnolent tendency in Frederick (which +had no existence out of his own imagination), and after dinner, when +Frederick had withdrawn, privately apologised to Mrs General for the +poor man. 'The most estimable and affectionate of brothers,' he said, +'but--ha, hum--broken up altogether. Unhappily, declining fast.' + +'Mr Frederick, sir,' quoth Mrs General, 'is habitually absent and +drooping, but let us hope it is not so bad as that.' + +Mr Dorrit, however, was determined not to let him off. 'Fast declining, +madam. A wreck. A ruin. Mouldering away before our eyes. Hum. Good +Frederick!' + +'You left Mrs Sparkler quite well and happy, I trust?' said Mrs General, +after heaving a cool sigh for Frederick. + +'Surrounded,' replied Mr Dorrit, 'by--ha--all that can charm the taste, +and--hum--elevate the mind. Happy, my dear madam, in a--hum--husband.' + +Mrs General was a little fluttered; seeming delicately to put the word +away with her gloves, as if there were no knowing what it might lead to. + +'Fanny,' Mr Dorrit continued. 'Fanny, Mrs General, has high +qualities. Ha. Ambition--hum--purpose, consciousness of--ha--position, +determination to support that position--ha, hum--grace, beauty, and +native nobility.' + +'No doubt,' said Mrs General (with a little extra stiffness). + +'Combined with these qualities, madam,' said Mr Dorrit, 'Fanny +has--ha--manifested one blemish which has made me--hum--made me uneasy, +and--ha--I must add, angry; but which I trust may now be considered +at an end, even as to herself, and which is undoubtedly at an end as +to--ha--others.' + +'To what, Mr Dorrit,' returned Mrs General, with her gloves again +somewhat excited, 'can you allude? I am at a loss to--' + +'Do not say that, my dear madam,' interrupted Mr Dorrit. + +Mrs General's voice, as it died away, pronounced the words, 'at a loss +to imagine.' + +After which Mr Dorrit was seized with a doze for about a minute, out of +which he sprang with spasmodic nimbleness. + +'I refer, Mrs General, to that--ha--strong spirit of opposition, +or--hum--I might say--ha--jealousy in Fanny, which has occasionally +risen against the--ha--sense I entertain of--hum--the claims of--ha--the +lady with whom I have now the honour of communing.' + +'Mr Dorrit,' returned Mrs General, 'is ever but too obliging, ever but +too appreciative. If there have been moments when I have imagined that +Miss Dorrit has indeed resented the favourable opinion Mr Dorrit has +formed of my services, I have found, in that only too high opinion, my +consolation and recompense.' + +'Opinion of your services, madam?' said Mr Dorrit. + +'Of,' Mrs General repeated, in an elegantly impressive manner, 'my +services.' + +'Of your services alone, dear madam?' said Mr Dorrit. + +'I presume,' retorted Mrs General, in her former impressive manner, 'of +my services alone. For, to what else,' said Mrs General, with a slightly +interrogative action of her gloves, 'could I impute--' + +'To--ha--yourself, Mrs General. Ha, hum. To yourself and your merits,' +was Mr Dorrit's rejoinder. + +'Mr Dorrit will pardon me,' said Mrs General, 'if I remark that this +is not a time or place for the pursuit of the present conversation. +Mr Dorrit will excuse me if I remind him that Miss Dorrit is in the +adjoining room, and is visible to myself while I utter her name. Mr +Dorrit will forgive me if I observe that I am agitated, and that I find +there are moments when weaknesses I supposed myself to have subdued, +return with redoubled power. Mr Dorrit will allow me to withdraw.' + +'Hum. Perhaps we may resume this--ha--interesting conversation,' said +Mr Dorrit, 'at another time; unless it should be, what I hope it is +not--hum--in any way disagreeable to--ah--Mrs General.' + +'Mr Dorrit,' said Mrs General, casting down her eyes as she rose with a +bend, 'must ever claim my homage and obedience.' + +Mrs General then took herself off in a stately way, and not with that +amount of trepidation upon her which might have been expected in a less +remarkable woman. Mr Dorrit, who had conducted his part of the dialogue +with a certain majestic and admiring condescension--much as some people +may be seen to conduct themselves in Church, and to perform their part +in the service--appeared, on the whole, very well satisfied with himself +and with Mrs General too. On the return of that lady to tea, she had +touched herself up with a little powder and pomatum, and was not without +moral enchantment likewise: the latter showing itself in much sweet +patronage of manner towards Miss Dorrit, and in an air of as tender +interest in Mr Dorrit as was consistent with rigid propriety. At the +close of the evening, when she rose to retire, Mr Dorrit took her by the +hand as if he were going to lead her out into the Piazza of the people +to walk a minuet by moonlight, and with great solemnity conducted her to +the room door, where he raised her knuckles to his lips. Having parted +from her with what may be conjectured to have been a rather bony kiss of +a cosmetic flavour, he gave his daughter his blessing, graciously. And +having thus hinted that there was something remarkable in the wind, he +again went to bed. + +He remained in the seclusion of his own chamber next morning; but, early +in the afternoon, sent down his best compliments to Mrs General, by Mr +Tinkler, and begged she would accompany Miss Dorrit on an airing +without him. His daughter was dressed for Mrs Merdle's dinner before he +appeared. He then presented himself in a refulgent condition as to his +attire, but looking indefinably shrunken and old. However, as he was +plainly determined to be angry with her if she so much as asked him how +he was, she only ventured to kiss his cheek, before accompanying him to +Mrs Merdle's with an anxious heart. + +The distance that they had to go was very short, but he was at his +building work again before the carriage had half traversed it. Mrs +Merdle received him with great distinction; the bosom was in admirable +preservation, and on the best terms with itself; the dinner was very +choice; and the company was very select. + +It was principally English; saving that it comprised the usual French +Count and the usual Italian Marchese--decorative social milestones, +always to be found in certain places, and varying very little in +appearance. The table was long, and the dinner was long; and Little +Dorrit, overshadowed by a large pair of black whiskers and a large white +cravat, lost sight of her father altogether, until a servant put a scrap +of paper in her hand, with a whispered request from Mrs Merdle that she +would read it directly. Mrs Merdle had written on it in pencil, 'Pray +come and speak to Mr Dorrit, I doubt if he is well.' + +She was hurrying to him, unobserved, when he got up out of his chair, +and leaning over the table called to her, supposing her to be still in +her place: + +'Amy, Amy, my child!' + +The action was so unusual, to say nothing of his strange eager +appearance and strange eager voice, that it instantaneously caused a +profound silence. + +'Amy, my dear,' he repeated. 'Will you go and see if Bob is on the +lock?' + +She was at his side, and touching him, but he still perversely supposed +her to be in her seat, and called out, still leaning over the table, +'Amy, Amy. I don't feel quite myself. Ha. I don't know what's the matter +with me. I particularly wish to see Bob. Ha. Of all the turnkeys, he's +as much my friend as yours. See if Bob is in the lodge, and beg him to +come to me.' + +All the guests were now in consternation, and everybody rose. + +'Dear father, I am not there; I am here, by you.' + +'Oh! You are here, Amy! Good. Hum. Good. Ha. Call Bob. If he has been +relieved, and is not on the lock, tell Mrs Bangham to go and fetch him.' + +She was gently trying to get him away; but he resisted, and would not +go. + +'I tell you, child,' he said petulantly, 'I can't be got up the narrow +stairs without Bob. Ha. Send for Bob. Hum. Send for Bob--best of all the +turnkeys--send for Bob!' + +He looked confusedly about him, and, becoming conscious of the number of +faces by which he was surrounded, addressed them: + +'Ladies and gentlemen, the duty--ha--devolves upon me of--hum--welcoming +you to the Marshalsea! Welcome to the Marshalsea! The space +is--ha--limited--limited--the parade might be wider; but you will +find it apparently grow larger after a time--a time, ladies and +gentlemen--and the air is, all things considered, very good. It blows +over the--ha--Surrey hills. Blows over the Surrey hills. This is the +Snuggery. Hum. Supported by a small subscription of the--ha--Collegiate +body. In return for which--hot water--general kitchen--and little +domestic advantages. Those who are habituated to the--ha--Marshalsea, +are pleased to call me its father. I am accustomed to be complimented by +strangers as the--ha--Father of the Marshalsea. Certainly, if years of +residence may establish a claim to so--ha--honourable a title, I may +accept the--hum--conferred distinction. My child, ladies and gentlemen. +My daughter. Born here!' + +She was not ashamed of it, or ashamed of him. She was pale and +frightened; but she had no other care than to soothe him and get him +away, for his own dear sake. She was between him and the wondering +faces, turned round upon his breast with her own face raised to his. He +held her clasped in his left arm, and between whiles her low voice was +heard tenderly imploring him to go away with her. + +'Born here,' he repeated, shedding tears. 'Bred here. Ladies and +gentlemen, my daughter. Child of an unfortunate father, but--ha--always +a gentleman. Poor, no doubt, but--hum--proud. Always proud. It +has become a--hum--not infrequent custom for my--ha--personal +admirers--personal admirers solely--to be pleased to express +their desire to acknowledge my semi-official position here, +by offering--ha--little tributes, which usually take the form +of--ha--voluntary recognitions of my humble endeavours to--hum--to +uphold a Tone here--a Tone--I beg it to be understood that I do not +consider myself compromised. Ha. Not compromised. Ha. Not a beggar. No; +I repudiate the title! At the same time far be it from me to--hum--to +put upon the fine feelings by which my partial friends are actuated, +the slight of scrupling to admit that those offerings are--hum--highly +acceptable. On the contrary, they are most acceptable. In my child's +name, if not in my own, I make the admission in the fullest manner, at +the same time reserving--ha--shall I say my personal dignity? Ladies and +gentlemen, God bless you all!' + +By this time, the exceeding mortification undergone by the Bosom had +occasioned the withdrawal of the greater part of the company into other +rooms. The few who had lingered thus long followed the rest, and Little +Dorrit and her father were left to the servants and themselves. Dearest +and most precious to her, he would come with her now, would he not? He +replied to her fervid entreaties, that he would never be able to get up +the narrow stairs without Bob; where was Bob, would nobody fetch Bob? +Under pretence of looking for Bob, she got him out against the stream of +gay company now pouring in for the evening assembly, and got him into a +coach that had just set down its load, and got him home. + +The broad stairs of his Roman palace were contracted in his failing +sight to the narrow stairs of his London prison; and he would suffer no +one but her to touch him, his brother excepted. They got him up to his +room without help, and laid him down on his bed. And from that hour his +poor maimed spirit, only remembering the place where it had broken its +wings, cancelled the dream through which it had since groped, and knew +of nothing beyond the Marshalsea. When he heard footsteps in the street, +he took them for the old weary tread in the yards. When the hour came +for locking up, he supposed all strangers to be excluded for the night. +When the time for opening came again, he was so anxious to see Bob, that +they were fain to patch up a narrative how that Bob--many a year dead +then, gentle turnkey--had taken cold, but hoped to be out to-morrow, or +the next day, or the next at furthest. + +He fell away into a weakness so extreme that he could not raise his +hand. But he still protected his brother according to his long usage; +and would say with some complacency, fifty times a day, when he saw him +standing by his bed, 'My good Frederick, sit down. You are very feeble +indeed.' + +They tried him with Mrs General, but he had not the faintest knowledge +of her. Some injurious suspicion lodged itself in his brain, that she +wanted to supplant Mrs Bangham, and that she was given to drinking. He +charged her with it in no measured terms; and was so urgent with his +daughter to go round to the Marshal and entreat him to turn her out, +that she was never reproduced after the first failure. + +Saving that he once asked 'if Tip had gone outside?' the remembrance of +his two children not present seemed to have departed from him. But the +child who had done so much for him and had been so poorly repaid, was +never out of his mind. Not that he spared her, or was fearful of her +being spent by watching and fatigue; he was not more troubled on that +score than he had usually been. No; he loved her in his old way. They +were in the jail again, and she tended him, and he had constant need of +her, and could not turn without her; and he even told her, sometimes, +that he was content to have undergone a great deal for her sake. As to +her, she bent over his bed with her quiet face against his, and would +have laid down her own life to restore him. + +When he had been sinking in this painless way for two or three days, she +observed him to be troubled by the ticking of his watch--a pompous gold +watch that made as great a to-do about its going as if nothing else +went but itself and Time. She suffered it to run down; but he was still +uneasy, and showed that was not what he wanted. At length he roused +himself to explain that he wanted money to be raised on this watch. He +was quite pleased when she pretended to take it away for the purpose, +and afterwards had a relish for his little tastes of wine and jelly, +that he had not had before. + +He soon made it plain that this was so; for, in another day or two +he sent off his sleeve-buttons and finger-rings. He had an amazing +satisfaction in entrusting her with these errands, and appeared to +consider it equivalent to making the most methodical and provident +arrangements. After his trinkets, or such of them as he had been able to +see about him, were gone, his clothes engaged his attention; and it +is as likely as not that he was kept alive for some days by the +satisfaction of sending them, piece by piece, to an imaginary +pawnbroker's. + +Thus for ten days Little Dorrit bent over his pillow, laying her cheek +against his. Sometimes she was so worn out that for a few minutes +they would slumber together. Then she would awake; to recollect with +fast-flowing silent tears what it was that touched her face, and to see, +stealing over the cherished face upon the pillow, a deeper shadow than +the shadow of the Marshalsea Wall. + +Quietly, quietly, all the lines of the plan of the great Castle +melted one after another. Quietly, quietly, the ruled and cross-ruled +countenance on which they were traced, became fair and blank. +Quietly, quietly, the reflected marks of the prison bars and of the +zig-zag iron on the wall-top, faded away. Quietly, quietly, the face +subsided into a far younger likeness of her own than she had ever seen +under the grey hair, and sank to rest. + +At first her uncle was stark distracted. 'O my brother! O William, +William! You to go before me; you to go alone; you to go, and I to +remain! You, so far superior, so distinguished, so noble; I, a poor +useless creature fit for nothing, and whom no one would have missed!' + +It did her, for the time, the good of having him to think of and to +succour. + +'Uncle, dear uncle, spare yourself, spare me!' + +The old man was not deaf to the last words. When he did begin to +restrain himself, it was that he might spare her. He had no care for +himself; but, with all the remaining power of the honest heart, stunned +so long and now awaking to be broken, he honoured and blessed her. + +'O God,' he cried, before they left the room, with his wrinkled hands +clasped over her. 'Thou seest this daughter of my dear dead brother! All +that I have looked upon, with my half-blind and sinful eyes, Thou hast +discerned clearly, brightly. Not a hair of her head shall be harmed +before Thee. Thou wilt uphold her here to her last hour. And I know Thou +wilt reward her hereafter!' + +They remained in a dim room near, until it was almost midnight, quiet +and sad together. At times his grief would seek relief in a burst like +that in which it had found its earliest expression; but, besides that +his little strength would soon have been unequal to such strains, he +never failed to recall her words, and to reproach himself and calm +himself. The only utterance with which he indulged his sorrow, was the +frequent exclamation that his brother was gone, alone; that they had +been together in the outset of their lives, that they had fallen into +misfortune together, that they had kept together through their many +years of poverty, that they had remained together to that day; and that +his brother was gone alone, alone! + +They parted, heavy and sorrowful. She would not consent to leave him +anywhere but in his own room, and she saw him lie down in his clothes +upon his bed, and covered him with her own hands. Then she sank upon her +own bed, and fell into a deep sleep: the sleep of exhaustion and +rest, though not of complete release from a pervading consciousness of +affliction. Sleep, good Little Dorrit. Sleep through the night! + +It was a moonlight night; but the moon rose late, being long past the +full. When it was high in the peaceful firmament, it shone through +half-closed lattice blinds into the solemn room where the stumblings and +wanderings of a life had so lately ended. Two quiet figures were within +the room; two figures, equally still and impassive, equally removed +by an untraversable distance from the teeming earth and all that it +contains, though soon to lie in it. + +One figure reposed upon the bed. The other, kneeling on the floor, +drooped over it; the arms easily and peacefully resting on the coverlet; +the face bowed down, so that the lips touched the hand over which with +its last breath it had bent. The two brothers were before their Father; +far beyond the twilight judgment of this world; high above its mists and +obscurities. + + + + +CHAPTER 20. Introduces the next + + +The passengers were landing from the packet on the pier at Calais. +A low-lying place and a low-spirited place Calais was, with the tide +ebbing out towards low water-mark. There had been no more water on the +bar than had sufficed to float the packet in; and now the bar itself, +with a shallow break of sea over it, looked like a lazy marine monster +just risen to the surface, whose form was indistinctly shown as it lay +asleep. The meagre lighthouse all in white, haunting the seaboard as if +it were the ghost of an edifice that had once had colour and rotundity, +dropped melancholy tears after its late buffeting by the waves. The long +rows of gaunt black piles, slimy and wet and weather-worn, with funeral +garlands of seaweed twisted about them by the late tide, might +have represented an unsightly marine cemetery. Every wave-dashed, +storm-beaten object, was so low and so little, under the broad grey sky, +in the noise of the wind and sea, and before the curling lines of surf, +making at it ferociously, that the wonder was there was any Calais left, +and that its low gates and low wall and low roofs and low ditches and +low sand-hills and low ramparts and flat streets, had not yielded +long ago to the undermining and besieging sea, like the fortifications +children make on the sea-shore. + +After slipping among oozy piles and planks, stumbling up wet steps and +encountering many salt difficulties, the passengers entered on their +comfortless peregrination along the pier; where all the French vagabonds +and English outlaws in the town (half the population) attended to +prevent their recovery from bewilderment. After being minutely inspected +by all the English, and claimed and reclaimed and counter-claimed as +prizes by all the French in a hand-to-hand scuffle three quarters of a +mile long, they were at last free to enter the streets, and to make off +in their various directions, hotly pursued. + +Clennam, harassed by more anxieties than one, was among this devoted +band. Having rescued the most defenceless of his compatriots from +situations of great extremity, he now went his way alone, or as nearly +alone as he could be, with a native gentleman in a suit of grease and +a cap of the same material, giving chase at a distance of some fifty +yards, and continually calling after him, 'Hi! Ice-say! You! Seer! +Ice-say! Nice Oatel!' + +Even this hospitable person, however, was left behind at last, and +Clennam pursued his way, unmolested. There was a tranquil air in the +town after the turbulence of the Channel and the beach, and its dulness +in that comparison was agreeable. He met new groups of his countrymen, +who had all a straggling air of having at one time overblown themselves, +like certain uncomfortable kinds of flowers, and of being now mere +weeds. They had all an air, too, of lounging out a limited round, day +after day, which strongly reminded him of the Marshalsea. But, taking +no further note of them than was sufficient to give birth to the +reflection, he sought out a certain street and number which he kept in +his mind. + +'So Pancks said,' he murmured to himself, as he stopped before a dull +house answering to the address. 'I suppose his information to be correct +and his discovery, among Mr Casby's loose papers, indisputable; but, +without it, I should hardly have supposed this to be a likely place.' + +A dead sort of house, with a dead wall over the way and a dead gateway +at the side, where a pendant bell-handle produced two dead tinkles, and +a knocker produced a dead, flat, surface-tapping, that seemed not to +have depth enough in it to penetrate even the cracked door. However, the +door jarred open on a dead sort of spring; and he closed it behind him +as he entered a dull yard, soon brought to a close by another dead wall, +where an attempt had been made to train some creeping shrubs, which were +dead; and to make a little fountain in a grotto, which was dry; and to +decorate that with a little statue, which was gone. + +The entry to the house was on the left, and it was garnished as the +outer gateway was, with two printed bills in French and English, +announcing Furnished Apartments to let, with immediate possession. A +strong cheerful peasant woman, all stocking, petticoat, white cap, and +ear-ring, stood here in a dark doorway, and said with a pleasant show of +teeth, 'Ice-say! Seer! Who?' + +Clennam, replying in French, said the English lady; he wished to see +the English lady. 'Enter then and ascend, if you please,' returned the +peasant woman, in French likewise. He did both, and followed her up a +dark bare staircase to a back room on the first-floor. Hence, there was +a gloomy view of the yard that was dull, and of the shrubs that were +dead, and of the fountain that was dry, and of the pedestal of the +statue that was gone. + +'Monsieur Blandois,' said Clennam. + +'With pleasure, Monsieur.' + +Thereupon the woman withdrew and left him to look at the room. It was +the pattern of room always to be found in such a house. Cool, dull, and +dark. Waxed floor very slippery. A room not large enough to skate in; +nor adapted to the easy pursuit of any other occupation. Red and +white curtained windows, little straw mat, little round table with a +tumultuous assemblage of legs underneath, clumsy rush-bottomed chairs, +two great red velvet arm-chairs affording plenty of space to be +uncomfortable in, bureau, chimney-glass in several pieces pretending to +be in one piece, pair of gaudy vases of very artificial flowers; between +them a Greek warrior with his helmet off, sacrificing a clock to the +Genius of France. + +After some pause, a door of communication with another room was opened, +and a lady entered. She manifested great surprise on seeing Clennam, and +her glance went round the room in search of some one else. + +'Pardon me, Miss Wade. I am alone.' + +'It was not your name that was brought to me.' + +'No; I know that. Excuse me. I have already had experience that my name +does not predispose you to an interview; and I ventured to mention the +name of one I am in search of.' + +'Pray,' she returned, motioning him to a chair so coldly that he +remained standing, 'what name was it that you gave?' + +'I mentioned the name of Blandois.' + +'Blandois?' + +'A name you are acquainted with.' + +'It is strange,' she said, frowning, 'that you should still press an +undesired interest in me and my acquaintances, in me and my affairs, Mr +Clennam. I don't know what you mean.' + +'Pardon me. You know the name?' + +'What can you have to do with the name? What can I have to do with the +name? What can you have to do with my knowing or not knowing any name? +I know many names and I have forgotten many more. This may be in the +one class, or it may be in the other, or I may never have heard it. I am +acquainted with no reason for examining myself, or for being examined, +about it.' + +'If you will allow me,' said Clennam, 'I will tell you my reason for +pressing the subject. I admit that I do press it, and I must beg you to +forgive me if I do so, very earnestly. The reason is all mine, I do not +insinuate that it is in any way yours.' + +'Well, sir,' she returned, repeating a little less haughtily than before +her former invitation to him to be seated: to which he now deferred, as +she seated herself. 'I am at least glad to know that this is not another +bondswoman of some friend of yours, who is bereft of free choice, and +whom I have spirited away. I will hear your reason, if you please.' + +'First, to identify the person of whom we speak,' said Clennam, 'let me +observe that it is the person you met in London some time back. You will +remember meeting him near the river--in the Adelphi!' + +'You mix yourself most unaccountably with my business,' she replied, +looking full at him with stern displeasure. 'How do you know that?' + +'I entreat you not to take it ill. By mere accident.' + +'What accident?' + +'Solely the accident of coming upon you in the street and seeing the +meeting.' + +'Do you speak of yourself, or of some one else?' + +'Of myself. I saw it.' + +'To be sure it was in the open street,' she observed, after a few +moments of less and less angry reflection. 'Fifty people might have seen +it. It would have signified nothing if they had.' + +'Nor do I make my having seen it of any moment, nor (otherwise than as +an explanation of my coming here) do I connect my visit with it or the +favour that I have to ask.' + +'Oh! You have to ask a favour! It occurred to me,' and the handsome face +looked bitterly at him, 'that your manner was softened, Mr Clennam.' + +He was content to protest against this by a slight action without +contesting it in words. He then referred to Blandois' disappearance, of +which it was probable she had heard? However probable it was to him, she +had heard of no such thing. Let him look round him (she said) and judge +for himself what general intelligence was likely to reach the ears of +a woman who had been shut up there while it was rife, devouring her own +heart. When she had uttered this denial, which he believed to be true, +she asked him what he meant by disappearance? That led to his narrating +the circumstances in detail, and expressing something of his anxiety +to discover what had really become of the man, and to repel the dark +suspicions that clouded about his mother's house. She heard him with +evident surprise, and with more marks of suppressed interest than he +had seen in her; still they did not overcome her distant, proud, and +self-secluded manner. When he had finished, she said nothing but these +words: + +'You have not yet told me, sir, what I have to do with it, or what the +favour is? Will you be so good as come to that?' + +'I assume,' said Arthur, persevering, in his endeavour to soften +her scornful demeanour, 'that being in communication--may I say, +confidential communication?--with this person--' + +'You may say, of course, whatever you like,' she remarked; 'but I do not +subscribe to your assumptions, Mr Clennam, or to any one's.' + +'--that being, at least in personal communication with him,' said +Clennam, changing the form of his position in the hope of making +it unobjectionable, 'you can tell me something of his antecedents, +pursuits, habits, usual place of residence. Can give me some little clue +by which to seek him out in the likeliest manner, and either produce +him, or establish what has become of him. This is the favour I ask, +and I ask it in a distress of mind for which I hope you will feel some +consideration. If you should have any reason for imposing conditions +upon me, I will respect it without asking what it is.' + +'You chanced to see me in the street with the man,' she observed, +after being, to his mortification, evidently more occupied with her own +reflections on the matter than with his appeal. 'Then you knew the man +before?' + +'Not before; afterwards. I never saw him before, but I saw him again on +this very night of his disappearance. In my mother's room, in fact. I +left him there. You will read in this paper all that is known of him.' + +He handed her one of the printed bills, which she read with a steady and +attentive face. + +'This is more than _I_ knew of him,' she said, giving it back. +Clennam's looks expressed his heavy disappointment, perhaps his +incredulity; for she added in the same unsympathetic tone: 'You don't +believe it. Still, it is so. As to personal communication: it seems that +there was personal communication between him and your mother. And yet +you say you believe _her_ declaration that she knows no more of him!' + +A sufficiently expressive hint of suspicion was conveyed in these words, +and in the smile by which they were accompanied, to bring the blood into +Clennam's cheeks. + +'Come, sir,' she said, with a cruel pleasure in repeating the stab, 'I +will be as open with you as you can desire. I will confess that if I +cared for my credit (which I do not), or had a good name to preserve +(which I have not, for I am utterly indifferent to its being considered +good or bad), I should regard myself as heavily compromised by having +had anything to do with this fellow. Yet he never passed in at _my_ +door--never sat in colloquy with _me_ until midnight.' + +She took her revenge for her old grudge in thus turning his subject +against him. Hers was not the nature to spare him, and she had no +compunction. + +'That he is a low, mercenary wretch; that I first saw him prowling about +Italy (where I was, not long ago), and that I hired him there, as the +suitable instrument of a purpose I happened to have; I have no objection +to tell you. In short, it was worth my while, for my own pleasure--the +gratification of a strong feeling--to pay a spy who would fetch and +carry for money. I paid this creature. And I dare say that if I had +wanted to make such a bargain, and if I could have paid him enough, and +if he could have done it in the dark, free from all risk, he would have +taken any life with as little scruple as he took my money. That, at +least, is my opinion of him; and I see it is not very far removed from +yours. Your mother's opinion of him, I am to assume (following your +example of assuming this and that), was vastly different.' + +'My mother, let me remind you,' said Clennam, 'was first brought into +communication with him in the unlucky course of business.' + +'It appears to have been an unlucky course of business that last brought +her into communication with him,' returned Miss Wade; 'and business +hours on that occasion were late.' + +'You imply,' said Arthur, smarting under these cool-handed thrusts, of +which he had deeply felt the force already, 'that there was something--' + +'Mr Clennam,' she composedly interrupted, 'recollect that I do not speak +by implication about the man. He is, I say again without disguise, a low +mercenary wretch. I suppose such a creature goes where there is occasion +for him. If I had not had occasion for him, you would not have seen him +and me together.' + +Wrung by her persistence in keeping that dark side of the case before +him, of which there was a half-hidden shadow in his own breast, Clennam +was silent. + +'I have spoken of him as still living,' she added, 'but he may have been +put out of the way for anything I know. For anything I care, also. I +have no further occasion for him.' + +With a heavy sigh and a despondent air, Arthur Clennam slowly rose. +She did not rise also, but said, having looked at him in the meanwhile +with a fixed look of suspicion, and lips angrily compressed: + +'He was the chosen associate of your dear friend, Mr Gowan, was he not? +Why don't you ask your dear friend to help you?' + +The denial that he was a dear friend rose to Arthur's lips; but he +repressed it, remembering his old struggles and resolutions, and said: + +'Further than that he has never seen Blandois since Blandois set out for +England, Mr Gowan knows nothing additional about him. He was a chance +acquaintance, made abroad.' + +'A chance acquaintance made abroad!' she repeated. 'Yes. Your dear +friend has need to divert himself with all the acquaintances he can +make, seeing what a wife he has. I hate his wife, sir.' + +The anger with which she said it, the more remarkable for being so much +under her restraint, fixed Clennam's attention, and kept him on the +spot. It flashed out of her dark eyes as they regarded him, quivered in +her nostrils, and fired the very breath she exhaled; but her face was +otherwise composed into a disdainful serenity; and her attitude was as +calmly and haughtily graceful as if she had been in a mood of complete +indifference. + +'All I will say is, Miss Wade,' he remarked, 'that you can have received +no provocation to a feeling in which I believe you have no sharer.' + +'You may ask your dear friend, if you choose,' she returned, 'for his +opinion upon that subject.' + +'I am scarcely on those intimate terms with my dear friend,' said +Arthur, in spite of his resolutions, 'that would render my approaching +the subject very probable, Miss Wade.' + +'I hate him,' she returned. 'Worse than his wife, because I was once +dupe enough, and false enough to myself, almost to love him. You have +seen me, sir, only on common-place occasions, when I dare say you have +thought me a common-place woman, a little more self-willed than the +generality. You don't know what I mean by hating, if you know me no +better than that; you can't know, without knowing with what care I have +studied myself and people about me. For this reason I have for some +time inclined to tell you what my life has been--not to propitiate your +opinion, for I set no value on it; but that you may comprehend, when +you think of your dear friend and his dear wife, what I mean by hating. +Shall I give you something I have written and put by for your perusal, +or shall I hold my hand?' + +Arthur begged her to give it to him. She went to the bureau, unlocked +it, and took from an inner drawer a few folded sheets of paper. Without +any conciliation of him, scarcely addressing him, rather speaking as if +she were speaking to her own looking-glass for the justification of her +own stubbornness, she said, as she gave them to him: + +'Now you may know what I mean by hating! No more of that. Sir, whether +you find me temporarily and cheaply lodging in an empty London house, or +in a Calais apartment, you find Harriet with me. You may like to see +her before you leave. Harriet, come in!' She called Harriet again. The +second call produced Harriet, once Tattycoram. + +'Here is Mr Clennam,' said Miss Wade; 'not come for you; he has given +you up,--I suppose you have, by this time?' + +'Having no authority, or influence--yes,' assented Clennam. + +'Not come in search of you, you see; but still seeking some one. He +wants that Blandois man.' + +'With whom I saw you in the Strand in London,' hinted Arthur. + +'If you know anything of him, Harriet, except that he came from +Venice--which we all know--tell it to Mr Clennam freely.' + +'I know nothing more about him,' said the girl. + +'Are you satisfied?' Miss Wade inquired of Arthur. + +He had no reason to disbelieve them; the girl's manner being so natural +as to be almost convincing, if he had had any previous doubts. He +replied, 'I must seek for intelligence elsewhere.' + +He was not going in the same breath; but he had risen before the girl +entered, and she evidently thought he was. She looked quickly at him, +and said: + +'Are they well, sir?' + +'Who?' + +She stopped herself in saying what would have been 'all of them;' +glanced at Miss Wade; and said 'Mr and Mrs Meagles.' + +'They were, when I last heard of them. They are not at home. By the way, +let me ask you. Is it true that you were seen there?' + +'Where? Where does any one say I was seen?' returned the girl, sullenly +casting down her eyes. + +'Looking in at the garden gate of the cottage.' + +'No,' said Miss Wade. 'She has never been near it.' + +'You are wrong, then,' said the girl. 'I went down there the last time +we were in London. I went one afternoon when you left me alone. And I +did look in.' + +'You poor-spirited girl,' returned Miss Wade with infinite contempt; +'does all our companionship, do all our conversations, do all your old +complainings, tell for so little as that?' + +'There was no harm in looking in at the gate for an instant,' said the +girl. 'I saw by the windows that the family were not there.' + +'Why should you go near the place?' + +'Because I wanted to see it. Because I felt that I should like to look +at it again.' + +As each of the two handsome faces looked at the other, Clennam felt how +each of the two natures must be constantly tearing the other to pieces. + +'Oh!' said Miss Wade, coldly subduing and removing her glance; 'if you +had any desire to see the place where you led the life from which I +rescued you because you had found out what it was, that is another +thing. But is that your truth to me? Is that your fidelity to me? Is +that the common cause I make with you? You are not worth the confidence +I have placed in you. You are not worth the favour I have shown you. You +are no higher than a spaniel, and had better go back to the people who +did worse than whip you.' + +'If you speak so of them with any one else by to hear, you'll provoke me +to take their part,' said the girl. + +'Go back to them,' Miss Wade retorted. 'Go back to them.' + +'You know very well,' retorted Harriet in her turn, 'that I won't go +back to them. You know very well that I have thrown them off, and never +can, never shall, never will, go back to them. Let them alone, then, +Miss Wade.' + +'You prefer their plenty to your less fat living here,' she rejoined. +'You exalt them, and slight me. What else should I have expected? I +ought to have known it.' + +'It's not so,' said the girl, flushing high, 'and you don't say what you +mean. I know what you mean. You are reproaching me, underhanded, with +having nobody but you to look to. And because I have nobody but you +to look to, you think you are to make me do, or not do, everything you +please, and are to put any affront upon me. You are as bad as they were, +every bit. But I will not be quite tamed, and made submissive. I will +say again that I went to look at the house, because I had often thought +that I should like to see it once more. I will ask again how they are, +because I once liked them and at times thought they were kind to me.' + +Hereupon Clennam said that he was sure they would still receive her +kindly, if she should ever desire to return. + +'Never!' said the girl passionately. 'I shall never do that. Nobody +knows that better than Miss Wade, though she taunts me because she has +made me her dependent. And I know I am so; and I know she is overjoyed +when she can bring it to my mind.' + +'A good pretence!' said Miss Wade, with no less anger, haughtiness, and +bitterness; 'but too threadbare to cover what I plainly see in this. My +poverty will not bear competition with their money. Better go back at +once, better go back at once, and have done with it!' + +Arthur Clennam looked at them, standing a little distance asunder in the +dull confined room, each proudly cherishing her own anger; each, with +a fixed determination, torturing her own breast, and torturing the +other's. He said a word or two of leave-taking; but Miss Wade barely +inclined her head, and Harriet, with the assumed humiliation of an +abject dependent and serf (but not without defiance for all that), made +as if she were too low to notice or to be noticed. + +He came down the dark winding stairs into the yard with an increased +sense upon him of the gloom of the wall that was dead, and of the shrubs +that were dead, and of the fountain that was dry, and of the statue that +was gone. Pondering much on what he had seen and heard in that house, +as well as on the failure of all his efforts to trace the suspicious +character who was lost, he returned to London and to England by the +packet that had taken him over. On the way he unfolded the sheets of +paper, and read in them what is reproduced in the next chapter. + + + + +CHAPTER 21. The History of a Self-Tormentor + + +I have the misfortune of not being a fool. From a very early age I have +detected what those about me thought they hid from me. If I could have +been habitually imposed upon, instead of habitually discerning the +truth, I might have lived as smoothly as most fools do. + +My childhood was passed with a grandmother; that is to say, with a lady +who represented that relative to me, and who took that title on herself. +She had no claim to it, but I--being to that extent a little fool--had +no suspicion of her. She had some children of her own family in her +house, and some children of other people. All girls; ten in number, +including me. We all lived together and were educated together. + +I must have been about twelve years old when I began to see how +determinedly those girls patronised me. I was told I was an orphan. +There was no other orphan among us; and I perceived (here was the +first disadvantage of not being a fool) that they conciliated me in an +insolent pity, and in a sense of superiority. I did not set this down +as a discovery, rashly. I tried them often. I could hardly make them +quarrel with me. When I succeeded with any of them, they were sure to +come after an hour or two, and begin a reconciliation. I tried them over +and over again, and I never knew them wait for me to begin. They were +always forgiving me, in their vanity and condescension. Little images of +grown people! + +One of them was my chosen friend. I loved that stupid mite in a +passionate way that she could no more deserve than I can remember +without feeling ashamed of, though I was but a child. She had what they +called an amiable temper, an affectionate temper. She could distribute, +and did distribute pretty looks and smiles to every one among them. I +believe there was not a soul in the place, except myself, who knew that +she did it purposely to wound and gall me! + +Nevertheless, I so loved that unworthy girl that my life was made stormy +by my fondness for her. I was constantly lectured and disgraced for what +was called 'trying her;' in other words charging her with her little +perfidy and throwing her into tears by showing her that I read her +heart. However, I loved her faithfully; and one time I went home with +her for the holidays. + +She was worse at home than she had been at school. She had a crowd of +cousins and acquaintances, and we had dances at her house, and went out +to dances at other houses, and, both at home and out, she tormented my +love beyond endurance. Her plan was, to make them all fond of her--and +so drive me wild with jealousy. To be familiar and endearing with them +all--and so make me mad with envying them. When we were left alone in +our bedroom at night, I would reproach her with my perfect knowledge of +her baseness; and then she would cry and cry and say I was cruel, and +then I would hold her in my arms till morning: loving her as much as +ever, and often feeling as if, rather than suffer so, I could so hold +her in my arms and plunge to the bottom of a river--where I would still +hold her after we were both dead. + +It came to an end, and I was relieved. In the family there was an aunt +who was not fond of me. I doubt if any of the family liked me much; but +I never wanted them to like me, being altogether bound up in the one +girl. The aunt was a young woman, and she had a serious way with her +eyes of watching me. She was an audacious woman, and openly looked +compassionately at me. After one of the nights that I have spoken of, I +came down into a greenhouse before breakfast. Charlotte (the name of +my false young friend) had gone down before me, and I heard this aunt +speaking to her about me as I entered. I stopped where I was, among the +leaves, and listened. + +The aunt said, 'Charlotte, Miss Wade is wearing you to death, and this +must not continue.' I repeat the very words I heard. + +Now, what did she answer? Did she say, 'It is I who am wearing her to +death, I who am keeping her on a rack and am the executioner, yet she +tells me every night that she loves me devotedly, though she knows what +I make her undergo?' No; my first memorable experience was true to +what I knew her to be, and to all my experience. She began sobbing and +weeping (to secure the aunt's sympathy to herself), and said, 'Dear +aunt, she has an unhappy temper; other girls at school, besides I, try +hard to make it better; we all try hard.' + +Upon that the aunt fondled her, as if she had said something noble +instead of despicable and false, and kept up the infamous pretence by +replying, 'But there are reasonable limits, my dear love, to everything, +and I see that this poor miserable girl causes you more constant and +useless distress than even so good an effort justifies.' + +The poor miserable girl came out of her concealment, as you may be +prepared to hear, and said, 'Send me home.' I never said another word +to either of them, or to any of them, but 'Send me home, or I will +walk home alone, night and day!' When I got home, I told my supposed +grandmother that, unless I was sent away to finish my education +somewhere else before that girl came back, or before any one of them +came back, I would burn my sight away by throwing myself into the fire, +rather than I would endure to look at their plotting faces. + +I went among young women next, and I found them no better. Fair +words and fair pretences; but I penetrated below those assertions of +themselves and depreciations of me, and they were no better. Before +I left them, I learned that I had no grandmother and no recognised +relation. I carried the light of that information both into my past +and into my future. It showed me many new occasions on which people +triumphed over me, when they made a pretence of treating me with +consideration, or doing me a service. + +A man of business had a small property in trust for me. I was to be +a governess; I became a governess; and went into the family of a poor +nobleman, where there were two daughters--little children, but the +parents wished them to grow up, if possible, under one instructress. The +mother was young and pretty. From the first, she made a show of behaving +to me with great delicacy. I kept my resentment to myself; but I knew +very well that it was her way of petting the knowledge that she was my +Mistress, and might have behaved differently to her servant if it had +been her fancy. + +I say I did not resent it, nor did I; but I showed her, by not +gratifying her, that I understood her. When she pressed me to take wine, +I took water. If there happened to be anything choice at table, she +always sent it to me: but I always declined it, and ate of the rejected +dishes. These disappointments of her patronage were a sharp retort, and +made me feel independent. + +I liked the children. They were timid, but on the whole disposed to +attach themselves to me. There was a nurse, however, in the house, a +rosy-faced woman always making an obtrusive pretence of being gay and +good-humoured, who had nursed them both, and who had secured their +affections before I saw them. I could almost have settled down to my +fate but for this woman. Her artful devices for keeping herself before +the children in constant competition with me, might have blinded many +in my place; but I saw through them from the first. On the pretext of +arranging my rooms and waiting on me and taking care of my wardrobe (all +of which she did busily), she was never absent. The most crafty of her +many subtleties was her feint of seeking to make the children fonder of +me. She would lead them to me and coax them to me. 'Come to good Miss +Wade, come to dear Miss Wade, come to pretty Miss Wade. She loves you +very much. Miss Wade is a clever lady, who has read heaps of books, and +can tell you far better and more interesting stories than I know. Come +and hear Miss Wade!' How could I engage their attentions, when my heart +was burning against these ignorant designs? How could I wonder, when I +saw their innocent faces shrinking away, and their arms twining round +her neck, instead of mine? Then she would look up at me, shaking their +curls from her face, and say, 'They'll come round soon, Miss Wade; +they're very simple and loving, ma'am; don't be at all cast down about +it, ma'am'--exulting over me! + +There was another thing the woman did. At times, when she saw that she +had safely plunged me into a black despondent brooding by these means, +she would call the attention of the children to it, and would show them +the difference between herself and me. 'Hush! Poor Miss Wade is not +well. Don't make a noise, my dears, her head aches. Come and comfort +her. Come and ask her if she is better; come and ask her to lie down. I +hope you have nothing on your mind, ma'am. Don't take on, ma'am, and be +sorry!' + +It became intolerable. Her ladyship, my Mistress, coming in one day when +I was alone, and at the height of feeling that I could support it no +longer, I told her I must go. I could not bear the presence of that +woman Dawes. + +'Miss Wade! Poor Dawes is devoted to you; would do anything for you!' + +I knew beforehand she would say so; I was quite prepared for it; I only +answered, it was not for me to contradict my Mistress; I must go. + +'I hope, Miss Wade,' she returned, instantly assuming the tone of +superiority she had always so thinly concealed, 'that nothing I have +ever said or done since we have been together, has justified your use of +that disagreeable word, "Mistress." It must have been wholly inadvertent +on my part. Pray tell me what it is.' + +I replied that I had no complaint to make, either of my Mistress or to +my Mistress; but I must go. + +She hesitated a moment, and then sat down beside me, and laid her hand +on mine. As if that honour would obliterate any remembrance! + +'Miss Wade, I fear you are unhappy, through causes over which I have no +influence.' + +I smiled, thinking of the experience the word awakened, and said, 'I +have an unhappy temper, I suppose.' + +'I did not say that.' + +'It is an easy way of accounting for anything,' said I. + +'It may be; but I did not say so. What I wish to approach is something +very different. My husband and I have exchanged some remarks upon the +subject, when we have observed with pain that you have not been easy +with us.' + +'Easy? Oh! You are such great people, my lady,' said I. + +'I am unfortunate in using a word which may convey a meaning--and +evidently does--quite opposite to my intention.' (She had not expected +my reply, and it shamed her.) 'I only mean, not happy with us. It is +a difficult topic to enter on; but, from one young woman to another, +perhaps--in short, we have been apprehensive that you may allow some +family circumstances of which no one can be more innocent than yourself, +to prey upon your spirits. If so, let us entreat you not to make them +a cause of grief. My husband himself, as is well known, formerly had a +very dear sister who was not in law his sister, but who was universally +beloved and respected--' + +I saw directly that they had taken me in for the sake of the dead woman, +whoever she was, and to have that boast of me and advantage of me; I +saw, in the nurse's knowledge of it, an encouragement to goad me as +she had done; and I saw, in the children's shrinking away, a vague +impression, that I was not like other people. I left that house that +night. + +After one or two short and very similar experiences, which are not to +the present purpose, I entered another family where I had but one pupil: +a girl of fifteen, who was the only daughter. The parents here were +elderly people: people of station, and rich. A nephew whom they had +brought up was a frequent visitor at the house, among many other +visitors; and he began to pay me attention. I was resolute in repulsing +him; for I had determined when I went there, that no one should pity me +or condescend to me. But he wrote me a letter. It led to our being +engaged to be married. + +He was a year younger than I, and young-looking even when that allowance +was made. He was on absence from India, where he had a post that was +soon to grow into a very good one. In six months we were to be married, +and were to go to India. I was to stay in the house, and was to be +married from the house. Nobody objected to any part of the plan. + +I cannot avoid saying he admired me; but, if I could, I would. Vanity +has nothing to do with the declaration, for his admiration worried me. +He took no pains to hide it; and caused me to feel among the rich people +as if he had bought me for my looks, and made a show of his purchase to +justify himself. They appraised me in their own minds, I saw, and were +curious to ascertain what my full value was. I resolved that they +should not know. I was immovable and silent before them; and would have +suffered any one of them to kill me sooner than I would have laid myself +out to bespeak their approval. + +He told me I did not do myself justice. I told him I did, and it was +because I did and meant to do so to the last, that I would not stoop to +propitiate any of them. He was concerned and even shocked, when I added +that I wished he would not parade his attachment before them; but he +said he would sacrifice even the honest impulses of his affection to my +peace. + +Under that pretence he began to retort upon me. By the hour together, he +would keep at a distance from me, talking to any one rather than to me. +I have sat alone and unnoticed, half an evening, while he conversed with +his young cousin, my pupil. I have seen all the while, in people's eyes, +that they thought the two looked nearer on an equality than he and I. +I have sat, divining their thoughts, until I have felt that his young +appearance made me ridiculous, and have raged against myself for ever +loving him. + +For I did love him once. Undeserving as he was, and little as he thought +of all these agonies that it cost me--agonies which should have made him +wholly and gratefully mine to his life's end--I loved him. I bore with +his cousin's praising him to my face, and with her pretending to think +that it pleased me, but full well knowing that it rankled in my breast; +for his sake. While I have sat in his presence recalling all my slights +and wrongs, and deliberating whether I should not fly from the house at +once and never see him again--I have loved him. + +His aunt (my Mistress you will please to remember) deliberately, +wilfully, added to my trials and vexations. It was her delight to +expatiate on the style in which we were to live in India, and on the +establishment we should keep, and the company we should entertain when +he got his advancement. My pride rose against this barefaced way of +pointing out the contrast my married life was to present to my then +dependent and inferior position. I suppressed my indignation; but I +showed her that her intention was not lost upon me, and I repaid her +annoyance by affecting humility. What she described would surely be +a great deal too much honour for me, I would tell her. I was afraid +I might not be able to support so great a change. Think of a mere +governess, her daughter's governess, coming to that high distinction! It +made her uneasy, and made them all uneasy, when I answered in this way. +They knew that I fully understood her. + +It was at the time when my troubles were at their highest, and when +I was most incensed against my lover for his ingratitude in caring as +little as he did for the innumerable distresses and mortifications I +underwent on his account, that your dear friend, Mr Gowan, appeared +at the house. He had been intimate there for a long time, but had been +abroad. He understood the state of things at a glance, and he understood +me. + +He was the first person I had ever seen in my life who had understood +me. He was not in the house three times before I knew that he +accompanied every movement of my mind. In his coldly easy way with all +of them, and with me, and with the whole subject, I saw it clearly. +In his light protestations of admiration of my future husband, in his +enthusiasm regarding our engagement and our prospects, in his hopeful +congratulations on our future wealth and his despondent references to +his own poverty--all equally hollow, and jesting, and full of mockery--I +saw it clearly. He made me feel more and more resentful, and more and +more contemptible, by always presenting to me everything that surrounded +me with some new hateful light upon it, while he pretended to exhibit +it in its best aspect for my admiration and his own. He was like the +dressed-up Death in the Dutch series; whatever figure he took upon his +arm, whether it was youth or age, beauty or ugliness, whether he danced +with it, sang with it, played with it, or prayed with it, he made it +ghastly. + +You will understand, then, that when your dear friend complimented me, +he really condoled with me; that when he soothed me under my vexations, +he laid bare every smarting wound I had; that when he declared my +'faithful swain' to be 'the most loving young fellow in the world, with +the tenderest heart that ever beat,' he touched my old misgiving that +I was made ridiculous. These were not great services, you may say. They +were acceptable to me, because they echoed my own mind, and confirmed +my own knowledge. I soon began to like the society of your dear friend +better than any other. + +When I perceived (which I did, almost as soon) that jealousy was growing +out of this, I liked this society still better. Had I not been subject +to jealousy, and were the endurances to be all mine? No. Let him know +what it was! I was delighted that he should know it; I was delighted +that he should feel keenly, and I hoped he did. More than that. He was +tame in comparison with Mr Gowan, who knew how to address me on equal +terms, and how to anatomise the wretched people around us. + +This went on, until the aunt, my Mistress, took it upon herself to speak +to me. It was scarcely worth alluding to; she knew I meant nothing; but +she suggested from herself, knowing it was only necessary to suggest, +that it might be better if I were a little less companionable with Mr +Gowan. + +I asked her how she could answer for what I meant? She could always +answer, she replied, for my meaning nothing wrong. I thanked her, +but said I would prefer to answer for myself and to myself. Her other +servants would probably be grateful for good characters, but I wanted +none. + +Other conversation followed, and induced me to ask her how she knew that +it was only necessary for her to make a suggestion to me, to have it +obeyed? Did she presume on my birth, or on my hire? I was not bought, +body and soul. She seemed to think that her distinguished nephew had +gone into a slave-market and purchased a wife. + +It would probably have come, sooner or later, to the end to which it did +come, but she brought it to its issue at once. She told me, with assumed +commiseration, that I had an unhappy temper. On this repetition of the +old wicked injury, I withheld no longer, but exposed to her all I had +known of her and seen in her, and all I had undergone within myself +since I had occupied the despicable position of being engaged to her +nephew. I told her that Mr Gowan was the only relief I had had in my +degradation; that I had borne it too long, and that I shook it off too +late; but that I would see none of them more. And I never did. + +Your dear friend followed me to my retreat, and was very droll on the +severance of the connection; though he was sorry, too, for the excellent +people (in their way the best he had ever met), and deplored the +necessity of breaking mere house-flies on the wheel. He protested before +long, and far more truly than I then supposed, that he was not worth +acceptance by a woman of such endowments, and such power of character; +but--well, well--! + +Your dear friend amused me and amused himself as long as it suited +his inclinations; and then reminded me that we were both people of the +world, that we both understood mankind, that we both knew there was no +such thing as romance, that we were both prepared for going different +ways to seek our fortunes like people of sense, and that we both foresaw +that whenever we encountered one another again we should meet as the +best friends on earth. So he said, and I did not contradict him. + +It was not very long before I found that he was courting his present +wife, and that she had been taken away to be out of his reach. I hated +her then, quite as much as I hate her now; and naturally, therefore, +could desire nothing better than that she should marry him. But I was +restlessly curious to look at her--so curious that I felt it to be one +of the few sources of entertainment left to me. I travelled a little: +travelled until I found myself in her society, and in yours. Your dear +friend, I think, was not known to you then, and had not given you any of +those signal marks of his friendship which he has bestowed upon you. + +In that company I found a girl, in various circumstances of whose +position there was a singular likeness to my own, and in whose character +I was interested and pleased to see much of the rising against swollen +patronage and selfishness, calling themselves kindness, protection, +benevolence, and other fine names, which I have described as inherent in +my nature. I often heard it said, too, that she had 'an unhappy temper.' +Well understanding what was meant by the convenient phrase, and wanting +a companion with a knowledge of what I knew, I thought I would try to +release the girl from her bondage and sense of injustice. I have no +occasion to relate that I succeeded. + +We have been together ever since, sharing my small means. + + + + +CHAPTER 22. Who passes by this Road so late? + + +Arthur Clennam had made his unavailing expedition to Calais in the midst +of a great pressure of business. A certain barbaric Power with valuable +possessions on the map of the world, had occasion for the services of +one or two engineers, quick in invention and determined in execution: +practical men, who could make the men and means their ingenuity +perceived to be wanted out of the best materials they could find +at hand; and who were as bold and fertile in the adaptation of such +materials to their purpose, as in the conception of their purpose +itself. This Power, being a barbaric one, had no idea of stowing away +a great national object in a Circumlocution Office, as strong wine is +hidden from the light in a cellar until its fire and youth are gone, +and the labourers who worked in the vineyard and pressed the grapes are +dust. With characteristic ignorance, it acted on the most decided and +energetic notions of How to do it; and never showed the least respect +for, or gave any quarter to, the great political science, How not to do +it. Indeed it had a barbarous way of striking the latter art and mystery +dead, in the person of any enlightened subject who practised it. + +Accordingly, the men who were wanted were sought out and found; which +was in itself a most uncivilised and irregular way of proceeding. Being +found, they were treated with great confidence and honour (which again +showed dense political ignorance), and were invited to come at once and +do what they had to do. In short, they were regarded as men who meant to +do it, engaging with other men who meant it to be done. + +Daniel Doyce was one of the chosen. There was no foreseeing at that time +whether he would be absent months or years. The preparations for his +departure, and the conscientious arrangement for him of all the details +and results of their joint business, had necessitated labour within a +short compass of time, which had occupied Clennam day and night. He +had slipped across the water in his first leisure, and had slipped as +quickly back again for his farewell interview with Doyce. + +Him Arthur now showed, with pains and care, the state of their gains and +losses, responsibilities and prospects. Daniel went through it all +in his patient manner, and admired it all exceedingly. He audited the +accounts, as if they were a far more ingenious piece of mechanism than +he had ever constructed, and afterwards stood looking at them, weighing +his hat over his head by the brims, as if he were absorbed in the +contemplation of some wonderful engine. + +'It's all beautiful, Clennam, in its regularity and order. Nothing can +be plainer. Nothing can be better.' + +'I am glad you approve, Doyce. Now, as to the management of your capital +while you are away, and as to the conversion of so much of it as the +business may need from time to time--' His partner stopped him. + +'As to that, and as to everything else of that kind, all rests with you. +You will continue in all such matters to act for both of us, as you +have done hitherto, and to lighten my mind of a load it is much relieved +from.' + +'Though, as I often tell you,' returned Clennam, 'you unreasonably +depreciate your business qualities.' + +'Perhaps so,' said Doyce, smiling. 'And perhaps not. Anyhow, I have a +calling that I have studied more than such matters, and that I am better +fitted for. I have perfect confidence in my partner, and I am satisfied +that he will do what is best. If I have a prejudice connected with money +and money figures,' continued Doyce, laying that plastic workman's thumb +of his on the lapel of his partner's coat, 'it is against speculating. +I don't think I have any other. I dare say I entertain that prejudice, +only because I have never given my mind fully to the subject.' + +'But you shouldn't call it a prejudice,' said Clennam. 'My dear Doyce, +it is the soundest sense.' + +'I am glad you think so,' returned Doyce, with his grey eye looking kind +and bright. + +'It so happens,' said Clennam, 'that just now, not half an hour before +you came down, I was saying the same thing to Pancks, who looked in +here. We both agreed that to travel out of safe investments is one of +the most dangerous, as it is one of the most common, of those follies +which often deserve the name of vices.' + +'Pancks?' said Doyce, tilting up his hat at the back, and nodding with +an air of confidence. 'Aye, aye, aye! That's a cautious fellow.' + +'He is a very cautious fellow indeed,' returned Arthur. 'Quite a +specimen of caution.' + +They both appeared to derive a larger amount of satisfaction from the +cautious character of Mr Pancks, than was quite intelligible, judged by +the surface of their conversation. + +'And now,' said Daniel, looking at his watch, 'as time and tide wait +for no man, my trusty partner, and as I am ready for starting, bag and +baggage, at the gate below, let me say a last word. I want you to grant +a request of mine.' + +'Any request you can make--Except,' Clennam was quick with his +exception, for his partner's face was quick in suggesting it, 'except +that I will abandon your invention.' + +'That's the request, and you know it is,' said Doyce. + +'I say, No, then. I say positively, No. Now that I have begun, I will +have some definite reason, some responsible statement, something in the +nature of a real answer, from those people.' + +'You will not,' returned Doyce, shaking his head. 'Take my word for it, +you never will.' + +'At least, I'll try,' said Clennam. 'It will do me no harm to try.' + +'I am not certain of that,' rejoined Doyce, laying his hand persuasively +on his shoulder. 'It has done me harm, my friend. It has aged me, tired +me, vexed me, disappointed me. It does no man any good to have his +patience worn out, and to think himself ill-used. I fancy, even already, +that unavailing attendance on delays and evasions has made you something +less elastic than you used to be.' + +'Private anxieties may have done that for the moment,' said Clennam, +'but not official harrying. Not yet. I am not hurt yet.' + +'Then you won't grant my request?' + +'Decidedly, No,' said Clennam. 'I should be ashamed if I submitted to +be so soon driven out of the field, where a much older and a much more +sensitively interested man contended with fortitude so long.' + +As there was no moving him, Daniel Doyce returned the grasp of his hand, +and, casting a farewell look round the counting-house, went down-stairs +with him. Doyce was to go to Southampton to join the small staff of +his fellow-travellers; and a coach was at the gate, well furnished and +packed, and ready to take him there. The workmen were at the gate to see +him off, and were mightily proud of him. 'Good luck to you, Mr Doyce!' +said one of the number. 'Wherever you go, they'll find as they've got a +man among 'em, a man as knows his tools and as his tools knows, a man +as is willing and a man as is able, and if that's not a man, where is +a man!' This oration from a gruff volunteer in the back-ground, not +previously suspected of any powers in that way, was received with three +loud cheers; and the speaker became a distinguished character for ever +afterwards. In the midst of the three loud cheers, Daniel gave them all +a hearty 'Good Bye, Men!' and the coach disappeared from sight, as if +the concussion of the air had blown it out of Bleeding Heart Yard. + +Mr Baptist, as a grateful little fellow in a position of trust, was +among the workmen, and had done as much towards the cheering as a mere +foreigner could. In truth, no men on earth can cheer like Englishmen, +who do so rally one another's blood and spirit when they cheer in +earnest, that the stir is like the rush of their whole history, with all +its standards waving at once, from Saxon Alfred's downwards. Mr Baptist +had been in a manner whirled away before the onset, and was taking his +breath in quite a scared condition when Clennam beckoned him to follow +up-stairs, and return the books and papers to their places. + +In the lull consequent on the departure--in that first vacuity which +ensues on every separation, foreshadowing the great separation that +is always overhanging all mankind--Arthur stood at his desk, looking +dreamily out at a gleam of sun. But his liberated attention soon +reverted to the theme that was foremost in his thoughts, and began, for +the hundredth time, to dwell upon every circumstance that had impressed +itself upon his mind on the mysterious night when he had seen the man at +his mother's. Again the man jostled him in the crooked street, again +he followed the man and lost him, again he came upon the man in the +court-yard looking at the house, again he followed the man and stood +beside him on the door-steps. + + + 'Who passes by this road so late? + Compagnon de la Majolaine; + Who passes by this road so late? + Always gay!' + + +It was not the first time, by many, that he had recalled the song of the +child's game, of which the fellow had hummed this verse while they stood +side by side; but he was so unconscious of having repeated it audibly, +that he started to hear the next verse. + + + 'Of all the king's knights 'tis the flower, + Compagnon de la Majolaine; + Of all the king's knights 'tis the flower, + Always gay!' + + +Cavalletto had deferentially suggested the words and tune, supposing him +to have stopped short for want of more. + +'Ah! You know the song, Cavalletto?' + +'By Bacchus, yes, sir! They all know it in France. I have heard it many +times, sung by the little children. The last time when it I have heard,' +said Mr Baptist, formerly Cavalletto, who usually went back to his +native construction of sentences when his memory went near home, 'is +from a sweet little voice. A little voice, very pretty, very innocent. +Altro!' + +'The last time I heard it,' returned Arthur, 'was in a voice quite the +reverse of pretty, and quite the reverse of innocent.' He said it more +to himself than to his companion, and added to himself, repeating +the man's next words. 'Death of my life, sir, it's my character to be +impatient!' + +'EH!' cried Cavalletto, astounded, and with all his colour gone in a +moment. + +'What is the matter?' + +'Sir! You know where I have heard that song the last time?' + +With his rapid native action, his hands made the outline of a high hook +nose, pushed his eyes near together, dishevelled his hair, puffed out +his upper lip to represent a thick moustache, and threw the heavy end +of an ideal cloak over his shoulder. While doing this, with a swiftness +incredible to one who has not watched an Italian peasant, he indicated a +very remarkable and sinister smile. The whole change passed over him +like a flash of light, and he stood in the same instant, pale and +astonished, before his patron. + +'In the name of Fate and wonder,' said Clennam, 'what do you mean? Do +you know a man of the name of Blandois?' + +'No!' said Mr Baptist, shaking his head. + +'You have just now described a man who was by when you heard that song; +have you not?' + +'Yes!' said Mr Baptist, nodding fifty times. + +'And was he not called Blandois?' + +'No!' said Mr Baptist. 'Altro, Altro, Altro, Altro!' He could not reject +the name sufficiently, with his head and his right forefinger going at +once. + +'Stay!' cried Clennam, spreading out the handbill on his desk. 'Was this +the man? You can understand what I read aloud?' + +'Altogether. Perfectly.' + +'But look at it, too. Come here and look over me, while I read.' + +Mr Baptist approached, followed every word with his quick eyes, saw +and heard it all out with the greatest impatience, then clapped his +two hands flat upon the bill as if he had fiercely caught some noxious +creature, and cried, looking eagerly at Clennam, 'It is the man! Behold +him!' + +'This is of far greater moment to me' said Clennam, in great agitation, +'than you can imagine. Tell me where you knew the man.' + +Mr Baptist, releasing the paper very slowly and with much discomfiture, +and drawing himself back two or three paces, and making as though he +dusted his hands, returned, very much against his will: + +'At Marsiglia--Marseilles.' + +'What was he?' + +'A prisoner, and--Altro! I believe yes!--an,' Mr Baptist crept closer +again to whisper it, 'Assassin!' + +Clennam fell back as if the word had struck him a blow: so terrible +did it make his mother's communication with the man appear. +Cavalletto dropped on one knee, and implored him, with a redundancy of +gesticulation, to hear what had brought himself into such foul company. + +He told with perfect truth how it had come of a little contraband +trading, and how he had in time been released from prison, and how he +had gone away from those antecedents. How, at the house of entertainment +called the Break of Day at Chalons on the Saone, he had been awakened +in his bed at night by the same assassin, then assuming the name of +Lagnier, though his name had formerly been Rigaud; how the assassin had +proposed that they should join their fortunes together; how he held +the assassin in such dread and aversion that he had fled from him at +daylight, and how he had ever since been haunted by the fear of seeing +the assassin again and being claimed by him as an acquaintance. When he +had related this, with an emphasis and poise on the word, 'assassin,' +peculiarly belonging to his own language, and which did not serve to +render it less terrible to Clennam, he suddenly sprang to his feet, +pounced upon the bill again, and with a vehemence that would have been +absolute madness in any man of Northern origin, cried 'Behold the same +assassin! Here he is!' + +In his passionate raptures, he at first forgot the fact that he had +lately seen the assassin in London. On his remembering it, it suggested +hope to Clennam that the recognition might be of later date than the +night of the visit at his mother's; but Cavalletto was too exact and +clear about time and place, to leave any opening for doubt that it had +preceded that occasion. + +'Listen,' said Arthur, very seriously. 'This man, as we have read here, +has wholly disappeared.' + +'Of it I am well content!' said Cavalletto, raising his eyes piously. 'A +thousand thanks to Heaven! Accursed assassin!' + +'Not so,' returned Clennam; 'for until something more is heard of him, I +can never know an hour's peace.' + +'Enough, Benefactor; that is quite another thing. A million of excuses!' + +'Now, Cavalletto,' said Clennam, gently turning him by the arm, so that +they looked into each other's eyes. 'I am certain that for the little +I have been able to do for you, you are the most sincerely grateful of +men.' + +'I swear it!' cried the other. + +'I know it. If you could find this man, or discover what has become of +him, or gain any later intelligence whatever of him, you would render +me a service above any other service I could receive in the world, and +would make me (with far greater reason) as grateful to you as you are to +me.' + +'I know not where to look,' cried the little man, kissing Arthur's +hand in a transport. 'I know not where to begin. I know not where to go. +But, courage! Enough! It matters not! I go, in this instant of time!' + +'Not a word to any one but me, Cavalletto.' + +'Al-tro!' cried Cavalletto. And was gone with great speed. + + + + +CHAPTER 23. Mistress Affery makes a Conditional Promise, +respecting her Dreams + + +Left alone, with the expressive looks and gestures of Mr Baptist, +otherwise Giovanni Baptista Cavalletto, vividly before him, Clennam +entered on a weary day. It was in vain that he tried to control his +attention by directing it to any business occupation or train of +thought; it rode at anchor by the haunting topic, and would hold to no +other idea. As though a criminal should be chained in a stationary boat +on a deep clear river, condemned, whatever countless leagues of water +flowed past him, always to see the body of the fellow-creature he had +drowned lying at the bottom, immovable, and unchangeable, except as +the eddies made it broad or long, now expanding, now contracting +its terrible lineaments; so Arthur, below the shifting current of +transparent thoughts and fancies which were gone and succeeded by others +as soon as come, saw, steady and dark, and not to be stirred from its +place, the one subject that he endeavoured with all his might to rid +himself of, and that he could not fly from. + +The assurance he now had, that Blandois, whatever his right name, was +one of the worst of characters, greatly augmented the burden of his +anxieties. Though the disappearance should be accounted for to-morrow, +the fact that his mother had been in communication with such a man, +would remain unalterable. That the communication had been of a secret +kind, and that she had been submissive to him and afraid of him, he +hoped might be known to no one beyond himself; yet, knowing it, how +could he separate it from his old vague fears, and how believe that +there was nothing evil in such relations? + +Her resolution not to enter on the question with him, and his knowledge +of her indomitable character, enhanced his sense of helplessness. It was +like the oppression of a dream to believe that shame and exposure were +impending over her and his father's memory, and to be shut out, as by a +brazen wall, from the possibility of coming to their aid. The purpose he +had brought home to his native country, and had ever since kept in view, +was, with her greatest determination, defeated by his mother herself, at +the time of all others when he feared that it pressed most. His advice, +energy, activity, money, credit, all his resources whatsoever, were all +made useless. If she had been possessed of the old fabled influence, and +had turned those who looked upon her into stone, she could not have +rendered him more completely powerless (so it seemed to him in his +distress of mind) than she did, when she turned her unyielding face to +his in her gloomy room. + +But the light of that day's discovery, shining on these considerations, +roused him to take a more decided course of action. Confident in the +rectitude of his purpose, and impelled by a sense of overhanging danger +closing in around, he resolved, if his mother would still admit of no +approach, to make a desperate appeal to Affery. If she could be brought +to become communicative, and to do what lay in her to break the spell of +secrecy that enshrouded the house, he might shake off the paralysis of +which every hour that passed over his head made him more acutely +sensible. This was the result of his day's anxiety, and this was the +decision he put in practice when the day closed in. + +His first disappointment, on arriving at the house, was to find the door +open, and Mr Flintwinch smoking a pipe on the steps. If circumstances +had been commonly favourable, Mistress Affery would have opened the +door to his knock. Circumstances being uncommonly unfavourable, the door +stood open, and Mr Flintwinch was smoking his pipe on the steps. + +'Good evening,' said Arthur. + +'Good evening,' said Mr Flintwinch. + +The smoke came crookedly out of Mr Flintwinch's mouth, as if it +circulated through the whole of his wry figure and came back by his wry +throat, before coming forth to mingle with the smoke from the crooked +chimneys and the mists from the crooked river. + +'Have you any news?' said Arthur. + +'We have no news,' said Jeremiah. + +'I mean of the foreign man,' Arthur explained. + +'_I_ mean of the foreign man,' said Jeremiah. + +He looked so grim, as he stood askew, with the knot of his cravat under +his ear, that the thought passed into Clennam's mind, and not for the +first time by many, could Flintwinch for a purpose of his own have got +rid of Blandois? Could it have been his secret, and his safety, that +were at issue? He was small and bent, and perhaps not actively strong; +yet he was as tough as an old yew-tree, and as crusty as an old jackdaw. +Such a man, coming behind a much younger and more vigorous man, and +having the will to put an end to him and no relenting, might do it +pretty surely in that solitary place at a late hour. + +While, in the morbid condition of his thoughts, these thoughts drifted +over the main one that was always in Clennam's mind, Mr Flintwinch, +regarding the opposite house over the gateway with his neck twisted and +one eye shut up, stood smoking with a vicious expression upon him; more +as if he were trying to bite off the stem of his pipe, than as if he +were enjoying it. Yet he was enjoying it in his own way. + +'You'll be able to take my likeness, the next time you call, Arthur, +I should think,' said Mr Flintwinch, drily, as he stooped to knock the +ashes out. + +Rather conscious and confused, Arthur asked his pardon, if he had stared +at him unpolitely. 'But my mind runs so much upon this matter,' he said, +'that I lose myself.' + +'Hah! Yet I don't see,' returned Mr Flintwinch, quite at his leisure, +'why it should trouble _you_, Arthur.' + +'No?' + +'No,' said Mr Flintwinch, very shortly and decidedly: much as if he were +of the canine race, and snapped at Arthur's hand. + +'Is it nothing to see those placards about? Is it nothing to me to +see my mother's name and residence hawked up and down in such an +association?' + +'I don't see,' returned Mr Flintwinch, scraping his horny cheek, 'that +it need signify much to you. But I'll tell you what I do see, Arthur,' +glancing up at the windows; 'I see the light of fire and candle in your +mother's room!' + +'And what has that to do with it?' + +'Why, sir, I read by it,' said Mr Flintwinch, screwing himself at him, +'that if it's advisable (as the proverb says it is) to let sleeping dogs +lie, it's just as advisable, perhaps, to let missing dogs lie. Let 'em +be. They generally turn up soon enough.' + +Mr Flintwinch turned short round when he had made this remark, and went +into the dark hall. Clennam stood there, following him with his eyes, +as he dipped for a light in the phosphorus-box in the little room at the +side, got one after three or four dips, and lighted the dim lamp against +the wall. All the while, Clennam was pursuing the probabilities--rather +as if they were being shown to him by an invisible hand than as if he +himself were conjuring them up--of Mr Flintwinch's ways and means of +doing that darker deed, and removing its traces by any of the black +avenues of shadow that lay around them. + +'Now, sir,' said the testy Jeremiah; 'will it be agreeable to walk +up-stairs?' + +'My mother is alone, I suppose?' + +'Not alone,' said Mr Flintwinch. 'Mr Casby and his daughter are with +her. They came in while I was smoking, and I stayed behind to have my +smoke out.' + +This was the second disappointment. Arthur made no remark upon it, and +repaired to his mother's room, where Mr Casby and Flora had been +taking tea, anchovy paste, and hot buttered toast. The relics of those +delicacies were not yet removed, either from the table or from the +scorched countenance of Affery, who, with the kitchen toasting-fork +still in her hand, looked like a sort of allegorical personage; except +that she had a considerable advantage over the general run of such +personages in point of significant emblematical purpose. + +Flora had spread her bonnet and shawl upon the bed, with a care +indicative of an intention to stay some time. Mr Casby, too, was beaming +near the hob, with his benevolent knobs shining as if the warm butter of +the toast were exuding through the patriarchal skull, and with his face +as ruddy as if the colouring matter of the anchovy paste were mantling +in the patriarchal visage. Seeing this, as he exchanged the +usual salutations, Clennam decided to speak to his mother without +postponement. + +It had long been customary, as she never changed her room, for those who +had anything to say to her apart, to wheel her to her desk; where she +sat, usually with the back of her chair turned towards the rest of the +room, and the person who talked with her seated in a corner, on a stool +which was always set in that place for that purpose. Except that it +was long since the mother and son had spoken together without the +intervention of a third person, it was an ordinary matter of course +within the experience of visitors for Mrs Clennam to be asked, with a +word of apology for the interruption, if she could be spoken with on +a matter of business, and, on her replying in the affirmative, to be +wheeled into the position described. + +Therefore, when Arthur now made such an apology, and such a request, +and moved her to her desk and seated himself on the stool, Mrs Finching +merely began to talk louder and faster, as a delicate hint that she +could overhear nothing, and Mr Casby stroked his long white locks with +sleepy calmness. + +'Mother, I have heard something to-day which I feel persuaded you don't +know, and which I think you should know, of the antecedents of that man +I saw here.' + +'I know nothing of the antecedents of the man you saw here, Arthur.' + +She spoke aloud. He had lowered his own voice; but she rejected that +advance towards confidence as she rejected every other, and spoke in her +usual key and in her usual stern voice. + +'I have received it on no circuitous information; it has come to me +direct.' + +She asked him, exactly as before, if he were there to tell her what it +was? + +'I thought it right that you should know it.' + +'And what is it?' + +'He has been a prisoner in a French gaol.' + +She answered with composure, 'I should think that very likely.' + +'But in a gaol for criminals, mother. On an accusation of murder.' + +She started at the word, and her looks expressed her natural horror. Yet +she still spoke aloud, when she demanded:-- + +'Who told you so?' + +'A man who was his fellow-prisoner.' + +'That man's antecedents, I suppose, were not known to you, before he +told you?' + +'No.' + +'Though the man himself was?' + +'Yes.' + +'My case and Flintwinch's, in respect of this other man! I dare say the +resemblance is not so exact, though, as that your informant became known +to you through a letter from a correspondent with whom he had deposited +money? How does that part of the parallel stand?' + +Arthur had no choice but to say that his informant had not become known +to him through the agency of any such credentials, or indeed of any +credentials at all. Mrs Clennam's attentive frown expanded by degrees +into a severe look of triumph, and she retorted with emphasis, 'Take +care how you judge others, then. I say to you, Arthur, for your good, +take care how you judge!' + +Her emphasis had been derived from her eyes quite as much as from the +stress she laid upon her words. She continued to look at him; and if, +when he entered the house, he had had any latent hope of prevailing in +the least with her, she now looked it out of his heart. + +'Mother, shall I do nothing to assist you?' + +'Nothing.' + +'Will you entrust me with no confidence, no charge, no explanation? +Will you take no counsel with me? Will you not let me come near you?' + +'How can you ask me? You separated yourself from my affairs. It was not +my act; it was yours. How can you consistently ask me such a question? +You know that you left me to Flintwinch, and that he occupies your +place.' + +Glancing at Jeremiah, Clennam saw in his very gaiters that his attention +was closely directed to them, though he stood leaning against the wall +scraping his jaw, and pretended to listen to Flora as she held forth in +a most distracting manner on a chaos of subjects, in which mackerel, and +Mr F.'s Aunt in a swing, had become entangled with cockchafers and the +wine trade. + +'A prisoner, in a French gaol, on an accusation of murder,' repeated +Mrs Clennam, steadily going over what her son had said. 'That is all you +know of him from the fellow-prisoner?' + +'In substance, all.' + +'And was the fellow-prisoner his accomplice and a murderer, too? But, of +course, he gives a better account of himself than of his friend; it is +needless to ask. This will supply the rest of them here with something +new to talk about. Casby, Arthur tells me--' + +'Stay, mother! Stay, stay!' He interrupted her hastily, for it had not +entered his imagination that she would openly proclaim what he had told +her. + +'What now?' she said with displeasure. 'What more?' + +'I beg you to excuse me, Mr Casby--and you, too, Mrs Finching--for one +other moment with my mother--' + +He had laid his hand upon her chair, or she would otherwise have wheeled +it round with the touch of her foot upon the ground. They were still +face to face. She looked at him, as he ran over the possibilities of +some result he had not intended, and could not foresee, being influenced +by Cavalletto's disclosure becoming a matter of notoriety, and hurriedly +arrived at the conclusion that it had best not be talked about; though +perhaps he was guided by no more distinct reason than that he had taken +it for granted that his mother would reserve it to herself and her +partner. + +'What now?' she said again, impatiently. 'What is it?' + +'I did not mean, mother, that you should repeat what I have +communicated. I think you had better not repeat it.' + +'Do you make that a condition with me?' + +'Well! Yes.' + +'Observe, then! It is you who make this a secret,' said she, holding +up her hand, 'and not I. It is you, Arthur, who bring here doubts and +suspicions and entreaties for explanations, and it is you, Arthur, who +bring secrets here. What is it to me, do you think, where the man has +been, or what he has been? What can it be to me? The whole world may +know it, if they care to know it; it is nothing to me. Now, let me go.' + +He yielded to her imperious but elated look, and turned her chair back +to the place from which he had wheeled it. In doing so he saw elation +in the face of Mr Flintwinch, which most assuredly was not inspired by +Flora. This turning of his intelligence and of his whole attempt and +design against himself, did even more than his mother's fixedness and +firmness to convince him that his efforts with her were idle. Nothing +remained but the appeal to his old friend Affery. + +But even to get the very doubtful and preliminary stage of making the +appeal, seemed one of the least promising of human undertakings. She +was so completely under the thrall of the two clever ones, was so +systematically kept in sight by one or other of them, and was so afraid +to go about the house besides, that every opportunity of speaking to her +alone appeared to be forestalled. Over and above that, Mistress Affery, +by some means (it was not very difficult to guess, through the sharp +arguments of her liege lord), had acquired such a lively conviction +of the hazard of saying anything under any circumstances, that she had +remained all this time in a corner guarding herself from approach with +that symbolical instrument of hers; so that, when a word or two had +been addressed to her by Flora, or even by the bottle-green patriarch +himself, she had warded off conversation with the toasting-fork like a +dumb woman. + +After several abortive attempts to get Affery to look at him while +she cleared the table and washed the tea-service, Arthur thought of an +expedient which Flora might originate. To whom he therefore whispered, +'Could you say you would like to go through the house?' + +Now, poor Flora, being always in fluctuating expectation of the time +when Clennam would renew his boyhood and be madly in love with her +again, received the whisper with the utmost delight; not only as +rendered precious by its mysterious character, but as preparing the +way for a tender interview in which he would declare the state of his +affections. She immediately began to work out the hint. + +'Ah dear me the poor old room,' said Flora, glancing round, 'looks just +as ever Mrs Clennam I am touched to see except for being smokier which +was to be expected with time and which we must all expect and reconcile +ourselves to being whether we like it or not as I am sure I have had to +do myself if not exactly smokier dreadfully stouter which is the same or +worse, to think of the days when papa used to bring me here the least of +girls a perfect mass of chilblains to be stuck upon a chair with my feet +on the rails and stare at Arthur--pray excuse me--Mr Clennam--the +least of boys in the frightfullest of frills and jackets ere yet Mr +F. appeared a misty shadow on the horizon paying attentions like the +well-known spectre of some place in Germany beginning with a B is a +moral lesson inculcating that all the paths in life are similar to the +paths down in the North of England where they get the coals and make the +iron and things gravelled with ashes!' + +Having paid the tribute of a sigh to the instability of human existence, +Flora hurried on with her purpose. + +'Not that at any time,' she proceeded, 'its worst enemy could have said +it was a cheerful house for that it was never made to be but always +highly impressive, fond memory recalls an occasion in youth ere yet the +judgment was mature when Arthur--confirmed habit--Mr Clennam--took +me down into an unused kitchen eminent for mouldiness and proposed to +secrete me there for life and feed me on what he could hide from his +meals when he was not at home for the holidays and on dry bread in +disgrace which at that halcyon period too frequently occurred, would +it be inconvenient or asking too much to beg to be permitted to revive +those scenes and walk through the house?' + +Mrs Clennam, who responded with a constrained grace to Mrs Finching's +good nature in being there at all, though her visit (before Arthur's +unexpected arrival) was undoubtedly an act of pure good nature and no +self-gratification, intimated that all the house was open to her. Flora +rose and looked to Arthur for his escort. 'Certainly,' said he, aloud; +'and Affery will light us, I dare say.' + +Affery was excusing herself with 'Don't ask nothing of me, Arthur!' when +Mr Flintwinch stopped her with 'Why not? Affery, what's the matter with +you, woman? Why not, jade!' Thus expostulated with, she came unwillingly +out of her corner, resigned the toasting-fork into one of her husband's +hands, and took the candlestick he offered from the other. + +'Go before, you fool!' said Jeremiah. 'Are you going up, or down, Mrs +Finching?' + +Flora answered, 'Down.' + +'Then go before, and down, you Affery,' said Jeremiah. 'And do it +properly, or I'll come rolling down the banisters, and tumbling over +you!' + +Affery headed the exploring party; Jeremiah closed it. He had no +intention of leaving them. Clennam looking back, and seeing him +following three stairs behind, in the coolest and most methodical +manner exclaimed in a low voice, 'Is there no getting rid of him!' Flora +reassured his mind by replying promptly, 'Why though not exactly +proper Arthur and a thing I couldn't think of before a younger man or +a stranger still I don't mind him if you so particularly wish it and +provided you'll have the goodness not to take me too tight.' + +Wanting the heart to explain that this was not at all what he meant, +Arthur extended his supporting arm round Flora's figure. 'Oh my goodness +me,' said she. 'You are very obedient indeed really and it's extremely +honourable and gentlemanly in you I am sure but still at the same time +if you would like to be a little tighter than that I shouldn't consider +it intruding.' + +In this preposterous attitude, unspeakably at variance with his anxious +mind, Clennam descended to the basement of the house; finding that +wherever it became darker than elsewhere, Flora became heavier, and +that when the house was lightest she was too. Returning from the dismal +kitchen regions, which were as dreary as they could be, Mistress Affery +passed with the light into his father's old room, and then into the old +dining-room; always passing on before like a phantom that was not to be +overtaken, and neither turning nor answering when he whispered, 'Affery! +I want to speak to you!' + +In the dining-room, a sentimental desire came over Flora to look into +the dragon closet which had so often swallowed Arthur in the days of his +boyhood--not improbably because, as a very dark closet, it was a likely +place to be heavy in. Arthur, fast subsiding into despair, had opened +it, when a knock was heard at the outer door. + +Mistress Affery, with a suppressed cry, threw her apron over her head. + +'What? You want another dose!' said Mr Flintwinch. 'You shall have it, +my woman, you shall have a good one! Oh! You shall have a sneezer, you +shall have a teaser!' + +'In the meantime is anybody going to the door?' said Arthur. + +'In the meantime, _I_ am going to the door, sir,' returned the old man so +savagely, as to render it clear that in a choice of difficulties he felt +he must go, though he would have preferred not to go. 'Stay here the +while, all! Affery, my woman, move an inch, or speak a word in your +foolishness, and I'll treble your dose!' + +The moment he was gone, Arthur released Mrs Finching: with some +difficulty, by reason of that lady misunderstanding his intentions, and +making arrangements with a view to tightening instead of slackening. + +'Affery, speak to me now!' + +'Don't touch me, Arthur!' she cried, shrinking from him. 'Don't come +near me. He'll see you. Jeremiah will. Don't.' + +'He can't see me,' returned Arthur, suiting the action to the word, 'if +I blow the candle out.' + +'He'll hear you,' cried Affery. + +'He can't hear me,' returned Arthur, suiting the action to the words +again, 'if I draw you into this black closet, and speak here. Why do +you hide your face?' + +'Because I am afraid of seeing something.' + +'You can't be afraid of seeing anything in this darkness, Affery.' + +'Yes I am. Much more than if it was light.' + +'Why are you afraid?' + +'Because the house is full of mysteries and secrets; because it's full +of whisperings and counsellings; because it's full of noises. There +never was such a house for noises. I shall die of 'em, if Jeremiah don't +strangle me first. As I expect he will.' + +'I have never heard any noises here, worth speaking of.' + +'Ah! But you would, though, if you lived in the house, and was obliged +to go about it as I am,' said Affery; 'and you'd feel that they was so +well worth speaking of, that you'd feel you was nigh bursting through +not being allowed to speak of 'em. Here's Jeremiah! You'll get me +killed.' + +'My good Affery, I solemnly declare to you that I can see the light of +the open door on the pavement of the hall, and so could you if you would +uncover your face and look.' + +'I durstn't do it,' said Affery, 'I durstn't never, Arthur. I'm always +blind-folded when Jeremiah an't a looking, and sometimes even when he +is.' + +'He cannot shut the door without my seeing him,' said Arthur. 'You are +as safe with me as if he was fifty miles away.' + +('I wish he was!' cried Affery.) + +'Affery, I want to know what is amiss here; I want some light thrown +on the secrets of this house.' + +'I tell you, Arthur,' she interrupted, 'noises is the secrets, rustlings +and stealings about, tremblings, treads overhead and treads underneath.' + +'But those are not all the secrets.' + +'I don't know,' said Affery. 'Don't ask me no more. Your old sweetheart +an't far off, and she's a blabber.' + +His old sweetheart, being in fact so near at hand that she was then +reclining against him in a flutter, a very substantial angle of +forty-five degrees, here interposed to assure Mistress Affery with +greater earnestness than directness of asseveration, that what she heard +should go no further, but should be kept inviolate, 'if on no other +account on Arthur's--sensible of intruding in being too familiar Doyce +and Clennam's.' + +'I make an imploring appeal to you, Affery, to you, one of the few +agreeable early remembrances I have, for my mother's sake, for your +husband's sake, for my own, for all our sakes. I am sure you can tell me +something connected with the coming here of this man, if you will.' + +'Why, then I'll tell you, Arthur,' returned Affery--'Jeremiah's coming!' + +'No, indeed he is not. The door is open, and he is standing outside, +talking.' + +'I'll tell you then,' said Affery, after listening, 'that the first time +he ever come he heard the noises his own self. "What's that?" he said to +me. "I don't know what it is," I says to him, catching hold of him, +"but I have heard it over and over again." While I says it, he stands a +looking at me, all of a shake, he do.' + +'Has he been here often?' + +'Only that night, and the last night.' + +'What did you see of him on the last night, after I was gone?' + +'Them two clever ones had him all alone to themselves. Jeremiah come +a dancing at me sideways, after I had let you out (he always comes a +dancing at me sideways when he's going to hurt me), and he said to me, +"Now, Affery," he said, "I am a coming behind you, my woman, and a going +to run you up." So he took and squeezed the back of my neck in his hand, +till it made me open my mouth, and then he pushed me before him to bed, +squeezing all the way. That's what he calls running me up, he do. Oh, +he's a wicked one!' + +'And did you hear or see no more, Affery?' + +'Don't I tell you I was sent to bed, Arthur! Here he is!' + +'I assure you he is still at the door. Those whisperings and +counsellings, Affery, that you have spoken of. What are they?' + +'How should I know? Don't ask me nothing about 'em, Arthur. Get away!' + +'But my dear Affery; unless I can gain some insight into these hidden +things, in spite of your husband and in spite of my mother, ruin will +come of it.' + +'Don't ask me nothing,' repeated Affery. 'I have been in a dream for +ever so long. Go away, go away!' + +'You said that before,' returned Arthur. 'You used the same expression +that night, at the door, when I asked you what was going on here. What +do you mean by being in a dream?' + +'I an't a going to tell you. Get away! I shouldn't tell you, if you was +by yourself; much less with your old sweetheart here.' + +It was equally vain for Arthur to entreat, and for Flora to protest. +Affery, who had been trembling and struggling the whole time, turned a +deaf ear to all adjuration, and was bent on forcing herself out of the +closet. + +'I'd sooner scream to Jeremiah than say another word! I'll call out to +him, Arthur, if you don't give over speaking to me. Now here's the very +last word I'll say afore I call to him--If ever you begin to get the +better of them two clever ones your own self (you ought to it, as I told +you when you first come home, for you haven't been a living here long +years, to be made afeared of your life as I have), then do you get the +better of 'em afore my face; and then do you say to me, Affery tell your +dreams! Maybe, then I'll tell 'em!' + +The shutting of the door stopped Arthur from replying. They glided into +the places where Jeremiah had left them; and Clennam, stepping forward +as that old gentleman returned, informed him that he had accidentally +extinguished the candle. Mr Flintwinch looked on as he re-lighted it at +the lamp in the hall, and preserved a profound taciturnity respecting +the person who had been holding him in conversation. Perhaps his +irascibility demanded compensation for some tediousness that the visitor +had expended on him; however that was, he took such umbrage at seeing +his wife with her apron over her head, that he charged at her, and +taking her veiled nose between his thumb and finger, appeared to throw +the whole screw-power of his person into the wring he gave it. + +Flora, now permanently heavy, did not release Arthur from the survey of +the house, until it had extended even to his old garret bedchamber. His +thoughts were otherwise occupied than with the tour of inspection; yet +he took particular notice at the time, as he afterwards had occasion to +remember, of the airlessness and closeness of the house; that they left +the track of their footsteps in the dust on the upper floors; and that +there was a resistance to the opening of one room door, which occasioned +Affery to cry out that somebody was hiding inside, and to continue to +believe so, though somebody was sought and not discovered. When they at +last returned to his mother's room, they found her shading her face +with her muffled hand, and talking in a low voice to the Patriarch as he +stood before the fire, whose blue eyes, polished head, and silken locks, +turning towards them as they came in, imparted an inestimable value and +inexhaustible love of his species to his remark: + +'So you have been seeing the premises, seeing the premises--premises-- +seeing the premises!' + +It was not in itself a jewel of benevolence or wisdom, yet he made it an +exemplar of both that one would have liked to have a copy of. + + + + +CHAPTER 24. The Evening of a Long Day + + +That illustrious man and great national ornament, Mr Merdle, continued +his shining course. It began to be widely understood that one who had +done society the admirable service of making so much money out of it, +could not be suffered to remain a commoner. A baronetcy was spoken of +with confidence; a peerage was frequently mentioned. Rumour had it +that Mr Merdle had set his golden face against a baronetcy; that he had +plainly intimated to Lord Decimus that a baronetcy was not enough +for him; that he had said, 'No--a Peerage, or plain Merdle.' This was +reported to have plunged Lord Decimus as nigh to his noble chin in a +slough of doubts as so lofty a person could be sunk. For the Barnacles, +as a group of themselves in creation, had an idea that such distinctions +belonged to them; and that when a soldier, sailor, or lawyer became +ennobled, they let him in, as it were, by an act of condescension, at +the family door, and immediately shut it again. Not only (said Rumour) +had the troubled Decimus his own hereditary part in this impression, but +he also knew of several Barnacle claims already on the file, which came +into collision with that of the master spirit. Right or wrong, Rumour +was very busy; and Lord Decimus, while he was, or was supposed to be, in +stately excogitation of the difficulty, lent her some countenance by +taking, on several public occasions, one of those elephantine trots of +his through a jungle of overgrown sentences, waving Mr Merdle about on +his trunk as Gigantic Enterprise, The Wealth of England, Elasticity, +Credit, Capital, Prosperity, and all manner of blessings. + +So quietly did the mowing of the old scythe go on, that fully three +months had passed unnoticed since the two English brothers had been laid +in one tomb in the strangers' cemetery at Rome. Mr and Mrs Sparkler were +established in their own house: a little mansion, rather of the Tite +Barnacle class, quite a triumph of inconvenience, with a perpetual smell +in it of the day before yesterday's soup and coach-horses, but extremely +dear, as being exactly in the centre of the habitable globe. In this +enviable abode (and envied it really was by many people), Mrs Sparkler +had intended to proceed at once to the demolition of the Bosom, when +active hostilities had been suspended by the arrival of the Courier with +his tidings of death. Mrs Sparkler, who was not unfeeling, had received +them with a violent burst of grief, which had lasted twelve hours; +after which, she had arisen to see about her mourning, and to take every +precaution that could ensure its being as becoming as Mrs Merdle's. A +gloom was then cast over more than one distinguished family (according +to the politest sources of intelligence), and the Courier went back +again. + +Mr and Mrs Sparkler had been dining alone, with their gloom cast over +them, and Mrs Sparkler reclined on a drawing-room sofa. It was a hot +summer Sunday evening. The residence in the centre of the habitable +globe, at all times stuffed and close as if it had an incurable cold in +its head, was that evening particularly stifling. The bells of the +churches had done their worst in the way of clanging among the +unmelodious echoes of the streets, and the lighted windows of the +churches had ceased to be yellow in the grey dusk, and had died out +opaque black. Mrs Sparkler, lying on her sofa, looking through an open +window at the opposite side of a narrow street over boxes of mignonette +and flowers, was tired of the view. Mrs Sparkler, looking at another +window where her husband stood in the balcony, was tired of that view. +Mrs Sparkler, looking at herself in her mourning, was even tired of that +view: though, naturally, not so tired of that as of the other two. + +'It's like lying in a well,' said Mrs Sparkler, changing her position +fretfully. 'Dear me, Edmund, if you have anything to say, why don't you +say it?' + +Mr Sparkler might have replied with ingenuousness, 'My life, I have +nothing to say.' But, as the repartee did not occur to him, he contented +himself with coming in from the balcony and standing at the side of his +wife's couch. + +'Good gracious, Edmund!' said Mrs Sparkler more fretfully still, 'you are +absolutely putting mignonette up your nose! Pray don't!' + +Mr Sparkler, in absence of mind--perhaps in a more literal absence of +mind than is usually understood by the phrase--had smelt so hard at a +sprig in his hand as to be on the verge of the offence in question. He +smiled, said, 'I ask your pardon, my dear,' and threw it out of window. + +'You make my head ache by remaining in that position, Edmund,' said Mrs +Sparkler, raising her eyes to him after another minute; 'you look so +aggravatingly large by this light. Do sit down.' + +'Certainly, my dear,' said Mr Sparkler, and took a chair on the same +spot. + +'If I didn't know that the longest day was past,' said Fanny, yawning in +a dreary manner, 'I should have felt certain this was the longest day. I +never did experience such a day.' + +'Is that your fan, my love?' asked Mr Sparkler, picking up one and +presenting it. + +'Edmund,' returned his wife, more wearily yet, 'don't ask weak +questions, I entreat you not. Whose can it be but mine?' + +'Yes, I thought it was yours,' said Mr Sparkler. + +'Then you shouldn't ask,' retorted Fanny. After a little while she +turned on her sofa and exclaimed, 'Dear me, dear me, there never was +such a long day as this!' After another little while, she got up slowly, +walked about, and came back again. + +'My dear,' said Mr Sparkler, flashing with an original conception, 'I +think you must have got the fidgets.' + +'Oh, Fidgets!' repeated Mrs Sparkler. 'Don't.' + +'My adorable girl,' urged Mr Sparkler, 'try your aromatic vinegar. I +have often seen my mother try it, and it seemingly refreshed her. + +And she is, as I believe you are aware, a remarkably fine woman, with no +non--' + +'Good Gracious!' exclaimed Fanny, starting up again. 'It's beyond all +patience! This is the most wearisome day that ever did dawn upon the +world, I am certain.' + +Mr Sparkler looked meekly after her as she lounged about the room, and +he appeared to be a little frightened. When she had tossed a few trifles +about, and had looked down into the darkening street out of all the +three windows, she returned to her sofa, and threw herself among its +pillows. + +'Now Edmund, come here! Come a little nearer, because I want to be able +to touch you with my fan, that I may impress you very much with what I +am going to say. That will do. Quite close enough. Oh, you _do_ look so +big!' + +Mr Sparkler apologised for the circumstance, pleaded that he couldn't +help it, and said that 'our fellows,' without more particularly +indicating whose fellows, used to call him by the name of Quinbus +Flestrin, Junior, or the Young Man Mountain. + +'You ought to have told me so before,' Fanny complained. + +'My dear,' returned Mr Sparkler, rather gratified, 'I didn't know +It would interest you, or I would have made a point of telling you.' + +'There! For goodness sake, don't talk,' said Fanny; 'I want to talk, +myself. Edmund, we must not be alone any more. I must take such +precautions as will prevent my being ever again reduced to the state of +dreadful depression in which I am this evening.' + +'My dear,' answered Mr Sparkler; 'being as you are well known to be, a +remarkably fine woman with no--' + +'Oh, good GRACIOUS!' cried Fanny. + +Mr Sparkler was so discomposed by the energy of this exclamation, +accompanied with a flouncing up from the sofa and a flouncing down +again, that a minute or two elapsed before he felt himself equal to +saying in explanation: + +'I mean, my dear, that everybody knows you are calculated to shine in +society.' + +'Calculated to shine in society,' retorted Fanny with great +irritability; 'yes, indeed! And then what happens? I no sooner recover, +in a visiting point of view, the shock of poor dear papa's death, and my +poor uncle's--though I do not disguise from myself that the last was +a happy release, for, if you are not presentable you had much better +die--' + +'You are not referring to me, my love, I hope?' Mr Sparkler humbly +interrupted. + +'Edmund, Edmund, you would wear out a Saint. Am I not expressly speaking +of my poor uncle?' + +'You looked with so much expression at myself, my dear girl,' said Mr +Sparkler, 'that I felt a little uncomfortable. Thank you, my love.' + +'Now you have put me out,' observed Fanny with a resigned toss of her +fan, 'and I had better go to bed.' + +'Don't do that, my love,' urged Mr Sparkler. 'Take time.' + +Fanny took a good deal of time: lying back with her eyes shut, and her +eyebrows raised with a hopeless expression as if she had utterly given +up all terrestrial affairs. At length, without the slightest notice, she +opened her eyes again, and recommenced in a short, sharp manner: + +'What happens then, I ask! What happens? Why, I find myself at the very +period when I might shine most in society, and should most like for +very momentous reasons to shine in society--I find myself in a situation +which to a certain extent disqualifies me for going into society. It's +too bad, really!' + +'My dear,' said Mr Sparkler. 'I don't think it need keep you at +home.' + +'Edmund, you ridiculous creature,' returned Fanny, with great +indignation; 'do you suppose that a woman in the bloom of youth and not +wholly devoid of personal attractions, can put herself, at such a +time, in competition as to figure with a woman in every other way her +inferior? If you do suppose such a thing, your folly is boundless.' + +Mr Sparkler submitted that he had thought 'it might be got over.' + +'Got over!' repeated Fanny, with immeasurable scorn. + +'For a time,' Mr Sparkler submitted. + +Honouring the last feeble suggestion with no notice, Mrs Sparkler +declared with bitterness that it really was too bad, and that positively +it was enough to make one wish one was dead! + +'However,' she said, when she had in some measure recovered from her +sense of personal ill-usage; 'provoking as it is, and cruel as it seems, +I suppose it must be submitted to.' + +'Especially as it was to be expected,' said Mr Sparkler. + +'Edmund,' returned his wife, 'if you have nothing more becoming to do +than to attempt to insult the woman who has honoured you with her hand, +when she finds herself in adversity, I think _you_ had better go to bed!' + +Mr Sparkler was much afflicted by the charge, and offered a most +tender and earnest apology. His apology was accepted; but Mrs Sparkler +requested him to go round to the other side of the sofa and sit in the +window-curtain, to tone himself down. + +'Now, Edmund,' she said, stretching out her fan, and touching him with +it at arm's length, 'what I was going to say to you when you began as +usual to prose and worry, is, that I shall guard against our being alone +any more, and that when circumstances prevent my going out to my own +satisfaction, I must arrange to have some people or other always here; +for I really cannot, and will not, have another such day as this has +been.' + +Mr Sparkler's sentiments as to the plan were, in brief, that it had no +nonsense about it. He added, 'And besides, you know it's likely that +you'll soon have your sister--' + +'Dearest Amy, yes!' cried Mrs Sparkler with a sigh of affection. +'Darling little thing! Not, however, that Amy would do here alone.' + +Mr Sparkler was going to say 'No?' interrogatively, but he saw his +danger and said it assentingly, 'No, Oh dear no; she wouldn't do here +alone.' + +'No, Edmund. For not only are the virtues of the precious child of that +still character that they require a contrast--require life and movement +around them to bring them out in their right colours and make one love +them of all things; but she will require to be roused, on more accounts +than one.' + +'That's it,' said Mr Sparkler. 'Roused.' + +'Pray don't, Edmund! Your habit of interrupting without having the least +thing in the world to say, distracts one. You must be broken of it. +Speaking of Amy;--my poor little pet was devotedly attached to poor +papa, and no doubt will have lamented his loss exceedingly, and grieved +very much. I have done so myself. I have felt it dreadfully. But Amy +will no doubt have felt it even more, from having been on the spot the +whole time, and having been with poor dear papa at the last; which I +unhappily was not.' + +Here Fanny stopped to weep, and to say, 'Dear, dear, beloved papa! How +truly gentlemanly he was! What a contrast to poor uncle!' + +'From the effects of that trying time,' she pursued, 'my good little +Mouse will have to be roused. Also, from the effects of this long +attendance upon Edward in his illness; an attendance which is not +yet over, which may even go on for some time longer, and which in the +meanwhile unsettles us all by keeping poor dear papa's affairs from +being wound up. Fortunately, however, the papers with his agents +here being all sealed up and locked up, as he left them when he +providentially came to England, the affairs are in that state of order +that they can wait until my brother Edward recovers his health in +Sicily, sufficiently to come over, and administer, or execute, or +whatever it may be that will have to be done.' + +'He couldn't have a better nurse to bring him round,' Mr Sparkler made +bold to opine. + +'For a wonder, I can agree with you,' returned his wife, languidly +turning her eyelids a little in his direction (she held forth, in +general, as if to the drawing-room furniture), 'and can adopt your +words. He couldn't have a better nurse to bring him round. There are +times when my dear child is a little wearing to an active mind; but, as +a nurse, she is Perfection. Best of Amys!' + +Mr Sparkler, growing rash on his late success, observed that Edward had +had, biggodd, a long bout of it, my dear girl. + +'If Bout, Edmund,' returned Mrs Sparkler, 'is the slang term for +indisposition, he has. If it is not, I am unable to give an opinion +on the barbarous language you address to Edward's sister. That he +contracted Malaria Fever somewhere, either by travelling day and night +to Rome, where, after all, he arrived too late to see poor dear papa +before his death--or under some other unwholesome circumstances--is +indubitable, if that is what you mean. Likewise that his extremely +careless life has made him a very bad subject for it indeed.' + +Mr Sparkler considered it a parallel case to that of some of our fellows +in the West Indies with Yellow Jack. Mrs Sparkler closed her eyes again, +and refused to have any consciousness of our fellows of the West Indies, +or of Yellow Jack. + +'So, Amy,' she pursued, when she reopened her eyelids, 'will require +to be roused from the effects of many tedious and anxious weeks. And +lastly, she will require to be roused from a low tendency which I know +very well to be at the bottom of her heart. Don't ask me what it is, +Edmund, because I must decline to tell you.' + +'I am not going to, my dear,' said Mr Sparkler. + +'I shall thus have much improvement to effect in my sweet child,' Mrs +Sparkler continued, 'and cannot have her near me too soon. Amiable and +dear little Twoshoes! As to the settlement of poor papa's affairs, my +interest in that is not very selfish. Papa behaved very generously to me +when I was married, and I have little or nothing to expect. Provided +he had made no will that can come into force, leaving a legacy to Mrs +General, I am contented. Dear papa, dear papa.' + +She wept again, but Mrs General was the best of restoratives. The name +soon stimulated her to dry her eyes and say: + +'It is a highly encouraging circumstance in Edward's illness, I am +thankful to think, and gives one the greatest confidence in his sense +not being impaired, or his proper spirit weakened--down to the time +of poor dear papa's death at all events--that he paid off Mrs General +instantly, and sent her out of the house. I applaud him for it. I could +forgive him a great deal for doing, with such promptitude, so exactly +what I would have done myself!' + +Mrs Sparkler was in the full glow of her gratification, when a double +knock was heard at the door. A very odd knock. Low, as if to avoid +making a noise and attracting attention. Long, as if the person knocking +were preoccupied in mind, and forgot to leave off. + +'Halloa!' said Mr Sparkler. 'Who's this?' + +'Not Amy and Edward without notice and without a carriage!' said Mrs +Sparkler. 'Look out.' + +The room was dark, but the street was lighter, because of its lamps. Mr +Sparkler's head peeping over the balcony looked so very bulky and heavy +that it seemed on the point of overbalancing him and flattening the +unknown below. + +'It's one fellow,' said Mr Sparkler. 'I can't see who--stop though!' + +On this second thought he went out into the balcony again and had +another look. He came back as the door was opened, and announced that he +believed he had identified 'his governor's tile.' He was not mistaken, +for his governor, with his tile in his hand, was introduced immediately +afterwards. + +'Candles!' said Mrs Sparkler, with a word of excuse for the darkness. + +'It's light enough for me,' said Mr Merdle. + +When the candles were brought in, Mr Merdle was discovered standing +behind the door, picking his lips. 'I thought I'd give you a call,' he +said. 'I am rather particularly occupied just now; and, as I happened to +be out for a stroll, I thought I'd give you a call.' + +As he was in dinner dress, Fanny asked him where he had been dining? + +'Well,' said Mr Merdle, 'I haven't been dining anywhere, particularly.' + +'Of course you have dined?' said Fanny. + +'Why--no, I haven't exactly dined,' said Mr Merdle. + +He had passed his hand over his yellow forehead and considered, as if he +were not sure about it. Something to eat was proposed. 'No, thank you,' +said Mr Merdle, 'I don't feel inclined for it. I was to have dined out +along with Mrs Merdle. But as I didn't feel inclined for dinner, I let +Mrs Merdle go by herself just as we were getting into the carriage, and +thought I'd take a stroll instead.' + +Would he have tea or coffee? 'No, thank you,' said Mr Merdle. 'I looked +in at the Club, and got a bottle of wine.' + +At this period of his visit, Mr Merdle took the chair which Edmund +Sparkler had offered him, and which he had hitherto been pushing slowly +about before him, like a dull man with a pair of skates on for the first +time, who could not make up his mind to start. He now put his hat upon +another chair beside him, and, looking down into it as if it were some +twenty feet deep, said again: 'You see I thought I'd give you a call.' + +'Flattering to us,' said Fanny, 'for you are not a calling man.' + +'No--no,' returned Mr Merdle, who was by this time taking himself into +custody under both coat-sleeves. 'No, I am not a calling man.' + +'You have too much to do for that,' said Fanny. 'Having so much to do, +Mr Merdle, loss of appetite is a serious thing with you, and you must +have it seen to. You must not be ill.' + +'Oh! I am very well,' replied Mr Merdle, after deliberating about it. 'I +am as well as I usually am. I am well enough. I am as well as I want to +be.' + +The master-mind of the age, true to its characteristic of being at all +times a mind that had as little as possible to say for itself and great +difficulty in saying it, became mute again. Mrs Sparkler began to wonder +how long the master-mind meant to stay. + +'I was speaking of poor papa when you came in, sir.' + +'Aye! Quite a coincidence,' said Mr Merdle. + +Fanny did not see that; but felt it incumbent on her to continue +talking. 'I was saying,' she pursued, 'that my brother's illness has +occasioned a delay in examining and arranging papa's property.' + +'Yes,' said Mr Merdle; 'yes. There has been a delay.' + +'Not that it is of consequence,' said Fanny. + +'Not,' assented Mr Merdle, after having examined the cornice of all +that part of the room which was within his range: 'not that it is of any +consequence.' + +'My only anxiety is,' said Fanny, 'that Mrs General should not get +anything.' + +'_She_ won't get anything,' said Mr Merdle. + +Fanny was delighted to hear him express the opinion. Mr Merdle, after +taking another gaze into the depths of his hat as if he thought he saw +something at the bottom, rubbed his hair and slowly appended to his last +remark the confirmatory words, 'Oh dear no. No. Not she. Not likely.' + +As the topic seemed exhausted, and Mr Merdle too, Fanny inquired if he +were going to take up Mrs Merdle and the carriage in his way home? + +'No,' he answered; 'I shall go by the shortest way, and leave Mrs Merdle +to--' here he looked all over the palms of both his hands as if he were +telling his own fortune--'to take care of herself. I dare say she'll +manage to do it.' + +'Probably,' said Fanny. + +There was then a long silence; during which, Mrs Sparkler, lying back +on her sofa again, shut her eyes and raised her eyebrows in her former +retirement from mundane affairs. + +'But, however,' said Mr Merdle, 'I am equally detaining you and myself. +I thought I'd give you a call, you know.' + +'Charmed, I am sure,' said Fanny. + +'So I am off,' added Mr Merdle, getting up. 'Could you lend me a +penknife?' + +It was an odd thing, Fanny smilingly observed, for her who could seldom +prevail upon herself even to write a letter, to lend to a man of such +vast business as Mr Merdle. 'Isn't it?' Mr Merdle acquiesced; 'but +I want one; and I know you have got several little wedding keepsakes +about, with scissors and tweezers and such things in them. You shall +have it back to-morrow.' + +'Edmund,' said Mrs Sparkler, 'open (now, very carefully, I beg and +beseech, for you are so very awkward) the mother of pearl box on my +little table there, and give Mr Merdle the mother of pearl penknife.' + +'Thank you,' said Mr Merdle; 'but if you have got one with a darker +handle, I think I should prefer one with a darker handle.' + +'Tortoise-shell?' + +'Thank you,' said Mr Merdle; 'yes. I think I should prefer +tortoise-shell.' + +Edmund accordingly received instructions to open the tortoise-shell box, +and give Mr Merdle the tortoise-shell knife. On his doing so, his wife +said to the master-spirit graciously: + +'I will forgive you, if you ink it.' + +'I'll undertake not to ink it,' said Mr Merdle. + +The illustrious visitor then put out his coat-cuff, and for a moment +entombed Mrs Sparkler's hand: wrist, bracelet, and all. Where his own +hand had shrunk to, was not made manifest, but it was as remote from Mrs +Sparkler's sense of touch as if he had been a highly meritorious Chelsea +Veteran or Greenwich Pensioner. + +Thoroughly convinced, as he went out of the room, that it was the +longest day that ever did come to an end at last, and that there never +was a woman, not wholly devoid of personal attractions, so worn out by +idiotic and lumpish people, Fanny passed into the balcony for a breath +of air. Waters of vexation filled her eyes; and they had the effect of +making the famous Mr Merdle, in going down the street, appear to leap, +and waltz, and gyrate, as if he were possessed of several Devils. + + + + +CHAPTER 25. The Chief Butler Resigns the Seals of Office + + +The dinner-party was at the great Physician's. Bar was there, and in +full force. Ferdinand Barnacle was there, and in his most engaging +state. Few ways of life were hidden from Physician, and he was oftener +in its darkest places than even Bishop. There were brilliant ladies +about London who perfectly doted on him, my dear, as the most charming +creature and the most delightful person, who would have been shocked to +find themselves so close to him if they could have known on what sights +those thoughtful eyes of his had rested within an hour or two, and near +to whose beds, and under what roofs, his composed figure had stood. But +Physician was a composed man, who performed neither on his own trumpet, +nor on the trumpets of other people. Many wonderful things did he see +and hear, and much irreconcilable moral contradiction did he pass his +life among; yet his equality of compassion was no more disturbed than +the Divine Master's of all healing was. He went, like the rain, +among the just and unjust, doing all the good he could, and neither +proclaiming it in the synagogues nor at the corner of streets. + +As no man of large experience of humanity, however quietly carried +it may be, can fail to be invested with an interest peculiar to the +possession of such knowledge, Physician was an attractive man. Even the +daintier gentlemen and ladies who had no idea of his secret, and +who would have been startled out of more wits than they had, by the +monstrous impropriety of his proposing to them 'Come and see what I +see!' confessed his attraction. Where he was, something real was. And +half a grain of reality, like the smallest portion of some other scarce +natural productions, will flavour an enormous quantity of diluent. + +It came to pass, therefore, that Physician's little dinners always +presented people in their least conventional lights. The guests said to +themselves, whether they were conscious of it or no, 'Here is a man who +really has an acquaintance with us as we are, who is admitted to some +of us every day with our wigs and paint off, who hears the wanderings of +our minds, and sees the undisguised expression of our faces, when both +are past our control; we may as well make an approach to reality with +him, for the man has got the better of us and is too strong for us.' +Therefore, Physician's guests came out so surprisingly at his round +table that they were almost natural. + +Bar's knowledge of that agglomeration of jurymen which is called +humanity was as sharp as a razor; yet a razor is not a generally +convenient instrument, and Physician's plain bright scalpel, though far +less keen, was adaptable to far wider purposes. Bar knew all about the +gullibility and knavery of people; but Physician could have given him +a better insight into their tendernesses and affections, in one week of +his rounds, than Westminster Hall and all the circuits put together, +in threescore years and ten. Bar always had a suspicion of this, and +perhaps was glad to encourage it (for, if the world were really a great +Law Court, one would think that the last day of Term could not too soon +arrive); and so he liked and respected Physician quite as much as any +other kind of man did. + +Mr Merdle's default left a Banquo's chair at the table; but, if he had +been there, he would have merely made the difference of Banquo in it, +and consequently he was no loss. Bar, who picked up all sorts of odds +and ends about Westminster Hall, much as a raven would have done if he +had passed as much of his time there, had been picking up a great many +straws lately and tossing them about, to try which way the Merdle wind +blew. He now had a little talk on the subject with Mrs Merdle herself; +sidling up to that lady, of course, with his double eye-glass and his +jury droop. + +'A certain bird,' said Bar; and he looked as if it could have been no +other bird than a magpie; 'has been whispering among us lawyers lately, +that there is to be an addition to the titled personages of this realm.' + +'Really?' said Mrs Merdle. + +'Yes,' said Bar. 'Has not the bird been whispering in very different +ears from ours--in lovely ears?' He looked expressively at Mrs Merdle's +nearest ear-ring. + +'Do you mean mine?' asked Mrs Merdle. + +'When I say lovely,' said Bar, 'I always mean you.' + +'You never mean anything, I think,' returned Mrs Merdle (not +displeased). + +'Oh, cruelly unjust!' said Bar. 'But, the bird.' + +'I am the last person in the world to hear news,' observed Mrs Merdle, +carelessly arranging her stronghold. 'Who is it?' + +'What an admirable witness you would make!' said Bar. 'No jury (unless +we could empanel one of blind men) could resist you, if you were ever so +bad a one; but you would be such a good one!' + +'Why, you ridiculous man?' asked Mrs Merdle, laughing. + +Bar waved his double eye-glass three or four times between himself and +the Bosom, as a rallying answer, and inquired in his most insinuating +accents: + +'What am I to call the most elegant, accomplished and charming of women, +a few weeks, or it may be a few days, hence?' + +'Didn't your bird tell you what to call her?' answered Mrs Merdle. 'Do +ask it to-morrow, and tell me the next time you see me what it says.' + +This led to further passages of similar pleasantry between the two; but +Bar, with all his sharpness, got nothing out of them. Physician, on the +other hand, taking Mrs Merdle down to her carriage and attending on her +as she put on her cloak, inquired into the symptoms with his usual calm +directness. + +'May I ask,' he said, 'is this true about Merdle?' + +'My dear doctor,' she returned, 'you ask me the very question that I was +half disposed to ask you.' + +'To ask me! Why me?' + +'Upon my honour, I think Mr Merdle reposes greater confidence in you +than in any one.' + +'On the contrary, he tells me absolutely nothing, even professionally. +You have heard the talk, of course?' + +'Of course I have. But you know what Mr Merdle is; you know how +taciturn and reserved he is. I assure you I have no idea what foundation +for it there may be. I should like it to be true; why should I deny that +to you? You would know better, if I did!' + +'Just so,' said Physician. + +'But whether it is all true, or partly true, or entirely false, I am +wholly unable to say. It is a most provoking situation, a most absurd +situation; but you know Mr Merdle, and are not surprised.' + +Physician was not surprised, handed her into her carriage, and bade her +Good Night. He stood for a moment at his own hall door, looking sedately +at the elegant equipage as it rattled away. On his return up-stairs, the +rest of the guests soon dispersed, and he was left alone. Being a great +reader of all kinds of literature (and never at all apologetic for that +weakness), he sat down comfortably to read. + +The clock upon his study table pointed to a few minutes short of twelve, +when his attention was called to it by a ringing at the door bell. A man +of plain habits, he had sent his servants to bed and must needs go down +to open the door. He went down, and there found a man without hat or +coat, whose shirt sleeves were rolled up tight to his shoulders. For a +moment, he thought the man had been fighting: the rather, as he was much +agitated and out of breath. A second look, however, showed him that +the man was particularly clean, and not otherwise discomposed as to his +dress than as it answered this description. + +'I come from the warm-baths, sir, round in the neighbouring street.' + +'And what is the matter at the warm-baths?' + +'Would you please to come directly, sir. We found that, lying on the +table.' + +He put into the physician's hand a scrap of paper. Physician looked at +it, and read his own name and address written in pencil; nothing more. +He looked closer at the writing, looked at the man, took his hat from +its peg, put the key of his door in his pocket, and they hurried away +together. + +When they came to the warm-baths, all the other people belonging to that +establishment were looking out for them at the door, and running up and +down the passages. 'Request everybody else to keep back, if you please,' +said the physician aloud to the master; 'and do you take me straight to +the place, my friend,' to the messenger. + +The messenger hurried before him, along a grove of little rooms, +and turning into one at the end of the grove, looked round the door. +Physician was close upon him, and looked round the door too. + +There was a bath in that corner, from which the water had been hastily +drained off. Lying in it, as in a grave or sarcophagus, with a hurried +drapery of sheet and blanket thrown across it, was the body of a +heavily-made man, with an obtuse head, and coarse, mean, common +features. A sky-light had been opened to release the steam with which +the room had been filled; but it hung, condensed into water-drops, +heavily upon the walls, and heavily upon the face and figure in the +bath. The room was still hot, and the marble of the bath still warm; but +the face and figure were clammy to the touch. The white marble at the +bottom of the bath was veined with a dreadful red. On the ledge at +the side, were an empty laudanum-bottle and a tortoise-shell handled +penknife--soiled, but not with ink. + +'Separation of jugular vein--death rapid--been dead at least half an +hour.' This echo of the physician's words ran through the passages +and little rooms, and through the house while he was yet straightening +himself from having bent down to reach to the bottom of the bath, and +while he was yet dabbling his hands in water; redly veining it as the +marble was veined, before it mingled into one tint. + +He turned his eyes to the dress upon the sofa, and to the watch, money, +and pocket-book on the table. A folded note half buckled up in the +pocket-book, and half protruding from it, caught his observant glance. +He looked at it, touched it, pulled it a little further out from among +the leaves, said quietly, 'This is addressed to me,' and opened and read +it. + +There were no directions for him to give. The people of the house knew +what to do; the proper authorities were soon brought; and they took an +equable business-like possession of the deceased, and of what had been +his property, with no greater disturbance of manner or countenance than +usually attends the winding-up of a clock. Physician was glad to walk +out into the night air--was even glad, in spite of his great experience, +to sit down upon a door-step for a little while: feeling sick and faint. + +Bar was a near neighbour of his, and, when he came to the house, he saw +a light in the room where he knew his friend often sat late getting up +his work. As the light was never there when Bar was not, it gave him +assurance that Bar was not yet in bed. In fact, this busy bee had +a verdict to get to-morrow, against evidence, and was improving the +shining hours in setting snares for the gentlemen of the jury. + +Physician's knock astonished Bar; but, as he immediately suspected that +somebody had come to tell him that somebody else was robbing him, or +otherwise trying to get the better of him, he came down promptly and +softly. He had been clearing his head with a lotion of cold water, as a +good preparative to providing hot water for the heads of the jury, and +had been reading with the neck of his shirt thrown wide open that he +might the more freely choke the opposite witnesses. In consequence, he +came down, looking rather wild. Seeing Physician, the least expected of +men, he looked wilder and said, 'What's the matter?' + +'You asked me once what Merdle's complaint was.' + +'Extraordinary answer! I know I did.' + +'I told you I had not found out.' + +'Yes. I know you did.' + +'I have found it out.' + +'My God!' said Bar, starting back, and clapping his hand upon the +other's breast. 'And so have I! I see it in your face.' + +They went into the nearest room, where Physician gave him the letter to +read. He read it through half-a-dozen times. There was not much in it +as to quantity; but it made a great demand on his close and continuous +attention. He could not sufficiently give utterance to his regret that +he had not himself found a clue to this. The smallest clue, he said, +would have made him master of the case, and what a case it would have +been to have got to the bottom of! + +Physician had engaged to break the intelligence in Harley Street. Bar +could not at once return to his inveiglements of the most enlightened +and remarkable jury he had ever seen in that box, with whom, he could +tell his learned friend, no shallow sophistry would go down, and no +unhappily abused professional tact and skill prevail (this was the way +he meant to begin with them); so he said he would go too, and would +loiter to and fro near the house while his friend was inside. They +walked there, the better to recover self-possession in the air; and the +wings of day were fluttering the night when Physician knocked at the +door. + +A footman of rainbow hues, in the public eye, was sitting up for his +master--that is to say, was fast asleep in the kitchen over a couple +of candles and a newspaper, demonstrating the great accumulation of +mathematical odds against the probabilities of a house being set on fire +by accident When this serving man was roused, Physician had still to +await the rousing of the Chief Butler. At last that noble creature came +into the dining-room in a flannel gown and list shoes; but with his +cravat on, and a Chief Butler all over. It was morning now. Physician +had opened the shutters of one window while waiting, that he might see +the light. + +'Mrs Merdle's maid must be called, and told to get Mrs Merdle up, and +prepare her as gently as she can to see me. I have dreadful news to +break to her.' + +Thus Physician to the Chief Butler. The latter, who had a candle in his +hand, called his man to take it away. Then he approached the window with +dignity; looking on at Physician's news exactly as he had looked on at +the dinners in that very room. + +'Mr Merdle is dead.' + +'I should wish,' said the Chief Butler, 'to give a month's notice.' + +'Mr Merdle has destroyed himself.' + +'Sir,' said the Chief Butler, 'that is very unpleasant to the feelings +of one in my position, as calculated to awaken prejudice; and I should +wish to leave immediately.' + +'If you are not shocked, are you not surprised, man?' demanded the +Physician, warmly. + +The Chief Butler, erect and calm, replied in these memorable words. +'Sir, Mr Merdle never was the gentleman, and no ungentlemanly act on +Mr Merdle's part would surprise me. Is there anybody else I can send to +you, or any other directions I can give before I leave, respecting what +you would wish to be done?' + +When Physician, after discharging himself of his trust up-stairs, +rejoined Bar in the street, he said no more of his interview with Mrs +Merdle than that he had not yet told her all, but that what he had told +her she had borne pretty well. Bar had devoted his leisure in the street +to the construction of a most ingenious man-trap for catching the whole +of his jury at a blow; having got that matter settled in his mind, +it was lucid on the late catastrophe, and they walked home slowly, +discussing it in every bearing. Before parting at the Physician's door, +they both looked up at the sunny morning sky, into which the smoke of a +few early fires and the breath and voices of a few early stirrers were +peacefully rising, and then looked round upon the immense city, and +said, if all those hundreds and thousands of beggared people who were +yet asleep could only know, as they two spoke, the ruin that impended +over them, what a fearful cry against one miserable soul would go up to +Heaven! + +The report that the great man was dead, got about with astonishing +rapidity. At first, he was dead of all the diseases that ever were +known, and of several bran-new maladies invented with the speed of +Light to meet the demand of the occasion. He had concealed a dropsy from +infancy, he had inherited a large estate of water on the chest from his +grandfather, he had had an operation performed upon him every morning +of his life for eighteen years, he had been subject to the explosion of +important veins in his body after the manner of fireworks, he had had +something the matter with his lungs, he had had something the matter +with his heart, he had had something the matter with his brain. Five +hundred people who sat down to breakfast entirely uninformed on the +whole subject, believed before they had done breakfast, that they +privately and personally knew Physician to have said to Mr Merdle, 'You +must expect to go out, some day, like the snuff of a candle;' and that +they knew Mr Merdle to have said to Physician, 'A man can die but once.' +By about eleven o'clock in the forenoon, something the matter with the +brain, became the favourite theory against the field; and by twelve the +something had been distinctly ascertained to be 'Pressure.' + +Pressure was so entirely satisfactory to the public mind, and seemed to +make everybody so comfortable, that it might have lasted all day but for +Bar's having taken the real state of the case into Court at half-past +nine. This led to its beginning to be currently whispered all over +London by about one, that Mr Merdle had killed himself. Pressure, +however, so far from being overthrown by the discovery, became a greater +favourite than ever. There was a general moralising upon Pressure, in +every street. All the people who had tried to make money and had not +been able to do it, said, There you were! You no sooner began to devote +yourself to the pursuit of wealth than you got Pressure. The idle people +improved the occasion in a similar manner. See, said they, what you +brought yourself to by work, work, work! You persisted in working, you +overdid it. Pressure came on, and you were done for! This consideration +was very potent in many quarters, but nowhere more so than among the +young clerks and partners who had never been in the slightest danger +of overdoing it. These, one and all, declared, quite piously, that they +hoped they would never forget the warning as long as they lived, and +that their conduct might be so regulated as to keep off Pressure, and +preserve them, a comfort to their friends, for many years. + +But, at about the time of High 'Change, Pressure began to wane, and +appalling whispers to circulate, east, west, north, and south. At first +they were faint, and went no further than a doubt whether Mr Merdle's +wealth would be found to be as vast as had been supposed; whether there +might not be a temporary difficulty in 'realising' it; whether there +might not even be a temporary suspension (say a month or so), on the +part of the wonderful Bank. As the whispers became louder, which they +did from that time every minute, they became more threatening. He had +sprung from nothing, by no natural growth or process that any one could +account for; he had been, after all, a low, ignorant fellow; he had been +a down-looking man, and no one had ever been able to catch his eye; +he had been taken up by all sorts of people in quite an unaccountable +manner; he had never had any money of his own, his ventures had been +utterly reckless, and his expenditure had been most enormous. In steady +progression, as the day declined, the talk rose in sound and purpose. +He had left a letter at the Baths addressed to his physician, and his +physician had got the letter, and the letter would be produced at the +Inquest on the morrow, and it would fall like a thunderbolt upon the +multitude he had deluded. Numbers of men in every profession and trade +would be blighted by his insolvency; old people who had been in easy +circumstances all their lives would have no place of repentance for +their trust in him but the workhouse; legions of women and children +would have their whole future desolated by the hand of this mighty +scoundrel. Every partaker of his magnificent feasts would be seen to +have been a sharer in the plunder of innumerable homes; every servile +worshipper of riches who had helped to set him on his pedestal, would +have done better to worship the Devil point-blank. So, the talk, lashed +louder and higher by confirmation on confirmation, and by edition after +edition of the evening papers, swelled into such a roar when night came, +as might have brought one to believe that a solitary watcher on the +gallery above the Dome of St Paul's would have perceived the night air +to be laden with a heavy muttering of the name of Merdle, coupled with +every form of execration. + +For by that time it was known that the late Mr Merdle's complaint +had been simply Forgery and Robbery. He, the uncouth object of such +wide-spread adulation, the sitter at great men's feasts, the roc's egg +of great ladies' assemblies, the subduer of exclusiveness, the leveller +of pride, the patron of patrons, the bargain-driver with a Minister +for Lordships of the Circumlocution Office, the recipient of more +acknowledgment within some ten or fifteen years, at most, than had been +bestowed in England upon all peaceful public benefactors, and upon +all the leaders of all the Arts and Sciences, with all their works to +testify for them, during two centuries at least--he, the shining wonder, +the new constellation to be followed by the wise men bringing gifts, +until it stopped over a certain carrion at the bottom of a bath and +disappeared--was simply the greatest Forger and the greatest Thief that +ever cheated the gallows. + + + + +CHAPTER 26. Reaping the Whirlwind + + +With a precursory sound of hurried breath and hurried feet, Mr Pancks +rushed into Arthur Clennam's Counting-house. The Inquest was over, the +letter was public, the Bank was broken, the other model structures of +straw had taken fire and were turned to smoke. The admired piratical +ship had blown up, in the midst of a vast fleet of ships of all rates, +and boats of all sizes; and on the deep was nothing but ruin; nothing +but burning hulls, bursting magazines, great guns self-exploded tearing +friends and neighbours to pieces, drowning men clinging to unseaworthy +spars and going down every minute, spent swimmers, floating dead, and +sharks. + +The usual diligence and order of the Counting-house at the Works were +overthrown. Unopened letters and unsorted papers lay strewn about the +desk. In the midst of these tokens of prostrated energy and dismissed +hope, the master of the Counting-house stood idle in his usual place, +with his arms crossed on the desk, and his head bowed down upon them. + +Mr Pancks rushed in and saw him, and stood still. In another minute, Mr +Pancks's arms were on the desk, and Mr Pancks's head was bowed down +upon them; and for some time they remained in these attitudes, idle and +silent, with the width of the little room between them. + +Mr Pancks was the first to lift up his head and speak. + +'I persuaded you to it, Mr Clennam. I know it. Say what you will. You +can't say more to me than I say to myself. You can't say more than I +deserve.' + +'O, Pancks, Pancks!' returned Clennam, 'don't speak of deserving. What +do I myself deserve!' + +'Better luck,' said Pancks. + +'I,' pursued Clennam, without attending to him, 'who have ruined my +partner! Pancks, Pancks, I have ruined Doyce! The honest, self-helpful, +indefatigable old man who has worked his way all through his life; +the man who has contended against so much disappointment, and who has +brought out of it such a good and hopeful nature; the man I have felt +so much for, and meant to be so true and useful to; I have ruined +him--brought him to shame and disgrace--ruined him, ruined him!' + +The agony into which the reflection wrought his mind was so distressing +to see, that Mr Pancks took hold of himself by the hair of his head, and +tore it in desperation at the spectacle. + +'Reproach me!' cried Pancks. 'Reproach me, sir, or I'll do myself an +injury. Say,--You fool, you villain. Say,--Ass, how could you do it; +Beast, what did you mean by it! Catch hold of me somewhere. Say +something abusive to me!' All the time, Mr Pancks was tearing at his +tough hair in a most pitiless and cruel manner. + +'If you had never yielded to this fatal mania, Pancks,' said Clennam, +more in commiseration than retaliation, 'it would have been how much +better for you, and how much better for me!' + +'At me again, sir!' cried Pancks, grinding his teeth in remorse. 'At +me again!' + +'If you had never gone into those accursed calculations, and brought out +your results with such abominable clearness,' groaned Clennam, 'it would +have been how much better for you, Pancks, and how much better for me!' + +'At me again, sir!' exclaimed Pancks, loosening his hold of his hair; +'at me again, and again!' + +Clennam, however, finding him already beginning to be pacified, had said +all he wanted to say, and more. He wrung his hand, only adding, 'Blind +leaders of the blind, Pancks! Blind leaders of the blind! But Doyce, +Doyce, Doyce; my injured partner!' That brought his head down on the +desk once more. + +Their former attitudes and their former silence were once more first +encroached upon by Pancks. + +'Not been to bed, sir, since it began to get about. Been high and low, +on the chance of finding some hope of saving any cinders from the fire. +All in vain. All gone. All vanished.' + +'I know it,' returned Clennam, 'too well.' + +Mr Pancks filled up a pause with a groan that came out of the very +depths of his soul. + +'Only yesterday, Pancks,' said Arthur; 'only yesterday, Monday, I had +the fixed intention of selling, realising, and making an end of it.' + +'I can't say as much for myself, sir,' returned Pancks. 'Though it's +wonderful how many people I've heard of, who were going to realise +yesterday, of all days in the three hundred and sixty-five, if it hadn't +been too late!' + +His steam-like breathings, usually droll in their effect, were more +tragic than so many groans: while from head to foot, he was in that +begrimed, besmeared, neglected state, that he might have been an +authentic portrait of Misfortune which could scarcely be discerned +through its want of cleaning. + +'Mr Clennam, had you laid out--everything?' He got over the break before +the last word, and also brought out the last word itself with great +difficulty. + +'Everything.' + +Mr Pancks took hold of his tough hair again, and gave it such a wrench +that he pulled out several prongs of it. After looking at these with an +eye of wild hatred, he put them in his pocket. + +'My course,' said Clennam, brushing away some tears that had been +silently dropping down his face, 'must be taken at once. What wretched +amends I can make must be made. I must clear my unfortunate partner's +reputation. I must retain nothing for myself. I must resign to our +creditors the power of management I have so much abused, and I must work +out as much of my fault--or crime--as is susceptible of being worked out +in the rest of my days.' + +'Is it impossible, sir, to tide over the present?' + +'Out of the question. Nothing can be tided over now, Pancks. The sooner +the business can pass out of my hands, the better for it. There are +engagements to be met, this week, which would bring the catastrophe +before many days were over, even if I would postpone it for a single day +by going on for that space, secretly knowing what I know. All last night +I thought of what I would do; what remains is to do it.' + +'Not entirely of yourself?' said Pancks, whose face was as damp as if +his steam were turning into water as fast as he dismally blew it off. +'Have some legal help.' + +'Perhaps I had better.' + +'Have Rugg.' + +'There is not much to do. He will do it as well as another.' + +'Shall I fetch Rugg, Mr Clennam?' + +'If you could spare the time, I should be much obliged to you.' + +Mr Pancks put on his hat that moment, and steamed away to Pentonville. +While he was gone Arthur never raised his head from the desk, but +remained in that one position. + +Mr Pancks brought his friend and professional adviser, Mr Rugg, back +with him. Mr Rugg had had such ample experience, on the road, of Mr +Pancks's being at that present in an irrational state of mind, that he +opened his professional mediation by requesting that gentleman to take +himself out of the way. Mr Pancks, crushed and submissive, obeyed. + +'He is not unlike what my daughter was, sir, when we began the Breach of +Promise action of Rugg and Bawkins, in which she was Plaintiff,' said +Mr Rugg. 'He takes too strong and direct an interest in the case. His +feelings are worked upon. There is no getting on, in our profession, +with feelings worked upon, sir.' + +As he pulled off his gloves and put them in his hat, he saw, in a side +glance or two, that a great change had come over his client. + +'I am sorry to perceive, sir,' said Mr Rugg, 'that you have been +allowing your own feelings to be worked upon. Now, pray don't, pray +don't. These losses are much to be deplored, sir, but we must look 'em +in the face.' + +'If the money I have sacrificed had been all my own, Mr Rugg,' sighed Mr +Clennam, 'I should have cared far less.' + +'Indeed, sir?' said Mr Rugg, rubbing his hands with a cheerful air. +'You surprise me. That's singular, sir. I have generally found, in my +experience, that it's their own money people are most particular about. +I have seen people get rid of a good deal of other people's money, and +bear it very well: very well indeed.' + +With these comforting remarks, Mr Rugg seated himself on an office-stool +at the desk and proceeded to business. + +'Now, Mr Clennam, by your leave, let us go into the matter. Let us see +the state of the case. The question is simple. The question is the +usual plain, straightforward, common-sense question. What can we do for +ourself? What can we do for ourself?' + +'This is not the question with me, Mr Rugg,' said Arthur. 'You mistake +it in the beginning. It is, what can I do for my partner, how can I best +make reparation to him?' + +'I am afraid, sir, do you know,' argued Mr Rugg persuasively, 'that you +are still allowing your feeling to be worked upon. I _don't_ like the term +"reparation," sir, except as a lever in the hands of counsel. Will you +excuse my saying that I feel it my duty to offer you the caution, that +you really must not allow your feelings to be worked upon?' + +'Mr Rugg,' said Clennam, nerving himself to go through with what he +had resolved upon, and surprising that gentleman by appearing, in his +despondency, to have a settled determination of purpose; 'you give me +the impression that you will not be much disposed to adopt the course +I have made up my mind to take. If your disapproval of it should render +you unwilling to discharge such business as it necessitates, I am sorry +for it, and must seek other aid. But I will represent to you at once, +that to argue against it with me is useless.' + +'Good, sir,' answered Mr Rugg, shrugging his shoulders. 'Good, sir. Since +the business is to be done by some hands, let it be done by mine. Such +was my principle in the case of Rugg and Bawkins. Such is my principle +in most cases.' + +Clennam then proceeded to state to Mr Rugg his fixed resolution. He told +Mr Rugg that his partner was a man of great simplicity and integrity, +and that in all he meant to do, he was guided above all things by a +knowledge of his partner's character, and a respect for his feelings. +He explained that his partner was then absent on an enterprise of +importance, and that it particularly behoved himself publicly to accept +the blame of what he had rashly done, and publicly to exonerate his +partner from all participation in the responsibility of it, lest the +successful conduct of that enterprise should be endangered by the +slightest suspicion wrongly attaching to his partner's honour and credit +in another country. He told Mr Rugg that to clear his partner morally, +to the fullest extent, and publicly and unreservedly to declare that +he, Arthur Clennam, of that Firm, had of his own sole act, and even +expressly against his partner's caution, embarked its resources in the +swindles that had lately perished, was the only real atonement within +his power; was a better atonement to the particular man than it would be +to many men; and was therefore the atonement he had first to make. With +this view, his intention was to print a declaration to the foregoing +effect, which he had already drawn up; and, besides circulating it +among all who had dealings with the House, to advertise it in the public +papers. Concurrently with this measure (the description of which cost Mr +Rugg innumerable wry faces and great uneasiness in his limbs), he would +address a letter to all the creditors, exonerating his partner in a +solemn manner, informing them of the stoppage of the House until their +pleasure could be known and his partner communicated with, and humbly +submitting himself to their direction. If, through their consideration +for his partner's innocence, the affairs could ever be got into such +train as that the business could be profitably resumed, and its present +downfall overcome, then his own share in it should revert to his +partner, as the only reparation he could make to him in money value for +the distress and loss he had unhappily brought upon him, and he himself, +at as small a salary as he could live upon, would ask to be allowed to +serve the business as a faithful clerk. + +Though Mr Rugg saw plainly there was no preventing this from being done, +still the wryness of his face and the uneasiness of his limbs so sorely +required the propitiation of a Protest, that he made one. 'I offer no +objection, sir,' said he, 'I argue no point with you. I will carry out +your views, sir; but, under protest.' Mr Rugg then stated, not without +prolixity, the heads of his protest. These were, in effect, because the +whole town, or he might say the whole country, was in the first madness +of the late discovery, and the resentment against the victims would be +very strong: those who had not been deluded being certain to wax +exceedingly wroth with them for not having been as wise as they were: +and those who had been deluded being certain to find excuses and reasons +for themselves, of which they were equally certain to see that other +sufferers were wholly devoid: not to mention the great probability of +every individual sufferer persuading himself, to his violent +indignation, that but for the example of all the other sufferers he +never would have put himself in the way of suffering. Because such a +declaration as Clennam's, made at such a time, would certainly draw down +upon him a storm of animosity, rendering it impossible to calculate on +forbearance in the creditors, or on unanimity among them; and exposing +him a solitary target to a straggling cross-fire, which might bring him +down from half-a-dozen quarters at once. + +To all this Clennam merely replied that, granting the whole protest, +nothing in it lessened the force, or could lessen the force, of the +voluntary and public exoneration of his partner. He therefore, once +and for all, requested Mr Rugg's immediate aid in getting the business +despatched. Upon that, Mr Rugg fell to work; and Arthur, retaining no +property to himself but his clothes and books, and a little loose +money, placed his small private banker's-account with the papers of the +business. + +The disclosure was made, and the storm raged fearfully. Thousands of +people were wildly staring about for somebody alive to heap reproaches +on; and this notable case, courting publicity, set the living somebody +so much wanted, on a scaffold. When people who had nothing to do with +the case were so sensible of its flagrancy, people who lost money by it +could scarcely be expected to deal mildly with it. Letters of reproach +and invective showered in from the creditors; and Mr Rugg, who sat upon +the high stool every day and read them all, informed his client within a +week that he feared there were writs out. + +'I must take the consequences of what I have done,' said Clennam. 'The +writs will find me here.' + +On the very next morning, as he was turning in Bleeding Heart Yard by +Mrs Plornish's corner, Mrs Plornish stood at the door waiting for him, +and mysteriously besought him to step into Happy Cottage. There he found +Mr Rugg. + +'I thought I'd wait for you here. I wouldn't go on to the Counting-house +this morning if I was you, sir.' + +'Why not, Mr Rugg?' + +'There are as many as five out, to my knowledge.' + +'It cannot be too soon over,' said Clennam. 'Let them take me at once.' + +'Yes, but,' said Mr Rugg, getting between him and the door, 'hear +reason, hear reason. They'll take you soon enough, Mr Clennam, I don't +doubt; but, hear reason. It almost always happens, in these cases, +that some insignificant matter pushes itself in front and makes much +of itself. Now, I find there's a little one out--a mere Palace Court +jurisdiction--and I have reason to believe that a caption may be made +upon that. I wouldn't be taken upon that.' + +'Why not?' asked Clennam. + +'I'd be taken on a full-grown one, sir,' said Mr Rugg. 'It's as well to +keep up appearances. As your professional adviser, I should prefer your +being taken on a writ from one of the Superior Courts, if you have no +objection to do me that favour. It looks better.' + +'Mr Rugg,' said Arthur, in his dejection, 'my only wish is, that it +should be over. I will go on, and take my chance.' + +'Another word of reason, sir!' cried Mr Rugg. 'Now, this _is_ reason. +The other may be taste; but this is reason. If you should be taken on a +little one, sir, you would go to the Marshalsea. Now, you know what the +Marshalsea is. Very close. Excessively confined. Whereas in the King's +Bench--' Mr Rugg waved his right hand freely, as expressing abundance of +space. + +'I would rather,' said Clennam, 'be taken to the Marshalsea than to any +other prison.' + +'Do you say so indeed, sir?' returned Mr Rugg. 'Then this is taste, too, +and we may be walking.' + +He was a little offended at first, but he soon overlooked it. They +walked through the Yard to the other end. The Bleeding Hearts were more +interested in Arthur since his reverses than formerly; now regarding him +as one who was true to the place and had taken up his freedom. Many of +them came out to look after him, and to observe to one another, with +great unctuousness, that he was 'pulled down by it.' Mrs Plornish +and her father stood at the top of the steps at their own end, much +depressed and shaking their heads. + +There was nobody visibly in waiting when Arthur and Mr Rugg arrived +at the Counting-house. But an elderly member of the Jewish persuasion, +preserved in rum, followed them close, and looked in at the glass before +Mr Rugg had opened one of the day's letters. 'Oh!' said Mr Rugg, +looking up. 'How do you do? Step in--Mr Clennam, I think this is the +gentleman I was mentioning.' + +This gentleman explained the object of his visit to be 'a tyfling madder +ob bithznithz,' and executed his legal function. + +'Shall I accompany you, Mr Clennam?' asked Mr Rugg politely, rubbing his +hands. + +'I would rather go alone, thank you. Be so good as send me my clothes.' +Mr Rugg in a light airy way replied in the affirmative, and shook hands +with him. He and his attendant then went down-stairs, got into the first +conveyance they found, and drove to the old gates. + +'Where I little thought, Heaven forgive me,' said Clennam to himself, +'that I should ever enter thus!' + +Mr Chivery was on the Lock, and Young John was in the Lodge: either +newly released from it, or waiting to take his own spell of duty. Both +were more astonished on seeing who the prisoner was, than one might have +thought turnkeys would have been. The elder Mr Chivery shook hands with +him in a shame-faced kind of way, and said, 'I don't call to mind, +sir, as I was ever less glad to see you.' The younger Mr Chivery, more +distant, did not shake hands with him at all; he stood looking at him +in a state of indecision so observable that it even came within the +observation of Clennam with his heavy eyes and heavy heart. Presently +afterwards, Young John disappeared into the jail. + +As Clennam knew enough of the place to know that he was required to +remain in the Lodge a certain time, he took a seat in a corner, and +feigned to be occupied with the perusal of letters from his pocket. +They did not so engross his attention, but that he saw, with gratitude, +how the elder Mr Chivery kept the Lodge clear of prisoners; how he +signed to some, with his keys, not to come in, how he nudged others with +his elbows to go out, and how he made his misery as easy to him as he +could. + +Arthur was sitting with his eyes fixed on the floor, recalling the past, +brooding over the present, and not attending to either, when he felt +himself touched upon the shoulder. It was by Young John; and he said, +'You can come now.' + +He got up and followed Young John. When they had gone a step or two +within the inner iron-gate, Young John turned and said to him: + +'You want a room. I have got you one.' + +'I thank you heartily.' + +Young John turned again, and took him in at the old doorway, up the old +staircase, into the old room. Arthur stretched out his hand. Young John +looked at it, looked at him--sternly--swelled, choked, and said: + +'I don't know as I can. No, I find I can't. But I thought you'd like the +room, and here it is for you.' + +Surprise at this inconsistent behaviour yielded when he was gone (he +went away directly) to the feelings which the empty room awakened in +Clennam's wounded breast, and to the crowding associations with the +one good and gentle creature who had sanctified it. Her absence in his +altered fortunes made it, and him in it, so very desolate and so much in +need of such a face of love and truth, that he turned against the +wall to weep, sobbing out, as his heart relieved itself, 'O my Little +Dorrit!' + + + + +CHAPTER 27. The Pupil of the Marshalsea + + +The day was sunny, and the Marshalsea, with the hot noon striking +upon it, was unwontedly quiet. Arthur Clennam dropped into a solitary +arm-chair, itself as faded as any debtor in the jail, and yielded +himself to his thoughts. + +In the unnatural peace of having gone through the dreaded arrest, and +got there,--the first change of feeling which the prison most commonly +induced, and from which dangerous resting-place so many men had slipped +down to the depths of degradation and disgrace by so many ways,--he +could think of some passages in his life, almost as if he were removed +from them into another state of existence. Taking into account where he +was, the interest that had first brought him there when he had been free +to keep away, and the gentle presence that was equally inseparable from +the walls and bars about him and from the impalpable remembrances of his +later life which no walls or bars could imprison, it was not remarkable +that everything his memory turned upon should bring him round again to +Little Dorrit. Yet it was remarkable to him; not because of the fact +itself, but because of the reminder it brought with it, how much the +dear little creature had influenced his better resolutions. + +None of us clearly know to whom or to what we are indebted in this wise, +until some marked stop in the whirling wheel of life brings the right +perception with it. It comes with sickness, it comes with sorrow, it +comes with the loss of the dearly loved, it is one of the most frequent +uses of adversity. It came to Clennam in his adversity, strongly and +tenderly. 'When I first gathered myself together,' he thought, 'and +set something like purpose before my jaded eyes, whom had I before me, +toiling on, for a good object's sake, without encouragement, without +notice, against ignoble obstacles that would have turned an army of +received heroes and heroines? One weak girl! When I tried to conquer +my misplaced love, and to be generous to the man who was more fortunate +than I, though he should never know it or repay me with a gracious word, +in whom had I watched patience, self-denial, self-subdual, charitable +construction, the noblest generosity of the affections? In the same poor +girl! If I, a man, with a man's advantages and means and energies, had +slighted the whisper in my heart, that if my father had erred, it was my +first duty to conceal the fault and to repair it, what youthful figure +with tender feet going almost bare on the damp ground, with spare hands +ever working, with its slight shape but half protected from the +sharp weather, would have stood before me to put me to shame? Little +Dorrit's.' So always as he sat alone in the faded chair, thinking. +Always, Little Dorrit. Until it seemed to him as if he met the reward of +having wandered away from her, and suffered anything to pass between him +and his remembrance of her virtues. + +His door was opened, and the head of the elder Chivery was put in a very +little way, without being turned towards him. + +'I am off the Lock, Mr Clennam, and going out. Can I do anything for +you?' + +'Many thanks. Nothing.' + +'You'll excuse me opening the door,' said Mr Chivery; 'but I couldn't +make you hear.' + +'Did you knock?' 'Half-a-dozen times.' + +Rousing himself, Clennam observed that the prison had awakened from its +noontide doze, that the inmates were loitering about the shady yard, and +that it was late in the afternoon. He had been thinking for hours. + +'Your things is come,' said Mr Chivery, 'and my son is going to carry +'em up. I should have sent 'em up but for his wishing to carry 'em +himself. Indeed he would have 'em himself, and so I couldn't send 'em +up. Mr Clennam, could I say a word to you?' + +'Pray come in,' said Arthur; for Mr Chivery's head was still put in at +the door a very little way, and Mr Chivery had but one ear upon him, +instead of both eyes. This was native delicacy in Mr Chivery--true +politeness; though his exterior had very much of a turnkey about it, and +not the least of a gentleman. + +'Thank you, sir,' said Mr Chivery, without advancing; 'it's no odds me +coming in. Mr Clennam, don't you take no notice of my son (if you'll +be so good) in case you find him cut up anyways difficult. My son has a +'art, and my son's 'art is in the right place. Me and his mother knows +where to find it, and we find it sitiwated correct.' + +With this mysterious speech, Mr Chivery took his ear away and shut the +door. He might have been gone ten minutes, when his son succeeded him. + +'Here's your portmanteau,' he said to Arthur, putting it carefully down. + +'It's very kind of you. I am ashamed that you should have the trouble.' + +He was gone before it came to that; but soon returned, saying exactly as +before, 'Here's your black box:' which he also put down with care. + +'I am very sensible of this attention. I hope we may shake hands now, Mr +John.' + +Young John, however, drew back, turning his right wrist in a socket made +of his left thumb and middle-finger and said as he had said at first, +'I don't know as I can. No; I find I can't!' He then stood regarding the +prisoner sternly, though with a swelling humour in his eyes that looked +like pity. + +'Why are you angry with me,' said Clennam, 'and yet so ready to do me +these kind services? There must be some mistake between us. If I have +done anything to occasion it I am sorry.' + +'No mistake, sir,' returned John, turning the wrist backwards and +forwards in the socket, for which it was rather tight. 'No mistake, sir, +in the feelings with which my eyes behold you at the present moment! If +I was at all fairly equal to your weight, Mr Clennam--which I am not; +and if you weren't under a cloud--which you are; and if it wasn't +against all rules of the Marshalsea--which it is; those feelings are +such, that they would stimulate me, more to having it out with you in +a Round on the present spot than to anything else I could name.' + +Arthur looked at him for a moment in some wonder, and some little anger. +'Well, well!' he said. 'A mistake, a mistake!' Turning away, he sat down +with a heavy sigh in the faded chair again. + +Young John followed him with his eyes, and, after a short pause, cried +out, 'I beg your pardon!' + +'Freely granted,' said Clennam, waving his hand without raising his +sunken head. 'Say no more. I am not worth it.' + +'This furniture, sir,' said Young John in a voice of mild and soft +explanation, 'belongs to me. I am in the habit of letting it out to +parties without furniture, that have the room. It an't much, but it's at +your service. Free, I mean. I could not think of letting you have it on +any other terms. You're welcome to it for nothing.' + +Arthur raised his head again to thank him, and to say he could +not accept the favour. John was still turning his wrist, and still +contending with himself in his former divided manner. + +'What is the matter between us?' said Arthur. + +'I decline to name it, sir,' returned Young John, suddenly turning loud +and sharp. 'Nothing's the matter.' + +Arthur looked at him again, in vain, for an explanation of his +behaviour. After a while, Arthur turned away his head again. Young John +said, presently afterwards, with the utmost mildness: + +'The little round table, sir, that's nigh your elbow, was--you know +whose--I needn't mention him--he died a great gentleman. I bought it of +an individual that he gave it to, and that lived here after him. But the +individual wasn't any ways equal to him. Most individuals would find it +hard to come up to his level.' + +Arthur drew the little table nearer, rested his arm upon it, and kept it +there. + +'Perhaps you may not be aware, sir,' said Young John, 'that I intruded +upon him when he was over here in London. On the whole he was of opinion +that it _was_ an intrusion, though he was so good as to ask me to sit +down and to inquire after father and all other old friends. Leastways +humblest acquaintances. He looked, to me, a good deal changed, and I +said so when I came back. I asked him if Miss Amy was well--' + +'And she was?' + +'I should have thought you would have known without putting the question +to such as me,' returned Young John, after appearing to take a large +invisible pill. 'Since you do put me the question, I am sorry I can't +answer it. But the truth is, he looked upon the inquiry as a liberty, +and said, "What was that to me?" It was then I became quite aware I was +intruding: of which I had been fearful before. However, he spoke very +handsome afterwards; very handsome.' + +They were both silent for several minutes: except that Young John +remarked, at about the middle of the pause, 'He both spoke and acted +very handsome.' + +It was again Young John who broke the silence by inquiring: + +'If it's not a liberty, how long may it be your intentions, sir, to go +without eating and drinking?' + +'I have not felt the want of anything yet,' returned Clennam. 'I have no +appetite just now.' + +'The more reason why you should take some support, sir,' urged Young +John. 'If you find yourself going on sitting here for hours and hours +partaking of no refreshment because you have no appetite, why then you +should and must partake of refreshment without an appetite. I'm going to +have tea in my own apartment. If it's not a liberty, please to come and +take a cup. Or I can bring a tray here in two minutes.' + +Feeling that Young John would impose that trouble on himself if he +refused, and also feeling anxious to show that he bore in mind both +the elder Mr Chivery's entreaty, and the younger Mr Chivery's apology, +Arthur rose and expressed his willingness to take a cup of tea in Mr +John's apartment. Young John locked his door for him as they went out, +slided the key into his pocket with great dexterity, and led the way to +his own residence. + +It was at the top of the house nearest to the gateway. It was the room +to which Clennam had hurried on the day when the enriched family had +left the prison for ever, and where he had lifted her insensible from +the floor. He foresaw where they were going as soon as their feet +touched the staircase. The room was so far changed that it was papered +now, and had been repainted, and was far more comfortably furnished; but +he could recall it just as he had seen it in that single glance, when he +raised her from the ground and carried her down to the carriage. + +Young John looked hard at him, biting his fingers. + +'I see you recollect the room, Mr Clennam?' + +'I recollect it well, Heaven bless her!' + +Oblivious of the tea, Young John continued to bite his fingers and to +look at his visitor, as long as his visitor continued to glance about +the room. Finally, he made a start at the teapot, gustily rattled a +quantity of tea into it from a canister, and set off for the common +kitchen to fill it with hot water. + +The room was so eloquent to Clennam in the changed circumstances of his +return to the miserable Marshalsea; it spoke to him so mournfully of +her, and of his loss of her; that it would have gone hard with him to +resist it, even though he had not been alone. Alone, he did not try. +He had his hand on the insensible wall as tenderly as if it had been +herself that he touched, and pronounced her name in a low voice. He +stood at the window, looking over the prison-parapet with its grim +spiked border, and breathed a benediction through the summer haze +towards the distant land where she was rich and prosperous. + +Young John was some time absent, and, when he came back, showed that he +had been outside by bringing with him fresh butter in a cabbage leaf, +some thin slices of boiled ham in another cabbage leaf, and a little +basket of water-cresses and salad herbs. When these were arranged upon +the table to his satisfaction, they sat down to tea. + +Clennam tried to do honour to the meal, but unavailingly. The ham +sickened him, the bread seemed to turn to sand in his mouth. He could +force nothing upon himself but a cup of tea. + +'Try a little something green,' said Young John, handing him the basket. + +He took a sprig or so of water-cress, and tried again; but the bread +turned to a heavier sand than before, and the ham (though it was good +enough of itself) seemed to blow a faint simoom of ham through the whole +Marshalsea. + +'Try a little more something green, sir,' said Young John; and again +handed the basket. + +It was so like handing green meat into the cage of a dull imprisoned +bird, and John had so evidently brought the little basket as a handful +of fresh relief from the stale hot paving-stones and bricks of the jail, +that Clennam said, with a smile, 'It was very kind of you to think of +putting this between the wires; but I cannot even get this down to-day.' + +As if the difficulty were contagious, Young John soon pushed away his +own plate, and fell to folding the cabbage-leaf that had contained the +ham. When he had folded it into a number of layers, one over another, +so that it was small in the palm of his hand, he began to flatten it +between both his hands, and to eye Clennam attentively. + +'I wonder,' he at length said, compressing his green packet with some +force, 'that if it's not worth your while to take care of yourself for +your own sake, it's not worth doing for some one else's.' + +'Truly,' returned Arthur, with a sigh and a smile, 'I don't know for +whose.' + +'Mr Clennam,' said John, warmly, 'I am surprised that a gentleman who +is capable of the straightforwardness that you are capable of, should be +capable of the mean action of making me such an answer. Mr Clennam, I am +surprised that a gentleman who is capable of having a heart of his own, +should be capable of the heartlessness of treating mine in that way. I +am astonished at it, sir. Really and truly I am astonished!' + +Having got upon his feet to emphasise his concluding words, Young John +sat down again, and fell to rolling his green packet on his right leg; +never taking his eyes off Clennam, but surveying him with a fixed look +of indignant reproach. + +'I had got over it, sir,' said John. 'I had conquered it, knowing that +it _must_ be conquered, and had come to the resolution to think no more +about it. I shouldn't have given my mind to it again, I hope, if to this +prison you had not been brought, and in an hour unfortunate for me, +this day!' (In his agitation Young John adopted his mother's powerful +construction of sentences.) 'When you first came upon me, sir, in the +Lodge, this day, more as if a Upas tree had been made a capture of than +a private defendant, such mingled streams of feelings broke loose again +within me, that everything was for the first few minutes swept away +before them, and I was going round and round in a vortex. I got out of +it. I struggled, and got out of it. If it was the last word I had to +speak, against that vortex with my utmost powers I strove, and out of it +I came. I argued that if I had been rude, apologies was due, and those +apologies without a question of demeaning, I did make. And now, when +I've been so wishful to show that one thought is next to being a holy +one with me and goes before all others--now, after all, you dodge me +when I ever so gently hint at it, and throw me back upon myself. For, do +not, sir,' said Young John, 'do not be so base as to deny that dodge you +do, and thrown me back upon myself you have!' + +All amazement, Arthur gazed at him like one lost, only saying, 'What is +it? What do you mean, John?' But, John, being in that state of mind in +which nothing would seem to be more impossible to a certain class of +people than the giving of an answer, went ahead blindly. + +'I hadn't,' John declared, 'no, I hadn't, and I never had the +audaciousness to think, I am sure, that all was anything but lost. I +hadn't, no, why should I say I hadn't if I ever had, any hope that it +was possible to be so blest, not after the words that passed, not even +if barriers insurmountable had not been raised! But is that a reason why +I am to have no memory, why I am to have no thoughts, why I am to have +no sacred spots, nor anything?' + +'What can you mean?' cried Arthur. + +'It's all very well to trample on it, sir,' John went on, scouring a +very prairie of wild words, 'if a person can make up his mind to be +guilty of the action. It's all very well to trample on it, but it's +there. It may be that it couldn't be trampled upon if it wasn't there. +But that doesn't make it gentlemanly, that doesn't make it honourable, +that doesn't justify throwing a person back upon himself after he has +struggled and strived out of himself like a butterfly. The world may +sneer at a turnkey, but he's a man--when he isn't a woman, which among +female criminals he's expected to be.' + +Ridiculous as the incoherence of his talk was, there was yet a +truthfulness in Young John's simple, sentimental character, and a sense +of being wounded in some very tender respect, expressed in his burning +face and in the agitation of his voice and manner, which Arthur must +have been cruel to disregard. He turned his thoughts back to the +starting-point of this unknown injury; and in the meantime Young John, +having rolled his green packet pretty round, cut it carefully into three +pieces, and laid it on a plate as if it were some particular delicacy. + +'It seems to me just possible,' said Arthur, when he had retraced the +conversation to the water-cresses and back again, 'that you have made +some reference to Miss Dorrit.' + +'It is just possible, sir,' returned John Chivery. + +'I don't understand it. I hope I may not be so unlucky as to make you +think I mean to offend you again, for I never have meant to offend you +yet, when I say I don't understand it.' + +'Sir,' said Young John, 'will you have the perfidy to deny that you know +and long have known that I felt towards Miss Dorrit, call it not the +presumption of love, but adoration and sacrifice?' + +'Indeed, John, I will not have any perfidy if I know it; why you should +suspect me of it I am at a loss to think. Did you ever hear from Mrs +Chivery, your mother, that I went to see her once?' + +'No, sir,' returned John, shortly. 'Never heard of such a thing.' + +'But I did. Can you imagine why?' + +'No, sir,' returned John, shortly. 'I can't imagine why.' + +'I will tell you. I was solicitous to promote Miss Dorrit's happiness; +and if I could have supposed that Miss Dorrit returned your affection--' + +Poor John Chivery turned crimson to the tips of his ears. 'Miss Dorrit +never did, sir. I wish to be honourable and true, so far as in my humble +way I can, and I would scorn to pretend for a moment that she ever did, +or that she ever led me to believe she did; no, nor even that it was +ever to be expected in any cool reason that she would or could. She was +far above me in all respects at all times. As likewise,' added John, +'similarly was her gen-teel family.' + +His chivalrous feeling towards all that belonged to her made him so very +respectable, in spite of his small stature and his rather weak legs, and +his very weak hair, and his poetical temperament, that a Goliath might +have sat in his place demanding less consideration at Arthur's hands. + +'You speak, John,' he said, with cordial admiration, 'like a Man.' + +'Well, sir,' returned John, brushing his hand across his eyes, 'then I +wish you'd do the same.' + +He was quick with this unexpected retort, and it again made Arthur +regard him with a wondering expression of face. + +'Leastways,' said John, stretching his hand across the tea-tray, 'if too +strong a remark, withdrawn! But, why not, why not? When I say to you, +Mr Clennam, take care of yourself for some one else's sake, why not be +open, though a turnkey? Why did I get you the room which I knew you'd +like best? Why did I carry up your things? Not that I found 'em heavy; +I don't mention 'em on that accounts; far from it. Why have I cultivated +you in the manner I have done since the morning? On the ground of your +own merits? No. They're very great, I've no doubt at all; but not on the +ground of them. Another's merits have had their weight, and have had far +more weight with Me. Then why not speak free?' + +'Unaffectedly, John,' said Clennam, 'you are so good a fellow and I have +so true a respect for your character, that if I have appeared to be less +sensible than I really am of the fact that the kind services you have +rendered me to-day are attributable to my having been trusted by +Miss Dorrit as her friend--I confess it to be a fault, and I ask your +forgiveness.' + +'Oh! why not,' John repeated with returning scorn, 'why not speak free!' + +'I declare to you,' returned Arthur, 'that I do not understand you. +Look at me. Consider the trouble I have been in. Is it likely that I +would wilfully add to my other self-reproaches, that of being ungrateful +or treacherous to you. I do not understand you.' + +John's incredulous face slowly softened into a face of doubt. He rose, +backed into the garret-window of the room, beckoned Arthur to come +there, and stood looking at him thoughtfully. + +'Mr Clennam, do you mean to say that you don't know?' + +'What, John?' + +'Lord,' said Young John, appealing with a gasp to the spikes on the +wall. 'He says, What!' + +Clennam looked at the spikes, and looked at John; and looked at the +spikes, and looked at John. + +'He says What! And what is more,' exclaimed Young John, surveying him in +a doleful maze, 'he appears to mean it! Do you see this window, sir?' + +'Of course I see this window.' + +'See this room?' + +'Why, of course I see this room.' + +'That wall opposite, and that yard down below? They have all been +witnesses of it, from day to day, from night to night, from week to +week, from month to month. For how often have I seen Miss Dorrit here +when she has not seen me!' + +'Witnesses of what?' said Clennam. + +'Of Miss Dorrit's love.' + +'For whom?' + +'You,' said John. And touched him with the back of his hand upon the +breast, and backed to his chair, and sat down on it with a pale face, +holding the arms, and shaking his head at him. + +If he had dealt Clennam a heavy blow, instead of laying that light touch +upon him, its effect could not have been to shake him more. He stood +amazed; his eyes looking at John; his lips parted, and seeming now and +then to form the word 'Me!' without uttering it; his hands dropped at +his sides; his whole appearance that of a man who has been awakened from +sleep, and stupefied by intelligence beyond his full comprehension. + +'Me!' he at length said aloud. + +'Ah!' groaned Young John. 'You!' + +He did what he could to muster a smile, and returned, 'Your fancy. You +are completely mistaken.' + +'I mistaken, sir!' said Young John. '_I_ completely mistaken on that +subject! No, Mr Clennam, don't tell me so. On any other, if you like, +for I don't set up to be a penetrating character, and am well aware of +my own deficiencies. But, _I_ mistaken on a point that has caused me +more smart in my breast than a flight of savages' arrows could have +done! _I_ mistaken on a point that almost sent me into my grave, as +I sometimes wished it would, if the grave could only have been made +compatible with the tobacco-business and father and mother's feelings! I +mistaken on a point that, even at the present moment, makes me take out +my pocket-handkerchief like a great girl, as people say: though I am sure +I don't know why a great girl should be a term of reproach, for every +rightly constituted male mind loves 'em great and small. Don't tell me +so, don't tell me so!' + +Still highly respectable at bottom, though absurd enough upon the +surface, Young John took out his pocket-handkerchief with a genuine +absence both of display and concealment, which is only to be seen in +a man with a great deal of good in him, when he takes out his +pocket-handkerchief for the purpose of wiping his eyes. Having dried +them, and indulged in the harmless luxury of a sob and a sniff, he put +it up again. + +The touch was still in its influence so like a blow that Arthur could +not get many words together to close the subject with. He assured John +Chivery when he had returned his handkerchief to his pocket, that he +did all honour to his disinterestedness and to the fidelity of his +remembrance of Miss Dorrit. As to the impression on his mind, of which +he had just relieved it--here John interposed, and said, 'No impression! +Certainty!'--as to that, they might perhaps speak of it at another time, +but would say no more now. Feeling low-spirited and weary, he would go +back to his room, with John's leave, and come out no more that night. +John assented, and he crept back in the shadow of the wall to his own +lodging. + +The feeling of the blow was still so strong upon him that, when the +dirty old woman was gone whom he found sitting on the stairs outside +his door, waiting to make his bed, and who gave him to understand while +doing it, that she had received her instructions from Mr Chivery, 'not +the old 'un but the young 'un,' he sat down in the faded arm-chair, +pressing his head between his hands, as if he had been stunned. Little +Dorrit love him! More bewildering to him than his misery, far. + +Consider the improbability. He had been accustomed to call her his +child, and his dear child, and to invite her confidence by dwelling upon +the difference in their respective ages, and to speak of himself as one +who was turning old. Yet she might not have thought him old. Something +reminded him that he had not thought himself so, until the roses had +floated away upon the river. + +He had her two letters among other papers in his box, and he took them +out and read them. There seemed to be a sound in them like the sound +of her sweet voice. It fell upon his ear with many tones of tenderness, +that were not insusceptible of the new meaning. Now it was that the +quiet desolation of her answer,'No, No, No,' made to him that night +in that very room--that night when he had been shown the dawn of her +altered fortune, and when other words had passed between them which he +had been destined to remember in humiliation and a prisoner, rushed into +his mind. + +Consider the improbability. + +But it had a preponderating tendency, when considered, to become +fainter. There was another and a curious inquiry of his own heart's that +concurrently became stronger. In the reluctance he had felt to believe +that she loved any one; in his desire to set that question at rest; in +a half-formed consciousness he had had that there would be a kind of +nobleness in his helping her love for any one, was there no suppressed +something on his own side that he had hushed as it arose? Had he ever +whispered to himself that he must not think of such a thing as her +loving him, that he must not take advantage of her gratitude, that he +must keep his experience in remembrance as a warning and reproof; +that he must regard such youthful hopes as having passed away, as his +friend's dead daughter had passed away; that he must be steady in saying +to himself that the time had gone by him, and he was too saddened and +old? + +He had kissed her when he raised her from the ground on the day when she +had been so consistently and expressively forgotten. Quite as he might +have kissed her, if she had been conscious? No difference? + +The darkness found him occupied with these thoughts. The darkness also +found Mr and Mrs Plornish knocking at his door. They brought with them a +basket, filled with choice selections from that stock in trade which met +with such a quick sale and produced such a slow return. Mrs Plornish was +affected to tears. Mr Plornish amiably growled, in his philosophical but +not lucid manner, that there was ups you see, and there was downs. It +was in vain to ask why ups, why downs; there they was, you know. He had +heerd it given for a truth that accordin' as the world went round, which +round it did rewolve undoubted, even the best of gentlemen must take his +turn of standing with his ed upside down and all his air a flying +the wrong way into what you might call Space. Wery well then. What +Mr Plornish said was, wery well then. That gentleman's ed would come +up-ards when his turn come, that gentleman's air would be a pleasure to +look upon being all smooth again, and wery well then! + +It has been already stated that Mrs Plornish, not being philosophical, +wept. It further happened that Mrs Plornish, not being philosophical, +was intelligible. It may have arisen out of her softened state of mind, +out of her sex's wit, out of a woman's quick association of ideas, +or out of a woman's no association of ideas, but it further happened +somehow that Mrs Plornish's intelligibility displayed itself upon the +very subject of Arthur's meditations. + +'The way father has been talking about you, Mr Clennam,' said Mrs +Plornish, 'you hardly would believe. It's made him quite poorly. As +to his voice, this misfortune has took it away. You know what a sweet +singer father is; but he couldn't get a note out for the children at +tea, if you'll credit what I tell you.' + +While speaking, Mrs Plornish shook her head, and wiped her eyes, and +looked retrospectively about the room. + +'As to Mr Baptist,' pursued Mrs Plornish, 'whatever he'll do when he +comes to know of it, I can't conceive nor yet imagine. He'd have been +here before now, you may be sure, but that he's away on confidential +business of your own. The persevering manner in which he follows up that +business, and gives himself no rest from it--it really do,' said +Mrs Plornish, winding up in the Italian manner, 'as I say to him, +Mooshattonisha padrona.' + +Though not conceited, Mrs Plornish felt that she had turned this Tuscan +sentence with peculiar elegance. Mr Plornish could not conceal his +exultation in her accomplishments as a linguist. + +'But what I say is, Mr Clennam,' the good woman went on, 'there's always +something to be thankful for, as I am sure you will yourself admit. +Speaking in this room, it's not hard to think what the present something +is. It's a thing to be thankful for, indeed, that Miss Dorrit is not +here to know it.' + +Arthur thought she looked at him with particular expression. + +'It's a thing,' reiterated Mrs Plornish, 'to be thankful for, indeed, +that Miss Dorrit is far away. It's to be hoped she is not likely to hear +of it. If she had been here to see it, sir, it's not to be doubted +that the sight of you,' Mrs Plornish repeated those words--'not to be +doubted, that the sight of you--in misfortune and trouble, would have +been almost too much for her affectionate heart. There's nothing I can +think of, that would have touched Miss Dorrit so bad as that.' + +Of a certainty Mrs Plornish did look at him now, with a sort of +quivering defiance in her friendly emotion. + +'Yes!' said she. 'And it shows what notice father takes, though at his +time of life, that he says to me this afternoon, which Happy Cottage +knows I neither make it up nor any ways enlarge, "Mary, it's much to +be rejoiced in that Miss Dorrit is not on the spot to behold it." Those +were father's words. Father's own words was, "Much to be rejoiced in, +Mary, that Miss Dorrit is not on the spot to behold it." I says to +father then, I says to him, "Father, you are right!" That,' Mrs Plornish +concluded, with the air of a very precise legal witness, 'is what passed +betwixt father and me. And I tell you nothing but what did pass betwixt +me and father.' + +Mr Plornish, as being of a more laconic temperament, embraced this +opportunity of interposing with the suggestion that she should now leave +Mr Clennam to himself. 'For, you see,' said Mr Plornish, gravely, 'I +know what it is, old gal;' repeating that valuable remark several times, +as if it appeared to him to include some great moral secret. Finally, +the worthy couple went away arm in arm. + +Little Dorrit, Little Dorrit. Again, for hours. Always Little Dorrit! + + +Happily, if it ever had been so, it was over, and better over. Granted +that she had loved him, and he had known it and had suffered himself +to love her, what a road to have led her away upon--the road that would +have brought her back to this miserable place! He ought to be much +comforted by the reflection that she was quit of it forever; that she +was, or would soon be, married (vague rumours of her father's projects +in that direction had reached Bleeding Heart Yard, with the news of her +sister's marriage); and that the Marshalsea gate had shut for ever on +all those perplexed possibilities of a time that was gone. + +Dear Little Dorrit. + +Looking back upon his own poor story, she was its vanishing-point. Every +thing in its perspective led to her innocent figure. He had travelled +thousands of miles towards it; previous unquiet hopes and doubts had +worked themselves out before it; it was the centre of the interest +of his life; it was the termination of everything that was good and +pleasant in it; beyond, there was nothing but mere waste and darkened +sky. + +As ill at ease as on the first night of his lying down to sleep within +those dreary walls, he wore the night out with such thoughts. What time +Young John lay wrapt in peaceful slumber, after composing and arranging +the following monumental inscription on his pillow-- + + + STRANGER! + RESPECT THE TOMB OF + JOHN CHIVERY, JUNIOR, + WHO DIED AT AN ADVANCED AGE + NOT NECESSARY TO MENTION. + HE ENCOUNTERED HIS RIVAL IN A DISTRESSED STATE, + AND FELT INCLINED + TO HAVE A ROUND WITH HIM; + BUT, FOR THE SAKE OF THE LOVED ONE, + CONQUERED THOSE FEELINGS OF BITTERNESS, AND BECAME + MAGNANIMOUS. + + + + +CHAPTER 28. An Appearance in the Marshalsea + + +The opinion of the community outside the prison gates bore hard on +Clennam as time went on, and he made no friends among the community +within. Too depressed to associate with the herd in the yard, who got +together to forget their cares; too retiring and too unhappy to join in +the poor socialities of the tavern; he kept his own room, and was held +in distrust. Some said he was proud; some objected that he was +sullen and reserved; some were contemptuous of him, for that he was a +poor-spirited dog who pined under his debts. The whole population were +shy of him on these various counts of indictment, but especially the +last, which involved a species of domestic treason; and he soon became +so confirmed in his seclusion, that his only time for walking up and +down was when the evening Club were assembled at their songs and toasts +and sentiments, and when the yard was nearly left to the women and +children. + +Imprisonment began to tell upon him. He knew that he idled and moped. +After what he had known of the influences of imprisonment within the +four small walls of the very room he occupied, this consciousness made +him afraid of himself. Shrinking from the observation of other men, and +shrinking from his own, he began to change very sensibly. Anybody might +see that the shadow of the wall was dark upon him. + +One day when he might have been some ten or twelve weeks in jail, and +when he had been trying to read and had not been able to release even +the imaginary people of the book from the Marshalsea, a footstep stopped +at his door, and a hand tapped at it. He arose and opened it, and an +agreeable voice accosted him with 'How do you do, Mr Clennam? I hope I +am not unwelcome in calling to see you.' + +It was the sprightly young Barnacle, Ferdinand. He looked very +good-natured and prepossessing, though overpoweringly gay and free, in +contrast with the squalid prison. + +'You are surprised to see me, Mr Clennam,' he said, taking the seat +which Clennam offered him. + +'I must confess to being much surprised.' + +'Not disagreeably, I hope?' + +'By no means.' + +'Thank you. Frankly,' said the engaging young Barnacle, 'I have been +excessively sorry to hear that you were under the necessity of a +temporary retirement here, and I hope (of course as between two private +gentlemen) that our place has had nothing to do with it?' + +'Your office?' + +'Our Circumlocution place.' + +'I cannot charge any part of my reverses upon that remarkable +establishment.' + +'Upon my life,' said the vivacious young Barnacle, 'I am heartily glad to +know it. It is quite a relief to me to hear you say it. I should have +so exceedingly regretted our place having had anything to do with your +difficulties.' + +Clennam again assured him that he absolved it of the responsibility. + +'That's right,' said Ferdinand. 'I am very happy to hear it. I was +rather afraid in my own mind that we might have helped to floor you, +because there is no doubt that it is our misfortune to do that kind +of thing now and then. We don't want to do it; but if men will be +gravelled, why--we can't help it.' + +'Without giving an unqualified assent to what you say,' returned Arthur, +gloomily, 'I am much obliged to you for your interest in me.' + +'No, but really! Our place is,' said the easy young Barnacle, 'the most +inoffensive place possible. You'll say we are a humbug. I won't say +we are not; but all that sort of thing is intended to be, and must be. +Don't you see?' + +'I do not,' said Clennam. + +'You don't regard it from the right point of view. It is the point of +view that is the essential thing. Regard our place from the point of +view that we only ask you to leave us alone, and we are as capital a +Department as you'll find anywhere.' + +'Is your place there to be left alone?' asked Clennam. + +'You exactly hit it,' returned Ferdinand. 'It is there with the express +intention that everything shall be left alone. That is what it means. +That is what it's for. No doubt there's a certain form to be kept up +that it's for something else, but it's only a form. Why, good Heaven, +we are nothing but forms! Think what a lot of our forms you have gone +through. And you have never got any nearer to an end?' + +'Never,' said Clennam. + +'Look at it from the right point of view, and there you have +us--official and effectual. It's like a limited game of cricket. A field +of outsiders are always going in to bowl at the Public Service, and we +block the balls.' + +Clennam asked what became of the bowlers? The airy young Barnacle +replied that they grew tired, got dead beat, got lamed, got their backs +broken, died off, gave it up, went in for other games. + +'And this occasions me to congratulate myself again,' he pursued, +'on the circumstance that our place has had nothing to do with your +temporary retirement. It very easily might have had a hand in it; +because it is undeniable that we are sometimes a most unlucky place, in +our effects upon people who will not leave us alone. Mr Clennam, I am +quite unreserved with you. As between yourself and myself, I know I may +be. I was so, when I first saw you making the mistake of not leaving us +alone; because I perceived that you were inexperienced and sanguine, and +had--I hope you'll not object to my saying--some simplicity?' + +'Not at all.' + +'Some simplicity. Therefore I felt what a pity it was, and I went out +of my way to hint to you (which really was not official, but I never am +official when I can help it) something to the effect that if I were you, +I wouldn't bother myself. However, you did bother yourself, and you have +since bothered yourself. Now, don't do it any more.' + +'I am not likely to have the opportunity,' said Clennam. + +'Oh yes, you are! You'll leave here. Everybody leaves here. There are no +ends of ways of leaving here. Now, don't come back to us. That entreaty +is the second object of my call. Pray, don't come back to us. Upon my +honour,' said Ferdinand in a very friendly and confiding way, 'I shall +be greatly vexed if you don't take warning by the past and keep away +from us.' + +'And the invention?' said Clennam. + +'My good fellow,' returned Ferdinand, 'if you'll excuse the freedom of +that form of address, nobody wants to know of the invention, and nobody +cares twopence-halfpenny about it.' + +'Nobody in the Office, that is to say?' + +'Nor out of it. Everybody is ready to dislike and ridicule any +invention. You have no idea how many people want to be left alone. +You have no idea how the Genius of the country (overlook the +Parliamentary nature of the phrase, and don't be bored by it) tends +to being left alone. Believe me, Mr Clennam,' said the sprightly young +Barnacle in his pleasantest manner, 'our place is not a wicked Giant to +be charged at full tilt; but only a windmill showing you, as it grinds +immense quantities of chaff, which way the country wind blows.' + +'If I could believe that,' said Clennam, 'it would be a dismal prospect +for all of us.' + +'Oh! Don't say so!' returned Ferdinand. 'It's all right. We must have +humbug, we all like humbug, we couldn't get on without humbug. A little +humbug, and a groove, and everything goes on admirably, if you leave it +alone.' + +With this hopeful confession of his faith as the head of the rising +Barnacles who were born of woman, to be followed under a variety of +watchwords which they utterly repudiated and disbelieved, Ferdinand +rose. Nothing could be more agreeable than his frank and courteous +bearing, or adapted with a more gentlemanly instinct to the +circumstances of his visit. + +'Is it fair to ask,' he said, as Clennam gave him his hand with a real +feeling of thankfulness for his candour and good-humour, 'whether it +is true that our late lamented Merdle is the cause of this passing +inconvenience?' + +'I am one of the many he has ruined. Yes.' + +'He must have been an exceedingly clever fellow,' said Ferdinand +Barnacle. + +Arthur, not being in the mood to extol the memory of the deceased, was +silent. + +'A consummate rascal, of course,' said Ferdinand, 'but remarkably +clever! One cannot help admiring the fellow. Must have been such a +master of humbug. Knew people so well--got over them so completely--did +so much with them!' + +In his easy way, he was really moved to genuine admiration. + +'I hope,' said Arthur, 'that he and his dupes may be a warning to people +not to have so much done with them again.' + +'My dear Mr Clennam,' returned Ferdinand, laughing, 'have you really +such a verdant hope? The next man who has as large a capacity and as +genuine a taste for swindling, will succeed as well. Pardon me, but +I think you really have no idea how the human bees will swarm to the +beating of any old tin kettle; in that fact lies the complete manual of +governing them. When they can be got to believe that the kettle is made +of the precious metals, in that fact lies the whole power of men like +our late lamented. No doubt there are here and there,' said Ferdinand +politely, 'exceptional cases, where people have been taken in for what +appeared to them to be much better reasons; and I need not go far to +find such a case; but they don't invalidate the rule. Good day! I hope +that when I have the pleasure of seeing you, next, this passing cloud +will have given place to sunshine. Don't come a step beyond the door. I +know the way out perfectly. Good day!' + +With those words, the best and brightest of the Barnacles went +down-stairs, hummed his way through the Lodge, mounted his horse in the +front court-yard, and rode off to keep an appointment with his noble +kinsman, who wanted a little coaching before he could triumphantly +answer certain infidel Snobs who were going to question the Nobs about +their statesmanship. + +He must have passed Mr Rugg on his way out, for, a minute or two +afterwards, that ruddy-headed gentleman shone in at the door, like an +elderly Phoebus. + +'How do you do to-day, sir?' said Mr Rugg. 'Is there any little thing I +can do for you to-day, sir?' + +'No, I thank you.' + +Mr Rugg's enjoyment of embarrassed affairs was like a housekeeper's +enjoyment in pickling and preserving, or a washerwoman's enjoyment of a +heavy wash, or a dustman's enjoyment of an overflowing dust-bin, or any +other professional enjoyment of a mess in the way of business. + +'I still look round, from time to time, sir,' said Mr Rugg, cheerfully, +'to see whether any lingering Detainers are accumulating at the gate. +They have fallen in pretty thick, sir; as thick as we could have +expected.' + +He remarked upon the circumstance as if it were matter of +congratulation: rubbing his hands briskly, and rolling his head a +little. + +'As thick,' repeated Mr Rugg, 'as we could reasonably have expected. +Quite a shower-bath of 'em. I don't often intrude upon you now, when I +look round, because I know you are not inclined for company, and that if +you wished to see me, you would leave word in the Lodge. But I am here +pretty well every day, sir. Would this be an unseasonable time, sir,' +asked Mr Rugg, coaxingly, 'for me to offer an observation?' + +'As seasonable a time as any other.' + +'Hum! Public opinion, sir,' said Mr Rugg, 'has been busy with you.' + +'I don't doubt it.' + +'Might it not be advisable, sir,' said Mr Rugg, more coaxingly yet, 'now +to make, at last and after all, a trifling concession to public opinion? +We all do it in one way or another. The fact is, we must do it.' + +'I cannot set myself right with it, Mr Rugg, and have no business to +expect that I ever shall.' + +'Don't say that, sir, don't say that. The cost of being moved to the +Bench is almost insignificant, and if the general feeling is strong that +you ought to be there, why--really--' + +'I thought you had settled, Mr Rugg,' said Arthur, 'that my +determination to remain here was a matter of taste.' + +'Well, sir, well! But is it good taste, is it good taste? That's the +Question.' Mr Rugg was so soothingly persuasive as to be quite pathetic. +'I was almost going to say, is it good feeling? This is an extensive +affair of yours; and your remaining here where a man can come for a +pound or two, is remarked upon as not in keeping. It is not in keeping. +I can't tell you, sir, in how many quarters I heard it mentioned. I +heard comments made upon it last night in a Parlour frequented by what +I should call, if I did not look in there now and then myself, the best +legal company--I heard, there, comments on it that I was sorry to hear. +They hurt me on your account. Again, only this morning at breakfast. My +daughter (but a woman, you'll say: yet still with a feeling for these +things, and even with some little personal experience, as the plaintiff +in Rugg and Bawkins) was expressing her great surprise; her great +surprise. Now under these circumstances, and considering that none of +us can quite set ourselves above public opinion, wouldn't a trifling +concession to that opinion be--Come, sir,' said Rugg, 'I will put it on +the lowest ground of argument, and say, Amiable?' + +Arthur's thoughts had once more wandered away to Little Dorrit, and the +question remained unanswered. + +'As to myself, sir,' said Mr Rugg, hoping that his eloquence had reduced +him to a state of indecision, 'it is a principle of mine not to consider +myself when a client's inclinations are in the scale. But, knowing your +considerate character and general wish to oblige, I will repeat that I +should prefer your being in the Bench. Your case has made a noise; it +is a creditable case to be professionally concerned in; I should feel on +a better standing with my connection, if you went to the Bench. Don't +let that influence you, sir. I merely state the fact.' + +So errant had the prisoner's attention already grown in solitude and +dejection, and so accustomed had it become to commune with only one +silent figure within the ever-frowning walls, that Clennam had to shake +off a kind of stupor before he could look at Mr Rugg, recall the thread +of his talk, and hurriedly say, 'I am unchanged, and unchangeable, in my +decision. Pray, let it be; let it be!' Mr Rugg, without concealing that +he was nettled and mortified, replied: + +'Oh! Beyond a doubt, sir. I have travelled out of the record, sir, I am +aware, in putting the point to you. But really, when I hear it remarked +in several companies, and in very good company, that however worthy of a +foreigner, it is not worthy of the spirit of an Englishman to remain in +the Marshalsea when the glorious liberties of his island home admit +of his removal to the Bench, I thought I would depart from the narrow +professional line marked out to me, and mention it. Personally,' said Mr +Rugg, 'I have no opinion on the topic.' + +'That's well,' returned Arthur. + +'Oh! None at all, sir!' said Mr Rugg. 'If I had, I should have been +unwilling, some minutes ago, to see a client of mine visited in this +place by a gentleman of a high family riding a saddle-horse. But it was +not my business. If I had, I might have wished to be now empowered to +mention to another gentleman, a gentleman of military exterior at +present waiting in the Lodge, that my client had never intended to +remain here, and was on the eve of removal to a superior abode. But my +course as a professional machine is clear; I have nothing to do with it. +Is it your good pleasure to see the gentleman, sir?' + +'Who is waiting to see me, did you say?' + +'I did take that unprofessional liberty, sir. Hearing that I was your +professional adviser, he declined to interpose before my very limited +function was performed. Happily,' said Mr Rugg, with sarcasm, 'I did not +so far travel out of the record as to ask the gentleman for his name.' + +'I suppose I have no resource but to see him,' sighed Clennam, wearily. + +'Then it _is_ your good pleasure, sir?' retorted Rugg. 'Am I honoured by +your instructions to mention as much to the gentleman, as I pass out? I +am? Thank you, sir. I take my leave.' His leave he took accordingly, in +dudgeon. + +The gentleman of military exterior had so imperfectly awakened Clennam's +curiosity, in the existing state of his mind, that a half-forgetfulness +of such a visitor's having been referred to, was already creeping over +it as a part of the sombre veil which almost always dimmed it now, when +a heavy footstep on the stairs aroused him. It appeared to ascend them, +not very promptly or spontaneously, yet with a display of stride and +clatter meant to be insulting. As it paused for a moment on the +landing outside his door, he could not recall his association with the +peculiarity of its sound, though he thought he had one. Only a moment +was given him for consideration. His door was immediately swung open +by a thump, and in the doorway stood the missing Blandois, the cause of +many anxieties. + +'Salve, fellow jail-bird!' said he. 'You want me, it seems. Here I am!' + +Before Arthur could speak to him in his indignant wonder, Cavalletto +followed him into the room. Mr Pancks followed Cavalletto. Neither of +the two had been there since its present occupant had had possession of +it. Mr Pancks, breathing hard, sidled near the window, put his hat on +the ground, stirred his hair up with both hands, and folded his arms, +like a man who had come to a pause in a hard day's work. Mr Baptist, +never taking his eyes from his dreaded chum of old, softly sat down on +the floor with his back against the door and one of his ankles in +each hand: resuming the attitude (except that it was now expressive of +unwinking watchfulness) in which he had sat before the same man in the +deeper shade of another prison, one hot morning at Marseilles. + +'I have it on the witnessing of these two madmen,' said Monsieur +Blandois, otherwise Lagnier, otherwise Rigaud, 'that you want me, +brother-bird. Here I am!' + +Glancing round contemptuously at the bedstead, which was +turned up by day, he leaned his back against it as a resting-place, +without removing his hat from his head, and stood defiantly lounging +with his hands in his pockets. + +'You villain of ill-omen!' said Arthur. 'You have purposely cast a +dreadful suspicion upon my mother's house. Why have you done it? +What prompted you to the devilish invention?' + +Monsieur Rigaud, after frowning at him for a moment, laughed. 'Hear this +noble gentleman! Listen, all the world, to this creature of Virtue! But +take care, take care. It is possible, my friend, that your ardour is a +little compromising. Holy Blue! It is possible.' + +'Signore!' interposed Cavalletto, also addressing Arthur: 'for to +commence, hear me! I received your instructions to find him, Rigaud; is +it not?' + +'It is the truth.' + +'I go, consequentementally,'--it would have given Mrs Plornish great +concern if she could have been persuaded that his occasional lengthening +of an adverb in this way, was the chief fault of his English,--'first +among my countrymen. I ask them what news in Londra, of foreigners +arrived. Then I go among the French. Then I go among the Germans. They +all tell me. The great part of us know well the other, and they all tell +me. But!--no person can tell me nothing of him, Rigaud. Fifteen times,' +said Cavalletto, thrice throwing out his left hand with all its fingers +spread, and doing it so rapidly that the sense of sight could hardly +follow the action, 'I ask of him in every place where go the foreigners; +and fifteen times,' repeating the same swift performance, 'they know +nothing. But!--' + +At this significant Italian rest on the word 'But,' his backhanded shake +of his right forefinger came into play; a very little, and very +cautiously. + +'But!--After a long time when I have not been able to find that he +is here in Londra, some one tells me of a soldier with white +hair--hey?--not hair like this that he carries--white--who lives retired +secrettementally, in a certain place. But!--' with another rest upon +the word, 'who sometimes in the after-dinner, walks, and smokes. It is +necessary, as they say in Italy (and as they know, poor people), to +have patience. I have patience. I ask where is this certain place. One. +believes it is here, one believes it is there. Eh well! It is not here, +it is not there. I wait patientissamentally. At last I find it. Then I +watch; then I hide, until he walks and smokes. He is a soldier with grey +hair--But!--' a very decided rest indeed, and a very vigorous play from +side to side of the back-handed forefinger--'he is also this man that +you see.' + +It was noticeable, that, in his old habit of submission to one who had +been at the trouble of asserting superiority over him, he even then +bestowed upon Rigaud a confused bend of his head, after thus pointing +him out. + +'Eh well, Signore!' he cried in conclusion, addressing Arthur again. 'I +waited for a good opportunity. I writed some words to Signor Panco,' an +air of novelty came over Mr Pancks with this designation, 'to come and +help. I showed him, Rigaud, at his window, to Signor Panco, who was +often the spy in the day. I slept at night near the door of the house. +At last we entered, only this to-day, and now you see him! As he would +not come up in presence of the illustrious Advocate,' such was Mr +Baptist's honourable mention of Mr Rugg, 'we waited down below there, +together, and Signor Panco guarded the street.' + +At the close of this recital, Arthur turned his eyes upon the impudent +and wicked face. As it met his, the nose came down over the moustache +and the moustache went up under the nose. When nose and moustache had +settled into their places again, Monsieur Rigaud loudly snapped his +fingers half-a-dozen times; bending forward to jerk the snaps at Arthur, +as if they were palpable missiles which he jerked into his face. + +'Now, Philosopher!' said Rigaud. 'What do you want with me?' + +'I want to know,' returned Arthur, without disguising his abhorrence, +'how you dare direct a suspicion of murder against my mother's house?' + +'Dare!' cried Rigaud. 'Ho, ho! Hear him! Dare? Is it dare? By Heaven, my +small boy, but you are a little imprudent!' + +'I want that suspicion to be cleared away,' said Arthur. 'You shall +be taken there, and be publicly seen. I want to know, moreover, +what business you had there when I had a burning desire to fling you +down-stairs. Don't frown at me, man! I have seen enough of you to know +that you are a bully and coward. I need no revival of my spirits from +the effects of this wretched place to tell you so plain a fact, and one +that you know so well.' + +White to the lips, Rigaud stroked his moustache, muttering, 'By Heaven, +my small boy, but you are a little compromising of my lady, your +respectable mother'--and seemed for a minute undecided how to act. +His indecision was soon gone. He sat himself down with a threatening +swagger, and said: + +'Give me a bottle of wine. You can buy wine here. Send one of your +madmen to get me a bottle of wine. I won't talk to you without wine. +Come! Yes or no?' + +'Fetch him what he wants, Cavalletto,' said Arthur, scornfully, +producing the money. + +'Contraband beast,' added Rigaud, 'bring Port wine! I'll drink nothing +but Porto-Porto.' + +The contraband beast, however, assuring all present, with his +significant finger, that he peremptorily declined to leave his post at +the door, Signor Panco offered his services. He soon returned with the +bottle of wine: which, according to the custom of the place, originating +in a scarcity of corkscrews among the Collegians (in common with a +scarcity of much else), was already opened for use. + +'Madman! A large glass,' said Rigaud. + +Signor Panco put a tumbler before him; not without a visible conflict of +feeling on the question of throwing it at his head. + +'Haha!' boasted Rigaud. 'Once a gentleman, and always a gentleman. +A gentleman from the beginning, and a gentleman to the end. What +the Devil! A gentleman must be waited on, I hope? It's a part of my +character to be waited on!' + +He half filled the tumbler as he said it, and drank off the contents +when he had done saying it. + +'Hah!' smacking his lips. 'Not a very old prisoner _that_! I judge by +your looks, brave sir, that imprisonment will subdue your blood much +sooner than it softens this hot wine. You are mellowing--losing body +and colour already. I salute you!' + +He tossed off another half glass: holding it up both before and +afterwards, so as to display his small, white hand. + +'To business,' he then continued. 'To conversation. You have shown +yourself more free of speech than body, sir.' + +'I have used the freedom of telling you what you know yourself to be. +You know yourself, as we all know you, to be far worse than that.' + +'Add, always a gentleman, and it's no matter. Except in that regard, we +are all alike. For example: you couldn't for your life be a gentleman; +I couldn't for my life be otherwise. How great the difference! Let us go +on. Words, sir, never influence the course of the cards, or the course +of the dice. Do you know that? You do? I also play a game, and words are +without power over it.' + +Now that he was confronted with Cavalletto, and knew that his story was +known--whatever thin disguise he had worn, he dropped; and faced it out, +with a bare face, as the infamous wretch he was. + +'No, my son,' he resumed, with a snap of his fingers. 'I play my game +to the end in spite of words; and Death of my Body and Death of my Soul! +I'll win it. You want to know why I played this little trick that +you have interrupted? Know then that I had, and that I have--do you +understand me? have--a commodity to sell to my lady your respectable +mother. I described my precious commodity, and fixed my price. Touching +the bargain, your admirable mother was a little too calm, too stolid, +too immovable and statue-like. In fine, your admirable mother vexed me. +To make variety in my position, and to amuse myself--what! a gentleman +must be amused at somebody's expense!--I conceived the happy idea of +disappearing. An idea, see you, that your characteristic mother and my +Flintwinch would have been well enough pleased to execute. Ah! Bah, +bah, bah, don't look as from high to low at me! I repeat it. Well enough +pleased, excessively enchanted, and with all their hearts ravished. How +strongly will you have it?' + +He threw out the lees of his glass on the ground, so that they nearly +spattered Cavalletto. This seemed to draw his attention to him anew. He +set down his glass and said: + +'I'll not fill it. What! I am born to be served. Come then, you +Cavalletto, and fill!' + +The little man looked at Clennam, whose eyes were occupied with Rigaud, +and, seeing no prohibition, got up from the ground, and poured out +from the bottle into the glass. The blending, as he did so, of his old +submission with a sense of something humorous; the striving of that +with a certain smouldering ferocity, which might have flashed fire in +an instant (as the born gentleman seemed to think, for he had a wary +eye upon him); and the easy yielding of all to a good-natured, careless, +predominant propensity to sit down on the ground again: formed a very +remarkable combination of character. + +'This happy idea, brave sir,' Rigaud resumed after drinking, 'was a +happy idea for several reasons. It amused me, it worried your dear +mama and my Flintwinch, it caused you agonies (my terms for a lesson +in politeness towards a gentleman), and it suggested to all the amiable +persons interested that your entirely devoted is a man to fear. By +Heaven, he is a man to fear! Beyond this; it might have restored her wit +to my lady your mother--might, under the pressing little suspicion your +wisdom has recognised, have persuaded her at last to announce, covertly, +in the journals, that the difficulties of a certain contract would be +removed by the appearance of a certain important party to it. Perhaps +yes, perhaps no. But that, you have interrupted. Now, what is it you +say? What is it you want?' + +Never had Clennam felt more acutely that he was a prisoner in bonds, +than when he saw this man before him, and could not accompany him to his +mother's house. All the undiscernible difficulties and dangers he had +ever feared were closing in, when he could not stir hand or foot. + +'Perhaps, my friend, philosopher, man of virtue, Imbecile, what you +will; perhaps,' said Rigaud, pausing in his drink to look out of his +glass with his horrible smile, 'you would have done better to leave me +alone?' + +'No! At least,' said Clennam, 'you are known to be alive and unharmed. +At least you cannot escape from these two witnesses; and they can +produce you before any public authorities, or before hundreds of +people!' + +'But will not produce me before one,' said Rigaud, snapping his +fingers again with an air of triumphant menace. 'To the Devil with your +witnesses! To the Devil with your produced! To the Devil with yourself! +What! Do I know what I know, for that? Have I my commodity on sale, for +that? Bah, poor debtor! You have interrupted my little project. Let it +pass. How then? What remains? To you, nothing; to me, all. Produce +_me_! Is that what you want? I will produce myself, only too quickly. +Contrabandist! Give me pen, ink, and paper.' + +Cavalletto got up again as before, and laid them before him in his +former manner. Rigaud, after some villainous thinking and smiling, +wrote, and read aloud, as follows: + + +'To MRS CLENNAM. + +'Wait answer. + +'Prison of the Marshalsea. +'At the apartment of your son. + +'Dear Madam, +'I am in despair to be informed to-day by our prisoner here +(who has had the goodness to employ spies to seek me, living for politic +reasons in retirement), that you have had fears for my safety. + +'Reassure yourself, dear madam. I am well, I am strong and constant. + +'With the greatest impatience I should fly to your house, but that I +foresee it to be possible, under the circumstances, that you will not +yet have quite definitively arranged the little proposition I have had +the honour to submit to you. I name one week from this day, for a last +final visit on my part; when you will unconditionally accept it or +reject it, with its train of consequences. + +'I suppress my ardour to embrace you and achieve this interesting +business, in order that you may have leisure to adjust its details to +our perfect mutual satisfaction. + +'In the meanwhile, it is not too much to propose (our prisoner having +deranged my housekeeping), that my expenses of lodging and nourishment +at an hotel shall be paid by you. + +'Receive, dear madam, the assurance of my highest and most distinguished +consideration, + + 'RIGAUD BLANDOIS. + +'A thousand friendships to that dear Flintwinch. + +'I kiss the hands of Madame F.' + + +When he had finished this epistle, Rigaud folded it and tossed it with +a flourish at Clennam's feet. 'Hola you! Apropos of producing, let +somebody produce that at its address, and produce the answer here.' + +'Cavalletto,' said Arthur. 'Will you take this fellow's letter?' + +But, Cavalletto's significant finger again expressing that his post was +at the door to keep watch over Rigaud, now he had found him with so much +trouble, and that the duty of his post was to sit on the floor backed up +by the door, looking at Rigaud and holding his own ankles,--Signor Panco +once more volunteered. His services being accepted, Cavalletto suffered +the door to open barely wide enough to admit of his squeezing himself +out, and immediately shut it on him. + +'Touch me with a finger, touch me with an epithet, question my +superiority as I sit here drinking my wine at my pleasure,' said Rigaud, +'and I follow the letter and cancel my week's grace. _You_ wanted me? You +have got me! How do you like me?' + +'You know,' returned Clennam, with a bitter sense of his helplessness, +'that when I sought you, I was not a prisoner.' + +'To the Devil with you and your prison,' retorted Rigaud, leisurely, +as he took from his pocket a case containing the materials for making +cigarettes, and employed his facile hands in folding a few for present +use; 'I care for neither of you. Contrabandist! A light.' + +Again Cavalletto got up, and gave him what he wanted. There had been +something dreadful in the noiseless skill of his cold, white hands, with +the fingers lithely twisting about and twining one over another like +serpents. Clennam could not prevent himself from shuddering inwardly, as +if he had been looking on at a nest of those creatures. + +'Hola, Pig!' cried Rigaud, with a noisy stimulating cry, as if +Cavalletto were an Italian horse or mule. 'What! The infernal old jail +was a respectable one to this. There was dignity in the bars and stones +of that place. It was a prison for men. But this? Bah! A hospital for +imbeciles!' + +He smoked his cigarette out, with his ugly smile so fixed upon his face +that he looked as though he were smoking with his drooping beak of a +nose, rather than with his mouth; like a fancy in a weird picture. When +he had lighted a second cigarette at the still burning end of the first, +he said to Clennam: + +'One must pass the time in the madman's absence. One must talk. One +can't drink strong wine all day long, or I would have another bottle. +She's handsome, sir. Though not exactly to my taste, still, by +the Thunder and the Lightning! handsome. I felicitate you on your +admiration.' + +'I neither know nor ask,' said Clennam, 'of whom you speak.' + +'Della bella Gowana, sir, as they say in Italy. Of the Gowan, the fair +Gowan.' + +'Of whose husband you were the--follower, I think?' + +'Sir? Follower? You are insolent. The friend.' + +'Do you sell all your friends?' + +Rigaud took his cigarette from his mouth, and eyed him with a momentary +revelation of surprise. But he put it between his lips again, as he +answered with coolness: + +'I sell anything that commands a price. How do your lawyers live, your +politicians, your intriguers, your men of the Exchange? How do you live? +How do you come here? Have you sold no friend? Lady of mine! I rather +think, yes!' + +Clennam turned away from him towards the window, and sat looking out at +the wall. + +'Effectively, sir,' said Rigaud, 'Society sells itself and sells me: and +I sell Society. I perceive you have acquaintance with another lady. Also +handsome. A strong spirit. Let us see. How do they call her? Wade.' + +He received no answer, but could easily discern that he had hit the +mark. + +'Yes,' he went on, 'that handsome lady and strong spirit addresses me in +the street, and I am not insensible. I respond. That handsome lady and +strong spirit does me the favour to remark, in full confidence, "I have +my curiosity, and I have my chagrins. You are not more than ordinarily +honourable, perhaps?" I announce myself, "Madame, a gentleman from +the birth, and a gentleman to the death; but _not_ more than ordinarily +honourable. I despise such a weak fantasy." Thereupon she is pleased to +compliment. "The difference between you and the rest is," she answers, +"that you say so." For she knows Society. I accept her congratulations +with gallantry and politeness. Politeness and little gallantries are +inseparable from my character. She then makes a proposition, which is, +in effect, that she has seen us much together; that it appears to her +that I am for the passing time the cat of the house, the friend of +the family; that her curiosity and her chagrins awaken the fancy to be +acquainted with their movements, to know the manner of their life, how +the fair Gowana is beloved, how the fair Gowana is cherished, and so +on. She is not rich, but offers such and such little recompenses for the +little cares and derangements of such services; and I graciously--to do +everything graciously is a part of my character--consent to accept them. +O yes! So goes the world. It is the mode.' + +Though Clennam's back was turned while he spoke, and thenceforth to the +end of the interview, he kept those glittering eyes of his that were too +near together, upon him, and evidently saw in the very carriage of the +head, as he passed with his braggart recklessness from clause to clause +of what he said, that he was saying nothing which Clennam did not +already know. + +'Whoof! The fair Gowana!' he said, lighting a third cigarette with a +sound as if his lightest breath could blow her away. 'Charming, but +imprudent! For it was not well of the fair Gowana to make mysteries of +letters from old lovers, in her bedchamber on the mountain, that her +husband might not see them. No, no. That was not well. Whoof! The Gowana +was mistaken there.' + +'I earnestly hope,' cried Arthur aloud, 'that Pancks may not be long +gone, for this man's presence pollutes the room.' + +'Ah! But he'll flourish here, and everywhere,' said Rigaud, with an +exulting look and snap of his fingers. 'He always has; he always will!' +Stretching his body out on the only three chairs in the room besides +that on which Clennam sat, he sang, smiting himself on the breast as the +gallant personage of the song. + + + 'Who passes by this road so late? + Compagnon de la Majolaine! + Who passes by this road so late? + Always gay! + + +'Sing the Refrain, pig! You could sing it once, in another jail. Sing +it! Or, by every Saint who was stoned to death, I'll be affronted and +compromising; and then some people who are not dead yet, had better have +been stoned along with them!' + + + 'Of all the king's knights 'tis the flower, + Compagnon de la Majolaine! + Of all the king's knights 'tis the flower, + Always gay!' + + +Partly in his old habit of submission, partly because his not doing it +might injure his benefactor, and partly because he would as soon do +it as anything else, Cavalletto took up the Refrain this time. Rigaud +laughed, and fell to smoking with his eyes shut. + +Possibly another quarter of an hour elapsed before Mr Pancks's step was +heard upon the stairs, but the interval seemed to Clennam insupportably +long. His step was attended by another step; and when Cavalletto opened +the door, he admitted Mr Pancks and Mr Flintwinch. The latter was no +sooner visible, than Rigaud rushed at him and embraced him boisterously. + +'How do you find yourself, sir?' said Mr Flintwinch, as soon as he could +disengage himself, which he struggled to do with very little ceremony. +'Thank you, no; I don't want any more.' This was in reference to another +menace of attention from his recovered friend. 'Well, Arthur. You +remember what I said to you about sleeping dogs and missing ones. It's +come true, you see.' + +He was as imperturbable as ever, to all appearance, and nodded his head +in a moralising way as he looked round the room. + +'And this is the Marshalsea prison for debt!' said Mr Flintwinch. 'Hah! +you have brought your pigs to a very indifferent market, Arthur.' + +If Arthur had patience, Rigaud had not. He took his little Flintwinch, +with fierce playfulness, by the two lapels of his coat, and cried: + +'To the Devil with the Market, to the Devil with the Pigs, and to the +Devil with the Pig-Driver! Now! Give me the answer to my letter.' + +'If you can make it convenient to let go a moment, sir,' returned Mr +Flintwinch, 'I'll first hand Mr Arthur a little note that I have for +him.' + +He did so. It was in his mother's maimed writing, on a slip of paper, +and contained only these words: + + +'I hope it is enough that you have ruined yourself. Rest contented +without more ruin. Jeremiah Flintwinch is my messenger and +representative. Your affectionate M. C.' + + +Clennam read this twice, in silence, and then tore it to pieces. Rigaud +in the meanwhile stepped into a chair, and sat himself on the back with +his feet upon the seat. + +'Now, Beau Flintwinch,' he said, when he had closely watched the note to +its destruction, 'the answer to my letter?' + +'Mrs Clennam did not write, Mr Blandois, her hands being cramped, +and she thinking it as well to send it verbally by me.' Mr Flintwinch +screwed this out of himself, unwillingly and rustily. 'She sends +her compliments, and says she doesn't on the whole wish to term +you unreasonable, and that she agrees. But without prejudicing the +appointment that stands for this day week.' + +Monsieur Rigaud, after indulging in a fit of laughter, descended from +his throne, saying, 'Good! I go to seek an hotel!' But, there his eyes +encountered Cavalletto, who was still at his post. + +'Come, Pig,' he added, 'I have had you for a follower against my will; +now, I'll have you against yours. I tell you, my little reptiles, I +am born to be served. I demand the service of this contrabandist as my +domestic until this day week.' + +In answer to Cavalletto's look of inquiry, Clennam made him a sign +to go; but he added aloud, 'unless you are afraid of him.' Cavalletto +replied with a very emphatic finger-negative.'No, master, I am not +afraid of him, when I no more keep it secrettementally that he was once +my comrade.' Rigaud took no notice of either remark until he had lighted +his last cigarette and was quite ready for walking. + +'Afraid of him,' he said then, looking round upon them all. 'Whoof! My +children, my babies, my little dolls, you are all afraid of him. You +give him his bottle of wine here; you give him meat, drink, and lodging +there; you dare not touch him with a finger or an epithet. No. It is his +character to triumph! Whoof! + + + 'Of all the king's knights he's the flower, + And he's always gay!' + + +With this adaptation of the Refrain to himself, he stalked out of the +room closely followed by Cavalletto, whom perhaps he had pressed into +his service because he tolerably well knew it would not be easy to get +rid of him. Mr Flintwinch, after scraping his chin, and looking about +with caustic disparagement of the Pig-Market, nodded to Arthur, and +followed. Mr Pancks, still penitent and depressed, followed too; after +receiving with great attention a secret word or two of instructions from +Arthur, and whispering back that he would see this affair out, and stand +by it to the end. The prisoner, with the feeling that he was more +despised, more scorned and repudiated, more helpless, altogether more +miserable and fallen than before, was left alone again. + + + + +CHAPTER 29. A Plea in the Marshalsea + + +Haggard anxiety and remorse are bad companions to be barred up with. +Brooding all day, and resting very little indeed at night, will not +arm a man against misery. Next morning, Clennam felt that his health was +sinking, as his spirits had already sunk and that the weight under which +he bent was bearing him down. + +Night after night he had risen from his bed of wretchedness at twelve or +one o'clock, and had sat at his window watching the sickly lamps in the +yard, and looking upward for the first wan trace of day, hours before it +was possible that the sky could show it to him. Now when the night came, +he could not even persuade himself to undress. + +For a burning restlessness set in, an agonised impatience of the prison, +and a conviction that he was going to break his heart and die there, +which caused him indescribable suffering. His dread and hatred of the +place became so intense that he felt it a labour to draw his breath in +it. The sensation of being stifled sometimes so overpowered him, that +he would stand at the window holding his throat and gasping. At the +same time a longing for other air, and a yearning to be beyond the blind +blank wall, made him feel as if he must go mad with the ardour of the +desire. + +Many other prisoners had had experience of this condition before him, +and its violence and continuity had worn themselves out in their cases, +as they did in his. Two nights and a day exhausted it. It came back by +fits, but those grew fainter and returned at lengthening intervals. A +desolate calm succeeded; and the middle of the week found him settled +down in the despondency of low, slow fever. + +With Cavalletto and Pancks away, he had no visitors to fear but Mr and +Mrs Plornish. His anxiety, in reference to that worthy pair, was that +they should not come near him; for, in the morbid state of his nerves, +he sought to be left alone, and spared the being seen so subdued and +weak. He wrote a note to Mrs Plornish representing himself as occupied +with his affairs, and bound by the necessity of devoting himself to +them, to remain for a time even without the pleasant interruption of +a sight of her kind face. As to Young John, who looked in daily at a +certain hour, when the turnkeys were relieved, to ask if he could do +anything for him; he always made a pretence of being engaged in writing, +and to answer cheerfully in the negative. The subject of their only +long conversation had never been revived between them. Through all these +changes of unhappiness, however, it had never lost its hold on Clennam's +mind. + +The sixth day of the appointed week was a moist, hot, misty day. It +seemed as though the prison's poverty, and shabbiness, and dirt, were +growing in the sultry atmosphere. With an aching head and a weary heart, +Clennam had watched the miserable night out, listening to the fall of +rain on the yard pavement, thinking of its softer fall upon the country +earth. A blurred circle of yellow haze had risen up in the sky in lieu +of sun, and he had watched the patch it put upon his wall, like a bit of +the prison's raggedness. He had heard the gates open; and the badly shod +feet that waited outside shuffle in; and the sweeping, and pumping, +and moving about, begin, which commenced the prison morning. So ill and +faint that he was obliged to rest many times in the process of getting +himself washed, he had at length crept to his chair by the open window. +In it he sat dozing, while the old woman who arranged his room went +through her morning's work. + +Light of head with want of sleep and want of food (his appetite, and +even his sense of taste, having forsaken him), he had been two or three +times conscious, in the night, of going astray. He had heard fragments +of tunes and songs in the warm wind, which he knew had no existence. +Now that he began to doze in exhaustion, he heard them again; and voices +seemed to address him, and he answered, and started. + +Dozing and dreaming, without the power of reckoning time, so that +a minute might have been an hour and an hour a minute, some abiding +impression of a garden stole over him--a garden of flowers, with a +damp warm wind gently stirring their scents. It required such a painful +effort to lift his head for the purpose of inquiring into this, or +inquiring into anything, that the impression appeared to have become +quite an old and importunate one when he looked round. Beside the +tea-cup on his table he saw, then, a blooming nosegay: a wonderful +handful of the choicest and most lovely flowers. + +Nothing had ever appeared so beautiful in his sight. He took them up and +inhaled their fragrance, and he lifted them to his hot head, and he put +them down and opened his parched hands to them, as cold hands are opened +to receive the cheering of a fire. It was not until he had delighted in +them for some time, that he wondered who had sent them; and opened his +door to ask the woman who must have put them there, how they had come +into her hands. But she was gone, and seemed to have been long gone; for +the tea she had left for him on the table was cold. He tried to drink +some, but could not bear the odour of it: so he crept back to his chair +by the open window, and put the flowers on the little round table of +old. + +When the first faintness consequent on having moved about had left him, +he subsided into his former state. One of the night-tunes was playing +in the wind, when the door of his room seemed to open to a light touch, +and, after a moment's pause, a quiet figure seemed to stand there, with +a black mantle on it. It seemed to draw the mantle off and drop it on +the ground, and then it seemed to be his Little Dorrit in her old, worn +dress. It seemed to tremble, and to clasp its hands, and to smile, and +to burst into tears. + +He roused himself, and cried out. And then he saw, in the loving, +pitying, sorrowing, dear face, as in a mirror, how changed he was; and +she came towards him; and with her hands laid on his breast to keep him +in his chair, and with her knees upon the floor at his feet, and with +her lips raised up to kiss him, and with her tears dropping on him as +the rain from Heaven had dropped upon the flowers, Little Dorrit, a +living presence, called him by his name. + +'O, my best friend! Dear Mr Clennam, don't let me see you weep! Unless +you weep with pleasure to see me. I hope you do. Your own poor child +come back!' + +So faithful, tender, and unspoiled by Fortune. In the sound of her +voice, in the light of her eyes, in the touch of her hands, so +Angelically comforting and true! + +As he embraced her, she said to him, 'They never told me you were ill,' +and drawing an arm softly round his neck, laid his head upon her bosom, +put a hand upon his head, and resting her cheek upon that hand, nursed +him as lovingly, and GOD knows as innocently, as she had nursed her +father in that room when she had been but a baby, needing all the care +from others that she took of them. + +When he could speak, he said, 'Is it possible that you have come to me? +And in this dress?' + +'I hoped you would like me better in this dress than any other. I have +always kept it by me, to remind me: though I wanted no reminding. I am +not alone, you see. I have brought an old friend with me.' + +Looking round, he saw Maggy in her big cap which had been long +abandoned, with a basket on her arm as in the bygone days, chuckling +rapturously. + +'It was only yesterday evening that I came to London with my brother. +I sent round to Mrs Plornish almost as soon as we arrived, that I might +hear of you and let you know I had come. Then I heard that you were +here. Did you happen to think of me in the night? I almost believe you +must have thought of me a little. I thought of you so anxiously, and it +appeared so long to morning.' + +'I have thought of you--' he hesitated what to call her. She perceived +it in an instant. + +'You have not spoken to me by my right name yet. You know what my right +name always is with you.' + +'I have thought of you, Little Dorrit, every day, every hour, every +minute, since I have been here.' + +'Have you? Have you?' + +He saw the bright delight of her face, and the flush that kindled in +it, with a feeling of shame. He, a broken, bankrupt, sick, dishonoured +prisoner. + +'I was here before the gates were opened, but I was afraid to come +straight to you. I should have done you more harm than good, at first; +for the prison was so familiar and yet so strange, and it brought back +so many remembrances of my poor father, and of you too, that at first +it overpowered me. But we went to Mr Chivery before we came to the gate, +and he brought us in, and got John's room for us--my poor old room, you +know--and we waited there a little. I brought the flowers to the door, +but you didn't hear me.' + +She looked something more womanly than when she had gone away, and the +ripening touch of the Italian sun was visible upon her face. But, +otherwise, she was quite unchanged. The same deep, timid earnestness +that he had always seen in her, and never without emotion, he saw still. +If it had a new meaning that smote him to the heart, the change was in +his perception, not in her. + +She took off her old bonnet, hung it in the old place, and noiselessly +began, with Maggy's help, to make his room as fresh and neat as it could +be made, and to sprinkle it with a pleasant-smelling water. When that +was done, the basket, which was filled with grapes and other fruit, +was unpacked, and all its contents were quietly put away. When that was +done, a moment's whisper despatched Maggy to despatch somebody else to +fill the basket again; which soon came back replenished with new +stores, from which a present provision of cooling drink and jelly, and +a prospective supply of roast chicken and wine and water, were the first +extracts. These various arrangements completed, she took out her old +needle-case to make him a curtain for his window; and thus, with a quiet +reigning in the room, that seemed to diffuse itself through the else +noisy prison, he found himself composed in his chair, with Little Dorrit +working at his side. + +To see the modest head again bent down over its task, and the nimble +fingers busy at their old work--though she was not so absorbed in it, +but that her compassionate eyes were often raised to his face, and, when +they drooped again had tears in them--to be so consoled and comforted, +and to believe that all the devotion of this great nature was turned to +him in his adversity to pour out its inexhaustible wealth of goodness +upon him, did not steady Clennam's trembling voice or hand, or +strengthen him in his weakness. Yet it inspired him with an inward +fortitude, that rose with his love. And how dearly he loved her now, +what words can tell! + +As they sat side by side in the shadow of the wall, the shadow fell like +light upon him. She would not let him speak much, and he lay back in +his chair, looking at her. Now and again she would rise and give him +the glass that he might drink, or would smooth the resting-place of his +head; then she would gently resume her seat by him, and bend over her +work again. + +The shadow moved with the sun, but she never moved from his side, except +to wait upon him. The sun went down and she was still there. She had +done her work now, and her hand, faltering on the arm of his chair since +its last tending of him, was hesitating there yet. He laid his hand upon +it, and it clasped him with a trembling supplication. + +'Dear Mr Clennam, I must say something to you before I go. I have put it +off from hour to hour, but I must say it.' + +'I too, dear Little Dorrit. I have put off what I must say.' + +She nervously moved her hand towards his lips as if to stop him; then it +dropped, trembling, into its former place. + +'I am not going abroad again. My brother is, but I am not. He was always +attached to me, and he is so grateful to me now--so much too grateful, +for it is only because I happened to be with him in his illness--that +he says I shall be free to stay where I like best, and to do what I like +best. He only wishes me to be happy, he says.' + +There was one bright star shining in the sky. She looked up at it while +she spoke, as if it were the fervent purpose of her own heart shining +above her. + +'You will understand, I dare say, without my telling you, that my +brother has come home to find my dear father's will, and to take +possession of his property. He says, if there is a will, he is sure I +shall be left rich; and if there is none, that he will make me so.' + +He would have spoken; but she put up her trembling hand again, and he +stopped. + +'I have no use for money, I have no wish for it. It would be of no value +at all to me but for your sake. I could not be rich, and you here. I +must always be much worse than poor, with you distressed. Will you let +me lend you all I have? Will you let me give it you? Will you let me +show you that I have never forgotten, that I never can forget, your +protection of me when this was my home? Dear Mr Clennam, make me of all +the world the happiest, by saying Yes? Make me as happy as I can be in +leaving you here, by saying nothing to-night, and letting me go +away with the hope that you will think of it kindly; and that for my +sake--not for yours, for mine, for nobody's but mine!--you will give me +the greatest joy I can experience on earth, the joy of knowing that I +have been serviceable to you, and that I have paid some little of the +great debt of my affection and gratitude. I can't say what I wish to +say. I can't visit you here where I have lived so long, I can't think of +you here where I have seen so much, and be as calm and comforting as I +ought. My tears will make their way. I cannot keep them back. But +pray, pray, pray, do not turn from your Little Dorrit, now, in your +affliction! Pray, pray, pray, I beg you and implore you with all my +grieving heart, my friend--my dear!--take all I have, and make it a +Blessing to me!' + +The star had shone on her face until now, when her face sank upon his +hand and her own. + +It had grown darker when he raised her in his encircling arm, and softly +answered her. + +'No, darling Little Dorrit. No, my child. I must not hear of such a +sacrifice. Liberty and hope would be so dear, bought at such a price, +that I could never support their weight, never bear the reproach of +possessing them. But with what ardent thankfulness and love I say this, +I may call Heaven to witness!' + +'And yet you will not let me be faithful to you in your affliction?' + +'Say, dearest Little Dorrit, and yet I will try to be faithful to you. +If, in the bygone days when this was your home and when this was your +dress, I had understood myself (I speak only of myself) better, and +had read the secrets of my own breast more distinctly; if, through my +reserve and self-mistrust, I had discerned a light that I see brightly +now when it has passed far away, and my weak footsteps can never +overtake it; if I had then known, and told you that I loved and honoured +you, not as the poor child I used to call you, but as a woman whose +true hand would raise me high above myself and make me a far happier and +better man; if I had so used the opportunity there is no recalling--as +I wish I had, O I wish I had!--and if something had kept us apart then, +when I was moderately thriving, and when you were poor; I might have met +your noble offer of your fortune, dearest girl, with other words than +these, and still have blushed to touch it. But, as it is, I must never +touch it, never!' + +She besought him, more pathetically and earnestly, with her little +supplicatory hand, than she could have done in any words. + +'I am disgraced enough, my Little Dorrit. I must not descend so low as +that, and carry you--so dear, so generous, so good--down with me. GOD +bless you, GOD reward you! It is past.' + +He took her in his arms, as if she had been his daughter. + +'Always so much older, so much rougher, and so much less worthy, even +what I was must be dismissed by both of us, and you must see me only as +I am. I put this parting kiss upon your cheek, my child--who might have +been more near to me, who never could have been more dear--a ruined man +far removed from you, for ever separated from you, whose course is +run while yours is but beginning. I have not the courage to ask to be +forgotten by you in my humiliation; but I ask to be remembered only as I +am.' + +The bell began to ring, warning visitors to depart. He took her mantle +from the wall, and tenderly wrapped it round her. + +'One other word, my Little Dorrit. A hard one to me, but it is a +necessary one. The time when you and this prison had anything in common +has long gone by. Do you understand?' + +'O! you will never say to me,' she cried, weeping bitterly, and holding +up her clasped hands in entreaty, 'that I am not to come back any more! +You will surely not desert me so!' + +'I would say it, if I could; but I have not the courage quite to shut +out this dear face, and abandon all hope of its return. But do not come +soon, do not come often! This is now a tainted place, and I well know +the taint of it clings to me. You belong to much brighter and better +scenes. You are not to look back here, my Little Dorrit; you are to look +away to very different and much happier paths. Again, GOD bless you in +them! GOD reward you!' + +Maggy, who had fallen into very low spirits, here cried, 'Oh get him +into a hospital; do get him into a hospital, Mother! He'll never look +like hisself again, if he an't got into a hospital. And then the little +woman as was always a spinning at her wheel, she can go to the cupboard +with the Princess, and say, what do you keep the Chicking there for? and +then they can take it out and give it to him, and then all be happy!' + +The interruption was seasonable, for the bell had nearly rung itself +out. Again tenderly wrapping her mantle about her, and taking her on his +arm (though, but for her visit, he was almost too weak to walk), Arthur +led Little Dorrit down-stairs. She was the last visitor to pass out at +the Lodge, and the gate jarred heavily and hopelessly upon her. + +With the funeral clang that it sounded into Arthur's heart, his sense of +weakness returned. It was a toilsome journey up-stairs to his room, and +he re-entered its dark solitary precincts in unutterable misery. + +When it was almost midnight, and the prison had long been quiet, a +cautious creak came up the stairs, and a cautious tap of a key was given +at his door. It was Young John. He glided in, in his stockings, and held +the door closed, while he spoke in a whisper. + +'It's against all rules, but I don't mind. I was determined to come +through, and come to you.' + +'What is the matter?' + +'Nothing's the matter, sir. I was waiting in the court-yard for Miss +Dorrit when she came out. I thought you'd like some one to see that she +was safe.' + +'Thank you, thank you! You took her home, John?' + +'I saw her to her hotel. The same that Mr Dorrit was at. Miss Dorrit +walked all the way, and talked to me so kind, it quite knocked me over. +Why do you think she walked instead of riding?' + +'I don't know, John.' + +'To talk about you. She said to me, "John, you was always honourable, +and if you'll promise me that you will take care of him, and never let +him want for help and comfort when I am not there, my mind will be at +rest so far." I promised her. And I'll stand by you,' said John Chivery, +'for ever!' + +Clennam, much affected, stretched out his hand to this honest spirit. + +'Before I take it,' said John, looking at it, without coming from the +door, 'guess what message Miss Dorrit gave me.' + +Clennam shook his head. + +'"Tell him,"' repeated John, in a distinct, though quavering voice, +'"that his Little Dorrit sent him her undying love." Now it's delivered. +Have I been honourable, sir?' + +'Very, very!' + +'Will you tell Miss Dorrit I've been honourable, sir?' + +'I will indeed.' + +'There's my hand, sir,' said John, 'and I'll stand by you forever!' + +After a hearty squeeze, he disappeared with the same cautious creak upon +the stair, crept shoeless over the pavement of the yard, and, locking +the gates behind him, passed out into the front where he had left his +shoes. If the same way had been paved with burning ploughshares, it is +not at all improbable that John would have traversed it with the same +devotion, for the same purpose. + + + + +CHAPTER 30. Closing in + + +The last day of the appointed week touched the bars of the Marshalsea +gate. Black, all night, since the gate had clashed upon Little Dorrit, +its iron stripes were turned by the early-glowing sun into stripes of +gold. Far aslant across the city, over its jumbled roofs, and through +the open tracery of its church towers, struck the long bright rays, bars +of the prison of this lower world. + +Throughout the day the old house within the gateway remained untroubled +by any visitors. But, when the sun was low, three men turned in at the +gateway and made for the dilapidated house. + +Rigaud was the first, and walked by himself smoking. Mr Baptist was +the second, and jogged close after him, looking at no other object. +Mr Pancks was the third, and carried his hat under his arm for the +liberation of his restive hair; the weather being extremely hot. They +all came together at the door-steps. + +'You pair of madmen!' said Rigaud, facing about. 'Don't go yet!' + +'We don't mean to,' said Mr Pancks. + +Giving him a dark glance in acknowledgment of his answer, Rigaud knocked +loudly. He had charged himself with drink, for the playing out of his +game, and was impatient to begin. He had hardly finished one long +resounding knock, when he turned to the knocker again and began another. +That was not yet finished when Jeremiah Flintwinch opened the door, and +they all clanked into the stone hall. Rigaud, thrusting Mr Flintwinch +aside, proceeded straight up-stairs. His two attendants followed him, Mr +Flintwinch followed them, and they all came trooping into Mrs Clennam's +quiet room. It was in its usual state; except that one of the windows +was wide open, and Affery sat on its old-fashioned window-seat, mending +a stocking. The usual articles were on the little table; the usual +deadened fire was in the grate; the bed had its usual pall upon it; and +the mistress of all sat on her black bier-like sofa, propped up by her +black angular bolster that was like the headsman's block. + +Yet there was a nameless air of preparation in the room, as if it were +strung up for an occasion. From what the room derived it--every one of +its small variety of objects being in the fixed spot it had occupied +for years--no one could have said without looking attentively at its +mistress, and that, too, with a previous knowledge of her face. Although +her unchanging black dress was in every plait precisely as of old, and +her unchanging attitude was rigidly preserved, a very slight additional +setting of her features and contraction of her gloomy forehead was so +powerfully marked, that it marked everything about her. + +'Who are these?' she said, wonderingly, as the two attendants entered. +'What do these people want here?' + +'Who are these, dear madame, is it?' returned Rigaud. 'Faith, they are +friends of your son the prisoner. And what do they want here, is it? +Death, madame, I don't know. You will do well to ask them.' + +'You know you told us at the door, not to go yet,' said Pancks. + +'And you know you told me at the door, you didn't mean to go,' retorted +Rigaud. 'In a word, madame, permit me to present two spies of the +prisoner's--madmen, but spies. If you wish them to remain here during +our little conversation, say the word. It is nothing to me.' + +'Why should I wish them to remain here?' said Mrs Clennam. 'What have I +to do with them?' + +'Then, dearest madame,' said Rigaud, throwing himself into an arm-chair +so heavily that the old room trembled, 'you will do well to dismiss +them. It is your affair. They are not my spies, not my rascals.' + +'Hark! You Pancks,' said Mrs Clennam, bending her brows upon him +angrily, 'you Casby's clerk! Attend to your employer's business and your +own. Go. And take that other man with you.' + +'Thank you, ma'am,' returned Mr Pancks, 'I am glad to say I see no +objection to our both retiring. We have done all we undertook to do for +Mr Clennam. His constant anxiety has been (and it grew worse upon him +when he became a prisoner), that this agreeable gentleman should be +brought back here to the place from which he slipped away. Here he +is--brought back. And I will say,' added Mr Pancks, 'to his ill-looking +face, that in my opinion the world would be no worse for his slipping +out of it altogether.' + +'Your opinion is not asked,' answered Mrs Clennam. 'Go.' + +'I am sorry not to leave you in better company, ma'am,' said Pancks; +'and sorry, too, that Mr Clennam can't be present. It's my fault, that +is.' + +'You mean his own,' she returned. + +'No, I mean mine, ma'am,' said Pancks, 'for it was my misfortune to lead +him into a ruinous investment.' (Mr Pancks still clung to that word, +and never said speculation.) 'Though I can prove by figures,' added Mr +Pancks, with an anxious countenance, 'that it ought to have been a good +investment. I have gone over it since it failed, every day of my life, +and it comes out--regarded as a question of figures--triumphant. The +present is not a time or place,' Mr Pancks pursued, with a longing +glance into his hat, where he kept his calculations, 'for entering upon +the figures; but the figures are not to be disputed. Mr Clennam ought to +have been at this moment in his carriage and pair, and I ought to have +been worth from three to five thousand pound.' + +Mr Pancks put his hair erect with a general aspect of confidence that +could hardly have been surpassed, if he had had the amount in his +pocket. These incontrovertible figures had been the occupation of every +moment of his leisure since he had lost his money, and were destined to +afford him consolation to the end of his days. + +'However,' said Mr Pancks, 'enough of that. Altro, old boy, you have +seen the figures, and you know how they come out.' Mr Baptist, who had +not the slightest arithmetical power of compensating himself in this +way, nodded, with a fine display of bright teeth. + +At whom Mr Flintwinch had been looking, and to whom he then said: + +'Oh! it's you, is it? I thought I remembered your face, but I wasn't +certain till I saw your teeth. Ah! yes, to be sure. It was this +officious refugee,' said Jeremiah to Mrs Clennam, 'who came knocking +at the door on the night when Arthur and Chatterbox were here, and who +asked me a whole Catechism of questions about Mr Blandois.' + +'It is true,' Mr Baptist cheerfully admitted. 'And behold him, padrone! +I have found him consequentementally.' + +'I shouldn't have objected,' returned Mr Flintwinch, 'to your having +broken your neck consequentementally.' + +'And now,' said Mr Pancks, whose eye had often stealthily wandered to +the window-seat and the stocking that was being mended there, 'I've +only one other word to say before I go. If Mr Clennam was here--but +unfortunately, though he has so far got the better of this fine +gentleman as to return him to this place against his will, he is ill +and in prison--ill and in prison, poor fellow--if he was here,' said Mr +Pancks, taking one step aside towards the window-seat, and laying +his right hand upon the stocking; 'he would say, "Affery, tell your +dreams!"' + +Mr Pancks held up his right forefinger between his nose and the stocking +with a ghostly air of warning, turned, steamed out and towed Mr Baptist +after him. The house-door was heard to close upon them, their steps +were heard passing over the dull pavement of the echoing court-yard, and +still nobody had added a word. Mrs Clennam and Jeremiah had exchanged a +look; and had then looked, and looked still, at Affery, who sat mending +the stocking with great assiduity. + +'Come!' said Mr Flintwinch at length, screwing himself a curve or two in +the direction of the window-seat, and rubbing the palms of his hands on +his coat-tail as if he were preparing them to do something: 'Whatever +has to be said among us had better be begun to be said without more loss +of time.--So, Affery, my woman, take yourself away!' + +In a moment Affery had thrown the stocking down, started up, caught +hold of the windowsill with her right hand, lodged herself upon the +window-seat with her right knee, and was flourishing her left hand, +beating expected assailants off. + +'No, I won't, Jeremiah--no, I won't--no, I won't! I won't go! I'll stay +here. I'll hear all I don't know, and say all I know. I will, at last, +if I die for it. I will, I will, I will, I will!' + +Mr Flintwinch, stiffening with indignation and amazement, moistened the +fingers of one hand at his lips, softly described a circle with them in +the palm of the other hand, and continued with a menacing grin to +screw himself in the direction of his wife; gasping some remark as he +advanced, of which, in his choking anger, only the words, 'Such a dose!' +were audible. + +'Not a bit nearer, Jeremiah!' cried Affery, never ceasing to beat the +air. 'Don't come a bit nearer to me, or I'll rouse the neighbourhood! +I'll throw myself out of window. I'll scream Fire and Murder! I'll wake +the dead! Stop where you are, or I'll make shrieks enough to wake the +dead!' + +The determined voice of Mrs Clennam echoed 'Stop!' Jeremiah had stopped +already. + +'It is closing in, Flintwinch. Let her alone. Affery, do you turn +against me after these many years?' + +'I do, if it's turning against you to hear what I don't know, and say +what I know. I have broke out now, and I can't go back. I am determined +to do it. I will do it, I will, I will, I will! If that's turning +against you, yes, I turn against both of you two clever ones. I told +Arthur when he first come home to stand up against you. I told him it +was no reason, because I was afeard of my life of you, that he should +be. All manner of things have been a-going on since then, and I won't +be run up by Jeremiah, nor yet I won't be dazed and scared, nor made a +party to I don't know what, no more. I won't, I won't, I won't! I'll +up for Arthur when he has nothing left, and is ill, and in prison, and +can't up for himself. I will, I will, I will, I will!' + +'How do you know, you heap of confusion,' asked Mrs Clennam sternly, +'that in doing what you are doing now, you are even serving Arthur?' + +'I don't know nothing rightly about anything,' said Affery; 'and if +ever you said a true word in your life, it's when you call me a heap of +confusion, for you two clever ones have done your most to make me such. +You married me whether I liked it or not, and you've led me, pretty well +ever since, such a life of dreaming and frightening as never was known, +and what do you expect me to be but a heap of confusion? You wanted to +make me such, and I am such; but I won't submit no longer; no, I won't, +I won't, I won't, I won't!' She was still beating the air against all +comers. + +After gazing at her in silence, Mrs Clennam turned to Rigaud. 'You +see and hear this foolish creature. Do you object to such a piece of +distraction remaining where she is?' + +'I, madame,' he replied, 'do I? That's a question for you.' + +'I do not,' she said, gloomily. 'There is little left to choose now. +Flintwinch, it is closing in.' + +Mr Flintwinch replied by directing a look of red vengeance at his wife, +and then, as if to pinion himself from falling upon her, screwed his +crossed arms into the breast of his waistcoat, and with his chin very +near one of his elbows stood in a corner, watching Rigaud in the oddest +attitude. Rigaud, for his part, arose from his chair, and seated himself +on the table with his legs dangling. In this easy attitude, he met Mrs +Clennam's set face, with his moustache going up and his nose coming +down. + +'Madame, I am a gentleman--' + +'Of whom,' she interrupted in her steady tones, 'I have heard +disparagement, in connection with a French jail and an accusation of +murder.' + +He kissed his hand to her with his exaggerated gallantry. + +'Perfectly. Exactly. Of a lady too! What absurdity! How incredible! I +had the honour of making a great success then; I hope to have the +honour of making a great success now. I kiss your hands. Madame, I am a +gentleman (I was going to observe), who when he says, "I will definitely +finish this or that affair at the present sitting," does definitely +finish it. I announce to you that we are arrived at our last sitting on +our little business. You do me the favour to follow, and to comprehend?' + +She kept her eyes fixed upon him with a frown. 'Yes.' + +'Further, I am a gentleman to whom mere mercenary trade-bargains are +unknown, but to whom money is always acceptable as the means of pursuing +his pleasures. You do me the favour to follow, and to comprehend?' + +'Scarcely necessary to ask, one would say. Yes.' + +'Further, I am a gentleman of the softest and sweetest disposition, +but who, if trifled with, becomes enraged. Noble natures under such +circumstances become enraged. I possess a noble nature. When the lion +is awakened--that is to say, when I enrage--the satisfaction of my +animosity is as acceptable to me as money. You always do me the favour +to follow, and to comprehend?' + +'Yes,' she answered, somewhat louder than before. + +'Do not let me derange you; pray be tranquil. I have said we are now +arrived at our last sitting. Allow me to recall the two sittings we have +held.' + +'It is not necessary.' + +'Death, madame,' he burst out, 'it's my fancy! Besides, it clears the +way. The first sitting was limited. I had the honour of making your +acquaintance--of presenting my letter; I am a Knight of Industry, at +your service, madame, but my polished manners had won me so much of +success, as a master of languages, among your compatriots who are as +stiff as their own starch is to one another, but are ready to relax to +a foreign gentleman of polished manners--and of observing one or two +little things,' he glanced around the room and smiled, 'about this +honourable house, to know which was necessary to assure me, and +to convince me that I had the distinguished pleasure of making the +acquaintance of the lady I sought. I achieved this. I gave my word +of honour to our dear Flintwinch that I would return. I gracefully +departed.' + +Her face neither acquiesced nor demurred. The same when he paused, and +when he spoke, it as yet showed him always the one attentive frown, +and the dark revelation before mentioned of her being nerved for the +occasion. + +'I say, gracefully departed, because it was graceful to retire without +alarming a lady. To be morally graceful, not less than physically, is +a part of the character of Rigaud Blandois. It was also politic, as +leaving you with something overhanging you, to expect me again with a +little anxiety on a day not named. But your slave is politic. By Heaven, +madame, politic! Let us return. On the day not named, I have again the +honour to render myself at your house. I intimate that I have something +to sell, which, if not bought, will compromise madame whom I highly +esteem. I explain myself generally. I demand--I think it was a thousand +pounds. Will you correct me?' + +Thus forced to speak, she replied with constraint, 'You demanded as much +as a thousand pounds.' + +'I demand at present, Two. Such are the evils of delay. But to return +once more. We are not accordant; we differ on that occasion. I am +playful; playfulness is a part of my amiable character. Playfully, I +become as one slain and hidden. For, it may alone be worth half the sum +to madame, to be freed from the suspicions that my droll idea awakens. +Accident and spies intermix themselves against my playfulness, and spoil +the fruit, perhaps--who knows? only you and Flintwinch--when it is just +ripe. Thus, madame, I am here for the last time. Listen! Definitely the +last.' + +As he struck his straggling boot-heels against the flap of the table, +meeting her frown with an insolent gaze, he began to change his tone for +a fierce one. + +'Bah! Stop an instant! Let us advance by steps. Here is my Hotel-note to +be paid, according to contract. Five minutes hence we may be at daggers' +points. I'll not leave it till then, or you'll cheat me. Pay it! Count +me the money!' + +'Take it from his hand and pay it, Flintwinch,' said Mrs Clennam. + +He spirted it into Mr Flintwinch's face when the old man advanced to +take it, and held forth his hand, repeating noisily, 'Pay it! Count it +out! Good money!' Jeremiah picked the bill up, looked at the total with +a bloodshot eye, took a small canvas bag from his pocket, and told the +amount into his hand. + +Rigaud chinked the money, weighed it in his hand, threw it up a little +way and caught it, chinked it again. + +'The sound of it, to the bold Rigaud Blandois, is like the taste of +fresh meat to the tiger. Say, then, madame. How much?' + +He turned upon her suddenly with a menacing gesture of the weighted hand +that clenched the money, as if he were going to strike her with it. + +'I tell you again, as I told you before, that we are not rich here, as +you suppose us to be, and that your demand is excessive. I have not the +present means of complying with such a demand, if I had ever so great an +inclination.' + +'If!' cried Rigaud. 'Hear this lady with her If! Will you say that you +have not the inclination?' + +'I will say what presents itself to me, and not what presents itself to +you.' + +'Say it then. As to the inclination. Quick! Come to the inclination, and +I know what to do.' + +She was no quicker, and no slower, in her reply. 'It would seem that +you have obtained possession of a paper--or of papers--which I assuredly +have the inclination to recover.' + +Rigaud, with a loud laugh, drummed his heels against the table, and +chinked his money. 'I think so! I believe you there!' + +'The paper might be worth, to me, a sum of money. I cannot say how much, +or how little.' + +'What the Devil!' he asked savagely. 'Not after a week's grace to +consider?' + +'No! I will not out of my scanty means--for I tell you again, we are +poor here, and not rich--I will not offer any price for a power that I +do not know the worst and the fullest extent of. This is the third time +of your hinting and threatening. You must speak explicitly, or you may +go where you will, and do what you will. It is better to be torn to +pieces at a spring, than to be a mouse at the caprice of such a cat.' + +He looked at her so hard with those eyes too near together that the +sinister sight of each, crossing that of the other, seemed to make the +bridge of his hooked nose crooked. After a long survey, he said, with +the further setting off of his internal smile: + +'You are a bold woman!' + +'I am a resolved woman.' + +'You always were. What? She always was; is it not so, my little +Flintwinch?' + +'Flintwinch, say nothing to him. It is for him to say, here and now, +all he can; or to go hence, and do all he can. You know this to be our +determination. Leave him to his action on it.' + +She did not shrink under his evil leer, or avoid it. He turned it upon +her again, but she remained steady at the point to which she had fixed +herself. He got off the table, placed a chair near the sofa, sat down in +it, and leaned an arm upon the sofa close to her own, which he touched +with his hand. Her face was ever frowning, attentive, and settled. + +'It is your pleasure then, madame, that I shall relate a morsel of +family history in this little family society,' said Rigaud, with a +warning play of his lithe fingers on her arm. 'I am something of a +doctor. Let me touch your pulse.' + +She suffered him to take her wrist in his hand. Holding it, he proceeded +to say: + +'A history of a strange marriage, and a strange mother, and a revenge, +and a suppression.--Aye, aye, aye? this pulse is beating curiously! +It appears to me that it doubles while I touch it. Are these the usual +changes of your malady, madame?' + +There was a struggle in her maimed arm as she twisted it away, but there +was none in her face. On his face there was his own smile. + +'I have lived an adventurous life. I am an adventurous character. I have +known many adventurers; interesting spirits--amiable society! To one +of them I owe my knowledge and my proofs--I repeat it, estimable +lady--proofs--of the ravishing little family history I go to commence. +You will be charmed with it. But, bah! I forget. One should name a +history. Shall I name it the history of a house? But, bah, again. There +are so many houses. Shall I name it the history of this house?' + +Leaning over the sofa, poised on two legs of his chair and his left +elbow; that hand often tapping her arm to beat his words home; his +legs crossed; his right hand sometimes arranging his hair, sometimes +smoothing his moustache, sometimes striking his nose, always threatening +her whatever it did; coarse, insolent, rapacious, cruel, and powerful, +he pursued his narrative at his ease. + +'In fine, then, I name it the history of this house. I commence it. +There live here, let us suppose, an uncle and nephew. The uncle, a +rigid old gentleman of strong force of character; the nephew, habitually +timid, repressed, and under constraint.' + +Mistress Affery, fixedly attentive in the window-seat, biting the +rolled up end of her apron, and trembling from head to foot, here cried +out,'Jeremiah, keep off from me! I've heerd, in my dreams, of Arthur's +father and his uncle. He's a talking of them. It was before my time +here; but I've heerd in my dreams that Arthur's father was a poor, +irresolute, frightened chap, who had had everything but his orphan life +scared out of him when he was young, and that he had no voice in the +choice of his wife even, but his uncle chose her. There she sits! I +heerd it in my dreams, and you said it to her own self.' + +As Mr Flintwinch shook his fist at her, and as Mrs Clennam gazed upon +her, Rigaud kissed his hand to her. + +'Perfectly right, dear Madame Flintwinch. You have a genius for +dreaming.' + +'I don't want none of your praises,' returned Affery. 'I don't want to +have nothing at all to say to you. But Jeremiah said they was dreams, +and I'll tell 'em as such!' Here she put her apron in her mouth again, +as if she were stopping somebody else's mouth--perhaps Jeremiah's, which +was chattering with threats as if he were grimly cold. + +'Our beloved Madame Flintwinch,' said Rigaud, 'developing all of a +sudden a fine susceptibility and spirituality, is right to a marvel. +Yes. So runs the history. Monsieur, the uncle, commands the nephew to +marry. Monsieur says to him in effect, "My nephew, I introduce to you a +lady of strong force of character, like myself--a resolved lady, a stern +lady, a lady who has a will that can break the weak to powder: a lady +without pity, without love, implacable, revengeful, cold as the stone, +but raging as the fire." Ah! what fortitude! Ah, what superiority of +intellectual strength! Truly, a proud and noble character that I +describe in the supposed words of Monsieur, the uncle. Ha, ha, ha! Death +of my soul, I love the sweet lady!' + +Mrs Clennam's face had changed. There was a remarkable darkness of +colour on it, and the brow was more contracted. 'Madame, madame,' said +Rigaud, tapping her on the arm, as if his cruel hand were sounding a +musical instrument, 'I perceive I interest you. I perceive I awaken your +sympathy. Let us go on.' + +The drooping nose and the ascending moustache had, however, to be hidden +for a moment with the white hand, before he could go on; he enjoyed the +effect he made so much. + +'The nephew, being, as the lucid Madame Flintwinch has remarked, a poor +devil who has had everything but his orphan life frightened and famished +out of him--the nephew abases his head, and makes response: "My uncle, +it is to you to command. Do as you will!" Monsieur, the uncle, does as +he will. It is what he always does. The auspicious nuptials take place; +the newly married come home to this charming mansion; the lady is +received, let us suppose, by Flintwinch. Hey, old intriguer?' + +Jeremiah, with his eyes upon his mistress, made no reply. Rigaud looked +from one to the other, struck his ugly nose, and made a clucking with +his tongue. + +'Soon the lady makes a singular and exciting discovery. Thereupon, +full of anger, full of jealousy, full of vengeance, she forms--see you, +madame!--a scheme of retribution, the weight of which she ingeniously +forces her crushed husband to bear himself, as well as execute upon her +enemy. What superior intelligence!' + +'Keep off, Jeremiah!' cried the palpitating Affery, taking her apron +from her mouth again. 'But it was one of my dreams, that you told her, +when you quarrelled with her one winter evening at dusk--there she sits +and you looking at her--that she oughtn't to have let Arthur when he +come home, suspect his father only; that she had always had the strength +and the power; and that she ought to have stood up more to Arthur, for +his father. It was in the same dream where you said to her that she was +not--not something, but I don't know what, for she burst out tremendous +and stopped you. You know the dream as well as I do. When you come +down-stairs into the kitchen with the candle in your hand, and hitched +my apron off my head. When you told me I had been dreaming. When you +wouldn't believe the noises.' After this explosion Affery put her apron +into her mouth again; always keeping her hand on the window-sill and her +knee on the window-seat, ready to cry out or jump out if her lord and +master approached. + +Rigaud had not lost a word of this. + +'Haha!' he cried, lifting his eyebrows, folding his arms, and leaning +back in his chair. 'Assuredly, Madame Flintwinch is an oracle! How shall +we interpret the oracle, you and I and the old intriguer? He said that +you were not--? And you burst out and stopped him! What was it you were +not? What is it you are not? Say then, madame!' + +Under this ferocious banter, she sat breathing harder, and her mouth was +disturbed. Her lips quivered and opened, in spite of her utmost efforts +to keep them still. + +'Come then, madame! Speak, then! Our old intriguer said that you were +not--and you stopped him. He was going to say that you were not--what? +I know already, but I want a little confidence from you. How, then? You +are not what?' + +She tried again to repress herself, but broke out vehemently, 'Not +Arthur's mother!' + +'Good,' said Rigaud. 'You are amenable.' + +With the set expression of her face all torn away by the explosion +of her passion, and with a bursting, from every rent feature, of the +smouldering fire so long pent up, she cried out: 'I will tell it myself! +I will not hear it from your lips, and with the taint of your wickedness +upon it. Since it must be seen, I will have it seen by the light I stood +in. Not another word. Hear me!' + +'Unless you are a more obstinate and more persisting woman than even +I know you to be,' Mr Flintwinch interposed, 'you had better leave Mr +Rigaud, Mr Blandois, Mr Beelzebub, to tell it in his own way. What does +it signify when he knows all about it?' + +'He does not know all about it.' + +'He knows all he cares about it,' Mr Flintwinch testily urged. + +'He does not know _me_.' + +'What do you suppose he cares for you, you conceited woman?' said Mr +Flintwinch. + +'I tell you, Flintwinch, I will speak. I tell you when it has come +to this, I will tell it with my own lips, and will express myself +throughout it. What! Have I suffered nothing in this room, no +deprivation, no imprisonment, that I should condescend at last to +contemplate myself in such a glass as _that_. Can you see him? Can you +hear him? If your wife were a hundred times the ingrate that she is, and +if I were a thousand times more hopeless than I am of inducing her to be +silent if this man is silenced, I would tell it myself, before I would +bear the torment of the hearing it from him.' + +Rigaud pushed his chair a little back; pushed his legs out straight +before him; and sat with his arms folded over against her. + +'You do not know what it is,' she went on addressing him, 'to be brought +up strictly and straitly. I was so brought up. Mine was no light youth +of sinful gaiety and pleasure. Mine were days of wholesome repression, +punishment, and fear. The corruption of our hearts, the evil of our +ways, the curse that is upon us, the terrors that surround us--these +were the themes of my childhood. They formed my character, and filled me +with an abhorrence of evil-doers. When old Mr Gilbert Clennam proposed +his orphan nephew to my father for my husband, my father impressed upon +me that his bringing-up had been, like mine, one of severe restraint. +He told me, that besides the discipline his spirit had undergone, he +had lived in a starved house, where rioting and gaiety were unknown, and +where every day was a day of toil and trial like the last. He told me +that he had been a man in years long before his uncle had acknowledged +him as one; and that from his school-days to that hour, his uncle's roof +has been a sanctuary to him from the contagion of the irreligious +and dissolute. When, within a twelvemonth of our marriage, I found +my husband, at that time when my father spoke of him, to have sinned +against the Lord and outraged me by holding a guilty creature in my +place, was I to doubt that it had been appointed to me to make the +discovery, and that it was appointed to me to lay the hand of punishment +upon that creature of perdition? Was I to dismiss in a moment--not my +own wrongs--what was I! but all the rejection of sin, and all the war +against it, in which I had been bred?' + +She laid her wrathful hand upon the watch on the table. + +'No! "Do not forget." The initials of those words are within here now, +and were within here then. I was appointed to find the old letter that +referred to them, and that told me what they meant, and whose work they +were, and why they were worked, lying with this watch in his secret +drawer. But for that appointment there would have been no discovery. +"Do not forget." It spoke to me like a voice from an angry cloud. Do +not forget the deadly sin, do not forget the appointed discovery, do not +forget the appointed suffering. I did not forget. Was it my own wrong I +remembered? Mine! I was but a servant and a minister. What power could I +have over them, but that they were bound in the bonds of their sin, and +delivered to me!' + +More than forty years had passed over the grey head of this determined +woman, since the time she recalled. More than forty years of strife +and struggle with the whisper that, by whatever name she called her +vindictive pride and rage, nothing through all eternity could change +their nature. Yet, gone those more than forty years, and come this +Nemesis now looking her in the face, she still abided by her old +impiety--still reversed the order of Creation, and breathed her own +breath into a clay image of her Creator. Verily, verily, travellers have +seen many monstrous idols in many countries; but no human eyes have ever +seen more daring, gross, and shocking images of the Divine nature than +we creatures of the dust make in our own likenesses, of our own bad +passions. + +'When I forced him to give her up to me, by her name and place of +abode,' she went on in her torrent of indignation and defence; 'when I +accused her, and she fell hiding her face at my feet, was it my injury +that I asserted, were they my reproaches that I poured upon her? Those +who were appointed of old to go to wicked kings and accuse them--were +they not ministers and servants? And had not I, unworthy and far-removed +from them, sin to denounce? When she pleaded to me her youth, and his +wretched and hard life (that was her phrase for the virtuous training he +had belied), and the desecrated ceremony of marriage there had +secretly been between them, and the terrors of want and shame that had +overwhelmed them both when I was first appointed to be the instrument of +their punishment, and the love (for she said the word to me, down at my +feet) in which she had abandoned him and left him to me, was it _my_ +enemy that became my footstool, were they the words of my wrath that +made her shrink and quiver! Not unto me the strength be ascribed; not +unto me the wringing of the expiation!' + +Many years had come and gone since she had had the free use even of +her fingers; but it was noticeable that she had already more than once +struck her clenched hand vigorously upon the table, and that when she +said these words she raised her whole arm in the air, as though it had +been a common action with her. + +'And what was the repentance that was extorted from the hardness of her +heart and the blackness of her depravity? I, vindictive and implacable? +It may be so, to such as you who know no righteousness, and no +appointment except Satan's. Laugh; but I will be known as I know +myself, and as Flintwinch knows me, though it is only to you and this +half-witted woman.' + +'Add, to yourself, madame,' said Rigaud. 'I have my little suspicions +that madame is rather solicitous to be justified to herself.' + +'It is false. It is not so. I have no need to be,' she said, with great +energy and anger. + +'Truly?' retorted Rigaud. 'Hah!' + +'I ask, what was the penitence, in works, that was demanded of her? +"You have a child; I have none. You love that child. Give him to me. He +shall believe himself to be my son, and he shall be believed by every +one to be my son. To save you from exposure, his father shall swear +never to see or communicate with you more; equally to save him from +being stripped by his uncle, and to save your child from being a beggar, +you shall swear never to see or communicate with either of them more. +That done, and your present means, derived from my husband, renounced, +I charge myself with your support. You may, with your place of retreat +unknown, then leave, if you please, uncontradicted by me, the lie that +when you passed out of all knowledge but mine, you merited a good name." +That was all. She had to sacrifice her sinful and shameful affections; +no more. She was then free to bear her load of guilt in secret, and to +break her heart in secret; and through such present misery (light enough +for her, I think!) to purchase her redemption from endless misery, if +she could. If, in this, I punished her here, did I not open to her a way +hereafter? If she knew herself to be surrounded by insatiable vengeance +and unquenchable fires, were they mine? If I threatened her, then and +afterwards, with the terrors that encompassed her, did I hold them in my +right hand?' + +She turned the watch upon the table, and opened it, and, with an +unsoftening face, looked at the worked letters within. + +'They did _not_ forget. It is appointed against such offences that the +offenders shall not be able to forget. If the presence of Arthur was a +daily reproach to his father, and if the absence of Arthur was a daily +agony to his mother, that was the just dispensation of Jehovah. As well +might it be charged upon me, that the stings of an awakened conscience +drove her mad, and that it was the will of the Disposer of all things +that she should live so, many years. I devoted myself to reclaim the +otherwise predestined and lost boy; to give him the reputation of an +honest origin; to bring him up in fear and trembling, and in a life of +practical contrition for the sins that were heavy on his head before his +entrance into this condemned world. Was that a cruelty? Was I, too, +not visited with consequences of the original offence in which I had no +complicity? Arthur's father and I lived no further apart, with half the +globe between us, than when we were together in this house. He died, +and sent this watch back to me, with its Do not forget. I do NOT forget, +though I do not read it as he did. I read in it, that I was appointed +to do these things. I have so read these three letters since I have +had them lying on this table, and I did so read them, with equal +distinctness, when they were thousands of miles away.' + +As she took the watch-case in her hand, with that new freedom in the use +of her hand of which she showed no consciousness whatever, bending her +eyes upon it as if she were defying it to move her, Rigaud cried with a +loud and contemptuous snapping of his fingers. 'Come, madame! Time runs +out. Come, lady of piety, it must be! You can tell nothing I don't know. +Come to the money stolen, or I will! Death of my soul, I have had enough +of your other jargon. Come straight to the stolen money!' + +'Wretch that you are,' she answered, and now her hands clasped her head: +'through what fatal error of Flintwinch's, through what incompleteness +on his part, who was the only other person helping in these things and +trusted with them, through whose and what bringing together of the ashes +of a burnt paper, you have become possessed of that codicil, I know no +more than how you acquired the rest of your power here--' + +'And yet,' interrupted Rigaud, 'it is my odd fortune to have by me, in a +convenient place that I know of, that same short little addition to the +will of Monsieur Gilbert Clennam, written by a lady and witnessed by the +same lady and our old intriguer! Ah, bah, old intriguer, crooked little +puppet! Madame, let us go on. Time presses. You or I to finish?' + +'I!' she answered, with increased determination, if it were possible. +'I, because I will not endure to be shown myself, and have myself +shown to any one, with your horrible distortion upon me. You, with your +practices of infamous foreign prisons and galleys would make it the +money that impelled me. It was not the money.' + +'Bah, bah, bah! I repudiate, for the moment, my politeness, and say, +Lies, lies, lies. You know you suppressed the deed and kept the money.' + +'Not for the money's sake, wretch!' She made a struggle as if she were +starting up; even as if, in her vehemence, she had almost risen on her +disabled feet. 'If Gilbert Clennam, reduced to imbecility, at the point +of death, and labouring under the delusion of some imaginary relenting +towards a girl of whom he had heard that his nephew had once had a fancy +for her which he had crushed out of him, and that she afterwards drooped +away into melancholy and withdrawal from all who knew her--if, in that +state of weakness, he dictated to me, whose life she had darkened with +her sin, and who had been appointed to know her wickedness from her +own hand and her own lips, a bequest meant as a recompense to her +for supposed unmerited suffering; was there no difference between my +spurning that injustice, and coveting mere money--a thing which you, and +your comrades in the prisons, may steal from anyone?' + +'Time presses, madame. Take care!' + +'If this house was blazing from the roof to the ground,' she returned, +'I would stay in it to justify myself against my righteous motives being +classed with those of stabbers and thieves.' + +Rigaud snapped his fingers tauntingly in her face. 'One thousand guineas +to the little beauty you slowly hunted to death. One thousand guineas +to the youngest daughter her patron might have at fifty, or (if he +had none) brother's youngest daughter, on her coming of age, "as the +remembrance his disinterestedness may like best, of his protection of +a friendless young orphan girl." Two thousand guineas. What! You will +never come to the money?' + +'That patron,' she was vehemently proceeding, when he checked her. + +'Names! Call him Mr Frederick Dorrit. No more evasions.' + +'That Frederick Dorrit was the beginning of it all. If he had not been +a player of music, and had not kept, in those days of his youth and +prosperity, an idle house where singers, and players, and such-like +children of Evil turned their backs on the Light and their faces to the +Darkness, she might have remained in her lowly station, and might not +have been raised out of it to be cast down. But, no. Satan entered into +that Frederick Dorrit, and counselled him that he was a man of innocent +and laudable tastes who did kind actions, and that here was a poor girl +with a voice for singing music with. Then he is to have her taught. Then +Arthur's father, who has all along been secretly pining in the ways of +virtuous ruggedness for those accursed snares which are called the Arts, +becomes acquainted with her. And so, a graceless orphan, training to be +a singing girl, carries it, by that Frederick Dorrit's agency, against +me, and I am humbled and deceived!--Not I, that is to say,' she added +quickly, as colour flushed into her face; 'a greater than I. What am I?' + +Jeremiah Flintwinch, who had been gradually screwing himself towards +her, and who was now very near her elbow without her knowing it, made a +specially wry face of objection when she said these words, and moreover +twitched his gaiters, as if such pretensions were equivalent to little +barbs in his legs. + +'Lastly,' she continued, 'for I am at the end of these things, and I +will say no more of them, and you shall say no more of them, and all +that remains will be to determine whether the knowledge of them can +be kept among us who are here present; lastly, when I suppressed that +paper, with the knowledge of Arthur's father--' + +'But not with his consent, you know,' said Mr Flintwinch. + +'Who said with his consent?' She started to find Jeremiah so near her, +and drew back her head, looking at him with some rising distrust. 'You +were often enough between us when he would have had me produce it and +I would not, to have contradicted me if I had said, with his consent. I +say, when I suppressed that paper, I made no effort to destroy it, but +kept it by me, here in this house, many years. The rest of the Gilbert +property being left to Arthur's father, I could at any time, without +unsettling more than the two sums, have made a pretence of finding +it. But, besides that I must have supported such pretence by a direct +falsehood (a great responsibility), I have seen no new reason, in +all the time I have been tried here, to bring it to light. It was a +rewarding of sin; the wrong result of a delusion. I did what I was +appointed to do, and I have undergone, within these four walls, what +I was appointed to undergo. When the paper was at last destroyed--as +I thought--in my presence, she had long been dead, and her patron, +Frederick Dorrit, had long been deservedly ruined and imbecile. He had +no daughter. I had found the niece before then; and what I did for her, +was better for her far than the money of which she would have had no +good.' She added, after a moment, as though she addressed the watch: +'She herself was innocent, and I might not have forgotten to relinquish +it to her at my death:' and sat looking at it. + +'Shall I recall something to you, worthy madame?' said Rigaud. 'The +little paper was in this house on the night when our friend the +prisoner--jail-comrade of my soul--came home from foreign countries. +Shall I recall yet something more to you? The little singing-bird +that never was fledged, was long kept in a cage by a guardian of your +appointing, well enough known to our old intriguer here. Shall we coax +our old intriguer to tell us when he saw him last?' + +'I'll tell you!' cried Affery, unstopping her mouth. 'I dreamed it, +first of all my dreams. Jeremiah, if you come a-nigh me now, I'll scream +to be heard at St Paul's! The person as this man has spoken of, was +Jeremiah's own twin brother; and he was here in the dead of the night, +on the night when Arthur come home, and Jeremiah with his own hands give +him this paper, along with I don't know what more, and he took it away +in an iron box--Help! Murder! Save me from Jere-_mi_-ah!' + +Mr Flintwinch had made a run at her, but Rigaud had caught him in his +arms midway. After a moment's wrestle with him, Flintwinch gave up, and +put his hands in his pockets. + +'What!' cried Rigaud, rallying him as he poked and jerked him back with +his elbows, 'assault a lady with such a genius for dreaming! Ha, ha, ha! +Why, she'll be a fortune to you as an exhibition. All that she dreams +comes true. Ha, ha, ha! You're so like him, Little Flintwinch. So like +him, as I knew him (when I first spoke English for him to the host) in +the Cabaret of the Three Billiard Tables, in the little street of the +high roofs, by the wharf at Antwerp! Ah, but he was a brave boy to +drink. Ah, but he was a brave boy to smoke! Ah, but he lived in a sweet +bachelor-apartment--furnished, on the fifth floor, above the wood and +charcoal merchant's, and the dress-maker's, and the chair-maker's, and +the maker of tubs--where I knew him too, and wherewith his cognac and +tobacco, he had twelve sleeps a day and one fit, until he had a fit too +much, and ascended to the skies. Ha, ha, ha! What does it matter how I +took possession of the papers in his iron box? Perhaps he confided it +to my hands for you, perhaps it was locked and my curiosity was piqued, +perhaps I suppressed it. Ha, ha, ha! What does it matter, so that I +have it safe? We are not particular here; hey, Flintwinch? We are not +particular here; is it not so, madame?' + +Retiring before him with vicious counter-jerks of his own elbows, Mr +Flintwinch had got back into his corner, where he now stood with his +hands in his pockets, taking breath, and returning Mrs Clennam's stare. +'Ha, ha, ha! But what's this?' cried Rigaud. 'It appears as if you +don't know, one the other. Permit me, Madame Clennam who suppresses, to +present Monsieur Flintwinch who intrigues.' + +Mr Flintwinch, unpocketing one of his hands to scrape his jaw, advanced +a step or so in that attitude, still returning Mrs Clennam's look, and +thus addressed her: + +'Now, I know what you mean by opening your eyes so wide at me, but you +needn't take the trouble, because I don't care for it. I've been telling +you for how many years that you're one of the most opinionated and +obstinate of women. That's what _you_ are. You call yourself humble and +sinful, but you are the most Bumptious of your sex. That's what _you_ are. +I have told you, over and over again when we have had a tiff, that you +wanted to make everything go down before you, but I wouldn't go down +before you--that you wanted to swallow up everybody alive, but I +wouldn't be swallowed up alive. Why didn't you destroy the paper when +you first laid hands upon it? I advised you to; but no, it's not your +way to take advice. You must keep it forsooth. Perhaps you may carry it +out at some other time, forsooth. As if I didn't know better than that! +I think I see your pride carrying it out, with a chance of being +suspected of having kept it by you. But that's the way you cheat +yourself. Just as you cheat yourself into making out that you didn't do +all this business because you were a rigorous woman, all slight, and +spite, and power, and unforgiveness, but because you were a servant and +a minister, and were appointed to do it. Who are you, that you should +be appointed to do it? That may be your religion, but it's my gammon. +And to tell you all the truth while I am about it,' said Mr Flintwinch, +crossing his arms, and becoming the express image of irascible +doggedness, 'I have been rasped--rasped these forty years--by your +taking such high ground even with me, who knows better; the effect of it +being coolly to put me on low ground. I admire you very much; you are a +woman of strong head and great talent; but the strongest head, and the +greatest talent, can't rasp a man for forty years without making him +sore. So I don't care for your present eyes. Now, I am coming to the +paper, and mark what I say. You put it away somewhere, and you kept your +own counsel where. You're an active woman at that time, and if you want +to get that paper, you can get it. But, mark. There comes a time when +you are struck into what you are now, and then if you want to get that +paper, you can't get it. So it lies, long years, in its hiding-place. At +last, when we are expecting Arthur home every day, and when any day may +bring him home, and it's impossible to say what rummaging he may make +about the house, I recommend you five thousand times, if you can't get +at it, to let me get at it, that it may be put in the fire. But no--no +one but you knows where it is, and that's power; and, call yourself +whatever humble names you will, I call you a female Lucifer in appetite +for power! On a Sunday night, Arthur comes home. He has not been in this +room ten minutes, when he speaks of his father's watch. You know very +well that the Do Not Forget, at the time when his father sent that watch +to you, could only mean, the rest of the story being then all dead and +over, Do Not Forget the suppression. Make restitution! Arthur's ways +have frightened you a bit, and the paper shall be burnt after all. So, +before that jumping jade and Jezebel,' Mr Flintwinch grinned at his +wife, 'has got you into bed, you at last tell me where you have put the +paper, among the old ledgers in the cellars, where Arthur himself went +prowling the very next morning. But it's not to be burnt on a Sunday +night. No; you are strict, you are; we must wait over twelve o'clock, +and get into Monday. Now, all this is a swallowing of me up alive that +rasps me; so, feeling a little out of temper, and not being as strict as +yourself, I take a look at the document before twelve o'clock to refresh +my memory as to its appearance--fold up one of the many yellow old +papers in the cellars like it--and afterwards, when we have got into +Monday morning, and I have, by the light of your lamp, to walk from you, +lying on that bed, to this grate, make a little exchange like the +conjuror, and burn accordingly. My brother Ephraim, the lunatic-keeper +(I wish he had had himself to keep in a strait-waistcoat), had had many +jobs since the close of the long job he got from you, but had not done +well. His wife died (not that that was much; mine might have died +instead, and welcome), he speculated unsuccessfully in lunatics, he got +into difficulty about over-roasting a patient to bring him to reason, +and he got into debt. He was going out of the way, on what he had been +able to scrape up, and a trifle from me. He was here that early Monday +morning, waiting for the tide; in short, he was going to Antwerp, where +(I am afraid you'll be shocked at my saying, And be damned to him!) he +made the acquaintance of this gentleman. He had come a long way, and, I +thought then, was only sleepy; but, I suppose now, was drunk. When +Arthur's mother had been under the care of him and his wife, she had +been always writing, incessantly writing,--mostly letters of confession +to you, and Prayers for forgiveness. My brother had handed, from time to +time, lots of these sheets to me. I thought I might as well keep them to +myself as have them swallowed up alive too; so I kept them in a box, +looking over them when I felt in the humour. Convinced that it was +advisable to get the paper out of the place, with Arthur coming about +it, I put it into this same box, and I locked the whole up with two +locks, and I trusted it to my brother to take away and keep, till I +should write about it. I did write about it, and never got an answer. I +didn't know what to make of it, till this gentleman favoured us with his +first visit. Of course, I began to suspect how it was, then; and I don't +want his word for it now to understand how he gets his knowledge from my +papers, and your paper, and my brother's cognac and tobacco talk (I wish +he'd had to gag himself). Now, I have only one thing more to say, you +hammer-headed woman, and that is, that I haven't altogether made up my +mind whether I might, or might not, have ever given you any trouble +about the codicil. I think not; and that I should have been quite +satisfied with knowing I had got the better of you, and that I held the +power over you. In the present state of circumstances, I have no more +explanation to give you till this time to-morrow night. So you may as +well,' said Mr Flintwinch, terminating his oration with a screw, 'keep +your eyes open at somebody else, for it's no use keeping 'em open at +me.' + +She slowly withdrew them when he had ceased, and dropped her forehead +on her hand. Her other hand pressed hard upon the table, and again the +curious stir was observable in her, as if she were going to rise. + +'This box can never bring, elsewhere, the price it will bring here. +This knowledge can never be of the same profit to you, sold to any other +person, as sold to me. But I have not the present means of raising the +sum you have demanded. I have not prospered. What will you take now, and +what at another time, and how am I to be assured of your silence?' + +'My angel,' said Rigaud, 'I have said what I will take, and time +presses. Before coming here, I placed copies of the most important of +these papers in another hand. Put off the time till the Marshalsea +gate shall be shut for the night, and it will be too late to treat. The +prisoner will have read them.' + +She put her two hands to her head again, uttered a loud exclamation, and +started to her feet. She staggered for a moment, as if she would have +fallen; then stood firm. + +'Say what you mean. Say what you mean, man!' + +Before her ghostly figure, so long unused to its erect attitude, and so +stiffened in it, Rigaud fell back and dropped his voice. It was, to all +the three, almost as if a dead woman had risen. + +'Miss Dorrit,' answered Rigaud, 'the little niece of Monsieur Frederick, +whom I have known across the water, is attached to the prisoner. Miss +Dorrit, little niece of Monsieur Frederick, watches at this moment over +the prisoner, who is ill. For her I with my own hands left a packet +at the prison, on my way here, with a letter of instructions, "_for his +sake_"--she will do anything for his sake--to keep it without breaking +the seal, in case of its being reclaimed before the hour of shutting up +to-night--if it should not be reclaimed before the ringing of the prison +bell, to give it to him; and it encloses a second copy for herself, +which he must give to her. What! I don't trust myself among you, now we +have got so far, without giving my secret a second life. And as to its +not bringing me, elsewhere, the price it will bring here, say then, +madame, have you limited and settled the price the little niece will +give--for his sake--to hush it up? Once more I say, time presses. The +packet not reclaimed before the ringing of the bell to-night, you cannot +buy. I sell, then, to the little girl!' + +Once more the stir and struggle in her, and she ran to a closet, tore +the door open, took down a hood or shawl, and wrapped it over her head. +Affery, who had watched her in terror, darted to her in the middle of +the room, caught hold of her dress, and went on her knees to her. + +'Don't, don't, don't! What are you doing? Where are you going? You're a +fearful woman, but I don't bear you no ill-will. I can do poor Arthur +no good now, that I see; and you needn't be afraid of me. I'll keep your +secret. Don't go out, you'll fall dead in the street. Only promise me, +that, if it's the poor thing that's kept here secretly, you'll let me +take charge of her and be her nurse. Only promise me that, and never be +afraid of me.' + +Mrs Clennam stood still for an instant, at the height of her rapid +haste, saying in stern amazement: + +'Kept here? She has been dead a score of years or more. Ask +Flintwinch--ask _him_. They can both tell you that she died when Arthur +went abroad.' + +'So much the worse,' said Affery, with a shiver, 'for she haunts the +house, then. Who else rustles about it, making signals by dropping +dust so softly? Who else comes and goes, and marks the walls with +long crooked touches when we are all a-bed? Who else holds the door +sometimes? But don't go out--don't go out! Mistress, you'll die in the +street!' + +Her mistress only disengaged her dress from the beseeching hands, said +to Rigaud, 'Wait here till I come back!' and ran out of the room. They +saw her, from the window, run wildly through the court-yard and out at +the gateway. + +For a few moments they stood motionless. Affery was the first to move, +and she, wringing her hands, pursued her mistress. Next, Jeremiah +Flintwinch, slowly backing to the door, with one hand in a pocket, and +the other rubbing his chin, twisted himself out in his reticent way, +speechlessly. Rigaud, left alone, composed himself upon the window-seat +of the open window, in the old Marseilles-jail attitude. He laid his +cigarettes and fire-box ready to his hand, and fell to smoking. + +'Whoof! Almost as dull as the infernal old jail. Warmer, but almost as +dismal. Wait till she comes back? Yes, certainly; but where is she gone, +and how long will she be gone? No matter! Rigaud Lagnier Blandois, my +amiable subject, you will get your money. You will enrich yourself. You +have lived a gentleman; you will die a gentleman. You triumph, my little +boy; but it is your character to triumph. Whoof!' + +In the hour of his triumph, his moustache went up and his nose came +down, as he ogled a great beam over his head with particular +satisfaction. + + + + +CHAPTER 31. Closed + + +The sun had set, and the streets were dim in the dusty twilight, when +the figure so long unused to them hurried on its way. In the immediate +neighbourhood of the old house it attracted little attention, for there +were only a few straggling people to notice it; but, ascending from the +river by the crooked ways that led to London Bridge, and passing into +the great main road, it became surrounded by astonishment. + +Resolute and wild of look, rapid of foot and yet weak and uncertain, +conspicuously dressed in its black garments and with its hurried +head-covering, gaunt and of an unearthly paleness, it pressed forward, +taking no more heed of the throng than a sleep-walker. More remarkable +by being so removed from the crowd it was among than if it had been +lifted on a pedestal to be seen, the figure attracted all eyes. +Saunterers pricked up their attention to observe it; busy people, +crossing it, slackened their pace and turned their heads; companions +pausing and standing aside, whispered one another to look at this +spectral woman who was coming by; and the sweep of the figure as it +passed seemed to create a vortex, drawing the most idle and most curious +after it. + +Made giddy by the turbulent irruption of this multitude of staring faces +into her cell of years, by the confusing sensation of being in the air, +and the yet more confusing sensation of being afoot, by the unexpected +changes in half-remembered objects, and the want of likeness between the +controllable pictures her imagination had often drawn of the life from +which she was secluded and the overwhelming rush of the reality, she +held her way as if she were environed by distracting thoughts, rather +than by external humanity and observation. But, having crossed the +bridge and gone some distance straight onward, she remembered that she +must ask for a direction; and it was only then, when she stopped and +turned to look about her for a promising place of inquiry, that she +found herself surrounded by an eager glare of faces. + +'Why are you encircling me?' she asked, trembling. + +None of those who were nearest answered; but from the outer ring there +arose a shrill cry of ''Cause you're mad!' + +'I am sure as sane as any one here. I want to find the Marshalsea +prison.' + +The shrill outer circle again retorted, 'Then that 'ud show you was mad +if nothing else did, 'cause it's right opposite!' + +A short, mild, quiet-looking young man made his way through to her, as +a whooping ensued on this reply, and said: 'Was it the Marshalsea you +wanted? I'm going on duty there. Come across with me.' + +She laid her hand upon his arm, and he took her over the way; the crowd, +rather injured by the near prospect of losing her, pressing before and +behind and on either side, and recommending an adjournment to Bedlam. +After a momentary whirl in the outer court-yard, the prison-door opened, +and shut upon them. In the Lodge, which seemed by contrast with the +outer noise a place of refuge and peace, a yellow lamp was already +striving with the prison shadows. + +'Why, John!' said the turnkey who admitted them. 'What is it?' + +'Nothing, father; only this lady not knowing her way, and being badgered +by the boys. Who did you want, ma'am?' + +'Miss Dorrit. Is she here?' + +The young man became more interested. 'Yes, she is here. What might your +name be?' + +'Mrs Clennam.' + +'Mr Clennam's mother?' asked the young man. + +She pressed her lips together, and hesitated. 'Yes. She had better be +told it is his mother.' + +'You see,' said the young man,'the Marshal's family living in the +country at present, the Marshal has given Miss Dorrit one of the rooms +in his house to use when she likes. Don't you think you had better come +up there, and let me bring Miss Dorrit?' + +She signified her assent, and he unlocked a door and conducted her up +a side staircase into a dwelling-house above. He showed her into a +darkening room, and left her. The room looked down into the darkening +prison-yard, with its inmates strolling here and there, leaning out +of windows communing as much apart as they could with friends who were +going away, and generally wearing out their imprisonment as they best +might that summer evening. The air was heavy and hot; the closeness +of the place, oppressive; and from without there arose a rush of +free sounds, like the jarring memory of such things in a headache and +heartache. She stood at the window, bewildered, looking down into this +prison as it were out of her own different prison, when a soft word or +two of surprise made her start, and Little Dorrit stood before her. + +'Is it possible, Mrs Clennam, that you are so happily recovered as--' + +Little Dorrit stopped, for there was neither happiness nor health in the +face that turned to her. + +'This is not recovery; it is not strength; I don't know what it is.' +With an agitated wave of her hand, she put all that aside. 'You have a +packet left with you which you were to give to Arthur, if it was not +reclaimed before this place closed to-night.' + +'Yes.' + +'I reclaim it.' + +Little Dorrit took it from her bosom, and gave it into her hand, which +remained stretched out after receiving it. + +'Have you any idea of its contents?' + +Frightened by her being there with that new power Of Movement in her, +which, as she said herself, was not strength, and which was unreal +to look upon, as though a picture or statue had been animated, Little +Dorrit answered 'No.' + +'Read them.' + +Little Dorrit took the packet from the still outstretched hand, and +broke the seal. Mrs Clennam then gave her the inner packet that was +addressed to herself, and held the other. The shadow of the wall and of +the prison buildings, which made the room sombre at noon, made it too +dark to read there, with the dusk deepening apace, save in the window. +In the window, where a little of the bright summer evening sky +could shine upon her, Little Dorrit stood, and read. After a broken +exclamation or so of wonder and of terror, she read in silence. When +she had finished, she looked round, and her old mistress bowed herself +before her. + +'You know, now, what I have done.' + +'I think so. I am afraid so; though my mind is so hurried, and so sorry, +and has so much to pity that it has not been able to follow all I have +read,' said Little Dorrit tremulously. + +'I will restore to you what I have withheld from you. Forgive me. Can +you forgive me?' + +'I can, and Heaven knows I do! Do not kiss my dress and kneel to me; you +are too old to kneel to me; I forgive you freely without that.' + +'I have more yet to ask.' + +'Not in that posture,' said Little Dorrit. 'It is unnatural to see your +grey hair lower than mine. Pray rise; let me help you.' With that she +raised her up, and stood rather shrinking from her, but looking at her +earnestly. + +'The great petition that I make to you (there is another which grows +out of it), the great supplication that I address to your merciful and +gentle heart, is, that you will not disclose this to Arthur until I am +dead. If you think, when you have had time for consideration, that it +can do him any good to know it while I am yet alive, then tell him. But +you will not think that; and in such case, will you promise me to spare +me until I am dead?' + +'I am so sorry, and what I have read has so confused my thoughts,' +returned Little Dorrit, 'that I can scarcely give you a steady answer. +If I should be quite sure that to be acquainted with it will do Mr +Clennam no good--' + +'I know you are attached to him, and will make him the first +consideration. It is right that he should be the first consideration. I +ask that. But, having regarded him, and still finding that you may spare +me for the little time I shall remain on earth, will you do it?' + +'I will.' + +'GOD bless you!' + +She stood in the shadow so that she was only a veiled form to Little +Dorrit in the light; but the sound of her voice, in saying those three +grateful words, was at once fervent and broken--broken by emotion as +unfamiliar to her frozen eyes as action to her frozen limbs. + +'You will wonder, perhaps,' she said in a stronger tone, 'that I can +better bear to be known to you whom I have wronged, than to the son +of my enemy who wronged me.--For she did wrong me! She not only sinned +grievously against the Lord, but she wronged me. What Arthur's father +was to me, she made him. From our marriage day I was his dread, and that +she made me. I was the scourge of both, and that is referable to her. +You love Arthur (I can see the blush upon your face; may it be the dawn +of happier days to both of you!), and you will have thought already that +he is as merciful and kind as you, and why do I not trust myself to him +as soon as to you. Have you not thought so?' + +'No thought,' said Little Dorrit, 'can be quite a stranger to my heart, +that springs out of the knowledge that Mr Clennam is always to be relied +upon for being kind and generous and good.' + +'I do not doubt it. Yet Arthur is, of the whole world, the one person +from whom I would conceal this, while I am in it. I kept over him as +a child, in the days of his first remembrance, my restraining and +correcting hand. I was stern with him, knowing that the transgressions +of the parents are visited on their offspring, and that there was an +angry mark upon him at his birth. I have sat with him and his father, +seeing the weakness of his father yearning to unbend to him; and forcing +it back, that the child might work out his release in bondage and +hardship. I have seen him, with his mother's face, looking up at me in +awe from his little books, and trying to soften me with his mother's +ways that hardened me.' + +The shrinking of her auditress stopped her for a moment in her flow of +words, delivered in a retrospective gloomy voice. + +'For his good. Not for the satisfaction of my injury. What was I, and +what was the worth of that, before the curse of Heaven! I have seen that +child grow up; not to be pious in a chosen way (his mother's influence +lay too heavy on him for that), but still to be just and upright, and +to be submissive to me. He never loved me, as I once half-hoped he +might--so frail we are, and so do the corrupt affections of the flesh +war with our trusts and tasks; but he always respected me and ordered +himself dutifully to me. He does to this hour. With an empty place in +his heart that he has never known the meaning of, he has turned +away from me and gone his separate road; but even that he has done +considerately and with deference. These have been his relations towards +me. Yours have been of a much slighter kind, spread over a much shorter +time. When you have sat at your needle in my room, you have been in fear +of me, but you have supposed me to have been doing you a kindness; you +are better informed now, and know me to have done you an injury. Your +misconstruction and misunderstanding of the cause in which, and the +motives with which, I have worked out this work, is lighter to endure +than his would be. I would not, for any worldly recompense I can +imagine, have him in a moment, however blindly, throw me down from the +station I have held before him all his life, and change me altogether +into something he would cast out of his respect, and think detected and +exposed. Let him do it, if it must be done, when I am not here to see +it. Let me never feel, while I am still alive, that I die before his +face, and utterly perish away from him, like one consumed by lightning +and swallowed by an earthquake.' + +Her pride was very strong in her, the pain of it and of her old passions +was very sharp with her, when she thus expressed herself. Not less so, +when she added: + +'Even now, I see _you_ shrink from me, as if I had been cruel.' + +Little Dorrit could not gainsay it. She tried not to show it, but she +recoiled with dread from the state of mind that had burnt so fiercely +and lasted so long. It presented itself to her, with no sophistry upon +it, in its own plain nature. + +'I have done,' said Mrs Clennam,'what it was given to me to do. I have +set myself against evil; not against good. I have been an instrument +of severity against sin. Have not mere sinners like myself been +commissioned to lay it low in all time?' + +'In all time?' repeated Little Dorrit. + +'Even if my own wrong had prevailed with me, and my own vengeance had +moved me, could I have found no justification? None in the old days +when the innocent perished with the guilty, a thousand to one? When the +wrath of the hater of the unrighteous was not slaked even in blood, and +yet found favour?' + +'O, Mrs Clennam, Mrs Clennam,' said Little Dorrit, 'angry feelings and +unforgiving deeds are no comfort and no guide to you and me. My life +has been passed in this poor prison, and my teaching has been very +defective; but let me implore you to remember later and better days. +Be guided only by the healer of the sick, the raiser of the dead, the +friend of all who were afflicted and forlorn, the patient Master who +shed tears of compassion for our infirmities. We cannot but be right if +we put all the rest away, and do everything in remembrance of Him. There +is no vengeance and no infliction of suffering in His life, I am sure. +There can be no confusion in following Him, and seeking for no other +footsteps, I am certain.' + +In the softened light of the window, looking from the scene of her early +trials to the shining sky, she was not in stronger opposition to the +black figure in the shade than the life and doctrine on which she rested +were to that figure's history. It bent its head low again, and said not +a word. It remained thus, until the first warning bell began to ring. + +'Hark!' cried Mrs Clennam starting, 'I said I had another petition. +It is one that does not admit of delay. The man who brought you this +packet and possesses these proofs, is now waiting at my house to be +bought off. I can keep this from Arthur, only by buying him off. He +asks a large sum; more than I can get together to pay him without having +time. He refuses to make any abatement, because his threat is, that if +he fails with me, he will come to you. Will you return with me and show +him that you already know it? Will you return with me and try to prevail +with him? Will you come and help me with him? Do not refuse what I ask +in Arthur's name, though I dare not ask it for Arthur's sake!' + +Little Dorrit yielded willingly. She glided away into the prison for a +few moments, returned, and said she was ready to go. They went out +by another staircase, avoiding the lodge; and coming into the front +court-yard, now all quiet and deserted, gained the street. + +It was one of those summer evenings when there is no greater darkness +than a long twilight. The vista of street and bridge was plain to see, +and the sky was serene and beautiful. People stood and sat at their +doors, playing with children and enjoying the evening; numbers were +walking for air; the worry of the day had almost worried itself out, and +few but themselves were hurried. As they crossed the bridge, the clear +steeples of the many churches looked as if they had advanced out of the +murk that usually enshrouded them, and come much nearer. The smoke that +rose into the sky had lost its dingy hue and taken a brightness upon it. +The beauties of the sunset had not faded from the long light films of +cloud that lay at peace in the horizon. From a radiant centre, over +the whole length and breadth of the tranquil firmament, great shoots of +light streamed among the early stars, like signs of the blessed later +covenant of peace and hope that changed the crown of thorns into a +glory. + +Less remarkable, now that she was not alone and it was darker, Mrs +Clennam hurried on at Little Dorrit's side, unmolested. They left the +great thoroughfare at the turning by which she had entered it, and wound +their way down among the silent, empty, cross-streets. Their feet were +at the gateway, when there was a sudden noise like thunder. + +'What was that! Let us make haste in,' cried Mrs Clennam. + +They were in the gateway. Little Dorrit, with a piercing cry, held her +back. + +In one swift instant the old house was before them, with the man lying +smoking in the window; another thundering sound, and it heaved, surged +outward, opened asunder in fifty places, collapsed, and fell. Deafened +by the noise, stifled, choked, and blinded by the dust, they hid their +faces and stood rooted to the spot. The dust storm, driving between them +and the placid sky, parted for a moment and showed them the stars. As +they looked up, wildly crying for help, the great pile of chimneys, +which was then alone left standing like a tower in a whirlwind, rocked, +broke, and hailed itself down upon the heap of ruin, as if every +tumbling fragment were intent on burying the crushed wretch deeper. + +So blackened by the flying particles of rubbish as to be unrecognisable, +they ran back from the gateway into the street, crying and shrieking. +There, Mrs Clennam dropped upon the stones; and she never from that hour +moved so much as a finger again, or had the power to speak one word. +For upwards of three years she reclined in a wheeled chair, looking +attentively at those about her and appearing to understand what they +said; but the rigid silence she had so long held was evermore enforced +upon her, and except that she could move her eyes and faintly express a +negative and affirmative with her head, she lived and died a statue. + +Affery had been looking for them at the prison, and had caught sight +of them at a distance on the bridge. She came up to receive her old +mistress in her arms, to help to carry her into a neighbouring house, +and to be faithful to her. The mystery of the noises was out now; +Affery, like greater people, had always been right in her facts, and +always wrong in the theories she deduced from them. + +When the storm of dust had cleared away and the summer night was calm +again, numbers of people choked up every avenue of access, and parties +of diggers were formed to relieve one another in digging among the +ruins. There had been a hundred people in the house at the time of its +fall, there had been fifty, there had been fifteen, there had been +two. Rumour finally settled the number at two; the foreigner and Mr +Flintwinch. + +The diggers dug all through the short night by flaring pipes of gas, and +on a level with the early sun, and deeper and deeper below it as it rose +into its zenith, and aslant of it as it declined, and on a level with it +again as it departed. Sturdy digging, and shovelling, and carrying away, +in carts, barrows, and baskets, went on without intermission, by night +and by day; but it was night for the second time when they found the +dirty heap of rubbish that had been the foreigner before his head had +been shivered to atoms, like so much glass, by the great beam that lay +upon him, crushing him. + +Still, they had not come upon Flintwinch yet; so the sturdy digging and +shovelling and carrying away went on without intermission by night and +by day. It got about that the old house had had famous cellarage (which +indeed was true), and that Flintwinch had been in a cellar at the +moment, or had had time to escape into one, and that he was safe under +its strong arch, and even that he had been heard to cry, in hollow, +subterranean, suffocated notes, 'Here I am!' At the opposite extremity +of the town it was even known that the excavators had been able to open +a communication with him through a pipe, and that he had received both +soup and brandy by that channel, and that he had said with admirable +fortitude that he was All right, my lads, with the exception of his +collar-bone. But the digging and shovelling and carrying away went on +without intermission, until the ruins were all dug out, and the cellars +opened to the light; and still no Flintwinch, living or dead, all right +or all wrong, had been turned up by pick or spade. + +It began then to be perceived that Flintwinch had not been there at the +time of the fall; and it began then to be perceived that he had been +rather busy elsewhere, converting securities into as much money as could +be got for them on the shortest notice, and turning to his own exclusive +account his authority to act for the Firm. Affery, remembering that the +clever one had said he would explain himself further in four-and-twenty +hours' time, determined for her part that his taking himself off within +that period with all he could get, was the final satisfactory sum and +substance of his promised explanation; but she held her peace, devoutly +thankful to be quit of him. As it seemed reasonable to conclude that a +man who had never been buried could not be unburied, the diggers gave +him up when their task was done, and did not dig down for him into the +depths of the earth. + +This was taken in ill part by a great many people, who persisted +in believing that Flintwinch was lying somewhere among the London +geological formation. Nor was their belief much shaken by repeated +intelligence which came over in course of time, that an old man who wore +the tie of his neckcloth under one ear, and who was very well known to +be an Englishman, consorted with the Dutchmen on the quaint banks of the +canals of the Hague and in the drinking-shops of Amsterdam, under the +style and designation of Mynheer von Flyntevynge. + + + + +CHAPTER 32. Going + + +Arthur continuing to lie very ill in the Marshalsea, and Mr Rugg +descrying no break in the legal sky affording a hope of his enlargement, +Mr Pancks suffered desperately from self-reproaches. If it had not been +for those infallible figures which proved that Arthur, instead of pining +in imprisonment, ought to be promenading in a carriage and pair, and +that Mr Pancks, instead of being restricted to his clerkly wages, ought +to have from three to five thousand pounds of his own at his immediate +disposal, that unhappy arithmetician would probably have taken to his +bed, and there have made one of the many obscure persons who turned +their faces to the wall and died, as a last sacrifice to the late Mr +Merdle's greatness. Solely supported by his unimpugnable calculations, +Mr Pancks led an unhappy and restless life; constantly carrying his +figures about with him in his hat, and not only going over them himself +on every possible occasion, but entreating every human being he could +lay hold of to go over them with him, and observe what a clear case it +was. Down in Bleeding Heart Yard there was scarcely an inhabitant of +note to whom Mr Pancks had not imparted his demonstration, and, as +figures are catching, a kind of cyphering measles broke out in that +locality, under the influence of which the whole Yard was light-headed. + +The more restless Mr Pancks grew in his mind, the more impatient he +became of the Patriarch. In their later conferences his snorting assumed +an irritable sound which boded the Patriarch no good; likewise, Mr +Pancks had on several occasions looked harder at the Patriarchal bumps +than was quite reconcilable with the fact of his not being a painter, or +a peruke-maker in search of the living model. + +However, he steamed in and out of his little back Dock according as he +was wanted or not wanted in the Patriarchal presence, and business had +gone on in its customary course. Bleeding Heart Yard had been harrowed +by Mr Pancks, and cropped by Mr Casby, at the regular seasons; Mr Pancks +had taken all the drudgery and all the dirt of the business as _his_ +share; Mr Casby had taken all the profits, all the ethereal vapour, and +all the moonshine, as his share; and, in the form of words which that +benevolent beamer generally employed on Saturday evenings, when he +twirled his fat thumbs after striking the week's balance, 'everything +had been satisfactory to all parties--all parties--satisfactory, sir, to +all parties.' + +The Dock of the Steam-Tug, Pancks, had a leaden roof, which, frying in +the very hot sunshine, may have heated the vessel. Be that as it +may, one glowing Saturday evening, on being hailed by the lumbering +bottle-green ship, the Tug instantly came working out of the Dock in a +highly heated condition. + +'Mr Pancks,' was the Patriarchal remark, 'you have been remiss, you have +been remiss, sir.' + +'What do you mean by that?' was the short rejoinder. + +The Patriarchal state, always a state of calmness and composure, was +so particularly serene that evening as to be provoking. Everybody else +within the bills of mortality was hot; but the Patriarch was perfectly +cool. Everybody was thirsty, and the Patriarch was drinking. There was +a fragrance of limes or lemons about him; and he made a drink of golden +sherry, which shone in a large tumbler as if he were drinking the +evening sunshine. This was bad, but not the worst. The worst was, that +with his big blue eyes, and his polished head, and his long white hair, +and his bottle-green legs stretched out before him, terminating in his +easy shoes easily crossed at the instep, he had a radiant appearance +of having in his extensive benevolence made the drink for the human +species, while he himself wanted nothing but his own milk of human +kindness. + +Wherefore, Mr Pancks said, 'What do you mean by that?' and put his hair +up with both hands, in a highly portentous manner. + +'I mean, Mr Pancks, that you must be sharper with the people, sharper +with the people, much sharper with the people, sir. You don't squeeze +them. You don't squeeze them. Your receipts are not up to the mark. You +must squeeze them, sir, or our connection will not continue to be as +satisfactory as I could wish it to be to all parties. All parties.' + +'_Don't_ I squeeze 'em?' retorted Mr Pancks. 'What else am I made for?' + +'You are made for nothing else, Mr Pancks. You are made to do your +duty, but you don't do your duty. You are paid to squeeze, and you +must squeeze to pay.' The Patriarch so much surprised himself by this +brilliant turn, after Dr Johnson, which he had not in the least +expected or intended, that he laughed aloud; and repeated with great +satisfaction, as he twirled his thumbs and nodded at his youthful +portrait, 'Paid to squeeze, sir, and must squeeze to pay.' + +'Oh,' said Pancks. 'Anything more?' + +'Yes, sir, yes, sir. Something more. You will please, Mr Pancks, to +squeeze the Yard again, the first thing on Monday morning.' + +'Oh!' said Pancks. 'Ain't that too soon? I squeezed it dry to-day.' + +'Nonsense, sir. Not near the mark, not near the mark.' + +'Oh!' said Pancks, watching him as he benevolently gulped down a good +draught of his mixture. 'Anything more?' + +'Yes, sir, yes, sir, something more. I am not at all pleased, Mr Pancks, +with my daughter; not at all pleased. Besides calling much too often +to inquire for Mrs Clennam, Mrs Clennam, who is not just now in +circumstances that are by any means calculated to--to be satisfactory to +all parties, she goes, Mr Pancks, unless I am much deceived, to inquire +for Mr Clennam in jail. In jail.' + +'He's laid up, you know,' said Pancks. 'Perhaps it's kind.' + +'Pooh, pooh, Mr Pancks. She has nothing to do with that, nothing to do +with that. I can't allow it. Let him pay his debts and come out, come +out; pay his debts, and come out.' + +Although Mr Pancks's hair was standing up like strong wire, he gave it +another double-handed impulse in the perpendicular direction, and smiled +at his proprietor in a most hideous manner. + +'You will please to mention to my daughter, Mr Pancks, that I can't +allow it, can't allow it,' said the Patriarch blandly. + +'Oh!' said Pancks. 'You couldn't mention it yourself?' + +'No, sir, no; you are paid to mention it,' the blundering old booby +could not resist the temptation of trying it again, 'and you must +mention it to pay, mention it to pay.' + +'Oh!' said Pancks. 'Anything more?' + +'Yes, sir. It appears to me, Mr Pancks, that you yourself are too often +and too much in that direction, that direction. I recommend you, Mr +Pancks, to dismiss from your attention both your own losses and other +people's losses, and to mind your business, mind your business.' + +Mr Pancks acknowledged this recommendation with such an extraordinarily +abrupt, short, and loud utterance of the monosyllable 'Oh!' that even +the unwieldy Patriarch moved his blue eyes in something of a hurry, to +look at him. Mr Pancks, with a sniff of corresponding intensity, then +added, 'Anything more?' + +'Not at present, sir, not at present. I am going,' said the Patriarch, +finishing his mixture, and rising with an amiable air, 'to take a little +stroll, a little stroll. Perhaps I shall find you here when I come back. +If not, sir, duty, duty; squeeze, squeeze, squeeze, on Monday; squeeze +on Monday!' + +Mr Pancks, after another stiffening of his hair, looked on at the +Patriarchal assumption of the broad-brimmed hat, with a momentary +appearance of indecision contending with a sense of injury. He was also +hotter than at first, and breathed harder. But he suffered Mr Casby to +go out, without offering any further remark, and then took a peep at +him over the little green window-blinds. 'I thought so,' he observed. 'I +knew where you were bound to. Good!' He then steamed back to his Dock, +put it carefully in order, took down his hat, looked round the Dock, +said 'Good-bye!' and puffed away on his own account. He steered straight +for Mrs Plornish's end of Bleeding Heart Yard, and arrived there, at the +top of the steps, hotter than ever. + +At the top of the steps, resisting Mrs Plornish's invitations to come +and sit along with father in Happy Cottage--which to his relief were not +so numerous as they would have been on any other night than Saturday, +when the connection who so gallantly supported the business with +everything but money gave their orders freely--at the top of the steps +Mr Pancks remained until he beheld the Patriarch, who always entered +the Yard at the other end, slowly advancing, beaming, and surrounded +by suitors. Then Mr Pancks descended and bore down upon him, with his +utmost pressure of steam on. + +The Patriarch, approaching with his usual benignity, was surprised to +see Mr Pancks, but supposed him to have been stimulated to an immediate +squeeze instead of postponing that operation until Monday. The +population of the Yard were astonished at the meeting, for the two +powers had never been seen there together, within the memory of the +oldest Bleeding Heart. But they were overcome by unutterable amazement +when Mr Pancks, going close up to the most venerable of men and halting +in front of the bottle-green waistcoat, made a trigger of his right +thumb and forefinger, applied the same to the brim of the broad-brimmed +hat, and, with singular smartness and precision, shot it off the +polished head as if it had been a large marble. + +Having taken this little liberty with the Patriarchal person, Mr Pancks +further astounded and attracted the Bleeding Hearts by saying in an +audible voice, 'Now, you sugary swindler, I mean to have it out with +you!' + +Mr Pancks and the Patriarch were instantly the centre of a press, all +eyes and ears; windows were thrown open, and door-steps were thronged. + +'What do you pretend to be?' said Mr Pancks. 'What's your moral game? +What do you go in for? Benevolence, an't it? You benevolent!' Here Mr +Pancks, apparently without the intention of hitting him, but merely to +relieve his mind and expend his superfluous power in wholesome exercise, +aimed a blow at the bumpy head, which the bumpy head ducked to +avoid. This singular performance was repeated, to the ever-increasing +admiration of the spectators, at the end of every succeeding article of +Mr Pancks's oration. + +'I have discharged myself from your service,' said Pancks, 'that I may +tell you what you are. You're one of a lot of impostors that are the +worst lot of all the lots to be met with. Speaking as a sufferer by +both, I don't know that I wouldn't as soon have the Merdle lot as your +lot. You're a driver in disguise, a screwer by deputy, a wringer, and +squeezer, and shaver by substitute. You're a philanthropic sneak. You're +a shabby deceiver!' + +(The repetition of the performance at this point was received with a +burst of laughter.) + +'Ask these good people who's the hard man here. They'll tell you Pancks, +I believe.' + +This was confirmed with cries of 'Certainly,' and 'Hear!' + +'But I tell you, good people--Casby! This mound of meekness, this lump +of love, this bottle-green smiler, this is your driver!' said Pancks. +'If you want to see the man who would flay you alive--here he is! Don't +look for him in me, at thirty shillings a week, but look for him in +Casby, at I don't know how much a year!' + +'Good!' cried several voices. 'Hear Mr Pancks!' + +'Hear Mr Pancks?' cried that gentleman (after repeating the popular +performance). 'Yes, I should think so! It's almost time to hear Mr +Pancks. Mr Pancks has come down into the Yard to-night on purpose that +you should hear him. Pancks is only the Works; but here's the Winder!' + +The audience would have gone over to Mr Pancks, as one man, woman, and +child, but for the long, grey, silken locks, and the broad-brimmed hat. + +'Here's the Stop,' said Pancks, 'that sets the tune to be ground. And +there is but one tune, and its name is Grind, Grind, Grind! Here's the +Proprietor, and here's his Grubber. Why, good people, when he comes +smoothly spinning through the Yard to-night, like a slow-going +benevolent Humming-Top, and when you come about him with your complaints +of the Grubber, you don't know what a cheat the Proprietor is! What do +you think of his showing himself to-night, that I may have all the blame +on Monday? What do you think of his having had me over the coals this +very evening, because I don't squeeze you enough? What do you think of +my being, at the present moment, under special orders to squeeze you dry +on Monday?' + +The reply was given in a murmur of 'Shame!' and 'Shabby!' + +'Shabby?' snorted Pancks. 'Yes, I should think so! The lot that your +Casby belongs to, is the shabbiest of all the lots. Setting their +Grubbers on, at a wretched pittance, to do what they're ashamed and +afraid to do and pretend not to do, but what they will have done, or +give a man no rest! Imposing on you to give their Grubbers nothing but +blame, and to give them nothing but credit! Why, the worst-looking +cheat in all this town who gets the value of eighteenpence under false +pretences, an't half such a cheat as this sign-post of The Casby's Head +here!' + +Cries of 'That's true!' and 'No more he an't!' + +'And see what you get of these fellows, besides,' said Pancks. 'See what +more you get of these precious Humming-Tops, revolving among you with +such smoothness that you've no idea of the pattern painted on 'em, or +the little window in 'em. I wish to call your attention to myself for a +moment. I an't an agreeable style of chap, I know that very well.' + +The auditory were divided on this point; its more uncompromising members +crying, 'No, you are not,' and its politer materials, 'Yes, you are.' + +'I am, in general,' said Mr Pancks, 'a dry, uncomfortable, dreary +Plodder and Grubber. That's your humble servant. There's his full-length +portrait, painted by himself and presented to you, warranted a likeness! +But what's a man to be, with such a man as this for his Proprietor? +What can be expected of him? Did anybody ever find boiled mutton and +caper-sauce growing in a cocoa-nut?' + +None of the Bleeding Hearts ever had, it was clear from the alacrity of +their response. + +'Well,' said Mr Pancks, 'and neither will you find in Grubbers like +myself, under Proprietors like this, pleasant qualities. I've been a +Grubber from a boy. What has my life been? Fag and grind, fag and grind, +turn the wheel, turn the wheel! I haven't been agreeable to myself, +and I haven't been likely to be agreeable to anybody else. If I was a +shilling a week less useful in ten years' time, this impostor would give +me a shilling a week less; if as useful a man could be got at sixpence +cheaper, he would be taken in my place at sixpence cheaper. Bargain and +sale, bless you! Fixed principles! It's a mighty fine sign-post, is The +Casby's Head,' said Mr Pancks, surveying it with anything rather than +admiration; 'but the real name of the House is the Sham's Arms. Its +motto is, Keep the Grubber always at it. Is any gentleman present,' said +Mr Pancks, breaking off and looking round, 'acquainted with the English +Grammar?' + +Bleeding Heart Yard was shy of claiming that acquaintance. + +'It's no matter,' said Mr Pancks, 'I merely wish to remark that the task +this Proprietor has set me, has been never to leave off conjugating the +Imperative Mood Present Tense of the verb To keep always at it. Keep +thou always at it. Let him keep always at it. Keep we or do we keep +always at it. Keep ye or do ye or you keep always at it. Let them keep +always at it. Here is your benevolent Patriarch of a Casby, and there is +his golden rule. He is uncommonly improving to look at, and I am not +at all so. He is as sweet as honey, and I am as dull as ditch-water. He +provides the pitch, and I handle it, and it sticks to me. Now,' said +Mr Pancks, closing upon his late Proprietor again, from whom he had +withdrawn a little for the better display of him to the Yard; 'as I am +not accustomed to speak in public, and as I have made a rather lengthy +speech, all circumstances considered, I shall bring my observations to a +close by requesting you to get out of this.' + +The Last of the Patriarchs had been so seized by assault, and required +so much room to catch an idea in, an so much more room to turn it in, +that he had not a word to offer in reply. He appeared to be meditating +some Patriarchal way out of his delicate position, when Mr Pancks, once +more suddenly applying the trigger to his hat, shot it off again with +his former dexterity. On the preceding occasion, one or two of the +Bleeding Heart Yarders had obsequiously picked it up and handed it to +its owner; but Mr Pancks had now so far impressed his audience, that the +Patriarch had to turn and stoop for it himself. + +Quick as lightning, Mr Pancks, who, for some moments, had had his right +hand in his coat pocket, whipped out a pair of shears, swooped upon the +Patriarch behind, and snipped off short the sacred locks that flowed +upon his shoulders. In a paroxysm of animosity and rapidity, Mr Pancks +then caught the broad-brimmed hat out of the astounded Patriarch's hand, +cut it down into a mere stewpan, and fixed it on the Patriarch's head. + +Before the frightful results of this desperate action, Mr Pancks himself +recoiled in consternation. A bare-polled, goggle-eyed, big-headed +lumbering personage stood staring at him, not in the least impressive, +not in the least venerable, who seemed to have started out of the +earth to ask what was become of Casby. After staring at this phantom in +return, in silent awe, Mr Pancks threw down his shears, and fled for a +place of hiding, where he might lie sheltered from the consequences of +his crime. Mr Pancks deemed it prudent to use all possible despatch in +making off, though he was pursued by nothing but the sound of laughter +in Bleeding Heart Yard, rippling through the air and making it ring +again. + + + + +CHAPTER 33. Going! + + +The changes of a fevered room are slow and fluctuating; but the changes +of the fevered world are rapid and irrevocable. + +It was Little Dorrit's lot to wait upon both kinds of change. The +Marshalsea walls, during a portion of every day, again embraced her in +their shadows as their child, while she thought for Clennam, worked for +him, watched him, and only left him, still to devote her utmost love and +care to him. Her part in the life outside the gate urged its pressing +claims upon her too, and her patience untiringly responded to them. +Here was Fanny, proud, fitful, whimsical, further advanced in that +disqualified state for going into society which had so much fretted +her on the evening of the tortoise-shell knife, resolved always to want +comfort, resolved not to be comforted, resolved to be deeply wronged, +and resolved that nobody should have the audacity to think her so. Here +was her brother, a weak, proud, tipsy, young old man, shaking from +head to foot, talking as indistinctly as if some of the money he plumed +himself upon had got into his mouth and couldn't be got out, unable to +walk alone in any act of his life, and patronising the sister whom he +selfishly loved (he always had that negative merit, ill-starred and +ill-launched Tip!) because he suffered her to lead him. Here was Mrs +Merdle in gauzy mourning--the original cap whereof had possibly been +rent to pieces in a fit of grief, but had certainly yielded to a highly +becoming article from the Parisian market--warring with Fanny foot to +foot, and breasting her with her desolate bosom every hour in the day. +Here was poor Mr Sparkler, not knowing how to keep the peace between +them, but humbly inclining to the opinion that they could do no better +than agree that they were both remarkably fine women, and that there was +no nonsense about either of them--for which gentle recommendation they +united in falling upon him frightfully. Then, too, here was Mrs General, +got home from foreign parts, sending a Prune and a Prism by post every +other day, demanding a new Testimonial by way of recommendation to some +vacant appointment or other. Of which remarkable gentlewoman it may be +finally observed, that there surely never was a gentlewoman of whose +transcendent fitness for any vacant appointment on the face of this +earth, so many people were (as the warmth of her Testimonials evinced) +so perfectly satisfied--or who was so very unfortunate in having a +large circle of ardent and distinguished admirers, who never themselves +happened to want her in any capacity. + +On the first crash of the eminent Mr Merdle's decease, many important +persons had been unable to determine whether they should cut Mrs Merdle, +or comfort her. As it seemed, however, essential to the strength of +their own case that they should admit her to have been cruelly deceived, +they graciously made the admission, and continued to know her. It +followed that Mrs Merdle, as a woman of fashion and good breeding who +had been sacrificed to the wiles of a vulgar barbarian (for Mr Merdle +was found out from the crown of his head to the sole of his foot, the +moment he was found out in his pocket), must be actively championed by +her order for her order's sake. She returned this fealty by causing it +to be understood that she was even more incensed against the felonious +shade of the deceased than anybody else was; thus, on the whole, she +came out of her furnace like a wise woman, and did exceedingly well. + +Mr Sparkler's lordship was fortunately one of those shelves on which a +gentleman is considered to be put away for life, unless there should be +reasons for hoisting him up with the Barnacle crane to a more lucrative +height. That patriotic servant accordingly stuck to his colours (the +Standard of four Quarterings), and was a perfect Nelson in respect +of nailing them to the mast. On the profits of his intrepidity, Mrs +Sparkler and Mrs Merdle, inhabiting different floors of the genteel +little temple of inconvenience to which the smell of the day before +yesterday's soup and coach-horses was as constant as Death to man, +arrayed themselves to fight it out in the lists of Society, sworn +rivals. And Little Dorrit, seeing all these things as they developed +themselves, could not but wonder, anxiously, into what back corner of +the genteel establishment Fanny's children would be poked by-and-by, and +who would take care of those unborn little victims. + +Arthur being far too ill to be spoken with on subjects of emotion or +anxiety, and his recovery greatly depending on the repose into which +his weakness could be hushed, Little Dorrit's sole reliance during this +heavy period was on Mr Meagles. He was still abroad; but she had written +to him through his daughter, immediately after first seeing Arthur in +the Marshalsea and since, confiding her uneasiness to him on the points +on which she was most anxious, but especially on one. To that one, +the continued absence of Mr Meagles abroad, instead of his comforting +presence in the Marshalsea, was referable. + +Without disclosing the precise nature of the documents that had fallen +into Rigaud's hands, Little Dorrit had confided the general outline of +that story to Mr Meagles, to whom she had also recounted his fate. The +old cautious habits of the scales and scoop at once showed Mr Meagles +the importance of recovering the original papers; wherefore he wrote +back to Little Dorrit, strongly confirming her in the solicitude she +expressed on that head, and adding that he would not come over to +England 'without making some attempt to trace them out.' + +By this time Mr Henry Gowan had made up his mind that it would be +agreeable to him not to know the Meagleses. He was so considerate as to +lay no injunctions on his wife in that particular; but he mentioned +to Mr Meagles that personally they did not appear to him to get on +together, and that he thought it would be a good thing if--politely, and +without any scene, or anything of that sort--they agreed that they were +the best fellows in the world, but were best apart. Poor Mr Meagles, who +was already sensible that he did not advance his daughter's happiness by +being constantly slighted in her presence, said 'Good, Henry! You are +my Pet's husband; you have displaced me, in the course of nature; if +you wish it, good!' This arrangement involved the contingent advantage, +which perhaps Henry Gowan had not foreseen, that both Mr and Mrs +Meagles were more liberal than before to their daughter, when their +communication was only with her and her young child: and that his high +spirit found itself better provided with money, without being under the +degrading necessity of knowing whence it came. + +Mr Meagles, at such a period, naturally seized an occupation with great +ardour. He knew from his daughter the various towns which Rigaud had +been haunting, and the various hotels at which he had been living for +some time back. The occupation he set himself was to visit these with +all discretion and speed, and, in the event of finding anywhere that he +had left a bill unpaid, and a box or parcel behind, to pay such bill, +and bring away such box or parcel. + +With no other attendant than Mother, Mr Meagles went upon his +pilgrimage, and encountered a number of adventures. Not the least of his +difficulties was, that he never knew what was said to him, and that he +pursued his inquiries among people who never knew what he said to them. +Still, with an unshaken confidence that the English tongue was somehow +the mother tongue of the whole world, only the people were too stupid +to know it, Mr Meagles harangued innkeepers in the most voluble manner, +entered into loud explanations of the most complicated sort, and utterly +renounced replies in the native language of the respondents, on the +ground that they were 'all bosh.' Sometimes interpreters were called +in; whom Mr Meagles addressed in such idiomatic terms of speech, as +instantly to extinguish and shut up--which made the matter worse. On a +balance of the account, however, it may be doubted whether he lost much; +for, although he found no property, he found so many debts and various +associations of discredit with the proper name, which was the only word +he made intelligible, that he was almost everywhere overwhelmed with +injurious accusations. On no fewer than four occasions the police +were called in to receive denunciations of Mr Meagles as a Knight of +Industry, a good-for-nothing, and a thief, all of which opprobrious +language he bore with the best temper (having no idea what it meant), +and was in the most ignominious manner escorted to steam-boats and +public carriages, to be got rid of, talking all the while, like a +cheerful and fluent Briton as he was, with Mother under his arm. + +But, in his own tongue, and in his own head, Mr Meagles was a clear, +shrewd, persevering man. When he had 'worked round,' as he called it, to +Paris in his pilgrimage, and had wholly failed in it so far, he was not +disheartened. 'The nearer to England I follow him, you see, Mother,' +argued Mr Meagles, 'the nearer I am likely to come to the papers, +whether they turn up or no. Because it is only reasonable to conclude +that he would deposit them somewhere where they would be safe from +people over in England, and where they would yet be accessible to +himself, don't you see?' + +At Paris Mr Meagles found a letter from Little Dorrit, lying waiting for +him; in which she mentioned that she had been able to talk for a minute +or two with Mr Clennam about this man who was no more; and that when she +told Mr Clennam that his friend Mr Meagles, who was on his way to see +him, had an interest in ascertaining something about the man if he +could, he had asked her to tell Mr Meagles that he had been known +to Miss Wade, then living in such a street at Calais. 'Oho!' said Mr +Meagles. + +As soon afterwards as might be in those Diligence days, Mr Meagles +rang the cracked bell at the cracked gate, and it jarred open, and the +peasant-woman stood in the dark doorway, saying, 'Ice-say! Seer! Who?' +In acknowledgment of whose address, Mr Meagles murmured to himself that +there was some sense about these Calais people, who really did know +something of what you and themselves were up to; and returned, 'Miss +Wade, my dear.' He was then shown into the presence of Miss Wade. + +'It's some time since we met,' said Mr Meagles, clearing his throat; 'I +hope you have been pretty well, Miss Wade?' + +Without hoping that he or anybody else had been pretty well, Miss Wade +asked him to what she was indebted for the honour of seeing him again? +Mr Meagles, in the meanwhile, glanced all round the room without +observing anything in the shape of a box. + +'Why, the truth is, Miss Wade,' said Mr Meagles, in a comfortable, +managing, not to say coaxing voice, 'it is possible that you may be able +to throw a light upon a little something that is at present dark. Any +unpleasant bygones between us are bygones, I hope. Can't be helped now. +You recollect my daughter? Time changes so! A mother!' + +In his innocence, Mr Meagles could not have struck a worse key-note. He +paused for any expression of interest, but paused in vain. + +'That is not the subject you wished to enter on?' she said, after a cold +silence. + +'No, no,' returned Mr Meagles. 'No. I thought your good nature might--' + +'I thought you knew,' she interrupted, with a smile, 'that my good +nature is not to be calculated upon?' + +'Don't say so,' said Mr Meagles; 'you do yourself an injustice. However, +to come to the point.' For he was sensible of having gained nothing +by approaching it in a roundabout way. 'I have heard from my friend +Clennam, who, you will be sorry to hear, has been and still is very +ill--' + +He paused again, and again she was silent. + +'--that you had some knowledge of one Blandois, lately killed in London +by a violent accident. Now, don't mistake me! I know it was a slight +knowledge,' said Mr Meagles, dexterously forestalling an angry +interruption which he saw about to break. 'I am fully aware of that. It +was a slight knowledge, I know. But the question is,' Mr Meagles's voice +here became comfortable again, 'did he, on his way to England last time, +leave a box of papers, or a bundle of papers, or some papers or other in +some receptacle or other--any papers--with you: begging you to allow him +to leave them here for a short time, until he wanted them?' + +'The question is?' she repeated. 'Whose question is?' + +'Mine,' said Mr Meagles. 'And not only mine but Clennam's question, and +other people's question. Now, I am sure,' continued Mr Meagles, whose +heart was overflowing with Pet, 'that you can't have any unkind feeling +towards my daughter; it's impossible. Well! It's her question, too; +being one in which a particular friend of hers is nearly interested. +So here I am, frankly to say that is the question, and to ask, Now, did +he?' + +'Upon my word,' she returned, 'I seem to be a mark for everybody who +knew anything of a man I once in my life hired, and paid, and dismissed, +to aim their questions at!' + +'Now, don't,' remonstrated Mr Meagles, 'don't! Don't take offence, +because it's the plainest question in the world, and might be asked +of any one. The documents I refer to were not his own, were wrongfully +obtained, might at some time or other be troublesome to an innocent +person to have in keeping, and are sought by the people to whom they +really belong. He passed through Calais going to London, and there were +reasons why he should not take them with him then, why he should wish +to be able to put his hand upon them readily, and why he should distrust +leaving them with people of his own sort. Did he leave them here? I +declare if I knew how to avoid giving you offence, I would take any +pains to do it. I put the question personally, but there's nothing +personal in it. I might put it to any one; I have put it already to many +people. Did he leave them here? Did he leave anything here?' + +'No.' + +'Then unfortunately, Miss Wade, you know nothing about them?' + +'I know nothing about them. I have now answered your unaccountable +question. He did not leave them here, and I know nothing about them.' + +'There!' said Mr Meagles rising. 'I am sorry for it; that's over; and I +hope there is not much harm done.--Tattycoram well, Miss Wade?' + +'Harriet well? O yes!' + +'I have put my foot in it again,' said Mr Meagles, thus corrected. 'I +can't keep my foot out of it here, it seems. Perhaps, if I had thought +twice about it, I might never have given her the jingling name. But, +when one means to be good-natured and sportive with young people, one +doesn't think twice. Her old friend leaves a kind word for her, Miss +Wade, if you should think proper to deliver it.' + +She said nothing as to that; and Mr Meagles, taking his honest face out +of the dull room, where it shone like a sun, took it to the Hotel where +he had left Mrs Meagles, and where he made the Report: 'Beaten, Mother; +no effects!' He took it next to the London Steam Packet, which sailed in +the night; and next to the Marshalsea. + +The faithful John was on duty when Father and Mother Meagles presented +themselves at the wicket towards nightfall. Miss Dorrit was not there +then, he said; but she had been there in the morning, and invariably +came in the evening. Mr Clennam was slowly mending; and Maggy and Mrs +Plornish and Mr Baptist took care of him by turns. Miss Dorrit was sure +to come back that evening before the bell rang. There was the room the +Marshal had lent her, up-stairs, in which they could wait for her, if +they pleased. Mistrustful that it might be hazardous to Arthur to see +him without preparation, Mr Meagles accepted the offer; and they were +left shut up in the room, looking down through its barred window into +the jail. + +The cramped area of the prison had such an effect on Mrs Meagles that +she began to weep, and such an effect on Mr Meagles that he began to +gasp for air. He was walking up and down the room, panting, and making +himself worse by laboriously fanning himself with her handkerchief, when +he turned towards the opening door. + +'Eh? Good gracious!' said Mr Meagles, 'this is not Miss Dorrit! Why, +Mother, look! Tattycoram!' + +No other. And in Tattycoram's arms was an iron box some two feet square. +Such a box had Affery Flintwinch seen, in the first of her dreams, going +out of the old house in the dead of the night under Double's arm. This, +Tattycoram put on the ground at her old master's feet: this, Tattycoram +fell on her knees by, and beat her hands upon, crying half in exultation +and half in despair, half in laughter and half in tears, 'Pardon, dear +Master; take me back, dear Mistress; here it is!' + +'Tatty!' exclaimed Mr Meagles. + +'What you wanted!' said Tattycoram. 'Here it is! I was put in the next +room not to see you. I heard you ask her about it, I heard her say she +hadn't got it, I was there when he left it, and I took it at bedtime and +brought it away. Here it is!' + +'Why, my girl,' cried Mr Meagles, more breathless than before, 'how did +you come over?' + +'I came in the boat with you. I was sitting wrapped up at the other end. +When you took a coach at the wharf, I took another coach and followed +you here. She never would have given it up after what you had said to +her about its being wanted; she would sooner have sunk it in the sea, or +burnt it. But, here it is!' + +The glow and rapture that the girl was in, with her 'Here it is!' + +'She never wanted it to be left, I must say that for her; but he left +it, and I knew well that after what you said, and after her denying +it, she never would have given it up. But here it is! Dear Master, dear +Mistress, take me back again, and give me back the dear old name! Let +this intercede for me. Here it is!' + +Father and Mother Meagles never deserved their names better than when +they took the headstrong foundling-girl into their protection again. + +'Oh! I have been so wretched,' cried Tattycoram, weeping much more, +'always so unhappy, and so repentant! I was afraid of her from the first +time I saw her. I knew she had got a power over me through understanding +what was bad in me so well. It was a madness in me, and she could raise +it whenever she liked. I used to think, when I got into that state, that +people were all against me because of my first beginning; and the kinder +they were to me, the worse fault I found in them. I made it out that +they triumphed above me, and that they wanted to make me envy them, when +I know--when I even knew then--that they never thought of such a thing. +And my beautiful young mistress not so happy as she ought to have been, +and I gone away from her! Such a brute and a wretch as she must think +me! But you'll say a word to her for me, and ask her to be as forgiving +as you two are? For I am not so bad as I was,' pleaded Tattycoram; 'I am +bad enough, but not so bad as I was, indeed. I have had Miss Wade +before me all this time, as if it was my own self grown ripe--turning +everything the wrong way, and twisting all good into evil. I have had +her before me all this time, finding no pleasure in anything but keeping +me as miserable, suspicious, and tormenting as herself. Not that she had +much to do, to do that,' cried Tattycoram, in a closing great burst of +distress, 'for I was as bad as bad could be. I only mean to say, that, +after what I have gone through, I hope I shall never be quite so bad +again, and that I shall get better by very slow degrees. I'll try very +hard. I won't stop at five-and-twenty, sir, I'll count five-and-twenty +hundred, five-and-twenty thousand!' + +Another opening of the door, and Tattycoram subsided, and Little Dorrit +came in, and Mr Meagles with pride and joy produced the box, and her +gentle face was lighted up with grateful happiness and joy. The secret +was safe now! She could keep her own part of it from him; he should +never know of her loss; in time to come he should know all that was of +import to himself; but he should never know what concerned her only. +That was all passed, all forgiven, all forgotten. + +'Now, my dear Miss Dorrit,' said Mr Meagles; 'I am a man of business--or +at least was--and I am going to take my measures promptly, in that +character. Had I better see Arthur to-night?' + +'I think not to-night. I will go to his room and ascertain how he is. +But I think it will be better not to see him to-night.' + +'I am much of your opinion, my dear,' said Mr Meagles, 'and therefore +I have not been any nearer to him than this dismal room. Then I shall +probably not see him for some little time to come. But I'll explain what +I mean when you come back.' + +She left the room. Mr Meagles, looking through the bars of the window, +saw her pass out of the Lodge below him into the prison-yard. He said +gently, 'Tattycoram, come to me a moment, my good girl.' + +She went up to the window. + +'You see that young lady who was here just now--that little, quiet, +fragile figure passing along there, Tatty? Look. The people stand out +of the way to let her go by. The men--see the poor, shabby fellows--pull +off their hats to her quite politely, and now she glides in at that +doorway. See her, Tattycoram?' + +'Yes, sir.' + +'I have heard tell, Tatty, that she was once regularly called the child +of this place. She was born here, and lived here many years. I can't +breathe here. A doleful place to be born and bred in, Tattycoram?' + +'Yes indeed, sir!' + +'If she had constantly thought of herself, and settled with herself that +everybody visited this place upon her, turned it against her, and cast +it at her, she would have led an irritable and probably an useless +existence. Yet I have heard tell, Tattycoram, that her young life has +been one of active resignation, goodness, and noble service. Shall I +tell you what I consider those eyes of hers, that were here just now, to +have always looked at, to get that expression?' + +'Yes, if you please, sir.' + +'Duty, Tattycoram. Begin it early, and do it well; and there is no +antecedent to it, in any origin or station, that will tell against us +with the Almighty, or with ourselves.' + +They remained at the window, Mother joining them and pitying the +prisoners, until she was seen coming back. She was soon in the room, and +recommended that Arthur, whom she had left calm and composed, should not +be visited that night. + +'Good!' said Mr Meagles, cheerily. 'I have not a doubt that's best. I +shall trust my remembrances then, my sweet nurse, in your hands, and I +well know they couldn't be in better. I am off again to-morrow morning.' + +Little Dorrit, surprised, asked him where? + +'My dear,' said Mr Meagles, 'I can't live without breathing. This place +has taken my breath away, and I shall never get it back again until +Arthur is out of this place.' + +'How is that a reason for going off again to-morrow morning?' + +'You shall understand,' said Mr Meagles. 'To-night we three will put up +at a City Hotel. To-morrow morning, Mother and Tattycoram will go down +to Twickenham, where Mrs Tickit, sitting attended by Dr Buchan in the +parlour-window, will think them a couple of ghosts; and I shall go +abroad again for Doyce. We must have Dan here. Now, I tell you, my love, +it's of no use writing and planning and conditionally speculating upon +this and that and the other, at uncertain intervals and distances; we +must have Doyce here. I devote myself at daybreak to-morrow morning, to +bringing Doyce here. It's nothing to me to go and find him. I'm an old +traveller, and all foreign languages and customs are alike to me--I +never understand anything about any of 'em. Therefore I can't be put +to any inconvenience. Go at once I must, it stands to reason; because +I can't live without breathing freely; and I can't breathe freely until +Arthur is out of this Marshalsea. I am stifled at the present moment, +and have scarcely breath enough to say this much, and to carry this +precious box down-stairs for you.' + +They got into the street as the bell began to ring, Mr Meagles carrying +the box. Little Dorrit had no conveyance there: which rather surprised +him. He called a coach for her and she got into it, and he placed the +box beside her when she was seated. In her joy and gratitude she kissed +his hand. + +'I don't like that, my dear,' said Mr Meagles. 'It goes against my +feeling of what's right, that _you_ should do homage to _me_--at the +Marshalsea Gate.' + +She bent forward, and kissed his cheek. + +'You remind me of the days,' said Mr Meagles, suddenly drooping--'but +she's very fond of him, and hides his faults, and thinks that no +one sees them--and he certainly is well connected and of a very good +family!' + +It was the only comfort he had in the loss of his daughter, and if he +made the most of it, who could blame him? + + + + +CHAPTER 34. Gone + + +On a healthy autumn day, the Marshalsea prisoner, weak but otherwise +restored, sat listening to a voice that read to him. On a healthy autumn +day; when the golden fields had been reaped and ploughed again, when the +summer fruits had ripened and waned, when the green perspectives of hops +had been laid low by the busy pickers, when the apples clustering in the +orchards were russet, and the berries of the mountain ash were crimson +among the yellowing foliage. Already in the woods, glimpses of the hardy +winter that was coming were to be caught through unaccustomed openings +among the boughs where the prospect shone defined and clear, free from +the bloom of the drowsy summer weather, which had rested on it as the +bloom lies on the plum. So, from the seashore the ocean was no longer to +be seen lying asleep in the heat, but its thousand sparkling eyes were +open, and its whole breadth was in joyful animation, from the cool sand +on the beach to the little sails on the horizon, drifting away like +autumn-tinted leaves that had drifted from the trees. + +Changeless and barren, looking ignorantly at all the seasons with its +fixed, pinched face of poverty and care, the prison had not a touch of +any of these beauties on it. Blossom what would, its bricks and bars +bore uniformly the same dead crop. Yet Clennam, listening to the voice +as it read to him, heard in it all that great Nature was doing, heard in +it all the soothing songs she sings to man. At no Mother's knee but hers +had he ever dwelt in his youth on hopeful promises, on playful fancies, +on the harvests of tenderness and humility that lie hidden in the +early-fostered seeds of the imagination; on the oaks of retreat from +blighting winds, that have the germs of their strong roots in nursery +acorns. But, in the tones of the voice that read to him, there were +memories of an old feeling of such things, and echoes of every merciful +and loving whisper that had ever stolen to him in his life. + +When the voice stopped, he put his hand over his eyes, murmuring that +the light was strong upon them. + +Little Dorrit put the book by, and presently arose quietly to shade +the window. Maggy sat at her needlework in her old place. The light +softened, Little Dorrit brought her chair closer to his side. + +'This will soon be over now, dear Mr Clennam. Not only are Mr Doyce's +letters to you so full of friendship and encouragement, but Mr Rugg says +his letters to him are so full of help, and that everybody (now a little +anger is past) is so considerate, and speaks so well of you, that it +will soon be over now.' + +'Dear girl. Dear heart. Good angel!' + +'You praise me far too much. And yet it is such an exquisite pleasure +to me to hear you speak so feelingly, and to--and to see,' said Little +Dorrit, raising her eyes to his, 'how deeply you mean it, that I cannot +say Don't.' + +He lifted her hand to his lips. + +'You have been here many, many times, when I have not seen you, Little +Dorrit?' + +'Yes, I have been here sometimes when I have not come into the room.' + +'Very often?' + +'Rather often,' said Little Dorrit, timidly. + +'Every day?' + +'I think,' said Little Dorrit, after hesitating, 'that I have been here +at least twice every day.' + +He might have released the little light hand after fervently kissing it +again; but that, with a very gentle lingering where it was, it seemed to +court being retained. He took it in both of his, and it lay softly on his +breast. + +'Dear Little Dorrit, it is not my imprisonment only that will soon be +over. This sacrifice of you must be ended. We must learn to part again, +and to take our different ways so wide asunder. You have not forgotten +what we said together, when you came back?' + +'O no, I have not forgotten it. But something has been--You feel quite +strong to-day, don't you?' + +'Quite strong.' + +The hand he held crept up a little nearer his face. + +'Do you feel quite strong enough to know what a great fortune I have +got?' + +'I shall be very glad to be told. No fortune can be too great or good +for Little Dorrit.' + +'I have been anxiously waiting to tell you. I have been longing and +longing to tell you. You are sure you will not take it?' + +'Never!' + +'You are quite sure you will not take half of it?' + +'Never, dear Little Dorrit!' + +As she looked at him silently, there was something in her affectionate +face that he did not quite comprehend: something that could have broken +into tears in a moment, and yet that was happy and proud. + +'You will be sorry to hear what I have to tell you about Fanny. Poor +Fanny has lost everything. She has nothing left but her husband's +income. All that papa gave her when she married was lost as your money +was lost. It was in the same hands, and it is all gone.' + +Arthur was more shocked than surprised to hear it. 'I had hoped it might +not be so bad,' he said: 'but I had feared a heavy loss there, knowing +the connection between her husband and the defaulter.' + +'Yes. It is all gone. I am very sorry for Fanny; very, very, very sorry +for poor Fanny. My poor brother too!' + +'Had _he_ property in the same hands?' + +'Yes! And it's all gone.--How much do you think my own great fortune +is?' + +As Arthur looked at her inquiringly, with a new apprehension on him, +she withdrew her hand, and laid her face down on the spot where it had +rested. + +'I have nothing in the world. I am as poor as when I lived here. When +papa came over to England, he confided everything he had to the same +hands, and it is all swept away. O my dearest and best, are you quite +sure you will not share my fortune with me now?' + +Locked in his arms, held to his heart, with his manly tears upon her own +cheek, she drew the slight hand round his neck, and clasped it in its +fellow-hand. + +'Never to part, my dearest Arthur; never any more, until the last! +I never was rich before, I never was proud before, I never was happy +before, I am rich in being taken by you, I am proud in having been +resigned by you, I am happy in being with you in this prison, as I +should be happy in coming back to it with you, if it should be the will +of GOD, and comforting and serving you with all my love and truth. I am +yours anywhere, everywhere! I love you dearly! I would rather pass my +life here with you, and go out daily, working for our bread, than I +would have the greatest fortune that ever was told, and be the greatest +lady that ever was honoured. O, if poor papa may only know how blest at +last my heart is, in this room where he suffered for so many years!' + + +Maggy had of course been staring from the first, and had of course been +crying her eyes out long before this. Maggy was now so overjoyed that, +after hugging her little mother with all her might, she went down-stairs +like a clog-hornpipe to find somebody or other to whom to impart her +gladness. Whom should Maggy meet but Flora and Mr F.'s Aunt opportunely +coming in? And whom else, as a consequence of that meeting, should +Little Dorrit find waiting for herself, when, a good two or three hours +afterwards, she went out? + +Flora's eyes were a little red, and she seemed rather out of spirits. +Mr F.'s Aunt was so stiffened that she had the appearance of being past +bending by any means short of powerful mechanical pressure. Her bonnet +was cocked up behind in a terrific manner; and her stony reticule was as +rigid as if it had been petrified by the Gorgon's head, and had got it +at that moment inside. With these imposing attributes, Mr F.'s Aunt, +publicly seated on the steps of the Marshal's official residence, had +been for the two or three hours in question a great boon to the younger +inhabitants of the Borough, whose sallies of humour she had considerably +flushed herself by resenting at the point of her umbrella, from time to +time. + +'Painfully aware, Miss Dorrit, I am sure,' said Flora, 'that to propose +an adjournment to any place to one so far removed by fortune and so +courted and caressed by the best society must ever appear intruding +even if not a pie-shop far below your present sphere and a back-parlour +though a civil man but if for the sake of Arthur--cannot overcome it +more improper now than ever late Doyce and Clennam--one last remark I +might wish to make one last explanation I might wish to offer perhaps +your good nature might excuse under pretence of three kidney ones the +humble place of conversation.' + +Rightly interpreting this rather obscure speech, Little Dorrit returned +that she was quite at Flora's disposition. Flora accordingly led the +way across the road to the pie-shop in question: Mr F.'s Aunt stalking +across in the rear, and putting herself in the way of being run over, +with a perseverance worthy of a better cause. + +When the 'three kidney ones,' which were to be a blind to the +conversation, were set before them on three little tin platters, each +kidney one ornamented with a hole at the top, into which the civil man +poured hot gravy out of a spouted can as if he were feeding three lamps, +Flora took out her pocket-handkerchief. + +'If Fancy's fair dreams,' she began, 'have ever pictured that when +Arthur--cannot overcome it pray excuse me--was restored to freedom even +a pie as far from flaky as the present and so deficient in kidney as to +be in that respect like a minced nutmeg might not prove unacceptable if +offered by the hand of true regard such visions have for ever fled +and all is cancelled but being aware that tender relations are in +contemplation beg to state that I heartily wish well to both and find +no fault with either not the least, it may be withering to know that ere +the hand of Time had made me much less slim than formerly and dreadfully +red on the slightest exertion particularly after eating I well know when +it takes the form of a rash, it might have been and was not through the +interruption of parents and mental torpor succeeded until the mysterious +clue was held by Mr F. still I would not be ungenerous to either and I +heartily wish well to both.' + +Little Dorrit took her hand, and thanked her for all her old kindness. + +'Call it not kindness,' returned Flora, giving her an honest kiss, 'for +you always were the best and dearest little thing that ever was if I +may take the liberty and even in a money point of view a saving being +Conscience itself though I must add much more agreeable than mine ever +was to me for though not I hope more burdened than other people's yet +I have always found it far readier to make one uncomfortable than +comfortable and evidently taking a greater pleasure in doing it but I am +wandering, one hope I wish to express ere yet the closing scene draws +in and it is that I do trust for the sake of old times and old sincerity +that Arthur will know that I didn't desert him in his misfortunes but +that I came backwards and forwards constantly to ask if I could do +anything for him and that I sat in the pie-shop where they very civilly +fetched something warm in a tumbler from the hotel and really very nice +hours after hours to keep him company over the way without his knowing +it.' + +Flora really had tears in her eyes now, and they showed her to great +advantage. + +'Over and above which,' said Flora, 'I earnestly beg you as the dearest +thing that ever was if you'll still excuse the familiarity from one who +moves in very different circles to let Arthur understand that I don't +know after all whether it wasn't all nonsense between us though pleasant +at the time and trying too and certainly Mr F. did work a change and +the spell being broken nothing could be expected to take place without +weaving it afresh which various circumstances have combined to prevent +of which perhaps not the least powerful was that it was not to be, I +am not prepared to say that if it had been agreeable to Arthur and had +brought itself about naturally in the first instance I should not have +been very glad being of a lively disposition and moped at home where +papa undoubtedly is the most aggravating of his sex and not improved +since having been cut down by the hand of the Incendiary into something +of which I never saw the counterpart in all my life but jealousy is not +my character nor ill-will though many faults.' + +Without having been able closely to follow Mrs Finching through this +labyrinth, Little Dorrit understood its purpose, and cordially accepted +the trust. + +'The withered chaplet my dear,' said Flora, with great enjoyment, 'is +then perished the column is crumbled and the pyramid is standing upside +down upon its what's-his-name call it not giddiness call it not weakness +call it not folly I must now retire into privacy and look upon the ashes +of departed joys no more but taking a further liberty of paying for the +pastry which has formed the humble pretext of our interview will for +ever say Adieu!' + +Mr F.'s Aunt, who had eaten her pie with great solemnity, and who had +been elaborating some grievous scheme of injury in her mind since her +first assumption of that public position on the Marshal's steps, took +the present opportunity of addressing the following Sibyllic apostrophe +to the relict of her late nephew. + +'Bring him for'ard, and I'll chuck him out o' winder!' + +Flora tried in vain to soothe the excellent woman by explaining that +they were going home to dinner. Mr F.'s Aunt persisted in replying, +'Bring him for'ard and I'll chuck him out o' winder!' Having reiterated +this demand an immense number of times, with a sustained glare of +defiance at Little Dorrit, Mr F.'s Aunt folded her arms, and sat down in +the corner of the pie-shop parlour; steadfastly refusing to budge until +such time as 'he' should have been 'brought for'ard,' and the chucking +portion of his destiny accomplished. + +In this condition of things, Flora confided to Little Dorrit that she +had not seen Mr F.'s Aunt so full of life and character for weeks; that +she would find it necessary to remain there 'hours perhaps,' until the +inexorable old lady could be softened; and that she could manage her +best alone. They parted, therefore, in the friendliest manner, and with +the kindest feeling on both sides. + +Mr F.'s Aunt holding out like a grim fortress, and Flora becoming in +need of refreshment, a messenger was despatched to the hotel for the +tumbler already glanced at, which was afterwards replenished. With the +aid of its content, a newspaper, and some skimming of the cream of the +pie-stock, Flora got through the remainder of the day in perfect good +humour; though occasionally embarrassed by the consequences of an +idle rumour which circulated among the credulous infants of the +neighbourhood, to the effect that an old lady had sold herself to the +pie-shop to be made up, and was then sitting in the pie-shop parlour, +declining to complete her contract. This attracted so many young persons +of both sexes, and, when the shades of evening began to fall, occasioned +so much interruption to the business, that the merchant became very +pressing in his proposals that Mr F.'s Aunt should be removed. A +conveyance was accordingly brought to the door, which, by the joint +efforts of the merchant and Flora, this remarkable woman was at last +induced to enter; though not without even then putting her head out of +the window, and demanding to have him 'brought for'ard' for the purpose +originally mentioned. As she was observed at this time to direct baleful +glances towards the Marshalsea, it has been supposed that this admirably +consistent female intended by 'him,' Arthur Clennam. This, however, is +mere speculation; who the person was, who, for the satisfaction of Mr +F.'s Aunt's mind, ought to have been brought forward and never was +brought forward, will never be positively known. + + +The autumn days went on, and Little Dorrit never came to the Marshalsea +now and went away without seeing him. No, no, no. + +One morning, as Arthur listened for the light feet that every morning +ascended winged to his heart, bringing the heavenly brightness of a new +love into the room where the old love had wrought so hard and been so +true; one morning, as he listened, he heard her coming, not alone. + +'Dear Arthur,' said her delighted voice outside the door, 'I have some +one here. May I bring some one in?' + +He had thought from the tread there were two with her. He answered +'Yes,' and she came in with Mr Meagles. Sun-browned and jolly Mr +Meagles looked, and he opened his arms and folded Arthur in them, like a +sun-browned and jolly father. + +'Now I am all right,' said Mr Meagles, after a minute or so. 'Now it's +over. Arthur, my dear fellow, confess at once that you expected me +before.' + +'I did,' said Arthur; 'but Amy told me--' + +'Little Dorrit. Never any other name.' (It was she who whispered it.) + +'--But my Little Dorrit told me that, without asking for any further +explanation, I was not to expect you until I saw you.' + +'And now you see me, my boy,' said Mr Meagles, shaking him by the hand +stoutly; 'and now you shall have any explanation and every explanation. +The fact is, I _was_ here--came straight to you from the Allongers +and Marshongers, or I should be ashamed to look you in the face this +day,--but you were not in company trim at the moment, and I had to start +off again to catch Doyce.' + +'Poor Doyce!' sighed Arthur. + +'Don't call him names that he don't deserve,' said Mr Meagles. '_He's_ +not poor; _he's_ doing well enough. Doyce is a wonderful fellow over +there. I assure you he is making out his case like a house a-fire. He +has fallen on his legs, has Dan. Where they don't want things done and +find a man to do 'em, that man's off his legs; but where they do want +things done and find a man to do 'em, that man's on his legs. You won't +have occasion to trouble the Circumlocution Office any more. Let me tell +you, Dan has done without 'em!' + +'What a load you take from my mind!' cried Arthur. 'What happiness you +give me!' + +'Happiness?' retorted Mr Meagles. 'Don't talk about happiness till you +see Dan. I assure you Dan is directing works and executing labours over +yonder, that it would make your hair stand on end to look at. He's no +public offender, bless you, now! He's medalled and ribboned, and starred +and crossed, and I don't-know-what all'd, like a born nobleman. But we +mustn't talk about that over here.' + +'Why not?' + +'Oh, egad!' said Mr Meagles, shaking his head very seriously, 'he must +hide all those things under lock and key when he comes over here. They +won't do over here. In that particular, Britannia is a Britannia in the +Manger--won't give her children such distinctions herself, and won't +allow them to be seen when they are given by other countries. No, no, +Dan!' said Mr Meagles, shaking his head again. 'That won't do here!' + +'If you had brought me (except for Doyce's sake) twice what I have +lost,' cried Arthur, 'you would not have given me the pleasure that you +give me in this news.' + +'Why, of course, of course,' assented Mr Meagles. 'Of course I know +that, my good fellow, and therefore I come out with it in the first +burst. Now, to go back, about catching Doyce. I caught Doyce. Ran +against him among a lot of those dirty brown dogs in women's nightcaps a +great deal too big for 'em, calling themselves Arabs and all sorts of +incoherent races. _You_ know 'em! Well! He was coming straight to me, +and I was going to him, and so we came back together.' + +'Doyce in England!' exclaimed Arthur. + +'There!' said Mr Meagles, throwing open his arms. 'I am the worst man +in the world to manage a thing of this sort. I don't know what I should +have done if I had been in the diplomatic line--right, perhaps! The long +and short of it is, Arthur, we have both been in England this fortnight. +And if you go on to ask where Doyce is at the present moment, why, my +plain answer is--here he is! And now I can breathe again at last!' + +Doyce darted in from behind the door, caught Arthur by both hands, and +said the rest for himself. + +'There are only three branches of my subject, my dear Clennam,' said +Doyce, proceeding to mould them severally, with his plastic thumb, on +the palm of his hand, 'and they're soon disposed of. First, not a word +more from you about the past. There was an error in your calculations. +I know what that is. It affects the whole machine, and failure is the +consequence. You will profit by the failure, and will avoid it another +time. I have done a similar thing myself, in construction, often. Every +failure teaches a man something, if he will learn; and you are too +sensible a man not to learn from this failure. So much for firstly. +Secondly. I was sorry you should have taken it so heavily to heart, and +reproached yourself so severely; I was travelling home night and day +to put matters right, with the assistance of our friend, when I fell in +with our friend as he has informed you. Thirdly. We two agreed, that, +after what you had undergone, after your distress of mind, and after +your illness, it would be a pleasant surprise if we could so far keep +quiet as to get things perfectly arranged without your knowledge, and +then come and say that all the affairs were smooth, that everything was +right, that the business stood in greater want of you than ever it did, +and that a new and prosperous career was opened before you and me as +partners. That's thirdly. But you know we always make an allowance for +friction, and so I have reserved space to close in. My dear Clennam, +I thoroughly confide in you; you have it in your power to be quite as +useful to me as I have, or have had, it in my power to be useful to you; +your old place awaits you, and wants you very much; there is nothing to +detain you here one half-hour longer.' + +There was silence, which was not broken until Arthur had stood for some +time at the window with his back towards them, and until his little wife +that was to be had gone to him and stayed by him. + +'I made a remark a little while ago,' said Daniel Doyce then, 'which I +am inclined to think was an incorrect one. I said there was nothing +to detain you here, Clennam, half an hour longer. Am I mistaken in +supposing that you would rather not leave here till to-morrow morning? +Do I know, without being very wise, where you would like to go, direct +from these walls and from this room?' + +'You do,' returned Arthur. 'It has been our cherished purpose.' + +'Very well!' said Doyce. 'Then, if this young lady will do me the honour +of regarding me for four-and-twenty hours in the light of a father, and +will take a ride with me now towards Saint Paul's Churchyard, I dare say +I know what we want to get there.' + +Little Dorrit and he went out together soon afterwards, and Mr Meagles +lingered behind to say a word to his friend. + +'I think, Arthur, you will not want Mother and me in the morning and +we will keep away. It might set Mother thinking about Pet; she's a +soft-hearted woman. She's best at the Cottage, and I'll stay there and +keep her company.' + +With that they parted for the time. And the day ended, and the night +ended, and the morning came, and Little Dorrit, simply dressed as usual +and having no one with her but Maggy, came into the prison with the +sunshine. The poor room was a happy room that morning. Where in the +world was there a room so full of quiet joy! + +'My dear love,' said Arthur. 'Why does Maggy light the fire? We shall be +gone directly.' + +'I asked her to do it. I have taken such an odd fancy. I want you to +burn something for me.' + +'What?' + +'Only this folded paper. If you will put it in the fire with your own +hand, just as it is, my fancy will be gratified.' + +'Superstitious, darling Little Dorrit? Is it a charm?' + +'It is anything you like best, my own,' she answered, laughing with +glistening eyes and standing on tiptoe to kiss him, 'if you will only +humour me when the fire burns up.' + +So they stood before the fire, waiting: Clennam with his arm about her +waist, and the fire shining, as fire in that same place had often shone, +in Little Dorrit's eyes. 'Is it bright enough now?' said Arthur. 'Quite +bright enough now,' said Little Dorrit. 'Does the charm want any words +to be said?' asked Arthur, as he held the paper over the flame. 'You can +say (if you don't mind) "I love you!"' answered Little Dorrit. So he said +it, and the paper burned away. + +They passed very quietly along the yard; for no one was there, though +many heads were stealthily peeping from the windows. Only one face, +familiar of old, was in the Lodge. When they had both accosted it, and +spoken many kind words, Little Dorrit turned back one last time with her +hand stretched out, saying, 'Good-bye, good John! I hope you will live +very happy, dear!' + +Then they went up the steps of the neighbouring Saint George's Church, +and went up to the altar, where Daniel Doyce was waiting in his paternal +character. And there was Little Dorrit's old friend who had given her +the Burial Register for a pillow; full of admiration that she should +come back to them to be married, after all. + +And they were married with the sun shining on them through the painted +figure of Our Saviour on the window. And they went into the very room +where Little Dorrit had slumbered after her party, to sign the Marriage +Register. And there, Mr Pancks, (destined to be chief clerk to Doyce and +Clennam, and afterwards partner in the house), sinking the Incendiary +in the peaceful friend, looked in at the door to see it done, with Flora +gallantly supported on one arm and Maggy on the other, and a back-ground +of John Chivery and father and other turnkeys who had run round for the +moment, deserting the parent Marshalsea for its happy child. Nor had +Flora the least signs of seclusion upon her, notwithstanding her recent +declaration; but, on the contrary, was wonderfully smart, and enjoyed +the ceremonies mightily, though in a fluttered way. + +Little Dorrit's old friend held the inkstand as she signed her name, and +the clerk paused in taking off the good clergyman's surplice, and all +the witnesses looked on with special interest. 'For, you see,' said +Little Dorrit's old friend, 'this young lady is one of our curiosities, +and has come now to the third volume of our Registers. Her birth is in +what I call the first volume; she lay asleep, on this very floor, +with her pretty head on what I call the second volume; and she's now +a-writing her little name as a bride in what I call the third volume.' + +They all gave place when the signing was done, and Little Dorrit and her +husband walked out of the church alone. They paused for a moment on the +steps of the portico, looking at the fresh perspective of the street in +the autumn morning sun's bright rays, and then went down. + +Went down into a modest life of usefulness and happiness. Went down +to give a mother's care, in the fulness of time, to Fanny's neglected +children no less than to their own, and to leave that lady going into +Society for ever and a day. Went down to give a tender nurse and friend +to Tip for some few years, who was never vexed by the great exactions he +made of her in return for the riches he might have given her if he had +ever had them, and who lovingly closed his eyes upon the Marshalsea +and all its blighted fruits. They went quietly down into the roaring +streets, inseparable and blessed; and as they passed along in sunshine +and shade, the noisy and the eager, and the arrogant and the froward and +the vain, fretted and chafed, and made their usual uproar. \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/Text5.txt b/Text5.txt new file mode 100644 index 0000000..f7624b5 --- /dev/null +++ b/Text5.txt @@ -0,0 +1,3386 @@ + + THE CHIMES + A Goblin Story + + + OF + SOME BELLS THAT RANG AN OLD YEAR OUT + AND A NEW YEAR IN + + + + +CHAPTER I—First Quarter. + + +There are not many people—and as it is desirable that a story-teller and +a story-reader should establish a mutual understanding as soon as +possible, I beg it to be noticed that I confine this observation neither +to young people nor to little people, but extend it to all conditions of +people: little and big, young and old: yet growing up, or already growing +down again—there are not, I say, many people who would care to sleep in a +church. I don’t mean at sermon-time in warm weather (when the thing has +actually been done, once or twice), but in the night, and alone. A great +multitude of persons will be violently astonished, I know, by this +position, in the broad bold Day. But it applies to Night. It must be +argued by night, and I will undertake to maintain it successfully on any +gusty winter’s night appointed for the purpose, with any one opponent +chosen from the rest, who will meet me singly in an old churchyard, +before an old church-door; and will previously empower me to lock him in, +if needful to his satisfaction, until morning. + +For the night-wind has a dismal trick of wandering round and round a +building of that sort, and moaning as it goes; and of trying, with its +unseen hand, the windows and the doors; and seeking out some crevices by +which to enter. And when it has got in; as one not finding what it +seeks, whatever that may be, it wails and howls to issue forth again: and +not content with stalking through the aisles, and gliding round and round +the pillars, and tempting the deep organ, soars up to the roof, and +strives to rend the rafters: then flings itself despairingly upon the +stones below, and passes, muttering, into the vaults. Anon, it comes up +stealthily, and creeps along the walls, seeming to read, in whispers, the +Inscriptions sacred to the Dead. At some of these, it breaks out +shrilly, as with laughter; and at others, moans and cries as if it were +lamenting. It has a ghostly sound too, lingering within the altar; where +it seems to chaunt, in its wild way, of Wrong and Murder done, and false +Gods worshipped, in defiance of the Tables of the Law, which look so fair +and smooth, but are so flawed and broken. Ugh! Heaven preserve us, +sitting snugly round the fire! It has an awful voice, that wind at +Midnight, singing in a church! + +But, high up in the steeple! There the foul blast roars and whistles! +High up in the steeple, where it is free to come and go through many an +airy arch and loophole, and to twist and twine itself about the giddy +stair, and twirl the groaning weathercock, and make the very tower shake +and shiver! High up in the steeple, where the belfry is, and iron rails +are ragged with rust, and sheets of lead and copper, shrivelled by the +changing weather, crackle and heave beneath the unaccustomed tread; and +birds stuff shabby nests into corners of old oaken joists and beams; and +dust grows old and grey; and speckled spiders, indolent and fat with long +security, swing idly to and fro in the vibration of the bells, and never +loose their hold upon their thread-spun castles in the air, or climb up +sailor-like in quick alarm, or drop upon the ground and ply a score of +nimble legs to save one life! High up in the steeple of an old church, +far above the light and murmur of the town and far below the flying +clouds that shadow it, is the wild and dreary place at night: and high up +in the steeple of an old church, dwelt the Chimes I tell of. + +They were old Chimes, trust me. Centuries ago, these Bells had been +baptized by bishops: so many centuries ago, that the register of their +baptism was lost long, long before the memory of man, and no one knew +their names. They had had their Godfathers and Godmothers, these Bells +(for my own part, by the way, I would rather incur the responsibility of +being Godfather to a Bell than a Boy), and had their silver mugs no +doubt, besides. But Time had mowed down their sponsors, and Henry the +Eighth had melted down their mugs; and they now hung, nameless and +mugless, in the church-tower. + +Not speechless, though. Far from it. They had clear, loud, lusty, +sounding voices, had these Bells; and far and wide they might be heard +upon the wind. Much too sturdy Chimes were they, to be dependent on the +pleasure of the wind, moreover; for, fighting gallantly against it when +it took an adverse whim, they would pour their cheerful notes into a +listening ear right royally; and bent on being heard on stormy nights, by +some poor mother watching a sick child, or some lone wife whose husband +was at sea, they had been sometimes known to beat a blustering Nor’ +Wester; aye, ‘all to fits,’ as Toby Veck said;—for though they chose to +call him Trotty Veck, his name was Toby, and nobody could make it +anything else either (except Tobias) without a special act of parliament; +he having been as lawfully christened in his day as the Bells had been in +theirs, though with not quite so much of solemnity or public rejoicing. + +For my part, I confess myself of Toby Veck’s belief, for I am sure he had +opportunities enough of forming a correct one. And whatever Toby Veck +said, I say. And I take my stand by Toby Veck, although he _did_ stand +all day long (and weary work it was) just outside the church-door. In +fact he was a ticket-porter, Toby Veck, and waited there for jobs. + +And a breezy, goose-skinned, blue-nosed, red-eyed, stony-toed, +tooth-chattering place it was, to wait in, in the winter-time, as Toby +Veck well knew. The wind came tearing round the corner—especially the +east wind—as if it had sallied forth, express, from the confines of the +earth, to have a blow at Toby. And oftentimes it seemed to come upon him +sooner than it had expected, for bouncing round the corner, and passing +Toby, it would suddenly wheel round again, as if it cried ‘Why, here he +is!’ Incontinently his little white apron would be caught up over his +head like a naughty boy’s garments, and his feeble little cane would be +seen to wrestle and struggle unavailingly in his hand, and his legs would +undergo tremendous agitation, and Toby himself all aslant, and facing now +in this direction, now in that, would be so banged and buffeted, and +touzled, and worried, and hustled, and lifted off his feet, as to render +it a state of things but one degree removed from a positive miracle, that +he wasn’t carried up bodily into the air as a colony of frogs or snails +or other very portable creatures sometimes are, and rained down again, to +the great astonishment of the natives, on some strange corner of the +world where ticket-porters are unknown. + +But, windy weather, in spite of its using him so roughly, was, after all, +a sort of holiday for Toby. That’s the fact. He didn’t seem to wait so +long for a sixpence in the wind, as at other times; the having to fight +with that boisterous element took off his attention, and quite freshened +him up, when he was getting hungry and low-spirited. A hard frost too, +or a fall of snow, was an Event; and it seemed to do him good, somehow or +other—it would have been hard to say in what respect though, Toby! So +wind and frost and snow, and perhaps a good stiff storm of hail, were +Toby Veck’s red-letter days. + +Wet weather was the worst; the cold, damp, clammy wet, that wrapped him +up like a moist great-coat—the only kind of great-coat Toby owned, or +could have added to his comfort by dispensing with. Wet days, when the +rain came slowly, thickly, obstinately down; when the street’s throat, +like his own, was choked with mist; when smoking umbrellas passed and +re-passed, spinning round and round like so many teetotums, as they +knocked against each other on the crowded footway, throwing off a little +whirlpool of uncomfortable sprinklings; when gutters brawled and +waterspouts were full and noisy; when the wet from the projecting stones +and ledges of the church fell drip, drip, drip, on Toby, making the wisp +of straw on which he stood mere mud in no time; those were the days that +tried him. Then, indeed, you might see Toby looking anxiously out from +his shelter in an angle of the church wall—such a meagre shelter that in +summer time it never cast a shadow thicker than a good-sized walking +stick upon the sunny pavement—with a disconsolate and lengthened face. +But coming out, a minute afterwards, to warm himself by exercise, and +trotting up and down some dozen times, he would brighten even then, and +go back more brightly to his niche. + +They called him Trotty from his pace, which meant speed if it didn’t make +it. He could have walked faster perhaps; most likely; but rob him of his +trot, and Toby would have taken to his bed and died. It bespattered him +with mud in dirty weather; it cost him a world of trouble; he could have +walked with infinitely greater ease; but that was one reason for his +clinging to it so tenaciously. A weak, small, spare old man, he was a +very Hercules, this Toby, in his good intentions. He loved to earn his +money. He delighted to believe—Toby was very poor, and couldn’t well +afford to part with a delight—that he was worth his salt. With a +shilling or an eighteenpenny message or small parcel in hand, his courage +always high, rose higher. As he trotted on, he would call out to fast +Postmen ahead of him, to get out of the way; devoutly believing that in +the natural course of things he must inevitably overtake and run them +down; and he had perfect faith—not often tested—in his being able to +carry anything that man could lift. + +Thus, even when he came out of his nook to warm himself on a wet day, +Toby trotted. Making, with his leaky shoes, a crooked line of slushy +footprints in the mire; and blowing on his chilly hands and rubbing them +against each other, poorly defended from the searching cold by threadbare +mufflers of grey worsted, with a private apartment only for the thumb, +and a common room or tap for the rest of the fingers; Toby, with his +knees bent and his cane beneath his arm, still trotted. Falling out into +the road to look up at the belfry when the Chimes resounded, Toby trotted +still. + +He made this last excursion several times a day, for they were company to +him; and when he heard their voices, he had an interest in glancing at +their lodging-place, and thinking how they were moved, and what hammers +beat upon them. Perhaps he was the more curious about these Bells, +because there were points of resemblance between themselves and him. +They hung there, in all weathers, with the wind and rain driving in upon +them; facing only the outsides of all those houses; never getting any +nearer to the blazing fires that gleamed and shone upon the windows, or +came puffing out of the chimney tops; and incapable of participation in +any of the good things that were constantly being handed through the +street doors and the area railings, to prodigious cooks. Faces came and +went at many windows: sometimes pretty faces, youthful faces, pleasant +faces: sometimes the reverse: but Toby knew no more (though he often +speculated on these trifles, standing idle in the streets) whence they +came, or where they went, or whether, when the lips moved, one kind word +was said of him in all the year, than did the Chimes themselves. + +Toby was not a casuist—that he knew of, at least—and I don’t mean to say +that when he began to take to the Bells, and to knit up his first rough +acquaintance with them into something of a closer and more delicate woof, +he passed through these considerations one by one, or held any formal +review or great field-day in his thoughts. But what I mean to say, and +do say is, that as the functions of Toby’s body, his digestive organs for +example, did of their own cunning, and by a great many operations of +which he was altogether ignorant, and the knowledge of which would have +astonished him very much, arrive at a certain end; so his mental +faculties, without his privity or concurrence, set all these wheels and +springs in motion, with a thousand others, when they worked to bring +about his liking for the Bells. + +And though I had said his love, I would not have recalled the word, +though it would scarcely have expressed his complicated feeling. For, +being but a simple man, he invested them with a strange and solemn +character. They were so mysterious, often heard and never seen; so high +up, so far off, so full of such a deep strong melody, that he regarded +them with a species of awe; and sometimes when he looked up at the dark +arched windows in the tower, he half expected to be beckoned to by +something which was not a Bell, and yet was what he had heard so often +sounding in the Chimes. For all this, Toby scouted with indignation a +certain flying rumour that the Chimes were haunted, as implying the +possibility of their being connected with any Evil thing. In short, they +were very often in his ears, and very often in his thoughts, but always +in his good opinion; and he very often got such a crick in his neck by +staring with his mouth wide open, at the steeple where they hung, that he +was fain to take an extra trot or two, afterwards, to cure it. + +The very thing he was in the act of doing one cold day, when the last +drowsy sound of Twelve o’clock, just struck, was humming like a melodious +monster of a Bee, and not by any means a busy bee, all through the +steeple! + +‘Dinner-time, eh!’ said Toby, trotting up and down before the church. +‘Ah!’ + +Toby’s nose was very red, and his eyelids were very red, and he winked +very much, and his shoulders were very near his ears, and his legs were +very stiff, and altogether he was evidently a long way upon the frosty +side of cool. + +‘Dinner-time, eh!’ repeated Toby, using his right-hand muffler like an +infantine boxing-glove, and punishing his chest for being cold. +‘Ah-h-h-h!’ + +He took a silent trot, after that, for a minute or two. + +‘There’s nothing,’ said Toby, breaking forth afresh—but here he stopped +short in his trot, and with a face of great interest and some alarm, felt +his nose carefully all the way up. It was but a little way (not being +much of a nose) and he had soon finished. + +‘I thought it was gone,’ said Toby, trotting off again. ‘It’s all right, +however. I am sure I couldn’t blame it if it was to go. It has a +precious hard service of it in the bitter weather, and precious little to +look forward to; for I don’t take snuff myself. It’s a good deal tried, +poor creetur, at the best of times; for when it _does_ get hold of a +pleasant whiff or so (which an’t too often) it’s generally from somebody +else’s dinner, a-coming home from the baker’s.’ + +The reflection reminded him of that other reflection, which he had left +unfinished. + +‘There’s nothing,’ said Toby, ‘more regular in its coming round than +dinner-time, and nothing less regular in its coming round than dinner. +That’s the great difference between ’em. It’s took me a long time to +find it out. I wonder whether it would be worth any gentleman’s while, +now, to buy that obserwation for the Papers; or the Parliament!’ + +Toby was only joking, for he gravely shook his head in self-depreciation. + +‘Why! Lord!’ said Toby. ‘The Papers is full of obserwations as it is; +and so’s the Parliament. Here’s last week’s paper, now;’ taking a very +dirty one from his pocket, and holding it from him at arm’s length; ‘full +of obserwations! Full of obserwations! I like to know the news as well +as any man,’ said Toby, slowly; folding it a little smaller, and putting +it in his pocket again: ‘but it almost goes against the grain with me to +read a paper now. It frightens me almost. I don’t know what we poor +people are coming to. Lord send we may be coming to something better in +the New Year nigh upon us!’ + +‘Why, father, father!’ said a pleasant voice, hard by. + +But Toby, not hearing it, continued to trot backwards and forwards: +musing as he went, and talking to himself. + +‘It seems as if we can’t go right, or do right, or be righted,’ said +Toby. ‘I hadn’t much schooling, myself, when I was young; and I can’t +make out whether we have any business on the face of the earth, or not. +Sometimes I think we must have—a little; and sometimes I think we must be +intruding. I get so puzzled sometimes that I am not even able to make up +my mind whether there is any good at all in us, or whether we are born +bad. We seem to be dreadful things; we seem to give a deal of trouble; +we are always being complained of and guarded against. One way or other, +we fill the papers. Talk of a New Year!’ said Toby, mournfully. ‘I can +bear up as well as another man at most times; better than a good many, +for I am as strong as a lion, and all men an’t; but supposing it should +really be that we have no right to a New Year—supposing we really _are_ +intruding—’ + +‘Why, father, father!’ said the pleasant voice again. + +Toby heard it this time; started; stopped; and shortening his sight, +which had been directed a long way off as seeking the enlightenment in +the very heart of the approaching year, found himself face to face with +his own child, and looking close into her eyes. + +Bright eyes they were. Eyes that would bear a world of looking in, +before their depth was fathomed. Dark eyes, that reflected back the eyes +which searched them; not flashingly, or at the owner’s will, but with a +clear, calm, honest, patient radiance, claiming kindred with that light +which Heaven called into being. Eyes that were beautiful and true, and +beaming with Hope. With Hope so young and fresh; with Hope so buoyant, +vigorous, and bright, despite the twenty years of work and poverty on +which they had looked; that they became a voice to Trotty Veck, and said: +‘I think we have some business here—a little!’ + +Trotty kissed the lips belonging to the eyes, and squeezed the blooming +face between his hands. + +‘Why, Pet,’ said Trotty. ‘What’s to do? I didn’t expect you to-day, +Meg.’ + +‘Neither did I expect to come, father,’ cried the girl, nodding her head +and smiling as she spoke. ‘But here I am! And not alone; not alone!’ + +‘Why you don’t mean to say,’ observed Trotty, looking curiously at a +covered basket which she carried in her hand, ‘that you—’ + +‘Smell it, father dear,’ said Meg. ‘Only smell it!’ + +Trotty was going to lift up the cover at once, in a great hurry, when she +gaily interposed her hand. + +‘No, no, no,’ said Meg, with the glee of a child. ‘Lengthen it out a +little. Let me just lift up the corner; just the lit-tle ti-ny cor-ner, +you know,’ said Meg, suiting the action to the word with the utmost +gentleness, and speaking very softly, as if she were afraid of being +overheard by something inside the basket; ‘there. Now. What’s that?’ + +Toby took the shortest possible sniff at the edge of the basket, and +cried out in a rapture: + +‘Why, it’s hot!’ + +‘It’s burning hot!’ cried Meg. ‘Ha, ha, ha! It’s scalding hot!’ + +‘Ha, ha, ha!’ roared Toby, with a sort of kick. ‘It’s scalding hot!’ + +‘But what is it, father?’ said Meg. ‘Come. You haven’t guessed what it +is. And you must guess what it is. I can’t think of taking it out, till +you guess what it is. Don’t be in such a hurry! Wait a minute! A +little bit more of the cover. Now guess!’ + +Meg was in a perfect fright lest he should guess right too soon; +shrinking away, as she held the basket towards him; curling up her pretty +shoulders; stopping her ear with her hand, as if by so doing she could +keep the right word out of Toby’s lips; and laughing softly the whole +time. + +Meanwhile Toby, putting a hand on each knee, bent down his nose to the +basket, and took a long inspiration at the lid; the grin upon his +withered face expanding in the process, as if he were inhaling laughing +gas. + +‘Ah! It’s very nice,’ said Toby. ‘It an’t—I suppose it an’t Polonies?’ + +‘No, no, no!’ cried Meg, delighted. ‘Nothing like Polonies!’ + +‘No,’ said Toby, after another sniff. ‘It’s—it’s mellower than Polonies. +It’s very nice. It improves every moment. It’s too decided for +Trotters. An’t it?’ + +Meg was in an ecstasy. He could not have gone wider of the mark than +Trotters—except Polonies. + +‘Liver?’ said Toby, communing with himself. ‘No. There’s a mildness +about it that don’t answer to liver. Pettitoes? No. It an’t faint +enough for pettitoes. It wants the stringiness of Cocks’ heads. And I +know it an’t sausages. I’ll tell you what it is. It’s chitterlings!’ + +‘No, it an’t!’ cried Meg, in a burst of delight. ‘No, it an’t!’ + +‘Why, what am I a-thinking of!’ said Toby, suddenly recovering a position +as near the perpendicular as it was possible for him to assume. ‘I shall +forget my own name next. It’s tripe!’ + +Tripe it was; and Meg, in high joy, protested he should say, in half a +minute more, it was the best tripe ever stewed. + +‘And so,’ said Meg, busying herself exultingly with the basket, ‘I’ll lay +the cloth at once, father; for I have brought the tripe in a basin, and +tied the basin up in a pocket-handkerchief; and if I like to be proud for +once, and spread that for a cloth, and call it a cloth, there’s no law to +prevent me; is there, father?’ + +‘Not that I know of, my dear,’ said Toby. ‘But they’re always a-bringing +up some new law or other.’ + +‘And according to what I was reading you in the paper the other day, +father; what the Judge said, you know; we poor people are supposed to +know them all. Ha ha! What a mistake! My goodness me, how clever they +think us!’ + +‘Yes, my dear,’ cried Trotty; ‘and they’d be very fond of any one of us +that _did_ know ’em all. He’d grow fat upon the work he’d get, that man, +and be popular with the gentlefolks in his neighbourhood. Very much so!’ + +‘He’d eat his dinner with an appetite, whoever he was, if it smelt like +this,’ said Meg, cheerfully. ‘Make haste, for there’s a hot potato +besides, and half a pint of fresh-drawn beer in a bottle. Where will you +dine, father? On the Post, or on the Steps? Dear, dear, how grand we +are. Two places to choose from!’ + +‘The steps to-day, my Pet,’ said Trotty. ‘Steps in dry weather. Post in +wet. There’s a greater conveniency in the steps at all times, because of +the sitting down; but they’re rheumatic in the damp.’ + +‘Then here,’ said Meg, clapping her hands, after a moment’s bustle; ‘here +it is, all ready! And beautiful it looks! Come, father. Come!’ + +Since his discovery of the contents of the basket, Trotty had been +standing looking at her—and had been speaking too—in an abstracted +manner, which showed that though she was the object of his thoughts and +eyes, to the exclusion even of tripe, he neither saw nor thought about +her as she was at that moment, but had before him some imaginary rough +sketch or drama of her future life. Roused, now, by her cheerful +summons, he shook off a melancholy shake of the head which was just +coming upon him, and trotted to her side. As he was stooping to sit +down, the Chimes rang. + +‘Amen!’ said Trotty, pulling off his hat and looking up towards them. + +‘Amen to the Bells, father?’ cried Meg. + +‘They broke in like a grace, my dear,’ said Trotty, taking his seat. +‘They’d say a good one, I am sure, if they could. Many’s the kind thing +they say to me.’ + +‘The Bells do, father!’ laughed Meg, as she set the basin, and a knife +and fork, before him. ‘Well!’ + +‘Seem to, my Pet,’ said Trotty, falling to with great vigour. ‘And +where’s the difference? If I hear ’em, what does it matter whether they +speak it or not? Why bless you, my dear,’ said Toby, pointing at the +tower with his fork, and becoming more animated under the influence of +dinner, ‘how often have I heard them bells say, “Toby Veck, Toby Veck, +keep a good heart, Toby! Toby Veck, Toby Veck, keep a good heart, Toby!” +A million times? More!’ + +‘Well, I never!’ cried Meg. + +She had, though—over and over again. For it was Toby’s constant topic. + +‘When things is very bad,’ said Trotty; ‘very bad indeed, I mean; almost +at the worst; then it’s “Toby Veck, Toby Veck, job coming soon, Toby! +Toby Veck, Toby Veck, job coming soon, Toby!” That way.’ + +‘And it comes—at last, father,’ said Meg, with a touch of sadness in her +pleasant voice. + +‘Always,’ answered the unconscious Toby. ‘Never fails.’ + +While this discourse was holding, Trotty made no pause in his attack upon +the savoury meat before him, but cut and ate, and cut and drank, and cut +and chewed, and dodged about, from tripe to hot potato, and from hot +potato back again to tripe, with an unctuous and unflagging relish. But +happening now to look all round the street—in case anybody should be +beckoning from any door or window, for a porter—his eyes, in coming back +again, encountered Meg: sitting opposite to him, with her arms folded and +only busy in watching his progress with a smile of happiness. + +‘Why, Lord forgive me!’ said Trotty, dropping his knife and fork. ‘My +dove! Meg! why didn’t you tell me what a beast I was?’ + +‘Father?’ + +‘Sitting here,’ said Trotty, in penitent explanation, ‘cramming, and +stuffing, and gorging myself; and you before me there, never so much as +breaking your precious fast, nor wanting to, when—’ + +‘But I have broken it, father,’ interposed his daughter, laughing, ‘all +to bits. I have had my dinner.’ + +‘Nonsense,’ said Trotty. ‘Two dinners in one day! It an’t possible! +You might as well tell me that two New Year’s Days will come together, or +that I have had a gold head all my life, and never changed it.’ + +‘I have had my dinner, father, for all that,’ said Meg, coming nearer to +him. ‘And if you’ll go on with yours, I’ll tell you how and where; and +how your dinner came to be brought; and—and something else besides.’ + +Toby still appeared incredulous; but she looked into his face with her +clear eyes, and laying her hand upon his shoulder, motioned him to go on +while the meat was hot. So Trotty took up his knife and fork again, and +went to work. But much more slowly than before, and shaking his head, as +if he were not at all pleased with himself. + +‘I had my dinner, father,’ said Meg, after a little hesitation, +‘with—with Richard. His dinner-time was early; and as he brought his +dinner with him when he came to see me, we—we had it together, father.’ + +Trotty took a little beer, and smacked his lips. Then he said, +‘Oh!’—because she waited. + +‘And Richard says, father—’ Meg resumed. Then stopped. + +‘What does Richard say, Meg?’ asked Toby. + +‘Richard says, father—’ Another stoppage. + +‘Richard’s a long time saying it,’ said Toby. + +‘He says then, father,’ Meg continued, lifting up her eyes at last, and +speaking in a tremble, but quite plainly; ‘another year is nearly gone, +and where is the use of waiting on from year to year, when it is so +unlikely we shall ever be better off than we are now? He says we are +poor now, father, and we shall be poor then, but we are young now, and +years will make us old before we know it. He says that if we wait: +people in our condition: until we see our way quite clearly, the way will +be a narrow one indeed—the common way—the Grave, father.’ + +A bolder man than Trotty Veck must needs have drawn upon his boldness +largely, to deny it. Trotty held his peace. + +‘And how hard, father, to grow old, and die, and think we might have +cheered and helped each other! How hard in all our lives to love each +other; and to grieve, apart, to see each other working, changing, growing +old and grey. Even if I got the better of it, and forgot him (which I +never could), oh father dear, how hard to have a heart so full as mine is +now, and live to have it slowly drained out every drop, without the +recollection of one happy moment of a woman’s life, to stay behind and +comfort me, and make me better!’ + +Trotty sat quite still. Meg dried her eyes, and said more gaily: that is +to say, with here a laugh, and there a sob, and here a laugh and sob +together: + +‘So Richard says, father; as his work was yesterday made certain for some +time to come, and as I love him, and have loved him full three years—ah! +longer than that, if he knew it!—will I marry him on New Year’s Day; the +best and happiest day, he says, in the whole year, and one that is almost +sure to bring good fortune with it. It’s a short notice, father—isn’t +it?—but I haven’t my fortune to be settled, or my wedding dresses to be +made, like the great ladies, father, have I? And he said so much, and +said it in his way; so strong and earnest, and all the time so kind and +gentle; that I said I’d come and talk to you, father. And as they paid +the money for that work of mine this morning (unexpectedly, I am sure!) +and as you have fared very poorly for a whole week, and as I couldn’t +help wishing there should be something to make this day a sort of holiday +to you as well as a dear and happy day to me, father, I made a little +treat and brought it to surprise you.’ + +‘And see how he leaves it cooling on the step!’ said another voice. + +It was the voice of this same Richard, who had come upon them unobserved, +and stood before the father and daughter; looking down upon them with a +face as glowing as the iron on which his stout sledge-hammer daily rung. +A handsome, well-made, powerful youngster he was; with eyes that sparkled +like the red-hot droppings from a furnace fire; black hair that curled +about his swarthy temples rarely; and a smile—a smile that bore out Meg’s +eulogium on his style of conversation. + +‘See how he leaves it cooling on the step!’ said Richard. ‘Meg don’t +know what he likes. Not she!’ + +Trotty, all action and enthusiasm, immediately reached up his hand to +Richard, and was going to address him in great hurry, when the house-door +opened without any warning, and a footman very nearly put his foot into +the tripe. + +‘Out of the vays here, will you! You must always go and be a-settin on +our steps, must you! You can’t go and give a turn to none of the +neighbours never, can’t you! _Will_ you clear the road, or won’t you?’ + +Strictly speaking, the last question was irrelevant, as they had already +done it. + +‘What’s the matter, what’s the matter!’ said the gentleman for whom the +door was opened; coming out of the house at that kind of light-heavy +pace—that peculiar compromise between a walk and a jog-trot—with which a +gentleman upon the smooth down-hill of life, wearing creaking boots, a +watch-chain, and clean linen, _may_ come out of his house: not only +without any abatement of his dignity, but with an expression of having +important and wealthy engagements elsewhere. ‘What’s the matter! What’s +the matter!’ + +‘You’re always a-being begged, and prayed, upon your bended knees you +are,’ said the footman with great emphasis to Trotty Veck, ‘to let our +door-steps be. Why don’t you let ’em be? CAN’T you let ’em be?’ + +‘There! That’ll do, that’ll do!’ said the gentleman. ‘Halloa there! +Porter!’ beckoning with his head to Trotty Veck. ‘Come here. What’s +that? Your dinner?’ + +‘Yes, sir,’ said Trotty, leaving it behind him in a corner. + +‘Don’t leave it there,’ exclaimed the gentleman. ‘Bring it here, bring +it here. So! This is your dinner, is it?’ + +‘Yes, sir,’ repeated Trotty, looking with a fixed eye and a watery mouth, +at the piece of tripe he had reserved for a last delicious tit-bit; which +the gentleman was now turning over and over on the end of the fork. + +Two other gentlemen had come out with him. One was a low-spirited +gentleman of middle age, of a meagre habit, and a disconsolate face; who +kept his hands continually in the pockets of his scanty pepper-and-salt +trousers, very large and dog’s-eared from that custom; and was not +particularly well brushed or washed. The other, a full-sized, sleek, +well-conditioned gentleman, in a blue coat with bright buttons, and a +white cravat. This gentleman had a very red face, as if an undue +proportion of the blood in his body were squeezed up into his head; which +perhaps accounted for his having also the appearance of being rather cold +about the heart. + +He who had Toby’s meat upon the fork, called to the first one by the name +of Filer; and they both drew near together. Mr. Filer being exceedingly +short-sighted, was obliged to go so close to the remnant of Toby’s dinner +before he could make out what it was, that Toby’s heart leaped up into +his mouth. But Mr. Filer didn’t eat it. + +‘This is a description of animal food, Alderman,’ said Filer, making +little punches in it with a pencil-case, ‘commonly known to the labouring +population of this country, by the name of tripe.’ + +The Alderman laughed, and winked; for he was a merry fellow, Alderman +Cute. Oh, and a sly fellow too! A knowing fellow. Up to everything. +Not to be imposed upon. Deep in the people’s hearts! He knew them, Cute +did. I believe you! + +‘But who eats tripe?’ said Mr. Filer, looking round. ‘Tripe is without +an exception the least economical, and the most wasteful article of +consumption that the markets of this country can by possibility produce. +The loss upon a pound of tripe has been found to be, in the boiling, +seven-eights of a fifth more than the loss upon a pound of any other +animal substance whatever. Tripe is more expensive, properly understood, +than the hothouse pine-apple. Taking into account the number of animals +slaughtered yearly within the bills of mortality alone; and forming a low +estimate of the quantity of tripe which the carcases of those animals, +reasonably well butchered, would yield; I find that the waste on that +amount of tripe, if boiled, would victual a garrison of five hundred men +for five months of thirty-one days each, and a February over. The Waste, +the Waste!’ + +Trotty stood aghast, and his legs shook under him. He seemed to have +starved a garrison of five hundred men with his own hand. + +‘Who eats tripe?’ said Mr. Filer, warmly. ‘Who eats tripe?’ + +Trotty made a miserable bow. + +‘You do, do you?’ said Mr. Filer. ‘Then I’ll tell you something. You +snatch your tripe, my friend, out of the mouths of widows and orphans.’ + +‘I hope not, sir,’ said Trotty, faintly. ‘I’d sooner die of want!’ + +‘Divide the amount of tripe before-mentioned, Alderman,’ said Mr. Filer, +‘by the estimated number of existing widows and orphans, and the result +will be one pennyweight of tripe to each. Not a grain is left for that +man. Consequently, he’s a robber.’ + +Trotty was so shocked, that it gave him no concern to see the Alderman +finish the tripe himself. It was a relief to get rid of it, anyhow. + +‘And what do you say?’ asked the Alderman, jocosely, of the red-faced +gentleman in the blue coat. ‘You have heard friend Filer. What do _you +say_?’ + +‘What’s it possible to say?’ returned the gentleman. ‘What _is_ to be +said? Who can take any interest in a fellow like this,’ meaning Trotty; +‘in such degenerate times as these? Look at him. What an object! The +good old times, the grand old times, the great old times! _Those_ were +the times for a bold peasantry, and all that sort of thing. Those were +the times for every sort of thing, in fact. There’s nothing now-a-days. +Ah!’ sighed the red-faced gentleman. ‘The good old times, the good old +times!’ + +The gentleman didn’t specify what particular times he alluded to; nor did +he say whether he objected to the present times, from a disinterested +consciousness that they had done nothing very remarkable in producing +himself. + +‘The good old times, the good old times,’ repeated the gentleman. ‘What +times they were! They were the only times. It’s of no use talking about +any other times, or discussing what the people are in _these_ times. You +don’t call these, times, do you? I don’t. Look into Strutt’s Costumes, +and see what a Porter used to be, in any of the good old English reigns.’ + +‘He hadn’t, in his very best circumstances, a shirt to his back, or a +stocking to his foot; and there was scarcely a vegetable in all England +for him to put into his mouth,’ said Mr. Filer. ‘I can prove it, by +tables.’ + +But still the red-faced gentleman extolled the good old times, the grand +old times, the great old times. No matter what anybody else said, he +still went turning round and round in one set form of words concerning +them; as a poor squirrel turns and turns in its revolving cage; touching +the mechanism, and trick of which, it has probably quite as distinct +perceptions, as ever this red-faced gentleman had of his deceased +Millennium. + +It is possible that poor Trotty’s faith in these very vague Old Times was +not entirely destroyed, for he felt vague enough at that moment. One +thing, however, was plain to him, in the midst of his distress; to wit, +that however these gentlemen might differ in details, his misgivings of +that morning, and of many other mornings, were well founded. ‘No, no. +We can’t go right or do right,’ thought Trotty in despair. ‘There is no +good in us. We are born bad!’ + +But Trotty had a father’s heart within him; which had somehow got into +his breast in spite of this decree; and he could not bear that Meg, in +the blush of her brief joy, should have her fortune read by these wise +gentlemen. ‘God help her,’ thought poor Trotty. ‘She will know it soon +enough.’ + +He anxiously signed, therefore, to the young smith, to take her away. +But he was so busy, talking to her softly at a little distance, that he +only became conscious of this desire, simultaneously with Alderman Cute. +Now, the Alderman had not yet had his say, but _he_ was a philosopher, +too—practical, though! Oh, very practical—and, as he had no idea of +losing any portion of his audience, he cried ‘Stop!’ + +‘Now, you know,’ said the Alderman, addressing his two friends, with a +self-complacent smile upon his face which was habitual to him, ‘I am a +plain man, and a practical man; and I go to work in a plain practical +way. That’s my way. There is not the least mystery or difficulty in +dealing with this sort of people if you only understand ’em, and can talk +to ’em in their own manner. Now, you Porter! Don’t you ever tell me, or +anybody else, my friend, that you haven’t always enough to eat, and of +the best; because I know better. I have tasted your tripe, you know, and +you can’t “chaff” me. You understand what “chaff” means, eh? That’s the +right word, isn’t it? Ha, ha, ha! Lord bless you,’ said the Alderman, +turning to his friends again, ‘it’s the easiest thing on earth to deal +with this sort of people, if you understand ’em.’ + +Famous man for the common people, Alderman Cute! Never out of temper +with them! Easy, affable, joking, knowing gentleman! + +‘You see, my friend,’ pursued the Alderman, ‘there’s a great deal of +nonsense talked about Want—“hard up,” you know; that’s the phrase, isn’t +it? ha! ha! ha!—and I intend to Put it Down. There’s a certain amount of +cant in vogue about Starvation, and I mean to Put it Down. That’s all! +Lord bless you,’ said the Alderman, turning to his friends again, ‘you +may Put Down anything among this sort of people, if you only know the way +to set about it.’ + +Trotty took Meg’s hand and drew it through his arm. He didn’t seem to +know what he was doing though. + +‘Your daughter, eh?’ said the Alderman, chucking her familiarly under the +chin. + +Always affable with the working classes, Alderman Cute! Knew what +pleased them! Not a bit of pride! + +‘Where’s her mother?’ asked that worthy gentleman. + +‘Dead,’ said Toby. ‘Her mother got up linen; and was called to Heaven +when She was born.’ + +‘Not to get up linen _there_, I suppose,’ remarked the Alderman +pleasantly. + +Toby might or might not have been able to separate his wife in Heaven +from her old pursuits. But query: If Mrs. Alderman Cute had gone to +Heaven, would Mr. Alderman Cute have pictured her as holding any state or +station there? + +‘And you’re making love to her, are you?’ said Cute to the young smith. + +‘Yes,’ returned Richard quickly, for he was nettled by the question. +‘And we are going to be married on New Year’s Day.’ + +‘What do you mean!’ cried Filer sharply. ‘Married!’ + +‘Why, yes, we’re thinking of it, Master,’ said Richard. ‘We’re rather in +a hurry, you see, in case it should be Put Down first.’ + +‘Ah!’ cried Filer, with a groan. ‘Put _that_ down indeed, Alderman, and +you’ll do something. Married! Married!! The ignorance of the first +principles of political economy on the part of these people; their +improvidence; their wickedness; is, by Heavens! enough to—Now look at +that couple, will you!’ + +Well? They were worth looking at. And marriage seemed as reasonable and +fair a deed as they need have in contemplation. + +‘A man may live to be as old as Methuselah,’ said Mr. Filer, ‘and may +labour all his life for the benefit of such people as those; and may heap +up facts on figures, facts on figures, facts on figures, mountains high +and dry; and he can no more hope to persuade ’em that they have no right +or business to be married, than he can hope to persuade ’em that they +have no earthly right or business to be born. And _that_ we know they +haven’t. We reduced it to a mathematical certainty long ago!’ + +Alderman Cute was mightily diverted, and laid his right forefinger on the +side of his nose, as much as to say to both his friends, ‘Observe me, +will you! Keep your eye on the practical man!’—and called Meg to him. + +‘Come here, my girl!’ said Alderman Cute. + +The young blood of her lover had been mounting, wrathfully, within the +last few minutes; and he was indisposed to let her come. But, setting a +constraint upon himself, he came forward with a stride as Meg approached, +and stood beside her. Trotty kept her hand within his arm still, but +looked from face to face as wildly as a sleeper in a dream. + +‘Now, I’m going to give you a word or two of good advice, my girl,’ said +the Alderman, in his nice easy way. ‘It’s my place to give advice, you +know, because I’m a Justice. You know I’m a Justice, don’t you?’ + +Meg timidly said, ‘Yes.’ But everybody knew Alderman Cute was a Justice! +Oh dear, so active a Justice always! Who such a mote of brightness in +the public eye, as Cute! + +‘You are going to be married, you say,’ pursued the Alderman. ‘Very +unbecoming and indelicate in one of your sex! But never mind that. +After you are married, you’ll quarrel with your husband and come to be a +distressed wife. You may think not; but you will, because I tell you so. +Now, I give you fair warning, that I have made up my mind to Put +distressed wives Down. So, don’t be brought before me. You’ll have +children—boys. Those boys will grow up bad, of course, and run wild in +the streets, without shoes and stockings. Mind, my young friend! I’ll +convict ’em summarily, every one, for I am determined to Put boys without +shoes and stockings, Down. Perhaps your husband will die young (most +likely) and leave you with a baby. Then you’ll be turned out of doors, +and wander up and down the streets. Now, don’t wander near me, my dear, +for I am resolved, to Put all wandering mothers Down. All young mothers, +of all sorts and kinds, it’s my determination to Put Down. Don’t think +to plead illness as an excuse with me; or babies as an excuse with me; +for all sick persons and young children (I hope you know the +church-service, but I’m afraid not) I am determined to Put Down. And if +you attempt, desperately, and ungratefully, and impiously, and +fraudulently attempt, to drown yourself, or hang yourself, I’ll have no +pity for you, for I have made up my mind to Put all suicide Down! If +there is one thing,’ said the Alderman, with his self-satisfied smile, +‘on which I can be said to have made up my mind more than on another, it +is to Put suicide Down. So don’t try it on. That’s the phrase, isn’t +it? Ha, ha! now we understand each other.’ + +Toby knew not whether to be agonised or glad, to see that Meg had turned +a deadly white, and dropped her lover’s hand. + +‘And as for you, you dull dog,’ said the Alderman, turning with even +increased cheerfulness and urbanity to the young smith, ‘what are you +thinking of being married for? What do you want to be married for, you +silly fellow? If I was a fine, young, strapping chap like you, I should +be ashamed of being milksop enough to pin myself to a woman’s +apron-strings! Why, she’ll be an old woman before you’re a middle-aged +man! And a pretty figure you’ll cut then, with a draggle-tailed wife and +a crowd of squalling children crying after you wherever you go!’ + +O, he knew how to banter the common people, Alderman Cute! + +‘There! Go along with you,’ said the Alderman, ‘and repent. Don’t make +such a fool of yourself as to get married on New Year’s Day. You’ll +think very differently of it, long before next New Year’s Day: a trim +young fellow like you, with all the girls looking after you. There! Go +along with you!’ + +They went along. Not arm in arm, or hand in hand, or interchanging +bright glances; but, she in tears; he, gloomy and down-looking. Were +these the hearts that had so lately made old Toby’s leap up from its +faintness? No, no. The Alderman (a blessing on his head!) had Put +_them_ Down. + +‘As you happen to be here,’ said the Alderman to Toby, ‘you shall carry a +letter for me. Can you be quick? You’re an old man.’ + +Toby, who had been looking after Meg, quite stupidly, made shift to +murmur out that he was very quick, and very strong. + +‘How old are you?’ inquired the Alderman. + +‘I’m over sixty, sir,’ said Toby. + +‘O! This man’s a great deal past the average age, you know,’ cried Mr. +Filer breaking in as if his patience would bear some trying, but this +really was carrying matters a little too far. + +‘I feel I’m intruding, sir,’ said Toby. ‘I—I misdoubted it this morning. +Oh dear me!’ + +The Alderman cut him short by giving him the letter from his pocket. +Toby would have got a shilling too; but Mr. Filer clearly showing that in +that case he would rob a certain given number of persons of +ninepence-halfpenny a-piece, he only got sixpence; and thought himself +very well off to get that. + +Then the Alderman gave an arm to each of his friends, and walked off in +high feather; but, he immediately came hurrying back alone, as if he had +forgotten something. + +‘Porter!’ said the Alderman. + +‘Sir!’ said Toby. + +‘Take care of that daughter of yours. She’s much too handsome.’ + +‘Even her good looks are stolen from somebody or other, I suppose,’ +thought Toby, looking at the sixpence in his hand, and thinking of the +tripe. ‘She’s been and robbed five hundred ladies of a bloom a-piece, I +shouldn’t wonder. It’s very dreadful!’ + +‘She’s much too handsome, my man,’ repeated the Alderman. ‘The chances +are, that she’ll come to no good, I clearly see. Observe what I say. +Take care of her!’ With which, he hurried off again. + +‘Wrong every way. Wrong every way!’ said Trotty, clasping his hands. +‘Born bad. No business here!’ + +The Chimes came clashing in upon him as he said the words. Full, loud, +and sounding—but with no encouragement. No, not a drop. + +‘The tune’s changed,’ cried the old man, as he listened. ‘There’s not a +word of all that fancy in it. Why should there be? I have no business +with the New Year nor with the old one neither. Let me die!’ + +Still the Bells, pealing forth their changes, made the very air spin. +Put ’em down, Put ’em down! Good old Times, Good old Times! Facts and +Figures, Facts and Figures! Put ’em down, Put ’em down! If they said +anything they said this, until the brain of Toby reeled. + +He pressed his bewildered head between his hands, as if to keep it from +splitting asunder. A well-timed action, as it happened; for finding the +letter in one of them, and being by that means reminded of his charge, he +fell, mechanically, into his usual trot, and trotted off. + + + + +CHAPTER II—The Second Quarter. + + +The letter Toby had received from Alderman Cute, was addressed to a great +man in the great district of the town. The greatest district of the +town. It must have been the greatest district of the town, because it +was commonly called ‘the world’ by its inhabitants. The letter +positively seemed heavier in Toby’s hand, than another letter. Not +because the Alderman had sealed it with a very large coat of arms and no +end of wax, but because of the weighty name on the superscription, and +the ponderous amount of gold and silver with which it was associated. + +‘How different from us!’ thought Toby, in all simplicity and earnestness, +as he looked at the direction. ‘Divide the lively turtles in the bills +of mortality, by the number of gentlefolks able to buy ’em; and whose +share does he take but his own! As to snatching tripe from anybody’s +mouth—he’d scorn it!’ + +With the involuntary homage due to such an exalted character, Toby +interposed a corner of his apron between the letter and his fingers. + +‘His children,’ said Trotty, and a mist rose before his eyes; ‘his +daughters—Gentlemen may win their hearts and marry them; they may be +happy wives and mothers; they may be handsome like my darling M-e-’. + +He couldn’t finish the name. The final letter swelled in his throat, to +the size of the whole alphabet. + +‘Never mind,’ thought Trotty. ‘I know what I mean. That’s more than +enough for me.’ And with this consolatory rumination, trotted on. + +It was a hard frost, that day. The air was bracing, crisp, and clear. +The wintry sun, though powerless for warmth, looked brightly down upon +the ice it was too weak to melt, and set a radiant glory there. At other +times, Trotty might have learned a poor man’s lesson from the wintry sun; +but, he was past that, now. + +The Year was Old, that day. The patient Year had lived through the +reproaches and misuses of its slanderers, and faithfully performed its +work. Spring, summer, autumn, winter. It had laboured through the +destined round, and now laid down its weary head to die. Shut out from +hope, high impulse, active happiness, itself, but active messenger of +many joys to others, it made appeal in its decline to have its toiling +days and patient hours remembered, and to die in peace. Trotty might +have read a poor man’s allegory in the fading year; but he was past that, +now. + +And only he? Or has the like appeal been ever made, by seventy years at +once upon an English labourer’s head, and made in vain! + +The streets were full of motion, and the shops were decked out gaily. +The New Year, like an Infant Heir to the whole world, was waited for, +with welcomes, presents, and rejoicings. There were books and toys for +the New Year, glittering trinkets for the New Year, dresses for the New +Year, schemes of fortune for the New Year; new inventions to beguile it. +Its life was parcelled out in almanacks and pocket-books; the coming of +its moons, and stars, and tides, was known beforehand to the moment; all +the workings of its seasons in their days and nights, were calculated +with as much precision as Mr. Filer could work sums in men and women. + +The New Year, the New Year. Everywhere the New Year! The Old Year was +already looked upon as dead; and its effects were selling cheap, like +some drowned mariner’s aboardship. Its patterns were Last Year’s, and +going at a sacrifice, before its breath was gone. Its treasures were +mere dirt, beside the riches of its unborn successor! + +Trotty had no portion, to his thinking, in the New Year or the Old. + +‘Put ’em down, Put ’em down! Facts and Figures, Facts and Figures! Good +old Times, Good old Times! Put ’em down, Put ’em down!’—his trot went to +that measure, and would fit itself to nothing else. + +But, even that one, melancholy as it was, brought him, in due time, to +the end of his journey. To the mansion of Sir Joseph Bowley, Member of +Parliament. + +The door was opened by a Porter. Such a Porter! Not of Toby’s order. +Quite another thing. His place was the ticket though; not Toby’s. + +This Porter underwent some hard panting before he could speak; having +breathed himself by coming incautiously out of his chair, without first +taking time to think about it and compose his mind. When he had found +his voice—which it took him a long time to do, for it was a long way off, +and hidden under a load of meat—he said in a fat whisper, + +‘Who’s it from?’ + +Toby told him. + +‘You’re to take it in, yourself,’ said the Porter, pointing to a room at +the end of a long passage, opening from the hall. ‘Everything goes +straight in, on this day of the year. You’re not a bit too soon; for the +carriage is at the door now, and they have only come to town for a couple +of hours, a’ purpose.’ + +Toby wiped his feet (which were quite dry already) with great care, and +took the way pointed out to him; observing as he went that it was an +awfully grand house, but hushed and covered up, as if the family were in +the country. Knocking at the room-door, he was told to enter from +within; and doing so found himself in a spacious library, where, at a +table strewn with files and papers, were a stately lady in a bonnet; and +a not very stately gentleman in black who wrote from her dictation; while +another, and an older, and a much statelier gentleman, whose hat and cane +were on the table, walked up and down, with one hand in his breast, and +looked complacently from time to time at his own picture—a full length; a +very full length—hanging over the fireplace. + +‘What is this?’ said the last-named gentleman. ‘Mr. Fish, will you have +the goodness to attend?’ + +Mr. Fish begged pardon, and taking the letter from Toby, handed it, with +great respect. + +‘From Alderman Cute, Sir Joseph.’ + +‘Is this all? Have you nothing else, Porter?’ inquired Sir Joseph. + +Toby replied in the negative. + +‘You have no bill or demand upon me—my name is Bowley, Sir Joseph +Bowley—of any kind from anybody, have you?’ said Sir Joseph. ‘If you +have, present it. There is a cheque-book by the side of Mr. Fish. I +allow nothing to be carried into the New Year. Every description of +account is settled in this house at the close of the old one. So that if +death was to—to—’ + +‘To cut,’ suggested Mr. Fish. + +‘To sever, sir,’ returned Sir Joseph, with great asperity, ‘the cord of +existence—my affairs would be found, I hope, in a state of preparation.’ + +‘My dear Sir Joseph!’ said the lady, who was greatly younger than the +gentleman. ‘How shocking!’ + +‘My lady Bowley,’ returned Sir Joseph, floundering now and then, as in +the great depth of his observations, ‘at this season of the year we +should think of—of—ourselves. We should look into our—our accounts. We +should feel that every return of so eventful a period in human +transactions, involves a matter of deep moment between a man and his—and +his banker.’ + +Sir Joseph delivered these words as if he felt the full morality of what +he was saying; and desired that even Trotty should have an opportunity of +being improved by such discourse. Possibly he had this end before him in +still forbearing to break the seal of the letter, and in telling Trotty +to wait where he was, a minute. + +‘You were desiring Mr. Fish to say, my lady—’ observed Sir Joseph. + +‘Mr. Fish has said that, I believe,’ returned his lady, glancing at the +letter. ‘But, upon my word, Sir Joseph, I don’t think I can let it go +after all. It is so very dear.’ + +‘What is dear?’ inquired Sir Joseph. + +‘That Charity, my love. They only allow two votes for a subscription of +five pounds. Really monstrous!’ + +‘My lady Bowley,’ returned Sir Joseph, ‘you surprise me. Is the luxury +of feeling in proportion to the number of votes; or is it, to a rightly +constituted mind, in proportion to the number of applicants, and the +wholesome state of mind to which their canvassing reduces them? Is there +no excitement of the purest kind in having two votes to dispose of among +fifty people?’ + +‘Not to me, I acknowledge,’ replied the lady. ‘It bores one. Besides, +one can’t oblige one’s acquaintance. But you are the Poor Man’s Friend, +you know, Sir Joseph. You think otherwise.’ + +‘I _am_ the Poor Man’s Friend,’ observed Sir Joseph, glancing at the poor +man present. ‘As such I may be taunted. As such I have been taunted. +But I ask no other title.’ + +‘Bless him for a noble gentleman!’ thought Trotty. + +‘I don’t agree with Cute here, for instance,’ said Sir Joseph, holding +out the letter. ‘I don’t agree with the Filer party. I don’t agree with +any party. My friend the Poor Man, has no business with anything of that +sort, and nothing of that sort has any business with him. My friend the +Poor Man, in my district, is my business. No man or body of men has any +right to interfere between my friend and me. That is the ground I take. +I assume a—a paternal character towards my friend. I say, “My good +fellow, I will treat you paternally.”’ + +Toby listened with great gravity, and began to feel more comfortable. + +‘Your only business, my good fellow,’ pursued Sir Joseph, looking +abstractedly at Toby; ‘your only business in life is with me. You +needn’t trouble yourself to think about anything. I will think for you; +I know what is good for you; I am your perpetual parent. Such is the +dispensation of an all-wise Providence! Now, the design of your creation +is—not that you should swill, and guzzle, and associate your enjoyments, +brutally, with food; Toby thought remorsefully of the tripe; ‘but that +you should feel the Dignity of Labour. Go forth erect into the cheerful +morning air, and—and stop there. Live hard and temperately, be +respectful, exercise your self-denial, bring up your family on next to +nothing, pay your rent as regularly as the clock strikes, be punctual in +your dealings (I set you a good example; you will find Mr. Fish, my +confidential secretary, with a cash-box before him at all times); and you +may trust to me to be your Friend and Father.’ + +‘Nice children, indeed, Sir Joseph!’ said the lady, with a shudder. +‘Rheumatisms, and fevers, and crooked legs, and asthmas, and all kinds of +horrors!’ + +‘My lady,’ returned Sir Joseph, with solemnity, ‘not the less am I the +Poor Man’s Friend and Father. Not the less shall he receive +encouragement at my hands. Every quarter-day he will be put in +communication with Mr. Fish. Every New Year’s Day, myself and friends +will drink his health. Once every year, myself and friends will address +him with the deepest feeling. Once in his life, he may even perhaps +receive; in public, in the presence of the gentry; a Trifle from a +Friend. And when, upheld no more by these stimulants, and the Dignity of +Labour, he sinks into his comfortable grave, then, my lady’—here Sir +Joseph blew his nose—‘I will be a Friend and a Father—on the same +terms—to his children.’ + +Toby was greatly moved. + +‘O! You have a thankful family, Sir Joseph!’ cried his wife. + +‘My lady,’ said Sir Joseph, quite majestically, ‘Ingratitude is known to +be the sin of that class. I expect no other return.’ + +‘Ah! Born bad!’ thought Toby. ‘Nothing melts us.’ + +‘What man can do, _I_ do,’ pursued Sir Joseph. ‘I do my duty as the Poor +Man’s Friend and Father; and I endeavour to educate his mind, by +inculcating on all occasions the one great moral lesson which that class +requires. That is, entire Dependence on myself. They have no business +whatever with—with themselves. If wicked and designing persons tell them +otherwise, and they become impatient and discontented, and are guilty of +insubordinate conduct and black-hearted ingratitude; which is undoubtedly +the case; I am their Friend and Father still. It is so Ordained. It is +in the nature of things.’ + +With that great sentiment, he opened the Alderman’s letter; and read it. + +‘Very polite and attentive, I am sure!’ exclaimed Sir Joseph. ‘My lady, +the Alderman is so obliging as to remind me that he has had “the +distinguished honour”—he is very good—of meeting me at the house of our +mutual friend Deedles, the banker; and he does me the favour to inquire +whether it will be agreeable to me to have Will Fern put down.’ + +‘_Most_ agreeable!’ replied my Lady Bowley. ‘The worst man among them! +He has been committing a robbery, I hope?’ + +‘Why no,’ said Sir Joseph’, referring to the letter. ‘Not quite. Very +near. Not quite. He came up to London, it seems, to look for employment +(trying to better himself—that’s his story), and being found at night +asleep in a shed, was taken into custody, and carried next morning before +the Alderman. The Alderman observes (very properly) that he is +determined to put this sort of thing down; and that if it will be +agreeable to me to have Will Fern put down, he will be happy to begin +with him.’ + +‘Let him be made an example of, by all means,’ returned the lady. ‘Last +winter, when I introduced pinking and eyelet-holing among the men and +boys in the village, as a nice evening employment, and had the lines, + + O let us love our occupations, + Bless the squire and his relations, + Live upon our daily rations, + And always know our proper stations, + +set to music on the new system, for them to sing the while; this very +Fern—I see him now—touched that hat of his, and said, “I humbly ask your +pardon, my lady, but _an’t_ I something different from a great girl?” I +expected it, of course; who can expect anything but insolence and +ingratitude from that class of people! That is not to the purpose, +however. Sir Joseph! Make an example of him!’ + +‘Hem!’ coughed Sir Joseph. ‘Mr. Fish, if you’ll have the goodness to +attend—’ + +Mr. Fish immediately seized his pen, and wrote from Sir Joseph’s +dictation. + +‘Private. My dear Sir. I am very much indebted to you for your courtesy +in the matter of the man William Fern, of whom, I regret to add, I can +say nothing favourable. I have uniformly considered myself in the light +of his Friend and Father, but have been repaid (a common case, I grieve +to say) with ingratitude, and constant opposition to my plans. He is a +turbulent and rebellious spirit. His character will not bear +investigation. Nothing will persuade him to be happy when he might. +Under these circumstances, it appears to me, I own, that when he comes +before you again (as you informed me he promised to do to-morrow, pending +your inquiries, and I think he may be so far relied upon), his committal +for some short term as a Vagabond, would be a service to society, and +would be a salutary example in a country where—for the sake of those who +are, through good and evil report, the Friends and Fathers of the Poor, +as well as with a view to that, generally speaking, misguided class +themselves—examples are greatly needed. And I am,’ and so forth. + +‘It appears,’ remarked Sir Joseph when he had signed this letter, and Mr. +Fish was sealing it, ‘as if this were Ordained: really. At the close of +the year, I wind up my account and strike my balance, even with William +Fern!’ + +Trotty, who had long ago relapsed, and was very low-spirited, stepped +forward with a rueful face to take the letter. + +‘With my compliments and thanks,’ said Sir Joseph. ‘Stop!’ + +‘Stop!’ echoed Mr. Fish. + +‘You have heard, perhaps,’ said Sir Joseph, oracularly, ‘certain remarks +into which I have been led respecting the solemn period of time at which +we have arrived, and the duty imposed upon us of settling our affairs, +and being prepared. You have observed that I don’t shelter myself behind +my superior standing in society, but that Mr. Fish—that gentleman—has a +cheque-book at his elbow, and is in fact here, to enable me to turn over +a perfectly new leaf, and enter on the epoch before us with a clean +account. Now, my friend, can you lay your hand upon your heart, and say, +that you also have made preparations for a New Year?’ + +‘I am afraid, sir,’ stammered Trotty, looking meekly at him, ‘that I am +a—a—little behind-hand with the world.’ + +‘Behind-hand with the world!’ repeated Sir Joseph Bowley, in a tone of +terrible distinctness. + +‘I am afraid, sir,’ faltered Trotty, ‘that there’s a matter of ten or +twelve shillings owing to Mrs. Chickenstalker.’ + +‘To Mrs. Chickenstalker!’ repeated Sir Joseph, in the same tone as +before. + +‘A shop, sir,’ exclaimed Toby, ‘in the general line. Also a—a little +money on account of rent. A very little, sir. It oughtn’t to be owing, +I know, but we have been hard put to it, indeed!’ + +Sir Joseph looked at his lady, and at Mr. Fish, and at Trotty, one after +another, twice all round. He then made a despondent gesture with both +hands at once, as if he gave the thing up altogether. + +‘How a man, even among this improvident and impracticable race; an old +man; a man grown grey; can look a New Year in the face, with his affairs +in this condition; how he can lie down on his bed at night, and get up +again in the morning, and—There!’ he said, turning his back on Trotty. +‘Take the letter. Take the letter!’ + +‘I heartily wish it was otherwise, sir,’ said Trotty, anxious to excuse +himself. ‘We have been tried very hard.’ + +Sir Joseph still repeating ‘Take the letter, take the letter!’ and Mr. +Fish not only saying the same thing, but giving additional force to the +request by motioning the bearer to the door, he had nothing for it but to +make his bow and leave the house. And in the street, poor Trotty pulled +his worn old hat down on his head, to hide the grief he felt at getting +no hold on the New Year, anywhere. + +He didn’t even lift his hat to look up at the Bell tower when he came to +the old church on his return. He halted there a moment, from habit: and +knew that it was growing dark, and that the steeple rose above him, +indistinct and faint, in the murky air. He knew, too, that the Chimes +would ring immediately; and that they sounded to his fancy, at such a +time, like voices in the clouds. But he only made the more haste to +deliver the Alderman’s letter, and get out of the way before they began; +for he dreaded to hear them tagging ‘Friends and Fathers, Friends and +Fathers,’ to the burden they had rung out last. + +Toby discharged himself of his commission, therefore, with all possible +speed, and set off trotting homeward. But what with his pace, which was +at best an awkward one in the street; and what with his hat, which didn’t +improve it; he trotted against somebody in less than no time, and was +sent staggering out into the road. + +‘I beg your pardon, I’m sure!’ said Trotty, pulling up his hat in great +confusion, and between the hat and the torn lining, fixing his head into +a kind of bee-hive. ‘I hope I haven’t hurt you.’ + +As to hurting anybody, Toby was not such an absolute Samson, but that he +was much more likely to be hurt himself: and indeed, he had flown out +into the road, like a shuttlecock. He had such an opinion of his own +strength, however, that he was in real concern for the other party: and +said again, + +‘I hope I haven’t hurt you?’ + +The man against whom he had run; a sun-browned, sinewy, country-looking +man, with grizzled hair, and a rough chin; stared at him for a moment, as +if he suspected him to be in jest. But, satisfied of his good faith, he +answered: + +‘No, friend. You have not hurt me.’ + +‘Nor the child, I hope?’ said Trotty. + +‘Nor the child,’ returned the man. ‘I thank you kindly.’ + +As he said so, he glanced at a little girl he carried in his arms, +asleep: and shading her face with the long end of the poor handkerchief +he wore about his throat, went slowly on. + +The tone in which he said ‘I thank you kindly,’ penetrated Trotty’s +heart. He was so jaded and foot-sore, and so soiled with travel, and +looked about him so forlorn and strange, that it was a comfort to him to +be able to thank any one: no matter for how little. Toby stood gazing +after him as he plodded wearily away, with the child’s arm clinging round +his neck. + +At the figure in the worn shoes—now the very shade and ghost of +shoes—rough leather leggings, common frock, and broad slouched hat, +Trotty stood gazing, blind to the whole street. And at the child’s arm, +clinging round its neck. + +Before he merged into the darkness the traveller stopped; and looking +round, and seeing Trotty standing there yet, seemed undecided whether to +return or go on. After doing first the one and then the other, he came +back, and Trotty went half-way to meet him. + +‘You can tell me, perhaps,’ said the man with a faint smile, ‘and if you +can I am sure you will, and I’d rather ask you than another—where +Alderman Cute lives.’ + +‘Close at hand,’ replied Toby. ‘I’ll show you his house with pleasure.’ + +‘I was to have gone to him elsewhere to-morrow,’ said the man, +accompanying Toby, ‘but I’m uneasy under suspicion, and want to clear +myself, and to be free to go and seek my bread—I don’t know where. So, +maybe he’ll forgive my going to his house to-night.’ + +‘It’s impossible,’ cried Toby with a start, ‘that your name’s Fern!’ + +‘Eh!’ cried the other, turning on him in astonishment. + +‘Fern! Will Fern!’ said Trotty. + +‘That’s my name,’ replied the other. + +‘Why then,’ said Trotty, seizing him by the arm, and looking cautiously +round, ‘for Heaven’s sake don’t go to him! Don’t go to him! He’ll put +you down as sure as ever you were born. Here! come up this alley, and +I’ll tell you what I mean. Don’t go to _him_.’ + +His new acquaintance looked as if he thought him mad; but he bore him +company nevertheless. When they were shrouded from observation, Trotty +told him what he knew, and what character he had received, and all about +it. + +The subject of his history listened to it with a calmness that surprised +him. He did not contradict or interrupt it, once. He nodded his head +now and then—more in corroboration of an old and worn-out story, it +appeared, than in refutation of it; and once or twice threw back his hat, +and passed his freckled hand over a brow, where every furrow he had +ploughed seemed to have set its image in little. But he did no more. + +‘It’s true enough in the main,’ he said, ‘master, I could sift grain from +husk here and there, but let it be as ’tis. What odds? I have gone +against his plans; to my misfortun’. I can’t help it; I should do the +like to-morrow. As to character, them gentlefolks will search and +search, and pry and pry, and have it as free from spot or speck in us, +afore they’ll help us to a dry good word!—Well! I hope they don’t lose +good opinion as easy as we do, or their lives is strict indeed, and +hardly worth the keeping. For myself, master, I never took with that +hand’—holding it before him—‘what wasn’t my own; and never held it back +from work, however hard, or poorly paid. Whoever can deny it, let him +chop it off! But when work won’t maintain me like a human creetur; when +my living is so bad, that I am Hungry, out of doors and in; when I see a +whole working life begin that way, go on that way, and end that way, +without a chance or change; then I say to the gentlefolks “Keep away from +me! Let my cottage be. My doors is dark enough without your darkening +of ’em more. Don’t look for me to come up into the Park to help the show +when there’s a Birthday, or a fine Speechmaking, or what not. Act your +Plays and Games without me, and be welcome to ’em, and enjoy ’em. We’ve +nowt to do with one another. I’m best let alone!”’ + +Seeing that the child in his arms had opened her eyes, and was looking +about her in wonder, he checked himself to say a word or two of foolish +prattle in her ear, and stand her on the ground beside him. Then slowly +winding one of her long tresses round and round his rough forefinger like +a ring, while she hung about his dusty leg, he said to Trotty: + +‘I’m not a cross-grained man by natu’, I believe; and easy satisfied, I’m +sure. I bear no ill-will against none of ’em. I only want to live like +one of the Almighty’s creeturs. I can’t—I don’t—and so there’s a pit dug +between me, and them that can and do. There’s others like me. You might +tell ’em off by hundreds and by thousands, sooner than by ones.’ + +Trotty knew he spoke the Truth in this, and shook his head to signify as +much. + +‘I’ve got a bad name this way,’ said Fern; ‘and I’m not likely, I’m +afeared, to get a better. ’Tan’t lawful to be out of sorts, and I AM out +of sorts, though God knows I’d sooner bear a cheerful spirit if I could. +Well! I don’t know as this Alderman could hurt _me_ much by sending me +to jail; but without a friend to speak a word for me, he might do it; and +you see—!’ pointing downward with his finger, at the child. + +‘She has a beautiful face,’ said Trotty. + +‘Why yes!’ replied the other in a low voice, as he gently turned it up +with both his hands towards his own, and looked upon it steadfastly. +‘I’ve thought so, many times. I’ve thought so, when my hearth was very +cold, and cupboard very bare. I thought so t’other night, when we were +taken like two thieves. But they—they shouldn’t try the little face too +often, should they, Lilian? That’s hardly fair upon a man!’ + +He sunk his voice so low, and gazed upon her with an air so stern and +strange, that Toby, to divert the current of his thoughts, inquired if +his wife were living. + +‘I never had one,’ he returned, shaking his head. ‘She’s my brother’s +child: a orphan. Nine year old, though you’d hardly think it; but she’s +tired and worn out now. They’d have taken care on her, the +Union—eight-and-twenty mile away from where we live—between four walls +(as they took care of my old father when he couldn’t work no more, though +he didn’t trouble ’em long); but I took her instead, and she’s lived with +me ever since. Her mother had a friend once, in London here. We are +trying to find her, and to find work too; but it’s a large place. Never +mind. More room for us to walk about in, Lilly!’ + +Meeting the child’s eyes with a smile which melted Toby more than tears, +he shook him by the hand. + +‘I don’t so much as know your name,’ he said, ‘but I’ve opened my heart +free to you, for I’m thankful to you; with good reason. I’ll take your +advice, and keep clear of this—’ + +‘Justice,’ suggested Toby. + +‘Ah!’ he said. ‘If that’s the name they give him. This Justice. And +to-morrow will try whether there’s better fortun’ to be met with, +somewheres near London. Good night. A Happy New Year!’ + +‘Stay!’ cried Trotty, catching at his hand, as he relaxed his grip. +‘Stay! The New Year never can be happy to me, if we part like this. The +New Year never can be happy to me, if I see the child and you go +wandering away, you don’t know where, without a shelter for your heads. +Come home with me! I’m a poor man, living in a poor place; but I can +give you lodging for one night and never miss it. Come home with me! +Here! I’ll take her!’ cried Trotty, lifting up the child. ‘A pretty +one! I’d carry twenty times her weight, and never know I’d got it. Tell +me if I go too quick for you. I’m very fast. I always was!’ Trotty +said this, taking about six of his trotting paces to one stride of his +fatigued companion; and with his thin legs quivering again, beneath the +load he bore. + +‘Why, she’s as light,’ said Trotty, trotting in his speech as well as in +his gait; for he couldn’t bear to be thanked, and dreaded a moment’s +pause; ‘as light as a feather. Lighter than a Peacock’s feather—a great +deal lighter. Here we are and here we go! Round this first turning to +the right, Uncle Will, and past the pump, and sharp off up the passage to +the left, right opposite the public-house. Here we are and here we go! +Cross over, Uncle Will, and mind the kidney pieman at the corner! Here +we are and here we go! Down the Mews here, Uncle Will, and stop at the +black door, with “T. Veck, Ticket Porter,” wrote upon a board; and here +we are and here we go, and here we are indeed, my precious. Meg, +surprising you!’ + +With which words Trotty, in a breathless state, set the child down before +his daughter in the middle of the floor. The little visitor looked once +at Meg; and doubting nothing in that face, but trusting everything she +saw there; ran into her arms. + +‘Here we are and here we go!’ cried Trotty, running round the room, and +choking audibly. ‘Here, Uncle Will, here’s a fire you know! Why don’t +you come to the fire? Oh here we are and here we go! Meg, my precious +darling, where’s the kettle? Here it is and here it goes, and it’ll bile +in no time!’ + +Trotty really had picked up the kettle somewhere or other in the course +of his wild career and now put it on the fire: while Meg, seating the +child in a warm corner, knelt down on the ground before her, and pulled +off her shoes, and dried her wet feet on a cloth. Ay, and she laughed at +Trotty too—so pleasantly, so cheerfully, that Trotty could have blessed +her where she kneeled; for he had seen that, when they entered, she was +sitting by the fire in tears. + +‘Why, father!’ said Meg. ‘You’re crazy to-night, I think. I don’t know +what the Bells would say to that. Poor little feet. How cold they are!’ + +‘Oh, they’re warmer now!’ exclaimed the child. ‘They’re quite warm now!’ + +‘No, no, no,’ said Meg. ‘We haven’t rubbed ’em half enough. We’re so +busy. So busy! And when they’re done, we’ll brush out the damp hair; +and when that’s done, we’ll bring some colour to the poor pale face with +fresh water; and when that’s done, we’ll be so gay, and brisk, and +happy—!’ + +The child, in a burst of sobbing, clasped her round the neck; caressed +her fair cheek with its hand; and said, ‘Oh Meg! oh dear Meg!’ + +Toby’s blessing could have done no more. Who could do more! + +‘Why, father!’ cried Meg, after a pause. + +‘Here I am and here I go, my dear!’ said Trotty. + +‘Good Gracious me!’ cried Meg. ‘He’s crazy! He’s put the dear child’s +bonnet on the kettle, and hung the lid behind the door!’ + +‘I didn’t go for to do it, my love,’ said Trotty, hastily repairing this +mistake. ‘Meg, my dear?’ + +Meg looked towards him and saw that he had elaborately stationed himself +behind the chair of their male visitor, where with many mysterious +gestures he was holding up the sixpence he had earned. + +‘I see, my dear,’ said Trotty, ‘as I was coming in, half an ounce of tea +lying somewhere on the stairs; and I’m pretty sure there was a bit of +bacon too. As I don’t remember where it was exactly, I’ll go myself and +try to find ’em.’ + +With this inscrutable artifice, Toby withdrew to purchase the viands he +had spoken of, for ready money, at Mrs. Chickenstalker’s; and presently +came back, pretending he had not been able to find them, at first, in the +dark. + +‘But here they are at last,’ said Trotty, setting out the tea-things, +‘all correct! I was pretty sure it was tea, and a rasher. So it is. +Meg, my pet, if you’ll just make the tea, while your unworthy father +toasts the bacon, we shall be ready, immediate. It’s a curious +circumstance,’ said Trotty, proceeding in his cookery, with the +assistance of the toasting-fork, ‘curious, but well known to my friends, +that I never care, myself, for rashers, nor for tea. I like to see other +people enjoy ’em,’ said Trotty, speaking very loud, to impress the fact +upon his guest, ‘but to me, as food, they’re disagreeable.’ + +Yet Trotty sniffed the savour of the hissing bacon—ah!—as if he liked it; +and when he poured the boiling water in the tea-pot, looked lovingly down +into the depths of that snug cauldron, and suffered the fragrant steam to +curl about his nose, and wreathe his head and face in a thick cloud. +However, for all this, he neither ate nor drank, except at the very +beginning, a mere morsel for form’s sake, which he appeared to eat with +infinite relish, but declared was perfectly uninteresting to him. + +No. Trotty’s occupation was, to see Will Fern and Lilian eat and drink; +and so was Meg’s. And never did spectators at a city dinner or court +banquet find such high delight in seeing others feast: although it were a +monarch or a pope: as those two did, in looking on that night. Meg +smiled at Trotty, Trotty laughed at Meg. Meg shook her head, and made +belief to clap her hands, applauding Trotty; Trotty conveyed, in +dumb-show, unintelligible narratives of how and when and where he had +found their visitors, to Meg; and they were happy. Very happy. + +‘Although,’ thought Trotty, sorrowfully, as he watched Meg’s face; ‘that +match is broken off, I see!’ + +‘Now, I’ll tell you what,’ said Trotty after tea. ‘The little one, she +sleeps with Meg, I know.’ + +‘With good Meg!’ cried the child, caressing her. ‘With Meg.’ + +‘That’s right,’ said Trotty. ‘And I shouldn’t wonder if she kiss Meg’s +father, won’t she? _I’m_ Meg’s father.’ + +Mightily delighted Trotty was, when the child went timidly towards him, +and having kissed him, fell back upon Meg again. + +‘She’s as sensible as Solomon,’ said Trotty. ‘Here we come and here +we—no, we don’t—I don’t mean that—I—what was I saying, Meg, my precious?’ + +Meg looked towards their guest, who leaned upon her chair, and with his +face turned from her, fondled the child’s head, half hidden in her lap. + +‘To be sure,’ said Toby. ‘To be sure! I don’t know what I’m rambling on +about, to-night. My wits are wool-gathering, I think. Will Fern, you +come along with me. You’re tired to death, and broken down for want of +rest. You come along with me.’ The man still played with the child’s +curls, still leaned upon Meg’s chair, still turned away his face. He +didn’t speak, but in his rough coarse fingers, clenching and expanding in +the fair hair of the child, there was an eloquence that said enough. + +‘Yes, yes,’ said Trotty, answering unconsciously what he saw expressed in +his daughter’s face. ‘Take her with you, Meg. Get her to bed. There! +Now, Will, I’ll show you where you lie. It’s not much of a place: only a +loft; but, having a loft, I always say, is one of the great conveniences +of living in a mews; and till this coach-house and stable gets a better +let, we live here cheap. There’s plenty of sweet hay up there, belonging +to a neighbour; and it’s as clean as hands, and Meg, can make it. Cheer +up! Don’t give way. A new heart for a New Year, always!’ + +The hand released from the child’s hair, had fallen, trembling, into +Trotty’s hand. So Trotty, talking without intermission, led him out as +tenderly and easily as if he had been a child himself. Returning before +Meg, he listened for an instant at the door of her little chamber; an +adjoining room. The child was murmuring a simple Prayer before lying +down to sleep; and when she had remembered Meg’s name, ‘Dearly, +Dearly’—so her words ran—Trotty heard her stop and ask for his. + +It was some short time before the foolish little old fellow could compose +himself to mend the fire, and draw his chair to the warm hearth. But, +when he had done so, and had trimmed the light, he took his newspaper +from his pocket, and began to read. Carelessly at first, and skimming up +and down the columns; but with an earnest and a sad attention, very soon. + +For this same dreaded paper re-directed Trotty’s thoughts into the +channel they had taken all that day, and which the day’s events had so +marked out and shaped. His interest in the two wanderers had set him on +another course of thinking, and a happier one, for the time; but being +alone again, and reading of the crimes and violences of the people, he +relapsed into his former train. + +In this mood, he came to an account (and it was not the first he had ever +read) of a woman who had laid her desperate hands not only on her own +life but on that of her young child. A crime so terrible, and so +revolting to his soul, dilated with the love of Meg, that he let the +journal drop, and fell back in his chair, appalled! + +‘Unnatural and cruel!’ Toby cried. ‘Unnatural and cruel! None but +people who were bad at heart, born bad, who had no business on the earth, +could do such deeds. It’s too true, all I’ve heard to-day; too just, too +full of proof. We’re Bad!’ + +The Chimes took up the words so suddenly—burst out so loud, and clear, +and sonorous—that the Bells seemed to strike him in his chair. + +And what was that, they said? + +‘Toby Veck, Toby Veck, waiting for you Toby! Toby Veck, Toby Veck, +waiting for you Toby! Come and see us, come and see us, Drag him to us, +drag him to us, Haunt and hunt him, haunt and hunt him, Break his +slumbers, break his slumbers! Toby Veck Toby Veck, door open wide Toby, +Toby Veck Toby Veck, door open wide Toby—’ then fiercely back to their +impetuous strain again, and ringing in the very bricks and plaster on the +walls. + +Toby listened. Fancy, fancy! His remorse for having run away from them +that afternoon! No, no. Nothing of the kind. Again, again, and yet a +dozen times again. ‘Haunt and hunt him, haunt and hunt him, Drag him to +us, drag him to us!’ Deafening the whole town! + +‘Meg,’ said Trotty softly: tapping at her door. ‘Do you hear anything?’ + +‘I hear the Bells, father. Surely they’re very loud to-night.’ + +‘Is she asleep?’ said Toby, making an excuse for peeping in. + +‘So peacefully and happily! I can’t leave her yet though, father. Look +how she holds my hand!’ + +‘Meg,’ whispered Trotty. ‘Listen to the Bells!’ + +She listened, with her face towards him all the time. But it underwent +no change. She didn’t understand them. + +Trotty withdrew, resumed his seat by the fire, and once more listened by +himself. He remained here a little time. + +It was impossible to bear it; their energy was dreadful. + +‘If the tower-door is really open,’ said Toby, hastily laying aside his +apron, but never thinking of his hat, ‘what’s to hinder me from going up +into the steeple and satisfying myself? If it’s shut, I don’t want any +other satisfaction. That’s enough.’ + +He was pretty certain as he slipped out quietly into the street that he +should find it shut and locked, for he knew the door well, and had so +rarely seen it open, that he couldn’t reckon above three times in all. +It was a low arched portal, outside the church, in a dark nook behind a +column; and had such great iron hinges, and such a monstrous lock, that +there was more hinge and lock than door. + +But what was his astonishment when, coming bare-headed to the church; and +putting his hand into this dark nook, with a certain misgiving that it +might be unexpectedly seized, and a shivering propensity to draw it back +again; he found that the door, which opened outwards, actually stood +ajar! + +He thought, on the first surprise, of going back; or of getting a light, +or a companion, but his courage aided him immediately, and he determined +to ascend alone. + +‘What have I to fear?’ said Trotty. ‘It’s a church! Besides, the +ringers may be there, and have forgotten to shut the door.’ So he went +in, feeling his way as he went, like a blind man; for it was very dark. +And very quiet, for the Chimes were silent. + +The dust from the street had blown into the recess; and lying there, +heaped up, made it so soft and velvet-like to the foot, that there was +something startling, even in that. The narrow stair was so close to the +door, too, that he stumbled at the very first; and shutting the door upon +himself, by striking it with his foot, and causing it to rebound back +heavily, he couldn’t open it again. + +This was another reason, however, for going on. Trotty groped his way, +and went on. Up, up, up, and round, and round; and up, up, up; higher, +higher, higher up! + +It was a disagreeable staircase for that groping work; so low and narrow, +that his groping hand was always touching something; and it often felt so +like a man or ghostly figure standing up erect and making room for him to +pass without discovery, that he would rub the smooth wall upward +searching for its face, and downward searching for its feet, while a +chill tingling crept all over him. Twice or thrice, a door or niche +broke the monotonous surface; and then it seemed a gap as wide as the +whole church; and he felt on the brink of an abyss, and going to tumble +headlong down, until he found the wall again. + +Still up, up, up; and round and round; and up, up, up; higher, higher, +higher up! + +At length, the dull and stifling atmosphere began to freshen: presently +to feel quite windy: presently it blew so strong, that he could hardly +keep his legs. But, he got to an arched window in the tower, breast +high, and holding tight, looked down upon the house-tops, on the smoking +chimneys, on the blur and blotch of lights (towards the place where Meg +was wondering where he was and calling to him perhaps), all kneaded up +together in a leaven of mist and darkness. + +This was the belfry, where the ringers came. He had caught hold of one +of the frayed ropes which hung down through apertures in the oaken roof. +At first he started, thinking it was hair; then trembled at the very +thought of waking the deep Bell. The Bells themselves were higher. +Higher, Trotty, in his fascination, or in working out the spell upon him, +groped his way. By ladders now, and toilsomely, for it was steep, and +not too certain holding for the feet. + +Up, up, up; and climb and clamber; up, up, up; higher, higher, higher up! + +Until, ascending through the floor, and pausing with his head just raised +above its beams, he came among the Bells. It was barely possible to make +out their great shapes in the gloom; but there they were. Shadowy, and +dark, and dumb. + +A heavy sense of dread and loneliness fell instantly upon him, as he +climbed into this airy nest of stone and metal. His head went round and +round. He listened, and then raised a wild ‘Holloa!’ Holloa! was +mournfully protracted by the echoes. + +Giddy, confused, and out of breath, and frightened, Toby looked about him +vacantly, and sunk down in a swoon. + + + + +CHAPTER III—Third Quarter. + + +Black are the brooding clouds and troubled the deep waters, when the Sea +of Thought, first heaving from a calm, gives up its Dead. Monsters +uncouth and wild, arise in premature, imperfect resurrection; the several +parts and shapes of different things are joined and mixed by chance; and +when, and how, and by what wonderful degrees, each separates from each, +and every sense and object of the mind resumes its usual form and lives +again, no man—though every man is every day the casket of this type of +the Great Mystery—can tell. + +So, when and how the darkness of the night-black steeple changed to +shining light; when and how the solitary tower was peopled with a myriad +figures; when and how the whispered ‘Haunt and hunt him,’ breathing +monotonously through his sleep or swoon, became a voice exclaiming in the +waking ears of Trotty, ‘Break his slumbers;’ when and how he ceased to +have a sluggish and confused idea that such things were, companioning a +host of others that were not; there are no dates or means to tell. But, +awake and standing on his feet upon the boards where he had lately lain, +he saw this Goblin Sight. + +He saw the tower, whither his charmed footsteps had brought him, swarming +with dwarf phantoms, spirits, elfin creatures of the Bells. He saw them +leaping, flying, dropping, pouring from the Bells without a pause. He +saw them, round him on the ground; above him, in the air; clambering from +him, by the ropes below; looking down upon him, from the massive +iron-girded beams; peeping in upon him, through the chinks and loopholes +in the walls; spreading away and away from him in enlarging circles, as +the water ripples give way to a huge stone that suddenly comes plashing +in among them. He saw them, of all aspects and all shapes. He saw them +ugly, handsome, crippled, exquisitely formed. He saw them young, he saw +them old, he saw them kind, he saw them cruel, he saw them merry, he saw +them grim; he saw them dance, and heard them sing; he saw them tear their +hair, and heard them howl. He saw the air thick with them. He saw them +come and go, incessantly. He saw them riding downward, soaring upward, +sailing off afar, perching near at hand, all restless and all violently +active. Stone, and brick, and slate, and tile, became transparent to him +as to them. He saw them _in_ the houses, busy at the sleepers’ beds. He +saw them soothing people in their dreams; he saw them beating them with +knotted whips; he saw them yelling in their ears; he saw them playing +softest music on their pillows; he saw them cheering some with the songs +of birds and the perfume of flowers; he saw them flashing awful faces on +the troubled rest of others, from enchanted mirrors which they carried in +their hands. + +He saw these creatures, not only among sleeping men but waking also, +active in pursuits irreconcilable with one another, and possessing or +assuming natures the most opposite. He saw one buckling on innumerable +wings to increase his speed; another loading himself with chains and +weights, to retard his. He saw some putting the hands of clocks forward, +some putting the hands of clocks backward, some endeavouring to stop the +clock entirely. He saw them representing, here a marriage ceremony, +there a funeral; in this chamber an election, in that a ball he saw, +everywhere, restless and untiring motion. + +Bewildered by the host of shifting and extraordinary figures, as well as +by the uproar of the Bells, which all this while were ringing, Trotty +clung to a wooden pillar for support, and turned his white face here and +there, in mute and stunned astonishment. + +As he gazed, the Chimes stopped. Instantaneous change! The whole swarm +fainted! their forms collapsed, their speed deserted them; they sought to +fly, but in the act of falling died and melted into air. No fresh supply +succeeded them. One straggler leaped down pretty briskly from the +surface of the Great Bell, and alighted on his feet, but he was dead and +gone before he could turn round. Some few of the late company who had +gambolled in the tower, remained there, spinning over and over a little +longer; but these became at every turn more faint, and few, and feeble, +and soon went the way of the rest. The last of all was one small +hunchback, who had got into an echoing corner, where he twirled and +twirled, and floated by himself a long time; showing such perseverance, +that at last he dwindled to a leg and even to a foot, before he finally +retired; but he vanished in the end, and then the tower was silent. + +Then and not before, did Trotty see in every Bell a bearded figure of the +bulk and stature of the Bell—incomprehensibly, a figure and the Bell +itself. Gigantic, grave, and darkly watchful of him, as he stood rooted +to the ground. + +Mysterious and awful figures! Resting on nothing; poised in the night +air of the tower, with their draped and hooded heads merged in the dim +roof; motionless and shadowy. Shadowy and dark, although he saw them by +some light belonging to themselves—none else was there—each with its +muffled hand upon its goblin mouth. + +He could not plunge down wildly through the opening in the floor; for all +power of motion had deserted him. Otherwise he would have done so—aye, +would have thrown himself, headforemost, from the steeple-top, rather +than have seen them watching him with eyes that would have waked and +watched although the pupils had been taken out. + +Again, again, the dread and terror of the lonely place, and of the wild +and fearful night that reigned there, touched him like a spectral hand. +His distance from all help; the long, dark, winding, ghost-beleaguered +way that lay between him and the earth on which men lived; his being +high, high, high, up there, where it had made him dizzy to see the birds +fly in the day; cut off from all good people, who at such an hour were +safe at home and sleeping in their beds; all this struck coldly through +him, not as a reflection but a bodily sensation. Meantime his eyes and +thoughts and fears, were fixed upon the watchful figures; which, rendered +unlike any figures of this world by the deep gloom and shade enwrapping +and enfolding them, as well as by their looks and forms and supernatural +hovering above the floor, were nevertheless as plainly to be seen as were +the stalwart oaken frames, cross-pieces, bars and beams, set up there to +support the Bells. These hemmed them, in a very forest of hewn timber; +from the entanglements, intricacies, and depths of which, as from among +the boughs of a dead wood blighted for their phantom use, they kept their +darksome and unwinking watch. + +A blast of air—how cold and shrill!—came moaning through the tower. As +it died away, the Great Bell, or the Goblin of the Great Bell, spoke. + +‘What visitor is this!’ it said. The voice was low and deep, and Trotty +fancied that it sounded in the other figures as well. + +‘I thought my name was called by the Chimes!’ said Trotty, raising his +hands in an attitude of supplication. ‘I hardly know why I am here, or +how I came. I have listened to the Chimes these many years. They have +cheered me often.’ + +‘And you have thanked them?’ said the Bell. + +‘A thousand times!’ cried Trotty. + +‘How?’ + +‘I am a poor man,’ faltered Trotty, ‘and could only thank them in words.’ + +‘And always so?’ inquired the Goblin of the Bell. ‘Have you never done +us wrong in words?’ + +‘No!’ cried Trotty eagerly. + +‘Never done us foul, and false, and wicked wrong, in words?’ pursued the +Goblin of the Bell. + +Trotty was about to answer, ‘Never!’ But he stopped, and was confused. + +‘The voice of Time,’ said the Phantom, ‘cries to man, Advance! Time is +for his advancement and improvement; for his greater worth, his greater +happiness, his better life; his progress onward to that goal within its +knowledge and its view, and set there, in the period when Time and He +began. Ages of darkness, wickedness, and violence, have come and +gone—millions uncountable, have suffered, lived, and died—to point the +way before him. Who seeks to turn him back, or stay him on his course, +arrests a mighty engine which will strike the meddler dead; and be the +fiercer and the wilder, ever, for its momentary check!’ + +‘I never did so to my knowledge, sir,’ said Trotty. ‘It was quite by +accident if I did. I wouldn’t go to do it, I’m sure.’ + +‘Who puts into the mouth of Time, or of its servants,’ said the Goblin of +the Bell, ‘a cry of lamentation for days which have had their trial and +their failure, and have left deep traces of it which the blind may see—a +cry that only serves the present time, by showing men how much it needs +their help when any ears can listen to regrets for such a past—who does +this, does a wrong. And you have done that wrong, to us, the Chimes.’ + +Trotty’s first excess of fear was gone. But he had felt tenderly and +gratefully towards the Bells, as you have seen; and when he heard himself +arraigned as one who had offended them so weightily, his heart was +touched with penitence and grief. + +‘If you knew,’ said Trotty, clasping his hands earnestly—‘or perhaps you +do know—if you know how often you have kept me company; how often you +have cheered me up when I’ve been low; how you were quite the plaything +of my little daughter Meg (almost the only one she ever had) when first +her mother died, and she and me were left alone; you won’t bear malice +for a hasty word!’ + +‘Who hears in us, the Chimes, one note bespeaking disregard, or stern +regard, of any hope, or joy, or pain, or sorrow, of the many-sorrowed +throng; who hears us make response to any creed that gauges human +passions and affections, as it gauges the amount of miserable food on +which humanity may pine and wither; does us wrong. That wrong you have +done us!’ said the Bell. + +‘I have!’ said Trotty. ‘Oh forgive me!’ + +‘Who hears us echo the dull vermin of the earth: the Putters Down of +crushed and broken natures, formed to be raised up higher than such +maggots of the time can crawl or can conceive,’ pursued the Goblin of the +Bell; ‘who does so, does us wrong. And you have done us wrong!’ + +‘Not meaning it,’ said Trotty. ‘In my ignorance. Not meaning it!’ + +‘Lastly, and most of all,’ pursued the Bell. ‘Who turns his back upon +the fallen and disfigured of his kind; abandons them as vile; and does +not trace and track with pitying eyes the unfenced precipice by which +they fell from good—grasping in their fall some tufts and shreds of that +lost soil, and clinging to them still when bruised and dying in the gulf +below; does wrong to Heaven and man, to time and to eternity. And you +have done that wrong!’ + +‘Spare me!’ cried Trotty, falling on his knees; ‘for Mercy’s sake!’ + +‘Listen!’ said the Shadow. + +‘Listen!’ cried the other Shadows. + +‘Listen!’ said a clear and childlike voice, which Trotty thought he +recognised as having heard before. + +The organ sounded faintly in the church below. Swelling by degrees, the +melody ascended to the roof, and filled the choir and nave. Expanding +more and more, it rose up, up; up, up; higher, higher, higher up; +awakening agitated hearts within the burly piles of oak: the hollow +bells, the iron-bound doors, the stairs of solid stone; until the tower +walls were insufficient to contain it, and it soared into the sky. + +No wonder that an old man’s breast could not contain a sound so vast and +mighty. It broke from that weak prison in a rush of tears; and Trotty +put his hands before his face. + +‘Listen!’ said the Shadow. + +‘Listen!’ said the other Shadows. + +‘Listen!’ said the child’s voice. + +A solemn strain of blended voices, rose into the tower. + +It was a very low and mournful strain—a Dirge—and as he listened, Trotty +heard his child among the singers. + +‘She is dead!’ exclaimed the old man. ‘Meg is dead! Her Spirit calls to +me. I hear it!’ + +‘The Spirit of your child bewails the dead, and mingles with the +dead—dead hopes, dead fancies, dead imaginings of youth,’ returned the +Bell, ‘but she is living. Learn from her life, a living truth. Learn +from the creature dearest to your heart, how bad the bad are born. See +every bud and leaf plucked one by one from off the fairest stem, and know +how bare and wretched it may be. Follow her! To desperation!’ + +Each of the shadowy figures stretched its right arm forth, and pointed +downward. + +‘The Spirit of the Chimes is your companion,’ said the figure. + +‘Go! It stands behind you!’ + +Trotty turned, and saw—the child! The child Will Fern had carried in the +street; the child whom Meg had watched, but now, asleep! + +‘I carried her myself, to-night,’ said Trotty. ‘In these arms!’ + +‘Show him what he calls himself,’ said the dark figures, one and all. + +The tower opened at his feet. He looked down, and beheld his own form, +lying at the bottom, on the outside: crushed and motionless. + +‘No more a living man!’ cried Trotty. ‘Dead!’ + +‘Dead!’ said the figures all together. + +‘Gracious Heaven! And the New Year—’ + +‘Past,’ said the figures. + +‘What!’ he cried, shuddering. ‘I missed my way, and coming on the +outside of this tower in the dark, fell down—a year ago?’ + +‘Nine years ago!’ replied the figures. + +As they gave the answer, they recalled their outstretched hands; and +where their figures had been, there the Bells were. + +And they rung; their time being come again. And once again, vast +multitudes of phantoms sprung into existence; once again, were +incoherently engaged, as they had been before; once again, faded on the +stopping of the Chimes; and dwindled into nothing. + +‘What are these?’ he asked his guide. ‘If I am not mad, what are these?’ + +‘Spirits of the Bells. Their sound upon the air,’ returned the child. +‘They take such shapes and occupations as the hopes and thoughts of +mortals, and the recollections they have stored up, give them.’ + +‘And you,’ said Trotty wildly. ‘What are you?’ + +‘Hush, hush!’ returned the child. ‘Look here!’ + +In a poor, mean room; working at the same kind of embroidery which he had +often, often seen before her; Meg, his own dear daughter, was presented +to his view. He made no effort to imprint his kisses on her face; he did +not strive to clasp her to his loving heart; he knew that such +endearments were, for him, no more. But, he held his trembling breath, +and brushed away the blinding tears, that he might look upon her; that he +might only see her. + +Ah! Changed. Changed. The light of the clear eye, how dimmed. The +bloom, how faded from the cheek. Beautiful she was, as she had ever +been, but Hope, Hope, Hope, oh where was the fresh Hope that had spoken +to him like a voice! + +She looked up from her work, at a companion. Following her eyes, the old +man started back. + +In the woman grown, he recognised her at a glance. In the long silken +hair, he saw the self-same curls; around the lips, the child’s expression +lingering still. See! In the eyes, now turned inquiringly on Meg, there +shone the very look that scanned those features when he brought her home! + +Then what was this, beside him! + +Looking with awe into its face, he saw a something reigning there: a +lofty something, undefined and indistinct, which made it hardly more than +a remembrance of that child—as yonder figure might be—yet it was the +same: the same: and wore the dress. + +Hark. They were speaking! + +‘Meg,’ said Lilian, hesitating. ‘How often you raise your head from your +work to look at me!’ + +‘Are my looks so altered, that they frighten you?’ asked Meg. + +‘Nay, dear! But you smile at that, yourself! Why not smile, when you +look at me, Meg?’ + +‘I do so. Do I not?’ she answered: smiling on her. + +‘Now you do,’ said Lilian, ‘but not usually. When you think I’m busy, +and don’t see you, you look so anxious and so doubtful, that I hardly +like to raise my eyes. There is little cause for smiling in this hard +and toilsome life, but you were once so cheerful.’ + +‘Am I not now!’ cried Meg, speaking in a tone of strange alarm, and +rising to embrace her. ‘Do I make our weary life more weary to you, +Lilian!’ + +‘You have been the only thing that made it life,’ said Lilian, fervently +kissing her; ‘sometimes the only thing that made me care to live so, Meg. +Such work, such work! So many hours, so many days, so many long, long +nights of hopeless, cheerless, never-ending work—not to heap up riches, +not to live grandly or gaily, not to live upon enough, however coarse; +but to earn bare bread; to scrape together just enough to toil upon, and +want upon, and keep alive in us the consciousness of our hard fate! Oh +Meg, Meg!’ she raised her voice and twined her arms about her as she +spoke, like one in pain. ‘How can the cruel world go round, and bear to +look upon such lives!’ + +‘Lilly!’ said Meg, soothing her, and putting back her hair from her wet +face. ‘Why, Lilly! You! So pretty and so young!’ + +‘Oh Meg!’ she interrupted, holding her at arm’s-length, and looking in +her face imploringly. ‘The worst of all, the worst of all! Strike me +old, Meg! Wither me, and shrivel me, and free me from the dreadful +thoughts that tempt me in my youth!’ + +Trotty turned to look upon his guide. But the Spirit of the child had +taken flight. Was gone. + +Neither did he himself remain in the same place; for, Sir Joseph Bowley, +Friend and Father of the Poor, held a great festivity at Bowley Hall, in +honour of the natal day of Lady Bowley. And as Lady Bowley had been born +on New Year’s Day (which the local newspapers considered an especial +pointing of the finger of Providence to number One, as Lady Bowley’s +destined figure in Creation), it was on a New Year’s Day that this +festivity took place. + +Bowley Hall was full of visitors. The red-faced gentleman was there, Mr. +Filer was there, the great Alderman Cute was there—Alderman Cute had a +sympathetic feeling with great people, and had considerably improved his +acquaintance with Sir Joseph Bowley on the strength of his attentive +letter: indeed had become quite a friend of the family since then—and +many guests were there. Trotty’s ghost was there, wandering about, poor +phantom, drearily; and looking for its guide. + +There was to be a great dinner in the Great Hall. At which Sir Joseph +Bowley, in his celebrated character of Friend and Father of the Poor, was +to make his great speech. Certain plum-puddings were to be eaten by his +Friends and Children in another Hall first; and, at a given signal, +Friends and Children flocking in among their Friends and Fathers, were to +form a family assemblage, with not one manly eye therein unmoistened by +emotion. + +But, there was more than this to happen. Even more than this. Sir +Joseph Bowley, Baronet and Member of Parliament, was to play a match at +skittles—real skittles—with his tenants! + +‘Which quite reminds me,’ said Alderman Cute, ‘of the days of old King +Hal, stout King Hal, bluff King Hal. Ah! Fine character!’ + +‘Very,’ said Mr. Filer, dryly. ‘For marrying women and murdering ’em. +Considerably more than the average number of wives by the bye.’ + +‘You’ll marry the beautiful ladies, and not murder ’em, eh?’ said +Alderman Cute to the heir of Bowley, aged twelve. ‘Sweet boy! We shall +have this little gentleman in Parliament now,’ said the Alderman, holding +him by the shoulders, and looking as reflective as he could, ‘before we +know where we are. We shall hear of his successes at the poll; his +speeches in the House; his overtures from Governments; his brilliant +achievements of all kinds; ah! we shall make our little orations about +him in the Common Council, I’ll be bound; before we have time to look +about us!’ + +‘Oh, the difference of shoes and stockings!’ Trotty thought. But his +heart yearned towards the child, for the love of those same shoeless and +stockingless boys, predestined (by the Alderman) to turn out bad, who +might have been the children of poor Meg. + +‘Richard,’ moaned Trotty, roaming among the company, to and fro; ‘where +is he? I can’t find Richard! Where is Richard?’ Not likely to be +there, if still alive! But Trotty’s grief and solitude confused him; and +he still went wandering among the gallant company, looking for his guide, +and saying, ‘Where is Richard? Show me Richard!’ + +He was wandering thus, when he encountered Mr. Fish, the confidential +Secretary: in great agitation. + +‘Bless my heart and soul!’ cried Mr. Fish. ‘Where’s Alderman Cute? Has +anybody seen the Alderman?’ + +Seen the Alderman? Oh dear! Who could ever help seeing the Alderman? +He was so considerate, so affable, he bore so much in mind the natural +desires of folks to see him, that if he had a fault, it was the being +constantly On View. And wherever the great people were, there, to be +sure, attracted by the kindred sympathy between great souls, was Cute. + +Several voices cried that he was in the circle round Sir Joseph. Mr. +Fish made way there; found him; and took him secretly into a window near +at hand. Trotty joined them. Not of his own accord. He felt that his +steps were led in that direction. + +‘My dear Alderman Cute,’ said Mr. Fish. ‘A little more this way. The +most dreadful circumstance has occurred. I have this moment received the +intelligence. I think it will be best not to acquaint Sir Joseph with it +till the day is over. You understand Sir Joseph, and will give me your +opinion. The most frightful and deplorable event!’ + +‘Fish!’ returned the Alderman. ‘Fish! My good fellow, what is the +matter? Nothing revolutionary, I hope! No—no attempted interference +with the magistrates?’ + +‘Deedles, the banker,’ gasped the Secretary. ‘Deedles Brothers—who was +to have been here to-day—high in office in the Goldsmiths’ Company—’ + +‘Not stopped!’ exclaimed the Alderman, ‘It can’t be!’ + +‘Shot himself.’ + +‘Good God!’ + +‘Put a double-barrelled pistol to his mouth, in his own counting house,’ +said Mr. Fish, ‘and blew his brains out. No motive. Princely +circumstances!’ + +‘Circumstances!’ exclaimed the Alderman. ‘A man of noble fortune. One +of the most respectable of men. Suicide, Mr. Fish! By his own hand!’ + +‘This very morning,’ returned Mr. Fish. + +‘Oh the brain, the brain!’ exclaimed the pious Alderman, lifting up his +hands. ‘Oh the nerves, the nerves; the mysteries of this machine called +Man! Oh the little that unhinges it: poor creatures that we are! +Perhaps a dinner, Mr. Fish. Perhaps the conduct of his son, who, I have +heard, ran very wild, and was in the habit of drawing bills upon him +without the least authority! A most respectable man. One of the most +respectable men I ever knew! A lamentable instance, Mr. Fish. A public +calamity! I shall make a point of wearing the deepest mourning. A most +respectable man! But there is One above. We must submit, Mr. Fish. We +must submit!’ + +What, Alderman! No word of Putting Down? Remember, Justice, your high +moral boast and pride. Come, Alderman! Balance those scales. Throw me +into this, the empty one, no dinner, and Nature’s founts in some poor +woman, dried by starving misery and rendered obdurate to claims for which +her offspring _has_ authority in holy mother Eve. Weigh me the two, you +Daniel, going to judgment, when your day shall come! Weigh them, in the +eyes of suffering thousands, audience (not unmindful) of the grim farce +you play. Or supposing that you strayed from your five wits—it’s not so +far to go, but that it might be—and laid hands upon that throat of yours, +warning your fellows (if you have a fellow) how they croak their +comfortable wickedness to raving heads and stricken hearts. What then? + +The words rose up in Trotty’s breast, as if they had been spoken by some +other voice within him. Alderman Cute pledged himself to Mr. Fish that +he would assist him in breaking the melancholy catastrophe to Sir Joseph +when the day was over. Then, before they parted, wringing Mr. Fish’s +hand in bitterness of soul, he said, ‘The most respectable of men!’ And +added that he hardly knew (not even he), why such afflictions were +allowed on earth. + +‘It’s almost enough to make one think, if one didn’t know better,’ said +Alderman Cute, ‘that at times some motion of a capsizing nature was going +on in things, which affected the general economy of the social fabric. +Deedles Brothers!’ + +The skittle-playing came off with immense success. Sir Joseph knocked +the pins about quite skilfully; Master Bowley took an innings at a +shorter distance also; and everybody said that now, when a Baronet and +the Son of a Baronet played at skittles, the country was coming round +again, as fast as it could come. + +At its proper time, the Banquet was served up. Trotty involuntarily +repaired to the Hall with the rest, for he felt himself conducted thither +by some stronger impulse than his own free will. The sight was gay in +the extreme; the ladies were very handsome; the visitors delighted, +cheerful, and good-tempered. When the lower doors were opened, and the +people flocked in, in their rustic dresses, the beauty of the spectacle +was at its height; but Trotty only murmured more and more, ‘Where is +Richard! He should help and comfort her! I can’t see Richard!’ + +There had been some speeches made; and Lady Bowley’s health had been +proposed; and Sir Joseph Bowley had returned thanks, and had made his +great speech, showing by various pieces of evidence that he was the born +Friend and Father, and so forth; and had given as a Toast, his Friends +and Children, and the Dignity of Labour; when a slight disturbance at the +bottom of the Hall attracted Toby’s notice. After some confusion, noise, +and opposition, one man broke through the rest, and stood forward by +himself. + +Not Richard. No. But one whom he had thought of, and had looked for, +many times. In a scantier supply of light, he might have doubted the +identity of that worn man, so old, and grey, and bent; but with a blaze +of lamps upon his gnarled and knotted head, he knew Will Fern as soon as +he stepped forth. + +‘What is this!’ exclaimed Sir Joseph, rising. ‘Who gave this man +admittance? This is a criminal from prison! Mr. Fish, sir, _will_ you +have the goodness—’ + +‘A minute!’ said Will Fern. ‘A minute! My Lady, you was born on this +day along with a New Year. Get me a minute’s leave to speak.’ + +She made some intercession for him. Sir Joseph took his seat again, with +native dignity. + +The ragged visitor—for he was miserably dressed—looked round upon the +company, and made his homage to them with a humble bow. + +‘Gentlefolks!’ he said. ‘You’ve drunk the Labourer. Look at me!’ + +‘Just come from jail,’ said Mr. Fish. + +‘Just come from jail,’ said Will. ‘And neither for the first time, nor +the second, nor the third, nor yet the fourth.’ + +Mr. Filer was heard to remark testily, that four times was over the +average; and he ought to be ashamed of himself. + +‘Gentlefolks!’ repeated Will Fern. ‘Look at me! You see I’m at the +worst. Beyond all hurt or harm; beyond your help; for the time when your +kind words or kind actions could have done me good,’—he struck his hand +upon his breast, and shook his head, ‘is gone, with the scent of last +year’s beans or clover on the air. Let me say a word for these,’ +pointing to the labouring people in the Hall; ‘and when you’re met +together, hear the real Truth spoke out for once.’ + +‘There’s not a man here,’ said the host, ‘who would have him for a +spokesman.’ + +‘Like enough, Sir Joseph. I believe it. Not the less true, perhaps, is +what I say. Perhaps that’s a proof on it. Gentlefolks, I’ve lived many +a year in this place. You may see the cottage from the sunk fence over +yonder. I’ve seen the ladies draw it in their books, a hundred times. +It looks well in a picter, I’ve heerd say; but there an’t weather in +picters, and maybe ’tis fitter for that, than for a place to live in. +Well! I lived there. How hard—how bitter hard, I lived there, I won’t +say. Any day in the year, and every day, you can judge for your own +selves.’ + +He spoke as he had spoken on the night when Trotty found him in the +street. His voice was deeper and more husky, and had a trembling in it +now and then; but he never raised it passionately, and seldom lifted it +above the firm stern level of the homely facts he stated. + +‘’Tis harder than you think for, gentlefolks, to grow up decent, commonly +decent, in such a place. That I growed up a man and not a brute, says +something for me—as I was then. As I am now, there’s nothing can be said +for me or done for me. I’m past it.’ + +‘I am glad this man has entered,’ observed Sir Joseph, looking round +serenely. ‘Don’t disturb him. It appears to be Ordained. He is an +example: a living example. I hope and trust, and confidently expect, +that it will not be lost upon my Friends here.’ + +‘I dragged on,’ said Fern, after a moment’s silence, ‘somehow. Neither +me nor any other man knows how; but so heavy, that I couldn’t put a +cheerful face upon it, or make believe that I was anything but what I +was. Now, gentlemen—you gentlemen that sits at Sessions—when you see a +man with discontent writ on his face, you says to one another, “He’s +suspicious. I has my doubts,” says you, “about Will Fern. Watch that +fellow!” I don’t say, gentlemen, it ain’t quite nat’ral, but I say ’tis +so; and from that hour, whatever Will Fern does, or lets alone—all one—it +goes against him.’ + +Alderman Cute stuck his thumbs in his waistcoat-pockets, and leaning back +in his chair, and smiling, winked at a neighbouring chandelier. As much +as to say, ‘Of course! I told you so. The common cry! Lord bless you, +we are up to all this sort of thing—myself and human nature.’ + +‘Now, gentlemen,’ said Will Fern, holding out his hands, and flushing for +an instant in his haggard face, ‘see how your laws are made to trap and +hunt us when we’re brought to this. I tries to live elsewhere. And I’m +a vagabond. To jail with him! I comes back here. I goes a-nutting in +your woods, and breaks—who don’t?—a limber branch or two. To jail with +him! One of your keepers sees me in the broad day, near my own patch of +garden, with a gun. To jail with him! I has a nat’ral angry word with +that man, when I’m free again. To jail with him! I cuts a stick. To +jail with him! I eats a rotten apple or a turnip. To jail with him! +It’s twenty mile away; and coming back I begs a trifle on the road. To +jail with him! At last, the constable, the keeper—anybody—finds me +anywhere, a-doing anything. To jail with him, for he’s a vagrant, and a +jail-bird known; and jail’s the only home he’s got.’ + +The Alderman nodded sagaciously, as who should say, ‘A very good home +too!’ + +‘Do I say this to serve MY cause!’ cried Fern. ‘Who can give me back my +liberty, who can give me back my good name, who can give me back my +innocent niece? Not all the Lords and Ladies in wide England. But, +gentlemen, gentlemen, dealing with other men like me, begin at the right +end. Give us, in mercy, better homes when we’re a-lying in our cradles; +give us better food when we’re a-working for our lives; give us kinder +laws to bring us back when we're a-going wrong; and don’t set jail, jail, +jail, afore us, everywhere we turn. There an’t a condescension you can +show the Labourer then, that he won’t take, as ready and as grateful as a +man can be; for, he has a patient, peaceful, willing heart. But you must +put his rightful spirit in him first; for, whether he’s a wreck and ruin +such as me, or is like one of them that stand here now, his spirit is +divided from you at this time. Bring it back, gentlefolks, bring it +back! Bring it back, afore the day comes when even his Bible changes in +his altered mind, and the words seem to him to read, as they have +sometimes read in my own eyes—in jail: “Whither thou goest, I can Not go; +where thou lodgest, I do Not lodge; thy people are Not my people; Nor thy +God my God!”’ + +A sudden stir and agitation took place in Hall. Trotty thought at first, +that several had risen to eject the man; and hence this change in its +appearance. But, another moment showed him that the room and all the +company had vanished from his sight, and that his daughter was again +before him, seated at her work. But in a poorer, meaner garret than +before; and with no Lilian by her side. + +The frame at which she had worked, was put away upon a shelf and covered +up. The chair in which she had sat, was turned against the wall. A +history was written in these little things, and in Meg’s grief-worn face. +Oh! who could fail to read it! + +Meg strained her eyes upon her work until it was too dark to see the +threads; and when the night closed in, she lighted her feeble candle and +worked on. Still her old father was invisible about her; looking down +upon her; loving her—how dearly loving her!—and talking to her in a +tender voice about the old times, and the Bells. Though he knew, poor +Trotty, though he knew she could not hear him. + +A great part of the evening had worn away, when a knock came at her door. +She opened it. A man was on the threshold. A slouching, moody, drunken +sloven, wasted by intemperance and vice, and with his matted hair and +unshorn beard in wild disorder; but, with some traces on him, too, of +having been a man of good proportion and good features in his youth. + +He stopped until he had her leave to enter; and she, retiring a pace or +two from the open door, silently and sorrowfully looked upon him. Trotty +had his wish. He saw Richard. + +‘May I come in, Margaret?’ + +‘Yes! Come in. Come in!’ + +It was well that Trotty knew him before he spoke; for with any doubt +remaining on his mind, the harsh discordant voice would have persuaded +him that it was not Richard but some other man. + +There were but two chairs in the room. She gave him hers, and stood at +some short distance from him, waiting to hear what he had to say. + +He sat, however, staring vacantly at the floor; with a lustreless and +stupid smile. A spectacle of such deep degradation, of such abject +hopelessness, of such a miserable downfall, that she put her hands before +her face and turned away, lest he should see how much it moved her. + +Roused by the rustling of her dress, or some such trifling sound, he +lifted his head, and began to speak as if there had been no pause since +he entered. + +‘Still at work, Margaret? You work late.’ + +‘I generally do.’ + +‘And early?’ + +‘And early.’ + +‘So she said. She said you never tired; or never owned that you tired. +Not all the time you lived together. Not even when you fainted, between +work and fasting. But I told you that, the last time I came.’ + +‘You did,’ she answered. ‘And I implored you to tell me nothing more; +and you made me a solemn promise, Richard, that you never would.’ + +‘A solemn promise,’ he repeated, with a drivelling laugh and vacant +stare. ‘A solemn promise. To be sure. A solemn promise!’ Awakening, +as it were, after a time; in the same manner as before; he said with +sudden animation: + +‘How can I help it, Margaret? What am I to do? She has been to me +again!’ + +‘Again!’ cried Meg, clasping her hands. ‘O, does she think of me so +often! Has she been again!’ + +‘Twenty times again,’ said Richard. ‘Margaret, she haunts me. She comes +behind me in the street, and thrusts it in my hand. I hear her foot upon +the ashes when I’m at my work (ha, ha! that an’t often), and before I can +turn my head, her voice is in my ear, saying, “Richard, don’t look round. +For Heaven’s love, give her this!” She brings it where I live: she sends +it in letters; she taps at the window and lays it on the sill. What +_can_ I do? Look at it!’ + +He held out in his hand a little purse, and chinked the money it +enclosed. + +‘Hide it,’ said Meg. ‘Hide it! When she comes again, tell her, Richard, +that I love her in my soul. That I never lie down to sleep, but I bless +her, and pray for her. That, in my solitary work, I never cease to have +her in my thoughts. That she is with me, night and day. That if I died +to-morrow, I would remember her with my last breath. But, that I cannot +look upon it!’ + +He slowly recalled his hand, and crushing the purse together, said with a +kind of drowsy thoughtfulness: + +‘I told her so. I told her so, as plain as words could speak. I’ve +taken this gift back and left it at her door, a dozen times since then. +But when she came at last, and stood before me, face to face, what could +I do?’ + +‘You saw her!’ exclaimed Meg. ‘You saw her! O, Lilian, my sweet girl! +O, Lilian, Lilian!’ + +‘I saw her,’ he went on to say, not answering, but engaged in the same +slow pursuit of his own thoughts. ‘There she stood: trembling! “How +does she look, Richard? Does she ever speak of me? Is she thinner? My +old place at the table: what’s in my old place? And the frame she taught +me our old work on—has she burnt it, Richard!” There she was. I heard +her say it.’ + +Meg checked her sobs, and with the tears streaming from her eyes, bent +over him to listen. Not to lose a breath. + +With his arms resting on his knees; and stooping forward in his chair, as +if what he said were written on the ground in some half legible +character, which it was his occupation to decipher and connect; he went +on. + +‘“Richard, I have fallen very low; and you may guess how much I have +suffered in having this sent back, when I can bear to bring it in my hand +to you. But you loved her once, even in my memory, dearly. Others +stepped in between you; fears, and jealousies, and doubts, and vanities, +estranged you from her; but you did love her, even in my memory!” I +suppose I did,’ he said, interrupting himself for a moment. ‘I did! +That’s neither here nor there—“O Richard, if you ever did; if you have +any memory for what is gone and lost, take it to her once more. Once +more! Tell her how I laid my head upon your shoulder, where her own head +might have lain, and was so humble to you, Richard. Tell her that you +looked into my face, and saw the beauty which she used to praise, all +gone: all gone: and in its place, a poor, wan, hollow cheek, that she +would weep to see. Tell her everything, and take it back, and she will +not refuse again. She will not have the heart!”’ + +So he sat musing, and repeating the last words, until he woke again, and +rose. + +‘You won’t take it, Margaret?’ + +She shook her head, and motioned an entreaty to him to leave her. + +‘Good night, Margaret.’ + +‘Good night!’ + +He turned to look upon her; struck by her sorrow, and perhaps by the pity +for himself which trembled in her voice. It was a quick and rapid +action; and for the moment some flash of his old bearing kindled in his +form. In the next he went as he had come. Nor did this glimmer of a +quenched fire seem to light him to a quicker sense of his debasement. + +In any mood, in any grief, in any torture of the mind or body, Meg’s work +must be done. She sat down to her task, and plied it. Night, midnight. +Still she worked. + +She had a meagre fire, the night being very cold; and rose at intervals +to mend it. The Chimes rang half-past twelve while she was thus engaged; +and when they ceased she heard a gentle knocking at the door. Before she +could so much as wonder who was there, at that unusual hour, it opened. + +O Youth and Beauty, happy as ye should be, look at this. O Youth and +Beauty, blest and blessing all within your reach, and working out the +ends of your Beneficent Creator, look at this! + +She saw the entering figure; screamed its name; cried ‘Lilian!’ + +It was swift, and fell upon its knees before her: clinging to her dress. + +‘Up, dear! Up! Lilian! My own dearest!’ + +‘Never more, Meg; never more! Here! Here! Close to you, holding to +you, feeling your dear breath upon my face!’ + +‘Sweet Lilian! Darling Lilian! Child of my heart—no mother’s love can +be more tender—lay your head upon my breast!’ + +‘Never more, Meg. Never more! When I first looked into your face, you +knelt before me. On my knees before you, let me die. Let it be here!’ + +‘You have come back. My Treasure! We will live together, work together, +hope together, die together!’ + +‘Ah! Kiss my lips, Meg; fold your arms about me; press me to your bosom; +look kindly on me; but don’t raise me. Let it be here. Let me see the +last of your dear face upon my knees!’ + +O Youth and Beauty, happy as ye should be, look at this! O Youth and +Beauty, working out the ends of your Beneficent Creator, look at this! + +‘Forgive me, Meg! So dear, so dear! Forgive me! I know you do, I see +you do, but say so, Meg!’ + +She said so, with her lips on Lilian’s cheek. And with her arms twined +round—she knew it now—a broken heart. + +‘His blessing on you, dearest love. Kiss me once more! He suffered her +to sit beside His feet, and dry them with her hair. O Meg, what Mercy +and Compassion!’ + +As she died, the Spirit of the child returning, innocent and radiant, +touched the old man with its hand, and beckoned him away. + + + + +CHAPTER IV—Fourth Quarter. + + +Some new remembrance of the ghostly figures in the Bells; some faint +impression of the ringing of the Chimes; some giddy consciousness of +having seen the swarm of phantoms reproduced and reproduced until the +recollection of them lost itself in the confusion of their numbers; some +hurried knowledge, how conveyed to him he knew not, that more years had +passed; and Trotty, with the Spirit of the child attending him, stood +looking on at mortal company. + +Fat company, rosy-cheeked company, comfortable company. They were but +two, but they were red enough for ten. They sat before a bright fire, +with a small low table between them; and unless the fragrance of hot tea +and muffins lingered longer in that room than in most others, the table +had seen service very lately. But all the cups and saucers being clean, +and in their proper places in the corner-cupboard; and the brass +toasting-fork hanging in its usual nook and spreading its four idle +fingers out as if it wanted to be measured for a glove; there remained no +other visible tokens of the meal just finished, than such as purred and +washed their whiskers in the person of the basking cat, and glistened in +the gracious, not to say the greasy, faces of her patrons. + +This cosy couple (married, evidently) had made a fair division of the +fire between them, and sat looking at the glowing sparks that dropped +into the grate; now nodding off into a doze; now waking up again when +some hot fragment, larger than the rest, came rattling down, as if the +fire were coming with it. + +It was in no danger of sudden extinction, however; for it gleamed not +only in the little room, and on the panes of window-glass in the door, +and on the curtain half drawn across them, but in the little shop beyond. +A little shop, quite crammed and choked with the abundance of its stock; +a perfectly voracious little shop, with a maw as accommodating and full +as any shark’s. Cheese, butter, firewood, soap, pickles, matches, bacon, +table-beer, peg-tops, sweetmeats, boys’ kites, bird-seed, cold ham, birch +brooms, hearth-stones, salt, vinegar, blacking, red-herrings, stationery, +lard, mushroom-ketchup, staylaces, loaves of bread, shuttlecocks, eggs, +and slate pencil; everything was fish that came to the net of this greedy +little shop, and all articles were in its net. How many other kinds of +petty merchandise were there, it would be difficult to say; but balls of +packthread, ropes of onions, pounds of candles, cabbage-nets, and +brushes, hung in bunches from the ceiling, like extraordinary fruit; +while various odd canisters emitting aromatic smells, established the +veracity of the inscription over the outer door, which informed the +public that the keeper of this little shop was a licensed dealer in tea, +coffee, tobacco, pepper, and snuff. + +Glancing at such of these articles as were visible in the shining of the +blaze, and the less cheerful radiance of two smoky lamps which burnt but +dimly in the shop itself, as though its plethora sat heavy on their +lungs; and glancing, then, at one of the two faces by the parlour-fire; +Trotty had small difficulty in recognising in the stout old lady, Mrs. +Chickenstalker: always inclined to corpulency, even in the days when he +had known her as established in the general line, and having a small +balance against him in her books. + +The features of her companion were less easy to him. The great broad +chin, with creases in it large enough to hide a finger in; the astonished +eyes, that seemed to expostulate with themselves for sinking deeper and +deeper into the yielding fat of the soft face; the nose afflicted with +that disordered action of its functions which is generally termed The +Snuffles; the short thick throat and labouring chest, with other beauties +of the like description; though calculated to impress the memory, Trotty +could at first allot to nobody he had ever known: and yet he had some +recollection of them too. At length, in Mrs. Chickenstalker’s partner in +the general line, and in the crooked and eccentric line of life, he +recognised the former porter of Sir Joseph Bowley; an apoplectic +innocent, who had connected himself in Trotty’s mind with Mrs. +Chickenstalker years ago, by giving him admission to the mansion where he +had confessed his obligations to that lady, and drawn on his unlucky head +such grave reproach. + +Trotty had little interest in a change like this, after the changes he +had seen; but association is very strong sometimes; and he looked +involuntarily behind the parlour-door, where the accounts of credit +customers were usually kept in chalk. There was no record of his name. +Some names were there, but they were strange to him, and infinitely fewer +than of old; from which he argued that the porter was an advocate of +ready-money transactions, and on coming into the business had looked +pretty sharp after the Chickenstalker defaulters. + +So desolate was Trotty, and so mournful for the youth and promise of his +blighted child, that it was a sorrow to him, even to have no place in +Mrs. Chickenstalker’s ledger. + +‘What sort of a night is it, Anne?’ inquired the former porter of Sir +Joseph Bowley, stretching out his legs before the fire, and rubbing as +much of them as his short arms could reach; with an air that added, ‘Here +I am if it’s bad, and I don’t want to go out if it’s good.’ + +‘Blowing and sleeting hard,’ returned his wife; ‘and threatening snow. +Dark. And very cold.’ + +‘I’m glad to think we had muffins,’ said the former porter, in the tone +of one who had set his conscience at rest. ‘It’s a sort of night that’s +meant for muffins. Likewise crumpets. Also Sally Lunns.’ + +The former porter mentioned each successive kind of eatable, as if he +were musingly summing up his good actions. After which he rubbed his fat +legs as before, and jerking them at the knees to get the fire upon the +yet unroasted parts, laughed as if somebody had tickled him. + +‘You’re in spirits, Tugby, my dear,’ observed his wife. + +The firm was Tugby, late Chickenstalker. + +‘No,’ said Tugby. ‘No. Not particular. I’m a little elewated. The +muffins came so pat!’ + +With that he chuckled until he was black in the face; and had so much ado +to become any other colour, that his fat legs took the strangest +excursions into the air. Nor were they reduced to anything like decorum +until Mrs. Tugby had thumped him violently on the back, and shaken him as +if he were a great bottle. + +‘Good gracious, goodness, lord-a-mercy bless and save the man!’ cried +Mrs. Tugby, in great terror. ‘What’s he doing?’ + +Mr. Tugby wiped his eyes, and faintly repeated that he found himself a +little elewated. + +‘Then don’t be so again, that’s a dear good soul,’ said Mrs. Tugby, ‘if +you don’t want to frighten me to death, with your struggling and +fighting!’ + +Mr. Tugby said he wouldn’t; but, his whole existence was a fight, in +which, if any judgment might be founded on the constantly-increasing +shortness of his breath, and the deepening purple of his face, he was +always getting the worst of it. + +‘So it’s blowing, and sleeting, and threatening snow; and it’s dark, and +very cold, is it, my dear?’ said Mr. Tugby, looking at the fire, and +reverting to the cream and marrow of his temporary elevation. + +‘Hard weather indeed,’ returned his wife, shaking her head. + +‘Aye, aye! Years,’ said Mr. Tugby, ‘are like Christians in that respect. +Some of ’em die hard; some of ’em die easy. This one hasn’t many days to +run, and is making a fight for it. I like him all the better. There’s a +customer, my love!’ + +Attentive to the rattling door, Mrs. Tugby had already risen. + +‘Now then!’ said that lady, passing out into the little shop. ‘What’s +wanted? Oh! I beg your pardon, sir, I’m sure. I didn’t think it was +you.’ + +She made this apology to a gentleman in black, who, with his wristbands +tucked up, and his hat cocked loungingly on one side, and his hands in +his pockets, sat down astride on the table-beer barrel, and nodded in +return. + +‘This is a bad business up-stairs, Mrs. Tugby,’ said the gentleman. ‘The +man can’t live.’ + +‘Not the back-attic can’t!’ cried Tugby, coming out into the shop to join +the conference. + +‘The back-attic, Mr. Tugby,’ said the gentleman, ‘is coming down-stairs +fast, and will be below the basement very soon.’ + +Looking by turns at Tugby and his wife, he sounded the barrel with his +knuckles for the depth of beer, and having found it, played a tune upon +the empty part. + +‘The back-attic, Mr. Tugby,’ said the gentleman: Tugby having stood in +silent consternation for some time: ‘is Going.’ + +‘Then,’ said Tugby, turning to his wife, ‘he must Go, you know, before +he’s Gone.’ + +‘I don’t think you can move him,’ said the gentleman, shaking his head. +‘I wouldn’t take the responsibility of saying it could be done, myself. +You had better leave him where he is. He can’t live long.’ + +‘It’s the only subject,’ said Tugby, bringing the butter-scale down upon +the counter with a crash, by weighing his fist on it, ‘that we’ve ever +had a word upon; she and me; and look what it comes to! He’s going to +die here, after all. Going to die upon the premises. Going to die in +our house!’ + +‘And where should he have died, Tugby?’ cried his wife. + +‘In the workhouse,’ he returned. ‘What are workhouses made for?’ + +‘Not for that,’ said Mrs. Tugby, with great energy. ‘Not for that! +Neither did I marry you for that. Don’t think it, Tugby. I won’t have +it. I won’t allow it. I’d be separated first, and never see your face +again. When my widow’s name stood over that door, as it did for many +years: this house being known as Mrs. Chickenstalker’s far and wide, and +never known but to its honest credit and its good report: when my widow’s +name stood over that door, Tugby, I knew him as a handsome, steady, +manly, independent youth; I knew her as the sweetest-looking, +sweetest-tempered girl, eyes ever saw; I knew her father (poor old +creetur, he fell down from the steeple walking in his sleep, and killed +himself), for the simplest, hardest-working, childest-hearted man, that +ever drew the breath of life; and when I turn them out of house and home, +may angels turn me out of Heaven. As they would! And serve me right!’ + +Her old face, which had been a plump and dimpled one before the changes +which had come to pass, seemed to shine out of her as she said these +words; and when she dried her eyes, and shook her head and her +handkerchief at Tugby, with an expression of firmness which it was quite +clear was not to be easily resisted, Trotty said, ‘Bless her! Bless +her!’ + +Then he listened, with a panting heart, for what should follow. Knowing +nothing yet, but that they spoke of Meg. + +If Tugby had been a little elevated in the parlour, he more than balanced +that account by being not a little depressed in the shop, where he now +stood staring at his wife, without attempting a reply; secretly +conveying, however—either in a fit of abstraction or as a precautionary +measure—all the money from the till into his own pockets, as he looked at +her. + +The gentleman upon the table-beer cask, who appeared to be some +authorised medical attendant upon the poor, was far too well accustomed, +evidently, to little differences of opinion between man and wife, to +interpose any remark in this instance. He sat softly whistling, and +turning little drops of beer out of the tap upon the ground, until there +was a perfect calm: when he raised his head, and said to Mrs. Tugby, late +Chickenstalker: + +‘There’s something interesting about the woman, even now. How did she +come to marry him?’ + +‘Why that,’ said Mrs. Tugby, taking a seat near him, ‘is not the least +cruel part of her story, sir. You see they kept company, she and +Richard, many years ago. When they were a young and beautiful couple, +everything was settled, and they were to have been married on a New +Year’s Day. But, somehow, Richard got it into his head, through what the +gentlemen told him, that he might do better, and that he’d soon repent +it, and that she wasn’t good enough for him, and that a young man of +spirit had no business to be married. And the gentlemen frightened her, +and made her melancholy, and timid of his deserting her, and of her +children coming to the gallows, and of its being wicked to be man and +wife, and a good deal more of it. And in short, they lingered and +lingered, and their trust in one another was broken, and so at last was +the match. But the fault was his. She would have married him, sir, +joyfully. I’ve seen her heart swell many times afterwards, when he +passed her in a proud and careless way; and never did a woman grieve more +truly for a man, than she for Richard when he first went wrong.’ + +‘Oh! he went wrong, did he?’ said the gentleman, pulling out the vent-peg +of the table-beer, and trying to peep down into the barrel through the +hole. + +‘Well, sir, I don’t know that he rightly understood himself, you see. I +think his mind was troubled by their having broke with one another; and +that but for being ashamed before the gentlemen, and perhaps for being +uncertain too, how she might take it, he’d have gone through any +suffering or trial to have had Meg’s promise and Meg’s hand again. +That’s my belief. He never said so; more’s the pity! He took to +drinking, idling, bad companions: all the fine resources that were to be +so much better for him than the Home he might have had. He lost his +looks, his character, his health, his strength, his friends, his work: +everything!’ + +‘He didn’t lose everything, Mrs. Tugby,’ returned the gentleman, ‘because +he gained a wife; and I want to know how he gained her.’ + +‘I’m coming to it, sir, in a moment. This went on for years and years; +he sinking lower and lower; she enduring, poor thing, miseries enough to +wear her life away. At last, he was so cast down, and cast out, that no +one would employ or notice him; and doors were shut upon him, go where he +would. Applying from place to place, and door to door; and coming for +the hundredth time to one gentleman who had often and often tried him (he +was a good workman to the very end); that gentleman, who knew his +history, said, “I believe you are incorrigible; there is only one person +in the world who has a chance of reclaiming you; ask me to trust you no +more, until she tries to do it.” Something like that, in his anger and +vexation.’ + +‘Ah!’ said the gentleman. ‘Well?’ + +‘Well, sir, he went to her, and kneeled to her; said it was so; said it +ever had been so; and made a prayer to her to save him.’ + +‘And she?—Don’t distress yourself, Mrs. Tugby.’ + +‘She came to me that night to ask me about living here. “What he was +once to me,” she said, “is buried in a grave, side by side with what I +was to him. But I have thought of this; and I will make the trial. In +the hope of saving him; for the love of the light-hearted girl (you +remember her) who was to have been married on a New Year’s Day; and for +the love of her Richard.” And she said he had come to her from Lilian, +and Lilian had trusted to him, and she never could forget that. So they +were married; and when they came home here, and I saw them, I hoped that +such prophecies as parted them when they were young, may not often fulfil +themselves as they did in this case, or I wouldn’t be the makers of them +for a Mine of Gold.’ + +The gentleman got off the cask, and stretched himself, observing: + +‘I suppose he used her ill, as soon as they were married?’ + +‘I don’t think he ever did that,’ said Mrs. Tugby, shaking her head, and +wiping her eyes. ‘He went on better for a short time; but, his habits +were too old and strong to be got rid of; he soon fell back a little; and +was falling fast back, when his illness came so strong upon him. I think +he has always felt for her. I am sure he has. I have seen him, in his +crying fits and tremblings, try to kiss her hand; and I have heard him +call her “Meg,” and say it was her nineteenth birthday. There he has +been lying, now, these weeks and months. Between him and her baby, she +has not been able to do her old work; and by not being able to be +regular, she has lost it, even if she could have done it. How they have +lived, I hardly know!’ + +‘I know,’ muttered Mr. Tugby; looking at the till, and round the shop, +and at his wife; and rolling his head with immense intelligence. ‘Like +Fighting Cocks!’ + +He was interrupted by a cry—a sound of lamentation—from the upper story +of the house. The gentleman moved hurriedly to the door. + +‘My friend,’ he said, looking back, ‘you needn’t discuss whether he shall +be removed or not. He has spared you that trouble, I believe.’ + +Saying so, he ran up-stairs, followed by Mrs. Tugby; while Mr. Tugby +panted and grumbled after them at leisure: being rendered more than +commonly short-winded by the weight of the till, in which there had been +an inconvenient quantity of copper. Trotty, with the child beside him, +floated up the staircase like mere air. + +‘Follow her! Follow her! Follow her!’ He heard the ghostly voices in +the Bells repeat their words as he ascended. ‘Learn it, from the +creature dearest to your heart!’ + +It was over. It was over. And this was she, her father’s pride and joy! +This haggard, wretched woman, weeping by the bed, if it deserved that +name, and pressing to her breast, and hanging down her head upon, an +infant. Who can tell how spare, how sickly, and how poor an infant! Who +can tell how dear! + +‘Thank God!’ cried Trotty, holding up his folded hands. ‘O, God be +thanked! She loves her child!’ + +The gentleman, not otherwise hard-hearted or indifferent to such scenes, +than that he saw them every day, and knew that they were figures of no +moment in the Filer sums—mere scratches in the working of these +calculations—laid his hand upon the heart that beat no more, and listened +for the breath, and said, ‘His pain is over. It’s better as it is!’ +Mrs. Tugby tried to comfort her with kindness. Mr. Tugby tried +philosophy. + +‘Come, come!’ he said, with his hands in his pockets, ‘you mustn’t give +way, you know. That won’t do. You must fight up. What would have +become of me if _I_ had given way when I was porter, and we had as many +as six runaway carriage-doubles at our door in one night! But, I fell +back upon my strength of mind, and didn’t open it!’ + +Again Trotty heard the voices saying, ‘Follow her!’ He turned towards +his guide, and saw it rising from him, passing through the air. ‘Follow +her!’ it said. And vanished. + +He hovered round her; sat down at her feet; looked up into her face for +one trace of her old self; listened for one note of her old pleasant +voice. He flitted round the child: so wan, so prematurely old, so +dreadful in its gravity, so plaintive in its feeble, mournful, miserable +wail. He almost worshipped it. He clung to it as her only safeguard; as +the last unbroken link that bound her to endurance. He set his father’s +hope and trust on the frail baby; watched her every look upon it as she +held it in her arms; and cried a thousand times, ‘She loves it! God be +thanked, she loves it!’ + +He saw the woman tend her in the night; return to her when her grudging +husband was asleep, and all was still; encourage her, shed tears with +her, set nourishment before her. He saw the day come, and the night +again; the day, the night; the time go by; the house of death relieved of +death; the room left to herself and to the child; he heard it moan and +cry; he saw it harass her, and tire her out, and when she slumbered in +exhaustion, drag her back to consciousness, and hold her with its little +hands upon the rack; but she was constant to it, gentle with it, patient +with it. Patient! Was its loving mother in her inmost heart and soul, +and had its Being knitted up with hers as when she carried it unborn. + +All this time, she was in want: languishing away, in dire and pining +want. With the baby in her arms, she wandered here and there, in quest +of occupation; and with its thin face lying in her lap, and looking up in +hers, did any work for any wretched sum; a day and night of labour for as +many farthings as there were figures on the dial. If she had quarrelled +with it; if she had neglected it; if she had looked upon it with a +moment’s hate; if, in the frenzy of an instant, she had struck it! No. +His comfort was, She loved it always. + +She told no one of her extremity, and wandered abroad in the day lest she +should be questioned by her only friend: for any help she received from +her hands, occasioned fresh disputes between the good woman and her +husband; and it was new bitterness to be the daily cause of strife and +discord, where she owed so much. + +She loved it still. She loved it more and more. But a change fell on +the aspect of her love. One night. + +She was singing faintly to it in its sleep, and walking to and fro to +hush it, when her door was softly opened, and a man looked in. + +‘For the last time,’ he said. + +‘William Fern!’ + +‘For the last time.’ + +He listened like a man pursued: and spoke in whispers. + +‘Margaret, my race is nearly run. I couldn’t finish it, without a +parting word with you. Without one grateful word.’ + +‘What have you done?’ she asked: regarding him with terror. + +He looked at her, but gave no answer. + +After a short silence, he made a gesture with his hand, as if he set her +question by; as if he brushed it aside; and said: + +‘It’s long ago, Margaret, now: but that night is as fresh in my memory as +ever ’twas. We little thought, then,’ he added, looking round, ‘that we +should ever meet like this. Your child, Margaret? Let me have it in my +arms. Let me hold your child.’ + +He put his hat upon the floor, and took it. And he trembled as he took +it, from head to foot. + +‘Is it a girl?’ + +‘Yes.’ + +He put his hand before its little face. + +‘See how weak I’m grown, Margaret, when I want the courage to look at it! +Let her be, a moment. I won’t hurt her. It’s long ago, but—What’s her +name?’ + +‘Margaret,’ she answered, quickly. + +‘I’m glad of that,’ he said. ‘I’m glad of that!’ He seemed to breathe +more freely; and after pausing for an instant, took away his hand, and +looked upon the infant’s face. But covered it again, immediately. + +‘Margaret!’ he said; and gave her back the child. ‘It’s Lilian’s.’ + +‘Lilian’s!’ + +‘I held the same face in my arms when Lilian’s mother died and left her.’ + +‘When Lilian’s mother died and left her!’ she repeated, wildly. + +‘How shrill you speak! Why do you fix your eyes upon me so? Margaret!’ + +She sunk down in a chair, and pressed the infant to her breast, and wept +over it. Sometimes, she released it from her embrace, to look anxiously +in its face: then strained it to her bosom again. At those times, when +she gazed upon it, then it was that something fierce and terrible began +to mingle with her love. Then it was that her old father quailed. + +‘Follow her!’ was sounded through the house. ‘Learn it, from the +creature dearest to your heart!’ + +‘Margaret,’ said Fern, bending over her, and kissing her upon the brow: +‘I thank you for the last time. Good night. Good bye! Put your hand in +mine, and tell me you’ll forget me from this hour, and try to think the +end of me was here.’ + +‘What have you done?’ she asked again. + +‘There’ll be a Fire to-night,’ he said, removing from her. ‘There’ll be +Fires this winter-time, to light the dark nights, East, West, North, and +South. When you see the distant sky red, they’ll be blazing. When you +see the distant sky red, think of me no more; or, if you do, remember +what a Hell was lighted up inside of me, and think you see its flames +reflected in the clouds. Good night. Good bye!’ She called to him; but +he was gone. She sat down stupefied, until her infant roused her to a +sense of hunger, cold, and darkness. She paced the room with it the +livelong night, hushing it and soothing it. She said at intervals, ‘Like +Lilian, when her mother died and left her!’ Why was her step so quick, +her eye so wild, her love so fierce and terrible, whenever she repeated +those words? + +‘But, it is Love,’ said Trotty. ‘It is Love. She’ll never cease to love +it. My poor Meg!’ + +She dressed the child next morning with unusual care—ah, vain expenditure +of care upon such squalid robes!—and once more tried to find some means +of life. It was the last day of the Old Year. She tried till night, and +never broke her fast. She tried in vain. + +She mingled with an abject crowd, who tarried in the snow, until it +pleased some officer appointed to dispense the public charity (the lawful +charity; not that once preached upon a Mount), to call them in, and +question them, and say to this one, ‘Go to such a place,’ to that one, +‘Come next week;’ to make a football of another wretch, and pass him here +and there, from hand to hand, from house to house, until he wearied and +lay down to die; or started up and robbed, and so became a higher sort of +criminal, whose claims allowed of no delay. Here, too, she failed. + +She loved her child, and wished to have it lying on her breast. And that +was quite enough. + +It was night: a bleak, dark, cutting night: when, pressing the child +close to her for warmth, she arrived outside the house she called her +home. She was so faint and giddy, that she saw no one standing in the +doorway until she was close upon it, and about to enter. Then, she +recognised the master of the house, who had so disposed himself—with his +person it was not difficult—as to fill up the whole entry. + +‘O!’ he said softly. ‘You have come back?’ + +She looked at the child, and shook her head. + +‘Don’t you think you have lived here long enough without paying any rent? +Don’t you think that, without any money, you’ve been a pretty constant +customer at this shop, now?’ said Mr. Tugby. + +She repeated the same mute appeal. + +‘Suppose you try and deal somewhere else,’ he said. ‘And suppose you +provide yourself with another lodging. Come! Don’t you think you could +manage it?’ + +She said in a low voice, that it was very late. To-morrow. + +‘Now I see what you want,’ said Tugby; ‘and what you mean. You know +there are two parties in this house about you, and you delight in setting +’em by the ears. I don’t want any quarrels; I’m speaking softly to avoid +a quarrel; but if you don’t go away, I’ll speak out loud, and you shall +cause words high enough to please you. But you shan’t come in. That I +am determined.’ + +She put her hair back with her hand, and looked in a sudden manner at the +sky, and the dark lowering distance. + +‘This is the last night of an Old Year, and I won’t carry ill-blood and +quarrellings and disturbances into a New One, to please you nor anybody +else,’ said Tugby, who was quite a retail Friend and Father. ‘I wonder +you an’t ashamed of yourself, to carry such practices into a New Year. +If you haven’t any business in the world, but to be always giving way, +and always making disturbances between man and wife, you’d be better out +of it. Go along with you.’ + +‘Follow her! To desperation!’ + +Again the old man heard the voices. Looking up, he saw the figures +hovering in the air, and pointing where she went, down the dark street. + +‘She loves it!’ he exclaimed, in agonised entreaty for her. ‘Chimes! she +loves it still!’ + +‘Follow her!’ The shadow swept upon the track she had taken, like a +cloud. + +He joined in the pursuit; he kept close to her; he looked into her face. +He saw the same fierce and terrible expression mingling with her love, +and kindling in her eyes. He heard her say, ‘Like Lilian! To be changed +like Lilian!’ and her speed redoubled. + +O, for something to awaken her! For any sight, or sound, or scent, to +call up tender recollections in a brain on fire! For any gentle image of +the Past, to rise before her! + +‘I was her father! I was her father!’ cried the old man, stretching out +his hands to the dark shadows flying on above. ‘Have mercy on her, and +on me! Where does she go? Turn her back! I was her father!’ + +But they only pointed to her, as she hurried on; and said, ‘To +desperation! Learn it from the creature dearest to your heart!’ A +hundred voices echoed it. The air was made of breath expended in those +words. He seemed to take them in, at every gasp he drew. They were +everywhere, and not to be escaped. And still she hurried on; the same +light in her eyes, the same words in her mouth, ‘Like Lilian! To be +changed like Lilian!’ All at once she stopped. + +‘Now, turn her back!’ exclaimed the old man, tearing his white hair. ‘My +child! Meg! Turn her back! Great Father, turn her back!’ + +In her own scanty shawl, she wrapped the baby warm. With her fevered +hands, she smoothed its limbs, composed its face, arranged its mean +attire. In her wasted arms she folded it, as though she never would +resign it more. And with her dry lips, kissed it in a final pang, and +last long agony of Love. + +Putting its tiny hand up to her neck, and holding it there, within her +dress, next to her distracted heart, she set its sleeping face against +her: closely, steadily, against her: and sped onward to the River. + +To the rolling River, swift and dim, where Winter Night sat brooding like +the last dark thoughts of many who had sought a refuge there before her. +Where scattered lights upon the banks gleamed sullen, red, and dull, as +torches that were burning there, to show the way to Death. Where no +abode of living people cast its shadow, on the deep, impenetrable, +melancholy shade. + +To the River! To that portal of Eternity, her desperate footsteps tended +with the swiftness of its rapid waters running to the sea. He tried to +touch her as she passed him, going down to its dark level: but, the wild +distempered form, the fierce and terrible love, the desperation that had +left all human check or hold behind, swept by him like the wind. + +He followed her. She paused a moment on the brink, before the dreadful +plunge. He fell down on his knees, and in a shriek addressed the figures +in the Bells now hovering above them. + +‘I have learnt it!’ cried the old man. ‘From the creature dearest to my +heart! O, save her, save her!’ + +He could wind his fingers in her dress; could hold it! As the words +escaped his lips, he felt his sense of touch return, and knew that he +detained her. + +The figures looked down steadfastly upon him. + +‘I have learnt it!’ cried the old man. ‘O, have mercy on me in this +hour, if, in my love for her, so young and good, I slandered Nature in +the breasts of mothers rendered desperate! Pity my presumption, +wickedness, and ignorance, and save her.’ He felt his hold relaxing. +They were silent still. + +‘Have mercy on her!’ he exclaimed, ‘as one in whom this dreadful crime +has sprung from Love perverted; from the strongest, deepest Love we +fallen creatures know! Think what her misery must have been, when such +seed bears such fruit! Heaven meant her to be good. There is no loving +mother on the earth who might not come to this, if such a life had gone +before. O, have mercy on my child, who, even at this pass, means mercy +to her own, and dies herself, and perils her immortal soul, to save it!’ + +She was in his arms. He held her now. His strength was like a giant’s. + +‘I see the Spirit of the Chimes among you!’ cried the old man, singling +out the child, and speaking in some inspiration, which their looks +conveyed to him. ‘I know that our inheritance is held in store for us by +Time. I know there is a sea of Time to rise one day, before which all +who wrong us or oppress us will be swept away like leaves. I see it, on +the flow! I know that we must trust and hope, and neither doubt +ourselves, nor doubt the good in one another. I have learnt it from the +creature dearest to my heart. I clasp her in my arms again. O Spirits, +merciful and good, I take your lesson to my breast along with her! O +Spirits, merciful and good, I am grateful!’ + +He might have said more; but, the Bells, the old familiar Bells, his own +dear, constant, steady friends, the Chimes, began to ring the joy-peals +for a New Year: so lustily, so merrily, so happily, so gaily, that he +leapt upon his feet, and broke the spell that bound him. + + * * * * * + +‘And whatever you do, father,’ said Meg, ‘don’t eat tripe again, without +asking some doctor whether it’s likely to agree with you; for how you +_have_ been going on, Good gracious!’ + +She was working with her needle, at the little table by the fire; +dressing her simple gown with ribbons for her wedding. So quietly happy, +so blooming and youthful, so full of beautiful promise, that he uttered a +great cry as if it were an Angel in his house; then flew to clasp her in +his arms. + +But, he caught his feet in the newspaper, which had fallen on the hearth; +and somebody came rushing in between them. + +‘No!’ cried the voice of this same somebody; a generous and jolly voice +it was! ‘Not even you. Not even you. The first kiss of Meg in the New +Year is mine. Mine! I have been waiting outside the house, this hour, +to hear the Bells and claim it. Meg, my precious prize, a happy year! A +life of happy years, my darling wife!’ + +And Richard smothered her with kisses. + +You never in all your life saw anything like Trotty after this. I don’t +care where you have lived or what you have seen; you never in all your +life saw anything at all approaching him! He sat down in his chair and +beat his knees and cried; he sat down in his chair and beat his knees and +laughed; he sat down in his chair and beat his knees and laughed and +cried together; he got out of his chair and hugged Meg; he got out of his +chair and hugged Richard; he got out of his chair and hugged them both at +once; he kept running up to Meg, and squeezing her fresh face between his +hands and kissing it, going from her backwards not to lose sight of it, +and running up again like a figure in a magic lantern; and whatever he +did, he was constantly sitting himself down in his chair, and never +stopping in it for one single moment; being—that’s the truth—beside +himself with joy. + +‘And to-morrow’s your wedding-day, my pet!’ cried Trotty. ‘Your real, +happy wedding-day!’ + +‘To-day!’ cried Richard, shaking hands with him. ‘To-day. The Chimes +are ringing in the New Year. Hear them!’ + +They WERE ringing! Bless their sturdy hearts, they WERE ringing! Great +Bells as they were; melodious, deep-mouthed, noble Bells; cast in no +common metal; made by no common founder; when had they ever chimed like +that, before! + +‘But, to-day, my pet,’ said Trotty. ‘You and Richard had some words +to-day.’ + +‘Because he’s such a bad fellow, father,’ said Meg. ‘An’t you, Richard? +Such a headstrong, violent man! He’d have made no more of speaking his +mind to that great Alderman, and putting _him_ down I don’t know where, +than he would of—’ + +‘—Kissing Meg,’ suggested Richard. Doing it too! + +‘No. Not a bit more,’ said Meg. ‘But I wouldn’t let him, father. Where +would have been the use!’ + +‘Richard my boy!’ cried Trotty. ‘You was turned up Trumps originally; +and Trumps you must be, till you die! But, you were crying by the fire +to-night, my pet, when I came home! Why did you cry by the fire?’ + +‘I was thinking of the years we’ve passed together, father. Only that. +And thinking that you might miss me, and be lonely.’ + +Trotty was backing off to that extraordinary chair again, when the child, +who had been awakened by the noise, came running in half-dressed. + +‘Why, here she is!’ cried Trotty, catching her up. ‘Here’s little +Lilian! Ha ha ha! Here we are and here we go! O here we are and here +we go again! And here we are and here we go! and Uncle Will too!’ +Stopping in his trot to greet him heartily. ‘O, Uncle Will, the vision +that I’ve had to-night, through lodging you! O, Uncle Will, the +obligations that you’ve laid me under, by your coming, my good friend!’ + +Before Will Fern could make the least reply, a band of music burst into +the room, attended by a lot of neighbours, screaming ‘A Happy New Year, +Meg!’ ‘A Happy Wedding!’ ‘Many of ’em!’ and other fragmentary good +wishes of that sort. The Drum (who was a private friend of Trotty’s) +then stepped forward, and said: + +‘Trotty Veck, my boy! It’s got about, that your daughter is going to be +married to-morrow. There an’t a soul that knows you that don’t wish you +well, or that knows her and don’t wish her well. Or that knows you both, +and don’t wish you both all the happiness the New Year can bring. And +here we are, to play it in and dance it in, accordingly.’ + +Which was received with a general shout. The Drum was rather drunk, +by-the-bye; but, never mind. + +‘What a happiness it is, I’m sure,’ said Trotty, ‘to be so esteemed! How +kind and neighbourly you are! It’s all along of my dear daughter. She +deserves it!’ + +They were ready for a dance in half a second (Meg and Richard at the +top); and the Drum was on the very brink of feathering away with all his +power; when a combination of prodigious sounds was heard outside, and a +good-humoured comely woman of some fifty years of age, or thereabouts, +came running in, attended by a man bearing a stone pitcher of terrific +size, and closely followed by the marrow-bones and cleavers, and the +bells; not _the_ Bells, but a portable collection on a frame. + +Trotty said, ‘It’s Mrs. Chickenstalker!’ And sat down and beat his knees +again. + +‘Married, and not tell me, Meg!’ cried the good woman. ‘Never! I +couldn’t rest on the last night of the Old Year without coming to wish +you joy. I couldn’t have done it, Meg. Not if I had been bed-ridden. +So here I am; and as it’s New Year’s Eve, and the Eve of your wedding +too, my dear, I had a little flip made, and brought it with me.’ + +Mrs. Chickenstalker’s notion of a little flip did honour to her +character. The pitcher steamed and smoked and reeked like a volcano; and +the man who had carried it, was faint. + +‘Mrs. Tugby!’ said Trotty, who had been going round and round her, in an +ecstasy.—‘I _should_ say, Chickenstalker—Bless your heart and soul! A +Happy New Year, and many of ’em! Mrs. Tugby,’ said Trotty when he had +saluted her;—‘I _should_ say, Chickenstalker—This is William Fern and +Lilian.’ + +The worthy dame, to his surprise, turned very pale and very red. + +‘Not Lilian Fern whose mother died in Dorsetshire!’ said she. + +Her uncle answered ‘Yes,’ and meeting hastily, they exchanged some +hurried words together; of which the upshot was, that Mrs. Chickenstalker +shook him by both hands; saluted Trotty on his cheek again of her own +free will; and took the child to her capacious breast. + +‘Will Fern!’ said Trotty, pulling on his right-hand muffler. ‘Not the +friend you was hoping to find?’ + +‘Ay!’ returned Will, putting a hand on each of Trotty’s shoulders. ‘And +like to prove a’most as good a friend, if that can be, as one I found.’ + +‘O!’ said Trotty. ‘Please to play up there. Will you have the +goodness!’ + +To the music of the band, and, the bells, the marrow-bones and cleavers, +all at once; and while the Chimes were yet in lusty operation out of +doors; Trotty, making Meg and Richard, second couple, led off Mrs. +Chickenstalker down the dance, and danced it in a step unknown before or +since; founded on his own peculiar trot. + +Had Trotty dreamed? Or, are his joys and sorrows, and the actors in +them, but a dream; himself a dream; the teller of this tale a dreamer, +waking but now? If it be so, O listener, dear to him in all his visions, +try to bear in mind the stern realities from which these shadows come; +and in your sphere—none is too wide, and none too limited for such an +end—endeavour to correct, improve, and soften them. So may the New Year +be a happy one to you, happy to many more whose happiness depends on you! +So may each year be happier than the last, and not the meanest of our +brethren or sisterhood debarred their rightful share, in what our Great +Creator formed them to enjoy. \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/TextMining.py b/TextMining.py new file mode 100644 index 0000000..ec02480 --- /dev/null +++ b/TextMining.py @@ -0,0 +1,240 @@ +""" +Finds the relevant words associated with the main motifs in the novel + +@author: Kevin Guo +""" +from pattern.en import * +import matplotlib.pyplot as plt +import pickle +import re +from pattern.web import * +import nltk +from nltk.corpus import wordnet as wn +import numpy as np + + +def pickle_files(text): + """ + Pickle all files + """ + for i in range(5): + name = 'pickle' + str(i) + '.txt' + pickle.dump(text,open(name,'w')) + +def create_dictionary(words): + """ + Create a dictionary given a list of words + + >>> create_dictionary(['bug','bug','chess']) + {'bug': 2, 'chess': 1} + """ + #initialize dictionary + dictionary = dict() + + #creates a histogram of words given + for word in words: + if(word not in dictionary): + dictionary[word] = 1 + else: + dictionary[word] += 1 + + return dictionary + +def read_main_dictionary(): + """ + Create and modify dictionary for the main text to remove words that are implausible matches + """ + #read file + a = open("Text1.txt") + #make all characters in file lowercase + book = a.read().lower() + a.close() + #remove all characters that are not alphabetical + book = re.sub('[^a-z]', ' ', book) + words = book.split() + #histogram for main dictionary + dictionary = create_dictionary(words) + #modify dictionary by frequency of words + threshold(dictionary,.02,.002) + return dictionary + +def create_dictionary_list(): + """ + Create dictionaries for other texts by the same author + """ + #open text files + b = open("Text2.txt") + c = open("Text3.txt") + d = open("Text4.txt") + e = open("Text5.txt") + + #move texts into histogram + book2 = b.read().lower() + b.close() + book2 = re.sub('[^a-z]', ' ', book2) + words2 = book2.split() + dictionary2 = create_dictionary(words2) + + book3 = c.read().lower() + c.close() + book3 = re.sub('[^a-z]', ' ', book3) + words3 = book3.split() + dictionary3= create_dictionary(words3) + + book4 = d.read().lower() + d.close() + book4 = re.sub('[^a-z]', ' ', book4) + words4 = book4.split() + dictionary4 = create_dictionary(words4) + + book5 = e.read().lower() + e.close() + book5 = re.sub('[^a-z]', ' ', book5) + words5 = book5.split() + dictionary5= create_dictionary(words5) + + return [dictionary2, dictionary3, dictionary4, dictionary5] + +def threshold(dictionary,upper_threshold_percent,lower_threshold_percent): + """ + Remove entries from the dictionary that have a frequency which is not within the desired range + """ + length = len(dictionary) + #convert percentages to numerical threshold + upper_threshold = upper_threshold_percent*length + lower_threshold = lower_threshold_percent*length + #remove entries that are not in the range + for x,y in dictionary.items(): + if y > upper_threshold or y <= lower_threshold: + del(dictionary[x]) + +def alphabetical(dictionary): + """ + Returns list of most common words in alphabetical order + """ + #create empty list + lst = [] + #inputs keys of dictionary into a list + for x,y in dictionary.items(): + lst.append(x) + #sort list by alphabetical order + lst.sort() + return lst + +def most_common(dictionary): + """ + Returns list of most common words sorted by frequency + """ + #create empty tuple + tupl = [] + #reverses dictionary inside a tuple + for x,y in dictionary.items(): + tupl.append((y,x)) + #sort tuple by frequency of words + tupl.sort() + + lst = [] + #create a list sorted by frequency of words + for x,y in tupl: + lst.append(y) + return lst + +def subtract_dictionaries(threshold): + """ + Removes an entry from the main dictionary if the number of appearances of that word is relatively the same as + the number of appearances in other books (this would identify which words are commonly used by the author + compared to those which are actually significant) + + Receives a threshold that indicates significance of word required to remain in dictionary. + """ + #creates list of dictionaries of words in other books + dictionary_list = create_dictionary_list() + #creates dictionary for somewhat filtered words in main book + main_dictionary = read_main_dictionary() + + #iterate through each book in the list of books + for i in range(len(dictionary_list)): + for word,freq in dictionary_list[i].items(): + for x,y in main_dictionary.items(): + #test if the frequency of each word in the main text is significant relative to the frequency of that word in other texts + if(x == word and float(y)/freq < threshold): + #remove insignificant words + del main_dictionary[x] + + return main_dictionary + +def motif_sentiment(lst): + """ + Unused code which returns sentiments of individual words + """ + sentiment_dictionary = dict() + for word in lst: + sentiment_dictionary[word] = sentiment(word) + return sentiment_dictionary + +def plot_texts(dictionary): + """ + Plots the words in a bar graph in order of frequency for easier visualization + """ + fig = plt.figure() + ax = fig.add_subplot(111) + + ## the data + N = len(dictionary) + tup = [] + lstx = [] + lsty = [] + + #sort words by frequency + for x,y in dictionary.items(): + tup.append((y,x)) + tup.sort(reverse=True) + + for y,x in tup: + lstx.append(x) + lsty.append(y) + + ## necessary variables + ind = np.arange(N) # the x locations for the groups + width = 0.35 # the width of the bars + + ## the bars + rects1 = ax.bar(ind, lsty, width, color='blue') + # # axes and labels + ax.set_xlim(-width,len(ind)+width) + ax.set_ylim(0,200) + ax.set_ylabel('Frequency') + ax.set_title('Frequency of most common themes') + ax.set_xticks(ind+width) + xtickNames = ax.set_xticklabels(lstx) + plt.setp(xtickNames, rotation=90, fontsize=8) + + plt.show() + +if __name__ == '__main__': + import doctest + # doctest.testmod() + motifs = subtract_dictionaries(1.0) + plot_texts(motifs) + # print motif_sentiment(motifs) + # word = wn.synset('beer.n.01') + # print word.hypernyms() + + # print sentiment(motifs) + # plot_texts(motifs) + # print alphabetical(subtract_dictionaries(1.0)) + + + #Test code for natural language processing + # a = alphabetical(subtract_dictionaries(1.0)) + # print a + # text = nltk.Text(a) + # text = nltk.Text(word.lower() for word in nltk.corpus.brown.words()) + # print text + + + # temp = dict() + # for i in range(len(a)): + # for j in range(len(a)-i): + # if(text.similar(dict[i]) + # print text.similar('gold') \ No newline at end of file diff --git a/figure_1.png b/figure_1.png new file mode 100644 index 0000000..d921ed6 Binary files /dev/null and b/figure_1.png differ